#i have been holding back writing on it bc i dont want to write pages full of stuff only for it to be completely changed by the book
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so ... that stupid totk masterworks book has been out for a while hasnt it?
does anyone know if its possible to find a version somewhere you dont have to pay for? (especially the german version) so i can avoid that at all costs of course, i definitely totally plan to spend money on it
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#i know i asked this before but?#doesnt hurt to ask again#especially since it has been a while#idk if its been out everywhere but i havent heard anythign of it in a while#to be clear i dont want it bc i like it- if i liked it i would pay for it#its just so i can make my full rant be truly fully complete#i have been holding back writing on it bc i dont want to write pages full of stuff only for it to be completely changed by the book#....yeah one of my goals before the end of the year is to get that at least properly started#the other is to get at least one update for chapter two of destiny out#i am so torn between working on different projects#like i also feel like i can only do the rant if i got my rewrite fully done with all the concepts in presentable condition etc#which ... is just ... kind stupid to do but i feel like if i dont put as much effort into it as possible its gonne be dismissed-#-if i brough it up in the rant at the end like i planned#to present a fully reworked version and everything that might convince people i do got at least a lil bit of a feeling for that stuff#and its not just whatever unrealistic dream gamer game tm or something#though its also not what i wanted or expected- its just what id do#.. anyway ... totk rants been haunting me again
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Brandon has said that he literally was not able to add a single extra page to this book, and had to edit a lot out. I feel for both Moash and El he had to go "I really want to focus on these two more but they will have their time in Era 2 and I need to cut SOMETHING". I think the book really could have used an extra 40 pages, insane as that is.
I really enjoyed the book, I liked how much of it was a almost a refute of Elend's mistborn and Dalinars early arcs. The idea of a people needing a tyrant being flawed, and with the entire Jasnah/Odium debate addressing how similar that attitude is to Odiums goals was refreshing.
Also Adolin dodging those death flags is insane I was SO tense with his scenes but he was so good this entire book. Im also so excited for the Jasnah second half arc I think she is set up so well to be a focal point.
.......hm. okay. this is interesting bc if im honest i felt like a lot of big military outfits sections of the book couldve been condensed. dont get me wrong i love a helm's deep type siege situation and sigzil's stuff on the shattered plains was important cause it did kinda foreshadow what happened in thaylen city but man idk. i mean it's cool if you have. i have to stop calling it this. shounen brain like i do like it's fun to read but holds less value than other sections of the book to me.
moash........i see where he could end up im kinda not worried about him as much as i was now that this series has emerged full force as Fantasy Series Of Second Chances but after all that hype and mystery last book yeah im still disappointed with the lack of el. like the teasers in rhythm of war were so insane but it felt like sanderson's priorities might have shifted after writing the ssps. im not complaining bc i love sigzil but if i was reading JUST the stormlight archive and not the greater cosmere id be like what the hell is happening. of course no one is doing this bc stormlight has been illegible without cosmere knowledge since oathbringer but still
the jasnah odium stuff was great, i feel like we really missed stuff like that last book so it was good to see it back in full force. adolin is always a highlight. and yeah boy that book broke jasnah down in a way that i didn't expect but makes for a very interesting second half đŹ haha.
#standalone series my ass lol after rhythm came out i was like. oh we're just giving it up fully i see#asks#sa5#sa5 spoilers#kowt spoilers#wat spoilers#wind and truth
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jazzy!! & apollo
hello yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) with my wonderful oc jazzy and a modern au i came up with when i opened my eyes this morning lol. u can find a little lore on ma blog under the #jazzy tag :3
--
aight so for context a few months ago while deep in the trenches of my greek mythology obsession i made a minor underworld diety oc who goes by kore or jazzy. shes my favourite muffin and i love her.
and after reading one too many apollo fics here lmao i really wanted to explore his domains (which i find endlessly fascinating bc its all my favourite things in one: medicine art literature) and learn more about him as a god via a character study of sorts.
(ive yet to write anything for them lol but when i do it will be great :P)
--
anyway back to the story they are teachers!! bc im currently rethinking my life choices and having fun imagining what my life could have been like things went differently (11/10 recommend. great for the blorbos). babys first midlife crisis at the ripe old age of 21 lol
so without any further ado, them <3
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BABIES
*slaps hands* aight so context and premise:
cant be bothered to come up with alternative names and clever refernces for everyone so theyre keeping their greek names lol.
not everyone in the pantheon will make an appearance, this aint keeping up with the olympians (until it is)
the setting is vaguely british lol bc its where i grew up and am more familiar with the system and the norms. ish
they teach both primary and secondary school students (this afaik doesnt exist in the uk but it does here so yeah. will elaborate later)
greek mythology adjacent at best i regrettably know very little of the mythos and my one and only reference is theoi. i will do better i promise. as soon as i graduate
in the mean time pls feel free to tell me all about ur fave myths and works and recommend stuff :D!!
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art stuff, character design, notes
apollo has heterochromia :3 dunno if u can see it but his eyes are olive green (right) and a teal (left). representing the suns reach over land and sea. ALSO FRECKLES >:D
my girl jazzy has the most boring brown eyes ever. no pools of honey or flecks of gold. just good ol dirt brown. *foreshadowing*
short curly hair somewhere between brown and black for her, and floofy kraft singles waves for him XD
jazzy is a knitwear gremlin (like urs truly lol), 24/7 turtlenecks cardigans jumpers scarfs all of it. her hands (and extremeties) are always cold bc bad circulation and probably dehydration. shush
palettes are warm and earthy for jazzy (wow im so subtle) and cool celestial for apollo (and artemis hehe)
so thats mostly greens esp olive, brown and beige and a healthy sprinkle of rose. le aesthetic is forest/ gremlincore for my girl
and lots of blues esp navy and shiny silver and gold for chaotic academia sunshine boi (TIL astroacademia is a thing and like wow)
arts and moodboards and quotes in this century trust
jazzy is of average height (which to me is 160cm hhhhh and apollo is taller at 180cm. do ur own math we use metric in this household)
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finally concept idea, plot if u will, notes and backgorund info too:
the first thing i thought of when i opened my eyes was literally apollo and his nine daughters the muses. let me finish
i wish i was joking lol it instantly gripped me but alas i had to go to uni and so it stayed on hold and i havent studied more that 3 pages bc im thinking about them
and by thinking i mean going over the same scene in my head and not doing somethinguseful like say expanding lore. as one does.
anyway yes we have apollo the girl dad of all time who has 9 wondeful daughters of varying ages from fist year of uni to toddler
still mapping out details like if from same mother or several relationships. idk what im doing pls respect my privacy at this time
apollo has 2 degrees bc its cool af to me (my dad has two masters and its been on my bucket list since. i dont know why i am the way that i am either) one in nursing and another in english literature (and a masters in translation bc i can)
he teaches english and history tho and the art afterschool clubs. yes clubs plural. i am insane and so is he.
jazzy is a biomed graduate and is currently pursuing a masters in forensic toxicology (sucks that i hade organic chem this would be fun to write) so she teaches bio. probably part time idk.
i will get to the details of lore and what theyre like and their work ethics etc but i is tired and id really like to finish some work before bed lol so goodnight for now and enjoy and feel free to ask stuff ig :3
#apollo was supposed to be wearing a suit jacket blazer thing and a turtleneck but my brain crashed lol and this is what i got#i assure u he is very professional & adheres to the dress code#mostly#also i will do what research i can bc i havent been to the uk since 2016 (oh damn) for under a month and before that 2014#so all my memories and stuff are hazy and most importantly through the lens of a very starry eyed child so bear with me lol#but then again im focusing on the lil guys and i doubt ill go beyond describing my local tesco and childhood park lmao#enjoy!#my art#writing#writing stuff#jazzy#apollo#my oc#oc stuff#i am so tired#5 pages to finish if i survive ill write more :3#greek mythology#mousai#the muses#i hate how fast im getting emotionaally invested in this#(i dont but i know me too well)#sure hope i dont retire this to the UFO shelf before the week is out lol#im tired ill tag properyl later#also not prrofread#case in point XD
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Jensen Ackles and Jeffrey Dean Morgan | New Jersey Convention, Main Panel (April 16, 2023)
(x)
âhey dad! times been good to yaâ (x)
when jensen and danneel had crushes on each other but were tied up with other people jensen wrote her a note that said ânot now. but somedayâ and she still has it (x)
jdm was on jensens first date with danneel bc JENSEN INVITED HIM BC HE HAD NO IDEA IT WAS A FIRST DATE (x)
jensen: jdm got off a motorcycle in slomo and i saw hilarieâs jaw on the floor. she had no idea who he was (x)
fan: fav backstage moment from cons jdm: when i told everyone i was having a daughter bc i wasnt supposed to (x)
jensen: when we announced the end of spn and at SDCC there were 7000 people and i told jared âtake this in. this is itâ (x)
*everyone arguing over an answer* jensen; glad we figured that out. great job jdm: im still confused (x)
jensen got in trouble for sharing info abt a project last con so he will not be saying ANYTHING (x)
fan; SOLDIER BOY COMING BACK? jensen: uhâŠâŠ.no comment (x)
theyre talking about their daughters jdm: mine will be the death of me jensen: one will be the death of me and the other will take care of me jdm; mine will be twerking over my grave jensen: HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW DADDYÂ (x)
.@JDMorgan : the year I did #Supernatural and Grey's Anatomy changed my life #SPNNJÂ (x)
.@JensenAckles getting the part of Tony in West Side Story in high school was life changing - after his baseball coach talked him into doing it. (x)
(x)
the drama teacher at Jensenâs school wanted him to be in the spring musical and his baseball coach was like âyouâve played with me for three years. go give this a shot i promise weâll be in the front rowâ (x) a talent scout was at the play and told jensen that he had it and he should come to LA and he went âlol take a hikeâ (x) THE ROLE WAS TONY IN WEST SIDE STORY!!! and his whole baseball team was like âwoah â (x)
jensen: getting into the industry is harder now that it was back then jdm: i dont even know how to get an agent now jensen: yeah dont ask us for advice (x)
Question: Jensen, what was your favorite thing about soldier boy? JDM: the codpiece. *crowd laughs* JDM: sorry, I thought you were asking me. (x)
the boots soldier boy wore on the show are the same ones that dean wore on spn. theyâre called carolinas (x)
jensen: jdm texted me when i was getting fitted and he was immediately like âSHOW ME THE COD PIECEâ and i was like âperfect timing i have five of them lined up which oneâ AND JDM SAID âPICK THE BIGGEST ONEâ (x)
fan; nash was amazing. is there hope for touring in the future for radio co? jensen: thanks it took a lot of drugs jdm: heâs not lying (x)
jensen: touring might be aggressive but anything is on the table (x)
jdm: i watched it online and i remember texting you being like âwhat the fuck is going on that was amazingâ (x)
jensen looked at steve and said âthis is a bad idea we should leaveâ right before going on bc louden swain KILLED and they didnt wanna follow that (x)
.@JensenAckles : even tho it was a vengeful mission, John set out to right a wrong. In The Winchesters we wanted to show John before that trauma. (x)
jensen says the pilot of spn âholds up todayâ (x)
fan: whats your fav format to play in (movies, tv, voice acting, etc) jdm; whatever has the best writing. we knew supernatural was going to be good by the first ep (x)
jensen turns towards tv bc he doesnt know where itâll go and where it will end (x)
jensen: ive done soap operas and that was 20-24 pages of dialogue a day (x)
APPARENTLY ONE TIME JENSEN TAPED JEFFâS DIALOGUE TO HIS CHEST AND HE WAS LIKE âWE GOTTA GET THROUGH THE DAY LOOK AT MY TITSâ (x)
JENSEN TALKING ABOUT FRIENDS AND HE YELLS âPIVOTâ (x)
jensen: i heard âanyway you want itâ in the car and almost got out before the second chorus hit bc i thought i was late for stage (x)
fan: go to karaoke song? jensen: have u ever done karaoke? jdm: never in my life. i think you asked me once and i said âgoodnight đđ» â jensen: right but it was more like âgoodnight đđ»Â (x)
(x)
#Jensen Ackles#Jeffrey Dean Morgan#NJCon23#SPNNJ#Jensen: Panel Highlights#*#I really enjoyed their dynamic#and how supportive of each other they are#it's very genuine
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Hey beautiful đI have a request. If it's okay for you to write about 3kk Daniel where he's like 19 (bc of collage) would you make a scenario were he and y/n are the bestes of friends and got really close but before the kiss could happen Mr.miyagi interrupted and then a few days later he and y/n are fighting over Aly (I hate her in rl tho) and y/n is speaking but he couldn't hold it anymore and kisses her? If you don't want to do it it's totally fine it's a TIG page so I would understand đđđđ
Of course I will write a Daniel one for you bibi đ I hope you like it đ
You had been friends with Daniel for as long as you could remember, and over the years, your friendship has grown more and more each day. You loved learning karate along side Daniel and enjoyed the lessons from mr miyagi. Daniel saw him as one of his closest friends and he would always go to him for advice, but sometimes Daniel said that Mr miyagi would interrupt at the wrong time, case in point tonight. You and Daniel were just putting a few things away in mr miyagi's dojo when you both stopped for a moment to take a breath and sat on a little wooden bench outside the back door. "That equipment certainly is heavy isnt it Daniel?" "You could say that again" Daniel says before letting out a breathless giggle.
"Why isnt mr miyagi helping us put this stuff away?" "He said he had to call a friend of his, but dont worry Y/N were able to do it by ourselves" "You say that, and yet were both sat outside trying to catch our breath from carrying heavy things from one room to another" "Well you do have a point I supose" This makes you both giggle, and you cant help but slightly blush when you see Daniel smile at you like that. Trying to distract yourself, you look up into the night sky. "I cant belive how beautiful the stars look tonight, it's so clear" "Yeh....yeh your right" he replies. A little gust of wind blows against your bare arms and makes you slightly shiver. You did feel a little cold before, but now it was starting to seep into your skin. And Daniel notices the goosebumps on your arms.
