#yes bisexuality exists and is valid

[clawsextended]

in my perfect world everyone makes so many lesbian muses the men then have to deal with the exact same behavior when every single post ever written isn’t about dick.

[cetoddle]

every woman on earth is the most beautiful show stopping incredible gorgeous person alive and 90% of men make me go ewwwwww…what is that..

[drchucktingle]

i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS

okay here is what i have to say:

i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work

HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.

this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay

a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK

HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.

YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.

I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL

of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.

i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.

it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.

but it is not a simple button push.

talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.

but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot

i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect

[moonlightsapphic]

thoughts on xo, kitty:

i had the time of my life getting straightbaited in s1, loved it and very much believed it was set up beautifully for a kittyuri ending

i once again had the time of my life getting straightbaited by the s2 trailer (which had initially dissapointed me), and then once again squealing at kittyuri moments in the actual season lol

god yuri is so hot

god minho is so hot

this show is bisexual propaganda if there ever was any

i have said it before and i will say it again: this is the queer/sapphic teen asian american romcom we want and need! it’s just like the dumb straight shows! WE DESERVE TO GIGGLE AND CRINGE TOO

i was surprised (but not displeased!) to see a setup for another season rather than an ending with this one. manifesting an easy renewal. (thank u, straight taltbilb fandom, for helping feed the netflix marketing beast for our chaotic bisexual show.) that being said, they could totally have ended it here and idk what the fuck they’re even going to have as a plot for s3.

i have a love/hate relationship with new characters being introduced and the silly plotlines and also the somewhat disjointed dialogues sometimes but it’s also all very endearing lol.

i love the family drama in the show! the execution is lighthearted yes but fellow asian viewers know what i mean. <333

i genuinely don’t know who kitty is going to end up with! but that’s jenny han to you. tsitp would feel the same if the source material didn’t already tell us the ending, too.

i was a kittyuri truther after s1 but now i’m leaning mooncovey just because of how the development/excecution went … and i’m not mad either way lol. all i can tell you is that something viscerally bisexual was happening to me everytime i saw kittyuri on screen in s1 and mooncovey on screen in s2 (with some overlap. screams)

i did feel a little dissapointed to see yuri always chasing what she can’t have this season but really it made a lot of sense and i’m excited to see her development next season.

while yuri has commited many crimes which is what makes her iconic, minho is so babygirl and has never done anything wrong in his life. the shoujo manga/kdrama mooncovey moments were just *chef’s kiss* YES MA’AM GIVE THE VIEWERS WHAT THEY WANT

my girlfriend ships mindae and i think she’s crazy but also i see it, dae is the only one other than kitty that minho could satisfactorily end up with. god i was so mad when i thought they were making an ohio rando his endgame lmaoooo and i was GENUINELY concerned that the kittyuri hate train from mooncovey shippers would descend like bloodthirsty sharks if that happened. praying to god they don’t just push minho or yuri with any ole new character at the end of s3 just to have them not be single. that would be lame. mindae is more than fair game though. 😝 they get into so many fights, it has to mean something … brb getting lost in the gay dae theories …

yuri & dae’s friendship will never grow old to me. i love i love i LOVE

also love it when the characters speak korean amongst themselves, which really drives home how multicultural the show really is. (also it’s hilarious how madison, a literal white girl, speaks better korean than kitty lmao.)

a part of the mooncovey fanbase is very biphobic and lesbophobic and we really need to shame them for it because it’s super annoying. like yeah i know you’re coming from tatbilb which taught you queers exist only in the form of the gay guy best friend for the straight girl protagonist but! jenny han has grown! have you not seen tsitp?! have you also not noticed kitty was never like lara jean?! she wore a mf suit to their dad’s wedding for god’s sake sigh. disrespectfully, if your ship can’t exist without lame excuses on why an alternate ship isn’t as “valid”, then your ship probably isn’t that great in the first place. which is sad, because mooncovey is an awesome ship.

overall a slay. jenny han i know we have a fraught relationship but they could never make me hate you. truly one of the few people in mainstream cishet romcom media that said “actually queer people should be included af because they’re FUN and an underappreciated goldmine!” she also never lets the fandom tell her what to do. you keep doing you, queen!!! i mean it! 💖

[velvetvexations]

It's been awhile since I elaborated on my gender feelings, and I've had a lot of further thoughts, so here's a post about that. It's kinna unfocused. I don't really have many segues between points, I'm just throwing stuff out there. Maybe I'll edit it into something more readable later.

