#yeah okay some people definitely read a lot of books because they just want to show off a ridiculously long list of finished books on

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Just saw a post that it's like "reading challenges are a thing because of capitalism pushing you to buy more books" and a reply to it that was like "yeah and all the jokes about being unable to control yourself when buying books are also because of that and didn't exist before 2010" and I mean. Capitalism is definitely shaping this industry too but I'm pretty sure 10 years old me (before 2010) didn't go to the bookstore and made their parents spend around 100€ in it every couple months and read all of those books very fast because of capitalism. Sometimes people just really like to read, that's also a thing that happens

[lesbianraskolnikov]

he lives in my brain.

[leviathanlazarus]

In Your Fantasy

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x (F) Reader

Word Count: ~5300

Warnings: semi-public sex (like...very low-key), oral sex (F receiving), unprotected PIV sex. 18+ only ~

This took me forever to finish because I started it before my stupid tonsillectomy and I was totally useless throughout most of the recovery. Also, it's been absolutely ages since I wrote a Jake x Reader fic so I'm not sure how I feel about it...I really enjoyed writing this regardless of my trepidation though. I loved the idea of falling in love with him at work and him being so cheeky...hope you enjoy it too <3

P.S. also ages ago, I wrote a Josh x Reader fic that also took place in a library which you can read here. Links on my desktop masterlist aren't active for some reason...but I found it using a certain tag lmao. If you know, you know.

---

You were finishing up fixing the order of some art books in the back of the library when you felt Jake come up behind you. “Wanna hear something kind of crazy?” he whispered in your ear, his chin nearly on your shoulder, his hair brushing against yours. Without even seeing him, the closeness and warmth of his body and the low, husky whisper sent a tingle up your spine–he certainly added a level of intrigue to working in a library. 

“Always,” you said, slipping the last book into the correct spot. It was a quiet Thursday afternoon–you’d thought it’d actually be busier given the rain that kept bucketing down outside, creating an even cozier atmosphere, but maybe people just wanted to stay home with their books instead. That was fine by you. You liked it when it was nearly dead silent throughout the building and Jake was there to occasionally break through, his voice a river through your thoughts and his subtle touches all shockwaves to your heart. 

When you turned around to face him, Jake looked like he was holding back a hilarious joke or something, eyes all eager and a grin tight on his lips like he was bursting at the seams. “So I just went to the bathroom and guess what I heard?” he went on, raising his eyebrows. 

You scrunched up your nose, already worried. This wasn’t what you were expecting when he’d said ‘something crazy.’ What sort of craziness happened in libraries anyway? “There are a lot of things I can think of. Is this a gross story?”

Jake chuckled. “It depends on your definition of ‘gross.’ Okay,” he said, looking around to make sure you two were still alone in the section. Then he looked into your eyes again and lowered his voice even more to tell you, “There were people fucking in there.” 

You scoffed, offended on behalf of the library–the sacred, beautiful space where people went to relax and read, not deal with lewd conduct. That wasn’t crazy, that was just offensive! “What, like two guys?” you questioned, tilting your head, a little irked at Jake finding this all so funny. 

“No, a guy and a girl.”

“Ugh. That’s even worse. Women shouldn’t have to deal with getting laid in a men’s bathroom,” you said, then were momentarily distracting yourself with yet another out of place book on the shelf.  “I’d never do that. I can’t believe someone else is. I mean, kids go here.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jake said slowly. He leaned against the bookshelf and looked at you pointedly, his dark eyes even darker in the dim light. “Then again–”

Before he could finish, you had another thought. “Wait, Jake–did you say anything to them?”

“No. What could I say? I just high-tailed it out of there as soon as I heard.”

You sighed. The whole thing would be far more redeemable if your boyfriend had at least tried to throw out some warning words to the perpetrators. “You should have told them to stop. I would have.”

“I’m sure they finished soon after I left.” He smirked. “It sounded like they were pretty close.”

You groaned quietly and turned away, preferring to find another thing to busy yourself with now. “Gross. They should be banned.”

Jake followed along right at your side as you whisked through the rest of the art section and back to the cart you needed to empty. “I didn’t see who they were, so no chance of that.” At the cart, he put his hands on it, keeping it in place. “I actually thought you’d find it sort of amusing, Y/N.”

You leaned over, almost close enough to touch your noses together. “You’re such a guy. Only a guy would think it’s amusing and not disgusting.” 

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you’re just a little stuffy,” Jake replied, tilting his head up as if he were challenging you. “Although maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, considering we’ve never done anything like that.”

You scoffed again and leaned back, surprised and still a little irritated, but also genuinely curious. “Oh, so you want to fuck around in a public place? That’s something I didn’t know about you.”

Jake’s challenging stance turned crestfallen, and he lifted one of your hands to press a kiss to. “Forget I said anything about it. I mean, I suppose you’re right–it is kind of gross.” He kept your hand clasped in his for a few seconds as he said, “But I’d never make love to you in a public bathroom. I’d hope you know me better than that.”

You looked over your shoulder at the sound of a man clearing his throat, settling down into a chair with a newspaper. He wasn’t paying any attention to you or Jake, but you gave the cart a push anyway, cajoling Jake off it so you could navigate to where you needed to go next. 

“It’s really the fact that it’s the bathroom that makes it so gross,” you whispered as Jake kept following you. You couldn’t deny you’d had some secret fantasies about getting it on in the library–after all, it was where you and Jake had met and where you continued to spend the most time together. But none of your fantasies included the restrooms in the hall, or the utility closet or that little corridor tucked away across from the restrooms where the vending machines were. Too grody, too cramped, too obvious.

“At least our bathrooms are clean.” Jake parked himself right next to you once you were in the biography section, and when you stepped away from the cart, he wrapped his arms around your waist and held you in place. “But if I’m being really honest, I have thought about us, well, fooling around here. I think it’s quite surprising we never have.”

“Jake,” you said in an attempt to protest, but his sweet, pretty face and ticklish touch on your waist made you giggle, and his confession that echoed your own secret thoughts lit a little spark. “We work here!” 

“So? All the more reason. It’s always been our special place.” Jake smiled as he got even closer to kiss you; you kissed him back, looping your arms over his shoulders. He was smiling even bigger when you both broke away and he said, “You know, it’s just me closing tonight. You should stay after with me.”

“God, and do what?” you replied, but, despite yourself, you were growing more intrigued. 

“Well, don’t you think the study rooms here are nice and cozy?” Jake questioned, still latching himself to your side as you started to put more books away. “There aren’t any cameras in any of them either. No one would know.”

You looked up at him from your crouched position, sliding a book into place. “Someone would know. Someone would find out somehow.” You were quickly finding even more perfectly good reasons in your mind not to do this, to not even really toy with the idea, but the more you thought about it, the more you thought, why not? Could the risk make it more fun? Even just the new, ill-fitting, sort of scandalous environment? 

Besides, Jake really did look hot today. He looked hot every day, but the second you’d seen him after he’d come into work earlier, he’d lit a fire in your belly that was more intense than usual. His hair had the perfect level of slight messiness and the relaxed black button-down shirt was perhaps one or two buttons shy of being overtly inappropriate for work; the smooth tan skin of his chest exposed and acting as a lovely backdrop to the long silver chain dangling, the pendant hitting his sternum. You could imagine tugging on that chain, grasping the pendant in your palm, to pull him closer while he pressed you against one of those thick wooden tables. You’d run your fingers through his hair and kiss him in the frozen silence, and maybe no one would ever know after all.

“I can practically hear the wheels turning,” Jake remarked, tapping your forehead once you were standing again. “You know you want to.” 

You let out an inadvertent nervous giggle and rolled your eyes. “Yes, I’m thinking about it.”

Jake stepped closer, pressing you back against the cart of books. “I’d love to hear some of those thoughts,” he said, putting his hands on your waist.

“You’re lucky it’s dead here today,” you said, keeping your voice a whisper despite the, indeed, dead library around you. You rested your arms over his shoulders, twisting a strand of his hair between your fingers; Jake just kept looking at you with that sweet, silently begging gaze until you giggled, relenting. “Okay. I was, um…thinking about you pushing me down on one of those big tables.”

Jake’s eyebrows rose. “What else?”

“Well…” you began, looking down at his dark jeans rubbing against your skirt. “You’re giving me some more ideas now.” You lifted one foot off the floor to rub your calf over his, the delicate material of your tights creating subtle but scintillating friction against his denim. 

Jake ran the tip of his nose up your cheek and whispered in your ear, “Same here.” 

Just as you were closing your eyes and allowing yourself to let your environment fall away around you, to forget about all the risk of being caught right there, and just as Jake’s hand was sliding down between your legs, a person’s incredibly soft–thanks to the clever carpeting job–footsteps headed your way yanked you right out of the moment.

Jake, too. He shot back and cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair and looked in the direction of the footsteps; you did too, and soon enough an older woman with her nose already in an open book trotted past the shelves. 

“See?” you whispered, gesturing at the passer-by who was already out of view. “It’s so easy to get caught.”

“Please, that lady didn’t notice a thing. Alright,” Jake said before he stole one last hurried kiss. “I should let you keep doing your job and I should carry on with mine. But will you stay after with me tonight?”

You pursed your lips as you looked at him, considering, but it wasn’t long before you said, “Alright, Jake. I’ll stay after and we can play out your little fantasy.”

“It’s your fantasy too, baby doll,” Jake said with a wink before he half-turned, beginning to step away. “I think we’ve established that.”

-

There wasn’t a whole lot to keep your mind occupied as the afternoon carried on. The rain kept coming down, hammering hard against the roof and windows, and the sky outside was pure gray, all flat and blank. It reminded you of your first day working here, as a matter of fact–that morning in the previous late October, when autumn’s chill was officially in the air. A fine layer of frost had even been on the ground that morning; your shoes had crunched over it on the short walk to your car and you’d had to use your defroster once you turned the key, your anxiety peaking as you had to wait even longer to start the new job. 

How could such a quiet, peaceful place encite so much anxiety anyway? You remembered wondering that very question as you walked over the sidewalk to the library entrance for the first time since being hired, the concrete slick with that morning frost and the beginnings of a gentle rainfall. And just when you’d been settling in and getting comfortable, Jake had showed up and introduced himself, all casual and easy like he didn’t know he was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen.

Thankfully, Jake was also the sweetest man you’d ever met. It didn’t take long before his beauty and charm stopped intimidating you and instead just made you feel all light and full of joy–you were simply happy to chat with him whenever you both could spare a few minutes. Those few minutes steadily turned into shared breaks; then, shared lunches where you’d sit out back on the one picnic table when the weather permitted. Then he started bringing you special treats sometimes, things he knew you liked because he actually listened about what you liked, and then after that he started bringing you whole lunches packed with love and care that you’d never experienced before. 

So, after all that, was it really such a big deal to make love inside the place in which you fell in love?

None of your other coworkers even seemed to notice that you were staying later than planned this evening. But, just to be safe, you also made a point to hide out in the kid’s section when closing time crept up, busying yourself with cleaning up stray crayons and markers and then browsing through some of the newer picture book additions when you were done with that. 

When you were sliding one picture book back onto the shelf and reaching for another, you noticed the part of the library beyond the kid’s section dim; you stood up and walked out into the main area, and there Jake was behind the checkout counters flipping switches.

“Despite almost always being the one to close,” he said, flipping another switch. “I still sometimes forget which lights actually get turned off and which ones stay on.”

A path of yellow light led the way past the checkout and reception, past the few rows of public use desktop computers. Jake held your hand as you both stepped through the library, your heartbeat speeding up a bit with nervous yet delightful anticipation; a few more steps and you were further into the very back of the library, just about there. Four study rooms were staggered just beyond the teen reading section, two on the left and two on the right with a wall of windows in between. 

Jake opened the door to the last study room on the right. A large window was in there too, soaking in the deep sunset that was resting beyond the grass outside and the trees, and the mostly-bare branches of all the trees were throwing shadows across the library grounds. Then Jake flipped the light on, making it all disappear.

