#yeah the we ordinary people do not deserve to have a break but to pay $18 Big Mac meal because everyone said we got too rich from stimulus

[hillarysss]

- ASTRO LYRICS 🕊

placements & their true melodies 🤍

do not repost, plagiarize, “reword” my work.🕊 my work only @hillarysss do not touch.

- 🤍 Scorpio placements & Capricorn Placements & Heavy Saturn & Pluto & Pluto - Ascendant & Pluto in 1st

When you become untouchable, you're unable to touch Is there a real me? Pop the champagne It hurts me just to think and I don't do pain

- The Living Tombstone (My Ordinary Life)

- 🤍🕊 You display what you want to display but you keep a part of you quite untouchable because of what you experienced you don't wanna experience pain and despair ever again, you put up this image that is intense and admirable because you put a lot of effort and dedications to things... you find it hard not to get obsessed with what you love.. you learnt this the hard didn't you? When you put so much love into things you loose yourself and your dignity in the process and you loose yourself in the intense reactions other people have made of you thus making you question your worth. Don't you know how much power you have? The jealousy you've experienced.. people projecting on you because of your burning desire to do things you lost who you were in expectations that you made of yourself and that others have made of you.. say no to that and own your power.

- 🤍 Virgo placements & Aquarius placements & 6th house & 11th house placements & Uranus Dominance

Perfection is so quick to bore You are my beautiful, by far Our flaws are who we really are

- I hear a symphony (Cody Fry)

- 🤍🕊You've always been somewhat different in the ways you think and act since a young age.. you were analytical and saw through things no one else could because of your innovative mind. At such young age you've had to dim your ways of thinking because of other's expectations and the duty you've had to serve since young may have taken a toll on who you are today and you constantly feel what would happen if you were to just break free from society and the cruel world. You have a beautiful heart that humankind doesn't deserve. You've always been that person to give a hand out when needed but were those favors retreated? Tell me.. how many times you've tried to fit in? You don't have to please anyone and loving yourself is a mission for you. How many times people have stolen what you've done and taken credit for it? Embrace yourself and say fuck you to anyone else and only do things for you. Embrace your "weird" side"

- 🤍 Leo placements & 5th house placements & Sun dominants & Sagittarius placements & 9th house placements & Jupiter dominants & Sagittarius dominants

I've been catching planes for the fun of it Then I'll be watching fame turn to punishment The weather's only sunny when I'm under it And I haven't really changed, yeah I'm just confident I'm just fucking lucky I was born with it

Into it - (Chase Atlantic)

🤍🕊You have learned that running from responsibilities isn't any fun and you have to fear the dark side at times and the dark side can come from when you least expect it. You are most secretive than given credit for, you put up this pretty image with amazing charisma and you display wisdom and knowledge.. it's hard not to look up to you.. but eventually you create this standard that you always have to shine bright and that negative emotions aren't welcomed.. you repress emotions.. you have learned that you shouldn't always follow what the crowd wants. Sometimes you wish you could just go unnoticed but it's hard not to pay attention to you.. you've always felt like escaping huh? Wishing you were someone else.. while everyone wants to be you.. most people misunderstand your life and think it's all luxury because of that pretty image you put up.. it couldn't be farther from the truth.. you were gifted with wisdom and creative talents from youth.. use them

-🤍 Cancer Placements & Major 4th house placements & Pisces placements & 12th house placements & Moon - Pluto

You can hold my hand If no one's home Do you like it when I'm away? If I went and hurt my body, baby Would you love me the same?

Line without a hook- (By Ricky Montgomery)

🤍🕊 You have been gifted with the ability to love so much that your own persona becomes a blur and you loose yourselves in the ones you love you'd dare sacrifice yourself for them.. but have your ways of love always been given back? Perhaps.. you've found yourself staying a bit longer than you should in situations where you were giving too much? Does that hit a bell? Oh.. this is why you've built up walls because you're afraid you'd be used for your love again.. yes? You've always provided a home for people even if you yourself didn't have a stable home emotionally and mentally.. you always dared to care and love and nourish.. you were always watering dead plants.. you have had to learn so early on that not everyone has such big heart like you.. have you went so far for people who didn't really like you the way you thought? Use your ways of loving and your intuitive abilities for what's best and don't water dead plants.

-🤍 Libra placements & Venus dominance & Taurus placements & Moon in 7th & Venus in 7th

Kisses on the foreheads of the lovers Wrapped in your arms You've been hiding them in Hollowed out pianos left in the dark

Apocalypse - (By Cigarettes After Sex)

- 🤍🕊 You are naturally loved and liked that would be an understament of who you are.. You've always desired a beautiful connection when there was equal give and taken.. Your heart is beautiful your entire soul is.. who was the one who made you hide it all away? You still remember your first heartbreak don't you? Are you concerned for how others perceive you too much? Have you yet learned that love only comes within you the most? People tend to confide in you the most but who do you confide in? You were gifted with the abilities of art and aesthetics you've always tried to see everything in a better light until the darkness over took once and all you think is anxious thoughts.

- 🤍 Earth placements & 2nd house placements & 6th house placements & 10th house placements

But so broken on when you can't stop choosing To sleep through your alarms Man, you're losing your head

Sleep thru Ur Alarms (By Lontalius)

- 🤍🕊 You just need a break..you need a break from reality.. no even that sounds too little.. you need to take it slow.. all those sleepless you've spent working so hard repressing tears.. did it all start from early school years and that perfectionism to get those grades? Or maybe it's your parent's expectations.. Sure you're "grounded' but who knows when you're not? who hide it so well just for the sake of not burdening anyone.. you suffer alone aiming for the price.. the high achiever.

- 🤍 Air placements & 11th house placements & 3rd house placements & 7th house placements

Do the wires in your mind get sewn together..

Rubbed and severed by the heat

Not allowed - TV girl

- 🤍🕊 Sure you can be seen as the friend who is funny and always up to chat.. but who really knows what's going on in your mind? All those thoughts racing.. do you know how fascinating your mind is and how it works? But let's talk about the uglier side.. you are more anxious than you let on and you can't help but analyze every little thing, you may at times questioned your sanity because of what you've noticed so early on that others haven't.. At such young age, you've been on this mission to feed on knowledge but what about your emotional nourishment? You can't just feed your emotional needs with your mind.. take time to yourself...

- 🤍 Fire placements & 1st house placements & 5th house placements & 9th house placements & Mars dominance & Sun dominance

All things come to pass With time But I want everything now To be all mine

Young - (By Vacations)

- 🤍🕊 With that burning desire you've had throughout your life to accomplish so many things.. you are a true child at heart with so many dreams.. ignoring the people who have told you your dreams are unrealistic and that you'll never make it.. but you'll make it there one day.. faith is what keeps you even if it's inconsistent faith has always been your friend. The burning loyalty you give to those who dare stand by your side and how much you're willing to give. You're not the easiest but that's for a reason you want everything and you'll give everything, all because of the intense love inside you.

- 🤍 Water placements & 12th house placements & 8th house placements & 4th house placements & Neptune dominance

But the rain never came So I made with the sun The shade Always comes at the worst time

Daddy Issues - (By The Neighborhood)

- 🤍🕊 The ability to feel the environment around has it side effects doesn't it? You easily get overwhelmed and because of your kind nature you take more than what you should've taken, you struggle making time for you at times. You escape the rain and despair by sleeping or ignoring the obvious. You become foggy to those around you because you are scared of letting people in on what you really go through. Your intuition has never failed you especially with people.. so why do you still doubt it? Is it because of what you think it could be? But it isn't right? Reality can be despair, you run and run until you run out of time and you have no choice but to face the dark truths.

® Hillarysss 2021 all rights reserved

[therealvinelle]

Not a question or anything, but I was on the twilight wiki and was reading up on the immortal children and there were a lot of comments talking about how evil the volturi was for destroying them, even though in the text it said they were destroyed because they couldn't control themselves or learn to, complete with book quotes on the matter. But there were still the comments saying the volturi just killed for fun and preyed on weaker vamps. Only mentioning this because it's been brought up.

Yeah, it's... it sure is a fandom.

Only, this kind of thing isn't even unique to Twilight fans.

You get an awful lot of Harry Potter fans acting condescending towards Muggles, writing fic where the cool Death Eaters kill Muggles left and right and it's so awesome. Open just about any dark!Harry fic, and odds are you'll read about Harry realize that, why yes, Muggles don't deserve rights! Or in the light side end of fics, you'll still find Muggles being the butt of Fred and George's life-threatening pranks.

It's in the way the Muggles have a silly, dehumanizing name - not "non-magical people" the way Star Wars has "non-sensitives", but "Muggles", like some kind of homogenous, quaint group, not unlike "hobbits". It's in the way there's not a single strong, positive, Muggle character throughout canon, the ones we meet are either the butt of the joke or Dursleys. The best we get is Frank Bryce (the Riddle manor groundskeeper who dies in the prologue to Goblet of Fire. He had a life of hardships, suffered because of wizards, was depicted sympathetically. He's the only Muggle I can think of who received this level of respect). It's in the way Muggles are humorously harassed by quirky wizards or funny pranksters and that's not taken seriously if the light side is doing it. They regularly sustain brain damage from obliviates (one guy in Goblet of Fire in particular comes to mind), and that makes them the butt of the joke, not, you know, victims.

Ordinary human beings such as the readers are depicted negatively, and it lets us fall into the trap of "Man, those Muggles are lame, amirite?" even though the Muggles are us.

(I realize it's very anecdotal that I speak of fans doing this and that some people may have no idea what I'm talking about, but... check out fanfiction, or Harry Potter fandom in general, and pay attention to how Muggles are treated.)

Twilight fans looking at the Volturi going around curbing the Southern Wars before they could kill turn the planet into a hell for humans, running immortal children extinct so they couldn't destroy entire villages at a time, and killing vampires who break the law (i.e. kill people), and saying "Man, I hate the stupid Volturi! Won't someone overthrow them already?" is the same thing.

The Volturi serve our interests, like Aro or not he is a necessary evil at worst, a savior to humankind at best.

However, he is depicted negatively. Bella is our narrator and she thinks he is frightening and malicious, and as a lot of people were very young when they read these books, or just don't question their narrators, they come away thinking the Volturi are a bad thing.

That, and I think a lot of it is just poor reading comprehension. (Edit to clarify: what you're describing, that people go "why wouldn't the mean Volturi let the cute immortal children destroy villages :(" Otherwise it sounds like I'm saying "people who don't agree with my reading of Twilight are clearly idiots" which is totally what I think not the case.)

[stellar-imagines]

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝stupid rumour.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki ]

「 Bakugou who has a crush on you ― the transfer student who has trouble speaking and writing Japanese but can understand the language He helps you on your language skills and develops a crush on you. Then you heard rumours of Bakugou liking Uraraka and you started become distant.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

"I thought I told how to do this one so many times and how did you manage to fuck it up?" Bakugou groaned, looking through your midterm paper.

"I'm really trying my best but kanji is just no good for me alright?" you grumbled, snatching the paper from his hands. It was quite embarrassing to be struggling with Japanese literature and other subjects.

Sure you were born and raised in Japan but due to some business issues, your family had to move to [Preferred Country]. And to be honest, you spent most of your life in [Preferred Country] instead of Japan so you weren't really familiar with kanji at all. It wasn't only kanji, its just the Japanese language in general. You didn't have much problems talking but when it comes to reading and writing, it was a problem so when it comes to studying, you were in big trouble. You have been whining about failing your tests and Bakugou — who happened to be your personal tutor. He got tired of your whining and decided to help you in hopes of making you shut up.

You can't really tell why Bakugou decided to help you in the first place. The two of you never got along that well to begin with. The ash blonde was very competitive by nature and when you showed promise during training, he seemed to have made you his target somehow. Bakugou never actually cared about the people in the class but you were different somehow. He was always easy to rile up and you enjoy messing around with him sometimes. It was almost safe to say that you spend most of your time with him. 

Since the day you transferred into UA, you struggled with your studies. Kanji now appeared to be an alien language to you and during tests, you struggled to understand the question. Bakugou picks up the scattered paper on your desk one by one, skimming through your mistakes and assessing your performance. You didn’t do that bad and only failed Japanese History and Literature. Your scores were really low and it barely hit the passing mark. 

Sometimes you like to think that you and Bakugou had something special but you're just a transfer student. Bakugou and Uraraka probably have a relationship that you could never understand. He respects Uraraka's strength after that one incident during the Sports Festival tournament. You stared at the two who happened to be queueing for lunch, having a conversation that you can't hear from where you were sitting. After a while, you took your eyes off them and sipped your drink.

"Do you think he likes her, [First Name]?"

"I'm sorry what?" you blinked, turning your attention towards Hagakure who sat across you.

"I'm talking about Ochaco-chan and Bakugou-kun!" the invisible girl gushed, her sleeves waving about to show her excitement. You blinked a couple of times, unable to process. Judging from her tone, you assumed that she thought you understood what was going on between the two. However, that wasn't the case, you yourself are clueless.

"But [First Name]-chan and Bakugou-kun are close in their own way too! Something going on between the two of you?" Ashido who was sitting next to you decided to direct the topic towards you instead.

"Nothing is going on between us. In fact, I think at some point he's gonna stop teaching me because of how I always disturb him." you muttered with a chuckle.

"Typical Bakugou. You can still join our studying sessions if you want. My offer still stands." Yaoyorozu smiled gently. You shook your head in response and gave the same answer as you did when the black haired girl proposed the idea to you.

Originally, it was Aizawa who forced Bakugou to tutor you in the first place. You had failed your tests miserably at first and your homeroom teacher seemed to notice that you struggled with communication sometimes. And Aizawa had this crazy idea to assign Bakugou to tutor you. He had hoped that the ash blonde will grow to become more social and cooperative. Honestly, you thought that it was such a bad idea at first. Bakugou was very rough with his words, impatient and is short tempered. You've tried to be nice and dismiss his behavior but at some point you just found him very amusing. You weren't sure if the two of you actually got along well or not.

However, you like to think that you both are actually on good terms. Even though he gets frustrated whenever you struggle to solve a question, he would leave you alone and give you pointers. He also likes to reward you with small treats like your favorite snacks and drinks. Bakugou also pays attention to your behavior a lot. Since the two of you are always studying everyday after school, there will be times where you will be so worn out from training. If that's the case, Bakugou will go easier on you.

"I've heard from someone that Bakugou has feelings for her since first year." Hagakure whispered as she saw Uraraka approach the table. The conversation was cut short when your brown haired friend arrived at the table with her pork katsu don. She looked between everyone, wondering why you all grew silent all of a sudden.

"What were you guys talking about?" she asked, taking a seat next to you. Acting completely natural like a smartass you were, you decided to just continue eating your lunch as if you were never a part of the conversation to begin with.

"We were talking about how there's this rumour of Bakugou having a crush on you since first year." Ashido chirped. Uraraka let out a noise akin to surprise before waving her hands defensively.

"Wh-Wha!? That's not possible!" she said quickly before glancing over at the ash blonde and then towards you.

"Why not?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"W-Well, that's because....." the girl seemed a bit nervous and you see her glancing at Bakugou a couple of times.

You rested your elbow on the table, letting out a knowing hum. It didn't take long for you to get the hint that Uraraka might actually reciprocate his feelings. A small frown was etched on your face as you looked away from the girl seated next to you. Bakugou would never just suddenly stop to stare at someone, especially knowing that he can be caught staring. It was just as you had suspected earlier. 'To think that I thought there's something special between me and Bakugou.' you thought to yourself, keeping yourself out of the conversation while the girls teased Uraraka for getting so defensive.

The next day, Bakugou was packing his things and thinking ahead. He could already hear you grumbling something to yourself as you cleared your own desk, preparing to head back. There was a homework assigned to everyone and you will — for sure — be begging him to help you with it, even though its due in 2 weeks and you have plenty of time. Just as he was about to call out your name, Kaminari and Kirishima approached his desk.

“Hey Bakugou! Some of us are planning to go watch a movie after school, want to join?" Kirishima asked. Bakugou raised an eyebrow at this, looking slightly annoyed.

"Why would I wanna go with you extras?" the ash blonde grumbled.

"Because it will be fun! Everyone is coming right?" Kaminari turned towards the group of girls that has gathered around your desk.

"Yeah, most of us are!" Ashido chirped happily. 

"Come on Bakugou-kun! I think its a great opportunity for you and [First Name]-chan to take a break once in a while. And besides, she's been looking forward to this movie." Uraraka told the ash blonde.

Bakugou glanced over at you, seeing that you were somewhat looking forward to relax today. It was Friday, and probably the best day to take a break from all that studying. The ash blonde had been pushing you a bit too hard and maybe this is his chance. Bakugou reluctantly agreed but not before telling them to not chose some stupid movie. He shook his head, telling himself that he's not doing this just because he thinks that you deserve a break and that he likes you or anything. Just as he finished packing, he looked over towards you, seeing Hagakure approach your table with a skip.

"[First Name], let's go watch a movie! Even Bakugou is joining! Ochaco-chan just invited him." she exclaimed, motioning to the ash blonde who glared back at her. Your excitement died down a bit, glancing between your invisible friend and Bakugou.

"Um, I think I will pass! I think I'm gonna start with that homework we're given, it's gonna take me a while to finish that after all." you said, quickly gathering your items.

Seeing you leave the class quickly made him confused. Uraraka muttered about how weird it was for you to skip out on going out, especially knowing that you were all going to go watch a movie that you have been looking forward to for so long. Bakugou decided that it was not worth his time to think too much into it and leave you be. He's not your babysitter and it doesn't matter to him what you do anyways. All while he was watching movie, he was thinking about how you should've been here watching the movie.

Just when he thought your behavior on that day was only you not being your normal self ― you did something that he had never expected before. It happened on the day after the movies. He had already expected you to be knocking onto his door and begging him to explain to you about all the homeworks that were given and about that Science quiz on Monday. Sure you came to his room with a handful of your notes and textbooks ― like usual. Your hair was slightly messy from hurrying to meet up with him at the same time ― like usual. It was nothing out of the ordinary, something you both were accustomed to. You always came late, looking like you just rolled off the bed and went straight here.

It was the same old routine until he heard those words.

"Sorry Bakugou! I'm going to be studying with Momo-chan today, she's offered to partner up for the Japanese History project." you announced.

"Hah?" was all Bakugou could only respond with. He was confused. Normally, you would be begging him to become your partner because you're so used to him. What has changed in you?

"Also.....she offered to help me with my studies so you don't have to waste your time on me anymore. Thanks, Bakugou. I won't be bothering you starting from today onwards." you bowed and quickly left him behind.

'Whatever, I don't care.' was what Bakugou said to himself.

There was so much that he wanted to tell you. But he made no effort to call out to you as you hurriedly made a run for it to the elevator. He shouldn't be bothered by this so much. After all, he was only teaching you because Aizawa told him to. The ash blonde told himself that over and over but he couldn't help but longingly stare at your back as you ran away from him as if he was the plague. 'There's no turning back on this. I made up my mind to not be a burden anymore!’ you told yourself. From that point on, you made it a goal to not interact with Bakugou at all.

