#yapped so much to myself i had a whole topic change

[emioliravioli]

umm rate the birthday invitation i guess???? my mom really wanted me to draw something, so i just.... did this lol

[aetherceuse]

I'm retiring from Tumblr indie RP.

A few months ago over on @/chounaifu, I made a post stating that I was taking a hiatus from my Pokémon blogs, and that I wasn't sure whether or not I'll be returning to the community.

After spending that time away, I've come to the conclusion that I am done with Tumblr indie RP as a whole.

I've been in the Tumblr indie scene on and off since 2012, and in the Pokémon rpc on and off since 2016. I'm at a point where I've recognized that this environment isn't healthy for me.

When I sit down in a group environment for any hobby, I want to be able to focus on-- well-- doing that hobby. I can't do that here. The majority of my focus goes into trying to keep track of who has who blocked, so that I don't unintentionally bring two muns who hate each other into the same rp plot. Next to that, I feel a lot of stress and anxiety when I'm on the dashboard, because I feel a lot of pressure to constantly send and answer asks memes, reblog promos, participate in dash commentary, and reply as quickly as I can before a topic or theme is no longer relevant. That just isn't compatible with the energy level that I have these days. I feel genuinely guilty when I can't engage with everyone. I feel like I have this unspoken responsibility to be as active as possible, to interact with every post, otherwise people are going to assume that I hate them for not sending a meme. And while I know that isn't the case with everybody, I've had that experience more times than I can count, and I'm just worn out.

It's difficult for me to be able to write stories and engage with people when so much of my limited energy is put into these things. As a result, it then leads me towards not wanting to write at all.

On top of this, I'm really gutted to know that various people are too anxious to write the same muse as me, because of dupe anxiety. I already worry about taking up too much space in life in general. I don't want to hold my breath about that. I don't want my presence to make someone so anxious that they block me. It's not a good feeling.

I don't know guys. I've been writing in a different environment for a while now, and it's better for my mental health. I'm not going to yap about it here, because truth be told, the few times I have on Bluesky and Discord were met with a lot of negativity. I don't take things like that personally, but I don't have the capacity for much more of it right now. Not with how stressful everything else is.

Idk.

Life is finite, and I want to spend it doing things that make me happy. This doesn't make me happy. Community discourse doesn't make me happy. Thinking about the amount of time I've spent in the past, sitting in chat rooms, listening to and engaging in conversations related to Tumblr rp drama just makes me sad. It makes me really sad. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to feel that anymore.

Maybe I'm just not a good match for spaces like this. CPTSD is a difficult condition to live with. When I'm triggered, it can make me stressed and physically ill. And right now, I don't feel like I can navigate the indie rp environment without exposing myself to behaviors and habits that trigger me. So, I'm bowing out.

I'm open to writing on Discord with people. I know that isn't the preferred format for everyone. But I need to do what's good for me, and put myself first.

There's still a lot of good memories associated to the indie rp community for me, though. I've made friends that I want to keep for life. I laughed, I joked around, we had some epic rp moments, I only wish I could have more of that, and that the community was more open to dash events, group plots, and healthy, honest communication. But, I understand that communication is difficult. Not everybody gets along. Things function the way they do here, and, it's not my place to change it.

If you want to add me on Discord to stay in touch, I'm at 000missingno. <- Don't forget the period. Otherwise, I'm on to the next adventure.

Sorry for slow Discord responses. Life is hard and I'm tired.

I have so much love for many of you guys. Please do things that make you happy.

- Rex

[teaandchoux]

On Lizzie and Tommy Shelby

☆ A Yapping Session ☆

Notes: I've recently finished the last episode of Peaky Blinders and I have so much on my mind regarding the relationship between Lizzie and Thomas. There simply isn't enough content online to accommodate for my internet surfing, so I'll post my thoughts on here instead, mainly about why I don't think the ship would ever work out. Spoilers and (probably) many grammatical errors after the cut!

It isn't that I don't want to like Lizzie x Tommy - in fact, I was on my knees the entire show praying that they would work out. Eventually, though, I lose hope seeing their relationship struggle to move beyond a painful, one-sided love for the majority of the entire show (except towards the end, but more on that later). It gets to a point where they need a miracle to work.

I should also mention Grace. To me, her significance in the show seems greater when she's dead than alive. I didn't even think that she would make an appearance again after season 1, and that her role is to solidify the distrust Thomas has in others (caused by their entanglements followed by her betrayal). I don't dislike her at all, but I don't think I ever got the chance to truly invest myself in her story before she is already killed. What the show stresses most is the impact her death leaves on Thomas. He is tortured by grief, self-blame, guilt, etc.. So while I don't care much for Grace x Tommy, it's not difficult to see that Thomas will never love anyone as much as he loves Grace.

As for Lizzie, she is who Thomas turns to after Grace's death. They haven't had much of a romantic history beforehand, but a sexual one turned professional when he offers her a job as his secretary (I will try to avoid recounting everything in the show lest this gets boring). During this time, Lizzie acts as his emotional crutch. This doesn't mean much, just that he uses her body to distract himself from the grieving of his late wife. Although he is the one to promise her complete exemption from her past job as a prostitute, he breaks that promise once at the Derby race, then again by basically treating her like one to cope with the loss of his wife. The only difference now is that she is exclusive to Thomas, almost willingly so because she harbours feelings for him.

Their sexual relationship continues throughout the seasons, and he turns to her once more when memories of Greta (pre-war Thomas' lover) resurfaces. So really, up to this point, there isn't a time when he has sex with Lizzie, with Lizzie in mind.

Lizzie's pregnancy prompts their marriage due to the stigmas surrounding children born of wedlock at the time, so it obviously isn't out of love. Nothing particular changes afterwards and Lizzie remains a long shot from ever comparing to Grace. I probably will go back to this topic a lot, but the difference between Thomas’ interactions with Grace contrary to other women is huge. Their sex scenes (often in slow-motion with backing music, etc.) is exceptionally intimate in contrast to the furniture-thumping, lustful fucking he has with prostitutes. Lizzie unfortunately falls into the latter category. Where even well into their marriage, she has to personally demand they do it on the bed.

That whole episode really stands out to me regarding their relationship. Thomas has no qualms in bedding other women while married to her, and Lizzie knows this. Yet she only goes as far as to forbid him from doing it in their own home and not within a day of holding their daughter’s hand (I think). It’s pitiful and only gets worse when Thomas drops the statement that she is “his property” and no one else may touch her. That sounds like something younger me would read on Wattpad and giggle and kick my feet (shame on me), but there is nothing commendable or romantic about this. While Lizzie has to negotiate against his cheating, he brazenly chalks her up as an asset in his inventory, like he would a car or a horse. Possessiveness also isn't love (‼️). There is a clear power imbalance in their dynamics; Lizzie is never in control, Thomas is. He almost never listens to anyone, let alone her. It is always him who makes the decisions and she could argue all she wants but inevitably, she would have to be the one to submit.

More specifically about Thomas' infidelity, I would understand if he has sex with other women for the sake of furthering his plans, such as with Jessie. After all, he isn't in love with Lizzie or their political marriage, so it wouldn't burden him to cheat on her if it means that he gets what he wants logically. However, he doesn't just do that. He hires prostitutes and speaks to Lizzie within the span of seconds and doesn't bat an eye. At some point even basic respect is lacking in their relationship, a relationship that Lizzie has been so loyal to, yet she is constantly met with nothing but humiliation. She holds the title of being his wife, but what supports it other than some rings and legal documents?

Heading towards the last few episodes, Thomas strives to change his ways due to false news about his impending death. He becomes more considerate of Lizzie, shows his care more often and more openly, but their relationship couldn't be salvaged with the given time constraints. At some point, Thomas says "I love you" for what is probably the first time. The way I see it, though, is that he is pushing himself to love her because he knows that is what she wants, what will make her happy. It couldn't, and doesn't work, especially given the short time they have. Even if what he says is true, Lizzie ends up leaving him.

I like this ending. Thomas is right when he says that she deserves better. My gorgeous, breath-taking, soul-stealing queen does deserve better than him and it's about time they let go of whatever relationship they have. While Thomas cares for Lizzie immensely, their relationship is more toxic than not and he ultimately couldn't give her what she needs and deserves after all these years. Sometimes things don't work out and that's okay. I hope that they do not return to each other in the movie (if it comes out), but find separate, better lives for themselves.

Notes: that is all of my late night rant, i may just be spewing nonsense atp so do tell me if i've gotten anything wrong or if you have different takes on these topics. thank yew (❁´◡`❁)

[genericpuff]

Big steps are scary, but not moving forward is scarier u.u

So I've been sitting on this post for a little while now, I had planned to post it a few days ago but then I crashed for a nap and woke up to the news of LO ending so wound up using that as another excuse LOL

The last few months have been, to put it lightly, brutal. It's not that anything has happened, it's more like nothing is happening - the usual slow season in tattooing has been especially long, with especially less clients coming through the door, so while it's given me loads of free time to prepare for my conventions and work on other projects, it also means I'm not making as much as I'd usually make. And what I usually make is typically what supports everything I do here.

This has basically been me for the last half a year:

(riding it out, just riiiding it out, whoof)

I'm very fortunate to have a job that satisfies my dream of making a living off art, controlling my own schedule, and making money doing it to boot - but the caveat to it all is that it's a luxury service that relies on the economy around me doing well, and the economy around me right now is very much NOT doing well. I'm also very fortunate that my savings are capable of supporting me, but that's all they are, savings - if I'm not making anything, they'll burn up eventually. I'm not sure how physically capable I would be of going back into retail / food service, and it's honestly just not something I want to do after coming this far as a tattoo artist.

I've also learned how valuable and necessary collaboration is during projects like these. Not just to supplement the quality of the work itself, but to supplement the working experience as a whole. Working with an assistant has been an eye-opening experience in that regard.

When I set out to make this account, it was for the purpose of LO shitposting, edits, essays, and nothing much more than that. I wanted to keep it separate for the sake of my mental health and for the sake of my separate audiences, because when I started here, it just... wasn't a popular opinion in the slightest to have opinions about LO and comics like it outside of the positive norm. I had a lot of fear for a long time built up in my head over it, but as time has gone on, I've fortunately had mostly positive experiences and even when they aren't positive... I've proven to myself that I'm capable of moving forward through it all with my head held high and that these scary experiences aren't as scary as they tend to seem in my head. That's really just the funny thing about fear over any sort of 'risky' endeavor.

That said, I've also branched out a lot more from this blog's original purpose. I've talked about the process of making webcomics, Webtoons as a platform, offered alternatives to creators seeking refuge from the more corporate platforms, given out writing and art advice, discussed topics concerning Greek myth, shared my own original works, and basically just naturally progressed into talking about and doing other things because LO will end eventually and I don't want to restrict myself to talking about the same comic forever LOL

This is a crossroads that I've been at for a few months now. And I know nothing will change unless I take a step forward. It might wind up not being in the right direction in the end, but it's forward, and that's all that really matters to me, because staying in the same place forever isn't good for anyone.

So, I guess I'm gonna stop yapping and just show y'all what I've been working on! I brought this up in a Twitch stream the other day and people in the chat were all very supportive and optimistic, so I'm hoping those of you who follow me here will be too ╭( ･ㅂ･)و (and if not, well, you can kick my ass in my inbox later LOL)

I've applied for my genericpuff account on Twitch to become an Affiliate channel and am just waiting on the approval process. Assuming everything goes through well enough, y'all will be able to subscribe to my channel or support it with bits. If I do get approved I'll be doing a rehaul of the channel design and offering some fun lil' goodies for the chat, and I'll be trying to stream at least twice a week.

So please go follow my Twitch account if you haven't yet! It's the best way to get early sneak peeks of Rekindled, as I'm usually working on new episodes, but we're usually also chatting about LO, webtoons related stuff, and other fun topics ٩(｡•ω•｡)و

But now for the biggest new addition - I've started a Patreon account specifically for my genericpuff stuff ! Normally I would redirect anyone who asked to my main Patreon, but it's not as active nowadays simply due to my original projects being on hiatus. And it's not exactly the best space to share any bonus goodies related to my genericpuff account.

That said, I want to make it clear that I will still be putting limitations on what I offer on this page. Anything related to early access sneak peeks will still be free for all. This will be a glorified tip jar first and foremost, most of what I will be offering as bonus goodies and incentives will be stuff like time lapses of pages, art tutorials, original character designs, critique requests, early access adoptables, deleted scenes, etc.

Basically it'll be stuff that I'm already making (or want to make) but will be exclusive to patrons that won't be tied exclusively to the reading experience of Rekindled. The comic will always be free to read, not just because of the legal stipulations of it being a fan project, but because I want it to be.

Alternatively, if you want to access the stuff I have planned for my original work that I will be posting as early access to my Patreon once it rolls out, you can support that Patreon here!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much for supporting what I do here, in all of its niche craziness. Building this little community over the past year has been life-changing, and I don't say that lightly. I've worked very hard to maintain what I'm doing here, and I'm going to continue doing so - it's a privilege to write and draw for you all week after week, and I appreciate any and all support you can give so I can keep managing what I do.

And if you can't, that's okay! The best way you can support my work is to read it, share it, and engage with it! Remember that reblogs will always be more beneficial than likes, and please don't ever be afraid to pop in to our streams or into our Discord to say hello! It would be a joy to have you ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Thank you all so much. This has been a big barrier to overcome on a mental level, my anxiety is through the ROOF right now, but I'm so grateful and glad I have such a wonderful circle of readers, community members, and friends who have offered their reassurance through this slow season and process of seeking support. Whether or not this is a step in the right direction, it's at least forward <3 And whatever comes of it, we'll see. But I'll be riding it out all the same ~

[bruteanarchy]

YOUR TURN MWAHHAHAHA TELL ME ABOUT NYA'S GENDER JOURNEY PLS!!! Don't leave out anything I love yapping!!!!

HAHAHAH OMG i never expected anybody to actually ask me this.. i love when people ask me stuff here tysm😅😅💙sorry if this is an insane rant, my memory betrays me sometimes so some things may be vague!!

just like how my girlfriend @coastyreef explained in their own post abt a similar topic (this but harumi) nya has grown and shaped into her gender identity basically just like i have as i’ve grown up. believe it or not, i used to HATE nya. everyone in the early ninjago fandom saw him as this “in the way of my gay relationships” character, and that her treatment of jay was horrible, (i could get INTO it abt that actually…. but you’ve probably heard that a few times before) basically a bunch of honestly misogynistic things in the early fandom that made me shy away from openly relating and liking her — so i sorta ran with liking jay a lot more until “recently” (aka a few years ago.. oldhead ninjago fan lol) i mean, my name sparky is literally because of jay so i have to give her some credit🙄

ninjago was and still is a way for me to process my own experiences and look at them from a different angle. ive always struggled with my gender identity/presentation growing up; i have PCOS and i was born with more masculine features then feminine, so in school i’d always be made fun of my body hair and features. i used to really want to be girly, it was a constant battle of myself between being a tomboy or a “girly girl” that continued up until middle school. i was considered dirty and rough, but also weak and annoying because i was a “girl”, so no amounts of masking and faking stereotypical femininity really changed much in my school days. (i remember my INSANE cutesy girly phase in middle school… man that was so embarrassing HAHAH)

i believe around the same time as coast, i was questioning myself too. i went by any pronouns, most notably they/them was at the front of it. i remember a year before this, i had a vulnerable moment with my chest and crying to coast about how i dont feel like a girl and i hate my boobs. which lead into coast saying “hey, we can try he/him pronouns on you and see if you like it!” i instantly retreated in fear because it was a big change that 12-13 year old sparky wasn’t entirely against, but wasnt ready to confront that part of himself. anyways, a year later i’m any pronouns queen, and im warming up to being more open to liking nya and relating to her, but im still considered and seen by others as jay reincarnate. twisted limerence, me and baes first fan season was a sort of catalyst for both of us, and waterjade as a whole was as well DEFINITELY. i mean, that ship since basically d1 was a reflection of our relationship and ourselves in the characters! it only made sense. it was just an insanely slow brewing process honestly

a lot of my own headcanons and musing for nya was internalized and kept under wraps in my own mind, i just coasted along with what coast thought up, or they would force (coax) my ideas out of me, or sometimes even if i was feeling vulnerable enough, (or manic with little to no restraint of my thoughts back then) i’d shyly share some of my headcanons for nya and hope for acceptance.. which i always got, which made me mosey up more confidence with each talk and thought. nyas presentation back then was still feminine af, the personalization laid in the pronouns and genderfluid flag (photos below of my old art.. how i used to draw her heh eww ok ive improved ok..) and the growing fat on her body, because nya being fat made me accept my own fatness/have a more body positive image!

nyas pronouns becoming from she/her to she/he/they was a secret catharsis for me, and as time went on and the he pronoun moved up and the they pronoun eventually left the picture, soon i followed suit. honestly i used to be a little followerish, when coasty began embracing the nonbinary label, i labeled myself as nonbinary too as a sort of starter, because i liked what the label meant and i felt like i related. but quickly, i realized i was mistaken. i still felt out of place, not properly understood of myself, and just plain confused. they/them pronouns never really cut it for me, in fact it annoyed me that people usually referred to me with she/they pronouns, but i buried it because i didnt really know what else i could do. transness and identity has always been complex for me, it was a chasm to move from cis to nonbinary alone. how could i be anything more then just a girl playing dressup with masculine clothes?

one day, at the end of pride month i remember.. i officially came out as genderfluid. it was just a quick post on my story on insta changing my pronouns to HE/it/they + a bunch of neos (some i still have to this day) and having genderfluid in my bio instead of nonbinary. i felt like i was starting to understand myself more, and even though it seemed short and simple to post abt it once, it felt like a huge step to me. early teenage sparky was finally getting somewhere!

