#yes I am going to be annoying about this i'm done with this debate and had been years ago before we even had a localization

[mary34blog]

Where to Start Fate, a Quick and Painless Guide

Go to the Steam page (here for convenience)

Click add to cart

Proceed to check out

Choose whatever payment option suits your fancy

Once purchase somplete, launch the game like you would with any other game on Steam

And that's it, have fun! :)

[ddejavvu]

ok but whos gonna talk about hotchy boy being all ☹️☹️☹️☹️ when reader does not talk to him just some misunderstanding where they are not in a committed relationship but everyone just knows they have a thing for one another i just wanna hear aaron say “are you mad at me? did i do something? i am a sucker for soft aaron for ONE PERSON his person!!!

Hotch is socially awkward. He can mask it with indifference or professionality, he can manage to assimilate when he's in familiar situations, but now he sticks out like a sore thumb.

He's standing in the doorway of the precinct's kitchen, waiting. Waiting for you to acknowledge him, waiting for you to say something, waiting for you to preemptively forgive his apology, waiting for something.

In turn, you're trying very hard not to do any of those things. You're not fond of being reprimanded, especially not for something you didn't do. So when Aaron had snapped at you in front of local officers for being distracted by your phone on a case, and you were only texting back and forth with Morgan about the second crime scene, you'd been annoyed.

You know that it's his job to keep everyone in line, and if he'd been right about you slacking off, you'd have taken the fall. But all he'd done was obstruct you from your job, and embarrass you to boot. So call it petty, but you're trying to avoid even looking at the man if you don't have to.

Thankfully, the precinct's kitchen is against a wall, not in a separate room. It means there's ample space to slip around Aaron and go back to your desk without having to ask him to move.

You're only a few steps behind him when you hear his voice call out after you, "Y/N?"

You try not to stop to abruptly in your tracks, but you turn to him with a politely interested look on your face.

"Yes, sir?"

His jaw shifts at the title, "Are you mad at me?"

You're a little stunned by the question. It sounds like something a child asks their mother, standing by the edge of her bed and asking why she'd rather sleep than play. It certainly doesn't sound like Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner, the 6'1 man who commands respect in any room he enters.

"What?" Is all you can muster in response.

"Are you..." He repeats, eyes anxious as they stare into your own, "Are you upset with me? Did I do something?"

Now you feel like a child. Embarrassment burns hot at your cheeks, and you chew on the inside of one as you debate telling him that your feelings are hurt because he embarrassed you.

"Nothing," You shake your head, gripping your coffee mug tighter, "You didn't do anything. Don't worry about it. I'm just tired."

Now he's analyzing you, head tilted curiously.

"That's... the oldest excuse in the book," His tone almost sounds sympathetic, like he's pitying you for your terrible lie. "Please tell me if I need to apologize for something."

"It's not-" You rush out, running a tired hand over your face, "It's dumb. Let's just focus on the case, we can talk later."

"I want to talk now," He pushes cautiously, stepping closer to you, "I won't be able to focus on this case until we resolve this."

You try not to think too hard about that, about the fact that his personal relationship with you means more to him than his work.

"It really is dumb," You laugh, but it's a humorless sound, "But earlier, I- I wasn't just slacking off, Hotch. You snapped at me in front of all of those officers, and I was just swapping pictures with Morgan of different missing persons files. I wasn't, like, playing a game or something. I'm not an irresponsible employee."

His face has fallen into something just short of despair. He's calculating the effect of his outburst, knowing now that the local officers probably trust you less, or ridicule you in private for being too absorbed in whatever online presence they think you were updating.

"I'm sorry," He says earnestly, and his chest caves in slightly with how sincere it is, "I should have known you weren't messing around. I hadn't considered that you were talking to one of us, we usually call each other. But I understand - that's no excuse. I shouldn't have reprimanded you, especially not in front of everyone."

Slowly, the more he speaks, his words disarm that little ticking time bomb of pettiness in your chest until its spark fizzles out completely. You're relieved to have closure on the incident, but it doesn't fix everything.

Hotch will, though.

"I'll let you deliver the profile." He decides, in the absence of your response, "And a press conference, if we need one. Give you back any authority I stripped of you back there. I... I really am sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay," You finally give in, shoulders slumping from how stiff they'd been around your neck, "I know this is a particularly stressful case. And it's your job to boss us around."

He offers you a small laugh at that, a soft exhale through his nose paired with something that you could perceive as a smile.

"I just wish it had gone differently."

"Me too," He nods, guilt still trailing after his words, clinging onto him no matter how much he tries shaking it off, "If anyone says anything, or avoids letting you work on something important, let me know."

"I will." You nod, "Thank you, Hotch."

"Thank you," He looks like he wants to surge forwards, and you'll admit that you wouldn't mind a make-up hug. Nevertheless, he keeps himself in check, tugging lightly on his suit jacket to readjust it over his chest, "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me I'd made a mistake."

"Oh I'll tell you," You tease, and his eyes dance with laughter he contains behind a soft smile aimed at the floor, "Mark my words, Hotch, you'll know if you mess up."

[pleasantspark]

GAH! WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I COMMENT OR REBLOOOG ON THE NEO-NAZI POST!?!!?!

Well you guys did it, you have restricted my replies to EVERYTHING. Shitting up and sperging and defending blatant neo-nazi rhetoric and shitting up my comments with your complaints ruined any sort of productive conversation.

Instead it resulted in defending or blantly disregarding the seriousness of Shota and Loli and all and all being a spectacle and disrespecting my main wish of not forcing me to repeat myself.

I will clarify.

She has not responded to the allegations and she did TWICE and defended that behavior

If you think its fine because its a character in the movie, and try to pull the "South Park DID IT DEFENSE." you're a idiot, because Viv isn't South Park nor the levels of Sasague Party, she's supposedly a staunch supporter of POC and LGBTQ+ Rights but drew shit that goes against it, thus making her a hypocrite

If you wanted to debate bro me, do it to where you're not adhomeiem me nigga seriously, I am a BLACK POC and I find it annoying most of y'all act brand new because of a accusation she can debunk.

Kiss my ass

VivziePop is never gonna answe, because she already implied her fans were neo-nazis and if she were to address it now, it's too little too late.

She defended the subhuman tweet as them being "exhausted of criticism." Ah yes, because I am exhausted of people saying Cell x Orion is shit so I like a tweet calling an entire group of people from different walks of life (including Jewish heritage) a term that Nazi's used. That's completely fine!!!1!!!

I am only accepting asks for Dragon Ball now, because two people have ruined my day and misconstrued every single point, if you really think she's not a neo-nazi ask her to respond, do it and come back to my profile.

You can still reblog from me but reblogging to start shit or inboxing me to start shit will result in a full scale call out once again starting an infight I am fucking done bringing assessments to a table and having the knee jerk response times of a people who consider these statements and drawings as fine or not enough, y'all niggas need to settle the fuck down and understand that these are allegations and not fucking claims.

Comments are restricted to mutuals and I hope KiwiFarms sees this SHIT. Because I am READY for the Critical Community to get a fucking thread.

Y'all have become an oboros of constant sperging and harassment to the point y'all wanna harass others who try and claim their sides or downright harass others for their involvement with another creator you don't like, you need to all grow the fuck up and block one another.

I am welcoming to this thread because everyone wanna claim I am a POS for one singluar fucking post, this is why I hate this community and I rather die then justifying my claims, she's a fucking neo-nazi and I'd kill myself on this hill for that, she's never gonna change and you need to accept that, instead of living in lala world.

Sorry if I am mad, it's just that those shitting up comment threads been going on for three days with no end.

I am done giving the benefit of the doubt, so if you wanna talk to me about DBZ go ahead, but for now only mutuals can mention and comment, do not drag me into infighting circles or talk shit about me to other critics because you got mad I called a racist and general transphobic woman a neo-nazi. Grow some pairs and learn to grow the fuck up.

I'm leaving this for you guys.

[coff-in]

Coff-in?? Waiting for my response??? HHrrrk I'm blushing so hard rn holy shit Devious Anon is in love <3 Interestingly I think Reader killing Ashley is a possibility, but it's done under very specific conditions—like she has to be sure Andrew wants to kill Ashley before she takes on the job, ergo basically in the vision what I think would happen is Andrew is approaching Ashley with the knife and is visibly debating killing her and then reader kill-steals, kind of. Andrew asks reader why the fuck she would do that and reader replies almost innocuously, "She was causing you a lot of pain, and you would've cried if you killed Ashley, right? So I'll do it for you." She killed Ashley to keep Andrew for herself, yes, but also to spare Andrew the guilt of killing Ashley. I feel like it's harder for him to resent her under these conditions bc yk, he was about to do the exact same thing and she did it for him. NOW IF ASHLEY RETALIATES AND KILLS HER bro I don't think these siblings are ever going to come back together the same again bc now Ashley suspects Andrew and reader of being against her, Andrew has a looooot of mixed feelings (does he wanna kill Ash???) and reader is basically always a hair-trigger away from flipping out (she didn't think she wanted to kill Ash but now that it's in her head...)

Also also I realized I built up Devious Baby Sis reader a lot in my head but did not actually share most of it (she's basically a whole character now just without a name) so here it be! The reason why baby sis is the way she is comes from her observation of the family dynamic as the youngest—that is, she and Ash both rely on Andrew. Ashley is very openly needy about it, which reader notices tends to get on Andrew's nerves. They both baby her, but reader sometimes gets left out when her older siblings become too tangled with each others issues (ex. Nina's death is something i'm not sure reader would've been involved in). Reader is internally actually pretty insecure like Ashley, but instead of acting out (which she know annoys Andrew), she switches tactics so they act out for her��in jealousy. Basically reader is insecure and constantly tests their feelings because otherwise, she can't convince herself that she's loved.

CRYING AT THIS FEAST SO EARLY IN THE MORNING HRRRRGG It's not fair that Andrew's so fine it's actually illegal. He's in my head rent free (you can tell by the amount of asks I've thrown your way coff-in I need hELP) I feel like this is less an ask and me just building fanfic with you in your asks now :,D I just have so many brainworms lmao bUT IF YOU WANNA WRITE A WHOLE ASS ANGST FIC I ASSURE YOU I AM YOUR GAL << I WILL READ, I WILL DEVOUR

notes from coff-in: I WAS WAITING ALL EVENING FOR YOU BABES!!! AAAAHHHH ITS DEVIOUS ANON!!!! and don't worry about talking in my inbox, a fact you should all know is that i love to yap and talk (you also have a tag now! #devious anon visits the coffin)

[fem] reader-insert, [devious younger sister reader], incest

i don't know if i could elaborate more on the decay route because it's just too good man! the paths we've explored so far are all so fucking exciting! i am curious about how ashley would traverse her relationship with andrew and devious baby sis [reader] since ashley would be the only one seeing the vision.

i've also been building up this little devious [reader] in my head but it's all self-indulgent stuff. hearing you talk about why she is the way she is is pretty neat though! i have trouble keeping all to deep analysis stuff in my head and it causes me to lose track of character traits and motives and such :p i mostly saw [reader] is just being this little yandere manipulator, you know? she's genuinely happy with her siblings but she uses all these tricks and tactics to indulge in her incestuous feelings with her siblings while also not getting into trouble. she writes romantic poems for andrew but it's forged in julia's handwriting so he doesn't suspect it's [reader]. she gets naked while sharing a room with ashley and plays it off as okay since they're both sisters and siblings and only one year apart in age.

ah... imagine that she's in love with both of her siblings but thinks that andrew and ashley don't love her back or yet ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. the conflict she feels about her romantic feelings to her siblings and her need to keep a secret to keep them with her. she fakes being an angel because she doesn't think that they'd love her back if they knew how apathetic she could be towards other people. even if she wasn't there when nina died (something she construes as something personal between andrew and ashley that she could never fit into), [reader] probably wouldn't have helped her out of that box. it made ashley happy, right? and andrew wouldn't have to get a girlfriend, right? all wins in her book.

she'd kill and maim and butcher and burn and lie and die for her siblings if she needed to (well, she probably wouldn't die without them ofc). they are her beginning and her end! her soulmates reincarnated as her siblings so that they'd be together forever (from the womb to the tomb, as i've seen said in passing). a lot of her personality revolves around andrew and ashley and while i want to work on that a little bit more in my silly little head, i think it could also be used as some sort of purposefully character flaw?

speaking of long fanfics, i have an ao3 account (that is empty for now) but maybe one day your devious idea could become a devious multi-chapter fanfic (with your permission of course. i want to make sure everyone gets their fair share of credit).

also, also, ALSO! imagine andrew and ashley celebrating [reader]'s birthday! :3 happy thought to make up for all the angst

----

coff-in

[nerogurl]

omg hi !! i don't usually do these kinds of things but fear & hunger is like the only thing i think about anymore and im suuuuper curious to know my results (and to see of it matches who i want it to be >:])

i am! 18 yrs old, transmasc, and bisexual. i'm average height & about mid-sized, with short-mid length dyed hair (it's orange-blonde ish atm but that's subject to change). freckles, tooth-gap, lots of moles, bit of a mustache going on, etc—i think the coolest thing about me is my eyes. they can look anywhere from grey-green-blue depending on the day, but i actually have central heterchromia as well! so, that's cool!

personality wise (the actual meat of this ask, lmao), i've been told i can be intense. but personally i just like to think i take no shit! i'm the kind of person where you get the kind of energy that you give, and i don't have much patience when it comes to others being immature or clueless. does this make me come off as short tempered sometimes? maybe. kind of. yes. but i promise i'm not always that angry! around people i get along with i like to think that i chill way back. when it comes to life overall im more the "it is what it is, nothing really matters so why not have fun?" type. my biggest personal philosophy is that as long as your not hurting yourself or anyone else, you should be allowed to do whatever you want forever. life is too short to not be a freak and shameless about it.

other than that, let's seeeeee. i think im pretty intelligent! i definitely value it in other people, at least. i enjoy things like analysis, discussion, and debate, especially when i get to go on long tangents and rambles. and i like to listen to long tangents and rambles too! i love to hear people be passionate about their interests. a lot of my past relationships have just been going back and forth with big rants on whatever is interesting us that week or something that annoyed us that day.

that being said! i'm also someone who runs outta energy quick. it's not unusually for people to not hear from me for a while, i like my privacy and i like my quiet. and i definitely like it when people respect that, i don't bode well when people get clingy. though, i do a lot better keeping in touch with people i can see face to face, versus anything long distance (i CANNOT do long distance at all im far too forgetful for it).

ummm yeah! ill end it there. not to sound egotistical but writing about myself is fun i should do it more often. ty!!