I identify with both the words "male" and "woman" because I feel them both about equally, intertwined, and sex and gender are equally arbitrarily. Most trans women are female, and like, that's great for them, but I'm not. I'm a male and I'm happy to be a male. While the word "man" is completely alien to me and I have having it applied to me, I do feel a strong kinship with other queer males, particuarly trans men and gay cis men.

One could theoretically call me bisexual, but I don't really vibe with being bi. When I'm with someone who also identifies as male, I'm a gay male, and when I'm with someone who identifies as female, I'm a straight male. I feel very strongly about that, not because I have anything against bi people, who are all very lovely, but being a gay male and a straight male at once is very key to how I experience gender.

I actually feel very seen when TERFs talk about trans women being parodies of femininity, and feeling insulted by the appropriation of womanhood as a costume. Other trans women aren't anything like that, but actually, my womanhood is very much satirical, and people who are offended by that should be offended by me. I am mocking women and femininity when I put on a skirt and call myself a woman, at least to ones who find that insulting in the first place.

If you're a cis woman who isn't offended by the idea of someone AMAB wearing a skirt, there's nothing offensive about me, but for someone for whom that constitutes an insult, yes, good, that's what I'm going for! Be insulted! I am parodying you. Especially when I dress up in hyper-pink frilly sissy outfits. "Bleh, look at me, this is what a woman is lol!"

You'd think people who consider themselves gender abolitionists would be more onboard with the idea of parodying gender. But a lot of TRFs are also offended by me in the opposite direction, though they disguise it as parternalistic worry over my "self-hate."

I would probably be the most normie woman ever if I had been allowed to transition when I was younger, but I wasn't, and now I'm the pornsick male crossdresser some other women, both cis and trans, feel extistentially threatened by. And TRFs take that as me indulging in self-hate, when it's entirely love for who I am. I like being a pornsick male crossdresser and calling my womanhood fake and artificial. I'm a fake and artificial person.

You'd think people who talk about themselves as robot girls all the time would be on board with this, but they use robots as a tortured metaphor for their victimhood, whereas it's much more empowering for me, and tbh goes a lot harder.

The thing is, yes, I'm a pornsick male crossdresser who performs womanhood much the same way a clown performs at a circus, but there's nothing underneath that! A statue of a woman is a fake woman but that doesn't make the statue a man. I simply am the idea of artificial womanhood, stripped of what makes that cute and gender validating for people really into that doll kink universe. I'm built with the wrong parts, big and hairy, with a deep voice, and when people see me they see a fake woman, and that makes me kick my legs in the air because that's what I am. Still not a man. Just a fake woman.

That doesn't mean everyone with those traits is a fake woman. Gender is inherently fake and not real and has no rules. The same person could be a he/him or a she/her or a xi/xir and you would never know because it's just an internal thing. Only you can decide if you're a man or a woman or whatever, or if you're male or female or both or neither.

And my gender, in many ways, is the embodiment of the transmisogynistic caricature. If you're cool about very butch trans women my existence shouldn't be insulting to you and you just move on, but some trans women are really bothered by that, and like with cis women, it's like, okay lol, good. Be insulted. I am parodying all womanhood, you're included in that, you're welcome. I am a nexus of misogyny for people who want so badly to see misogyny in another person dressing and performing gender the wrong way. I am a living monument of spite towards anyone who wants to control the self-expression of others based on their own insecurities. And in the course of my being a gay clown who calls myself a woman, I will make gender into a balloon animal, and everyone else - the ones who accept and encourage freedom of self-expression in others, who know that nothing I do for myself has to have implications for them - will be delighted.

[fiona-fififi]

The number of people who think that every representation of queer sexuality has to intimately tie a specific sexuality label deeply to an individual's identity is kind of disheartening to me.

"This representation of Buck is biphobic because he's not constantly stressing over what this new discovery means about his identity."

