#yeah idk..... it all worked out @ the end
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sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.
#i think in order for this to be satisfying i have to give grace and interiority to teenmian#i'm picturing an older teen like 18ish? maybe even early 20s?#big crush on csr he's already pretty sure isn't going to work out#but at least he'll always have wei-xiong#anyway this is my ploy to give jfm a chance at an ugly crying meltdown#he's trying so hard to be even keeled and like#maybe take this as an evil vision designed to teach him something#but somewhere in between my crush stole my man and then they died#my whole sect burned#my grown ass son who is older than me making the vibe sooooo weird#and my grandson! child of my dead???? daughter??????#is just like yeah he never talks about you. no never never#and then wwx blows into town and idk somehow they all end up at dinner together and jfm politely calls lqr a punk ass bitch in front of lwj#because what???? context clues suggest lqr has the fucking nerve to not like wei xiong's baby after All That#only for adult son with the weird vibes#to imply only filial piety is keeping him from naming the real#punk ass bitch#anyway this ends with jfm crying because clearly he marries yuanyuan and she HATES HIM and then his own son ALSO HATES HIM#and would rather stupid Lan-er-gongzi#be his dad.#if you like lqr so much why don't you just join the lan sect then?????#and that's how jc learns he didn't get it all from his mama#jc didn't mean it he was stressed! this isn't his dad it's an a-ling sized kid. but it's still stressful
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i don’t know if i’m ever gonna write the fic but i’ve been thinking abt like. the eternal stockade. the implications. lup, a lich who was trapped in a dark featureless cell for a decade completely isolated with nothing to keep her sanity but her own mind. she has to put people in the eternal stockade. how many liches does she see herself in. how many liches started out just like her. how many liches are truly too far gone. and the only liches we ever see other than her and barry are edward and lydia. they’re certainly evil, but mad? they seem pretty sane. they’re not, like, tattered echoes of souls, they’re definitely still people. even as much of a grudge as lup surely has against them, wouldn’t they remind her incredibly strongly of herself? do they deserve to be trapped just like she was? for eternity? isn’t eternity what turned john to existential despair in the first place?
#mine#taz balance#taz lup#lup#like idk i think lup’s down to kick necromancer ass but when it comes to being like. WARDENS of a PRISON. would that not be uncomfortable??#but like taking the job is the only way to avoid HER being thrown in prison??#idk the raven queen being a cool & chill goddess boss is definitely fun but when you actually think abt it#i don’t think i’d agree with her. i think if i lived in that world i’d think she were sort of evil#which like also to get into the hunger vs authority its not very explored because its not at all the point#the hunger is meant to be nihilism and despair and dissatisfaction its at its core an emotional story about joy & love#but like john starts out rebelling against laws. laws of the universe; except that it turns out a being wrote those laws (jeffandrew)#so the hunger is also sort of a force of rebelling against unjust constraints in the pursuit of freedom?#and the heroes end up preserving the status quo and saying you just have to find joy within those unjust limitations#which again. like. the point is that life is unfair and you can find joy and meaning despite it. which is true to real life.#i’m not saying the hunger was right or that despair is the only way or w/e like#yk like taz balance is not a story about society its more about. philosophy i guess#the point is that life’s really hard and you find meaning anyway and that’s preferable to despair and death#thematically for the audience we understand these are standins for ways of viewing reality#and in the real world reality is what it is. its just the world. there’s no authority that writes the laws of nature#like its not a ‘man vs authority’ story its a ‘man vs nature’ story#but IN UNIVERSE nature IS an authority. jeffandrew and the gods. regardless of how much joy you can find in an unjust world#if i lived in it i’d want to make it more just! but anyway like yeah barry & lup working for the raven queen#is kinda an extension on that idea of preserving the status quo#although i guess you could say gods are just forces of nature. theyre not PEOPLE theyre just personifications of existent natural laws#and it ties in w istus and fate as well#although fate is like a comforting guiding force rather than restricting & horrifying#^ pay no attention to any of this i don’t think it really means anything i’m just like. writing thoughts as i have them#not like a hard stance i’m taking just exploring some ideas#any ways#THERES A TAG LIMIT??
