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demigod-of-the-agni · 8 months ago

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Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it.

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer.

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this.

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting

#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely #BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY #THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK #genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless #put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well #you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour #and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before #because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from #bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level #think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!!#pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide #he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up #it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose #if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people #because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful #that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!!#anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf #pavitr prabhakar #spider man #spider man india #desi #desiblr #atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv pavitr #indian culture #india #desi tumblr #what the fuck do i tag this as #agnirambles

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235uranium · 1 year ago

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I haaaaate when ppl treat ford being upset over his identity being taken and his house getting turned into essentially a mockery of his research was completely unreasonable

like, was stan doing his best with a terrible situation? absolutely! would ford kicking him out be an actually fair option? fuck no!

but he's been in this dimension for probably 12 hours. god knows the last time he's slept. he'd been nearly dead prior to going thru the portal and now has to deal with the fact that he's lost everything. he doesn't even have his own identity anymore.

I honestly don't even think half the shit ford says to stan is truly about stanley or ford's opinion of him, so much as it is about his own issues and how weighed down with guilt he is.

I think its worth noting that ford only ever says mean things about stan when he's pissed off- when he's not angry, he's much more willing to actually discuss things and try to find common ground (such as when he invites stan to play d,d&d).

it honestly comes off more as him not knowing how to communicate anger outside of hurting people than it does genuine malice towards stan. and also I don't think ford ever really internalized that stan was homeless in the duration of the show

#☢️.txt #ford pines #gravity falls #like again its an asshole move but the sentiment (im upset that you brought me back to the apocalypse i caused and i cant even have my name #isnt like. abnormal??#ford is really really bad at just fucking telling stan how hes feeling and instead chooses to be vague and then explode #and again its not stans fault! he didnt have a whole lot of choices! and what ford said WAS hurtful #also yeah i genuinely do not think ford has processed like anything stan has said about his past #like hes told about it while having a psychotic breakdown and again after nearly getting killed #and then getting dragged back into his own dimension and realizing that bill is almost certainly going to win #hes not processing 'i was homeless' all hes thinking is how he personally has doomed everyone in this room #he has the realization at 4 am months later and feels Fucking Terrible #90% sure the reason i read his actions this way is my autism tends to make me do this #and having a dad with anger issues teaches you to have worse anger issues so that hes fucking sick of dealing with you

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deus-ex-mona · 3 months ago

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thrilled with the unexpected return of cheongsam mona tbh~~~

#she’s so cute in it!!!!!!!!! our princess frrrrrr #i hope she had lots of delicious bāo after the filming~~~~ she deserves that much~~~~#though. cursed confession here but i never truly understood why cheongsams are portrayed as alluring outfits as media tbvh #to me it’s just the thing i had to wear as a kid for cny and [insert school cultural event] (when the weather was too hot for my kebaya)#hmmmm. maybe it’s because of the slit? yeah it’s probably because of the slit huh…#but man. im reminded of this rather cursed event that happened eons ago whenever i see cheongsams… i dont think i wore them again after that #which was. y’know. probably for the best. they’re not exactly the easiest dresses to wear while climbing up into a truck… but i digress!!!!!#anyways!!! if you’ve read this far i might as well tell you my favourite thing to say in chinese~~~ ready~~~?#我要回家 (wo[tone 3] yào huí jiā): ‘i want to go home’#dang phone keyboard you just hate hanyupinyin dont you </3 #but yeah that’s the first phrase i taught my non-mandarin speaking (then)coworker just for fun a few months back. fun times~~~~~~#可是，我现在好累了……所以我真的很想睡觉……再见大家！

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deoidesign · 7 months ago

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Hm... I'm feeling benevolent...

#every time i use the word 'benevolent' i remember that guy who called me 'sensei'???#because he asked me for a crit and i was basically like 'i really dont like your comic' but obviously constructively #and then he kept messaging me asking for more critique and i had to tell him to stop #and then he made a video review of my last comic and the whole review was like #'yeah so i havent really read this comic. looks pretty sick though. i basically harassed her and she had to say to stop lol'#anyways. that was weird. he used the word benevolent a lot so i always think of him. sending good vibes hope hes still making comics #oh yeah also this is kind of spoilers but not really #sorta like afterword stuff #gotta sketch gotta get into the mindset...#im not sure if that counts as spoilers at all lmfao its just minor design changes #anyways.#time and time again #spoilers #what the hell i typed 'spoilers' and '911 spoilers' was the first option??????#uh #adam and steve #ttawebcomic #sketches #sketch dump #these used to be patreon posts but its been like 5 months so. theyre free noe #the word 'benevolent' is literally an inside joke with myself now LOL

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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago

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boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

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sleepanonymous · 2 months ago

