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rhodirachel · 7 years ago

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Fray | Chapter 9 | A BTS Fanfiction

Chapters

| FRAY NOTICE |

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 [END] |

Summary

What you thought was your life turned around by losing your job at a publishing company, another unexpected twist occurs as your life crosses into the fate of someone else- a boy by the name of Min Yoongi, a gang member.

Rating: M (for language only)

Words: 4822

Relationship: Min Yoongi (Suga/ Agust D) x Reader

Warnings: Explicit language, gang details, violence

“The bell tolls

And suddenly

I can’t bring myself

To let you go

Anymore.”

A brisk breeze is all that flooded the room that morning, initially setting goosebumps to your skin. You unconsciously shifted in the bed, pulling the sheets up farther as to fend yourself from the cold. Alas, you still woke up from the chill in the end. Your eyes slowly opened, greeted by the wooden attic walls you’ve grown so accustomed to at this point. The first thing you noticed was that your journal was no longer in your hand or on the bed. You immediately rose from your original position, frantically glancing around the room until they land on a particular black haired boy. A particular black haired boy that just so happened to be clutching your journal to his chest as he slept in his makeshift bed.

You begrudgingly lifted the warm sheets off of you and cautiously made your way over to the bay window where he slept, not wanting to disturb him. He really was clutching it flush against his chest; it was as if it was his last possession and someone was trying to take it away from him. You slowly held out your hand, attempting to grab the book from him without waking him. Suddenly, memory of yesterday came back to you. Yoongi had been gone all day after that nasty fight; the last thing you wanted was to wake him up and find an angry Yoongi fuming at you.

Your nose scrunched at the prospect of waking him up, yet you decide to grab the journal from him anyway. A million things rush through your head of what you want to say to him as you reach, like how much you missed him while he was gone, how scared you were that something might have happened to him. How much you were sorry for causing such a ridiculous argument between the two of you. In any case, you were hoping that you wouldn’t wake him up and have to say it to him where he’d probably be completely exhausted and annoyed.

You finally grasp the top of the book, slightly tugging it to see how tightly he really was holding the journal. It felt like he was holding onto the thing for dear life, and you slowly began to shimmy it out of his arms.

“...(Y/N)?”

You let out a squeak in surprise, letting go of the journal immediately to watch Yoongi shift his weight, slowly and steadily waking up from your own doing.

“I’m really sorry- I was just trying to grab- I’m really sorry- I just was wondering why you had it and- I’m sorry, I’ll leave you be. I’m sorry-”

“Oh my god, okay, first, you need to stop saying sorry every five seconds.”

You pressed your lips together as your heart rate sped up, crossing your arms as to hide yourself from the world as best as you could. Yoongi sat up before resting his back on the windowpane, holding the journal in his lap. Looking at him like this, all disheveled, you realized this is the first time you’d ever seen him like this since you’ve been here. You’d be lying to yourself if you denied how handsome he still looked, too. The sun shined on his hair, making the ends of the black frizz light up- creating a halo-like appearance around his hair. He was quite pale, as well, and the sun hitting his naked arms made him practically glow. You could feel a slight blush form on your face as you noticed you were staring for too long, and so you tried your best to look away from him.

He didn’t say another word more, but simply looked at you as he clutched the journal. You could feel his eyes piercing yours, giving you greater incentive not to look at the boy. Silence permeated the air as you stood there, waiting for him to say something next. Whether that be him scolding you, start arguing with you again, or dismiss you with a scoff, you weren’t sure.

Instead, you were surprised as he set the book aside and grabbed your hands. You weren’t standing too close to Yoongi, and so when he grabbed you it practically made you fall as your feet tried to keep up with your new direction. He then stood up and wrapped his arms around you, hugging you as tightly as he was holding the journal earlier. Completely bewildered, you weren’t sure how to react for a moment before you too wrapped your arms around him. The embrace felt so warm and smelled just like his sheets did- besides the slight hint of alcohol. You unconsciously wrapped your arms tighter around him, letting your head fall into the crook of his neck as you relaxed yourself in his hold.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” you murmured.

You could feel Yoongi’s chest rise and fall as he sighed, “Didn’t I tell you to stop saying sorry?”

“I know. But that doesn’t negate the fact that yesterday was all my fault.”

He rested his chin on top your head, beginning to slightly rock the both of you back and forth. It was so comforting, you felt as if you could fall asleep right there. “No, it was my fault, too. I should really be the one saying sorry.”

“Why do you smell like alcohol?” you asked, feeling Yoongi tense up at the question.