“Oh no,” you said, reaching behind him to flip it off again. “It’s sort of magical with the light off. Look at that sunset.”

Jake followed your gaze out the window to the wash of deep blue painted across the sky, nighttime so early in autumn that only a slight sliver of golden-orange remained just on the horizon. The rain had stopped a few minutes ago and had left a lingering mist on the ground, its faint haze trailing along just outside the windows–the whole scene was so much more peaceful than what was going on inside your head. You couldn’t shake the possibility of getting caught even though Jake was right about there being no cameras back here, and there was no one else around, not even any of the custodial staff, and not a soul out there in the fog. Just you and Jake in the little dark study room, his hand still warm around your own.

Your thoughts started to drift away, making space for your mind to comprehend the shadowed image of Jake before you as he gently turned you to face him. He smiled with the slightest bit of white teeth gleaming between his full lips, and you instinctively smiled back, pulled under his charm again. So, now effortlessly charmed and put at ease, you wrapped him in your arms and pulled him close, caressing his shoulder blade with one hand and the slight curve of his waist with the other as both of your smiles disappeared into a kiss. 

“You were making me crazy all day,” he remarked between the kisses that accelerated with both of your lips parted and the wet meeting of tongues. 

“Really? You kept it well-hidden.” Of course Jake did–you never doubted his affection and passion for you, but he kept everything so private. It was one of the many things you liked about him. You cupped the back of his head, sinking your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp with your nails just the way he liked it, and kissed him again.

“God, your ass in this skirt,” Jake said, voice a little rough, and he reached down to grab you there. “The way your hips move.” He licked his bottom lip as he took a moment to just look at you, his eyes scanning your face. “So unbelievably pretty.”

You held the side of his face. “You are too, Jakey.” He really was, and even in the dark–perhaps especially in the dark, actually. The shadows enveloped him in even more mystery than normal, but you could still so plainly see the angles of his face and the smoothness of his skin in the faint, distant glow of the lingering sunset. Jake smiled at the sound of that little nickname coming from you, then disappeared as he pressed his lips to yours again and pushed you back against the table just like in your little fantasy. 

You felt the warmth of his hand travel around your hip then slide down over your skirt; you kissed him harder and spread your legs a little wider when his fingers skated effortlessly up your thigh over your tights. Jake purred against your mouth as he traced the seam of those tights, and subsequently the crotch of your panties beneath, with one fingertip, and your own hands hurried down his body with much less grace to squeeze his ass and feel the hardness between his legs as reciprocity. 

Before you could do much more than that, he was pushing your skirt up all the way with one hand and continuing to use the other to tease you. Your breath caught in your throat as you were finding yourself trying to stay silent despite the library being completely empty; Jake carried on with longer, deeper touches over the crotch of your panties and tights. The steady back and forth of his fingers over the two thin layers of fabric sent a delightful tingle of pleasure up your spine but you couldn’t forget his either–you kept that one hand of your own on his crotch too, gently squeezing his erection through his pants.

Jake huffed softly and kissed you again; you clutched his arm with your other hand, squeezing his bicep. Maybe other people didn’t mind getting caught–maybe there really was some sort of thrill to it. Maybe other people actually sometimes wanted others to witness their most intimate moments but you didn’t. You couldn’t imagine doing this with the lights on in the middle of the day, with the soft noises of people beyond the walls and the risk of someone catching a glimpse from opening the door or from outside the windows. You were perfectly happy with having Jake all to yourself in the shadowed little square study room, his skin so perfectly warm, his kiss so perfectly molded to yours.

“Was this part of your fantasy?” Jake questioned as he slowly sank to his knees, keeping your skirt bunched up over your hips with both hands now. But it was obvious what he was doing, so you took their place to keep it out of the way while his hands squeezed your thighs as he pressed his face between your legs.

The scant sharpness of his teeth over your crotch made you gasp. “Maybe,” you answered, thighs quivering against the table behind you.

“Oh, come on,” Jake beckoned, looking up at you with a sweet but slightly mischievous gaze, his eyebrows raised just enough to display teasing curiosity. 

“Seems like you already know,” you replied, stifling a giggle at him struggling to get your tights down from beneath your skirt. 

“I don’t know how you wear these things,” he remarked, which made you actually let out a laugh.

“Just rip them for fuck’s sake,” you instructed, eager now, already wet for him. “They’re not expensive.”

Jake didn’t hesitate. “If you insist,” he said as he grabbed a fistful of black nylon in each hand and ripped the tights right open, then quickly pulled your panties to the side next, giving you no time to think at all anymore. Whatever words your mind may have found merely turned to shaky breaths as you watched Jake’s face disappear between your legs again.

He gave a little hum just as he went straight in, the bridge of his nose rubbing up against your clit while he dove his tongue into your center like he really did want to eat up all the arousal that had been conjured up just for him. Your fingers found his hair again, knuckles curling to tug the long strands while your nails scratched his scalp again and he let out a little pleased sound, almost like a gratified laugh, and dug his own blunt nails into your inner thigh as he kept you spread open. 

One word finally emerged from your lips–Jake’s name, simply spoken in a soft tone as the ministration of his tongue and lips had you squirming and quivering even harder, your heels digging into the carpet below as you slightly struggled to stay upright. The repeated flicks of tongue over your clit disappeared for a brief moment, then slowed to one long drag of his tongue over your center just to start that quick pace again. Sighs and whimpers were dragged out of you with each lick; when Jake slipped two fingers in, the slow but easy stretch made you tremble and clench your fingers into his hair even harder.

“You’re so tight,” he commented when he pulled back just enough for you to look down again and see your own wetness glistening on his lips and chin. You could feel it too, how much tighter you were clenching around his fingers as he gently thrust them and teased, curling them and now rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“You’re so good,” you told him breathlessly, closing your eyes again when the sensations had you arching your back. You hissed and bit your lip when Jake’s mouth found you again, his tongue teasing your clit more while he slid his fingers in deeper.

You had thought it would take more of a conscious effort to relax in this space and just let go, but it was easy, so easy–you just let your body respond to Jake with each tremble and moan and gasp and tug at his hair until your legs were outright shaking. Panting, the peak rising deep inside, you pulled him closer and he obliged, sucking on your clit as his fingers curled and gently tugged deep inside you too as if he was literally trying to pull you right to the edge you were already rapidly careening to.

His name from your lips once more wasn’t a soft little sigh; it was a sharp, long whine that seemed to boom in the little study room. Your ferocity surprised you even more when the overstimulation came on so soon and you yanked his head back with one hand and shoved him away with the other, your hand gripping his shoulder. Panting, eyes still shut, you could feel how much wetter you were with his saliva and the rush of your orgasm, the fluid soaking your panties that were pulled to the side and even the very inside of your thighs. 

Jake pressing a kiss to your thigh made you look down but he was getting up on his feet now; your gaze followed the steady movement of his rise and then you were whisked away into blissful darkness again when he closed in and kissed you–close-lipped because he was so polite. But you parted yours and slid your tongue over his and gripped his waist tight for a moment before hastily getting those buttons on his shirt undone, fingers trailing all the way down to get his pants undone next. 

He tentatively pushed you back onto the table a bit more so your feet were off the floor, legs still spread wide around him and dangling when he pulled his pants and underwear down just enough to reveal that heated hardness. His cock leaked just a bit as he stroked it once, looking at you, and a blip of that old insecurity born from adoration and fascination stroked your brain, because Jake was just so beautiful and his beauty was so much more stark in contrast to the plain white walls behind him. 

“That was intense,” Jake said with a chuckle, leaning in to kiss you. You sighed against his lips as he slid the head of his cock all through your wet center, making a point to rub longer and harder over your clit. As he slid in, taking your breath away entirely, he sighed too and you watched his shoulders drop and his chest flush and he asked, so casually, “Is your fantasy being fulfilled?”

Even with the impact of Jake’s cock filling you so perfectly, you had to laugh. “You're a fantasy, Jake,” you told him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to bring him closer, to make the head of his cock hit so deep inside you that you gasped again as if you weren’t expecting the feeling. “What about–” You had to pause when Jake gave his first thrust. “What about your fantasy? This was all your idea.”

“It was a shared idea,” he reminded you with the cutest little smile. How could anyone be so sexy and adorable at the same time, especially during the actual act of sex, especially when that sex was taking place inside a public library? But he was, and you kept your eyes on him as he steadily sped up with his hips and his hands explored your body over your clothes, one squeezing your breast through your shirt and the other smoothing down your waist, your hip, traveling around your thigh.

“Oh god,” you chirped when Jake’s fingers made contact with your still-sensitive clit; but he was gentle, clearly deliberately being slow with the little circles he was making. With your arms still a loop around his shoulders, you sank your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and held him there for a minute before the soft pink of his chest became too tempting not to touch.

“Fuck yeah, that feels amazing,” Jake said in that deliciously hazy, husky voice after you slipped your hands past his open shirt to toy with his nipples. Bringing more attention to him put your lingering overstimulation in the background–you continued to tease with one hand while the other skated over the other side of his chest, feeling his warm, soft skin, up to his neck. You caressed him there, your fingers lightly touching the tender skin along his throat and then up to his ear, and Jake moaned softly and tilted his head to try and get more contact.

That was fine by you. You lightly scratched behind his ear like he was a cat and he sort of purred like one anyway, making you giggle; Jake giggled too and surged forward, picking up his pace as he whisked you away with another series of kisses that were deep but just sloppy enough for your mutual moans to be voiced. 

But, also to your surprise, Jake began to voice more thoughts between increasingly ragged breaths: “Remember when we first met?” he asked, his fingers over your clit sliding down to get slick again from your own arousal. “That was–fuck, that was such a good day.”

“It was,” you agreed, playing with one of his earrings as your other hand squeezed his pec. “I’m lucky I even got the job here. For a lot of reasons.” You stole another lingering kiss before adding, “You’re the biggest reason.”

Jake smiled. The sunset that had been just barely clinging to life when you’d both began was gone now–the only illumination was coming from a parking lot light that was too far away from the windows to see, but the pale yellow glow was scant enough to see that alluring, mystical beauty that your boyfriend possessed. Just looking at his face was enough to make you come again.

But Jake’s skilled fingers and the heat, weight and stretch of his cock still thrusting into you certainly helped. You buried your face against his neck now that you had access to all of him; a thick sob was muffled as you tightened and spasmed around him, and you heard him let out a quiet “wow” as the second orgasm rolled through you. 

His fingers on your clit, thankfully, moved away. He gripped your thigh again instead; his pace was now messy and fierce, and you had to fight to stay in place not only from the harsh movements and how the table you were sitting on was skidding a bit across the floor, but also from that second round of intense bodily excitement. 

“God,” you huffed, stifling another laugh. Apparently it didn't matter where you were–if you were with Jake, he just gave you the giggles. “You’re really going for it.”

Jake cradled the back of your head, messing with your hair a bit. “And I’m–hmm–almost there.”

You kissed him softly and sweetly, from his collarbone and up his neck to his ear. “Good boy,” you whispered there, giving his ear a nibble. Jake moaned wordlessly in response and gave one last deep, solid thrust that jostled you backwards and made the table creak, then he went slack over you, his whole upper body all loose and so hot that warmth was radiating through his shirt.

When Jake lifted his head, you leaned back and waved the back of your hand over your forehead with a silly “whew” motion; Jake laughed and nodded, then slowly pulled out. He collapsed forward again, resting his head on your chest, and you wrapped your arms around him once more. 

“Well, we’ve done it once. Do we ever need to do it again?” you asked, petting his back.

“Like, um, sex?” Jake asked, mumbling against your chest. “Or sex in the library?”

“In the library, duh,” you said with a chuckle, and kissed him when he lifted himself up and looked at you. 

“Where else should we do it?” Jake replied, his tone and little smile making it obvious he was kidding–finally. You were glad to have played out this little fantasy and do something new and a little risky, but you’d be even more glad to just go back to the way things were. Nothing wrong with a classic. 

“Our bed, definitely,” you said, and Jake smiled and nodded again; you began working on buttoning up his shirt. “Our couch. The floor. Maybe the shower.” 