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so ... that stupid totk masterworks book has been out for a while hasnt it?
does anyone know if its possible to find a version somewhere you dont have to pay for? (especially the german version) so i can avoid that at all costs of course, i definitely totally plan to spend money on it
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i know i asked this before but?#doesnt hurt to ask again#especially since it has been a while#idk if its been out everywhere but i havent heard anythign of it in a while#to be clear i dont want it bc i like it- if i liked it i would pay for it#its just so i can make my full rant be truly fully complete#i have been holding back writing on it bc i dont want to write pages full of stuff only for it to be completely changed by the book#....yeah one of my goals before the end of the year is to get that at least properly started#the other is to get at least one update for chapter two of destiny out#i am so torn between working on different projects#like i also feel like i can only do the rant if i got my rewrite fully done with all the concepts in presentable condition etc#which ... is just ... kind stupid to do but i feel like if i dont put as much effort into it as possible its gonne be dismissed-#-if i brough it up in the rant at the end like i planned#to present a fully reworked version and everything that might convince people i do got at least a lil bit of a feeling for that stuff#and its not just whatever unrealistic dream gamer game tm or something#though its also not what i wanted or expected- its just what id do#.. anyway ... totk rants been haunting me again
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Even if they're not always there for him,
They're always rushing to his side, always defending him, and clearly concerned about him
If you have any rants or theories, please tag me in them or reblog this with your thoughts and opinions 🙏🙏
#sbg#school bus graveyard#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard webtoon#aiden clark#also daniel is a coward#idk if anyone else noticed that#but he always looks the most frightened out of all of the parents#and very affectionate with his wife#my guess is that theyre one of those couples that had a kid because that seemed like#the logical next step in their relationship#but failed to see how inconvenient it was with work#and ended up missing out on a lot of his childhood#so yeah theyre not great#but theyre not terrible either#pr much all of the parents are#with the exception of logans#but then again those are his grandparents#so im technically still right
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I think the hero and the contrarian should kiss each other
#slay the princess#don’t ask me how that would work. I just mean like they should MENTALLY kiss each other#idk man I just finished all the achievements today which meant getting the stranger ending which#yeah#voice of the hero#voice of the contrarian#what even would be their ship name#herarian#contraro#heroarian?#contrahero#<- found it#shout out to the three other ppl who agree with me
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I have one more thing I want to work on before I get back into updating 2AL regularly, but until then......
#I was going to do a poptart mindscape introduction comic next but like#idk how necessary that is???#I am assuming by this point we all know how the mindscape works right?#> can share memories#> can manipulate what you look like#> and can manipulate surroundings/summon whatever you want at will#I am assuming we know these things????? yeah?#2 arms left#and like! ah#gosh that animation project is scary#the last 2 options are build up comics for it that I am *probably* going to have to make at some point anyways#another part of me entirely is debating scrapping the animation project and just doing that update in comic form instead of animated form#YKNOW LIKE A NORMAL PERSON#idk#rambling#I am at a really weird part of the storyline for 2al where I know what happens next#but its going to be hard to visualize it? if that makes sense?#what do you MEAN these story points cant just get#beamed out of my head and into everyone elses heads#anyways hello thanks for reading this far into the tags#augh ive been very busy!#to whatever wins this poll I may not get to it till the end of the month#or after since the rest of this month is going to be pretty stressful#this is also assuming the animation option doesnt win#I dont know how long thats going to take me......#assuming I even have the guts to finish it
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in the years ive been off tumblr ive done a lot of traditional work so here's one of my favorites <3 it's titled "the epilogue"
oil painting & stitching on canvas, february 2024 (words by me!)
