#yes I am going to tag her that way now
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the-thistle-missile · 1 year ago
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SOCK THEFT!
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arabaka · 9 months ago
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once again, feeling lonely on this site. it's devastating to see my works (Reigen's particularly) under 20 notes while others get above 100s. sighs. can't do anything about it but hope im good enough. i just feel like shit.
i don't want to sound entitled but. man does it sucks to feel unwanted. its like when i left all over again.
ok I feel like a fool and I'm better again :'))) ty everyone for reaching out and helping me shoo the nasty feelings away!!!! much love
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agayconcept · 7 months ago
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rainc0at · 8 months ago
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I LOVE THIS FUCKIJG FILM SO MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS PERFECT
#the casting is so good its oerfect they all do such good jobs iCAAAANNTT#roman and zsasz do SO WELL they creep me OUT its so GOOOOODODODO#“fuck fsmily! all due respect but fuck that!!!” all his. tantrums? how else would i word thst idk so. and like from the little bits we see#we learn so much about them. like idk shit avout them sorrt im a poser. but FUCKKXKCK its just so good#obviously margot robbie does incredibly. and cassandras actress! i know people have said they sorta dilute her character down which IS sad#esp bc i dont know anything about her either. but fuck#and the way it depicts gotham!!!!!!!!!! ive talked about this alot before and god its always sssoooooo#ITS JUST ALL SO GOOD. the humor THE WARDROBE. once again the causal lgbt rep. all the sexism stuff.#its just perfect its genuinely perfect#AGRGRHFHSJ I LOVE THIS FILM.#birds of prey#AND JUST THE WAY EVERYONE TALKS AND THE DELIVERY OF EVERYTHING. I DONT KNOW ITS JUST ALL. PERFECT.#also another mention to roman and zsasz. they do it SO. WELL. the changes in zsaszs voice AND JUST HIS GENERAL ATTITUDE. sionis and how wel#his actor does the quick switches. and again the delivery of ALL his lines. also special mention to his little spin at his first scene.#ALSO HIS AND ZSASZS LAUGHS ohmyod#and montoya does it all so well and inlove her voice and same with canary and i cant say much on them because its ALL so good that i cant#pinpoint it??????#ALSO THE HAIR TIE SCENE 💘💘💘💘💘#also forever thinking of roman and his thing with how people pronounce words. actually im sorta just always thinking about him and zsasz#zsaszmask hoffstrahm and now hannigram all live in my head. and another ship i wont say incase noah sees this. OH AND SUKEVE.#another mention to the soundtrack. oh. my. god.#another mention to how it depicts gotham. like you just see people living. in the daytime. hanging out living rhwir lives. and you see smal#businesses and a supermarket and a club and the graffiti and just somuch of the film being. in. the daytime. AND THE SKATING DERBY!#GOD i love this film so so so much can you tell#also why is all the content of my posts only ever in the tags. like okaaayy sure.#DINAHS SIDE EYE AT ROMAN AND ZSASZ WHEN THEYRE BEING EXTRA GAY I CANT DO THIS#am i gonna go and look at loads of zsaszmask content now. yes. dont judge.#also anti-big establishments moment (her robbing the store) and her promising to get sal the 75 cents. support small businesses#also bruce wayne mention theyrr always so funny#rain rambles
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scholarhect · 1 year ago
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i watched barbie again it was fun. honestly am more convinced of it having done what it set out to do than i was before. like i get it now. there are things you could criticize about what kind of movie they chose to make but i would say they were pretty successful in making a movie that worked
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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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acourtofquestions · 3 months ago
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🚨 SPOILERS🚨
Kingdom of Ash Chapter 50
Rowan's hands tightened on Aelin's shoulders as the words settled into her, hollow and cold.
"Maeve is a Valg queen?" he breathed.
Aelin said nothing. Couldn't find the words. Her power roiled. She didn't feel it.
Nesryn nodded solemnly. "Yes. The kharankui told us the entire history."
And so Nesryn did as well. Of how Maeve had somehow found a way into this world, fleeing or bored with her husband, Orcus. Erawan's elder brother. Of how Erawan, Orcus, and Mantyx had torn apart worlds to find her, Orcus's missing wife, and only halted here because the Fae had risen to challenge them. Fae led by Maeve, whom the Valg kings did not know or recognize, in the form she had taken.
The life she had crafted for herself. The minds of all the Fae who had existed that she had ripped into, convincing them that there had been three queens, not two. Including the minds of Mab and Mora, the two sister-queens who had ruled Doranelle. Including Brannon himself.
"The spiders claimed," Nesryn went on, "that even Brannon didn't know. Even now, in the Afterworld, he doesn't know. That was how deep Maeve's powers went into his mind, into all their minds. She made herself their true queen."
The words, the truth, pelted Aelin, one after another.