He was already confused to why you decided to have him to stop tutoring you in the first place. Bakugou didn't seem to bothered by it that much but it did make a lot of people ask him about what happened between the two of you. The two of you were normally seen together most of time and to see you both on your own is just weird. You were now spending time with the girls most of the time and instead of Bakugou, you had moved on to asking other people to assist you with homework.

He wasn't going to lie but the thought of you running to others and asking for help didn't sit well with him.

Today after school, you were seen in the common area doing your homework together with Yaoyorozu. Bakugou had went down from his room to get himself a drink. Now that he doesn't have to teach you anymore, he was much more free. He could finish his homework much faster than usual. Bakugou watched as you grinned happily after being praised for getting some work done. On his way to the kitchen, he passed by Kirishima who looked like he was taking a break from his own studying. 

"Hey, did you two have an argument or something?" Kirishima asked Bakugou who had opened the fridge to get his drink.

"Hah? What you on about?"

"I'm talking about [First Name]. All of a sudden you stopped partnering with her and tutoring her." the red haired mentioned as he looked over at you.

"Why should I care what she does anyway? She's not my girlfriend!" he said, glancing at you in hopes that you did not hear him at all. Lucky for him, you were too immersed in the conversation that you were having with your partner to even care about what was going on in the kitchen.

"But don't you both like each other or something?"

"Who said that!?"

"It's pretty obvious, bro."

Bakugou really doesn't want to admit it but he really likes you ― a bit too much that its starting to get obvious. He was now starting to get worried that you might catch on to his feelings. He looked at you for a moment, watching as you worked on a few tough questions, eyes narrowed at the book in front of you. It was a habit that he learned after being with you for so long and he never said it out loud but you look very cute like that. After a while, Midoriya and Uraraka joined you and Yaoyorozu. Bakugou's eyes narrowed at Midoriya who was helping you with some of the questions.

That should've been him! ― was what he told himself. 

Little did he know, you heard the commotion in the kitchen. Though whatever Kirishima and Bakugou was talking about was unknown to you, you could feel them looking at you. Shaking your head in response, you reminded yourself that you vowed to not get in Bakugou's way anymore. When Midoriya and Uraraka joined your study session, you decided to just focus on your homework now. You can’t lie about the fact that you missed Bakugou’s company. Even though he was always impatient and complaining about how slow you are, he never once left you on your own. Not to mention, he was surprisingly a great teacher.

The Bakusquad ― Bakugou never really liked and approval of that name ― were hanging out in the common area. Bakugou was here against his will, dragged by Kirishima and Kaminari who wanted to play some games together. At the dining table, a few students from Class 1-A were gathered around sharing some treats while the Bakusquad played some games by the couch. Bakugou was seated on one end of the two seater sofa, mindlessly scrolling through his phone and rethinking his life choices.

"There was this rumour that you like Uraraka or something." Kirishima mused while he looked through his phone.

"What?" Kaminari suddenly perked up, drawing his attention away from the video game.

"Hah?" Bakugou raised an eyebrow.

”I’m talking about Bakubro here!” the red head male spoke a bit louder to gain the other boys’ attention.

”Oh now that you mention it, I remember! There was this rumour going on about Bakugou liking Uraraka or something.” Sero piped up, not drawing his eyes away from the game he was playing against Kaminari.

“I thought Bakugou was dating [Last Name] already.” Kaminari pointed out.

”I know right?! I know they both like each other but are afraid to admit it.” Kirishima added in with a triumphant smile.

“No one fucking said that.” Bakugou glared at the boys who began to give him the looks.

”Come on, you were so overprotective of her at that one time when we studied in the library together!” Kirishima started, now his posture upright and eyes filled with determination.

”Oh right! When there were these random people hitting on her, you sure told them off!” Kaminari added to Kirishima’s anecdote.

”But there seems to be some tension between the two of you right now.” the blonde hummed, pausing the game to turn his attention to the conversation.

It took him that conversation to actually realize how much your ignorance has affected him. Not only did you decide not to ask for his help anymore, but you made it your mission to avoid him at all costs. You avoided sitting with him during lunch, not partnering up with him during hero training and clearly turning down invites from your friends whenever you hear that Bakugou will be joining as well. He had confronted you in front of everyone, demanding you to meet up with him. 

And of course, it was hard to run away when he asked you right in front of everyone. The only solution Bakugou came up to get you back and clear this up was to confess his undying love to you. 

You were really nervous to talk to him and for some reason, you had a feeling that you were going to have your heart broken. Bakugou, by all means, isn't oblivious and notices a lot of things around you. So it was no surprise that he realized that something is up with you and that you are ignoring him. He probably has figured out the reason behind you avoiding him already. And you couldn't help but think your reason was really dumb.

“Look, I have no idea what you’re telling but let me just say this.” you started it first, as you don’t wanna regret not saying anything any sooner.

”But I want to tell you that I don’t want to get in your way anymore. And I approve if you want to date Ochaco-chan." you were fiddling with your fingers. So you were aware of this rumour but never made the move to ask Bakugou himself if this was true and decided to just blindly believe in some stupid rumour that some random extra had spread. Bakugou almost wanted to strangle whoever did this because it gave you stupid ideas.

"You are a fucking idiot for believing in some extra's words instead of asking me. Why the hell did you avoid me instead of confront me about the rumours, hah?" the ash blonde was trying his best to remain calm and patient.

"Because.....I was afraid that those rumours are true." you admitted.

"And I'm here to tell you that its not fucking true. Round Face is madly in love with fucking Deku and she's not even trying to hide it. Everyone fucking knows that." he told you.

"So you don't like her?" you asked.

"Stop doubting my words." he flicked your forehead. You shut your eyes and rubbed at the sore spot, muttering a few words about how unnecessary that forehead flick was. Seeing how you looked very unconvinced with his words, his hands squeezed your cheeks together and forced you to make eye contact with him.

"Listen to me, you little shit. I am going to say this once and I am not going to repeat this. Because I have no fucking idea why you are so blind to all of this. You can be dumb at lot of things and frankly, I'm glad that you are." he sighed and you let out a gasp, offended by his words.

"Hey, I'm not dumb―" he cuts you off by squeezing your cheeks to the point where your words were all muffled.

"You're so helpless in your studies without me, its like you can't live without me. But it makes me feel special because you never ask someone else for help and always look for me. Even though you're shit at your studies, you have a really freaking strong quirk. You can be so fucking annoying and drive me insane sometimes but goddamn, how can you be so fucking adorable at the same time?" Bakugou started to get a bit frustrated now and he almost couldn't believe the words he was saying right now. 

You reached to grab his hands and pried them off your face to allow yourself to speak.

"I am not going to listen to you do this any further―"

Once again, Bakugou cuts you off by leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. You were startled but after a brief seconds, you started to kiss him back. It's what you imagined it to be like, sweet yet fiery at the same time. You melt into the kiss, lifting a hand to cup his cheek while he cards his hand through your hair. You were the one to pull away first, taking a deep breath and you held your gaze. Bakugou looks oddly calm but you could see the red tint on your cheeks that was starting to reach the tips of his ears.

"You're red."

"Oh shut up, you're ruining the fucking mood."

Total: 3593 words Published: 07.06.2021

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ Not angsty at all actually. At least in my opinion. We hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! We decided to let you readers decide where you're from  Hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are closed! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[elliottspond]

Ordinary Guy

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Summary: (Fluff) Reader gets stood up which leads to a conversation between them and Spencer.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Language, some self-deprecation

[Please do not steal my work. Reblogs are appreciated. Happy reading!]

You look down at your watch for what feels like the hundredth time, waiting for him to show up. He’s thirty minutes late, what are the chances of him coming now?

You come to the conclusion that you should leave, but going back to your apartment where you’ll be alone doesn’t sound appealing. Plus, you don’t have any food in your fridge and you’re starving.

Thinking of Spencer and how his fridge is always empty, you pull your phone out and debate calling him. It’s not that late, and you’re pretty positive that he hasn’t eaten yet, so you go for it.

“Hey Y/N.” As much as that man hates technology, you’ll always give him credit for how fast he picks up.

“Hey Spence.”

“You okay? Don’t you have your date tonight?”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I kinda got stood up and was wondering if you could come get me?” You move your free hand up to your face, cringing at how pathetic you probably sound. You remind yourself that it’s Spencer, though, and he would never judge you for this.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah sure.” You smile, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Where are you?” You tell him where you were supposed to meet the other guy, then hang up when he says he’s on his way.

As you’re waiting for Spencer to arrive, you can’t keep your mind from wondering why he didn’t show up. You went on a date with him before, so why would he reach out to you again if he didn’t like you? 

Because he’s an asshole.

When you see Spencer’s car pull up, you walk over and pull open the passenger door. After you settle in, you close the door with a little more force than necessary, surprising yourself and Spencer.

“You okay?” He asks cautiously, not sure if you’ll lash out at him.

“Yeah, fine. Just a bit mad.” You answer as you fasten your seatbelt. You make eye contact with him for the first time, and you notice his furrowed eyebrows. You give him a small smile that doesn’t reach your eyes to convince him, “I’m fine, Spence.”

“Okay.” He nods his head hesitantly, still not convinced but you ignore it and move on.

“Have you eaten?”

“Uh,” he thinks, but you know he doesn’t have to. You both know the answer, he just doesn’t want to tell you because that would be admitting that he’s bad at taking care of himself. And god forbid he admits that. But being a profiler and Spencer’s best friend, you can tell when he’s lying. “Yeah.”

You let out a small laugh. “Okay, yeah. And I didn’t get stood up.” You try to lighten the mood and look over at Spencer with a small smile on your face, but drop it when you see Spencer’s serious expression. “Alright, not funny. What do you want to eat?” You ask, reaching to turn on the radio and you go through the different stations.

“We could go to our diner?” He slaps your hand away when a certain song comes on. You wince, and he mumbles a quick apology to you. “I like this song.”

“Well, you’re welcome for introducing it to you. And yeah, that sounds good.” You turn up the volume, both of you nodding your heads to the beat and you’re happy that something manages to lighten the mood.

“I’m an or-di-nar-y guy! Burning down the house!” You both sing along—him horribly off-key—and you try to keep singing through your fit of laughter.

Once he pulls into the diner parking lot and parks, you two get out and walk up to the familiar diner. This has been yours and Spencer’s spot for a while now, always coming here after a case. It’s a good way to feel at home again after being gone, and it’s usually your first actual meal in a few days.

Spencer pushes the door in making the bell above ring, and you walk in with Spencer trailing. “Y/N, Spencer!” The owner of the diner calls out, walking away from another customer’s table. 

“Hi Mrs. Ellis.” You and Spencer greet at the same time as she walks up to you two.

“Did you guys just get back?” She eyes your outfit, which is different from your usual work clothes. Spencer, however, always dresses the same.

“Uh, no. We were just out and needed something to eat.” Spencer replies vaguely. Mrs. Ellis nods along, then tells you to sit down and she’ll bring coffees and your usual orders. You lead Spencer to your usual table in the back, both of you sitting down across from each other.

A silence falls over the two of you, not having the music you had in the car. You don’t want to talk about it, but you know Spencer will ask so you sit, waiting for it.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, but before you can answer, Mrs. Ellis comes up to the table. She sets down two coffee mugs, and you give her a smile as she walks away. You grab one of the mugs, taking a sip of your plain black coffee as Spencer pours an ungodly amount of sugar in his.

“I’m just a little mad.” You repeat yourself from when you got in Spencer’s car. He nods, taking a sip from his sweet coffee.

“Is this the same guy from last weekend?” He asks and you nod. Even though you do like Spencer in a romantic way, he’s also your best friend and the only person you tell everything. You feel guilty telling him about your love life, but the lack thereof makes up for it.

“Well, he’s a dick and you deserve better.” You let out a small laugh, making him smile. “So what are you gonna do now?” A general question, one you’re not sure how to answer.

He could be asking about the guy but Spencer knows you, so he also knows that you won’t see him again. The only other thing you could think of is your love life, or again, lack thereof.

“I guess I’m gonna take a break from dating. Our job takes up most of our time anyways.” You sigh, taking a sip from your coffee.

“And you have an amazing best friend who you love and who loves you.” You giggle at Spencer’s statement.

“Yes, I do have you.” You look at each other, smiling until they eventually fade. 

Spencer looks like he wants to tell you something, but he can’t for some reason. He opens his mouth, but the words get caught in his throat.

You want to tell him that it’s just you, his best friend. You know everything about each other, except the one thing you’re too scared to tell him and he’s too scared to tell you. You want to tell him that whatever he has to say, he can say it.

But you can’t—you don’t get the chance.

Before either of you can speak a word, Mrs. Ellis walks up to your table and sets your usual orders down. You and Spencer thank her, and she nods before walking away.

You take your first bite, sighing in relief that you can finally feed your grumbling stomach. “Coming here tonight might just be the best idea you’ve ever had.” You mumble through your mouthful of food.

When the two of you finish, Spencer pays for the both of you after some arguing. You wave to Mrs. Ellis as you walk out, and get back into Spencer’s car.

Spencer starts driving to your apartment, and all you can think about is what he never said. If you’ve fallen for him, it’s possible he’s fallen for you...right?

But you’re you—Y/N. And he’s Spencer, the genius boy wonder in the BAU. You’re ordinary, he’s extraordinary.

They don’t like you, Spencer. They’re your best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. You’re just Spencer, a dork who rambles on and on. They’re Y/N, the kind-hearted soul who’ll do anything to make the people they love happy. You’re an ordinary guy compared to them.

Spencer pulls up to your apartment complex, but you can’t get yourself to get out of the car. You stare straight ahead, and out of the corner of your eye you see Spencer doing the same. You’re not sure how long you guys sit there, a minute or ten, but your heart feels as if it’s going to jump out of your chest.

“What were you gonna say?” You look over at him, but he keeps his stare on the car parked in front of you guys.

“I’ll walk you up.” He ignores your question, which feels like a stab in your heart. Is he ignoring it because he’s scared to admit it, or because he knows what you’re thinking and he doesn’t feel the same way?

He opens his door first and gets out, so you follow him up to your apartment. As you walk up the stairs, you pull out your keys and unlock your door when you reach it, leading Spencer inside your apartment. He closes the door and you set your keys down, now standing across from each other.

Neither of you say anything at first, both staring at the ground. But he eventually takes a step towards you, not close enough to touch you, and you look up at him to meet his soft eyes.

“I- I was gonna tell you that you’re a good person, and that you should be careful about who you let take you out. You don’t deserve to be stood up.” His voice is soft, almost a whisper. You offer him a small smile, trying to analyze his statement.

Your heart is pounding, though, and the tension in the air blurs your thoughts. But you need to know what he means. “I know. It’s just hard with our job to find someone decent.” You say at the same volume as him, not wanting to break the bubble around the two of you.

“Maybe,” he clears his throat, “maybe you don’t have to find someone.” You furrow your eyebrows, letting him know that he needs to elaborate. “Maybe you already know someone.”

Your body suddenly feels lighter with his confession. You know he’s referring to himself, but he didn’t specifically say it was him. He’s scared.

He feels the same way.

“I didn’t know what that someone thought of me.” He takes another few steps forward so he’s standing only a few inches away. You look down at his chest, the eye contact being too much to bear, but he lifts his hand, delicately touching your chin and moving your head so you’re looking at him again.

“They love you, Y/N. More than a friend.” He pauses, hesitating to say it. Hesitating to admit that it’s him. You stand there, waiting for him. Hoping he doesn’t back out now. And he doesn’t. “I love you, more than a friend.”

“I love you too, Spencer.” His hand stays on your chin, yours moving up to connect behind his neck. He starts to lean in, but you meet him halfway to finally kiss him.

It almost doesn’t feel real, his lips against yours, but you remind yourself that it is. And you scold yourself for wasting so much time trying to find someone when he was by your side all along.

He pulls away, but still lets your foreheads rest against each other. “More than a friend?” He asks, and you can’t help but laugh as you nod.

“Yeah, Spence. More than a friend.”

[undercoveravenger]

Glass Ceilings

Pairing: Actor!Hamish Duke x Male!Reader

Requested: Yes

Original Request: “Hi for the fairy tale au could you do a Cinderella kinda story where he has a bad family but then against their wishes he goes to a party and meets the famous actor and singer hamish duke and they fall for each other”

------------------

Hamish Duke hated parties.

Well, that wasn’t really true; he didn’t hate all parties, just the galas his mother threw to raise money for one charity or another. Hamish really didn’t mind that the parties benefitted charities, but he didn’t like the way that the wealthy people who attended them used them as an excuse to show off just how much better than everyone else they thought they were.

He would avoid them if he could, but with his newly-found fame brought on by a lucky break in the entertainment industry, his mother had started dragging him along to all of her over-the-top events since she thought that her son’s fame would drive up attendance.

Of course, she had been right about that, but that also meant that Hamish spent the duration of each of the grand balls hosted in his family’s manor being mobbed by people that were far too old and had been married far too long for him to feel comfortable dancing with them.

It was one such night and Hamish had only narrowly escaped the clutches of Mrs. Smith, a wizened old woman with beady green eyes who always dug her overly-manicured nails into his shoulder when he danced with her the way an alley cat might sink its claws into a mouse, when he ran directly into one of the servers. The waiter’s tray tipped at the sudden impact, spilling champagne over them both.

(E/c) eyes widened almost comically behind the uniform black mask that all of the staff were wearing as he realized what he’d done. “I’m so sorry,” the waiter exclaimed, seeming torn between trying to wipe the champagne away with the decorative towel slung over his arm and being too nervous about ruining Hamish’s suit further to try. “Are you alright?”

Hamish chuckled, the first genuine laugh that had escaped him all night. He was nearly as surprised by the sound as the (h/c) that had accidentally assaulted him. “I’m fine. I’m tougher than I look,” he teased.

“Well,” The (h/c) started, “That’s good to hea-”

He was interrupted by the sound of an older woman shrieking, calling out loudly for someone to help her in the kitchen.

The server winced, panic flooding his otherwise beautiful (e/c) eyes, and Hamish felt the sudden urge to intervene. He peered over the crowd in an effort to track down the disgruntled woman before he reached out, taking the stranger’s wrist in his hand and gently tugging him along behind him until they’d made it out of the ballroom.

“Where are we going?” Hamish’s new companion asked, clearly confused. “I should really be getting back to work before my manager has a conniption.”

“Your manager, huh? Was that the lady that was yelling for you?” Hamish asked, curious what could possibly make someone work for someone who seemed so mean. “Why do you put up with her?”

The stranger nodded slowly, like he was afraid he’d give too much away. “I don’t really have a choice.”

“Really? Surely there’s better options out there,” Hamish protested, thinking back to the way the woman’s face had flushed red as she bellowed at her employees before the event had started.