#click for better quality idk why tumblr did that to me#nart#art#this was probably the piece i was most proud of from my exhibition#mostly bc i had literally no time to make it and still managed to hand stitch all of it#hand stitching#oil painting#i might share my other oil paintings bc i usually work on a much larger scale and theyre my babies#the theme of this one is that after becoming an adult life doesnt end essentially#my entire exhibition was focused on how growing up feels like a 'narrative' because i have autism#and see life through narratives or people through story archetypes which isnt entirely healthy#and how by growing up i have to grow out of those understandings of the world bc life is more complicated than tv tropes#i also found the stitching super fun so yeah i just enjoy this one
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qantoine’s coping mechanism to feeling left behind being both self-isolating and becoming possesive of those he cares for is so juicy as a concept . like yeah you go you funky creachure, manifest those complicated and sometimes contradictory emotions
#anyone remember that one fanart of qantoine like . grabbing onto qetoiles and covering his mouth antoine reposted to his insta story .#anyone wonder what was up with that . like he reposted fanarts every now and again but like . that one specifically was such a Choice on hi#part . fantastic fanart btw it occupies space in my brain still#but yeah god . i think qantoine’s self-isolation (+ his secrecy the way he struggled generally to connect with others etc)#was the more obvious Thing he did as a coping mechanism . but damn were those smaller moments of possessiveness interesting#bc you could often just read it as protectiveness instead and well it Was that . but i think it becomes even more interesting if u read it#through a possesive lens . theyre two sides of the same coin anw it just depends on where the limit between the two lies for u#anw i think it manifested itself most obviously with pomme bc a parent-child relationship lends itself to that dynamic more . ough some goo#moments there i’d need to revist their relationship more . ‘je te connais comme si je t’avais créé’ which just has layers of potential#meaning . if you subscribe to the theory that qantoine had a hand in creating the eggs then that adds even More to the potential#possessiveness there . love it#and it manifested with qfrench too i think just in more subtle ways . like idk when there were implications he’d done a Thing to help them#out in some way . like the implication that he had a hand in getting ayp out of prison that one time . or when he was protective of etoiles#during prison . or even moments where he failed to achieve some sort of level of power over them like when bagz and ayp broke into his#secret room and he kept giving bagz the cold shoulder when she was trying to apologise to him 😭 . idk stuff like that . semi petty bitch#energy . but i LOVE the idea of this eldritch dude who’s still figuring out how mortal relationships work kinda just . being too possessive#too controlling . all in the effort to try and keep them in One Piece . and maybe in the end it won’t matter How he keeps them safe as long#as he manages to . he’s old as hell and he’s probably gonna outlive them and theyre all so fragile and small . they won’t see the bigger#picture so he’ll have to make sure he’s manoeuvring them around inside it correctly . <- absolute hc territory in the end there but it’s#very fun to think about :P#jay rambles#antoine daniel#qfrench.posting
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twelfth night is not a Shakespeare I have read or seen but now I’m a bit terrified of ever consuming it. I definitely would never touch that audio drama with a 10 foot pole though (so so tempting. I might give in)
i was normal about twelfth night and held many normal emotions about it i really liked it for being this fun very messy queer drama until i listened to david tennant malvolio which ruined my life i cannot stress enough all of my evil derangements are because of david tennant malvolio if he had not done any of that i would have been FINE
#YOU CAN HEARRRRR the heartbreak and desperation in dt malvolio's voice#you can picture his expression so clearly whem olivia says to him 'but out of question 'tis maria's hand'#the 'i'll be revenged on the whole pack of you' line reading made me lose my fucking MIND#i guess this is the biggest weakness of the audio drama is that im too busy like actively being upset over malvolio#to even feel anything about the haha funny everything all works out ending#twelfth night#ws#david tennant#when i read the play (esp 4.2) i pictured malvolio as being very very angry. still staying confident in the wake of#what's still happening around him. cuz it's like malvolio gave me a very 'i'm surrounded by fucking idiots' energy#and the only thing he has to rely on is his mind (which he takes a lot of pride in anyway).#also the play is a comedy and i feel like this is the only way for this scene to be actually funny#dt malvolio causes me evil derangements bc he is. the reverse of this lol#he is on the verge of tears throughout ALL of 4.2 his voice is all fucked up from screaming to be let out#when he says 'i am as well in my wits as any man in illyria' it's as much a desperate plea to feste as it is to himself#he's someone who once took pride in being the only sane one but now he's started to doubt himself n that's a whole other level#of horror for him. none of it is funny whatsoever. thank you david i love and hate you for this#idk how many other malvolios tend to give you the sense that he is straight up traumatized from being put in solitary but yeah
