#yall idk am i the weird one
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[I really can't with this fandom sometimes. Where the hell does the idea that Trunks--especially FUTURE Trunks--is like Vegeta? He's not! And that's a really good thing! Hot take: It's an insult to say TO Future Trunks to say he is anything like Vegeta.]
#.:ooc:.#discourse cw#yall idk am i the weird one#probably but holy shit#that's just a horribly bad fucking take#is there some popular fanon writing of trunks where he is like vegeta#like i guess if you want to say they're both self-deprecating sure#but even that's like...a really different flavor
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old and new [gn/m.reader]
good lord i have been gone for a long time. i am so sorry, i am recovering from bloccus writicus. also i may have been⌠getting in touch with my thirst for strong women. women are so beautiful. i love them. to all my requesters (? how to english), please excuse my tardiness. allow me to rev my engine before delivering them once again. iâm gonna warm up with a few posts (including this). ALSO THIS STORY IS JDIADMC IDK.
𦹠big on genshin lore because i am nerding out, creator reader but not sagau reader, like iâm talking you are a character in the story, ooh look at me diverting from my agenda of overseer reader (i blame skirkâs master).
The mere ability to create is something so vast and so elaborate, placed upon the pedestal for all to see. If one is gifted with the passion and talent to create, they are the envy of all â to craft the most divine pieces, create something so intricate that it is nothing short of impressive.
And through it all, an artist hones oneâs skills until they have reached the peak â until theyâve viewed every perspective, until theyâve used every shade, until theyâve done every stroke, all of it comes down to their prized creation;
Their Magnum Opus.
That⌠was Teyvat to you.
It was your pièce de rÊsistance. If the myriad of heavenly bodies that lay before your trail were thought-provoking and terrifyingly beautiful to a fault, then Teyvat was your inexplicable masterpiece, one that took trial and error as your gentle hands shaped and carved every landscape, as your breath that blew into it became the protecting breeze, and as the tears that you wept from joy became the primordial seas of the world that birthed new life forms that you managed to call a mere happy accident.
It was yours. Many worlds before it were mere prototypes, but something youâve cherished nonetheless. To you, Teyvat was the product that will possibly never get any better and a creation that will never be bested by anything else.
You granted it laws that were akin to the past worlds youâve crafted with your own hands, you gave it life through the creatures that crawled around the earth. It thrived and you gave it autonomy once you thought it could work on its own course with your given gifts to let it thrive.
Teyvat was your cherished creation.
And the same rings true until now upon your quiet descent. Your immaculate robes that were woven with stardusts suddenly turning into a soft silk. You walked the earth in your bare feet, the blades of grass a mere tickle underneath you as you journeyed through the world.
The breeze blew by your hair and you felt the sheer invigoration, forcing a tiny titter out of you. You embraced the fruits of your hard labor, recalling the eons you nearly wept in agony as you continued to sculpt everything down to its tiniest detail.
And out of all of that, you birthed your pride and joy, this world that could never measure up to anything else.
Your eyes which held the countless stars and worlds youâve created soon found itself gazing across the vast lands of this realm of light youâve created, finding the realm of void opposing the one you were on.
Countless times youâve heard your fellow artisans question you for creating such an unconventional place to be. But you sought balance in this perfect world of yours, where every creature can walk on their own respective realms. And if you can create pure beings of light, whoâs to say that you canât create the creatures that lurk within the void?
Your feet pattered against the grass that rustled as you hoped to approach and visit the opposing realm when you felt the ground beneath your rumble and shake. You stilled yourself with ease as you looked over your shoulder.
And your eyes had never known such beauty until now.
For the first time, a creature of divinity such as yourself was gobsmacked at the sight of a huge Vishap that stood before you.
It was a beautiful one â its blue scales that blended with the water from your tears of joy that youâve shed upon your creation, its eyes holding the purest intentions that matched its pure being. You can feel the waters surge within its very form, like a fresh cold spring on a hot summer day.
Your eyes suddenly filled with tears as you felt your heart constrict with so much love as you watched it approach you. You have never seen such beauty that it truly nearly knocked you off your feet. Your chest ached with so much want as you continued to marvel the creature that you only hoped of succeeding in creating several eons ago.
âOh⌠look at youâŚâ
Your voice, honeyed and smooth as a silk, tinkled across the lands â waking up the creations that you gave life to upon your very own creation of Teyvat. Your voice, filled with so much love and tenderness, directed to the Vishap that towered over your tiny mortal form with ease, rang out, as if to call for it to come closer.
