#yeah ok I might have missed you
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Ok. Five days without antihistamines before my immunology appointment (FINALLY). I can do it. I won’t even look at a potato. 😤
#hyping myself up#because hoo boy#It’s gonna suck#MCAS#allergies#I genuinly don’t know what to eat for the next five days#so many things are risky but ok when I take the antihistamines#like breads might kick my ass now??#maybe??#meats seem to bother me if I miss a dose so#can’t stomach pretty much any fruit at all even with antihistamines#canned green beans are currently the only veg that doesn’t make me sick#living large lmao#anyway yeah#pray for me or like send me good vibes for the next five days#if you have any to spare#thank you 😭#personal#medications#Batwynn talks#please blacklist the prev tag to avoid seeing any personal posts
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Time to update my info I guess
#i am...21.#wow.#i know i've been dreading it leading up to it for the past few days#but my friends and family made me love life more i think#so#yeah#i'm happy that i'm alive#i'm happy that i'm growing older#i'll miss the times i had#but i'm looking forward to making new things#having more fun times#and knowing that i'll still be me through it all#happy birthday noah#you're feeling ok now#and yeah things might get rough again#but you have safety nets now#you're safe#you're secure#you're home#krypt.txt
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It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc it’s been cooking me how people don’t Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gus’s devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but let’s not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesn’t Interact with him when it doesn’t concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if it’s bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith don’t even miss Gus when he ‘died’ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasn’t it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than we’ve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gus’s angle) relationship#that’s being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but it’s so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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omw to school now chat!! 😸
#Mini vent bc im not ok haha:#So i literally cant stop shaking and ws barely able to breathe when i ws getting ready + ws hyperventilating the whole time.#Feel about a split second away from starting to cry again.#Mother left like 5 minutes before the taxi ws meant to get here bc she had to bring cat to the vet.#So she ws js like 'sorry i cant help :[ oh btw you gotta get ur shit together in <5min for school bye' which. Um. Yeah.#So i had about 3 minutes of breakdown time before i had to get my shit together and now i gotta sit through 6 hours of random bs probably w#a bunch of catch up work bc i wasnt in last week when we properly went back. So ive missed like 3 days worth of lessons.#So 6 hours worth of random bs + extra catch up work (besides the fact im also behind in a bunch of shit anyways bc i joined the class late.#& i'll probably have a thousand and one teachers 'checking on' me. All they want to hear is just another fucking lie of me saying im ok bc#Im too much of a fucking burden to not be. Even if i say im not ok the most ill probably fucking get is a shitty cup of tea and 5 minutes t#sit in the hall being gawked at for having the audacity to not be ok.#Spooks isnt in today. My other friend might be? Crimson might be? And Star might be? So idfk.#I dont want to make fake fucking conversation i dont really want to talk ever or do anything.#I dont feel able to exist right now. But i cant not?? So! Hn. Guess its fucking school instead.#Um. Yeah. Sorry?( I guess? Not really.) For this chat.#See you guys later.
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in hindsight Buck Vernon is such a funny character. like his whole story starts off with his ass getting dumped but not even realizing it. he goes across the country searching for her and doesn't have any luck until he goes to a random fortune teller (who later admits to scamming him) and takes her vague bullshit to heart which leads him to get caught in the middle of a wild drug ring and he may have accidentally set off a war between said drug dealers and a gang of arsonists that was founded by an undead biker dude. he once bumped into said undead biker dude at a night club while running from the cops. he can see/talk to ghosts and it's never explained why and he doesnt even make a big deal of it. he ends up finding a corpse in the middle of the road and goes "well shit someone has to bury the guy". when said corpse gets up and asks for a smoke buck just. gives it to him and starts having a chat with him. he cant lie for shit and gets caught like every single time but still manages to get out of every situation alive. he once beat up a drug dealer in the back of an arcade. he got black brained which kills every other character it happened to and just. didnt die somehow?? he's killed at least two people and doesn't even blink. when he found his ex and got dumped a second time he just. got up and walked off with a bullet wound in his leg. he presumably lived and proceeds to write weird sad love songs for the rest of his life.
hes the most pathetic noir protagonist ive ever seen. there's something deeply wrong with him. i want to study him
#Edit: I FORGOT ABOUT THE CANON HALLUCINATIONS#he also vividly hallucinates and it’s just an aspect of his character#the ghosts aren’t hallucinations because they know things buck has no way of knowing so he canonly can see ghosts#hes so funny who lets him be like this#whats wrong with him#buck seeing a corpse get up and start walking around: damn this would make a good song#ok but seriously though why can he talk to ghosts#like he can just do that. why#I might be wrong about the first part but honestly vide noir is way funnier if he has no clue. like lee left him but didnt tell him shit#imagine going through all this shit for someone only to found out they weren't missing they just ghosted you#its so funny#also how did he even survive getting black brained. like yeah yeah cosmic ash can bring you back from an overdose but#buck didnt have that. he just?? decided not to die???#at this point god wont let him die#vide noir#vide noir movie#buck vernon#dani speaks#lord huron
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#tko_art#you are the most talented#most interesting#and most extraordinary person in the universe#And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the special.#What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love?#do you long for having your heart interlinked?#do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing?#what will you have after 500 years?#oh i forgot the airbrush for the depth#i thought this was pretty good but i just remembered the top lid doesn't really ahve shape#whatever#tried doing the shadow on the corner of it's eye too#that didn't work out lol#i'm starting to slowly think that putting the time and effort into being my friend is not worth it#asked my therapist how to start believing words and she completely misunderstood it#because at the end of the day yeah words are just words and no matter how much u try to tell me I won't believe you#and i get it i get it i get it i just can't apply it#anyway might fuck around and rewatch one piece and catch up#it's eating me up inside#you dont get it#what's not to love#argue with the wall#ok well the fanservice sucks ass#makes me want to kill myself
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One of my brothers is moving away to college today + I have to skip therapy, so it’s a lot of… a lot. a lot.