Reading your description immediately checked all the boxes for a perfect match with Marina! Where do I start? She cannot handle clingyness either. It might be an extreme example considering Samarie is a literal stalker, but when Samarie reveals her feelings, Marine engages as minimally as possible. She's very much done with putting up with people's shit and just wants to move on with her life. Much like with her father, she describes as always angry and obsessed with being miserable, she wants nothing to do with him.

In her B ending, we see that she moves to the big city to find people sharing the same attitudes as you two; to find acceptance and live a carefree life. Where you can experience all the excitement of the city is to be had together. That's not to say she's a party animal, far from it, just a free spirit. The city is the forefront of new ideas; art, science, politics. Go to exhibitions and community dinners together. With the world constantly changing around you you'll never run out of things to talk about.

Marina has a heavy emphasis on alone time that comes naturally from being an academic and a big reader. In Prehevil, we can find her reading in the local bookshop on Day 2, where she's not interested in joining the party. She needs time to shut out the outside world to recharge. A common method of escapism for her, she welcomes you to join her. Imagine if you had the option to accept her offer. You can recharge while bonding through quality time. If you believe reading in the same room counts as doing something together, sometimes just enjoying each other's presence can be enough. 

For the gentleman of this matchup I've chosen Cahara! Cahara might not be very 'book smart' but he is a very clever and charismatic man. Part of living in poverty is having to learn how to entertain yourself with limited resources. As a conversationalist, you describe wanting not just to discuss particular academic topics but whatever is relevant to each other's lives. He'll tell you stories of his grand adventures (mildly exaggerated); treasure hunts, daring tales of thievery, survival and his adventures raiding under a band of criminals. 

Being an endless soul, he shares the same philosophy as you; as long as you're not hurting anyone life is too short to not do whatever you want (minus the harm, but he's working on it). Cahara is the last person to compromise his life to conform. He knows that Celeste is a prostitute and the baby probably isn't his, but he doesn't care, and loves her all the same. An unconventional relationship type, it should be expected to be open like the one he shares with Celeste.

He'll need someone to be accepting towards his lifestyle and preferences. And if anyone is to be described as 'shameless and freaky', it's Cahara. Him being the only one willing to marry Enki and states that he's open to hooking up with an abdominal marriage (not a decision based just on survival but on his own lenient experimentation). 

I know he comes off as flakey but he's extremely loyal. Willing to do anything for his loved ones, traversing through the horrors of the dungeons to keep Celeste and her unborn baby well feed and happy forever. There's no world where he abandons her. Celeste either passes away during childbirth or you all join together as a throuple. 

I agree with what you said about your central heterochromia. You're right, that is very cool! That's what draws him to you at first. No matter how guarded he is around strangers, Cahara is a naturally curious person. He finds your appearance spurring a lot of questions. He wants to know who you are and everything about you to help fit the gaps in his imagination. Telling stories to their child, he's going to cast you the role of the pirate with wild sunset hair and ocean eyes. 

Tdlr; Marina and Cahara, but overall I think Marina is your best match.

[chairofchaos]

A Brief Commentary on Fandom History, Fandom Weeks, and How to Keep Moving Forward

Before you decide to read this, please go read this thing I wrote earlier. You need the context. Done reading? No? Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, and definitely don't engage with this post. Go read it. You're done? Excellent! Please remember that I said absolutely nothing in the aforementioned post about commenting on current events. Also, this contains some swearing, in case that bugs you. Any text written in this font I'm using below the break is liable to be sarcastic (if you want clarification about something like that let me know!). Word count is about 3.8k. Shoutout to @/olderthannetfic, who wrote back to that anon who was talking about the clergy-class of Big Name Fans and said,

"Nail your theses to the door."

I think that sentiment applies here.  Kudos to you, wise fandom elder. You rock.

About the Author

To reiterate how I began my last post (linked above and for the love of all fandom, go read it), I have been involved in fandom spaces for 12 years, almost to the day. I had wonderful mentors who knew that were I left unchecked, I would fumble my way through a lot of very bad ideas about what fandom should be like. They decided out of love that if I was going to be in fandom, they were going to make me into the best little fandom child I could be.

If you do the math, I was 11 when I started getting involved. What can I say? It was a different decade and I had unrestricted internet access. Nobody was keeping me from my Harry Potter and Percy Jackson fanfics. All of this to say: I was raised here, and I'm going to scream in the living room while this house burns down around me because I'd rather be a ghost in fandom than not be in fandom at all.

I am going to say a lot of things in this post. Am I perfect? NO! Will this post hold errors? Undoubtedly. Will this post be tarnished by the inaccuracies of the resources and the biases of events recorded in secondary sources? Who knows. I'm sure some of you lived through the events I am referencing here. Your context and commentary is more than welcome. Will this help give us, the ACOTAR fandom, some context for why we all care so much? I hope so.

No, I don't actually. I have no faith in anyone, not even myself.

Thanks for that, Editorial Chaos. You're one pessimistic bitch. Oh, you're going to keep showing up in this post to annoy me, aren't you...

Yep. Back to it, Chaos.

Alright, then. Anyways, I have opinions. You have opinions. There's a 100% chance that we disagree on something. That's cool with me. So let's get to it.

Why Are We Talking About This?

Elaingate. We are here because of Elaingate, and I will not lie to you about that. You will briefly hear my thoughts on that specific issue further down the line.

To those of you who would suggest that Elaingate is over? I must disagree. 

You see, this one instance may be over, but the underlying debate continues. What should fandom look like? Who can participate, and with what content? What is allowed, and who gets to decide?

These questions have not been addressed. I am not, by any means, going to pretend to be an authority on this. I do, however, wish to contribute my many thoughts, and present some events from the history of fandom.

My hope in sharing this brief summary of notable events which shaped broader fan culture will help people newer to fandom (of all kinds) understand why something like an event which bans certain types of content, or content involving specific characters, as something to be concerned, or even angry, about.

Please consider this, my contribution to the discussion, as a form of academic inquiry with an opinion thread throughout. This is something I am throwing to the fandom for consideration. Do I get preachy? Absolutely I do. Do I stand by my thoughts? Yes. 

If you want to respond and tell me I’m dead wrong, by all means, do so. I welcome a reblog or a post in response. Let’s go back and forth, citing our sources like two exhausted researchers from different university departments, fighting over faerie smut books. I’ll eat up every second of it.

No, you won’t. You’re exhausted.

Really? Please stop.

Noooooooooooooooooo.

Are these old issues, or is this a new problem?

Welcome to the party! It's both as old as fandom itself, and as new as yesterday. ("Chaos, those can't both be true, can they?" Yes, they can!)

You see, there have always been issues within fandoms. People have disagreed about whether character A should end up with character B or character C for longer than any of us have been alive. Seriously. The Ancient Greeks were arguing about this stuff thousands and thousands of years ago. 

Source: my Greek Tragedy professor. And if you want to argue that point, you can take it up with him. He’s an ornery old German man who looked at me and told me I needed to do better on my tests in front of the entire class. I had a 98 overall, and the only grades we got were the tests.

Moving on: Dare I say, we are not special?

The real difference now is that the previously separate communities of fandom are coming together on platforms where systems for separating those branches of fandom do not exist in automatically available formats.

We face new issues because the wonderful world-wide web continues to grow wider and wider. We have more people on the internet than ever before. You interact with more people by participating in online fandom than a person would have 5-10 years ago, let alone before the internet, and that comes with new challenges.

So what, Chaos?

I'm glad you asked! On LiveJournal, you could join Communities. You can envision them as a Discord server centered around a specific ship or character. You could be automatically entered into a group of like-minded people, and never really have to interact with people who shipped Character A with Character B, if you wanted.

Another form of fanfic from the pre-internet through the early internet years of fandom days were Zines (In depth "what's that?" from Purdue University). In fandom, zines were edited, curated fanworks. They were numerous. Some were public, some were private. Some Zine editors stood up to Lucasfilm. Regardless, there was content moderation, whether by community members or by corporations themselves. We'll come back to this.

Does that mean I would never have had to interact with those evil A/B shippers when I ship B/C?

Hahahahahhahaha.

No. It doesn't. You still encountered people who disagreed with you. 

And there were slurs and threats involved. It could get real ugly.

Yeah. Be thankful we have good community guideline things on Tumblr, and a reporting process on AO3. I don't think anyone is going to try to hack your computer to get your IP address and dox you for shipping the "wrong" characters (and good grief: if you care that much or truly think that is an appropriate action, please stay far, far away from me).

You looked for the community where you fit best, and that's where you started following, and finding, and interacting. It's not all that different to what you can do here once you curate your individual experience.

Chaos, why does any of this matter? Why aren't you talking about current events?

Well, in the grand scheme of things, does anything matter?

Yes, newly-nihilistic Editorial Chaos. It really does matter.

It matters because it's our history. It's how we got here. Be grateful. As for current events, I’m not really here to give you an in-depth analysis of those, as there are other posts which do that. 

I’m here to talk about the underlying issue. To do that, we need some background. I promise you need all of this context for my proposal at the end. Feel free to skip what you already know, but please take this opportunity to learn something new today!

Why did Archive of Our Own come into being?

For my sources on this, I direct you to the original livejournal post which started it all (thank you @/astolat! You can find her on tumblr and AO3. She’s responsible for so many great things and I thank her for all of them) and the more in-depth Fanlore page on the original proposal for AO3, where you can find links to relevant issues surrounding the proposal’s creation and the result of the proposal. See? Not a nihilist, Chaos. I'm helping. Like I'm "supposed to." Ugh.

The long and short of this is that internet fanfiction communities were facing censorship from the hosting sites. LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net were getting worried about the legality and perceived morality of different kinds of fanfiction, and a new site was being created specifically to profit off of fanfiction. 

For the sake of this discussion, we are going to use the word "curation". LJ, FF.net, and others were intentionally curating the kind of content they would allow and would allow users to see and interact with, partly out of fear of lawsuits, and partly out of a desire to police morality. The cleaning processes they used to get rid of things they did not like were referred to as "purges."

In the purges, many sexually explicit fics were lost. We aren’t talking about something the average 2020s romantasy reader (that’s you, ACOTAR fan!) would necessarily shy away from. We’re largely talking about a level of explicit nature that mirrors the general content of ACOTAR. There were of course fics that were less explicit, and fics that were considerably more explicit. By my understanding, the bulk were things we now see in published work.

Many fics with LGBT natures were lost, because the crackdown on “morality” I mentioned? Yeah. That had a lot to do with LGBT issues. Others have written a lot more extensively and a lot more eloquently than I can on this subject, so I am going to leave it at that. Just know it was a very large issue, and if you want more on this feel free to do some research of your own!

So the problems were numerous. The solution was created. Now we have Archive of Our Own (AO3). (Am I saying that AO3 is perfect? No. That, like most things, is a whole other post.)

AO3 is an archive. It is a hosting site, but it went about it differently than fanfiction.net or livejournal, or most of the niche, fandom-specific sites. Very few of those actually exist anymore, but they were cool.

As an archive, AO3's role was to be a place where the fics that could not be on the other sites because of curation would go to be. Notable fics that were posted in the early days of Archive of Our Own were fics with incest (wincest started here! And don’t tell me AO3 didn’t want it because, well, the creators were the ones writing it, and yes, I have sources for that), brutal violence, and explicit sexual content, among other, much more SFW G-rated type fics. 

They all had a home on AO3, because AO3 was designed primarily for authors (see sources linked above for more). It is notably not a social media, because it is intended to store works (regardless of their content*) and not share them. (*This is mostly true. There have been some problems because of this, often in the realm of Real Person Fics, or RPF. Again, it's a whole other post, but bears repeating.)

Chaos, what on earth does that have to do with fandom [Character/Ship] Week(s)?

I'm overjoyed that you would ask me such a question! It has everything to do with it.

Since the internet has taken over as the primary fandom connector, we have seen a democratization of fandom. We no longer have Zine editors telling us what we can and cannot write. We are protected by AO3's careful non-profit model, ensuring that no one is profiting off of characters owned by other people or franchises.

It has been said that "every rule and regulation you work to enforce has been written in the blood of others." 

That is... overly dramatic.