He shrugged, tugging awkwardly at the sleeves of his jacket as he tried to focus on anything but the conversation. “She’s also my mother.”

Hamish stopped in his tracks, stunned. He turned to look at the former server with wide eyes, “Your mother…? How is someone as nice as you related to someone like that?!”

His companion huffed a light laugh and Hamish felt pleased that he’d been able to brighten his mood, “Well, technically she’s my step-mother, but she’s all I’ve got left and I can’t really pay for college without a job so…” He shrugged again, brows furrowing as a thought hit him, “Hey, you never said where we’re going?”

The blond grinned, tugging a fraying tapestry out of the way to reveal a hidden hallway. “Do you trust me?”

“I don’t even know your name,” he retorted, crossing his arms over his chest protectively.

“Well, that’s easy enough to fix,” Hamish grinned. “My name’s Hamish Duke. What’s yours?”

“(M/N),” he answered reflexively, eyes widening as he recognized the name. “Wait, Hamish Duke? Like the actor? Like the son of the lady hosting the party?”

Hamish laughed, nodding. “Yes, just like that.”

“I’m dead.” (M/N) said resolutely. “I’m dead because my mom’s going to kill me when she realizes that I spilled champagne all over one of the most famous people in the state.”

The blond rolled his eyes, cocking his head toward the tunnel again, “You coming with me or are you on your way to the graveyard?”

“Very funny,” he started, cutting himself off as his step-mother’s voice echoed down the hallway. “I’m right behind you.” Hamish grinned, taking (M/N)’s hand in his and tugging him along the hidden path behind him.

--------

Moments passed in almost complete darkness and companionable silence as Hamish led you through the twists and turns of the hidden tunnel, until finally the two of you emerged out into a dimly lit room with the furniture pushed back and out of the way, leaving the center of the room bare.

“What is this place?” You asked quietly as Hamish released your hand and made his way to the center of the room.

He hummed his acknowledgement softly as he started to unbutton his suit jacket, tossing the wet garment aside and sprawling out on his back to look up at the ceiling. “Come join me?” he asked quietly.

You followed his gaze upward, breath catching in your throat as you realized what this room was meant to be. Instead of finding an ordinary ceiling the way any other room might have, the ceiling here towered above you in an arching dome made out of crystal clear glass, allowing the two of you a flawless view of the stars.

“Wow,” you breathed, edging forward to lay down beside him. “This is incredible.” “Yeah.” Hamish agreed, “Breathtaking.” You couldn’t bring yourself to check, but the weight of his gaze had you suspecting that he wasn’t talking about the stars. He remained quiet for a long moment before letting out a quiet sigh and beginning to speak, “I used to come here a lot when I was a kid. When my problems always felt so big and it seemed like that was all there was, I’d sneak up here and look up at the sky and it would remind me that there’s more to life than the moments you feel trapped.”

You hummed softly as you pondered his words. “It’s hard to imagine that someone like you could ever feel trapped,” you mused.

Hamish laughed, tipping his head toward you so he could look at you, “I wasn’t always an actor. I am a law-school dropout, y’know?”

Your brows furrowed incredulously as you turned to meet his eyes, “Really?”

Hamish nodded solemnly, ocean blue eyes glimmering in amusement, “Oh, definitely. I spent a lot of time up here after my father found out about that decision.”

You hesitated as you realized just how personal this observatory was to him, eventually forcing yourself to ask the question that had been weighing on you, “Why did you bring me here?”

“I’m not sure,” he said after a moment of thought. “Does it sound crazy if I say that it felt like I was meant to know you?”

You shook your head, turning back to face the glimmering stars. “No. I think things are meant to happen for a reason.” You huffed when your phone chimed in your pocket, wincing when you noticed your step-mom’s name as the contact before reading the text. “I have to go; the party’s ended and the staff has to leave. I’ll be lucky if I’m not fired when I get home.”

“Everything happens for a reason, huh?” Hamish murmured under his breath, eyes fixing on you determinedly as you pushed yourself back to your feet. “Hey, you said you only work for her to pay for college, right? What if I offered you a better job?”

Your brows furrowed as you turned back to look at Hamish, “What are you talking about?”

“Your stepmother? You only let her treat you like that because you need the money?” Hamish prompted, getting to his feet and moving to stand before you, “What if I make you a better offer?”

You smile but shake your head, getting ready to refute his questions.

Hamish pressed on, interrupting your line of thought, “I’ll give you ten thousand dollars if you agree to go on a date with me.”

Your heart stopped in your chest as you struggled to comprehend what Hamish had just told you, “Hamish, no. I can’t accept that-”

“Please,” he said, taking your hand gently in his. “You deserve so much better; give me a chance to give you that.”

As the clock began to chime midnight and the stars glimmered merrily through the shining glass ceiling, you leaned forward to kiss Hamish, resolving to yourself that, even though you weren’t going to take the money from him, this would not be the last time you saw him.

[netherstray]

Hey yeah so you hear about tornado damage sometimes on the news and I know the news tends to blow stuff out of proportion a lot--like A LOT--so it can be hard to parse what's important and what's not, what's out of the ordinary and what's not, so just for some context,

Tornado shit is like my comfort watch stuff, like for some reason I just watch that stuff when I'm not feeling great. It doesn't somehow make me happy, it just distracts me. So I'm often looking at more and more stuff about tornadoes and watching storm chases and watching documentaries and the like.

It is exceptionally rare to see a tornado cross four states. That is a big deal. Before this happened, there was the Tri-State Tornado Outbreak of 1925, and that wasn't a singular tornado. Guess which part of the country it hit?

And the Quad State?

I shouldn't even call it "the" Quad State, since there were so many other outbreaks from this storm system. The whole region got fucked. But regardless, here's some more that isn't hyperbole:

It is in fact really amazing that this thing went for 227 miles. It takes a huge amount of energy for a tornado to form, let alone travel. Yeah, storm chasers have to be in cars to keep up with them, but they're dealing with traffic, obvious weather, flying debris at times, and they can't follow them in a straight line. A lot of these storms don't actually move that quickly. This one crossed four states in four hours.

"This whole situation is scary and I feel helpless and I don't like tornadoes and what if one hit me what would I do?"

Speaking of news media hyperbole melting all our brains into anxious mush, one thing I haven't seen them doing is helping inform people about what to do if you do end up in the path of a tornado.

Best thing to do: get into a basement or purpose-built storm shelter. Close the door and stay away from it. If you can't stay far from it, stay on the same wall as it to avoid being directly in front of it in case anything crashes through or water pours in.

Next best thing to do: get into the smallest, innermost, lowermost room of whatever building you're in and crouch in the corner; if you've got a helmet or even a nice, thick book you can open over your head like a roof, even better. If you're in a gas station or a grocery store and the employees don't know what to do because there's no basement, ask if there's a walk-in cooler. That's the best place.

If you're outside, get to the lowest point you can find. If you're on the road, overpasses are not a safe place to go. Yes, some people have gotten lucky while under overpasses. It wasn't because the overpass somehow protected them. It was because they were lucky enough to not pay for their mistake or far enough away that it didn't matter. Climbing up will expose you to higher winds and more debris. You do not want to climb up under an overpass. This gets people killed. You want to climb down into a ditch, lie face down, cover your neck with your hands, and wait it out. Only do this if you can't flee.

Above all, if you find yourself in the worst case scenario, don't try to outrun one of these storms, even if you're in your car. Unless you have a completely clear stretch of highway with no debris on it and no traffic whatsoever, it's just not worth the risk. Driving during one of these storms is extremely hard due to the rain covering your windshield, the debris flying across the road and breaking windows, and the wind itself pushing or pulling your car. Storm chasers can drive through these things because they laminate the hell out of their windows and reinforce their cars, and they still end up with their cars all fucked up. Even without severe damage, it's pretty hard to get anywhere when half of a hay bale explodes against your windshield.

These storms were incredible and they deserve a lot of attention not just from the scientific community but especially from the public. We see more and more extreme weather--and it's not just our ability to identify it and record it. It really is happening far more often and becoming more volatile. This storm set records, but I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't hang onto some of those records for very long. Neither should anyone else.

[fawnydoe]

So far I haven't seen anyone talk about Vanya watching Pogo die. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on that scene

holy shit holy smokes I have SO many thoughts thank you so much Anon because there’s a lot of subtext and so many interesting dialogue choices, blocking choices, and musical choices that add so much to the scene. Major fucking props to Elliot Page for his stellar acting and major props to the CGI team for the subtle emotions on Pogo’s face, as well as Adam Godley for a heart-wrenching voice performance.

you know its a big deal when i actually rewatch the scene instead of going off my shitty memory

I’m gonna try and break it down so let’s actually start by establishing the vibe between these two before this scene. 

Episode 1 established that Vanya does love Pogo or at least to some degree she does, she is someone that she trusts. He’s the one who tells her that the mansion will always be her home, he’s the one who tries to assure her her father did love her (that’s fucked up Pogo, come on man), and he’s concerned about her safety (offering to call her a cab). Vanya’s defenses are still there but they aren’t as raised as they are with Diego or Allison, there is some level of trust in their relationship (she opens up about the sandwiches in an attempt to make small talk, she does not actively make an attempt with her other family members).  If she was stuck in the house while her siblings were out, no doubt she probably latched onto this old chimpanzee as a pseudo-father figure.

She trusts Pogo, she is not aware of his complacency in her abuse. Pogo holds affections to all of them but I do think there was a bond between Vanya and him that’s being alluded to here. 

Let’s fast forward to the scene now that we’ve established there is a bond, because we have set-up so let’s have some pay-off:

Vanya tearing down the mansion is a fucking treat to watch, there’s no denying that. However, the events leading up to it are sad, distressing, she should never have reached this point of destruction. She was betrayed by the people she loved (Allison with the rumor, Leonard with the journal, and her siblings by locking her in a cage and walking away and leaving her there). She’s breaking down mentally and she’s taking the house down with her - she is both tearing down her cage and herself.

Look at how calmly she’s walking, she’s done. 

So when she gets to the living room (is that what it’s called?) and she has the flashback of Reginald telling at her to be quiet, yeah she’s fucking pissed. He tore apart her life, he told her time and time again to be quiet, continuously muted her (physically with the cage, mentally with reinforcing the rumor). She is done with Reginald, she’s done with it all. Except-

(We’re going line by line now)

“Miss Vanya, that’s quite enough!” Pogo talks to her like a child throwing a tantrum and in some ways, she is. He talks to all of the Hargreeves if they were children and in many ways, they really all are. They’ve never grown up, Vanya never got the chance to grow up. When was the last time she was in touch with her emotions, before they were strangled by her pills? When she was four years old. Of course everything is overwhelming, she’s been sedated for years now. 

“Miss Vanya, I under how upset you are. But I can assure that none of your siblings bear any of the responsibility for what happened to you as a child.” Pogo is trying to defend the other Hargreeves and to some extent, what he’s saying is true. But the thing is...what happened to her as a child is continuing into her adulthood and destroying her life. She has lived sedated and under the influence of a poorly thought out rumor. She’s struggling physically and mentally. What happened to her as a child is still clearly fucking her life up and the other Hargreeve siblings contributed to it, unknowingly or not.

And when she turns to them, her eyes turn brown again. She is herself and she needs to be to hear his answer. This is someone she trusts, this is someone she has turned to for comfort time and again throughout her childhood and when she moves towards him, pretending to be lax and casual, you can tell there’s a storm brewing. She doesn’t want him to be a part of this, she doesn’t want to believe that another person she thought could trust is complicit in this fucked up conspiracy of her life.

She asks anyways: “Did you know?”

Listen to her, she’s on the verge of tears and she so desperately wants Pogo to say no, she wants to spare him but only if he admits that he still cares, that he wasn’t a betrayer. This is an opportunity for him to escape, to lie, and Pogo, who has been so wrapped up in keeping secrets throughout the season, now knows that lying will only make things worse. He tells the truth but he does it in a way that let’s us know what we’ve always known: Pogo’s loyalties have always lied with Reginald, never with the children.

“Your father discovered...that you were capable of great things. Much like your brothers and sister. But your powers were...too great. He only wanted to protect you from yourself as well as your siblings.” Vanya has been told she’s ordinary, that she is not worth much because of that. Now she’s being told she was too great? Pogo pretty much just said: You will never be good enough.

Then the last line...fuck he has shifted the blame onto her, that her father was only doing what was best, that she was too dangerous. Pogo, what the fuck.

Vanya asks again, she needs to hear him say it, and there is no triumph in this scene, this is another betrayal of someone she thought she was close to, someone she could trust. All he’s done is say you’re not enough and you’re too dangerous. 

Major fucking props to the CGI on this part where Pogo is silent, he is thinking this over. He has spent years fanning the flames of this lie and if he lied again, if he said, Vanya would not have killed him. But Pogo knows the time for lies is over, that Vanya, who is a little girl that is hurting from years worth of abuse and lies, deserves the truth: “Yes, Miss Vanya. I knew.”

There is no one left that has not betrayed her in some way or another, Pogo has just admitted it. Vanya hangs her head, her face grows shadowed and both the gears in the audience’s head and Pogo’s head are turning: what will she do? Then she looks up and her eyes are silver. Vanya is letting go of any sliver of hope she once had for her family, she’s done. She thought had a bond with Pogo, a level of trust from a bond forged in childhood to one quieter in adulthood but still there. It’s gone and he’s said as much.

She lifts him in the air and keeps him there, lets him writhe in agony in a similar way to Leonard. Both of them have betrayed her, both of them are going to pay for it.

Look at where she flings him! The symbolism is SO fucking blatant here: He is impaled on antlers underneath Reginald’s portrait. The show has shown us these taxidermied animals (she’s turned Pogo into one) and how Reginald’s portrait looms over them. She knows where his loyalties die now and in some ways, it reads to me as Vanya saying: “You will die like a dog by your master’s side.”

She’s watching someone she thought she could trust die, she did that to him. She’s not enjoying his suffering, she didn’t relish in the act of impaling him, but she did because that is what she believe needs to be done (the parallels between this and Leonard’s death...fuck man). She needs to be sure he dies, she’s not taking any chances While he dies, he is being forced to look into the eyes of his killer, the killer he helped create.

The music is sorrowful as Pogo gasps for air, blood dribbling down his mouth. As with any Vanya soundtracks, there is a heavy use of strings, strings are Vanya’s instrument. It’s grieving, Vanya is grieving for what she has lost and for what she never had to begin with.

Thank you so much for the question, it was a real treat to go through the scene again and just dig into how phenomenal it is. I hope this somewhat answered your question, even if I did go a bit overboard!

[trashmenofmarvel]

Branded - Chapter 37

Pairing: Demon!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Time runs out.

(This is a fan AU of Falling’s Just Another Way to Fly by araniaart​ . Please check out this incredible series for all of your demon Bucky needs.)

Chapter Warnings: Heavy angst, whump, grief

AO3

Acceptance finally came, but brought with it no relief.

The hours ticked by, each one stealing another moment less you had with Bucky. It was like waiting on death row, but there would be no stay of execution. You were really going to lose him.

That thought was almost as terrifying as the reality that you would be cut off from him. You’d gotten so used to the bond you didn’t know what life would be like without it. Worst of all, you had no guarantee you’d feel the same about Bucky after the link was severed.

Would you still feel the same way about him? Would you still love him? And if you didn’t, was it even love in the first place?

No clock, not even the magical ones that surely existed in this placed, granted you mercy and slowed their procession. All you could do was hold onto Bucky, stroke his demonic arm and his wings, touch him and kiss him and remind yourself he was still here, right here, and he wasn’t gone yet.

As much as you wanted otherwise, you kept your clothes on and kept the touching innocent, even if your kisses grew more heated and desperate. He didn’t want to go, you realized from how tightly he clung to you in return. He didn’t want to leave you in the slightest. You didn’t know if that made it better or worse.

The sun rose and neither of you bothered to get out of bed. You had nowhere else you wanted to be. Monster had dry food that would last him for days, along with a pet drinking fountain. Your mom would start to worry from your lack of texts, but she’d survive. You weren’t so sure about yourself.

When Bucky spoke, his voice was hoarse from disuse, and you were half-asleep curled in his arms.

“I’m giving you the keys to my place.”

You blinked open your eyes, frowning and wondering if you’d heard right.

“What?”

“I want you to stay there.” He brushed his thumb across the side of your jaw, lips touching your hair. “I know it’s a big place, but at least you won’t have to pay rent. It’s a good location, great view, and you’ll be safe. Strange has anti-dark magic wards all over the place. Apparently, it keeps beings with ill-intent from being able to step over the threshold. I’m sure your little monster will love it.”

He spoke your name in a soft question when his words were met with silence. You shook your head and gripped his jacket tightly again. Why did he have to make this so difficult by being so damn perfect?

“I’m just…” You sniffed and swallowed. “I’m just going to house-sit for you until… until Strange finds a better solution.”

Bucky said your name again.

“And then you’ll be back and everything will be, will be the same. Waiting for you. Because you’re coming back.” You fought to control the quivering of your voice, made no easier by his gentle touches. “I have to believe that, Bucky. I have to have hope, or I can’t… I can’t make it through this.”

“You will,” he reassured you with a squeeze. “You’re so damn strong and you’re going to be fine, no matter what happens.”

You were quiet for a moment, and eventually asked in a small voice, “What am I going to tell Mom?”

Bucky didn’t have an answer. It was probably for the best, because your heart was breaking all over again, and you cried into his arms until you didn’t have any tears left to shed.

It was noon before the two of you got out of bed. You hadn’t slept at all except for a moment or two of light dozing. Bucky insisted you eat something. A tray of food had appeared, you didn’t know from where, and you managed to stomach some crackers and pieces of fruit. You did it more to ease Bucky’s worries and to get him to eat too.

Before the appointed hour of doom, you sought out Strange for that stay-of-execution yourself. You pled with Wong to grant you an audience with Strange, and when he prepared to shoot you down, you said, “I spoke to the Ancient One.”

It was all you had to say. You’d expected Wong to treat you like you were delusional, but his expression grew serious as he looked between you and Bucky, and finally said, “Come with me. Now. Not you, Barnes. Just her.”

Bucky grimaced, but you gave him a weak smile.

“Back before you know it.”

He eyed your smile doubtfully; Bucky knew the reason you wanted to speak to Strange, but that wasn’t going to deter you from doing everything in your power to change their minds.

You told Strange everything about the memory. About witnessing the Winter Soldier’s death, about joining and interacting with him in the memory of the demon realm, and finally, of passively watching everything that came after. Only when the Ancient One had noticed your presence that you could finally distinguish between your consciousness and Bucky’s.

Your hope was that Strange would see just how intertwined you and Bucky were, and that freezing Bucky was a cruel idea.

Unfortunately, he seemed to come to the opposite conclusion.

“Sergeant Barnes should have come to me as soon as he broke his oath,” Strange said, fingers steepled from where he sat behind his desk. “He could have easily killed you, or worse, caused you to lose yourself. It’s apparent this bond goes far deeper than it should, and it is a danger to your wellbeing.”

