#-if i brough it up in the rant at the end like i planned

[ganondoodle]

so ... that stupid totk masterworks book has been out for a while hasnt it?

does anyone know if its possible to find a version somewhere you dont have to pay for? (especially the german version) so i can avoid that at all costs of course, i definitely totally plan to spend money on it

[the---hermit]

Finally picking up ntn, and the result of my first round of storing in jars the herbs I dried.

31|07|2023

I am not even going to rant about how July is at its end. In the past few days I worked, I finished putting stuff up on the shelves in my room, watched tv shows and I finally got a bit more time to read. Today I decided it was time to start storing in jars the herbs I hanged up to dry a while back. While I worked on it I listened to two full books unbound episodes plus an entire other video essay on ya fantasy. I haven't even stored a third of all the herbs, but it's a start nonetheless. As I was saying in the past few days not only I watched the last few episode of the witcher, finishing the 3rd season which I liked much more than the 2nd. But I also watched the whole good omens 2nd season. I have binged watched yeasterday as a little treat for having worked so much in the past week, and it brough me a lot of joy and it also destroyed me emotionally. I also finally finished reading Juniper And Thorn by Ava Reid this morning, and as I am writing this Nona The Ninth is right beside me waiting for me to finally pick it up.

Chill hobbit summer activities of the past few days:

Read first thing in the morning (ngl I skipped a couple of days of this)

Wrote the book reviews of the last few books I read and posted this one

Continued my reviews of Irish on duolingo

Worked at my family's store

Did a lot of history themed crosswords with my brother

Finished organizing my bedroom

Enjoyed some tv shows which I hadn't done in a while

Listened to bookish podcasts

Started to store my herbs in jars

Updated my reading journal and made my august speads (as for my bujo I kinda let it go in the past few months, mostly because I use it for planning study stuff. I made a couple of useful spreads in these weeks but no monthly set up or anything, I am just vibing with it as a tool more than a habit at the moment)

📖: Juniper And Thorn by Ava Reid

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

10.1k tweets

QUACKITY

20k tweets

ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

13.7k tweets

[revengeofthebluepen]

Painted on With Laughter Ch. 13/14

Ch 13 She's so gone

The months went by and (Name) slowly returned to the way she was….almost. There were episodes of laughing from (Name) at the oddest hours in the night. This laughter wasn't her normal sweet and short giggles but a sickly horrifying laugh. Her laugh sent chills down anyone’s spine when it was heard. Since Bruce and Dick were out at night, the only one to comfort her was Alfred. Once the episodes started to occur during the day, (Name) would lock herself in her bathroom. She would sit on the floor while using the shower to steam up the room. The warm air made it easier to get air into her lungs as she laughed. (Name) became more anti-social as the day went by. Her episodes would progressively get worse and only Alfred would know.

One day as (Name) played her guitar once more, a fit of laughter erupted from her. Her guitar fell to the floor as she squirmed in her chair. (Name)’s body hit the floor seconds later. (Name) brough her legs up to her chest as she continued to laugh. (Name) gasped for air as each laugh came out. She just couldn't catch her breath. (Name)crawled her way over to the bathroom. Reaching the tub, (Name) turned on the water as hot as possible. The air was still cold from it still being morning, it felt as if her lungs were being ripped apart with every breath she took. The room wasn't getting warm anytime soon, so (Name) plugged them tub. The water filled the tub quickly, (Name) layed in pain on the ground still laughing as it filled. As soon as the tub filled (Name) rolled over the edge into the water. The water was searing hot, but (Name) couldn't care. The hot water easie her muscles allowing more air into her lungs. (Name) layed in the hot tube as steam filled the room, she watched as the water ran over the edge of the tub. She laid motionless till a knock came a rapping on her door.

“Hey (Name), you in there?” came Dick’s voice from the other side.

(Name) said nothing as she tried to calm her fit of laughter.

   “I’m gonna come in”

Dick did come in with his hands over his eyes he stood there for a second before (Name) could comprehend what was happen. Dick could feel the water under his feet.

   “GET OUT!” yelled (Name) at Dick

   “Not til you tell me what wrong.” Dick said as more water went past his feet.

   “Nothing is wrong, now get out.” (Name) said shutting off the tap.

   “Not unless you come with me.”

   “I’m not getting out of the tub yet, so get out”

Dick stood there still with his hands over his eyes. There was complete silence between the two as (Name) sat in the tub with her clothes on.

   “I have clothes on, you can move your hand away.”

Dick removed his hand to see the bathroom a mess, (Name) sitting in the tub with her clothes on, and water all over the floor.

   “What happened?” he motioned to the bathroom.