You do remember we’re called ‘Chaos’ here, right?

Fair. Why do you insist on being so damn cheerful when you’re talking about rules written in blood?

I’m trying to keep it light, Editorial Chaos. Please just… shut up.

Fine.

AO3 exists largely because certain types of fanfiction were being excluded from fandom. People were upset at the purges. People were upset that they weren't being allowed to write work with characters being in LGBT relationships. People were upset that an LGBT fic automatically got a more severe rating than its heterosexual counterpart, just on the basis of containing LGBT content. The little purges were numerous, and there were multiple large purges as platforms decided what they would be willing to accept and what they would leave by the wayside.

Archive of Our Own changed the model. Instead of platforms moderating what they would allow, AO3 implemented a tagging system which would allow readers looking for works in the archive to filter out content they did not want, or to filter for content they did want. Instead of the filter being run by the governing body, the archive was just there. It was up to the user to decide what they would read. The user moderated for their individual preferences, instead of the Organization for Transformative Works (OTW is the governing body of AO3) deciding for an entire, diverse body of fans what they would be allowed to consume. OTW’s creators saw the blood spilled. And they used it to write new rules.

This became the standard of fandom because of its equal opportunity approach. Fandoms have the ability to self-govern, and one of the easiest and safest ways to do that is through comprehensive tagging systems.

Tumblr has an incredible tagging system. Could it be better? Sure. But you can block tags for things you don't like. You, the individual. You, the solitary person, with your own lens through which you view the world. You, who are different to anybody who has ever been, and different from anyone who will be, because no one will ever share your exact set of thoughts, words, feelings, and actions. YOU.

Essentials so far:

Hosting sites began for all fanfiction

A few hosting sites became Curated sites

Curated sites led to the creation of One Hosting Site to Rule Them All (no matter what issues that may create) AO3

The one hosting site is now the primary archive for thousands of fandoms, open to all kinds of work as long as you tag correctly

The democratization of fandom gives space for all works, and allows users to consume what they will (and avoid what they wish) via comprehensive tagging systems

So... where does that leave us?

ACOTAR is a relatively new fandom. It's boomed in the last couple of years, and that's fine. That's good. It is driven on platforms like TikTok and tumblr.

Do not tell me that the TikTok fans are worse. The grass is not burning any more on the other side of the fence than it is under your feet. And yes, the grass under your feet is burning. Look around! And this is the hellsite, after all.

Tumblr and TikTok, paired with the insane (and awesome!) number of ACOTAR fans, largely keep us apart from previously existing general fandom spaces due to algorithms driving engagement. Many ACOTAR fans are new to fandom culture. I don’t think this is a bad thing. I do think it can create problems where fans with previous fandom experience who are a part of the ACOTAR fandom will clash with fans who are new to fandom.

I think this knowledge gives us a choice. There are two types of hosting sites. Why not create two types of events? This is already happening. If we can label events as one of the two types, then it will help people find their spaces where they are the most comfortable. If we create events that are labeled as either "curated" (large amounts of moderation, limits on ships allowed, etc) or "hosted" (anything goes), then we can ensure that everybody is happy. 

She means that, by the way. She works for "peace". Ha. Imagine that. But seriously, girl…

Okay, well…

My Perspective (And Why Do People Care So Much?)

Am I truly happy with this? No.

It actually really pisses her off, actually. She won’t admit it, but I will.

I think, Editorial Chaos, that fandom benefits from Archive of Our Own type approaches, where anything goes, but you must tag comprehensively. It encourages appropriate reporting of triggering material and content not safe for minors/work. This goes for fandom spaces, but most especially fandom events, which should accept things which under the umbrella of the theme they are celebrating, regardless of the perceived morality of their content.

Maybe we can't expect all spaces to be ready for anything. We don't expect that of all people. However, saying that you are hosting an event which is open to all fans that prevents people from considering a character in a new view, such as considering a morally gray character, who is presented in canon as a protagonist, as an antagonist during their character week, or issuing guidelines which would limit an author's interpretation of characters that fit within an archetype, is not truly hosting a fandom-wide event. That's a curated event. And calling it "curated" here is not a judgment.

She seriously means that, too. In case you actually care. The Suriel knows I don’t.

An event that does not allow for truly transformative fanworks within the bounds of its established purpose (a specific ship for a ship week, or including a certain character for a character week) is not an event that is open. It is curated.

An event that is curated is not open to all fans, and should not be presented as such. I’m not going to make a judgment call and say that it is wrong. Get together with your friends and host your own week. I don’t care if you do that! I encourage it! Call it a fic trade, call it something else, but it isn’t an “open” event. It is curated.

However, I want you to keep something in mind as you curate public-facing events: Stop policing for morality. That’s going to end very poorly for us. Keep in mind that the things you are reading in ACOTAR now would have been, and are, in some places, being pulled from library shelves (if they’re getting published at all!) because of the same kinds of arguments you are making about morality. 

If you truly want more ACOTAR books, consider that, were your thoughts and opinions transposed to the real-life debate about book censorship (which isn’t really different from curation/moderation except that its issued by a corporation or government, which is an added level of intensity) by people who thought explicit sexual content didn’t belong in published books, you wouldn’t have ACOTAR at all.

An event presented as open to all fans when it is not actually open to all fans is in fact censorship, defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary (accessed via Apple) as “the suppression or prohibition of any parts of books, films, news, etc. that are considered obscene, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security.” 

Despite that, if this move to identifying events as either “open” or “curated” is what we need to get through this, then so be it. So be it. I'll be disappointed, and I'll be frustrated. And, so help me, I'll be angry. I will. I will not lie to you about that, but I will deal with it.

I love the “don’t like, don’t read” aspect of fandom. I like extensive, comprehensive, and sometimes-even-silly tagging. I like exploring things that I may not like, and then deciding “this just isn’t for me.” I like blocking tags!

More than that, though? I am tired of the fighting. I am so damn tired of it, guys. We have to do better. We seriously do. 

(Under 18s, and frankly, even 18-25s like myself, I’m just going to say one thing to directly to you, in case you are here. If you only take one point away from this post: Please learn to be nice to each other when you disagree. You, me, and our generations are notoriously bad at that. These people can be some of your best friends. Read that post I linked at the top for more details on good old human decency on public facing platforms. Complain to each other in DMs here or on Discord. Go outside and scream when you are frustrated, if you must. You’ll thank yourself one day, I promise.)

We are not treating each other with basic human dignity. We are not treating people like people. We also are not doing a good job of simply moving away from things that upset us at an individual level. We cannot expect to only see things we agree with. What we can do is acknowledge that our emotions are our responsibility. 

Community spaces do not need to be moderated for your enjoyment. If you are a part of a community space intended to be enjoyed with moderation like Reddit or some Facebook groups, great! If you are a part of a large group of people on a public platform like Tumblr, or in some type of semi-open community space like an open Facebook group or Discord server with a ton of people and expect to only see things you agree with or never encounter criticism, tough. 

Learn to accept criticisms of ideas you agree with. You don’t have to accept the criticism itself. You do have to accept that people are going to have thoughts you may not agree with, and that you will see them from time to time no matter how well you think you have blocked and closed off your experience to fit your tastes. (There is a big difference between appropriate criticism in the general environment and direct vitriolic hatred, which I decried in the post you should have read before starting. Which is why Editorial Chaos insisted you started there, to be clear.)

It’s exhausting to pretend like things are fine.

The grass is burning, remember? We’re all on this hellsite together.

So take from this post what you will. Consider my proposal for two kinds of fandom events. Ask questions, if you wish. Send me your thoughts. 

Just remember I’ll be the one answering cruel ones. Keep it together, folks. I was raised well, but I’ve got Nesta’s tongue and years of therapy to prove it.

I wish you all well. I truly do. I hope you learned something, or were able to consider something in a new light. I hope you find it helpful. 

All my best,

Chaos

Hey. Can I go, too?

Yeah, dude. Go to bed. It’s like… 3 AM and you’ve been obsessively working on this for days. How many research papers on censorship in fan controlled spaces did you-

Shut up, Chaos. At least we’re done now. Finally. Peace, y’all. <3 (not really), Editorial Chaos

xxx

One final note from my last editing round of this piece: I truly did spend days researching these topics, and reading thoughts from various points of view here on tumblr. I hope having the back and forth from "Chaos" to "Editorial Chaos" was entertaining rather than distracting. I hope some part of you enjoyed reading this. I truly do.

The first draft of this post was written not long after the Elaingate hashtag was created. It was a lot shorter. It was a lot meaner. It was a lot more discombobulated. I hope, despite the length and the occasional rudeness, that you have been able to learn something new, or consider a new perspective.

This subject matters a lot to me. In my state, we are fighting book bans left and right, and have been for a few years now. I recognize a lot of the statements I have seen here on tumblr from that very fight, and it makes it incredibly personal to me.

Thank you for understanding that for me, and many others around the globe who face much stricter regulations than those proposed in my district, this is more than a debate about morality and censorship in fanfiction. It is about addressing a pattern of thought that has real world consequences in our neighborhoods.

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for your kindness. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

And in case anyone is curious? Editorial Chaos is the bitch who edits all my fanfictions. Yes, really. She has her own brain (/kidding!). And she's so mean to me. All the time. (/true.)

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks @the-golden-comet here and here, @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife here, @happypup-kitcat24 here, @mrbexwrites here, @museandquill here,

@the-golden-comet here, and @drchenquill here!

Rules: answer the questions in the POV of an OC, then provide three more questions!

I thought I'd catch up finally with this game, but alas.

Previous Questionnaires:

Rounds One and Two

Round Three: Maddie, Ash, Noelle, Ewan, Jazlyn, Lexi, Alex, Carmen

See below for: Gwen, Gabriel, Liam, Xitlali, Akash, Jedi, Rose, Sam

#1- Gwen

Do you celebrate birthdays?

“Of course I do! I sometimes have a party, though it's usually small. We have a tradition that over the weekend of my birthday, whenever it is, we visit where we buried my twin sister, who was stillborn. As a way to honor her.”

Where do you go when you need to unwind?

“My room has this corner that feels hidden. It's where I put a bunch of beanbags and pillows and curl up in there to read.”

Have you ever meditated?

“Yes, I have! It's a good way to unwind sometimes, but I prefer reading to do that. Clearing my mind is really hard.”

✨ Gwen intro ✨

#2- Gabriel

What would you do if your enemy asked for help?

“My enemy? I don't have enemies. The closest I have is Parker, and I'm not giving him any title that fancy. He's just a nuisance. If he asked for help, I wouldn't ignore him, you know? Unless it's a situation he could just get out of if he applied himself just a little more.”

Would you ask your enemy for help?

“Ugh, if I must use Parker again, then: no. He's unreliable. I'd never ask for his help.”

Do you act on impulse, or do you think before you act?

“Finally, a question about me. I think before I act, and pretty efficiently, I may add. I am very proficient at identifying a problem and then offering a solution to it. I've been told that I act too quickly, but that's a load of bullshit. I don't act on impulse, but I also don't take too long analyzing every single possible option. Like Liam, for example. *Sigh* Whatever, are we done?”

Other Gabriel: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

#3- Liam

What’s, in your opinion, the worst way to die?

“Oh, my opinion, you say? Haha, okay. The worst way to die is doing something you love. Okay? I keep hearing some shit like that, it's very annoying. ‘Oh, the guy who loved mountain climbing died mountain climbing! At least he died doing something he loved!’ No! If I'm doing something I love, I want to see the end of it! I want to keep living so I can DO IT. I would hate to die in the middle of a debate. I'd lose the argument by default! Either that or they have sympathy for me and decide to declare me the winner posthumously, but what kinda bullshit win is that? I didn't earn it? What if I died in the middle of shooting a movie? Then some other director takes my place and makes it awful! No, I want to see my movie in theaters. I want to see it go to Blu-ray. You want me to die doing something I love? Screw that mentality! I'm not gonna die until I'm old enough to not be able to do the things I love!”

How fond would you say the local authorities are of you?

“Well, I got my dad out of a ticket by arguing with a police officer. Despite my win, I don't think he liked me. I was...fourteen? So I feel like they have this begrudging respect for me.”

Are you capable of murder?

“I believe so. At least manslaughter. And I'd get away with it, too. I took a forensics class in high school, so I learned which crimes got solved and which ones didn't. Gotta make sure the police tamper the hell out of the scene, though. Make it impossible to find evidence. Also, I could be misgendered as a woman either through visuals or DNA. Usually that'd be very annoying, but to get away with a crime? Honestly, it's a benefit in this case. I will admit that. Now, because I've never murdered anyone, I have no idea what would push me to that point in the first place. There is absolutely no precedent. However, knowing myself, it would take a while to truly piss me off. But I'm not gonna say I'd never do it. I believe everyone is capable of murder if you get them to a certain point in their life. It just varies on what the degree is. I do hope I never get to my point, but it would be stupid of me to claim some moral high ground on something I don't actually know for a 100-percent fact.”

Other Liam: OC in three, outfit, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, interview

#4- Xitlali

Imagine this: An entity appears in front of you to grant you one wish, what would you wish for?

“One wish? Okay, fine. That's not too hard. I wish prejudice would go away! I am tired of working twice as hard to get half as far as everyone else simply because I don't have powers!”

If you had the power to change one law of your world, what would it be?

“There are so many laws against Inutilia, it's literally impossible to pick one. I suppose I'd change the law about powers being on our applications. It's crap that I'm passed over for any team I try out for unless I prove I am the best.”