"Hey, are you cold? Hear, let me help you" He sat right next to you, wrapped one arm around your back and places his hand on your arm, and his other hand did the same with your other one. That's when be started to rub his hands up and down your cold skin, trying to warm you up. "Thank you Daniel, you know you didnt have to do that though" "I know but, I uhh...I didnt want you to get to cold...." You couldn't help the little smile that spread over your face as you looked at him. That's when, just for a moment, everything seemed so quiet, so still, and the only thing you and Daniel did was look into eachothers eyes. He looked a little nervous at you as his eyes darted between your eyes and your lips, you knew you wanted to kiss him. You both started to lean in slowly, and just as both yours and Daniel's eyes closed as your lips almost touched.... "Daniel! Y/N! Why isnt this stuff all moved?" Shouted mr miyagi from inside the dojo.
You both pulled away awkwardly. "I uhhh, I supose we should get back inside?" "Yeh....yeh your right Y/N" You both stood up and went insde to finish putting the things away, and you didnt speak to Daniel for another 2 days after that. When you were coming out of a corner shop after those 2 days, you bump into Daniel. "Oh hey Daniel" "Hey Y/N, what's up?" "Just getting a few things, I uhhh... supose I'll see you at the dojo this afternoon?" "Yeh, I'll....see you there" Giving him a little smile, you turned to walk away, both of you felt so awkward after the other night. You arrived early in the dojo and it was just you and Mr miyagi, he said to you "Daniel is not hear yet, so I must run out and talk to my friend. I will only be about 20 minutes, are you ok to wait for me and tell Daniel?" "Of course mr miyagi" He leaves the room and heads out to his car, where he proceeds to drive down the street. As your looking out the window, you see Daniel arrive, but he isnt on his own, hes with Aly. You knew Aly had a crush on Daniel, and deep down you were worried that he felt the same for her. You could see her rest a hand on his shoulder, but he barley noticed and shrugged it off.
She walked away while Daniel wade his way inside, to see you on your own, and no miyagi. "Hey, where is he?" "He had to pop out for 20 minutes, he had to see his friend" "Oh...ok..." You both just stand there, twiddling your thumbs and looking away from eachother. "So? You were hanging out with Aly I see?" "Yeh kind of, she saw me walking down the street and tagged along" "she ummm...seems quite taken with you" Daniel looks quite confused. "Aly? Are you kidding me? No no she does see me like that" "You dont see it Daniel because your a guy. You dont know what girls do when they want a reaction from a guy. The way she smiled at you and rested her hand on your shoulder, that was a signal" He just chuckles. "Nah nah if a girl was into me, I'd know" You just look him straight in the eye. "Would you?" The room goes quite, and you dont know what to say next. "Listen Daniel, just....just tell mr miyagi I'm not feeling very well ok? I'm just going to go" "What? Why?" "I just dont think.....its nothing just, I'm going to go"
You try to walk past him to get to the door, but he takes your hand in his, stopping you from going further. "Y/N, did I do something to upset you? Please tell me" "Daniel its nothing, I think...I think you and Aly could be a nice couple that's all, and if she likes you like that then I dont want to bother you-" All the time he is listening to you speak, he just cant stop thinking about the other night when he almost kissed you, and he knew that Aly made you feel uncomfortable, he wanted to show you that you didnt have to feel like that. He stopped your speaking by pulling you in by your hips and pressing his lips against yours. It definitely shut you up, and you both just stay still in that position, feeling the softness of eachothers lips. It was only a little kiss, and you both pulled away so you could look at eachother. His eyes were so beautiful, and you felt so close to him, finaly not having to hide it anymore. Giving him a smile, you rested your hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a much slower and far more passionate kiss, you both took your time and just enjoyed the blissful time you were sharing.
His hands were starting to move, from your hips, one was holding your back and the other came up and rested against your cheek. And of course, your hands just held his body closer to yours as the kiss deepend and got so much more sensual. After about a minute, you both pulled away and looked at eachother again. "That was way better than I imagined" "You imagined kissing me before Daniel?" He blushes and starts to stumble over his words. "Well uhh- yes- I- I mean- umm maybe once- or or twice- I uhh" You just smile and plant another small kiss on his lips. "I imagined it to Daniel" He breathes a sigh of relief, smiles at you and is about to lean in for another kiss, when mr miyagi pulls up outside in his car. "Shall we continue this later Daniel?" "I'd really like that Y/N"
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from pen.d's goodreads qna:
Lottie asked Penelope Douglas:
Hi Pen! I just wondered is there any chance you will write a bonus scene for Aydin and Alex? Iâd love to have seen more of them (their wedding night particularly haha), Aydin was such an interesting character. Also, what is the gift Damon received from Christiane in Fire Night? Damon is my favourite character of yours, I loved every tidbit we get about him and will miss reading about him. Thanks :)
Penelope Douglas Hi, Lorrie! Always possible! And Christiane gave Damon and journal--the left page is for the parent to fill out and the right is for the child. Like "List your top 10 favorite movies" It's a way for parents and children to learn about each other, communicate, etc. She's filled it out for most of Damon's life, and she finally passed it on to him. Thanks for the question!
-
oh? so they're actually not done with this series? đ aydin and alex đ¶đ« just k-word me already. No bcs why tf will it be aydinalex, kaibanks and willemmy's fans have been asking extra since forever but there were so little? but aydin and alex could be possible? i thought they said so many times before that they were SOOOOOOO fucking done with this series and the books, and hoped that fans will move on and be happy, didnt want to change anything blablabla, emory was heavily disliked yadayadayada, but they just kept on firing shit up, AND include these two imbecile ass characters that were hated by many, in everything? đ€đ
sometimes i wonder where they even got their insights? Like who did they even listen to when they said their readers hated emory and love alex more? Beta readers? Pendragon FB fan group? PR lists? Publishers? Editors? Because they're definitely not coming fom the majority of their fans everywhere else. It's like they have a secret society of feedback givers that we dont know about and kept on putting content that we never asked for because they listened to that unknown society, and again was surprised when their content got so many backlash! And they never owned up to anything too!! God! We at least could've gotten a bonus of emmy being pregnant or some shit, or how will is faring with his college degree, or some more domestic willemmy things, but ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! This? pd's just so full of shit đ
ahhhh, I see. I had to check goodreads to see when they posted it.
My understanding is that PD will always leave the door open to write a scene here or there, but they have no plans or intentions to continue the series or pick up with their children.
As for the Alex bit, you best believe that PD is all too happy to write about her, Rika, and Damon. It's confirmed that Damon is their favorite.
But look at this from their website:
"As an adolescent, I was quiet, shy, and afraid. No mistakes could be made, because people would hate me or Iâd be alone. So rather than run, I walked. Rather than climb, I kept my feet on the ground. And rather than say âyes,â I always said âno.â And as a result, I didnât live.
And I still felt disposable, fearful, and alone.
What would they say about me when I was gone? Would I have regrets? Every day that I didnât blaze a trail swallowed me up.
So I decided I wouldnât be invisible or waste another second. I left home, went to college, and traveled. I took trains from Atsugi to Tokyo all by myself. I jumped Hiji Falls when others joked I wouldnât do it. (I did it twice.) I climbed Mt. Fuji, and I moved to New Orleans for graduate school without knowing a single person in the city. I did what I dreamed, and I was a lot happier.
I donât worry so much anymore, and I donât let othersâ opinions hold me back.
Be yourself, and OWN it. You know what that means? Be loud and proud. Nurture who you are and good things will come. Most importantly, your happiness."
Sounds a little like Rika's character arc, no?
And in Corrupt, Alex was everything Rika wasn't; bold, sexual, loud and proud. Since Corrupt was a stand alone, I think the relationship between Rika and Alex is special to PD. There's something about those two and Damon that have a tight hold on PD. If we're getting new content, it will probably strongly feature one of them.
Because they're definitely not coming fom the majority of their fans everywhere else. It's like they have a secret society of feedback givers that we dont know about
Unfortunately, there are a lot of readers who hate Emory and love Alex. I wish neither character was hated and that there wasn't competition in the fandom over them. It's so exhausting. I wish PD had planned on writing a series from the start, so that they balanced all these characters better. I wish they enjoyed writing about Kai and Will, and Banks and Emory, as much as they enjoyed writing about Rika and Damon. I wish that they didn't listen to fans so much - there are those that enjoy Alex and those who don't. They're always going to get contradictory requests over her.
Just be happy Willemmy was clearly always endgame and nothing changed that for PD, not even all the fans who were rooting for Alex. And be happy that the less PD touches Willemmy, the more we can imagine our own scenarios for them.
Thanks for the message!!
KO
#asked and answered 312#asked and answered#devil's night series#no alex tag#But just to clear#There's nothing anyone could do to get me to waste my time on alexaydin#I would not disrespect my brain that way#End#rika fane#damon torrance
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okay, hi, it's the Ao3 anon who leaves all those lengthy comments at the end of chapters (YESS). haven't done that for the last few bc i wanted to let them build up, so now i get to read like, eight new chapters at once. gonna get around to that in a bit but before I do, I wanted to read the author's commentary and. idk. say something??
dude. i've been here since like, chapter nine. this is so surreal for me. i graduated highschool and started college in between bbtss updates! I feel like I've been following this story for ages!! and like-- i hate endings. I will purposefully not watch the final episode of TV shows or read the last few pages of books. endings scare me.
I feel like I'm not doing your fic justice if I don't finish the story completely, though? just from the author's commentary, it seems like it's not gonna be a very happy ending-- but I'm still trying to hold out hope. I dont even know if I WANT a happy ending. I need to read the epilogue and everything but I'm super scared atm lol, it feels too final. i really hope mike and red got a modicum of peace.
idk where im going with this, i just really love the story you wrote. i'll probably be crying in the comments for the next few days, so that'll be embarrassing, but for now, thanks for writing. it was epic to follow along with the world you build. Genuinely probably my favorite tmnt fic to date??? every time i got the update notification, i would get that mix of anxiety/apprehension/excitement that makes you nauseous. I'd stay up wayyy too late reading new chapters. I'm disappointed that it's ending, but like, the story has SO much reread value that I'm sure I'll be coming back to it again and again anyway. you really wrote something special. I'm never gonna get this fic out of my head lol
ok my emotions are a little incomprehensible at the moment but like. I had an awesome time. if you end up writing anything else for this universe (or just tmnt in general), I will 100% be there.
thanks for writing :)
oh, hi!
yknow, i'm trying to build up a reading backlog for one of the wips i'm reading and it's been a struggle to not instantly dig in even when there's only the one chapter. i just do not have the patience for letting big backlogs build up
anyway, well, it's all there now! there's... an ending. iirc you asked a while back if there was a happy or tragic ending and i kind of equivocated. there is definitely an ending. nothing really horrible happens to the major characters. but... well, you can read it and figure out whether it's a happy ending or not, yourself, now, i guess. i hope reading the rest of it isn't too stressful :V
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Hi...it's me again..hello once more..It's been a while isn't it?(sike) Don't know if you remember me, but duh i don't blame you in the least if that is the case, perhaps you may need to run up flagpole and take a trip down memory lane back to september when i sent you that jolly little drabble of Lilia...(I think???? I dont even remember myself wjsjskq) ANYHOO GIDDAY!! I've noticed in the past few months (IF I'm not labouring under a misapprehension, for all one knows) you have been a bit inactive, and so I missed your funny (relatable) contents a bit AND IM SAYING THIS IN THE KINDEST WAY POSSIBLE, don't take stress from this you can keep your ease as much as you want, just stating a mere observation.
At any rate, IM HERE AGAIN to gift you a few measly drafts still as a form of support or benevolence. (And I'm sorry for not accepting any of your suggestions and contacting you beforehand, im not really active on this app either way).
DOTN AZSK ME1 ANYATHING ABOUT THATQ FLUIDW DRIPPPWING FROMQ HIS HANDS ANNSD THAT..Q.HAkjjaq..TONGU3... It's just tomato juiceđ. nothing else. no indeed. definitely not at all.
ITâS YOU AGAIN !! YES I REMEMBER YOUR ADORABLE LILIA DOODLE OF HIM HOLDING UP A PEACE SIGN <33
yes i havenât been posting as much content as before đđ college started around that time and i was busy adjusting to a new chapter of my life ue ue ue ( it was all very fun tho!! )
i actually have four completed drafts ( all lilia. loser behaviour sob sob ) but i wonât be posting them anytime soon bc i donât like my writing lately âčïž my standards have seriously been dropping and i OOOHHHH wanna throw my phone across the room so bad. until i get my writing confidence back iâm afraid youâll only be seeing my silly little talks about that fossil đŁ
OKAY OKAG BUT PURTINFG THAT AISIDE I LITERALLY LOVE YOU SM??? THANK YOU FOR CHECKING UP ON ME !! u have no idea how happy that made me đ€§đ€ user mysticalkrispy i WILL send u a ten paged love letter
OCNEB AHAIN YKU ATE YOU DEVIURED I LOVE LOVE LOOOVE YOUR ART SO MUCH ????? ESPECIALLY JTBS LILIA ????? HE LOOOKDS SO GOOD aND HIS HANDS whatâs that liquid ALSO THE COLLARBONE ?!?!,! ?!!! IM ABSIUT TO HSVE CARDIAC ARRETS LIRKR HEâS SO SO SO HANDSOEMD IN THE FIRST ORNE AND THE SECORD HEâS A SCHEMFIGN LITLTLE FLIRT HE MAJORED IN CUNTOLOGY
i wanna kiss him đ wanna wrap my arms around him and just pepper him with lots of lots of kisses đđ your lilia drawings are CRUCIAL for keeping my sanity intact
and the way theyâre only DRAFTS ??? what if i snuck into ur device and lived there IW ANANAB KISISS HIM SOD BADFG
sorry. saved. downloaded. screenshotted. kept in folder. printed. framed. placed on my bedside table.
