#yeah. thats the word im going to use there
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Taking the "Fix" outta the equation what I am gonna say is deliberately a scoffer, and generally coined as Unhelpful; because the ones saying it are often misunderstanding parents or masses of "Arm-Chair Girlies" who think being condesending about therapy and medications is all anyone ever needs.
But, sincerely start trying to go outside. Put time out of your day to find a specific spot that you feel most comfortable and make it a habit. Make it a time that you can look forward to! Walking the dog, Biking, exercise, reading, gardening, bird watching. If you disabled and just find it hard for whatever reason- maybe open a window or sit in the backyard, porch. Open your bedroom curtains for all thats heavens.
And always, ALWAYS get dressed before you head out. I think its best to put on an outfit you really like and can be comfortable in! Im not saying you HAVE to get dressed to the nines, but I am saying dont go out looking like a bum. I dont care what your top shirt is or make up or any o' that, but you gotta brush your hair and put on some sorta pants. This also helps you get into the mindset of "I am going somewhere". I even use this trick for when I am not even going anywhere! I just put on my clothes and shoes and It immediately makes me concious and alert and even start thinking "hm well I am dressed i COULD go outside..."
In the words of Jake the dog;
"Yeah? Dont you always call sweatpants 'give up on life' pants Jake?"
"I do because peeps need to respect themselves when they leave the house, even if its just for ice cream or TP or whatevs."
#Long post#I apologize if this yet again feels like a 'uhg seriously' but as someone with depression. yes i am.#it wont fix you. but i promise changes like these get you going places
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Rubies - Encounter
the thing i just said i would write >:)
set later into rubies
(Content: living weapon whumpee, whumpee-turned-caretaker?, bad caretaker, multiple whumpees, verbal abuse, conditioning, blood, past trauma, comfort)
LEVON: I wish you’d told me you were tagging along! I would have given you a heads-up. DELTA: thats okay DELTA: it doesnt really bother me DELTA: its nothing i havent seen before LEVON: Yes I’m sure. LEVON: Nevertheless I thought you would appreciate the warning. DELTA: eh
LEVON: I notice this is becoming a bit of a pet project of yours. LEVON: I would have passed more information along to you if I’d known you were interested. In fact I considered doing so in the beginning. LEVON: I was worried you would feel tokenized by it. LEVON: Also to be perfectly honest with you I would prefer that you stay out of imperial territory. DELTA: i think i actually would have felt a bit tokenized by it in the beginning tbh that was probably a good call DELTA: its different if im doing it on my own time DELTA: im sorry i hope you dont think im ignoring your orders by coming here LEVON: They weren’t formal orders. DELTA: i know but still i dont want to come off as disrespectful for it DELTA: i do value your advice i dont mean to blow you off LEVON: Delta, it’s fine. DELTA: okay cool LEVON: It’s going well, then? DELTA: yeah there was only one of them and no one was expecting her to be here clearly DELTA: im not with her right now though im with kitty we are in the server room LEVON: Okay. I’m getting word that there are a few patrollers already orbiting close by, so I’d suggest you wrap it up quick. DELTA: yeah we are finishing up now LEVON: Be careful. DELTA: yessir LEVON: Goodbye. DELTA: bye captain
Kitty looped up another loose cable, one more fire hazard. Delta slipped the phone back into the pocket of his pants. His other hand extended to her to help her up to her feet.
From below, another loud crash.
“Sounds like it’s working.” Kitty’s eyes lit up.
They walk down the bloodstained steps. Most of the place had already been cleared out by the time they arrived. The two of them are almost never at any active sight. Third wave, maybe second wave, if anything. Kitty was IT. Delta did a little bit of everything now, but was too valuable as a psychic to ever endanger with capture.
He was only the second psychic to enter the manor. The first was downstairs, doing everything she could to destroy what was around her. As they descended back to the first floor, they saw the mess she had made of things.
“Get away,” she said, “Get away. Get away.”
The silver collar glistened around her neck. The same light shone just by her eyes, reflected from the tears that were forming there.
Infantry was the one to deal with her — they were being surprisingly gentle about it.
“Easy. Easy, I know you’re scared,” a sniper of all people promised her, both hands raised in a placating surrender. “Let’s all slow down. We won’t hurt you.”
“No!” she shouted back. She was crying in earnest now.
“We’re going to get you help, okay? But we need to go now.”
“I don’t want to go! I can’t!”
In that exact instant, Delta noticed that her collar was broken in places. It was malfunctioning. Her powers were slipping through the cracks.
“Get away from me!” Her voice was shrill, pitched with panic. “Stay back or I’ll - I’ll-“
As she said it, a little halo of crystals was forming in a blaze right by her head. It was a crown of glass. In the space above her, the shards appeared out of thin air.