“But,” you stammered, digging your fingers into the hem of your sweater, “the Ancient One helped Bucky. She trusted him. She knew he wasn’t—“

“Dangerous?” Strange interrupted, brow raised. “Of course she did. It was why she made the bargain to begin with: freedom without feeding. The cryo-chamber is not a punishment; Barnes cannot deny his nature any more than a shark sensing blood in the water. He’s driven by deep instinctual urges that he can’t control, not while he’s bonded to you. If he were a free demon, that would be one thing. The formula would work and he could live without feeding, or if you both decided, the feeding could be consensual. But since this pact was formed, even unintentionally, the bond between you is irresistible and deadly.”

Strange rose to his feet, rearranging his cape.

“This is for his sake as much as it’s for yours.”

“And what if you’re wrong!” you cried, panic clawing at your throat. “What if the Ancient One was talking about this moment when she said I had to make a choice! A choice that would affect us both!”

Strange shook his head as he rounded his desk to face you.

“Whatever she saw, whatever her reasons for giving you that bit of advice? It doesn’t apply to this moment simply because you wish it to. And besides, she said it would be your choice. The decision to put Barnes into stasis is mine, not yours. You have no control in this matter, so I doubt that’s what she was referring to.”

“But—“ You tried again, but he raised a hand and you fell silent. His expression was not unkind, and that was perhaps the worst thing of all. He really did believe he was helping you and Bucky.

“We will, of course, look for unexplored avenues of binding magic. There’s no guarantee we will find an answer, and if we do, it could take years. You should prepare yourself for the possibility that this is the best we can do.” Strange met your eye and his face softened. “I truly am sorry.”

That was it, then. There was no hope. You were numb again when you returned to Bucky. He wasn’t alone.

“Hi.”

One of the most recognizable and famous people on the planet extended his hand to shake yours. Old-fashioned manners died hard, you supposed.

“I’m Steve,” he said, his smile reserved but charming.

It was a true testament to your mental state that you didn’t even blink. Shaking hands with Captain America did very little to break you out of your numb distress.

“I’m sorry you two have to meet like this,” Bucky said, shuffling slightly on his feet. “You both deserve better.”

“Don’t worry about it, Buck.” The tall, blond man clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m just glad you reached out to me. I wished we had more time to talk, to catch up, but… it’s more than I had before.”

It seemed Steve Rogers had gotten used to living in the future; he was wearing fairly ordinary jeans, boots, and a riding jacket. He looked even more gallant and heroic than in the videos.

And still, you stared at him with all the personality of a rock. Bucky noticed.

“Hey, Steve. Give us a minute, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Rogers gave you a small, almost shy smile before ducking out of the room. Even through your numbness, you could acknowledge how weird this was. Bucky contacting his best-friend-slash-previous-boyfriend so that he could check in on his current-girlfriend-slash-human-slave while he was put in a fridge.

It would have been really funny if not for the horrifying fact you only had two hours left.

Bucky was about to speak, but whatever it was died on his lips as you launched forward and wrapped your arms around his middle, burying your face in his shoulder.

He returned the gesture, lightly rubbing your back.

“I appreciate you trying, sweetheart, but… this is for the best.”

“It’s not,” you said, sniffling into his jacket. “It’s a mistake, and I’m the only one who sees it.”

Bucky said nothing but he did continue to stroke your back. Maybe there was some part of him that agreed with you, that didn’t want to leave.

When you asked him that very question, Bucky pulled back and said, “Of course I don’t want to leave.”

You bit your lip to keep from barking out then don’t! Instead, you said, “Will you stay with me until…”

“Yeah,” he said, quiet. “Yeah, of course.”

Bucky left for only a few minutes to talk to Rogers, telling him what you had no idea, and then he returned to find you moping on the couch. He picked you up and sat down, sitting you in his lap and wrapping his arms tight around you. Resting your head on his shoulder, you curled up in his limbs as much as possible, happy when he dropped his guise. He’d kept it up when Steve had been present. You could guess why, and it made your heart ache to know Bucky still had so much shame over what he was.

It was silent between you; there wasn’t anything left to say that couldn’t be expressed in the small, desperate, meaningful touches. Two hours had never gone by so quickly.

Bucky led you through the hallways, and the warm, ruddy decorations had never felt so cold and distant. Rogers was waiting outside a closed door, one that looked vaguely familiar. And it should. This was the room where Davin had been freed of the heigore.

The stone altar was gone, and in its place, a massive sarcophagus-like object. It stood open, tendrils of fog curling from its glowing interior as Strange, Wong, and several other sorcerers stood around it.

You wanted to grab Bucky and drag him out of there, away from such an evil-looking instrument. They were going to put him in that thing? It looked like a stone coffin, or an Iron Maiden, or any number of torture devices.

But you didn’t do any of those things. This was hard enough for Bucky, unimaginably so, and you weren’t going to make it more difficult by causing a scene.

Instead, you squeezed his hand and clung to his outstretched fingers until the two sorcerers that now reminded you of prison guards led him away to the thing that would trap him inside.

You hadn’t even said goodbye. You’d thought your actions over the past few hours had been enough to convey what you felt, but what if it wasn’t? What if Bucky was frozen without ever knowing what he meant to you?

You took a step forward, but a large hand clamped down on your shoulder. It wasn’t harsh but it was firm, and it pulled you back a step. You glared over your shoulder, and Rogers gave you a pitying look.

You almost shook him off, suddenly angry at the Avenger, but you let the hand stay where it was, turning back to Bucky with your heart in your throat. He was turned around now, facing you as the sorcerers helped him step back into the shadow of the chamber. He hadn’t had a choice about keeping his guise down today, and his wings were tucked into the shell on his back as his tail wrapped tightly around his leg.

The heavy iron door closed with a finality that stopped your heart. Pneumatic hisses and an intensified humming filled the room.

You could see Bucky’s face through the oval window of the door. White fog blew from his mouth, steaming up the glass, but it didn’t cover up the fact he was scared. It was in the widening of his eyes and the quick pace of his breathing. Too fast and shallow.

You tried to take another step forward, but Rogers wouldn’t let you. You wanted to jerk away, scream at him to do something! That was his best friend in there and Rogers was an Avenger, for fuck’s sake! Couldn’t he stop this?!

But Rogers only stared at the iron coffin that held Bucky, his expression pained, even if he did hide it well behind a stern mask.

Strange stepped forward, expression equally somber. He drew his palm in a circle in the air, and a series of concentric glowing circles appeared on the side of the chamber. He tapped them with his fingers, almost as if he were working a machine panel.

All at once, the window went almost completely opaque as it was covered with ice, and at the same moment, agony shot through your chest like a freezing steel blade.

Doubling over, unable to draw air, you would have collapsed if not for Roger’s arms around your waist. The sound escaping you didn’t sound human. It was a wounded animal, dying in agony.

Your veins were fire and your lungs filled with ice. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, someone was squeezing your heart in their fist, and with a vicious wrench, tore it out.

Even as Rogers pulled you back out of the room, as the sorcerers surged forward with concerned expressions, you clawed weakly at the air, reaching out for the machine where your heart was contained, and was forced to leave it behind.

Next Chapter

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 15.20: “Carry On”

I’ll warn you right now - I did not hate it.

THEN: Chuck loses. Jack is God. The Winchesters are finally free.

NOW: Friends, get ready for a whole lot of fan service in the next few minutes. It's like TPTB have been reading everything we say and giving us what we want.

As a song about "ordinary life" plays, Dean's retro alarm clock goes off at 8:00. He shuts it off and sits up so we can see he's wearing a henley shirt (fan service points: 1). As he stretches, he's greeted by Miracle the dog (fan service points: 2)! Who is apparently his dog and definitely not Sam's!

But it's okay because LOOK AT THEM.

Meanwhile, Sam is running (fan service points: 3) and enjoying the beautiful day. When he gets home, he cooks (fan service points: 4) the same dry scrambled eggs that Stevie made for Charlie. Dean wanders in, wearing the dead guy robe, just as two slices of toast pop out of the toaster. I am not giving the robe any points because I don't think it's anything we all publicly long for and get excited about when it comes up, but I am willing to consider any opposing arguments. Sam, wearing just a t-shirt (5 points), tells Dean "it's hot" and I say mmm, yes it is. Dean adorably burns his hands on the hot toast and then brushes his teeth. You know what, I think the robe deserves a point after all. We're up to 6.

And we're not even two minutes into the episode.

And then they JUST KEEP COMING because Sam walks in, exposing his tattoo (7) because he's SHIRTLESS (8), scrubbing at his WET HAIR (9) with a towel, and I curse The Husband for deciding to watch with me because it means it would be kind of awkward to rewind and watch this a few more times. There's not even any dialog I can pretend I didn't catch.

I was NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.

He pulls on the grey v-neck t-shirt of sex (10) and proceeds to carefully make his bed. Dean, meanwhile, kind of sloppily throws his bed together and calls it done. Domestic Winchesters for 11 fan service points, please. Part of me feels like Dean's messy room is OOC, considering how proud he was to have his own room in the first place. But then I have to consider the trunk of the Impala, especially when compared to the hyper-organized neatness of her trunk when Sam's all alone in Mystery Spot, and it feels right. (Why am I thinking about Sam being all alone in Mystery Spot? NO REASON, NO REASON AT ALL.)

Sam's hair in his face while he makes his bed? Yes, please (12 points).

Dean washes the breakfast dishes (13), sneaking some leftover (because they were nasty) eggs to Miracle and looking around to make sure Sam doesn't see, because obviously Sam's going to be the one who doesn't want the dog to get table scraps. Sam put on a plaid shirt earlier, but we see him in the laundry room back down to one v-neck t-shirt (thank you Jack). He's reading as his laundry tumbles in the dryer, and he has to kick the dryer once to stop it from making noise, which I guess is why he's in there babysitting it. I keep reading on Tumblr that people want "at least one laundry scene," as if that didn't exist in The Monster at the End of This Book, but here's your laundry scene, friends. You were right to want it; it is marvelous (14).

Just look at that collection of plaid shirts and tell me it doesn't make you happy.

Dean times himself assembling a gun, complete with plenty of hand closeups (15) and then sits in the library with Miracle, scratching his ears (Miracle's, not his own) and apparently looking for a case. Sam comes in and joins them. He hasn't found anything, but Dean gets a serious look on his face and says "I got something."

Spoiler alert: It is my heart.

Title card!

The Impala pulls to a stop and the guys get out, still with serious looks on their faces. Oddly, the episode title flashes on screen really quickly. Or maybe it's just me. "Sure you're ready for this?" says Sam. "Oh, I don't have a choice," answers Dean. "This is my destiny." And that is exactly how I felt about watching this episode, friends. Not ready, but no choice. The camera pans to show that the boys are at the 43rd Annual Akron Pie Fest. In Akron, Iowa? Just north of Sioux City? Five hour drive? Say hi to Jody and the girls while you're there? Probably not. Probably in Akron, Ohio, almost 16 hours away.

(NO ONE CARES. STOP IT.)

Give me a break. This might be the last time I ever get to calculate driving time.

Anyway. Just pies! Nothing serious! Whew, I was concerned for a second. Dean is emotional.

This is just so beautiful.

Are you crying?

What? No. You're crying, I'm not.

No one is crying. There is no reason for ANYONE to cry.

Sam sits on a bench and watches happy pie eating families (sob). Dean returns with a giant box with six slices of pie (16 points). He sits next to Sam, and they have this conversation:

What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm fine.

Nah, come on, I know that face. That's Sad!Sam face.

I'm not Sad!Sam. I just. I'm thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. If they could be here.

Yeah, I know, I think about them too. You know what, that pain's not gonna go away, right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is going to be for nothing.

Dean's right, Sam. Do not be sad. We will have no Sad!Sam tonight. Live your life, or else those sacrifices are wasted. (ahem.) Sam responds by pushing a slice of pumpkin pie into Dean's face. "I've wanted to do that for a very long time," he laughs. "You're right, I do feel better!" Dean scraping the pie off his face and eating it is pretty adorable.

I'd pay good money to lick that off his face. And not just because I love pumpkin pie.

Not quite 6 minutes in and we're up to at least 16 guaranteed bits of pure fan service. Just sweet, domestic Winchester brothers living their lives. How long has this been going on? I've decided it's been at least a year since the last episode. Maybe longer. A good long time. Lots of time for them to enjoy their newfound freedom. But right now things are getting dark. Because it's nighttime, and because I think somebody's about to die.

A mom sends two young brothers upstairs for bathtime. They pause when the doorbell rings. No one seems to be there, but then the dad is stabbed by people wearing creepy masks. The boys run into their room and hide. From their room, we hear the mom scream, and then a thump. One of the masked guys comes into the room and, after a fake-out when we think they might be safe, drags the boys out from under the bed.

So, domestic life in the bunker and then a hunt? Wow. We're getting it all. What a great episode, full of the things we love.

Is this Becky Rosen's living room?

Daytime. Agents Kripke and Singer (ugh, really? Kripke is good, but how about honoring someone other than the current regime?) show up at the scene. They learn that the dad's blood was drained, the mom is alive but her tongue was ripped out (wow), and the kids were taken. The mom drew a picture of the masks they wore, which the brothers recognize.

In a lovely, picturesque spot, the guys flip through John's journal. And I didn't realize we hadn't seen the journal in a while, but Tumblr informs me many of us were exicted to see it again, so boom. 17 points.

You know what this is? Mimes. Evil mimes.

Yeah. Or vampires.

VampMIMES. Son of a bitch!

Dean comes up with a silly portmanteau name for a monster? That will be 18 points. Sam determines the vamps will be heading for Canton if they follow their pattern, and the victims are families who live on the outskirts of town with children between the ages of five and ten. Well, that couldn't be too difficult to narrow down in a city with a population of over 70,000.

I'll handwave it. The lip biting. You’re welcome.

Night. Canton, I presume. Two masked vamps get out of a van. One of them gets decapitated by Dean. The other is shot in the leg, and then the head, by Sam. Well, he's a vampire, so of course it didn't kill him, but the bullet was soaked in dead man's blood. {Sidebar: "Soaked?" Dipped, maybe, but do you soak metal? Discuss.} They ask where the missing kids are, and the vamp is all, you're gonna let me go if I tell you? "No," Dean explains, adorably disappointed that the vamp isn't a mime after all. "This isn't a you walk out of here kind of situation. But see, if you tell us quick, you get this." He displays his bloody machete. "But if you take your time, you get, you get that." And "that" is a switchblade which Sam casually pops open right on cue.

Yeah, I'll take that. I'll take that itty bitty one.

It's a bad choice.

You see, this, this is quick. It's clean, you know? No muss, no fuss. You blink and you're dead.

But a blade this small, I'm gonna have to keep sawing and sawing to get your head off. And you'll feel it. Every muscle, tendon. Every inch. Could take hours.

Oh, and if those kids are dead? He's gonna use a spoon.

GUYS. I said it before and I’ll say it again. I absolutely love when they remind us that Sam Winchester, that sweet boy with the huge heart and the endless supply of empathy and the puppy dog eyes, I love it when they remind us that he is a fucking psycho when he needs to be. I'm not going to give it a point, because I don't think it's anything we've asked for, but again I'm willing to hear all arguments. Especially if they come with detailed examples of Sam going psycho. Just for evidence, you know.

Just casually talkin' bout torturing you to death. No big.

The vampire wisely decides to reveal the location of the nest where the kids are being held. Next we see the Impala pulling up in front of some kind of barn. The guys open the trunk to get their gear out, and Dean pulls out a throwing star. "Come on. One time." Sam says no. There will be plenty of other times for Dean to use his throwing stars, I'm sure.

The guys enter the barn and find it apparently empty, although we see masked vamps peeking at them from outside. They find the kids locked in a closet, but four vampires appear before they can escape. They shoo the boys outside and shoot the vampires with their dead man's blood bullets from a safe distance. No, they don't. Why? I got no goddamn idea.

{Sidebar: At some point during this fight, I realized they hadn't played "Carry On Wayward Son" at the beginning. And that we got a regular montage, not a season finale extended montage.}

Sam gets knocked unconscious, and Dean loses his machete and then gets pinned by a couple of vamps. But they don't kill him; they just hold him down while an unmasked vampire strolls in. Dean recognizes her from season 1, and pretends not to notice Sam's now-conscious hand surreptitiously creeping toward his machete. Suddenly the vampire loses her head, because Sam is behind her, and the fight starts up again. Dean gets thrown into a wall right next to a big metal spike, which we focus on oddly. And then he gets thrown onto the spike. Oops. Sam kills the last of the vamps and doesn't notice Dean's predicament. He's all, cool, fight's over, let's go get those kids out of here. "Sam," Dean says, "I don't think I'm going anywhere."

Dean tells Sam there's something stuck in his back and it "feels like it's right through me." He keeps touching his chest as if he expects to feel it poking through. Sam reaches around to touch his back and his hand comes back bloody, and if that gives you All Hell Breaks Loose feels, there's a good reason. Sam tries to pull Dean off the spike, but Dean stops him. "It feels like this thing's holding me together right now." Sam's starting to panic and so am I. He wants to go get the first aid kid and call for help, but Dean stops him. And y'all, I'm just gonna have to type the whole thing out.

Sam, Sam. Stay with me. Please, stay with me, please.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Uh. Right. All right, listen to me. Um. You get those boys and you get them someplace safe, all right?

Dean? WE are gonna get them somewhere safe.

No. You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It was supposed to end like this, right? I mean, look at us. Saving people, hunting things, it's what we do.

Stop, Dean, just stop

It's okay. It's okay. it's good. It's good. We had one hell of a ride, man.

I will find away, okay? I will find another way.

No. No. No, no no no no. No bringing me back, okay? You know that always ends bad.

Dean, please.

I'm fading pretty quick, so, there's a few things I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam. You know that? I've always looked up to you. Remember when we were kids, you were so damn smart. You never took any of Dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you, that night that I came for you when you were in school? You know, when dad hadn't come back from his hunting trip?

Uh, the woman in white.

The woman in white, that's right. I must have stood outside your door for hours, cause I didn't know what you would say. I thought you'd tell me to get lost, or get dead. And I didn't know what I would have done if I didn't have you. Cause I was so scared. I was scared. Cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It's always been you and me.

Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone.

Yes you can.

Well, I don't want to.

Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you. Right here. Every day. Every day you're out there, and you're living, and you're fighting, cause you, you always keep fighting. You hear me? I'll be there, every step. I love you so much. My baby brother. Well, I did not think this would be the day. But it is, it is, and that's okay. I need you, I need you to promise me. I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me it's okay. Look at me. I need. I need. I need you to tell me it's okay. Tell me it's okay.

Dean. It's okay. You can go now.

Bye, Sam.

NO, IT IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY.

And of course I haven't described Sam's face as he understands what's happening, Dean's occasional spasms of pain, the handholding, the fucking FOREHEAD TOUCH, the tears, the way Dean's hand drops away, the way Sam's hands shake as he clutches his dead brother (hello, AHBL again).