In your opinion, what is more important: sympathy or empathy?

“Unironically, sympathy. Yeah, yeah, empathy means that you feel what the other is feeling, but some people who genuinely struggle with empathy are the most sympathetic people I know. I don't need anyone to know my pain, I just need them to see that I'm in pain. Me and everyone else like me. I don't need anyone taking pity on me, but maybe if one higher-up just felt a little bad, then I'd have more rights.”

More Xitlali: questionnaire one, questionnaire two, bingo

#5- Akash

Do you have a stuffed toy/plushie/toy that you have fond memories of? Do you have it, and if so/not, then why?

“Huh. I guess I do. Robbie and I, when we were in...I think fourth grade, went on a day trip to Houston with our families. Ha, I wonder if we actually were in the same general area as our friends now! That'd be sick. Anyway, we went to the Science Museum, and honestly it was dope. Thankfully our moms loved taking pictures of us so we have a lot of memories, but the toy part comes in during the gift shop. I got this green brachiosaurus and Robbie got this orange triceratops and Sammy somehow ended up with a pink sparkly T-Rex. I still have the brachiosaurus. I named him Steven.”

Do you have a nervous habit/quirk, and what is it?

*runs hand through hair, laughing awkwardly* “Well it's-- Oh no, shit, I just did it.”

What's your favourite flavour of ice cream?

“Neapolitan. It's three flavors in one?! How is this not everyone's favorite, I don't get it.”

Other Akash: OC in three, OC in fifteen, interview, Picrew, two truths and a lie, kiss, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, outfit, fun facts

#6- Jedi

How do you celebrate your birthday?

“I do not do much for my birthday. But Carmen always gets me something.”

Do you have siblings and if so who are you closest with?

“I have one sibling, Kirstie, who I suppose is who I am closest to by default. We talk as often as we can.”

What job would you hate the most?

“I suppose a job where I feel like I'm not making an impact. [Suspicious pause] Or maybe it's just if I couldn't do any science!”

Other Jedi: OC in three, questionnaire one, questionnaire two, smash or pass acearo version, art, fun facts, Picrew

#7- Rose

What is your happiest memory?

“That is a pretty hard question. I guess the first time I hung out with Lexi one on one. Usually she wants larger groups to hang out in, but she invited me to the art museum downtown once. Her mom went with us, obviously, but we were free to roam the actual museum. It was incredible.”

What do you wish to achieve?

“One day, I hope to become a fashion designer. I'd love my own studio. Mainly I just want to hold my designs.”

How far will you go to reach your goals?

“I'm not sure. I don't think I'm that ambitious. If it doesn't happen, I'm sure I'll cope and just find something else.”

✨ Rose intro✨

#8- Sam

Are you petty?

“Hold on, let me think about it. [Several seconds of silence] Oh, no, I think I am! I compete with Kaitlyn over stupid things all the time and I'm annoying to her on purpose when she's annoying to me!” *throws her face into her hands* “Ugh!”

Do you forgive easily?

*face still buried* “Obviously not.” *raises head* “Actually, I think I do. I move on pretty quick. If Kaitlyn apologized, it'd be pretty hard to forgive, but I might eventually, y'know? What if she changes? The first few times it happened, I did forgive her when she apologized. But I also wasn't afraid to storm off when it happened. Am I easy to forgive? Ugh, it feels like I'm running in circles! Please ask me another question!”

Would you describe yourself as very emotional?

“I'm almost crying now, what does that tell you?” *wipes her face and shakes it off* “It's okay! I'm totally fine actually! Nice meeting you, byyyyye!”

Other Sam: questionnaire one, questionnaire two

Tagging @urnumber1star @somethingclevermahogony @buffythevampirelover @nailamoonsi @finickyfelix

+ ANYONE ELSE

Your questions: 1) Is there a part of your personality you wish to change? 2) What is something you know that many people don't? 3) What does love mean to you?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[crestfallencrest]

Hi hello I'm sorry to bother you but I came from your fic "Bravus Vesperia Magica" and I'm too shy to actually comment on the fic so I'm here and-

Words cannot convey how much I love your fic??? Like, i had an appointment today that I was almost late to cause I was too invested in the Yuri v Zagi fight lmao. Also also I'm a SUCKER for fics where everyone's like "God Yuri can you not almost kill yourself doing things for other people" and then he continues to almost kill himself for other people so this is my JAM man (/gender neutral)

And Rita being on screen (???) for like a grand total of ten seconds to kick ass and win Estelle’s heart- so excited to see more of her!! I cannot wait to see how her magical girl moment's going to go. This also applies to Judith because I love Judy :3

As for Raven, I'm guessing Schwann (autocorrect pls work with me) is his magical girl alter ego?? Either way, I'm enjoying his brief apparences so much lol. Niren mentioned Schwann and I was like "yes... YES!!!

afhjshdks speaking of, I was expecting magical girl Flynn, I was Not expecting magical girl Sodia, so that was a fun little surprise! That definitely explains her being shifty before (chapter four maybe? I read on entire work so I can't remember afhsgsj)

Also also also, the fluri moments got to me. Lying in bed giggling like a witch everytime they get into an argument lmao. I'm loving it and little guy Repede so much <3

Point is!! I understand it's been a while since you've updated, so for all I know the fic is done with and you can feel free to delete this, but I just needed you to know I'm losing my mind over this fic and will sit like Hachikō for an update (no pressure. Pls pls don't take this as pressuring into an update, I know how annoying that can be amd don't wish that on anyone) ❤️❤️❤️

AAAAAAAAA hi hello ;w; This was such a sweet comment to read. Im so so so so SOOO glad you enjoyed what you read and i wanna start off by apologizing for the lack of updates!

so a lot of things happened since my last update and i havent exactly been too open about my plans for the future of my fics (mostly bc ive been in a big debate over it) so im gonna just use this post as a chance to update my followers.

As much as I hate to say it, I unfortunately, at this time, i dont have any immediate plans on continuing it. (IM SO SORRY T-T) There was a point where i was actually in the process of rewriting it. I had originally written myself into a tiny lil corner so I started reworking some plot points. I had a WHOLE universe planned out essentially!!

Buuuut then things got pretty hectic in my life >_< work got stressful for a while (which was the only time i could get myself to write LOL), and then i got into a car accident (im fine!) and that stressed me out p badly, and then some personal family stuff happened. And then i JUST NOW got over a really bad sickness that I had since like. Thanksgiving LOL its been fun.

But i guess i just got out of the habit of writing and lost the motivation to do so. And then my ADHD started hyperfocusing on other shows/games (Rune Factory guardians of azuma is RIGHT around the corner, and Mo Dao Zu Shi has me in a chokehold currently) and its just been all over the place. I am so so so so glad you enjoyed what I wrote for BVM and i genuinely hope that one day, I'll get that surge of motivation again to rewrite what I had planned!! And I genuinely hope that you'll be there to see it! (It was in my head so bad that I was planning a prequel fic too bc HOO boy)

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING MY FIC <3 I should go back and read it soon. Maybe it'll give me the boost i need.

[olsenmyolsen]

Any Day Now

Part 20 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: 7.6K

masterlist

Scarlett POV

I don't know what's poking me, but it better stop.

"Mommy, can you wake up?"

I roll my eyes from beneath my closed eyelids. "Five more minutes Rosie," I mumble to my offspring before turning away from where I was being poked.

"But Colin, told me to get you up, so you have to get up!"

I'm going to kill Colin when I see him.

"Baby, please, five more minutes." I groan to an already annoying six-year-old. I love this child to death, but I enjoy my sleep a bit more at this moment. I hear silence from behind me before the shuffling of small feet, and then WHAM! Rose jumps right next to me on the bed, causing the mattress to droop down next to me, waking me up even more.

I open my eyes to see Rose looking back at me with a wide smile.

"Did you think this would get mommy up?" I ask with a smirk before closing my eyes. I hear a sigh come from Rose.

"Please, mommy, get up!" Rose huffs and pulls herself up to her knees before she starts jumping up and down on the bed. "Mommy!" Rose starts raising her voice, and you know what? I'm up now. This child did it. I'm annoyed and awake. I open my eyes and playfully grab a giggling Rose, bringing her down onto the bed.

"Mommy's up! You happy now?" Rose is in the midst of a laughing fit. "Sooooo happy!" "Well, how about now!" I ask as I start to tickle my daughter's side, making her fit of laughter grow louder and harder.

It's not long till my daughter is begging for mercy which I guess I'll give her.

Whatever.

Anyways I'm now, like, actually up and moving to my bathroom while my sweet Rose follows me. "Rose, you don't have to follow me and watch me pee." "I know, but Colin told me to make sure you get up and do all your morning stuff. He didn't say stuff, but I don't remember the word he said."

Rose kindly informs me, so with a smile on my face, I finish peeing before moving on to my morning routine while Rose watches me eagerly.

Once that's all done, I debate changing out of my nightwear, but I can feel Rose's patience is wearing thin, so I get a move on.

Just as we're about to step out the bedroom door, Rose has her arms around my legs. "Happy Mother's day, Mommy!" She beams at me.

Oh shit. It is Mother's Day! Why in the hell am I not being served breakfast in bed? Before I can let these essential questions weigh my mind down, Rose is tugging at my hand to usher us out the door, so we can see what my husband has been cooking up.

And yes, I don't want to kill him now. I just enjoy my sleep. Sue me!

As we reach the bottom of the stairs, Rose is off and racing to the kitchen to inform Colin of the great job she did in getting me up. I smile at my little offspring as she not so discreetly, runs past some red balloons. I laugh as I look around the foyer to see if there is anything I missed.

As I scan the area, my eyes land on a pair of heels left at the front door. Until now, I didn't even remember that those two spent the night. Hell, I don't even think they know they spent the night here. Maybe forcing wine down their throats wasn't the best idea. Is this why Colin wanted me up? So I could wake up the sleeping beauties? I look back up the stairs before calling out to the two awake people in the house.

"Rosie. Colin. I left something upstairs." I couldn't quite make out was Rose said, but it sure made Colin laugh. "Okay, babe!"

I make my way up the stairs and stop at the closed guest bedroom door. I knock a couple of times gently, earning no response. I don't want to barge, but if I'm up, they need to get up! And it's my house! "Okay," I say quietly to myself. "Please don't be naked. Don't be naked."

I turn the door handle and push the door open. Luckily the window curtain is pushed apart slightly, so it's letting some sunlight in, making the room not as dark as it could be.

As I step into the room, I smile at the sight before me.

It's Y/N flat on her back with Lizzie nuzzled into her neck. They both have their arms wrapped around one another, holding each other. It's cute, and the closer I get, I see the biggest smile on Lizzie's sleeping face.

They're not naked, but I notice they're wearing my clothes. I knew Lizzie went into my room last night!

Time to wake them up.

Y/N POV

I don't know what's poking me, but it better stop.

"Y/N, you wanna wake up?"

I groan and turn my face away from whatever is calling to me. "Five more minutes," I mumble before hearing the person huff and followed by silence.

Good.

Just as I'm about to doze back off, I hear some feet shuffling before the person sounds like they're next to me. Ugh. God, who do they think they are trying to wake me right now?

And then, I feel a breath of air hit my ears before a raspy voice begins talking to me.

"Y/N, if you wake up right now, I can show you alllll the ways Black Widow is better than your little witch." Before my tired mind can even respond, I feel a soft hand brush its fingers down my cheek, making my eyes shoot open.

Oh, fuck, it's Black Widow- uh- I mean Natasha, no, shit, I mean- Scarlett! And she's inches from my face! Am I dreaming?

I visibly gulp at the sight of her smirk as her green eyes look from my own to my lips. Suddenly she's moving closer before she turns her head and has her red lips next to my ear again.

"You look so cute when you blush for me, Y/N. I'd like to see that happen more often." She practically moans into my ear in her raspy whisper fuck me of a voice.

And then suddenly, she's up on both her feet clapping As loud as possible, "get up! Get up! Get up!"

What is wrong with this woman??

Wait? Am I still drunk? What is that? No way!

Is Scarlett pregnant? How did I miss that last night?

"Scarlett, shut the fuck up!" My sweet Lizard draws my shocked face away from Scarlett to her as she yells in her sexy morning voice! "I have the world's worst headache, and I don't want to get up to kill you!" My Liz turns away from me and flops her head hard into her pillow.

"She really is a pillow princess, huh?" Scarlett teases as she gives me that world-famous smirk once more.

She is playing with fire right now.

And then WHOOSH! A pillow comes flying past me towards Scarlett, but luckily the pregnant woman's reflexes are quicker than mine as she catches the pillow with ease, earning a whine from Liz.

"No fair!" I turn back to a pouting Liz. "You can't just wake us up and not get hit?" Scarlett just shrugs at her. "Too bad. Now get your asses up. We got breakfast, Advil, and a six-year-old waiting!" Scarlett crosses her arms, waiting for us to get a move on. "How are you so awake right now?" I groan out as Liz takes my hand in hers and rests her head on my shoulder. "You have said six-year-old to thank for that. Now chop-chop." Scarlett demands. Pillow still in hand. Very threatening.

I'm still a little stunned by how I was woken up and the fact that I'm in Scarlett Johanssons' house that I feel myself painfully not moving. I turn to see Liz smile at me with tired eyes before she whispers. "The quicker we get up, the quicker she's gone. And then we can get our kisses in." I smile and manage to convince my legs to move up and out of the bed, satisfying Scarlett.

