#yeah this whole is my diary its my house.

[ent-is-indecisive]

The problem is i can feel my muscles deteriorating but the motivation to do exercises is still out of reach. What more could you possibly want.

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

[messy-gemini1]

*sigh* I miss my wife(Alcina), tails. I'll be back

(also if you don't get it its incorrect quotes again and yes its Alot of Alcina x reader)

Reader: You need to be more careful! Alcina, who was dragged into Reader's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT- *sheaths claws* ______

Alcina: Are you drinking enough water? Reader: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth. ______ Donna: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Reader: Well Alcina and I- Alcina: *elbows Reader* Reader: ...wouldn't know. ______ Reader: Why do you keep a diary?! Heisenberg: To keep secrets from my computer. ______ Heisenberg: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here. Heisenberg: And if you don't well then fuck you. Heisenberg: I'm looking at you, Angie, you jealous mop. ______ Reader when they were 15: What if I lied this whole time and I'm actually 18? Mother Miranda: Reader, stop trying to get drugs. Reader: Don't suppress my interests. ______ Reader: Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death. ______ Heisenberg: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Donna: What did you just say- Heisenberg: Foetons! *Laughs* Donna: Wh-what? ______ Reader: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. Heisenberg: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station. ______ Daniela: I’m never donating blood ever again. Daniela: The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! Daniela: ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not? ______ Alcina: *looks at Reader* Alcina: Baby boy/girl. Baby. Alcina: *looks at Heisenberg* Alcina: Manthing. ______ Alcina: I met this person (reader) on tinder and asked for their last name. They sent it to me and went “Doing a little background check? You might find out I’m a murderer, just ignore that” with a kissy wink emoji. Alright so I good sense of humour. Alcina: I looked them up, they were a murderer. Now were married ______ Donna: So, are you two dating now? Reader & Alcina: Yes. Donna: Why? Reader: I happen to find Alcina very appealing. Donna: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Alcina. Reader: HEY! ______ A random maiden about to be killed: You’re a horrible person! Daniela: Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter. ______ Reader: It’s time to turn this into a real business. Cassandra: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? Daniela: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? Alcina: I handle our accounting. and literally our who wine business Reader: and I love you for it my girlboss queen

[fandoms--fluff]

Mud and Suds

Flufftober, October 3rd

3 year old Salvatore sister reader x Stefan Salvatore x Damon Salvatore

Summary: Damon makes Stefan give you a bath from you being all dirty, and it backfires on him just a bit

Warnings: None, fluff overload

A/n: may be a bit ooc, but it's really stinkin cute

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been two hours since you went outside carrying a plastic shovel and two different sized containers.

“She’s been out there for a while, what’s she doing?” Damon brought up, looking outside through the open door and can barely see you because you’re too far away. 

“Well you can always check on her” Stefan pointed out, looking up from writing in his diary.

Damon shrugged and went out, walking towards where you were sitting, surrounded by different blobs of dirt and mud. You built all of them forming a little mud kingdom of your own surrounding your vicinity. He walked up to you, noticing all of the mud smeared on your clothing, face, arms, and legs. He raised an eyebrow wondering how you managed that. 

“Hey, Kiddo, I think it’s time to go inside and clean you up” Damon crouched down in front of you. 

“Bu’ mud, Day Day” you pointed at your creations, and called your brother by his nickname.

“Its getting late, you can continue tomorrow, alright?” Damon said and you nodded.

You stood up and walked over to Damon, avoiding destroying any of the mud castles. He took one of your muddy hands and walked you into the house.

"Don't you even think about it" Damon said when you were about to pull away from him and run around the house.

You looked up at him and stuck your tongue out before seeing Stefan sitting in one of the chairs. "S'efan!" You exclaimed and ran over to your other big brother. You wrapped your arms around his legs, unnoticlingly smearing mud all over his pants.

"Hello to you too, y/n/n" Stefan sighed when he saw all the mud on him.

Stefan looked over to your guys' older brother and pressed his lips together for a moment. "At least she only ran four meters away?" Stefan shrugs.

"Really? Well for that, guess who's on bath time duty? You" Damon told him before walking up to his room.

"Okay. Let's go get you all cleaned up! And let's get all these muddy clothes cleaned" Stefan picked you up, not caring about more mud getting on him since he already has to change anyways. "Yeah!" You exclaimed, leaning your head against his shoulder.

He carried you on his hip up the stairs and to his bathroom. Once he got there, he sat you down on the counter for a second while he turned the tap on to gave the bathtub filling up.

"Let's get you out of these dirty clothes, and if you're good during the whole bath, you can sleep in Damon's bed tonight" Stefan smiled, getting back at Damon for leaving him alone with a mud covered and energetic you to get cleaned and ready for bed.

"Yea, Day Day! Bubbles?" You asked him. "Yes, you can have bubbles in your bath" Stefan agrees. He grabbed the bottle of lavender scented bubbles from under his sink that he bought for you a couple months ago.

After he poured some of it in under the running tap, he came back over to you. Getting you out of the clothes was fairly easy to him. Usually you'd have put up a fight about having a bath, but today you're cooperating easily.

"Ready!" You exclaimed and raised your arms in excitement. "Yes you are, good job!" Stefan brang you over to the tub and slowly raised you into the warm water. "Is it too hot?" He asked. You shook your head, immediately playing with the bubbles.

"Okay, I'm going to be back in just a second, I'm going to get all your muddy clothes into the hamper, and change out of my now muddy clothes, you got it?" He said softly.

"Otay" you said before splashing with the bubbles again.

Stefan ruffled your wavy hair before picking up the pile of small muddy clothing. He vamped out of the bathroom connected to his room. He quickly put all yours and his muddy clothes into an empty laundry bin and changed into a tshirt and sweatpants.

When he got back into the bathroom, there was water splashed onto the ground. "Really?" he deadpanned, to which you just giggled back.

Stefan just shook his head with a small smile. He came over to you with a washcloth and body wash. He washed all the mud off of you quickly, surprised that you stayed still the entire time.

"Okay, last time, cover your eyes" Stefan told you, holding a cup of water above your head to rinse out the final suds of shampoo out of your hair. Your head was tilted back just a bit.

