#yana rants

[yana125]

Today I experienced the... not the worst day of my life at my workplace but I just got a slap from my own limitations and the spiral I can go down so easily because of the most trivial thing, and as a second slap I witnessed how fast it could have been solved and avoided? For short 2,5 years ago I'd been tasked with an important administration thing. I'd known the moment my coworker gave me this task before she left, believing in me that I can do it, that I wouldn't be able to do it. I know myself. But people just... believe that I can do things? And I hadn't wanted to dishearten her or my boss, because I'm also afraid to disappoint the people who I admire and cherish. So with the tightness of anxiety in my chest I'd said yes to this task. And for 1,5 years I could do it. I'd updated this important administration thing, I even had fun annoying my coworkers with me showing up each month. But then last autumn it just... I just couldn't do it anymore. I got frustrated because of the most trivial thing. Each year I had to rewrite this important administration thing into an other important administration thing. Keep the data that stayed for the next year, add the new data as it arrived during the year, repeat next autumn. Each data is seperated by months and if the page is filled I flip the page and continue writing the month there. And what was the most trivial thing? I didn't know how much space I should leave for the data that would arrive during the year. Should I keep one page for the month or two pages? If I leave one page and it fills up where would I write the new ones? If I leave two pages what if no new data would be added to that month? I just wasted a full page in the important administration thing. And I'd started copying the remaining data into the new important administration thing during last autumn but because of this frustration I'd started spiraling down and photocopies of new data were given to me which had frustrated me even more, but I'd been thinking that I would wait until the end of winter when I would get only a few new data so I could count how many pages I would need.

Sike! I'd put the important administration thing into the closet! And what I don't see it doesn't exist! And I'd completely forgotten about it for weeks. Sometimes when I remembered my procrastination kicked in. Then I forgot about it, then procrastination again, then summer break, then BOOM! Full on anxiety! I only had a few weeks to finish! I couldn't finish it in a few weeks! It was too much! Spiraling, spiraling. Then my boss' deputy asked if I wanted to write this important administration thing next year too. And I was like no. No way in hell. This important administration thing appeared in my mind one night when I almost fell asleep and it made me so anxious that I couldn't relax enough to finally fall asleep for an hour. I do not want it. And I gave her this barely written important administration thing with so much shame and self hatred that I can't even tell you... Everyone would be disappointed in me, my boss would be disappointed in me, and as I said I'm afraid to disappoint the people who I admire and cherish, and every time I remembered this important administration thing I couldn't help but imagine how angry they would be. I couldn't even talk to my boss and her deputy for a whole day. Then today the deputy asked me to help her with this important administration thing because she'd never done anything like this before so I went to the office and showed her which data should go where and like.... It was going so fast all of a sudden? There was no problem with my gigantic trivial thing? And nobody was angry at me, they only said with the kindest voice that I should've told them earlier. And I should have buuuuut I'm afraid to disappoint the people who I admire and cherish. My worst enemy is myself. So thank you, no more important administration things, just my own little administration things connected to only my little space in my workplace. My procrastination is still present, but at least I can catch up to myself more easily with that.

[dlldior]

i cannot begin to tell you guys how much i hate this charles grey fucker and his ugly face and ugly hair someone fire his barber. why is he always here. can he fuck off for once with his annoying ass chipmunk voice and his annoying ass chipmunk face.

[icantdothistodaybruh]

just watched the first episode what the fuck I have so many questions

If you liked the episode pls don't read underline I don't want to ruin your day with my negativity

why the hell ending looks better then the rest of the episode??? I love it and all, they floating in the sky romantically and it's cute blablabla but why here they look decent and the whole ass episode they look like yassified versions of themselves who decided on that😭😭😭😭 the lashes are killing me the most I think I cannot look at them in close ups for the life of me they remind me of a fucking metalic shifer roofs

the opening I don't even want to talk about bro just wtf happend when they were making it. did ten different people with no idea of what kuro is about were pushed in a room and each made a part for a youtube mep? who was supervising stylistic choices?? was they ever even there????

I can tell that money was not the problem, in a sense that nothing about the episode looks cheap, there were no problems with the budget... so where so many poor artistic choices came from? There is nothing dark, gothic, mysterious or victorian left. And looking back at the opening for all I know I could be just watching some fantasy avatar anime with no clear identety. One episode is not much to judge by, but still is it even black butler anymore??

thank you for coming to my ted talk, that's all for now, I'll be crying and rewatching first seasons if you need me

[plague-of-insomnia]

I think the worst thing about kuro antis is how much of a disservice they do to Yana.

Acting like she’s a bad storyteller because they don’t like the way she tells her story.

Yana is an incredible storyteller.

She is able to weave together so many threads so there’s always a set up for something and yet she does it in a way that doesn’t distract from the overall story.