Elide's face was white as death. "But she fears the healers." A nod toward Yrene. "She keeps that owl, you said—an enslaved Fae healer-should the Valg ever discover her." For that was the other piece of it. The other thing Nesryn had revealed, Chaol and Yrene adding in their own accounts. The Valg were parasites. And Yrene could cure their human hosts of them. Had done so for Princess Duva. And might be able to do with so many others enslaved with rings or collars. But what had infested Duva ... A Valg princess.
Aelin leaned back into her chair, her head resting against the solid wall of Rowan's body.
His hands shook against her shoulders. Shook as he seemed to realize what, exactly, had ripped into his mind. Where Maeve's power had come from that allowed her to do so. Why she remained deathless and ageless, and had outlasted any other. Why Maeve's power was darkness.
"It is also why she fears fire," Sartaq said, jerking his chin to Aelin. "Why she fears you so."
And why she'd wanted to break her. To be just like that enslaved healer bound in owl form at her side.
"I thought—I managed to cut her once," Aelin said at last. That quiet, ancient darkness pushed in, dragging her down, down, down-" I saw her blood flow black. Then it changed to red." She blew out a breath, pulling out of the darkness, the silence that wanted to devour her whole. Made herself straighten. Peer at Fenrys.
"You said that her blood tasted ordinary to you when you swore the oath." The white wolf shifted back into his Fae body. His bronze skin was ashen, his dark eyes swimming with dread. "It did."
Rowan growled, "It didn't taste any different to me, either."
"A glamour-like the form she maintains," Gavriel mused.
Nesryn nodded. "From what the spiders said, it seems entirely possible that she would be able to convince you that her blood looked and tasted like Fae blood."
Fenrys made a sound like he was going to be sick. Aelin was inclined to do the same.
And from far away—a memory-that-was-not-a-memory stirred. Of summer nights spent in a forest glen, Maeve instructing her. Telling her a story about a queen who walked between worlds.
Who had not been content in the realm in which she'd been born, and had found a way to leave it, using the lost knowledge of ancient wayfarers. World-walkers.
Maeve had told her. Perhaps a skewed, biased tale, but she'd told her. Why? Why do it at all? Some way to win her-or to make her hesitate, should it ever come to this?
"But Maeve hates the Valg kings," Elide said, and even from the silent, drifting place to which Aelin had gone, she could see the razor-sharp mind churning behind Elide's eyes. "She's hidden for this long. Surely she wouldn't ally with them."
"She ran at the chance to get hold of a Valg collar," Fenrys said darkly. "Seemed convinced that she could control the prince inside it."
Not only through Maeve's power, but because she was a demon queen.
Aelin forced herself to take another breath. Another. Her fingers curled, gripping an invisible weapon.
Lorcan had not uttered a word. Had done nothing but stand there, pale and silent. As if he'd stopped being in his body, too.
"We don't know her plans," Nesryn said.
"The kharankui have not seen her for millennia, and only hear whisperings carried by lesser spiders. But they still worship her, and wait for her return."
Chaol met Aelin's stare, his gaze questioning.
Aelin said quietly, "I was Maeve's prisoner for two months."
Utter silence in the tent. Then she explained—all of it. Why she was not in Terrasen, who now fought there, where Dorian and Manon had gone.
Aelin swallowed as she finished, leaning into Rowan's touch. "Maeve wished me to reveal the location of the two Wyrdkeys. Wanted me to hand them over, but I managed to get them away before she took me. To Doranelle. She wanted to break me to her will. To use me to conquer the world, I thought. But it perhaps now seems she wanted to use me as a shield against the Valg, to guard her always." The words tumbled out, heavy and sharp. "I was her captive until nearly a month ago." She nodded toward her court. "When I got free, they found me again."
Silence fell again, her new companions at a loss. She didn't blame them.
Then Hasar hissed, "We'll make the bitch pay for that, too, won't we?"
Aelin met the princess's dark stare. "Yes, we will."
A Valg queen.
That's who had held his Fireheart. What sort of power had tried to break into her mind.
What power had broken into Rowan's mind.
All their minds, if she could glamour her blood to look and taste ordinary.
He felt the tension rising in Aelin, a raging storm that nearly hummed into his hands as he gripped her shoulders.
Yet her flames made no appearance. They hadn't shown so much as an ember these weeks, despite how hard they'd trained. Occasionally, he'd spy Goldryn's ruby gleaming while she held it, as if fire glowed in the heart of the stone. But nothing more. Not even when they'd tangled in their bed on the ship, when his teeth had found that mark on her neck.
Elide surveyed them all, their silence, and said to their new companions, "Perhaps we should determine a plan of action regarding tomorrow's battle." And give them time, later tonight, to sort through this colossal mess.