#he was just a baby! he was just a little kid I carried around and took care of!#no nope. not gonna get into it right now. I WILL cry. it’s not even 6am and I do not need that right now#and I don’t really know if therapy today would really help#if I got into it I’d just start crying in front of this nice dude for an hour#though yeah… might be nice to.. I dunno… just talk about it.#I am always simultaneously ‘therapy is good’ and ‘what’s the point in talking about it?’#so maybe I do need that person that’s like ‘this is your time. just fucking talk.’#but also right now it’s like… talking about it won’t take me back to when my brother was little and far off from leaving#blegh…#whatever. anyway. it’s gonna be a sad day. I’m gonna cry A LOT. I’m gonna be alone in this apartment and just sooooobbbbbbing#and then keep this inside for another week before I can go to therapy and talk about this bc god forbid I talk to a family member about it#ok now it’s 6am. I think he’s leaving in about 4 hours. it’s cool. it’ll be cool. 😎 I’ll just miss my bro so dang much#but maybe I’ll walk down to the dollar store and stock up on snacks and I’ll get blasted and fatter and try to stay positive#uggghhh#I’m too emotional#time just keeps moving for us all. to my dismay.#’time is the fire in which we burn’#you can ignore this#I don’t think I’ll ever have kids. I’ll never have kids. and being there. with him. with my brothers. that was the closest I’ll ever get.#and it’s over… so… 🤷🏻♂️… it’s just done… they’re grown. and I’m still here. I don’t know what else to say…#but that’s life. they’re doing their thing. I’m happy for them and I want them to be happy too. I’m just a big crybaby#IAN!… stop typing!#just making myself sad at this point#it’s fine. it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m cool. everything’s… cool 😎#this isn’t important#text
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i think the establishment of "viator" as a title/interfix/whatchamacallit (ok google says it's a kind of prepositional particle but that's long and nonspecific so i'm not gonna use it) in endwalker is really really interesting. the existence of a word that can just culturally replace a part of your name, a part that appears to bind you to family? a title that is a literal social marker of exile. to be so completely disowned by nation and homeland that even the name they call you is revoked and altered.
other interesting thing about that is that "viator" is clearly meant to be taken as derived from "violator," as in, one who has broken the law or social code to the point where they can no longer be considered a citizen (i.e. [gestures at everything zenos did]). but in latin, viator actually means traveler. which i think is so fucking interesting. you are one who left us. one who strayed from home.
OTHER interesting related thing is that cid is still apparently Cid nan Garlond, according to gaius/nero/basically every garlean who uses his old name. like, cid is kind of infamous, right? highly skilled inventor, intended inheritor of an important legacy, who, from their perspective, sold his soul and principles to the enemy, ran off over to eorzea and put garlemald's proprietary magitek to use doing whatthefuckever he wanted. so why haven't they disowned him officially yet? why isn't he Cid viator Garlond?
ok the doylist explanation could very well be "they hadn't come up with the concept of viator during 1.x / arr and it was too late to retcon by the time of endwalker" but like, in universe. ignoring that. is viator reserved for like, nobility? is it a thing that needs to be done by immediate family and after midas's death, there wasn't anybody around to declare it? but actually i think the most likely explanation is based on the fact that nero bitches about his reputation and says he's "still the young prodigy of magitek," and gaius invites him to a position working directly for him, in the praetorium. they haven't officially exiled him cause they're still lowkey hoping he'll come to his senses and come take his father's place. which is Not happening but they just wanna leave the door open, just in case.
#the nemesis speaks#swift plays ff14#this is just me talking to myself mostly#this combo'd with my last post makes it really obvious what my specific interests in fiction are lmao#i put the social mechanics under a MICROSCOPE i study them like BUGS#i love it when words are complicated. love it when someone says something short but you can unspool that short phrase#into a complex net of declarations about their beliefs and relation to the person they're conversing with and-#ok i'm stopping. anyway yeah.#with the usual disclaimer that i'm over here in my corner doing my own thing. i might have missed some other part of canon. whatever!!#edit: OOPSIE#ffxiv spoilers#endwalker spoilers
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Holmes also canonically played the violin, which...look do you know how many ADHD people have at least tried to learn that? Because it's a really weirdly high number. One of my more popular posts was about the time I ADHD impulse bought a violin and a friend, also with ADHD relayed that they did the same. And boy oh boy were the notes full of people with ADHD talking about impulse purchasing musical instruments...mainly violins.
Like, the violin isn't a symptom of ADHD but it sure seems popular with it.
“lol Arthur Conan Doyle clearly didn’t know anything about drugs. Sherlock Holmes did cocaine but it calmed him down. That’s not how cocaine works!”
There are two options: Arthur Conan Doyle had never met someone addicted to cocaine or he met some with ADHD who was addicted to cocaine
#ADHD#actually adhd#I mind there was a post a while back about Holmes - bearing in mind I've never actually read a Sherlock Holmes book#that was talking about how the character is written and their internal perspective and shit and I was just like ''oh''#because it all seemed *really* ADHD#and with what the last commenter said yeah ok it's possible Doyle may have had it I guess#interestingly it might also go hand in hand with his attitude towards cocaine#because cocaine isn't a great one for it but it *can* treat some aspects of ADHD as it's a dopmaninergic stimulant#it just isn't specific enough in the regions of the brain it targets to be much use#but also because of how it works people with ADHD often just...don't find cocaine as enjoyable as other people#like it's a stimulant and may focus you but the intense euphoria that makes a lot of people mad for it is missing or diminished#so while other doctors are getting themselves and everyone else blasted on it back in that day and having a whale of a time#if ACD had an ADHD brain he might have experienced it as ''well it clarifies things but I really can take it or leave it''#while noticing how much it fucks people up#same thing as how NT people taking ADHD meds can get high and it really makes them weird but for us it makes us more *normal*#it's one of the things with the whole addiction potential issues with it: they don't really apply to people with ADHD#what for other brains would be an addictive set of reactions to us is just like bringing us up to baseline brain reward levels
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man how the fuck do i keep forgetting to take my vyvanse, this shit rocks. i do in fact need to be taking this every day! like ok yeah you have to aim carefully with the hyperfocus laser but even then that's not a big deal because task switching isn't an issue, and initiating doesn't suck either!