Kitty stepped forwardly slightly. It did something to him then, to hear her slip back into sweetness. The words had the same gentle tone that she’d used for him when they’d first dredged him up out of the water. When he was scared.
“It’s okay,” she promised. “You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. We want to help, okay? Just wanna help.”
“Leave me alone!” the girl yelled back. In the same instant, her right hand cut an arc through the air.
The glass flew like shrapnel. They were small pieces, but hard and razor sharp. She managed to pierce quite a few of them. But what Delta saw most precisely was the shard that flew only inches from Kitty’s face. Just barely missing her.
It was mostly adrenaline that moved him then; his heart was beating too quickly for him to make sense of it. But in the next second, he’d zeroed in on the psychic.
The pulse knocked her back into the wall. It didn’t hurt — he knew exactly how to make it hurt and he didn’t — but it had shocked her. He caught her wrist, pinning it there. The hands were conduits. Though it was still possible to use their powers without moving an inch, the immobility gave the impression of helplessness. That’d be enough for now.
“Stop.”
She went still, but there was tension rigged in every inch of her body.
“You do not use your powers without permission.” His voice was low, more venomous than he meant it to be. “That is the first thing they teach you and there is no excuse for having forgotten it.”
She shrank away from that. They were sensitive to scolding — every single one of them.
“Sorry,” she whispered. She flexed her fingers where they were held. Little shards of glass were still raining softly from the ceiling.
“Listen to me. We are leaving. It doesn’t matter if you want to or not. You’re not going to fight them. And you’re going to do as they ask. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You do? You’re going to behave yourself? Because you can just as easily leave here in chains if you don’t.”
“Yes, sir,” she swallowed. She refused to look at him.
It was an acceptable surrender. He released her wrist, but not before wrenching it in the same direction that the others were waiting. He pointed.
“Go.”
She went obediently. One of the medics hovered their hands by her shoulder, not quite touching, but guiding her over to the exit.
There were little indentations in her skin where his claws had been.
He’d cowed her. Delta sat there for a second, alight in the afterglow of cruelty. It hadn’t felt good, but alarmingly enough, it had felt natural. Maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d learned from the best, after all.
The thought made him sick.
Kitty was staring at him. A couple of them were. He knew before he even turned around.
Sorry you had to see that, he almost said. But that seemed a bit inadequate, all things considered. He said nothing instead. Already, he felt a blush rising to his cheeks.
He moved to her, side-stepping carefully around the littered glass. Kitty still looped her arm in through his own. She didn’t hate him for it, which would have been about the worst thing he could imagine.
“That was kinda fucked up,” she whispered to him as soon as they’d climbed onto the carrier.
“Fucked up of me?” he asked.
“Yeah, a little fucked up of you!”
Delta nodded. He’d assumed that was what she meant.
“She’ll be fine,” he exhaled. “Believe me, she’s more than used to it.”
“They really talked to you like that?” Kitty frowned.
Ungrateful. Disrespectful. Brat. Don’t you ever-
Delta bit his lip, nodding. Used to it. He traced the skin around his collar with the tips of his fingers.
“I don’t care if she hates me,” he decided. “As long as she’s out. Of all the things she has to get over, she’ll barely remember this one.”
Something about that didn’t sit right, though.
~
Worse than cruelty was unpredictability. He worried about playing the same games that Simon had — pulling rank one second and coddling the next. It was a mean thing to do. He thought it’d be better if he just never saw her again. The ones looking out for her now could teach her in their own time. He wouldn’t further disrupt their signals.
This resolution, once he came to it, barely lasted the length of an hour.
“Can I see her?” he peeked into the quarters where they kept her.
The girl sat idly on the edge of the bed, both hands folded in her lap just the way she’d been trained to. Her hair had come undone — and now furled into spirals at the base of her neck. She’d gone dead-eyed. That was exactly how they wanted them.
She still startled when he entered.
“Sorry,” she said without hesitation, with no conscious effort. “I’m sorry, sir.”
He used to think he was good at apologizing, after a lifetime spent groveling for forgiveness. It had been such a difficult day when he first realized that that wasn’t what anyone wanted from him anymore.
“Easy. Hey.” He raised both hands up slightly in surrender. “Not gonna hurt you. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re okay.”
The look she gave him in return suggested she did not — could not — believe him. Fair. She was less than one day out, after all. He didn’t even bother to correct her on the honorific. If she was anything like him, it would take years to undo the habit.
Her chest rose and fell without her eyes ever leaving him, like an animal backed into a corner. He moved slowly for her sake, lowering himself until he sat cross-legged on the Persian carpet.
He thought he was good at apologies once, before he knew what they were supposed to be. By now, he was good in earnest. He’d been a fast learner all his life — and pride was something he’d never been afforded.