Chaol nodded. "We brought a trunk of books with us," he said to Aelin. "From the Torre. They're all full of Wyrdmarks." Aelin didn't so much as blink, but Chaol finished, "If we get through this battle, they're yours to peruse. In case there's anything in them that might help." Against Erawan, against Maeve, against his mate's terrible fate. Aelin just vaguely nodded.
So Rowan forced himself to shove away the shock and disgust and fear, and focus upon the plan ahead. Only Gavriel seemed able to do the same, Fenrys staying where he was, and Lorcan just staring and staring at nothing.
Aelin remained in her chair, simmering.
Roiling.
They planned it quickly and efficiently: they would return with Chaol and Yrene to the keep, to help with the fighting tomorrow. The khaganate royals would push from here, Nesryn and Prince Sartaq leading the ruks, and Princess Hasar commanding the foot soldiers and Darghan cavalry. A brilliantly trained, lethal group. Rowan had already marked the Darghan soldiers, with their fine horses and armor, their spears and crested helmets, while they'd strode for this tent, and breathed a sigh of relief at their skill. Perhaps the last sigh of relief he'd have in this war. Certainly if the khagan's forces hadn't yet decided where they would take this army afterward. He supposed it was fair-so many territories were now in Morath's path-but when this battle was over, he'd make damn sure they marched northward. To Terrasen.
But tomorrow-tomorrow they'd hammer Morath's legion against the keep walls, Chaol and Rowan leading the men from inside, picking off enemy soldiers.
Aelin didn't volunteer to do anything. Didn't indicate that she'd heard them.
And when they'd all deemed the plan sound, along with a contingency plan should it go awry, Nesryn only said, "We'll find you ruks to carry you back to the keep," before Aelin stormed into the frigid night, Rowan barely keeping up with her.
No embers trailed her. Mud did not hiss beneath her boots.
There was no fire at all. Not a spark.
As if Maeve had snuffed out that flame.
Made her fear it.
Hate it.
Aelin cut through the neatly organized tents, past horses and their armored riders, past foot soldiers around campfires, past the ruk riders and their mighty birds, who filled him with such awe he had no words for it. All the way to the eastern edge of the camp and the plains that stretched past, the space wide and hollow after the closeness of the army.
She didn't stop until she reached a stream they'd crossed only hours ago. It was nearly frozen over, but a stomp of her boot had the ice cracking. Breaking free to reveal dark water kissed with silvery starlight.
Then she fell to her knees and drank.
Drank and drank, cupping the water to her mouth. It had to be cold enough to burn, but she kept at it until she braced her hands on her knees and said, "I can't do this."
Rowan sank to a knee, the shield he'd kept around her while she stalked here sealing out the cold wind off the open plain.
"I-I can't—" She took a shuddering breath, and covered her face with her wet hands.
Gently, Rowan gripped her wrists and lowered them. "You do not face this alone."
Anguish and terror filled those beautiful eyes, and his chest tightened to the point of pain as she said, "It was a fool's shot against Erawan. But against him and Maeve? She gathered an army to her. Is likely bringing that army to Terrasen right now. And if Erawan summons his two brothers, if the other kings return—"
"He needs the two other keys to do that. He doesn't have them."
Her fingers curled, digging into her palms hard enough that the tang of her blood filled the air. "I should have gone after the keys. Right away. Not come here. Not done this."
"It is Dorian's task now, not yours. He will not fail at it."
"It is my task, and always has been—"
"We made the choice to come here, and we will stick to that decision," he snarled, not bothering to temper his tone. "If Maeve is indeed bringing her army to Terrasen, then it only confirms that we were right to come here. That we must convince the khagan's forces to go northward after this. It is the only chance we stand of succeeding."
Aelin ran her hands through her hair.
Streams of blood stained the gold. "I cannot win against them. Against a Valg king and queen." Her voice turned to a rasp. "They have already won."
"They have not." And though Rowan hated each word, he growled, "And you survived two months against Maeve with no magic to protect you. Two months of a Valg queen trying to break into your head, Aelin. To break you."
Aelin shook. "She did, though." Rowan waited for it. Aelin whispered, "I wanted to die by the end, before she ever threatened me with the collar. And even now, I feel like someone has ripped me from myself. Like I'm at the bottom of the sea, and who I am, who I was, is far up at the surface, and I will never get back there again."
He didn't know what to say, what to do other than to gently pull her fingers from her palms.
"Did you buy the swagger, the arrogance?" she demanded, voice breaking. "Did the others? Because I've been trying to. I've been trying like hell to convince myself that it's real, reminding myself I only need to pretend to be how I was just long enough."
Long enough to forge the Lock and die.
He said softly, "I know, Aelin." He hadn't bought the winks and smirks for a heartbeat.
Aelin let out a sob that cracked something in him. "I can't feel me-myself anymore. It's like she snuffed it out. Ripped me from it. She, and Cairn, and everything they did to me." She gulped down air, and Rowan wrapped her in his arms and pulled her onto his lap. "I am so tired," she wept. "I am so, so tired, Rowan."