#HEâS SO HANDSOME IN THE FIRST DRAFT AND I HAUAUWKRMEJH RNENWKWLA MOFPPWKQ#I LOVELEOGEBELOHELOVELOVE HIM SO MACH đŁđŁ#AND NOO DW ABT THE SUGGESTIONS 𫶠YOUâRE ALWAYS WELCOMED HERE !! MWAKS#inbox.
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pnat rambles beware
all the new side character informatio makes me just want to see more and more and also write/analyze them for myself. but it's also a little bit of that one fanfic meme where it's like "the more mid-- but not bad- the more fanfiction there is." Like paranatural is still awesome but im getting whole character personalities and lives at once. like.
isabel's story was more slow burn, and based on character expressions n moments. Same with some of isaac's, who's character I really like too . Losing eightfold was an important moment for isabel and info dump for us. and frankly i really like it that way. Same with stephens, spenders partially, even mina/spender/BL scene... genuinely a lot of the story until the recent stuff... which did hold the story back some. Like it takes FOREVER. but now everything is too fast, which is understandable- we're getting old, gotta reveal all these points, etc. mysteries have been laid down and now need solving. Plus some reveals have to be said with words! Isabel/Isaac/Ed character arcs have been more emotional than reveal-based. Hopefully we'll get back to some of the bigger mysteries, or emotional arcs (coach oop was interesting enough. i think cody's upcoming escape will have some cool emotions. hes such an intriguing guy...I rlly like the shrike reveal.) which light cult/death cult/werewolf/vampire seems to hopefully be leading too...but for the character moments, they aren't impacting me as much bc less build up. It used to be there was always a main character leading us thru the meeting of background characters- now it's been side characters carrying everything. The pace might have to do with the new prose format, too- harder to draw things out, show expressions imo. Forced to tell us what they're feeling more point-blank. And cody's character is very constant smile person, which is part of his appeal, but also gives us less show-dont-tell moments. his whole family history is revealed in 2 pages. Not his whoole plan, tho, which im quite excited to see- expecting some twists, etc. I'm so excited to see everything connect but also if we have another character we know nothing about give us all this information at once it might make me go AAAA
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Should I be a mad person and ask you all the author questions?
I forget that "mad" means "wild or crazy" and I misread this as "Should I be mad?" anf i was like OH MY GOD WHAT DID I DO???? JJHDKJHDKJD
but to answer your question YES!! I answered all the ones I didn't get to already beneath the cut!
1) is there a story youâre holding off on writing for some reason?
YES. I have an angsty like, Old Flame/It's Complicated bc It Was Friendship But Also Something More where one of them os very hurt and they become estranged and i have not started because i have BITS AND PIECES but not an actual... plot. I also feel like I kind of already did something similar with 'tis the damn season and don't want to bore everyone with the same shit lmao
2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?
(TW: SA) waaaaaaay back when, I tried writing a really angsty AU where one character gets sexually assaulted and it was honestly like. the second thing I ever wrote but the issue with that was that I was 15 and had no idea what I was talking about and while it's not particularly problematic, I feel kind of weird and icky about having written it especially being socialized as a woman like. Idk it makes me feel like a supid kid writing about shit they had no business having an entire story centered around, and it got really dark in some places and I feel like that's not and never was me, or what I want people to think about when they think of my stories. So it will stay and die on my ffnet page with the rest of the shit I aint too proud of
4) favorite character youâve written
FINN!!!!!!! I love writing Finn and maybe it's because he and I share a braincell (or lack thereof) but I have always loved him and adore writing him in shit <3
5) character you were most surprised to end up writing
I was so surprised to have fallen in love with writing Quinn, even though she is SO hard for me to get quite right most of the time. I love her your honor
6) something you would go back and change in your writing that itâs too late/complicated to change now
7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?
online? enthusiastic!!!!
irl?.... WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNONONONOOOO
9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?
Walks, leave the house (has been harder since anxiety spiked since quarantine), talk to people. I feel like I am very intrinsically motivated, BUT very extrinsically inspired. I definitely draw inspiration from the world around me
10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?
depends on my mood tbh! most of the time its in silence by myself, but sometimes I will put on instrumental/classical/lo-fi music to help me focus if i need it. I know i will be judged for this, but I STILL WRITE FIC ON MY PHONE SOMETIMES WHEN I GET THE OPPORTUNITY SO SOMETIMES I wRITE aROUND OTHER PEOPLE< STRANGERS EVEN (at least I don't use the notes app anymore ksjdfkjsd)
12) your weaknesses as an author
UGH. Setting, describing movement, LOGISTICS,timelines i HATE TIMELINES like no i dont know when any of this happens but like its gonna happen aight???
13) your strengths as an author
I think I'm pretty good at emotions, specifically downward spiral sjahkjdaks I love me a good breakdown. I also like to think I'm funnt sometimes and write dialogue alright
14) do you make playlists for your current wips?
not all of them but most of the time yeah ksjdhfksjd I have one for "State of Graceâ and one made by the lovely @honeysucklepink for âSing To Meâ (which I WILL finish eventually i promise, but it reminds me of a Turbulent Time In Life and has been hard to write recently due to things I never would have seen coming a year ago)
16) are there any characters who haunt you?
I donât think so??? I have an OC child i killed in a zombie apocalypse once that i sort of feel guilty about oop
17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?
Read more than you write, donât be afraid to ask for a second pair of eyes, and work collaboratively, i promise youâll love it. Also fucking read through your shit before you post it bc âidk how to say they fucked intenselyâ will come back to haunt you more than the dead zombie child
19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?
Bullet points for sure and Iâve also found a love of Google Jamboard and Microsoft Journal!
20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?
Depends on what sort of time/motivation I have, really. Long time/No Motivation: Short. No Time/Lots of Motivation: Also short burst. Motivation AND Time (very rare): I will not move from this spot for two hours (mostly short spurts tho)
21) what do you think when you read over your older work?
âNot bad for a fourteen year old!â
22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?
Age Gap and Student/Teacher relationships is a huge squick for me, so Iâd probably never write it. D/s stuff I donât understand enough about so I def wouldnât feel comfortable writing it lmao
25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that youâre particularly proud of
forgot about this one and tbh gave me Big Ouchies. From An Honest Man (spoilers ahead on the off chance anyone is reading it):
âLook, I know the situation doesnât lean favorably in my direction, but we have never lied to each other.â
Christ, he canât take this anymore. Kurt spins around ferociously.
âAll we did was lie to each other!â he snaps, finally letting out a sob. He made it through the mediation, but seeing Blaine face to face is so much harder than he ever could have imagined.
Kurt watches Blaineâs confusion morph into pain as he continues. âI said I didnât love you,â he points at his ex-husband. âAnd you said you did.â
Thank you for this ask Yue!!! Sorry it took so long for me to asnwer lmao BUT UR A REAL ONE <333
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i dont see enough soulmate aus so. inspired by this post by @hyperfixationwizard, soulmate au where drawings and ink on skin show up on ur soulmates skin (not scars bc there would be so fucking much going on with that and im not gonna write abt itdgthfgh)
anyways. soap has always love doodling- with anything. pencil, pen, crayon, marker, whatever he could get his hands on. heâd doodle on anything and everything. the walls (when he was a kid, mainly), paper, cardboard, desks in school, napkins... but by far, his favorite was to draw on his own skin. the thought of his work showing up on someone else, someone he was practically made for and they for him- something that they could share, something that they could keep secret and hold close to their chests- it was enough to make him giddy.
so, he doodled. a pretty flower he saw on his walk to school, curling around his wrist. a bird perched on the bench across from him at the park, taking flight on the back of his hand. the stray cat that hung out on his porch, draped across his thigh. sometimes if he didnt have a notebook with him, messy schematics and notes for devices- no, ma, thats not an explosive, he swears- scrawled on his forearm.
he never sees anything from his soulmate- he checks every single day for any new marks, any words, but he never finds any. still, he keeps drawing. it doesnt usually get to him, the fact that his soulmate doesnt give him responses, but sometimes he cant help but think too much. he wonders if his soulmate likes the drawings, which leads to the thought of them not liking them, or finding them annoying, or if they think theyre bad.
one day, he caves under his thoughts and writes his first question to his soulmate, right under a bundle of primroses- âdo you want me to stop?â
he waits anxiously for hours, not knowing if heâll be able to feel the reply, or if he has to look for it, or if there even will be one-
then he feels it- a sort of pins-and-needles sensation on his left arm. he frantically rolls up his sleeve and his eyes are immediately drawn to the letters that appear on his skin. once the writing stops, he stares with wide eyes at the single word left behind- shaky, smudged, and a bit runny in some spots-
âno.â
and so he doesnt stop.
he keeps drawing, slowly moving from small little doodles of primroses on his arms and songbirds on his hands to sprawling meadows that wrap around his forearms and ravens spreading their wings across his thighs. sometimes he adds words- always short encouragements, positive quotes, or funny thoughts he has. he never gets responses, but he knows that his soulmate is still around by the occasional ink smudge that appears. anytime one appears, he incorporates them into a drawing. sometimes its a silly little doodle, and other times he spends hours creating beautiful, complex landscapes centered around them.
for years, his soulmate holds their silence. soap doesnt mind. he knows that they appreciate his art and words. at least, thats the thought he holds onto. he never holds it against his soulmate- the whole not-responding thing. hes well aware that he can be a lot to handle; hes heard it constantly from the majority of the people in his life. he just hopes that maybe his soulmate can tolerate him more than most.
he was 14 when things changed.
he had gotten home from school, completely ignoring his parents in the kitchen and opting to power walk to his room. it had been a shitty day; he had overslept and missed the bus, causing him to be late to class, and then some dickwads from the year above him decided that he was a good target to snag lunch money from, (really? stealing a kids lunch money? why would they pick something so fucking cliche? god, get some fresh material,) and to top it all off he got a shit grade on his book report.
as usual, his solution to a bad mood is to draw, get his emotions out on a page instead of letting them linger in his mind. unlike usual, though, he decides to bypass his notebook and instead grabs a pen, chooses a clear spot on his arm.
it took a while, but he finally ran out of steam to continue- it had been nearly two hours since he began. he was about to walk over to his bed and flop face down into his pillow when he felt it- the pins-and-needles of words being written that he had only felt once before. his eyes zeroed in on his arm, right under the drawing he had finished.
âtwo goldfish are in a tank. one turns to the other and asks, âdo you know how to drive this thing?ââ
soap snorts, more due to the situation than the shitty joke itself- and rushes to grab his pen again. no chance he was letting this opportunity slip by.
âwhy was the strawberry crying?â
âwhy?â
âbecause he was in a jam.â
and so the night continued like that- they exchanged shitty jokes back and forth for hours that night, up until soap was called for dinner.
#myposting#soaptag#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghost x soap#soap x ghost#ghost/soap#soap/ghost#ghoap#cod mw2#call of duty modern warfare 2#ive been writing this all day and its not actually finished but!!!#mydrabbles
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hello! May I please have a Dabi x fem reader in the lov who likes to draw? I think she finds his scars and stuff to be a work of art in itself and is like (oh heck I gotta sketch this). He glances at what sheâs drawing and she gets all flustered! Maybe he even takes his shirt off at one point which can lead to some other things~ (I like smut but if you think fluff fits the prompt better thatâs alright with me!) Thank you and I love your writing!
a/n: hii! of course love! this is super sweet omg i love dabi, i feel like i dont capture his character very well but imma try like hellđ©đ©this is probably ooc for him but itâs sappy and i love it
summary:Â dabiâs hard to read, but that doesnât stop you from sketching him. you find beauty in his flaws, entranced by his scars, so much so that dabi canât help but be interested in you.
key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk
warnings: swearing, fluff, sappy romance bc i love this man, some spicy themes, one mention of a slight(possible? idrk what counts) manga spoiler (e.g. dabiâs past/history) (manga spoilers in tags!!)
wordcount:Â 2k
;cut due to suggestive themes;
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Itâs never been a really big secret that you liked drawing. But when it comes to working for the league, specifically, the League of Villains, your line of work doesnât allow for very much downtime unless youâre in the midst of planning some sort of attack or rebellion.
Whether or not the league keeps hopping from rendezvous spot to rendezvous spot isnât up to you, but you never fail to get a little used to the eerily calming silence that falls upon the league during the first twenty-four hours of the new four walls that seem to keep you safe for the time being.
With a barely sharpened pencil in your hand, a small drawing pad in the other, youâre staring at Dabi as you sketch him.
It started as a bit of a joke, maybe just teasing him since he liked to tease you about being into him since you were the only one he was really super close, if you could call being the first one he spoke to every time he saw you or the one you sought out to be paired up with during missions, âsuper close.â
But now, it was something you enjoyed.
Dabi was one among the very interesting members of the league. Something about his scars just seemed to entrance you. Pulling you in further and further down a rabbit hole of questions that you had but never let leave past your lips.
It felt wrong to ask, not that it was a bad thing to be curious, but because Dabi was just so mysterious. No one knew anything about him, or about who he was, his past, even his real name was a mystery.Â
It felt wrong to disturb the unnerving peace that was Dabi. The resting expression on his features balancing on a thin cable between anger and poor personal resilience.
Dabiâs scars were the highlight of your sketches, always standing out. What the others may have thought to be ugly, or unattractive, you thought were beautiful, and emotional.