this is where time gets testy for me, but i believe me and coastys gender journeys were aligned for the most part, i was just more internalized about it. nya was becoming less feminine and more masculine in appearance, he was gaining more fat and muscles, and spiky, shorter hair. i think the fact our perception of nya didnt align much with the fandoms perception (either a chapstick lesbian with flowy long hair and makeup or the 000.1% who hc’d him as transmasc, but not the way our nya was) made me resonate with her more. at this point in highschool im #1 nya relater, which actually caused me some problems believe it or not. when i became open about liking him to the point of him being my muse i was pushed back into keeping it to myself because 2020-2022 (kin)stagram was SOOO crazy 😅😅but hey im out of that cesspool now as you can see! i still remember the day i changed my name from solely sparky to nya/sparky. it felt so right to take a name thats also a part of my culture (nya is a name that has irish roots, it is also samoan! fun fact!) and that came from my favorite character.

i also struggled with my sexuality and channeled that through nya. for a long time, even when i was in elementary school i called myself bisexual. even though i never really actually liked men all that much, not enough to pursue a romantic relationship with them… or well.. anybody (i tried in the name of conformity and “femininity”) i didnt really like ANYBODY until coast. my emotions have always been restrained and not felt so normally, so i thought romance was like every other emotion: dull and heavily repressed with no way of expressing it. until, again i got with coast HAHAH. i figured out right away through coast that i was on the demi-aroace spectrum but i kept the bisexual label until i guess recently! nya definitely went through the same thing for the sake of convenience in his eyes.

oh but the gender labels and identity didnt stop at just highschool, recently, in my first year of graduating i confronted some deeply repressed parts of myself, and before it was put onto me it was put onto nya. i had a secret headcanon brewing.. something i kept from coast until an explosion of a trend on tiktok… i … headcanoned nya.. as a BUTCH!!!!!!!!!! i felt like the label butch was fitting for him, i was fascinated with the talk and the labels and the history of queerness and lesbianism, but i felt like i didnt belong there at all. i felt so guilty for loving the label butch so much, i just kept it to myself and nya.. my forever muse. coasty, just like they always had, supported me and coaxed that part of myself out of me into the open. they accepted me when i said “hey… what if…. i said nyas a butch…” they even accepted me when i said in a hypomanic episode “kratos from god of war is a butch and has pcos, thats why he has a beard!!” (ty bae) this just goes to show that acceptance goes a long way, and having a character you relate to so deeply does too!!

nyas canonical journey of becoming a ninja and finding her identity feels so much like my own. that scared me when i was younger, but now i feel seen and like hes my number one character. he’s basically exactly like me, the only difference is muscles and race bc im a white boy and i need to hit the gym😅 and im happy to finally be able to publicly say that! for a long time i felt like my identity wasnt mine to own, that everyone else dictated who i was.. but now i can confidently say my identity belongs to me. the power of choosing for myself means a lot to me. now i can say im nya and he is a punk riot grrrl butch who has PCOS and……… a secret third option.. (im still kinda shy to talk about headcanons abt mental health and more personal parts of myself i was born with HAHAH.. maybe i will soon though if asked) nya has definitely helped jay with her own gender journey too, i actually have a whole headcanon storyline for that lol!!!!! but yeah anyways this has been long enough… ty for asking! i loveee asks i love ranting secretly😅😅💙💙

[pompadourpink]

hi mom so i was reading your malks entrees and im losing my mind at the stories from your office job back in the day, how did you go from having anxiety to not caring at all and being so carefree?? i can barley make eye contact w strangers

Hello dear,

I realised I had been paralysed for too long and couldn't afford to do it anymore if I didn't want to waste my life, because 40-year-old me will not care about my excuses.

I tried doing something new, was anxious before, uneasy during, and exhausted after, and realised nothing bad had happened. The only problem was my head shrieking the whole time. Not even words, just horror. I did it again, and again, and again, and the voice started to be a bit quieter, a bit less scared, a bit more trusting, and eventually, it realised we were completely fine.

Namely: I presented research in front of big classes at uni, was in charge of classes when I was a substitute (without training nor even an interview), was a speaker at a YouTube event in the US in front of a huge English-speaking crowd, travelled by myself all over Europe, said no to a mugger and he left, dared to say I like you first, stopped wearing makeup, bought a car alone, etc.

I still dislike running into my neighbours and receiving official mail, and sometimes google unknown numbers, but I am at peace. I am happy and free, and finally feel like a part of the world instead of an intruder. No one gets to tell me off. I do what I do and you do what you can do about it is a great motto.

A few challenges for you to change before it's too late:

Wear something fun and smile to/wave at starers (instead of looking down or assuming they don't mean well)

Listen to the Bee Gees (or anything disco) and dance while you're doing chores instead of grumbling

Unless someone is in danger, refuse to get angry

Pay someone a compliment and switch topics immediately

Whistle a song at the supermarket

Donate blankets or treats to your local shelter

Call someone you love to yap

Much love! x

[megumi-fm]

26th to 30th Apr; doa🚲 complete!!

hi. gah. okay. here's my wrap up for the month

📝 prepped for and completed the last set of internal tests for this degree [2/2] (which I got through after much cribbing and whining and quite literally projecting study topics onto my blorbos 👍 ) 📝 started GRE prep!

🎓 got some gradecard related paperwork done 🎓 spoke to my prof regarding my internship deliverables for uni—report format, certificate requirements, etc etc

📥 I voted! it was the first central elections since I turned to an adult and the whole experience was quite interesting

💻 completed a bunch of tasks for my internship

💻 made like a super extensive flowchart about all the work done at my internship which took me like a total of 20+ hours T-T 💻 finished preparing my Uni Internship presentation! 💻 submitted the presentation to the assistant guide, waiting on her response to make changes atm

🍶 7+ glasses of daily water intake 🎵 svt's new single is out and I've been going insane about it and thus this challenge comes to an end... I had started this off as an 18day daily habit tracker but then it kind of grew out into a challenge for the month. Special thanks to Yumi the loml <3 (@thelastneuron) for starting the Days of April challenge (Yumi idk when you'll see this but i miss you and I hope you've been kicking ass during your hiatus). also massive thanks to Zip (@zipstidbits) for leaving the kindest comments/tags on my post during the past week and to Tanishka (@booksbluegurl) who is literally the sweetest and has been sending in asks and keeping me company during this challenge <3

there's a lot more i wanna yap about in regards to how the month went but I'll leave that under the tags xD goodnight besties <3

month end brainrot

april started off with dips and more dips but by the end of the month it feels like I've caught up. productivity is a wave so as long as I keep riding at it i'll be okay.

also. progress is cumulative. even the seemingly inconsequential completion of daily tasks has lead to an overall improvement through the week. things add up

I spent a lot of time this month (and moreso this past week) feeling dejected that I've been leaving my tracker posts (and my digital planner entries) incomplete... but like. the whole point of trackers and planners (and this studyblr) is to get work done. work is the priority and the tracking is a means to an end. so if im getting work done that is already a win. yeah... i've had to keep reminding myself that

there is no one-tool-fix for tracking and journalling. what works for planning out one task will not work for the other. I need to strop trying to fit all my plans into one formulaic strategy box

on that note. it's time to return to handwritten journaling. digital journalling (notion + YPT + discord + tumblr) was fun while it lasted <3 but my brain needs novelty again so it's time i switch back. I think I finally have an idea for a system that could be sustainable for me... although I say that every time I switch to a new form of tracking. but hey. as long as it helps me get work done for whatever duration of time, it's good enough

using kpop and kdrama references to make notes and study really paid off. ngl I only did it cause I was super desperate but incorporating stuff I couldn't understand with a topic I really like paid off. It also gave me the motivation and momentum to study for much longer than I otherwise would have

last but not least. my water intake has been really good this month! I've also been eating healthy and I've been cooking more my phone usage has also been reduced by a lot. sure none of them have had a perfect streak but i started at zero and it feels like I've levelled up quite a bit. the exercise component has been a bit difficult to maintain given my workload :/ i need to figure out what to do about that...

yep. that's it for now. this month really tired me out, I think im gonna lay off daily challenges for a while. For now I guess I'll stick to my (bi?tri?)weekly tracker posts xD

[justhereformilgram]

Why yes I do find myself becoming enthralled with multimedia stories primarily told through songs and sometimes manga and other ways with characters labeled numbers one to ten who are all so complicated and deep <3

Under the cut is spoilers/speculation for the Kagerou Project and trial one and trial two of the MILGRAM project! If you’re a fan of one of these I recommend checking the other two out! Also discussion of suicide topics and general dark content considering these tragic characters

Ok those up above are just paired by number (prison number and order of joining the mekkakushi dan) but here is how I’d pair them based on power/themes + explanations, maybe even if there was a crossover or au sort of thing. The ones with the blue squares are what I think definitely fit while the others I had to go back and forth on

prepare for a ton of yapping. Lol. Lmao.

Kido and Haruka: Abandonment and attention issues + the power to conceal yourself so you don’t get noticed is really interesting to me… Kido is more confident and blunt than Haruka, and yet, I do think they match up fairly well.

Seto and Mahiru: I was debating on giving Seto’s power to Yuno or even Es since it’s like. I don’t know people pleasing/the whole motif of trying to see inside of people’s minds but Mahiru having mind reading powers compels me, since she’s so empathetic. It would also make her indirect murder so much more messy since she would have likely tried to show her love more if she could viscerally sense her boyfriend struggling, but ough.

Kano and Kazui: now this. This fits like a glove. They’re all about lies and pain baybeee… Yobanashi Decieve is such a perfect Kazui song it’s not even funny. (Using the Will Stetson Eng Lyrics but like. Come on)

“Act normal and all of that, but my heart’s still rushing fast so easily”

“I bit the fruit (apple motif!!) and the snake burrowed inside of me”

“But that’s only right, cause I’m a monster in kind”

“Listen closely to this coward’s beating heart, a selfish face that’s seeped in pain, the only me that remains”

“Though I say I’m really lonely, nothing’s ever gonna change”

Mary and Amane : Okay this is a more of a hear me out but hear me out. Both sheltered from the outside/real world, albeit for different reasons, Amane by her religious organization, Mary by her mom since she has Medusa blood. Petrification as a power would be helpful for amane in that murder and/or not getting hurt again, and/or punishing sinners. Also I think Amane would judge Mary since she’s all about stopping the natural cycle of death with all those timeloops

Muu and Momo: Simply they are both popular and that power of drawing eyes is so perfect for that. Less good for Muu once everyone turns on her but it still works.

Ene and Fuuta: This is so just because digital media like video games and twitter are so important to Fuuta like yes go into the computer buddy and cyberbully on another level. They also have similar outward prickliness <3

Shintaro and ES: this is really just about main characters and retaining eyes probably going to Es…? Wasn’t too sure of this one myself tbh

Hibiya and Mikoto (and John): Ok Focusing eyes I couldn’t really think of anyone since it’s very niche but ehh..? Graphic artist??? I do think a kagerou daze situation with Mikoto and John of John trying to save Mikoto in a death loop would fit them before the twist that oh no, sacrificing yourself just continues a different cycle…

Konoha and Kotoko: they can PUNCH. mostly did this one because kotoko would love to have the power to punch people to death and also. Well. Most inter-party kills. In konoha’s case due to possession but Kotoko would prob use hers for cold hard Justice

Hiyori and Shidou: ok this was Clearing Eyes since timeline shenanigans makes it so that Hiyori isn’t part of the group most loops. Maybe I should’ve put Kenjirou instead… well… welp. Shidou would go that far for his wife, that’s all I’ll say, and also the snake of knowledge fits him

Ayano and Yuno: Wasn’t sure about this one, since tbh Novel ES (the girl one) probably fits Ayano better, but Yuno having such a emotional power, able to express her feelings to another, while having everything she has going on could be interesting. Maybe Yuno matches Hiyori better I don’t know LOL Ayano is my favorite of the kagepro bunch though

[memoirsofamanager]

Bonjour Monsieur André!

How are you doing this fine day? I was wondering how you and Monsieur Firmin met, and how you came to own the Opera Populaire?

- your bespectacled friend

Good evening, my friend! I have just finished off a rather lovely cup of tea and am now doing quite well. I hope you're having a nice day as well!

As my dear Firmin would no doubt confirm, I often come into interesting situations purely by chance – my meeting him and our subsequent acquisition of the Opera Populaire are no different!

[Note: Since you've just hit some of his favorite topics, Monsieur André is about to go on quite the escapade of yap. To spare his followers' dashboards, it will be under a cut. Godspeed.]

You see, me and Firmin, we've known each other for a long while. He's been my greatest companion for years! I had met him at a local theater – I ran right into him in the hallway, nearly got us both knocked right to the floor. See, we had both been dragged along by our folks to go see a performance that night.

Now, I don't know what it was about our ensuing interaction, but I decided straightaway that I wanted to get to know this fellow who had been so delightfully rude to me. Oh, he resisted my attempts at first, but I tend to be quite charismatic. We soon became acquaintances, then friends, and, well–

Hmmm.

...Maybe I oughtn't get ahead of myself, now. I'm far too skittish to air out my personal life.

As for our acquisition of the Opera Populaire – pure chance once again. I'd been looking through the papers when I saw the advert Lefèvre put out.

I said to Richard, "Look at this! We ought to look into it, it would be a wonderful change!"

He says to me, "André, don't be silly. Neither of us have any experience with that sort of thing."

I told him, "It'll be fun! Trust me!"

So, with me and my silver tongue, I convinced him to come along with me to meet Monsieur Lefèvre, we settled on a deal, and the rest is history.

Of course, neither of us had banked on getting a ghost with the whole thing; Lefèvre had omitted that oh-so minor detail. Still, phantoms aside, I really do enjoy running the place alongside Firmin.

Although, I doubt I'd find as much joy in it without him at my side...

Ah, but I digress! I hope I've answered your questions suitably!

[bubblesxo]

Pope Francis didn’t just talk about climate change a few times—he wrote whole encyclicals on it, the first one 20 years ago!! That one is Laudato Si, and then he wrote a follow-up called Laudato Deum in 2023.

20 years ago and he was dropping bars like “This sister [Mother Earth] now cries out to us because of the harm we have inflicted on her by our irresponsible use and abuse of the goods with which God has endowed her. We have come to see ourselves as her lords and masters, entitled to plunder her at will. The violence present in our hearts, wounded by sin, is also reflected in the symptoms of sickness evident in the soil, in the water, in the air and in all forms of life. This is why the earth herself, burdened and laid waste, is among the most abandoned and maltreated of our poor; she “groans in travail” (Rom 8:22). We have forgotten that we ourselves are dust of the earth (cf. Gen 2:7); our very bodies are made up of her elements, we breathe her air and we receive life and refreshment from her waters.” (Link)

(I do a little bit of yapping on Pope Francis and Catholic Church politics under the cut)

Pope Francis obviously wasn’t perfect, and while that doesn’t absolve him from responsibility, he has been inclusive to openly gay priests (so long as they remain celibate alongside their straight counterparts) and said “If they [gay priests] accept the Lord and have goodwill, who am I to judge them? They shouldn't be marginalized. The tendency [same-sex attraction] is not the problem... they're our brothers.” (Link - which shows a range of quotes on differing LGBT topics.) This is a great direction to go in, and he’s been saying stuff like this since 2013. There’s a reason people call him disgusting names like “antipope” and worse, and why sedevacantists were able to pick up so many homophobes in this time. (Sedevacantists believe that there was no legitimate pope during Pope Francis’s papacy and even beforehand; they’re associated with Vatican II denial and right wing rhetoric; “sede vacante” = seat vacant, which it actually is, but only because Pope Francis passed away. Link.)

As a Catholic myself, Pope Francis’s actions and words have been an incredible step in the right direction. Last year he held the Synod on Synodality (link), which has been described as the most important event in the Catholic Church since Vatican II (link). Women and other laity were able to vote in a synod for the first time ever, and though we can’t tell for sure what the concrete changes are going to be, if any, this is what conservative Cardinal Gerhard Ludwig Müller had to say about it—he said that "some in the assembly are 'abusing the Holy Spirit' in order to introduce 'new doctrines' such as an acceptance of homosexuality, women priests, and a change in Church governance." (Link)

Catholics are, by far, not one-size-fits-all. Within the Church, we have different theologies and philosophies and viewpoints stretching back centuries or more. For example, the Jesuits—of which Pope Francis was one—are well-known for their focus on social justice since their 32nd General Council under Father Arrupe in the 1970s (link), which has roots in their Jesuit heritage going back to their work with confraternities, hospitals, missionaries, and more in the 1500s on. Some people might remember Fr. Daniel Berrigan, SJ, who, among others, burned draft records and broke into and vandalized nuclear weapon manufacturing during the Vietnam War and other events going on in the mid-to-late 1900s. The Jesuits also have a history in Latin America, where many were killed after CIA-backed coups put in right-wing military dictatorships in the ‘80s. The Jesuit Refugee Service is still giving humanitarian aid to people along these routes and even in Nicaragua, where all Jesuits have been expelled and Catholics are very much censored.

Anyway, I digress. Sorry for going on a bit of a side tangent. My main point was that Catholics can be conservative, but also have been moving in a good direction for quite some time. Those who tend to appreciate going forward also tend to appreciate Pope Francis. Those who tend to prefer what many will picture when they think of Catholicism (as strict only-Latin Mass judgy heretic-haters) will tend to be less favorable toward him, or even go so far as to say some truly despicable things. My point is, I agree with the previous points that—while no one is under any obligation to stop disagreeing with someone or to like someone—‘perfect’ tends to kill ‘better.’

Pope Francis cannot be said to be conservative within the bounds of the Catholic Church—outside of it, that’s up to others, but inside, his announcements and quotes have been very straightforward in advocating for social justice, an end to war (notably, recently, and repeatedly he called for peace in Gaza—link), real action against climate change, an end to the mass-deportations in the USA (and in 2016 said that anyone who builds a wall to keep out migrants is “not Christian”—link), and a love for all of our neighbors.