Maybe we just need to watch it.

Gifs borrowed from @jaredandjensen​.

And there's also the Always Keep Fighting shoutout, the "I love you," Dean calling Sam his "baby brother," the "I can't do this alone/Yes you can/Well I don't want to" parallel with 1.01. Infinite points, friends. I can't count that high.

(Things not to think about: Sam putting Dean's body in the back seat, and then putting the two young brothers in the front and driving them to safety. Sam driving 15 hours back to Lebanon with his brother's body. Do not think about these things.)

Aftermath. Sam and Miracle, and no one else, are giving Dean a hunter's funeral. And I know Covid means Sam couldn't have any friends there, but also? This is kind of perfect. Sam facing it alone. The song we hear as Sam lights his brother's pyre is "Brothers in Arms" by Dire Straits, in case you're not emotionally wrecked yet.

Yeah, I'm already there, thanks anyway.

Next we see Sam's slightly more modern alarm going off at 8:00. Note that Sam gets up later now, because at the beginning of the episode, he had already gone for a run and was cooking breakfast when Dean woke at 8:00. But now there's no one to cook for so he doesn't need to get back early and I AM NOT OKAY.

ANYWAY.

Sam gets up and faces his lonely day. He cooks eggs. One piece of toast pops up. He sits in the library with Miracle and looks at the names carved into the table. He wanders the halls with his dog at his side. (SAM HAVING A DOG WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM HAPPY. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE US HAPPY. HOW DARE YOU.)

{Sidebar: Has Sam ever had a dog when he wasn't at a low point in his already-low life? Discuss.}

Eventually he finds himself at the door to Dean's room. The room is just as Dean left it, kind of messy, kind of very full of Dean. He sits on Dean's bed and pets the dog and cries and it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that I am ROLLING AROUND IN ALL OF THIS BEAUTIFUL PAIN.

No one at all.

@annianvi thinks he’s wearing Dean’s hoodie when he cooks his sad lonely breakfast? Could it be?

Sam hears a phone buzzing in Dean's desk. He digs out the one labeled "Dean's other other phone" and answers. The caller asks for "Agent Bon Jovi" and says he's had some bodies turn up without hearts in Austin. "A friend of mine, Donna Hanscum, said you were the one to call." Oooh, are we sending him to Austin? Is Walker, Texas Ranger just going to be another fake name and fake badge? Now that's how you do a spinoff!

{Sidebar: Does Donna know about Dean? Did Sam tell anyone yet? Is the trying to get him out of the bunker and keep him busy? If so, wouldn't she have given the guy Sam's number, not Dean's other other phone? But maybe it's someone she talked to weeks ago. Discuss.}

Sam tells the caller he is on his way, and we see him with a packed bag, heading out of the bunker with Miracle. He turns to look one last time and then turns off all the lights. We haven't seen the bunker this dark since the day they found it. I don't think he's ever coming back. Goodbye, bunker. I know some people hated you, but I was not one of them. {Sidebar: Did he give the bunker key to anyone? Surely he wouldn't want all those resources to go to waste!}

So, I guess the episode title refers to Sam having (choosing?) to carry on after he loses his brother. THIS IS FINE.

Now we're back at Dean's pyre, and this time we drift up with the smoke. We catch up with Dean, outdoors, in a lovely setting with trees and birds. "Well, at least I made it to Heaven," he says. "Yep," someone answers. It's Bobby! Real Bobby, not AU Bobby! Dean's actually standing next to a building - a cabin, maybe - and Bobby is sitting on the porch.

What memory is this?

It ain't, ya idjit.

Yeah it is. Cause the last I heard, you, you were in in Heaven's lockup.

Was. Now I'm not. That kid of yours, before he went wherever, made some changes here. Busted my ass out. And then he, well, set some things right. Tore down all the walls. Heaven ain't just reliving your golden oldies any more. It's what it always should have been. Everyone happy, everyone together. Rufus lives about five miles that way. With Aretha. Thought she'd have better taste. And your mom and dad, they got a place over yonder. It ain't just Heaven, Dean. It's the Heaven you deserve. And we been waiting for you.

So Jack did all that.

Well, Cas helped. It's a big new world out there. You'll see.

So, I guess Cas made it out of the Empty? Dean smiles at that, but doesn't suggest finding him or anything. I approve. Bobby pulls out a couple of beers (the green cooler made it into Heaven!!!) and they share some bad beer. Dean comments that Heaven is "almost perfect," and Bobby knows EXACTLY what's missing, because of course he does. "He'll be along. Time up here, it's different. You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream. So I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?" Well, Dean doesn't have everything he could ever want or need, but he does see one thing - Baby. With her Kansas plates! Friends, that's two things I requested before the end that I didn't think I would ever see: a forehead touch, and Baby wearing her original plates. Thank you, Jack.

Dean's face lights up. "I think I'll go for a drive." As he walks to his car, we see the cabin is actually Harvelle's Roadhouse, albeit smaller, I think. Dean settles into his car and says "Hey, Baby" and when he turns her on, "Carry On Wayward Son" begins to play.

I know he looks good in Purgatory, but DAMN if he don't look fine in Heaven, too.

We cut to the name Dean, which is embroidered on - a little boy's overalls. Sam's little boy. Oh, wow. I was not prepared for this. Sam has a son named Dean, and we switch back and forth between Dean driving through Heaven and scenes of Sam's life with his son and his mysterious, barely-seen wife. She has long dark hair, and I'd like to point out that she could easily be either Eileen or Dr. Cara Roberts. Just saying. Sam's house is full of family photos, including the one of him and Dean from his memory box and a new one from the episode Lebanon. I never thought about the fact that they might have actually taken a photo, and if they did, would it still be around after Sam smashed the pearl? Well, obviously, yes. We see Sam throwing a ball with his son, helping him with his homework (Sam in glasses? Check!) and just obviously really loving this kid and giving him the childhood he never had. We also see a really, really unfortunate grey wig that I refuse to screencap. You're welcome. As aging Sam sits in the hundred-year-old car in his garage, his dead brother drives happily along dirt roads in Heaven, and I'd prefer my Heaven have paved roads, thanks.

We end in Sam's house, now complete with hospital bed. Sam could be in his 80s or even 90s, which means he could have lived another 50 years, more or less, after Dean died. His son doesn't look any older than his 20s or 30s (and also looks vaguely South Asian to me), and I wonder how old Sam was when he finally let himself have a family. Remember when Dean said his happy ending was for Sam to have kids and get old? Well, he got it, finally. Did Sam get a regular job? Did he keep hunting? We don't know. What we do know is that his son has a anti-possession tattoo. Some people have taken this to mean young Dean is a hunter, but I don't think we can jump to that conclusion. It could just be 1) Dean wanted a tattoo like his father's, or b) Sam knows there are still demons out there and that his son would naturally be a target, hunter or not.

All right, I had to screencap teary-eyed Sam grasping the steering wheel and reliving his years with his brother in this car, so we can just pretend we don't see The Wig, okay?

Sam's evidently in hospice care. Or maybe we'll all have hospital beds in our houses in 50 years. Who knows. His son sits on the bed and takes his hand. Sam smiles at him, and Dean says "Dad, it's okay. You can go now." PARALLELLS! As some woman sings "Carry On Wayward Son" for whatever reason (why didn't they use the lovely a cappella version they already had from Fan Fiction?), Sam places his hand on Dean's and takes his last breath.

{Sidebar: Where is Sam's wife in all of this? Divorced? Already dead? She doesn't seem to be in the family pictures, so I'm going with divorced. Discuss.}

Heaven. Oh, guys. I've done this rewatch without tearing up at all but I'm about to tip over. The Impala pulls onto a bridge. Dean gets out. (Now your life's no longer empty, surely Heaven waits for you.) He stands at the bridge railing, enjoying Heaven, smiling. And then he feels something and he smiles even more because he knows it's Sam. Oh god, Jensen did such a good job here. Just this fucking smile killed me dead. "Hey, Sammy," he says. He turns and there is Sam, wearing the same outfit he wore in 1.01 (they both are, but Sam's is a bigger departure from his later years). Why? I don't know. But I know it means Sam Winchester is spending eternity in something that isn't a plaid shirt. How do we feel about that?

"Dean," Sam says. They face each other and smile, and it's the smile of we just survived a hunt I didn't think we'd survive or our son just overpowered God or something along those lines. Then they embrace, and I love the way Sam hesitates just a little before clapping a hand on Dean's back. Like he's afraid it isn't really happening, and he doesn't want to break the illusion. I also love that Dean, as always, takes the top (oh, get your minds out of the gutter) and hugs as if he were taller than Sam. Then Dean puts his hand on the back of Sam's neck and turns him to admire the view and he has this joyous smile like now, this is FINALLY Heaven. And he gazes at Sam like look, Sammy, look what we did. Look what we get. The lack of dialog in this scene is just ~chef's kiss~. The camera goes wide and we see the three main characters, Sam and Dean and Baby, enjoying the Heaven they deserve.

I would like to know where they filmed this, because it's gorgeous even without the Winchesters.

Did Sam's entire life go by in the span of Dean's drive? Or did Dean just decide he'd drive until his brother arrived, no matter how long it took? And how much do I love the fact that he could have gone and visited his parents but instead he said "nah, I'll drive around and wait for Sam?" SO MUCH, PEOPLE. SO MUCH.

Also, can we talk about the fact that Sam didn't know what to expect in Heaven? I mean, Ash said they were soulmates and would share a Heaven, but why would he believe that? And he might have even still believed he'd have a hard time getting into Heaven. What a relief it must have been to show up on Dean's bridge.

And then Jared and Jensen thank us. You're welcome, boys. Thank you.

So. Thursday night I was mildly positive about the episode. But on rewatch, I'm extremely positive. Sure, I would have loved the Six Feet Under ending where we see everyone's fate. And maybe that would have happened if not for Covid. But I'm just relieved we didn't get the Game of Thrones or How I Met Your Mother endings. I'm not sure this current cohort could have done better, honestly. Sam wanted a normal family life. Dean wanted Sam to have a normal family life. But Sam was never going to stop hunting as long as Dean was hunting. And Dean wasn't going to stop hunting as long as he was alive. Dean got the end he wanted/expected and the Heaven he earned (and Sam caring for Jack was directly responsible for Heaven's improvements). Sam got to live a normal life and have a family. As I said earlier, I suspect his marriage didn't last. (Or maybe he and Eileen or Cara got married for insurance purposes, and happily co-parented little Dean, but knew they weren't each other's one true love.) But I actually prefer that. Dean loved Sam more than he loved anyone. Sam loved Dean the same way. I'm glad Sam got to have a child (who he loves as much as his brother, but in a different way), but I don't want Sam and Dean to share their Heaven with Sam's wife.

Now, would I have done Dean's death differently? Yes. I did appreciate that they had him upright, so the brothers were face to face, just like AHBL. But being impaled on a spike was just less dramatic that I would have liked. I would have preferred that Sam immediately see his brother was dying, instead of Dean having to explain it to him. Dean could have had his jugular torn, slowly bleeding out, and still been on his knees (held up by Sam, hell yes) making his deathbed speech. And then I wouldn't have thought "would an ambulance be here by now if you'd called them?" halfway through it.

{Sidebar: What if Sam had fed Dean some blood from one of the dead vamps. Wouldn't that have kept him undead long enough to get fixed up, and then they could have done the vampire cure? Discuss.}

I know some people are very unhappy about the finale. Honestly, from what I can tell, most of those people are hard-core Destiel shippers. And I guess they wanted, as they always do, for the Dean and Castiel relationship to be more important than the Dean and Sam relationship. Sorry, guys, that was never gonna happen. In the end, it came down to the epic love story of Sam and Dean, just as it should have.

So, I'm sad and I'm happy. I'm bereft and I'm full. I miss my boys, but my boys will always be with me. I hope you guys will be with me for a long time, too.

[hp-imagines-07]

Who Better Than The Love Of My Life?

Sirius Black x Fem!Ravenclaw!Reader

Universe: Harry Potter; The Marauders era

Type: lil angst but really fluff

Summary: being Sirius' best friend isn't easy, but it just get worse when [y/n] fall for him and keeps thinking if they could ever be more then just friends...

Request: YES|no - "Hey sweets! I was wondering if you could do a young!Sirius X reader with 14, 21, 10, 41 please? If possible, could you put y/n in Ravenclaw? Thanks so much for creating such lovely reading material ❤️" @approved-by-dentists | Thank you so much for all the love and i'm so sorry it took so long...

Prompts: 

10 - "I can't do THIS anymore."

14 - "Why are you awake?" "I could ask you the same."

21 - "When was the last time that you slept?"

41 - "We never were just friends, and you know it." "I know it, but you deserve someone better than me."

Warnings: cursing, kiss maybe and a lot of arguments.....

Song: xxx

Word Count: 4.5K

Posted: 2nd of September 2020

A/N: i am so proud of how it ended, i thought that it wouldn't be as good as i wanted it to be, but i fell for sirius and i don't wan to get up anymore, so yeah (don't forget to read the bonus........) and thats a daffodil if you don't know

My Others Accounts: @imagines-07 (Principal Account) | @mcu-imagines-07 (Marvel Comics Universe) | @stit-imagines-07 (Stranger Things & IT) | @obx-imagines-07 (Outer Banks) | @cm-imagines-07​ (Criminal Minds)

MY MASTERLIST

"Why Potions Class is so hard?" You said and sighed, while dropping your head at your book, making Remus just roll his eyes at the way that you were being as dramatic as Sirius. Oh, this boy was so tired of you two making such a scene by nothing.

"It's not that hard. You just have to pay attention!" Remus said the last part a little louder and everyone at the library looked at the two of you, Moony just smiled trying to act normal and pretend that he wasn't feeling his cheeks becoming warmer by being embarrassed.

"I am paying attention, but I just can't understand." You said already giving up and closing your book. Anything was supposed to be so hard to understand, you're a Ravenclaw, you thought that you would understand everything and explain it to the others just like everyone else from the same house as yours, not the other way...

Remus opened his mouth to answer you and probably make you continue to study anyway, but before he could say anything, a pair of hands covered his mouth and another one covered your eyes, while Peter just sat at the other side of the table with a bored expression by Sirius and James' idea.

"Who am I?" A voice asked behind you, but it was obvious that it was Sirius trying to use a deeper voice and you would have rolled your eyes if it wasn't for his hands stopping you.

"I don't know, probably Wormtail..." You said and heard someone sitting at the chair between you and Remus and you just knew that it was Prongs, and Sirius sighed behind you. He took his hands out of your eyes, letting you see again the not so lightly library and your friends rolling their eyes to Sirius' reaction. It was obvious that you were trying to mess with him, and looked like you got it.

"You knew that it was me." Padfoot said while sitting at the chair at your right. You smiled at him and Sirius felt his knees going weak with your beautiful and radiant smile.

Moony asked something to all of you and before you knew, your Potions' book had been already forgotten and you five were chatting about one of the unbelievable gossips going around Hogwarts.

"You really think that this girl is pregnant?" James asked with furrowed eyebrows, looking at you, that just giggled at him and the rest of the Marauders by believing at all of those rumours. But you were too focused on James and Peter arguing if it's true or not, that you didn't notice Sirius bringing his chair closer to yours and putting his arm around your shoulders.

It felt natural, it was like his arm was supposed to be around your shoulders every moment, it was like you were made for it... Sirius' touch was warm against your cold skin and his scent was the best one.

You tried to act normal because he does it - and a lot of other things that are related to physical touch - a lot of times, but since the girls noticed the different way you acted and asked for you if you had feelings about Padfoot a few weeks ago five to be more specific, you couldn't help but also notice that recently you were feeling weird things around him... All the cliche feeling that you had read so many times at a few of your favourite books like butterflies at your stomach, cold and sweaty hands, loud and fast heartbeat, dry throat, warm and red cheeks... You were starting to feel so much of those stupid feelings that you started to involuntary act weird when he's that close to you.

And it all would feel just normal and ordinary if he felt it too when you were together, but how could you know if he felt anything? 

Before you could stop yourself from daydreaming about it, your mind takes you to a universe where you and Sirius were together, where he felt the same about you and you or he had the guts to tell each other about your true feelings - doesn't matter who did first... At this universe, you could call Sirius yours, you didn't need to hide any of those stupid feelings around anyone. Flashes of his arms around your waist, while your back is pressed against his chest, with tangled legs at the grass, just looking at the sky full of stars, passed through your mind, just like the ones where you could feel his body next to yours, with his arm around your shoulder, while flirting with you in front of some boy that was trying to take you to his dorm... You could even feel his kisses on your neck, cheek, lips or anywhere else.

Moments where he called you his girlfriend, and you called him your boyfriend.

"[y/n]?" You blinked a few times and shook your head to send all of your unintentional thoughts to the back of your mind - where they should stay and never get out -, with the hand that was passing in front of your eyes, trying to get your attention.

As you looked around, you noticed that all of your friends were staring at you with confused expressions and all of his foreheads frowned. "What are you thinking about, sunshine?" Padfoot asked you and you turned your head to his direction, feeling various goosebumps going up and down your body with his strong gaze focused on you and no one else - something inside of you even could tell that if someone fell in front of you, he wouldn't even flinch his eyes from yours. The way his arm around your shoulders made his face stay so close to yours, caused you the neediest to kiss him at this exact moment, with all of your friends watching, in the middle of the silent library... 

But you knew that it would be worse for you. He didn't feel that same way about you, he just sees you as his best friend and nothing more than this. And if your heartbeat wasn't so loud and strong in your ears, you would be able to listen to the way your heart started to break in various pieces just with your thoughts. 

You couldn't stay here any second more, you just needed to be able to breathe and organize your mind, you just needed to be alone, you just needed to cry without anyone seeing, you just needed to freak out by yourself while hugging your pillow from your favourite muggle band... You had to be far from anyone, especially Sirius Black.

So, you got up from your seat as fast as you could without passing out, and just ran out of the library as fast as your legs could take you and with everyone looking at you by the sound that your chair did when you got up, the sound of your shoes frenetically tapping against the floor, the voices of your friends calling for you and the fact that you left everything behind (being one of the people that most care books to anywhere you go).

You just stopped when your eyes met the entrance of the Forbidden Forest and then you finally noticed the way that you ran all around Hogwarts to be away from your own best friend. 'What's wrong with me?'

You took this time to breathe a little bit, then started to walk inside the forest. You had been here plenty of times before, just walking around and feeling the cold wind with the all the shadows from the trees, both hitting your body in harmony and union. This never felt so great as now. You feet started to drag you through the trees and as the first shadow got to you, you felt your tense body become way more relaxed. Your thoughts that were running around your head making you go crazy, were completely forgotten, until-

"[y/n]! Wait!" The known voice coming from behind you followed by several footsteps, made you stop on your tracks and turn around, seeing the last person you wanted to see at the moment. "What happened there?" Sirius asked and he felt his heart ache with the vision of your red face with tears running down your face.