   “It felt like I couldn't breath, all my muscles were pulling in different directions at the same time.”

Dick didnt know what to say, let alone do with that new information. The stood in an awkward silence for a few moments til Dick spoke once more.

   “You should dry off and change clothes, lunch will be soon.”

Dick left the room. (Name) stayed in the tub till the water grew cold, before she got out.  She dried off and changed clothes. Taking several towels, (Name) wiped up the floor. She placed all of the bottles and other things she knocked down back into their places.

   (Name) eventually made her way to the small dining room, and was meet with Barbara kissing Dick. (Name) had found out from Bruce, not Dick, that she and Dick dated that was until she disappeared. (Name) slowly over the weeks had fallen head over heels for Dick once again and was planning to see if they could make it work once more but then there was this. No one had told (Name) about Dick loving Barbara. (Name) stood in shock to see the two kissing. Bruce walked in from another door and it brought (Name) back to her senses. (Name) took a seat across from Barbara and Dick. Alfred brought in the food as Bruce took a seat down. (Name) didn't say a word as lunch was eaten. It was mostly Barbara talking along with Dick and Bruce throwing in a comment here and there. Lunch concluded and Bruce excused himself. Barbara pulled Dick into another room leaving (Name) alone in the dining room.

   “Is something wrong mistress (Name)?” Alfred questioned

   “I think, I’m gonna take a walk to clear my head.”

(Name) made her way up to her room and put on her superhero outfit under her clothes and made her way over to Bruce’s office. Knocking on the door, (Name) waited pationetly.

   “It open,” called Bruce

   “Father, I’m going for a walk.”

   “Be back before dark.”

   “Will do.”

(Name) made her way to the front door. After putting her coat on and bidding Alfred goodbye, (Name) left the manor. She walked all the way to Gotham. Once there she navigated her way to the park where it all began. (Name) took a seat on one of the benches and watched as children played. A swing opened up so she took the chance to swing. Pushing herself high and higher, (Name) thought about what she could do while in the city. The park emptied minute after minute. Once the park was mostly empty, (Name) jumped off the swings and made her way over to a public restroom. (Name) quickly removed her clothes and placed them in the ceiling, hidden from those around her. (Name) climbed out of the window in the back. Sneaking onto the roof, (Name) makes her way out into the city of Gotham. (Name) jumped rooftop to rooftop. The minutes fly by as (Name) makes her way over to the other side of the city. (Name) soon made her way over to her destination. The building was an abandoned warehouse from a glue factory. (Name) climbed through the broken window careful to not cut herself. (Name) move silently through the factory. She passed guards and thugs and as she drew closer to her final destination should could hear people talking.

“HARLEY?!” shouted out the Joker, as he tripped over the hyena food bowl.

The hyenas growled at him, clearly mad that they hadn't been fed. Joker looked through the other rooms looking for Harley. When he finally couldn’t find her, he broke down. His eyes watered from the fact she wasn't there. She was missing and he needed her to pick up the pieces. (Name) stayed silent while she was hidden in the shadows. (Name) watched as this grown man, the king of crime, break because his queen left him. She should have left him sooner but she was living in a false hope of love with an abusive man.

   (Name) couldn't help herself another episode was on the brim of starting. A wicked smile appeared on her face, as he laughter began to start. (Name) moved through the ceiling spreading her laughter with in the room. Her laughter mocked the broken man. For everything he did to (Name) and Haley this was the least (Name) could do.

   “Who’s there, SHOW YOURSELF!” shouted out the Joker as (Name) ran all around the room. While the Joker’s back as turned, (Name) jumped down from the ceiling. (Name) kicked him in the back, and down to the ground. Attacking once more, the Joker tried to defend himself. Once he finally gave up (Name) stopped.

   “Who are you” questioned the Joker.

(Name) removed her mask and his eyes filled with tears.

   “(Name)! You've come back?”

   “We have a problem Joker and you're going to fix it.”

   “Oh course, (Name), as long as you stay.”

The Joker wouldn't admit it but her really did care for (Name). He really did think of her in a caring fashion. He truly wished she hadn’t left.  

   “You’re going to make it so I stop with the outbursts of laughter.”

The Joker stood and walked over to the cabinets. The hyenas growled. Not wanting the hyenas to starve, (Name) walked over to the nearby closet and pulled out the dog chow. She poured it into the bowl which they happily at from. The Joker returned with the vial and (Name) took it from him. (Name) picked up the water bowl and handed it to the Joker.