i just spent an hour locked the fuck in deleting the 5000+ screenshots i don't need out of my photos app to kill time instead of just rotting in bed doomscrolling until business hours so i can do all the non-urgent life admin shit i've been putting off forever (including making a dentist's appointment which for me is A Big Deal) and then i might tidy or something (which are words that i don't ever say willingly), all before lunch. what the fuck
#tiycs#it's funny because i get my script filled on time every month but i just don't fucking take them#(and yes obligatory haha you have the forget disease and forget to take your not-forget medication)#i guess it's less “forget” per se and more... idk. taking it means i have to face The Implications#the grief of 'holy fuck is this how normal people go through life? this is what i've been missing out on so long?'#(and whilst i'm so glad i have the brain work pills now i do wonder how i might have turned out if i wasn't late diagnosed)#the guilt of 'you aren't doing anything with your life right now so why do you need the brain work pills anyway?'#and ok yeah it's not a lifesaving medication like epinephrine or insulin or perhaps say lamotrigine (lol)#but it does help me make a life for myself that is worth living and i think that's kind of lifesaving in a way#AND i don't binge eat! truly a miracle drug
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I mean sure, I can understand this perspective, but I'm not sure whether most people feel less shaken to be thrust into conversations about "self-unaliving" than conversations about "suicide"
and I for one as a survivor would much rather unexpectedly encounter somebody talking about "rape" than somebody talking about how funny it is to have sex with somebody when they don't want to, a normal thing that doesn't need to be named because it's So Normal.
which is to say. this is a post about words. the words are not the distressing thing about the discussion. the distressing thing is the distressing thing about the discussion. sugarcoating, dodging or renaming the distressing thing doesn't make it less distressing but it DOES often make it harder to have a frank discussion about it or address it in serious terms.
[pinch of salt: solid probability from their blog that this person is a Literal 14 Year Old and the perspective from 30 and 14 are very different. I do stand by all the points I'm making but I think this conversation lands a lot different for people at different life stages - there is something to be said for the general issue that the internet has flattened social groups to the degree that I as a 30 year old can make a post to my audience of largely adult millennials that immediately enters the same conversational space as people half my age and still in school. that seems. ungreat. as the primary way we engage in conversation. but I don't have solutions to offer.]
you gotta be able to say "die"
you gotta be able to say "suicide"
you gotta be able to talk about "sex"
they're uncomfortable topics, YEAH for SURE
because LIFE is uncomfortable. Death and suicide and sex and pain are straight up going to happen. not having words for the way it discomforts you doesn't make it more comfortable, it just makes you less able to reach out about it.
even more vital, you gotta be able to say words like "rape", "abuse", "queer" or "racist". cause we fought fucking hard to name those experiences. to identify "rape" as distinct from "sex" and "racism" as distinct from "acceptable behaviour" and "queer" as distinct from "invert"
like the function of communication is not to minimise immediate discomfort. we gotta be able to talk about stuff that's hard or sucks or causes difficult conversations.
#red said#i also wholeheartedly disagree with the rest of your post#all entertainment is political. all of it. because politics is the models we use to describe how we interact as a community#and art is inherently communal. so it's inherently political.#that doesn't mean all entertainment has to be a Pure Political Statement. some stuff is just dumb because dumb shit is fun.#but like it's not. detached from the world. and a lack of political intent doesn't mean it's utterly unchallenging.#ok for example. have you ever. enjoyed watching a cheesy 80s zombie movie and it is gory and stupid and great#but then there's a scene where maybe there's a really fucked-up implication about what we as an audience are meant to think#or a rape scene played for light laughs. or whatever your line is.#and they meant it to be fun. you watched it for fun. but you're not having fucking fun any more. there's a bad taste in your mouth.#contrast. sometimes i am reading a nonfiction article for work or something. it is miserable and grim it is about homelessness and dv#but the writer has put it together so well and made their point so clearly you're like YES! YES! THAT'S IT!!!!#and even beyond that like. i am a disabled multiple rape and abuse survivor. i have been through a non zero amount of The Shit.#and a lot of the stuff i find most entertaining and relaxing is stuff that acknowledges that as a Thing Which Happens#like I'm a nerd man. i like video essays about misogyny and fascism and reactionary homophobia.#i like films that make me cry bc they touch an emotional raw spot. i like tiktoks where people joke about their experiences of abuse#i like SFF stories about trauma and survival and sad robots#and yeah you know sometimes i want to watch a comedy panel show or a tiktok of bottles rolling down stairs#but effective entertainment is a conversation! comedy and chill vibes rest on like. deciding what to riff on#and who your anticipated audience is. and nah actually that's not apolitical and also#identifying common human experiences like death or trauma or marginalisation as inherently Political and therefore Unfun#misses the point that like. the question isn't what you acknowledge but how you acknowledge it.#as a rape survivor. for example. i don't necessarily want to open tiktok to a lecture on rape culture.#but i might well stick about for a standup routine about being a survivor of rape#and i will absolutely bounce from a vid where nobody mentions rape bc they think what they're talking about is fine when it's. rapey af.#anyway. this is a sidebar cause even if i agreed about entertainment v politics my main point would still stand#but i very much don't agree and i think you need to maybe look at how you approach entertainment media as neutral#but also i feel very strongly about this and not to harp on the like aS A sUrViVoR thing but#AS A SURVIVOR my fucking LIFE includes ''dark topics'' like suicide and rape. and i don't appreciate how often that's treated as#an unfair imposition to speak about or acknowledge. 'dark shit' is inescapably a major part of my life/self AND I'm funny + entertaining
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Another cutesy little steddie thing. all fluff. Post vecna. 1648 words.
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It’s not that Eddie was a wuss…
Ok maybe he was, but still this was a terrifying prospect… asking Steve Harrington out.
It didn’t help that he was getting advice from a 15 year old.
“Do you think he likes you back?” Dustin asked, tapping a pencil against his chin.