I can’t police what anyone thinks about him, and while he has said things before that people can be upset about, he has also said many things that people would appreciate and agree with. I personally would say that he is progressive—and moreso than many secular progressives I’ve seen in the modern day. Obviously he couldn’t do everything that he wanted to, but he did a lot, and I appreciate him for being a good role model for the youth of the Catholic Church today.

fondly remembering when pope francis said he hopes hell is empty. top pope francis moments. right up there with him saying some seminaries are too faggy

[seeyouonsaturn]

GET ASK'D IDIOT 💖 (ily I am actively restraining myself from saying do this entire ask game actually but here's a few I selected. however if you want to just do the whole game you can consider this a starter pack and a free yap pass idk)

2. What was your first experience with transformers?

7. Who is your favorite Decepticon?

8. If you were a transformer, what would your alt mode be? Why?

10. Favorite transformers show/game/comic?

11. Out of all the movies (including g1 and Predacons Rising), which is your favorite? Why?

17. Favorite version of Starscream?

19. Favorite transformers pairing?

23. Least favorite transformers universe?

24. Would you rather meet Peter Cullen or Frank Welker?

28. Who has better boobs: Soundwave or Shockwave?

29. Crossover you want to see?

ask game

FUCK YEAH! Have you met me you KNOW I want to yap. I want to yap so bad it apparently warrants anon hate 😂😂💖

Answers under the cut because Lomg

2. What was your first experience with transformers?

I mentioned it before here, but I had this friend who had just moved into the area and was new to our school, and she actually lived near me so I ended up going to her house a LOT. Almost every day. And I don't remember how exactly we got to the topic, but one of her favorite movies was the first Bayverse one (I think maybe she'd just discovered it too? We were 12 so that checks out, her stepdad was always introducing her to cool stuff), and she showed it to me and I loved it. So much in fact that the next weekend her parents rented out both movies for us (all that existed back then) and we had a movie night sleepover.

Except uhh I was tired af for some reason and passed out halfway through the second movie, despite being VERY into it. I never fall asleep during movies. Idk what was up with me I physically couldn't stay awake. I remember being so upset that my friend didn't wake me back up because the movies had only been rented so I couldn't finish it. I think my father rented it out for me again a while later.

I genuinely thought Transformers was just those two movies back then. Nobody told me it was a whole huge franchise. Which honestly is probably for the best because I would NOT have been normal about it, and it would have become my entire personality for probably years. I wonder who I'd be now. Because holy fuck.

7. Who is your favorite Decepticon?

You want me to CHOOSE?

Okay, well, Megatron is up there, except my favorite versions of him are specifically pre-cog D-16 and IDW Autobot Megatron, so... does that even count? I mean I like the fucker when he's evil too, but those two are the specific iterations of the guy I have feelings for.

Obviously there is also Starscream at the very top of the list because who doesn't have Starscream on their list of favorites. Look at him what's not to love. Fucked up critter I need to shake him like a rabid dog (affectionate).

Other than that. Uh. Fuck if I know, there's a whole lot of them I LIKE but none that really pop out as favorite, you know? I think if I were to just list all the cons I like I'd be listing them all. Maybe Ravage because Cat.

Blitzwing has a special rank because he's not my type personally but he's married to my bestie (hiii) so he gets certain blorbo-in-law privileges <3

8. If you were a transformer, what would your alt mode be? Why?

I'd be a cat. Listen, look at me. There's no way I'd have a vehicle alt. I already am a cat on all levels except physical, if I woke up as a Transformer, I would change into a kitty. Or I'd just go full Ravage and not even have a root mode. Maybe I too can live in someone's boobs. I'd want to keep my opposable thumbs though, please.

10. Favorite transformers show/game/comic?

You KNOW it's Animated. Nothing could ever take its place. As much as I love the angst and general vibe of TfP (and Rescue Bots also really is That Good), TfA just has the nostalgia effect none of the others could ever hope to come close to. Not to mention, Prowl's in it. What more do you want from me.

Haven't played any games (do I look like I have money 😔), and I can't read comics well because my attention span's been lost in the woods for years. But I KNOW I'm gonna be so deeply and utterly obsessed with MTMTE once I finally get my brain to cooperate with me on that. It is MADE for me.

11. Out of all the movies (including g1 and Predacons Rising), which is your favorite? Why?

Transformers One!! It's so goodddd. I need to rewatch it again but I actually love it so much that I need to be in the right headspace for it lmao. The art style is beautiful and you know D-16 is my sweet beautiful boy, I love to see him <3

The G1 movie is def up there too, it was a whole ride and I need to rewatch it several times also. I have beef with Predacons Rising; the movie itself was good but the ending was downright evil. I did not want that second nickel.

17. Favorite version of Starscream?

TfP Starscream just scratches the brain in such a specific way. He's got that cunty pathetic wet cat rizz, he's so special to me. How is he so genuinely competent and yet such a loser, I need to study him under a microscope.

I mean, that's really true for just about any Starscream, but TfP Screamer just has something about him that's like catnip to me. I want to hold him up like a sad bedraggled animal and show him to all my friends. I'd carry him around in my purse. I could treat him better.

19. Favorite transformers pairing?

I'm a MegOp hoe at heart and you know it. Look at them. The Divorce Ever. I need them to sloppy make out on the battlefield.

I'm not much of a canonxcanon shipper in general, as you can easily tell I enjoy throwing OCs at people far more, but there's a small handful of exceptions that are very dear to me. Jazz x Prowl for one; in anything that isn't TfA they are obviously married (if one belives the people I follow, which I do). KOBD and Cygate are definitely up there too, and also others that I am currently forgetting because I KNOW I had more than 4 ships but I think they got the amnesia ray because my brain is so empty.

13 year old me was FERAL for Optimus x Blackarachnia btw. I still like them but I'm more normal about it now lmfao.

23. Least favorite transformers universe?

Hmmm this one's hard because I don't think there's any I particularly dislike. Yeah no I've sat down and thought about it and I really can't think of any. I'm not familiar with all that many verses yet and so far I've liked them all.

At most I'd say Bayverse, but the thing is that I don't really dislike the idea of it, just the way it was handled. Like, it kinda goes hard as a concept? If it wasn't for all the blatant sexism and racism and Optimus committing all of the war crimes, it would honestly be pretty fun. Those movies would be so good if they were good.

24. Would you rather meet Peter Cullen or Frank Welker?

Oh god this is an impossible question. The chances of me ever actually meeting either of them are zero, but still. I mean I think if Optimus ever spoke to me directly I would simply pass out on the spot (I won't pretend his voice doesn't have me so weak), but holy fuck Frank is an icon. Let me hang out with them both please I think we should be besties.

28. Who has better boobs: Soundwave or Shockwave?

Shockwave. It's not even a contest. Sorry Soundwave, but just look at those massive badonkadonks. He's like 80% boob.

Though the one thing Soundwave's tits have that Shockwave can't live up to is that there's a bunch of little friends stored in there! Love is stored in the boobs (literally).

29. Crossover you want to see?

Give me Transformers x DC i want to see the guys from my two favorite fandoms interact... but I don't want it to be fanfic, I need it to be canon like the mlp comic

[beaversatemygrandma]

yapping again. sooner than expected.

So, it's 10 days until we figure out if my guy is actually getting what he deserves and not being treated like a criminal that needs to be put away instead of treated for a mental health issue like it should be. I didn't hear from him the last two days and i was getting concerned, so i shot a message towards him and he actually called tonight. He was saying that he was trying to dial it back a bit to keep me from having to put more money towards the phone calls (let's be honest here, i put in $20 on like the 4th. we've used $10. It's fine.) and that he's just been in his head and feeling more depressed. I could hear it in his voice, that was definitely it. I just pointed out to focus on the positive that he might be out in ten days and actually get back to doing what he wants to be doing, which is literally just to be out and working and trying to get back to school. He literally just wants progress and to actually feel like he's doing something. And i get it, I've actually stopped telling him the mundane bullshit stories of my day at work bc it always gets him a bit down and jealous. Still a bit bitter about losing that job. (It's poor management. It's happening again soon. There's interviews going on...) Instead he gets the chaotic and notable stories (We're getting sued again apparently, somebody doesn't read what they sign and doesn't listen to instructions and seems to think that them getting hurt for user error is our problem.) That works out a lot better.

Either way, he started asking about when the weddings i was invited to were again. One of them is one he Really wants to go with me for. And with the recent trial and hopefully the better decision, he would actually be able to do that. His idea is so fast paced and chaotic in nature, yet so positive and also seems stupidly fun. Basically leaving for GA that friday night before the wedding, staying the night somewhere nearby, going to the wedding, and driving all night back to FL so i can make it to the second wedding. (And he wants to do it all in the corvette that's been sitting for a hot minute because he couldn't afford to put it back on the insurance. Which honestly, might as well, my car can't go highway speeds for a long period of time without shimmying...) It's a solid plan. But let's be honest here, it's kind of insane. Though, it would be Very Funny to pull up to my obnoxious rich cousin's wedding in a corvette with This Guy.

This conversation brought up his mood so much that it suddenly sounded like he had his old energy back and was just going on about how this plan could indeed work with two back to back weddings. In different states, the immediate day after, with different people. It's insane, but it doesn't even sound impossible which is the crazy part. I think the craziest part is that I'm somewhat considering it.

Then the conversation slows down a bit. That topic has moved on and I said I'd think about it, mostly just laughing at the concept of his whole ass plan there. So, simple goodbyes were just struggling. It was just kind of a plan when the next call will be and the talk to you then and whatever. A couple seconds of silence and suddenly he says "love you" and hangs up. So I'm just there listening to the end call tone almost having responded with the same and just standing there on the porch with nothing more other than "?????" And yet, it wasn't a stuck in my head type of change of mood there. It was the same warm feeling after having one of those nights where we'd just sit out by the fire and talk for a couple hours.

So yeah. I was right. The thing with us definitely took that jump. For the record, most definitely him saying it first. That was the first direct one. But holy shit what. That wasn't a use of it as something similar to a letter close. That was a Directly Said one. i actually kinda liked it tbh.

A few days later edit just for myself. The next day was probably the longest call we've had since he got in there. Even if it was rambling on about books and such and me literally just confirming a suspicion of what kind of person he was before he headed down a certain path. Huge goddamn nerd. Wasn't allowed any tv, any video games, spent the 90s and early 2000s under a rock in a book. One of those people who most definitely hit 18 and went wild. Though it is nice to confirm that there is actually a level of intelligence there. That's a fellow burnt out honors kid. No wonder we click well. He feels like the possible future I could've had if that era when i was 19 didn't get abruptly cut off by a roommate breakup and the inability to afford the rent on my own. It was the first call that definitely took over a dollar and the first time that i had the machine yell at me that the call would be terminated in two minutes. Either way, he was chatty again. The old energy is definitely sticking around a bit better. And it's the first time in about two months that I've heard him do that "decent" thing that annoyed the fuck out of my coworker. It's a good sign. Very much returning back to normal there. Though hearing him say it caught me so off guard. I think I forgot that this was the same person that I worked with who annoyed the fuck out of one of the office girls.

Either way, got a two minute warning and it basically turned into a "oh, holy shit, it's been almost a half hour, we should stop." even though i know we are fully capable of just sitting there for hours just talking. Just have to do that without collect calls and preferably when he's not stuck just outside of town in a literal jail. But, no L word that time.

Then tonight, I just assumed I wasn't getting a call when i didn't hear from him past 8:30. I told him I wasn't doing anything today and calling earlier in the day and not at like 7 would be easily possible. Then suddenly at like 9:30, there he is. It was stupidly fast. He starts apologizing for not making contact, but the place had been on lockdown all afternoon because there's been a tornado watch since like 11am. So just that explanation, mentioning that there was like 20 minutes until the end of the night when everybody goes back into normal lockdown, and that everybody was waiting for the phone. Says he'll call again tomorrow, and says the L word again. This time, he didn't immediately hang up and sounded more confident with it, but I couldn't do anything more than this awkward chuckle. Body language wise, he would've been able to tell that I was just hesitant about hearing and whatever else. I have a whole ass situation. He knows what he's gotten into here. But over the phone idk how that was taken. Hopefully not badly.

I basically know that he's all in on this. Definitely is having the affection part grow a bit stronger without actual contact. And I'll admit, after having everything actually process, I've at least settled back into a fully positive light on him again. But I still need the actual contact. Sure, all of that makes me feel happy after getting off the phone with him. I feel comfortable at the sound of his voice at this point. I'm definitely still in too deep, but there's also the massive thing of *Literally In Jail* that's right there. I know he's somebody who wants nothing but actual growth and getting into a normal life for once after failing at his first shot of that. And with actual help being a possibility and not just being tossed out there and treated like a criminal, it might just work this time around. I think I need to see it happen in order to even commit to the idea of this. I need proof.

Like obviously there are feelings there if I'm doing this. I'm talking to him still. I'm trying to support him the best I can even if it's literally costing me money. Not much, but it costs. There's something, but I'm just watching and waiting for things to settle i guess. I know he's somebody I can be around for a while. He treats me well and very much cares. He has his uses and has said that he wants to be there for me to give me help with what I need and keep me happy and content.

I've only known him since like august. We've only had this going on since december. It hasn't even been a year of knowing this guy and this still feels so much better than the relationship I've had going for a year and a half now with somebody I've known for ten years. I need to remember that it hasn't been very long, but that it's also at the point where those people who make relationship time passing rules are saying that this is at commitment level. And sure as fuck it's getting there. This was supposed to be friends with benefits damn it.

[edensear]

What I’m about

Helloo my name is Eden. Eden isn’t my real name but my alter ego, the version of me who has it all and is confident as fuck. Eden changes everyday for me now that I’m exploring these new interests… but basically she’s my highest self.

Before we get into what I’ll be posting on here please have an open mind and don’t comment anything negative, just scroll.

Basically on here I will be posting about my spiritual journey, self improvement advice and how I am trying to reach higher levels of consciousness.

My goals:

- Build my trust in manifestation

I learned about manifestation a couple years ago but haven’t built a solid foundation around it. Recently I’ve created this challenge for myself, where I’ve written several things that I don’t really care about that I want to manifest to remove doubt. I will definitely post about my results with this to maybe strengthen your belief as well. I should have manifested all the things on the list by the end of January, and I will have photos for proof that it was entirely manifestation.

Fav manifesting youtubers:

Taylor Tookes

Hyler

- Become a consistent lucid dreamer

I started locking in on this literally last week. Right now I’m doing MILD every night and dream journaling in the morning. I try to do WBTB but I don’t use an alarm so I’m not always successful. I’ve already made a lot of progress, I am remembering more of my dreams and last night I realized for the first time that I was dreaming but wasn’t very conscious about it, so I’m not counting it as a lucid dream unless I’m controlling it.

- Consistent Meditation

So basically I want to meditate daily to enhance my attention skills, lowering my anxiety and also strengthening my intuition. Mediation makes your mind a whole lot easier to control, so if I get the benefits of meditation I will be able to lucid dream easier and astral project, my next goal.

- Astral projection

Once I master lucid dreaming this is my next target. I still need to do more research to see if this really is something I want to do, but out of body experiences seem pretty cool. Is it real? Probably, and even if it’s not I will still have fun lucid dreaming to this concept. So it’s a win win situation. The same thing applies to shifting realities. Some say it’s real, while others say it’s lucid dreaming. It doesn’t matter to me because either way I will experience what I want to experience.

- Self improvement

This is definitely one of the most important things in my life that I’ve been working on for a LONG TIME and it will always be my goal to improve my mentality. I love the wizard liz she is my savior. I will drop some lore and advice on this shit.

Things I might talk about on here:

- Past manifestations and advice

- Subliminals

(I HAVE MY OWN SUBLIMINAL CHANNEL! I won’t expose it yet tho!)

- Interesting dreams i’ve had

- Things related to spirituality and consciousness

- Opinions and advice on detaching from external validation, and anything related to introspection & shadow work

- How subjective life is in general

- Esoteric topics like voluntary hallucinations and tulpas (crazy shit, let’s hope I don’t go schizo talking abt this)

Sooo I might not even post on here this was like last minute desicion.. but yea I was thinking of posting youtube videos of like yap sessions but I don’t want to expose myself too much yk, especially if I start talking about something controversial.

But you guys should definitely follow me if you know who Tiger123 is, I was watching his Yaya video which made me come on tumblr in the first place to like document shit. I might not even commit to this but hopefully I do and I commit to the goals I have for next year aswell.

If you read this far, I love you.

And if no one read this… IDGAF less pressure and more freedom!

Things I wanted to mention but dk where to put:

I want to major in psychology when I get older

My user is edensear bc basically ur just going to hear me out on whatever i have to say

[searchingwardrobes]

Not the Type: 1/7

Here it is, my contribution to the @captainswanmoviemarathon​ ! Aka, the Bring it On AU no one asked for. I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. On the one hand, I love it as a rom com. On the other hand, as a sports movie, it’s awful. I was a cheerleader myself, and did a brief stint coaching, so I have some issues with this movie. First of all, where is the coach?!? Can you imagine a male driven sports movie without a coach? Remember the Titans with no coach? Glory Road with no coach? Miracle with no coach? I mean, come on! And do you really think a high school is gonna let their students do stunts that can potentially cause paralysis or death without adult supervision? And while they do portray the cheerleaders as athletes, in my opinion, they still hyper-sexualize them. The girls are also way too catty with each other. I can tell you from personal experience, that you need massive trust to do those stunts. Just sayin. Anyway, this whole soap box is to say that this is a LOOSE adaptation of Bring it On written by someone who loves the sport it portrays. But don’t worry, this modern day Lieutenant Duckling AU will have plenty of fluff, feels, flirty banter, and epic kisses. I would like to say this is the cheerleading version of @welllpthisishappening​ ‘s Blue Line universe, but I don’t pretend to be that brilliant. Laura’s writing did inspire me as I wrote this “sports fic,” however, so massive props to her: the queen of sports writing!

