#yeah we had similar stuff going on

[schizospec-culture-is]

childhood-onset schizophrenia culture is feeling very weirded out that some people have a "before". i've always been like this, although at some points to a lesser degree--always having hallucinations, believing in "weird" but "apparently harmless" things. "true" schizophrenia prodrome started in sixth grade (so far as i know) and i have a lot of other stuff going on now, but there's never been a time in which i've been connected to the real world. where do you draw the line between "normal child imagination" and "atypical experiences"? because for me, that line... never existed.

(it almost certainly didn't help that when my mom heard about my hallucinations and my strong belief in ghosts, she agreed because she also believed in ghosts. but at a certain point there comes to be a difference between "ghosts are real" and "there are creatures beyond mortal ken who are watching me in my sleep, and very few of them are on my side, and very many of them are actively hunting for the right time to kill me, but the few who are on my side protect me so i'm safe" even as an 8/9 year old, yknow?)

-

[kyouka-supremacy]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[tommygotwrittenoff]

the fact that eddie and maddie have never interacted outside a group setting is so funny actually. you cannot tell me those two wouldnt get on like a house on fire. i fear the day we get a solo maddie and eddie scene is the day we get buddie canon

[jackass-jones]

Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰

[alchemiclee]

been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

[swallowtail-ageha]

Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small

[zipmode]

thought i had ONE homework assignment due today but it turns out i have TWOOOOO FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

[lady-caden]

Sometimes I rlly do love my fam

[cosmicrhetoric]

woh. finally got a good chunk of the way into ponniyin selvan and maybe it's just my translation but theres a little explanation section at the end of every chapter to help with some tamil words....but fr they explain maybe 1 out of every 5 bits that would be ILLEGIBLE to anyone who doesnt have a good handle on specifically south indian hindu myth and tamil nadu history. im doing ok language wise 👍🏾 like its been a few years since i was really in that world but if im struggling idk how non brown ppl would manage. even little things, poetics, word games....kuruvaikoothu scene was interesting though

[wishingprince]

Also been trying to finish the Shield DLC. I really hate that game lmao I love so many of the pokemon that came from it but Jesus Christ the writing is SO BAD. I only only getting the legendaries from it that I can’t get from Violet and Scarlet so I can move on forever.

Also I don’t fucking know what is wrong with my 3DS but I have Pokemon Bank AND Pokemon Transporter on it but they both want to be updated before they can be used therefore I can’t use them. I’m considering buying 3DS off eBay where both are working since I’ve been really committed to playing older games now too and I want to keep all my babies from them.

[itsalwaysdark]

i wish i had an exact copy of myself. sigh

[goldentigerfestival]

god i just. the sheer fucking hurt in his voice. feeling so used. so untrusted. had a bounty on his head that wasn't even his fault and he still won't be told him the truth and estelle, too, still hides things from him after he helped her and they'd been traveling together. not only that, but the empire is too busy having its own internal issues to pay attention to its own suffering people.

i hate seeing him so upset, that's my baby boy.

more feelings in the tags

[papikyoo]

Thank you for this post... this means a lot to me

it's a shame that a pretty important part of kabru's characterization is difficult to translate to english and many other languages. i'm talking about the way he uses first-person pronouns [僕] "boku" and [俺] "ore".

most people who are familiar with japanese language know about these pronouns. these are the two types of masculine pronouns that can be used in different situations:

[僕] "boku" is more polite, has a softer tone to it: it's casual, but not too informal. for example, a guy can use this pronoun when he's casually talking with his coworkers.

[俺] "ore" is very informal, can be seen as rude and in contrast to other pronouns may seem more masculine. in fact, "ore" seems to be more of a default pronoun for men lately, especially for teenagers and young adults. most male characters in dungeon meshi, for example, use "ore".

kabru uses both pronouns and it's part of the way he presents himself. it's important to know what he prefers to use in his mind - and it's always "ore". he also uses "ore" when he's a kid living with elves and i think it's interesting, because it seems like elves prefer to use [私] "watashi" (gender-neutral pronoun leaning to feminine). i couldn't find a solid proof that "watashi" is completely gender-neutral for elves though, because mithrun and lycion are the only male elves with speaking roles and lycion uses "ore", while mithrun uses "watashi".