You covered our eyes with your tiny hands, while also squeezing them shut. Stefan slowly poured the water over your head, making sure to get the last of the shampoo out.

"Alright! All done" Stefan tells you. You removed your hand from your face and tilted your head back to normal. "Bath 'inished?" You ask.

"Yep, it's finished, time to dry you off and get into your pajamas" Stefan told you and lifted you out of the tub with a towel and quickly wrapped it around your body.

He undid the stopper, letting the water drain out before walking out of his room and over to yours. He placed you on your bed, all dry becuase of the towel now and walked over to your dresser.

He pulled open one of the drawers with your pjs in them. "Do you care which one?" He asked you. "Uh-uh" you shook your head.

Stefan picked out a light purple and white striped lonsleeve and bottoms. "Okay, stripes it is" he said. He dressed you in the pajamas as you started to nod off.

"Day Day" you quietly said, realizing Stefan had picked you up into his arms again. "Mhm, let's go see drop you off with Damon" Stefan said, to which you giggled at.

When Stefan walked into Damon's room, he looks up from where he's sat in his chair. "What do I owe the privilege of seeing my baby siblings" he smirked at Stefan's slightly offended face from being called a 'baby sibling'.

"Oh, just a little gift" Stefan passed you over to him.

"S'eep in Day Day's bed!" You told him before nuzzling into his chest.

"I told her if she was good during her bath she could sleep in your room tonight and she was!" Stefan told him, answering his confused stare.

Stefan quickly bolted out of the room when he got the death glare from Damon, "Have fun!" He yelled before closing his door.

You just giggled at your older brother's expression and poked his face multiple times. "Good thing you're my favorite" Damon whispered in your ear.

[zith-ipeth]

Dog Days Diary: Learning the tricks of the trade

Howdy folks

Recently I’ve been running into a lot of issues with my plurality, but, I’ve been doing pretty awesome on the animality and therianthropy front. This and a couple small things. Let’s talk about it

As some of you know I work at a pet supply store meaning almost every day I’m interacting with dogs as much as people, or interacting with people about dogs, and it’s doing wonders on my euphoria

Sometimes I’ve gotten so caught up in interacting with a pooch on the ground I almost start to play bow before I catch myself, the smell of dog fur and kibble is just, it’s amazing. I’ve gotten back into wearing my ears out more, which has been great for me!

Little things like these make being a dog feel, grounded, in humanity and society rather than out in the woods, I’m a house dog, a stray dog, I’m not a wolf by any means, and my doghood, my connection to that piece of me, has been as strong as ever

However my whole “two of them” situation hasn’t been the best recently

I’ve mentioned this a couple times on my blog but my headaches have gotten a lot worse, it’s honestly a learning experience every time, I learn new things that cuase Clover to want to be closer to consciousness, and have been working on avoiding those, mostly postive, triggers until we’re somewhere safe

Honestly it wouldn’t be so bad if the way I learned all this wasn’t trial and error with head splitting migraines

She’s been up to some antics though, it’s been good, she went shopping, by herself mostly and it went not badly. She’s been enjoying her show (Kipo Age of Wonderbeasts) which I joined in for last night and, I mean, yeah I get her excitement.

On her little shopping spree we finally got clothes that actually fit us! Which is, kinda big, at least I was getting tired of things being to tight, and idk, that’s been really happy for me

Sorry I havnt been doing daily the past few days, its been, hard, but I think its getting better now

It has to get better now

I will make sure it does

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace, love, and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

//Clover Brooks//

[slasherparty]

hi!! i know shes not in your character list, but i did see you do HCs on her before i think? can you please do a friends to lovers fluff oneshot for jennifer check x reader 🙏 welcome back btw!

of course, she's added to my list now!! because i'm replying so late, i won't harp on it, but for full fanfics (including oneshots) i do commissions, not requests! i prefer to be paid for long form writing :) you can see my rules for more info! i hope this piece here suits you <3

You Found Me in the Witching Hour 🌙

The first time Jennifer kissed you, it wasn’t even a kiss. Not really. It was a flicker of her lip gloss on your cheek, a rose-tinted comet streaking across your skin, leaving a trail of glitter and something that might’ve been longing — or might’ve just been Jennifer being Jennifer. That was how she was: a beautiful ruin, a cathedral with stained-glass eyes and scaffolding nobody dared to climb.

You thought about that not-kiss as you leaned against the counter of her parents’ dimly lit kitchen. The house smelled like stale perfume and something older, something untouchable, like ink staining an old diary. Jennifer was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor, painting her nails the exact color of dried blood. The tiny brush moved with precision, but her smile — sharp and wild — was all for you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, not looking at you at all.

“Like what?”

“Like I’ve got the answers.” She smirked and blew on her nails, each exhale a spell meant only for her.

“Do you?” you asked, playful but a little serious. Jennifer always felt like she knew more than she let on, like the world had whispered its secrets to her during one of her moonlit rendezvous.

Her eyes flicked up then, sudden as a thunderstorm. They pinned you in place. Of course she does, you thought.

“I don’t know,” she said, voice softening. “Maybe. But you’ve got the questions, and that’s better.”

You rolled your eyes, but the heat in your cheeks betrayed you. She always did this — turned the simplest moments into something alive, something electric.

“Come here,” she said suddenly, uncrossing her legs and patting the floor beside her.

“Why?”

“Because I said so,” she teased, but her tone was almost sweet, and that scared you more than anything.

You sat down, knees bumping hers. She leaned in, her shoulder brushing yours, and it felt like stepping into a patch of sunlight after a week of rain.

“I’ve been thinking,” she said, her voice quieter now.

“Dangerous.”

“Shut up. I’ve been thinking about... us.” She looked at you then, really looked, and it was like the world had paused to see what you’d say next.

“Us?”

“Yeah.” She frowned, like she was annoyed with herself for saying it out loud. “You’re always here. You stick around even when I’m a mess, and that’s... weird. But it’s nice, too. And I think —” She stopped, her words tangling in her throat like caught birds.

You waited, the silence heavy but not unbearable.

“I think I’m kind of in love with you,” she finally said, all in one breath, like she was afraid the words would run away if she didn’t trap them fast enough.