There was a story behind them, one you wanted to know, one you wanted to uncover and read, page by page, line by line, and word for word, discovering just how truly deep Dabiâs past was. But only Dabi could show you that, only Dabi could open that book for you. And you were willing to wait. Youâd wait an eternity if you had too.
His rough raven hair is messy and strewn about as you scribble down his facial features, the groggy lighting making it just a tad difficult to see as you lead the pencil over the warm white paper littered with graphite covered fingerprints.
His arms are positioned on a counter, the art work resembling how he was sitting sloped against the kitchen table, elbows pressed against the dark mahogany wood, hands resting by his mouth as his cerulean eyes peer off at the cracked cement wall in front of him, occasionally glancing back at you.
The other members of the league were scattered about but it didnât bother you. Toga asked you a couple of questions, wondering what you were doing, if you were excited about the new plans and such.
You replied quietly as to not disturb the peace.
But soon some of the members left, going off to go eat or find something to do. And soon you were among the few left behind, along with Dabi, Shigaraki and Mr. Compress.
Having almost finally finished your current sketch, you were stopped by a pair of hands picking up your drawing pad. Rough and calloused fingers drew your pad away and your attention away.
âHey Iâm not finished.â You glanced up at Dabi. Dabi just admired the talent poured into the sketch. Dabi couldnât wrap his head around why you drew him so often, but he didnât mind. It was kind of touching in a way.
âIs that really what I look like?â Dabi joked, handing you back your sketch pad.
âYou have looked in a mirror once before, right?â You titled your head to the side, adding a bit more detail to his scars as you began to draw again.Â
âA few times. But Iâd rather look at you, doll.â Dabiâs hands reached down again, this time pulling at your hands. Leading you out of the room where the other two members sat, finding a way to entertain themselves, Dabi lead you up some stairs in questionable condition.
Picking a random room, he sat down on the rickety bed and waited for you to sit down.
âWhyâs that?â You tease, returning to drawing, looking up at him every few seconds to reference. And to admire him.
âYouâre easy on the eyes, beautiful and-â
âAre you saying youâre not beautiful, Dabi?â You stopped him, not pausing to look at him.
âIâm not beautiful, Iâm gorgeous.â Dabi chuckled, shaking his head jokingly as he laid back against the bed, his head dangling off the opposite end.
âYou are.â You confirm. Finally finishing up your sketch. You get up and walk over to him, handing him the finished sketch.Â
âYou add so much detail to my scars. Theyâre just scars.â The tips of Dabiâs ears flush as heat floods to his face. Heâs flustered but he wonât admit it. He canât understand why you think heâs so beautiful.
You donât speak. For the first time, youâre speechless. You sit down beside Dabi, and now that heâs sitting up, he faces you.
You reach your hands out and gently lift one of his arms, holding one of his hands in your own. You run your fingers across the scarred flesh, gently caressing his skin.Â
His hands are cold compared to your warm fingers. Heâs getting chills all down his spine as you touch him. Itâs not meant to be anything out of the ordinary, but heâs still shocked that heâs letting you touch him.
âYour scars are beautiful. Iâm sure thereâs a story, something about them that might make you hate them, but I love them, and I think they make you that much more beautiful. You are a masterpiece, every scar a carefully calculated brushstroke on a beautiful canvas.â Your words finally come out, overflowing with love. You canât sit quietly anymore.
âDabi you are beautiful.â Your eyes lock with his, and you can tell heâs unsure of what to do.Â
Dabi no longer felt he had the ability to cry, but if heâd let himself, he wouldâve done it in that moment. Being so open and vulnerable around you just happened. It came too easily, and he hated it, but he loved you.
Pulling his arm away form your warm touch, he tossed his jacket off and to the side before tearing his shirt away from his body, allowing you to see his chest, and more of his scar covered skin.
Sitting quietly with a faint blush on your cheeks, you couldnât look away. trying to avoid staring directly at his toned chest and his nipples, you raised your hand and allowed your fingers to sink down across his sternum.
Soon your fingers were met with his abs, which the heat on your face noticed far too well.Â
âSay it again.â Dabi mumbled. You lifted your head to look into his eyes again, your hand still resting against his chest.
âYou are beautiful-â The moment the words left your lips, Dabiâs own lips were pressed against yours. Kissing you roughly, more than he intended too, his hands mangled into yours, pushing your arms over your head.
His heart was pounding and it felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest onto yours. Pulling away for a few seconds, Dabiâs hair covered his eyes as he looked down, finding interest in the collar of your shirt.
âI want you.â Dabiâs words were simple, but they didnât have to be complex. You knew what he meant, and you knew what he wanted. You wanted it too. A chance to see him in a different light, with deeper meaning.
A chance to connect with him, one on one.Â
âThen take me.â Your fingers intertwined with his, your arms still resting above your head. It didnât take long for his lips to magnetize back to yours, sticking to them like glue.
When Dabi thought about sex, he didnât come anywhere close to making love. There wasnât that sort of option when it came to him. He didnât think he was at all capable of love, let alone a relationship that was going to have any sort of emotional connection strong enough to make him feel stable.
But you, you were so vastly different from anyone heâd ever fucked. So different from an excuse to get his dick wet, to get his mind off of league business or heaven forbid, his past.
But you, you were what he needed, what he wanted. It was far from therapy, but itâd work. Having you around was like a drug, addicting, and heâd be going through withdrawals if he couldnât have you.
Feeling you, touching you, fucking you, kissing you, it was fuel to his fire. He was damaged goods, broken and shattered, impossible to put together, but you were doing your best, working on the smallest parts, exercising precautions, and opening your heart to him.
Hearing his name in the form of your moans as he rutted into you, your legs wrapped tightly around his hips drove him wild, much like the way your hands tangled into his hair, forcing his head into your chest where he kissed and sucked on your skin, leaving marks.
Your moans and his own grunts of pleasure were spewing from the locked room. Dabi didnât care if the others heard, he was enjoying the moment.
Every part of it. Every part of you, every part of your body, your words, your love. And before he knew, Dabi was at his highest, his face flush against your naked chest, breathing heavily as he inhaled your scent.
Still inside you, he didnât move, allowing the two of you to catch your breath. It was in this moment, if Dabi allowed himself to cry, he wouldâve cried a second time. He was so infatuated with you, so attached.
âI love you.â Your words scared him, causing his cerulean eyes to peak at you through locks of his noir hair.
âThatâs stupid.â Dabi kissed your sternum, kissing up your chest, stopping at your neck to leave a little mark, only to meet at your lips in the end.
âHow?â You ask softly, your hands massaging his scalp as his lips hover over yours.
âI canât explain it, it just is.â Dabi frowned, trying to understand what your eyes were saying as they clouded with emotion.
âLove is complex, and I think that maybe youâve never really had good experiences with it. If youâd let me, I could show you just how beautiful it can be.â You offer, a small smile on your lips.
âIf you feel the need-â
âI do. I love you, and I want you to know love.â You kissed his forehead. Dabi eventually pulled out, not minding the mess, heâd clean up later.Â
âI want you to know why I love you.â You whispered, hugging him closer to you.
âWhy I love your scars, your hands, your strength, the rasp in your voice, all of it. I love.â Dabiâs arms are strung over your waist as he lays, face nuzzled in your neck. Itâs a bit of a stretch for him, and he feels out of place, but itâs oddly comfortable.
The next couple of times you draw Dabi, you ask to see him shirtless again. And with every new sketch, thereâs something new to be learned, for Dabi. Heâs learning about love, and loving you.Â
He finds that you still draw him incredibly cute, and though he wonât admit it, he loves when you draw him. Heâll pose for you if you ever ask, and you always tease him a little about how it was like he was born to be a model.
Itâs a long road ahead of you, but itâs one youâre willing to take, to show Dabi just how important love is.
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masterlist
#dabi#dabi x reader#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha#bnha#my hero academia x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#touya todoroki#touya todoroki x reader#touya#touya x reader
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HIIIII!! can i get a pieck finger dating headcanons if thatâs alright with you of course? your stuff makes me soft, stay safe!
yuh âŒïž tysm for your request
pieck finger dating headcanons (modern au)
pieck finger x gn!reader
warnings: literal fluff, no angst or anything i love pieck
- bc pieck is assumed to be like 23-26 this wont be a uni au or anything
- idk i rlly think you guys wouldve met in a mundane way
- like you bump into her on the sidewalk and try to the really awkward "oh im so sorry i didnt see you there- no really it was my fault- are you sure youre okay ?- okay great- no im not hurt- yeah- okay have a good day and again im so sorry !!" thing with her
- and then maybe you guys see each other again at a coffee place, youre there with your friends and shes there with hers, and you dont wanna talk to her obv bc that would be awkward
- then ur friend makes u go and order another coffee for them, and while youre waiting for your order pieck comes and stands beside you
- and shes very observant yknow ?? if she sees a face its very hard for her to forget it
- so she immediately recognizes you and blurts out "its you !"
- and you have to be like "oh yeah ! it is me ! its you too"
- she finds it quite cute and giggles about it
- a very laidback person but also a very blunt person
- she doesnt find any harm in asking "can i get your instagram @" look she doesnt wanna be a creep and ask for ur number right at the start
- and it gives her a chance to find out what kind of person you are
- it would absolutely suck for her if such a cute face was posting fishing pictures and alt right propaganda yknow ??
- so you two do and then both of your orders come so you two give awkward goodbyes before going back to your groups
- her instagram is very pretty, nice themes
- she posted a couple of hours ago, with her and her friends in a park, taking a couple of posed photos while some looking like they were natural
- shes adorable and you cant help but feel your cheeks go warm as you basically stalk her page
- she dms you and says "are you too busy looking at my feed that you havent followed me yet ?" and you see this mf staring at you across the room like đïžđïž
- okay nosy lets calm down now đđ€
- you try to defend urself but ur typing so quick you keep making errors in your writing, she ends up saying something else
"you know, i was doing the exact same thing. youre beautiful you know"
- thank you pieck đ„°
- over the next couple of weeks thats how you two communicate. she'll send you instagram memes and edits of her favourite shows, movies, games etc. and you find yourself having a lot in common w her
- you check her story so frequently it becomes one of the first accounts on the top of your homepage
- and FINALLY, when she feels she can see you as a friend and not just some pretty stranger she met on the street she asks you out
- it was a simple thing, just to the movies, and she even let you pick which one !! (imagine its pre covid idfk)
- you two go and its an awkward hug before you both head inside
- you pay for your tickets and she gets an extra large popcorn and a drink
- you assume shes just v hungry but before you can order yourself something shes like "what are you doing i got this for us !!"
- rlly cute bitch omfg
- during the movies, after she eats literally most of the fucking popcorn, she pulls your hand out of your lap and holds it with her buttery one đ„°đ€
- this bitch had crumbs and didnt even think to wipe them off
- you still held her hand tho anyways
- after that night you parted ways in front of the theater after making sure you two would be getting home safe
- and that became routine for a couple of weeks, not going to the movies obviously bc thats expensive but watching movies together !! youd go over to her apartment or she would come over to yours
- one thing about pieck is that shes very touchy
- one way or another she will end up cuddled with you on the couch
- it doesnt matter if its you being forcefully pulled on top of her body or her draping herself over you like shes a blanket, you two WILL be cuddling and you WILL enjoy it
- but finally, as if the gods gave you mercy, she finally kissed you
- it felt so nice, her lips were soft and sticky from her lip gloss and she tasted like the swedish berries you had gotten for her to munch on
- and the rest of the movie you two just sat there, kissing each other and giggling like teens
- she ended up staying the night, and complimented your bedsheets
- your relationship moved pretty fast after that
- she had already told all of her friends about you, they werent very surprised
- when you got officially introduced her friends zeke and porco tried to do that whole "if you hurt her.." speech before she slapped them and had marcel pull you away to safety
- other than that the night was very fun, you got to talking about your career, why you moved to the city, and other mundane topics
- pieck is actually a graphic designer, and everytime she comes to sleep over she just HAS to bring her laptop with her
- its basically just her laying in between your legs while she types away, youll pet her hair and lay soft kisses on her neck, and occasionally ask what shes doing
- she likes to tell you, has no problem in answering the questions you have, even if you think theyre stupid ones, shes very soft with you
- also a bit of a trickster
- for your first april fools together she slept over, you didnt have anything planned for her bc youre a good person and wont hurt the ones you love
- she stuffed your breakfast muffin with mustard đđ
- you gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day until she apologized by getting you a new muffin
- now she always dropped the l bomb to you, but she never needed you to say it
- thats why, when you were helping her cook dinner at her place you softly said "see ? and thats why i love you" she kind of,,, stopped what she was doing
- you realized why she wasnt washing the knife she used to cut your vegetables and tried to backtrack, but it was too late, she was already tackling you into a hug and taking you down onto the floor
- she just gave you kisses while repeating "i love you i love you i love you" over and over again
- bc of her you burnt ur fucking chicken smh
- you spent that night eating junk food and watching movies
- piecks a very observant person, so she always knows when youre sad too
- when you give that little huff when you come home to your (new !) shared apartment she knows something is up
- she'll slowly trail behind you as you walk to your bedroom, stripping to your underwear and changing into your pajamas
- you crawl into bed just wanting a nap to forget about the day, and she'll crawl in with you and hold you
- you never like to cry but youre so frustrated and upset at your coworkers, at that rude customer, at those deadlines, that you just breakdown
- and she lets you, she lets you almost suffocate yourself in her chest with how much your pushing your head into it, she strokes your hair while you choke on your own cries and hands you tissues when you need to blow your nose
- "what do you need my love ?" "i just need you" "okay baby"
- communication is a big thing in the relationship, and because shes been so open and honest from the beginning, talking about how you feel has never been easier
- in fact, you like talking about how you feel about your relationship, or how you didnt like what pieck said to your friends the other day, this and that, you feel comfortable and safe with pieck no matter what, which makes talking about even the most hardest things seem so simple and natural
- all in all, even when she wakes you up with spontaneous ice cream dates or asks that you put raisins in the popcorn during movie night, even with the fights and the crying and the exhaustion the next day, life would be much duller without her, and you only have to thank your clumsy self
uhh i feel like this is very short but yeah â€ïž requests are open so go crazy mfs âŒïž
#attack on titan#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan x reader#hange zoe#pieck finger headcanons#pieck finger x reader#pieck finger#pieck x reader#pieck headcanons#pieck aot#marcel galliard#porco galliard#porco galliard x reader#zeke jaeger x reader#zeke yeager x reader
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Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE
a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem
this is for @what-a-creative-usernameâ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you đ„ș
and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :â) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo
anon:
- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?
- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! đ„ș cuz heâs my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends
OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH
so basically yea
as seen in a lot of the parts,
oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you
like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females
maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?
the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from himÂ
yanno the works
yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him
ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?
hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that
so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him
like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you
he did it all
it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms
because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU
ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone
he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand
oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon
this brings us here in the gym today
ây/n-chan, do you want to go-â
âoikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentionsâ
the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side
ây/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~â
he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him
god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh
so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him
âthe moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leaveâ
you bargained but he gasped
âwhat?! then whatâs the point of-â
âso you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?â
you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you
âfine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?â
he was still fussy but he accepted it
oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?
they fall for boys who give them everything, right?
nope
so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that
idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho
his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food
ây/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!â
he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you
âoikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for femalesâ
im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two
oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened
he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier
your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up
but your shock morphed into being upset
âoikawa-san, listen here. you had-â
but he waved you off with a smile
âno, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!â
you rolled your eyes
âplease stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriendâ
he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough
ây/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubbornâ
he growled softly
wHAT iS hE sAYinG
you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity
ây/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!â
you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes
âoikawa-san, iâd rather you save your money and rest your injuries insteadâ
you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop
âbut i want to be with you, y/n-chanâ
he whispered and you blinked
âi dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just usâ
he nodded eagerly
âwe can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with meâ
then he found himself in a bookstore with you
it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together
the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin
he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out
ây/n-chan, iâll go use the bathroom really quicklyâ
you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom
your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry
oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before
so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped
it was so,,, domesticÂ
seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words
it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?
the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you likedÂ
the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own
you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder
ââcome, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love againââ
he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle
âyou read poetry?â
you whispered and oikawa chuckled
âof course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poetâ
he reasoned and you laughed
âyet you fail to sway me, oikawa-sanâ
âno, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!â
you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck
âhmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys aroundâ
oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip
âi love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to beâ
he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest
âso not fair oikawa-sanâ
you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles
âehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!â
he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter
âhah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!â
you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:
âbut what a beautiful mess you areâ
okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!
once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer
âhmm, oikawa-san, thereâs this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think youâd like itâ
you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk
oikawaâs hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks
he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space
âsure!â
the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above
however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position
âhowâd you know i would like this, y/n-chan?â
he asked and you gave him an obvious look
âhah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the busâ
your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him
you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before
except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it
you noticed it all
âthat right there, its the big dipper!â
you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding
âyep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!â
he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you
âreally,, prettyâ
you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you
âbut its different to look at something much more beautifulâ
this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes
âi want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going awayâ
he said and you nodded
you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created
âoikawa-san, lets go to the star festival laterâ
you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic
so he covered it up with his own teasingÂ
âoh? the meeting of the two lovers?â
you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the âLâ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks
âoh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!â
you pouted and turned away
ânever mindâ
oikawaâs laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks
the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt
and you loved every moment of it
after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted
it wasnt the first time heâs openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning
yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??
you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you
whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could
the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door
or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out
âdarling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop itâ
you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand
âoh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!â
you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room
tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this
he was happy
you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love
but,,,,,,,,,
it didnt last long
albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you
it was,,, awkward
maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato
forget potato, youre now a tomato
but even his touches and affections were now limited
restricted
like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning
but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly
âah ha ha, hey y/n-chanâ
oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym
god you felt like you were slapped in the face
you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly
was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?
usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you
no, you were just,,,,
overreacting
right?
yea, just,,,
overreacting
iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawaâs off expression
you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice
big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch
he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back
âwh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?â
he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes
âuh-yea. mhm, perfectly fineâ
you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them
but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions
while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him
oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too
âoi, what the hell did you doâ
there was an underlying tone in his best friendâs voice that he didnt particularly like
oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face
âhm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?â
âwhat the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weirdâ
oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth
he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too
god hes so dumb
but he,,, was going through stuff right now
it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you inÂ
and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house
okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(
it certainly brought him pain
this was what he wanted though, right?
he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls
but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings
oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh
initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet
this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you
and by god, he was so scared
he wanted to run away
because he was well aware of his personality and him as a personÂ
he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart
he didnt want that responsibility and burden
it was too risky
oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer
you would be the one hit with the blast the most
maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself
it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldnât be him
the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face
can you imagine the irony?
the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away
.......
practice was,,, suffocating?Â
the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same
oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried
did you both fight?
what happened?
when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you
âoi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?â
makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing
but they were surprised when he shrugged
âdont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about itâ
if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen
you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,
ânothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!â
that answer didnt bother you
it was his smile
the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you
now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls
what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm
they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the teamâs wide eyes and concerned looks to you
you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles
he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym
you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky
âthe sky is very pretty todayâ
he complimented but it wasnt heard by you
you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face
âoh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy facesâ
he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds
you scrunched your nose and scoffed
âi dont understand you, mattsun-sanâ
you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers
mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above
ây/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunsetâ
it felt all muddled
there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand
âmattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?â
he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy
âwho knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?â
you blanched
âmattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!â
mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear
âthats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?â
you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team
but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker
leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym
oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you,Â
more specifically,
you
he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsunâs elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head
yes this was what it was supposed to be
you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile
he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault
no
he will stop that from happening way before it would occur
he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up
it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,
he wants you away from him
oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldnât get the girl he wishes for the most
dear god was it laughable
after practice was finished,
you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there
these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts
if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,
it was not knowing whyÂ
that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theoriesÂ
did you chew too loudly when you ate?
were you boring and not as fun as the others?
was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?
has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?
that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear
throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you
but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there
you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace
but ofcÂ
hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face
quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears
you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops
âi cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crushâ
he chuckled
you took a shaky breath and wiped your face
âthis was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!â
you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back
âi mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to swayâ
you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued
âbut to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that wayâ
you nodded, laughing weakly
âi dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so itâll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?â
but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope
ârather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen momsâ
the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldnât help but think about it
GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!
BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF
all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his toes
oikawa licking his-
ây/n?â
you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you
kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look
ây/n, something mustâve happened that day with captainâ
kunimi started but kindaichi snapped
âsee?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!â
you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm
âo-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than thatâ
âbut clearly not because look at you!â
he shouted and you flinchedÂ
kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor
âget ahold of yourself, kindaichiâ
he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion
was it obvious?
was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?
nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit
youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal
but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes
as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway,Â
you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom
and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you
despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows
he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside
âoikawa-senpai~~â
she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wristÂ
your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact
through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead
please dont go to her
please
stay with me
dont go
but he went in anyways
------
that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore
as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now
everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage
you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it
there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most
you were easily led on
he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile
he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another
kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions
even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention
you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him
âwhatâ
he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern
âuh-i-are you okay?â
he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways
ânever betterâ
you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girlâs locker room to change into your manager outfit
your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing
âwhats wrong with all of youâ
you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm
âcmere. i missed youâ
he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side
âwhy-â
âhe told me what happenedâ
iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms
âw-what?â
iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall
he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins
âyou-you are a piece of shit!â
he shouted and he moved to grab oikawaâs collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes
âyou think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!â
iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor
oikawa was crying
not from the beating
but from his regrets
god he knew he messed up
he shouldnt have done it
but he did
iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friendâs bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa
âright now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me godâ
he hissedÂ
oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest
âim so scaredâ
he sobbed
âim so scared, iwa-chanâ
his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries
âi-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!â
he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair
âit was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!â
âhow could you tell she-â
âBECAUSE OF HER EYES!â
even iwa flinched
âHER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!â
there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?
âim missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?â
his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration
âDONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!â
he shrieked
thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown
âSO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHOâS TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!â
iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest
oikawa tooru was having a panic attack
he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry
âyoure such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesnât she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other peopleâs feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for youâ
iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it
however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you
iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug
but he whispered something in your ear
âeveryone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for themâ
you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about
he mustve known what happened but hes defending him
you clenched your jaw and looked away
âi destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twiceâ
you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes
you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities
you were about to go to the coach and tell him youâd look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself
but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip
your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second
âwhat happened to youâ
you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you
his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you
this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it
he missed hearing you
his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on
the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye
your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face
âyoure the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone elseâ
you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back
âit was iwa-chanâ
he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow
âwhat? why did he-â
then you froze
iwa knew
and he beat oikawa up for it
he fought his best friend for it
and iwa didnt look fazed at all
despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising
yet why was he so clean
it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back
no
you must stop
youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before
however
oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand
âi,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-â
he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now
the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach
âcoach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmaryâ
he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear
oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door
it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation
it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment
âi fcked up, y/nâ
your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor
âi messed up so badâ
he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath
âoika-â
you made a move to turn around but he stopped you
âno! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at youâ
he cried and you nodded
oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting
âi want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to meâ
you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes
âyou,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of meâ
when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him
fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression
âi-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooruâ
you seethed
your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry
âi hate you, i hate you, i hate youâ
you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking
his world was now falling apart
he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment
âyoure so selfish, impulsive, and terribleâ
you whined and punched his shoulder at each word
âbut i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!â
you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms
it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck
âim so sorryâ
he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist
you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just cryingÂ
after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping
âyoure selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid youâll go ahead and do something stupid againâ
he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter
âi dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myselfâ
and by god did he become selfish
it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him
YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY
natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it
âi didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to youâ
he promised and you laughed
you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling
you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it
then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him
âjust continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask forâ
then graduation came
of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day
you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before
then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you
the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands
it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present
for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki
oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter
you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say
until you softly grabbed his hand
âcome in. i want,,, to talkâ
you mumbled and oikawaâs eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out
it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known
right?
you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed
FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS
ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?
oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side
ây/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?â
he asked
but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor
âfor graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you thisâ
you finally met his eyes
then he knew
oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder
ây-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-â
âaccept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other firstâ
KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?
OKAY
-----
oikawa was running in the airport
despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside
the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed insideÂ
when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career
they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past
hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends
âeh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? whatâs next? flying sushi?â
he joked and hinata laughed
âit was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!â
the previous smile on oikawaâs face slipped at the mention of youÂ
âhmm,,,, she always made the impossible happenâ
he mumbled and hinata nodded
âl/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasnât busyâ
the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid
âyou guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasunoâ
then hinata said something that caused the brunetteâs ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar
âit wasnât a problem since coach ukai took care of her sonâ
oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment
there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan
he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full
but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself
it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were
iwaizumi
oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call
he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up
âdamn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-â
âiwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?â
of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years
âwha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawaâ
âdont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my sonâ
he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quicklyÂ
how did he figure out
âoi, oikawa, listen to me she-â
âplease! dont!â
he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him
âdont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!â
âwhy should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?â
oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone
iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart
poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much
âi swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-â
but of course,
oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision
the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him
oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)
âthis is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, youâll lose me tooâ
the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest timeÂ
the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on
what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated
would you let him in?
would you even want to see him?
would you punch him?
would you cry?
he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump
âUNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,â
the door opened and the boyâs voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face
oikawa was stunned
was this the right apartment?
did iwaizumi trick him?
but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell
similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked
ây-y/n? h-hey!â
he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there
you were hyperventilating inside
how did he find you?
why is he here?
does he know?
âmama? whoâs that oji?â
the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son
you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly
âyoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?â
yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room
once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator
âwould you like some tea before you go?â
you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head
it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him
as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside
his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear
this was where you lived
with your son
who was his son too
there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier
it was at the planetarium nearby and tooruâs heart bloomed at the sparkle in that childâs eyes
jesus, he was beautiful
âyozora. thats his nameâ
you said, noticing him staring at the picture
KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!
ânight skyâ
oikawa whispered
the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you
ân-nice placeâ
he stuttered out
you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup
âits natsuâs and katsukiâs actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with themâ
you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive
âo-oh? ho-how is he-â
âoikawa-san, what are you doing here?â
he visibly flinched
calling him by his last name stung since you called him âtooruâ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing
âi,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mineâ
you let out a humorless chuckle
a scoff
then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes
âwhat makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?â
out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea
ânothingâ
you whispered
he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry
but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms
âgo ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for godâs sakeâ
âyou would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your graveâ
he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself
the dry laugh you let out made him fidget
âand you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i canât? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happenedâ
you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him
you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back
but you still invited him in anyways
oikawa snapped his head up
âyou cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we haveâ
âwhat he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawaâ
âbut why did you keep him from me?â
he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why
âi had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-â
âmama?â
a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him
oikawa yozora was exactly like his father
from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes
KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAIâS VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!
he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son
um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me
so oikawa was right
yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you
yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away
sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child
but you kept him because he means the world to you
and the world he holds are in his eyes
âi,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy tooâ
he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you
his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw
if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs
he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level
âhello, my name is oikawa tooruâ
he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him
âyou oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!â
yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms
âoh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, ojiâsâ
your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on
you kept his last name
you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky
my god, you are so,,,Â
â--the book. oji? do you?â
he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder
tooru blinked and looked at him
âhuh?â
âi ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happyâ
not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him
the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted
âthis way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit thereâ
tooruâs heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch
the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small âthank youâ
âmy mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!â
tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off
âwhy you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cryâ
he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong
that book was oikawaâs
the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son
you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying
âyoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?â
you fussed and sat down next to oikawa
yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room
GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON
âa-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!â
yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa
âme too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like himâ
he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer
âmama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!â
you couldnt even believe what was going on right now
not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him
you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first
âyozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after allâ
OKAY THAT WAS IT
YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA
out of shock, you slapped him across the face
causing yanno what happened
oikawa screamed
a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop đ„ș đđ
ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#aoba josai fluff#seijoh fluff
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Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan
request:Â Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry
genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol)Â
pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!)Â
word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried awayÂ
tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thingÂ
a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYEÂ
âHey, you free to get lunch later?â Youâd bumped into your friend who worked in the companyâs legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss.Â
You nodded, âuh-huh,â mixing the coffee absently, âwhat are you doing here?âÂ
Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, âfelt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.âÂ
âWhy?âÂ
Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, âcanât say, but youâll find out soon enough.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).