And it does.
The earth shakes with every weighted step that it took and you followed, contrasting the loudness with the silence of your own steps. You met it halfway until the very concept of distance no longer exists between you and the Vishap.
ââŚSuch a beautiful one you are,â you whispered, your voice emitting a lilt of care and intense joy that you managed to suppress for a good measure before it overwhelmed you.
You lent a hand and its gaze directs towards it.
The Vishap leans into your touch and you can feel the waves of the primordial sea flow through you. With it, you can feel the joy youâve felt once youâve reached the end of your creation. Youâve felt the nostalgic satisfaction that kept you fulfilled even until now. Youâve felt the overwhelming love and excitement that you had when you took a step back and got a good look on Teyvatâs finality.
âYou, who cradled our lives in your hands,â it spoke with a bellowing voice, making it seem like your own was but a mere squeak. ââŚWhy do you pursue a creation as grand as this?â
You took a second as you pondered its question.
ââŚFor the love in me is much too big not to share.â
âWe have anticipated your descent. Nibelung has prophesied the return of the tearful artisan.â
You felt yourself flush at the title that was given to you unceremoniously, âAre my tears so ineffably embarrassing that I deserve such a name from my beloved creations?â
It huffed at your light jest, âIt is nothing more but a praise. Your tears brought life in this barren world. Your tears gave birth to a new life that not one could hope to achieveâ
âYour tears are my waters, to which I have complete sovereign on. Your tears are my will, to which I am eternally thankful for.â
You felt the inevitable warmth flow through your tiny body from the Vishapâs words alone. While it was satisfying to finish Teyvat on its own, you suddenly found a level beyond that feeling after receiving gratitude from your own creation firsthand. It melted your lonely soul and you couldnât help but feel giddy at the feeling of it alone.
Such a simple gesture it was â to thank you â and yet the feeling it gave transcends every other emotion youâve felt throughout the course of your long and eternal life.
âMay you continue to prosper with the gift Iâve given you.â You blessed it with your small voice, barely above a mere whisper.
Your palm that shaped many worlds emitted the kind of warmth from a starting kiln and the Vishap relished in the feeling, a pleased growl echoing through the empty vast land of the light realm.
âThe life that I owe to you will be cherished and used to its fullest. And should I perish, I will return with memories of you, no matter how faint.â It promised in one breath.
Your silken robes billowed against the breeze that blew by again. You can only feel your thoughts and feelings mingle with the Vishapâs. For once, you are able to see how it and its fellow Vishaps came to be, how each of them walked through the light realm and claimed its own homes where they ruled with incredible prosperity and indomitable ambition.
You were able to appreciate the further creation of life on this world that you deemed perfect, and was able to see how it went when you slept to rest for a good few centuries.
It was a feeling so invigorating, that you could feel your heart swell with so much love and pride for these dragons that walked the haven youâve created. It mattered not to you how they came to be, only that they were able to live in peace and free from cumbersome bothers. It eased your heart, knowing that they are able to propagate their kind with so much freedom under the autonomous law that you gave to Teyvat.
You were feeling genuine satisfaction.
And it feels your jovial heart, with the way it continued to nestle its luminous scaled body into your touch.
âProtect this world with all your might. And you⌠you that holds my tears, will be given the authority to bring judgment of all life that makes a home on this world for centuries to come.â
Among the array of emotions that flowed through you, you felt its grateful pride surge through you.
A draconic pride that will leave its mark on you.
You had hoped it was a bad dream â a childish nightmare, no matter how unheard of it was among the divinity like you.
You hoped that the constriction in your loving heart was a jest in poor taste, that it was just a passing act of scare that you will laugh at. But as your eyes gazed at your magnum opus, your heart nearly shattered into a million little pieces.
The waters that were intimately connected to your essence, your very being, was tainted with anguish and anger. You can feel the hardships that started to brew from a few tiny nicks of pain in your heart. Teyvat was quite literally anchored to you through the primordial waters that flowed through it.
And as it continued to suffer contamination from something foreign, your heart further corroded into something that inflicted pain. You can feel the blood that soaked into the waters cry for desperation, you can feel the way it boiled with so much thirst for vengeance against whatever caused the first tragedy on Teyvat in the first place.