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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(vent in the tags) me thinking i've finally escaped financial problems: :DDDDD
life:
#idk why the image pasted like that but anyways haha im once again in a fucking pit#last month i was able to accumulate enough savings from collectively work and also other stuff#so i have a bit of extra in case of emergencies and additional expenses like taxes and stuff#but then guess who decided to not tell me he can't send me money by the end of the month - the time when i have to pay rent?#:DDD my beloved father#so i end up using the savings to pay for it#and i dont blame him or im not mad at him at all#especially because sending me money is already enough of a privilege that not a lot of people have#but at the very least if you don't think you can send me money can't you just tell me?#that way i can work for it???#because now im literally sitting with no money with food running out quickly in the fridge#i can't pick up a shift because whether its out of town or in my city it doesn't matter#i have no way to transport myself there other than on foot or on my bike#and i cant even cycle there without eating otherwise i'd basically sentence myself to death#so im trying to get by without eating for a couple of days right now but its just#sigh#i keep telling my father that i don't blame him and im not mad at him if he can't send me money when i need him to#but please tell me because i literally cannot take a shift this month because i need to study for the exams#and if i fail these exams i literally have one more chance to do them or else i have to repeat a year#which is going to cost us more in the long run#and just#yeah#maybe the hunger is getting to my head#im not going to open emergency comms this time because technically speaking i do have a job i can do#its just i need to just wait for the money that was supposed to be in my bank account to be sent#so i can eat and also i can have money for transportation#haku vents#venting#yeah no im just not in a good spot right now#apologies to mutuals and friends if i can't be on often
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#I'm sorry I'm behind on asks I feel like it never fucking ends#can't talk to family about it. they worry too much. cant talk to friends about it. they just start giving unwarranted (well meaning) advice#and plus they basically live with me atp with how often they're over helping me fuck do I do?? bother them more??#dude it's embaressing even if it's not chronic shit it's just unlucky shit like how u gonna have an allergic reaction & then seizure same d#idk about therapy therapists scare me. it's not a therapy issue though I'm just tired and in pain all the fucking time#one more person says “same omg” or “well have you tried-” i will start cutting peoples throat and eating their livers#you do NOT know what it's like having to write your own will before 30 like this shit aint right shit aint fair#makes me petty and shit too people who are healthy like can you just fucking suffer why do you get that freedom but not me#it just never ends#like I really fucking hate it when people say “oh you have so much to live for” because no I don't#Not so sound like a right winger gosh dang god fearer but like deadass people focus so heavily on “mental health!!” they don't#realize even if you feel better and get therapy or shit that's not gonna be realistically helpful for anything physical going on in sm#it's a cycle even if you manage 1 thing - the medications cause a 2nd thing#and that's alongside all the OTHER things you take medications for which cause all those other things#it's like multiplying and makes your body slowly deplete but like never quite die. like I know realistically I can just die anyday#and yeah it is getting worse but it's no different because it's not about that#when you're sick it's not just “OMG DYING!!!” it's like. everything else in your life dies.#you can't cook for yourself. you can't clean. you can't move. you can't hang out with people anymore. you can barely work LMFAO.#I'm REALLY close to quitting it's not even funny lmao. cant put clothes on without struggling.#do people not know it's. physically impossible. to even eat sometimes. just vomit it all up or seize.#yeah it does make me petty#rant
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I'm so looking forward to iroh and zuko properly talking and seeing irohs reaction to zuko being gay.