Well. Okay. Listen. Some of us don't feel that deep tie between our sexuality and our identity. When I realized I was bi, I realized two things: I like women, too, and I'm not particularly concerned about the gender identity of my partners. It wasn't some epic realization that I agonized over trying to understand myself. I wouldn't even necessarily call it part of my identity. Yes, being bisexual is part of who I am and there are all kinds of layers to that, but it doesn't inform all parts of me. I am not a sexuality-first kind of person when it comes to identity. Bisexuality is just a small piece of me that largely feels inconsequential to the larger makeup of who I am.

I love the way Buck has been portrayed because of this very thing. Because so often, the stories I see told are about young adults agonizing over what their queer identities mean and how they can define themselves and how this new understanding of their sexuality fundamentally changes who they are. And that's important, absolutely.

But it feels really nice to see a character just realize, embrace it, and continue to exist with this new piece of themself.

For Buck, I don't see his sexuality as something he would go on a research spiral over. Because it just is. Yeah, there will be moments where a new feeling takes him off guard, but I don't see Buck as a character who would struggle with the label or feel the need to seek out a new community or what have you. He very much feels like a character for whom liking men, too, would just make sense, and then be part of him.

And I understand why not everyone likes that. But it makes me sad to see so many people insisting that this portrayal of Buck is actually biphobic because they're not letting him deal with his sexuality the "right" way.

Because the way Buck is dealing with his sexuality is very much exactly representative of my own experience, which I don't think I've ever seen before in media.

So seeing that constantly attacked just feels like, once again, I'm being told that my experience is not a valid way to experience my sexuality and that I don't really have a place in the queer community.

And that just makes me sad.

[dotthings]

Let me reiterate some things, because concern trolls love to concern troll

Some highlights from TV Line's summary of the GLAAD findings:

"36% of TV’s LGBTQ characters will not be returning next season, for several reasons including series being cancelled"

"LGBTQ-inclusive shows such as The Rookie: Feds, once cancelled, are not being replaced with similarly inclusive programs"

"LGBTQ inclusion on broadcast-TV series declined to a six-year low"

only a "fraction" of this decline can be assigned to the impact of the strikes

"new inclusive programming was not ordered to replace cancelled series such as Feds, Legends of Tomorrow and Gotham Knights"

Direct quote from GLAAD: "there is not a single series currently on broadcast TV that has an LGBTQ character as the sole protagonist"

GLAAD president and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis: “LGBTQ inclusion in entertainment is important to more than two in every five of all American adults, and 'super majorities' of LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ 18-24 year olds actively seek out queer-inclusive media — but only 38% are satisfied with how LGBTQ people are presented.”

These lacks make it even more egregious and horrendous how people yell and shame people for saying queer coded characters are queer coded and that it's valid and part of canon and if you also would like to see it become open that this is an attack on existing representation.

Are you f*cking kidding me!!!!!!????????

"But you already have--" OMFG KARENS SHUT UP, there isn't enough representation, there never has been, but now it's even worse, not better. Sit down, listen for a change instead of yapping off your ignorant mouths.

But okay, standom Karens. You're going to tag Misha and the CW like you're calling the TV network cops to report Misha for criticizing the state of representation in media and how CW Network stifled queerness on SPN and cry about "what about what GLAAD" said. Yes what about what GLAAD said? Did you even pay attention to what GLAAD is actually saying?

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

My "problematic" opinion according to some randos on Tumblr is that 90% of discourse within the LGBTQIA community would be solved if we did the bare minimum of reading up on LGBTQIA history.

Yes, bisexuals were actually always a part of the community even though they can sometimes pass as straight. Yes, trans people actually existed and were a part of the struggle since day one. Yes, nonbinary people actually existed too. Yes, asexuality actually existed before the internet. Yes, kink is actually a real subculture that has existed within the community since the beginning. And unfortunately, yes, there have actually been (and still are) issues such as lesbophobia, biphobia, and transphobia within LGBTQIA spaces and it's important to be aware of it even if it's uncomfortable to talk about.

THANK YOU!! amazing opinion Anon! Stay safe and remember you are always valid <3

[not-goldy]

https://www.tumblr.com/not-goldy/764350700052529153/jungkook-is-doing-fs-with-tae-and-jm-to-keep-both?source=share

Anon has a point though (before someone lynches me let me elaborate please), aside from what they pointed out he was with a girl at night back in February, and when asked about the existence of someone in his life months later what he replied was “I don’t have a gf now” + “I’m focusing on work” which could mean that at some point there was someone. I don’t think it’s crazy to come to that conclusion.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if he’s queer or not, if he is I’ll always support him. Maybe I’m just being overly rational or pessimistic? At this point I don’t know where we should draw the line considering we keep saying we need to believe in his words/actions, because he indeed said all that in the Stationhead live.