“I don’t know, Henderson,” Eddie ran his hands over his face. What was he doing? “You’re supposed to be helping me figure that out.”
Dustin tapped his chin again and looked at the ceiling.
In all honesty, Eddie would usually talk to Jeff about this stuff, but he had to be visiting his family in Ohio because of stupid Thanksgiving.
“Well, you guys hang out a lot, that’s gotta count for something.” Dustin pointed out.
“You hang out a lot with Sinclair and Wheeler. You wanna make out with them?” Dustin pulled a face. “That’s what I thought.”
“I am happily in a relationship, thanks.” Dustin pointed out.
He always had a reason to point it out.
“I know, and I would like to be as well, so if we could get back to the discussion at hand…”
“Ok, ok… Well, Steve hasn’t really been dating recently… right?”
“No, he hasn’t.”
“Maybe that means something?”
“I don’t know… He says he just hasn’t met the right person yet…”
“Well… he used ‘person,’ not ‘girl!’ That’s a good sign!” Dustin pointed his pencil at Eddie.
“Sure, but you’re missing a key point in that statement.” Eddie sighed. Dustin squinted at him. “He’s met me, Dustin.”
Dustin’s eyebrows shot up. “Fair point.”
Eddie dropped his face into his hands. Dustin started up again.
“Your idea that Steve might like you is a hypothesis and science dictates that the only way to conclude if a hypothesis is correct is to prove it. To run experiments.”
Eddie let out a belabored sigh.
“So, test it,” Dustin continued. “Ask Steve out.”
Eddie stared at Dustin, knowing he was right in his own little, nerd way.
“Yeah… Ok, alright, yeah, I’ll do it.”
\\\\\\\
The next day was movie night at Steve’s with the whole crew. The kids, Nancy, and Robin were all in the living room putting out snacks and arguing about where they would sit. Eddie figured now was as good a time as any. He crossed over to the kitchen, meandering over to Steve who was waiting for the popcorn in the microwave.
“Hey.” Eddie offered once he was a few feet away. Nailed it.
“Hey,” Steve looked over at him, “how’s physical therapy going? I’ve been meaning to call you, see if you needed any help.” Steve responded with a soft smile at Eddie, the kind that made all the nervous energy in him disappear. The microwave beeped and Steve pulled the popcorn out, hissing when he grabbed the hot part of the bag before dropping it in one of the big plastic bowls he had waiting.
Eddie grabbed another bag out of the box, unfolded it and handed it to Steve.
“Uh, good, good, I guess. I never really know if I’m doing the exercises right. The paper instructions are shit.”
Steve laughed at that, “Yeah, I’ve been there. I could come over some time, help you figure them out?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. That would be great… actually.” Eddie swallowed. “But, uh, before that happens, I, uh, I have to ask you something.” Eddie stumbled over the words before looking over his shoulder, making sure no one else would be witness to him getting shot down by Steve Harrington, even if he was in a house full of friends.
“Yeah?” Steve turned toward Eddie, leaned his hip against the counter, the picture of nonchalance.
“Yeah,” Eddie cleared his throat, “Would you, uh, ever consider, maybe… shit. Start over.” Eddie clamped his jaw in a grimace before starting again. He couldn’t look at Steve yet. If he saw any bit of apprehension or negative emotion, he would never actually get the full question out. “Would you like to go out… on a date… with me?”
Eddie finally looked at Steve instead of the cabinet behind his head. His initial look gave him nothing. Steve looked the same, if not a little more still, a little more focused. But he wasn’t saying anything. The nervous energy was back with a vengeance and Eddie was starting to feel twitchy the longer Steve stared at him.
And then Lucas walked into the kitchen.
“Is this one ready?” he asked, pulling the bowl with the popcorn bag in it across the counter. The microwave behind Steve beeped. He was still staring at Eddie. Eddie was still staring at Steve.
“Uh-huh.” Steve answered.
“Should I get that one out?” Lucas asked.
“I’ll get it in a second,” Steve said, his eyes now roaming over Eddie’s face.
“I don’t mind.” Lucas offered.
“Dude.” Steve’s eyes finally left Eddie and he felt himself deflate a little bit, muscles twinging from where he had been clenching them. “I’ll get it. Can you give us a minute?”
“Oh! Uh, yeah? Sure?” Lucas replied, quickly grabbing the bowl and heading back towards the living room.
Steve’s eyes flicked back to Eddie and he felt suddenly compelled to talk. Like a tidal wave, his insecurities drowned him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you. I’m not your type, I know. I—”
“Yes.”
“Don’t even know if…” Eddie stopped to process what Steve said. “Yes? Yes, I’m not your type or yes you… you want to…”
“Yes. I’ll go out with you.”
Eddie finally looked at Steve, really took him in instead of concentrating on not collapsing in on himself. Steve looked almost… shy? Nervous? There was the slightest blush on his neck, the smallest, guarded smile. He, Eddie now noticed, had been white knuckling his own arm ever since Eddie asked.
Interesting.
Eddie relaxed a little. “Yeah?”
Steve’s smile grew bigger as he nodded. “Yeah.”
Eddie couldn’t help the smile that took over his face. He did it. He asked Steve out. And Steve said yes! What’s more, Steve looked caught off guard in the best way possible. “Oh, just you wait, Harrington. I’m gonna wine and dine you like you’ve never been wined and dined before.” Eddie grinned.
“The popcorn’s getting cold! What’s taking you guys so long!” Dustin yelled from the living room.
Steve turned to the microwave to get the popcorn and Eddie reveled in Steve’s smile. The way it looked like he was restraining it, the way Steve looked lighter than he had in weeks.
They walked back to the living room together, and Eddie kicked Mike off the couch so he could sit next to Steve. Halfway through the movie, Steve slipped his hand into Eddie’s. On impulse, he pulled Steve’s hand up to kiss the back of it, before shifting closer and leaning his head on Steve’s shoulder. When he felt the press of Steve’s head on top of his he thought maybe he was dead. Maybe the bats had finished him off and he was in heaven.