For a moment, you could only blink. The kitchen light buzzed softly, a flicker in the corner of your eye, but all you could focus on was her — Jennifer, vulnerable in a way you’d never seen before.

“Say something,” she whispered, her bravado cracking just enough for you to see the girl underneath — the one who wasn’t all sharp smiles and knowing smirks.

“I —” You swallowed. “I think I love you too.”

The smile that spread across her face was radiant, the kind of smile that could set stars to spinning.

“Good,” she said, leaning in, closer this time. “Because I was going to kiss you anyway.”

And she did.

Her lips were warm and soft, tasting faintly of strawberries and chaos. When she pulled away, you were breathless but whole, like something had clicked into place.

“See?” she murmured, her forehead resting against yours. “Told you I had the answers.”

( ✂ continued under the cut)

You laughed softly, the sound bubbling up before you could stop it. “I guess you did.”

Jennifer pulled back just enough to look at you, her eyes catching the light like something enchanted. It was unnerving, how easily she could look at you like you were the only person in the world. Maybe to her, you were. At least now, in her dimly lit kitchen, sitting side by side like you had since forever.

“Well, now that we’ve got that out of the way...” She grinned, sharp as ever, and got to her feet in one fluid motion. She offered you her hand, a glossy red smudge on her thumb from her nail polish.

You took it, your pulse skittering as her fingers wrapped around yours.

“What now?” you asked, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

She tilted her head like she was considering. “We could watch a movie. Make popcorn. Or...” — and here her smile turned wicked — “we could drive out to Devil’s Kettle and see if the lake really does swallow everything.”

“You’re not serious.”

She shrugged, already reaching for her car keys on the counter. “I might be. You’ve got to admit, it’s kind of romantic.”

“Romantic? Sneaking out to a bottomless pit where stuff disappears forever?”

“Exactly. It’s like a metaphor for life or something.”

You stared at her, half-annoyed and half in awe. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re obsessed with me,” she countered, the words rolling off her tongue like a dare.

You didn’t deny it.

The drive to Devil’s Kettle was quiet, the kind of quiet that buzzes with the weight of something unspoken. Jennifer hummed along to the radio, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel. You watched her in the faint glow of the dashboard lights, wondering if this new thing between you was fragile or indestructible.

When you got there, the air was cold, sharp enough to sting your cheeks. The woods around the falls were eerie in the dark, the trees twisting upward like skeletal hands. Jennifer grabbed your hand without asking, her fingers cool against yours.

“Come on,” she said, tugging you along the narrow path to the edge of the falls.

The water roared, relentless and unknowable, vanishing into the earth like it had secrets to keep. Jennifer stood on the edge, her face lit with the kind of excitement that bordered on reckless.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” she said, her voice raised over the sound of the water.

“It’s terrifying.”

She laughed, and it was the most alive sound you’d ever heard. “Same thing.”

She turned to you then, her expression softer, almost shy. “Hey.”

“What?”

“You’re not going to disappear on me, right?” Her voice was teasing, but there was something underneath it, something raw.

You stepped closer, the spray from the falls cool on your skin. “Not unless you push me in.”

Her smile flickered, and then she was kissing you again, this time with more urgency, like she was anchoring herself to you. Her hands gripped your jacket, pulling you closer until there was nothing between you but the sound of the water and the pounding of your heart.

When she pulled back, her eyes sparkled with mischief. “You taste like destiny,” she said, and you couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.

“Is that a good thing?” you asked, breathless.

“It’s the best thing.” She squeezed your hand, her smile softening. “Come on, let’s get out of here before we freeze to death.”

You followed her back to the car, your fingers still intertwined. The night seemed less cold now, the darkness less threatening.

For the first time in what felt like forever, you weren’t afraid of falling.

💌 thank you for reading!!! 💌

you can find my other writing on ao3!

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 2 episode 1 [What Can The Damned Really Say to the Damned] - part 4/4

- And now... Mood shift, setting change, back to Dubai, 2022, and the 77 year-long lie. And lord oh lord, we jump right into it with the shot of the bedroom being a cell and Armand selling Louis' art without even telling him the works are up for sale. Greaaaat. This is gonna be fun.

[Louis] "'Could I see the pages we removed? Of Claudia's diaries?'

[Armand] 'We made an agreement.'

[Louis] 'I don't know what else is blurred or misremembered.'

[Armand] 'My name is in some of those pages.'

[Louis] 'I sit across from him and reckon with the knowledge I don't know what other misrememberings made into it. I won't share them with him but I need to read them again.'"

Brb, need to SCREAM. Oh, the control Armand us exercising over Louis... The way he micromanages every aspect of his life. The way Louis has to bargain for everything he wants, and the way he thanks (thanks!!!) Armand for every breadcrumb thrown his way. The way Armand cares more about his image, his reputation, his grip on Louis, than Louis' well-being and peace of soul and mind. And the way the scene is shot and designed, the bars behind the bed and the skyscraper settling, the lack of any colors and any homey furniture, the huge bed with an ocean separating them, contrasting with the comfy house and room of 1132 rue Royale, and how Lestat and Louis used to sleep entwined in each other's embrace... I will go mad.

- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE ENTRANCE HAND IN HAND, ARE THEY SERIOUS. Oh, this is too hilarious. And how they drop the hands as soon as they're seated, yeah, real convincing, fellas.

- Oh, Devil's Minion's crumb! Armand responding to Daniel by mimicking his "Yeah" and those big eyes looking so amused and fond at that old man. Couldn't care less about the Loumand, I'm here for the Devil's Minion. What a performance, Louis rubbing Armand's shoulder, lmao.

- Daniel shutting down Armand immediately is hilarious. "Sure, sire, you're on the record, but you still haven't made an appearance in the story so for now stfu and wait for your turn". No wonder Armand goes crazy about Daniel, that guy doesn't know how to be afraid. And second shoulder pat, Lou, hon... You're enjoying this, aren't you. You are enjoying the way Daniel puts Armand back in his place, something you haven't managed to do in years, despite what you both like to pretend.

