#yeah we had similar stuff going on
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childhood-onset schizophrenia culture is feeling very weirded out that some people have a "before". i've always been like this, although at some points to a lesser degree--always having hallucinations, believing in "weird" but "apparently harmless" things. "true" schizophrenia prodrome started in sixth grade (so far as i know) and i have a lot of other stuff going on now, but there's never been a time in which i've been connected to the real world. where do you draw the line between "normal child imagination" and "atypical experiences"? because for me, that line... never existed.
(it almost certainly didn't help that when my mom heard about my hallucinations and my strong belief in ghosts, she agreed because she also believed in ghosts. but at a certain point there comes to be a difference between "ghosts are real" and "there are creatures beyond mortal ken who are watching me in my sleep, and very few of them are on my side, and very many of them are actively hunting for the right time to kill me, but the few who are on my side protect me so i'm safe" even as an 8/9 year old, yknow?)
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#yeah we had similar stuff going on#our intuition as a kid was very good#so our parents fed us “youre psychic and gifted” stuff#which for a while we fully believed#we're only a little bit spiritual now but looking back we got so delusional#the hallucinations there didnt help either#youre not alone#schizospec culture is#schizospec#schizo spectrum#psychosis#psychotic#actually psychotic#neurodivergent
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰
#the klock keeps ticking#ouran high school host club#i watched ouran when i was 13 and repressed ah the classic experience yes yes#and i always said id rewatch but never did. until now cuz im going through something#im like halfway through and yeah id say theres quite a lot that ages like milk lol#like mostly just the way haruhi is treated is just. bad lol#a good thing is i like how haruhi personally feels about their own gender where they really honestly dont fucking care#which was a big relief cuz similar cases will have the ‘secret girl’ character either be really defensive#or you know. be like a naoto where its actually just the most uncomfortable thing ever#but the problem is the way that tamaki and occasionally the twins are like really obsessed with the girl thing#and constantly want haruhi to take on a feminine role cuz that wouldnt threaten their sexuality as much#tamaki in general is written so fucking weird lol and i do remember being based back then and hating him#and i never liked him with haruhi like im sorry hes just the worst option#hes capable of being funny when hes not being weird but I think he still ends up feeling horribly written#like when hes having his DRAMATIC LOVE INTEREST moments they just feel so horribly out of place#and theyre often times just badly aged tropes also the way haruhi is written in relation to the other members is weird#like i can see why theyd like the other characters but ive not really seen any reasons for them to like tamaki#but then the show will just randomly be like ‘oh yes haruhi thinks tamaki is a lovely person’ and its like. ooookay?#its ass lol and im probably preaching to the choir but like. haruhi is way better with a woman right?#i just know some desperate ass bastards have made some haruhi/renge content and i get it#other than that stuff i dont like i will say i enjoy what exists outside of the weird haruhi stuff#i like the characters and the concept is very funny and the episodes where everyone is normal are charming#and you know i gotta appreciate it for the impact it had on lame ass gay people even if the queer content is messy#ouran was just like. what we had for a long time. or at least was the most popular anime that featured queerness in some positive capacity#but also like. as it goes with this stuff once youve gotten to see better representation#you look back and youre like wow. im so fucking glad we can do better than this dogshit 😩
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small
#ok now that i have typed it out i realized it sounds mean and i want to earnestly say that i am not mocking them i just suck at tone#i do not think its something to be laughed at i just think the whole thing is uh. i wouldnt say tragic but really no one's fault#bcs again. if you live in the mountains where the main city is hard to reach bcs of poor road conditions#which leads to isolation and also extreme stigma against the village folk *of course* the village#will become more secluded and incestuous marriages will happen (aside from the obv economical factor#that a pre industrial reality would entrail)#its just. fascinating on a sociological and genetical level. esp since by when the roads were functional#and the village folk stigma had already gone away the whole 'we stay here we stay together we are better than anyone bcs they are envious#of us and we will continue inbreeding and any kids with severe disabilities born from it are actually Blessed because they are born from us#has already taken so much root it is now unlikely to be eradicated . the nature of italian villages is that every once in a while#someone reinvents blood purity and eugenetics lmao#anyways this whole incest thing is also the reason why i get frustrated about those books that have#the main characters go into small bigoted villages and either finding peace there or be horrified by its conservatives ideas#while never digging on the *why*. like yeah all this 'what happens in the village stays in the village and everyone else is an enemy'#but they never dig into why that mentality was born to begin with and how incest there#actively helps this mentality to continue on like you legit still have grandmas telling you to marry ur cousin#anw. i dont know what i was going for w this rant. it originated from knowing that my aunt turned local saint#was actually schizophrenic and was prone to paranoid attacks and mental breakdowns similar to mine#fun stuff!
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thought i had ONE homework assignment due today but it turns out i have TWOOOOO FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE
#zipmode talks#I. think? we don't have any class on moday though. IIRC. Which is nice.#ughhhh its just more writing than i thought it was going to be BUT!!! i might already have some stuff prewritten#also we have to do that stupid fucking “what are five words you didn't know the definition of in the reading” thing.#i hateeee assignments like that because i am verbose as fuck theres never that many words I don't understand#also one of the response forum things we did earlier this week there was another response that was worded differently but-#had a similar structure to my response AND it was submitted earlier and im scared people are gonna think im a copycat#but i swear on my life i didnt even glimpse at other people's responses until i was done on my own!!!! its just crazy coincidence!!!!!#so anyways yeah thats how im doing right now
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woh. finally got a good chunk of the way into ponniyin selvan and maybe it's just my translation but theres a little explanation section at the end of every chapter to help with some tamil words....but fr they explain maybe 1 out of every 5 bits that would be ILLEGIBLE to anyone who doesnt have a good handle on specifically south indian hindu myth and tamil nadu history. im doing ok language wise 👍🏾 like its been a few years since i was really in that world but if im struggling idk how non brown ppl would manage. even little things, poetics, word games....kuruvaikoothu scene was interesting though
#there was a line like 'wow youre a chanakya among men' and i was like???? ur just not gonna translate that?????#15 yrs of bharathnatyam were all training for reading this book fr. im literally only relying on what i learned in dance#this is not my actual family's bag#and the language/spelling is an issue theres a looooong passage in the koothu where i didnt know what god they were talking abt#cause i had never heard the name before. and then they mention the name of a slain demon thats similar to one i knew and i was like#OH. oh its him. okay. cool. but it took work#most of the language stuff im ok with though. a lot of the words are old enough that i can muddle thru with sanskrit roots#this is so crazy i cant believe going to a dance school that was so traditional my parents thought she was crazy is finally paying off#i remember going to kalakshetra and being like. yo this is wild why are we learning the same thing in the same way countries apart#i mean those dancers were better of course this was like. their whole life. but curriculum and vibe was exactly the same#like we had to show up hair braided formal dupatta and all. halfways thru she finally started letting us wear leggings under#a salwaar kameez top instead of the cotton pants they come with#learned nattuvangam too. and she didnt let us perform until we had a solid grasp on different talams#like when i got older half of class was sitting and listening to a tape and tapping out what beats fit#but yeah i just wonder if a more international translation exists! this really seems For south indians#but maybe this is why i had barely heard of it until the film came out my parents arent big readers but they should've at least known it#reading: ponniyin selvan