“When I stormed off, I went walking around… After a while, I just stayed at a bar for the evening, and most of the night.”

“I was really scared,” you confessed, “there you were saying how it’s dangerous for us to go out and you left all day without a trace! I asked the boys at dinner, too, if they had seen you at all and no one knew either.”

“Why would you be scared?” Yoongi scoffed, a smile creeping up on his face- even though he’d never let you see it.

You felt your heart begin to beat even faster as words you’d never even contemplated began to rise in your throat. You couldn’t help a smile from blooming on your face, but you hid yourself in the crook of his neck further so he wouldn’t see it. Scared of the things you might say if you didn’t hide at least some of the truth, you decided to be coy about it. “You know, just because the only reason I was brought here was because of events that are… peculiar… doesn’t mean that I haven’t grown to care about you guys.”

You could hear Yoongi give a soft, low hum, before lifting his head and pulling you somewhat so he could look at your face.

“I’m really sorry, about how I just stormed off like that…” he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours.

“It’s okay,” you said, it barely coming out as a whisper.

You felt Yoongi tightening around you slightly once your conversation was, for the most part, over. You blushed as you laid your head back down on his chest, not wanting to feel the embarrassment of looking at him when everything suddenly turned more intimate than ever this morning. You both said like that for a few minutes, before he slowly let go of you. He opted to take your hand instead.

“Come on, let’s go great some breakfast.”

You both walked downstairs, the aroma of breakfast becoming more and more pungent by the second. You found Jin and Jimin sitting together on the living room couch, close together and talking as if it was in hushed whispers. Namjoon and Hoseok were having a conversation at the dinner table over some breakfast, and you saw Taehyung and Jungkook messing around on what looked like a vintage NES. The atmosphere between Jin and Jimin was off putting to you, amongst the calm vibe the others were giving off in the room. You assumed they were talking to one another after what happened with the fight from dinner, and you guessed it looked like you were about to walk over there when Taehyung suddenly popped up in front of you, eyes wide with worry but faking a warm welcoming.

“Good morning, (Y/N)!” he smiled, shaking his head and hand to signal that it probably wasn’t a good idea to go over there right now.

“Good morning,” you smiled, nodding in acknowledgment. Taehyung suddenly calmed down, giving you a reassured smile. Once Yoongi had walked around you and into the kitchen, you grabbed Taehyung’s hand before he could go back to his game with Jungkook.

“Hey, actually”, you said, a sad smile forming on your face, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Taehyung raised a brow in worry before quickly nodding his head, letting you lead him over to where the foyer was- away from the other members. After the whole scene that broke out last night, you had to know what really was behind all those words.

“When I first came here, Namjoon had told me about you guys and how you ended up here. He didn’t tell me everything about all of you, obviously; he didn’t even tell me the stories about all of you. Only Jin, you, and Jimin. But I do remember some of the things he said. Taehyung… What the hell was that last night? What happened?”

There was complete worry written all over your face as you heard Jin’s words from yesterday replay over and over into your mind, and you think Taehyung sensed your worry. Immediately he put his hands on your shoulders, letting them fall down to rub your arms reassuringly.

“(Y/N), don’t worry about it at all. We all have times like this. Jimin’s… he’s… he’s just a lot worse than us,” he said, bearing a sad smile.

“Me and Jimin, well… I can’t remember much of what happened to me. Jimin remembers it all, though. Jimin told me that I was probably drugged, that the reason why I couldn’t remember anything was because of that. I always felt bad because he specifically said ‘me’, like he wasn’t. Like he had to witness all of it. It makes me sick to my stomach,” he began to whisper, his demeanor slipping as he spoke.

“I promised I’d always be there for him, and I will, but he breaks down occasionally nonetheless. It’s so hard seeing him like that, when you know you can’t do anything,” he said. His eyes had already left yours, staring at the ground now- completely void of anything. “All you have to do is hold him… and wait… just wait…”

“T-Taehyung?”

He perked up as you called his name, breaking out of his trance. “Oh, I’m really sorry…”

“No, it’s okay,” you breathed. You didn’t want to tell him the truth and make him feel bad, but seeing someone cheery like Taehyung suddenly turn on a dime like that was more than unsettling.

“Okay,” he smiled cheekily.

“Hey, also I’m sorry, about Jin…” you mumbled. “It wasn’t right, what he said.”

“It’s okay,” Taehyung shrugged. “Like I said, we all have our moments.”

