#yeah i know this is embarrassing but i kinda dont care anymore

[radiopixelctive]

so,

i tried to repeat some artstyles of cool and awesome people

and i think it's not that bad probably

i won't tag owners of these styles because there's no point in doing so anyways.

dont check the tags if you dont like silly minors overreacting and hating themselves publicly and etc

[kroosluvr]

the celeste celexcity kroosluvr swap au (i don't have a good name for this yet)

basics bc i haven't decided much yet

UHHH basically what it says on the images... akira is playing on maruki's side and they don't know if it's just to be a contrarian or if he actually believes in it. but akira in this au is very ends-justify-the-means + the fact that he's a dead man so he dgaf that it's the "wrong decision." he won't be there to see it anyways, no matter which route they take, but at least in the fake reality umm One version of akira kurusu is happy!

engine room and stuff plays out as normal i imagine those black mask plot beats r the same

+ post engine room, in 3rd sem akira's personality doesn't rlly change all that much. hes always been Shrewd Scammer Silver tongued untrustworthy bastard type and nothing changes even then. there are moments when he seems more 'vulnerable' but also sumire+goro cant be certain if its an act either

i think akira has a "well if they both hate me thatll make things easier" mindset regardless

shido is still goro's dad and all that and akira works for shido for whatever reason and he learns abt that and holds it over goro's head the same way he grates on sumire abt kasumi

o yeah akira wasnt like Particularly close w kasumi (he isnt particularly close w anyone) but they talked casually. he never rlly met sumire. it's funny when he meets 'kasumi' bc like obviously shes lying LMAO but he just genuinely doesnt care enough to find out (<- akira very selfish and just focused on his own goals on his lonesome). either way his interactions w her are funny bc hes like Hahahh yeah... (What hte hell isgoing on. Whatever)

also i think this goro doesn't meet all the pthieves/confidants in the same Order as canonverse akira, like i feel like he'd "team up" with yusuke first somehow (ake/kita fan THUMBSUP EMOJ)

sumire basically thesame. i changed her earring color frm gold-> silver just for differentiation pruposes (and itll fit better w her pthief design in swap bc itll be differnetntn!!! yay!!) uhhh but shes kinda more sardonic out loud thanks to akira being annoying

shes rlly embarrassed abt being "kasumi" to goro and so shes all like distancing herself like "sorry i know it was stupid of me and i totally get it if u dont trust me anymore bc i wasnt who i said i was" etc but goros also like thats in the past and also we kinda are the only ones in the world rn so we just have to put that aside for now and also kick akiras ass

THATS AL I CAN THINK OF RN it's kinda vibes right now bc im never good at figuring out entire plotlines LMFASOPFJS024320 falls over. Major plot holes probably and shit wont make sense it's a big JUST TRUST ME + i just wanna draw random stuff w them moment ummm uhh uh runs

[onismdaydream]

HIIII!!!!! it's me again, the most obsessed and horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

Didn't have anything to do today so I have been on tumbler looking for any yuji content I can get my hands on :p! And I am just OBSESSED with headcanons, specifically yuji as your boyfriend! AHH!!!

Like, how would he first tell you he likes you? How long would it take? Ugh, now me personally, I can only imagine having a movie night alone, megumi and nobara canceled ofc because they don't want to watch whatever bs movie yuji picks :(. And then so there you are, Both cuddled up on the couch, a little to close together, and he is just.. so flustered! But why? It's not like he likes you or anything! Well, turns out he does and he JUST realized. So when the two protagonists in the romantic comedy yall are watching suddenly confess, he can't hold it back! It just blurts out of his mouth..which would be a bad thing, until you reveal you like him back!♡

Idk, I just find it soo cute, and honestly totally something he would do. 🤷‍♀️. But then like, first date? Would he take you to eat, the movies, or maybe to the mall?

Now this one, I'm not too sure, to many options and I love them all, but he would DEFINITELY make it romantic and cute ><!

Okay, but now like one of the MILLION dollar questions is.... how would he act on your period!

I'm sorry, but every single small headcanon, or fic of how ANYBODY would treat you while ur on your period is straight up Crack to me. I NEED IT. I love the wholesome headcanons. 😔🎀!

I think.. he would notice that your acting different, he cares about you after all so he notices every little thing. So when he sees you look uncomfy or maybe rubbing you hand on your thigh, trying to relieve some pain.. he asks you what's wrong! And when you tell him, I feel like he would IMMEDIATELY do whatever you want to make you feel better. LITERALLY.

"Oh. Really? Is there anything I can do?"

Chocolate? In ur hands the second you ask. Meds for the pain, he's got them? Blanket? YES! cuddles? Okay, is that even a question? OBVI!!!

Second million dollar question is how/what he would do yalls first time. Last headcanon i said was crack, but this one is like all drugs COMBINED. I like to think it would be a makeout session gone to far..

That movie you played has a sex scene, which, really doesn't bother you or him.. or it usually doesn't. Today though, a small thought forms in his brain. How would you look? Sound? Smell? Taste? Feel..? And then it's akward, because you're so close, and his hand just starts massaging your thigh, and he has to kiss you! Which at this point in the relationship isn't like super surprising, I'm sure yuji loves to kiss you. But this one feels different, yujis face is just soo pink, and he almost can't keep his hands off of you! Cupping one cheek while pushing you down on the couch with the other, so he's on top.. then one of his knees pushes your thighs apart.. 🧎‍♀️

You know the rest.

But I also like to think maybe yall are making out, you on top of his lap, but you can't stop squirming! And it really isn't on purpose, you swear.. but yuji can only take so much, And eventually he can't hide his moans anymore!

Yeah idk I feel like humping n shit, maybe cummin in his pants is SO hot. UGH

I don't think it would really be planned..😋🎀

Also, I feel like he would be super flustered and kinda embarrassed with oral. In the sense that, he could spend hours between your thighs (we all know he's a munch), but the first time you ask to suck him off, he probably turns into a whiny mess.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS. Like- I'm sorry, but no matter how dominant or kinky people make yuji, which I won't lie I love, you CANNOT tell me this man doesn't whine or moan your name. You simply can't. LOOK AT HIM.!!! 🧎‍♀️🙏

I just, have so many thoughts and headcanons.. l can't control myself yuji headcanons are literally my drug. I love the subby ones, the Dom ones, fluff ones, smut ones... I DONT CARE. If a yuji headcanon exists, I WILL read it.

Omg, I have so much more but I have already made this soo long. I honestly just wanted to ask if you would ever make your own yuji head canons? Maybe you already have and I can't find it.. BUT LET ME KNOW!