He would have to thank Dustin for pushing him to ask Steve. He would never hear the end of it.
When the movie ended and everyone was leaving, Eddie hung around the living room so he would be the last to go. He refolded the blankets, rewound the tape and put it back in its box, and picked up the popcorn bowls and candy wrappers. He was in the kitchen throwing things out, thinking maybe he had enough time to run to the bathroom, when Steve reappeared.
“Everyone head out?” Eddie asked as Steve approached him.
“Mhmm.” He replied before stepping around the kitchen island and stopping in front of Eddie. “Coast is clear.”
“Oh yeah?” Eddie grinned, stepping closer.
“Mmm,” Steve hummed before leaning in, pressing his lips to Eddie’s.
Eddie had kissed quite a few people before, boys and girls alike, but this kiss with Steve. It was different. It filled him up, distracted him from everything else so that when his back hit the counter it almost startled him.
“Sorry.” Steve hummed, pulling away.
“Don’t be.” Eddie managed to get out before pulling Steve back in. He was definitely in heaven. Except in heaven, he wouldn’t be almost peeing his pants. Curse that whole bottle of coke.
Eddie pulled back with a soft, ‘shit.’
“You okay?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, fantastic, great. Except I think I’m about to pee my pants. Don’t go anywhere, Big Boy.” Eddie said before practically running to the bathroom, Steve’s surprised laughter following him down the hall.
When he got back, Steve was washing the popcorn bowls and pizza plates from earlier in the night, sweater pushed up to his elbows, the locks of hair hanging in his eyes swinging with his movements. Eddie stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist.
“No one has ever asked me out.” Steve said after a few seconds.
“What?” Eddie let go in surprise, moving next to Steve so he could see his face. “Seriously?”
Steve nodded.
“The way girls talked about you I would have thought they would be lining up.” Eddie mused.
“No. I’m the guy, you know? I mean they definitely dropped hints, but none of them asked me.”
Eddie reveled in that for a second. He was the first person to ask Steve Harrington out.
“So, how does it feel being on the receiving end?” Eddie asked, nudging Steve.
“So good.” Steve smiled at him, the sincerity of his words bleeding out of him so much that Eddie had to dart forward and peck him on the cheek.
“Where do you want to go?” Eddie asked.
“You said you were gonna wine and dine me,” Steve replied, “I trust you.”
Those words sent a bolt of pure reassurance through Eddie. “Oh, Steve Harrington,” he half sing-songed, half chuckled, “I’m gonna date you so hard.”
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american wedding l ln4
summary: lando dating zak brown's daughter leads to a lot of pr disasters, like getting married in vegas
notes: can be read as a part two to boss' daughter or a stand alone
masterlist
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 38,329 others
yourusername wasnt gonna drink tonight but i miss my bf like a mf.
view all comments
user real tbh
user i miss u like a mf. show ur face at a race already queen.
user no cause it's been forever since she went to one and i miss the chaotic content with her and lando
user you know damn well you were gonna drink regardless liked by yourusername
landonorris i miss u more😓 just drop out of uni and come to all my races
zbrownceo excuse me?
landonorris JUST A JOKE! ha ha ha.
user LANDO😭😭
landonorris but i just booked a flight to nyc because of this post btw. see you this weekend😈
yourusername i was about to start crying until i realized what emoji you used😐
oscarpiastri dont we have be at the mtc this weekened??
yourusername SHHHH OSCAH
landonorris yeah oscar shhh
user poor oscar is always getting tag teammed by those two
user lando getting that in-law privilege by skipping important meetings to see his boss' daughter😭
user i love this relationship's dynamic theyre so perfect for each other
f1gossip
23,432 likes
f1gossip Lando and Y/n's Brown's weekend in New York City! It seems Lando skipped his trip to the MTC to be with his girlfriend where they were pictured clubbing and walking around the city multiple times.
view all comments
user IN THE CLURB WE ALL FAM
user he finally met his match lol
user lando is a clingy drunk confirmed✅
user i really want to know what their drunk conversations sound like
user hot take but if she wasnt zaks daughter most of you guys would hate her
user shes making him blow off important meetings so he could be with her? she sounds like a distraction from racing
user girl what- her dad is literally the ceo? if there was an issue im sure he wouldve let them know bffr
user zak brown is probably tired of these two😭
user is partying all they do together?
user no cause she lowkey seems like a bad influence
user i agree🫣 shes always posting herself partying and drinking, thats not wag material
user she might be a pr nightmare but i stand with my canceled wife💜
landonorris
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 820,429 others
landonorris nyc to vegas🛩 aaaand i brought the bad influence with
tagged yourusername
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user the caption IM-
user nah hes lowkey dissing y/n haters😭
user how did he bag someone 10x cooler than him
user the bottle of alcohol and the vape, she really is ready for vegas
user Y/N'S BACK!!!
yourusername vegas aint ready for us
landonorris no they arent😈
yourusername enough.
user no hate to the other wags but y/n is truly the realest one out of all of them
user fr she truly is just a normal girl in her twenties
oscarpiastri 🙂
yourusername what is that suppose that mean OSCAH!!! my father will hear of this
oscarpiastri ok calm down draco malfoy
user why is there lowkey beef between y/n and oscar LMFAO
yourusername he hates my swag!!!
oscarpiastri she brings a lotttt of energy to the garage when shes here🙂
user im crying at oscars response😭😭😭 hes had enough of yn and lando
user idk if her holding a bottle of alcohol is appropriate to post!
user pls grow up omg
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 59,329 others
yourusername postt race partoes >>>>>> the avtual race
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user THEE party girl
user i need to party with them so bad
user lando.jpg when???
user the typos😭 shes already drunk
user yup theres already videos of her and lando drunkly dancing together all over twitter
user yeah and oscar was in the background of those videos looking miserable LMFAOO
user oh to be a wag partying in vegas with lando
yourusername posted a story
user i voted fall to my knees and cry btw…if you even care
user um this is a random question to ask at 3am…
user what stores are even open rn😭😭
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oscarpiastri Y/N??? IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU AND LANDO FOR LIKE A HALF AN HOUR AT THE CLUB AND YOURE NOT EVEN HERE??
oscarpiastri if you guys dont pick up your phones i swear to god…
oscarpiastri of course i get stuck as babysitter to the two most drunk people at the party
yourusername heY oscah😊😊 sendingg u my lpcation now cuz we need a witness so come ASAPPPPPP
oscarpiastri WITNESS FOR WHAT?