“Maybe?”

“Last time we tried the shower, you nearly cracked your head open,” you reminded him, lifting a hand to cup his jaw. “And nearly broke your perfect teeth.”

Jake’s smile grew wider. “That would be terrible, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d never forgive that stupid shower.”

Jake patted his hands from your shoulders down the length of your body, stopping at your ankles. “Well, babe, we’re both in one piece now, aren’t we? Time to close up?”

“Definitely. The custodians are probably going to be here any minute.”

“Oh my.” Jake held your hand to bring you off the table. “That would have been quite the show for them.” 

“No more shows,” you said as you both put the finishing touches on getting yourselves decent before Jake opened the door. “I should be the only one looking at you when we fuck.”

---

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[bloodibambiidoll]

Sugar and Spice: Part 1

(E.M. x Fem!Reader x S.H.) Part 2 Series Masterlist.

Summary: Steve has massive crush on you, Eddie’s childhood bestfriend who just came home from collage. The only problem is you despised him in highschool and he’s pretty sure Eddie’s in love with you.

Warnings: Eventual smut, pining, love triangle, no upside down, eventual steddie x reader, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, fluff, no use of Y/N so definitely a billion pet names. There’s not really any for this chapter, it’s mostly setting the scene for the rest of the story. Mentions of sex and some swearing. I will add additional warnings each chapter! But still my work is always 18+MNDI

A/N: Okay I found this in my docs and I was reading over it and got inspired to keep writing it. I’ve had this idea in my head for a long time about a Reader who has a kind of like pastel goth type of aesthetic. Like she plays D&D and loves horror but also really loves chick flicks and pink. She listens to Black Sabbath but then will turn around and listen to Blondie in the same 10 minutes. Collects Care Bears but has read every Anne Rice book. I feel like both Eddie and Steve would lose their minds over that. There will be no physical descriptions of reader besides the outfits she wears, which will be things like big chunky goth boots and fuzzy pink sweaters. Ngl it’s kinda self indulgent of me but I hope there’s others who can relate to her.🤭 divider I used is by: @firefly-graphics

Steve wasn’t obsessed with you, at least he tried to convince himself that was the case. He hadn’t seen you since you graduated and moved to the city. But ever since you’ve been back it’s like he sees you everywhere. You come into his work sometimes and rent horror movies, or on rare occasions you rent something totally cute and left-field like The Little Mermaid. You wore outfits that were somehow the hottest and cutest thing he’s ever seen at once, his favorite he’s ever seen you in was this short little black skirt and a pink button up cardigan that you replaced the buttons with little skulls all brought together by the big platform boots you’re usually wearing. That contrast just made him more infatuated with you. You were like sugar and spice wrapped up in one really beautiful girl.

But there were TWO major problems, one being that you hated him In highschool. He was an arrogant asshole who thought he was better than everyone, could do whatever he wanted and looked down on the kind of people you hung around. You were pretty quiet but outspoken and opinionated when you wanted to be, kept close to the few friends you had and always had your head in some kind of horror or vampire book that Steve would definitely not understand but would’ve totally listened to you talk about all day just to hear you talk about something you loved. He always thought you were pretty, even in highschool when you used to dress a lot more reserved. Mostly ripped jeans, the occasional Care Bears tee, and shirts of bands he didn’t know. He even asked you out once Junior year before he got with Nancy and you laughed in his face and said “yeah fucking right Harrington, good one” But now? You’re always wearing those little mini skirts, low cut tank tops, and ripped up fishnets. Steve literally feels like he can’t think around you.

Which brings him to problem number two…Eddie. You and Eddie are bestfriends and have been since middle school, he’s part of the reason you never liked Steve because of the way he and his friends treated Eddie. Even though Steve was never directly mean to YOU, his friends were and that was enough. But Steve and Eddie had a recently developed… acquaintanceship due to their mutual friendship with Dustin. It took some time and convincing but once they got past their preconceived notions of each other they were able to be civil. Eddie being in the group meant when you came back naturally you were integrated in as well. Which means Steve has seen you in an actual social setting multiple times now.

You think that would be great, right? Wrong. Eddie was constantly touching you. Holding your hand, putting his arms around your waist, you sitting IN HIS LAP. It drove Steve fucking crazy, especially because he knows that Eddie loves you and he feels just a little bad about it because he had actually started to really like Eddie and maybe even began to see him as a friend. But seeing him all over you drove him insane and made him have a bad taste in his mouth every time he heard his name. He was pretty sure you loved Eddie. The way you looked at him and the gentle way you handled him and spoke to him like he wasn’t the resident metalhead drug dealer but a giant teddy bear that needed to be hugged and cared for.

Steve would’ve given up in an instant if you said you were Eddie’s girl, but you always said you guys were bestfriends despite the fact that Eddie definitely called you his girl on multiple occasions to the entire group. You definitely had feelings for him. He could see it but there was also something keeping you from making it official and that gave Steve hope. Especially once you warmed up to him and started sitting on HIS lap sometimes. You would just come and plop down across his knees looking at him all sweet like it was the most casual thing and you didn’t just make his brain short circuit. You started calling him cute little pet names and kissing his cheek every time you saw him.

Again, these things would all be fantastic IF you didn’t do all the same things and more with Eddie. Every time you sat on Eddie’s lap he literally wanted to rip you off of him and kiss you right in front of Eddie’s smug face. He was always smirking at Steve over your shoulder because he knew Steve liked you. He confronted him about it last week when they were at the arcade with Dustin and Mike.

“So. You like her don’t you?” Eddie just asked him out of the blue. Steve looked at him with a confused look on his face not really registering what he meant at first “Huh? Like who?”

“Don’t play dumb man, you know who I’m talking about” Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes

“Why would you think she would ever like you back? You treated us like shit in highschool and just because she’s more confident and can stand to be in the same room as you, now you want her? Fuck that. She deserves better than that, she is so much more than how she looks.”

Steve was kind of taken back at first, knowing he wasn’t exactly wrong “You don’t think I know that Munson? I don’t just like her because she’s hot. She also has this confidence and energy about her that’s just really attractive. She’s fucking funny and not afraid to be herself. She’s got that whole sugar and spice thing going on where she’s so sweet and gentle one second and the next she’s cussing like a sailor going off on these cute little tangents. I thought we established I’m not the guy I was in highschool anymore. I’m not some player trying to go through women. I like her.” he kind of didn’t mean to say ALL of that but it just kept coming out once he started talking about you he couldn’t help it.

“Okay I get it, you actually like her. Either way she’s never going to go for you, you aren’t even her type.” He grabbed the sleeve of Steve’s bright blue crew neck “I’ve never seen her be into a pretty boy like you, she likes dudes who look like they’re part of the lost boys clan or the dudes she sees on MTV.”

Steve couldn’t help but roll his eyes “Sooo, you then? If you love her so much then why aren’t you with her?” Eddie flushed and his face fell slightly “because man, she’s the most important person in my life. Imagine if we got together for real and then we broke up? Things wouldn’t be the same between us, I might lose her entirely”

“When you say ‘for real’ what does that mean?” Steve asked him, hoping it didn’t mean what he thought it meant.

“I mean we do a lot of couple things, we go on bestfriend dates, we are super affectionate with each other, we fuck sometimes, but both of us are scared if we decided to be together for real it would ruin it” Eddie shrugged like he didn’t just metaphorically punch Steve in the chest with that information.

“So what? Are you guys exclusive or what? Because if you’re not, I’m going to ask her out.” Steve just shrugged trying to play it off.

“Dude. Are you seriously going to ask out my girl after what I just said!?”

“Yeah, DUDE. You just said she wasn’t yours so is she or isn’t she?”

“Now that I finally have you around without Eddie I can ask the question I’ve been dying to ask, what’s the deal with you two? Are you like, together?” Robin suddenly asked you out of the blue.

Her and Nancy finally convinced you to have a girls day with them. You went and got mani pedis and picked up lunch so you could eat it back at Nancy and Jonathan’s apartment while you watched some movies Robin got from work.

“I mean… Technically? No. You could say we are like bestfriends with benefits I guess? We have kind of been fooling around off and on since sophomore year of highschool when we lost our virginity to each other.”

“And you’re… okay with that?”

“Yeah Robin, I’m okay with it. We decided a long time ago that us being together for real wasn't really an option. Imagine if we broke up? I couldn’t handle losing him.” You bit your lip, just the thought of losing Eddie made you anxious.

Now you had Nancy curious “So have you ever been with anyone else? Or are you guys like exclusive friends with benefits? Because if you’ve only ever been with him I’d say you’re pretty much together anyways.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve had hookups and flings, so has Eddie. I had a few guys I went on a couple dates with when I was gone at school but I’ve never had an actual relationship really. Neither has he.”

“So you’re telling us, you’ve been fucking on and off and on for almost EIGHT YEARS, never had a real relationship, and yet you guys still aren’t actually together? Don’t you think that’s maybe the reason neither of you have ever had a relationship? You’re stuck on each other?” Nancy, always the voice of reason.

“I absolutely know that’s why, I compare every guy to Eddie and no one has measured up. He treats me like a princess, why would I want a boyfriend who treats me anything less than that?” You shrugged and took another bite of your egg roll.

“Okay but what about when you do find that person? Or he does? What then? Things will change either way.” Robin questioned. She had her own reasons for bringing this all up in the first place. She knew Steve liked you, and he made her promise not to mettle but just asking if you were single isn’t meddling, right?

“I don’t know Robin, we’ve never talked about it. We will cross that bridge when the time comes.” You hoped they would let it go after that. It’s not that you necessarily didn’t want to talk about your relationship with Eddie, it’s just whenever anyone brings up that it probably has an eventual expiration date you feel like your whole world is crashing down.

“So there’s really no one you’ve ever thought you really really liked?” Okay, maybe she was reaching meddling territory now.

“Nope. Never. Can we just watch dirty dancing now?”

You didn’t feel like elaborating more than that, especially since recently there was someone you’d started to like. It was confusing and very much against your will but you had started to develop a small crush on Steve. You tried really hard to give him the cold shoulder when you first got back, you spent years with feelings of animosity towards him but if even Eddie could give him another chance you figured you could too. Then of course he had to be just so sweet, and such a gentleman, always telling you that you looked pretty and he smelled so good. It honestly made you want to punch him in the face. Or kiss him. Or both.

Robin narrowed her eyes at you but decided to drop it for now, even though she could tell there was definitely something you weren’t telling them with how quickly you decided to change the subject.

“Yeah okay, let’s watch the movie. But I’m not letting this go forever.”

“I didn’t even think for a second that you would.” You laughed and pressed play on the VHS.

Your love life wasn’t brought up anymore after that but that didn’t keep you from thinking about it. What would happen if Eddie got a girlfriend? You and him were never exclusive but the thought of him actually loving someone made you feel sick. Did he feel the same way? You hoped he did. Does that mean you want things with him to be exclusive? You’d never really allowed yourself to have those thoughts but now you were starting to wonder.

Then there was Steve, who just added to your confusion. Something about him just drew you to him, even back in highschool when you felt nothing but negative feelings toward him it was like he was everywhere you looked. Maybe you always had a small crush on him but would’ve never in a million years admitted it to yourself back then. It’s not like you would’ve ever had a chance, he treated everyone like you like dirt under his shoe. He never bullied you directly but him picking on your friends was enough to tell you how he probably felt about you too. Then you remember that one time Junior year when he asked you out, did he actually mean it? The thought that he might like you made your insides heat up and you felt like one of those girls you used to make fun of in highschool for swooning over him.

Robin could practically see the gears turning in your head, it was very obvious you weren’t watching the movie at all and she knew she told Steve she wouldn’t involve herself but she just had this feeling…

“You like Steve don’t you?” Robin’s voice snapped you out of your cycle of spiraling thoughts and you whipped your head around to look at her.

“What!?”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

HI RAVEN!!!! 🤔 kinda a random thought not really but would you consider ace and sebek to be like? RIVALS? or to have a strong dislike towards eachother compared to other first years/students? 🤔🤔 haven’t read much sebek stuff or book 7 so maybe it’s just the way I interpret things……..