âWhoâs that for?â Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray.Â
âMr Bangâs supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that itâs for his nephew,â you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you.Â
âShit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesnât drink coffee. Do you want this?â You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee.Â
Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, âhow exciting your job is, huh,â he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, âwanna reconsider joining the legal department now?âÂ
You rolled your eyes.Â
âIâm perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.âÂ
Youâd prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, âand plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, Iâm more than happy.âÂ
Seungmin scoffed, âshouldâve known it was because of the money.âÂ
âAlright, Iâve gotta go, see you later,â you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away.Â
Reaching the door of your bossâ office, youâd been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, youâd pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.
Setting the pot of tea on the table, youâd cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when youâd spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually.Â
His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two.Â
Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you.Â
âY/N, please, stay here. Iâd like to discuss something with you and my nephew.âÂ
Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, âohâŠcool, alright.âÂ
âPlease, take a seat,â Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you.Â
âSo, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,â Mr Bang gestured to you, âY/N, this is my nephew, uh⊠Chris,â he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time.Â
âSo, sweetheart, because Iâve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that Iâm planning on handing my position over to Chris.âÂ
Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with.Â
You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, âwill my contract be terminated, then?âÂ
Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than heâd expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that youâd already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.
Of course, he didnât want to underestimate you, but knowing the directorsâ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasnât sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasnât quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive.Â
âThat⊠is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.âÂ
You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt.Â
âWeâll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.âÂ
You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise.Â
As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, âIâm sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.âÂ
Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time.Â
You watched as Chris shrugged.
âWeâll see.âÂ
===Â
âWho?â Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you.Â
âChris Bang. Heâs gonna take over the company from President Bang.âÂ
Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, âdoesnât that make them both âPresident Bangâ?â
Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, âthis was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you wouldâve known who he was by now,â he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasnât giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job.Â
âYou know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy thatâs been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,â Seungmin gave you a âduhâ look, considerably unamused.Â
âOh,â only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. Youâd heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything heâd set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company theyâd ever seen.Â
Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it couldâve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasnât just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.
At the time, youâd made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon.Â
âYeah, âoh,â Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, âwhy dâyou seem soâŠ,â Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, âabout it, anyway? Shouldnât you be happy? Heâs super nice!âÂ
You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.
âI donât know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if Iâm gonna be fired since itâs not up to Mr Bang anymore.âÂ
âWhich one?â Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little.Â
Seungmin continued, âyouâre just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.âÂ
You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasnât entirely wrong.Â
âAnd because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. Iâm not gonna get any life advice from someone thatâs basically my age.âÂ
Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, âtransfer to the legal department.âÂ
You sighed, âno, I still love my pay.âÂ
âThen stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy Iâve met, youâll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,â Seungmin shrugged, âitâll be smooth sailing from then on.âÂ
===Â
You figured you shouldâve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang.Â
The action itself didnât sit right with Chris, who didnât understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there.Â
His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill.Â
âY/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,â Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chrisâ eyebrows raise in surprise.Â
âReally? What did you study?â He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didnât miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that heâd spent a large chunk of his life in Australia.Â
Tipping the bottle, youâd answered (albeit a little preoccupied).Â
âLaw,â you sat back on your heels, âminored in journalism.âÂ
Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you wouldâve chosen to work here as his uncleâs secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own.Â
âHowâd you end up working for my uncle, then?â He voiced, your attention diverted when youâd been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face.Â
Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how youâd felt under the attention of the directors. Â
âDid it as a temp job at first,â you told him, âbut I guess I realised halfway that I donât mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.âÂ
Chris hummed, you âdonât mindâ this?Â
One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, âyou shouldnât worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,â he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing.Â
âI always told her sheâd do well as a housewife. That way she wouldnât have to work and just mooch off her husband.âÂ
You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way youâd just let their comments slide.Â
âMaybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,â Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks. Â
Chrisâ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender.Â
âWhat? Just speaking off of observation.âÂ
You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You werenât sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), âexcuse me?âÂ
âIâm sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?â Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead.Â
 You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly.Â
âDidnât know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,â you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture.Â
Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chrisâ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment.Â
âI donât know, maybe itâs just a little unbelievable to me that Iâm supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,â your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight.Â
âYou donât know anything about me,â Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior.Â
Mr Bang had tapped Chrisâ calf harshly, âenough, donât keep y/n from eating.âÂ
Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you.Â
âBut then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?â He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm.Â
You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, âyou know what? Iâd rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.â You scoffed.Â
Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, youâd scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards.Â
Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about.Â
That night, youâd called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway.Â
âI mean, isnât it good, then? That you can find another job?â Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard.Â
âThatâs not the point,â you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw.Â
seungmin (personal)Â 2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.-Â
âThe point is that, heâs arrogant. What? Telling me that Iâm only here to look pretty?ââÂ
âIn his defence, you insulted him first.âÂ
You glared at your boyfriend, âYeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I donât know, something about him just pisses me off,â you tried to reason, your boyfriendâs kisses beginning to distract you from your anger.Â
âYou know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe heâs not as bad as he seems?âÂ
And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you wouldâve always done, grabbing your bossâ morning coffee before going to the office, âleisurelyâ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man.Â
Upon reaching your desk, youâd set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bangâs schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering.Â
âY/N! Just the person I wanted to see.â You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.
âYou have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,â you informed him. Â
âRight, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?âÂ
You nodded, âyeah, sure.âÂ
âIf all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week iâm here.âÂ
You frowned, âitâs a shame youâre retiring, you know,â your disappointment was evident in your tone. Â
Mr Bang simply waved you off, âitâs about time, Iâm sure little Chris will do a good job.âÂ
Youâd kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, âshall we head down a little earlier, then?âÂ
You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when youâd reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like youâd never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks.Â
Excusing yourself quickly, youâd gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, youâd pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach.Â
Making your way around the table, youâd distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea.Â
Once the meeting had started, youâd dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and youâd heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in.Â
Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting.Â
Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, âwell, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. Iâm sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,â he pat Chris on the back.Â
You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when youâd heard him speak, âY/N, Iâd like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?â He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off.Â
âOf course, sheâs not my secretary anymore, remember?â You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily. Â
You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take.Â
âWhatâs this?âÂ
"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle.Â
"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to."Â
Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate.Â
"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief.Â
He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?"Â
"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day."Â
You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm.Â
"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?"Â
Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously.Â
"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged.Â
"You have one whole year to prove that to me."Â
In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ). Â
1. Sleep was a luxury.Â
In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity.Â
You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him.Â
In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then.Â
Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was âabout time you do your jobâ, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed.Â
Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms. Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order.Â
You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch.Â
Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out.Â
Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late.Â
"Shit!"Â
Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach.Â
"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes.Â
"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay.Â
Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror.Â
"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when youâd let your hair down.Â
Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office.Â
Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right?Â
You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace.Â
Finally reaching your floor, youâd made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chrisâ gaze as he was presenting to the room.Â
Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), youâd let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could.Â
Keeping your head down, youâd felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious.Â
âYour hairâs a mess,â she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp.Â
âDude! Put your hair back down, your neck,â she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chrisâ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.
Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, âI see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?âÂ
You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldnât be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream.Â
Chris had started to assign things that heâd wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you.Â
Unfortunately for you, that wasnât the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk.Â
âIn my office, please,â he murmured.Â
You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you.Â
âCan you explain to me what happened this morning?âÂ
Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, âI uh..I didnât umâŠI didnât hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.âÂ
Chrisâ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, âso is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?âÂ
âNo, yeah of course it isââÂ
âThen I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,â he continued, âIâm not saying you canât make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.âÂ
Youâd let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, âIâm sorry,â you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, âam I fired?âÂ
Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. âNo, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I wonât hesitate to fire you,â his voice was stern, annoyed almost.Â
âAnd Y/N, if this,â you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, âis whatâs the issue here. Iâd suggest you start prioritising.âÂ
âSorry. It wonât happen again, I swear,â you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment.Â
Youâd jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chrisâ voice sounding through the phone, âIs there a problem, Y/N?âÂ
Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, âno, no! Not at all. There was just a⊠a bug here.âÂ
Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure.Â
2. Chris was a workaholicÂ
It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be.Â
After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him.Â
You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk.Â
Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already.Â
"Working late again?"Â
You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right?Â
You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh.Â
"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin.Â
"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment.Â
"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris.Â
"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was).Â
"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office.Â
Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors, placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly.Â
Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes.Â
He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask.Â
"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything."Â
You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris.Â
Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon."Â
Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now.Â
Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you.Â
"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain.Â
Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you.Â
"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well.Â
"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night.Â
10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning -Â
Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry.Â
And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was thatÂ
3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you.Â
After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too).Â
The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him.Â
Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments.Â
"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke.Â
Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries.Â
"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like.Â
"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?"Â
You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him."Â
You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed.Â
Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him."Â
Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"
You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning."Â
Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school.Â
Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention.Â
"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway.Â
Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?"Â
"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something."Â
You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now."Â
Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh."Â
"What's that supposed to mean?"Â
You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling.Â
You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right?Â
Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?"Â
You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply.Â
"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you."Â
"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?"Â
Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about."Â
"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious.Â
The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming.Â
"Let's break up."Â
You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words.Â
"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that."Â
Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship."Â
You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?"Â
"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank.Â
"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before."Â
Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further.Â
"When did it start?"Â
"That doesn't matter-"Â
You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know."Â
"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss."Â
You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was.Â
"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting.Â
Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office."Â
You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went. Â
The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it.Â
Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things.Â
The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer.Â
"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people."Â
You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please.Â
"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions.Â
"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you."Â
Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know."Â
Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now.Â
"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?"Â
Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more.Â
"Who's calling you?" he asked.Â
You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff.Â
"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye."Â
You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas.Â
And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time.Â
Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'.Â
===Â
You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chrisâ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed.Â
Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you.Â
You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out.Â
Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.
Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting.Â
While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing.Â
For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room.Â
Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him.Â
You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder.Â
"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat."Â
(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more.Â
âWhy canât you just tell her yourself?âÂ
Chan scoffed, âknowing her, sheâs just gonna think I was looking at her⊠chest or something.âÂ
Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, âwell, were you?âÂ
Chan waved him off with a groan, âjust tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.â)
You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries.Â
"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug.Â
"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway."Â
(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words).Â
After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things.Â
"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt.Â
"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"Â
Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles
"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors.Â
"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers.Â
"No, mom. Iâve told you already, iâm really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one."Â
Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.
"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you.Â
You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried.Â
Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chrisâ tie and shirt.Â
Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasnât you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly.Â
âItâs fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,â he laughed.Â
Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too?Â
You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as youâd watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when youâd cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically.Â
âWhere did you keep the spare change of clothes?â Chris asked as heâd begun loosening his tie.Â
You hadnât responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes.Â
âYou can go and get changed, Iâll wait here,â you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie.Â
God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldnât make you late for your lunch appointment.Â
Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom.Â
Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best âChris accentâ.
âYou should be accountable for your mistakes! Donât you know how many people youâre inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,â you held up the tie with a gasp, âand my secretaryâs gonna be late for her lunch meeting!â You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk.Â
âYeah! Do you know how much youâre inconveniencing me? I donât ask you to show up to work to waste my timeââÂ
Youâd stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him.Â
âHaving fun?âÂ
âNo,â you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long heâd been standing there.Â
Walking over to you, heâd handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they werenât supposed to be doing.Â
âYou know, sometimes I wish youâd talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.âÂ
Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued.Â
âGet these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stainâll be harder to get out the longer you wait.âÂ
You huffed, already walking away from him, âwell, when you say it like that Iâd might as well go do it now.âÂ
You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk.Â
"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was.Â
"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris.Â
"Director Kang's here to see you."Â
"Okay, send him in."
Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room.Â
"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?"Â
Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."
"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?"Â
Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her."Â
The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter.Â
"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked.Â
The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me."Â
Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."
You nodded, exiting quickly.
