possibly-eli

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@lysergidedaydreams

i wanted to ask you….

/gets down on one knee

can our ocs hang out

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Every time I see one

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Did this happen to anyone else

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So do you stick it in and then take a puff? What are the logistics

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16 days to 2015 and I still think I’m in 2012

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youtube is pulling this bullshit again

praying for the firefox gods to save me once more...

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The problem: you are Michael Bublé, it is 2011 and you would like to make a Christmas album. Your producers want you to sing the classic Christmas song "Santa, Baby," but if you sing it as intended, it's gonna come off as, like, super gay

The proposed solution: you will rewrite the lyrics to the song to imply a platonic friendship between yourself and the man in red, making Santa a real bro who's gonna help you get laid by some hunnies, with cool, masculine gifts like a steel blue convertible, a yacht and tickets to a Canadian hockey game

The reality: the combination of the eroticism of your voice and the inherently sexual vibes of the song means you create a story about a closeted gay guy desperately repressing his desire to - as the kids say - fuck that old man, no homo'ing your way through asking him to trim your tree, promising you'll be such a good boy if he treats you well, and begging him to slide down your chimney

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“Why are you so upset about adult content bans? You don’t even post that stuff. can’t you just look at porn somewhere else?”

Well, you see, I have this small problem where my very existence is considered adult content by a small but very powerful group of people and I actually rather enjoy being able to exist in public without restriction so uhhhh put that in your bong and smoke it kiddo.

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“ough. we should get up and eat food” vs “but being in bed is so comfy :( i dont wanna move”

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okay. which of you motherfuckers taught my vile little homunculus how to put on eyeliner

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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

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ive been awake since 7. its 2 now and i havent gotten out if bed. im not planning on being even slightly useful today