  “Fill this with new water, after you clean it out.” (Name) said as she took a seat on the nearby couch. Joker left the room to go into the kitchen. As quietly as (Name) came she left. (Name) was on the roof top with her mask back on when she heard Joker yell for her as he dropped the bowl. (Name) was back home and in bed by the time the Joker had sent out his men to find her. (Name) layed in her bed in her P.J.s when Dick knocked on her door.

   “It’s open”

   “Where were you?” he was clearly upset that she didn't tell him.

   “Out”

   “Where?”

   “Dick, where did you go?” came Barbara’s voice.

  “Your girlfriend you left me for is gonna get mad soon.” (Name) said as she turned of the reading lamp she had on. Dick stood there in shock, not thinking (Name)’s voice could drip with so much venom. Where was the girl he loved?

She died once his lips had met Barbara’s.

Ch. 14 Where’s my happy ending

  (Name) woke the next morning, she looked at the veil of liquid on her bed stand. She stared at it for a full minute till a knocking on her door. (Name) moved the blankets away from her and sleepily walked over to the door. She opened it a crack. A glimpse of flaming red hair was standing there.

   “Can I help you Barbara?” (Name) asked sleepily

  “Stay away from Dick. I don't know what you think you are to him, but he’s my boyfriend. Do quiet messing with his head.I honestly...”

(Name) closed the door before Barbara could finish her rant. (Name) couldn't careless about Dick and Barbara. They obviously felt the same way. There was a pounding on (Name)’s door as she changed into her cat suit. (Name) placed regular clothes over the suit so it was hidden. (Name) grabbed the veil from her bed stand, her guitar and her backpack. (Name) slip the veil in her pocket. Grabbing her coat, (Name) opened her bedroom door and walked past the redhead. Making her way down the stairs, Barbara continued to yell at (Name). (Name) entered the kitchen and grabbed a breakfast bar and a water bottle with Barbara still on her tail.  Alfred walked into the kitchen to start breakfast.

   “Alfred, I’m going out again. Tell father please.”

   “Certainly Mistress (Name).”

Barbara still ranted and rave as (Name) walked through the house grabbing items and all the way to the front door. As (Name) opened door she turned to face Barbara.

   “You can have Dick, Barbara. At least my parents taught me right.”

   “Oh ya how so.”

   “They taught me to give my used things to the less fortunate.”

With that said (Name) walked out the door and closed it shut in front of Barbara. (Name) walked quickly to Gotham. Once there she made her way to a local park. Taking her guitar out of it's case, (Name) took a seat on a bench. Strumming her guitar, a song came to mind.

“Oh, Oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, Oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, Oh,Ohhh” (Name) sung out. People stopped to watch her.

“Let's talk this over

It's not like we're dead

Was it something I did?

Was it something you said?”

“Don't leave me hangin'

In a city so dead

Held up so high

On such a breakable thread” (Name) honestly what went wrong with her and Dick. Why was Barbara being such a jerk. (Name) knew nothing was going to change on it's own.

“You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything

That I wanted,(that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it (we lost it)

All of the memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending” Dick was nothing like he used to be. Not like the boy she fell in love with so long ago. The boy she knew was gone and he wasn't coming back ever again.

“Oh, Oh,

So much for my happy ending

Oh Oh” More people gathered around with every stume of her guitare.

“You've got your dumb friends

I know what they say (they say)

They tell you I'm difficult

But so are they (But so are they)

But they don't know me

Do they even know you? (even know you?)”   (Name) could feel the anger rise in her as she thought of Dick and Barbara. Barbara practically knew nothing about Dick. She didn’t know his past. She probably didn't even know his favorite color.

“All the things you hide from me

All the shit that you do (all the shit that you do)

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be” (Name) still couldn't get over that no one told her up front about Dick and Barbara. She wondered what other secrets everyone else was hiding.

“You were everything, everything

That I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it (we lost it)

All of the memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending” There was now a good size crowd around (Name). It kept growing and growing.  

“It's nice to know that you were there

Thanks for acting like you care

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Thanks for watching as I fall” (Name) truly felt betrayed by Dick and Bruce. The only person who was there for (Name) was Alfred. At least she had someone, but even so (Name) felt like she was going to drown in a sea of emotions.

“And everything that we could be

He was everything, everything

That I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it

All of the memories so close to me

Just fade away” (Name) looked down at her pocket where the veil was. There was no point in drinking it anymore. Not after what she was going to do.

“All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything

That I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be

But we lost it

All of the memories so close to me

Just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

Oh Oh Oh Oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh Oh Oh Oh

So much for my happy ending” The crowd erupted with applause and (Name) took a bow. She placed her guitar back in it's case.