"I know." He stroked her hair. "I know." It was all there really was to say.
Rowan held her until her weeping eased and she lay still, nestled against his chest.
"I don't know what to do," she whispered
"You fight," he said simply. "We fight. Until we can't anymore. We fight."
She sat up, but remained on his lap, staring into his face with a rawness that destroyed him.
Rowan laid a hand on her chest, right over that burning heart. "Fireheart."
A challenge and a summons.
She placed her hand atop his, warm despite the frigid night. As if that fire had not yet gone out entirely. But she only gazed up at the stars.
To the Lord of the North, standing watch.
"We fight," she breathed.
Aelin found Fenrys by a quiet fire, gazing into the crackling flames.
She sat on the log beside him, raw and open and trembling, but … the salt of her tears had washed away some of it. Steadied her. Rowan had steadied her, and still did, as he kept watch from the shadows beyond the fire.
Fenrys lifted his head, his eyes as hollow as she knew hers had been.
"Whenever you need to talk about it," she said, her voice still hoarse, "I'm here."
Fenrys nodded, his mouth a tight line. "Thank you."
The camp was readying for their departure, but Aelin scooted closer, and sat beside him in silence for long minutes.
Two healers, marked only by the white bands around their biceps, hurried past, arms full of bandages. Aelin tensed. Focused on her breathing.
Fenrys marked her line of sight. "They were horrified, you know," he said quietly. "Every time she brought them in to … fix you."
The two healers vanished around a tent.
Aelin flexed her fingers, shaking the lightness from them. "It didn't stop them from doing it."
"They didn't have a choice."
She met his dark stare. Fenrys's mouth tightened. "No one would have left you in those states. No one."
Broken and bloody and burned—
She gripped Goldryn's hilt. Helpless.
"They defied her in their own way," Fenrys went on. "Sometimes, she'd order them to bring you back to consciousness. Often, they claimed they couldn't, that you'd fallen too deeply into oblivion. But I knew—I think Maeve did, too— that they put you there. For as long as possible. To buy you time."
She swallowed. "Did she punish them?"
"I don't know. It was never the same healers." Maeve likely had. Had likely ripped their minds apart for their defiance.
Aelin's grip tightened on the sword at her side.
Helpless. She had been helpless. As so many in this city, in Terrasen, in this continent, were helpless. Goldryn's hilt warmed in her hand.
She wouldn't be that way again. For whatever time she had left.
Gavriel padded up beside Rowan, took one look at the queen and Fenrys, and murmured, "Not the news we needed to hear."
Rowan closed his eyes for a heartbeat. "No, it was not."
Gavriel settled a hand on Rowan's shoulder.
"It changes nothing, in some ways."
"How."
"We served her. She was ... not what Aelin is. What a queen should be. We knew that long before we knew the truth. If Maeve wants to use what she is against us, to ally with Morath, then it changes things. But the past is over. Done with, Rowan. Knowing Maeve is Valg or just a wretched person doesn't change what happened."
"Knowing a Valg queen wants to enslave my mate, and nearly did so, changes a great deal."
"But we know what Maeve fears, why she fears it," Gavriel countered, his tawny eyes bright. "Fire, and the healers. If Maeve comes with that army of hers, we are not defenseless." It was true. Rowan could have cursed himself for not thinking of it already. Another question formed, though. "Her army," Rowan said. "It's made up of Fae."
"So was her armada," Gavriel said warily.
Rowan ran a hand through his hair. "Will you be able to live with it-fighting our own people?" Killing them.
"Will you?" Gavriel countered.
Rowan didn't answer.
Gavriel asked after a moment, "Why didn't Aelin offer me the blood oath?"
The male hadn't asked these weeks. And Rowan wasn't sure why Gavriel inquired now, but he gave him the truth. "Because she won't do it until Aedion has taken the oath first. To offer it to you before him ... she wants Aedion to take it first."
"In case he doesn't wish me to be near his kingdom."
"So that Aedion knows she placed his needs before her own."
Gavriel bowed his head. "I would say yes, if she offered."
"I know." Rowan clapped his oldest friend on the back. "She knows, too."
The Lion gazed northward. "Do you think ... we haven't heard any news from Terrasen."
"If it had fallen, if Aedion had fallen, we would know. People here would know."
Gavriel rubbed at his chest. "We've been to war. He's been to war. Fought on battlefields as a child, gods be damned." Rage flickered over Gavriel's face. Not at what Aedion had done, but what he'd been made to do by fate and misfortune. What Gavriel had not been there to prevent. "But I still dread every day that passes and we hear nothing. Dread every messenger we see."
A terror Rowan had never known, different from his fear for his mate, his queen. The fear of a father for his child.
He didn't allow himself to look toward Aelin. To remember his dreams while hunting for her. The family he'd seen. The family they'd make together.