You placed full faith on the seven sovereigns, you had given them blessings that will aid them to guard your precious creation, but you could feel the tinge of betrayal flow through your veins when you threw a quick glance and saw Nibelung seeking something far more dangerous to defend their realm.
Something not from Teyvat. Something you know the laws that you placed which granted autonomy would reject and inflict sorrow upon those that were affected by it.
You fell into a state of unrest, pained with the grief of betrayal and longing for those that fought to protect your very own creation. A part of your mind condemns you for placing such a burden on your creations that cannot be better than outworld creatures that transcend them. But another part of you screams genuine belief to those you have tasked, that they will prevail and honor your simple wish.
Normally a couple of decades was nothing to you â as it could pass as quick as a mere minute, but to experience excruciating pain that throbbed like a vile tumor on your heavenly being was not something to sneeze at. Your heart ached for so many decades as you watched the sovereigns fall before those that intruded in your lovely creation.
And as it stole the authorities of the sovereigns, like a widow bereft its lover, you were forced into a state of slumber, lasting for centuries to come.
The new world thrives with lush life, creatures alike living as though its lives werenât owed to the slumbering deity that was consumed with so much grief after all the tragic events that happened since its arrival on your world.
Perhaps it was the gentle mercy granted upon you that you stayed asleep when it parted a new realm for humanityâs arrival. When it was challenged by someone of the same nature, resulting to more catastrophic devastation that marred your heart with more fresh scars while you slept.
Perhaps it was best that you were unconscious as your closed eyes poured out tears endlessly that would sure tire you out for years as it happened.
And perhaps it was its atonement for the damage it caused you when you woke up and saw your Teyvat as something entirely new. Something that you didnât create, something⌠completely alien.
Your pride as a divine creator was shaken, but you were quick to brush it off, wanting to see just how much your precious world was defiled and turned into something you know would never pass up as befitting into your standards. It was admittedly unbecoming of you, to turn your nose up against a creation, you always held some form of admiration and appreciation towards anything. You loved â and loved so much that you had to create to share it with your creations.
But Teyvat was once your magnum opus, it was⌠yours. It bathed in your heavenly tears, it felt every caress of your hands as you molded it into something you called your greatest masterpiece eons ago. You broke into a sweat, slaved away for the sake of your satisfaction upon completion, and when you finished it, you cried from happiness alone.
You descended, the flurry of stardust in your divine robes coagulating into the familiar silken robes that you wore whenever you would visit the seven sovereigns.
How many years have you been asleep? Dreaming up a reality where you shared a meal with the humongous and serpentine Dragon of Verdure, where you watched the Dragon King roar with pride, and where you exchanged the most insightful and heartfelt conversations with the Dragon of Water â the one that held your tears.
The grass underneath your bare feet feels as though it had a million stories to tell you, that among those years youâve been forced into a slumber, you had missed a good chunk of what made Teyvat into this.
But the familiarity of the empty landscape was enough to urge you to keep going forth.
And that same familiarity ended the moment your eyes landed on fallen structures â ones youâve never seen before. You can decipher that it once stood at a towering height, just from pillars that could squash your tiny mortal form with ease should it fall at the slightest disturbance.
You could feel a sense of tyranny from these structures, a tyranny broken by a hope from perhaps the creatures that felt trapped by it. You may have been asleep when it happened, but you can almost see how the tyranny of the past ruler of this place fell against the unity of those who longed freedom.
âFreedom⌠huhâŚâ You murmured softly and a breeze rustled the grass beneath you. A lone leaf from the many trees landed on your hair, prompting you to take it and look at it.
You wondered how the Dragon of Verdure was fairing. If it had the same authority over the luscious life of Dendro as it did before.
Your feet continued to take you somewhere else, as though it had a sense of where to go. You never questioned it â as alien as Teyvat was to you now, it was still your world. And as long as the primordial waters are around, it stays anchored with you.
It didnât take long before you ended up before a civilization â one you have never seen before when you descended before it came to challenge the seven sovereigns. Your eyes widened at the sight, pupils dilating as you watched humanity flourish and thrive within that patch of rock where a city sat.
Never had you expected to wake up to the sight of humans thriving in your world where there was once none.
Your sense of cautiousness dropped in a quick second and you took yourself towards it, foot against the hard cobblestone bridge as you walked towards the walls of this⌠civilization.
If you looked odd approaching this city in such a state, then you were certain they brushed it off as the guards welcomed you with a smile.