"I'm sorry, Pads. I can't talk right now..." You whispered and you even thought that he would be able to listen to your weak and low voice, but you noticed that he had heard you when he just shook his head and tried to walk closer to you, completely ignoring what you just said, because he knows how you always try to hide what you are feeling to anyone. "Please, just leave me alone."

Black took a heavy breath so he could try to control his thoughts and try to connect them to his body, so he wouldn't do something that his heart was screaming at him to do. Sirius' mind was telling him to just go away and let you have the space you were asking for, but his heart was saying that he should go there and hug you, just hold you and confess his feelings to you... But he couldn't.

"Can you just tell me what's wrong? I want to help you!" 

"It's nothing, Sirius." He felt his heart ache by how you just called him. "Just let me be." Your voice was starting to raise with your anger by him not listening to you, and you knew pretty well that the unique one more stubborn than you, it's him.

"I won't just walk away. I won't let you alone right now." Padfoot whispered with a weak voice. All he ever wanted to do was to help you, but you never let him do anything for you, like right now.

"Why?" You screamed.

"Because I love you!" He screamed back and your eyes just watered more than before. Your lip started to shake, your eyes were burning more than ever, your throat became a huge knot, you felt your nose becoming warmer, and the tears starting to run down your already wet face.

"See?" You screamed back, with your voice ruined by the run and all the crying. "That's the problem. I can't do THIS anymore." Your heart was burning, aching, breaking... everything together, but you couldn't pay attention to it right now.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius just started to scream with you, he couldn't understand what was happening and what got you so upset. And if you weren't with a broken heart, a stubborn Sirius and crying, you could've had noticed how his strong accent got so hot at this sentence.

"Me and you." Your voice failed and you couldn't feel more embarrassed to confess your feeling for him in this way. "I'm sorry. I just can't be around you anymore." And you left.

-

Sirius' eyelids wouldn't close for anything in this world.

He was feeling so tired, but he was trying to sleep since '9:28 PM', by his clock. He turned around again and looked again at the clock beside his bed.

'2:52 AM'

An involuntary groan got out of his throat, while he turned to the other side of the bed, probably for the thousandth time this night. But it didn't matter what he did to sleep - he tried everything literally everything - but nothing seemed to word. So he gave up.

Carefully and without doing a single noise, he got out of his bed and started to draggle himself downstairs. As he got to the common room, he saw that anyone was there, but even with all this 'homey' and warm feeling coming from the couch in front of the little fire, Sirius couldn't catch himself to sit there and watch the different ways the fire can be, just like the other nights.

His feet started to take him out of there, and it even seemed like he was in some kind of a trance, because he just noticed where he was when his eyes saw one of the secret passages to Hogsmeade. But this was one of the most far from the Gryffindor Tower, it's on the other side of the castle. Yeah, looked like he walked all the way here.

His eyes flinched away from the door of the passage as he heard a few light footsteps, or he thought he heard because Sirius looked at everywhere around him and everything he saw was the dark corridors of Hogwarts. And then, he focused on the portrait in front of him, it was a beautiful flower, a daffodil, your favourite.

"Pads, what are you doing? Why are you awake?" A voice came from behind Sirius and, if he didn't know the voice, he would've cursed himself by having forgotten his wand at his dorm.

"I could ask you the same, Prongs." Black turned around and saw his best friend, actually just his face and neck, the rest was covered by his invisible coat. But he noticed the fingers of his right hand holding the map, explaining what he was doing here, at the same moment as Padfoot, at this hour.

"I got anxious about the match against Ravenclaw next week." James said and dropped his head a little bit to the side, silently asking for his best friend the same question, but Sirius just rolled his eyes as an answer. And that was when James noticed the dark bags under Sirius' eyes. "Wow, mate. When was the last time you slept?" Prongs asked and even chuckled a bit, but stopped at the second he saw that Sirius wasn't laughing with him. And by Black's guilty facial expression, he knew pretty well the answer to his question. "Wait, you're telling me you haven't slept since the fight you had with [y/n]?"

"Of course, James! I'm in love with her, how do you want to sleep knowing that I was the one who caused her pain?" Padfoot said a little bit louder, which made James shush him and sight.

"But it's been a week." Potter whispered to his best friend and letting pass the first time that Sirius told him that he loved anyone, with a face full of concern and sympathy.

"So what?"

"You have to talk to her, mate." James just shook his head while giving his advice to Sirius. But both of them knew that that was the thought that was haunting him by the past days.

"No, I don't." Sirius answered and Prongs felt like he could kill his best friend right now (but if he did it, Sirius would never talk to her). "And she doesn't want to talk to me, anyway." Pads finished and it was James' time to roll his eyes by the childish of Black.

"But you love her!" James said louder than he should and looked around to see if any professors or prefects were around to catch the two of them out of bed at this time. But as Sirius opened his mouth to fight with him about it, Potter didn't lose even a second to interrupt any bullshit that was going to come out of Black's mouth. "And don't even try to deny it, because you just said it."

Padfoot sighed, defeated and said the first thing that came on his mind. "But that's why I'm struggling!" His head was starting to hurt by the intense argument and he knew what was coming next. Sirius knew James was right about everything.

"So talk to her! You won't struggle anymore."

-

James' words have been passing around Sirius mind since the day he first said them, three days ago.

'So talk to her! You won't struggle anymore.'

Black has been wanting to talk to you since then, but he doesn't seem to be able to create the courage to go and talk to you. And he couldn't feel more stupid. He's the unique one from the hole Black family to be sorted into Gryffindor, and the Sorting Hat doesn't make mistakes, does it?

Well, he would have time to think about it at detention.

Sirius opened the door, seeing an empty Transfiguration classroom 'perfect, more time alone with my fucking stupid thoughts' and saw Professor McGonagall writing something in a few papers while sitting at her desk. "Hey, Minnie." Sirius said and the professor looked at him with a hard glare by the nickname.

"Hello, Mr Black." She said and pointed at one of the tables, silently saying to Sirius sit. "We'll just wait a second until the other student gets here, so I'll tell you both what to do." Sirius frowned his eyebrows with her sentence.

"There's someone else coming today? Who would it be, Minnie?" He asked and by the look she gave him, Sirius knew that she wouldn't tell him who it was. "Well, what they did to have to pleasure to spend two hours with me?" The professor just looked at the door, probably thinking that it would make the lucky person walk through it, but it didn't actually happen.

"She shouldn't have stayed until too late studying at the library." That was that Minerva said and her gaze still didn't flinch from the door. As Sirius was looking at the professor, he got too lost on the thoughts of how she could wear the same clothes every day - like, does she has a lot of clothes that look the same, or does she wash the same cloth every day and wear those at the next day? - that he just noticed that the door had opened and the person had walked in already when McGonagall moved. "You're finally here, Mrs. [y/l/n]."

Wait-

"I'm so sorry, Minnie. A first-year stopped me on the way here, he was lost and needed help to find our common room, but it's kinda far from here..." Your soft voice echoed through the almost empty classroom. They were pretty sure that you would start to babble about the reason you were late, but when the professor pointed to the chair next to Sirius, you stopped to talk. Maybe it was because you knew that explaining yourself wouldn't be something really important for McGonagall, or it was because you noticed Sirius.

His eyelids were swollen, with dark and deep bags under his eyes, his hair messier then the usual, a paler look on his face, but he was still so handsome. 

A knot formed at your throat with the sight of him so close to you - because those days you were avoiding him, but you still noticed him from afar - and you gulped it while taking deep breaths. You were refusing yourself to cry alone at your dorm, you wouldn't cry or show any weakness near to anyone else that could notice and comment about it. You sat at the chair beside Sirius, but your eyes didn't flinch to any single part of him.

"So, you two stay here, I have more things to take care of, and I'll be right back." Minerva said and started to walk out of the class. Sirius looked at you and your confused expression (was so cute) matched with his, but before the professor went out of the classroom, she looked behind and saw the two of you looking at her. "Just do a few essays, I don't know. Just don't make anything that could give you more detentions." And then she left. But not before locking the door behind her.

"Great." You whispered with your voice full of sarcasm and you hoped that Sirius haven't heard you. 

"[y/n]." Sirius called your name and looked at you, that was taking your things out of your backpack. He wasn't surprised that you would finish the essays you weren't able to finish the day before, but you were surprised with the way your name rolled easily against his tongue and lips. You even had to think about something else so your body wouldn't get shivers all around it. "Can we talk?" He asked and you continued to ignore him. But Sirius doesn't give up easily. "I really need to talk to you, sunshine." Sirius tried to grab your attention again with the nickname he used to call you before all of the chaos that you created.

"Detention is not to talk, Sirius." You whispered and he just huffed at your words, he knew you were going to say some bullshit to try to not talk to him about whatever you were feeling, but he really needed to have this conversation with you, even if he was the only one talking and you listening. "We're supposed to do essays or whatever, but not to talk." Your sassy tone was better than Sirius had ever seen it and if it wasn't for him in another situation, he would be so proud of you learning all he taught you over the years being friends. "If you want to talk, look me at any other place at school, I don't care."

"That's the point! I can't find you anywhere." Sirius was starting to get mad at the way you weren't listening to him or even caring about what he wanted/needed to say to you. "And I'm gonna talk, even if you don't say anything" He said and got up from his chair, that fell back with the abruptly that Sirius got out of it and did a horrible noise at the before quiet classroom, but his harsh movements grabbed your attention and you finally looked at him. "Can't you see that I feel the same way about you?" He said loudly and it almost looked like the whole air was taken away from your lungs.

But you needed to be sure about what feelings he was talking about, you couldn't just act because of a sentence that could have multiple ways to be understood, but you just wanted one of them. "You don't even know how I feel, how can you feel the same?"

"So, tell me." Sirius said softly and stared hard at your eyes, you even though he could see your hole soul from the stare he was giving you and your body trembled under his gaze. "Tell me how you feel."

You don't even know why, how, when or anything, but you just got up and stared back at him, with angry tears starting to blur your vision - sometimes you just wanted to end the way you were so sensible, even about little arguments like this one. "You wanna know how I feel?" You asked at him, with a frowned forehead and closed hands to try to control yourself and not cry in front of him again. "Well, I fell for you." Your voice wasn't on the way you had dreamed that it would be while saying those exact words to Sirius, but you found out you don't have any control over the future so, what can you do? "I fell so hard, that I didn't know who I was anymore. All I cared was about you and the way I could make you happy if we were together. But we never were." Your voice started harsh but it was becoming softer with the seconds you talked. "And it broke me."

"We were never just friends and you know it." Sirius said you felt your heart ache. You knew his words were true, he knew his words were true, your friends knew his words were true, fuck, the hole Hogwarts knew his words were true, and that's what hurt the most. Because even if you were never just friends, whatever the two of you were, never passed from it. You were friends, always.

"I know it, but it was always like this, and neither way you deserve someone better than me." Your voice becomes just a little whisper that no one would be able to hear if it wasn't for the empty class. But Sirius ignored your words and walked to you before you could think of anything else or try to walk away from him, his hands were holding your hips and you couldn't move away from his chest pressed against yours (even if you actually wanted to).

"So, enlighten me." Sirius whispered and his breathe was hitting against your face, with his lips brushing against yours while he talked. "Who better than the love of my life?" His smirk was so big, but you couldn't focus on his beautiful teeth, all you were looking at was his grey eyes. Sirius got afraid that you would walk away from him or break his heart as he had broken yours, but he knew you were going anywhere when you smiled at him, giggling at his words.

Your hands went to the back of his neck and brought his face closer to yours, selling your lips in the most passionate kiss you had ever thought and Sirius could just dream of. You didn't need words to show for each other how you were happy in the arms of each other. It was even being hard to kiss with the smile that fought to appear on your face - by being finally able to run your hands through his soft hair - and on his - by holding your body so close to him that all the times he needed someone to hold him like this, were filled.

Neither of you knew how long you were kissing but you were becoming exhausted with your lungs screaming for you to stop, but you didn't want to, so you just broke the kiss. You were both breathing heavily, but your arms, legs, hands or anything else moved. You and Sirius stayed like this, with your foreheads together, your hands lost on his hair and his arms around your waist, just feeling each other this close, for a while. But you didn't care.

You finally had him. You could call him, yours and he could call you, his.

☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎☀︎︎

+ bonus:

McGonagall, James, Remus, Peter, Lily, Alice and Marlene were watching by the magic mug that Minerva left at the classroom, so they could see what was happening.

"Are they going to kiss?" James asked, for what felt like the millionth time, when Sirius got closer to [y/n] and everyone shushed him, seeing Sirius walk forward and kiss you.

They all cheered seeing them kissing and when they got apart smiling, they all knew the plan had worked. Marlene was even crying for her friend that finally told Padfoot about her feelings and James couldn't stop smiling while looking at his friends happier than ever together.

"I can't believe your plan worked, Minnie." Lily said and everyone nodded at the professor, that was smiling just like them.

"As I already told you, I'm pretty good at getting couples together..." Minerva said and winked at the students that laughed at her and looked at their friends again through the magic spot on the Black Lake that gave them a perfect vision of what was happening on the classroom.

They were so proud that their friends and students we together and happy.

☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾

Taglist:

@cheapglitter​ @weasleysmuch @missmulti​ @writtenbypics @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer​ @dralf0yy​ @buff-bork @rd155 @seppys-return-to-madness​ @luciferedits​ @old-soul-young-mind​ @pxtrickhxckstettxr @sleep-i-ness​ @marauderswhisperer​ @liberty01 @gweaslvy​ @weasleytwins-41 @siriuslysirius07 @turtlepad​ @ilovewinter101​ @monimillion​ @simonsbluee​ @smokey102​ @yourlevanter​ @aberette13​ @yourbloodyqueen​ @loverboyreid​ @eeshea @susceptible-but-siriusexual​

[chat-noir-always-here]

Marinette and Anxiety

First, lets count all the things Marinette has that Adrien doesn’t have:

She has a healthy and positive home environment

Both of her parents are living, active presences in her life

Tom and Sabine love Marinette unconditionally

On top of having loving parents she has extended relatives who care deeply for her

she is allowed to go out and have friends over

going to public school is treated as a necessity rather than a privilege

she has, to some degree, or at least more so than Adrien, knowledge of socializing and is able to perceive signals better

she is on good terms and has a history with almost all of her classmates

she is allowed to explore her hobbies

she is allowed to choose her own occupation 

she has the freedom to do whatever she wants with her schedule outside of school and curfew

I could go on but I trust my point is clear? Marinette is blessed with many of the things Adrien has been denied. Worse, everything listed above falls under the category of “normal” “common decency” or “necessity.”

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts because I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” i use it for walls of texts like this one.

But Mari’s life, despite being vastly different and more fulfilling than Adrien’s, isn’t perfect.

In order to understand Mari’s struggles we need to take a look at her history.

We see in Origins that Marinette has been the target of Chloe’s bullying for a long time—three years or perhaps even longer. As is the case with many victims of bullying she lacked the courage and confidence to stand up for himself and more or less suffered in silence until Alya encouraged her to fight back.

Something to understand about bullying: it drastically warps someone’s perspective. Not only in how they view themselves but the people and environment around them. The end result? Some form of isolation and possibly PTSD. Bullying victims tend to be either physically/mentally withdrawn, or both.

Not a lot is known about Mari’s life before the Origins episode, but given that none of her classmates stood up to Chloe except Alya, we can infer that they have grown accustomed to Chloe’s treatment of Mari and are likely not especially close with her at this point in time. 

In her “In defense of Chat Noir” video, Toon Ruins states that Adrien isn’t especially close with his classmates yet either, saying he is “that friend that your mutual friends invite along and is just kinda there.” Its not unreasonable to presume that Mari was in that spot before she became Ladybug, befriended Alya, and developed enough confidence to stand up for herself as well as others.

It would also help explain why her friends were so quick to doubt her when Lila accused her in the Ladybug episode. Despite everything she’s done for them between Origins and Ladybug, they simply haven’t been close for very long and as Alya pointed out the evidence “was stacked against her.” Of course Alya and Adrien believed her because they are closer with Mari than practically any of her other classmates.

Adrien glaring at Lila when Marinette calls out to him for help. I cannot~~~~

Of course there was another, more obvious reason they doubted her: her feelings for Adrien and how intense she is when acting on them, which as Alya puts it served as her supposed “motive” for “hurting Lila.”

Marinette has often been seen crossing lines that are better off left uncrossed when it comes to Adrien. Her friends, especially the girls, are even somewhat aware of how intense these feelings are. (i.e. Alex’s comment during Gigantitan “Marinette knows a lot about Adrien it’s kinda creepy”).

More often than not, Mari wants to go somewhere mainly for the sake of seeing Adrien. Examples of this are when she’s supposed to wait for Nadja to come pick up her cake and during Simon Says when she is grounded for valid reasons . Often times there is some obligation involved—her promise to show up at Alix and Kim’s challenge and her promise with Nino in Simon Says—but chances are if Adrien weren’t there she wouldn’t want to go so bad (until an akuma showed up that is).

Something to understand about this: Mari has little to no opportunity to see Adrien. Worse, her history of being bullied and her previous status as an “acquaintance” rather than a “close friend” gives her at least some modicum of understanding about his situation. She empathizes with Adrien and cares for him, and is aware of his loneliness. During her life before Ladybug she likely longed for someone who would comfort and console her, and yeah probably found some relief with her mom given how Sabine seems aware of Chloe’s treatment of her daughter.

 But Adrien has no one, and knowing that makes Mari all the more anxious when he doesn’t show up for their social gatherings as well as driving her desire to be the source of love and comfort he so desperately needs.

I won’t deny Mari literally breaking the law for Adrien isn’t okay. Sneaking into his home, stealing his phone, and kissing his statue (its a statue in an important museum. Chances are you’re not supposed to touch those, let alone kiss them) are simply NOT OKAY things to do. A lot of this behavior earns her some hate from the fandom and some well-deserved scolding from Tikki. But rather than making me hate her, or call her a stalker, I’m mostly concerned that she doesn’t understand how bad that is. 

But Chat Blanc was a game changer. Adrien would NEVER have seen Ladybug in his room if she hadn’t taken her sweet time inspecting his belongings, smelling his pillow, etc. Meaning Adrien could have had her present and not known about Ladybug (he may have been curious as to how Mari’s gift got past security though). 

However since Marinette WAS seen by Adrien, he was able to learn her secret identity which led to this:

This is a scenario she never expected. And as she learns this was caused by her own poor judgement, she wastes no time in saving Chat Noir, erasing her name from her gift and allowing Adrien to believe it’s a gift from his Brazilian fan club instead of from her, Marinette.

Chat Blanc was one of the last episodes of s3. Safe to say she probably won’t be breaking into anything anytime soon (theres some debate over the chronological order of the episodes, but if I recall this one takes place either in the last four or five episodes on most lists). She nearly lost her kitty for good after all--that’s not a price she’s ever been willing to pay.