You nodded your head, and Taehyung let his hands slip from your shoulders, going back to play games with Jungkook. As you turned around, you could see Jungkook’s eyes watching you walk into the kitchen, noticing his perplexed expression. After searching every cabinet and crevice for something to eat, you settled on a box of cereal and sat down next to Yoongi at the dining table when Namjoon stood to leave.

Jin had already moved from the couch and into the kitchen, where he was eating his breakfast. He watched with confused eyes as Namjoon tried to quietly beeline for the foyer, leaving the house. He put his spoon of cereal down as he asked, “Where are you heading to? It’s like… ten in the morning.”

On the inside you chuckled somewhat at his statement, no matter how normal it sounded to the others. In the gang house, it was normal for a ten a.m. wake up to be extremely early to the brothers. They would wake up like that usually to relax for a little bit and fix up the house, especially since it was such an old one at that. However, all their real work took place at night, in the dark streets a normal person would suggest you never walk down. No, it definitely wasn’t the average “nine-to-five” lifestyle.

Despite how funny it was to you, though, you could tell Jin was quite confused- and Namjoon looked like he was a deer-in-headlights, quizzically so.

“Oh, I just-” Namjoon’s voice cracked, but he quickly attempted to cover it up by clearing his throat. “I just have some errands to do, that’s all. Need anything while I’m out?”

Jin raised an eyebrow, but shrugged it off anyway. “Sure, actually. Can we get some more vegetables in the house? After making that bibimbap, we’re out. Also some fruits. Can you maybe get some plums? I want to try something out for the next dinner.” “Sure thing,” Namjoon said. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

Everyone at the table nodded their head in response as you all heard the storm door shut, signaling that Namjoon was gone.

“Really, Namjoon,” Jin deadpanned. “That boy can’t even close the actual front door?”

Jin finished his breakfast and went off to lock up the house, leaving just Yoongi and you at the table. It was silent for a little bit, just the two of you eating breakfast amongst the noise coming from the living room. You looked over to see Taehyung in complete despair, supposedly because Jungkook was beating him at whatever they were both playing. You had been wanting to ask Yoongi something all morning, but you weren't quite sure if it would be okay to ask. You decided to anyway, looking over to see Yoongi deep in thought.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

A moment of silence wafts in the air between the two of you as you almost back out of asking your question.

“Yoongi, why did you have my journal?”

He tensed up immediately, although you were unsure why. “I, well… I came back last night really drunk, and I saw you laying there with your fingers acting like a bookmark in the journal. I just wanted to see what you had written.”

“I don't know… you were just so calm, laying there in bed. Like nothing else mattered but the dreams you were having. But amongst all that, you still had the page bookmarked. I thought there was meaning to that.”

What he said made you slightly embarrassed, and you didn’t know how to react. A wave of silence seeped through the kitchen before he spoke up again. “The poem was good, by the way. It was… really good.”

You perked up at what he had said, having caught yourself staring at the ground as he spoke. “Really? You liked it?”

“Yeah,” he said, a smile forming on his face. It was different though; melancholic.

You gave a small smile back. “Thanks.”

You both finished your breakfast and made way to the couch, deciding to watch Jungkook and Taehyung play their games. You had been watching for a couple of hours now, and you’d have to admit, as well… Jungkook was really good. Either that or Taehyung was really bad and that’s why he was frustrated earlier. A thunderous noise broke throughout the whole floor of the house suddenly, with Taehyung and Jungkook abruptly play-fighting.Taehyung was seemingly more upset than Jungkook, who laid there on the ground laughing as the other was kicking his legs.

“Hyung, hyung, stop!” Jungkook giggled, pulling Taehyung by his arms to throw him on the ground as well.

You laughed as you watched them, turning around, however, to look at Yoongi. He was also looking at the boys in the living room, a gummy smile plastered on his face. You wanted to resume the conversation you both were having in the morning, curious by Yoongi’s interest in your writing.

“Hey, about my poem… you said you really liked it?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Have you ever written anything before yourself?”

All of a sudden, Yoongi turned quite sheepish towards your question. You smiled as you could begin to see his cheeks turning somewhat pinkish. He played with his thumbs as he mumbled, “Yes, but nothing like what you write.”

Your eyes lit up in passion, though, excited after finding out he also wrote. “What type of stuff do you write?”

“Um, well, I write music.”

Your eyes widened, as did your smile. “You do? Oh my gosh, Yoongi, that’s… that’s amazing. What do you usually write about?”

“Hey, guys? I’m sorry to interrupt but has Namjoon come back at all?”

You both looked up to see Jin standing in front of you guys, clearly a displeased look on his face.