"Good! Alright, the guest bathroom is down the hall. Lizzie, you know where. Be quick, guys. I'll see you downstairs." Scarlett says before tossing the pillow back into the bed, leaving Lizzie and I alone.

Liz immediately flips back onto the bed with her arms wide open. It's the quiet and most obvious signal in the world, and so far, I have yet not to give in. I jump into my girlfriends arms and let my body rest on hers as she squeezes her arms around me.

"I want to stay like this forever," Liz says as I feel her lips press onto my cheeks. "Me too, baby." And so we lay like that, not forever but for enough time to pass that I feel Liz's breathing start to slow, meaning she's falling asleep again.

"Liz?" I whisper, hoping she's not too far dozed off. "Liz? Baby?" She moves under me, nuzzling her head into my neck even more. "I don't wanna." She whines, causing my heart to warm up and break at the same time. "I think we have to. Come on." I kiss the top of her head and go to get up, but she quickly wraps her legs around mine, pulling me back onto her.

"Liz, as much as I love this and would love to keep doing this, Scarlett and her daughter are waiting for us." My Lizard slowly unwraps her legs from behind me, allowing me to lift myself off of her and take in the beauty of my girlfriend. How does she look ethereal at all times? We just woke up, and she could walk a runway. Unfair. "Something caught your eye?" At the sound of her voice, my eyes travel back to hers.

"You. Always you." I reply before I bring my lips to her own. Liz smiles and lets out a small laugh on my lips. "I'm so lucky." She husks out, leaving a confused look on my face because that's me. I'm the lucky one. But before I can say anything, Liz is pushing up into me, causing me to get off her fully. "Alright, let's get down there?" Liz says as she opens the bedroom door.

"Oh wait!" She stops and turns around to face me. She grabs the collar of Scarlett's graphic shirt that I'm wearing, pulling me into a kiss that quickly trails down to my collarbone.

Once again, Liz is marking what's hers.

I would protest, but I enjoy this too much.

Sue me!

Once Liz's lips leave my skin, the cool air rushes over the fresh red she left behind. I look down at the mark before looking at the lustful eyes of my girlfriend. I feel my cheeks start to burn, causing a satisfied smirk to form on Liz's face. We're now in this moment, and I don't know what to do, but I don't want to leave.

Liz must actually read minds because she's walking up to me, placing her hands on my hips, rubbing up and down. "You look cuter when you blush for me." My eyes go wide as Liz turns on her heels and walks out the bedroom door.

She heard?! How!?

By the time I poke my head out the door, I see Liz happily bouncing down the stairs. I want to chase her down, but my morning bladder has another idea. So after locating the bathroom, peeing, looking over my hickey, and freshening myself up, I make my way out of the bathroom and down the stairs. I was surprised to see Liz waiting for me at the last step.

"Any day now Y/N!" "Why were you waiting?" "Because I wanted you to see this first hand!" Before I can question what she means, she's dragging me towards the sound of a child laughing and Scarlett pretending to be a dinosaur.

Liz POV

As we round the corner to the kitchen, I let my hand drop from Y/N's so I can have both hands to surprise my little Rosie. Colin clocks me and nods my way as I make my way toward the two giggling blondes. Colin also looks toward Y/N and gestures for her to sit next to him at the kitchen island. I see Y/N knock back some Advil and water as the taller blonde notices me sneaking and crouches in front of her daughter.

"Rose-" "I'm not Rose right now. I'm Dino-Rose!" Scarlett puts a hand on her head. "You're right, Dino-Rose how could I forget! But can Dino-Rose listen to me?" Rose stops swinging her arms and pouts. "Am I in trouble?" Scarlett shakes her head at her dramatic daughter. "Not at all, sweetie. I want to talk to you. So you know how Mommy went out with some friends last night, and you stayed with grandma?"

Rose nods her head. "Well, Mommy's friends stayed here last night!" Rose tilts her head at her mom. "Are they living here now?" Even that earns a chuckle from Colin, who's been watching this whole interaction with heart eyes for his girls. Scarlett takes her time to reassure Rose that, no, her friends are not moving in.

"Good, because I didn't want to share my toys yet.." Scarlett looks up from Rose and to me. Signaling that now might be a good opportunity to jump in.

"You wouldn't even share with me?" I pipe up, causing Rose to whip her head so fast in my direction. "Aunty Lizzie!" Suddenly I have a six-year-old sprinting at me, and my only choice is to accept whatever comes next.

A hug. That's what comes next. Rose ran to me at full speed before coming to a full-blown stop with arms stretched out and puppy dog eyes. So, of course, I gave in and let her give me the world's biggest and greatest hug!

We're currently sitting on the floor as she keeps a squeeze on me and keeps telling me how much she missed me and how much she loves Wanda, much to her mom's distaste.

I kiss the top of Rose's head after she's had enough hug time and hips off me. I pull myself up and dart my eyes toward my smiling girlfriend. "What?" She shakes her head at me and mouthes, "you're perfect." Which makes a quick blush form on my face. Rose has now returned to her mom and is demanding why she didn't know Aunty Lizzie was here! Scarlett is doing her best, but Rose is putting up a good fight.

Rose has now come back to me and is asking to be held. "Rose, last time I did this, you said you were a big girl and didn't want it." "Please, Aunty Lizzie, it's been so long." I roll my eyes before scooping the little one up. She's not a million pounds or anything, but I'm glad Marvel makes me do some sort of workout. "Happy?" Rose simply nods before she furrows her brows.

"What is it, Rosie?"

"Is Uncle Robbie here too?"

With that question, the room freezes. Kids huh?

I take it with all the excitement and Dino time. Rose hasn't even had time to notice Y/N. Shit. I glance my eyes towards Scarlett, who has an apologetic look.

"Uh- No, Rose, he's not here, but I did bring someone with me?" She looks disappointed but interested. I move my body, so Rose can look in Y/N's direction. I can see Y/N internally struggling on how to handle this situation. However, before Y/N can even greet Rose, the little one moves her head away and into my neck. I look to Y/N's eyes, and it's like I can see her heart become fragile. I then look to Scarlett, who is just waiting with bated breath. She has walked towards my Coffee Girl for support but hasn't said anything. Thankfully Colin speaks up.

"Rose, it's okay." He gets up from his seat at the kitchen island and walks towards Rose and me. He crouches down in front of us so he can look up to Rose as opposed to down at her.

"Rose. Remember I was new once too?" He offers only gaining the movement of Rose's head. "It's okay to be shy, but just know your mom and Aunty Lizzie will never put you around someone they don't trust or love." Colin looks to me and gives me a tight smile. He's really trying with Rose right now.

"Rose, do you wanna come down, and we can go say hi to Y/N together?" Rose shakes her head no. Colin thinks."Do you want Aunty Lizzie to take you?" Rose turns her head to look at Colin before shaking it yes. "Okay." He nods before bringing himself off the floor. I mouth a thank you before walking towards Y/N.

Y/N has silently moved from the kitchen island to next to it, making it easier for all of us. I start making my way towards Y/N while Rose looks at her with such intensity. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Rose isn't my daughter. Maybe a tiny part of my brain wants Rose to like Y/N more than Robbie? It sounds messed up but is it true?

After what felt like forever, we're standing before my girlfriend. She isn't as tall as Colin, so she doesn't crouch in front of us, but she does hunch slightly.

"Hi, Rose. I'm Y/N. I know meeting new people can sometimes be scary, and that's okay." Y/N stops talking, and of course, Rose is giving her nothing. "Oh, my favorite color is orange. What's yours?" Y/N offers a little wave and question to Rose, who tilts her head in thought.

"Purple."

You can feel the room come back to life.

"Purple is an awesome color! Did you make that?" Y/N points to a handmade card that reads "Happy Mommy's Day" in purple crayon. Rose nods her head. "It's for Mommy. She's a superhero." Y/N's smile gets bigger the more she talks to Rose, and I can see that soon enough, Rose will have her wrapped around her finger.

I must've tuned out what was happening because the next thing I know, "Auntie Lizzie" is being said.

"No, I'm not a superhero like your Mommy and Auntie Lizzie. But they are pretty cool, aren't they?" Rose again nods before turning to me whispering in my ear.

Y/N POV

I look toward Colin and Scarlett, who are showing nothing but pure smiles. Clearly happy with how Rose came out of her shell. Not that being shy is terrible, but I think they just wanted Rose to like me and to not ask any more about Robbie.

Right now, Rose is whispering something in Liz's ear, making her giggle and whisper back to Rose.

I am watching my dirty blonde holding this cute as a button child, talking about who knows what is making the baby fever kick into overdrive.

"Y/N." I gaze at my girlfriend's face at the sound of her angelic voice. "Rose and I have been talking, and Rose would like to ask you something?" What kind of question did these two cook up? Oh, God. I can feel my nerves start to run laps around my body. I look to Rose.

"Who's your favorite superhero?" I hear Scarlett snort at the seriousness with which the question was asked. That's it? Wait. Is this a trick?

"Well, what's your favorite superhero?" I ask, hoping to trick the kid into giving me the correct answer. "You can't ask me. I asked you." Rose says with a smile. I step towards Lizzie and Rose before bending down slightly. "Rose, is your Auntie Lizzie trying to get me to say that Wanda is my favorite?" This cause Rose to laugh while trying to talk. "Noooo." I nod as though I believe her. "Okay." I then pretend to take some serious thought into Rose's question.

"Black Widow is my favorite Rose. What about you?" Roses jaw drops, and she looks at Lizzie, shocked! "I told you she would say Black Widow." I hear Liz not so quietly whisper into Rose's ear. Rose then turns back to Liz and whispers in her ear as well.

These girls love to only talk to each other.

Liz nods before saying, "I think that's a wonderful idea, Rose."

Liz carefully places Rose onto her feet before smiling at me. Rose cautiously makes her way to me, delighting Scarlett. In an effort to not mess anything up, I choose to remain standing.

"Aunty Lizzie said that since your favorite superhero is Black Widow, maybe you would want to play superheroes with me?" I smile down at Rose before crouching down to her level. "I'd love that, Rose! Thank you."

"You're welcome." Rose then looks over at me. "Is it okay if I hug you?" I think my heart might explode. "Of course, Rose! Thank you for asking!" I throw open my arms and close my eyes as Roses arms land on my side. I hear some coos from the adults in the room, and I'm pretty confident I heard a picture being snapped, but I'll ask about it later.

"I'm sorry about being shy earlier," Rose admits to me as our hug comes to an end. "Rose. That's okay. Remember what Colin said? It's okay to be shy. I was shy to meet you." Rose looks at me. "Really?" "Yeah! I thought since your mom and aunt were sooooo cool that their little Rose has to be like the coolest person ever!"

Rose throws on a little smirk at hearing how cool she is. Damn the Johanssons and their smirks. This little one is going to have me wrapped around her finger soon enough. Rose then looks up at her mom. "Is it okay if Y/N and I go play? I know it's your special day, but please, mom!" Rose jumps up and begs her mother, whose green eyes are full of happiness. I see it.

I also stand up and look to Liz. She places a hand over her heart and gives me a happy frown. "Rose, do you not want breakfast first?" Her mother raises an eyebrow in question. "No, I had some chocolate when Colin wasn't watching earlier," Rose states, not even looking at her mom. I have to cover my mouth to hold in the laughter. Scarlett groans more at Colin than Rose before ushering us away. "But you're going to have a full breakfast when we get done, okay?" "Okay!" Rose answers, pulling me away with her.

Liz POV

I smile at the sound of Rose giggles getting further away. Not because she is gone but because she is with Y/N.

"Name your price."

Huh? I turn my head to Scarlett. "What?" "Name your price. How much are you willing to pay for Rose."

"Scarlett," Colin says while laughing. "You can't sell Rose."

"Look at her face Col. I think she'd pay anything to see those two be happy and get along. I bet her ovaries are already putting up a fight."

My jaw hits the floor at the words falling out of Scar's mouth. Is she wrong? No. But she doesn't have to say it.

Thankfully once again, Colin steps up. "I'm sorry for her, Lizzie." Scarlett puts up her arms in defeat. "Listen, I'm just saying. Once this one comes along." Scarlett points to her growing stomach. "Lizzie will be begging to see him with Y/N."

Oh my God, Scarlett, stop talk- wait. Him?

Scarlett's having a boy?!

"Him?!" I ask in shock. Colin notices the look in my eyes and looks at his wife. Scarlett sees it, too, and starts walking towards me. "You're having a boy?" I ask, needing answers. I can see panic growing on her face. Scar reaches out and grabs my hands placing. "Yes, I'm having a boy." I go to jump up and squeal, but Scarlett's pregnancy reflexes are quick as she puts a hand over my mouth, shutting me up. "Rose doesn't know yet." My mouth once again drops. "Scarlett, this is amazing! I'm so happy for you! Oh my God." Before she can even protest, I'm hugging the Black Widow.

Once she's released from my grip, I quickly make my way to Colin and pull him into a hug as well. "Talk about a weekend update," I say, earning a groan from the other two people in the room. "Hunter said the same thing." I frown in disappointment. "You mean I'm not the first one to know again!" Scarlett shakes her head at me. "I'm sorry it slipped out when he came for dinner a while back." "Ugh. Fine." I try and pout, but I'm so happy for my friend right now.