Massive thanks to the mods of the Captain Swan Movie Marathon event as well as all of the other writers. The discord chats have been a blast - especially when you all helped me brainstorm a title for this. Thanks to @hookedonapirate​ for being an awesome beta and to @rumdrum91​ for giving the first chapter a quick once over even while you are insanely busy.

This fic is about . . . 85% complete? It will be updated every Saturday. I’ll shut up now and get to the point . . .

Summary: Emma Swan first notices him in the stands at the Friday night football game. She can tell right away Killian Jones is not the football type. Then again, she's not the cheerleader type either, but here she is with pom poms. Life hasn't ever gone the way Emma planned. Lately, that's actually been a good thing. Maybe Killian Jones is a good thing, too.

Rated: T

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @snowbellewells​​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​ @let-it-raines​​​ @teamhook​​​​ @bethacaciakay​​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​ @shireness-says​​​​ @stahlop​​​​ @scientificapricot​​​​ @welllpthisishappening​​​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​​​ @thislassishooked​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​ @kday426​​​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​ @nikkiemms​​​ @optomisticgirl​​​​ @profdanglaisstuff​​​ @carpedzem​​​ @ohmakemeahercules​​​​ @branlovestowrite​​​ @superchocovian​​​ @sherlockianwhovian​​​​ @vvbooklady1256​​​ @hollyethecurious​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​​​ @jennjenn615​​​ @snidgetsafan​ @spartanguard​ @itsfabianadocarmo​

Bounce left, bounce right. Two hip shakes. Roger rabbit, Roger Rabbit. Bobby Brown, Bobby Brown. Cabbage patch. Electric slide. Repeat.

Emma repeated the steps to the dance like a mantra in her head. A cheerleader was supposed to smile all the time, but she couldn’t conjure one up as she bounced through the choreography that dated back to 1989. Okay, maybe they threw in the cabbage patch in 1994, but still. This shit was old.

The band sped up as they played through another round of “Louie, Louie,” and the cheerleading squad was racing through the dance like a tape on fast forward. The band thought it was hilarious and never ceased to tire of the schtick.

Emma was doing what felt like her hundredth Roger Rabbit when she caught sight of him. A large book half covered his face, so she could still see his arched brow and smirk. She held his gaze as she went into her Bobby Browns, and he lowered his book, still staring openly, a crooked grin filling his face. Was he mocking her? She stared him down as she did the cabbage patch, and his eyes widened. She tilted her chin as she went into the electric slide, and his tongue swiped his lips.

“Louie, Louie” finally, mercifully, ended. Emma whipped her ponytail as she broke the guy’s stare. She bounced up and down, waving her pom poms and shouting “Go Knights!” Mary Margaret had finally gotten her to stop rolling her eyes.

“Well look at you, Emma Swan,” Ruby said as they all turned to watch the game and cheer the offense.

“What?” Emma stood at attention, just like all the other girls, her poms on her hips.

“Don’t play dumb, Emma,” Ashley quipped on her other side. “We’re better at it than you.”

“That guy,” Ruby explained. “You were having cheer sex with him.”

“Cheer sex? Seriously?”

Emma tossed her poms down to the ground and tightened her ponytail angrily. She hated football season.

🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Emma whirled around to find herself face to face with the guy she was definitely not having cheer sex with. Whatever the hell that was. She rolled her eyes. Mary Margaret couldn’t do anything about it during half time.

“Just because I’m baring my midriff and my skirt barely covers my hips doesn’t give you permission to ogle me.”

His blue eyes widened. Very blue, actually. No! It didn’t matter if his eyes were pretty; he was a creep.

“You misunderstand me, love.”

“Not your love.” Though he did have a hot accent. What? No! Nothing about him was hot.

He sighed. “Look, I couldn’t help watching you. All the other girls had fake smiles, but you . . . “ he shrugged. “You looked like you hated being here as much as I do.”

Emma blinked in surprise, and her gaze darted to the hardback copy of The Two Towers clutched in his hand. She also took in his slightly disheveled hair, slender build, and Pink Floyd t-shirt. Clearly not the football type.

The students in line behind them for the concession stand grumbled for them to move, so they both shuffled forward.

Emma smiled apologetically and extended her hand. “Emma Swan.”

“Killian Jones.”

“So, what are doing here, hipster?”

He chuckled and ducked his head. He looked a lot more bashful than he had in the stands.

“Granny insisted I put down my guitar, stop singing depressing songs, and get my ass here to support my foster siblings. Her words exactly.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “You’re Ruby’s new foster brother!”

He leaned closer and winked. “Guilty as charged.”

******************************************************

“Cheer sex, Ruby!” Emma snapped as she returned from the concession stand with her bottle of water and bag of pretzels. She lifted the items up on auto-pilot for Coach Ava’s approval, which she received. The Coach insisted on healthy snacks during games and practice. Some of the girls chafed at the rule, but Emma had no problem with it. The last thing she wanted was someone hurling from the top of a pyramid because they had just wolfed down chili cheese fries or something.

“What?” Ruby asked before taking a bite of the apple in her hand.

“Cheer sex,” Emma repeated, “with your foster brother? Ew!”

Ruby rolled her eyes as she chewed and swallowed. “Let me emphasize the foster part. If you wanna bang Killian, I won’t stop you.”

Emma let out a groan of frustration as several of the other girls giggled. “I’m not banging anyone.”

“Exactly! And why is that, Emma?”

“Leave her alone,” Mary Margaret admonished. “Just banging someone isn’t what she needs.”

Emma appreciated Mary Margaret’s positivity - usually - but she wasn’t in the mood for another speech on true love. “I’d actually prefer a complete change of topic.”

“Good,” the girls jumped at the sound of Coach Ava’s voice behind them, “because you only have five minutes left of half time to finish those snacks. Which is kind of hard to do when you’re yapping.”

“Okay, coach,” the girls grumbled good-naturedly. They all loved Ava, and not just because she was Mary Margaret’s mom. She really cared about all of them and was both tough and fair as a coach. Better even than some of the gymnastics coaches Emma had had. Emma had never planned on being a cheerleader, but Emma was used to things in her life not going according to plan. That was usually for the worst, but lately she had to admit it had been for the better. She hadn’t planned on being adopted by the Nolans, either, and that had been the best thing to ever happen to her. When the social worker brought her to her new foster mother, Ruth, and foster brother, David, she had fully expected it to be nothing more than yet another brief stay. She hadn’t expected to be loved.

She hadn’t expected to love in return.

Emma tossed her empty pretzel bag into the trash can near the stadium stairs. She took another swig of her water, then tossed the bottle into her cheer bag that was monogrammed with her name and a megaphone. It was cheesy and matched the bags of all the other girls.

She hadn’t expected to like this group of girls, either. Hadn’t expected to find a group of athletes, but she did. Yes, since age thirteen, life had been surprising her rather than throwing her curveballs. Maybe thirteen was actually her lucky number. Now she was seventeen and had an actual family in addition to fifteen sisters.

With pom poms.

🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈

Emma crammed her first and second period books into her locker, grabbed the stuff she needed for third, then slammed the door shut. She took off down the hall at almost a sprint. TV and movies were shit in portraying high school. Kids hanging out by their lockers chatting at any and all times of the day. Complete and utter lies. Storybrooke High gave kids five minutes - five minutes! - to get to each class. There were some breaks where she didn’t have time to stop at her locker, but her American History book weighed about three tons and she refused to lug it around all day. She didn’t care if it was completely out of her way. She was chucking that book, damn it, before she threw her back out. Three weeks into the year, and she had it timed down to the second.

She did not have time to be slammed into and knocked to her rear end. “Hey!” she shouted at the jerk who’d plowed into her.

A hand reached down and hauled her to her feet. “Apologies lass.”

She knew that accent before she looked into those blue eyes. She suddenly realized she was still clutching Killian’s hand in hers. She yanked her hand away.

“Yeah, well watch where you’re going next time.”

He grinned in a way that was three-fourths charming and one-fourth roguish. “A pleasure as always, Swan.”

Then the ridiculous boy bowed over her hand and kissed it! She rolled her eyes. He arched his brow.

“Advanced Trigonometry?”

He was offering her a pad of graph paper that had her homework scrawled all over it. She snatched it from him and stuffed it into her bag. It was then she realized the zipper was broken. Great. Just great.

“Why are you so interested in my class schedule?”

He shrugged as he rocked back on his heels. “I’m impressed is all.”

She lifted one shoulder, then dropped it as she attempted to balance her busted backpack in both arms. “My mom insisted on one advanced course this year, and math’s the one subject I don’t suck at.”

He tilted his head. “Intriguing.”

“Why?” she snapped. “Because you assume cheerleaders are moronic sluts?” The bell rang, and she dropped her head back with a groan. “Great! Now you’ve made me late.”

She shouldered past him, and her hackles raised when she heard his low chuckle. He laid a hand on her arm before she could move away and lowered his head to her ear.

“Most guys would find your attitude off-putting, but I love a challenge.”

“Sure you do,” she muttered as she stalked away.

At practice that afternoon, she was informing Ruby that her brother was an absolute pain in the ass.

[florenceandthemachine]

that original lifeline

chapter 5 / 5 - “you deserve what you are given” - 3.6k

in which Eddie has a good day, has a bad day, sees a familiar face, and tries not to blow up an ambulance. not necessarily in that order.

it’s all done! my first ever standalone, prompt-free fic! I hope you all at least tolerated it as much as I did. I also would like to say—please, if you’re seeing things that look messy or need to be touched up, you’re welcome to let me know. I'm sure I'm going to go over it and re-edit a million times over the next week.

read on AO3

Eddie knew that things were going to be different the moment he slapped his alarm the next morning, because for the first time in months, he actually turned his alarm off. He didn’t lie in bed and ignore it, he didn’t hit snooze until he could get the energy to see the day, he turned it off, he got up, and he started to dress. He couldn’t remember the last time he had greeted a Monday on time for an early morning workout, but the few miles he was able to get in on the treadmill was nothing compared to the look of happiness on his son’s face when he got to join him and Carla for breakfast—instead of running out the door, a granola bar lodged in his mouth. He literally felt like he just woke up on the right side of the bed this morning; judging by the way that Chris lit up, and Carla rose her brows in surprise, his change in attitude was already being noticed. 

Even if Carla was good enough not to comment on it. 

Honestly, Eddie didn’t know what was going on himself, but he wasn’t going to complain. A day ago, he had almost started to cry at one of those family car commercials with an old dog in it, and today, he was already back into the familiar motions of ‘being well’. 

He had been through enough therapy in his life to know the “highs and lows” mental health speech every which way, but what he hadn’t realized until this morning was that when you were low, being low becomes your new normal. Eddie had been through it before (with Shannon, with his parents, with… name a thing), and he knew it would probably come again, but that didn’t make the moments that he got to stand in the light on the other side of the tunnel any less sweet.

It felt like he was standing in the sun.

“Morning Hen! Coffee?” Eddie grinned as he took the stairs up into the loft two at a time, box of danishes in one hand, coffee holders stacked high in the other. He had literally been smiling since he parked his car outside, and was now beaming at Hen only because she was lucky enough to be the first person he got to see that day. Lucky, sure, but he still didn’t miss the way that her brows rose into her hair as she took her cup and her selection of baked goods, knowing full well that this was probably… a lot to take in from his behavior for the past many weeks. 

“You’re… cheery.” Hen commented easily, staring at Eddie like a puzzle to figure out—and while that would have made him nervous before, it was actually kind of nice now, a friend showing that she cared. 

To his credit, Eddie just shrugged, pulling off another coffee as he put the boxes down on the table, knowing full well they would be devoured before he could even look back. “What can I say? It’s a good day today, the sun is out, and I only have to be here for eight hours. Hey, where’s Chim? I got Mr. Asian James Bond an extra bear claw, since he’s been driving everyone up the wall with his whole sorority girls speech.”

Hen let the topic drop (and Eddie thanked her silently for it) as she groaned and shook her head, taking another drag from her coffee cup as, sure enough, the pastry boxes started to draw everyone in like flies. He started handing out coffees to those who’s orders he could remember, grinning as Hen launched into it. “No no, ‘Asian James Bond’ was last week, now it’s ‘Asian Sex Symbol’ to you. God, that stupid calendar, between he and Bobby I am ready to enter myself, blow them both out of the water as Miss July, and—”

“Hey, hold up, where’s Bosko?” Eddie said, cutting her off before she could pick up too much steam, staring at the last coffee in his hands as Bobby pulled his own free. 

Hen and Bobby shared a glance as Bobby cleared his throat around a mouthful of coffee, swallowing before he started to speak. “Actually, Lena’s back with the 136 for the foreseeable future. I’m happy to say that we finally have that vacancy filled.”

Eddie felt his brows launch into his hairline, only vaguely remembering that Lena was supposed to be here on a temporary basis—and he had been a complete ass to her for the past few months. Well, that was going to be a fun little addition to his long list of issues, and he winced as he made a mental note to swing by the 136 later on with another danish and an apology. Hen caught the look, her own brow tilting in return, though she was good enough to redirect her attention back up to Bobby. “So, wait, who’s going to be the newbie on the 118?”

“He is walking up the stairs right now, if you want to turn around. Just graduated out of the Academy last week. Pretty much top of his class, apparently impressed enough people that I had to fight off station 6 to get him to come here—welcome, Evan Buckley.” 

“Hey, uh, you can just call me Buck.” 

Eddie almost choked on his coffee as he heard a voice behind him, grabbing a napkin to catch a few drops as he turned, trying to repress his cough as he turned around, meeting a pair of blue eyes, staring at Eddie with an intensity that made his insides curl like he had just been sucker punched. He didn’t say anything, of course, just reached out and shook hands, introduced himself, did the whole shebang—with a smile, he might add! 

Today was a good day. It could still be a good day. It really, really had the potential to be a good day. 

-

Today was not a good day. 

Eddie wanted to work well with Buck, he really did, but every time Buck opened his mouth, all Eddie could feel was pressure, water pushing in on him at every angle, the choking taste of mud in his mouth. At this point in time, Eddie wasn’t sure what was worse—that Buck seemed to put his foot in his mouth whenever he talked to Eddie, or the fact that he didn’t seem to give a fuck where and when he was flapping his yap.

An exploding man hole cover literally knocking someone’s arm into the nearby pool? He had barely started with “Hey, you good? You must have lucked out after that firetruck and all…” before Eddie was talking over him, asking for gauze and a tourniquet to try and save some of the live tissue in the very-much-not-alive arm. 

A stab wound to the ass that resulted in the most lifelike Michelin man that Eddie had ever seen? “So, silver star, huh? You save a platoon or something?” Eddie managed to smile, jaw tight as he shook his head. “No, nothing like that. I was just in convoy.”

Even their downtime wasn’t safe—a grocery run that wound up with the entire team stacked high with grocery bags as they walked back into the station? “Hey, I saw a piece about that drill—“

“Alright, who wants lunch?” Eddie was immensely thankful for Bobby’s distraction, not bothering to hide the fact that his interruption was far from a coincidence. By now, even Hen was looking at Buck like he was a crazy person at that point—or maybe just an asshole. 

Somehow, after all of their calls, it only came to a head in the gym. Apparently, Buck had decided that the subtle approach (not that anything Buck did could be called subtle) wasn’t good enough, and for whatever reason decided that the gym was the best time to approach Eddie. 

Honestly, if Eddie wasn’t a good thirty away from the first real workout he had had in weeks, he probably would have walked away.

“Eddie, you… you know who I am, right?”

His jaw twitching in time with his punches, Eddie finally relented from the poor bag and looked at Buck directly, jaw set as he started to rewrap his hands. “And what if I didn’t? You think this would have gone over well with HR, the new guy bringing up the worst days of my life and all but asking me about a fucking guardian angel?”

“Jesus, that’s not what I—“

“I met Athena.”

Eddie could almost hear Buck’s mouth shut, the clack of his teeth somehow louder than the din of the station behind him. “I met her and she told me that she didn’t know what had happened, and then she offered to make me forget. Forget about you, about everything, because not even she knew where you had wound up.” Eddie started, rolling his wrists easily. “She apologized to me, she said she missed you, well, not that she was alone in that sense. You should probably find a way to apologize to her, too. Let her know you’re okay. Hold the bag.” Eddie’s voice was low even as his tone started to sharpen, doing his absolute best to keep his face neutral, lest he want any attention from Hen or Bobby for harassing the new guy. 

To Buck’s credit, he did as Eddie asked, holding the bag steady as Eddie started to wail on it anew, thankful that he at least had the temporary distraction of pressure against his knuckles to stop the urge to scream into the sky. 

“Athena… she really did that?” Eddie didn’t respond, just threw another punch, grunting with the exertion. Buck’s voice was low, barely louder than the sound of Eddie’s hands making contact with the bag. “Is that what you want? An apology? Because I’m not going to apologize for saving you, Eddie, I’m not going to say sorry for not leaving you in the bottom of a pit to… I’m not sorry for that. So if that’s what you’re after, I don’t know what to offer you.” 

Eddie threw a kick from his left, giving Buck plenty of time to adjust his grip before his ankle came smashing into the bag, panting as he stared Buck down, feeling the anger start to drain out of him as he breathed, shaking his head. “Buck, is that what you think this is about?”

Buck, bless him, just looked like a lost puppy when what Eddie said sunk in.

“You saved my life. I mean, you’ve always kept me safe, but back there you saved my life. You let me go home to my kid, you… I could never thank you enough for that. I’m not mad about that.” He shook his head, flexing his fingers as he took another fighting stance, his poster lower, more subdued than the all out attack he was waging before. 