I just HAVE to know what headcanons are floating around in that wonderful brain of yours!♡

Also so glad to see you liked my past rant♡♡!!!

I really hope you have a good day/night!!!! Make sure ur taking care of urself babes bc I can't survive without you><! 🎀

(Also sorry for any typos or whatever, this was 100% rushed because my fingers physically cannot keep up with all the thoughts I have of yuji.)

With a heart full of love, and a brain full of yuji,

-your horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

hi lovely <333

gonna put this under a read more so it doesn't take up too much space!

oooh headcanons are fun!! i don't post a ton, not for any particular reason, i just seem to gravitate towards snippets in established relationships.

omg yuji just blurting it out :(( what a sweetheart! he is mortified but i feel like he would try his best to play it cool, though his face feels like it's on fire from how flushed it is!! but then you tell him that you also like him and he visibly relaxes SO much and has the biggest smile on his face and he immediately wants to hug you and hold you close <3

i think for first dates, he would lean towards movies/mall, this way it's still semi-public. it's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you alone (he wants to soooo badly), but i think he thinks he has to take it slow and be sweet and gentlemanly. like he was definitely taught the "proper way" to court a girl by his grandfather, so he holds doors open for you and pulls out your chair and brings you flowers and stuff and its just so sweet of him idk. he might hesitate a bit for pda stuff, but once you give him the okay, he is constantly holding your hand or wrapping an arm around you!! maybe even asking for a kiss!! (side note: i think yuji gets all pouty when you forget to give him a goodbye kiss later in the relationship)

yes!! yuji would ABSOLUTELY be doing anything and everything for you as soon as he notices any symptoms or side effects. he's also the type to track your period on his phone lol just so he can prepare and give you some chocolate or whatever else might help! he is just like. the nicest and most caring boyfriend ever <3333

OOOH i love love love both of those for first time ughhh!! i have a fic i've been meaning to work on more but i'm just a little too fried to write much of anything, anyway its a dry humping fic with yuji because i just know he loves the feeling of it ! he can't even get embarrassed from cumming in his pants because it feels so good and he likes how dirty it is (he's a bit of a perv :3). BUT i also love the idea that he just can't help himself and he's so wrapped up in the moment that he doesn't even notice that his knee is pressing against your core... like he's licking into your mouth and grinding against you and you have to pull away because holy shit this feels great and you want more!! and it's kinda rushed and messy, barely taking clothes off but you both need each other so bad!!! (he makes up for it by taking his time with you for round 2 lol)

oh what i would GIVE to suck his dick... yuji is 100% super vocal in my opinion, like he cannot be quiet, which is why his mouth is always on you when he's fucking you! he's always kissing or biting or talking, so when you're sucking him off, he is left to just talk and make so much noise. whining and praising you because it feels so good to have your mouth wrapped around him <3 like imagine sitting between his strong thighs, looking up at him, and his eyes are half lidded, mouth open as he breaths heavily, tongue darting out to lick at his lips, muscles flexing as he tries not to force your head further down or buck his hips up.... ugh he's so hot...

i'd love to write more headcanons and other things for yuji!! its just a matter of me getting inspired or having the energy right now. work has been super draining for me so its been a little difficult to get my brain working lol but im hoping it'll pass in a few weeks

thank you for sharing these with me!!! i love hearing other people's thoughts and headcanons like its just so fun to see what's similar and whatnot :3

[brofightiscancelled]

yapping about how i approached translating karamatsu's brand new world. just discussing the localization liberties i took and other things i think are interesting. i just love yapping sorry

part 4/4 because i forgot about tumblr post image limits lol

CHAPTER 10

lit translation: "Come on, shut up and follow me". but！"come quietly" is used colloquially in english as a threat, so i got to use that to mean the same thing, sound more natural, AND even make it sound more like a threat :-)

admitting my weakness: im not sure if i properly grasped what iyami is talking about, all of this is a pretty elaborate guess. if anyone knows better please lmk. lol

example of Sauce: lit translation here is just "we have no future, right?" but i put more sauce on it to convey a more casual and childish speaking tone

oso uses 遊んで which has the kanji for "play" in it and generally means in a fun way, etc. i translated the first one more literally but the second one is more literally like "let's live a fun life". this doesn't sound that natural in english and also doesn't quite convey the same meaning imo (oso means more of a "carefree"/"without worries"/"selfish" connotation whereas "fun life" feels more like an "exciting" connotation in english), so even though i lose the childish factor i went with "live freely" here.

totoko says "you must be happy!" here, to which karamatsu responds "uh huh. yeah, i'm happy", but that doesnt sound quite natural to me, so i went with "you must be thrilled!"/"i AM thrilled" since i feel like that Is a colloquially used phrase. likewise i swap out karamatsu's "uh huh" here for a confirming "right" because i feel like "right?"/"right" is a more fun conversation rhythm (followed totoko going "right?!" a third time the second time this exchange happens) . idk this is just kinda vibes

totoko's dialogue here is really simple but i spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about it.

あっそ afaik is kinda like "oh, i see" where if you say it in an accusing tone it has a different meaning ("is that how it is?") than if you say it in a defeated tone ("oh, okay."). obviously i dont know what tone of voice totoko is saying this in.... so i just went with "is that so" in the hope that it lands between these meanings

second panel she says smth like, "if you don't come back, it's okay" or "it's fine if you don't come back". but i feel like the former sound slightly unnatural, and the latter comes off like she doesn't want him to come back, which i don't think is necessarily true. i also think both of these options read as... caring, when what she says is actually a bit more dismissive, like she's writing him off. so even though it might be inserting more meaning that was there, i went with "don't worry about coming back", which i think conveys both this dismissive nature, as well as removing totoko's feelings from the equation. whether or not karamatsu comes back is not a concern of totoko's anymore, her emotions aren't relevant to his decision anymore. she's cutting him off, and therefore letting him go. in the end im pretty happy with my word choice for this fucking. 6 word sentence

i just love this line soooo fucking much. i also thought about the wording of this line a fair bit, i considered "there's nowhere else we can exist but here" and "this is the only place we can exist" but in the end i think the one i went with captures the sauce best. goddd i love this line it's so good. jumping and popping

this might be a bit of a localization flop now that im rereading. he lit says "your / your world that you want is actually", with the first part of the sentence repeated, which now that im reading it back kind of feels almost like a stutter which is kinda very cute and human of him.... also i think i straight up goofed now that im rereading this, shouldnt this be as "the real world that you desire"? i think i just misread this straightup. and now that im rereading this i think his tone here in these first few panels should be a lot more conversational than intimidating. i think i got lost in the sauce a bit at this point. maybe ill go back and fix it (it's really annoying to fix the images in the tumblr pages)

well that's a good note to end this off on LOL. i hope everyone enjoyed it. feel free to ask me any other questions. as you can tell i love to yap