-
danielricciardo if this means what i think it means, youre both so dead🤣
user babes didnt u just post at the club like an hour ago
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 1,392,321 others
yourusername do u guys thonk my dad will be mad thaT oscar walked me down the aislee?
view all comments
user OH MY GOD??
user mclarens pr team are going to have a rude awakening in the morning😭
user shes never beating the bad influence allegations i fear
user crazy to think that this time last year he was flirting with her through her instagram comments😭
user and now theyre married omg i remember everyone was teasing lando but he truly got the last laugh
carlossainz55 i dont know if i should congralute you guys or be concerned?
user mind you, its almost four in the morning in vegas
danielricciardo getting married is crazy, you should be at the club
yourusername u mak a grrat point! otw now
mclaren we cannot congratulate until the boss says its okay sorry😕
zbrownceo answer your phone.
oscarpiastri sir, i would like it to be known that she blackmailed to be there
yourusername okay snitch!
zbrownceo im not kidding y/n
danielricciardo ouuu youre in trouble
user its so over for them
user zak finally putting his foot down with these two LMFAO
f1gossip
25,532 likes
f1gossip Wedding celebrations at the club! Seems like the newlyweds are back partying after their wedding announcement was made just a few minutes ago. Congrats to them?
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user everyone is freaking out and theyre literally at the club im cryingg
user "congrats to them?" is literally all of us rn😭
user they are not real omg
user zak is probably blowing up their phones and they do not care at all lmfaooo
user truly winning the idgaf war
user real question is are they getting an annulment once they sober up???
user i really wanna know what zak will make them do
f1gossip
20,329 likes
f1gossip Newly weds update! The two were seen this afternoon leaving Las Vegas with Zak Brown himself. Neither were seen wearing wedding rings, possible divorce?
view all comments
user well that was fun while it lasted
user damn they beat kim kardashians record of the shortest marriage
user at least theyre still dating😭
user they definitely got yelled at lmfaoo
user cant tell if zak is happy or angry that his daughter married norris considering how much he loves him
user oh hes def happy about it but not happy they posted it LOL
user good for him for getting an annulment. shes a mess
user and hes not? bye theyre both messy
landonorris 📍qatar
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,424,232 others
landonorris annulment? we're in our honeymoon
view all comments
user oh so theyre fr about this marriage😭
user does bro know theres a race on sunday
user they look so in love im honestly really happy for them
yourusername we beat the fraud marriage allegations💜
mclaren now thats its been approved by the boss, congratulations to the best papaya couple theres ever been🧡
user wow so zak approves! im shocked tbh
user i wish i couldve seen their reactions the morning after the wedding
yourusername ohhh we didnt remember any of it tbh but were happy now!
user LMFAO OMG....
user she finally got her ring!! and here you guys were thinking they got a divorce bc she didnt have one
danielricciardo never thought id see the day
yourusername me neither tbh
landonorris excuse me WHAT
landoupdates
50,242 likes
landoupdates Lando was questioned on his Vegas wedding in new interview.
"We decided not to get any annulment or anything and just keep this Vegas marriage as sort of like a promise for a real one in the future." 🧡
view all comments
user omg😭😭they are too cute
user not to be dramatic but i would honestly cried if they broke up
user no literally they mean everything to me
user "i really do think y/n is the one" DO YOU HEAR ME SOBBING
user he gets so smiley when y/n is brought up ughhh me and WHO
user and to think y/n has haters is crazyyy this man is so in love with her
user if oscar isnt the best man ill riot for him, he was there for the og wedding
user imagining them trying to convince zak to not get a divorce is the cutest but funniest thing ever
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more notes: has anyone seen anora?? it inspired this haha A FRAUD MARRIAGE!!!
#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#ln4#f1 fanfic
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Ok I love your post about sleep talking to Aaron, but can you imagine if reader is pregnant but hasn’t told Aaron yet and completely spills the beans in her sleepy ramblings 💙💙
thanks for requesting! <3 fem, 1.4k
“Can you take my socks off for me?”
Aaron decides against asking why. Finds he doesn’t really care why you don’t want to do it yourself, happy to do it for you and spend a little time touching you. He sits on the end of the bed, pulling the comforter off of your feet. He slides a finger under the band of a sock and pulls it off, then the other. Pleased to hear your content sigh, he tucks you back under the blankets.
“Thank you,” you say.
He hears it then, the tiredness creeping into your voice.
“Not gonna last long tonight?”
“Don’t think so.”
Aaron doesn’t mind. With Jack in bed already and everything that needed to be done put away, there’s nothing to do tonight but sleep. He would’ve liked to have had a few more hours with you, but you’re often tired lately. He keeps meaning to pay closer attention to your diet. Perhaps you’re eating too little or missing a necessary vitamin.
He strips out of his sweatpants and climbs into bed.
“Ooh, how forward, Mr. Hotchner,” you tease, your cheek to your pillow, curled and waiting for him to lay down.
He turns out the light. “Can’t a man take off his pyjamas without such accusations?” he asks back, soft so as not to disturb his sleeping son nor his failing partner.
Aaron shakes the sheets out over his legs, slipping onto his side in your direction. You hike your leg over his thigh. He pulls you in.
“Why are you so tired?” he asks.
You don’t pretend you’re not, eyes closing and forehead drifting forward. He’s content to talk to you like this. He might not be able to sleep for a while, but he won’t mind it. It’s an opportunity to see you as you are without inhibitions or distractions.
“I think it’s something in the air.” You slink your arm behind him where he’s hugged you, hand bent at an awkward angle to press into his hair. “So soft.”