"We must convince the khaganate royals to march northward when this battle is over," Gavriel swore softly.
Rowan nodded. "If we can smash this army tomorrow, and convince the royals that Terrasen is the only course of action, then we could indeed be heading north soon. You might be fighting at Aedion's side by Yulemas."
Gavriel's hands clenched at his sides, tattoos spreading over his knuckles. "If he will allow me that honor."
Rowan would make Aedion allow it. But he only said, "Gather Elide and Lorcan. The ruks are almost ready to depart."
#Chapter 50#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Rowaelin#Fenrys Moonbeam#Maeve#Gavriel#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Nesryn Faliq#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#no spoilers please this is my first read to go along with me there are chapter spoilers in post and tags with more reacts notes quotes etc#Mantyx(these names)it settled the known hurt2hear-what the world now is this war is so big-each accounts & stories told-what Maeve had done#true tale-she leaned on him like she had from the beginning2stop her from falling from running from failing from drowning in the ice-Fenrys#will say it-isit a Valg glamour?-mountains-memory thats not a memory-real or not real-“world walkers”-why tell her?-Elide&Annieth-whitedemo#hed broken2-what really happened-we will-break my heart-I know-Im tried-we fight-the way he just goes okay then it shall Bthat & done-Storm#held fast-no embers but the Ruby knows-old marks remade-like the hof days-brilliantly lethal-no one could leave u like that-he hated that#t had smothered her no spark just grief-fear-drinking the river feels mythology esc-his shields-never alone again-defending her2her-blood-#staining gold-gently2k her hands-crying-u survived this but but I didnt feeling-he hated the word but said the truth-I will never get back#who I was am-the way this chapter knows grief-just long enough-something cracked in me reading it-I dont feel me-so he held her-challenge#summons-lord of the north standing watch-shell pass it on as their queen-Fenrys again-Gavriel knew-hes giving Carlisle Cullen vibes-Rowan i#her steady equal but yes their horrified even of what it meant occured-they defied4her-bought oblivion so they could-that owl-but healing-#hurt2 even that was a scar-what he saw happen2the girl was worse-never the same-it changes nothing-what a queen should b-not defenseless-sh#will not always fear the fire&healing-why no oath4him?oh its4him… kindness-she needs Aedion2know hes needed before her own-he cant live if#she doesnt-Im dying here-HIS Queen-good ole Yulemas-lidia&Lyria#For him the truth would be the most horrendous.—shock—I fucking love Hasar & her reply joining defend Aelin squad-quiet words-YES WE WILL#At least Theres a backup plan. A storm. Fate is feeling heavier-good thing Elide learned to read it-
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hauntingblue · 5 months ago
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STICK IT TO THE MAN MAX!!!!! THATS NOT YOUR PLACE!!!
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variantia · 7 months ago
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... babey
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our-lady-of-mcr · 9 months ago
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#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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the-cooler-king · 11 months ago
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The thought of explaining to my mom at some point that I'm moving in with this guy I met at work (that I don't talk to her about because.... wait for it) because her immediate reaction will be that we're fucking, dating, whatever and that I'm stupid to do this (like she did) and I'm especially worried about the moment she discover he has kids because she has always maintained I am "confused" and that I would end up with a man and be normal. What a thought to get out. That's probably why I have a headache
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piningpercussionist · 1 year ago
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*another letter!* It's me, again, I... well... not trying to be creepy, or whatever. but I had a dream about you last night, and it felt so real and it kind of shook me. ever since then it's been like I'm suddenly hyper aware of just how lonely I am . and it's kind of getting me down. for as far back as I can remember, the only thing I've ever wanted is a sincere, genuine romantic relationship, and, even though I'm fairly young, around your age. the fact that I haven't been able to even get my foot in the door on that sort of thing really bothers me. figured I'd talk, or... I guess... write? to you about it, I don't know if it's particularly impolite to dump your personal issues via pseudo-anonymous letters. so I'll keep this my rambling to a minimum. thanks for putting up with me, by the way. you're genuinely sweet. safe travels -Crush Guy
((ooc: man. sorry to answer this in a nebulous future state again. coordinating things, am I right? /j. I would have had to do so regardless though, given what I have in store for Kim here... no spoilers! :) But we'll see what happens.))
Kim flops back down on her bed, letting out a long, low groan. That trip had exhausted her, thoroughly; she wasn't sure she wanted to think about or do anything for the next forever, at least, but... She cracks open an eye and looks over at her pillows, noticing another letter waiting for her. Sitting up with a sigh, she rubs her eyes before taking it up and opening it, trying to will herself to feel more alive.
Reading over the letter, Kim frowns, feeling something like a pull in her chest. She rubs at her sternum and brings her knees up to wrap arms around her legs, looking back over it a couple times thoughtfully.