"Okay, since you're pregnant. You sit down and relax while Colin and I prepare you, your daughter, and my Y/N an exceptional breakfast!" This causes no argument, as Scarlett will easily bow out from making meals when I'm around.

_

"What you got there?"

I ask Colin, who seems to be putting mustard on some peanut butter spread on toast with slices of pickles. "Scarlett's pregnancy craving at the time. I'm making it now just in case she wants it with breakfast." He looks disgusted by the creation, and frankly, so am I.

It's not often that it's just Colin and I left by ourselves. He's a nice guy and has been there for Scarlett in more ways than one. When she first told me about this guy she was falling for, I was a little shocked, to put it nicely. But he makes her and Rose happy, which in turn makes me happy. I'm sure others would disagree but ehh.

"So, how are you holding up?"

"I'm excited." He turns away from Scar's gross food to focus on the eggs he's scrambling. "You know, nervous but excited." I nod at his generic answer before continuing-

"Do you think I'll be a good dad?" I turn my attention away from the stack of waffles I got going on as this conversation gets more serious. "I mean, I think I will be, but... this is my first kid. I love Rose to death, but I wasn't there for those early years. What if when I'm there for this kid, I fuck up or..." Colin closes his eyes as the worry and panic start to overtake him. "I don't know. It's stupid." I shake my head and move the pan of eggs onto an unused stovetop before dragging Colin into a kitchen chair.

"That's not stupid, Colin. It sounds cliché, but I feel like no parent knows what to do their first time around. Hell. I bet Scarlett will forget things this go around too." He chuckles at that. "All that matters is that you love and care for that baby no matter what. Let's not forget anytime you need Y/N or I to come by and help, we will. Plus, do you think you'll be a good dad? Don't just say yes. Think about it." Colin leans back in his chair and closes his eyes in thought. I wonder if this is how he writes jokes.

"Yeah. I will be."

"Then you will be."

I simply state before returning to the ever-growing breakfast. It takes Colin a couple of minutes before he rejoins me. "Thanks, Lizzie." "No problem, Mr. Johansson," I smirk at him, making him roll his eyes. "Now, I can finish up here if you want to go and grab your wife. Then I'll leave you two to talk for a minute while I get the girls. Cool?"

"Cool."

"Oh wait, Lizzie." I turn to see Colin holding my phone. "I found this on the steps this morning. I didn't know if it was yours or Y/N's." I take it from him. He could've just looked at the wallpaper and seen whose phone it was. I tap the screen, and it doesn't turn on. The phone is dead. Ah, that's why.

"Thanks, Colin. Do you have any extra chargers?" Colin thinks. "Maybe in the living room? I'll ask Scarlett." I nod before he leaves. _

After Scar and Colin returned, I begin charging my phone before I'm off to find where those two rascals went. After consulting Rose's mom, she said they'd be in Rose's room or her old playroom, which is being transformed into baby #2 nursery. However, they made it pretty obvious where they were when I overheard Rose giggling about Y/N's, and I quote, "horrible form," to which Y/N said Natasha was nothing but a poser earning more giggle from Rose.

I was going to knock and interrupt, but I was having more fun listening in.

"Come on, Y/N, let's color!"

Y/N POV

Hanging out with Rose is sooo fun, but goddamn, it's tiring.

After we made it to her room to get some extra toys, we made it into another room that Rose called her playroom. It looked like a nursery, but whatever the kid was happy, so was I.

For the first couple of minutes, Rose showed me all of her Black Widow action figures. Some looked like Scarlett, while some were scary bad. Rose, let me pick first, and I picked one that looked nothing like the Black Widow we know and love. We played with them for a while. Pretending to go on missions to pretending that our widows were sisters. It was all fun. Once Rose got bored of that, she wanted us to be Widows, so that mainly involved me holding Rose up or her tackling me or Rose making fun of my "horrible form." By the end of it, we just ended up lying on the floor together, coloring in her Frozen coloring books.

I haven't seen Frozen or its sequel, but don't let Rose find that out.

I'm happily coloring in a guy with his reindeer when Rose stops what she is doing and scootches closer to me. I look over at her, and I'm instantly worried and looking her over. She seems concerned and sad. I drop the coloring pencils and sit up to comfort her.

"Hey, Rose. What's wrong?" I try and keep my voice calm to not stress her out anymore. Rose moved closer to me and opened her arms, so I did the same, allowing her to crawl into my lap. "It's okay, Rose. You don't have to talk or anything if you don't want to." Geez, now I'm immediately backtracking in case I said something wrong. "Do you want me to get your mom or Colin?" Rose shakes her head no and lifts her face to me. "Why isn't Uncle Robbie here? He always comes when Aunty Lizzie visits. But now you're here."

Well, there goes my heart. I hear it shattering.

I don't know how to proceed, but Rose is looking at me, and I know this moment will be in her memory for years to come.

"I'm sorry, Rose. Do you not like me being here?" Let's start there. "No. I like you. You're funny and play Superhero with me." I smile at that. "But Uncle Robbie also did that, and now he's not here."

Fucking hell.

I look towards the playroom door as it gently opens. Liz walks in with an apologetic smile. Shit. Did she hear? "Hey, you two!" Liz pretends like she didn't interrupt a meaningful conversation, but I've been picking up on her acting skills. Liz gets closer to us and "notices" an upset Rose. "Rosie, what's wrong?" Rose looks up at me before looking towards Liz.

"Where's Uncle Robbie?" Liz looks at me before sitting down right in front of Rose and I.

"You know how sometimes when your mom and I talk and you get bored because we talk about "grown-up stuff"?" Rose shakes her head, a little confused. "Well, you and I are going to have one of those talks." "About Uncle Robbie?" Liz nods her head. "Is he dead?" Rose bluntly asked, shocking my girlfriend and me. Liz's jaws drops while I cover my mouth. "No, sweetie Robbie is not dead." Liz quickly refutes any doubt in Rose's mind. Rose physically wipes non-existent sweat from her forehead. Colin totally taught her that. Liz smiles at Rose before putting on a serious face.

"Robbie is very much alive in Los Angeles and grown-up time Rose." She firmly says to make sure Rose listens. "Uncle Robbie and I aren't together anymore." I would've phrased this a bit better, but I can see Liz getting stressed from talking about this, so I can give the girl a break.

"Like you aren't getting married like Colin and mommy did?" "That's right, sweetie." Rose moves her head down in thought before she gets up and hugs Liz. "I'm sorry, Aunty Lizzie." Awww. Liz puts her arms around the tiny human. "It's okay, Rose. Everything's fine now." "You'll find someone else to marry." Rose casually drops before turning back to face me. "Thanks for being there for my Aunty," Rose says to me before she turns back to Liz. "Is grown-up talk over?"' Liz nods. "It can be."

Without another word, Rose starts picking up her coloring books and pencils. I watch as Rose does this task with ease before my eyes latch onto my Lizard. She's wiping away a couple of tears that have escaped. In an instant, I'm on my knees in front of her helping her out. "Tell her." Liz husks out to me. "Tell who, what?" "Tell Rose about us." "Me?" Liz simply nods before calling out to Rose. "Y/N has something she'd like to tell you." Rose moves away from her pile of books and comes up to Liz and me, sitting on the floor.

I've never been good at talking to kids, mostly because I have never been around them, and now here I am, having multiple serious conversations with Scarlett Johanssons kid. What is my life?

"Rose, does it make you sad that Auntie Lizzie isn't with Uncle Robbie?" I cautiously ask as I feel Liz's hand work its way up my back, silently comforting me. "If Aunty Lizzie isn't sad, then I'm not sad." I nod and move on. "How would you feel if Auntie Lizzie started seeing someone else?"

"If it's you, then I'd be happy."

I don't know why a kid's approval who has no blood relation to either Liz or me is so damn important, but I'm glad I got it.

"It is me." I smile at Rose, who looks between Liz and I before jumping up and down and then onto us. "Yay! That makes me so happy, Aunty Lizzie! I'm gonna go tell my mommy!" And before we can even stop her, that kid is out of the room.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had and fall onto the floor. Liz does the same before she rolls onto her side placing her arm on my stomach. "Still want kids someday?" Liz teases. "I do." Liz doesn't reply, but she does lean up and place a kiss onto my cheek. "You were great with her."

"Really? I feel like I didn't know what I was doing."

Liz just smiles down at me.

"I think that's called parenting." I roll my eyes. "Not for us yet." "No, not yet. You still have people to meet." Liz reminds me, even though I know she's nervous whenever that day happens because I know not long after that, the world will soon know too.

"You ready to get up? Some yummy waffles are waiting!" Liz scrunches her face up, and just as I'm about to answer, my stomach decides now is the time to put on a concert forcing Liz and I to laugh like idiots.

"Come on, let's go!" Liz hops onto her feet before pulling me up too.

"Oh, actually, you go ahead with it being Mother's Day. I should probably call my mom now as opposed to later."

Liz nods at me and gives me an ole sailor's kiss before leaving me in the former playroom.

Liz POV

So did Y/N and I admit that we want to get married and have kids with each other, or am I crazy? Is that why she suddenly needs to call her mom? Also, that kiss that I left her with! I'm not going off to war.

Man, my ovaries are attacking me today...

I close my eyes and slowly breathe in and out, shaking off the thoughts swarming my mind. Once I feel grounded and calm, I make my way down the stairs to an already set-up dining room.

Just as I'm about to comment on how I could've helped set the table, Scarlett comes and pulls me into a hug. "Lizzie! Rose told us the good news!" Why is Scarlett using her fake voice? Also, what good news? "About you and Y/N!" Oh right. "Oh! Yes. Thank you! Rose, are you happy that you got tell your mom and Colin?" I look at the six-year-old who is stuffing her face full of waffles. "Hmm, mmm! Aunty Liz-" "Rose, swallow your food before you talk." Scarlett sternly tells her kid. Rose starts chewing rapidly before swallowing and looking back to me. "Aunty Lizzie, did you hear I'm going to be a big sister to a boy!" "I did, Rose that's so awesome! You're going to be the best big sister!" Rose grins at me before going back to what's most important. Her food.

"Where is Y/N?" Colin looks at me with an eyebrow raised. "She's calling her mom." Both adults go ahh as I join the family at the table.

After loading up a plate for Y/N and myself, I dig in. I could wait, but Rose didn't, so why should I? Within minutes silence has taken over the table. I don't think any of us realized how hungry we were. Even Scar is eating her gross toast.

After swallowing some fruit, I decided to break it up. "So Colin, how's SNL? Planning on staying on?" Colin nods. "It's great. I'm a head writer now. You know it pays the bills-" That earns a hearty laugh from Scarlett that she quickly tries to cover up. "But maybe once the little man over here pops out, that'll change." He points to Scarlett's stomach.

"Anything new with you? I know you just got done filming the Doctor Strange sequel." Do I tell Scar and Colin about the HBO Show or not? Fuck it. "Yeah, I'm going to be in an upcoming HBO Show!" "House of Dragons?!" Scarlett immediately jumps the gun. I shake my head at her before receiving a pity look. "I'm still pissed you couldn't do Game of Thrones because of Marvel." I shrug because it's in the past, and I still watched and loved the show. "I didn't know you were almost in that." Colin looks at me, amazed. "Yeah, add it to the pile of things I was almost in." I laugh to move the conversation along. "So what's the show going to be about?"

"Apparently, it's based on a true story, and I don't know all the details yet, but I get to play an ax murder," I say with excitement. "Holy sh- shoot!" Good save, Scar. "That sounds crazy! I can't wait to see you kill it." Scarlett winks at me and laughs at her own joke.

"Wow, didn't wait, huh!" My girlfriend speaks up as she enters the room to see everyone stuffing their face.

"Rose didn't wait!" I exclaim. "Rose is a child," Y/N says into my ear as she sits down next to me. I see she turned her phone off? "How's your mom?" Y/N looks at me and then at the other people in the room who don't see it. "She's good. She's happy I called." Y/N smiles at me, but she has something in her eyes. "She's seeing Davey today." I place a hand on her back before nodding along. "We don't have to-" Y/N places a hand on my thigh and give sit a squeeze. "Thank you." Y/N begins digging into her food, and I smile because I made the special waffles I made the first night she stayed with me. I look up to see Scarlett already looking at me with a big smile.

The rest of breakfast goes on with some small talk here and there, and by the end of it, everyone is full. Colin talked about how much he loved WandaVision while Scarlett teased Y/N about her love for Black Widow. I made sure remind the other adults know that Y/N has only seen up to the first Avengers, which made Scarlett comment about how much she'll love Natasha in the Winter Solider.

Without meaning to, I'm pretty sure I was giving Scarlett, Wanda's death glare because then Y/N was in my ear telling me that I'm hers.

Scarlett noticed and smirked at our interaction and made sure to ease up on the flirtatious teasing. But this won't stop her forever.

After breakfast was cleaned up and put away, Rose brought down her coloring book and colored pencils for Y/N and her to continue drawing. About half an hour later, Y/N and Rose made some fridge-worthy art. Now I know Colin isn't ushering us out the door, but I know he has something planned for Scarlett's Mother's Day, so we shouldn't intrude.

Scarlett and I had to convince a pouting Rose that Y/N and I would be back. Y/N made a pinky promise to Rose that someday they could have a day together. Rose called it Y/N Day! That seemed to make everyone happy, so we soon gathered everything we needed, including phones, water, and clothes from last night, before making our way to the waiting car.