“I was just cleaning around the house, but its been hours now and he still hasn’t come back. I mean,” Jin scoffed, shifting his weight on one leg, “we never go out like this. All of a sudden though,” he says, waving his arms around, “Namjoon’s been doing it all the fucking time. Doesn’t he know how dangerous that shit is?”

You hummed in response as Yoongi chimed in. “Okay, but why do you seem so antsy about it?”

Jin paused, frustrated. “I don’t know, it’s just… it just makes me suspicious. Why is he doing this all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know, man,” Yoongi dismissed.

“You are literally such an ass,” Jin scoffed before leaving the room.

With Jin gone, it was now or never for you to ask the questions you were wanting to earlier- before Yoongi got too clammed up about it. “So, anyway, what do you write about?”

“Uh,” he stammered, “just lyrics about my life and all. I, um, I like to rap, so.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Do you play any instruments? You know, to accompany the music that is.”

“Yeah, actually,” he said, a smile forming on his face at the thought. “I actually play the piano. It’s always been my favourite instrument; we even have one here. I found it at a garage sale a long, long time ago. It was messed up a bit, and I had to go buy some piano tuners, but eventually I had her working as good as new. She’s in the closet, actually, just over here,” he gestured to the other side of the living room. “I can teach you sometime, if you’d like.”

“Sure,” you smiled. “I’d really like that. Maybe I can hear your music sometime?”

You saw his cheeks blush a bit further at the prospect. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” he whispered back.

“Guys! Guys, come here!”

Jungkook and Taehyung get up from where they were sitting, as did you and Yoongi. Taehyung called up the stairs for Jimin to come into the living room, and you suddenly heard the swift sound of feet running downstairs. Jin’s yelling had come from Namjoon’s bedroom, and you all had walked over there to see what he was yelling about.

“Jin, why are you in Namjoon’s room?” Taehyung asked.

“Because of this,” he deadpanned.

Inside Jin’s was a box of yellow manila folders, among various things. He looked so infuriated that he could punch someone, and suddenly you remembered everything that had happened last night. If that sort of fight could break out between him and Jimin when he was that mad, what was going to happen when Namjoon came home?

“Everyone out of the room,” he muttered, carrying the box. “Let’s all go sit at the table. You need to see this.”

Doing as Jin said, everyone grabbed their chairs and sat around the table. You sat next to Yoongi, eyeing him worriedly because of how Jin was acting. He looked at you and tried to give you a smile, as if to reassure you, but you knew that he was just as confused as you were.

Jin slammed the box on the table and immediately began pulling things out. Folder after folder, map after map, file after file. He opened them all up, sliding them towards all of us.

“Look at these, they’re files of us,” Hoseok murmured, squinting at the pages in displeasure.

“Oh, there’s more than that,” Jin laughed angrily. He began pulling open the maps, only to reveal lines that looked to be dividing territory. After that, he pulled out a file that had various papers on the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency. Inside, you all saw papers upon papers of recorded conversations.

“He’s been meeting with the police. That’s where Namjoon has been.”

“What do you mean ‘where have I been?’”

You could hear the house door close as Namjoon stepped inside, although none of you could see him since he was still in the foyer. As he walked inside the kitchen, though, all color left his face as he saw the papers on the table.

“Guys, guys look- I can explain-”

“Explain what,” Jin screamed, “how you’ve fucking betrayed us and have been working with the police? How the fuck can you explain this, Namjoon!”

You looked around the table in horror. Namjoon was simply standing there, stuttering on his words as Jin mindlessly screamed at him. All of it became so overwhelming that you couldn’t hear what he was saying anymore. As you did look around, you saw Jungkook’s face wide with shock, as well as Yoongi’s. Hoseok looked completely void, almost with disgust. As if he was nothing more than disappointed. Jimin, on the other hand, was staring at the table in a panic, tears streaming down his face while his hands shook. Taehyung, though, had suddenly gotten up from his chair, beginning to scream along with Jin at Namjoon.

Before anyone could react, Hoseok reached for the nearest object- a glass bowl- and slammed it down onto the ground. It shattered everywhere and everyone grew silent, looking over to Hoseok in shock. Usually he was the most relaxed in the group, as you had come to realise over the span of your staying here.

“Just let Namjoon fucking talk already,” his voice quite before he grew louder and louder, “all you guys have been doing is fucking yelling at him! Can’t you see he’s been trying to fucking say something?”

Everyone quieted down after hearing Hoseok, quite enough that you could hear Namjoon let out the breath he was apparently holding.

“Okay, please, just listen to me explain. Yes, I’ve been working with the police. Listen to why.”