"What did you come to tell me about?"Â
"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?"Â
Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious."Â
This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend."Â
"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?"Â
Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend."Â
Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?"Â
"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type."Â
As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?"Â
He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'.Â
Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kangâs attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright.Â
"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today."Â
Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice?Â
"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today.Â
Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender.Â
âOkay, okay, Iâll go.âÂ
On your way out, youâd texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when sheâd told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now.Â
Youâd managed to drop off Chrisâ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table.Â
âHey! Wow, you look great!â She told you, giving you a hug in greeting.Â
âFeel a lot better compared to last year,â you joked, making her frown.Â
âYour boss still giving you trouble?âÂ
Shrugging, youâd taken a seat, ânothing out of the ordinary. Seems like itâs part of his daily routine to annoy me.âÂ
She laughed, âI ordered our food already, if you donât mind.âÂ
Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, âno, yeah, I donât mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, howâve you been?âÂ
You didnât miss the way sheâd leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring.Â
Your eyes widened, âno way.âÂ
She nodded, âI wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,â she told you, making you pout.Â
âWhenâs the wedding?â You asked.Â
âNext week. Weâre going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,â she told you, âreally romantic, too,â she added as an afterthought.Â
You let out a deep sigh, âI hope youâre not going where I think youâre going with this.âÂ
She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, âfirst of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!âÂ
You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, âwell, not that Iâve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is singleâŠâ she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin.Â
âWeâve been through this a million times, Eujin. Iâve tried but itâs really hard to find a guy thatâs willing to cope with⊠you know, my kind of schedule,â you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, âand with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.âÂ
Eujinâs lips twisted into a frown, âbut itâs been so long! Donât you want to get back in the dating scene?âÂ
You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite.Â
âOf course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,â you huffed, âI mean, my bossâ working hours means my working hours, shouldnât they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that heâs basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.âÂ
Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, âIâd say I pitied you, but itâs not like you canât get a job anywhere else, you know?âÂ
Youâd kept your mouth shut at that, âI know⊠it just⊠I canât just leave when Iâve already gotten so used to how things work here.âÂ
Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day.Â
You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally.Â
You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment.Â
âWhatâs the program gonna be like?âÂ
Eujinâs eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, âOkay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,â she told you, holding her finger up.Â
âFirstly, on Thursday night weâll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,â she said, now holding up four fingers to you.Â
Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off.Â
âI hope my boss will let me take time offâŠâ you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him.Â
Eujin gave you a resolute look, âyou can do it! If he says no just let me know, Iâll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.âÂ
===Â
âHow many days?âÂ
Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since sheâd happened to be in the business district.Â
You fiddled with your pen anxiously, âuh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just donât bother me on that weekend itâs a really important weekend.âÂ
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly.Â
Whatever, he figured, sheâs just lucky Iâm busy that weekend too.Â
âOkay.âÂ
âI swear Iâllâwait, youâre okay with it?âÂ
Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, âyeah. Iâve got something on that weekend too.âÂ
You let out a surprised hum, âoh⊠cool. ThanksâŠMr Bang,â you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for âinsubordinationâ again just because you didnât call him by his honorific.Â
Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening.Â
Over lunch, Chrisâ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate.Â
âIs there something youâre not telling me? Are you⊠gay?â She asked, continuing, âbecause if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.âÂ
Chris gave her a unamused look, âmom, Iâve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but itâs hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my⊠lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?âÂ
This made Chrisâ mom perk up, âthatâs it! Why donât you just date your secretary!âÂ
Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself.Â
âWhat,â he spoke between coughs, âgave you that idea?âÂ
His mom looked at him in disbelief, âwhatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, weâve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.â
Chris couldnât help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasnât possible, right? You looked as though youâd absolutely hated him half the time, heâd be expecting too much from you if heâd expected you to fall for him.Â
Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his momâs minds quickly, âno, mom. Iâm fine with how things are between us right now.âÂ
Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand.Â
Upon reaching, youâd texted Eujin saying youâd reached.Â
eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!-Â
Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things.Â
You saw an incoming text from Seungmin.Â
seungmin (personal)Â 6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris werenât here-Â
6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-
seungmin (personal)Â 6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun-Â
Youâd checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor.Â
Changing into more comfortable clothes, youâd seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujinâs room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujinâs room.Â
You hadnât expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of âwe were so happy you could make it!â Or âthank God you could take time off!â, sharing the same sentiments as them as youâd let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you.Â
âI ordered room service,â Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed.Â
âIâll have one,â you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends.Â
âTired from work?â Â
You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, âI swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, Iâm gonna give him a piece of my mind.âÂ
You scoffed, âyou donât even know what he looks like.â Youâd gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion."Â
Youâd spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heartâs content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how theyâve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married.Â
âYou guys make me wanna get married too,â you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them.Â
âYouâd have to actually date to do that, you know,â they told you pointedly, making you sigh.Â
âYouâre basically married to your job, already,â your friend chimed in, making you laugh.Â
âSeems like that, doesnât it? I was super shocked heâd let me have the weekend off, usually heâd be swarming me with emails about now.âÂ
âIâm excited to see Brianâs friends tomorrow, maybe thereâll be someone that catches your eye,â Eujin told you, making you shrug.Â
âJust out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.âÂ
You hummed, shrugging.Â
âIâve never really thought of a specificâŠcriteria I guess. I guess Iâd just like someone thatâs kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since itâs honestly been really hard to find someone that doesnât hate my schedule.âÂ
You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with.Â
Eujin looked at you resolutely, âweâll do our best,â she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on.Â
You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good.Â
You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, âwhatever, letâs just have fun, itâs your big day soon, letâs just celebrate!â
===
At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since youâd spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days.Â
You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancĂ© had called her over.Â
âHey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.âÂ
While being introduced, Eujin couldnât help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before.Â
âOh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?âÂ
Her husband shook his head, âAll of them, except Chan here. Heâs the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.âÂ
Eujinâs eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting?Â
âOh, wow. Thatâs impressive.âÂ
Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that?Â
âI donât get it, how are you single? Youâre basically the whole package!â She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head.Â
Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, âChan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.âÂ
Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, âreally? Is there a reason behind that?âÂ
âHeâd never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,â this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guyâs prospects as a suitor for you.Â
âOh my god, youâre exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.âÂ
âHey, cut him some slack,â one of his friends had spoken up, âChan canât cheat on his job.âÂ
Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that youâd arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. âChan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!âÂ
âY/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.âÂ
Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room.Â
âHeâs really nice, and friendly, and heâs good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that heâs loaded. Iâm so excited for you to meet him.âÂ
Letting her drag you along, youâd distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin.Â
âHey, I have someone Iâd like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,â Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach.Â
Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one weekâs pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person.Â
Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, ânice to uhâŠmeet you.âÂ
His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, âIâll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.âÂ
You were about to protest when sheâd left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris.Â
âSo, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?âÂ
You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you.Â
âOh, uh, we were friends since college,â you answered simply.Â
âCool, did you guys have the same major?â Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friendâs face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl.Â
You shook your head, âuh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.â You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chrisâ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you werenât even aware of.
You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law.Â
âWoah, thatâs really coincidental. All of us met in law school,â he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously.Â
âWhere are you guys um⊠dates?â You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you.Â
You didnât understand why he was glaring at you, wasnât it a valid question?Â
âWe didnât bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?âÂ
You shook your head, making Chris snort. âDoes it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.âÂ
You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you.Â
You scoffed, folding your arms. âYeah, pity. Maybe Iâd have time to date if I wasnât always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,â you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair.Â
Chris smirked, two could play at this game.
âSame here, Iâd probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasnât always causing trouble.âÂ
âYour secretary?â His friend spoke up, âI heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.âÂ
Youâd almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised.Â
âIf I had a secretary like that, Iâd just date her,â one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses.Â
âWho knows, are you a workaholic?â You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, âah⊠itâd be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely canât stand dating workaholics.âÂ
Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, âoh, you canât stand dating workaholics? Me neither.âÂ
You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session.Â
You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ).Â
Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you.Â
Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time.Â
"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that."Â
Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter.Â
You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion.Â
"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?"Â
Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..."Â
Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah."Â
You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now."Â
Chris scoffed, "what weird?"Â
You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips.Â
One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding,"Â
You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority."Â
You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes.Â
"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?"Â
You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."
Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me."Â
You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go.Â
Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris.Â
"Leave me alone," you huffed.Â
Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything."Â
You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed.Â
It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations.Â
Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately.Â
"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now."Â
You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town.Â
You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling.Â
"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here."Â
You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace.Â
He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in.Â
You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap.Â
"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable."Â
And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year.Â
"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood.Â
"And what I said," you added as an afterthought.Â
Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, ânah, donât worry about it.â
Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and youâd looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you.Â
âIâm not gonna fire you, if thatâs what youâre thinking. Iâm just kind ofâŠlike, you know, wondering,â he began, âthe uh⊠engagement party and the birthday party that you um⊠you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?âÂ
You pursed your lips, nodding, âbut it wasnât your fault, you know. The first one was when youâd passed out⊠you know, at the office, remember?âÂ
He nodded, prompting you to continue, âthe next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.âÂ
Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldnât have guessed youâd been giving up these things for him from how willing youâd seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.
Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as youâd slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him.Â
Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-"Â
Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?"Â
Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot."Â
You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach.Â
"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-"Â
"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason.Â
Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend."Â
Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark.Â
"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button.Â
"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded.Â
"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitanceÂ
"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan."Â
"Chan?"Â
He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work."Â
You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze.Â
"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling.Â
"Yes, that's your name," he laughed.Â
Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes.Â
"My room's here."Â
You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say.Â
"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?âÂ
You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you werenât working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasnât your boss. So, there was nothing to lose.Â
You nodded, âYeah. That soundsâŠnice.âÂ
===Â
âSounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,â you heard Seungminâs voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch.Â
âRight? I donât know what heâs trying to get out of this.âÂ
Seungmin knew. But itâs not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chanâs job not his. Frankly, heâd had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked.Â
âMaybe itâll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.âÂ
âI have a reason, Iâll have you know.âÂ
Seungmin scoffed, âreally? Enlighten me, then.â
Youâd fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan.Â
âI donât know, his dimples are stupid.âÂ
Seungmin wanted to laugh, âso youâre telling me, you just canât stand him because of his stupid dimples?âÂ
Your attention was diverted when youâd felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan.Â
boss 11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?-Â
âShit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.âÂ
Seungmin shrugged, â10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you donât like him. Or for you to realise that you donât actually hate him.âÂ
You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason.Â
âOkay, Iâve got it. I just donât like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like Iâm some incompetent kid.âÂ
âYou know for a fact he doesnât think youâre incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.âÂ
You scoffed, âyeah, whatever. But that doesnât change the fact that heâs so condescending about it, he thinks of me iâm some kid that doesnât know anything.âÂ
Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting.Â
âOh, he definitely doesnât see you as a kid,â Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.
Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, âokay, I gotta go. Iâll talk to you later.âÂ
Ending the call, youâd slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when youâd spotted Chan there.Â
Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, âmorning,â he greeted.Â
âGood morning,â you huffed nervously.
Heâd already begun walking, making you follow beside him, âdid you get a good sleep?âÂ
His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. âyou?âÂ
You nodded, following him in silence as youâd gone down the list, realising heâd pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor.Â
âYou pressed the wrong floor,â you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.
âActually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, Iâve been there before and itâs pretty good.âÂ
Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didnât have the company card to fall back on.Â
âIs it expensive?â You asked, seeing him shrug.Â
âNot really.âÂ
Only when youâd reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that youâd only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items.Â
Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood.Â
âDo you like it?â He asked, almost sounding nervous.Â
Nodding reassuringly, youâd wanted to run away when you saw the way heâd walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.
âYou know, you donât have to do that,â you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how heâd rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks.Â
âI wanted to. Youâd never let me do it for you on any other occasion.âÂ
You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him youâd decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend.Â
Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chanâs face when youâd insisted on water.
âWhat?â You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him.Â
âNothing.âÂ
Youâd leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you.Â
Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue.Â
âHey, mom,â you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot.Â
âHey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?âÂ
You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of âthanksâ, making your motherâs eyes narrow, âwho are you with?âÂ
âIâm attending Eujinâs wedding this weekend. Iâm just uhâŠwith a friend.âÂ
Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your momâs attention, âguy? I thought you told me you werenât dating anyone.âÂ
This had caught Chanâs attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that youâd broken up with your boyfriend.Â
âNo, yeah, mom itâs just a friend. Can I call you later?âÂ
Your momâs eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, âoh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.âÂ
You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised.Â
âYour mom doesnât know you have a boyfriend?â He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship.Â
You shook your head, âno uhâŠI broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.âÂ
Chanâs lips pursed, nodding, âoh⊠sorry.âÂ
You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, âdonât be. He wasâŠit was for the best.âÂ
âDâyou mind if I ask why? You donât have to answer me if you donât want to, Iâm just kind ofâŠcurious.âÂ
You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now.Â
âNah he just⊠our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didnât work out.âÂ
Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, âgo ahead, you can start eating first.âÂ
You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. âBut Iâm honestly fine now, itâs been more than a year since we broke up.âÂ
Chan huffed in amusement, âis that why you said you canât stand dating workaholics?âÂ
Your giggles bubbled out of you, âhonestly, I only said that to spite you. Iâd much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.âÂ
Chan nodded, âI get that. Yeah, work is important and all but⊠I feel like if you really loved someone youâd find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.âÂ
You laughed, âkind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.âÂ
Youâd looked up from your food when Chan hadnât responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though heâd wanted to say something.Â
âyeah,â he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food.Â
Youâd shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you werenât working. This was what you wanted, wasnât it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change.Â
Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously.Â
It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didnât, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didnât understand, you couldnât deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself.Â
Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadnât talked about them sooner.Â
Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon.Â
âAre you doing anything tonight?â He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you.Â
âMy friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?âÂ
He sighed, nodding, âsame, the guys and I are going out for drinks.âÂ
You shot him a look, âdrinks?âÂ
He laughed, shaking his head, âI can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.âÂ
Your eyes widened, âand Iâm only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldnât drink that!â
Chan flushed, âI wasnât lying, technically. I really couldnât drink that, I donât like white wine.âÂ
You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passengerâs seat.Â
âDonât drink too much tonight, yeah?â He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car.Â
âYou too,â you held your pinky out for him to make a promise.Â
Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, âdeal.âÂ
===Â
Youâd heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully.Â
âWhy isnât the card working?â You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door.Â
Opening the door slowly, youâd acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion.Â
âThis isnât my room?âÂ
You couldnât help but laugh, turning him around as youâd ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, âthis,â you pointed at the door, âis your room, Chan.âÂ
He giggled, âyou called me âChanâ.âÂ
Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it.Â
Letting out a sigh, you couldnât help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head.Â
âSorry, I promised I wouldnât drink so much.âÂ
You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when youâd felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently.Â
Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could.Â
âShut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,â you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat.Â
The next time youâd seen him was at the hotel lobby, where youâd agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner.Â
Greeting each other, youâd both decided to pretend the night before hadnât occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin.Â
âA little birdie told me you came together with Chan,â she sing-songed.Â
You scoffed, âarenât brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?âÂ
âDonât change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?âÂ
You shrugged, âyeah, I guess we did.âÂ
She narrowed her eyes at you, âso? Is there a verdict?âÂ
You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal.Â
âToo early to tell,â you lied.Â
âStop avoiding the question! Or else Iâll just have to ask Chan myself,â she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen.Â
âNo, donât do that! Okay, fine. Itâs good. Heâs nice.âÂ
Even Eujinâs makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze.Â
âShut up, focus on your wedding, please.âÂ
You wished you couldâve done some focusing for yourself, with Chanâs friends nudging him when youâd gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan.Â
âWhy do you look more nervous than the bride?â He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm.Â
âYouâre delusional.âÂ
Okay, maybe he wasnât. You wished you couldâve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure heâd noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing.Â
Shouldnât he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room.Â
After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and youâd accepted, not knowing that you wouldâve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too.Â
Sitting at the passengerâs seat (thankfully), youâd prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan.Â
âIs there something going on with you two?âÂ
âNone of your business,â Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when youâd heard one of his friends murmur.