This likely wouldn’t have happened at all except Mari’s life as ladybug has caused her to become accustomed to certain behavior in order to keep her secret. Yeah Mari stole Adrien’s phone right out of his locker—and no that wasn’t okay. But remember when she stole her textbook back from Alya? Taking it right out of her bag when Alya wasn’t looking? Just so you know, in the French version, Mari tells Tikki she wrote her name in that textbook. So her secret identity was in grave danger and she had to act quickly.

You’re damn lucky Alya didn’t crack that book open the minute she got it, Mari.

Anyhoo the point is this: Mari is applying what she has come to know as “acceptable behavior i do to protect my secret identity” to her situation with Adrien and misinterpreting it as “acceptable behavior I do to keep Adrien from possibly rejecting me and crushing my soul.” And in her head, they’re similar even though the consequences of either secret coming out are vastly different.

Really think about the context of that voicemail she sent Adrien—if she had accidentally butt dialed Adrien while taking to Tikki about her life as Ladybug and then had to go steal his phone to keep him from learning the truth the fandom wouldn’t have had nearly as much beef with her over that as she wasn’t the one who created the “secret identities rule.”

The reason the two secrets are equally crucial in keeping, in Mari’s mind, is likely due to her overwhelming anxiety. Which even before she became the Guardian of Paris and then the Guardian of Miraculous she was still an anxious person.

She didn’t have much confidence or even a large support network. But in the span of one day she was entrusted with the safety and well being of every single person in Paris.

She didn’t believe she was cut out for being Ladybug but was denied the option of refusing the position and told to just do her best.

She knew going out she would likely screw up the job and given her task failure wasn’t really an option.

Then her worst fears were realized when she failed to capture her first akuma and many citizens were turned into stone statues. The only way to turn them back was to allow Ivan to be akumatized so she could defeat him and take his akuma. The very knowledge of which crippled her and caused her to give up the ladybug earrings.

She tried to go back to her normal life but couldn’t. Ivan was akumatized, Alya’s life was in danger and Chat Noir was struggling to the point he got captured and needed her help. So she took up being Ladybug again in order to help them.

What was she supposed to do? Watch?

From the very beginning she had no say in the matter. Her life as Marinette wasn’t and isnt easy—she has plenty of her own problems but she was given a Miraculous and basically condemned to being at war with Hawk Moth indefinitely.

Ever give a thought as to why the French government allow these two vigilante teenagers to handle the situation? Because ordinary people can’t. In other words if Mari thought only of herself she would give up the fight and ignore all the ensuing damage. But she can’t. And she won’t. She has a job to do. She could give up her miraculous but that would mean taking the pressure off her shoulders and dumping it all onto someone else just as it was dumped onto her. She cant bring herself to do that and even if she could—who would she possibly give it to?

Just imagining that kind of pressure makes me want hurl from nerves. And as of the S3 finale its gotten worse as she has lost Fu, the person who could give out Miraculouses to other people in case she never comes back one day.

Hawk Moth would win. Game over. That’s what it would mean.

Ladybug and Chat Noir know what Hawk Moth winning would mean better than anyone else does. Of course they won’t walk away from this fight. But that means they have to juggle their double lives until its over, and apparently have to do it again with a second hawk moth later on in the future.

And again, even before all of this Mari had a lot she suffered from. Chloe bullying her, feeling lonely, being clumsy. Clumsiness is mortifying--it truly means suffering. Being the class clutz is like being the class laughingstock. Mari seems to handle it fairly well.

 Until she’s around Adrien. I mean look at her!

Poor girl can’t stand looking so uncool in front of her crush. Even though he seems to find her clumsiness endearing.

Going off what was said in my “Debunking: Adrien is perfect” post, Marinette is hyper-sensitive to Adrien’s situation despite not really knowing the full extent of his suffering. 

Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter. We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. She’s too busy trying not to hurt him. 

Marinette can comprehend Adrien’s situation, couples that with her own past experiences of bullying/ loneliness/ being a clumsy laughingstock. That combined with her love for him and her anxiety-warped common sense, led to the behavior which has earned her some disapproval from the fandom at large.

 But really? Marinette’s not a terrible person. Anymore than Adrien is.

 Adrien’s sometimes-obnoxious-flirting is brought on by his desire to “not look lame” in front of Ladybug. Ergo, his own insecurities are amplified around her because he too lacks confidence.

 Likewise Marinette’s stammering and clumsiness are amplified around Adrien, as is her anxiety and her desire to be cool in front of him.

 They both feel they have to prove themselves to the other in some regard. And they both have past and present experiences that have left them hurting and/or warped their judgement in some ways. 

 This doesn’t make Mari’s irrational behavior any more acceptable than Adrien’s troubles make his leading Kagami on and lying to Ladybug acceptable. It’s not acceptable. But Mari is no more deserving of hate than Adrien is.

They’re just a couple of stressed out kids, folks

[9worldstales]

MCU Loki: Speculations on the “Loki” series

So, for the fun of it I’m gonna speculate on the whole “Loki” series.

For start Time Variance Authority.

In the comic the TVA seems to represent the lawful alignment. It doesn’t mean it will do the same in the “Loki” series, Marvel sometimes change things but let’s pretend they left this unchanged.

Before you start thinking this is a good thing, let’s remember the lawful alignment doesn’t define the moral axis of something, merely the ethical one. General Thunderbolt Ross and the Krees can be considered as lawful as Captain America and Rhodey, only the first two are lawful evil while the last two are lawful good.

Karl Mordo in “Doctor Strange” instead moves from lawful good to lawful evil.

For the TVA what matters are the rules. They are, of course, sure that respecting the rules is a good thing, and if this requires to wipe out an entire temporal line… well, no problem of theirs.

In short the TVA are your sort of guys who might decide that no, the Avengers shouldn’t have gone back in time and hamper with the timeline and save half of the universe because… it’s against their rules.

Here they seem worried that Loki has changed things. I would argue that it’s the Avengers that went back in the past and change things but let’s explore what it means if Loki didn’t met up the same fate as the one of the ordinary timeline.

Well, for start the Bifrost doesn’t get repaired as Thor used the Tesseract to repair it.

This might mean that, for start the Nine Realms will have to do without Asgard’s protection but, in more MCU terms that Thor won’t be able to go back home. There’s to wonder if he’ll manage to make peace with Jane and reach for her when she will be possessed by the Aether.

If he doesn’t, as a result, the Aether can fall more easily in Malekit’s hands, who will attack Earth directly instead than Asgard.

We might not end up having Thanos because the Dark Elves win and wipe away people themselves, turning the whole series in a variation of “War of realms”.

Okay, no, I don’t think we’ll get “War of realms” but it’s a pity.

What I wonder if the fact that they have Loki and Moebius interact is because one is chaotic and the other is lawful and the theme of the story is going to be this.

Chaotic again, isn’t necessarily evil, it only means you don’t respect the rules.

Scott Lang from “Ant-Man” is chaotic good for example. The Vulture from “Spider Man Homecoming” is chaotic evil.

Same as Karl Mordo Loki tends to change his moral axis at need. Prior to “Thor” he’s chaotic good, in “The Avengers” he’s Chaotic evil, in “Avengers: Infinity War” he’s back on being Chaotic good again.

So the whole show can open the discussion of how respecting or not rules should be tied to moral values. We shouldn’t respect a law aimed at hurting others… but we shouldn’t break law carelessly either as there will be consequences.

For example…. There’s a scene showing Loki in Pompeii.

Should the people in the city be warned mount Somma (yeah, it’s mount Somma which erupted, what will remain of it after the eruption will be named Vesuvius) is about to erupt and therefore saved or should we let them all die because, after all, their death is kind of already happened from Loki and Mobius perspective?

It’s a question that, in a way, was opened and ignored in “Avengers: Endgame”. The Avengers decide to save all the people that were blipped away by Thanos… but what about the ones he killed previously?

The half of Asgardian refugees, Heimdall, Loki, the dwarves on Nidavellir, the people on Xandar he wiped away to get the power stone, the people that die in the battle of New York, that was still caused by Thanos even if he didn’t oversee it personally, Gamora’s family and people?

Thor arrives in Asgard and is forced to face that most of the people there will be dead… would it have been really bad if he warned them against Hela so that more could survive? If he saved his mom and then asked her to find an alternate way to get the same ending with the Dark Elves only this time it doesn’t include her dying?

It’s questions worth making because they touch our moral axis as, if we do nothing, we let those people die/dead.

For a greater good? How can we know the result and for who’s the greater good? For us?

So anyway this has the potential to be cool, because when the lines on the moral axis blur and you don’t know anymore if something is good or evil, the decisions are taken by the ethical axis.

And someone lawful would just say ‘the law says so therefore letting those people die has to be the good choice’ while someone chaotic would say ‘screw the law, it can’t be good, I’m gonna save my mom and worry about consequences later’.

And this is awesome material for a story.

Though, of course, they can also take inspiration from “Agent of Asgard” in which old Loki, despite thinking that nothing would change even if Loki were to try to be good, still changed the past so that Loki could have a better chance at life and could make a more informed decision in the end.

(the scene of Loki’s decision is “Agent of Asgard” is AWESOME and way better than whatever redemption arc the MCU came up with by the way so I’m all to get that if they do the appropriate work)

Going on.

In the comics Mobius is a bureaucrat, cloned for his job and who knows nothing else but it.

Of course Marvel can portray him differently but let’s assume they’ll run with this.

So it can be that for Mobius everything is just ‘data’ and people are merely ‘entities’ and this not because he’s evil but because that’s how he has been taught to live.

He studied all of Loki’s life, but that’s it, for him they probably were data, not someone’s life, just a list of facts with no emotional value attached.

Studying Loki’s life is a job, and he might dedicate to it with the same mind setting of a student studying Caesar’s life.

He might not stop to wonder how painful the stabbing was, how horrible it could have been to see that his son was among the stabbers, how desperately he attempted to protect himself as he tried to flee and how brutal the others were as they continued to stab him even when he fell and lay there defenceless.

All he might care for is he died in 15 March 44 BC, attacked by around 60 men and stabbed 23 times, one of the stabs given by Brutus and that’s it. And then on March 15th put on Tumblr a stabbed Caesar salad and joke on his death because, by now Caesar is no more viewed as a person, just as a historical record.

For Mobius Loki might be just a record and even if Loki sits in front of him, he’s no more than data and someone to use. If Mobius gets an arc in which he develops he might learn to view Loki as a person, which doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll stop being lawful.

He might learn to feel sorry for him but still say ‘but the law says this is it’ or he might shift his ethical axis.

It would still be an interesting plot.

And for Loki too there’s potential for things to be interesting because he might, for once, to feel in control.

Most of Loki’s life is dictated by him not being in control.

He didn’t get to decide to be a Frost Giant, picked up by Odin, raised by an Asgardian and revealed the truth too late. He didn’t get to decide to be the less favoured son and he came to believe nothing he would do would make him worthy in Odin’s eyes. He was sent by Thanos to conquer Earth, manipulated by the sceptre. And now the TVA has captured him and they’re forcing him to cooperate.

If he’s given the power to affect the past he might grow to believe he’s actually not forced to submit to other people’s choices but that he’s in control of his fate.

It’s part of the point of “Agent of Asgard”.

Old Loki came to believe no matter what he did, he couldn’t change things, he would always be the ‘god of lies’, but the Loki of “Agent of Asgard” instead decided he would be something else and became the master of his own fate.

It would be a good development.

Of course, I’ve not the slightest idea if Marvel will go according to this route.

There’s really too little to judge and I’ll admit I won’t like it much if the point is not so much to save Loki but save Lady Loki because, no offence to Lady Loki who might have an even worse past than Loki, but it’s Loki the character I grew to love and I wish would be saved.

Last but not least, as I feared the whole ‘You've literally stabbed people in the back like fifty times’ quote produced a lot of discussing when it shouldn’t have.

Like, we miss most of the content but, from the look of it, it’s not like Loki, on his own, decided to pay a visit to the TVA and to help them. They captured him, he even though they wanted to kill him, they very likely forced him to cooperate.

Now, in this case any guy with an ounce of brain does what Tony did when he was held captive by the Ten Rings and they asked him to build them weapons if they don’t want to end tortured or killed. They say ‘yes’, gain their trust and then build a Iron-Man suit behind their back with whom they can stab them. In the back, yeah, because that’s what people with a modicum intelligence and no magic hammer should do with guys who overpower them and held them captive.

It’s a basic survival skill, not a proof you’re untrustworthy. People don’t own captors to be trustworthy to them and this message must never be allowed to pass.

You has to be trustworthy with people who deserve it, not with people who force you to be subservient.

So yeah, I hope Loki will stab the TVA in the back because no matter how lawful an righteous they feel, they clearly impose to everyone their law and no matter how much they claim they make the world better, they’re clearly sacrificing people.

[sastrugie]

john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one 

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments 

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest)  which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music 

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like��“no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)

[mars-commissions]

Kaito x Kei Fluff Commission

2k words

Kaito stopped his motorcycle in front of Kei’s house, removing his helmet to let his short blonde hair breathe, the spiked locks swaying in the breeze. His roots were notably darker than the rest of his hair, seeing as he liked to dye it a lighter tone to match his golden eyes. If you came closer to him, you’d notice a small smiley-face earring on his left ear. He stood a bit below average height and was clad in a black button-down shirt, brown capris, and hiking boots. With no access to a place to clean his clothes, they were a little dirty, but he managed to look presentable to the best of his ability.

It wasn’t Kei’s house exactly, but an abandoned house he and Kaito had been squatting in for a few weeks. It was a long story, but that was their current situation. Kaito had been out all day going to stores to find anything he could use to repair or use to do maintenance on his motorbike. Who knew, what if they’d have to leave town and go somewhere more rural, far from any stores? They knew they wouldn’t be able to stay in one place for long, but at least they had each other.

The two boys were only seventeen but had experienced things that you wouldn’t normally have to go through at that age. Most of their peers weren’t running from the cops after breaking out of prison, they were at home sleeping or staying up all night to study. After all, they were only teenagers. They should be in school too, but they didn’t have much of a choice. The idea of being on the run constantly felt pretty ordinary to them at this point.

It especially wasn’t a foreign idea to Kaito, seeing as his dad was a convict and a distrust for a system was all he had ever known. He never trusted the police as a child and was taught to be clever like his father. The reason why the two boys had been separated, to begin with, was that Kaito’s dad was a felon. Kei had cut him off as soon as his mom told him. He regretted it now, but Kaito had moved on and accepted Kei’s apology.

He patiently waited for his boyfriend to come out to go on a ride with him. It was fairly late into the night. Kaito had chosen to ride at night because there were fewer cars and it was peaceful at night. They also were at a lower risk of getting caught and sent back to jail. Kaito going out for the day was one thing, but the two of them in public in broad daylight was just asking to get arrested again.

Kaito was cautious and made sure to wear sunglasses inside of stores when he didn’t have his motorcycle helmet on. It wasn’t the best disguise, but it was better than nothing. But at night, they’d be as free as birds, able to go anywhere they desired within the city with a low risk of being discovered. The door to the abandoned house opened and Kei sprinted over to him, hugging him. Kaito laughed it off, slipping his helmet onto Kei’s head.

Kei was taller than Kaito, but only by a bit and was a lot scrawnier. Kaito was the strongest of the two, but Kei made up for it with his intellect. Kei had short black hair which could be seen through the visor of the helmet. He had been wearing his signature outfit; a white t-shirt tucked into plain black pants. He too didn’t have many options for clothes and had to make do with whatever he had with nothing but the clothes on his back.

“I missed you all day, I was so worried.” Kei grinned.

“I did too. I don’t mind if I get hurt if we end up in an accident, but I don’t think I’d ever been able to forgive myself if something were to happen to you,” Kaito said as he adjusted the various buckles to fit Kei’s head.

It had been a while since they had reunited and the two had started dating very quickly into their reconciliation. They were inseparable. Kaito was very protective over Kei and wouldn’t dare let anyone lay as much as a finger on his beloved boyfriend. Kaito was shorter by a bit but would take anyone down if it meant his boyfriend would be protected. He sounded like he was very strong, but he had a soft spot in his heart for Kei. No matter how hard he tried to hide behind a rough exterior, he’d always be loving to Kei, even if they were fighting, which seldom happened.

“Ok, weirdo, don’t get all mushy on me,” Kei teased, bringing up his old nickname for his boyfriend.

“Not my fault that I care about your safety. You mean so much to me.” Kaito smiled, getting on his motorcycle.

Kaito patted the space on the black leather seat behind him, letting Kei sit with his arms wrapped around him. He rested his head on his shoulder, shutting his eyes and giving him a tight squeeze, letting out a sigh of comfort. Kaito blushed, smiling to himself. He loved when Kei was affectionate because it gave him a sense of reassurance. It was as if it were Kei’s way of telling him that all of this being on the run stuff was worth it if it meant that he would get to be with him. He knew that of course, but it was the heartful reminder that he needed.

“Where to?” Kaito asked.

“I’m not sure, just take me anywhere.” Kei shrugged.

Kaito started up his motorcycle and began to gain momentum. He stayed at a reasonable speed, cruising down the barren streets. The roads were empty, aside from a few parked cars on the side of the road. They had intentionally chosen this location to hide in temporarily, because of how close it was to their childhood homes. It was for nostalgic purposes, rather than being a safe place to hide. They were sure they’d be caught sooner, but maybe the police assumed they had gone elsewhere. It might have been the last time they got to see their hometown and they wanted to make the most of it before it was too late. He stopped in front of a playground, pointing at it to draw Kei’s attention.

“I remember going to that park as a kid with you before we stopped talking,” Kaito said.

The playground was empty without a person in sight. The colourful structure was lined with ladders, slides, and monkey bars for children to play on. There was even a swing set. The metal chains holding the swings up squeaked as the wind passed through them, making them rub against each other.

“I remember playing here too. I’m really sorry for cutting you out of my life all of those years. I still feel a little guilty about it sometimes. I thought you hated me for the longest time.” Kei sighed, burying his face into Kaito’s shoulder.

“Don’t feel bad about it. You were just a kid and didn’t understand. I’m so glad you came back eventually.” Kaito reassured, starting his motorcycle back up.

“I’m glad I did too,” Kei said in agreeance.

The motorcycle continued to take them to their next mystery location. They passed by the houses of the suburban area before they slowly turned into shops, indicating that they were out in a more public area and would need to be extra careful. Kaito stopped the motorcycle in front of a convenience store, parking it so they could go inside. Before they could go in, the two boys put on hats and sunglasses. They looked a bit odd to be wearing them at night but was for the sake of concealing their identities, even if it meant looking a bit unusual. Kaito opened the door for Kei as they made their way inside.

“Let’s get slushies and drink them on the curb,” Kaito suggested.

“Sure, why not. I feel like we deserve it after all we had to go through.” Kei laughed, shaking his head at Kaito.