“I’m sorry for speaking to you like that. It won’t happen again. No one here will ever speak to you like that. I only did it because we were short on time and we wanted to get you somewhere safe. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
His hands moved nervously against his sleeves. He almost stopped them, before remembering he didn’t have to. When he looked up, she was still staring unblinking. Her jaw has loosened a bit.
No one had apologized to her in a very long time. She had no script to follow for it. So when she said something completely unrelated, it came as no real surprise:
“What are you going to do with me, sir?”
There was something like betrayal in her voice. That hurt most of all.
“You’re like me,” she realized.
For some reason, this almost embarrassed him. In Galatea, his abilities are mostly rumors. Even the ones who knew for certain still assumed he was low-level. There were only a handful who knew the full extent of it. But for the most part, psychics recognized their own.
“I came the same way,” he said softly. “This was a rescue. You haven’t been stolen. It’s okay if you don’t believe that right now. But you’re free. Only rule is that you can’t hurt anyone while you’re here — everyone follows that one, not just you.”
“I wouldn’t-“ she said hurriedly. “I wouldn’t, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, sir. Please.”
“It’s okay. You’re not going to be punished for it,” he said. “I’m not mad at you. No one is.”
Just scared, for a second. Scared of her, just like they’d been of him. The fear is what drove people crazy, what made them decide it was right to keep them in chains all his life. She was scared out of her mind, too. But no one ever cared about that.
“You’re safe,” he promised. “I know it doesn’t feel like it. I didn’t feel like it as first either — and I know I just made you feel unsafe. But it won’t happen again. No one will ever treat you like that again.”
“…Yes, sir,” she agreed, looking down at her own shoes.
It wasn’t sinking in all the way. He didn’t sigh, even though he wanted to. He couldn’t believe how patient Kitty and Apollo had been with him in those early days. He’d never be grateful enough. He’d never be good like them, not really. All he could do was try.
“Tell them if you need anything,” he suggested. “It’s not a trick question. They’ll get it for you if they can. And they won’t punish you for asking.”
“Yes, sir.” She nodded.
Poor kid, he thought dimly. The thought surprised him. He’d never thought anything of it before, when he’d been in her position. It all just felt normal. The way he was meant to behave. It was only after years of living outside of it that he could see it for what it was.
He stood up wearily from his spot on the ground. She flinched a bit as he did, but he knew he shouldn’t take it personally.
“You can sleep too, by the way,” he reminded her. “You don’t need to ask permission.”
“Thank you, sir,” she said. There was actual relief in her voice when she answered that time. She’d been waiting to hear it.
~
The first thing he did after closing the door was go to find Kitty. She’d been curled up by the bay windows when he finally spotted her. He climbed onto the cushion next to her. She was peering at him from over the edge of her laptop screen.
“All good?” she purred.
“She’ll be fine.” He nodded. As fine as any of them could be. He really did think that his own cruelty towards her would only scrape the surface of all that she would have to recover from. But that wasn’t an excuse.
“Thank you for being kind to me,” he said softly. It sounded almost childlike now. But it was far from the first time he’d said it. “Even when I was being difficult. You were always nice.”
“You were never difficult!” Kitty gasped. “What are you talking about? You’re my favorite.”
That alone would’ve been enough to make him cry last year. Even now, he got close.
~~~
tags:
@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump
@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire
@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @floral-comet-whump @littlebookworm69
@lordcatwich @human-123-person @paperprinxe @whomeidontknowthem @chiswhumpcorner
@bacillusinfection @ichortwine @whump-queen @lumpywhump
@jumpywhumpywriter @sir-fenris
#whump#whump scenario#whump prompt#whump writing#living weapon whumpee#whump community#whumpee-turned-caretaker#bad caretaker#multiple whumpees#verbal abuse#conditioning#blood#past trauma#comfort#feel like delta being mean needs its own warning omg so jarring#also sorry some of the formatting on the color text is weird idgaf
43 notes
·
View notes
Note
👀👀 i am Looking
omg,, hi kat <33333333
now ok stop me if i get too wild here but. kingdom hearts. a series i happen to enjoy. crazy i know. that but. in au form.
now exactly which one of my aus for this series i am talking about is a great question. so. heres the thing. i like skuld. she is very dear to me. therefore i enjoy the theory that she is subject x. another character i like is ienzo. so i am shoving them forcefully into the same room and letting them bounce off the walls.
in more normal terms: imagine you are like 8 year old ienzo. you are explicitly prohibited from entering the radiant garden castle's prison thing in the basement. you are also however 8 years old and full of childlike and autistic wonder and curiosity. so obviously one night when you are in the middle of sneaking down to the kitchen to get yourself a cup of water and maybe a chocolate if you don't get caught, you decide to check out the basement instead since you are now at no risk of getting caught and stopped. this is your first mistake. your second is following the three voices you can faintly hear after you are thoroughly lost until you find a girl down there in one of the cells next to the others filled with moving, crawling, rustling, breathing darkness. your third is coming back to visit her again the next night.