âWait, but didnât he say he had a thing for his secretary?âÂ
Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure.Â
Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.
âOh, did he? Then there canât be anything going on with her, right?âÂ
Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you wouldâve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chanâs love life.Â
Eujin wasnât kidding when she said that sheâd make you and Chan sit next to each other, and youâd ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, youâd been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests.Â
Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didnât miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well.Â
The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didnât mind since you were absolutely starving.Â
You didnât miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how heâd brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldnât get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to.Â
You figured he was really making use of the âletâs pretend we donât know each otherâ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining. Â
You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious.Â
âIs that your boss?âÂ
You shook your head, ânah itâs just one of the interns asking me for help with something,â you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance.Â
Reaching over, heâd taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion.Â
âHey, I was just gonna email her!âÂ
âTheyâre not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while youâre on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.âÂ
Youâd shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldnât do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue.Â
Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, âwow, now Iâm really glad youâre here. Youâre the only one so far thatâs managed to stop her from checking on her work when sheâs supposed to be resting.âÂ
You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit.Â
âGood to know,â he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now.Â
âYour friends make me sound like iâm a hard-ass,â he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding.Â
âWell, theyâre not entirely wrong,â you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him.Â
He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, âIâll keep that in mind.âÂ
You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back.Â
After youâd bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadnât mentioned anything about his love life.Â
âTired?â Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road.Â
âYeah,â you murmured, yawning.Â
âYou should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.âÂ
You nodded, âyou too.âÂ
Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he couldâve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasnât always masking his concern with rude phrasing.Â
His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her.Â
===Â
You hadnât gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you wouldâve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, youâd found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didnât help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.
You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chanâs change in personality once he went back to being your boss.Â
Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, youâd fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today.Â
Youâd almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you.Â
Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, âshut up, I just didnât feel like sitting with a stranger.âÂ
You huffed in amusement, âdid you take a nap?âÂ
Chan shook his head, ânah, just finished a conference call.âÂ
Your eyes widened, âwait, why didnât you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole timeââÂ
Chan shook his head in dismissal, âyou were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, Iâm not allowed to touch it.âÂ
You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, âyeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.âÂ
Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap.Â
âIt doesnât have to, you know⊠likeâŠâ he shrugged, âif you donât want it to.âÂ
Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words.Â
âItâd be⊠unprofessional for me to continue to act like⊠this towards my boss.âÂ
Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression.Â
âI think Iâm way past being professional already when it comes to you.âÂ
Youâd sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment.Â
You stood up quickly, âoh, I think my cabâs here, I have to go,â you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face.Â
âGo, go. See you at work tomorrow.âÂ
===
âCanât we ask Y/N to ask him?â The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.
âBut Y/Nâs equally as scary as him!â One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully.Â
Youâd stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan.Â
âHey, whatâs up?â You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face.Â
âY/N, do you think you could um⊠like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We havenât had one in so long!âÂ
You tilted your head at them in amusement, âwhy donât you guys just ask him? Heâs in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wanââÂ
âNo, no! Itâs different, youâre the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but heâd just told us heâd think about it.âÂ
You shrugged, nodding, âalright, sure. Iâll go and ask him.âÂ
Making your way back to his office, youâd tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait.Â
Walking over to him, youâd placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before heâd switched back to a serious expression.Â
âNo, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a⊠mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.âÂ
You didnât have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry.Â
You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge.Â
âYes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.â Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout.Â
âI really donât like him.âÂ
Chan sighed, âsame here.âÂ
âAnyway, Iâm glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.âÂ
âWhat?â You asked, watching as heâd fiddled with the papers on his desk.Â
âUh⊠I wonât ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.âÂ
Your eyes widened, âis this because of what my friends said? Because Iâm honestly fine it doesnât matter,â you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose.Â
âIt may not matter to you but Iâm personally not fine with it,â he pressed his lips together. âReally, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.âÂ
You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip?Â
Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, âokayâŠuh anyway I wanted to ask you um⊠the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?âÂ
Chan shot you a look, knowing theyâd asked you to ask him.Â
âDo you want that?â He asked, earning a nod from you.Â
âYeah, I guess. Itâd be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and allâŠâÂ
Chan shrugged, âalright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.âÂ
Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected.Â
âWill you be needing me for anything else?âÂ
He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, âother than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.âÂ
You nodded slowly, exiting the room.Â
By only asking you for work-related things, youâd expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day youâd ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasnât much on your plate.Â
Youâd figured you wouldâve been a lot busier tending to Chanâs requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you.Â
As if that wasnât strange enough, heâd even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungminâs amusement.Â
âDoesnât being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least youâd be doing something there.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, âI still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.âÂ
âAdmit it, youâre only staying because you canât bear to leave Chan.âÂ
Youâd almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, âwhere the hell did you get that idea from?âÂ
Seungmin scoffed, âyou act like you didnât call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.âÂ
Youâd fallen silent at that, averting your gaze.Â
âWhatever,â you scoffed.Â
âIsnât it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.âÂ
Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, âwhat are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. Theyâll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,â Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, âgod knows when was the last time he got laid.âÂ
You flushed, shoving Seungmin, âhow can you say that?âÂ
âWhat? Itâs true!âÂ
You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone.Â
âI should probably be heading back now, Iâve got work to do,â you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench.Â
âI donât wanna go back to work,â Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop.Â
You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, âwerenât you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?âÂ
Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself.Â
âFine, Iâm fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.âÂ
You rolled your eyes.Â
Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and youâd been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible âaction-planâ regarding your situation with Chan was.Â
Taking down notes during the meeting, youâd let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholderâs side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him.Â
Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, âwhat does a man need to do to get a drink around here?âÂ
âYou,â the man pointed a finger at you, âgo and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.âÂ
Chanâs eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the manâs coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that.Â
About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water."Â
You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this."Â
Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?"Â
===Â
Youâd been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as youâd kept trying to peep into Chanâs office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldnât stop staring outside at your desk either).Â
You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldnât have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldnât just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didnât trust him not to spend the whole night here.Â
Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office.Â
Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he wouldâve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room.Â
Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured youâd might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, youâd walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness.Â
Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence.Â
Pushing open the door slightly, youâd tried again.Â
âMr Bang, is it okay if I come in?â
Upon receiving no response yet again, youâd pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair.Â
Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, youâd picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him.Â
Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him.Â
Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you.Â
âI thought youâd gone home already?â He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why youâd stayed behind.Â
âSorry, Mr Bang, I wasââ
He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, ânone of that âMr Bangâ, nonsense. How come you havenât left yet?âÂ
You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly.Â
âI couldnât leave⊠for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.âÂ
Chanâs satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue.Â
âbut Iâll go soon. I guess,â you blurted, âunless like you know, you need me for something, then Iâm fine with staying.â You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further.Â
You couldnât help but let your breath hitch when heâd reached out to grab your hand.Â
âThank you, for checking up on me,â he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly.Â
âDid you not come out of your office on purpose?â You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely.Â
You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chanâs grip on your hand was firm.Â
âIâm sorry, I know I said I wouldnât ask you for anything that wasnât work related from now on. But Itâs killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldnât do anything about itâŠâ he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression.Â
âYou can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,â he murmured, pulling you forward so youâd ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself.Â
âWhat do you need me to do?â You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you.Â
Chanâs hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, âclose your eyes.âÂ
Chan couldnât help but smirk at the way youâd done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours.Â
Almost as if it was second nature, heâd let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, youâd practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss.Â
âIâm glad itâs you,â he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well.Â
âWe should stop,â you pulled away, breathless.Â
âWhy?âÂ
You shook your head, âI could kiss you for hours. Itâs already so close to midnight.âÂ
Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side.Â
âSo be it, then,â he said, pulling you back to meet his lips.Â
===
âIs it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,â Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely.Â
The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office.Â
âDefinitely. At first I thought it was just me, but heâs been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,â she agreed.Â
âDonât you think so, Seungmin?âÂ
And almost as if on cue, youâd exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you.Â
Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as youâd gone back to sit down at your desk.Â
Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, âyeah, I think I know why.âÂ
#chris bang#bang chan#christopher bang#bang chan fluff#bang chan scenarios#bang chan au#stray kids#stray kids bang chan#stray kids chan#skz#skz au#skz fluff#skz scenarios#stray kids seungmin#skz seungmin#kim seungmin#enemies-to-lovers!bang chan#workplace!au#enemies to lovers#skz imagines
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Very long personal vent(?) about writing
Just needed to put it into words for myself
Writing stuff and coming up with characters and stories when I was a child was so much more fun then it is now
I remember that for a class we were required to come up with a story that had to be exactly 1 a4 page long on google docs, not any longer and not any shorter
And I was so upset that we weren't allowed to make it longer because I was having so much fun writing about these strange characters in this strange world doing weird things
I don't exactly remember the details of what it was about but I vividly remember it being something about a murderous fish with silver fish and a man living in a tower in the middle of the ocean, and something about them helping each other in some way
I had to leave that story on a cliff hanger bc I didn't have space to write more but I remember enjoying myself so much writing it
I also wrote fnaf fanfiction when I didn't even know what fanfiction was, and it was about the fnaf 1 characters finding a strange elevator in the kitchen which led down to the fnaf sister location
There was also the time I came up with a whole character backstory on a whim for a role play I was participating in
And now, mostly the last few months, it's just been so difficult for me to get myself to actually write stuff
I don't hate doing it, I don't necessarily hate the results but I'm not happy and excited the way I was years ago
Years ago I was waiting for my brother to be done using the family computer so I could get back to writing these silly stories and now I have to drag myself over to attempt and write a few words which I won't be satisfied with
And if I do finish writing something it doesn't bring the same joy
I love writing, I love my characters and I love posting it online but it feels limited and forced in way
I feel like subconsciously im forcing myself to fit my writing into a certain category or limit myself to certain tropes or something that's holding me back
I want to write silly stories about fish that kill people but I can't seem to come up with weird concepts like that anymore even though I *love* them
I love fever dream type stories which simultaneously make sense but also don't and are amusing and weird
But I also want to write more "character study" type stories, which explore certain concepts or things and are more rambles then stories which don't necessarily have a plot but are simply fun to read
I don't know why I don't write that stuff anymore, I dont know if I still *can*, the things I came up with as a child came so naturally I have to force it now if I want to imitate it and it upsets me
Writing stuff genuinely brought me so much pure joy, it was fun and made me happy while I was miles deep in depression
I haven't felt that raw joy from writing in so long and it's left me so unmotivated while I know that I love doing it
I love writing but it doesn't make me happy and it's frustrating
I don't know if I'm subconsciously forcing myself to write stuff closer to what I read on here or if I'm just mentally stuck in the past holding on to what isn't there anymore
Whatever it is, I don't want to stop writing, but I also don't feel a reason to continue
It's so genuinely exhausting to write nowadays, I physically can't do it without constantly yawning and my eyelids becoming heavy and I wish that was a joke
I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what I should do differently or if there's anything I can do but I just want to be happy, I want to feel excited at the thought of being able to write like I used to
I think it may have something to do with me joining the whump community as well, like I'm forcing myself to only come up with whump related content because that's what I love to read
And I love writing whump stuff and I love my whumpees but I also love silly goofy stories but I don't allow myself space for that type of stuff
I also feel that if I were to post writing completely unrelated to whump and completely self indulgent nobody would care or see it which is a bit upsetting
I definitely don't want to stop reading or writing whump but at the same time it might be holding me back a bit and that's not fun to think about or admit out loud
I truly do love it but lately it's been feeling dry and I think it has to do with the fact that whump has been my sole focus for so long that I'm yearning for something fresh
I was reading and writing whump so exclusively that I've just been overdoing it and the well has long run dry
I feel that if I take a break from whump altogether and focus on writing other type of stuff I might? spark interest in writing again, but I don't have any clue on where to start
The stuff I came up with as a child was so random and I have no idea on how to replicate it although I love it so much
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