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

[uiruu]

would people be mad if i started using tumblr more again but didnt start using my kpop sideblog again? i dont want to use that account, i dont think. i already just reblog some of that stuff on this account when i use tumblr and so if i start using tumblr more, i'll just keep doing that. nothing too egregious, i stopped associating with the majority of Kpop Tumblr like years ago. at this point im too old and jaded to be able to stomach the way kpop people act on social media lol. even on twitter i keep my circle small and all that. anyway.

i dont really know what tumblr's overall attitude to kpop is anymore, tbh. like, my general sphere's attitude, anyway. i feel like when i got into it in 2019, it was like... still kinda taboo and cringe and like hashtag Problematic to like kpop hahaha. i feel like its so normalized now that probably nobody gives a shit. i dont really know. i used to feel like i had to justify it by talking about all the super musically interesting and experimental stuff in the genre, but i feel like nobody really needs a justification anymore. i feel like people just listen to stuff like newjeans now without even feeling like theyre treading into kpop infested waters. am i wrong? i cant really gauge the vibe

basically, does anyone even give a shit anymore lol? people used to have hot takes about kpop, either for or against. i feel like "hot takes" about kpop went extinct like four years ago though. it just... is what it is. does the industry have problems? yeah, of course it does. every industry does. do you listen to american pop music? cause brother, it's all problems. but in terms of music, i think any shred of stigma that kpop once had has just been fully lost. im more embarrassed to listen to black metal and noise rock than i am to listen to newjeans and red velvet. idk. and i do listen to those quite a bit still. it's all music, man. life is too short and empty to care

[cass1dyyy]

MYSTERY OF LOVE

read part two here!

contains: fluff, angst, suggestive content (?)

summary: y/n goes to northen italy in the summer of 1983 with her american dad, as he is an intern of the dad of the perlman family. y/n keeps to herself, as usual, revelling in the beautiful scenery around her, but eventually forms a bond with a curious elio. (trope: strangers, to friends, to lovers)

warnings: underage smoking, underage drinking, reader’s dad is kinda neglective and lashes out - literally just a horrible person, swearing, mentions of makeouts, kissing, mentions of sex, elio and reader are 17, talk of reader’s mums death, if there are anymore warnings as the story goes on ill add them here

(not proof-read, i apologise for any mistakes!)

your dad pulls into the driveway of the large, magnificent perlman house. you cant help but gape at the building, overtaken by its rustic beauty. your dad gets out of the car, heaving out both of your guys’ luggage.

“y/n, come help me please.”

you shuffle out of the car, taking your suitcase and heaving your smaller backpack over your shoulder and walking towards the house. your dad followed behind, before stepping forward and knocking on the large door.

“ciao! hello! come in, come in!” says who you can only imagine to be mrs perlman.

your dad beams, flashing a toothy smile, and greets her warmly. you smile slightly, saying hello. she leads you into the kitchen where you see mr perlman, who your dad was working for.

“hello, hello. i’m samuel, as you both already know. its good to see you both. an easy journey i presume?” he chuckles, embracing your dad and patting him on the back.

“yes, thank you.” you say.

“now, where is elio?” mrs perlman says, thinking out loud.

elio. their only child. you’d heard about him a lot rrom your dad. he believed you could be friends “or even more” you recalled. you scoffed whenever he said that, finding it ridiculous. you’d be fine by yourself. boys were a waste of time. obviously you’d be as respectful as possible, as you were sure your dad would kill if you misbehaved or embarrassed him.

“elio!” she called, and you heard the thumping and creaking of the stairs.

“here he is. saluta i nostri ospiti.” (say hello to our guests.)

“hi.” he says, smiling sheepishly.

you do your favourite thing, observe. you take in his appearance. he had brown curly hair, brown eyes, and paleish skin. you then looked at his clothes. he wore a navy shirt with white stripes, and some denim shorts, with a watch on his wrist.

“y/n??” your dad’s voice snapped you out of your trance, as you looked expectantly at him, noticing his face, he was doing a poor job at concealing his anger and embarrassment.

“introduce yourself.” he said to you through gritted teeth.

humilated, you say.

“hi, elio. im y/n. uhh… and im his daughter.”

you motion to your dad. everyone lets out a hearty chuckle as you sigh in relief. it wasnt meant to be funny.

“i’ll show you to your room.” he says, beckoning you to follow him.

you follow him up the staircase, taking a few peeks into the rooms you passed by. elio eventually turns into a room. it has two beds, a wardrobe, and a stunning view of the garden, as well as your own bathroom.

not too shabby. you thought.

you scan the room, noticing lots of books stacked on the shelves, and a string of clothes and underwear leading out to the door. he follows your gaze, and hurriedly picks up the clothes as you hold back a laugh at his frantic movement.

“was this your own room?” you ask.

“huh? oh uh, yeah.” he says.

“sorry for taking it.”

“dont worry about it.” he smiles, and leaves, letting you get unpacked and settle in.

the foreign feeling of being in a completely different country, and living in a house with lets face it, strangers, had tired you out. you felt a little bit strange and just wanted to nap, like usual.

you quickly packed your clothes away, stuffing them in the wardrobe with no care, and changed into some comfier clothes, before heading to the balcony. you embraced the breath-taking view of the vast, sunny garden.

peach trees grew on one side, with tall, unkept grass surrounding them. around the centre of the garden was a fountain-like pool, that spewed water at the end, and a tree shaded a table that would be perfect for reading. you looked directly below you and saw a long table leading on from the kitchen, where you supposed you’d be eating for the time you stayed here.

you breathed in a sigh of fresh air, and closed the shutters and looked around the dark room contently, before getting into your bed. it felt strange, as it wasn’t your normal bed, but you managed to settle down due to your tiredness from the journey. you fell asleep very quickly, dozing off into a deep slumber.

you woke to the sound of crickets chirruping outside, as you rubbed your eyes and slowly got out of bed. stretching, you opened the shutters and realised you’d slept for hours. the sky was a dark blue, and as you looked onto the garden infront of you, and heard voices below you. you rushed downstairs, speeding out onto the patio.

