#yeah keep ranting

[biologyologyy]

I fuckinf hate my mom

She still will not acknowledge my head pain as a migraine. I’ve had a headache EVERY DAY for the past 10 DAYS. How is that not considered a migraine???? And it lasts all day. If I take tylenol the pain leaves for like 3-4 hours but it just comes back and doesn’t go away. How. Is. That. Not. A. Migraine?

[mugwot]

funnyjokespunperson

[weirdglassthing]

LOA Shiptober Day 4: How They Met

October content month was ambitious..

This one took me. Shockingly long. Whoops! I’ll probably end up jumping around the prompt list and it might extend into November 😋

I’ll try to do day 31 on the actual date of Halloween though 🫡

[ratatatastic]

vanha kauppahalli date but the dessert edition aka the more enjoyable edition if not because sasha has a sweet tooth so we can like these foods freely

sasha in the midst of eating merengue and almost choking to death because he thinks any comment out of maffhews mouth is funny maffhew sweetheart we have to think about the effect we have on the people around us for a single second here

[ganondoodle]

made this for twitter since most people here that engage with my totk rants are the like-minded people my rants are intended for but i thought its kinda funny too and maybe it clears something up for anyone potentionally confused why i rant so much about it

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[pachnychnyszek]

insane Australian postmaster outside storage room window. normal Tuesday evening in hermitcraft server.

Drawn during Skizz's last (20-2-2024) stream!

[dlldior]

i cannot begin to tell you guys how much i hate this charles grey fucker and his ugly face and ugly hair someone fire his barber. why is he always here. can he fuck off for once with his annoying ass chipmunk voice and his annoying ass chipmunk face.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I still find it odd that some people get mad when you make the CoD characters cry in fics or hc because it’s like have you ever gotten close to a real life man before?

Sure, there’s the social standards that say men don’t cry (which is outdated and rooted in misogyny, sexism, and patriarchy bullshit btw) and that they shouldn’t but have you ever met a man irl before?

My dad cries. Not often, but he sobbed when we had to put my two elderly cats down, he cried when I went to university , actually he cried when all of my sisters went too. He cried when my uncle, his brother, died and any time I comforted him about it he would get choked up.

My brother in law has cried in front of me before when he lost friendships (no deaths but it was a bad friendship break up)

My old friend cried because of a break up he had and because of his horrible family situation…in class around other people

My point is, are the cod men going to cry at every little thing? No, but they’re human and if they care about those around them, and have personalities (which they do) when something happens, when something goes wrong and they break down they’re going to cry

So make them cry more in your fics not only for the realistic aspect but also so people stop being weird about men crying

[bigmammallama5]

My parents bought their 4 bed 3.5 bath house 32 years ago for $145,000 (originally $200,000). This summer a similar house a block away (similar age, 4 bed 3.5 bath, slightly smaller lot) went up for $800,000. It's since been reduced to $650,000 and they put some more work into it, but it's still on the market. I know interest and investment and overall cost of living raise prices, but that just seems like highway robbery to me.

[deoidesign]

Wait wait wait, I saw in your tags that's Time and Time Again is ending soon? But I've only just found it! (through the animation you did, it and your comic are so well done)

Ah, yeah.

So by "soon" I really mean "sooner than I think I would like" and it feels much sooner to me as the writer than I think it will to you all as the readers.

But, Time and Time Again is pretty much exactly 2/3 of the way through right now. Webtoon gave me the end date before I even finished my first season, and I've been trying to fit in all the things I wanted to get into the story before it ends...

It's why my hiatus has been taking so long, I'm trying to write to get as many moments and as much development as I possibly can, with really limited time! And... also admittedly to prolong how much longer it's sort of "around" in my life.

Because I know once it is over, I'll move on to the next comic! and 3 years just doesn't feel long enough to have Adam and Steve in my life haha

But, yeah. it's getting "close" in a way that it's starting to make me sad. like this time next year it'll probably be over.

It's okay of course, it's the nature of stories that they will end. I'm working really hard to make it satisfying despite Everything, and I'm really proud of everything I've done so far.

And my next comic will be even better for what I've learned here!

So, sorry to everyone, but I promise I'm gonna make it worth it.