#asks#vanibear#mutuals <3#ask game#kingdom hearts#i know they cant in this instance cause ienzo's autism swag was too high as a child but i want them to TALK goddamnit#i think it would be. fun :)#yeah. thats the word im going to use there#fun#i just think their dynamic would be oh so silly and its been festering in my brain for like 4 months now#have i written more than 100 words for them. not at all <3
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
617 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yeah! I haven't read any fics focusing on them but I have seen that they exist! And also there's like a five sentence interaction in a fic I read ages ago that lives rent free in my brain. I think about it all the time when I draw Sixty.
#detroit become human#captain allen#rk800 60#yeah yeah the fic is definitely not about them but that little exchange is on repeat#thats the menace to society i need#someone who pulls a technically shes older than me therefore its within my rights to fight back#about an eight year old he has met one (1) time who threw a water balloon at him#granted in the fic there are adjectives used that would be less than sunny but the dialogue i used here is directly from it#so its only fair to link the fic lmao#hello once again saying i was reading fics for this game way before i actually played it so my formed thoughts#are v different than had i played it first ... and honestly im happy with the outcome !#i think i was able to enjoy the game more by realizing the ship i was reading about truly just didnt exist in game at all#and also holy moly the dbh fic writers are really good at writing anxiety and depression im in awe of how they word things#anyway here you go anon thank you for making sure i knew ! as i am constantly not a knower i like being told things i might not know#what if i started drawing for fics ive read what then would people who wrote them appreciate fanart five years later
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is going to sound mean but I mean this in the most sincere and compassionate way I possibly can:
If you see a comment on the internet that is transphobic towards your group and your first assumption is that the person who wrote it is a different kind of transgender and not cis, especially if that comment is completely removed from all context or anonymous, no avatar or username or anything, take that as a sign to log off for a few days or pick up a new hobby.
#spitblaze says things#im tired and the amount of bait going around presented as sincere is neigh on unbearable#like yes obviously there are trans people who are shitheads about other kinds of trans people but PLEASE think for a moment#about the odds of this actually being an Evil Nonbinary Person Who Wants All Binaries Dead vs some bored chud trying to sow discord#why do you assume it was a transmasc who wrote that cropped comment saying that they don't want to give up using a transfem-specific slur#(and no it's not the B one)#why do u assume a transfem wrote that comment about transmasc being a 'cultural void who only produce twee ukelele songs abt bugs'#why are you assuming that the people who hate you are other trans people? why do you assume the worst of your own community?#please dont let online discourse determine how you view other members of your community.#someone not sharing your gender identity does not automatically preclude them thinking of yours as abusive or predatory#and them not sharing yours does not mean they will be abusive or predatory to you either#someone SHARING your gender identity doesnt mean they wont be abusive or predatory#the odds someone with your identity will 'get you' are a lot better and to that end hell yeah make more friends like yourself#if you're doing it because you think it will 'keep you safe' though. uh.#well if they start telling you that you cant trust ppl who dont share their identity its time to start checking the BITE model#but thats neither here nor there.#stop reading the first three sentences of other ppls posts about their own oppression and then getting mad for not including your group#and putting words in their mouth about it also. thats a problem as old as time but yknow. dont be a tar pit
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
i hope this doesn't sound like a silly or weird thing to send you, but i'm autistic and have long thought of nico and a handful of other riordanverse characters as autistic and i love your posts about why nico in particular seems intentionally autistic-coded. but i've been thinking, if rick did intend for any of his characters to be autistic, why wouldn't he say so outside of the text at least? i can't think of a good reason why not, when he goes out of his way to be explicit about so many other characters' various marginalized identities and has confirmed things like reyna being asexual outside of the original text. so it gives me this nagging sort of doubt that maybe rick just made nico come off as so extremely autistic coded by accident, somehow. if it wasn't an accident i do kind of wish he'd say so because there's next to zero explicitly stated autistic representation in, like, any media so it'd be nice to have here even if not strictly necessary. either way though, like i said, i love your posts and i agree with you 100% about autistic nico! some others i like to think are autistic are annabeth and leo.
(Most of this is gonna be kind of a tangential ramble to your point and i apologize in advance just bear with me)
This actually touches upon something I've been meaning to do a write-up on recently, which is: depending on the coding, that is our explicit statement. In most coding, actually, that's kind of the point. (Also something something Death of the Author.)