He leans down for a kiss. “If you need to sleep,” he says, pulling away only to stroke under your eye, “you can sleep, honey.”
“No… miss you too much…”
“I’ll still be here in the morning.”
“Don’t promise if you can’t.”
He kisses your frown. “I promise I’ll be here in the morning. Just like we talked about. Regularly scheduled days off, definite weekends, consult only if necessary. I promise, honey.”
“I love you.”
“I know. I love you more.”
You’re delighted to hear it. Even with your eyes closed, he can sense the pleasure you’re feeling. You squeeze closer to his chest and begin pulling your fingers through his hair, a sensation that sends shivers down his spine with each pass. Your face falls on your pillow just under his chin and for a while you struggle, your hand trembling with the effort of stroking his hair. Soon, you’re scratching light circles into the same spot, and not long after that you’ve given in to simply having your hand there, buried without hurting.
He turns onto his back to relieve a hip ache. He doesn’t bother pretending it isn’t a plus when you end up half atop him.
“Aaron?”
“Yeah?” he asks, surprised you're capable of opening your mouth.
“Are you happy?”
“Never so much in my life.”
“You love me?”
He curls an arm behind the back of your head. “You know that I do, sweetheart.” Aaron is at a crossroads of disposition; he’s always been and always will be a sensitive man, but he’s more of a shower than a teller when he can help it. He’d hope you know every inch of love he has for you, in everything he tries to do, but if you’re asking him about it he should’ve said it more. “I love you. I’m so grateful for you.”
“I love you and Jack, and… I love our life.”
“Me too,” he says. “Is this a precursor for something?”
“No,” you say decidedly. Last bit of inflection, and then your tone’s lost to fatigue. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” he says, pressing his lips to your head, kissing you once, then twice. “Goodnight.”
You curl up into him. He can feel the moment you fall into sleep, the laxness of unconsciousness and your deepening breath. You don’t usually snore for the first hour or so. He should try to fall asleep with you, but he gets distracted by the line of your upper lip.
He really does love you. It isn’t an underestimation to say this is the happiest he’s ever been. He’ll always wonder if he deserves it, but he wants to believe now that he can earn it. You love him, so he’ll spend the rest of your lives together making sure you’re happy. He’s had some cruel wake up calls, made agonising mistakes, and maybe there are some things that can’t be forgiven. But you deserve to be loved to the fullest extent. Jack deserves to grow up feeling the same way, in a home where his dad, while staying true to who he is, actually lives there too.
You and Jack both gave him a second chance at a good life.
“I love you,” he says again.
Stirring, you mumble nothing.
He shouldn’t have done that. “Shh,” he says, rubbing your back. “Shh, shh.”
“Aaron?”
You turn his name into a shapeless doting.
“What, my girl?” he asks under his breath. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sleeping.”
“You were.” He whispers to you in the dark, struggling to resist temptation. “I was just telling you I love you, that’s all.”
“I’m so tired.”
“You’re more than tired lately. It’s a little concerning.”
Your sigh kisses his neck. “Well, it’s probably ‘cos of the baby, you know, they’re so… complicated to make…”
He opens his eyes. Frowns at you, forcing some space between your two bodies. “The baby.”
“‘Pparently the first twelve weeks are the tiredest.” You whine softly and curl into him. “Don’t move away, please...”
He feels like he’s been shocked. The conversation about babies as a long term couple went as follows: we’ll use protection, and if the protection fails we’ll do as you like.
Aaron, you’d said, shaking your head, We can’t just do what I want.
Genuinely and wholeheartedly, Aaron would be happy with just his Jack, and, at the same time, would adore a baby with you. So it really was up to you, knowing protection isn’t ever one hundred percent. He’d hoped he’d be more looped into that conversation when it happened, though, especially with how much has to be done, the preparations to be made, and the extra support you’re going to need.
He takes a deep breath, thinking about everything carefully. He loves you. He wants you to have a baby if you want one, and it sounds like you do. You’re tired beyond belief trying to carry one, so this conversation can wait until tomorrow.
“I’ve heard that too,” he says finally, kissing your forehead more forcefully than he means to. “You should rest as much as you can, honey.”
“You sound like you’re smiling,” you tease, tired, somehow missing the entire point.
“I love you very much, that’s all. You and Jack and… and whatever else that comes.”
—
In the morning, you wake slowly and then suddenly, your hand against his arm. He’s exhausted from a night too excited to sleep and doesn’t budge.
“Aaron…?” you ask.
“What, honey?” he asked.
“I… did I…”
He deigns to remove his face from his pillow. He finds you looking down at him nervously, so beautiful then that looking at you makes him excited all over again.
He rubs your arm. Takes your hand, pulling it to his lips to kiss your wrist. “Congratulations, honey.”
It’s your turn to be shocked, it seems. “Oh, thank you. So I did tell you?”
“You might’ve mentioned it.”
“And you’re… okay with it?”
He puts your hand to his heart, holding it gently. “I couldn’t be more in love,” he confesses.
That helps your hesitant smile on leaps and bounds. You go smiley like you’ve eaten something sugary and laughed, summoning the sweet, inescapable ache in your jaw. “You’re sure?” you ask.
He pulls you down by the cheek for a kiss.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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puppy love (but it’s cats!) part 1
max verstappen x vet!yn
fc: girls from pinterest
summary: as a Monaco native, Yn has had her fair share of encounters with F1 drivers. and as a vet, she has even fostered close relationships with some of the driver's pets. what happens when she is introduced to a single Max Verstappen who has two adorable cats?
vetyn
liked by albon_pets and 2,568 others
vetyn we had the cutest visitor today! 🐱💗
210 comments
ynbestfriend: hard at work or hardly working 🧐
vetyn: you’re just jealous i’m not crunching numbers all day 🙄
ynsfriend: can’t decide who’s cuter!
albon_pets: Dr. Yn we thought WE were the CUTEST?
vetyn: i promise YOU ARE! also some of my finest patients 🐾
albono23: now i can’t help but wonder which sibling commented this 😭😭😭
rumorhasitf1
liked by lion33, maxiellvr and 4,672 others
rumorhasitf1: 🚨 RUMOR HAS IT 🚨
Nearly 7 months after his dramatic split with his ex-girlfriend, it appears like Max is on the hunt for love 👀. Sources confirm the World Champion has recently joined the popular celebrity dating app Raya and he has been spotted out on a few dates. Is it possible we might see a new face in the RB garage soon?