Y/N POV

How has today already been so eventful? It's not even noon. Is this what having kids is like? Is this what being married is like?

I look to my Liz, who has her phone in her hands, furiously typing away.

"What's up?"

Liz briefly looks over at me.

"Liz?" I ask, more concerned. She clears her throat and looks back at me. "Sorry, I'm catching up on a lot. The HBO show. Some WandaVision stuff. My team is asking me to do Hot Ones next month. Sorry. Let me do this stuff, and then I'm all yours!" She gives me a proud smile before it disappears as she dives back into her phone.

I just nod along. Sometimes I forget how much work her job can be. It's not just filming a thing, and then you're done. There's so much behind-the-scenes stuff. Liz has done a great job at trying to keep it out of view from me. But she shouldn't have to. I'm a big girl. I mean, yeah, I could sit back and look pretty while she handles things, but I don't want her to look or be as stressed as she seems right now.

"Is there anything I can help with?" 

"Not at the moment. But thank you." Liz says without looking up from her phone. Maybe asking her while she's in the middle of working isn't the best time.

Well, while she's on her, I guess I can be on mine.

I turn on my phone, surprised to find it still working. The battery life says it's at 17%, but who knows how much time that actually means-

Wait.

Who are all of these people?

On my lock screen are hundreds upon hundreds of Instagram notifications. Some things from Twitter. Was my name trending? I have dozens of texts from Sam, Max, and MK. Tons of missed calls and texts from unknown numbers. All of this has been in the past hour.

I'm unsure what's happening, but I can feel the blood leaving my body. I feel my throat closing, but at the same time but stomach is telling me I'm going to throw up.

I turn to Liz, and she's on the phone. When did this happen? How long has she been talking?

"Liz?"

She doesn't hear me.

"Liz?" I say louder.

She turns to me, and I see the gloss over her green eyes. She bites the bottom of her lip before she ends the phone call with whoever it was.

"Lizard, please, what's going on?" Liz swallows and puts her head in her hands. She's mumbling, and I quite make out exactly what's she saying. I take off my seat belt and put my butt in the middle seat.

Liz lift her head to me. She's on the verge of breaking. She places her shaky hands into my own.

"Liz?"

Liz's phone starts going off. When did she turn the ringer back on?

"Liz."

The phone keeps ringing.

The more it rings, the smaller this car feels. I look at Liz, and she is so close but so far.

Liz closes her eyes, squeezing a tear down her cheek.

"I- I'm... we've been outed..."

"Oka-"

"They-"

Liz stops.

All of her stops. Her breathing. Her shakiness. Her.

And then she opens her fucking beautiful green eyes.

"We can't be together."

A/N: Hey, besties... So what a good chapter, right? Scarlett and Rose! Colin isn't an asshole. All in all, some good stuff. Nothing stressful or full of drama, right guys?

Part 21

[frenchroyalseb]

Sebastian Self Para || Plus Ones

Sebastian was... not disappointed (well at least, not that he would admit out loud), but mildly put out. He'd got a message from the event organisers him and Patrick had been dealing with for their latest event, asking if he could confirm if he was bringing a plus one as Patrick had. He'd just assumed neither would be bringing a plus one and that they'd end up hooking up in a back room at some point during the night.

It had somewhat become just something they did now, whenever they happened to be in the same place (which wasn't that often really, with most of the work done for the foundation not needing to be done in person now). It had become convenient, and it was fun.

So now here Sebastian was, having to find his own plus one to an event because he couldn't let Patrick show up with a plus one and not him. So he signed, pulling out his phone and scrolling through a few people, debating who to call.

"I need a favour," he said, when the other man answered the call.

"Hello to you too, Bas."

"Yeah, yeah. Hello Jeff. I need you to be my date to a gala."

"I'm sorry?"

"You look good in a tux."

"I know that, what I don't know is why you want me to be your date somewhere. Is this your way of asking me out?"

Sebastian let out a snort of laughter, "no. But I can't go to the gala without a plus one and you won't get the wrong idea. But if you want I'll suck your dick as a thank you."

"I'm not gay," Jeff said mildly, though didn't seem offended by Sebastian's proposition.

"Funny. I seem to recall at least three separate occasions when your dick has been in my mouth. What do you call that then?"

"Youthful experimentation. I'm a mature man now."

"Uh-huh. Whatever. Can you please just be my date?"

"What's the gala for anyway?"

"It's for the foundation, the launch of the new initiative. You know how rich people love to splash their money around."

"Okay - but what do you need a plus one for?"

"I can't go alone."

"You've gone alone before."

"Yes but this is ... different."

"How?"

"Patrick has a plus one."

"Ahh."

"Ahh? What do you mean ahh?"

"I mean you're fucking him, so you're jealous and want to try one up him by bringing a date."

"I'm not jealous. I couldn't care less who he's taking to galas, or fucking, or hell, dating."

"Then go alone."

"..."

"See. You're jealous."

"At most, I am annoyed by a potential convenient fuck being removed from my evening. You know what, never mind. I'll ask Ni-"

"Bas, it's fine. I'll be your date. Just send me the details."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I reserve the right to tell you I told you so."

"About what?"

"You'll see."

With that, Jeff hung up, and left Sebastian staring at the phone in confusion. But then he shrugged, texting Jeff the details of the gala.

At least that one was one thing sorted.

[brighteststar707]

Tell me why I see cool socks and immediately think "yes this is Faye"??? And the hyperfixation because somehow you're strong enough to only have ONE constant hyperfixation. Also, got any more knight Luciel HC to share?👀

You're correct on two and a half counts Xela!

I have the COOLEST sock collection and I'm not afraid to brag about it. I have cow print socks, ghost socks, dog socks, penguin socks, you name it. I may be wearing big old boots but under the boots there are always some very cool socks hehe

I definitely don't have the strength of mind for just one hyperfixation at a time, though. This baby can fit so many simultaneous interests you wouldn't believe it. I keep this blog quite mysme-centric, but my brain is always spinning with something or another. At the moment, the things spinning around in my head are:

- Howl's Moving Castle (I'm rereading the book - I will never be normal about it), something about how pathetic and annoying he is is so charming in an 'only in books' way

- my sims 3 legacy (I haven't played with them for months and I MISS my little pixel people) I even brought them up on a date recently after a cocktail too many (and he's still seeing me so it must have worked somehow)

- Saeyoung letting go and going Ape Shit (again, I know, I had hoped that writing it out would have gotten it out of my system but I guess it wasn't enough). Particularly V route Saeyoung where he just loses his mind a little and goes on a self-destructive spree (and what's more, this time the MC isn't his rock but someone who is attached to the person to blame! The drama!)

- Knight Luciel/ loyalty to ones own detriment and twisted love dynamics (It's a wonder I never got into the V/Rika thing).

As for more knight Luciel headcanons, let me think...

He is a very good fighter, not known for his brute strength but for how nimble he is. He is fast and deadly if he has to be. His eyes glimmer beautifully (and dangerously, depending on who you are) from under his helmet and it's something that catches MC of guard the first time they see him with it on.

He loves the horses. Whether they love him back is still up for debate. He always has tasty treats on him to bribe them with though.

As I mentioned yesterday, he has a certain affinity for magic that he discovers by accident. His methods are completely unorthodox but they get the job done so he's happy. His powers are mostly connected to objects and imparting magic onto them as opposed to casting it from his hands. One time he got really angry and people swear they saw sparks coming off of his armour.

And, if the past few paragraphs weren't enough proof in themselves, I am a massive nerd.

These are probably messy but here we go! That's my brain at the moment!

[msdrpreist]

SKY! YOU ARE REBLOGGING JJK STUFF I NEED ALL THE DEATILS RIGHT NOW PLEASE AND THANK YOU

(what do you mean you’re jjk-fandoming am I going to cry???? I’m so excited)

OH MY GOD YES

okay to be fair I've seen up to season 2 ep 5(?) And the only reason I wanted watching was for nanami hahah. But no like I'd always heard it was good but like?!?!?@?@ it is!?!?!?!

So far I'm absolutely in love with nanami, geto, and I'm debating my love for toji hahah although I 200% see why gojo, yuji, and sukuna are talked about the way they are!!

Maki and Mai surprised me with a couple gut punches bc of their sister bond that's just keeps getting pulled apart by actions neither want to stop doing if that makes sense, tragically understandable for why each of them act the way way they do.

Megumi? My heart just aches for him, toji fucked that boy up but he's still doing what's right even of he's just a child!!!

Omg yuuji!?!?! He just wants to help!!!!!! Losing his grandfather, becoming Sukunas host, dying, reserecting, being told he has to be one way or they'll kill him, and he's. Still. So. Happy. To. Help!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm not even up to how kenjaku interacts with geto but seeing him spiral hurts so bad. My love for geto is insane, he just needed more people around him to remind him of the good in the world, to remind him how important his family is, ahhhhhhhhh he makes me so sad to think about man

Nanami has my heart aye! His absolute resolve to protect as many children as possible bc it's what he wish he could have done for haibara, his devotion to keeping yuji a child and not forcing him to grow up, his haphazardly hidden love for gojo even tho he annoys the shit outta him, and just 🫠🫠🫠 I haven't even got up to that scene but his whole presence as he absolutely murders harutu and then bends down to speak eye level with the girls AHHHHHHH spay me

Oh and haibara☹️ it's all I have to say

There's probably more I'm forgetting but I've just woken up hahaha, I need to set aside some time to finish watching so I can do a proper analysis bc my God I'm loving it so far!! What about you? Fave characters, moments? Anything I wanna talk about it!! I've also been spoiled on some big moments so dw haha

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Mildly annoyed at my body.

Probably venting. Mostly complaining. Some medical talk.

I kinda want to get a second shift job, but I just got a raise and starting this month, I will be making really good money. Like, double minimum wage money. I don't think I'll be finding that wage anywhere else with no college degree and only 5 years of office experience...

I want to put more of my books on the shelves, the ones still boxed in the living room and the basement. Go through the comics I probably have no real attachment to, maybe offer them up somewhere. Put the books I keep thinking about that somehow didn't get their boxes marked "FAVE" and thus weren't put upstairs when I moved. They're in the basement. I KNOW I have more books by my favorite author. I've been wanting to reread the ones I haven't unpacked.

But I just ate. I can't go up and down the stairs, let alone carrying 2+ boxes and unpacking them. Not to mention, some of them are practically buried in others' boxes... I can't exert myself by moving them around, either. I might be able to reach the ones by the shoe rack, but I don't remember. I can't stand up and bend over to look.

For my stomach AND my back reasons. Ever since I had the neurology appointment, during which they twisted me in ways that made my mostly-fine back start hurting at a Level of 5/10 Again, and when I said it started hurting they kept twisting and asked if it still hurt. Yes! Fuck yes, it hurt WORSE!

And it still hasn't entirely calmed down. The pain now is worse than it was before the appointment. Even two weeks later (or is it three?). Even with lidocaine patches and muscle relaxers. They want me to start steroid shots. (And do physical therapy again, but I already spent most of my PTO built up this year on Sisu's vet appointment and my teeth. I need to build up more hours for things in April, a concert road trip and taking the day of the solar eclipse off because I absolutely REFUSE to miss the eclipse, when I live conveniently RIGHT in the path of totality! I can't take 4 hours off work every week because the PT only has appointments during my work schedule.)

I need to do at-home physical therapy exercises more often anyways, but I can't lay down (let alone lay on my side for 10 minutes) after eating, and by the time my stomach's done making me uncomfortably aware of the food I've eaten, I need to go to sleep.

And tomorrow, I want to watch some panels at an online convention and go grocery shopping and clean the pet cages and shower. Maybe sweep my room and do dishes. I'm still debating if I want to wake up at 10am for a panel on something I've often wondered about (thanks in large part to the name of a roller coaster at Cedar Point), but that will sacrifice about 4 hours of sleep.

Precious sleep. Which is ALWAYS a struggle working first shift. When I worked 3pm to 11pm, I slept for 9 hours every night, no problem. (I was constantly exhausted for Other reasons, but sleep wasn't the problem.) But working first shift? I have to fight my body tooth, nail, and pharmaceuticals to get it asleep before 11pm. Half the time it doesn't happen. The meds make me sleepy, but won't KEEP me asleep.

I take melatonin, L-theanine, herbal supplements (valerian and lemon balm and passionflower and lavender), magnesium citrate, and an anti-depressant and muscle relaxer, all in the desperate hopes that I MIGHT be able to sleep for 8 hours a night. (I struggle with delayed circadian disorder. It's not insomnia, because I can easily fall asleep and stay asleep if it's within my body's natural circadian rhythm. Sleeping about 1-3am, waking about 10:am to noon.)

It isn't the ADHD meds that keep me awake because, once again, due to my stomach being a Little Bitch^tm, I can only take them when I'm having Really Good Days with my stomach. Which is, at most, about 1 in 5 days. It's rare that I CAN take them 2x a week. Let alone every day.

At the core of it, if I didn't work 40 hours a week and didn't have to ride a bus for an hour each way to and from work and didn't have to wake up at 7am every day, I'd have more time and more sleep to endure and work around my stomach's issue with Being Active After Eating, and work around Needing to Sleep or I feel Dead On My Feet.

....though with the raise, maybe I'll be able to get my temps again, and once I get my license, have the budget to start paying for gas and parking downtown...? I figure that's another $200/month, at least, but even if I break even with what my cashflow is NOW, I'd get about 80 minutes of my life back every day. That actually sounds really nice...