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i wish i had an exact copy of myself. sigh
#i wouldnt even do anything crazy with it like hed have his life id have mine. Thats my thing abt like um stuff like this with specifically#the fiction clones where they r like. an exact copy of you with all your memories#the second they r made they r no longer an exact copy of you bc from that point on you have 2 different experiences of life you know .. like#even judt like. you wkae up in a lab thats a pretty big experience. i can speak for myself and say id be 1#scared 2. kind of excited bc im a freak like that. thatd be a pretty picotsl moment 4 me#and then . whyd i almost misgender myself. i was talking abt the clone and called ot they... while i did just establish that the clone is#not exactly me so ig i dont know his pronouns. Sorry connor. but also the clone Is me at the aame time do you guys get it bc the clone even#if it Knows she was cloned it still has all my memories and still is a connor you know. its just that from the moment hes made we have two#different trajectories and every single second changes us further. like my clone might see a car accident or something and be super changed#by that. anyways i didnt mean to go on a tangent baout the identity of a clone (its something i think abt a lot bc of um. teehee. gestures#at my head) basically i wish i had a clone bc i think the like. itd be so easy to talk to her bc i wouldnt have to worry abt anything or be#scared... like yeah shed be a weird overly sensitive dickhead BUT she probably wouldnt misinterpret me bc we have similar thought patterns#so hed understand what i mean by things and hed get it and itd be easy. and we could be good friends and we could both get better and become#better ppl and obv wed both grow into completely distinct ppl and i think thatd be good... cloneor where r you. need you#itis my fault though i need to not be so paranoid. bc 'i wish i could just be friends with myself' makes me sound kind of like an evilperson#so disclaiming I would like to make friends with a lot of people and have a lot of different friends with different lives and interests and#passions i just have trouble with that and i think being able to talk to a clone of myself would be a good way for me to get used to talking#to ppl again its like training wheels. you get it. and also i think i could fix her
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god i just. the sheer fucking hurt in his voice. feeling so used. so untrusted. had a bounty on his head that wasn't even his fault and he still won't be told him the truth and estelle, too, still hides things from him after he helped her and they'd been traveling together. not only that, but the empire is too busy having its own internal issues to pay attention to its own suffering people.
i hate seeing him so upset, that's my baby boy.
more feelings in the tags
#GTF Vesperia Clips#and like. I don't blame him. regardless of if they became friends along the way she DID kinda use him#and yet still after even realizing it was her fault he had a bounty on his head didn't tell him the truth#and even now won't tell him the truth. like. even after he saved the PRINCE#nobody will tell him the truth/what's going on. he always pretends not to care abt that stuff#like in Heliord when he says smth similar but here you can rly tell it DOES bother him that#he does all this for them and and knows as much as he does but nobody will tell him a thing#and rly I think Ioder realized that and I think this scene with his voice clearly expressing hurt rly helped that#bc when they DO get to Heliord Ioder understands he already knows enough anyway to tell him things#but this scene I think rly does express that Yuri absolutely cares how he's treated/how ppl see him#bc I think in this scene he feels like after everything he's just /some guy/ and ofc that would hurt#technically Flynn can't say anything without their go ahead but I think the fact that he also#doesn't try to convince them to trust Yuri in this case also added to the hurt#bc at this point how ''public'' is he? how much of a ''regular civilian'' is he to them?#it's like. just. not being trusted by anyone despite proving himself to be trustworthy#I do feel like Ioder in Heliord was kind of the reason this wasn't brought up again#bc he did seem to come to the conclusion after seeing this that yeah Yuri's not just some guy to them#if he'd ONLY saved Ioder that'd be one thing but he'd been keeping Estelle safe and he's Flynn's best friend#and Yuri is completely right to be hurt here bc there's no reason not to just /tell/ him#they know he's not gonna do anything with the information or get involved and try to manipulate anything#LISTEN IT JUST. makes me so sad to see him feeling so betrayed by literally all three of them in this moment#I mean I kinda get Ioder not saying anything right away bc he prob needed to be more briefed on everything#hence why by the time they all were in Heliord it's like okay well yeah why are we bothering keeping things from him#but at that time he'd saved the guy's life and he didn't even speak up for Yuri#and I think that hurt too. listen this makes me FEEL things ;_;#ALSO? honestly that must have felt like such whiplash with Flynn going from#being HAPPY things calmed down for Flynn and that he was more relaxed to just#Flynn not speaking up for him when neither candidate will trust him. buddy. my boy is hurtin'...
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despicable
updates as of 22 oct
Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
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Thank you for this post... this means a lot to me
it's a shame that a pretty important part of kabru's characterization is difficult to translate to english and many other languages. i'm talking about the way he uses first-person pronouns [僕] "boku" and [俺] "ore".
most people who are familiar with japanese language know about these pronouns. these are the two types of masculine pronouns that can be used in different situations:
[僕] "boku" is more polite, has a softer tone to it: it's casual, but not too informal. for example, a guy can use this pronoun when he's casually talking with his coworkers.
[俺] "ore" is very informal, can be seen as rude and in contrast to other pronouns may seem more masculine. in fact, "ore" seems to be more of a default pronoun for men lately, especially for teenagers and young adults. most male characters in dungeon meshi, for example, use "ore".
kabru uses both pronouns and it's part of the way he presents himself. it's important to know what he prefers to use in his mind - and it's always "ore". he also uses "ore" when he's a kid living with elves and i think it's interesting, because it seems like elves prefer to use [私] "watashi" (gender-neutral pronoun leaning to feminine). i couldn't find a solid proof that "watashi" is completely gender-neutral for elves though, because mithrun and lycion are the only male elves with speaking roles and lycion uses "ore", while mithrun uses "watashi".
(edit: i forgot about thistle, but he doesn't count, since he grew up with tallmen. he uses "boku" in his mind and with his family, but uses "watashi" as the dungeon lord).
kabru has a pretty good grasp on when he wants to use "boku" or "ore". when he interacts with people he's not very familiar with he uses "boku" pretty much exclusively. it's more polite, but also, he likely wanna present himself as less intimidating than he truly sees himself. he uses "boku" with toshiro, namari and canaries throughout the story, but with his own team he uses "ore". when he interacts with the group that tried to kill them, he uses "ore" too, clearly acting colder than he usually does.
what's even more interesting though, sometimes it's hard for him to stick with one pronoun with certain people. iirc it's normal in japanese, you can use a pronoun that is more fitting for the sentence, but i feel like it's intentional from the writing standpoint.
for example, when he initially talks to laios and his group he uses "boku", as usual. after they fought against falin together he switches to "ore". but after that, when he asks if laios remembers his name, he uses "boku" again. his mask is slipping, but he carefully puts it back on. when interacting with laios in chapter 76 he starts by using "boku" again, but as he gets more desperate and sincere, he starts using "ore".
another example, after he realized that mithrun doesn't care about his charismatic act, he starts using "boku" and "ore" interchangeably with him. at first, he's trying to use "boku" when they talk - it's important for him to respect social hierarchy after all, but when he's caught off guard he uses "ore". at some point he switches from "ore" to "boku" in one conversation! closer to the end of their 6 days journey he starts using "ore" more or less exclusively, almost like he forgets that he's supposed to keep his distance.
anyway, i wish this interesting pattern of his would be more obvious in translation!