Like we all know he doesn't agree with the fire nation rn but how will he react?
Will he not support him cause sokkas a guy? Will he not support him because it's SOKKA? Will he accept him? Will he reveal he's known for years zuko was gay?
Especially with everything that happened with zhao, regarding to what jee said to bato on their date. (Which is a very understandable perspective, zuko just got out of this very sexually traumatising situation and almost immediately starts a relationship (his first relationship) with sokka, but then again it is a very unique situation)
One thing I love about some atla fics is how they portray the FNs thoughts on queerness, cause on one hand they were one of the only country's (I think) that treated men and women the same but then again it's also the fucking fire nation.
And I also think zukos whole canon arc can be very comparative to queerness,
His dads an asshole and after speaking out against him he throws him out, and zuko try's for 3 years to regain his father's love and acceptance, and then faced with the opportunity of regaining it takes it immediately regardless of who or what he may hurt (iroh, his own morals etc) but once he makes it back home realises how fucked up everything is and eventually confronts his dad and openly tells him he doesn't agree with him then runs aways.
I also wonder if iroh secretly knows jee is queer it doesn't seem that likely to me but it also is iroh so who knows.
<3
I do think Iroh’s reaction will be a big moment for not only the story but for Zuko’s character development. Right now, Zuko’s technically still a prisoner, holding himself there by assuming Iroh will not understand or judge him when in reality he’ll never know what his uncle is thinking until they TALK ABOUT IT. (Which the FN royal family is just sooo good at healthy communication I don’t understand why this is so hard for them lol?!)
I do agree that the suddenness of the relationship combined with the intensity from both zuko and Sokka is very alarming for people looking at it from the outside (I mean we all totally get it cause we were there but others are like uhhhh hmmmm ok this might be concerning) so I get them gossiping and wondering if this is truly real or what the fucks going on with those boys.
I love Zukos canon arc because there’s just so much about zukos story that can be relatable no matter who you are and I think that’s why he is a fan favorite (it doesn’t explain why we torture him the way we do but ehhhh it’s fine haha)
Hmmmmmm does iroh know Jees gay? Depends on how saucy those music nights got ;)
#HAHAHA DO SEE THE JEEROH JOKE SOCKS?!?! I hope you see it through all your House reblogging nonsense haha#Jk you obsess over your new blorbos I support you!#I love this ask thank you#I also love that canon gave us so much to work with but left it loose enough we could do what we wanted#like I’ve read the fire nation written so many different ways in fics it’s insane#And I love all the unique thoughts!#I will continue to flesh out the FN little by little as we progress#An azula pov (or someone from her squad) will be part of every new chapter until the end#She’s a coming haha#I don’t know if iroh knows Jee is gay#Or that jee is like one date away from hooking up with bato haha#Or that zuko is already kind of hooking up with sokka (not really but I mean they’re getting prettttttttty snuggly haha)#But yeah idk I’m excited this next chapter it is A LOT#& we will be SUPER CLOSE to getting some answers to your questions lol#Thanks for this cool ask these are my favorite asks#Sorry if you’ve sent me an ask lately and I haven’t responded I’m getting better at that I promise#I will say though that I don’t respond to asks if I genuinely don’t know what to say or if I feel I might come off too mean or rude.#So yeah sorry anyone who’s ask I didn’t respond#(I also forget them in drafts and then feel weird about posting it after it’s been a month so I’m sorrrryyyyyy…)#Ok phew this was a lot of tags sorry#monsieugrgraves#Leaving it all behind#LIAB#ITF#ask
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i need brownies so fucking bad rn