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I can certainly understand that... she thought to herself, resting a cheek to one knee. I want for a lot of things, I guess. And do without them. But I can definitely understand that kind of longing.
She eventually uncurls and shifts about, moving to lean back against her propped up pillows, now placed to cover the gaps in her bed frame. Despite herself, she finds her thoughts taking her back- as they often do- to high school. She feels the painful twinge again, and she's thankful not to have to hide her emotions in the safety of her room- she'd locked the door, after all.
She could still remember what it had felt like, back then; to be loved. Or to think that you were. She'd still been herself- Kim Pine: bitchy, aloof, and sarcastic, with a corrosive tongue that loved to lash out- but with Scott she'd felt so warm, and she knew deep down that she'd let herself thaw a little, in that time. She'd been less cold in ways Lauren had called her on immediately, much to her displeasure, but she hadn't been able to deny it, then. She still couldn't now, really; she was just better at masking it. She liked to think she was, at least.
She missed feelings like that- the warmth; the carefree nature in which they'd spend their time together. The way he would look at her stunned and flush after she'd tease him over some stupid comment he'd made, or how he'd turn away whenever Kim would catch him staring at her during class...
She hates the way it still feels warm now, thinking back. Warmth paired with the uncomfortable hole in her chest- a paradoxically heavy weight to an emptiness, expanding outward, trying to numb itself and failing miserably- only spreading the fire. Though there are none, Kim finds herself rubbing at her eyes, concerned that she might find tears there.
You need to stop doing this, she thinks to herself, as ineffectively as always. The thought has no weight if she doesn't put effort into making it actionable; she knows, because she's thought it so many times before. It was high school, Kim. It clearly meant nothing to him. Let it be nothing for you, too. Please? It'd be easier.
She spends a couple minutes trying to pull herself together, picking at loose threads along the edge of her skirt. The feeling continues to linger, however, so she simply sucks it up and starts in on her reply.
Don't worry about it, guy; dreams take us a lot of places we don't intend. It's not really creepy- honestly maybe expected, with us talking like this. Hope it was a pleasant one. And it's alright, I think. I get where you're coming from, too. I mean, I've dated around, but it's hard to find genuine connection with people. The kind I crave, at least. You'll need to kill me before I admit anything beyond that, though, heh. No problem, and also thanks, I suppose. Though I have my doubts on how true of a statement that is.
She's not entirely certain if she's satisfied with her answer by the time she's done, but she shrugs and sends it anyway, too tired to give it much more thought. Maybe a nap will fix me... she wonders to herself, eventually moving to lay curled up on her side facing the wall.
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She would try for a while, but sleep would elude her; instead, a reel of memories plays back in her mind, haunting her with a distant, hopeful version of herself. How naive...
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astonmartinii · 3 months ago
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the king of monza can do what he wants | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem alonso!reader
the king of monza can win the race, have his relationship exposed and challenge his soon-to-be father-in-law to a duel, he can do what he wants.
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
oscarpiastri
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liked by olliebearman, danielricciardo and 432,095 others
tagged: lilyzneimer, yourusername, charles_leclerc
oscarpiastri: double header means we crashed on my adoptive parents' couch and forced them to cook for me (only y/n, obviously)
view all comments
user1: does he know this isn't his private account?
user2: SHUSH DON'T TELL HIM
user3: we need to enjoy this while it lasts
jackdoohan: oscar, there's still time to delete this
oscarpiastri: why would i delete this?
oscarpiastri: oh
oscarpiastri: oh no
jackdoohan: you might want to warn your kinda dad you've exposed the identity of your kinda mum as your kinda grandad is probably putting out a hit on him as we speak
fernandoalo_oficial: don't call me a grandad 👿🤬😡😠💢😤
jackdoohan: OSCAR QUICK HE'S DISCOVERED EMOJIS HE MUST BE REALLY MAD
user4: fernando, are you okay?
fernandoalo_oficial: i want that frenchies head on a stick
charles_leclerc: i am monegasque!
fernandoalo_oficial: so you do actually want to die?
yourusername: okay let's calm down old man
fernandoalo_oficial: SILENCE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT'S THE MAN?
yourusername: yes!
fernandoalo_oficial: no.
charles_leclerc: i object!
lancestroll: his eye hasn't stopped twitching since
charles_leclerc: i don't care! he might be crazy but I'M IN LOVE SO BRING IT OLD MAN
user5: wtf have i woken up to this morning
user6: the public execution of the prince of monaco
yourusername: just because he has a samurai tattoo doesn't mean he knows how to use a sword
fernandoalo_oficial: i will tear him apart with my bare hands
user7: i fear this comment section alone has undone all of his funky grandad tiktok PR
user8: he's going to make charles cry in the press conference
yourusername: oh well, charlie is hot when he cries
user9: and how do you know that...