You may have noticed a recent trend across media of characters saying things directly rather than expressing them in a natural way, and often this includes incredibly stilted dialogue of characters explaining things in very politically correct, wikipedia-esque descriptions and terminology that make absolutely no sense for the characters' personalities or mannerisms. This is born out of the idea that if something is not stated in explicit terms, no amount of evidence below an outright direct exact statement will ever count - if two characters of the same gender have an explicit kiss and wedding on-screen, it doesn't matter because they never said the word "gay," etc etc.
In PJO, prior to more recent books, we get plenty of examples of characters explaining parts of their identities without direct statements. Percy never needs to say in outright terms that he has PTSD from Gabe - and it doesn't make sense that he would! He's 12! He's never been diagnosed for that. He probably doesn't even know what PTSD is really. But we, the audience, know without a doubt he has PTSD, because it is clearly expressed to us. That is coding. Tyson is coded as having down syndrome. Nico is coded as being autistic. It doesn't make sense for Nico to turn to the camera and explain that he's autistic and what that means, because he definitely never got diagnosed for it and probably doesn't know what that means cause the diagnosis literally did not exist when he was growing up - and heck, autism terminology was still kind of getting sorted out back in 2007 when TTC was published, so it's unlikely we could have feasibly gotten any exact terminology wink-wink-nudge-nudges short of something like how Percy outright mentions other students called Tyson the r-slur in Sea of Monsters. And in fact we see that same exact style of coding with Nico later on in the series. Nico never turns to the camera and says word-for-word "I am gay, I am mlm, here's me wearing my exact pride flags" (until TOA/TSATS, which... did the exact thing i mentioned about characters speaking like theyre trying to get a good grade in therapy, or giving a powerpoint presentation). But it is never unclear that HoO is telling us outright that Nico is gay. It's not just hinted at. It's there, in your face. But entirely because no one ever outright says "gay" specifically it's technically still only coding. We know he's gay, we know the characters have trauma/ptsd, etc etc. We don't need it spelled out - that's just kind of condescending. It's like if you said describing a character with "eyes like moss" means they were "green-eye coded."
Nico being autistic-coded isn't hidden. It's not a secret. It's very overt. If you know what autism looks like, well, yeah, there he is. Even if you only know very vague 2007 media presentation of autism, Nico in TTC is easily recognizable enough as autistic because that's the point. Tyson is easily recognizable as being coded as having down syndrome and it's very clearly very intentional! It's just never spoon-fed in exact terms to the reader because it's not necessary! You've already been told the information necessary to tell you what is up with this character, so just plainly going "oh they're [x] in exact terms" is very much telling-not-showing and feels redundant. And while there are places for that kind of thing, most of the time it's very unnecessary. Sometimes coding is subtle, sometimes it's obvious, and yeah there are times where writers code characters unintentionally, but the textual evidence is there, and that's the whole point.
And that's what Death of the Author is about - it doesn't matter what the author intended at the end of the day, because if it's in the text it's in the text. You can look at author intent to try and figure out what that text means, but the text is the text. A Separate Peace is a very classic example - author John Knowles denies there being homosexual subtext, and meanwhile one of the protagonists living in 1942 puts on a pink shirt while saying he doesn't mind of people think of him as gay. What the author says after the fact doesn't matter - if it's there, it's there. So Rick saying anything outside of the books is completely irrelevant. And Rick talks about this a lot - he actively tells people that his statements outside of the books are just his own thoughts, but what's in the books is what's in the books, and if the text supports it then that's all the evidence you need.
Nico specifically is a case where yeah, he's clearly autistic-coded. It's very obvious and very obviously intentional when he's younger, and as the books progress it remains a background trait of his but is still notable (except for when it gets forgotten in TOA/TSATS like everything else, including the adhd/dyslexia, but i digress). It's a clear pattern within the first few books that Rick is intentionally including. It doesn't make sense, especially for the year the book was published, for the reader to be directly told in explicit terminology that Nico is autistic, because the reader is already being told that Nico is autistic.