#kabru#dungeon meshi#hierarchical status is deeply ingrained in the use of some asian languages#and it's an important part of characterization that reflects the relationship between characters#I read dunmeshi in my first language (Thai) which either lost a bit in translation#or maybe add stuff too much lmao#but yeah it's really hard to describe this nuance that I find lacking in English#my language has pronouns that are similar and the switch really had me ripping off my shirt#I'm going to get ship brained again but I wish people understand this moe part of Kabru#Mithrun in thai translation also refers to himself and speaks in old fashioned manners which I don't know if that's even there in Japanese#but it gives me more insight of his character and it's so moe because of the contrast with Kabru's “boku”#which Kabru's changed by the end and this switch feels almost like Kabru speaks adoringly to Mithrun#I just realize I add nothing of value here and having a ship brainrot#but yeah this is a great post we need to spread this info!!!
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something I'll never not find hilarious is that my brother and I really don't look alike: he's got a much darker, olive skintone compared to my pasty white that looks like the time I tried to make gluten free vegan pastry and it, uhhh...it was colourless, we've got different face shapes, different eyes, different noses, different body types, just generally very different in appearance.
But for about a year when I was fourteen and he was twelve, we had the same shoulder-length dark, slightly wavy hair and were about the same height, and at least twice a month people would ask us if we were twins, which I think we both found equal parts hilarious and infuriating.
#i don't think it helped that I literally had no friends at the time so just hung out with him a lot#which meant we developed this kind of shorthand and codewords and stuff#I'd honestly say that and when I was between the ages of 17 and 19 are the closest we've ever been#we just spent a lot of time together and they were kind of when our parent's marriage was at it's worst#but yeah for a year everyone we didn't know seemed to think we were twins#for no other reason than we were about the same height and had really similar hair cuts#(in that we both cut our hair ourselves to about the same length. independently I would like to point out)#but i mean really I take after the Scottish half of the family and work nights so literally don't go in the sun unless I have to#and then it's with copious sunscreen#and he gets asked on a regular basis if he's Mediterranean or latino#which. he's not.#but like I'll never forget when we went to Italy and he was sat on some steps he wasn't meant to be#and the police were kind of walking along asking all the tourists to move off the steps in English and then they get to my brother and ask#him to get of the steps in Italian and he just kinda looked at them blankly. at which point they tried Spanish and french before english#which he finally reacted to#it does kind of help that he blends in everywhere. like he's got this very relaxed energy that means he kind of just fits in with everyone
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I have been thinking about some things about ROTTMNT and Some ROTTMNT Fandom Stuff lately...
It is both positive, and not as positive (I won't say negative, just things that kind of itch at my mind sometimes), and it is a few things too.
Though, I am going to stricture my post(s), to have things make sense.
Idk, when I will post these things, if I do. And I do what to post and/or reblog some more positive (again, these posts are going to have positive stuff too) first, esp. since ROTTMNT's 5th anniversary was recently (happy 5th anniversary to Rise btw!), but just in general, because I do really love ROTTMNT. So much of content I enjoy is TMNT, which heavily includes ROTTMNT by this point.
But there are just some things, that are bugging me, that I might end up talking about.
Again, if I do these posts, I don't know when. And they will probably take awhile, because knowing me, they will probably be pretty long and stuff.
But we will see.
#chatxkilluaxnoir#chat's posts#chat's rambles#killua noir's rambles#i love rottmnt so much#and there is so much stuff/stuff in it characters characterization development etc. etc. that i am really hoping future versions take from#including tmnt mm. (i talk about this more in-depth iin that TMNT hot takes reblog i did so i won't do so again).#and it is overall a great tmnt series and series in general.#with awesome takes on the characters we love.#and really cool new and/or newer characters too.#and i love the mystics magic ninpo powers and/or etc. focus.#other series have had a cool mystic spiritual sci-fi super soldier powers etc. stuff and focus too but the way rise did it was really cool.#Though; there are some things i want to talk about it. yeah. at least one post or more. will be about this. my thoughts on it are#overall very positive and i love it and i love seeing more exploration of it/them in canon and fan stuff and i really hope we get more stuf#like what rise had w/ this (the powers mystics ninpo magic etc. etc. so on and the other stuff i mentioned. and stuff i didn't too lol)#and also the yokai and hidden city stuff and/or etc. in more future versions. bc it/they is/are really cool and i love them. as well as#stuff and/or similar-ish stuff other versions did too. and i am also hoping to see (similar stuff) as well. in some ways.#so yeah. basically. my thoughts and feelings on it/them is very positive. and i will talk more about those positive things in that post/#those posts. but then#i am going to be talking about some stuff that bugs and/or annoys me. in various different forms. it is nothing too bad or anything.#but yeah. i want to talk about it/them (more).#so you will probably see posts about it/them and maybe other stuff in the future. maybe.#tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt 5th anniversary#happy 5th anniversary to rottmnt again from me!
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I’m taking a break today. today is for fandom and movies and skincare.
#okay so basically the job yesterday was really weird#I was stunned to be chosen for it so quickly when it seemed like they had a lot of applicants#And i applied to be an Activity Book Artist but like no clarifying questions were asked about that stuff such as#‘how comfy are you in adobe illustrator’ which was weird bc i was fully prepare to lie my way through and figure it out as i go#But then when i started getting the documents to fill out it was weird like nothing looked very official and i was like Huh this isn’t a W-#Like things were just a bit off and I know you have to give your info when getting a job (loathe entirely) but i was getting uncomfy#And they were going to send me a check to purchase equipment? It felt weird i was like hmmmmm#So i talked to my partner and my two oldest friends and they were also sketched out by it.. so i double checked on the freelance site#And other people had received similar ‘jobs’ and they all turned out to be scams like bitch i almost got my identity stolen LOL#I think I’m safe bc i backed out before giving them my SSN or bank info or anything but still#OFFENSE! THAT’S RUDE!#I just feel like… naive and too trusting haha so Emma-coded but no fr I’m not sad or discouraged i’m fucking pissed#How dare they waste my time — the time i’m so convinced i’m running out of#Anyway! Glad we caught it glad i backed out and i think i’m safe but yeah. taking a break from cosplaying as Creative Professional today.#Like I’ve had tunnel vision and have isolated myself to work on this professional portfolio… FOR THIS?! GIRL I’M MAD LMAO
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❝ DON’T WAKE DAD ❞ — ✿ 𝐏.𝐒𝐇 ׅ ㅤ֢ ㅤׄㅤ .
── 𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈 ܃ Sunghoon was your stepbrother, and ever since your two fractured families merged into one, he’s had feelings for you. Deep down, he knows the attraction is wrong, but the taboo of it all only made it more addicting to him…
𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈 。。。 KINKTOBER SPECIAL, swearing, kissing, mentions of virginity loss, oral (m. r), masturbation (f. r), stepcest kink, cum eating, manhandling, face slapping, hair pulling, breath play, unprotected sex, dirty talk, mentions of 02z, reader is younger than sunghoon & has long hair, short parental argument, that’s all
𝐖ORD 𝐂OUNT ⨾ 4199 — 𓊆ྀི Day 10 𓊇ྀི
“She’s hot as fuck, I can’t help it…” Sunghoon sighed while readjusting himself in his seat just at the mere thought of you.