I genuinely don’t care if he plays around with Taehyung, he has done that with Jin and Hoseok too and they are all family. However, for me if he is with Jimin but did all that with the girl from the video… I don’t know how I would feel about it. I know people are going to say I’m being heteronormative but let’s be honest guys, we don’t know his sexuality. Many think he’s gay but it’s just guessing, he could perfectly be bisexual (stop erasing bisexuality please 😭 it exists and it’s valid) and if he is attracted to women and acts like that within the context the sasaeng provided, EVEN thought he could be dating Jimin then it’s not looking good.

I’m sorry I know I sound annoying but I’ve been feeling conflicted for a while, I don’t rule out the possibility of being wrong though so I’ll actually like to hear other people’s opinion.

These days I try not to go back and forth with with rat heads over what is and inst a valid queer moment or relationship but since you are equally a joker I'll indulge you

No. You not annoying you just sound like you stretching. He did all that with the girl from a video- were they having sex in the video? What exactly is compromising about that even if that were him??

If he had female friends prey tell how do you think he relates with them? Walk around with a top grade fiber shield between them? You are seeing him relate with girls the same way he relates with boys and drawing different conclusions about it- what's rational about that??

If he back hugged Jimin and back hugged Tae you'd say he wasn't dating any of them but somehow if he did the same thing with a girl then he'd have to be dating that girl because somehow you expect him to relate differently with boys and girls.

Drop your logic in the toilet and flash it cos it stinks every where

And what do you need him to do to assume he's queer too??

I mean if all it stakes for him to be may be straight is to be seen back hugging a girl then there's plenty of photos of pictures and videos of him back hugging boys too. He must be queer too.

All it took for him to be dating Lisa was a a tattoo of an eye on his boy but somehow a tattoo of a name and several other symbols that conveniently spells out JM or point to JM can't be taken as a tattoo of a boy he likes on his body.

Y'all have a low standard for him to be straight and high standard for him to be queer is giving heteronormativity

Your talking about a made up story about vals day nonsense but let's ignore all the white day events the GCF in Tokyos let's conveniently side step that because it was years ago because being queer is time bound. Queer in 2020. Well it's 2024 and we can't be sure perhaps he needs to renew his queer validation card every year since it expires as time passes

I wonder if straight people marriages are valid each year or they need to be seen in wedding gowns each year for those marriages to be valid too and God forbid that the couples are seen interacting with members of other sexes.

I wonder if this shit goes down in straight ship spaces. are we still shipping Tom and Zendaya I mean are they even real the last time we saw them kiss was 10 years ago.

Equality is us invalidating straight relationships the same way straight people invalidate queer relationships.

If I don't see your boyfriends with a wedding ring reenacting your engagement proposal every night y'all not engaged and if the engagement is over four years- well that was then this is now.

[mulderscully]

been thinking about some peoples complaints about how the movie handled alex's coming out as opposed to the book.

part of me understands because the movie did sort of neuter this as well as the depth of henry's mental illness, but at the same time i understand why. the movie is already two hours long and tbh if they wanted to do a fully faithful adaptation (which imo is not necessary) it maybe should've been a mini series.

and aside from taking out liam, tbh i still think that all happened just wasn't shown, and the fact that this is why alex has always known he's "lowkey into dudes" i feel like people don't fully grasp what alex goes through in that time after new years in the movie.

not every bisexual person has the same experience, but i can relate to alex pretty well both in the book and in the movie in terms of his sexuality cause they actually are pretty similar.

a lot of times when you're bisexual you just feel like everyone feels this way. you sort of feel like being straight is what being bisexual is, because the idea that others do not experience attraction to the same and different genders sounds... fake. like. i'm not even joking when i say i have a hard time believing straight people exist. i fully, of course, believe gay people exist, but people being straight and not queer at all makes me ??? sometimes, even now that i have identified as bi for over ten years.