yourusername: that's none of your business 😈
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 2,312,088 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: italy has my heart and so do you <3
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user11: queen got exposed and immediately started flexing her unbelievably sexy bf
yourusername: why wouldn't i? he's so damn FINE
charles_leclerc: teehee (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
user12: you might as well have told me to kill myself
fernandoalo_oficial: enjoy your weekend charles, it will be your last
charles_leclerc: and if i win? i think suspended sentence?
fernandoalo_oficial: @carlossainz55 i have a proposition for you
yourusername: why are we acting like he wouldn't do that for free
carlossainz55: excuse me?
yourusername: i'm calling you a jealous bitch xx
carlossainz55: what is your price nando?
fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not fucking paying you, i was assuming you'd do it in a jealous rage anyway
carlossainz55: ???
user13: the way carlos is being jumped from both sides unprovoked
user14: which ever alonso it is, they choose violence
oscarpiastri: so ... am i off the hook yet?
yourusername: you know we can't say no to you
fernandoalo_oficial: oscar you might actually be my favourite now, thank you for bringing this to my attention
oscarpiastri: sure i'll take it!
charles_leclerc: you can have my heart and everything else for as long as you want
yourusername: looks like you'll never get it back ;)
charles_leclerc: that's fine by me if i get to spend it with you
yourusername: i love you :P
charles_leclerc: i love you more ( > 〰 < )♡
fernandoalo_oficial
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liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 1,209,566 others
fernandoalo_oficial: cash prize for anyone who can actually track down this little rat - i just want to talk i swear
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user15: it's official everyone, he's gone crazy
user16: as crazy as he is at least he's bringing the DRAMA 🤩
yourusername: this isn't very peace and love of you
fernandoalo_oficial: that has never been the way in this family
fernandoalo_oficial: but let me make this clear, i mean in a destroy all of your enemies way rather than a jos verstappen way
maxverstappen1: ???
yourusername: destroying our enemies does not mean you can do your best jos verstappen impression and drive your aston martin into charles
fernandoalo_oficial: don't be stupid y/n, the aston martin is too slow, i'm going to steal his brakes
yourusername: and how will you do that boomer
fernandoalo_oficial: ferrari are stupid they probably still haven't changed the passwords or locks since i left
yourusername: @scuderiaferrari excuse me???
scuderiaferrari: ....
user17: so like this is a genuine hit?
user18: mob boss!fernando alonso you are so special to me
user19: sorry charles but it's so sexy
charles_leclerc: drop the address senor i'm not scared of you
lancestroll: he brought the samurai sword btw
yourusername: @f1 DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY SECURITY MEASURES ???
f1: it made a good tiktok 👍
yourusername: you people are useless
charles_leclerc: no worries my love it's all under control
fernandoalo_oficial: i will carve you like a christmas turkey
yourusername: you go anywhere near charles with that sword we're both going romeo and juliet style
user20: what on earth is going on
user21: just smile and wave i think we're watching collective hysteria
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f1
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 3,562,778 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1: CHARLES LECLERC WINS FOR FERRARI AT MONZA
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user23: bro heard fernando was gonna steal his brakes and simply just drove so fast he didn't need them
user24: he was like 'oh you want my head on a stick? TRY AND CATCH ME'
yourusername: pretty boy is so so talented it's not fair
yourusername: who am i kidding
yourusername: STUNT ON THOSE HOES I LOVE YOU BABY
charles_leclerc: thank you baby, i simply had to drive so fast so i could give you a kiss
charles_leclerc: and also so i could tell your dad to SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN
user25: he's had too much champagne and might actually get himself killed
user26: i will throw myself in front of that sword for him
yourusername: you and me too buddy - i'll cover your drinks for this evening
fernandoalo_oficial: i still want him dead
charles_leclerc: what the fuck do you want from me? i just won? did you see that freak of an orange car? i look after your daughter like i looked after those tyres
yourusername: so romantic 🤭
fernandoalo_oficial: he just compared you to tyres? have some standards i raised you better?
yourusername: believe me, i do have standards - he's special xx
fernandoalo_oficial: i also won monza with ferrari he's not that special
user27: at least he's stopped with the samurai sword talk?
user28: he did say he still wants him dead though
maxverstappen1: @yourusername why couldn't you have dated lando? would've made this championship a lot easier
landonorris: HUH?
yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about standards
charles_leclerc: hehehehehe
landonorris: HUH???
charles_leclerc
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 4,523,099 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: grazie mille tifosi !! this is for you and all of your support. i'm glad my family and my love were here to see this win as well. fernando, bring your sword, i'll fight for your daughter's hand.