“Well then what—“

“I’m not mad at you because you left.” Eddie repeated, starting another round of punches, each hit slower, shorter, but packed with more force than was strictly necessary. “I’m mad at you because you fucking—because you didn’t come back. Because you chose not to come back. You went through the academy, top of the class, and that was eighteen weeks of you being here, just miles away from me in Los Angeles, and you let me think that you were dead that entire time. You were with me my whole entire life, you were a constant, and then I lost you, Buck, and I had to try and live with that. And then you show up at work today, and you’re alive, and human, and I’ve had barely eight hours to deal with all of this, after I—I fucking mourned you. I mourned you, and you let me, and that—that’s why I’m mad.”

Although, the more he spoke, the more Eddie realized that he wasn’t mad, not really, not that he would own up to it that easily. He wasn’t angry, he was just… crushed. His hook got sloppy and he went wide, eyes wild, stumbling only a little before catching himself on the bag.

“Why does everyone leave me? What did I do, Buck, why didn’t you come back?”

The sudden sound of footsteps drew his eye up to the loft where the next shift was pouring in, easily exchanging pleasantries with Eddie’s team, and Eddie felt the last bit of fight drain out of him as he started to unwind his gloves. The day was done. His shift was over. And after feeling nothing but empty for weeks, Eddie had just about exhausted the entire range of his emotional capabilities in less than a day.

“Eddie, I—“

“Forget it, Buck. I’ll see you tomorrow, or whatever.” Eddie said, not even bothering to look over his shoulder as he headed back to the locker area.

-

“Fire and Rescue, hello?”

Eddie was having another… long day. Not a bad day, not necessarily, but not a… great day either. He had still managed to get up, he had still brought himself to work, he still managed an honest smile when he kissed Chris goodbye, but he found himself hesitating before he wound up walking into the 118. He didn’t know if he could handle Buck again today—thankfully, it seemed like he didn’t have to. Buck was mostly absent that morning, giving Eddie enough apologetic looks over the table to display that he got he had been an asshole the day before (or, more likely, that Hen and Chim had verbally beat that fact into him before Eddie got there).

Their morning had gone off without incident—there had only been one real call outside a few false alarms, a moron with his head literally cemented into a microwave—and to be honest, Eddie couldn’t deny the fact that he loved how easily he and Buck could work together. Well, how easy they worked together when Buck shut up for three minutes. 

Another save, an easy lunch, and Eddie’s eight hour shift looked like it would be ending easily when they got the call to head down to Torrence, walking into what felt like the worlds most mothball-scented Army Navy Surplus store.

Eddie felt his body tense up as soon as the word ‘grenade’, having to take a split second to remind himself that he was still in the States, he wasn’t in wartime, he was still safe. Because he was safe, they were okay, until Buck moved the dressings and a gold glint caught his eye. 

“None of the guys I’ve worked with were dumb enough to shoot a live round into their own leg, but I’m familiar with the ordinance.”

Eddie felt his jaw twitch again as Buck stared him down, a tic that he was sure would come to be familiar in over the next few days. Honestly, he was starting to think that Buck was just bringing all the mess with him—he had gone months without a call that threatened his life and limb, and then as soon as Buck came back into his life, there he was, with a grenade stuck inside of some old, gun collecting bastard. He could almost feel the moment where Buck opened his mouth—it was the same feeling he got whenever Buck had appeared, years and years ago, whenever something extremely stupid was about to happen. 

“I’m in.” 

Of course he was. 

For what it was worth, Buck had stellar bedside manner. It was easy for him to to make small talk with Charlie while he hung the morphine, asking about his wife, his life, and Eddie found himself a little bit reassured by how easily Buck was able to buckle down and rise to the situation. After all, Buck had been doing that for Eddie’s whole life—it would be a shame if he lost that skill when he could use it the most.

They kept their talk small and professional as Eddie worked, even though most of his work was giving short, clipped orders, like he was afraid that the grenade would be able to tell how stressed out he was and put them both out of their misery, then and there. They both let out a collective sigh of relief as the grenade plunked, solid and heavy into the bin, Buck hastily closing it like a lid would save them all if that thing were to blow up.

Eddie was just finishing up, throwing a few stitches to try and keep things together until Charlie could make it up to surgery when Buck finally found his voice.

“I was scared, Eddie.”

Eddie didn’t even bother looking up, his fingers working quickly. “I know, but we got it out, we just have to be careful not to move the box too much.”

“No. I mean, about coming back, about seeing you, I… I was scared.”

Eddie looked up as he threw another stitch, sparing a quick look to make sure that the old man was still out cold. When Buck looked up to him, Eddie rose his brows, giving him a little not of encouragement. 

“You said I’ve been with you your whole life, but… that goes both ways, Eddie. I don’t even know what happened, one minute I had hurled you out of that lake, and the next I was nothing, there was just nothing, and then…” He took a breath as he moved the dressings, letting Eddie continue his easy stitchwort. “And then I was in a loft in Los Angeles, with a drivers license in my pocket and a brochure for the LAFD Academy on a dresser. I still don’t know how I got there, but I knew it would bring me to you.”

“Here, cut here.”

Buck snipped the end of Eddie’s suture easily, passing him a tube of antibacterial gel, dolloping it along the messy wound site.

“For the first time in years, I couldn’t feel you anymore. I didn’t know what you were doing, or how you were feeling, or if you were safe, and it scared me. I missed you, of course I did, but I knew that if I just went right back to you, it would be like nothing had changed, when really, everything had changed.” Eddie looked up as he covered the gel in an adhesive gauze patch, hanging another bag of fluids, eyes tracking between the steady blip of the heart monitor and the very live grenade in a bin at the end of the ambulance, while his brain tried to keep up with the live grenade that he and Buck were lobbing back and forth.

Nodding for Buck to open the back door, Eddie waited until they both had their feet on the ground to respond, rolling his neck. “Well, that’s kind of par for the course. Being scared, I mean.” he started, a small smile on his face as Buck looked back, catching his eye. Eddie shrugged, eye darting over to the rest of their team, still safely out of earshot as he nudged Buck’s shoulder, the motion easy and simple, muscle memory built up over years.

“Welcome to the human condition. It kind of sucks. You’re going to love it.”

And fuck, Buck was smiling again. Eddie would give anything to keep that look on his face, even as they handed Charlie off to the medics, even as the bomb squad guy called in the robot to… well, to do what, Eddie didn’t know. But that was the beauty of it all—he didn’t have to care anymore. All that mattered to him in that moment were his boots on his ground, the air around him, and maybe, if he played his cards right, the team he got to work with. He could feel Bobby’s eyes on him as he pulled his flac jacket off, a little slow on the uptake of whatever had happened in the ambulance.

“You know, you’re pretty badass under pressure.” Eddie said, his face curving up into the first real smile he had worn in days. Buck looked like a deer in the headlights, like Eddie must have been talking to someone, anyone else, and even Bobby cracked a grin as Eddie smacked him in the arm. “You can have my back any day.”

Buck looked, well, Eddie would have framed the look on Buck’s face if he could. It was a vision of pure joy, the simple sentence meaning more to both of them than anyone else could ever know, and Eddie had to resist the urge to pull him into a bone crushing hug as he kicked at the ground. 

“Yeah. Or, you know, you could… You could have mine.”

If Eddie smiled any wider, he felt like his face was going to crack.

 They were still not great—not by a long shot—but for the first time in almost six months, Eddie finally felt something close to closure, to peace, a starting point for the two of them that would take them both who-knows-where.

“Deal.”

And then, because nothing in Eddie’s life was ever easy, the ambulance exploded. Eddie wasn’t even phased at this point in his life—any exploding vehicle was fine by him as long as he wasn’t on it.

“Are, uh, are you guys hungry? There’s a great burger place around here, they’re open for another hour or so.”

-

Hanging back as the rest of his crew packed up, Bobby pulled his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed, a small smile gracing his lips as he unlocked it. 

New Message from A - 11:12PM

Well? Was I right, or was I right?

“Cap, come on! Burgers wait for no man!”

To A - 11:14PM

They’re going to be one hell of a team.

[fortheheavenssake]

MM ANON SEASON TWO.

💜💜 PG MM Anon 💜💜 Interpretation Collection - 1

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF SEASON TWO:THE RETURN OF MM ANON 🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

1. April 15, 2020

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻WELCOME BACK MM ANON 🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

APRIL 14/2020 1735 hrs CST

RIDDLE NUMBER ONE SEASON TWO: THE RETURN OF MM ANON

THANK YOU MM ANON

MM ANON …… doctor gone batty……… LA for dummies ……… Doctors Within Borders ……… social insistence ………… hugs not bugs……… absolutely isolated Kate. ……… “ not a whisper ma’am ……… St George’s chapel of course!!…………… with humility skippy, with humility

doctor gone batty………

WELL, WELL, WELL, I AM HAVING A SENSE OF DÉJÀVU. I CERTAINLY AM GLAD I TOOK TIME OFF TO RECHARGE MY BATTERIES OVER EASTER 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣? I, ALONG WITH MOST REASONABLE PEOPLE KNOW MADAM HAS NEVER LEFT THE U.K. AND IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT LIVING THE “HIGH”🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂LIFE IN L.A. SHE IS, AS SUSPECTED, IN SOME SORT OF CUSTODIAL CARE, CRIMINAL, PSYCHIATRIC OR BOTH. EITHER WAY, SHE HAS A PSYCHIATRIST AND OR OTHER MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS ON HER TREATMENT PLAN. TRUE TO FORM, SHE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING EXCEPT WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO THEREFORE COMPLETELY UNCOOPERATIVE AND MANIPULATIVE IN CARE. HENCE THE VERNACULAR USE OF THE WORD BATTY, SLANG FOR CRAZY. THE DOCTOR HAS GONE CRAZY TRYING TO DEAL WITH HER.

LA for dummies ………

THE WHOLE SET OF ZILLIONS OF BOOKS FOR DUMMIES WERE EXTREMELY POPULAR IN THE 1990’s . ANY TOPIC HAD A BLANK FOR DUMMIES BOOK. HER PR AND THE LIES IE MANSION PURCHASED ETC ETC.TRAVALYST REGISTERED. BIG NEWS YESTERDAY SAYING HARRY DROPPED THE NAME MOUNTBATTEN-WINDSOR. I AM VERY CERTAIN HIS AND WILLIAMS SURNAME IS WALES. BECAUSE I RECALL SEEING IT ON THEIR MILITARY RANK AND UNIFORMS, CADET WALES, CAPTAIN WALES ETC. SO SHE IS SO DUMB SHE HAS PR MAKE A BIG WHOOP ABOUT THIS AND ITS NOT ACCURATE.SHE IS USING FOR DUMMIES BOOK TO BUILD HER FALSE L.A. LIFE. SAD PATHETIC.

Doctors Within Borders ………

DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS IS AN INTERNATIONAL GROUP OF PHYSICIANS WHO VOLUNTEER TO HELP OUT ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WITHOUT REGARDS TO ANY POLITICAL CONCERNS. THEY GO BECAUSE OF THE NEED AND THEIR OATHS AS PHYSICIANS. HERE WE HAVE WITHIN BORDERS. THE BORDERS ARE AN AREA IN SCOTLAND. MIGHT THAT BE WHERE SHE IS BEING HELD BY LAW ENFORCEMENT? I USE THAT LOOSELY COULD BE MI5 OR ANY BRANCH.

I ALSO WONDER IF MADAM, AS WE HAVE HEARD RUMOURS OF, TRIED TO CROSS BORDERS AT TIMES TO HIDE TO NO AVAIL.

social insistence …………

WITH THE PANDEMIC, THE TERM SOCIAL DISTANCE HAS BEEN DRILLED INTO OUR HEADS. THEN , THEY REALIZED THIS MIGHT MEAN DEPRIVATION OF EMOTIONAL CONTACTS, MOST ARE NOW USING THE TERM PHYSICAL DISTANCING. REGARDLESS, MADAM DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS EXCEPT THAT IT HAS RIPPED HEADLINES FROM HER.

I BET CHICKY POO 💩 IS DEMANDING SOCIAL ACTIVITIES. SHE WANTS TO AND NEEDS TO MERCH BUT MORESO HER EGO NEEDS FOOD, BADLY!! SHE IS STARVED FOR ANY POSITIVE ATTENTION. THE JOKE ARCHWELL SITE BEING HELD HOSTAGE IS THE PENULTIMATE REVENGE. GREAT JOB WILLIAM!!!

hugs not bugs………

SHE HAS BEEN THOUGHT TO HAVE PLANTED RECORDING AND LISTENING DEVICES AT VARIOUS PLACES IN ORDER TO TRY AND RECORD PRIVATE ROYAL VIDEO OR CONVERSATION. DISGUSTING BINT!! THERE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE SWEEPING OF ALL THE RESIDENCES AND OFFICES QUITE SOMETIME AGO AND SHE HAS NOT BEEN IN ANY OF THESE PLACES SINCE.

JUST JOVIALLY THE ROYAL FAMILY PREFERS HUGS, NOT FROM HER THOUGH, TO BUGS. SASLY, LIKE THE REST OF US, DUE TO THE COVID ISSUE, THEY ARE NOT ABLE TO ALL BE PHYSICALLY TOGETHER TO HUG , ESPECIALLY HMTQ, PRINCESS CHARLOTTE AND PRINCE LOUIS’BIRTHDAY. THANK GOD FOR FACETIME, SKYPE ETC ETC.

RIGHT NOW THE BIGGEST BUG IS COVID-19! SURELY SHE IS NOT YAPPING FOR ATTENTION INSTEAD OF EVEN CARING A WHITE ABOUT THE PANDEMIC. OF COURSE SHE DOESNT CARE. SHES A NARC!!!

absolutely isolated Kate. ………

WILLIAM IS TALKING WITH CATHERINE, ALTHOUGH HE WOULD NEVER CALL HER KATE BECAUSE SHE PREFERS CATHERINE, HOWEVER, HE IS TELLING HER HOW ISOLATED THE PLACE IS WHERE MADAM IS CURRENTLY BEING “HOSTED”. I AM CERTAIN THAT IS A HUGE RELIEF FOR HER! SOME MIGHT THINK THIS IS A VACATION PLAN THATS QUIET BUT THATS UNTHINKABLE DURING THE PANDEMIC.

“ not a whisper ma’am ………

LG SPEAKING WITH HMTQ, VIA TELEPHONE, SHE IS SAFELY ENSCONCED AT WINDSOR CASTLE. HE IS UPDATING HER, REASSURING THAT THINGS ARE COMPLETELY COVERT.

St George’s chapel of course!!……………

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY 100%BEATRICE AND EDO’S WEDDING. ONCE THINGS COME OUT, IT WILL BE REVEALED ABOUT HRH PRINCE ANDREW BEING THE FIRST POINT OF ATTACK, TO NO SUCCESS. THE PLAN IN THE WORKS FOR A DECADE TO INFILTRATE, THREATEN, DESTROY OUR BELOVED MONARCHY. HE WILL BE VINDICATED AND OUR PRINCESS BEATRICE WILL RECEIVE A GRAND TRULY ROYAL 👰🏽 🎩 WEDDING, AT ST GEORGE’S CHAPEL!!!

with humility skippy, with humility

MM ANON AND THE OTHER ANONS LEFT SO ABRUPTLY MONTHS AGO. I WONDER IF MM ANON IS EXPRESSING HER FEELINGS ABOUT RETURNING TO THE BLOG AND SEASON TWO OF RIDDLES, SHE IS HUMBLY, WITH HUMILITY ASKING SKIPPY TO RETURN.

THE END IS NIGH, I AM THINKING A BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR HMTQ AND A BREAK FROM PANDEMIC TO FINALLY SEE JUSTICE ACHIEVED. MM ANON HAS BEEN DIRECTED TO, AS WE ALL KNOW ANYWAYS, SKIPPY YOUR YEARS OF LOYAL, FAITHFULLNESS TO HMTQ, WILL BEAR FRUIT AND THE SCALES OF JUSTICE ARE IN PLAY ⚖️ . WE ALL KNOW 🐼SKIPPY DEAR, WILL BE VERY HAPPY, HUMBLE AND SAY ITS NOT JUST ME, MEANING SHE REFERS TO HERSELF, BUT A TRUE TEAM EFFORT. BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO STARTED THIS TRAIN AND HAS KEPT IT RUNNING FOR YEARS. CHEERS 🥂. MY DEAR FRIEND 🐼, FOR THE END IS NIGH UPON US. HARRY WILL BE FREED AND HE WILL FIND HIS WAY BACK. I HAVE NEVER, NOT FOR ONE SECOND HAD ANY DOUBT ABOUT HIS LOYALTY TO HMTQ, YOU ALL KNOW THAT, I HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY OPEN ABOUT THIS AS SKIPPY HAS.

THE END IS NIGH!

WISHING AND PRAYING FOR THE BEST OF HEALTH FOR HMTQ, HRH THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH, OUR CAMBRIDGES AND OF COURSE OUR HARRY!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿. April 15/2020

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2. April 30

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

MM ANON ……… the only virus ………… wonderful children to hug…… magnificent isolation ma’am……… dirty Megan,clean Harry ……… will never be the same ………… big things for a future princess ……… home cooking ………… “ ground control to major Tom” ………. “ and wash your bloody hands!!!……… an archificial birthday ………… trooping the colours???