then, there is a pretty big difference between knowing you experience same gender attraction from time to time and actively identifying as a bisexual person, as a queer person, a member of the lgbtq community.

bisexuals, to this day, are made to feel like we do not belong by both heterosexual people and our own community (which is why ellen telling alex the b in lgbtq is not a silent letter realllly matters) so sometimes you really do just shut out that part of yourself and choose to see yourself as straight because it's not worth fighting all the biphobia that you face, but it's still a part of you that you are shutting out and repressing, which is what alex was doing with henry the entire time and where his alleged dislike of him comes from in the first place. henry hates how much he loves alex so he's mean to him, alex doesn't understand why henry is mean to him because he wants henry to like him because he ALSO has feelings for him and those things clash.

during the time that henry ghosts him alex has time to evaluate himself, his feelings and his identity. he has the time to say "this is not something that i am going to ignore about myself anymore" and it may not be as magnified as it is for henry because they're in different positions in terms of support systems, it's still powerful.

when he comes out to henry, you can tell he is getting used to thinking of himself as bisexual but you can also tell that he is nervous to say the word, because telling someone you're bi is ALWAYS terrifying because you don't know what they might say to it. on top of that, you can feel that it is important to him to say it, to tell henry who he is now that he understands it.

being bisexual and identifying that way, and that being part of who you are and carrying it in your heart is a different thing than being like "yeah, whatever i'll make out with someone at a party" even if the latter is still a valid way to be queer. and sometimes you just look back and realize that [x] experience was NEVER straight.

and the best part of the movie to me is henry's complete acceptance of this. henry never ever questions alex's attraction to him, he never questions if alex will be able to stay committed to him, if he will leave him for a woman, if he's confused, or any of the things that STILL happen in media with bisexual characters as leads and as a bisexual person that has been one of the most freeing things to watch.

so yes, alex's bisexuality is still very important and handled as such in the film, in my personal bisexual opinion.

[noxwitmox]

Ace is like a car mod

You can be a different sexuality, but also ace

For example, you can be straight ace, lesbian ace, bisexual ace, ect

We need to normalize this way more Then just

“Oh your ace? So you aren’t attracted to anyone?”

Yes, aro and aroace people exist and are valid but just because I’m ace doesn’t mean I’m aroace



[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil Get Married, Have Kids and Retire

Objectively hilarious video honestly.

- You know what I hate them so much actually WHAT THE FUCK ON VALENTINES DAY?!

- I do love all the We're Doomed Talk tho because I was THERE HEHE.

- CLIPS FROM THE SHOW ALREADY?! @danrifics ?!

- Dan you should be pink, come on pink is your color and it would suit you so well! (But also purple is basically the nonbinary option so I will take this win.)

- Phil just fully leaning into Dan when doing the scooter bit, why. Also Phil can fully not stop looking at Dan, rather than the other way around for once. What is up with that, is it the WAD confidence and hotness Dan has because same.

- "Happiness is Penis" WHAT THE FUCK PHIL

- I also love Game of Life by the way, like I was obsessed with this game as a kid but never had anyone to play it with so someone play with me?

- Still not over them uploading this on VALENTINES DAY what has happened to them pretending Valentines Day doesn't exist?! The only thing we used to get on valentines was sometimes live events and suddenly a clickbaity video, times really are changing.

- "I want the they/them" DAN DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW WEIRDLY VALIDATING THAT FELT

- Henry... I literally just watched Phil's spooky hotel video where there was a ghost named Henry.

- I literally had a breakdown over Dan saying he wants to smell bisexual and nonbinary. Like you don't understand what this means to me okay?! I am struggling to keep my focus on anything after this.

- "Give the straights nothing" YES real

- You can tell Dan is tired from doing two shows back to back and they probably filmed this Monday, I like that he still does it for us I feel very appreciated by his effort.

- Phil picking baby over pet, I have thoughts... (The thought being that this is another moment of not talking about what is more real, aka them getting a pet.)

- Phil living a very different life having wife and kids and Dan just being still being a version of him aka a )pop)star, OnlyDan's...

- Dan looked so fond of Phil wearing the glasses and yes they are too small for Dan's face but they are objectively hilarious glasses to own.

- Dan is SO SALTY and Phil is enjoying teasing him so fucking much this is hilarious. Dan being a sore loser is truly the way I relate to him the most because I too can not stand to lose and will become a whiny child.