531 comments
maxiellvr: lowkey i feel like he's going to end up dating who we least expect
30three: like Kendall Jenner or something 😭
rbgirl: no because when i saw that TikTok with his Raya profile I actually jumped!!!!
dutch1: sooooooooo who's gonna help a girl out and let Max know i'm free any day of the week!
vermax: no fr I wish he would do a Jeremy Fragrence type thing so I could apply to be his girlfriend 😒
verstappen4life: NOT THE JEREMY FRAGRANCE LMAODHJ
maxisfast: I never thought this day would come...@/maxverstappen1 OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU
frmlamax: yeah so, actually, he was on those dates with me sos xx
jimandsas1: hey, girly! so I know we don't know each other but...
maxstap1: dates. DATES. we all see that s at the end of DATE right? oh those lucky girls...
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vetyn’s story
translation: “new client”
twitter
vetyn
liked by lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,954 others
vetyn: joyeux anniversaire à moi 🥳 (happy anniversary to me)
it's been 6 AMAZING years of having my dream job. feeling very grateful today. can't wait to keep learning, growing and meeting adorable friends 💘
245 comments
lilymhe: LETS GOOOO YN! WE'RE ALL SUPER PROUD! (but mostly me duh)
vetyn: thank you! you're my fav! (don't tell alex pls)
alex_albon: Oh ok. Cool. We pick favorites now.
char16: now WHAT is going on in the albono house 😭
ynbestfriend: ily girl. can't wait to celebrate you this weekend 😝
liked by vetyn
alexandrasaintmleux: Félicitations, belle ❤️🔥
vetyn: merci belle 🥰
albon_pets: Thanks for everything, doc 🤓
liked by vetyn
ynfriend: so proud!
roscoelovescoco: All's My Love's Dr. YN
vetyn: Awwww thank you Roscoe, I miss ya!
russ63: NOW WHY AM I JUST FINDING OUT YN IS ROSCOE'S VET TOO????
ham1lton: omg yes. I believe he was the og f1-related client and then it was the albon pets
ynsister: love you. almost reunited 🇪🇸
liked by vetyn
rumorhasitf1
liked by maxlov3r and 5,728 others
rumorhasitf1: Looks like Max Verstappen had a wild night out celebrating his 6th win of the season in Barcelona 👀
1,034 comments
rbgirl: THAT SHOULD BE ME HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE ME MAKING YOU LAUGH THAT SHOULD BE ME THIS IS SO SAD THAT SHOULD BE MEEEEEE THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE
maxstap1: you're so quick with it LMFAO
maxlovescats: WOAH I JUST WOKE UP?????
butfirstmax: honestly i'm so happy for him go live your life king
maxisfast: is this like his frat boy era
hamstappen: I swear if they're back together and I threw that party for nothing
hamstappen: just kidding hehe
rbgirl: HELPPPPPPPPPP
vermax: rb pr team prob freaking out as we speak
30three: and Max is sleeping soundly
sluttycatdad: IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
maxielno1: okay now... doesn't that kinda look like....
justaninchident: that's what I was thinking too
username: wait who
maxielno1: his ex
maxverstappen1
liked by redbullracing, vetyn and 1,309,672 others
maxverstappen1: Barcelona, that was fun! Let's do it again?
23,672 comments
redbullracing: 🦁
rbgirl: oh trust we saw it was fun
maxisfast: 😭
maxielno1: SIMPLY LOVELY 🥰
f1fan: LETS GO CHAMP 🙌
vetyn: mega! 💙💙
maxverstappen1: 😘💙
albono33: YN?
rbgirl: idk who this is but what is happenig here....
30three: so proud of you! 🧡
verstappen4life: yes! let’s do this everytime!
vermax: great job!!!! glad you had fun 😉
martingarrix: Mate how was the club?
maxverstappen1: Pretty good 😂
f1fan: 🔥🔥🔥
somedutchguy: LEGEND
twitter
vetyn's story
to be continued..
⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩
a/n: y’all probably caught on already but this is set during the 2024 season anddddd i just wanted to do one part but tumblr is super annoying with the image limit 🙁 but lmk if you’re interested in a pt. 2! have a great day/night 🫶💐
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#f1 smau#f1 fiction#f1 2024#f1 fic#red bull racing#red bull f1#max emilian verstappen#f1 x you#f1 fandom#formulaamar#formula 1 smau#formula one imagine#charles16#forza ferrari#red bull team#red bull formula 1#charles lecrelc#x yn
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does no/low empathy mean like. emotional or cognitive empathy or can it mean either or?
#ive been trying to search online for answers for 20 minutes and i feel my brain melting#all im finding is either people explaining what empathy means#or both that and ''sometimes people have low/no empathy'' yea ok i know that im trying to find out what exactly it means#OR alternatively ''signs of low/no empathy''#which is also not what im looking for#am i just like. exceptionally stupid for not understanding what type of empathy is meant by it#bc usually when i see ppl talking of it its like. obviously not explaining what it is bc thatd b unnecessary (im not being sarcastic like i#understand)#and from context i honestly cannot tell#what confuses me here even further is that for the longest time i thought people were over exaggerating when they said they feel other#peoples emotions in like an emotional empathy way bc i didnt know that was an Actual thing#like yeah i might get sad bc a friend is sad bc i dont want them to b sad or get inspired by their good mood#or b angry on their behalf or cry at a movie#but like. hearing someone is sad and getting literally emotionally sad just because sounds fake#which is probably bc im just misunderstanding something crucial#god i miss the feeling of knowing and understanding things OR being able to search for information on things you didnt know or understand#google is nothing but ads and duckduckgo is trying its best but it cant find things i search for#i mean i still use it primarily but yknow
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