“im so sorry i didnt come down, i was asleep!” you really wanted to make a good impression on the perlmans, and you knew your dad would be angry.

he was, and you knew it by the glint in his eye as he beckoned for you to sit next to elio. you were still in comfy shorts and a tanktop, and you felt your cheeks heat up slightly in embarrassment. you put some spaghetti and salad onto your plate and just listened in to the conversations going on around the table, occasionally answering any questions that were directed towards you.

“oh, y/n, there’s a sort of local gathering tomorrow night that we’d all like to go to, your father included of course. it will include some drinks, chatting, and dancing, if you’re into that, of course.” she smiled politely at you. (i havent watched cmbyn in a little bit, im going to watch it this week so i cant remember what that thing was called and why they went so bear with me)

it wasnt really your thing, but you didnt want to be rude. you’d just sit back and watch, right?

“sure, that sounds fun.” you replied, watching the conversation shift to your dad’s studies.

you puffed out a breath of smoke, looking around the garden illuminated by lights, lost in thought. you suddenly heard the crunch of stones next to you and quickly threw the cigarette onto the floor, stepping on it. your dad came and stood by the wall, next to you, lighting a cigarette as you both stood in silence.

“y’know, you embarrassed me today. in many ways.” he said, after a minute.

“sorry, dad.”

“you should be sorry. after your mother died, you took a turn for the worse. imagine her seeing you now.” he scoffed.

the words he just uttered hit you like bullets through skin. you held back the tears brimming in your eyes, blurring your vision.

“what is your problem? if mom saw you now, she wouldnt even recognise you.” you hissed, your voice shaking slightly.

“what did you just say to me?” your dad growled, blowing smoke directly into your face.

you didnt even bother to reply snarkily to him, as you turned on your heel and retreated back into the unfamiliar house you would supposedly call home for the summer. you stormed upstairs, slamming your bedroom door and sobbing as soon as you hit your bed.

A/N: this is just a little introduction to the story! i hope you enjoyed what little there is to actually read 🙏🏻. dw it’ll get much better from here im like itching to write more chapters

follow my wattpad @cass1dywrites

[dragon-queen21]

M BACK WHATWHATHWATTTT

-Yeah i so agree with you on the pet regressin chopper hc ! i honestly like that hc more OH MY GOSH, when hes petregressin, i forgot what point it is but he stays in his reindeer form, hes standing on shaky legs like a fawn, ITS OVER FOR ME

- i was thinmin about this last night: luffy and the crew meeting ace in alabasta, luffy regresses of course, hes happy to see his brother, and just ace trying to embarrassing him in front of the crew (in a loving way of course)

like giving him really silly nicknames (personal fan on lulu for this senario) or cooing and doting over him in spanish

- i have a ace+luffy hc that ace can dance really well and luffy cant dance for shit. enter little luffy, and hes more uncoordinated then before. imagie ace trying to teach him how yo dance, or doin that father daughter thing where luffys on aces feet yk?

- or when luffy is in babyspace and way to little to do anythin, ace will carry him around and do that thing were ace will say something and then ask luffy who will do nothing but look at ace back and make baby noises

“I cant believe this! Can you believe this lu?”

“bahwhah”

“Exactly what I said!”

-I dont remember if it was you who orginally said it but i really likedthe hc, i definitely see luffy and usopp regressing together unknowingly, before they knew they were regressors (first time it happened the crew was confused. the kids were on the floor playin, and usopp took to clumsily carryin luffy around. why was that?)

- smoker findin luffy little and just, hes not gonna capture luffy like this. smoker holding luffy by the back of his shirt like a baby cat and dropping him off at the sunny and staying with him until the crew returns

smoker is canonically good with kids NO WAY IN HELL hes gonna hurt luffy when hes regressed. hes not doin that to someone whos to out of it to protect himself

okay thats all i can write rughr now i have absolutely DEMONIC cramps i cant think anymore

but yes olease make sure to take care of yourself, your health is always more important than anythin

i hope your havin a good day 🤍🤍

📷

Hello again! :D

~I like to think that the nicknames just get sillier and sillier over time. Especially if Luffy says that he’s embarrassed. Clearly that’s what an older brother is for >:3

~Oh my gosh I have such a soft spot for anything with just, second languages. Little know fact I’m actually half Hispanic. My Spanish is VERY rusty mind you, but still. Solidly agreeing with you. This headcanon makes me very happy :3

~I feel like Luffy’s Spanish would be very broken so half of the things his brother is telling him just goes over his head. Especially if he’s super small to try and put together the words, but in a way it just makes him smaller.

~With Ace and Luffy dancing, it’s mostly just Ace spinning him around in a circle because Luffy refuses to do anything but stand on his feet giggling “again again!”

~Awwww cute cute cute cute cute!!!! Ace could probably fool others into thinking that he actually understands what Luffy is trying to tell him

~I don’t believe that was my headcanon but it sounds adorable! Actually I vaguely recall seeing that somewhere. That’s going to drive me crazy until I figure out where.

~Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh gosh. Captain Smoker, let’s talk about him for a moment. I love him- so much 👏 I also have such a love for anything regressed protagonist being taken care of by an antagonist.

~And he is good with kids, kinda rough around the edges. And wouldn’t it be really funny if he finds Luffy out gettin ice cream and there are just- too many similarities to a small child and Luffy seems so out of it. Smoker mentions something along the lines of “where’s your crew” half because he wants to know if he needs to call reinforcement’s, half because he genuinely is curious. And Luffy doesn’t know, Zoro wandered off at some point and it’s scary being all alone. And yeah no something is definitely wrong, he looks like he’s about to start crying. If anyone asks Smoker used this as an opportunity to locate the straw hats ship. Why didn’t he call in his report? Because he was kept under very close surveillance (aka a mentally four year old who wouldn’t leave him alone)

Not sure if this all makes sense but I think you get the idea <3

Take care of yourself as well, make sure to take it easy and get lots of rest. <3<3<3

[riveranova]

(A/N): Aaaaand mama's back! First of all, let me say how grateful I was and am to get so many messages from people sharing their stories and wishing me all the best - made me tear up multiple times not gonna lie. Thank you all so much and let's dive right back in. <3

IkePri NSFW Headcanons x GN! Reader - Part 2

Warnings: Smut | minors DNI, would this really be a Nova original if there wasn't at least a lil bit crack?, Licht's getting a little sad

Characters: Chevalier, Luke, Yves, Jin, Licht, Leon, Ikemen Prince

Word count: 690

Chevalier Michel

yk i had a thought for this one

obviously hes a top

but but, hear me out - what if he wasn't?