🤔🤔 for me at least I feel like ace brings up sebek especially a handful of times? and to bash on him too or at least poke fun at him. can’t think of a lot off the top of my head but in ace’s birthday jacket vignette he picks at sebek specifically when going thru dorm choices. WHICH LIKE……. I DUNNO ITS GIVING VERY “I BEEF W HIM” VIBES. I figured it could just be because he’s a fellow first year but ?? jack or epel don’t get mentioned when he was talking about their dorms so i’m not sure 🤔

👁️👁️ but I wanna hear your take on it!!! are ace and sebek ACTUALLY beefing or was it all just a headcanon??? 😭😭 hopefully I didn’t yap too much. btw

Sorry for the lack of screenshots; I don’t own all the relevant cards in EN and didn’t want to include screenshots sporadically 💦

But!! I did my best to cite where I’m pulling my information from (main story, vignettes, etc.) and directly quote from the official localization. Hope that’s okay!

I mean… Sebek is pretty much always pissing off his peers because of the condescending way he talks to them. It’s no wonder why he rubs people the wrong way. As for Ace, he has indicated that he finds Sebek to be a pain in the ass. I don’t know if I would personally call it “beefing” though?? I see it more as Ace just wants Sebek to shut up and chill out (though Sebek would definitely shout at Ace and fight him) 😂

Point is, I don’t see Sebek having a particular disdain for Ace (he is abrasive toward everyone), but I do see Ace having a particular dislike for Sebek. They aren’t “rivals” in the same way that Ace and Deuce are, as Ace and Sebek don’t really compete for anything or get into many instances of bickering—at least not from what we see. That might just be a product of Sebek being formally introduced later than the other first years, but even counting vignettes and event interactions, it’s still pretty one-sided; often we see Ace commenting on Sebek but not the other way around.

According to Ace in 7-11, he knows Sebek because they’re in the same Magic Analysis/Enigmics (EN writes this class as both of these so it can get confusing) elective. He also implies (in 7-34) sharing other electives with Sebek. This means Ace has regular direct experience with Sebek compared to the other first years (except maybe Deuce?)… ie more opporunities to be annoyed by Sebek’s arrogant loner attitude.

Ace reports (again, in 7-34) that “[Sebek] insults people like, all the time. He even says stuff right to my face when we're in the same group, like, 'Don't you dare slow me down, human!' And he always finds some way to make every subject about Malleus, then drones on and on about how great he is." In regards to those intense feelings about Malleus, Ace says "[Sebek] takes it to a whole other level [...] I can see why people would idolize [Malleus]. But, like, you don't have to make it your entire personality, y'know?" Ace repeats these ideas in his Birthday Boy vignettes. “[Sebek]’s always yelling something or other about his precious Malleus. Oh yeah, and he talks down to us for being human. Dude's a total fae fanboy.”

In Sebek's School Uniform vignette, Sebek yells at Ace for running in the halls. Ace responds by calling him an "uptight nag" whose yelling will disturb other students. Ace also points out how pathetic Sebek comes across as after witnessing him trip over himself to apologize to Malleus. “Dude, nothing you say's gonna impress anyone after that sorry sight.” When Ace tries to leave the scene to make it to class, Sebek shouts at him. “You wait just a minute! I'm not finished! COME BACK HERE!” It should be noted that Ace is someone who always tries to find shortcuts or ways to get out of work whereas Sebek is strict and diligent. Their mindsets and values naturally clash.

This, I think, is a very good summary of most people's problems with Sebek. Ace is just saying what's on everyone's mind--and this makes sense for Ace's character, as he has consistently been the type of guy to call others out. He also encourages Yuu to do the same (in his Birthday Boy vignettes). This detail at least implies Ace finds it amusing on occasion to tease Sebek for his shortcomings.

We see Sebek’s behavior in class for ourselves in his Dorm Uniform vignettes. Ace actually appears in them too, remarking that Sebek is a “loudmouth”. This is something he echoes in his Birthday Boy vignettes; “Loudmouth doesn't even begin to describe him.” When Sebek starts arguing with his group members (some mobs) and refusing to work with them while simultaneously extolling Malleus, Ace says “Here we go again with Sebek and his ‘liege’… Man, imagine being grouped with that guy who […] All he had to do was play nice and let [the mob students] help. He CHOSE to make things harder. How does that guy even function in society?” Side note: In Ace’s Suitor Suit vignettes, he calls Sebek the “number-one worst contender” for a groom. Ace clearly thinks Sebek is unfriendly and annoying in areas extending beyond academics or school life. This is, of course, in addition to Ace finding his loud voice grating.

Later in the same vignettes, Ace and Deuce are forced to sit close to Sebek in the crowded cafeteria. Sebek insists to Lilia that his classes are going well, to which Ace starts snickering and reveals the truth: “Dude... No problems whatsoever? You've got nothing BUT problems, bro! Haha!” Deuce pitches in: “He got into a loud argument with some classmates during our defensive magic lesson. He called his groupmates ‘burdens’ and insisted on doing their entire project by himself.” Ace then says Sebek must think highly of himself and gets annoyed when his words are taken literally. “Do you not understand sarcasm either?” He tells Sebek to fix his attitude, but it doesn’t seem to work. Ace sighs and says he’s just wasting his breath on this.

Sebek’s Dorm Uniform vignettes illustrate Sebek’s general struggles to get along with all of his classmates, not just Ace or Ace specifically. Deuce notably also calls Sebek out for causing trouble for his peers, even stating “[…] as an aspiring honor student, I can't condone your behavior. Having confidence is fine and all, but you shouldn't make things harder for others. That's just being obnoxious.” Sebek pisses off the other first years in 7-34 too, calling them “shallow” and making a terrible first impression. Ace, who is also present, says that no one wants to be chummy with him anyway—not if he’s going to act like that.

In conclusion, Ace has explained his rationale for disliking Sebek many times over. Rather than saying Ace has a problem with Sebek, I think it would be more accurate to say that Ace has a problem with Sebek and is simply relaying the opinions that everyone else holds directly to Sebek’s face. (He gets annoyed that Sebek takes none of it to heart though.) As for the other party, Sebek chides Ace no differently than he would anyone else stepping out of line, not appreciating Malleus, or… just existing as a human 💀 He doesn’t seem to have issues with Ace other than his lax attitude (which could also apply to many other characters such as Leona).

In my opinion, Ace and Sebek are not rivals (at least not major ones), nor do they have specific beef with each other outside of one-off instances or whenever Ace is in the mood to lay down The Truth and embarrass Sebek. I see Ace and Deuce as your classic rivals and Sebek as like… a villain of the week who cameos here and there after his first appearance to cause shenanigans.

[hannigramislife]

Question: What's your opinion on all Dazai ships? I personally think that literally everyone could do better <3

Omgg anon, I love this ask so goddamn much!! Okay, let's get into it-this is gonna be long.

Two things before I continue. One, I'm a Hannigram fan, make of that what you will. Secondly, shipping does not mean "oh, these two are definitely canon, they have feelings for each other," shipping has always meant "I love their dynamic and can see a world where it could be romantic." That's why we have more than one.

Soukoku (Dazai/Chuuya) - Obviously this was gonna be my first choice to start this conversation. I think that soukoku is textually supported. I'm sorry, but there's just some things you don't write if you don't want people to ship two characters. These two are written for each other, therefore a perfectly valid ship. I myself do not ship skk, don't care about them as a ship at all, but I can certainly see the appeal. They have a history, and they're now on opposite sides, but still every bit the lethal team-up. I don't get the emotional side of it though – they inspire no such feeling in me, and I do believe Chuuya could definitely do better XD

Kunizai (Kunikida/Dazai) - This one I actually like quite a lot. I don't necessarily ship them in canon, but I believe they're good for each other. Kunikida with his rigidness and morals and Dazai with his carelessness and disaster that seems to follow him. I also like how Kunikida has a book where he jots down the best way to live, and Dazai has a book he carries around on how to die. I believe they're very different, but the sincere trust and care they have for each other, as well as the easiness of their partnership is something they both rely on and need. 10/10 ship.

Dazatsu (Dazai/Atsushi) - The age gap here is the biggest problem for people from what I've seen, but I don't think this is a proship or a bad ship that should be discouraged. Again, I don't ship it, but I feel it's perfectly fine if you do? "Oh, there's a power imbalance-" bitch, what power imbalance?? Like, you do know they're coworkers, right? Yes, Dazai saved him and Atsushi is grateful, but Atsushi is not stupid or blindly devoted or whatever. What he is, is mentally ill, but then again, so is Dazai, and if you think Dazai would take advantage of him, then that says more about Dazai as a character than it does the ship itself. Atsushi could definitely do better, and to me, that better is Akutagawa XD

Morizai (Mori/Dazai) - Well, I don't think I have any thoughts on this, other than the obvious ones. Dazai was a child in the Mafia, and they do seem to have a more guardian/ward relationship, fucked up as it is. Mori was definitely at least mentally and emotionally abusive to Dazai, from what we've seen. I don't think anyone would actually ship this? Unless you're talking purely fanfic scenarios. In this case, Dazai could do better. So yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and "nope" this.

Odazai (Oda/Dazai) - Now listen. Again, I don't ship this (I don't know if I ship anything that has Dazai, I hate the man), but if you think Oda and Dazai had a father/son relationship, you're delusional. Dazai cared so much for Oda, and upon reading Beast, I refuse to believe there was no universe where Dazai developed feelings for him. I think of them every time I listen to any Adele songs. "Them" being their Beast version. I'm so serious. This is a valid ship far as I'm concerned.

Dazaku (Dazai/Akutagawa) - This one is a ship that I get so riled up about. Because of the fandom. I honestly never gave this ship a second thought until I saw how hated it was. Then, I realized it's hated for all the wrong goddamn reasons. I don't ship it, because I hate Dazai on principle, but sometimes, I feel like I'm shipping it out of spite. It's like people can't make up their minds about the dynamic of these two. When you want to say Dazai abused Akutagawa, they'll be like "Oh, Dazai was a child, too!" Then you say they both grew and are healing – and maybe Dazai cared after all? – and it's all "You can't ship him with his abuser!" Well, which is it now? Is Dazai a bad guy still? Is it so wrong to want Dazai to care? To imagine Dazai pulling Akutagawa into the light with him? When people vehemently hate on this ship, I take that to mean "Yeah, Dazai is the worst, how could you ship Akutagawa with him?" Which, great take, I'm all for that. This ship is overhated in my opinion. Both Dazai and Akutagawa are two important pillars of what makes Bsd what it is. Their relationship is complicated and messy and important – so yeah, I'm not surprised people would ship this. Sometimes, toxic yaoi is where it's at, and you just wanna fix them. Akutagawa can DEFINITELY do better.

Souheki (Dazai/Ranpo) - I think they're besties. Absolutely nothing romantic here for me. I cannot see it, but I love them both, so I'd read fics at least. They're both geniuses who hold deep respect for each other. They may be able to understand each other much quicker and on a deeper level than other people, but I think they'd be a disaster if they were to date. Absolutely not. Plus, I'm a huge Ranpoe fan, so I'm biased.

Fyozai (Fyodor/Dazai) - They have a lot of tension, I'll give them that. They're two pretty, genius bitches playing 3 dimensional chess while everyone else plays checkers. Plus, being on opposite sides?? I can appreciate some enemies to lovers when I see it. I think if I were Fyodor, I'd definitely be interested in this young man who can match my intellect even as I've been alive since Jesus Christ was born. Also, don't ask me why, but they feel so gay when they're together – just, not for each other? I think in a no powers au, they'd definitely experiment together lmao. So, valid ship in-universe? I'm going to allow it. They could both do better.

Sigzai (Sigma/Dazai) - I don't know how this ship got popular?? I mean, sure?? Great ship?? Genuinely don't know what to say. I mean, they're there and they're both pretty?? I guess? Honestly, Sigma reminded me of Akutagawa, it was kinda funny to see. But go off XD??