- Oh, I love that piece of music! That one is "The Whole World Was Ready to Return" and it is gorgeous. It's played here, as Claudia and Louis go to Paris, and at the end, when Louis issues his threat/warning to the vampires in Dubai. Very thematic. The music in s2 is different from the music in s1, by the way. S1 soundtrack had very folk/blues undertones, New Orleans style, while s2 is much more orchestral/symphonic, Paris style. The music adapts itself to the setting, and I adore that. It gives so much more texture to the story.

- [Louis] "The war had turned off the lights, stripped its streets of their beauty, sent its avant-garde into exile. But now, the whole world was ready to return, to remake their lives. Pilgrims, on their hopeful way."

Nah, the avant-garde, at least artistic, was there, just, waaay underground or dangerously flirting with censorship and hidden meanings. In Paris itself during the war, there were several plays written and played against fascism while the Gestapo was patrolling the streets. Notably, though conflictingly, Jean Anouilh's famous "Antigone", in 1944, Josephine Baker singing and spying , as well as Sacha Guitry, who was arrested after the Liberation and accused of collaboration without any evidence, but who managed to save a lot of Jewish artists and personalities by playing double agent, or good ol' Sartre (who hilariously makes a cameo later on in the show) who writes a lot of stuff between '40 and' 44. Anyway. There's more but I ain't have time right now to do serious research. Back to Louis.

- [Louis] "'I wanna say something to you. I don't need to hear anything back I just need you to hear me. Hard words and soft words. The hard. Our life is shit. It's been shit. It is shit. It's gonna be shit again. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one's watching, no one cares. A shit life beats no life. But where we're going now we can't be running away again. Doesn't mean we forget what we saw. What she did in front of us. I see you going that way I'm gonna pull you back. I don't need that from you. As long as you walk the Earth, I'll never taste the fire, you understand me? We're going to find others like us. Aind if it ain't here, cos life is shit, or I fuck it up again, or you fuck it up, we'll go to the next place. We can't be the only good ones out there. Soft words. If you were the last vampire on Earth... it would be enough. It's you and me. Me and you. You and me. Me and you. You and me.'"

And my hallucination of your dead father.

Anyway that's his child, that's her parent.

Gotta give it to Louis tho, he doesn't lie. Embellishes, obfuscates, but lying, no. As long as Claudia's alive, he's not gonna try the sun. But if she dies... All bets are off.

Also Louis is right and hey, actually needed to hear that right now, thanks bae. Now someone needs to tell him back his own words, I think he needs to hear it back.

Episode insider:

Jacob talking about the heart full of sugar and how he spent the rest of the night on a sugar high is so adorable and hilarious when the part that comes next is Dreamstat. Also hey, "Dreamstat" was coined by Jacob himself, nice!

[Jacob] "Anne Rice's vampires are so human. This is kind of a departure from these sort of beautified, glamorous vampires. It's just really fun." - yeah, I like the glam vamp, but the monstrous vampire, a bit like Mike Flanagan does in Midnight Mass, is also a thrill.

Love Delainey saying she loved doing her stunts and all the physical stuff!

[Assad] "Armand wants to protect himself, but also wants to protect his relationship with Louis, what they have. He feels he has no choice except to come in, sharing the narrative with Louis." - yep. Protecting himself. Protecting what he has with Louis, even at the expanse of Louis' own will. Because what does Armand fear above all else? To be unloved. Not necessarily alone, like most vampires, but to be considered unlovable and unworthy of people's care. So if he can't be sure that people's feelings for him are genuine, he will orchestrate and manipulate them to tie them to himself. That's Armand's schtick.

season 1 masterpost

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7 | episode 8

[frankendykez]

What r ur oc stories about?

OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it

Forgotten Man's Symphony

his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."

i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,

Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor

idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..

in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless

domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior

somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..

i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!

i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!

The Epinicium

THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions

so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER

basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.

fin.

anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops

[deth-of-a-junkie]

i have a lot of postal dude headcanons, so ive split them up.

so heres my postal 1 dude headcanons

p1 dude has a special interest on the jets and weaponry used in ww2 and the vietnam war, but also the U.S military as a whole. he specifically likes to collect vintage U.S military memorabilia and propaganda. he can go on for hours about the faults of the government and government greed and corruption, he hates the system. he also knows a lot about JFK assassination theories and will go on for hours about them.

oh yeah. postal 1 dude is autistic.

he also has a spin on guns. he knows them all by name and loves to learn about different manufacturers and how each one are built. he knows how to deconstruct them and put them back together. he even has some guns he's made himself. legal? probably not. he doesnt care.

p1 dude also prefers reading in books for information instead of searching the web for them, so amongst the mess of his house is just piles upon piles of books.

p1 dude also is great at poetry. he loves writing too, which is why i think he started his diaries.

he also loves drawing! he loves going out and drawing scenery the most, he also likes drawing nude figures. he finds the human body to be interesting.

p1 dude is religious. im divided on if i see him as someone whos spiritually aligned closer to catholics (though i wouldnt call him a straight up catholic, he doesn't like the church.) or pagen.

talking about pagen dude, correct me if im wrong, i dont know much about pagenism (but ive been trying to learn more as of recent), but he specifically worships greek gods. out of the gods, his favorite is ares.

he hangs around poostall dude a lot. they arent really friends, they're kinda opposites of each other, but poostall looks up to him as a mentor in philosophy among other things.

he used to be active in his local punk scene when he was younger. he has a lot of cds and tapes of obscure bands that almost no one has heard of.

he loves metal more then anything though, and he also has a large collection of horror films (all on vhs, a few of dvd. he doesnt have his dvd player plugged in so he only uses it if he has too. also refused to buy blueray. if its the only option he burns it onto a disk himself.).

his favorite genres of metal are melodic death metal and prog metal. i would also say dsbm but i feel like thats too corny. he loves opeth. also death.

he's non-speaking most of the time by choice. the older he's gotten the more he started to isolate himself, and he usually chooses to ignore people when theyre talking and not respond at all, mainly just people who ask for directions and stuff on the street he'll just ignore. he just doesnt feel the need too, he likes to stay invisible.

talking about that, he hates leaving his house. it used to be because of anxiety but it slowly became due to his other mental health issues getting worse, especially his fear of everyone being out to get him/everyone else being demons/whatever your interpretation of his reasonings behind postal 1 is.