:)

imagine his cold, blue eyes that normally resemble a frozen lake

well that thick ice is now shattered as he's pressing his head into his pillow, trying not to wake up his annoying brothers (Clavis) while you suck him off

hes a lil bit embarrassed about the way his fists and thighs are clenched together because hes Chevalier Michel, no one makes him this weak

well, exept for you of course

but no one is allowed to find out

i think that hes a little bit bratty as a bottom

like, you want to make him beg? well beg for it.

its kind of a back and forth

but just threaten him to stop and its like a different man lies before you

just imagine him beg for you to get him off in that deep voice

Luke Randolph

i'm a huge suporter of the 'luke only cuddlefucks' theory that a great researcher (me) brought to life

i mean that man sleeps the entire day so why not, right?

he gets horny really fast, just like Gilbert

hes also big, and i dont only mean his body

big boy, gimme a big booooy-

strong hands hold you in place - in front of him, holding you against his chest while slowly fucking you from behind

100% whispers sleepy shit into your ear

honestly so sweet

idk why this is so funny to me but imagine him just falling asleep mid-sex

you're just laying there like '...uh''

lucky for you, this man is into sleep play, so just finish the job yourself~

Yves Kloss

honestly? i think hes one of those really cute and soft tops

soft tops are the best, are they not

but i don't think hes really focused on the sex part

hes a big aftercare guy

he honestly just wants to spoil you and make sure you're all pretty for him

150 step korean skincare routine after every single session without fail

bathing together with him is the most normal thing in the world

hums into your ear while massaging your shoulders

praise praise praise

i honestly think that Yves would be so fucking obsessed with you - in a non-weird way tho

if youre comfortable then he is too <3

Jin Grandet

alright, heres my completely objective take on him

daddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddy

god i love this man so much

crush me with those honke- okay, sorry

i think hes the kind of guy who doesn't want to have one big session but like short ones scattered across the day

lil quickies yk

hes also shameless

so he just pulls you away whenever he wants to and you know what he wants

he has these 'please im so horny its not cool anymore' eyes

and if youre like me then fuck it, leggo

gives zero fucks about how loud you are

castle staff hates it when he does that but as i said

shameless (hot) asshole

Licht Klein

grumpy ass bottom

not even bratty, just grumpy as fuck

but i think thats what makes the entire thing so thrilling for him

yeah so what if he doesnt care what you do? what are you gonna do about it?

okay maybe hes a little bratty

not the guy that makes a lot of sounds while having sex

he kinda just lays there enjoying the attention hes getting from you - the sex is just a lil bonus

tries to take control on very impatient days

but nuh- uh, his moody ass is staying down

100% sure that he has these 'pls humiliate me' days

theyre rare, yeah, but getting told hes the 'bad sibling' his entire life fucked a little with his brain

pls give him aftercare

Leon Dompteur

i swear i need three tries to get his last name right every single fucking time

anyways, this mans obviously a top

he treats you like youre the deity hes praying to every single day

literally worthsips you so much

i think hes a big vanilla boi

no choking or bondage, just sweet sweet vanilla sex

his hands are huge and everywhere, like a blanket that just never ends

big praise guy too

loves to give it and absolutely thrives off of getting some back

please tell him that hes doing a good job, tell him how good his cock is making you feel

hes a big cuddler too, so get ready for some cozy aftercare <3

[antiendovents]

heyyy its ussss! its r (or maybe Eva idk) (nope yeah its r) and I just wanted to say you're awesome!!! (EVA GET OUT) we think you are super cool,sorry, but evalynn wanted to say smth to ya.

hiiiiiiii I think you're so cool and um I'm back and feeling way better and anyway yea love you (platonically) you're so cool yeah 💕💖

well that was rather embarrassing. the love letter we were referencing was our second message to you, in which saturn got way too in detail about me.

we are not dating lol, I have a gf (well, me and Eva share her, I think Saturn is aroace and evalynn is a child so yeah) (and our other alters almost never front) (cept one but I do not want to introduce her to you because she sucks and I really hate her) (shes very abrasive and generally assholey, she yells a lot at r and the rest of us).

anyway uhhhhh yeah I have like a quick question. can an alter have a backstory that's basically me but kinda tweaked? so evalynns backstory is basically mine (I'm the host), except I have a lot of trauma from COVID so for her COVID never happened. shes like forever in third grade, before COVID started and um kinda like a fictive but from real life. she also hates reminders of COVID so I'm gonna make sure she does not read the rest of this message cuz her mental health is already sorta iffy!!!

OH I NEED TO WARN YOU BOUT SMTH. my parents raised me z!onist and I'm not anymore cuz like... a lot of very obvious reasons, but evalynn does not have the skills to process this, so she generally does not talk about any of this. I've been doing my very best to make sure she doesn't know anything, so she may be a bit oblivious. we were never the sort of z!onist who wanted to like, kill everyone (tho I know some of those) we actually thought that the west bank and gaza should be allowed to be its own country even when we were younger, but she is still very connected to israel (we are Israeli, but again, stand for Palestine) so ummm please ignore her lol anyway bye lol (insert nervous laughter)

PLEASE DONT HATE US

-🌌🌠

hi again you two!! Thank you so much! You seem cool too (all of you) :D

And hi Evalynn! You're awesome and I'm glad you're feeling better now! Love you too (platonically ofc!) and I hope you have a great day(or night depending on where you are in the world!)

Also I didn't even notice that lol! When I go back now yeah that kind of was a love letter lol! but I guess a platonic love letter since you have a girlfriend and they're aroace?? Either way it's kind of cute (like in the way where you see best friends or siblings give eachother gifts or care about eachother a lot and you just go "awh")

And don't worry about that, we kind of get that! We'd probably introduce ourselves too if we didn't switch so much, infact we still need to work on introductions on our personal blog, we just don't know who to do cause they either stop fronting for a long time or cant be bothered to do it (and also we have a few alters like that, so we get why you might not want to introduce her to us, but either way you should know she's welcome here even if she is a bit "assholey")

And yeah, it is possible for alters to have similar but different "backstories" or whatever one would want to call it! I'd assume it would be that your brain just witholds memories of COVID from her due to it being too traumatic or stressful for her to handle, which might explain why she only seems to remember what happened before COVID and why she doesn't like reminders of it? (I don't know, I'm making assumptions based on how our system works a little, but our point is yeah it's entirely possible!)