APRIL 30/20 1700 hrs CST

SEASON TWO RIDDLE TWO

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊😊WELL WELL WELL, I HAVE BEEN WAITING, WAITING AND WAITING FOR YOU🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗, HERE YOU ARE, SECOND SEASON RIDDLE TWO. THANK YOU MM ANON 😊😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

MM ANON

……… the only virus …………

THERE IS ONE VIRUS THAT HAS CHANGED THE ENTIRE WORLD COMPLETELY FOREVER. THE COVID-19 CORONAVIRUS HAS STOPPED THE 2020th YEAR COLD, DEAD COLD. IT HAS BEEN HORRIFIC TO WATCH IT SPREAD, MUTATE, SPREAD, TOO MANY DEATHS FAR FAR TOO MANY 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.TOILET PAPER BINGES ETC. BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE BUT ALSO THE WORST. I AM A GLASS HALF FULL KINDA GAL. WE HAVE SEEN SO VERY MUCH OF THE BEST OF HUMANITY EVEN TO THE POINT OF DOCTORS, NURSES, GIVING THEIR LIVES CARING FOR THESE PATIENTS. THERE ARE PLENTY OF CONSPIRACY THEORIES BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT NOR FOR BLAME. YOU DO NOT BLAME AN ARSONIST IN THE MIDDLE OF A 12 ALARM FIRE.

wonderful children to hug……

I AM CERTAIN ONCE RESTRICTIONS ARE LIFTED HMTQ WILL BE JUST ACHING FOR HUGS FROM HER FAMILY MEMBERS, YOUNG AND OLD. I AM CERTAIN THE CAMBRIDGE HOUSEHOLD ARE GIVING AND RECEIVING LOTS AND LOTS OF EXTA HUGS. TWO BIRTHDAYS PLUS HMTQ! THEY ARE WONDERFUL CHILDREN, SPLENDID HUGGERS I AM CERTAIN BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING TAUGHT BY THE BEST.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

magnificent isolation ma’am………

LG VIA PHONE TO HMTQ, OR PERHAPS SYDNEY AS HE BRINGS THE COCKTAILS. HMTQ AND HRH THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH HAVE SELF ISOLATED TOGETHER FOR WEEKS AT WINDSOR CASTLE. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE EVENINGS IN WARM COMFY CLOTHES, TV BLARING, HIMSELF WITH HIS BODDINGTONS AND HMTQ WITH HER GIN AND DUBONNET, TALKING OVER ALL THE CHANGES THEY HAVE SEEN DURING THEIR LIVES. THEY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE FREE TIME TO JUST SHARE WITH ONE ANOTHER, HOW MARVELLOUS. CHEERS 🥂 🍻 TO YOU BOTH. AND TO YOUR CONTINUED GOOD HEALTH🙏🏻🙏🏻. BEEN A MAGNIFICENT ISOLATION!

dirty Megan,clean Harry ………

AHHHHH YES, MADAM IS FILTHY IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY, ALLEGEDLY OF COURSE. THE SUIT WITH THE MOS WILL BEAR OR BARE🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂THIS OUT. SHE IS THE LIAR, THE MANIPULATOR, THE PHOTOSHOPPER, THE CON AND GRIFTER, THE WORST OF THE WORST.

SOON, THE WORLD WILL SEE WHAT I AND OTHERS HAVE BEEN SAYING, HARRY HAS BEEN OVERTLY COVERT, ON BEHALF OF HMTQ, TO BRING TO JUSTICE EVERY SINGLE BACKER IN THIS YEARS LONG MESS TO TAKE DOWN THE ROYAL FAMILY.

will never be the same …………

THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. HARRY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER THEY DIVORCED. TRULY NONE OF US WILL BE, NOR SHOULD WE BE. LIFE IS ABOUT GROWTH, CHANGE, DEALING WITH THE UNEXPECTED OTHERWISE YOU ARE A FAKE HOUSEPLANT COLLECTING DUST OR MADAM!

big things for a future princess ………

OUR CHARLOTTE HAS A BIG BIRTHDAY COMING UP. WE ALREADY, ALMOST SINCE DAY ONE, HAVE SEEN HOW STRONG A PERSONALITY SHE HAS. SHE WILL GROW INTO A FIERY, HIGHLY INTELLIGENT PRINCESS FOR THE 21ST CENTURY I HAVE NO DOUBT OF THAT.

BUT, TAKE HEED, HARKEN AND READ IT AGAIN, BIG THINGS FOR A “”F U T U R E””PRINCESS. CHARLOTTE IS ALREADY A PRINCESS. WHO IS THE FUTURE PRINCESS? I KNOW THEY HAVE ALWAYS SAID CAMILLA WILL NEVER TAKE THE TITLE PRINCESS OF WALES BECAUSE OF DIANA. IF NOT HER, THAN WHO IS THE FUTURE PRINCESS?? IF THIS IS CAMILLA, SHALL CHARLES BE REGENT BUT WHAT WOULD HER TITLE BE THEN? I JUST DO NOT THINK THIS IS CAMILLA.

POSSIBILITY PUNCTUATION MIGHT HAVE BEEN MISSED, NEVER WITH MM ANON. READ IT THIS WAY……BIG THINGS FOR A FUTURE, PRINCESS. THAT WAY SOMEONE IS SPEAKING TO A PRINCESS BUT ITS NOT THAT WAY.

I AM LEANING TO CHARLES BECOMING REGENT. WILLIAM BECOMES THE PRINCE OF WALES AND GUESS WHO ???BECOMES PRINCESS OF WALES??!!! CATHERINE, OMG I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF I THINK I MIGHT BURST😁😁😁😁😁😁

home cooking …………

EVERYONE IS BAKING, BAKING BREAD, COOKING, DOING CRAFTS, RETURNING TO A SIMPLER FAR LESS SCHEDULED TIME. I AM CERTAIN THE CAMBRIDGE HOUSE IS NO DIFFERENCE. I AM CERTAIN CATHERINE HAS PROBABLY MADE ENOUGH. BOLOGNESE SAUCE, HER RECIPE, TO LAST FIVE YEARS🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂.

“ ground control to major Tom” ……….

WHAT A MIRACLE THIS WAS EH? HE IS NO LONGER MAJOR TOM, AND NO WE ARE NOT TALKING DAVID BOWIE, HE IS NOW COLONEL TOM MOORE. THANKS TO HMTQ, HE HAS RAISED LAST I HEARD £25,000,000! TALK ABOUT A HERO, KIDS TAKE NOTE, THAT GENT RIGHT THERE, THERE IS YOUR TRUE HERO, FORGET HOLLYWOOD.

“ and wash your bloody hands!!!………

THIS HAS TO BE HRH HIMSELF YELLING AT SYDNEY, WANTING ANOTHER BODDINGTONS AND REMINDS SYDNEY TO WASH HIS HANDS. OK KIDS, IF YOU DONT GET THE REFERENCES, CATCH, GO BACK READ THE NEARLY 200 RIDDLE INTERPRETATIONS I DID DURING MM ANON SEASON ONE!😁😁😁😁😁😁

an archificial birthday …………

WHAT WILL WE SEE, I BELIEVE MAY 6TH IS THE LIE EVERYONE HAS AGREED UPON🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. THERE WILL BE A PHOTO OF SOME SORT. IT SHALL BE BLURRY, BLACK AND WHITE, TAKEN WITH A WEIRD LENS, IT MIGHT BE THE IRIS OF HIS EYE, OR TOENAILS ON HIS RIGHT FOOT, PERHAPS THE BACK OF HIS NECK?? THERE ARE INFINITE OPTIONS WHEN DECEIT, LIES AND OBFUSCATION ARE YOUR GOAL. JUST FOR THE RECORD WE DO ALL AGREE THAT THOSE ARE HER GOALS AND THEN SOME RIGHT??

trooping the colours???

TROOPING THE COLOUR NO S NEVER AN S TAKES PLACE IN JUNE. IT IS SCHEDULED FOR JUNE 13/2020. THIS YEAR HMMMMMMM UP IN THE AIR, SO TO SPEAK.

MM ANON HAS GIVEN US COLOURS…..DOES THIS REFER TO MADAMS EVER CHANGING EXCESSIVELY USING BRONZER BUT NOT MATCHED ON HER WHOLE BODY? DOES THIS REFER TO HER USING HER AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP IN SOME WAY, IE COLOURS RED, WHITE, BLUE .

DOES THIS REFER TO HER REPEATED USE OF THE RACE CARD, IDENTIFYING AS CAUCASIAN PROFESSIONALLY BUT NOW EMBRACING HERSELF AS A WOMAN OF COLOUR.IF SHE WERE A CAKE, SHE WOULD BE OVER 100 LAYERS EACH WITH A DIFFERENT FLAVOUR SO SHE COULD USE WHAT WAS CONVENIENT AT THE TIME.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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3. MAY 1/2020

SEASON TWO RIDDLE #3

MM Anon

MM ANON … it’ll cost us thousands …… “ ‘‘tis the times’ plague , when madmen led the blind “……… 🎼 all the clubs have been closed down 🎼………… “ if you both don’t stop fighting I’ll send you to Madagascar “ ………… “ one makes ones bed”…………… “ well wash your bloody hands AGAIN!!”…………… “ there so funny on screen Philip” …… Quo victuals est super eam et irrumabo …………… next slide please.

it’ll cost us thousands …… “

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂. DECISIONS MADE IN THE HEARING TODAY WERE NOT NOT NOT IN MADAMS FAVOUR😁😁😁😁MADAM IS HAVING TO PAY HER COSTS AND THE LEGAL COSTS OF THE MOS, I BELIEVE TOTAL THUS FAR I READ EARLIER WAS AROUND £160,000!! THE ACTUAL TRIAL HAS NOT YET BEGUN, IT WILL BE LATE 2020 OR EARLY 2021! WHERE IS AN OLD SEA HAG EX YACHTER GOING TO COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY???

‘‘tis the times’ plague , when madmen led the blind “………

OH DEAR MM ANON, BACK TO THE BARD, I DO SO LOVE THIS. THIS TIME IT IS FROM KING LEAR. THERE IS A CURRENT SAYING TOO, THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND, OR THE BLONDE LEASING THE BLIND. I ALWAYS GOT BLONDE JOKES DIRECTED AT ME, IT BECOMES VERY TIRESOME VERY QUICKLY, FRANKLY QUITE DISRESPECTFUL. MEANING A HAPLESS HOPELESS UNSKILLED PERSON DIRECT THE TRAFFIC OF A RELATIONSHIP, A BUSINESS, ANY SITUATION REALLY. WHEN I SAY TRAFFIC, I DO NOT MEAN CARS, I MEAN THE DAY TO DAY COMINGS AND GOINGS, DECISIONS, MORALS , PRIORITIES ETC.

LIKELY REFERRING TO MADAM INSISTING SHE IS RIGHT, AS THE NARCISSIST SHE IS, DESPITE LEGAL ADVICE TO THE CONTRARY. HER REPRESENTATIVES PUT ON A BRAVE FACE ALL WHILST KNOWING THEY HAVE NOT A SNOWBALLS CHANCE IN HELL OF WINNING. TODAYS COURT DECISION BORE THAT OUT.

HER REPRESENTATIVES IN COURT KNOW FULL WELL SHE WILL PAY NO HEED TO THEIR ADVICE, SHE WILL, LIKE A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP BARREL HER WAY THROUGH . THEY WANT RID OF HER I AM CERTAIN. THEY MUST KNOW BY NOW THEY WILL NEVER BE PAID. WHAT A STAIN ON THEIR CAREERS PROFESSIONALLY.

🎼 all the clubs have been closed down 🎼…………

THESE LYRICS ARE FROM A SONG BY THE BRITISH BAND, THE SPECIALS BACK IN 1981, THE YEAR OF THE ROYAL WEDDING OF ALL TIME. THE SONG IS ENTITLED GHOSTTOWN. THIS IS A DIRECT REFERENCE TO OUR CURRENT WORLD. THE CORONAVIRUS STRAIN COVID-19 HAS SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN, EXCEPT HOSPITALS, GROCERS, PHARMACIES AND LIQUOR STORES. WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED UNPRECEDENTED EXPERIENCES THE MODERN WORLD NEVER HAS. THE LAST PANDEMIC WAS IN 1918, INFLUENZA, MILLIONS DIED. THIS IS THE FIRST MODERN TIMES PANDEMIC.

IT HAS COMPELLED MANY, GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE AND RE-EXAMINE YOUR PRIORITIES MOMENTS. PEOPLE ARE BACK TO COOKING, BAKING, KNITTING, CRAFTING, PLAYING BOARDS GAMES, FAMILIES HAVING MEALS TOGETHER, WORKING FROM HOME. I DO THINK THE WORLD THAT EMERGES FROM THIS WILL BE ONE WITH INFINITE POSSIBILITIES. AND SO VERY MUCH GRIEF. OUR LITTLE BIG COUNTRY HAS HAD SO MUCH TRAUMA IN A SHORT TIME, COVID 19, MANY DEATHS, THE MASSACRE IN NOVA SCOTIA, FORT MCMURRAY FLOODED AFTER BEING BURNED DOWN BY FOREST FIRES A FEW YEARS AGO. WILLIAM AND CATHERINE ALTERED THEIR DIARY WHILST THEY WERE HERE SO THEY COULD GO TO FORT MCMURRAY AND VISIT TO SUPPORT THE PEOPLE. NOW THIS HELICOPTER CRASH, ALL SIX LOST. THIS SHIP WAS BASED IN. NOVA SCOTIA. LOTS OF PRAYERS NEEDED. SORRY I DIGRESSED BUT IT SPEAKS TO THE CHANGED WORLD WE NOW LIVE IN.

“ if you both don’t stop fighting I’ll send you to Madagascar “ …………

THATS A GREAT DISNEY FILM. I THINK MANY PARENTS HAVE REACHED THIS POINT BY NOW. I THINK OUR GEORGE AND OUR CHARLOTTE MAY HAVE BEEN BICKERING AND THE THREAT WAS UTTERED, I SHALL NOT GIVE MY OPINION WHO UTTERED THE THREAT🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

“ one makes ones bed”……………

THE SAYING IS, YOU MADE YOUR BED, NOW LIE IN IT. MEANING YOU HAVE MADE CHOICES, NOW LIVE WITH THE REPERCUSSIONS. THIS IS DEFINITELY MADAM, HER LAWSUIT.

SOME WOULD SAY, NO ITS HARRY, HE MARRIED HER, LEFT FOR AMERICA, LET HIM LIE IN THAT SOILED BED.

HOWEVER, AS EVERYONE KNOWS BY NOW, I DO NOT EVEN REMOTELY BELIEVE THAT.

MADAM AND HER ENTIRE CLAN HAS MADE GRIFTING THEIR LIFE. MADAM HAS ADDED MUCH MORE WHICH I DO NOT WANT TO REPEAT YET AGAIN. SCRIPTURE SAYS YE REAP WHAT YE SEW OR IS IT SOW….NOT SURE .

“ well wash your bloody hands AGAIN!!”……………

HRH HIMSELF 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂I TRULY THINK HE IS ENJOYING TAKING THE P*** OUT OF SYDNEY OVER AND OVER. SYDNEY HAS BEEN HIS MAN FOR SO LONG HE HAS PROBABLY HAS CHUCKLED OVER IT. WHEN I SAY HIS MAN, IT GIVES AWAY MY AGE, HIS VALET AND THEN SOME, KEEPER OF SECRETS. ETC.

“ there so funny on screen Philip” ……

I THINK HMTQ AND HRH HIMSELF MAY BE FACETIMING OR ZOOMING OR WHATEVER, THE CAMBRIDGES AND VERY MUCH ENJOYING THE CHILDREN’S ANTICS. I LOVED THE THREE CLAPPING FOR THE NHS AND THEN LAST WEEK THE WHOLE FAMILY IN NHS BLUE, OUTSIDE ANMER HALL CLAPPING. MARVELLOUS, JUST MARVELLOUS.

Quo victuals est super eam et irrumabo ……………

MY MY MY MM ANON, I AM BLUSHING☺️☺️☺️☺️. THE WIRD IRRUMABO WOWZA MM ANON, I BLUSH…..WOWZA…..LOOK IT UP KIDS, IF YOU DARE😁😁😁😁. HAVE YOU KIDS EVER HEARD OF THE LATIN POEM, (NOT LATIN AS SPAIN , BUT LATIN AS CENTURIES AGO)SO RAUNCHY, SEXUAL, FILTHY IT WAS NOT TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH UNTIL THE 20TH CENTURY? WE DO KNOW, SEXUAL APPETITES AND CERTAIN PROCLIVITIES WERE WIDELY ENJOYED, OPENLY. THIS CLEARLY IS A REFERRAL TO MADAMS PREVIOUS LIFE IN THE YACHTING BUSINESS.POSSIBLE VIDEOS OF A CERTAIN UNCOUTH NATURE WHICH GIVES THE TERM POTTY MOUTH A WHOLE NEW MEANING. ARE WE CLOSE TO HAVING THIS FILTH MADE PUBLIC? WE HAVE ALL WAITED SOOOOOO LONG FOR THE DM TO UNLOAD THAT MILLION DOLLAR DOSSIER!!

next slide please.

IN THE OLDEN DAYS, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, OUR FAMILY USED TO WATCH SLIDES OF OUR VACATIONS, FISHING TRIPS ETC AND LAUGH AT OUR CLOTHES HAIR. FOR YOU KIDS WHO DO NOT KNOW SLIDES, IT WAS A METAPL RING ABOUT EIGHT INCHES ACROSS WITH LITTLE SLOTS WHEREIN A OHOTO IN A SMALL METAL HOLDER AND USING. A SCREEN THE IMAGES WOULD BE PROJECTED. I CAN STILL SMELL HOW THE SLIDE MACHINE SMELLED WHEN IT WARMED UP.

IN UNI, WHEN THE PROFESSOR GAVE PRESENTATIONS, THEY USED THAT SYSTEM TOO. AS THE LECTURE WENT AND PROGRESSED, HE WOULD SAY, NEXT SLIDE PLEASE SO THE NEXT ITEM FOR DISCUSSION COULD BE VIEWED AND NOTES TAKEN.

SORRY FOR THIS LONG WINDED EXPLANATION, BUT KIDS YOU KNOW THAT IS HOW I ROLL.😂😂😂😂🤣🤣.

SO I THINK THIS COULD BE REFERENCING CURRENT COURT PROCEDURES WITH THE MOS LAWSUIT. HOWEVER, GIVEN THE CLUE JUST BEFORE THIS ONE, I WONDER IF LG AND THEY GREY SUITED MEN HAVE PREPARED THEIR CASE AND HAVE THE PRESENTATION READY.