âWeary traveler, welcome to Mondstadt, the City of Freedom, blessed by our beloved Anemo Archon, Barbatos himself!â
For the first time since you had woken up, you felt the same overwhelming sense of love and tenderness as you were welcomed with living mortals, living in your creation like it was a normal occurrence for them.
Never had you known that humanity, no matter how it came upon your world, could be so beautiful.
And just like the day you met that beloved Vishap of yours, you wept.
âYou sure know a lot of things about this place! Paimon could even say that youâre far more knowledgeable than Zhongli could be!â
Your laugh rang through the streets of Fontaine, angelic and seeming like a song from the heavens itself.
It had been so many years â dare you say centuries even, since you first descended after sleeping for so long with all the catastrophic events that has happened. You had traveled far and wide, discovered every single hidden civilization from the time you were asleep, learned every little conflict that happened.
You had to do the hard part of reading through every ancient tome that had a different language with each ancient civilization, but filling in the gaps was much easier. Despite it being your creation, the mere fact that you gave it autonomy only meant it wasnât always subservient to you. It had its own laws even if you were the very being that gave those laws.
It was a refreshing change, quite frankly. Teyvat treated you like any other mortal and you could see and experience how humanity managed to adapt to the laws of your creation. It was honestly tear-jerking. You may not be the one that introduced humanity â rather it was the one that caused devastation to you and your dragons, but it was nonetheless still an endearing sight that you cherished.
You had to relearn Teyvatâs new history as it began embarking on a journey as a new world, where humans thrived and dominated, where beings in a mortal body but with a higher threshold, power, and purpose called gods were the ones to govern instead of the elemental sovereigns.
Somehow throughout it all, it felt as though your world was no longer yours.
But the waters ring familiarity, as it held your feelings from all those years ago. And now itâs far more potent in the Land of Hydro that you were currently on as you accompanied the blonde traveler that gained infamy across the nations you too journeyed in the past.
You felt for them, much like you before, they had to learn the secrets of this world. Only that they had to do it blind, while you managed to fill in the blanks of the tragic past of this world. And as much as youâd like to play the hero, since your descent after your sleep, you have learned to let everything play out on its own.
âIâm not one to claim superiority over Mister Zhongliâs prowess. Surely he knows far more than I do,â you deny with a genuine conviction. You learned he was the oldest of all archons, and have a better grasp of the world than you do when you were asleep.
âMm. Letâs just call it quits and say you and him are even!â The tiny floating guide chirped, clapping in satisfaction after her own little conclusion.
You only nodded, conceding to her whims before finding the traveler walking up to you and giving you a serving of fish and chips and a double of serving for Paimon. You thanked them kindly and they only offered you a polite smile and a nod.
âOh! Right! We should be heading off to pick up some bounty for more mora! Are you coming, [Name]?â Paimon asked, looking at you.
You caught their gaze and shook your head, âI think Iâd like to take a walk around for a moment. Iâll see you two in awhile.â You said with the same unwavering smile that offered nothing but fondness for either of the two.
With a nod from them, off they went to Euphrasie to hound her for more bounty and its fruitful rewards.
You walked through the streets, basking in the noise of every call from every vendor within the side of the street, indulging the bustling nature of the busybodies in Fontaine, and savoring the air of nostalgia that perhaps only you can understand and feel.
Your feet halted at the remote parts of Palais Mermonia, admiring the flowers while you embraced the sense of familiarity that coursed through your veins. It was a welcome feeling above all, as it was the same feeling when you first truly experienced happiness.
And what luck it was when the Iudex himself was passing by for a quick break, to take a tiny breather from the suffocating throes of workload that was hurled on him as one of his many responsibilities.
You perked up when you heard a pair of footsteps echo within the cavernous structure of the Palais Mermonia and you looked over your shoulder.
Suddenly, that nostalgic feeling increased and your heart throbbed and ached with so much longing.
Suddenly, the breeze felt like it did centuries ago.
Suddenly, the hard concrete floor felt like the gentle grass beneath you.
And suddenly, the man behind you felt like the bearer of your tears.
You took a moment before facing him and found a smidgen of confusion and surprise that broke through his otherwise stoic expression. You had heard his impartiality and people reveled in him, word of the mouth was that the great Iudex, Mister Neuvillette himself, was the very symbol of Justice in Fontaine.