He and his two friends, Jake and Jay, were hanging out in your step-father’s backyard near the pool, helping themselves toa few cold drinks and some conversation while round about the outdoor table.
“Who fucking cares, dude?” Jake asked rhetorically, his Australian accent rugged and thick with utter confusion and disgust.
“Exactly bro… you’re playing with dangerous fire here, Hoon, and trust me when I say you don’t wanna mess with that step-sis shit…” Jay added, crossing his legs where where he sat.
“Why not, though?” Sunghoon challenged, pulling out his phone to swipe a few notifications clouding his screen.
“Well, for starters, screwing your step-sister in real life is a lot more tricky than how it’s shown in pornos… secondly, you two could be blood-related for all you know!” Jake pitched in, spreading his arms as if to convey increased importance.
“Please…. I highly doubt that…” Sunghoon scoffed, shaking his head at his friend's cautious protest.
“Right… and what makes you so sure then, huh..? You’ve taken any DNA tests lately?” Jay questioned matter-of-factly.
“Of course not, idiot, but that’s beside the point—”
“She might have the same dad as you!” Jake went on in a fit of concern.
“Not possible… my father had a vasectomy before I was even born, and my step-sister’s younger than me…”
“Then you all might have the same mom, it doesn’t matter! You never know with this type of stuff, dude—”
“Wait- Shhh…” Sunghoon whispered, just as a woman’s voice in the distance filled his ears until you eventually walked by.
“Hey, Hoon!” You chirped, paying a brief yet respectable wave to his friends as well, “Your dad’s been looking for you all afternoon, by the way…”
“Oh yeah? What’s up with him?” Sunghoon asked in between taking a sip from his soda can.
“He said something about you leaving the garage door unlocked last night?… I don’t know, maybe he just wants to talk to you about it…”
“God… I mean, okay, uh… thanks for letting me know, sis…”
“Mhm,” you hummed with a nod, right before turning on your heel and walking back from whence you came...
“Dad?” Jay repeated with confusion.
“Sis?” Jake added, just as confused.
“Yup… and we don’t look very similar now, do we?” Sunghoon offered with a proud smirk, taking the last sip of his cherry cola with a clenched jaw and sighing at the fizzy sensation.
“Fine, but what difference does it make when you live under the same roof and share a set of parents, biologically or not?”
The space felt quiet at Jay’s sudden comment, with nothing other than chirping birds in the distance filling the void.
“Look man, I gotta go now, but please, at the very least… consider… our advice,” Jay said in a more solemn tone before shuffling from his seat and standing up to walk away.
“Yea… I mean… I’ll consider it,” Sunghoon nodded nonchalantly while waving his friend off, but Jay didn’t see it as shady because that’s how Sunghoon always acted…
Numb, absent, impetuous.
It’s those precise qualities in him that initially earned your attraction, and they were the same qualities that eventually made you stick around…
1 hour later…
“It’s so pretty, Hoon…” you admired from beneath your step-brother, trailing an inquisitive finger along the underside of his cock as he nearly dug crescents into the palms of his hands from how tightly he balled his fists.
He was just so, so sensitive…
“Can I now?” You asked softly, eager to finally have his cock in your mouth and stretching your slutty little lips apart with his thickness…
And to no one’s shock, he was just as eager to have your mouth around him, too…
Of all the private time you’ve spent with Sunghoon, you two had tried almost everything in the books from dry humping, nipple sucking (on both sides), vaginal sex, cockwarming, and even mutual masturbation on some accounts…
Though, you had never tried giving him oral before, and it’s an act that’s been on your mental bucket list for quite a while now.
“Go on, angel,” Sunghoon groaned, watching intently as you began prepping him by stroking the base of his length, and he swears a hand has never felt so good around his cock before.
Your step-brother, being the handsome guy that he was, had his fair share of sexual experiences in the past…
However, once he met you, or more accurately, once y’all crossed that dangerous physical boundary, he fell in love with you in a way that would never be considered brotherly.
Simply put, you were the best at everything to him; making him feel better after a bad day, listening to his most profound thoughts when no one else would, etc etc.
And it helped that you were one of the most beautiful girls he had met, too…
The first time he had sex with you, he remembered gazing at your cunt first before sliding himself in, and he felt so bad for having to be the first one to stretch you out.
You were so tight and fragile and he was so thick and long that it took more than a few tries just to have sex properly…
But since then, you became his little fuck toy, and he simply dreaded the thought of some other guy getting to enjoy those parts of you one day…
The parts he worked so hard to cultivate in you… the parts that he felt should be for his eyes and his eyes only…
“Ohhh, God,” Sunghoon groaned suddenly, sealing his pretty brown eyes shut at the feeling of your lips sliding along the center of his shaft.
His tip, the most sensitive part of his cock, found utter bliss in the back of your tight throat, and his tense hips subconsciously bucked into your mouth, causing you to tap his thigh as a sign to slow down.
“Sorry,” he whispered, tucking your hair behind your ear to prevent it from getting in the way, but you couldn’t help yourself from marveling at the way his length twitched inside your mouth, its tip already crying out precum as you kept bobbing your head nice and slow.
And it was genuinely such an honor to be sucking him off, considering how much he had done for you in the past… things that your parents never had to find out about because he was there to help you.
For instance, you vividly recall the time when a deadbeat date you met at a party dropped you off on the side of the road after you rejected his sexual advances, and Sunghoon was the only person who answered your call that night…
That same night marked the first night you kissed each other… in his car at a red light on your way home, to be precise…
And you cried the rest of the drive back to the family mansion until Sunghoon managed to finally calm you down with a hug… one that led to him sleeping in your bed that night with his clothed cock slowly rutting against the curve of your ass…
You remember pretending like it didn’t happen for a while until eventually, the taboo craving was reciprocated in you; you wanted Sunghoon just as much as he always wanted you…
“Fuck, baby… ‘m so close,” your stepbrother groaned in pleasure, keeping his hands in your hair because it was genuinely one of his favorite parts about you, “Yea… keep drooling around my fat cock, baby… just like that… shit~”
You squeezed your thighs at Sunghoon’s desperate dirty talk, feeling yourself getting more and more turned on every time he swore beneath his breath.
“Go on, angel… touch yourself for me,” he mewled from above you, compelling you to do exactly what he just suggested.
Slipping your fingers past the waistband of your skirt, you found your core instantly given how you weren’t wearing any underwear.
You slid your digits over your folds while still sucking his dick before humming at the feeling of your aching clit finallygetting some attention.
“Didn’t know sucking my cock would turn you on so much,” he snickered through a smirk, only to groan once again as you hummed around his dick, reeling him even closer to climaxing.
With just a few more bobs of your head, Sunghoon was finally coming undone, screwing his thick eyebrows shut with his head thrown back.