I think that was it, lemme know if I forgot any major ships!

[fangdokja]

Hey, this just me getting mind blocked right now. Haha. But, i just wanted to thank all the supporters, engagement, and followers thus far. You know who you are.

Actually, I’ve been wanting to practice sex scenes for a while now. I do have upcoming posts. Last part of Skin of the Saint is one with explicit sex will be posted TODAY. But I wouldn’t classify it as smut.

I don’t know. I don’t get turned on or aroused in literally anything besides my husband. So. Writing actual smut is a challenge. Actually, in writing and reading, if it’s not about my husband or God, I get very clinical in general. Hard to feel emotions of anything at all really.

My Christmas and New Years gifts for you guys also have sex stuff in it. Honestly don’t know if it’s good or not.

It’s really my first time releasing actual sex content in public. So yeah.

But anyways, I’m rambling because I know Tumblr loves sex. And porn to an extension. That’s an understatement. Tumblr loves it.

But my husband and God are really strict about me not allowing me to get into erotica.

So.

But I can write dark romance. Definitely. It’s what I’ve been doing.

So, I guess, I’m trying to think on stuff about how to incorporate smut practice (complete with both emotions + atmosphere + descriptions and more).

Without making it straight up erotica (dark romance can still have explicit sex scenes). So I thought of some upcoming fics:

Yandere! Serial Killers x Detective (?) Reader (novella)

Yandere! Fans x Playgirl (novelette)

When I looked up ideas for smut, I honestly never vibed nor liked the top stories that came up. Just felt unrealistic and shallow. And I am NOT allowed to write porn. So…

Yeah. It’s why I have to incorporate hardcore psychological content. And a common theme in all my works.

One of my main issues right now is that I can’t fricking think of how to write short form content. If you noticed I have a lot of slow burn sex.

It doesn’t feel right for fast burn sex, you know? But I think it’s just me, unlike my husband, I have like zero to low libido in general. I can honestly go without anything sexual.

ANYWAYS. I’m not sure on how to make short form content on sex. I don’t want it to just be porn or non sensical shallow smut. It’s not just about kinks like dumbification. Not only is it boring for me to write something without actual tension, but it doesn’t feel REAL.

“If I Can’t Have You” by Deathsdoll did really well in descriptions and suspenseful tension in Chapters 1 to 12. I didn’t like the rest, fell off for me. But the start is golden. Really good.

Not only is it non con but it has intense sex, but more than that, the “actual sexual and violence or death tension” is there.

So I’m trying to think on how to combine sex + psychological into short form stories. Most stories seen are just shallow sex or kinks or whatever. I won’t deny that they’re good at descriptions to a certain degree.

But, not my thing. To me, it’s just fantasies as usual. I like my work grounded on some realism or at least dystopian dark setting and themes.

For my writing style, I never write “Oh, they banged hallelujah.” Actually anything I write won’t feel right without the psychological aspect into it.

Most people are fine with turning off the brain and fantasizing or masturbating (have never done both), but me writing and even reading it? No.

To me, without the danger factor or some uncomfortable unsettling factor. Sex is just reproduction. Or biological processes. That’s honestly how I see it.

Anyways.

Sorry, I’m rambling. Before my husband, I was never interested in romance, much less sex actually lol.

Anyways. Again.

My issue is SHORT FORM SEXUAL CONTENT. Ahhhh. Without the burn, it doesn’t feel right. It feels wrong. I’m okay with fast burn romance but not fast burn sex. I can read about it.

Doesn’t mean I like it.

I am mind blocked in this aspect.

And honestly my husband is right. Again. I’m severely overthinking again. I should just talk to God and him, aahh.

Ok enough rambling….. back to upcoming books….

I guess you could say, this post is a thank you to all the supporters so far, and also my writing process. And future plans.

I haven’t posted anything explicitly sexual yet because I want to debut my first sex content for my gifts to you guys.

Both stories may stay dark romance or can even become erotic horror (a genre I’m also allowed to write) or become just inherently psychosexual as well. Not sure yet.

But the Forbidden Fruits is meant to combine taboo and psychological.

And yes. Both are reverse harem stories.

Or maybe you guys just want the short form content i’m brainstorming and trying to figure out.

Either way, your opinions and thoughts are welcomed.

[ozzgin]

Dear Ozzgin,

Is your new addition to the repertoire, the yandere android, a Mixture of Experts like GPT-4.5, or something else entirely? Would his performance / 'humanness' degrade if he were talking to another machine (an inhuman one, not designed to be Spacer-ly human) for a long time?

Any random lorebits on Spacers you did not include but would have had you felt less constrained?

Hah, okay, I see you've gotten into the technical aspects. I'm about to go on a ramble so I'll do a cut here for everyone else to not clog your feeds. Feel free to read if you're into this kind of stuff. :D

First, I just wanted to point this out because I've read your hashtags and comment: the CCD sensors were a bit of an asspull because it's one thing I'm more knowledgeable about, but I don't feel like it'd be a realistic choice, if I am to be nitpicky. They're expensive to produce and are mostly used for really high performance work (telescopes), but a humanoid robot wouldn't need such advanced digital imaging for daily life use. So, you know, it's arguable whether or not there are better alternatives when it comes to a mass-produced agent processing the immediate environment.

Now to your actual question: I've used the machine learning approach because this is currently our most advanced way of developing AI, but it would not be enough to explain the Android's perfect understanding of human speech. ChatGPT analyzes sentences and their meaning purely based on grammar and associations, but there's many examples of it struggling against anything more intricate than literal context. So yeah, that kind of sarcastic dialogue and implied meaning is wishful thinking of times far away sadly. I'm only wildly guessing he wouldn't struggle with today's impediments. There's a black box somewhere in there that fills the gaps and variables we don't have.

If at some point you find yourself with time to spare, I'd recommend reading the book directly. It's very interesting to see how people viewed the "future" back then, and you will detect a lot of optimism regarding computers - such as Daneel (the original Android) being a flawless human. Funnily enough, the book was published shortly before the Dartmouth Conference, so Asimov was this close to discover that language recognition is, in fact, a terribly tangled business and not as simple as they had originally expected.

I think I covered the basics when it comes to Spacers, but then again I cannot tell how easy it is to follow for someone that isn't familiar with the original work. I also didn't want to reproduce every fact, mot a mot, from Caves of Steel, especially since this is less about politics and more about romance. I'd suspect the people reading the story are not too bothered by the only briefly mentioned murder. Cause is less important when the effect is a tall robot boy with a crush on you 👀 if you feel me.

Anyways, I'm very glad you like the story, every now and then I'll insert little facts and technical details - as it usually is when you study Physics and CS but have no friends in the field - so it's definitely nice to have someone recognize the stuff! :)

[skitskatdacat63]

Prince Jenson of Somerset

+ process & lore

Yayyyyy omg finally have drawn portraits of the four main characters!!!! I'll show the process of Jenson's first and then them all four together. Though it's a shame the Seb/Fernando ones are older, I think it's hopefully obvious how much I've improved since November?

Look at him in all his handsome, princely glory 🥹 It's funny, I'm always happy with the second sketch and initial lineart, and then I start coloring it and I absolutely hate it, and it takes a significant amount of time into the painting for me to like it again. And then I reach a certain point and I'm in love with it again. Ugh though I gotta say, I love drawing the curls, it's just so 18th century, but at the same point, man I always will love my original lineart for the hair the best ah. Also yes I absolutely had to give him a big ass hat with feathers, he really is that kinda guy to me. I originally drew a bicorne and then realized that those don't really exist until basically almost a century later oops, so tricorne it is!!

Okay now omg look at them all together 🥹

Haha wow I have improved a lot! Just like the Seb/Fernando ones, Mark and Jense's were meant to be put together. I think there's a lot of inherent characterization in their poses that highlight the difference between them. Mark is looking up, very wistful, looking up to greater people, greater things. Jenson's head is tilted down, almost looking at the viewer, he is very satisfied with his role and revels in it, he's here to slay!

Okay, yes, lore, characterization, sorry that it is so far down on the post!!

Jense would probably be the fan favorite if this AU was an actual book or show or something. He's the guy you randomly find while browsing Wikipedia and you're like, woah this guy is so cool??? Unlike Sebmarknando, he doesn't really have the same level of angst, he's kinda just chilling. He's a bit harder to write a lore post about, because he's basically that character who is always magically around the corner, ready to witness some crazy thing and just breeze past it.

He is less linked to Seb than people like Mark and Fernando, because he's basically just his personal minister of transportation(read: horse fucker), so he avoids a lot of the relationship complications and drama, but that isn't to say he's completely uninvolved. He really likes Seb, and loves to hang around with him and serve him, but he's not as beholden to him. He's who everyone goes to air their grievances or to get away from the others, and he's very happy with this role. He's generally willing to play any side in an argument, but does tend to have a pretty big soft spot for Seb overall(Seb also gives him cuteness aggression, and he wants to bite him. Especially when Seb puffs himself up and acts super bratty when he gets offended at not being seen as a proper ruler.)

He's royalty from other kingdom, but pledged his loyalty to Seb's kingdom when he was quite young and has served him(his father first) ever since. He started off somewhat low in the military, rose to a pretty high rank, was a renowed war hero, and then ended up retiring pretty early to tend to Seb's horses. That's an oversimplification, but yeah. He liked the military life, was very good at it, but decided he had done enough, and wanted to be involved in more direct service, albeit more laid back. As I mentioned in Mark's post, Mark *really* doesn't understand his choice to do this, because if Mark had been in Jense's position, he can't ever imagine being able to let all that go and living the quiet life.

He is the palace whore, everyone has been with him honestly. It'll be like, some man walks into his bedroom, only to see Jenson in bed with his wife, but instead of being angry, he's like "wow you couldn't even wait for me??" He's just very carefree, and happy to just slut around and tend to Seb's horses.

I think he definitely still advises Seb, and would go to battle if truly need be, but generally seems to be living in a different world than the weird psychosexual homoerotic political drama that the others seem to be living in. But as I said, it's not like he doesn't contribute to it! He loves to goad Fernando, and constantly plays devil's advocate in "debates" between Fernando and Seb. He's also obviously the one that keep "accidentally" locking them in rooms and forgetting where the key is.

Sorry if this isn't very explanatory, I hope it gives a general idea to the type of character he is???? As always, let me know if you have any questions! I kinda struggled on what to write here because I'm finishing this at almost 8 am 😭 so I'm not sure if it's great or not. But basically you need to know: horse fucker who is generally breezy and carefree but also can be a bit of a menace to society every once in a while.

[thorfemmes]

Now in Technicolor

part i: "Color! What a deep and mysterious language, the language of dreams"

a/n: I've been thinking about the "seeing in black and white until you meet your soulmate" trope for a while now. I wanted to see if it would work with with two soulmates, giving us this steddie x reader au :). I hope you enjoy, and as always feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated!<333

a/n 2: I'm sobbing because I've uploaded this THREE TIMES NOW and tumblr keeps glitching and fucking up my formatting. Let's see if this one works.

P.S. I did a stupid amount of research on tour dates, locations, and weather in 1990 LMAO please enjoy.

read part ii here

Rated 18+: fem!reader x steddie, eventual smut, an unfortunate usage of Y/N, gross humid Midwestern weather

Word Count: 2,113 words

May 24, 1990 was a grossly humid day. Illinois weather was always a bit spotty, but today especially was unforgiving. Y/N was in line outside of the Rosemont Horizon, waiting in line to see Madonna's Blond Ambition Tour. She had gotten there early, wanting to grab a good spot seeing as her ticket was for the standing room only section, but now that she was standing outside, alone, in the sun, she wished she would have prepared better. She maybe would've brought a book, definitely would have brought some water bottles. But alas, she was sandwiched between other hopeful concert-goers that were suffering the same fate as her.

She tried to subtly dab at the sweat accumulating around her hairline, accidentally making eye contact with the girl in front of her.

The girl raised her eyebrows at her. "Little bit warm today, huh?"

Y/N nodded and smiled, "Just a little bit yeah".