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user29: i love this family and i've known them a week
user30: fernando might have to go through me as well at this point
yourusername: i love you so much and you have deserved this and more for so so long xx
charles_leclerc: i couldn't do it without you (and our weird little grid family)
yourusername: you're my favourite person in the world and i just love to see you happy
charles_leclerc: you make me the happiest man in the world
yourusername: i love you
charles_leclerc: i love you too
user31: as cute as all this is ^^ where is this duel
user32: can someone PLEASE STREAM IT !!!!! I WILL PAY
user33: I NEED IT I NEED IT
fernandoalo_oficial: come outside
lancestroll: he spent all of the debrief sharpening the sword btw
charles_leclerc: i'm ready girlypop
fernandoalo_oficial: GIRLYPOP ???
yourusername: PEACE AND LOVE BOZO
maxverstappen1: can we get this show on the road please?
lewishamilton: charles please hurry up i've got some serious cash on this tussle
yourusername: how much we talking?
charles_leclerc: i might die and you're checking the wager?
yourusername: because i have faith in you !!!!
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,136,344 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: he's alive and he's a winner! the king of monza can do what he wants
view all comments
user35: prince of monaco? king of monza? bro is collecting titles
yourusername: my husband next 🤞����
charles_leclerc: bet
user36: is ANYONE GOING TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE DUEL
georgerussell63: it was extremely unprofessional and there will be an extensive powerpoint covering how this won't happen again
fernandoalo_oficial: i'll fight you next time george
user37: don't go off TOPIC
charles_leclerc: i out strategised him lol
oscarpiastri: what he means is that he surprised fernando from behind and wouldn't stop hugging him until he agreed that he wouldn't skewer him like a kebab
charles_leclerc: and it worked! now look he's on my boat giving me his blessing
user38: you're telling me charles hugged his way out of the conflict?
user39: perhaps the most babygirl he's ever been
user40: we need the pictures SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL
fernandoalo_oficial: fine, i guess he's okay. i'm not calling him the king of monza though
yourusername: i knew you'd come around
fernandoalo_oficial: i love my daughter SORRY
yourusername: don't lie to me you only calmed down and accepted it because i called in the reinforcements
user41: i'm crying she called babysitters for her dad
yourusername: jenson and mark, idk how you deal with him
jensonbutton: the stress of him and his antics keep me skinny
aussiegrit: i think we're all trauma bonded
charles_leclerc: i'll be the king of monza, if you'll be my queen
charles_leclerc: and i will continue to do what i want
yourusername: i'll be your queen anywhere you want
yourusername: and if doing what you want includes fighting my dad... let's turn it down a lil
charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything
fin.
note: here yall go - this was in my drafts half done from monza weekend but life got crazy
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deepseasmetro · 9 days ago
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In the last year, I've become disabled with a joint condition that leaves me unable to walk long distances. Thankfully, I had the privilege of being given a wheelchair for free that I can use when I need it. I can't imagine how I would be living now without it.
So I can't imagine how it feels for my friend @ghadaanqar and their family to go without a needed disability aide for their little girl, Iman. Iman has osteoporosis and desperately needs braces for her legs to be able to walk and function. In an already very difficult and scary situation, it pains me to know a girl that young cannot move the way her peers can.
I have been speaking to Ghada in DMs and they have been very sweet and kind. Their story speaks to me especially as somebody who has also struggled to afford medical care for a complex disability like this. If you have even a dollar to spare, please consider giving it to this family. Everyone deserves dignity and the ability to care for themselves and their disability!
They are currently at 40% funded. I know we can push it higher than that! Tagging under the cut for attention.
@rickybabyboy @sayruq @officialspec @nabulsi @valtsv @komsomolka @prisonhannibal @hotvampireadjacent @r0zeclawz @marxism-transgenderism @teaboot @cryptotheism @boobieteriat @chokulit @3000s @ot3 @90-ghost @apas-95 @pitbolshevik @punkitt-is-here @i-am-a-fish @b0tster @vampiricvenus @turtletoria @pcktknife @ankle-beez @jame7t @strawberry-crocodile @make-to-the-future @remindertoclick @dyrdeer @see-arcane @tamamita @omegaversereloaded @catsgifsarefun @teaboot @sawasawako @feluka @spongebobssquarepants @skipppppy @paper-mario-wiki @tododeku-or-bust @xgoldenlatiasx @postanagramgenerator @memingursa @certifiedsexed @afro-elf @11thsense @spacebeyonce @fools-and-perverts @dailyquests @neechees @evillesbianvillainarchive @taffybuns @nyancrimew @thatdiabolicalfeminist @beserkerjewel @tpwrtrmnky @beetledrink @spaghettioverdose @specialmouse @tlirsgender @grox @minmos @paparoach @jackalopescruff @slimetony @boobieteriat @strangeauthor @johnwicklover999
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cannibalisticskittles · 1 year ago
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i also wish you could immediately launch into an answer bc amity doesn't care abt acknowledging whether anyone would let him bite them or not, to her this is so clearly a fun bit/thought experiment that he's introduced and she is READY let's GO let's SPECULATE
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itsalwaysdark · 5 months ago
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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