And that's fine, we don't hate you for that. You cannot control how you were raised or what your parents believe in or even where you were born, you've changed and recognised that the belief is harmful and that's good enough, that's literally all you can do. It's understandable that some alters may not be able to fully process it, sometimes these things can be incredibly complicated and trying to change what you grew up with is hard, we're proud of you for doing it anyways, even if not all of you understand it perfectly

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[anonzentimes]

do you also get so so so sick of "my fandom sucks" jokes? i got into sonic last year and the series is awsome but the fandom (mostly on twitter) is annoyingly full of "dont mess with us sonic fans we dont even like the games", and then i got into danganronpa and the exact same thing happened. people dont allow themselves to just enjoy anything for some reason????? as if they had to have a justification or apologize for having fun with a thing perceived as annoying by non fans??

anyways i really like your posts, thoughts and rambles so for that and as a fellow sonic and danganronpa enjoyer i want to know what your thoughts on this whole "haha i hate my fandom *stays in the fandom*" phenomenon are. i find it rather confusing personally

DUDE. OH MY GOD KINDA SAME??? Okay, I got into Danganronpa 3 years ago now and only recently last year got into Sonic, Well more like I finally got out of denial about the fact I could be a Sonic fan since I always cared and researched about the franchise more than somebody who wasn't a fan would LOL.

Anyways, It really depends on the context of the joke because I think it's funny when people don't even remember basic information and it's used there? But otherwise it's kinda weird and pointless. The reputation of the fans with media I liked alongside knowing someone who viewed their own interests negatively caused me to become really embarrassed about my interests for a while. I'm finally just kind of embracing myself again and not caring much anymore, I think the jokes and general feeling of people trying to apologize for enjoying something is a lot more harmful than people think. I can say a few of my joking "I hate the fandom," sentiments but it's always followed by SOMETIMES or a PART of the fandom when referring to any drama or specific people misunderstanding things. Every generalization has exceptions and I think it's quite unfortunate people kind of put themselves in a corner like that sometimes.

Honestly it also depends on what the person means when they say it too actually, because sometimes saying that means from the person that they've admitted they have this "bad" status as a fan of something and kind of have accepted it? Like they accept they have that status, say the status is bad, and then stick to it because they've accepted that they're "bad" and enjoy the thing. It honestly is kind of an interesting phenomenon. I don't know, it just kind of all depends on context I suppose.

Just overall I think the attitude people have of bunching status together because of reputation is kind of harmful but inevitable. I do know that whatever phenomenon it is I've been recently stopped being harmed by it from embracing myself lol. I still understand it has a reputation and I may say something like "Yeah, I'm a sonic/danganronpa fan" in a teasing way when it comes to cringe culture jokingly, but genuinely like I'm not sorry or guilty for enjoying anything anymore at all. I mean like, I'm the person who's gone out in public with my surprisingly comfy monokuma jacket and sonic backpack before LOL I don't care what anyone says I'm just having fun and living my life happily with the time I have in this world. I don't need to waste energy thinking about the reputation of the fans of the thing I'm enjoying as long as I'm enjoying it, and honestly life has been so much nicer after that finally solidified in my head again. Nobody lives forever and I'd rather spend it being myself and enjoying what I want to.

Basically my conclusion is this: It can be funny depending on context, primarily when someone isn't having great media literacy, and I think it's fine when exceptions to a generalizations are considered. HOWEVER in general I don't enjoy the negative tone people have towards themself and the guilt about enjoying something that is created with the negative attitude sometimes. We're all just like people on a floating rock I don't think anyone cares if you like the silly hedgehogs, and if they do then they're kind of a loser for getting upset over your enjoyment they should be more concerned with themselves and their enjoyment loll.

Sorry if this has typos or anything lol I was about to go to bed but this resonated with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out right away. Thanks for the ask!! <3

[harventheblorbo]

Hi,I really like your work.So can I get a fanfic about optimus prime with a human reader,where the reader is struggling with the fact that optimus chose jack over them to guard the key to vector sigma.(optimus is the guardian of the reader and the reader blames mostly themselves for being too weak and regretting every past traumatic experience they shared with optimus.They dont blame jack or optimus.)The reader tries to hide it bcs they dont want to embarrass themselves(as they see it) any further in front of optimus,but the thoughts that everyone dislikes them creep up again and so they become distant and try to make themselves very quiet/serious(they think of everyone as an enemy who finds them annoying again).

Also optimus reaction to that,what would he do?But in general angst with comfort(maybe an explanation as to why optimus didnt chose them).

Sorry if its too long or something doesnt fit the rules of the blog(couldnt find them😂)

One shot of TFP Optimus with a reader that can't understand why Optimus choose jack to guard the key of vector Sigma and not them!

Containing; Optimus Prime

___ is gender neutral and human

Warning; Angst, and swearing.

One shot Summary; ___ can't wrap their head around that Optimus picked Jack to protect the key to vecter sigma but some special bot notices.

When Optimus gave Jack the Key, my heart shattered. Why? Why was I so upset that Optimus gave Jack the key? Was it because maybe I thought that Optimus thought as me as too weak? I couldn't blame him if he did.

I didn't wanna ask Optimus because I was just too embarrassed. What if he got too nervous to tell me and told a lie? I mean I don't think he would but still it kinda hurts. I mean there has to be a reasonable explanation. I put my pencil down and closed my notebook. My therapist had been recommending that I should do journaling so I can have my head clear.

I mean it worked a little bit. But to be honest I think it just made me seem more awkward. The Video game buzzed and I heard Jack and Raf exclaim how the other cheated. It was a 2006 game that Ratchet bought so I doubt that Raf would know how to hack it anyway. Miko tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey ___, do you by chance have the answer for number 3 on our homework?" Miko asked as she sat down next to me with her homework. "Yeah, it's 8" I replied. To be honest, I haven't been feeling the best recently and felt tired.

"Thank you!" She yipped and ran off after writing the answer down. I did anything to help them as I thought I was responsible to do it since Jack had to do it all the time. But to be honest, I think my whole life is going to shit

But I don't wanna really bring it up to someone. What if I burden them? And who would be the right person to talk to it about it? Ratchet is always so grumpy and would brush me off. Arcee would just ask me to go away or something like that. Bulk head is too nice and I think I would overwhelm him. Ultra Magnus wouldn't be the best to go to for anything. So for now, I just keep quiet. Like I always have.

As the days pass, I realize how distant they have been with me. But then again Ive been distant with them and I think it's for the better. No one has really been talking to me. And whenever they do, its awkward and uncomfortable and small.

I don't really care anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. I can't tell if I'm pissed off or just pissed at my self for being a fuckin fool. I guess I was too late to realize when Optimus was more or less observing me throughout the week until I saw him walk up to the risen area for the humans.