(Name) made her way through the crowd and into the public restroom. Making sure no one else was there, (Name) grabbed her clothes from the ceiling and placed them back in her backpack. As she exited the restroom, (Name) caught a glimpse of the redhead from before. (Name) quickly sneaked into a group of people who were watching Barbara.

“(Name) I know you’re out here in the park! If you don't show yourself I will read your diary out loud.” Barbara shouted out to the park.

(Name) stayed silent and watched as if daring Barbara to do so. (Name) didn't really have anything to lose. (Name)’s diary only had a few footnotes here and there of what she would doodle. (Name) watched as Barbara opened the diary and as her face fell. There was no leverage on (Name) with the diary and they both knew it. The crowd laughed at Barbara as she tried to come up with something. Barbara eventually got mad enough, that she threw the diary in the mud. (Name) walked over to it as Barbara stormed away. Brushing the mud off, (Name) placed the diary in her backpack. (Name) walked home after walking around the park for a bit.

    The second (Name) entered the house, Dick bombarded her with questions. (Name) ignored the questions and went up stair to put her things away. Dick of course followed her as she put her things away. (Name) made her way back down the stairs and into the kitchen to make herself lunch seeing that it was almost 1 p.m.

   “Talk to me (Name)!” yelled Dick

   “You don't get it do you Dick?”

   “No I don't so if you explain it to me then maybe I would then!”

   “You threw me away like trash!” By now the two were in a screaming match.

   “No I didn’t!”

   “Did too!”

   “Did NOT!”

   “Then why are with her” (Name) pointed at Barbara who entered with Alfred and Bruce to see why they were yelling

   “Because he..”Barbara started

   “Be quiet you gold digger.” (Name) snapped at Barbara

   “Hey I still know more about him.” She shouted back as Dick stayed quiet in shock.

   “What's his favorite color then?” (Name) questioned

   “Red”

   “Wrong it's Blue. What’s his favorite animal”

   “Monkeys”

   “Wrong, he’s deathly afraid of them. A robin is his favorite. What nickname was he given by his mother?”

   “Dick”

   “Wrong Robin, because he could fly through the air almost. What did he perform in the circus?”

   “Clown?” Barbara said. She had no idea Dick as even in a circus.

   “Wrong. Acrobate group with his family and they were called the Flying Graysons. What’s his favorite food?”

   “Tacos?”

   “Wrong pepperoni pizza.”

  “Who were his parents?” Barbara questioned. She was sure (Name) wouldn't know. Barbara hadn’t learn this till a few weeks ago after they started dating.

   “Jonathan Grayson and Mary Loyd Grayson.”

   “What happened to them?”

   “They died.” (Name) got quiet.

   “How?” Barbara was still yelling.

   “They fell of the trapeze.”

   “Wrong” Barbara said with a smirk.

   “No I’m right.” (Name) yelled at her

   “Dicks parents died in a car cash” Barbara yelled right back

  “No I’m right. They died falling from the trapeze after the bar on the swing was loose. The bar fell off and both John and Mary fell down below. There wasn't a net for them to land on. It was the most dangerous act.Dick stood on the platform above them adjacent to where the bar was. He had to watch them fall to their deaths, and there was nothing he could do to save them.” (Name)’s mind recalled the memory perfectly

   “Oh ya and how do you know this?” questioned Barbara

   “Because I was there to watch their bodies hit the ground.” Tears were forming around (Name)’s eyes.

  The room stood in silence. (Name) ran from the room with tears threatening to fall. Dick stood there in silence. (Name) had gotten everything right about him. Barbara hadn't gotten a single one right. (Name) made her way to her bedroom and locked the door behind her. She could hear Barbara yelling at Dick about why he hadn’t told such things to her. Bruce walked up to (Name)’s room while Alfred separate the couple below. (Name) curled up in a ball on her bed as tears fell from her face. Bruce knocked on the door.

   “Go away” (Name) said as tears fell down her face.

(Name) could hear Bruce sigh as he tried to open the door. Bruce didn't even try to unlock the door. He only walked away. Bruce knew once (Name) calmed down she would talk to him so he left to go talk to Dick and Bruce. Once (Name) heard that Bruce had left, (Name) made quick work and slipped out of her window. Before leaving though, (Name) packed some clothes and personal items she would need for where she was going. (Name) made sure to write a note to Alfred saying she was going to spend the night at a friend’s house. (Name) reached the ground and walked through the streets. By the time she reached her destination it was growing dark. (Name) knocked on the door and a thug answered.

   “Move or die” (Name) said to the man.

   “Let her in!” shouted a voice from the background.

(Name) entered the building and was greeted by no other than…….