1425 hrs CST. GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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4. May 2

MM ANON ……… bless all who come here……… stay safe ……… not sneezing season ……… birthday girls world following ……… sitting on the toilet screaming and howling ……… Plasma fantazma?……… 🎼give a little bit 🎼……… “ I swear ,I’ll send you to bloody Madagascar “……… “another top up sir”………” leave the poor man be Philip “……… “no ma’am not yet” ……… Wilfred!!!!!………… “ Bloody Wilfred!!”……… conspirators will spread another sort of virus.

MAY 2/2020

SEASON TWO RIDDLE #4

1545 HRS CST

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊THANK YOU DEAREST MM ANON😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT…..A VERY VERY HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO OUR BELOVED ANGEL, HRH PRINCESS CHARLOTTE….LOTS OF LOVE💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊😊🌈🌈🌈💐💐💐🎂🎂🎂🍰🍰🍰🧁🧁🧁🎁🎁🎁🎉🎉🎉🎈🎈🎈🎀🎀🎀🛍🛍🛍

bless all who come here………

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BOOKS OF THE HOLY BIBLE KJV, I POSTED DEUTERONOMY 31:6 ON MY BLOG THE OTHER DAY, MIGHT HAVE BEEN 🐼BLOG. MY HEAD IS NOT ITSELF TODAY SO FORGIVE THINGS THAT ARE SPELLT INCORRECTLY OR SENTENCES NOT COHESIVE.

SO I PREFER THE KJV, KING JAMES VERSION OF THE HOLY BIBLE. THIS PHRASE IN SEVERAL FORMS AND SENTENCE STRUCTURES IS INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE.

6Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out.

FROM DEUTERONOMY, THIS CHAPER FOCUSES ON OBEDIENCES, GODS PROMISES ETC AND CONSEQUENCES FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT CONDUCT THEMSELVES ACCORDINGLY.

THIS PHRASE COULD BE USED IN ANY SPIRITUAL SETTING OR FRIENDS GATHERING.

I THINK THIS IS MEANING ALL WHO HAVE STEPPED UP TO HELP DURING THIS TIME, ESPECIALLY IN HEALTH CARE SETTINGS WILL RECEIVE ABUNDANCE OF BLESSINGS. BLESSINGS AND NOT ALWAYS TANGIBLE, SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS ARE TREMENDOUS.

I ALSO 110% BELIEVE THAT DEAR MM ANON, IS REFERRING TO OUR BELOVED 🐼 AND HER BLOG. BECAUSE ALL WHO COME HERE ARE TRULY BLESSED, IN SO MANY WAYS💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜🌈🌈

stay safe ………

WE MUST CONTINUE TO FOLLOW OUR GOVERNMENTS GUIDELINES IN REGARDS TO THE CORONAVIRUS STRAIN OF COVID-19. IT IS ESSENTIAL AS PLACES ARE SLOWLY OPENING UP THAT PHYSICAL DISTANCING AND ESPECIALLY PROPER TECHNIQUE HAND WASHING FREQUENTLY CONTINUE.

THIS IS ALSO REGARDING MADAM AND HER NARCISSISTIC HATE FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE. I AM QUITE CERTAIN EVERYONE IS SAFE AND VERY WELL PROTECTED INDEED.

not sneezing season ………

ALLERGY SEASON IS SHORTLY TO COME WHERE I LIVE. I DO BELIEVE IT IS ALREADY OCCURRING IN SOME COUNTRIES. ONE DOES NOT WANT TO SNIFFLE OR SNEEZE BECAUSE THAT IS A SYMPTOM OF COVID-19 IN SOME PEOPLE.WHEN IT MIGHT BE SIMPLE ALLERGIES. I THINK PEOPLE WHO STRUGGLE WITH SEASONAL ALLERGIES WILL BE FEARFUL IT IS MORE THAN JUST THEIR USUAL ALLERGIES. THIS IS SUCH A CHALLENGING TIME IS IT NOT.

birthday girls world following ………

AS OUR DEAR CHARLOTTE TRENDED WORLDWIDE FOR HER HAIR FLIPPING ON HER FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL LAST FALL, THESE ABSOLUTELY STUNNING PHOTOGRAPHS, TAKEN BY CATHERINE ARE GOING TO BREAK TRENDING RECORDS. I LOVE THE FACT THEY ARE NOT JUST PHOTOS FOR PHOTOS SAKE, SHE IS GIVING AND SERVING. MY GOODNESS WHAT A WONDERFUL FAMILY.

sitting on the toilet, screaming and howling ………

THIS GOES TO THE SCREAMING BANSHEE, SEAHAG, I USED THAT WORD YESTERDAY I THINK, IT IS SO FITTING FOR THIS FORMER YACHTGIRL AND SELLER OF ALL THINGS. SHE LOST BADLY IN THE COURT HEARING YESTERDAY, RELEASED A BOGUS STATEMENT TODAY, I JUST STARTED READING IT AND SCOOBY DOOS TWEETS,GOOD GRACIOUS. BADLY BRUISED NARCISSIST EGO. AS WE ALL KNEW AND EXPECTED, PHOTOS OF CHARLOTTE WOULD BE RELEASED BY KP, THE WORLD WOULD BE JUST ABSOLUTELY GOING GAGA OVER THEM. TWO PUNCHES, SO TO SPEAK, IN TWO DAYS.😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 LOTS OF PINK WATER AND HOBBIES AND A SCREAMING BANSHEE COMPLETELY HATING A CHILD, SHE IS

I BELIEVE THE TOILET PART IS OVERUSE OF LAXATIVES, COMMON IN BULIMIC FOR WEIGHT LOSS OF UNHEALTHY WAYS. BUT THEN AGAIN, I AM NOT AWARE OF ANYTHING THAT MADAM DOES IS HEALTHY, MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY OR SPIRITUALLY. SO PATHETIC.

Plasma fantazma?………

MM ANON, I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT FANTAZMA BUT I KNOW THE MEDICAL PEOPLE ARE TAKING PLASMA FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE FULLY RECOVERED FROM COVID-19 AND GIVING IT TO PEOPLE ILL WITH IT. TRYING TO ASSES HOW AND IF THE ANTIBODIES NOW IN THE PLASMA HELP, THEY ARE UNSURE HOW LONG THE ANTIBODIES REMAIN EFFECTIVE. IN SOME CASES FOR OTHER DISEASES YOU HAVE IMMUNITY FOR A LIFETIME. BUT WE STILL KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT THIS CORONA VARIANT CALLED COVID -19. OXFORD HAS A VACCINE IN HUMAN TRIALS ALREADY AND THEY HAVE PARTNERED WITH PHARMACEUTICAL GIANT ASTRA ZENECA WHO IS ALREADY PRODUCING THE VACCINE. THEY HOPE TO HAVE 100,000,000 DOSES READY BY THE END OF THE YEAR. USUALLY IT TAKES YEARS TO DEVELOP A VACCINE BUT I HOPE AND PRAY THIS IS TRULY AN EFFECTIVE VACCINE WITH NO HARMFUL SIDE EFFECTS

🎼give a little bit 🎼………

OF YOUR TIME TO ME DUH DUH DA DA…GIVE A LITTLE BIT OF YOUR LOVE TO ME. AHH MM ANON BACK TO SUPERTRAMP, ONE OF YOUR FAVES. I LOVE THIS SONG. ITS ALL ABOUT LOVING AND CARING FOR ONE ANOTHER. THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE SEEN SO MUCH OF DURING THIS PANDEMIC. I COULD TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS MY FRIENDS HAVE DONE FOR ME BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WITHOUT MY HELPER FOR WEEKS. WE SEE PHOTOS OF THE YORKS, THE WESSEXES, CHARLOTTE ALL GIVING, HELPING…NOT FOR ANY HEADLINES NO NO NO. GIVING FOR THE REAL REASON OF CHRISTIAN CARING AND LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER. ITS SO MARVELLOUS TO SEE. LIKE I SAID THE OTHER DAY, THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY BLESSINGS DURING THIS PANDEMIC.

“ I swear ,I’ll send you to bloody Madagascar “……… “

OK, I GIVE IN, THE OTHER DAY I SAID I WOULD NOT SAY WHO IS SAYING THIS BUT ITS WILLIAM. THE CHILDREN ARE AT IT AGAIN, AND HE HAS LOST HIS PATIENCE🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. LIKE MANY MILLIONS OF PARENTS.

“another top up sir”………” leave the poor man be Philip “……… “

AAAHHH HERE WE ARE, BACK IN THE SITTING ROOM, TV IS ON, BBC OF COURSE TO WATCH THE DAYS NEWS. WHAT A MARVELLOUS ISOLATION YOUR MAJESTY. HRH HIMSELF IS STILL IN A FEISTY MOOD AND AS I SAID THE OTHER DAY, HE IS TAKING THE P***OUT OF DEAR LOYAL SYDNEY😂😂😂😂🤣🤣. I WONDER IF HIMSELF IS WANTING BACK AT WOOD FARM, WITH HIS HORSES ETC. BUT MY WHAT MARVELLOUS TIME FOR THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER. HIMSELF IS BEING OFFERED ANOTHER BODDINGTONS BY SYDNEY, HMTQ IS SCOLDING HIM FOR HAVING A GO, YET AGAIN, AT POOR SYDNEY. AS SHE SIPS HER GIN AND DUBONNET. SHE IS QUIET AND LOOKING AT HER HUSBAND, MANY MEMORIES FLOODING THROUGH HER MIND. FEW TEARS, BARELY TEARS, BUT GRATITUDE FOR THIS PRECIOUS TIME TOGETHER. ANOTHER SIP AND ITS BACK TO THE NEWS.

“no ma’am not yet” ………

HMTQ IS AWAITING WORD ON SOMETHING AND IT IS NOT THERE YET. THERE ARE A MYRIAD OF THINGS SHE MIGHT BE WAITING ON. SHE WOULD BE PRIVY TO ALL THE LOCKDOWN ISSUES SO IT IS NOT ANYTHING RELATED TO THE PANDEMIC I DO NOT THINK. THIS JUST MAKES ME THINK OF HARRY, BUT WHY I DO NOT KNOW. SHE IS WAITING FOR WORD ON SOMETHING REGARDING THE END OF DEALING WITH MADAM. KIDS I JUST DO NOT KNOW. IT MIGHT BECOME PATENTLY OBVIOUS ONCE I SUBMIT MY INTERPRETATION BUT RIGHT NOW I JUST DO NOT KNOW FOR CERTAIN.

Wilfred!!!!!………… “ Bloody Wilfred!!”……… conspirators will spread another sort of virus.

THERE ARE ALWAYS CONSPIRACY THEORIES SNOUT BIG AND SMALL THINGS. THERE IS A GROUNDSWELL THAT THIS WAS PURPOSELY RELEASED, DEVELOPED AS A WEAPON OF WAR AND MANY OF THINGS. I DO NOT HANG OUT ON 4CHAN OR 8CHAN. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, THEY ARE THE DARK WEN, WHERE YOU CAN GET OR DO ANYTHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING. DO NOT EVER EVER EVER GO THERE!!!

I BELIEVE THIS IS HRH THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH SPEAKING, THE BIRUS HE IS REFERRING TO IS THE CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND HOW THEY SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE. ITS LIKE GOSSIP, WE ALL KNOW HOW QUICKLY THINGS SPREAD.

WE DO NOT NEED CONSPIRACY THEORIES. WE JUST NEED TO BELIEVE WHAT OUR GOVERNMENTS TELL US.

I WONDER IF THIS IS A CHAP HIMSELF KNOW WHO SPREADS OR ENJOYS OR BELIEVES IN CONSPIRACY THEORIES. FOR SOME REASON, THE NAME WILFRED MAKES ME THINK OF A CHAUFFEUR OR DRIVER, I TRULY DO NOT KNOW FOR CERTAIN.

OF INTEREST, AND I HIGHLY DOUBT IF THIS IS THE WILFRED HIMSELF IS REFERRING TO, BUT THERE WAS A WILFRED BOWES, OBE(19 FEBRUARY 1994-6 JUNE1970) HE WAS A RAF SERVICE POLICE DETECTIVE WHO RAN THE SPECIAL BRANCH, SIB, IN 1944. IF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN THE FANTASTIC FILM, THE GREAT ESCAPE, HE HEADED THE INQUIRY INTO THE MURDERS OF THE OFFICERS THAT WERE RECAPTURED BY THE NAZIS AND RETURNED BACK TO THE POW CAMP.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

————

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊PG ADDS TO MM ANON😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊 HI KIDS, I HAVE BEEN THINKING AND THINKING. THE COMMENT ABOUT SENDING YOU TO BLOODY MADAGASCAR WOULD NEVER EVER HAVE BEEN SAID BY WILLIAM TO HIS CHILDREN. I THINK THAT CLUE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER WITH HRH HIMSELF HARASSING DEAR SYDNEY. THIS IS PARTLY WHY HMTQ SAID TO STOP IT. I JUST HAD TO CLARIFY BECAUSE WILLIAM WOULD NEVER SAY THAT TO HIS CHILDREN NEVER!!

WILFRED BLOODY WILFRED

HRH HIMSELF HAVING A GO AT THE PM AND HIS PARTNERS NEWBORN SONS NAME.

THE CONSPIRACY CLUE WHICH I INTERPRETED SHOULD HAVE BEEN SEPARATE BUT I STAND BY MY INTERPRETATION OF THAT.

SORRY KIDS, JUST TOO TIRED TODAY. BUT I HAD TO COME BACK AND CLARIFY THESE THINGS, THEY WERE BOTHERING ME GREATLY ESPECIALLY ME SAYING WILLIAM WOULD SPEAK THAT WAY TO HIS CHILDREN.

I BEG FORGIVENESS, FOR THIS, SPELLING ERRORS AND JUST NOT UP TO PAR TODAY.

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻TO NYC ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

I HOPE YOU SAW THE PRAYER POST I DID FOR YOU A FEW DAYS BACK. THANK YOU FOR UPDATING US. YOU ARE VERY MUCH IN OUR PRAYERS.

REGARDING INSOMNIA….I LIKE TO WATCH THE SHOPPING CHANNEL, OR I DO EASY CROSSWORD PUZZLES ONLINE. THEY ARE EASY SO IT DOESN’T REQUIRE A LOT OF EFFORT. JUST GOOGLE FREE ONLINE EASY CROSSWORDS. TAKE CARE AND LOTS OF PRAYERS FOR YOU

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊PG😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊😊TO LEGAL ANON😊😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CLARIFYING. I KNOW IN MY PROFESSION SO MUCH DOCUMENTATION. EVERY SINGLE PILL I GAVE, INJECTION I GAVE ALL HAD TO BE SIGNED FOR, SOMETIMES TWICE IF IT WAS A CONTROLLED DRUG. THEN IF IT WAS PRN, OR AS NEEDED, ONE HAD TO WRITE IN THE CHART WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY , BEHAVIOUR, SIDE EFFECTS GOOD OR BAD. LOTS AND LOTS OF COPIOUS DOCUMENTATION. IF POLICE WERE NEEDED THERE WAS A WHOLE PROTOCOL OF PAPERWORK ETC ETC ETC SO I FULLY GET WHAT YOU MEAN. TAKE CARE AND PLEASE KEEP COMING BACK TO HELP US UNDERSTAND THIS LEGAL QUAGMIRE.

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊😊DEAR DEAR DEAR 🐼😊😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR PROVIDING A SAFE PLACE TO COME, ANYTIME, WHERE ONE IS LOVED AND ACCEPTED AND PRAYED FOR WITHOUT ANY QUESTION. THIS IS SUCH A GODSEND TO ME. I WAS ISOLATED BEFORE ISOLATION WAS COOL😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣. BAD ATTEMPT AT HUMOUR. YOU WILL NEVER TRULY KNOW THE DEPTH OF MY LOVE AND APPRECIATION. THE FRIENDS I HAVE MADE HERE ARE JUST MARVELLOUS. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS, YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND YOUR CARING.

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊PG😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

—————

5. May 3

MM ANON ………Lucrezia Markle……… For her own well-being … she’s kicking and sedated ……… safety net for Harry ……… a very private LOCK-down ………” GATEWAY“intervention …… “NHS Catherine , Sterling work darling “ …………” yes ,I love Frozen 2” ………… PTA……… “ your experience would be valued ma’am”……… “ I myself am best when least in company “……… absque misericordia

MAY 3/2020

SEASON TWO:THE RETURN OF MM ANON RIDDLE #5

1520 HRS CST

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😊😊THANK YOU MM ANON😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

Lucrezia Markle……

THE BORGIAS, LUCREZIA BORGIAS MY WHAT A WOMAN SHE WAS. KIDS THIS GOES WAY WAY BACK, THE LATE 1400’S ITALY. A NOBLEWOMAN, A POWERFUL WOMAN. MANY MARRIAGES. THE BORGIAS FAMILY WERE WIDELY GOSSIPED ABOUT, THEN AND NOW. SO MANY RUMOURS OF FOULEST OF BEHAVIOUR, MANIPULATION, USE OF POISONS, INCEST, MURDER, THE WHOLE GAMUT.

WE HAVE ALL LONG SUSPECTED EACH FAMILY MEMBER OF THE MARKLE FAMILY IS PART OF THIS WHOLE MESS. MADAM AS LUCREZIA, SELF ABSORBED BUT NOWHERE ANYWHERE NEAR THE DESCRIPTIONS OF HER BEAUTY. IN THAT REGARD, MADAM IN NO LUCREZIA BORGIA. BUT IN RUTHLESSNESS AND DOING ANYTHING FOR SELF AND FOR POWER? OH YOU BET SHE IS!!