(edit: i forgot about thistle, but he doesn't count, since he grew up with tallmen. he uses "boku" in his mind and with his family, but uses "watashi" as the dungeon lord).

kabru has a pretty good grasp on when he wants to use "boku" or "ore". when he interacts with people he's not very familiar with he uses "boku" pretty much exclusively. it's more polite, but also, he likely wanna present himself as less intimidating than he truly sees himself. he uses "boku" with toshiro, namari and canaries throughout the story, but with his own team he uses "ore". when he interacts with the group that tried to kill them, he uses "ore" too, clearly acting colder than he usually does.

what's even more interesting though, sometimes it's hard for him to stick with one pronoun with certain people. iirc it's normal in japanese, you can use a pronoun that is more fitting for the sentence, but i feel like it's intentional from the writing standpoint.

for example, when he initially talks to laios and his group he uses "boku", as usual. after they fought against falin together he switches to "ore". but after that, when he asks if laios remembers his name, he uses "boku" again. his mask is slipping, but he carefully puts it back on. when interacting with laios in chapter 76 he starts by using "boku" again, but as he gets more desperate and sincere, he starts using "ore".

another example, after he realized that mithrun doesn't care about his charismatic act, he starts using "boku" and "ore" interchangeably with him. at first, he's trying to use "boku" when they talk - it's important for him to respect social hierarchy after all, but when he's caught off guard he uses "ore". at some point he switches from "ore" to "boku" in one conversation! closer to the end of their 6 days journey he starts using "ore" more or less exclusively, almost like he forgets that he's supposed to keep his distance.

anyway, i wish this interesting pattern of his would be more obvious in translation!

[gyudons]

despicable

updates as of 22 oct

Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.

“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.

“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”

“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.

“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”

As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.

“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.

“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.

“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”

It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.

“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.

“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.

“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”

[freckleslikestars]

something I'll never not find hilarious is that my brother and I really don't look alike: he's got a much darker, olive skintone compared to my pasty white that looks like the time I tried to make gluten free vegan pastry and it, uhhh...it was colourless, we've got different face shapes, different eyes, different noses, different body types, just generally very different in appearance.

But for about a year when I was fourteen and he was twelve, we had the same shoulder-length dark, slightly wavy hair and were about the same height, and at least twice a month people would ask us if we were twins, which I think we both found equal parts hilarious and infuriating.

[sbcdh]

"It wasn't one thing, you know, it was like, everything. Everything just kinda happened slow. It wasn't fast. It was slow.

It was, uhh... 1964, I think. LBJ was in office. Yeah, 1964. The government rolled out the whole hypnoeconomics thing in uh, sophomore year. Something like that. I didn't really watch the news, but I remember everyone talking about the election. I remember it being a big deal but, you know, seems like every time the government does something it's a big deal, you know? It's always like, fine. It's always fine.  

 I had just graduated from UC Santa Ana. I had a degree in photography. What do you even do with that? Photography. It was hard at first, shopping a portfolio around, doing weddings. I had a gig going for some real estate company. That was alright. Taking pictures of empty houses for speculators. Something like that. I didn't know the specifics. I was good at it. It's not hard once you know the equipment, and what the client wants. But you get tired of it, you know? You get tired of it.

My mom wasn't the nicest lady. She's my mom but, you know how mom's are. The only thing to do in west Texas was go to church. I was raised really Christian, and Santa Ana was just so different. I didn't know many people. I had a job that didn't feel right, no friends, no family, no church. So I was looking for a church. You got all sortsa stuff out here, you know? You know the Navigators right? That big megachurch? The first chapel was like, a 20 minute drive from student housing. There were always people out preaching in the quad.

It was a girl. Uh, Nadine. Nadine Galt. We had a 101 class together. Math, I think. We really hit it off. She was just funny, you know? She said she was from out of state too, had a really pretty gold cross necklace. I think she polished it. We had similar upbringings you know? Small Town girl, big city, not many friends. That sorta thing. She invited me to a party. A jewelry party.

I asked her "what was that" and she explained the whole concept to me. How she was an independent seller, how she had all these friends, how she was gonna buy us wine and food and show us the stuff she had this month. I liked her. It sounded fun. It was fun.

She said she did that every month. I didn't know too many people, and it was a good way to meet people, you know? I may have paid a bit much for some bracelets, but hey, she was good at selling bracelets. I looked forward to the jewelry parties. I did. Every month I looked forward to them.

I had been going for maybe a year, year and a half, and she asked me if I wanted to become a seller like her. She did it slow, you know, every once in a while she would ask me to stay after the party. I didn't think I could do it. I had a degree in photography, what did I know? But she layed it on thick. Told me I was just what she was looking for. And, well, she said the money was good. I needed money. Or, I had money, but I needed more you know? She made it sound so, well, important. Said we needed to do this, that a market needed competition, you know? That the hypnoeconomists couldn't really track people like us. She said we were "essential to a free financial dreamscape." She made it sound like we were a pair of cowgirls out on the open range together. She said I would be a natural.