And yeah, Rick doesn't mention Nico being autistic-coded outside of the text, but he also doesn't mention Tyson being coded as having down syndrome. He also said one time that Percy doesn't have PTSD at all, which is very incorrect starting from book 1. Again, Death of the Author. Whatever Rick says outside of the books does not matter, because he already said it in the books. And there's plenty of other stuff in the books that Rick doesn't touch upon, particularly relating to character identity - did you know Leo is Native? Sammy mentions that the Valdez family is Native in Son of Neptune but we don't get any specifics and then it's like never brought up again anywhere. That happens all the time in the series - and outside of the series - Rick can't possibly address every single point to confirm/deny everything from the books. That's what analysis is for! And that's why my blog exists 👍
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#autistic nico#analysis#ask#Anonymous#long post //#tone indicator just to be sure cause i know i used a lot of italics: this is all non-agressive/not mad i prommy#im just very passionate about this topic (coding & fandom concepts surrounding ''canon'' + death of the author)#also controversial opinion cause i know some people have talked about wanting the use of the r-slur in SoM censored#but i think it should stay because. well. yeah no that was still very commonly used in 2006#trust me i heard it a lot. i was there. in fact it was commonly used after that point. for awhile.#it wasnt until like a bit into the 2010s iirc that campaigns started to go ''hey maybe. dont use that word.''#like that was RECENT#and yeah! these books are not old! TLT is only just coming up on 20 years. thats not super old for a book!#and yeah! that term was considered a-okay terminology to be used in a middle grade book in 2006! which is startling to think now!#but that's also why it's important to not erase that#because otherwise you forget that up until very recently that word was considered Perfectly Acceptable#and in SoM it's even specifically acknowledged to be used in a hurtful way! Percy is actively condemning it!#like. dont put it in the show or whatever. obviously. replace it with a different indication/coding to explain Tyson's struggles#not that i think Disney would put the r-slur in their show. but like. dont erase it from the book??? from 2006??????#i am frightened to see how the show will handle tyson though. its not gonna go well i can feel it in my bones#anyways man i should post that excerpt from A Separate Peace though#just cause that scene has lived in my brain rent-free for years
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good morning.
I think that mashup I put out last night is the best mashup I've ever made.
#im about to make the songs used list for it#but holy shit im listening to it back and yeah#im picking my wording carefully because i dont THINK it tops Smashup#but then again thats 9 minutes and it isnt really a mashup#at least not in the same sense#like the number of details i put into transcendental fever dream are wild#and every time i see someone notice one my heart explodes with joy#like someone in the tags mentioned the 'goddammit' directly after getting rick rolled and i was just like 'yesss YESSSSSS'#anyway ill probably go into all the details at a later date#till then ill just post the songs used#which might help to bring to light some of the bits involved
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
DISCLAIMER: i have my own opinions but mainly i just enjoy stirring up chaos. Tell me in the tags what you all think!!✨
Reblog for sample size etc etc you know it
ps. Yeah thats not a walrus emoji but its the closest i had cmooon cut me some slack guys
pps. bts as in BEHIND THE SCENES dont come @ me talking about BTS the group yall (<-actual mistake i have done. multiple times. yay.)
#polls#ao3#fanfiction#fic#word count#how do i tag thissssss i dont want to tag specific fandoms ahhhhhhhhh#uhmmmmm maybe ill do it anyways ho ho here i go#hp#naruto#mdzs#tgcf#bnha#atla#orv#tbf im tagging orv just cause i think itd be funny to get into a fandom war with kdj over ways of survival lol#hmmmm now that ive thought that i gotta tag alsp#svsss#for the same reason tbh#pidw fanboy shen yuan ftw#oooooooh you know what#lotr#asoiaf#yeah that tracks#i think thats it#cant think of other fandoms with that many super duper long fics that im also into lol#btw i may have not mentioned it until now but i just know that stwwx is with us in spirit. if not in tags. akhsksjsls#if you have no idea what stwwx is well. good for you. you dodged a bullet there lol.#cql#for real tho has anyone ever counted cql as separate from mdzs in the history of ever lol#the art of making polls to poll
33 notes
·
View notes
Note
The TNT broadcast won me over a bit with the post-show Bobby interview 😭 I was so charmed by Bobby when he brought up Hank beating him in his last Winter Classic appearance.
Goalies ways of complimenting each other is always so fun to watch. Such strange little creatures.
Not sure exactly who said “What a stud!” At the end of the interview but whoever said it should understand now why the cats will attempt murder on anyone who gets too close to Bob. How could you not honestly.
i was honestly surprised they got bobby to do a postgame interview with them! i thought they were gonna ask maffhew again considering how much they were going on about his shenanigans the entire time im like theyre absolutely gunning for him for the postgame huh? so imagine my suprise when little ole bobby is sat politely on the bench with his headset on... damn near scared my neighbours from the yell i let out...
but so correct of them they started kitty warmies talking about the winter classic and goalies (lu and hank) they should end it talking to goalies yes!