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you don't understand, i want to make a thing so badly but i've forgotten how. creative burnout sucks. idk how to make words happen in a coherent fashion anymore beyond vague scenes🥲

The Basic Premise™️ of this snippet is Eli (Vessel) just had a messy breakup, so Zack (II) made him a Tinder profile to get him laid so he can "move on" but emotions happen because Eli is a wreck (read: he fell in love with her at first sight, about 6 hours before this scene)👍

“You weren’t kidding,” V mumbled as she stood in front of the open fridge door. Eli had no idea why it felt so personal— invasive, almost— to have her looking through his refrigerator. To make matters worse, he wasn’t exactly sure what she was seeing from his point of view leaning against the side of the fridge to maintain his indifference. He indeed had not been kidding when he said he didn’t remember the last time he’d been grocery shopping; the last time he had genuinely purchased groceries had been months ago. Going to the shop was Ashley’s thing, and on top of that, he’d only been off tour for a couple of weeks and was still trying to get back into the swing of cooking for himself instead of eating takeout for every meal.

“I’m serious, I don’t mind ordering us food—”

“I can make a mean grilled cheese,” V cut him off as she pulled a block of cheddar cheese out from the depths of the fridge. “Sorry,” she added to the fact that she’d interrupted his offer.

He was torn between wanting to shrug it off, tell her it was fine, or correcting her. “With what grill?” he asked after a long beat, staring blankly.

V’s expression instantly fell, matching the look of mild disdain on Eli’s face. “Don’t even—”

It was Eli’s turn to cut V off now, “You can absolutely make us some cheese toasties, but I do not own a grill for you to grill us some cheese.”

“I am not—” she began to laugh, and Eli fought the smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “I’m not calling them a fucking ‘cheese toastie!’ It’s grilled cheese!” she argued as she laughed, setting the block of cheese on the kitchen counter near the bread box.

Eli followed, taking a gander into his fridge for himself to settle the anxiety that there was no mold or mildew growing rampant on the shelves since he last opened the door yesterday evening. When he tried to close the door, V suddenly came back, squeezing herself under his arm and the fridge door to grab butter from its compartment, so he stepped backward instead.

“You are the only person in the United Kingdom calling them a ‘grilled cheese,’ darling,” he insisted, crossing his arms loosely.

“Oh, yeah, because British folk have better names for everything. Squirty cream, for example,” V stated sarcastically as she yanked butter from the fridge door, flicking a can of the aforementioned cream for emphasis. Eli’s jaw went tight to try to keep himself from smiling or laughing. On impulse, he reached forward to stop the door from closing as V walked away and grabbed the can, shaking it.

“What’s wrong with the name? It’s cream, it squirts,” he stated, stepping toward’s V and when she turned to look at him, or maybe explain the sexual nature of the name, Eli grabbed onto her jaw and tilted her head up so she was looking at him. “Open,” he told her, and V hesitated for half a second before doing as she was told, lips parting wide and sticking her tongue out; the jewelry there glinted in the sunlight from the kitchen window before it was drowned in white.

At that precise moment, Eli realized what he was doing, hand on her jaw as he watched her pupils envelop the gray-green of her irises, his body caging V between him and the kitchen counter. His gut reaction was to panic, to apologize, to step away from her, to apologize again. Anxiety had turned whatever arousal he felt from the spontaneous action sour, but he didn’t have time to react to that, either, as V half laughed, half gagged on the cream he was still squirting. He yanked the squirty cream can away from her mouth, and before he could form the apology in his mouth, V seized the opportunity with his loosened grip to turn her head and suck his thumb into her mouth, forcing even more froth out of her mouth to stream down her chin.

Okay.

Yeah, this was okay.

He was overreacting.

Be confident, he reminded himself, with V’s own voice in his head. Eli leaned in and covered her mouth with his, replacing his thumb with his tongue, making a mess of them both now; cream was dripping down her jaw, sticking to his chin, the oily sweetness clung to both their tongues. She was on her tiptoes, arms around his neck to keep herself steady, and Eli blindly set the can of squirty cream on the counter behind her before grabbing two handfuls of her hips and pulling her closer to him. The thought crossed his mind that she was wearing too many clothes, even if she was just in one of his t-shirts, and he also had the urge to bite her; her neck, her shoulder, perhaps the underside of her breasts? The soft inside of her thigh? But there would be time for that later, not now. Not after they’d done such a good job of leaving his bedroom to come to the kitchen and forage for food. So, reluctantly, Eli pulled away.

“Fine,” V sighed and opened her eyes to look up at him as her arms fell away. “Squirty cream.”

He tried not to laugh but a huff still escaped him as she lowered back to the soles of her feet. “Grilled cheese,” Eli replied, meeting her halfway.