His thumbs slowly outlined the side of your hairline as he looked back down at you with pure affection, slipping his cock out of you as cum coated every surface of your mouth—
“C’mere, princess,” he whispered in a raspy voice, finding your lips in the sweetest kiss as your tongues intertwined, all while you still stimulated your clit beneath your clothes…
And as if you weren’t feeling a bit lightheaded already, you definitely were now, feeling your hips spasm the more and more his tongue ran against yours.
Before you knew it, you were crying out Sunghoon’s name into his mouth and creaming all over your fingers.
“Shhh,” he cooed while holding your head in place with a gentle hand, backing away only once so he could see the look on your face as you finished.
It was such a beautiful sight to him, too… the way your eyes brimmed with tears as you bit down on your lower lip, trying to keep quiet but failing nonetheless…
He loved every part of it—
Knock, knock, knock.
“Sunghoon, are you in there?” Your mom called out from behind the door, just mere feet away from you two.
“Uhh, yeah, what’s up?” Sunghoon asked as calmly as he could manage while you both worked on readjusting your clothes back.
“Your father’s ready to have dinner with everyone,” she continued, trying to listen in on what was happening on the other side of the door, only to have her ears filled with the sound of shuffling.
“Alright, I’ll be down in a minute,” Sunghoon answered, just as you stood up to kiss him again, desperate for more.
“Great… I’ll go and tell your sister to join us, too,” she said before finally walking away, and you smiled even deeper into the kiss as Sunghoon’s hands found your body, guiding your hips closer against him.
30 minutes later…
“Why’re you making such a big deal out of this, Dad?”
“Because you’re too irresponsible for your age,” your stepfather scolded at the dinner table, the awkward clinking of silver forks against glass plates filling the room.
“Just because I forgot to lock the garage back on one night?”
“One night is all it takes for someone to come in and rob us, son,” his dad argued in between chewing on a piece of steak,“if you ever want this property or anything in the family estate to be yours, you better start acting like it belongs to you already…”
“But I do, Dad… can’t you see that?” Sunghoon asked with frustration in between eating some rice from his plate, “I keep the pool clean, cut the lawn weekly, and help out with bills, what else do you want me to do?”
“Lock the garage door back at night. Let’s start there,” his dad said plainly, and Sunghoon simply scoffed at his words.
“Right… got it, sir, but I’ll be excusing myself now,” Sunghoon said while getting up from the table with his dad in unison.
“No, you sit back down and finish eating so you can help your mom and sister clean up… I’m going to my room…”
“Ugh,” your mother sighed, getting up from the table and following in the exact steps as Sunghoon’s father did, “Sorry to leave you guys hanging, but I think I’m gonna call it a night and just chill out with your dad…”
“Oh… yeah, that’s fine,” you and your stepbrother smiled softly while getting up to wash dishes, “have a good night…”
“You, too, guys,” she smiled softly with her hands clasped in front of her before eventually leaving.
In the meantime, you got started on loading the dishwasher and wiping the kitchen surfaces; Sunghoon helped by sweeping and taking out the trash.
Afterward, you and Sunghoon sat on the living room couch and talked for a bit, the sound of the dishwashing machine thrumming in the distance.
You remembered his friends kept giving you weird looks earlier, so you decided to ask Sunghoon what they were talking about as a conversation starter.
“Oh- nothing, really… they were just curious about who you were, is all…” Sunghoon answered plainly, gentle clicks coming from his fingers as he toggled with the TV remote, searching for something good to watch.
And you knew it shouldn’t have affected you so much, but you could almost feel his hands all over you again just from looking at them…
You could feel the way his fingers were cupping your face earlier, and the way his palm felt resting on the small of your back as he kissed you that evening—
“Wanna watch something scary?” He offered, interrupting your brief thoughts.
“Do we even have a choice?” You returned while glancing at the screen, shocked to see there were predominantly horror movies playing tonight.
“I swear, it's like people never get bored of having scary movie marathons,” Sunghoon shrugged before eventually turning the TV off.
Currently, you were both sitting opposite to each other on the couch, up until your stepbrother patted the empty space next to him, signaling for you to come closer.
You laid your head on his shoulder, and the warmth of his body radiating through the cotton sweater he wore made you sigh in comfort.
“What, you're getting sleepy already?” Sunghoon asked with a soft smile, not expecting you to have snuggled against him so suddenly.
“No,” you said, reaching for his pale hand before tracing the nail beds of his fingers with your own, “just wanna enjoy this gentle moment with you...”
“Oh... Seriously?”
“Mhm...” You hummed against him, making the smile on his face linger for a little longer, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yea, what is it?”
“Well... hypothetically speaking, if your dad left his bedroom door open all night, how much do you think we could get away with in here?…”
“____...”
“Relax, it's just a question,” you pouted, letting go of his hand and touching his tense thigh instead.
He gulped before answering.
“Okay then... hypothetically speaking... I know I could keep quiet during a lot of things, but you on the other hand...” his voice trailed off as he gave you a knowing look instead of finishing his sentence.
“What? Finish what you were gonna say, loser,” you chuckled, sitting up to look him in the face now, but judging from his cheeks alone, you could tell he was a bit flustered about something...
“Hey,” you spoke softly, moving your hand from his thigh and cupping his face instead, but it didn't stay there long before he was pushing you on your back, caging you beneath him on the sofa.
“I think it might be better if I just show you instead of telling you, hm?” He whispered, dangerously close to your face, and you felt your heart rate increase while caged beneath him…
Not because you were nervous, but because you knew your parents were likely still awake, and you’d hate to get caught in a position like this.
“S-Sunghoon, maybe not in here, okay?” You began with shaky breaths, trying to keep your voice as low as possible now,“It’s too risky…”
“Shhh,” he whispered again, right before leaning down to kiss you, and you hated how it was truly that easy for him to win your submission.
Sliding a hand over your breasts, he found your neck in his grip, gently but firmly.
Though, the pressure only increased from here, and it was enough to make you squeak.
“You’re seriously getting all noisy, and just from that?” He judged you with a snicker, “If you want me to fuck you, y’know you’re gonna have to stay quiet, pretty… think you can do that for me?… hm?”
You could only manage to whimper in response, and he finally freed your neck from his rough hand, at first you think it’sbecause he’s easing up on you, but then you realize that he was just getting started.
Sitting up, he tugs your pants down to your thighs, only to have you immediately pull them back up again.
“Do you really wanna force me to get rough with you tonight, baby?” Sunghoon slithered, cupping your entire cunt in his hand before grinding his palm against your clothed sex, and he almost laughed out loud at the way you squirmed now.
“I can’t believe you’re being this s-stupid right now,” you stammered, but you couldn’t stop your hips from subconsciously bucking against the delicious friction he provided.
“Look at you… rejecting my advances only to grind against my hand like a bitch in heat,” he retorted, spitting in his free palm before slapping you across the cheek, the added moisture only adding to the echo of the impact.
You wanted to curse him out, kick him, punch him, or even just yell at him for doing that to you… but someway, somehow, you felt your body freeze at his gaze, and tears erupted from your eyelash beds in the same way they did the first night he kissed you… the first night he claimed you as his…
“Now, you know I didn’t wanna have to do that, sweetie,” Sunghoon pouted with a hoarseness to his tone, and you immediately felt his erection brush up against your thigh.