- Dan's absolutely lack of luck with WAD somehow seems to extend to this game.... I feel slightly bad for him.

- DAN DON'T EVEN THREATEN IT (a hiatus)

- One video, I want one video where they don't talk about piss thank you.

- GREY SWEATPANTS

- "danisnotadad" SOBBING STFU these endscards are something else and also the fact Phil just did the endscreen on his own, Dan was like 'actually, I'm out bye' and just walking out, drama gay.

(If you're new here, hey! I write down my reaction to almost every video they upload because I have a lot of them and like sharing them!)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I've let this ask sit in my inbox for a while, but I think it's time I answered it, though the answer will most certainly not be to your satisfaction, anon, I'm afraid.

First off, I'm a bisexual man, and so I definitely don't have any first hand experience of experiencing attraction to only one gender. And in these things, first hand experience is all that matters.

Secondly, as for other species, I have insufficient information about zoological studies in this field, but I don't think it's as simple as you make it sound (this isn't intended to be hostile, I'm just wondering)?

As for the last part, I certainly don't presume to define sexualities as fitting strictly into one of the boxes of culture, identity or inborn orientation. I'm sure that there are more perspectives on this than I can imagine, and I'm equally sure that the experiences of these queer people are valid.

Mainly, the reason I decided to answer this despite it being a non-answer, as you said, is because I do have something to say.

I'm not in the habit of forming opinions of subjects that I have insufficient information about. I know that being seen as neutral is often vilified. I've been in that position, being angry about people's neutrality regarding topics that to me seem obvious. I no longer agree with past-me on that stance.

I would rather not, in my ignorance, cause damage. I think that people with very strong uneducated opinions cause a good deal more harm than those who stay silent in a conflict they know nothing about. Of course this won't be true in all cases.

But personally, I prefer handing the mic over, as it were, to people with more experience, knowledge, sensitivity and perspective about the issue than I.

So, yes, I'll have to go with a very unambiguous lack of an answer here. I simply do not know enough about this, anon. Non-answers, I'm afraid, are going to be inevitable in deeply personal discussions such as these. These non-answers are invariably better than the divisive discourse, invalidation and gatekeeping that occurs a lot.

Let's all be a bit more okay with saying I don't know. I'm trying to be more okay with it every day. I cannot educate myself perfectly about every single relevant topic. I think that's alright. I hope it is.

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

Same anon that talked about the Alastor Asexual thing. I don't want to rebuttle because I don't think this is something that needs to be rebuttle, but I disagree and agree at the same time. In case this is too long, all I really wanna say is I am on the Asexual spectrum, it's not really a problem that Alastor is Asexual, I guess I just prefer when things are left to interpretation because I am someone who tends to have a lot of headcanons that clash with barely canon information (Aka information that isn't said in the actual storyline of the media, like stuff said in a post and not in the actual show or stuff like that- I always saw the Ace In A Hole line as Rosie was joking so ye) and then I often get bullied because my opinions are unpopular.

To be completely fair, after leaving my ask I realized that I was kind of wrong. In the MLP fandom, as far as I know, main characters do not have canon sexualities, but people still constantly argue "STOP SHIPPING THAT SHE'S A LESBIAN" or "STOP SHIPPING THAT SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN". So honestly, it doesn't really matter. I guess I just wish more was left for fans to interpret, because I like to interpret a lot

I don't think creators shouldn't give their character's a canon sexuality just because of possible fandom discourse. I think creator's should be allowed to do things without it causing a problem among the fandom. I still don't really like it.

As much as I dislike giving character's canonic sexualities, I agree with you. If we have to get representation, honestly my favorite is when the character isn't just a "Token [insert identity]". Alastor and Sallie May in my mind are among the best representation because Sallie isn't shoved into the narrative just because "Trans" and Alastor isn't constantly being brought into sexual situations so he can have an "iconic"ew sex" line" In the end though, I don't like assigning identities purely for "representation". (Unless that's like the only purpose of the character's existence. In which I think that's I think that's- Well not a bad character, but just kinda weird)

This point ties to the fact that people usually just assume a character is straight if not given a sexuality, so most creators don't say the character's sexuality when they're straight. But just to let it be known, I don't like it when characters are canonically straight either. There was a time where I thought Lucifer was canonlly straight and when I was a RadioApple shipper that was very disappointing to me because I thought I would get attacked for it. Now I'm pretty sure he's Bisexual, and I now don't really like RadioApple anyway. (This is sorta unrelated, but God I wish these topics were able to be spoken about without it constantly being connected to LGBTQ+ stuff)

Thank you for taking the time to give me a detailed response that isn't "Stfu you stupid acephobe, kys"

A follow up to this confession.