3 in one shampoo. also uses hand soap to shave instead of shaving cream. also uses hand soap to wash his face...

he needs glasses. his sunglasses also has his normal prescription lenses in them, his eyes are sensitive to light so he chose to make them sunglasses too (i believe this is possible. if its not, well it is now). he also has a 2nd pair that are just normal glasses, he uses them only to read or when he's walking around his house at night. (this is totally not me self reflecting with the realization that i just found out i need glasses..../s)

I DONT KNOW HOW I FORGOT TO MENTION but also has a special interest on nuclear disasters, nuclear power plants, and radiation. theyre not separate theyre all apart of one fixation that branches off the core idea of nuclear power. like he cant have one without the other. if that makes sense.

also uses he/they. he doesnt out right say it, he doesnt use social media so its not like, in a bio or anything. he just naturally picked it up. will also accept she being used to refer to himself, but is not something he states publicly or asks people to do. he was surrounded by the queer community growing up as most of his highschool friends were apart of the community so he just one day realized he wasnt opposed to it being used in reference to himself.

he is an ASSHOLE. he used to be more considerate in his youth but the older he got the grumpier he got. he is SCARY when he insults someone. like he will have an entire ass speech of him just degrading someone until they literally have nothing left to say for themselves.

doesnt get angry though. he's calm when hes upset and frustrated, or will straight up just make fun of and make harsh jokes about the situation (i mean that like. if he gets into a disagreement with someone on the street he will laugh at them and mock them by teasing them. thats what i mean.)

[euniexenoblade]

Mordred do you have any anime or manga recommendations you havent talked about recently?

I feel like there's a lot of anime I never talk about for one reason or another, like RN I'm writing up a whole thing about maidime (maid anime) for my anime blog and if I ever get it done then yay but it's dragging lmao

But yeah, I really liked the adaptation of Children of the Whales, the world building is insane and the animation was so spectacular for a TV anime. Really stands apart from most shows.

I really like the show Erased. Time travel and time loops aren't that uncommon but still I felt that Erased found a really neat way to tackle the topic of it. It's a real fucked up story so trigger warnings for child murder and serial killer shit, but for real spectacular show. Basically there's a serial killer and dude goes back in time to be his kid self and uses his adult knowledge to try and stop the killer.

I mention this show plenty I think but I always need to sing it's praises, Humanity Has Declined is probably in my top 15 TV shows. It's such a fun, bright take on a post apocalypse and it's so funny. If you take anything away from this post, watch this show. Whenever I try to compare it to anything, the only thing I can think of is Adventure Time, it's a bright whimsical comical telling of happenings after an apocalypse. Though plot wise it's nothing like AT so, maybe the comparison isn't the best. But essentially the protagonist is a UN representative to go between the remaining humans and the newly evolved fairies. The arcs are in reverse chronological order and its lovely tbh lol.

Time of Eve is one of the first shows I really hooked into. It got rereleased as a movie, so whatever version you find is right. But it's about a world where there's robot house keepers and shit and one day the protag follows his robot to a coffee shop where robots meet and have the ability to be free. It's very nice and I should rewatch it I haven't seen it in a long ass time.

To get that yuri rep in there, if you've never watched Maria-sama ga Miteru (Maria Watches Over Us) you gotta drop your toes in. It's four seasons but you'll know if it's for you or not right away. A girl attends an all girls Catholic school and gets caught up in the student council and the personalities in it. Imo this is the premier Class S yuri and I love this series so much.

I could go on and on honestly.

As for manga, I'd say my manga opinions are very known cuz I post all sorts of screencaps and shit as I read, but considering most of that was on my old blog.

Read Liberta. Just do it. Vampire lesbian escapism fantasy. It's awesome.

The Summer Hikaru Died is a gay horror. Basically a dude's best friend goes missing and then suddenly turns back up months later. But the dude knows it's not his friend because he saw his friend's dead body in the forest. That's not a spoiler, that's like 4 pages in. It's phenomenal.

I think I see people try to disparage it these days, but Future Diary was a really good read. Dude ends up in a weird game where his cell phone tells the future and he has to kill other people who have prophetic phones (and vice versa) so they may become a new god. But on top of this one of the players is a yandere girl obsessed with being with him. The anime adaptation is good too just be ready for them to show. Too much. Watch the TV show version and not the Blu-rays, they uncensored stuff in the Blu-ray and it's such a weird decision when you see it.

Goodbye Eri and Look Back are both one shots by the Chainsaw Man author. Both deal with losing someone dear to you at a young age and both handle it in completely different ways. Both are fantastic though.

I could go on and on and on

[physalian]

Vampires could be time capsules of what people looked like at various points in history and I know live action vampire media cannot be bothered, but books and cartoons have no excuse.

Vampire Diaries does not pride itself on its efforts at historical accuracy (like putting horses in Virginia ten centuries ago) and I believe I’ve complained about this before. But give TVD a budget and a creative team like the earlier seasons of GOT and then when you tell me your cast has thousand-year-old Viking vampires, you can prove it.

Randomly looked up what Alexander the Great looked like at 5:30am and part of the description was that he was probably around 5ft tall. But you think of him and you probably picture some six-foot-two Adonis. People were just shorter back then.

Give a human immortality and though most vampire media makes them maybe 200-500 years old, because most vampire media likes to focus on how they were interwoven into the last few centuries of our history, humans 500 years ago still looked different!

It would be such a small thing, and the whole point of vampires interacting with humans is the whole ‘blending into society’ aspect, invisible predators, so they’d have grown used to the fashion and customs of the era, but while you can get a haircut, you can’t stroll up to a plastic surgeon’s office.

Things like, vampires with rare genes that haven’t been seen in centuries, because it’s recessive and died out. Vampires who still talk with the accent or language they grew up with, or can call it back when they want to, even though it’s been a dead language for generations. Or a language that was never written down, oral traditions that only this one person remembers.

Dances that have been lost to history, craftmaking, survival skills, herbal knowledge.

I explored some of this very, very briefly with my vampires, because mine reach 700, 800, 900 years old easy, and I really want to give it due justice.