once again increasingly very obvious when hes answering a normal question (🥺) and when hes answering a question about a goalie (😁) like ohhhhh hes smiling so hard bringing up the 2012 winter classic against hank
That was Army who said, "What a stud!" because of course it was lmao who else on the panel would it have been but mr armdog... it tracks extensively
#ask#army about to say different but corrected to weird instead#and i jokingly went “things that /arent/ microagressions but /feel/ like microagressions”#strange little creachers indeed im so used to the puppydog eyes an entire bobby interview#to see the princess smile so serenely... it fills my soul with peace#please let her talk about goalies always it makes her happy and whatever to make my little princess happy#once again. the tnt panel is so much more lovely without b*z. case in point.#this was a perfect panel... so lovely... so nice... it got bobby to smile... good panel...#also the segement about the reenacting goals with hank is always so fun during intermissions#and i just want to mention hank going “[bobby] is always in attack mode” because that has bounced around in my head#and i never had a good word to describe the bobby scuttle with his stick where he hunkers down and pokes any pucks his way#but thats a way to describe it#i would say very paladin like#but also ill take always in attack mode because yeah lmaooo
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
donna "it was never that far from the surface mate" noble not having a worry in the world leaving 14 and yaz alone in the living room at night to finish their movie while she goes to bed entirely unaware of the tragic lesbian romance of the century that those two concluded about an hour before donna re-met the doctor
#rose having pried into the situation and gotten like a hundred 'it's Complicated's from yaz looking at them like..................#donna meanwhile 'that boy is gay and that girl is a lesbian it's just two homos being homos you know'#rose 'i dont think those are the words you want to use mum'#'what is it offensive?'#'well yeah but thats not what i meant'#in the end donna is right of course she neednt worry#in the end rose is ALSO right of course theres gay drama going down 100%#i just think it's interesting that like. youve got all these different interpretations of the doctor right?#theyre like this whole spectrum of things. theyre the light and every colour is a different doctor but they all exist next to each other#simultaneously#and in this specific setup the way that donna is both right and not#and the way that 14 exists and 13 exists and theyre not the same person but also they are#its very holding two things at once#wait does donna know abt yaz bc of the metacrisis thing? i dont really understand the memory sharing#however if she 'cant remember' bc it's like 'looking into a furnace' im just gonna take that at face value bc it fits my purposes better
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmm thinking about the idea of love songs. i think the idea of what a love song is that we have in our culture is inherently a little bit flawed because we have the idea that any song written about romantic feelings is a love song and im thinking thats not exactly true because there is a difference between "romance" and "love". what i'm saying is not that love is a broader category and applies to things that are not romantic in nature. this is in fact true, but it's not what makes the important distinction here. the true distinction between "romance" and "love" is that romance is a societally defined type of interest in another person, whereas love is, essentially, a promise that you make when you build a relationship.
as such, what i call "love" here might be better defined as "care", as that implies more time and effort, but that's a different suitcase to unpack and largely unimportant to my point here, which is more about the societal conventions of what we call love songs. the point is, relationships can be built with other people, yes, but also animals, places, organizations, ideas, so on and so on, whereas romance requires another person, hence the difference between the ideas of "romance" and "love".
with that in mind, there are two types of songs we in western, english speaking, society call "love songs":
1) songs that are about a person's romantic interest in someone that is either definitively known to be unrequited (existing monogamous relationship, sexuality that doesn't align, etc) or simply not requited (aka romantic interest being unknown); and
2) songs about an existing relationship (keeping in mind my points about relationships not just being with people, but also places, things, etcetera) as is.
(some examples of the latter category: mountaintop by relient k, which defines the relationship in question as non-romantic; or i miss my mum by cavetown, which is - as the title implies - a song about the singer missing their mother.)
now, the thing that makes distinguishing these two difficult is the fact that songs about an existing relationship CAN be about wanting certain aspects of that relationship to change. in these cases, determining that a song is one or the other will hinge either on a) authorial intent or b) whether the song is more about what the singer wants (thereby implying #1) or the lack thereof in that relationship (which would imply #2).
to get back to the subject at hand: the term "love song", as we think of it, is an umbrella term that include both of these two categories, and i think that perhaps it is reductive to do so. with that in mind, i think perhaps it would be more appropriate for "love song" to mean only the latter, whereas the former is a category of its own. WHICH is not to say that the two can't overlap — just that if a song is about a person with whom the singer has no relationship, it cannot be considered a love song due to the fact that it is a song about infatuation, not love.
(another interesting wrinkle this provides is the fact that a song might start out in the first category and, as the writer develops a relationship with a person, might move into the second category as they write more.)