"Do you have any water or anything?" The girl asked.

She shook her head no.

"My girlfriend and I have a few extras if you'd like one?" The light haired girl started. "It's unopened, in case you were worried we did something to it. Not that you should be worried! I just know that some people would be worried -".

"Robin, it's okay," Robin's friend spoke up as she smiled sheepishly.

"It's okay, I appreciate the offer". Y/N took the bottle graciously and all but chugged it down. "I wasn't worried by the way. Not unless you're trying to weed out the competition for a good spot in the pit".

Robin and her partner laughed. "I'm Nancy, this is Robin, nice to meet you". The dark haired girl gestured between herself and Robin.

"I'm Y/N!"

The three of them got to talking, learning that Robin and Nancy had driven up from Hawkins, Indiana. The two were surprised to learn that she was in the process of moving to Hawkins.

"What made you want to move?" Nancy asked.

"I have a lot of family in the surrounding towns, and I'm planning on attending school out there. Hawkins lets me have a bit of independence while still being close to family".

The two girls nodded. "Do you have anyone moving with you?"

"No, unfortunately," She let out a small laugh. "No soulmate or anything yet". The two girls looked at her almost solemnly. "I'm assuming you two have met your soulmates already?"

The two grinned and linked hands. "Yeah," Robin spoke up. "We've been together for a few years now". Nancy cuddled up next to Robin and laid her head on Robin's shoulder.

"Well you're both adorable together".

"Thank you!" The two spoke in unison.

She turned slightly to take another gulp of water. It wasn't that her heart ached for a soulmate, it was that she had lost hope of meeting hers. Long ago had she accepted that black and gray scales would be her permanent point of view. High school, even middle school was filled with her peers' world blooming in color while she continued to see the dull shades around her.

They continued to make small talk until the line started moving.

"Hey in case we get separated, here's my phone number," Robin whipped out a sharpie and grabbed the girl's hand. "Call us when you get settled". And with that they parted ways, the couple heading towards the merch booth as she headed towards the barricade. When she got back to the hotel she quickly reached for the room's notepad and pen and scribbled the now smeared phone number.

Weeks had passed since the concert. Y/N had officially made the move to Hawkins. The few things she owned were shoved into a rented pickup truck and moved from her shared apartment in Chicago to a one bedroom all to herself.

The apartment was cozy; filled with fuzzy blankets and candles and warm art work. She hoped the colors at least complimented each other, but truly she was just thrilled to finally have her own space to decorate and make hers.

Her days were filled with exploring and familiarizing herself with the town. She visited every corner of Hawkins; wandering grocery stores, noting where the different shops were, even seeking out the record shop and video store for her future leisure.

It wasn't until her classes started that she started to feel the loneliness creep in. She glanced at her phone book every once in a while, debating on whether she should reach out to the girls from the concert. Surely it wouldn't be weird, right? Robin had given Y/N her number for a reason. Then on the first Saturday of July, when she was two glasses of wine deep, she used her liquid courage to reach out to Robin.

Double checking that it wasn't terribly late, she quickly pushed Robin's number into the phone and nervously squished the receiver against her ear. She picked up after the first ring.

"Hello?" Robin's raspy voice shouted over loud background music.

"Hey, Robin? It's Y/N from the Madonna concert". She winced, it had been so long ago, what if she didn't remember her?

"Y/N! Hey!" Robin must've covered the phone with her hand because she could hear a faint Would you guys turn the music down?

"Sorry, my friends are animals. How are you, are you in Hawkins?"

"Yeah, I'm finally settled. I was hoping that maybe you and Nancy would want to hang out sometime soon? I haven't really gone out with anyone since I moved".

"Yeah, that would be awesome! Are you free tomorrow morning? Some of my friends and I were planning on getting breakfast if you'd like to join us".

"I'd love to, you're sure I'm not intruding?"

"No intrusion at all! I'm sure everyone would love to meet you," Her voice called out a little bit louder. Voices in the background rang out in agreement.

Y/N giggled and set her plans in stone.

When the morning came, her stomach was in knots. Her nerves were slowly getting the better of her. Arriving at the restaurant 30 minutes early, she sat in her car and tried to hype herself up. You've got this, she thought. Robin and Nancy were friendly enough at the concert. This is you getting out of your comfort zone. And if you hate it, you can always leave!

Y/N watched as the restaurant slowly filled up. When she saw Robin and Nancy walk up hand in hand following a young man with long dark hair into the restaurant, she counted to thirty and took a deep breath before getting out of her car and making her way inside.

She met the girls by the host's stand, the man nowhere to be found. The girls greeted her with smiles and small side hugs.

"Hey! How are you doing?" Nancy said.

"I'm doing well! How have you guys been?"

"We've been okay! We're just waiting for a table to clear up. Steve couldn't make it this morning, but Eddie is here so you'll meet a part of the group! He's just in the bathroom, I think".

Y/N nodded and quickly fell into conversation with the two girls. The three were talking about the upcoming Fleetwood Mac tour when Nancy looked past Y/N's head.

"Eddie! Nice of you to finally join us," She smirked.

Eddie grinned at Nancy, letting her shove him with her shoulder. "Had to sneak out for a quick smoke. What did I miss?"

Y/N looked at the young man, his long curly hair framing the soft features of his face. His large button eyes were so expressive and full of mischief. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it felt like she knew him, he felt warm (which was crazy because she didn't know this boy from Adam). She was pulled from her staring by Robin's voice.

"So Eddie, this is Y/N. Y/N, Eddie".

Y/N snapped her eyes up and held out her hand, Eddie doing the same. When the two met eyes, Y/N took in a deep breath. The warmth she felt shot through their hands, sending small vibrations through her body. She held that breath as she looked at him, wisps of color blotting throughout her vision. Relief and joy and confusion flooded her system. She had met her soulmate! But why wasn't her vision completely flooding with color? Was he experiencing the same thing?

"Guys?" Robin's voice ripped them from their trance.

Eddie cleared his throat, "Sorry, um, nice to meet you".

She nodded in agreement, retracting her hand and looking at the ground. The tiles on the ground now boasted what could only be described as auras of color. Her vision still looked dull, but blobs of color distorted her normal palette of dark shades.

The four of them were then led to a round booth, Nancy and Robin scooting into the middle with Eddie and Y/N on each of their respective ends. They quickly fell into a comfortable conversation, Y/N looking and picking at her nails in favor of looking back at Eddie.

"So Y/N," Eddie's voice pulled her attention. "Nancy and Robin were telling us that you all met at the Madonna show".

"Yeah, um. It was ridiculously hot and Robin saved the day with a water bottle she swore wasn't poisoned".

Eddie laughed and leaned forward a little. "You've gotta be careful out there, you never know what Robin is trying to roofie you with".

"Oh fuck off, Munson," Robin laughed, throwing her straw wrapper at him.

The four of them stood outside of the diner and gathered around Y/N's car.

"This was so fun, we should do this again soon!" Nancy said.

Everyone smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Hopefully next time our resident dingus can join us," Robin added.

Eddie rolled his eyes at the name calling. He quickly took his keys out of his pockets. "Here ladies, go and start the a/c, I'll be right behind you".

Robin snatched the keys from him, quickly giving Y/N a hug and dragging Nancy away.

Eddie shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his dirty Reeboks. He cleared his throat before starting: "Um, so -".

"Did you feel it too?" She cut in. "I'm really confused right now, and I just need to make sure I'm not hallucinating or something".

"No sweetheart, you're not hallucinating".

She couldn't tell if her face was warm due to the humid weather or Eddie's pet name.

"Can I ask why you're confused?"

"I... The colors didn't blossom like they were supposed to, I think. They didn't fully come through like I thought they were meant to. I'm only seeing little bits and pieces of color in between normal grays and whites".

Eddie nodded, recognition flooding his face. "I had the same thing happen when I met my partner, Steve".

"Steve, like dingus Steve?"

"Yeah, like dingus Steve," Eddie laughed. "Both of us actually experienced that. We were both really confused, but with a little research we learned that in rare occasions, some people can have multiple soulmates".

Her eyes widened. It makes sense in theory, but it was all overwhelming. Just yesterday she was sure she'd never run into her soulmate and now there's a possibility that she has more than one?

"When we made eye contact, color flooded the rest of my vision. All the black and white disappeared. I have never felt more comfortable meeting someone, not since I met Steve. I don't know what this means for any of us, but I know that you must be my missing soulmate".

She slowly took a step back, Eddie following with a step forward and his hands up, as if approaching a wounded animal.

"I just, please take some time. It's a lot to process. If you have any questions or want to talk, here's my number," He pulled out his breakfast receipt with his number scratched on it. "Steve and I have a lot to talk about too".

She nodded, looking down at the piece of paper in his hand. She plucked it with a shaking hand.

"Just give me a couple days to think everything over. I promise I'll call soon, I just need some time," She turned to unlock her car door.

Eddie nodded and opened the door for her. "Drive safely, and give me a call, yeah?"

She nodded and carefully pulled out of the parking lot. Eddie crossed his hands and cradled the back of his head as he watched her drive away.

Fuck, this changes everything.

Taglist/people who showed interest in this fic: @munsonology @alexxavicry @marvelous-musicals

[erithel]

Piggybacking off of your response to the previous ask, man can I just say what an utter clusterfuck the whole "gone" situation was follower-wise... i'm gonna make this about me so sorry about that, however i'm the kind of person that can't really articulate their thoughts, can't see through the layers as clearly as others and when people post a thoughtful analysis that reflects my feelings about the fic while the best thing I can come up with is something like "wow, fic good❤️" (which yeah I know is still fine but anyway) it makes me feel so much better because what is trapped in my head is articulated as I wanted to express it... that being said, seeing you explore ptsd and lance's grief like this stirred smth in me, I cried at times, so I was very excited to see people in your asks sharing their thoughts and all... And then they didn't seem to care so much about it (not all of them obvs) and at first it was like "hahah yeah.. we all want them to kiss xd lol" but then seeing you post about how people would essentially flood your asks for klance to KISS ALREADY™ plus with other general stuff... Idk if it was frustrating for me I can't even begin to imagine how it was for you, because this is like.. still a story, just in comic form, so yes it has an arc it need to complete. We could see the episode count from the beginning too if I remember correctly, so being so insistent about it was weird? Either way, it was a story and it was getting somewhere and spamming about when your ship will be canon is kind of annoying. So sorry this happened to you and so happy you pushed through! I binge it on the regular!

I feel like I could do a Ted Talk on the etiquette of commenting at this point, through my own experience, and also reading comments my friends have received on their work.

But essentially what it boils down to is two things:

Creators put a lot of work into their stories, and

They choose to write stories their way

The way that I write fan content (both fics and comics) is because these stories and these subjects are important to me. Some of them are very personal, too. And I know I am not the only creator who chooses to write this way.

Obviously the way I reacted to the "just kiss already" comments may have seemed like an overreaction from the outside (I thank you for being understanding in your ask btw).

But the message those constant comments were sending was a very clear one of:

All the thought/time/work you put into this story does not matter

Everyone who ever told you to "just get over it" was right

Grief can be a very physical and powerful thing.

Losing someone you love leaves you with this excess of love and affection that now has no where to go. You used to have a place to direct it, and when that place is suddenly gone, it takes a while to learn how to function again; to redistribute that love.

It's something that never goes away, it just gets manageable. And it's definitely not something you can "just get over."

I'm not saying I'm the greatest storyteller of all time, but I was tired of reading books and watching movies and shows where the characters never felt the aftermath of a loss. They all just moved onto the next episode or the next chapter like nothing ever happened.

And I do think it's important to tell stories like this in fanfiction. Because many readers are younger. Many readers rely on reading fanfiction because it's free. Many readers need hope and catharsis. And getting to read about their favorite characters go through terrible things but realistically come out on the other side is, to me, very important. Because the stories we read - no matter if they are free or published works - can stick with us for the rest of our lives.