But currently, as it stands, my schedule is perpetually packed and my body is perpetually fighting me on doing Anything Ever. =_= Not to mention, the ADHD making it really hard to overcome that executive dysfunction...

It's just frustrating, wanting to do So Much but needing 2 weeks to recover my social battery after being at a wedding for 5 hours. I can't catch up on sleep when my duplex neighbors are massive inconsiderate assholes who blast music every Saturday morning. I want to wake up a little early to hear a really interesting topic discussion tomorrow, but it comes at the cost of spending the entire next week exhausted from sleep deprivation.

Where's the Quality of Life when the amount of life you can live is so small, you can't fit a lot of Doing Things in it anyways?

Worst of all, I've been too exhausted to write, whether that's roleplaying or fic. I'm lucky if I can come up with 5 words for my Pokemon character to tag on a blog post. I can't come up with New Things Happening very often. I really desperately want to continue some Old RPs with Dove, but my brain is fried mush. It's burnt on the outside and just a gooey mess on the inside. I can't jog it enough to Imagine New Things.

I'm not exactly depressive. I'm having fun at the convention this weekend! I'm glad for the 5 words I can scrouge up on the Pokemon RP blog! I'm eating good food and stealing every minute of personal time I can get! I'm watching Teen Titans and ATLA with my roommates once a week! I only have minor complaints with my actual job duties! It's not All bad.

I'm just frustrated that working 40 hours a week is so fucking much to work around that it's a chore all its own to try fitting my life around it without sacrificing sleep health.

Fuck capitalism.

[magicalyaku]

I spent a week writing up my thoughts about 5 months of books, I'm so done! I want to do this, yes, doesn't make it any easier. For next year, I need to think about how I'd like to continue, but for now, here's what I read in December!

Prince and Bodyguard (Perilous Courts 4) (Tavia Lark): I like the first three books of the series, but I was very reluctant to continue reading because a different family of princes. And dragons. I don't particularly like dragons. Guess what, there's like three seconds of dragon inside this one and instead much more big talking cat (approved). Also it was less adventurous then the other volumes and more character focused, I'd say, with an attempt at political intrique that was in its complexity just right for this type of story in my opinion.

A Ferry of Bones & Gold (Soulbound 1) (Hailey Turner): I debated a long time with myself if and how I want to read this. It's seven volumes after all, quite a commitment. Well, am I glad about my decision or what. I had a grand time with this book. There's so much action omg. At the 50% mark I was like "What?! This is only half of it?? What else are you going to do?!" Because we deal with gods and immortals right from the start where other series will start small and keep those for the final! It's wild. It also often references events from the past which I think adds to the tension better than starting at the very beginning of protagonist Patrick's story and going in chronological order. Figuring out how things in the past add up is always its own little treat. I love how cranky and unapologetic Patrick is and how his relationship with Jono develops. It's a fun book and I'm looking forward to reading the next volumes! (I just need to take a bit of cooldown time before starting the second one because of its intensity.) Btw, I tried hard to remember if I've read something of similar action and insanity level before and the only thing that came up was The Tarot Sequence. :')

The Eidolon (The Magnus Archives 1) (K.D. Edwards): Did I just say The Tarot Sequence? Well, here it is. I actually bought this book as the Rainbow Crate Hardcover edition (my first and until volume 2 comes out probably my only one. (Shipping and customs to Europe are not fun)). Very pretty. The story is fun as usual, even though I had a little trouble remembering all of what happened in The Hourglass Throne to which this is set parallel to. Max and Quinn are so nice to read together. And even without remembering some of the details of the main story, it still felt familar enough to get it, if you know what I mean? All the references to the adults are also fun (What would Rune do? Brand taught me this! Rune always makes it sound so hard when it really isn't *eyeroll"). Also, unexpected ace rep, we like to see it. :)

This Fatal Kiss (Alicia Jasinska): I think I skimmed a mixed review of this, so I was a little careful and borrowed it from the library first instead of outright buying it. And guess what? I loved it! I had a lot of fun with this. I have a difficult relationship with female protagonists in my books (YA fantasy really sullied them for me), but Gisela here is just the kind of girl I can enjoy reading. A little annoying, a little cute, definitely not soppy. It helps that the male lead, Kazik, is also of the easily embarassed type, so basically two of my favorite character types together. :D I also like reading stories with Slavic folklore demons/spirits. The friendship between the girls is great (that one fight! Yes!), the way the Water Goblin cares for them (without being creepy!). It's quite wholesome. And while the stakes are only high for the specific characters, the tension is exquisite~ Everyone tries to keep their secret and you know when it comes out, there will be so much delicious drama. My only gripe is that that one specific secret is reserved for the sequel. (I thought it would be a oneshot D:). Interestingly, one review I read complained about the unclear historical time, as the setting seems a little dated but it still has busses and cameras. But it didn't disturb me at all. It felt quite natural and fitting in its way to talk about glasses and tourists, radiators, university, fashion and how it hated on tourists on bikes (loved it. Finally someone who gets me). I remember reading A Far Wilder Magic and actually being disturbed by the time of the setting, because that one felt old-fashioned but then they had condoms… (a propos, no smutty scenes in this one). I'm looking forward to the sequel and how their little three-way-romance will turn out! (And another pretty cover please!!)

Die Silbernen Schlangen (The Silvered Serpents), Die Bronzenen Bestien (The Bronzed Beasts) (The Gilded Wolves 2+3) (Roshani Chokshi): It's been 3 full years since I read the first volume. I loved it at the time but it was right at the start of my reading marathon so I got distracted with other books and didn't continue with volume 2. As a result, my memory of it was nearly non-existent … I remembered the characters at least. They made it hard, however, to like them at the start of volume 2, because they were all grieving and basically at their worst. Things got better as the plot progressed and people began to move. And then, volume 3 started in a similar fashion. After all, we have four to five characters whose feelings and thoughts need to be explored which makes it real slow sometimes. But I like the history, the logic displayed to solve the puzzles, the action sequences, the team. I think you can feel how thoughtful the story is put together, with all the threads of grander topics woven in, while still being accessible. And thinking about it, I read a lot of oneshots these days, so it was nice to read an epic story not afraid to go big (and have a really long ending sequence spanning years). It took me a while to get back into the story, but yeah, it was worth it.

How to be Ace (Rebecca Burgess): This is a graphic novel and memoir. My second of each this year, yay! I like this one because I dare say it's a common growing up story for aspec people (even if it's not at all like mine) and with its graphic novel format it's really easy and quick to read. Like, if you're aspec and want to read another person's story or if you're not, but want to know more, you can't go wrong with this one.

And that's it for 2024 for good! Keep an eye out for my summary post with the Award Ceremony for Best Books (and more) and I'll also post art again, promise. <3

[the-firebird69]

Trump Plans to Skip GOP Debate for Interview With Tucker Carlson - The New York Times

There's a few things going on but this guy is a nuisance an a****** and mean and he won't stop it's Non-Stop he did it tonight and he is still not stopped and he needs to go I'm putting another report in I want people to back me up when we speak to Olympus and we're going to speak in the meeting and we're going to be on a panel he says and we want people to interview us on the panel and try and figure out what we're trying to say if it's gotten to that he says and I get this you're not listening to what we're saying you think they're valuable and our son keeps telling you I am riding over them with power annoying the interesting is unnecessary I am countering his stuff going by him sometimes right over him and they looked at it and decided to take a look at it again and he found us Juliet they said they're motivated you he said he's trying to use that to go after us and he's a horrible loses and they're almost gone and we can't figure it out so they say this it means juveniles and said no we're not been running this entire realm the whole time and you're not listening to me is it something wrong so we had another meeting and he sat down and said I'm going to have a panel and you're going to interview us and ask us what it is cuz a lot of us are very close working in trying to stop them they're anti-society they're anarchists they don't hold anything together and they don't have concrete plans and they used as a threat everywhere and he said robots would otherwise should we know the answer that and they start blabbing a little then they said we sound conceded and said yes we do you feel the correct about this that people who are a nuisance and total assholes and get everybody into a rage including us our people that should be eliminated whether the wild cards or other maybe hiding people or possibly causing damage somewhere and so on and it went on and on no but they agreed to do the panel so setting it up and they're thinking about it what they're saying is where missing stuff possibly hurting people and they wanted to know more so he said we should wait till the panel cuz you always do that then it's hand packing all day long we don't have time to be henpacked about this topic ever again it takes time and you're doing it to us it's a curiosity why it keeps happening why wouldn't you know they're stupid they're dangerous they're liability so Got to it today. It is creamy filler and we're not using it for creamy filler and he goes oh yeah so we start to use it no I said pretty soon it won't be here and we won't be able to sit here and do nothing when it's most important and that caught their attention and we're moving out and getting it done and we got approval for the Giants and we had a panel less than 20 minutes and this is ridiculous for asking the same questions so he's so what you said was write it down on a shorthand form to your right and keep it with you it said no way and so they're doing it and it started to think again and it's much better the answers we have

Thor Freya

We're going to show you what we're doing

Hera Zues

Olympus

[burdenedreverence]

She talks a lot.

To some it would prove a daunting thing. Annoying even. To Hayden it was simply another facet of Yoruichi, simply the nature of the beast. You didn't step into the cage with a tiger with the expectation everything would be fine. You knew the dangers and the risks, the reward might not even be worth it. Unless you where one of those masochists or thrill-seekers.

Hayden was arguably both, just not in this context.

He hated being verbose. Speaking too much. His thought process was not as focused as some so he ran the risk of rambling. He preferred to be a silent worker, to do what needed to be done. Take the hits like she said, and strike when the moment was best. And yet, he found himself in opposition to her right now.

Surely, she did not believe him the same man he was ten years ago?

He was a soldier. A man of war. A student of the art, and virtuoso in all manners of killing men. It was a skill set he cultivated and took pride in. But Desmond Hayden was on the cusp of becoming something more. No that wasn't quite right. He was something more.

"Rage itself, does not carry the day." He bites bark, as if planting his flag in the ground.

Come and take it. Yes, it was going to be that type of struggle.

One of his hands lower off his Zanpakutou, his previous posture which was that of a fighter relaxing. His hands go to make the unmistakable motion of sheathing his weapon, a silent indication he was indeed not going to attack her. That time had passed the moment she cast aside her own.

He could not say if this action was lowering himself to her level, or raising himself to her. But whatever the semantics it brought them to even footing. Unarmed, engaged in a different confrontation. The bruises and marks on his body still visible contrasted to her flawless body.

He walks towards her slowly. One foot in front of the other, crushing rocks and dirt beneath his stride as he speaks.

"But you take that rage, you bottle it. You distill it. You get something powerful, something that can turn feeble men into monsters. Topple nations. I think you know this. Bushidou or not, it works. But that ain't what this is about."

By the time he nears the end of the sentence he stands in front of her. His face is tensed, anger is still palpable. What is anger really? What is rage? That simmering feeling that boils beneath one's skin, the destructive feeling that settles in your gut. The need to inflict harm on those around you. It is that influx of strength, of power, to change things violently. Without regard for the wounds left behind.

Even now, he is struggling to bring it down. Yoruichi might have been the catalyst to spark it, but she isn't the fuel. The bottomless pit of energy that sustains his rage, it's deeper than being knocked around in a fight. Double edge blade that it is.

"We're at a strange place right now, Yoruichi. Because I should do what you say. Every sensible part of me, is telling me I should take that knee. Because I am a soldier. And I follow the lawful orders given to me."

He has never concerned himself with the why of what she does. Force of nature that he knows she is. Normally he either agrees with her, or doesn't. They have no need to have debates and arguments, for both of them are two willful to be changed. So he has to wonder why they are now at this point. He thinks he knows, internally. He thinks he knows why he needs to speak today.

"But being a soldier, requires me to be a violent man. And I've been trying to change, you see. I've been trying to not be that man anymore, because he scares me. But I miss him. I miss him so much."

Has she felt these emotions before? Looking at her now, he thinks she has. Nothing to substantiate this. Just a gut feeling.

"Truthfully. I think I'm just tired of taking orders from people. I think if I have to be that violent man, I want to do it on my own accord..."

"BECAUSE I CAN'T BE A PEACEFUL MAN! I AM NOT MADE FOR IT!"

His temper flares, a vein explodes on his neck as he roars at her.

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I FIGHT!? BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY GOD DAMNED THING WORTH DOING! BECAUSE IF I DON'T FIGHT, THEN DID I EVEN EXIST!?"

This feels good, cathartic.

"I have no titles, I have no lands, I have no history. I have no family name or pedigree, no legacy. All I have is because I fought, I stood at the front of gunfire! I died for a country not my own! I fight because it makes me feel alive! It gives me purpose!"

All the causes he ever fought for, that he killed for, he did so because he believed them just and righteous. He lifts his hands up, displaying his palms to her.

"Everything IS different once I'm mad. You want the truth, you want all the bullshit stripped away, this is what I am. Discipline isn't merely just regimentation for me."

He struggles with the next words. Because he cannot form them clearly to convey his intent.

If he gave into the rage, he'd be stronger. So much stronger. Feeding that demon, riding that lightning so to speak. But he becomes less him, less Hayden. Less human.

He is a visored. And although he does not speak of his condition, it is because he likes to not think of it. Because his Hollow is not merely something he can tame. The rage comes from somewhere.