“As my little sister, you’re supposed to obey me, no matter what I ask of you,” he continued tenderly now, wiping the tears from your face with the back of his hand.
Your cheek still stung from where he slapped you, and it only made matters worse when you heard shuffling from your parent's room.
“B-but… I am ob-beying you,” you sniffled, voice cracking slightly as he kissed your face right where he struck you.
“Good,” he smiles, ceasing his hand in groping your cunt, “So that means you’ll let me make you feel good and you’llkeep quiet then, right?”
“Y-yes, Sunghoon,” you nodded, feeling him kiss your lips one last time before freeing you of his daunting shadow, only to stand up from the couch and tug you in whatever position he pleased.
And he handled your body as if you were weightless, but you knew that had more to do with his strength training than anything.
Situating you on your knees on the floor of the couch, he knelt behind you, caressing your waist while pressing his front against your ass.
Keeping all your clothes on, the only thing he did was slide both of your bottoms down, and you don’t think you ever felt more eager than you did once the cool room air hit your aching cunt.
And that’s when your stepbrother started sliding his burning red cock between your folds, trying his hardest not to spank you as that would only make more noise.
“You ready, baby?” He asked, making a makeshift ponytail of your hair, but before you could even answer, he was already sliding inside you all the way now.
And because you and he had sex so many times in the past, it’s like your walls were carved just for him.
No matter the circumstance, Sunghoon could always count on you being ready to take him in every which way he desired…
So, when you put up a little fight today, he made sure to remember it as he started rutting into you, keeping one hand firmly at your hips while the other one secured your head.
“Ohh…. mmm… ahhh,” you hummed, keeping your eyes shut completely as the faint sound of skin against skin filled the room.
His cock felt so good inside you, just like it always did… given the position, your cunt was angled a little different than what you were used to, but it helped him to fuck even deeper into you anyway.
“Feels good, baby?… Yea?… You just love taking your step-brother’s fat cock in your tight cunt, don’t you… you dirty little- nghh,” Sunghoon groaned breathlessly from behind you, pulling your hair back further now as he roughly pounded into you again and again.
“Your ass is so perfect, too,” he slurred, and all the dirty talk was making your pussy throb even more, with his greedy cock loving the sensation as well.
“Fuck, Hoonie,” you whimpered quietly, arching your back a bit so he could fuck you even deeper, when suddenly, you felt his grip release from your hair, causing your face to meet the couch cushions.
You could conveniently bury your face into the, whenever you felt like making a noise, letting all your naughty little sounds dissipate into the cotton.
He was bucking his hips behind you so fast and hard though now that even the wooden floorboards were starting to creak…
“Nghh…. Oh my g… ahh… fuck, baby,” you whined into the couch, but being so lost in the pleasure, it didn’t seem like Sunghoon cared to keep quiet anymore either.
He was grunting all loud like a madman now, and if it wasn’t for the air conditioner drowning out the squelching noises of skin-to-skin, you’re certain your parents would’ve caught you like this…
Your hearts pounded in unison as Sunghoon's hands continued to roam over your soft, supple body, tracing the curves of her hips before grabbing hold of the swells of your breasts.
You couldn't help but let out a stifled moan as squeezed you in his grip, filling you with an intensity that was almost too much to bear.
Biting down on your wrist, you tried your hardest to keep yourself from crying out, but it wasn’t long before you felt your walls tightening around him, Bo your collective breaths growing more ragged as you approached the brink.
“S-Sunghoon, I’m getting close,” you gasped, feeling something in your stomach tighten the faster your stepbrotherfucked his throbbing cock into you.
“S-so am I,” he stammered as the initially deep tone of his voice started to sound more desperate and vulnerable.
Sunghoon's eyes fluttered shut as he concentrated on the pleasure your soaking wet hole provided him with, digging his nails into your hips to contain all the energy within himself until it finally happened; with a silent scream of pleasure, you shuddered around his cock, making him lean forward to cover your mouth and conceal your moans, causing you to whine into his hand.
Swearing beneath your breath, he felt it was safe to remove his hand from your mouth now as your body arched off of the couch, and Sunghoon’s orgasm followed closely behind.
Not wanting to finish inside you, he pulled out as quickly as he could, jerking his slimy cock with the same hand he just covered your mouth with before cumming all over your back, using it as a landscape for his ivory release.
Sunghoon then pulled your shirt back over to cover you, and if you weren’t so tired and fucked out, the feeling of his sticky cum smearing under the cotton of your clothes would’ve made you cringe.
The two of you just lay there for a moment, panting and trembling with slick sheens of sweat decorating every corner of your collective bodies.
With a satisfied sigh, you looked down the hallway, noticing that your parent's door was already closed and that perhaps,the two of you missed it earlier given all the excitement.
You were already starting to feel the aches in your body creep up on you given how rough Sunghoon was being, but that all melted away once his lips connected with yours, humming into a gentle kiss.
“Let me help you to bed, sissy,” he whispered, helping you get up from the ground now.
He offered to carry you, but you insisted that you could walk on your own.
A few steps later, you were eventually in your bedroom with Sunghoon’s delicate hands getting to work on removing your shirt and wiping down your back.
Sliding a nightgown over your head, he gave you one last kiss goodnight before sweeping off to his own room now… but something in you told you this wasn’t the last you’d see of him tonight…
It was on nights like this that you missed Sunghoon most; despite how you two had already shared such intense intimacy with each other, you still craved his presence, and of course, he felt the same.
As you forced your eyes shut to hopefully get some sleep in, you comforted yourself with the fact that you never heard the soft click of the door latch from Sunghoon’s bedroom, letting you know that it’d only be a few minutes before his footsteps would echo through the hallway as he’d slip into bed beside you.
✎𓂃 Thanks for reading DAY 10's fic entry for my 2024 Kinktober Event !! Sorry I’m a day late to posting this (I had to process some issues in one of my friendships), but nonetheless, if you're interested, feel free to check out my main enhypen masterlist or my kinktober masterlist here !!
♱ PERM TAGLIST:
@squoxle, @nishiimuranights, @ashgonedash @yourmomscuntis2tighy (miss you), @wonbinisbabygurl @watamotee33, @addictedtohobi, @ot7sevenlvr
♱ KINKTOBER TAGLIST:
@pasteltheghost16 @fawnpeaks @melonvrs @mheretoreadff @skzfelixlove @inishij @yaorzu-blog @andromedawillburyyou @ramyeonzprincess @zaihypen @simjaeyunns @gardenwonnies @hynier @idontknowhowtomakeusernames @enhymeowz @minhosimthings @stormy1408 @crownj1min @jay-0n3s @gacktsa @leeknowinggg @d-dilemma @mrsjohnnysuh
#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours#sunghoon smut#enhypen x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon ff#sunghoon hard thoughts#sunghoon hard hours#sunghoon au#kinktober 2024
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𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 | sae, kaiser, rin, reo and isagi
𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!
plot: domestic shit because I love fluff stuff 🌷 the characters chosen seem to me to be the most "visible" with little girls... so yeah. I'm actually not very sure of the result, maybe I'll delete it sooner or later to do it again
— sae itoshi
If there was one thing Sae had understood since becoming a parent, it was that having two children was complicated. On one hand he was now understanding all of his mother's concerns when, as children, Rin was unmanageable
We know however that males, if brothers, are somehow a little more manageable. Females, if sisters, are not. He was the father of two girls
As much as he loved them, he agreed with you when you said it would have been better to wait a few more years. But then he looks at his girls in the face, he regrets even thinking about it a little, because he loves them too much
In his eyes he sees him and Rin when they were kids: Sayami, the eldest, looks awfully like him because of her reddish hair, but in character she is like you. Semika, the youngest, is different from him in appearance but identical in character. Sayami brings out Semika's very hidden, but existing, sociable side. The only trait that makes girls similar are those damned undereyelashes that have marked the Itoshi family for generations
“Love, when are you going to let them go?”