“Yeah, I don’t think running from the cops is something most people have to do every day,” Kaito said softly, not wanting to alert the cashier that they were convicts.

They filled up their slushie cups with soda-flavoured slush and headed to the counter to pay. As he made small talk with the cashier, Kei paid for their slushies and snacks they grabbed on the way out. They could’ve easily shoplifted, but getting caught and sent back to jail over a cheap chocolate bar wasn’t worth the risk, even if it meant saving a few bucks.

Sitting on the curb next to where Kaito had parked the motorcycle, they began to eat, chatting about being kids like they were old friends. It was dark out and the only illumination that allowed them to see was the light seeping through the windows of the convenience store. Blue and red light emitted from a large neon sign that informed passersby that they were open, but it wasn’t bright enough to shine on Kaito and Kei.

“Kai, I just wanted to say thanks for saving me back there. You were so willing to help me even though all I’ve ever done is pushed you aside.” Kei thanked, peeling the wrapper of a chocolate bar.

“You’ve thanked me for helping you a hundred times already. Give me a piece of chocolate and then we can be even.” Kaito said, holding his palm open.

Kei carefully broke off a piece of his chocolate bar, handing it over to Kaito, who had eaten it in mere seconds. They sat in comfortable silence as they both chewed on the chocolate pieces. Kaito inched over slowly, trying to break the space between him and Kei on the curb.

“I’m worried that if you sit too close to me, someone might see,” Kei said, biting his lip nervously.

“It’s two in the morning. I think it’s a lot more severe that we just busted out of prison than the fact that we’re dating. I’m proud to have you as my boyfriend.” Kaito smiled.

“I guess you’re right. And no one’s around to see this.” Kei blushed, leaning closer to Kaito and softly kissing his cheek.

Kaito put his arm around Kei so he could rest his head on Kaito’s shoulder. It was a little chilly since it was late in the night, so cuddling made it easier to share their body heat so neither of the two would get cold.

“Nope. I can promise you that only I saw that. And even if someone did, they’d just be happy for us. And if they weren’t, I’d fight them for you.” Kaito chuckled.

“I don’t think there’s anyone else I’d rather be on the run with. You know so much more than me, I’m more book smart when it comes to intelligence, but that means almost nothing out here.” Kei sighed.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, I think you’re smart,” Kaito assured.

The two snuggled on the curbside as the sky went from dark and full of stars to a light reddish-orange. Clouds dotted the sky, now more visible that the sun was peaking over the horizon ahead of them. The picturesque cityscape left the two in awe. It was bittersweet to have to leave the city so soon, but they knew they wouldn’t be able to stay long. The city was beautiful, but it was too risky and they’d surely be caught lurking there. Out in the middle of nowhere was their only option.

“So,” Kaito murmured, ”What do you say we get out of here before we’re seen?”

“Yeah, let’s get going.” Kei agreed.

And just like that, the boys were back on Kaito’s motorcycle, looking for somewhere new to crash.

Message me if you’re interested in commissioning me!

[kill-for-cookies]

Be for you

Dhawan!Doctor x Reader

Summary: On your first week at work, your boss called you. You felt a little thrill. And not by accident...

Words: 3446

Note: I’m not a big fan of Doctor x Reader relationship (I think, my works show it clearly), but Dhawan!Doctor... He’s just cute and soft boy. He deserves more love. Hope, you enjoy it!

--------------------------------------------------- Who would have thought that on the first week at work (after traveling with the Doctor) you would be standing in front of this door? In front of your boss' door. You weren't exactly jumping for joy. 

You didn't dare knock on the door. Your hand stopped halfway. It was so unusual. You weren't at work for a long time, because your adventures with the Doctor lasted for two months without a break. 

Although that was in the past now. You must return from the stars to Earth. Your schedule just required a few corrections. For example, cross out saving planets from monsters and add a daily boring, completely normal work. Easier to say than do. 

"You wanted to see me?" you hesitantly and shyly knocked on the door and looked into the office.

"Yes, come in, Y/N." 

Now you were inside. It was a nice office. There was a lot of wood here. Walls, table, bookcases. In addition, there was nothing extra. Mr. Peterson, your boss, stood at his desk and made a sign with his hand for you to sit down in the chair.  

You hadn't been here very often. You were an ordinary employee. Maybe it would have been better if it hadn't been for adventures among the stars and in different eras. That was why your chest was filled with confusion and thrill. 

"So, why did you call me? Did I do something wrong?" of course, this was unlikely to happen. After all, in fact, it was your first working week in a long time and you did everything as usual. 

"Oh, no. It is exactly the opposite" your boss had a nice smile on his face. You inwardly let out a sigh of relief. "You're doing your job well, but that's not why I called you. I wanted to know why you weren't at work for 2 months." 

Damn it. That was bad. You needed to lie. You couldn't tell him you were a time traveler. Besides, no one forbade you to ask the Doctor to return you a second after he took you. And he offered it to you, but you just shook your head. So it was partly your fault. 

"Well... I was traveling." 

That was the only thing that came into your head. You could have done better. But it wouldn't be so difficult to lie about it. After all, it was true. You just didn't need to say where... And when.

"Traveling? Where?" Mr. Peterson walked around you and stood behind you. You didn't turn your head to look at him. 

"Um... in Europe" actually, it was so. You were in Europe, but not in the 21st century... Well, there were adventures in space. "France, Spain, Germ..." 

You were interrupted. There was a strange sound in the room. It was like bones crunching or breaking. You turned in your chair, gripping the arms tightly. Mr. Peterson's head was shaking like he had a seizure... 

For the God's sake! It took your breath away, because you definitely didn't expect this. Something started to come out of his head... No, not something. It was the eye of a Dalek! A blaster appeared from his hand. Great! Your boss was a Dalek. Where did the Daleks get these ideas? 

Before you could jump out of your chair, you were blinded by a bright light. Head felt heavy and dizzy. After a second, everything went dark and you passed out. 

*

'Am I dead? Is this life after death? Why does my head hurt so much?' wait... If you were dead, how could you feel pain? And the floor was very cold, like metal.  

'So I'm not dead. But why am I alive? It was a Dalek. Isn't he supposed to kill everyone who isn't Dalek?'

So many questions and so few answers. Maybe if you tried to open your eyes, you would learn something. Like where you were or why you weren't killed. Your eyelids were heavy, as if they weighed several tons. But you overcame yourself and managed to open them. Vision was blurred and the room was spinning a little. Maybe you had a slight concussion. 

Okay, you weren't dead. There was a little doubt, though. The room you were in was completely white and empty. Very empty. There was nothing. No furniture (which made sense, since the Daleks didn't need it), no windows. Only white walls, floor, ceiling and door. 

Wait... The door! You ran up to it and pulled the handle. Unfortunately, the door didn't budge. You put a little more effort into it, but this didn't work either. This was useless. The door was locked and there was no way out of this situation.  

You weren't alone for long. The door opened and a Dalek entered. Normal Dalek. In a metal case. Who would have thought you'd be happy about this? At least, something normal... Well, as far as it was possible with Daleks. 

"You must come with me" a shiver went down your spine. Despite two years of traveling with the Doctor, you still were a little afraid of the Daleks. 

"Why must I?"

The Dalek ignored your question. He just turned around and walked out of your prison cell. Okay... To get answers you needed to follow him. Besides, you didn't have much choice. 

You followed your jailer through the corridors. The corridors weren't high. Not that you hit your head on the ceiling. This wasn't true. You didn't bend, but it wasn't so comfortable. 

And you were in a spacious room. It must have been the bridge of a ship. You stopped in front of big (bigger than the others) red Dalek. Obviously, he was in charge. You were surrounded by other Daleks, which there were many. Dozens. Hundreds. 

Yeah! You definitely couldn't escape. Even if there was one Dalek, you wouldn't be able to do it. The Doctor once said one Dalek could take over the Earth. So you didn't stand a chance.

"Why am I here? Why didn't you kill me?" you asked, suppressing your fear and taking your courage. You were just tired of being a lady in distress and shaking with fear. The Doctor wouldn't stay quiet, so you wouldn't either. 

"You will tell us where the Doctor is" the Supreme Dalek's thunderous voice rang out across the room. 

So that was why you were here. That explained why you weren't killed. Not so bad. But it turned out the Daleks knew you. Knew you were traveling with the Doctor. And it twisted your stomach. 

"What makes you think I know where he is?" you had no idea where the Doctor was. As soon as the Daleks realise this, they would kill you immediately. So you were going to stall. Usually, it helped the Doctor. 

"You are companion of the Doctor. You know where he is" that wasn't really how it worked. These were two completely different things. But the Daleks didn't need to know that. 

"And I'll tell you because..."

"We'll kill you."

Well, that wasn't exactly the best prospect. Of course, you didn't dream of it. But that wouldn't convince you to say (even if you knew where the Doctor was, that wasn't so). Of course, you were afraid of death, but you would never betray the Doctor... Wait! Oh, you got it. 

"You won't" the Supreme Dalek was clearly surprised. If he had a face, you'd see it. But it was clear enough. 

"Why? Explain!" The Daleks around you also shouted 'Explain!' 

"If you kill me, you won't find the Doctor" if this information saved you from death, then you would be silent. You didn't care you didn't know. 

"Then we will hold you as a hostage" apparently, you weren't the only stubborn here. The Daleks weren't giving up, trying to find some benefit from the fact they captured you. 

"That still doesn't answer my question." 

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. You were no longer afraid. Well, not exactly. The Daleks still gave you the creeps, but at least, they wouldn't shoot you with a blaster. Although you had no idea how to get out of here. 

"The Doctor will come for you" you only ironically smiled. 

The Doctor wouldn't come. You recently had a argument with him. In general, this was the first time. And probably the last. 

The Doctor brought you to a planet that (as you later learned) was ruled by a tyrant. Oppressed the people, restricted the rights and freedoms of citizens, constantly fought with other planets. A typical tyrant.

So you and the Doctor were in the lair of the Resistance, which was preparing an attempt to kill this tyrant. Of course, he was terrible ruler. There were no questions.

But killing wasn't right. The Doctor thought the opposite, although the Doctor you started traveling with would never have thought like this. Then there was a argument and you ended up leaving him. 

"Seriously? Do you really think the Doctor will come for me? So I want to inform you... you're wrong. He won't come."

"But you are companion of the Doctor..."

"Yes, it is. But the Doctor had so many companions that it's difficult to count. We travel with him and this is the best time of our lives. But it always ends. He leaves us and never returns."

Something slid down your hand, but you didn't pay attention to it. You wanted to finish your monologue first. Then you could check what it was. 

"The same thing happened to me. The Doctor isn't an idiot to come straight to you" you felt someone pulling your hand and quite hard. "Surely he has already found a new companion and is traveling with him or her. And I don't even resent it. Because that's his life. And that's why it was so painful for me to leave him."

The Daleks stopped paying attention to you and listening a long time ago. They were looking at something... or someone. You heard your name. These tins didn't know it for sure. So you turned abruptly to this voice. 

For the God's sake! You didn't expect this. Everything you said was true. You were absolutely sure. Didn't even exaggerate. But you were very wrong. The Doctor was standing to your left, holding your hand. You couldn't believe your eyes.

"Is it really you?" your hand went to his face to make sure the Doctor was real. But you uncertainly pulled your hand away, flexing fingers. 

"Yes..." a nice and sweet smile appeared on the Doctor's face. But it didn't last long. You slapped him with all the force and anger you had. 

"You idiot! You did what they wanted you to do. What for?" you were so mad at him. Sometimes the Doctor was so stupid, despite his age and knowledge. 

"Ouch! That hurt!" he put a hand to his burning cheek, rubbing it to ease the pain. "I came to save you and this is how you thank me?" you just rolled eyes. 

"Serves you right. I'm not worth getting you shot. You have other things to do. Saving the Universe, for example." 

"There's no point in saving the Universe if you're not there" after that, your carefully constructed walls collapsed. Fell apart. Scattered brick by brick. You couldn't be mad at him anymore.

"So you have a plan, right?" you stood half-turned to the Daleks, looking at the Doctor with hope in your eyes. He couldn't have come here without a plan, could he?

"Plan? For what?" his round eyes met yours. The Doctor looked surprised. Dork... Or maybe he was just playing in front of the Daleks? But he still was a dork. 

"To escape, of course."

"I thought it was just a friendly conversation. I didn't even take the TARDIS with me!" 

The last sentence was very loud. Even too loud. The Daleks definitely heard that. And it was definitely not done by accident. 

The TARDIS must be somewhere nearby. You carefully and attentively looked around, but there was no blue police box. So she was somewhere on the ship? No, not likely. That would be stupid. How would you find it then and why the Doctor said it so loud? Obviously, the Doctor came here on the TARDIS. 

What if... Of course, it sounded crazy, but it was the only explanation you had. Besides, after traveling with the Doctor, you realised many things were possible. You assumed the TARDIS was invisible. If you weren't mistaken, the Doctor mentioned a long time ago that did it once and ended up in the White house in 1969.

In any case, it would be difficult to find the TARDIS. But you weren't going to give up so easily. You tried to find the box with your hands, which you put behind your back. 

"So, why did you guys want to see me?" 

The Doctor clapped as he moved closer to the Daleks, who even moved away. Great. The Doctor drew all the attention to himself. You mentally thanked him, because now you had more time to find the invisible police box.

"Exterm..."

The Supreme Dalek didn't finish sentence, as the Doctor interrupted him. You couldn't help but smile at that. You missed it so much. This was so similar to your Doctor. 

"Oh, come on! It's been so long since we've seen each other. Why don't we talk first and then you try to kill me?" 

There was a pat. You prayed to all possible gods that the Daleks didn't hear it. Well, at least, they didn't pay enough attention. You finally found the TARDIS. Well, you groped. A few seconds after and the door handle was in your hand. 

"Although you are Daleks. For you talking and killing is the same thing" the Doctor walked up to you without turning to you. "Y/N, are you ready?"

You nodded and opened your mouth to say something, but you didn't have time. The ship tilted. You immediately realised it was time to act (apparently, an old habit from travelling in time and space).

You pushed an invisible door and stepped in console room. The Doctor came in after you and slammed the door. A second later, the sounds of blasters and Dalek shouts were heard. 

And now you were in the TARDIS again... Home again. You missed it very much. But you wasn't sure of what exactly. The TARDIS, adventures or the Doctor. The Doctor ran to the console, frantically pushing buttons and pulling levers. 

"What will happen to the Daleks? Why did the ship tilt?" you tried to catch up with the Doctor to see his face, but you couldn't. He was running around the console too fast.

"I just shut down the generator and engines beforehand, so their ship is falling." He finally stopped and gave you his brilliant smile. A sign that you should be impressed. You should, but you weren't. There was one unpleasant thing. More bad than unpleasant. 

"Falling? But the Earth is under it!" 

"Don't worry, they had a teleport. I just moved the ship to orbit of another planet" you just raised an eyebrow at this remark. Not because you didn't believe, but because you was curious where exactly. "Skaro, planet of the Daleks. Decided to bring them home."

The Doctor came closer to you and let out a deep breath. Apparently, he was afraid to say the next sentence. Was afraid you'd say no. It's like he was in a minefield and stepped on one, instead of talking to you.

"I... I'm sorry. Really sorry. I was awful. When you left... I wasn't worthy to be called as the Doctor..." 

He smiled, looking at you for a few seconds and studying your face, which showed no emotion. His eyes were glazed and filled with tears, so he looked away as if ashamed. 

"Teach me to be him" it was barely above a whisper. 

You stared blankly at the Doctor. It hurt to see him like this. He never cried... Well, at least, you didn't see it. And it pricked your heart. He cried in front of you. Doctor. Cried. The one the Daleks were afraid of and whole armies fled. 

"Look at me, please" your hand went to his cheek and a faint smile spread across your face. 

The Doctor only raised his eyes. There was regret and pain in them. You were trying to figure out why. You didn't say no to him. Silly.

And that was probably why you loved him. Very much. You just realised the Doctor was more than a friend to you. Being away from him for a while (even if it wasn't long) showed you that. 

You looked at the Doctor and he looked at you. It was like you had a silent conversation with him. Without words or telepathy. And it must come to end, because you did something. 

You closed the distance and kissed him, pulling his face closer with your hand. You felt something wet on your cheeks. It must have been his tears... Or yours?  

You two were crying. You missed each other so much. Adventures together, reading in the pleasant silence of each other and looking at the stars in the doorway of the TARDIS. None of you had any idea how painful the separation was.

When you pulled away, you just noticed how his hands were on your waist and yours on his shoulders.

"So you..."

Before the Doctor could finish, the phone rang. Someone wanted to contact you. Your cheeks are flushed and red with embarrassment and shame. You bit your lower lip. Whoever it was, you hated him or she very much right now. The moment was ruined. 

"I need to answer it."

You were out of his arms. Didn't want to, but you had to. For you it was sad and offended. You took your phone out of pocket and looked at who was calling you. It was Anya, your sister. You took a deep, heavy breath and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" you were silently cursing Anya and hoping it wouldn't take long. "Well, I finally got through to you, Y/N. I'm at your door. Where are you?"

"Um... What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about our movie night. Have you forgotten?" damn it! Movie night. You were so ashamed, because Anya stood at your door and at this time you were in the TARDIS, millions of light years away from your apartment. 

"Nooo. Of course, not" even from your voice it was clear this wasn't true. 

"You're somewhere else, aren't you?"

"Yes..."

"Ugh! Y/N, seriously?! We haven't been able to gather together and watch some movies for half a year."

"Listen... I don't know how to tell you this..." 

You looked back at the Doctor, who was watching the phone conversation. You didn't know before whom you were more ashamed. Before the Doctor for interrupting such a moment or before Anya for making her stand at your door. 

"You went on another trip with your mysterious boyfriend that you don't want me to meet. I already understood" but the irritation in her voice was gone. Now there was... Curiosity? "So you made up with him? Oh, so our little Y/N learned to cope with difficulties."

"Anya!" 

Your sister often liked to annoy and tease you. Although this strange way she showed she was caring and you knew it. But it didn't mean you liked that. 

"Okay. But seriously, I'm happy for you. I'm just warning you if there isn't movie night next time, I'll break your boyfriend's nose."

You just rolled eyes and looked at the Doctor again. You were hoping that if he met your sister, it wouldn't be under these circumstances. 

After saying goodbye to Anya, you headed for the door leading to the center of the TARDIS. But before you were halfway there, the Doctor stopped you by grabbing your wrist and looked at you questioningly. 

"What? I want to change clothes. Office wear isn't very comfortable on the beach. Or on Spa planet" you tried to say it seriously, but your smile gave you away. 

After that the Doctor released your hand, almost jumping with joy that you were staying at the TARDIS. 

You could feel his eyes still studying you. Apparently, the Doctor was trying to answer questions that came up after your conversation. 

You were trying to find answers, too. You both still had to figure out what happened before the phone call. What it was all about and how far it would go. But this would remain for another day. Now you needed to relax.