“The reason why I’ve been working with the police is because we all have solid evidence against CHAN, and there are specific officers in the agency that want to help eliminate them as a threat. I’ve been working with them because, guys, we’re not idiots. We know we can’t take down CHAN ourselves. We just can’t do it. We need someone by our side, and that’s the police. Obviously CHAN can’t go to the police to get us because they’d get in extreme trouble before they even got to us. We’ve done nothing to the caliber that CHAN is at. While they think that we can’t go to the police because we’re just another gang, I’ve been able to negotiate amnesty with one of the officers there. It’s already recorded in the case. Because of our compliance, we’re not going to be charged for the things that we’ve done. But we have to help them. We all can testify, but the most important person in this room right now is (Y/N). It’s been years since all of this has happened to us, which means that there’s little evidence. We have evidence, though, against CHAN in (Y/N)’s situation.”

“I just…” Namjoon said, “I didn’t want to tell you guys until later because I know that we’ve been trying to avoid the police for so long. Everything would be different, if I had told you too soon.”

A million things were rushing through your head as you saw everyone slowly start to calm down, to process everything. You, on the other hand, were infuriated.

“So, you’re telling me the reason why you have been keeping me here isn’t because you needed to know I wouldn’t say anything, but because you actually wanted to use me in court? To do the exact opposite?”

Silence filled the room as each of the other boys processed the predicament you were in. Until now, everyone else but Namjoon thought the same as you- that you were here to prove you wouldn’t say anything. Apparently, though, that wasn’t the case.

“I mean,” Namjoon stuttered, “yes, (Y/N), but-”

“No!” you yelled, standing up from your chair. Your heart palpitated faster and faster by the second, your blood boiling as your eyes began to tear up. “You took me away from my life! I have a life to live, friends, a story- and you took that all away so you could use me for your own gain to avenge yourselves. How could you do something like that! How could you lie to me! I have done nothing but be kind, after all of these circumstances!”

Your throat was left raw after your tyrade, suddenly realizing you were screaming at the top of your lungs. “And what about letting me go, huh? Why not just asking if I would testify and let me go back to my life!” you screamed once more.

Namjoon’s face was stoic, seeming to be void of any remorse for you. “I couldn’t let you go back because CHAN would have found you. We wouldn’t have had our testimony then.”

Your jaw clenched as you nodded your head and turned it away, refusing to look at him as tears fell down your face. “Ah, because that’s all I was. A testimony for you all. After spending all this time with you, getting to know each and every one of you, in the end… that’s all I was.”

There wasn’t another word uttered after that. Everyone shifted uncomfortably, but you could feel a pair of eyes on you that never faltered. Everything, this room- the boys- everything- it was all too much. You abruptly ran up the stairs as fast as you could, hoping that no one would follow you.

You were out of breath by how hard you pushed yourself to sprint up the numerous stairs, but when you did get to the attic you immediately shut it and locked it. You rested your back against the door, sliding down it until you were sitting on the wooden floorboard. Every intensity of despair and disdain hit you, forming themselves into tears as you sobbed.

What were you going to do now? The question haunted your mind as enough timed passed for you to stop your crying. Everything had changed now, and you seemed so overwhelmed and confused that you felt like you were going to throw up.

The loud thud that had sounded through the attic door suddenly startled you, immediately bringing you to your feet. You hear someone begin to pound on the door fervently, and you wouldn’t have had to have heard his voice to immediately tell who it was.

“(Y/N)... (Y/N) please listen to me. Are you there? You have to be… You gotta be…”

Your lip trembled as you sat on the bay window seat, where Yoongi usually slept as you heard his voice coming through the door.

“Listen to me. Don’t listen to Namjoon. God, what I said to you the first day we met wasn’t true. You never had a debt to pay, and don’t think you’re here because we need you for court. Namjoon wants you for the testimony. I…”

“I don’t want you to go, (Y/N).”

That’s all it took for you to start crying again, listening to his wrecked voice on the other side. “I don’t want you to go. You’re right… After all this time you had gotten to know each and every one of us. And I’m so glad I got to know you, (Y/N), I’m so glad… I don’t want you to go…”

You could hear him sit with a thud on the other side of the door before the words came through like a whisper, “Please don’t go.”

Your tears quickly turned into sobs as you hunched over in pain. Everything hurt too much. After all this time, you had gotten to know Yoongi, and you cared about him. But how could you leave without letting go?

You sat there like that for a while, knowing Yoongi was waiting patiently for you on the other side. What he didn’t hear, however, was the bay window opening as you stepped outside and onto the fire escape, hoping you made the right choice.

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