"No."
"Sae, we've already talked about this..."
"I said no"
"Sae."
"I already said no, Y/n.”
"Y'know, they're already 7 years old. Sooner or later it will happen..."
"Not as long as I'm alive"
...a simple child had asked Sayami if she and her sister wanted to go play with him. Sae took their hand and walked out of the park as fast as he could with his treasures
✶ Sae tries hard to talk with her little girls. In a relationship not talking, or in any case having some communication problems, can be understood... with little girls no, because they would take it as a rejection. He ALWAYS goes out of his way to talk to them as much as possible, also because he loves the moments when they come home from school and, together, they chat about what happened during the day
✶ Let's be honest, Sae doesn't have much other knowledge or passions apart soccer, which was probably imposed on him as a child. He has not the slightest intention of making any of his girls leave school: if like him they end up having to change country to follow a sport, Sae will have to be absolutely sure that they are studying at the same time. He doesn't want them to be like him, because he knows how difficult is that life
Favorite father-daughter(s) activity: resting with them. Sae is often busy with his career, training and of course with his beautiful wife, but he always tries to make time in the evenings (if he's not out of town for a match) with his daughters. He likes to lie down on the bed or on the sofa, before dinner, with the girls who tell him everything exciting they did that day
When you and your little girl(s) show up at one of his games: he hides it well but LOVES when you come to watch him play. If he is normally a prodigy, in front of his daughters he must seem even better. When he scores a goal the first thing he would do is turn towards you, no celebration because it's not his style, but he would wave to his daughters who are cheering for him from the stands. Once the game is over he would ignore the interviewers, as he normally does, and simply come to you to claim his victory kiss
— kaiser micheal
Having children, whether boys or girls, was NOT in Michael's plan. I mean, how can someone who had such a complicated childhood have children? Even if he hides it, he has an enormous fear of being able to make someone of his own blood suffer, voluntarily or not, what he has experienced. He just knows that if something has to happen, it happens. And he doesn't know what fate has in store for his possible heir. He might hate his kid and disown him or her like his parents, if they can be called in that way, did with him
When he found out that he was going to become a father, and with a daughter, he seriously thought for a few moments about simply walking away. Not that he hated you, he couldn't, but it was really strange for him to think that someone of his own blood, his kid, was about to born
Kaiser can't explain how all the worries he had collapsed the moment he held Anneliese, his daughter, in his arms for the first time. Just by seeing and hearing her, he wondered how he could even remotely think that he could hypothetically hurt such a wonderful being
Anneliese quickly became the center of Kaiser's world, along of course with the beautiful mother of his little girl. It can be said that his daughter is a shameless copy of him, both in appearance and character: long, blonde hair, proud and always challenging temperament. One might doubt that she is your daughter but not that she is not Kaiser's. She is liteeerally him
...Sitting on the sofa, Anneliese is watching one of her father's old match. The assist with a teammate ends badly, but the ball returns to Kaiser's possession again and he scores a goal
“Dad, the next time you pass the ball to someone unworthy, I will be even more angry than I am now!”
"I understand, don't worry. I can't make my little girl angry again, can I?"
"Mihya, on the field you have to do what you feel, don't listen to her..."
"How can I not listen to our little girl, Schatz?"
✶ Kaiser loves to take his daughter with him everywhere: whether it's to an interview, to training or to a match, Anneliese is almost certainly with him or next to you. He loves when you and your little girl cheer for him during a match, even more if he knows that if he scores there will be your lips kissing him and the little girl's little arms hugging him. He shows a lot his family and his being a fantastic father (you tell him too, he's a little insecure about this) in front of his teammates. The emperor's family!
✶ Ness is practically the little girl's uncle. He never stopped idolizing Micheal, even more so when he discovered that now there was no longer just one Kaiser but two. Micheal is slightly jealous, he doesn't like that his daughter spends so much time with Ness... he hates seeing his Anneliese so happy with an adult other than him or her mother
Favorite father-daughter(s) activity: he loves when his daughter plays with his hair, especially with the blue parts. Seeing the cerulean blue on his little girl's pale hands, as she braids it or whatever it is, makes him tender. He once dreamed of Anneliese with the exact same hair as him and he admits he wouldn't mind seeing her that way. Maybe blue tipped hair could be the Kaiser's new trademark
When you and your little girl(s) show up at one of his games: whenever you and Anneliese come to a game, the first thing he makes sure to do is that you have a seat in the VIP section. He loves seeing the stadium celebrate for him because his family is there to see him, it's something that feeds his ego. As soon as the match was over he would have you go down onto the field with him, the little girl in his arm and his other arm around your waist as he holds you close to him
— rin itoshi
In his mind Rin, the few times he imagined himself, he always saw himself as the father of a son, and nothing more. Not brothers, as much as he actually liked the idea, just a child and above all a boy. He would have been happy like that
As much as he liked the idea of a possible second child, with his job he wouldn't be able to dedicate the time he knows children deserve. At the same time he doesn't want to leave all the work to you, because parenting is something that is usually done by two. One child would have been enough
He doesn't know how but at a certain point in his life, he found himself with three daughters, all of whom were no more than two years apart. At first it was just a child, your beautiful Ayaka, then suddenly Homura also appeared and finally Rika
The idea of just one boy dematerialized pretty quickly. But he loves his girls so much that, when sometimes he thinks of his original idea, he curses himself: how could he deprive himself of the presence and love of his girls?
All the girls resemble him tremendously, both in character (the one before the incident with Sae) and in appearance, obviously talking about the undereyelashes signed 'Itoshi'. Ayaka, only, is the female version of her father. Homura and Rika have taken something from their mother, but Ayaka could almost resemble Sae too... well, he is her uncle after all, right?
"Dad, Rika doesn't pass the ball when she plays!"
"You can't handle it either, Homura! You can't even pass me games at home!"
"Girls, calm down"
"Learn to score on goal first, before complaining"
...The situation seemed to be calm under Rin's control, but Ayaka broke the calm by scoring a perfect goal into the net of the private home soccer field. New prodigy?