Hello again! That's completely valid. It can be annoying when you have a headcanon you're particularly attached to that gets completely debunked by canon.

(I'm sure Season Two of Hazbin Hotel is going to toss a lot of my assumptions into the garbage, and I'm slightly dreading it)

I'm so sorry to hear you've been bullied. Your opinions aren't hurting anyone, and you shouldn't be being harassed over them xx

True. I see a lot of fandoms (Hazbin Hotel/Hellaverse included) where popular headcanons are treated as gospel, and anything that contradicts them is shouted down. It's extremely silly behavior, if you ask me. Arguing over canon is ridiculous enough, but being genuinely angry that your favorite headcanon isn't accepted by everyone? Silly, silly, silly.

I see! I apologize if I was putting words into your mouth. You're completely free to dislike it, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

You bring up some really good points there! If you don't mind me hijacking your confession to get up on my own soapbox;

A character should never exist just for representation. To use my own status as Your Friendly Neighborhood Bisexual as an example, I personally find it demeaning when a character is shoved into the story with no traits other "The Bisexual Character". Like, great! A Bi character! But what else can you tell me about them? I don't love Vox as much as I do because he's Bisexual, if Vox's traits were all boiled down to "This is Vox, our local evil Bisexual" I'd find him boring.

(However, if anyone out there has a different viewpoint on this topic, I'd love to hear from you!)

Okay, stepping down from the soapbox now :P

As in, we should be able to discuss a character's canon sexuality (or lack thereof), without having to link it to far heavier themes of LGBTQ+ representation? If so, I do see what you mean. Still, taking a holistic approach to fandom analysis can yield some fascinating results. But that's just my inner video essayist talking!

Anon, if anyone is telling you to 'kys', please block and report them. That sort of behavior is unacceptable, and you don't deserve to be abused over fandom discourse.

Thank-you so much for dropping by my inbox again!

-Jesse xx

[rjthirsty]

Okay, I was kidding. It is actually Aro Awareness Week, but there's a lot more to it then being told aromantic people exist. The "awareness" part is meant to explain the sorts of issues aro people face in a society where we are a minority, and often ostracized due to the way we are.

The first time I came out to someone (besides my wife) about being aromantic, they said, "But you write romance so well."

I'm sure they were well-meaning. I'm sure they didn't intend to imply that I can't write about something that I don't personally experience. I'm sure they weren't attempting to argue that my labels were incorrect, that somehow I must be wrong.

But I will remember that, mainly because it wasn't that long ago, but also because that's the sort of opposition that will be thrust on someone being anything but what is normalized in our culture.

Like my transness, being aromantic was something that I kept to myself. I didn't want to bother people, or bother with people. In most cases, if I say I'm aromantic, I'm then expected to take on a teaching role and explain what that is, what it means to me, and validate and justify my reasons for labeling myself as such. It's very tiring. I'd say look it up, but with how rampant shitty AI is, I wouldn't trust people to find factual or reasonable sources.

I'm not that person anymore. I don't care to censor myself for the benefit of others. So, here we are.

I'm RJ and I'm aromantic. What that means is that I don't experience romantic attraction in the same manner that most people do.

I do have feelings. I do love people. I love my family. I love my friends. I just don't romantically love.

Being aromantic does not make me asexual.

But RJ, you play romance games! Yes, and I enjoy romance games like I enjoy psychological thrillers. They're a character study to me on all the weirdness our brains are capable of.

I am not romance repulsed... sort of. I used to think I was. It turns out I just don't like it ham-fisted into media where it isn't the central focus. This is likely a result of growing up in a society where romance is considered a human need for survival. It is not a need.