This is why it was such a big deal for me. Because I was trying to tell a story that said "Please take your time to get over things. Please know that it's okay if you don't immediately snap back to the way things were. Please know that it's okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling." And getting comment after comment that said the exact opposite was honestly just crushing.

I would take a "wow, fic good" comment any day. Because it acknowledges what has been done, instead of demands things to speed up to suit someone else's needs.

And, on a slightly more petty note... it was a klance fan comic. It's not like they weren't going to kiss. They just weren't going to do it in the middle of an argument where it wouldn't have stuck!

(I do also think it's funny that there's a perfect comic example of a kiss happening too early, before communication which happened right around the same time as Gone. And for the record, she's gotten way more and way worse comments than I did, so that's something worth mentioning, too.)

The point is that some stories are very personal to the author and very important to certain members of the audience. Of course no single story will be for everyone, but just because it is not going a certain way does not mean it's okay to demand it be changed.

[pjo-tvs-version]

I've seen a lot of hate for the previews of wottg with people saying that rick has just written this book for money, and the characters aren't accurate.

That he's just gone on a crazy tangent and isn't doing anymore fan service.

Especially hate towards annabeth for wanting to throw a party and to grover.

What's your take?

Love this ask soo much!! Thank you anon because now I have a reason to rant on the thoughts in my head and I promise you I didn't think I would write this much...

Percy's mental condition as shown in the first chapter is pretty well displayed in my opinion. My boy is fed up, requires therapy, a break and blue food but he has to face WEEKEND CLASSES (I have them and I can tell you that they are the absolutely worst way to torture your sanity). I'll give Rick points for this though. The entire episode with Hecate was also written well and IT DID NOT FEEL LIKE FANSERVICE TO ME ATLEAST. Percy feels like himself at least from the preview I can say.

HOWEVER I have my own set of issues too. Now I will tell you that I am a kind of person who refrains from the negatives of any situation before seeing the whole story BUT sometimes I have opinions which I will express now. To start off, I do not like they way Rick just made Grover and his hooves not appear because of the mist concept. This was actually a deal in tlt and have it just discarded away in one line in the book put me off a little. I love continuity in books and small errors are like pricking needles for me.

Now we come to the most controversial moment of them all: CHAPTER 3!!! See I love Annabeth having friends (happier because it fulfills my Annabeth being a social butterfly head canon). I love Hana loathing Percy (she definitely has a crush on Annabeth, fight me). But I have an issue with the way Percy sees himself when he is in the midst of her friends. He makes himself inferior and an idiot when he absolutely isn't and I have an issue with that because it isn't good!

Annabeth proposing to have a party is slightly out of character in MY OPINION but okay I can accept it and see how Rick wants to proceed with this so neutral on that till now. HOWEVER I hope he makes Annabeth and Percy have a fight on this because Percy has to let out his problems and their relationship needs to have some angst from time to time (also in my opinion).

Overall, I am extremely excited and hoping to read the book as soon as it arrives (curse you Amazon). I believe that you can't hate the book on the basis of the preview but there are few... unsettling things which can be set right if handled well later in the book. I do think sometimes Rick does not effectively utilise the potential but I'll read the book nevertheless. It's the very reason I look forward to live through my exams. So yeah I have no strong opinions and would most probably drop in a detailed analysis after I actually read the book.

Thanks again for the ask anon! Loved answering it

[felixsramen]

Y/n coming out of their room after a few hours and just cuddled up to skz on the couch is so canon since y/n is an introverted person and sometimes cant handle being with people but they feels bad for her bfs so they just come up with a book and cuddle up to them and read

Or y/n being already up since 5am becuase of trouble sleeping with a book in their hand and a coffee or tea sitting on the balcony and chan just coming up to them and sleep on y/n because he cant sleep comfortably in his bed rn

TELL ME THAT THIS IS TO 100% TRUE

It definitely is it's so canon that yn loves reading with Skz

You had been locked in your room for hours on end. You just needed a mental recharge from people. It took everything in you to even go out and do simple things of going out into public and getting groceries or even going to work because of dealing with people.

You weren't good at dealing with people at all and your boyfriends knew it better than anyone else. They knew that you weren't avoiding them. They knew that you just needed some me time. They knew that you weren't good at public interactions and couldn't use that against you instead letting you take your time.

You had been in your room for a couple hours now. Not ready to face your boyfriends or any conversations but you had begun to feel guilty. Guilty for not spending time with them when they rarely home in the first place.

Hyunjin had invited you in the living room to watch a movie with them which you denied but he had told you it was okay, to take your time and that'd they be out there if you needed them. Well currently you needed them. You needed to at least feel the warmth of your 8 boyfriends even if you weren't ready to talk just yet.

You grabbed the book you were currently reading and opened the door. You made your way down the dark hallway and to the living room. It was Jisung who had first noticed you smiling at you.

"Hi beautiful." Jisung says and that has the boys attention on you. You nod had your 8 boyfriends focused on you.

"Hi." You say back still not sure if they'd want you to come sit with them after you had denied the movie they were watching.

"Come to watch the movie with us?" Hyunjin says and you shake your head.

"That's okay." Hyunjin says as his eyes look at your hand that had the book in it now.

"Want to come read your book near us?" Minho asks and you nod.

"Come on then." Changbin says opening his arms for you. You walk your way in-between Felix and Jisung who sit on the ground and into Changbins arms.

"How are you feeling love?" Felix asks you as he looks at you as you adjust yourself on Changbins lap.

"I'm okay Lixie." You tell him and he smiles nodding at you.

He lays his head against Jisungs shoulder and you open your book.

"Here sweetheart." Chan says lifting your legs up across his laps. You can't help but smile as he smiles back showing off his dimples.

The movie seems to be long forgotten as they look at you. "Is the book good?" Seungmin asks you.

"Yeah. I really like it." You tell him as he lets you lay your head in his lap.

"You want me to get you some more books like that?" Minho asks you.

"If it's not too much trouble I'd like that a lot." You tell him and he smiles at you.

"It's never a problem." Minho tells you.

"I have some recommendations if you would want to read them." Seungmin says and you nod looking at him smiling.

"Okay I'll buy you them and then let me know if you like them." Seungmin says and that's when Jisung speaks up.

"I've never seen you read Minnie." Jisung says and that has Seungmin rolling his eyes with a smile and you can't help but laugh.

"Maybe because you don't pay attention enough." Seungmin says looking at his Quokka like boyfriend.

Jisung pouts. "Don't take it to heart love I'm just joking. It's because I'd rather read by myself." Seungmin says shrugging and that stops Jisung from pouting.

"So I could've had 2 adorable people laying on me and reading and I'm just finding this out." Changbin says pouting now. You and the boys can't help but laugh at the cute pout that sits on his face.

Seungmin shrugs smiling. "I can't believe I'm just finding this out now too. I've been with you guys for how long and I'm learning that Kim Seungmin, the guy who refuses to eat sweets after he brushes his teeth because he doesn't want to do it again, reads." I.N. says earning a slight blush from Seungmin.

"You didn't have to tell everyone." Seungmin mutters and I.N. just smiles.

"It's not like we didn't know." Chan says back smiling to him.

Seungmin mutters something else under his breath about Chan being more than halfway to 50 earning him a pinch and laugh from Chan.

"Stop being mean to the old man." Hyunjin says getting hit by Felix with a laugh.

You can't help but laugh at the jokes that's being targeted to Chan. "Why are you guys laughing? You guys are the ones in a relationship with me." Chan says laughing along.

"Good point." Jisung says leaning on Chans shoulder laughing.

"We're just joking love." Hyunjin says from beside Felix on the ground and reaching up kissing Chan.

"Y/N didn't come in here to hear us make fun of Chan. She came in here to read so lets just calm down so she can do that." Minho says smiling at you.

You smile at him too. You open your book as the boys eyes don't leave you as you start reading the book. The movie was now long forgotten and it was you who had their attention.

[simplydannie]

Fanfic on how Veneer Got his pet goldfish, and when the fish died??

:D❤️

Hi pookie! You got it! So Veneer had always wanted a pet. Since a kid he was fascinated by animals. In this particular story, he lives in Mount Rageous. Now if you come to think of it, it’s a very superficial and synthetic culture. Not a lot of nature going on. You’re lucky enough to have some sort of pet. Veneer has always wanted one, but has kind of an issue to where having one is hard:

Sparkles

“So having a dog or cat is not an option?” Vivian asked, the twins mother.

“Unfortunately, not. He has enough breathing problems already. The fur of the animal will only aggravate him more.”

She turned to her son. Veneer was sitting on the hospital bed playing tic-tac-toe with Velvet, a tube connected to his nose. He had another breathing attack. It was his sister that found him…lying on his bedroom floor, nearly blue. The doctor said if she was a minute too late, it would have been fatal.

“He….he gets lonely. Veneer can’t do much with the other kids at school. No one is patient enough to just sit with him, except his sister. He…” His mother began to break down in tears, “Doctor he doesn’t have any friends. As mother that just…that just hurts that he is over looked just because of his condition. While his sister can go to school some days, he stays home, he’s not invited to any parties, no one comes to his. What do I do?” She sobbed.

The doctor placed a hand on Vivians shoulder. She sighed and wrote on a piece of paper handing it to the twins mother, “They may not be a cat or a dog, but these types of pets should suffice for your son.” She smiled tenderly.

“Thank you.” She whispered to the doctor. Vivian composed herself before turning to her twins, “Alright guys! Time to go home.”

Veneer had to spend the next two days home from school…That Friday evening, Velvet had gotten an invitation to a birthday party from one of the girls in their class.

“Did she send one for me too?” Veneer asked sitting up on his bed, the tube still connected to his nose and hand, pushing fluids through his body.

“…No…No she didn’t. I asked her but…” Velvet looked away.

“But what?” He asked.

“She said you weren’t invited because she didn’t want you getting people sick.”

“Oh….” A moment of silence passed between the twins. Velvet looked at her brother, she saw the tears forming in his eyes. He tried fighting it, but he failed, one by one they fell down his cheek and on to his covers.

“Forget her. I’m not going to her stupid party anyway. She likes unicorns.” Velvet made a disgusted face.

“Vels…You like unicorns too.” He gave her a serious look.

“Yeah, but I like the cool unicorns.”

“There are no cool unicorns! Now dragons are cool!” Veneer exclaimed, a smile coming across his face. That’s what Velvet wanted to see. Did she want to go to the party? Yes, but not when it would hurt her brothers feelings. He NEVER got invited anywhere…and she hated it…..More silence.

“Vels, you need to go.” She looked at him quizzically, “You need to have friends. Don’t be alone because of me. Eventually I’ll make friends…for now I have you and mom, and dad! It’s okay Vels. Go…for me…please.” He pouted his lip and widened his eyes.

“No…no! Don’t do that!” But that made him pout his lip even more, “Ugggggh. Fine! But I’m definitely spitting into her cake before she eats it!”

That evening Veneer spent his day alone in his room. He read comic books, drew, watched TV, played video games. When his parents came up to see him, he was writing something…He was writing how he wanted a friend, it didn’t matter who or what, big or small, he just wanted a friend.

“What you writing about kiddo?” His father sat at the foot of his bed.

“Nothing!” Veneer held his journal near his chest, hiding it from the view of his father.

“Okay, okay. I get it. Big boy now has secrets.”

“I- no they’re not secrets.” Veneer looked away. His mother came in, holding something behind her back. Veneer grew curious, looking back and forth between his mother and father.

“Sweetie, now, you know why you can’t have a dog correct?” His mother asked him. Veneer nodded. “Well, the doctor said just because you can’t have a dog, doesn’t mean you can’t a little companion.” She brought forward what she was hiding behind her back. Encased in a pretty little bowl was a beautiful little goldfish…except, he wasn’t entirely gold. As he swam and hit the lights, his scales reflected red, gold, and yellow hues, shining and shimmering. He was beautiful.

“Whoa.” Veneer grasped the bowel gently in his hands, squishing his face on it. “Hi!” The small little fish took notice of Veneer and stared at him curiously, nearing him. “He’s so pretty!”

