#yeah im not ok who am i kidding
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kurosagi-h8r · 9 days ago
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Is he competing with Jin for the most SSR cards or what 😭😭
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gutsfics · 2 months ago
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FINALLY I DRAW SOMETHING!!!!!!!
some Joseph, both young (around 1980 i'd say, when he was traveling w Stan a few years before the portal incident) and old (~2017, now an art teacher at Westchester High). i like to think the first one is a picture Stan took of him while they were traveling and the second one is his staff photo at WH. the more things change the more they stay the same. i might give em backgrounds and foregrounds to look like that
he's had that jacket since the 70s. real leather will last you.
no glasses alts + the first sketch below
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#[holding him in my hands like a tiny baby bird]#idk if hes hiding something on his neck. he might be. those neck covers just happened. probably less embarrassing than Ford's tattoos thoug#also im not super interested in “what if Stan had a romance partner who helped him run the shack” type Stan/oc buuuuuuuut#unfortunately i am not immune to old man yaoi and have been thinking “ok BUT what if Jojo helped Stan run the shack” during this rewatch#i think theyre not super open about their relationship so Dipper & Mabel have no idea until the manotaur ep when Mabel realizes “woah......#“Grunkle Stan do you have a crush on Grunkle Jojo???”#[Joseph so called Grunkle Jojo bc “we've known each other long enough hes basically family”]#anyway Mabel tries to “fix Stan up” to help him ask him out & Jojo is fully aware its happening and says nothing bc Funny#they do tell her and Dipper at the end of the day bc since she went through all that trouble trying to set em up they should know#plus kids these days tend to be a lot nicer about gay people sometimes#also good: Jojo giving Stan A Look every time he's shitty or sexist but otherwise not caring about any other morally dubious/bad thing#like Jojo can excuse regular tax fraud/stealing/scamming people but he draws the line at almost getting Waddles eaten by a dinosaur#hes the worlds most “not my circus not my monkeys” moral compass#hes said that before. and Dipper points out that it IS his circus bc he helps run the shack#to which he responds “hah. yeah :)” bc he helps do the fraud and scams <3#fuck i have to draw that as a comic or fake screenshots or something#anyway im not planning on focusing on a Mr's Mysteries AU but i may talk about it occasionally#ANYWAY ANYWAY i wanna talk about him i love talking about him send some asks let me talk about him <3#oc: Joseph van Dyke
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definitelynotnia · 8 months ago
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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ninawolv3rina · 5 months ago
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"Oh I went to high-school with Trent Reznor and he was a bit of a weird hyper-artistic nerd" and just like that I've learned nothing new about Trent Reznor
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nightmare8-420 · 1 month ago
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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vanweezer · 17 days ago
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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jeremiahthefroge · 4 months ago
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yeah ok so I caved. Lit up another bowl, opened a new folder on my Obsidian vault, and I'm gonna rewatch the minecraft diaries and I'm going to take detailed notes on everything plot related I can, separated episode by episode, make observations, and then create a little personal wikipedia of my interpretations of the characters as they appear on the show.
I just did episode one to do what is essentially a "am I capable of watching this" test (I feared since it was 2016 youtube that I was into in the year 2016, a historically terrible year for me, that I would have some HEAVILY BIASED ideas on the quality of this show, and that if I rewatched I would ruin it for myself) and I honestly didn't have too hard of a time with the youtube of it all. Cringe is and has been dead, and I'm looking at this like a fun little excercise in studying how this piece of media tells the story it tells.
Speaking of, I find it so interesting how the machinima of Zenix and Garroth kicks us off and we then have Aphmau speaking as like... a comentary youtuber. The machinima sets up a plot that isn't even hinted more at in the episode, too, but I can see the first 10 or whatever episodes having all been recorded in 1 batch all at once and then cut up. I don't recall how characterized Aphmau gets in this whole thing.
And also I find Aphmau doing the voices for Garroth and Zenix so unironically fun and endears me to the series. Idk why but it made me smile!
I'll probably liveblog more of this experience bc I'm incapable of keeping my mouth shut.
#mcd#minecraft diaries#jeremiahs mcd notes#yeah sure#thats a tag now#ill keep track of it#fuck it#lmfao cringe is dead and i need something to do this summer other than fucking work#and also im like kinda studying this in an academic way so im just gonna ride this one out boys#If this becomes a video essay I make someday I called it now ok#I have always deeply desired to be a video essayist in theory but never felt like there was anything i cared enough about#or felt like id be unique enough in studying to discuss#like i love the works of hbomberguy who makes video essays on pretty specific topics#making new original observations#and i felt like i wouldnt be able to do that for anything “worth” covering#but this was a huge social phenomenon that i was part of that i loved#and now we're all grown up#those kids that watched along#and now some of us really like to study the impacts and implications of art created in social/public spaces#like youtube series#listen dude I am obsessed with the dsmp as a social phenomenon#not particularly the content involved as much bc i just don't really like the style of creators#but the way it came about and evolved was so very interesting to me as somebody who likes to analyze the contexts#social historical political etc#of any given media i consume or that gets popular#here i am also interested in the content bc of my childhood love for it#and my inherent nostalgia#but i also am fascinated in the way the youtube space effected the growth of this series#its a whole thing guys#and i would love to document this set of factors that fascinate me in a really long fucking vieo
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c0smiccom3t · 2 years ago
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Ladies, gents and everyone in between with whatever gender you are,
My current hyperfixations.