#sleepanon rant #writers block edition #mdni #fanfiction #sleep token #vessel sleep token #vessel #vessel is eli and v is an oc #don't click on keep reading if you're under 18 please #i had mentioned the #car park vs parking lot #discrepancy in an ask from #@frothingatthemaw #and it reminded me of this scene i wrote *several months ago*#anyway uh... yeah 👀#squirty cream

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demeterdefence · 9 months ago

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all the comments on the recent chapter saying how demeter has "changed" and "how much better she is" ... FOOLS. she was ALWAYS right she was ALWAYS good you were all just too weak and up persephone's ass to SEE IT. you do not DESERVE her now!!! you never did!!!

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #there's gonna be a lot of text posts in the tag and i am so sorry #i've had feelings for MONTHS and nowhere to put them #generally speaking i don't read the comments because i value my health #but every so often i give in and it's like oh yeah everyone here is insane #and the people criticizing the TERRIBLE ART are actually being insulted for ... questioning an ''art style''#babes there IS no style it didn't even pass the SKETCH STAGE

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ssreeder · 7 months ago

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I'm so looking forward to iroh and zuko properly talking and seeing irohs reaction to zuko being gay.

Like we all know he doesn't agree with the fire nation rn but how will he react?

Will he not support him cause sokkas a guy? Will he not support him because it's SOKKA? Will he accept him? Will he reveal he's known for years zuko was gay?

Especially with everything that happened with zhao, regarding to what jee said to bato on their date. (Which is a very understandable perspective, zuko just got out of this very sexually traumatising situation and almost immediately starts a relationship (his first relationship) with sokka, but then again it is a very unique situation)

One thing I love about some atla fics is how they portray the FNs thoughts on queerness, cause on one hand they were one of the only country's (I think) that treated men and women the same but then again it's also the fucking fire nation.

And I also think zukos whole canon arc can be very comparative to queerness,

His dads an asshole and after speaking out against him he throws him out, and zuko try's for 3 years to regain his father's love and acceptance, and then faced with the opportunity of regaining it takes it immediately regardless of who or what he may hurt (iroh, his own morals etc) but once he makes it back home realises how fucked up everything is and eventually confronts his dad and openly tells him he doesn't agree with him then runs aways.

I also wonder if iroh secretly knows jee is queer it doesn't seem that likely to me but it also is iroh so who knows.

I do think Iroh’s reaction will be a big moment for not only the story but for Zuko’s character development. Right now, Zuko’s technically still a prisoner, holding himself there by assuming Iroh will not understand or judge him when in reality he’ll never know what his uncle is thinking until they TALK ABOUT IT. (Which the FN royal family is just sooo good at healthy communication I don’t understand why this is so hard for them lol?!)

I do agree that the suddenness of the relationship combined with the intensity from both zuko and Sokka is very alarming for people looking at it from the outside (I mean we all totally get it cause we were there but others are like uhhhh hmmmm ok this might be concerning) so I get them gossiping and wondering if this is truly real or what the fucks going on with those boys.

I love Zukos canon arc because there’s just so much about zukos story that can be relatable no matter who you are and I think that’s why he is a fan favorite (it doesn’t explain why we torture him the way we do but ehhhh it’s fine haha)

Hmmmmmm does iroh know Jees gay? Depends on how saucy those music nights got ;)

#HAHAHA DO SEE THE JEEROH JOKE SOCKS?!?! I hope you see it through all your House reblogging nonsense haha #Jk you obsess over your new blorbos I support you!#I love this ask thank you #I also love that canon gave us so much to work with but left it loose enough we could do what we wanted #like I’ve read the fire nation written so many different ways in fics it’s insane #And I love all the unique thoughts!#I will continue to flesh out the FN little by little as we progress #An azula pov (or someone from her squad) will be part of every new chapter until the end #She’s a coming haha #I don’t know if iroh knows Jee is gay #Or that jee is like one date away from hooking up with bato haha #Or that zuko is already kind of hooking up with sokka (not really but I mean they’re getting prettttttttty snuggly haha)#But yeah idk I’m excited this next chapter it is A LOT #& we will be SUPER CLOSE to getting some answers to your questions lol #Thanks for this cool ask these are my favorite asks #Sorry if you’ve sent me an ask lately and I haven’t responded I’m getting better at that I promise #I will say though that I don’t respond to asks if I genuinely don’t know what to say or if I feel I might come off too mean or rude.#So yeah sorry anyone who’s ask I didn’t respond #(I also forget them in drafts and then feel weird about posting it after it’s been a month so I’m sorrrryyyyyy…)#Ok phew this was a lot of tags sorry #monsieugrgraves #Leaving it all behind #LIAB #ITF #ask

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