And you know what? I was pretty good. At first at least. At first it was just helping out Nadine with her stuff, but she taught me how to talk, introduced me to her distributors, even taught me how to look for new clients. I held a party for some of my clients in real estate. Bought out a whole section of a fancy restaurant and invested in nice cases from the distributor. It didn't go well. I didn't make much profit at all. I think they were mostly pity-buying. I didn't make a cent.

All gold. Yep, all gold. And that wasn't a lie either. It had to be gold, or it wouldn't work.

Nadine went missing in, uh, 67 I think. I was heartbroken. And worried, you know? I was worried sick. Everyone was reaching out, asking if I was alright. Hell, excuse my language, even my mama reached out. Called me on the phone, said I was in her prayers.

The distributor reached out too. Colin. I didn't get another name. Just Colin. Called me one day to express his condolences. He had a nice voice, over the phone. Smooth. Kinda timid, but in a way you liked. I dunno how to describe it. You know what else he told me? He told me I was responsible for 89% of the profits for his channel. Eighty nine. Thinkin back now, I shoulda known that was a bunch of bullshit. He said he wanted to meet with me at the company headquarters in Pasadena. Once I was ready of course. Said he wanted to "talk shop." It was a bright spot, you know? A bright spot in a scary and lonely time. I went. Got a hotel and everything.

What was it like? You mean like what happened?...oh,  you mean like, the inside? Like of the building?

You know what? Now that I think about it. Weird. It was weird as hell. Lotsa gold and concrete. Like the jewelery. It was like every room was like, I dunno. It was like they were too big and too small at the same time. And there was a LOT of gold, in all sortsa patterns.

No. Yeah. Yeah I'm okay, I can talk about it. I'm okay to talk about it. I wasn't there long. I've heard the stories, you know. I don't know what you know, you probably know more than me, being the government and all, but lemme say that if you heard a story about something happening in 11414, it's probably true.

Anyways, Colin met me in his office. No windows. We talked shop. They asked me to arrive early and I skipped breakfast to get there on time and, it seems like every time I tried to bring up lunch he would wave it down. I had to damn near demand to get up for lunch. He invited me up to the cafeteria. The nice one, the one the distributors got to eat at.

It was nice, like, real nice. The plates had those same gold patterns on them. It was after that-

The pattern? Uh, I'll try, do you have a pen? It was really complicated. I'll do my best. It had all these criss-crossing... Hm? Yeah. Yeah you know what? That's exactly what it looked like.

Yeah, you know? I actually did ask him. I asked him about the pattern and he just kinda looked at me like I was in on a joke and said put a finger to his lips and he tapped on the back of his head. You know, where they put the plugs. And he said "you know, so they can't listen."

Yeah he offered to let me try one. He got all quiet, brought me to the lounge behind some curtains. Yeah they had the gold thing too. Started talking like he had a secret. He must've had fifty, sixty pills in a fancy little case that had the same pattern on it.

No I wasn't surprised. How else would they make that much money without hypnoregulation? It was kind of an open secret, you know? I didn't want any of that. But you can't say no, you know? Then you're implicated. You can't leave. I agreed to take one.

I still think about that, you know? How I got out of that. What a dodged bullet. Oh my god. It's kinda embarrassing, now that I gotta say so, but when I was little, I used to do magic. You know, card tricks, sleight of hand, all that stuff. I palmed the damn thing. Slipped it right into my pocket.

I sat there for a bit. Tried to copy him, you know. The lounge had a bunch of sub-finantial cortical wires hidden in the coffee table. He gave me one and told me to watch what he did while he fed it up his nose into his head. I sat there for a bit, trying to stay calm. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he had the gold scalero, uh, scaleri, no, uh the white parts of his eyes...

Scalera! That's it. They were gold and everything.

I didn't know he would convulse so much. I thought something might've been wrong, but eventually they died down. I gotta say, I was so damn scared I couldn't move. I coulda been there for hours. I probably was.

I have a good memory. So eventually I worked up the courage and just...walked out.

Yeah. I walked out. You walk like you're supposed to be there, and you're kinda mad, you know? Like you're late for something and you can't talk right now. It's all about confidence. Nobody hassles you if you look like you know where you're going. I even said thank you to the secretary in the lobby. Nadine taught me that you know. It's all about confidence.

I made it to my car, got the engine going, and the moment 11414 was out of my rear view mirror I just started crying. Cried myself to fits. I didn't even know at the time. What was it? Six weeks later? How many dead?

Yeah, too many. Too many. I guess it doesn't matter.

I drove to a McDonald's for some food and at some point I turned on the radio. You know what was playing?

Yeah. It was that fucking Tremeloes song. You know the one."