Usual vampires are some variety of either recent American, or some bougie French or English gentleman who can only comment on the Victorian era. I didn't like Castlevania: Nocturne very much, the hero team was just comparatively less compelling, but I adored the diversity of the vampire species and kept watching specifically to see what would happen with Olrox.

Like, there is enough vampire romance media out there about how this immortal 17-year-old cannot control his animalistic nature even with 200 years of practice.

I want a story about some anthropologist with a hyper fixation on a culture that they only know exists through anecdotes from the other societies that destroyed it, only for a thousand-year-old vampire to go “ya I still remember where my house stood, here I’ll show you.” (and I do have this near exact scenario already planned for my book)

“Oh, Atlantis? Yeah, shame about that one. This one time I was there…”

Atlantean vampires would be so cool.

Like, Interview With the Vampire, but less…. Less.

[starzzmissthesun]

Since you asked I have to tell you abt this story I came up with like 4-5 years ago and have held so deep in my heart since! The characters are literally a part of me atp. So the main character is named Margaret Lainey and the whole story is basically in the format of her diary, it's 14 entries within the month of February and let's just say I put her through it😭. She starts off the journal entry explaining how she has to start writing in the journal as recommended by her therapist who she sees bc of a suicide attempt... yeah

And towards the the first half of the entries you see her getting better up until Valentine's day, a very pivotal part of the story, where everything just starts going down hill.

A lot of it as to do w/ her unrequited love, she's head over heals for this girl Lydia, who she believes is straight, now obviously Lydia not returning her feelings isn't the only reason she goes off the deep end, it just sets back on all the things she still hasn't healed from, considering she's been struggling for a looooonnng time.

What's a really devastating part of the story is also Margaret's best friend Jamie, now Jamie is a trans, mtf, but as the whole story is told in Margaret's perspective its unknown to her and the reader which means Jamie is dead-named and misgendered the entire time (shes still super important and gets her own story bc ive always wanted to also write a sequel for her) so Jamie is like really in love w/ Margaret, a lesbian, but Margaret thinks Jamie is a boy the whole time :(

At the end of the story the last chapter/entry is a suicide note, Margaret kills herself which is definitely foreshadowed throughout even though you also think she's gonna be better by the end, but unexpectedly it's actually a double suicide w/ Jamie so after reading the 1st part ur supposed to be like hello what!?!? Hence the sequel which is Jamie's story

I love them both sm, I have story names and outlines but I never feel confident enough to do their story justice😓

The story names have been the same since I came up with it

Part one: Through My Eyes, Love Margaret Lainey

Part two: Through My Eyes, Love Jaime Blue

So now that background story rant is out the way (sorry its so long😭😭) here are some fun facts abt them

Margaret

Her favorite colors are green and yellow, she paints her nails purple and blue and black constantly and always has them chiped from picking away at them,she cuts her own hair so it's always really choppy, she's got tons of beauty marks but she doesn't like them, her favorite books are No longer human by Osamu Dazai, The Catcher in the Rye, and Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh, her favorite movies are Coraline, Heathers, Thirteen, and Girl Interrupted, she enjoys reading, photography, and collecting odd things, some of her favorite songs are Cigarettes out the window, Death of a party girl, I'll die anyway, Change (in the house of flies), Ptolemaea, she's constantly humming and writing on her arms, she's got a horrible sleep schedule and bad trust issues and horrible self perception/esteem, she loves to take pictures of Lydia whenever she sees her even though she knows it's odd and she shouldn't, her loves to hang out with Jamie, it always makes her feel content

Jamie

Her favorite colors are light pink and red, her favorite books are The picture of Dorian Gray and Speak, her favorite movies are As You Are and the Corpse Bride, she also loves horror movies even through they give her nightmares and make her keep her feet strictly under the blankets at night, some of her favorite songs are Heather, Family line, I can't handle change, Christmas kids, Heart to Heart, Out of Touch, and Sailor Song, she loves fashion and wants to have an odd shoe collection one day, she paints her toe nails red constantly with a stolen bottle of polish, she likes to sit in her closet with a blanket and a flashlight with a book like a little kid, she hates looking at herself in the mirror, she loves to hang out at the park with Margaret, swinging on the swings and pretending like it's a date just for five minutes

There's sm more to say and I also have a character sheet for Lydia cause she's actually great but I think this is all it's gonna be, if you actually read this whole thing ur kinda the best cause I ranted sm 😭

Oh my GOD!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!! GENUINELY GOT A PARAGRAPH IN AND STARTED SHAKING A BIT CAUSE I GOT SO EXCITED!!!!!! THIS IS SUCH!!!! A COOL IDEA!!! I ACTUALLY LOVE THE WHOLE DIARY ENTRY CONCEPT SO MUCH!!!!! THIS SOUNDS SO AMAZING AND COOL!! I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS SO MUCH??? GENUINELY I LOVE THE UNRELIABILITY OF MARGARET???? AND THE STORY ITSELF IS SO COOL? I WOULD LOVE TO READ THIS ACTUALLY, LIKE COULD BE A BOOK IT'S SO INTERESTING??? AND LIKE I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE FORESHADOWING YOU COULD PUT IN HERE? I ALSO LOVE HOW YOU HAVE SUCH A GRASP ON THE CHARACTERS? LIKE THEY FEEL REALLY REAL. UGH I ACTUALLY REALLY WANNA KNOW MORE!!!! I TRUST YOU COULD DO THIS JUSTICE🙏LIKE YOU HAVE SUCH A GRASP OVER THE WHOLE THING, AND IT'S GOT SO MUCH TO IT? I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD PICK YOUR FAV CHAPTER THAT YOU THINK COULD DO THE BEST AND START FROM THERE!!!! (also if you have any character designs lmk cause I'd draw them for you totally:D) ugh this is actually so amazing, if you ever wanna say more, feel free!! Cause id be ECSTATIC!!! Also, I really love the idea that it's almost destined for her to die, but it's so unexpected when she does. :DD

[sunfl0wer-h0ur]

Finn headcanons #3!!

I miss writing sm so im going to start back up with some Finn headcanons YIPPIIEEEEE

☁ sfw(ish)

Tw: Drinking mention also a small SH mention!

❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼

He has a VERY sensitive body

From sides to thighs this man will squeak or whimper if you touch him

I feel like he might have a back tattoo or maybe like a spine tattoo

If he were to have tattoos then it would be an assortment of sigils, flowers, or sun and moon styled things

He hates having to repeat himself multiple times

Not because its annoying he just thinks he's being tricked into being bullied

THE BEST AT HOLDING DRINKS

Speaking of..

He's a sucker for wines

He's doesn't drink too much but when he does he always drinks responsibly

gets very drunk fast

He goes from really happy and silly, to very deep

He fears of grey hair

Like terrified

If you noticed a grey hair on him quickly pull it and say it was a bug

He loves any kind of cat

Bald, long hair, short hair doesn't care loves them all

He likes BIG dogs

Cries when he's frustrated

He has a whole bunch of scrapped love letters for Sunflower in his diary

Sunflower found them and adore them all

Finn was very embarrassed about them but Sunflower comforted him

Catch him watching Max and Ruby

He cares a lot about his skin

*Mumbling to himself* "Ok so we do this sugar scrub first then I get in the shower and wash it off, following my exfoliator soap, after my shower I-"

"Finn!"

"Huh what! Oh sorry dearest I'm already planning tomorrows skincare routine"

No but seriously he knows his stuff

Finn and Roblox bro

He loves Fantasia (Projecting..)

And DTI (Also projecting...)

He's a bit trash but let him cook

Hates to say it but he likes it when you bite him

Yeah it hurts but like...

He's good friends with other florists around the area

Except one...

This one old florist women hates his guts because he tripped on one of her plants and he felt so awful and cleaned it up

What made it worse is that he got scolded even after he cleaned it up

OMG it came to me that Finn would love Bon Iver

He finds night time ambience so soothing

Ik if Finn was an animal he'd be a rabbit but I feel like a deer would work also! (I'm very hyper fixated on deers and rabbits rn)

Don't leave him alone when he's sad I feel like leaving him alone is going to make him feel worse

Instead let him lay on you

Brush or play with his hair

Tell him he's such a good boy and you'd never let go of him

He likes to pinky promise things

Eye kisses giving or receiving <33

Loves to get his eyebrows stroked (sorry if this doesn't make sense)

Also petting his nose

He doesn't hide his hickeys

Unless you're both going to his parents house

Tbh

He has strict religious parents

If he's every overwhelmed his Grandma is the next block over so he will walk over there rain or shine

When he was little I bet he called his Grandma "Mimi"

Fought through depression from his teen years till he got over his toxic relationship

Might delete this headcanon but he has and covers his southern accent

Mimi was definitely living in the countryside till he was born so she moved to watch him

It comes out when he's angry or tipsy

He has scars on his arms and legs from a mix of things

Some are from his childhood clumsiness from tripping to scraping himself on trees

Some are from when he broke up with his ex and he lead to SH as a coping mechanism

He's doing so much better and he's proud of himself for that

Tried grilling

Didn't go well (he made the steak burnt but also raw?)

He sticks to baking and homecooking

I bet he knows how to make a good bread

Ohh man...Finn in a apron

Teaches you how to cook as a way of showing his affection

Spa days wear you both wear face masks do each others nails and gossip

Y'know...silly stuff ❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀❀𖤣𖥧𖡼

Guys tysm for waiting for a fanfic to post I'm so sorry for leaving but the king of Finn headcanons is back!!

[vanikey]

im having Thoughts abt my living situation (past, present, and future) and im gonna ramble abt it on tumblr bc this blog is my diary

ive Officially lived on my own since april 2023 and i love it so much !!!!!! (tho if rent goes up any more and my job continues to have shit pay i may not get to anymore but anywayssss...) growing up i always wanted to live on my own but as i aged i grew fearful i wouldnt be able to bc of lack of independence emotionally, physically, and financially but i did it and i was worried id end up hating it or be lonely but no it fucks severely

that being said i loved living in my childhood home but couldve done with less constant people time LOL (or just more freedom ig) and then in college i lived with friends the whole time and that was a bit rocky for a while but the last few years (in the attic apartment) were amazing and i was sad to leave but at the same time i knew i had to if i wanted to eventually get my own place and i also had some fears abt my roommate (he hates living alone absolutely hates it and i loved living with him and hes said repeatedly he loved living with me but a part of me always wonders if thats bc it was me or if anyone wouldve done? like any friend/person that would spend time with him idk) (if my friend is reading this no youre not) (and it worked out anyway bc he moved states like a year or so after we stopped living together so i wouldve had to leave the attic apartment anyway lol) then i lived with my parents again and eventually found a job i lowkey hate but am usually neutral abt and got my own place and yeah!!

the Thing is one of my sisters and i always talked abt our dream houses and one day she merged it into us living together and also me helping her whenever she decides to have a kid (i offered to if we would be living together)(despite me not being comfortable with kids really idk i have 6 nieces/nephews aged 8 and under but i still dont know how to interact with them and am scared of babies and wont even hold them if theyre less than 6 months and even then it makes me so nervous) ANYWAYS i promised her id help her (even if its just like cleaning around the house or stuff like that) and maybe even try with baby/kid stuff bc shes planning on being a single mom

the thing is i knew she was being 100% serious and i do mean what i said but i also dont think i really Realized and also i may have been thinking hypothetically/jokingly kinda? without realizing? that that could be my actual future?? and shes potentially looking at getting a house rn and i wouldnt be moving into it anytime soon but she was asking me if id like to one day and is asking me abt stuff and it hit me like Oh Shit and i also realized her proposed deadline for starting to have her own kids is coming up in the next like 2-ish years (shes in her mid thirties) and im like. i actually dont want any of that lol

like i Just got out on my own? and id like to remain that way for a long time if possible? potentially forever?? and thinking on it if i ever got a house of my own i imagine itd be smaller and stuff and like the places we've talked abt id have my own space for sure like basically a mini apartment/basement scenario but thinking on it now i dont think thats good enough for me? bc someone will still be there living with me even if it is like upstairs or whatever and will be wanting to spend time with me that i may not want to be sharing (this was the first 18 years of my life lol) and not only that but there will be at least one if not two kids and ive never lived with anyone younger than me for an extended period of time and ahhhhhh

idk just having realizations ig and idk if theyll change or if I'll have to break her heart or if I'll have to put up with living with ppl again idkkkk