"___? Is it alright if I have a word with you?" I heard Optimus's voice and looked up at him. His optics whirred a little bit and saw how focused he was. "Sure... What's up?" I replied. There was no one around so It was a perfect timing. "I'm sure I can speak on behalf of everyone and say that we are worried for you ___" There was brief science. I nodded to let him continue talking. "You've been distant to everyone. Even the children and it's worrying us. Tell me what's wrong. Please" Optimus leaned a little bit forward as I walked up to where he was.

"Well to be honest, I've been upset about the fact that you chose to give Jack the key..." I explained with a upset tone. Im honestly embarrassed to even be saying these words. I can feel my hands sweat as I fidget with my fingers.

Optimus blinked and pondered on what he was going to say. "I see now." He remarked. "Your wondering why I gave Jack the key and not you, I'm I correct?" Optimus asked. I couldn't do anything but nod my head. "___, the only reason I chose Jack to protect it was because Arcee asked me to." He explained. "Oh..." I quietly stated.

I kinda chuckled. "Well thanks for clearing it up" I thanked him as I looked at him fully while I scratched the back of my head a little. He simply nodded with a slight smile.

[liuisi]

Mariam: 2, 3, 14, 17, and 41 for her + B for you!

Samia: 7, 10, 27, 34, 38

Nour: 4, 8, 11, 13, 38

mariam:

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

mariam isn't really one for Displays Of Emotion like if she thinks something is funny she'll snort at the Most i think!!

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

works so hard during the day that she falls asleep instantly at night 👍 if that doesn't work sometimes she syncs up her breaths to a soft song playing in her head and that helps. sometimes

14. What animal do they fear most?

DESPISES spiders (technically an animal!). despite being the resident adult do NOT ask her to kill bugs for you

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

oh absolutely not . she just doesn't care anymore she has too many things on her plate to be embarassed

41. How do they feel about children?

well considering that she took care of eli and olivia i sure hope she likes them FHSKFJS . no yeah she doesn't like them in a "ohhh my gosh theyre so cute" way she's more of a. this is a tiny human and i need to take care of them and make sure they grow into a good person

B) What inspired you to create them?

okay. come closer. whispers in your ear. this was originally (many moons ago) a dsmp fic. that went through many many MANY changes at this point. but she started out as cwilbur. and then i was like well i need to write a she her pronoun or else ill go insane (and then her personality evolved obvs)

this got long so the rest is under the cut !!

samia: (these are funny to answer considering that she starts out the story dead but well it's good to develop her! for flashbacks!)

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

i think. anything that reminds her of being a kid triggers nostalgia and no she doesn't really like it. makes her feel like she can never truly go back home

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

probably every time she pretended to know what she was doing. in general. i think the thought has come back to her a lot like hey what if i Stopped doing that. what would happen. but she's too scared and embarrassed to ever actually do that

27. What causes them to feel dread?

see last question! the fact that she Doesn't know what she's doing !! ever!! and the thought that one day it'll be stripped back and everyone will see it

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

hard 👍 everyone give it up for samia guiltiest girl alive ! wait yk what. nour also. 🔥🔥🔥THE GUILT SISTERS🔥🔥🔥 and its about each other <3

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

cooking with her grandma i think. burghul sticking to her hands and her fingertips getting wrinkly from washing the dishes

nour:

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

funny thing if you asked nour this she would go oh easyyy i dont have problems trusting people i tell my friends everything! but she really doesn't. if she's ever having problems with something it will not even occur to her to talk about it to someone because she'll just be like ? why would i do that ? nobody needs to know this about me

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

oh... put away her things when she's done with them. she gets easily distracted so she will come into the house take off her jacket and leave it on the couch. the chair in her room perpetually had/has a pile of clothes on it

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

nour will NOT hesitate to go huh?????? what???????? if she doesn't understand something. not a shred of subtlety in her body

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

she LOVES olive green but it kinda washes her out :/ her mom's always nagging her about it but she doesn't really care

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

so they were at a family gathering and nour was starting to feel tired and not quite sociable enough to talk to anyone so she goes to sit down next to samia, who's talking to the older cousins, and leans against her. samia doesn't say anything but she puts her arm around her shoulders and nour closes her eyes against the soft glow of the lights and lets the conversation fade into a faint buzz

[francis-writes]

I also got into the fandom kinda late and every damn time i like a fic and click the blog it is either unactive since 2016 or something or has its requests closed, and a lot of People dont really read the books and dont know about a lot of characters and dont know MUCH about the regular characters since show cant really show us the way they think unlike in the books, i love to discuss for paragraphs but there is not much People to do that anymore, it is sad actually.

Oh and RAMSAY 💯 HAS A MOMMY KINK AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE MY MIND! I absolutely feel the same about it! Also yes i think he has a praise kink too, he craves validation and acceptance, he thrives on praise, so i think that he would grew fond of someone who shows love adoration and admiration towards him, and i kinda think he would enjoy some simple motherly affection, like brushing his hair, giving him a bath or singing him, show ramsay is daddy book ramsay need his mommy lol but i also think he would not enjoy a really calm person, after all mommy kink or not he is still ramsay, he'd like someone who would hunt with him or even if they dont kill be beside him, i dont think he'd like someone who constantly nag him about the things he do and he would get angry if his lover tries to help his victims or get mad at him for that, he would be feisty that his lover cared for them enough to get mad at him

And unpopular opinion but i think he would like to be claimed (by hickeys or an arm on his waist or a kiss in front of people) as much as he likes to claim, because lets be honest he yearned for approval and acceptance from his father his whole life, he likes the idea of someone thinking him as something to show off rather than the "spare last option" kinda the thing happened with domeric and ramsay with roose, ramsay was the spare last option of roose that he remembered and took near when his only heir died, even if domeric had no bad blood with him, and he was the one who search for and find ramsay despite his father's protests that there is no need for it, he wanted to have a brother and wanted to know him(i have a little skech for that scene that i want to draw as a decent art too,I can show it if you want it is not really good but not the worst too, i actually wanted to make an art blog but when i see some peoples art i am like man, i dont want to embarrass myself with my shitty sketches between people like this haha), only when ramsay killed domeric, he was seen and wanted (well, for only practical reasons but whatever) by his father.

Hi, about your later ask, yeah, i got this rant, i just fell asleep then and when i woke up, i forgot that I have something to reply.