✶ Rin often thinks about what might happen if, in the future, he ever does something that could divide her daughters. He has no preference between them, but he is always terrified that he might do something wrong that could create inequalities that he doesn't want, because in a certain sense, what happened between him and Sae must not happen in another generation of the Itoshi. He bond and love between his daughters must exist forever, not deteriorate as happened with his Nii Chan
✶ He would try to get his daughters to try as many sports as possible. As much as Rin loves soccer, his choice was influenced by the fact that Sae played it... what if he was now a world champion in, idk, volleyball? NO OKAY. He simply likes to make all 3 try new things, looking for something that maybe they could dedicate themselves with passion
Favorite father-daughter(s) activity: when his little girls organize themselves to do makeup on him. He's got a pretty mysterious look to maintain, but if Homura has decided that he's going to show up at practice tomorrow wearing orange nail polish, he'll show up that way. Not that he has any problem fighting anyone who has something to say against him, but no one dares. Rin loves to see them concentrate while putting on mascara or a completely disgusting shade of lipstick
When you and your little girl(s) show up at one of his games: if he knows that you are there to see him play, he will do everything to score as many goals as possible and, above all, quickly: he wants to keep his girls' expectations high. Once he scored a goal he would raise his hand to the sky, waiting for his girls to do the same thing because it has now become a gesture that only each other understands. At the end of the game the first thing he would do is go up to the stands to be with you, fuck his lukewarm teammates
— reo mikage
Looking after Nagi was like taking a pre parenting course. Nagi essentially has the needs of a child if you ignore the fact that he is 17 years old and 1.90cm tall, so Reo knows quite well what a child needs. Then, he always saw the maids in his house bring their young children to work when possible: Reo loved playing with them or picking them up, or just generally spending time with them. The idea of having children, sooner or later and with a special person, has actually always interested him. He always said to himself, but in reality he hoped, that he would find the person who would love him for simply being Reo and not for his money... and then you came along!
His idea has always been of only one child because he is afraid that, sooner or later, two possible children could fight over the money of the Mikage company. Everything is unpredictable, right? So he doesn't want to risk anything
His original idea was respected. When he held Hikari for the first time he simply understood that he wouldn't be able to create, obviously with you, such a cute and perfect being again
The only similarity that links Hikari to her father is the same hair color, that strong purple. For the rest she is completely her mother, and Reo loves this even more: it's cute to see a mini version of you, but with some of his features, walking around the house. His new sweet treasure!!
"So, this... this, yes, also this... that... this"
"Reo, honey, what are you doing with that newspaper?"
"Nothing dangerous. Don't worry"
"What are you doing though? You make me curious"
"I told you not to worry, honey. Trust me."
...Reo was marking all the objects, approximately 300, in a catalog of toys and children's products. If he has money, why can't he spend it if he knows it will make his daughter happy?
✶ The first person Reo told that he was going to be a father was obviously Nagi. Let's say that at first Seishiro wasn't really believing it, but when he saw that pregnancy test... oh... yes, he definitely believed it. It often happens that Hikari stays with Nagi for days at a time, as the little girl sees him as a giant she can annoy. Reo often tells his daughter not to bother Nagi too much, but it secretly makes him laugh to see Seishiro so awkward with Hikari because he doesn't know how to handle children (himself??)
✶ If there's one thing he would never do, it would be to push Hikari into running the Mikage company once she grows up. Reo hated living his childhood with the knowledge that he already had a predetermined destiny, and he doesn't want Hikari to have the same treatment. She want to become a doctor? It will become one. She want to become a farmer? It will become one. She want to become president of the world? It will become one. He simply wants her to do what she loves
Favorite father-daughter(s) activity: travel the world with his daughter or of course with you too. The money is there, and what better way is there to spend it than learning and traveling? Hikari, at less than 5 years old, had already visited half the world. Reo loves taking her to different places and seeing her reactions so amazed. His favorite will remain forever when they arrived in New York, where Hikari didn't stop smiling for a second
When you and your little girl(s) show up at one of his games: it is obvious to say that he would pay to let you have the VIP of the VIP, his girls deserve the best, right?. He would feel amazing among all his teammates knowing that his family is there for him while there is no one for them. At the end of the game he would let the cameras record him hugging you and Hikari, why would he hide all the love he has for you from the cameras?
— isagi yoichi
Isagi was relatively happy as a child: his parents loved him, he played the sport he loved, he didn't do badly at school. Everything was happy for him in his early life. The only thing he often noticed were his classmates with older or younger siblings, who yeah argued with each other, but at the same time loved each other very much. He didn't suffer from loneliness from being the only child, not that, but he was always intrigued by the concept of not being the only child in the family
Since you've been dating seriously, and even before actually, he's always thought that his future family would model what he had: loving parents, one child, two if they had the chance
When Fujiko was born there was this plan in his mind: okay, now we dedicate ourselves to her, we give her everything she needs... then, if we want, we will have another child. Both you and Yoichi were very convinced that a max of 5 years after the birth of the kid you would try again, but Fujiko filled your lives so much that you decided that only she was good for the whole life
Fujiko's appearance bears little resemblance to her father's, maybe just a few facial features. If we talk about character, however, everything changes completely: it's a kind of Isagi 2.0, the same determination coupled with a lot of kindness. We will find out later if she also has bipolar disorder on and off the field like her dad- WHO SAID THAT??
"Fujiko, why aren't there any more pencil in your pencilcase?"
"Mom, I had to give them to some friends. Otherwise they couldn't write what the teacher said"
"This kindness reminds me of someone"
"Who? Who? Who?"
"Think about it: who do you consider to be the kindest person in the world?"
"My dad!"
...doing homework with your daughter, you noticed that some things were missing. Isagi is kind, one of the kindest in the world; when you told him about it he was perplexed, because he too would have done the exact same thing... just like his little girl
✶ Having now become a professional striker, he often does not have the opportunity to spend long periods at home due to champions or special training sessions. When this happens he is happy to leave because soccer is his passion anyway, on the other hand he dies inside every time he hugs his daughter or you for the last time. He loves his family, he would like to always be with you and Fujiko because you give him courage, but he understands that always moving with him from city to city, or even from country to country, is complicated and, above all, tiring
✶ He would like to direct Fujiko towards soccer, but at the same time he knows that he cannot choose something that is actually up to her. He has the belief that Fujiko would probably be good as him, unlocking her own version of the meta vision, but he prefers to see her little girl happy with the things she has chosen and loves
Favorite father-daughter(s) activity: he likes when they watch the games Isagi has already played. Television often replays reruns of recent or even old matches, and whenever Isagi is present on the field, Fujiko is the first to ask to watch them together. Yoichi enjoys seeing her so amazed by the actions on the field, commenting on anything that she doesn't understand because she rightfully doesn't know the rules of soccer. The thing that amuses him most is explaining to her who are the people he passes the ball, whether they are his friends or not, but now for Fujiko there is only Bachira with the title of dad's friend
When you and your little girl(s) show up at one of his games: the mere fact that you come to see him play is a lot for him, but since you and Fujiko once showed up wearing a jacket that said "biggest fan of number 11" on the back, he understood that he didn't it would matter if he were to be burned alive if he did it for you. Unfortunately the insults would always be there, but he would try to contain himself in front of his little girl. At the end of the game the first thing he would do is come to you and let you onto the field, making you celebrate with him
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