There are a lot of issues that aromantic people face due to prejudice or expected "normal" relationship standards. Marriage, a financial contract, isn't on some aro peeps minds, and as such they don't get the same rights with their partner as a spouse would. This can prove to be financially or legally limiting, especially in a medical situation. Renting or applying for a loan is less likely to be approved if you are not married, or related. Not to mention that cities are actively attempting to pass legislation to prevent non-married people from renting together (in the US).

Outside of the real hardships an aro person might face financially, medically, or legally, their relationships are also scrutinized by the larger majority of society. Considered "lesser" by some in regards to being "less meaningful," "shallow," and sometimes even referred to as "hook-up culture" for the aros that engage in casual sex, a relationship without a strong romantic tie is often dismissed by others. Even partners might not understand what being aromantic means, and (like being bisexual is demonized) sexually active aromantics are labeled as cheaters or unfaithful without any consideration to what a relationship looks to that person.

It's like starting a race already told you're not allowed to win, and if you don't win, you've proven everyone that you are not fit to be included. Yet, if you strive hard enough to win, you're the exception and not the rule, when there shouldn't be a rule in the first place.

Anyways, those are just some of the problems aromantic people face in regards to being aromantic in a society where romance is romanticized and coveted. Where romantic gestures are considered normal, and a reason to enter into legal contracts. I hope that has helped some people learn a little more about the life of an aro person.

[theophagie-remade]

I've been kind of following the Gundam lesbians vs Bandai controversy from the sidelines (ie: the main characters got married (offscreen) at the end of the series and the production team is supportive; Bandai censored the explicit mentions of marriage in a recent magazine and then said that everything is up to interpretation) and. In general it's a really good example of how oftentimes it's not authors who should mainly be blamed for the lack of unapologetic queerness in anime and manga (or anywhere else, for that matter), but those companies that they work for

Which leads me to

And as a side note I want to reiterate this but anyone who calls them "queerbait", "yuribait", etc is a stupid dickhead because Toga is bisexual and in love with Uraraka. THE QUEER IS THERE

At this point it no longer makes much sense to wonder whether the romantic undertones to Uraraka and Toga's relationship are accidental or not. I won't claim that they will definitely end up together together (although I've seen enough Japanese fans go crazy for how proposal-esque Uraraka got to, like, at least entertain the thought lol), but what I want to say is. Everything that happened between them is deliberately meant to be read as queer, romantic, and mutual. Uraraka may have not said "I love you" back to Toga in these same terms, but through her actions and words she has reciprocated her feelings. Yes, even if Those Assholes say that she's just lying, that anything that isn't spoon-fed explicitly confirmed is just a "delusional interpretation"

Even then, the supposed line between text and subtext is... a bit eyebrow raising, innit. Toga being bisexual and having feelings for Uraraka is text. Exchanging blood being equal to kissing to her is text. Her insecurities are text......... Uraraka wanting to give Toga her blood, thinking that her smile is beautiful, and that she's the cutest in the whole world is text. I feel like that strongly suggests something at minimum, no. And. Can we really call it subtext, or even coding, when characters do everything short of dramatically shouting "I gay-love you!" to each other? These are more of my personal feelings, and I know that this happens because We Live In A Society, so we tend to feel like things like these must be outright defined so that our queer interpretations can gain validity and the right to exist in the eyes of the majority (= the cishet audience), but... I do find this way of engaging with media rather stifling, especially because... people who hate us to begin with won't care if two manga girls declare their love to each other. Chances are that they will get angrier, actually, or that they will look for excuses to deny their love ("the author was pressured by crazy shippers", "akchually the wording is ambiguous", "the degenerate West is corrupting the purity of the East", you name it)

Still, I know. I know that there's a lot of hunger for undeniably canonical queer relationships (for obvious reasons! understable reasons!), but to circle back to the beginning of this post, pushing back against the system is hard. Bnha's ending is still a ways off, and no one can predict the future. We don't know if Horikoshi plans to stress even further/more bluntly within the manga that Oh, They 👭🏳️‍🌈, we don't know if Jump would allow him to, we don't know if such a thing would be met with opposition elsewhere/afterwards (see: what Bandai is trying to do now, after everything has been said and done).

Regardless, sought after explicit confirmation or not, they do have something, something that is very much there to anyone who's willing to embrace it for what it is: mutual, queer love. And they're sooo real 🩷💛