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Current Blorbo i love so much and also who i'm rooting for:
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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current favorite thing about Psych: Shawn and his on-again off-again unofficial sometimes boyfriend Despereaux
#watching the art theft episode and man#shawn is just so bbg around despereaux its hysterical#ok psych reboot ft. things id change#uhhh id make it canon that shawn and despereaux fucked thanks for coming to my ted talk-#despereaux does Anything and shawn is all sparkly eyes amazed heart emoticons-#no no ok ok this is the dynamic in my head#yeah they fucked but despereaux was soooo over it once they parted ways#but shawn is like. That clingy guy after a one night stand who thinks that Had Something#yk? am i making sense? its almost 5 am i wanted to be asleep two hours ago#absolutely unprompted#LMAO DESPEREAUX JUST FAKED GETTING BLOWN UPPPPP#shawn is Devastated lmaoooooo#i love how they're all like 'spencer im sorry for your loss' LIKKEEEEEE cmon this shit writes itself#OMGGGG LMAO DESPEREAUX LEFT SHAWN MOST OF HIS STUFF IN THE WILL READINGGGGGG#'shawn was despereaux's only Male friend' okkkkkk ok ok ok#LMAOOO SHAWN IS DOING THE MANIC 'hes not dead!!!' THEORY THNGGGGGG#yes bby follow that hunch. be insane over this. get that art thief dick#'death by diabetes. i kid! he exploded' NEW FAVORITE QUOTE woody you are an Icon#nooo bs this is literally the fruitiest shawn has ever been and he has been Fruity on this show#cary elwes has chemistry with Everyone i stg#'i am giving this speech To Him' (shawn about the eulogy) mannnnnn MANNNNNNN#SHAWN IS DELUSIONAL <3 I LOVE THIS EPISODE ITS EVERYTHING#his. his first name is pierre. LMAO#SHAWN IS HAVING A PUBLIC BREAKDOWNNNNNNN#sorry sorry i love this show. its so stupid its great
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autism-corner · 7 months ago
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forgor that drawing takes like. effort.
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hatakecantaloupe · 2 years ago
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Im fucking pissed right now so I thought 'what was the best thing to calm my fucking nerves than some Kakashi and his ninken appreciation post?' So here it is:
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perenlop · 2 years ago
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havent read tbc but i think its so funny how shadowsight seems to be popular to the people i follow just because “the narrative treats him like all the female characters do so hes an honorary girlie”
#and by ''how the narrative treats him'' they mean badly ofc bc apparently everything is blamed on him repeatedly#w no one realizing that he was manipulated and the narrative being retconned just to say hes actually a screwup who was never good#and everything genuinely is his fault bc why else would he listen to an evil cat in starclan#like. damn that really is something theyd do to a female protagonist#also the only ppl ive seen hating on him do it for boring and stupid reasons so im inclined to like him out of spite#bc ''he has an ILLEGAL name in this universe. hes a TIGERDOVE kid. hes a FANFICTION made REAL'' ok well hes the most interesting one. so.#not like anything he actually does in the narrative it seems. plus the other two protags sound boring as hell#''oh im sad i couldnt get w the boy i like. now i love another guy but its forbidden. oh and my leaders possessed ig.''#''SIGH i wish people didnt compare me to my cringe OUTSIDER dad. also i see ghosts and i hate this its cringe''#''also my sister is a legacy name after an important character from the previous arc but who cares''#and then shadowsight is like ''since i was an infant i had excruiciating seizures and visions. i threw myself into a river as a sacrifice#i am suicidal. i got manipulated by an evil man into possessing my great uncle. everyone outwardly wants me dead for it#everyone blames all of their problems on me and expects a lot from me. i got demoted for it. my only support is my close family#and even then they have to suffer the extreme guilt of not being able to help me with literally anything#also the antagonist wants my mom dead for my own existence. i have lost so much#i am literally blamed by god for everything thats happened to be despite being used by them since i was an infant and thats where my story e#ends''#like fuck. yeah he is an honorary girlie to me. i barely know u man but like i support u. cmere be my pet cat#echoed voice
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narutomaki · 8 months ago
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get me OUT OF HERE
#this is about fucking. shipping. fucking orochimaru. get out of this polycule all of you shoo!!! go!!!!#STOP HAVING BABIES AND BEING HAPPY AND GOOEY!!!! STOP!!!!!! YOURE RUINING ME!!!!!!!!!#the fucked up little version of Obito ive made tho and his fucked up little niche of functionally immortal reincarnated body sharing#its like ive made him cat nip for Orochimaru. i was JOKING INITIALLY RIGHT??? I WAS LIKE#HAHA OROBITO HAHA HA HA HAAA FUCKING HELP MR#IM IJ HERE NOW LIKE OH YEAH AND GENE SPLICING IS SOMETHING OROCHIMARU HAS EXPERIENCE IN#AND GIVING HIM THIS AS A HEALYHY OUYLET AND MAKING HIM A MOTHER IN ONE FELL SWOOP#Obito has like 15 kids by the time Miho is created so shes not going yo be his heir (his heirs mother was an Uzumaki he hit it off with and#asked to have a kid with young (17) so shes 14 by the time the main series begins)#any way. Kakuzu being like ok you can have a chold under this roof but i will not be responsible in any way for it#and then holding Miho exactly once and going like 'oh i get why mothers die for their babies now'#Kisame takes the longest to warm up to her which surprises him bcus he gets along well with the rest of Obitos children#(Obito is like well. fuck you guys. Uchiha clan in Ame time and offers people contracts like in situations of fertility he adopts the mother#and father into his clan and turkey basters it (okay no he does send them to the hospitla but) and otherwise offers#a home a name etc for agreeing to join as either a civilian clan member or to have a child of his and some of the#second parents are like oh fuck yeah i want a kid but not a relationship/my husband is infertile/whatever and raise the child#as their own with very lityle input from Obito but some Obito has raised / was raising essentially on his own (such as his heir whos mother#didnt want to be in a relationship with Obito but wanted to test out motherhood and found she Could Not Do It and is now#more of an estranged aunt figure but 14 y/o doesnt have much bad blood about it bcus she has The Scariest Step Dad squad and#is 1000% creepy teen girl coded and it gets validated in sooo many capacities. cant do unethical experiments on mice when one of your step#fathers can bring you into the lab and teach you how to actually do the work and deal with an ethics commity that yes we have to#otherwise your father gives us the neutral but disappointed face)#ANY WAY#CAN YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ?? LET ME THE FUCK OUT!!! LET ME OUY LET ME OUT HELP SOMEONES FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC
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fappellmoan · 2 years ago
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yeah ok so this girl from my school is going to the fucking oscars. and presenting. like ok!
#what the fuck ever man not jealous at all or anything#i mean idk what she's presenting really but the fact that she's even involved!!! hello!!!#not discounting her work she's incredible but. she was also forced into a lot of stuff by this insane guy in our program#who totally totally creates his own legion of nepo babies#like! she's great but im also sitting here soooo bitter like. i could have done that. i just wasnt one of the hand selected people last#summer that this guy worked with. despite applying several times to work with him and now having met and interviewed with him#for a position i probably wont get cause he's gonna pick the most annoying evil insufferable girl instead just cause he knows her#she will absolutely not be a better representative of our school than i would be. im a really great speaker lol. and am generally charming#she has the personality of like. a fucking leech. she's terrible#and it's like do i want to work for this guy for a month while trying to get something out of this trip no but do i think im good enough#to deserve his backing like yeah. i was a better producer than one of his wunderkind lol.#wow ok sorry this is truly showing how cutthroat we little film kids will get i guess. it's just bullshit#you'd have to know this guy he's notorious with everybody in the film/english department#he could NEVER be my bestie prof. but my bestie prof also doesnt have all the same connections. but who cares he's also not the most#annoying guy on the planet#abby talks
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ajdrawshq · 1 year ago
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im glad that despite being on the backburner for . years. i can still think of my main aus like i never stopped :] kh on the brain forever
#looked thru one of my note for the pmd au and immediately got new ideas for it . i am so fucking back#made me wanna expand whats going on w Terra n Aqua since they dont have much going on besides. well. be legendaries basically#(they take the roles of rescue team Groudon n Kyogre as well as Latios n Latias in psmd. n technically also Entei for Terra in psmd)#that seems like a lot but i know what im doing i swear 👍#maybe i should find a way to include the khdr kids since i havent gotten to that yet.. could be fun#oh ! also been working on ways to connect Terra w Ansem n Xemnas :] probably gonna be more canon-esque than most other things#but it kinda works w the rescue team part of the timeline#and i really need to figure out how exactly to work around Xehanort bc of what he can and does do both in canon and taking his role here..#ironically these things are also backed up by pmd iq groups . now that i think abt it#i also need yo do more work on the psmd part of the timeline since its arguably the most altered part so far#since i dont really cover gates or rescue team anyway . explorers and super just connect a lil too well#i mean tbf gates and super are way too easy to also connect to each other bc like. come on.#but who would be the duo for that .. or maybe it could be earlier in the pmd timeline than it is .. hm.#that Could line up a something else i have planned actually. could be funky. theres two (2) different duos i have in mind#maybe more depending on who else i could slap in here#ok yeah. i have objectively the funniest duo to put in gates. thats happening now <3
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haemosexuality · 1 year ago
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these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone
#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably#bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice#and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me#bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to#did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others?#no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really#likeable. so ill take what i can get#when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start.#treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember#this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend#will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and#now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen#years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow?#when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her#to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all#and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things#and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk#to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl#because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant#connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just#not have anyone forever#i guess#especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks#Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the#gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normal™. idk how to find the former group irl#and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively#and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday-#anyways. certified magnus archives moment
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