#⠀ᶻᶻ⠀turn it up!⠀#unrelated croomf has pissed me off to immeasurable amounts. reduced back to oomf#overthat#anyway#DY piece tn i need it to go#and also this song is soooo minhui i threw up everywhere#decided for better or for worse that kit will be implemented here instead of in the group w kyun.. kyun works best on his own for me idk#he’s not gnna have a massive part (for now) and i dont plan on him leaving 127 to join BB or anything so he’ll def stay on the side#buttttt i did start up a little gogo piece through his eyes#i rly like the idea of never writing in gg’s pov does that jst make me sound rly lazy#BECAUSE!!!!! IM NOT!!! well i am but not w this hear me out#he puts on so many faces with everyone and even if with some he’s more ‘him’ than with others he’s never really actually#gone the whole way bared his soul the whole shebang to everyone bar like one person. so he’s kinda lonely AS EFF!!!#and idk i js like the idea of him being (when u get down 2it) a stranger. he doesnt even wanna show himself to the narrative IJBOLLL#sooooo yeah. it does kinda sound like a cop-out 4 if he acts like a different person in every piece but i think ive been p consistent so#that one person was in dream btw.. he left partly because he was bored and felt like he’d end up going nowhere and#partly because he was HUMILIATED by doing all that he needed to pack his bags and get the fuck out its kinda funny#mention ** to him and he’ll look like that pic of that one 2000 yard stare soldier its serious#worse than saying ‘hyeonmin and jaehee are in the same room rn haha’ to yijun.. but barely anyone will ever find that out#ANYWAY! i like to think kit + cherryade are the closest to seeing minhui as he is right after redacted explosions gunshots#‘im on fire and i’ve got to break out’ + ‘i've had enough of this got to break it through’ LIKE ITS HIMMM!#and dont even mention the ‘got to leave all trouble living life on the double’ I HATE THIS OSNGGGG#They made it for him. IDGAF if it came out in 2001.#ok sorry for yapping i might go make toast
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playing around in my drafts tonight but threads are going into the (paused) queue, meanwhile i'll be posting any asks i finish
#i have some answers like. half written. so i might get to those tonight might not idk#rn i'm working on starters i haven't replied to yet but after that it's probs gonna be whatever vibes i'm feeling most#but i think doing it this way will balance out the need for instant gratification vs saving things so i can get caught up#might end up needing to drop some stuff again ngl.... drafts are almost at 70 again bc i keep collecting new stuff#but in my defense!!!! i can't get enough threads with y'all!!!!! i want to write everything with everyone all at once!!!!#and i'm severely lacking in impulse control!!!!!#but yeah i'm. i'm trying guys i really am#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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He's ok! I think! Maybe! Probably...
anyways late night saturday vrchat session was a thing that happened and it sure was chaotic as you'd expect we didn't get a lot of pictures but we do have these ones! :D hoping to add emotes to the tempo soon, but alas....visemes are hard to work with. hopefully i can get it sorted out soon! i def wanna get the silly emotes working oh yeah don't mind the basil omor in the third image that's just @komasan192
also im fully willing to plan out a vrchat session for harmoknight tumblr! i usually do em on friday, saturday, and sunday nights since thats when im mainly free :D maybe this weekend? :0
#harmoknight#phione's rambling#vrchat#i shared the tomodachi life lore with a friend during the gamering#most of us lost our shit it was so fucking funny#i wanna work on more avatars...maybe tappy next#i looked at gargans model and i've come to the realization that im legally not smart enough to figure out how to make the face work#meanwhile tyko's model ended up being in multiple parts and i dont think thats how it works???#i might end up seeing how ninja ripper works for ariana lyra and woodwin#oh and training tempo too#i really want those models ripped aaaa#OH yeah#i think tempo is ready [even though literally nothing has changed with him since last post]#im not. great at modeling or unity so his visemes are a little wonky#they dont really. move with the face which is weird#but you know what he works and that's what matters to me#he also has his staff toggle but idk how to make it work on pc im sorry pc users#im really not familiar with all the unity stuff!! sorry!!
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