“He’s going to need a name.” His father stated. Veneer looked at the goldfish. He saw how his scales sparkled in the light…That’s it!

“Sparkles. I am going to call him Sparkles!”

“Welcome to the family Sparkles.”

Vivian saw a complete change in Veneer in the next couple of weeks. He seemed happier. He took his dedication to caring for Sparkles seriously. Veneer researched the best foods to give him to live a good life, he saved up his allowance money to buy the fish a bigger tank, toys, rocks he could hide in. His parents would walk in on him talking to the goldfish…what was beautiful, was that the fish recognized him, his voice. When Veneer was around, the tiny fish would swim out of hiding and swim around next to him. If Velvet or anyone else entered the room, Sparkles would go back into hiding.

The year went by, Veneer bought him a smaller bowel to take the fish with them to small outings or have him around during his birthday and holidays. Veneer would try to talk about his pet goldfish at school, but no one seemed to care. Lame, they would tell him.

“No he’s not! He’s really cool. He does tricks!” Veneer exclaimed.

“Fish are stupid, they can’t do tricks!” The kids would tell him.

He wanted to show them, he wanted to show them that goldfish were not stupid, that they were amazing. One day, he had planned to take Sparkles to show and tell. “We’ll show them Sparkles. They tend to over look little things like us just because we’re different.” He leaned his face close to the tank. Sparkles swam near Veneer in circles, booping his little face near Veneers. “Get ready for a show tomorrow buddy!”

The next morning Veneer woke early to get Sparkles ready in his travel bowel. He tapped the glass gently, “Sparkles. Come one out. I want to give you food before we leave.”…..Nothing. “Sparkles.” Veneer maneuvered around the tank to see if he could find the fish, but he couldn’t see him. Normally Sparkles would come out at the sound of his voice and that tapping of the glass. He kept looking and looking…

“Sparkles! There you are!” Veneer saw a tiny fin peeping out of the little rock he had gotten him. “Sparkles.” Veneer called out again…but he saw the fish wasn’t moving…he was just floating there. “Sparkles?” Again, no movement. “Mom! Dad!”

His parents came barging in fear that their son was hurt or having an episode, Velvet trailing close behind. Veneer was in tears standing by the tank.

“Something is wrong with Sparkles.” He cried. Their father moved close, he saw the small fish turned on its side..he was still, very still. “Daddy what’s wrong? Do we have to take him to the doctors?”

“No son…I…He…” He looked at his wife unsure how or what to say. Veneer glanced his at his mother.

“Mommy?”

She sighed. Walking up to her son, she knelt down to get at eye level with him, “Sweetie, I think Sparkles may have gone to heaven.”

“What?” Veneer walked over to the tank. He tapped it and called out the goldfishes name again. “But…but he was fine last night! He ate and was next to me the entire time! How..What happened? Was he sick like me?” Veneer gasped and began to cry uncontrollably, “Mommy did I give Sparkles my sickness! Mommy, Daddy is he dead because of me!” Veneer hugged the little bowel close to his chest, his forever empty little bowel.

“Oh, no, no, no! No that is not what happened.” She hugged Veneer tightly. “Sweetie, all our time here is limited, including goldfish. We don’t know how old he really was. What matters is that you made whatever time he had with you happy. You gave him a life worth remembering. That’s what you have to do now, remember the good times you had with him.”

Velvet couldn’t help but wipe some tears away. It hurt her to see her brother so distraught, especially after a stupid goldfish, but that little fish made him happier than he has ever been….

That day he didn’t go to school. He stayed home crying over Sparkles. Veneer gained enough strength to go outside and pick out a stone. He pained a small goldfish on it and wrote the name “Sparkles”. His father called in from to stay with him. He helped burry the small goldfish, placing the rock on top of the small burial sight.

“Want to go to the store tomorrow and buy another?” His father asked. Veneer shook his head. Yes, there was other goldfish, but there would never be another goldfish like Sparkles. Loosing something so small, Veneer didn’t realize it would hurt so much. After that he didn’t want another pet. This was a pain he didn’t want to feel ever again.

[ananke-xiii]

Absence, that which never stops appearing.

Okay, I’ve reached the end of my series on resurrection and my personal goal (I’ve made it, yay!): this post will be about the impossible resurrection of Mary Winchester. It'll be long. Veeeery long and my mind has done all sorts of mortal somersaults to produce... *waves at all my yapping* all this.

I think I’ve said it before but I want to say it again: apart from the fact that this is just a personal interpretation of the role of resurrection in the late seasons of SPN, it’s also an interpretation coming from my own cultural background which I’m aware differs from the one the show came from. Part of my cultural background I’m referring to is my religious background, which is Roman Catholic. This means that I probably read a character named Mary in a different way compared to how other people read her or even to how she was… conceived. Apart from that, I’m also a learner of what’s generally considered “esoteric” or “occult” which are just fancy words but they do pertain to quite a vast array of fields knowledge. Obviously I use my own imagination and way of interpreting things but that doesn’t mean there’s no knowledge/research/study behind what I say. Maybe there are things that I interpret in a controversial way (true), or maybe there are things that I fail to understand or misinterpret. It could be. My knowledge is vast and not always deep and you definitely shouldn't fully trust me. As a matter of fact, I’m learning new things every day and every day my horizon broadens and my mind changes a little accordingly. As a lover of learning and a mind in search of poetry and beauty in a hard and mostly ugly world, I know I can't possibly be always right and I’m fine with that (okay, *in a squeaky voice* I’m working on it, *clenching my fists*).

Speaking of conception, I had this post prepared precisely to be posted on Dec 8th because this date marks the holiday of the Immaculate Conception here and I felt like doing a little myth-debunking, lol. In preparation of it, I wrote this without remembering that, perhaps, the concept of Immaculate Conception doesn’t even exist in other Christian denominations, it might mean something else or, most probably, there’s something I don’t know or I fail to see. So, obviously, I started doing some research but then I stopped, not because it’s not interesting to me, on the contrary! I have spent and will spend a considerable amount of time to the study of religions.

However, the research didn’t fit what I had in mind when I started my resurrection series. My idea was to give back a little because I feel like I’ve taken so much from so many intelligent minds on here. But I do have a tendency to consider gifts as a sort of moral duty where I have to prove worthy, lol (yeah, I know, I have a lot of issues, sorry). So this is what I have to give back, at least for now! My intensions were neither pure nor necessarily good but I do hope it’s close to enough!

So why can’t Mary be resurrected?

In “Absence” Mary’s resurrection fails but we don’t know if it fails because Mary’s body is “absent” (aka totally, utterly, irredeemably destroyed) or because Jack’s not in the right mental disposition to perform magic. I say that we don’t know because, according to Rowena, the Necromantiorum, the resurrection spell from the Book of the Damned, requires the body and the correct predisposition to perform powerful magic. In the absence of one and/or two of these “ingredients” she cannot guarantee what or, better, who will come back thanks to the spell. However, Jack does somehow manage to “re-form” Mary’s body but it’s… empty. It’s a body without organs incapable of holding life. In my fantasy, though, Jack would have been able to bring Mary back but someone interfered.

The premise of this whole series of mine was precisely this: the power of resurrection is a point of contention between Chuck and Jack (of which Jack’s not aware) because who holds this power has the divine ability of world creation/transformation. And Chuck wants to be the only one to hold it to the point that he caged his own “sister”, Amara, to be the only one, to be BIG. So, in this fantasy of mine, I think that Chuck didn’t want Mary back as much as he didn’t want Cas back. He let it slide the first time because Jack only initiated the process and Cas had to “fight for his life” or he wouldn’t have ever been resurrected. Also, Cas is an angel and doesn’t have a soul. Soul resurrection, however, well, that’s something else entirely. Because souls are the energy on which the whole Heaven and Hell existence/balance is based. And if there’s no more control over who goes where after death, there’s no more need for God. So having power over souls is central to me here.

By re-contextualizing Chuck in this way he becomes a much more interesting and layered character to me. He’s not just the capricious, pervy God obsessed with Dean. He’s also a scared God who’s well aware that he has appropriated the power of creation and that this power doesn’t belong exclusively to him but can be taken away. If Castiel’s resurrection was the warning light, Mary’s impossible resurrection is the catalyst for the beginning of the end. Since her last episode has been titled “Absence” I must think about what “absence” means in this context.

[cbrownjc]

Oh! You reblogged my reblog of your reblog and added 'wonderful addition' in your tags! Thank you so much! You're one of my very iwtv and dm blogs, so I'm very excited that you thought so. You always have such great meta (and made me feel unalone in the 'Daniel was dying of AIDS when Armand turned him; I don't care what Anne says' camp.. Overdose deaths... don't go that slowly and nobody who was overdosing could be that coherent. Even the most high-functioning addict couldn't have told such cohesive story re: the twins. Not even with their minds. If you have taken that much, you are either passed out or the words coming out your mouth are incoherent *or* your delusions are literally delusional and they tend to be really on a few things. Daniel would not have able to collect his like that. He just wouldn't have been. I didn't pick any of this up when I first read it because I was about 14 and didn't anything about anything. I have since grown-up and gained life experience I wish I did not have. I hope I don't sound like I'm being flippant about this. Or that I'm oversharing. Because I'm not trying to be. As I said, I take this from my own life experience as someone watching what this kind of drug use looks like and how it usually concludes. It's also just something that *really* stood out to me when I reread the Devil's Minion chapter very recently. I sat there and said holy shit, this is AIDS, right? I mean, it doesn't specify anything except Daniel destroying his body and I'm like, okay, well long-term drug use does destroy your body, but it's not all at once like this. This is a metaphor, especially with all the sexual encounters Daniel was having especially in that specific time period. Obviously, the first thing I did was hunt down posts on tumblr to confirm my suspicions only to find that, according to Anne, it was not meant to be a metaphor for AIDS. It was drugs? So, I sat there and went nope, not really how long-term drug use go, definitely not how overdoses on hard drugs go. Anne, I do not think you have been in the presence of a serious addict while they are scary high or even around one for any length of time if you think this is how it goes. I also thought that if it was supposed to be an overdose, then 500ish years-old or not, it should have still affected Armand. A longterm hard drug user like Daniel would have to have taken a lot of something very strong, particularly if we're talking about the drugs readily available to addicts in the 80s. This is one of those things in the books that I reject their canon and insert my own when I think about it. There are a bunch of outstanding arguments for why Daniel was dying of AIDS and then there's Anne's own words that she meant for it to drugs and I just feel like this is one of those occasions where death of the author must be applied. At least for it to make sense in *my* brain.

I am so sorry I just filled your inbox with a wall of text only very tangentially related to the original topic, which was to say 'thank you' and 'yay, one my favorite blogs said this was nice and now I feel less like all my commentary is unhinged nonsense! :D' But a wall text that no one asked for came out. I'm so sorry.

Hi!

First of all, don't worry about the wall of text, it's fine. It's nice getting message from people who just enjoy what I have to say and just want to say thank you! I will never have a problem with that. 🙂

I don't know if you've checked out my tag on the subject of AIDS on my blog, but I have some older posts there that discuss my thoughts when I first read Queen of the Damned and how Daniel was dying in that book. And, to be fair, Daniel wasn't really dying of drugs there, it was cirrhosis of the liver from drinking too much. Which I'm sure Anne chose it because she'd had a history of alcoholism and so could write from experience about it.

But yeah, it's still an addiction he was dying of. Which, by the time I read the book in 1995 was rather jarring that it actually wasn't AIDS, as I said in this post here. I can understand why it wasn't (given when Rice was originally writing that book), but it just can't help but be jarring now, when you read that book after the 1980s I feel.

Given that the showrunner and writers are playwrights, however, I think they well know they can't do Daniel's story in this day and age now without mentioning the AIDS crisis and tying his character into it in some way. It would just ring hollow not to, IMO. And I think they know that given that AIDS-related issues were some of the very first images we see in the first episode of the show, as well as the book we know in-universe he wrote about it.

Anyway, yes I really liked your post, and again, no apologies needed for the length or anything, really! The fact that you see me as a favorite blog to read is so nice to hear! 🤗