Also dude (gender neutral), show that sketch. Make that art blog. I have one and i am definitely not very good, i am just learning, but there are still people who enjoy it. Idk if you saw it, but there was some post that when people see your works, they aren't "booo, that's ugly", but rather "holy shit, more content".

Sorry for making a motivational speech, but whenever i feel self-conscious, i search "make bad art" on tumblr and those posts usually make me feel better. Also I recently complained to my bf that i made progress in drawing but it seems that i will never be as good as my idols. And he simply replied that i am horny enough for it to motivate me. And i was like dude, i need to also have a talent. And he went just like "you get talent by being too horny for characters xd"

Also, I really wanna see the scene of their meeting. It's enough interesting dynamic as it is, but i like to sometimes imagine how it would look like if Domeric lived and lets say both of them ended up in Dreadfort. I remember some modern au headcanons where Domeric was into true crime (but only in theory lol) so they just spent hours with Ramsay eating fast food and watching crime documentaries (as a big fan of true crime myself, i appreciate this vision of theory brother x practice brother bonding).

Ramsay has daddy, mommy and every possible issue lol yeah, i am afraid i would fail him. At one hand, i like horror and gore, so i could get interested in his hobbies, but i think i would still try to help his victims, even if not escape, then making their life a bit easier. Tbh, before he got captured, I hated Theon. I get he had daddy issues, but he was such a little self-entitled bitch. And also it still makes me laugh how he was kind of idiot at the end of ACoK. Ramsay literally led an army in his flayed man armor and Theon was like "wow, how a servant gets such an armor". Damn, Ramsay even literally said "those are men of my father, and by the way I am Ramsay Bolton, last person who called me snow ate her own fingers" and Theon is just like "Wtf, I don't like your vibe dude. Watch your tone. Your still my servant". Considering how much he talked about fucking, he just had all his blood in his cock instead of his brain.

But Jeyne Pool is a sweet baby, and I probably would try to help her, getting myself in trouble. In general, I think if i got into affair with Ramsay, it would be a passionate one, but eventually one of us would kill the other. Not the best scenario, but i appreciate the dramaticism. And inherent romanticism of holding your lover as they die after you killed them. And you realize some relationships can only be happy in Hell together.

Sorry, I don't know where I was going with that lol.

Also, i totally agree that he likes to be claimed, even though he would be at first like "oh, no, don't do it, i have a reputation to uphold... unless" and it would be clear that he actually enjoys it.

[eventide-reverie]

I was randomly thinking in the middle of the night and i started thinking about me at my lowest point and now i’m crying?! I’m actually so proud of myself for clawing my way out, and i just feel so bad for 10 year old me.

I had no friends even though it was subtle, i was bullied. The other girls played this game were they would run away and say it was a game when they saw me approaching school.

My mom was working more hours than usual and i was usually at home alone with my stepfather. They were going through a rough patch in their marriage and he kept trying to use me as a therapist of sorts. He also drove me to school and often asked me questions like “does your mom love me?” When i just wanted to go to school, which says a lot considering i cried multiple times over the way other girls treated me in and out of class. Also the school didnt do shit(what a surprise)

It got to the point where i would stay cooped up in my room all day until my mom came home because he never said anything when she was around. I had a fear of my own house and my only safe place was my room where no one would ask me uncomfortable questions.

It got to the point to where my mom got me a dog to cure my loneliness and started working less to spend time with me. I think it helped. To be honest my memory goes blank around this part of my life and i cant remember much from the year other than key moments and how shitty i felt.

I remember an incident where i started losing it and started screaming my head off at a group of girls who usually tormented me lmao. Hella embarrassing now that i think about it but i really needed to get that steam off. Honestly the fact that i feel okay with sharing that incident tells me so much about my own growth.

Middleschool was a godsend(surprisingly, considering the reputation). I found friends, met my current best friend, and basically gained self worth. I was finally the first choice. Also i came out of the closet. The positive effect of being able to share my interests and actually being myself instead of some stitched on personality is crazy. Ngl had some moments here and there but thats unavoidable. Also i chopped off half of my hair(hip to shoulder). It felt oddly symbolic of me letting go, especially considering that i started letting go of the past after that and the fact that i was growing my hair out for the entirety of elementary.

Some of my elementary tormenters still try to rile me up whenever i walk past them in school and i..don’t feel much at all. All i feel is annoyance and even so, its kinda mild. I genuinely dont care anymore and thats a really nice thought when i think about it. Don’t get me wrong though, i do love flipping them off and tripping them in crowded hallways. Its just that i do it out of pettiness and boredom, not any kind of intense hatred. I do hate it when they try to pull that shit with my friends though.

I absolutely fuxking hate my stepfather lmao. He wonders why i hate him and tries to be a father figure to me as though he didnt destroy every chance he had. Too late now asshole. He still gives me money and stuff so that’s nice.

Anyways yeah now that i reflect my mental health has improved so much its actually insane. I genuinely thought about kicking the bucket when i was 10. Now i just enjoy being a menace to society. I definitely still have my moments but thats probably my fault for listening to sad music and making up really angsty scenarios for my ocs lol. Therapy? Who that? Im joking i totally shouldve gone to therapy but i was a scaredy cat.

I feel so relaxed rn its great even though im currently pulling an all nighter and i know imma be exhausted a couple hours later lol.

I feel so proud of myself and it feels kinda weird but also really soothing haha. Ok bye im gonna listen to more sad music about relationships even though ive never been in one hehehe

[anzynai]

Lovegirl what is going AWN with the marriage vow renewals. because I want to renew my vows too

Let’s all prowl under the eery yet familiar shine of the moonlight, frolicking around mischievously and gracefully in the tall grass as we morph to our natural alpha forms and then howl our vows on top of a hill before going on a romantic massacre through the nearest village 😍😍🥰

kissing you all on the lips and the kids on the forehead MUAH

omg my beloved divine enchantress?!?!?!! what a surprise to see u here…. and yeah, i mean. we have all been married for twenty years..

our passion has not yet died, however, even if the gaps between us widen. so yes, let us renew our vows, my love.

it’s a bit long so ill put in under the cut <3 think of it as for your eyes only (even tho anyone will be able to see but shhhh)

can we honestly e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person… I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless its spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your girlfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life.

BUT REAL TALK: i miss u sm and it world be kinda funny and a little embarrassing if it wasnt who i think it is, but no one has ur stupid humor but u LMAO anyways, if u ever decide to come back, ill welcome u with open arms and it not, well, thats fine too. I LOVE U SOOO MUCH, cant wait for the next time u come bless my inbox MWAH MWAH MWAHHHH