Just think about the twin reveal. It was set up as early as the ripper arc I believe and didn’t come out until 100+ chapters later. And yet if you look back you can see all the clues she left.

She carefully chooses how she sets up panels and which POV she uses. She picks her kanji so carefully, often they can be read 3-4 different ways!

To say she’s a bad writer or that she just “accidentally” does things for “fan service” is a slap in the face to the hard work and careful craftsmenship she puts into her work.

If you think she’s such a bad mangaka, if you find her “sexualizing” of characters so repulsive, then why are you in the kuro fandom? Why are you still reading the manga?

I’ve come across plenty of media where I liked the concept but hated the execution. And you know what I did? I stopped reading/watching and moved on. It’s that simple.

[gaystonerdragon]

sometimes i feel like the people reading black butler forget that the whole premise of the narrative is a boy who saw his entire family and household massacred on his birthday is tricked into forming a revenge pact with a demon that was summoned by the cult that killed his brother after abusing the two preteen boys for weeks on end, to bring equal humiliation, pain, and suffering to everyone responsible for the aforementioned horrors committed against him. “its so dark” like yeah… what gave it away? “the subject matter is so heavy” again… what part of the narrative set up made you think it wouldn’t be? like you know how this is ending, right?

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

tomorrow is my first day back to work and I'm a lil nervous

I haven't been able to get anything written for here bc I've been trying to get a couple other things written (updating my Bill Cipher redemption fic and starting a Gyutaro x reader x Daki because I make poor life choices)

but I'm on light duty for a month, basically just sitting at the register checking people out, unable to do any stocking or anything bc I'm not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds so I can't lift totes, bend much, or reach much, so I'm allowed to bring something to do in between customers... maybe I'll get some writing done? I feel as if I'll be slacking off bc that's how my brain works

but you know what, I kill myself for that store normally, I don't work full time simply because I can't afford medical insurance if I did, but even working only part time I give my all while I'm there, I'm not someone who slacks off. so if I'm healthfully and approvedly permitted to slack off and take it easy for a month, I guess I'll take it (... plus, I mean, I'll still be working, just light duty, it's not like I'll show up and get paid to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I'm still gonna be ringing out customers)

ANYWAY MY POINT IS-

get those last requests in! after I get home from work tomorrow, I'll be closing the askbox and won't open it back up till this batch is finished and I swear I mean that this time 😂

[bibyshitsuji24k]

Idols mini saga makes me cringe

[xia0mi-c0m]

when I get more treyrid (whenever that day Yana will hear my prayers), y'all gyatta hold me down in order for me not to go absolutely FERAL.

[nrc-counselor]

Slight Spoiler for Chapter 7!!!!

I am kinda pissed that the one canon fat character in the game we have who is designed as undeniably fat (Azul does not count in this respect) is a heinous, undeniable villain on top of being the one character design that has no aesthetic or redeeming qualities what so ever.

This is something Yana did in Black Butler too, so I am not super surprised, but I am severely disappointed and upset about it. Yuuta may be our last hope for non-stereotypical or bigoted fat rep but honestly, I am not optimistic.

[anewp0tat0]

maybe it's because of the worse image quality, or maybe it's cause Ciel is drawn to be much more ÙwÚ baby nowadays in comparison. but I swear, other than older, he used to look scarier

[warmmilk-n-honey]

I hate sebaciel I hate sebaciel I hate sebaciel

[black-butler-confessions]

Ok ngl this is kinda a vent (you can like still post it tho) some of my friends always bash me about liking grell due to uhh. her. language in the series and i've tried to explain to them to take her character with a grain of salt (name one good trans character written in japan 2008) but they say i can't excuse her character with that and ik i can't excuse her fully but i feel like in some ways she very much is a product of her time and they also just said she was a "living breathing stereotype" but like i feel like she has character that just hasn't been explored. i also don't know why they say this about grell but then they really like the viscount for some reason? i don't know if the latter is ironic or not but one of them who hasnt watched the show yet was saying he might watch just the episodes with viscount in them and im just really confused and sad. am i a bad person for liking grell? is she really that bad? uhhh sorry if this isn't what you wanted in the confession blog im just kinda :( rn.

^

[katenkahaik]

Yeni evlli bir kadın olduğum ve bir yerlere koşuşturmadığım bir günü iple çekiyorum.

Bir yandan da bundan korkuyorum ama hiçbir zaman hazır olacağımı da sanmıyorum.

[roxannepolice]

[pinkyarn]

➳ yana, they/them.

sideblogs:

mainly on @bublegvm (personal stuff / current interest / pink aes), @kodzukags (animanga / books / shows), @8junism (kpop).

[loadsofcats]

Actually realised how often Yana faints in the comics