[theodoraflowerday]

heartstopper s3e4 live episode reaction 😭

fine. time to watch what's widely considered the best heartstopper episode so far

know I will probably not be rewatching this because I'm already at a level of sobbing that might wake up my mom

nellie makes me so happy

not tara being the one telling nick to start journaling

oh my god it's gonna be literally all of journey. like the diary entries and all. oh my god I see it. oh my god that's gonna WRECK ME

NOT ALL THREE OF THEM SITTING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER BABIES

god

literally none of this is okay I feel like I'm a faucet that's open all the way I can barely see the screen

not him and nellie

bro I could really use a sarah hug right about now

THE RUGBY LADS NOOOOOO

IMOGEN KEEPS SENDING ME COUPLES COSTUME IDEAS AKDJSKFJSKFIDLFIF bro immy's so cute I wanna keep her in my pocket forever

tara is an angel

NOT BARBIE AND KEN AKDJDKFJDOF IMOGEN I LOVE YOU

not the creepy moos skfusofjslfjdkfj

okay that was....... way too sad

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS. NICK NELSON LOVES CHARLIE SPRING.

nick's drinking??? oh honey no

OH MY FUCKING GO D

OH Y GOD

OGMYNFLFKDLFKD THEYRE DKIISIMG

IMOGENSAHAR TEAAAAAMMMMMM

what's their name? I'm going with zaheaney

OH NO SHES THROWING UP AND TALKING ABOUT EXPERIMENTATION NOOOOOOOO

oh god that is horrifying

this is giving me so much anxiety

(tarcy as Shrek and Fiona are goals tho)

oh nO

DONT FUCKING

I'LL KILL MYSELF

NICK BABY NOOOOOOOOO

god

yeah this isn't good

"your marvel agenda is never gonna work on me" it still might, let me introduce y'all to billy kaplan and teddy altman

NOT THE KPSIDD DOWN KISS please can we have nick as MJ

"aw, can't I play the mental illness card?" "nope, the s-word rules still apply to the mentally ill" bro i wish I had nick and charlie when i was younger

im never gonna stop crying am i

no I'm never gonna stop crying

god

this isn't good i might genuinely dehydrate

not the backwards bit

oh god

yeah it does feel a bit like you're fractured doesn't it

tori helping to decorate charlie's room :(

god

GEOFF HI

I keep having to pause. like little sobbing breaks. why is this hitting me so hard.

"he's my favorite. your friends are annoying but I like him" nicktori :(

susan is so awesome

"you were having your summer of love, it's not a crime" "well, i love You too" :( charlie and tao :(

"but I missed it" god I keep going into sobbing spirals bro

"can you explain to me what happened with imogen and sahar? because nick was being way too empathetic about it and I actually don't really know what happened" LMFAODKDLDKSLFJSLFJSLFJSLFJ

to be fair to nick he had to hold immy's hair up while she threw up and cried about it so he prob doesn't have the most objective perspective

A WHOLE BOTTLE OF TEQUILA oh my god I was drinking a Lot at 16 and that's still way beyond anything that should be happening at that age

NOT TAOS FILM I'M GONNA DIE

BODNFLSKF NO

"but i wasn't prepared and I cried for about four hours" isaac describing me watching this episode

BARBIE AND DRACULA SEEN MAKING OUT AT A HOUSE PARTY

CUT THE CAMERA ITS BREAKING MY DOCUMENTARY CODE OF ETHICS

IS THAT HOW DARCY TOLD THE GROUP THAT THEYRE USING THEY/THEM PRONOUNS? YOU CANT BE FR

DARCY OLSSON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IN THE MOST NONBINARY WAY POSSIBLE

oh my god tao's gonna become a trash reality producer when he's older, he's got eye for The Drama™

NOT NATHAN AND YOUSSEF LEAVE THEM ALONE WEIRDOS SKFIDUGIDUGODJGDLGJDLGK

"we have a lot planned" "we do? oh god" lmao I love them

that little hug I love nick and charlie so much :(

SUSAN I LOVE YOU

oh my god tori holding out her hand

SPRING SIBS SUPREMACY

WHERE'S THE "haha, since when is anything I do straight?" LINE ALICE HOW DARE YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEE

(it'd also be missing michael and olly so. yk. yeah nvm let's keep it)

oh wow that was a long ass hug

well

I haven't cried this hard with an episode of television since............ I don't know since when lmao

honestly genuinely this might be the hardest cry I've done all year so thanks for that

[cantevenbeachhere]

Dear Ken Diary,

So I did something today for like the first time ever, and I’m not proud of it. But! I had a good reason! And it wasn’t like I chose to do it; it just happened before I even realized I did it.

You ready for this? You’re not ready for this. I wasn’t even ready for this. Here it goes…

I fainted.

Dude. I fainted. Eyes rolled to the back of my head, fell ungraciously backwards, and I’m pretty sure my feet kicked up and out after I fell. You know like

Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. Thankfully though! No one got it on camera, so I’m safe there.

But the reason why it happened to begin with was because Artist Ken was moving his painting supplies to a different room in the Mojo Dojo Casa House that waded more suited for painting, and one of the Kens helping him accidentally spilled like 5 pints of paint on my fauxjo mojo mink coat! 😱

I know! Not the coat! But yeah, the coat.

After I was revived, Ken and Artist Ken apologized like a bunch of times which I really appreciated, and then! We rushed my poor coat to the cleaners. The Barbie who runs the cleaners - Cleaned to the Nines - was like…I think the best word is flabbergasted. Which is also like a really fun word to say. Try it. Flabbergasted. Flabbergasted. Who came up with that anyway? It’s a Weird one. I like it.

Anyway, Barbie was flabbergasted. Nevertheless, she was totally confident in her ability to restore the coat to its former glory. But it was a tough job. Most jobs of hers take like 5 minutes. Mine took 15 whole minutes! It was a total nail-biter!

But finally! My beloved fauxjo mojo mink was returned to me. I’m wearing it right now. First of all, it’s totally comfortable and warm, and secondly, I’m totally rewriting the whole “patriarchy” (gag!) connection the coat has. It’s totally so much more than that!