[biologyologyy]

I don’t know why I stay up untl I am painfully tired

[mvrdermeharder]

Kaiser-goal analysis Part 3: Magnus

This is the final part of my analysis that started out with me trying to make sense of the Kaiser’s goal celebrations, and why they differ from other strikers’. I highly recommend you to read part 1 and part 2 before reading this. Or, at least checking out part 1, if you don’t have that much time

[Tagging u again @pixie05love and @fyeahkainess]

The leadup:

I had left it off with how Kaiser is utterly irrational now, emotions clouding his judgement. This has never occurred to this extreme before, even though he’s been fixating on Isagi for a while now. What I find interesting is that Ness actually comments on Kaiser’s strange and irrational play, and how it doesn’t benefit him. I think this is the first time that Ness has dared to propose an idea or tried to take control in any way.

Kaiser does not give a shit about Ness’ suggestions however: because of his miskick, his offer from real is on the line too. He is feeling it more than ever, the threat of having nothing to his name, of becoming inhuman again. So then he throws it all away, and accepts that he is a “piece of shit”. Discovers his one true ego, his one true desire: to be loved.

(I’m sorry, I’m aware this was me re-narrating the story and what everyone already knows, but it’s very important to be on the same page for the continuation)

Another small thing that I just can’t fit anywhere else: now that Kaiser is playing with cool rationality again, it’s Ness who makes emotional, and desperate plays. But Kaiser now sees that unless the conditions are met for his weapon, it is not worth risking another failure.

Symbolism for love: the moon, the ball, the goal

There is a strong visual connection between Kaiser’s confession to the moon about how he wishes to be loved, and the ball, which will help him accomplish this desire. Look at the placement of the moon and the ball: they are in the same place in their respective panels, and they are (almost) of the same size as well.

And in the panel above, it looks like the ball in motion doesn’t have any details. It resembles the moon. The thing that Kaiser reaches up to, as if it could help him accomplish his desire to be loved. It looks like the “moon” is the ball, but it is not stationary anymore, it’s moving towards the goal, helping Kaiser accomplish his wish.

The act of scoring a goal is aiming for love and receiving it. For now, it’s the only way Kaiser thinks he can be loved, as it is said out loud later in ch 279.

Celebration

There is an astronomical difference here: directly contrasting the first goal celebration, instead of Kaiser leaning down into the shadows, he is engulfed by light. This light comes from upwards, and ONLY illuminates Kaiser, the background is black otherwise -> darkness ~ night, light ~ moonlight.

He is reaching up for the moon again. Just like in his childhood, he’s reaching up for love.

And he has acquired it for now with this goal. He closes his fist here, he has gotten a grab of the moon, of the love, all thanks to this goal. He looks much more uncomposed in this pose than he ever has so far. It’s cathartic, full of satisfaction and self-fulfillment as he’d acquired his one true wish in that moment.

He’s also not looking for the other players’ reaction. Causing pain and taking pleasure in it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s not the root of his ego. He does not celebrate with sadism any longer, instead he is totally focused on himself, head tipped towards the ground, standing in a pose that is simultaneously solitary and beautiful.

And he doesn’t even face us, the readers either. Nomura and Kaneshiro are indicating that the celebration is solely for Kaiser to have: no one else can get close to observe his celebration, his expressions, and his emotions.

Vines and Ego

Another thing that solidifies how he has found his true ego are the vines. Prior to this, they had been colored white (or green or whatever) … the point is that they are now darker. They look solid, unbreakable. Before - just like his glass chain on the cover for volume 19 – the white vines appear snappable, like you could cut right through them if you tried hard enough: visually indicating his fragile ego. Now they look thornier than ever, stronger, more resistant. Like no one could break his desire to aim for love, his newfound ego.

But what I find interesting is that the black vines do not appear when he’s first changing his playstyle and throwing himself into restriction. They are still white, which clearly indicate that this new mentality is not the right one either: him perceiving himself as a piece of shit who can only live in restriction, is just as a fragile of a mentality is as the one he’d had before (his desire live on as a scar inside others). Even when he prepares to shoot the ball the vines stay white.

They only turn black AS he kicks the ball and as he remembers what he longs for the most = love. After the flashback we can literally see the vines turn gradually darker and stronger.

After his goal, he revels in “attaining a bit of love”, so the vines stay black for a while.

However, in ch 279, as Kaiser gets the foundation of his existence wrong again (“I can only live by hurting others”) the vines are white as he’s aiming to shoot. They are only dark when the ball is not in his control anymore: when it’s on its own way to the goal = on its way to fulfill Kaiser’s wish for love.

And in ch 283 they are white again… and I’ll be honest, it’s quite difficult to figure out what it could mean. Maybe that after ch 279 Kaiser is pushing himself into the wrong mentality again…? This masochistic view of himself, about how he’s a piece of shit who can never be loved and can only hurt others… how he always SHOULD yearn for love when trying to score a goal, but he can never gain love outside of football.