#anyway. just some of my thoughts on this as an aromantic songwriter#ari opinion hour#this goes a good deal to reconcile my constant writing of love songs with the fact that none of them are romantic#which im fine with as long as im keeping them to myself but it DOES feel dishonest when i hide that theyre love songs.#however this did also go some way to convince me that maybe care songs is an alternative that i SHOULD use because it is more applicable to#me than the concept of love which MOST people do not have the same perspective on as i do and having different definitions of the same word#is an important barrier to consider in communication#i will admit i do think im clinging to my care songs being love songs due to my relationship with an organization to which love is very#important as i dont want to go back on my promises to that organization as it IS very important to me#anyway. can you tell ive been reading house of leaves by the fact that this appeared fully fledged in my head in fully academic language#but for real like thinking about it now and even my old love songs like most would probably think to see them that they would go in the#first category and they just. DO NOT. at least not the ones that were written after i was like Yeah im aro again#its interesting the ones i wrote in the brief period where i thought i WASNT aro in like mid hs those i WOULD put in the first category#even though like i do NOT think i was right about it being romantic#but the ones after i was like Yea im aro again are like. Thats definitely the latter#part of it is i did find a voice that was like genuinely Mine and wasnt just writing sort of generic love songs#love songs in the typical usage i mean so they were really more infatuation songs#but like i was still with the last person irl who i wrote these about divorced from like... my aroness because of how much i liked him#and i would still put those in the second category#so part of it is awareness as well#so. yeah. its interesting#i probably should just suck it up and start calling them care songs. even if people dont know what i mean to say that
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think i've talked before about how amazingly normal (and respectful) tesilid is towards Ailette for an OI male lead (ie. despite being utterly obsessed with her for aeons, he would never cross a line with her and would ask for consent), but i think we also need to give Reed credit for being pretty normal and respectful too. with regards to Ailette's consent, anyway. for all that he's a homicidal crazy guy trying to destroy the world.
he asks ailette to join him in the abyss and when she says no he's like aw okay, see you next time then <3 he offers ailette a chair and when she says no he doesn't force her. (tesilid doesn't get rights though). ailette goes i already said no i dont want to join you and he's like wait i can change your mind, and when he runs out of time he goes aww okay, i hope you change your mind next time though, ciao <3
like if it were any other OI ailette would be fighting off a confinement arc right now, but reed is just 😭 he just wants to chill with her.
#s-class heroine spoilers#reed#and thats how you know he's still tesilid#ML who respects consent ☝️#hes so cute#funniest guy ever i love reed#he tramples over the entire world but with ailette hes just like please can you come with me. please please please#like 😭 he ignores everyone's consent except hers#hes so confident that hes stronger... if he really wanted to he would have forced ailette to bend to his will already#but no he just keeps showing up and going PLEAAAASE ailette rodeline!!!!#its especially funny considering that the official TL confirms that he lusts after her#and hes like. okay i have the hots for her. i want her by my side. i am stronger and technically can force her. anyway. PLEASE PLEASE PL#and he does it without using the word 'please' a single time but the contrast between what he COULD choose to do and what he actually does#i think it speaks volumes....#wait wait when you couple this w the fact that in this timeline he promises to do whatever he wants whenever he wants#the fact that he doesnt force ailette to do anything is so crazy#like yeah ailette does have aces up her sleeve but REED DOESNT KNOW THAT...#hes still not using his full strength on purpose and only using enough so that ailette takes him seriously#im going crazy why is he like this#also this is such an excellent way to power scale in a novel#the big boss is actually still as strong as before#hes just going down to your level because he likes you actually and respects consent
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
once again posting a reminder (very gently, when you consider how fucking frustrated i am) that i am anti-kff! there are otherkin terms that people can use and, instead of educating themselves on this, they actively CHOOSE to belittle and bully otherkin folks, all while being a teensy tiny little bit ableist in how they go about it. its not a "erm these people are just minding their business and they're ALSO kin anyway" NO they are NOT. they are, by very fucking definition, either 'hearted or 'link (IF their connection is genuine ANYWAYS). that is NOT. KIN. and its kinda fucking telling if you think a community whose entire existence hinges on deliberate ignorance and harassment of a group is equal to the group theyre harassing and bastardising the terms and experiences of
#am i making ANY FUCKING SENSE#i swear to GOD#"dni antikin (this includes anti-kff) no the FUCK it does NOT#because kff ISNT. KIN#JESUS FUCKING! CHRIST!!!#kff “kins” are LINKTYPES and HEARTTYPES most often (again. if theyre not just being hashtag quirky on the internet)#also please please fuck off if you use the word “k/nn/e” i dont even care if you arent kff just. please go away#im stressed as balls man i dont like having to think about shit that stresses me out and annoys me but here i am! thinking about it!#this isnt directed at anyone btw i just keep seeing “omg this character is one of my biggest kins (kff)” and im so fucking tired of it#its mainly on tiktok anyways so im kinda shouting at air but fuck off#and like even when i see other ACTUAL otherkin/nonhuman/alterhuman folks say “oh yeah i 'kin' this character for fun”#it makes me so aggressively uncomfortable cause just. use 'link' man#use 'click' or 'heart'#stop Doing That cause thats not a fucking kintype and you are contributing to the problem (though minorly compared to other stuff)#theres also this one server wherein people would act and talk about their hearttypes as if they were kintypes despite outright saying -#- THEMSELVES “oh yeah this is a hearttype”#do you know what a fucking hearttype is?#are you stupid?
16 notes
·
View notes