For her own well-being … she’s kicking and sedated ………

SO MADAM HAS FULLY LOST THE PLOT AND IS BACK IN LOCKDOWN, FOR HER OWN SAFETY AND WELL BEING OF OTHERS. MENTAL HEALTH LOCKDOWN NOT PANDEMIC. OBVIOUSLY SHE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING AFTER THE HEARING AND THE PHOTOS, PERHAPS SELF HARM ATTEMPT? OVERDOSE ON HOBBIES? NARCISSISTS ARE KNOWN TO TRY BUT GENERALLY IN MY EXPERIENCE, NOT ENOUGH TO SUCCEED. SO SHE HAS BEEN SEDATED BUT STILL FIGHTING RULES.

safety net for Harry ………

THE SAFETY NET FOR HARRY IS THE YEAR REVIEW PROCESS AFTER THEY ALLEGEDLY LEFT THE ROYAL FAMILY. WE ALL KNOW HE HAS NEVER LEFT HIS FAMILY AND HAS ABSOLUTELY NOT LEFT THE U.K. TO BE WITH MADAM. HE MIGHT HAVE LEFT TO INVESTIGATE BUT NOTHING TO BEING WITH HER.

ALSO IF HE DOES SPEAK TO HER AND HE CAN GET SOME SORT OF CONFESSION THAT WOULD BE MORE THAN A SAFETY NET FOR SURE.

a very private LOCK-down ………”

SO MADAM IS IN A VERY EXCLUSIVE PRIVATE FACILITY. I WONDER IF IT IS THE SAME FACILITY SHE HAS BEEN IN BEFORE?

LOCK MAKES ME THINK OF LOCH, LAKE IN SCOTTISH WORDING.I TRULY WONDER IF HARRY HAS BEEN AT BALMORAL IN SCOTLAND. THAT WOULD PROVIDE HIM THE MOST ABSOLUTE PRIVACY. ALSO VERY NEAR HIS FATHER AND CAMILLA. SURELY WOULD GIVE HIM PLENTY OF OUTDOOR TIME HUNTING, RUNNING ETC. MOST OF ALL, NO MADAM!!

GATEWAY“intervention ……

THIS IS A VERY WELL KNOWN AND RENOWNED SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREATMENT FACILITY, OR CORPORATION OF FACILITIES. I WONDER, YET AGAIN, IF HARRY NEEDED SUBSTANCES TO COPE AND HE REQUIRED A FAMILY INTERVENTION TO GET HELP. THERE ARE FACILITIES IN CALGARY. HE MAY HAVE SPENT TIME THERE. THERE WERE RUMOURS OF HIM BEING HERE, AS IN 🇨🇦, WITH HIS RPO’S, BUT THAT WAS SAID TO BE HIM DOING SOME OF HIS OWN INVESTIGATIONS OF MADAM. THIS IS WHERE GOSSIP IS A BAD THING.

“NHS Catherine , Sterling work darling “ …………”

CATHERINE HAS BEEN WORKING WITH MIDWIVES AND WOMENS HEALTH FOR YEARS NOW. REMEMBER AFTER SHE HAD CHARLOTTE, SHE WAS ATTENDING A DAY SEMINAR, THE MIDWIVES WHO HAD BEEN THERE WITH HER DURING THE DELIVERY WAS THERE AND SHE HUGGED THEM SO MUCH. IT WAS LOVELY. EARLIER LAST WEEK I DO KNOW SHE HELD A ZOOM OR FACETIME MEETING DISCUSSING HOW THEY WERE MANAGING WITH THE PANDEMIC AND IN THEIR WORK. SHE IS SO AWESOME, STERLING FOR SURE, I THINK PLATINUM.💜💜💜

yes ,I love Frozen 2” …………

AH YES OUR CAMBRIDGE PRINCESS LOVES FROZEN 2 AND 1 AND LIKELY HAS WATCHED THEM OODLES OF TIMES. I WONDER IF THIS IS FACETIME WITH GAN GAN WHO CONCURS THAT SHE LOVES IT TOO.

PTA………

IN CANADA, THIS MEANS PARENT TEACHERS ASSOCIATION. IS THIS REFERRING TO ALL THE PARENTS HELPING TEACH THEIR CHILDREN OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS?

ALSO MADE ME THINK OF PDA AND MADAMS CONSTANT 🦞 CLAWS GRIPPING OUR HARRY.

“ your experience would be valued ma’am”………

SO, SOMEONE SEEKING HMTQ ADVICE, INPUT BASED ON HER EXPERIENCE. WHAT ISSUE MIGHT THIS BE? KNOWING WHEN TO GO PUBLIC AND GIVE THE FINAL OK FOR THE PRESS TO RELEASE ALL THEY HAVE ON MADAM. OR IF HARRY SHOULD ATTEMPT TO GET INFORMATION FROM MADAM NOW BY MANIPULATING HER FEELINGS?

“ I myself am best when least in company “………

AGAIN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE AS THE BARD, SHAKESPEARE, THIS TIME TWELFTH NIGHT. THIS IS A VERY INTERESTING PORTION OF THE PLAY. A WOMAN HAS GONE MAD, IS LOCKED UP, THE MEN ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BEST DEAL WITH HER, WITH FOUR OR FIVE MEN OR JUST ONE. VIOLA IS THE WOMAN. ORSINO IS THE MALE WHO SAYS HE CAN DO THIS TASK BEST ALONE. USING MANIPULATION, TELLING HER HOW HE LOVES HER, THEIR TIMES SPENT TOGETHER TO GATHER THE INFORMATION NEEDED.

THIS IS FASCINATING. THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW. HARRY IS STRONG AND SHE IS BROKEN, TRYING TO GET A RECORDED CONFESSION WHILE HE PLIES HER WITH HIS LOVE FOR HER. THIS TRULY IS A TRAGEDY OF SHAKESPEAREAN LEVELS. WOWZA KIDS!!

absque misericordia

I KNOW A HOSPITAL CALLED MISERICORDIA, MERCY HOSPITAL. HERE WE HAVE ABSQUE OR ABSENCE. ABSENCE OF MERCY, RUTHLESS JUSTICE. THIS AWAITS MADAM ⚖️, SHE HAS DONE THIS ALL TO HERSELF. SHE HAS PLAYED EVERY BIT THE MATA HARI. SELF SELF, LIES, MANIPULATION, AND ON AND ON. SO POSSESSED OF A JEALOUSY , HATRED AND REVENGE UPON CERTAIN PEOPLE WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE. I DO NOT WISH TO MENTION THEIR NANES AGAIN, BAD KARMA. SHE SET THIS LAWSUIT IN MOTION. THE SNOW BALL IS ROLLING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN NOW, GATHERING STEAM, GETTING LARGER AND THERE IS NO STOPPING IT NOW. YE REAP WHAT YE SEW. LEAVE HER TO JUSTICE AND GOD.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

—————-

6. May 5

MM ANON …… granny flap…… delusions of gran-tour…… “ aye, some wantid er’ but Walt dis-ney “…… a p****hub offer worth millions …… a secret return …… Lottie leaded Cambridge assault ……… “ a very prominent speech for VE DAY ma’am”. …… unlocking the unlock able ………… 🎼day by day…🎼………… pause ,pray, proceed. …… optimistic optimism???

MAY 5/2020

RIDDLE POSTED MAY 4/2020

SEASON TWO THE RETURN OF MM ANON😉

RIDDLE #6

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻😊THANK YOU MM ANON😊🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

0900 hrs CST

SORRY I AM A DAY LATE KIDS.

granny flap……

FLAP IS A INTERESTING WORD, A PURSE CAN HAVE ONE, A FLAG CAN FLAP IN THE WIND, A PERSON WHO IS WOUND UP OR AGITATED CAN BE SAID TO BE IN A FLAP. GRANNY FLAP,WELL DEPENDING ON WHICH GRANNY IS BEING REFERRED TO. I KNOW HMTQ IS REFERRED TO AS GRANNY, SO I SHALL SAY THIS IS HER. I CANNOT SEE HER EVER BEING IN A STATE OF A FLAP SO THAT IS OUT.

delusions of gran-tour……

INTERESTING MADAM, AND BACKWARDS SPELLED SCOOBY AND DURAND ARE ALLEGEDLY WRITING FINDING FREEDOM. I PERSONALLY THINK SHE SHOULD HAVE WAITED UNTIL SHE WAS OUT OF PRISON BEFORE USING THAT TITLE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. SHE IS THINKING THIS WILL BE A WALL STREET JOURNAL BEST SELLER. THE DAYTIME TALK SHOW CIRCUIT HAS ALL BUT DRIED UP BUT I AM CERTAIN IN HER MIND, SHE FULLY BELIEVES EVERYONE WILL BE DYING TO INTERVIEW HER, DOING A GRAND TOUR, LIKE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN MOST MAJOR AUTHORS PUBLISH. HERE WE HAVE GRAN-TOUR. HYPHENATED. WHO IS ARCHIES GRAN? I HAVE NO IDEA BUT MADAM HAS SOLD DORITO AS THE GRANDMOTHER. OH DEARIE ME, PLEASE SAY IT AIN’T SO 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 THE TWO OF THEM, MAKING THE ROUNDS. GOOD GRAVY, SAINTS PRESERVE US. MAYBE A PRIME-TIME OPRAH SPECIAL TELL ALL ON OPRAH’S TV CHANNEL THAT NO ONE WATCHES. DOES SHE STILL EVEN HAVE IT ANYMORE?

“ aye, some wantid er’ but Walt dis-ney “……

NOW THIS REQUIRES THE THICKEST OF SCOTTISH BROGUES TO PULL THIS OFF, WALT DISNAH’🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂. THIS IS WONDERFUL MM ANON, I AM IMMEDIATELY TRANSPORTED TO A PLACE I LOVE, SCOTLAND 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿. THIS IS SAYING DISNEY WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH MADAM. WE ALL SAW THAT BIG ACT HARRY PUT ON, WAS THE THE REASON HE DIDN’T ATTEND THE MILITARY EVENING AND ATTENDED THE LION KING SO HE COULD CONFRONT BOB IGER FACE TO FACE, CAPTURED OF FILM..ACTING ALL INNOCENT BY YAPPING THAT MADAM DOES VOICEOVERS, IGER’S FACE GOES WHITE AS A SHEET KNOWING THE PALACE KNOWS ABOUT HIS SHENANIGANS WITH MADAM, WORK ON THE ELEPHANTS FILM. IGER LEFT DISNAH’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂AKA DISNEY. NOBODY OF ANY REGARD OR ESTEEM REMOTELY WANTS HER. SHE TRULY CARRIES THE MARKLE EFFECT…LTHAT GOES ALONG WITH THE EVIL.

a p****hub offer worth millions ……

AGAIN WE HAVE A GRAPHIC SEX WORD, ALTHOUGH IN MY EXPERIENCE, THAT WORD IS NOT USED IN THE U.K. THERE IT IS CALLED A FANNY OR A WORSE WORD. I LEARNED THAT RATHER QUICKLY WHEN I BROUGHT MY FANNY PACK WITH ME ONE TIME AND MY FRIENDS WERE AGHAST AT THE NAME IF IT. HERE FANNY IS YOUR RUMP BUT NO NO NOT IN THE U.K. ANYHOW THE EVER SPOKEN ABOUT DOSSIER, VIDEO. WILL THE TRUTH AT LAST BE REVEALED. THE DM DOSSIER WAS A MILLION SEVERAL YEARS AGO. HAS IT GONE UP IN PRICE? HOW I WISH THINGS WOULD BE REVEALED BUT THEY WILL BECAUSE SHE STARTED THIS LAWSUIT AND THINGS ARE COMING. ONCE COVID-19 SETTLES BOOM! IN SIMPLE TERMS, THIS IS MADAMS PAY FOR PLAY, “OPEN DOOR POLICY”.

a secret return ……

WILL HARRY RETURN PUBLICLY? HAS HE BEEN AT BALMORAL , CANADA INVESTIGATING OR EVEN HIS BELOVED AFRICA, OR ALL THREE. SECRET MEANS NOT PUBLIC YET, BUT CLOSE? SO WHEREVER HE HAS BEEN, HE WILL RETURN TO LONDON TO BE READY FOR REEMERGENCE.

Lottie leaded Cambridge assault ………

AS IF IT WERE A PLANNED BATTLE, THE PHOTOS OF CHARLOTTE’S FIFTH BIRTHDAY, PORTRAYING HER IN THE ACT OF GIVING IN PHOTOS TAKEN BY CATHERINE ARE STELLAR. UNBEATABLE, NOTHING MADAM COULD RELEASE COULD HAVE KNOCKED THOSE HEADLINES AND TRENDS. I AM 100% CERTAIN SHE SEES IT AS THEM ATTACKING HER AND TAKING PR TIME AWAY FROM HER. SAD LITTLE LIFE, JEALOUS OF A FIVE YEAR OLD.

“ a very prominent speech for VE DAY ma’am”. ……

NOW I NORMALLY NEVER DO THIS, BUT THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT AND I THINK MANY WILL WANT THIS INFORMATION. THE QUOTED PORTIONS ARE FROM TOWN AND COUNTRY MAGAZINE. SO THE BBC WILL HAVE EXTENSIVE PROGRAMMING AND HMTQ SPEECH AND HER MEMORIES WILL FEATURE PROMINENTLY AMONGST IT.

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧”Announcing its coverage plans to mark 75th anniversary of VE Day, the BBC said in a statement: “At the heart of the commemorations will be a special address from HM The Queen broadcast at 9.00pm – the exact time her father spoke to the nation three quarters of a century ago.”

Announcing its coverage plans to mark 75th anniversary of VE Day, the BBC said in a statement: “At the heart of the commemorations will be a special address from HM The Queen broadcast at 9.00pm – the exact time her father spoke to the nation three quarters of a century ago.”

The Queen will have her own memories of that important day. Then 19-year-old Princess Elizabeth, she was allowed to leave the palace along with her sister Margaret to join the crowds outside celebrating.

The Queen’s message on May 8, 2020 will form the centerpiece of the televised musical event VE Day 75: The People’s Celebration, which will begin at 8 p.m. in the UK. The program will culminate with the nation coming together to sing Vera Lynn’s wartime classic We’ll Meet Again, which the Queen referenced in her recent speech reassuring the nation amid the coronavirus crisis.

“At a time when many are looking for unity and hope, the BBC will bring households together to remember the past, pay tribute to the Second World War generation, and honour our heroes both then and now,” the broadcaster’s Director General, Tony Hall, said in a statement. The program will also include memories and photographs from members of the World War II generation.

Additional events throughout the day will include a two minute silence at 11 a.m. and a broadcast of then Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill’s victory speech in the afternoon.”🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

unlocking the unlock able …………

AGAIN, WITH MM ANON, EVERYTHING MEANS SOMETHING. WE HAVE UNLOCK IN DIFFERENT FORMS TWICE. THE SECOND TIME IT IS SEPARATED WITHOUT HYPHEN. SO UNLOCKING OBVIOUSLY MEANS OPENING, LETTING DUST OUT FRESH AIR IN. LETTING FILTH OUT LIES PUT THE FILTH TRUTH AND LIES PUBLIC. UNLOCK ABLE , I READ THIS AS YES, IT CAN UNLOCK AND WE ARE ABLE TO. SO ALL IN ALL THAT DOSSIER IS COMING OUT ALONG WITH VIDEOS AND EVERY OTHER FILTHY MERCHING THING MADAM HAD DONE.

DNA IS OFTEN SAID TO HOLD THE KEY.FROM EYE COLOUR, TO GENETIC DISEASES, ETC ETC. THE KEY TO UNLOCKING DNA IS BOTH BOOKS, TEXTBOOKS , LECTURES ETC ETC. I THINK THIS MOST DEFINITELY REFERRING TO DNA OF ARCHIE NOT EXACTLY COMING OUT, BUT WHAT WILL COME PUT , FINALLY, IS THAT HARRY IS NOT THE FATHER.

🎼day by day…🎼………… pause ,pray, proceed. ……

THE FIRST THING TO MIND IS THE CLASSIC HYMN, DAY BY DAY AND WITH EACH PASSING MOMENT. IT SPEAKS OF THE STRAINS, TOILS, TRAUMAS AND JOYS OF LIFE. NOW I DOUBT THIS IS FAMILIAR TO HMTQ, HOWEVER, THE PHRASE PAUSE, PRAY REPEAT REMINDED ME OF AN EPISODE OF MUDER SHE WROTE WITH MY FAVOURITE ANGLEA LANSBURY WITH A CLUE STITCHED ON AN EMBROIDERED SAMPLER. THE CLUE THERE WAS REFLECT AND PAUSE, OF COURSE SHE FIGURE IT OUT, THE EMBROIDERY WAS TO BE SHOWN TO THE MIRROR, THEN ONE SHOULD PAUSE AS HIDDEN CLUES REVEALED THEMSELVES. SORRY FOR BEING SO ELABORATIVE, AS USUAL FOR ME THOUGH😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣. THESE CLUES TOGETHER TAKE ME TO THE 19TH CENTURY. SAMPLERS WERE HUGE THEN. ANYHOW I THINK WHAT MM ANON IS SAYING IN HER CLUE AND I AM WRITING THE EQUIVALENT OF TOLSTOY IS HMTQ IS A WOMAN WHO HAS A PLETHORA OF LIFE EXPERIENCES, GOOD, BAD AND THE IN BETWEEN. THROUGH OUT ALL OF IT, SHE HAS RELIED ON HER FAITH AND THE GOD GIVEN INHERENT BRILLIANCE SHE HAS TO NAVIGATE THROUGH THEM ALL. SHE ALSO HAS MILLIONS PRAYING FOR HER.

optimistic optimism???

THIS IS ODD REPETITION OF TWO FORMS OF THE SAME WORD WITH THREE QUESTIONS MARKS. EVERYTHING MM ANON WRITES IS THERE FOR A REASON.

IS THIS TELLING US, THOSE WHO HAVE STOOD BY HARRY HAVE OPTIMISM THAT OUR STALWART FAITH AND OPTIMISTIC BELIEFS SHALL SOON BEAR FRUIT??? I MOST CERTAINLY PRAY SO🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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