(At least this is how I personally interpret the inconsistent coloring of the vines…)

Also, a sidenote: as I’ve tried to analyze how the moon symbolizes stuff and how it holds so much importance regarding Kaiser’s story… plus how he wants to gain love through scoring but doesn’t view himself as someone deserving of it outside the pitch… yk what this reminded me of? MICK MOON’S STORY

Yeah…

If you follow me, you will never escape the “Kaiser might end up like Mick Moon” theory.

Interactions with Ness

So, Ness did not assist for the Magnus goal, however he is still happy for Kaiser (“at some point his dreams became mine” + kaiser’s manipulative love-bombing after the goals). So he approaches him, even though Kaiser is keeping his back to him again, instead of being affectionate.

So when Kaiser turns to him over his shoulder we can get a brief look at his eyes: and to me, they look full of pity and sadness…

After that though, he directly turns to Ness to acknowledge him but ultimately breaks things off. And this is important: Ness has a clear view of his face, of his eyes, emotions, all of that. But we readers do not. We can’t see his expressions because it doesn’t matter what Kaiser is feeling while speaking and cutting Ness off. It doesn’t matter whether his face is emotionless, sad, pitying, full of regret…

Because it doesn’t fucking matter FOR NESS. Only the outcome, the words, the results of Kaiser’s words does: that Ness is not needed anymore.

Which implies that this scene's protagonist is NOT Kaiser. It’s Ness. So, it’s fair to assume that he’s going to get a lot of development eventually, because of how this scene’s been constructed specifically around him.

And later on, we’re still seeing Ness chasing after the affection that Kaiser usually gives him as a reward, really just confirming my theory about Kaiser love-bombing him intentionally. Ness has been treated this way FOR YEARS, his only connection is Kaiser, his dreams literally depend on him… of course he isn’t just going to give up all that. Of course he still tries to stick to Kaiser, as he does not know how to play football otherwise (and how to exist otherwise…)

(I’ve always found it a bit strange that some ppl were just expecting Ness to immediately side with Isagi, get revenge on Kaiser, or to just get over him during this match… Ness had been manipulated to stay by Kaiser’s side for a looooong while, there is no way he can realistically find himself again that quickly)

Interactions with Isagi

Directly contrasting his break-up with Ness, we see Kaiser’s face more clearly than ever: it is not covered by his hair, as he’s intentionally pushing it out of the way to FULLY face Isagi, and his eyes are totally open here instead of his usual half-lidded look (I’m referring to the panel to the right).

And this scene not only contrasts with how he interacts with Ness, but it’s also a 180 when we consider his past interactions with Isagi. In my first part, I’ve mentioned how he has either kept his back to him (only turning to belittle), or how after the bicycle kick goal, he looks at Isagi from afar, not bothering to talk to him. He looks at him from underneath his fringe, as he’s trying to cover his frustrations and expressions with his hair.

But now he acknowledges, respects and understands Isagi’s strengths. After all, it is the thing that has catapulted his evolution to score the Magnus.

This respect shows in the way that he doesn’t actually touch Isagi during this new confrontation. They are finally standing eye to eye, challenging each other without trying to belittle through physical contact.

And on a larger scheme, this indicates how he’s able to face a challenge head on now: with respect for his opponents, and the will to aim higher than he is now.

. . .

Whew okay, i'm finally done.

First of all, I'm very sorry that I'm posting this so much later than I had promised. Truth is, I was kind of afraid to start writing this, bc there are already a lot of great posts analyzing this goal specifically...

But if you've read down this far, i truly love you in the least parasocial way possible. Honestly.

[formereldestdaughter]

ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....

This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.

I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?

(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)

I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.

Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.

And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it��� causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.

I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.

(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)

I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.

We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.

On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??

So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.

It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.

Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).

But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.

Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?

Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?

[triglycercule]

less of horrordust eating face and killer watches more of them mauling eachother. also killer watches

[total-drama-brainrot]

TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽

Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.

I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.

Area 51:

Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.

I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.

When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.

Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.

The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.

Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.

Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained. (i.e. truth potion.)

Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.

Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.

Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?

Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.

Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.

The Jet:

Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.

Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.

Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.

"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.

Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.

"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."

Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.

"Does that mean you don't like Al?"

"I never said that."

"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"

Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.

"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.

"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."

Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.

He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?

"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."

And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?

The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.

"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"

What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!

Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.

Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.