You didnât know whether or not it was a wasted chance, but it never occurred to you to even ask if he kept his promise.
To come back with the faintest memories of you.
Instead, you smiled, bowed so gracefully and respectfully to him like any other mortal who have heard of his achievements would.
But you had to give him a few words yourself; just for old timeâs sake.
âLook at you nowâŚâ
Your voice, much like millions of years ago, held the same sweetness and fondness, honeyed to perfection that it can lull anyone within earshot to a sense of comfort and warmth. Your voice beckoned him to come closer.
And he does.
âYouâre thriving so beautifully⌠living among humanityâŚâ
You could see the way his breath hitch in his throat, and you stifle a tiny laugh and suppressed the nostalgic fondness and love in your heart that was close to bursting at the seams.
âYou did well.â
And you left him then and there, like a soft breeze in passing, in search of the traveler and their tiny emergency sustenance, without you knowing, that for once, it wasnât you who cried.
Itâs true, the new Teyvat felt alien to you.
It is no longer your world, but theirs â they, the humanity that staked its claim and lived for generations, they, the creatures that survived every catastrophic event that struck this world, and they⌠the beings that claim dominion over it.
And as this worldâs creator, you would do well to enact the safety of the life it nurtured, even if you were overshadowed by the very being that devastated you.
After all, with all the love in you, it would be hard not to share it with the world you once knew.
#this fic turned out to be so damn sad why#i think itâs because im listening to ruuâs melody on repeat#anyway⌠surprise???#i have nothing more to say â ď¸#genshin impact x gn reader#genshin impact x male reader#jhuzenâs stupid one shots#seriously i am just being a nerd in this one im so sorry for a bland start#i think my next post is about the archons#good shit#oh yeah the âitâ in this one is the primordial one#tho im sure yall know that already#i just wanna create a dichotomy of reader wanting to hate primo but also being kinda thankful?#idk itâs weird
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Day 127 | id in alt
They hangin out on a building fr.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#tokyo trio#PEEP THE NAILS YALL#i had to draw Kugisaki with a watermelon sometime it's a thing of its plus i just wanted to state the obvious of where i stand again#i got into an argument with the politician major again yall#i dont wanna say anything out of context but they just said something extremely tasteless and it pissed me off a bit#thinking about the fact i watched a fucked up rose bush strangle another plant and thinking about Kugisaki like a freak#all plants can be a little weird#i enjoy drawing Kugisaki with scars. she deserves them#a friend drew Kugisaki earlier and i had never felt so much joy before.#everyday i am taken aback because i think of Kugisaki in lost beloved one movie scenes its dumb as shit#I DO NOT WANT KUGISAKI TO JUST SHOW UP OUT THE DAMN BLUE I WANT HER TO DO SOMETHING INSANE AND THEN SHOW UP#i cant elaborate because idk soul cannibalism for some reason idk ifk#Kugisaki's fit is like just a different colored fit of what i saw megan thee stallion wearing#famous people can rock shit if you find the right ones#im trying to do backgrounds more and i do refrence but what i do is called âgetting references and then fucking it upâ#i dont get down yall i fuck up#Nanami cameo because i just wanted to draw him looking technologically incompetent when it comes to face timing#ive just been tweaking as of late#ive been reading too much where people think Kugisaki barely knows anything due to her origin#YALL THINK SHE WOULDN'T DO A BUNCH OF SHIT OR LEARN SHIT JUST FOR FUMI??? WILDING OUT HERE#just realized why i can't do backgrounds in a certain way. its bc i dont do lineart.....
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I think we gotta start recognizing that "things accepted online/in leftist spaces" and "things accepted by the general public in the real world" are two very different things. like no actually gnc men are Not suddenly seen as okay because there are drag queens on tiktok. men are still beaten and harassed and ostracized and Killed for being feminine. in the us. in my very liberal city full of ppl with blue hair and pronouns I am made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome for being a gnc guy. the tiktok comments on videos of men wearing make up are not indicative of the beliefs of most people
#idk its just very weird to see ppl imply that gnc men are accepted actually#like what world are you living in that thats true#strangers make weird comments to me all the time and I see a noticable difference between how I am treated and how gc ppl are treated#I am misgendered on purpose All The Time by randos#like absolutely point out that gnc women are treated worse/have not been accepted in spaces where gnc men have/etc#but you cannot be saying that being a feminine man is now seen as okay that is so wildly untrue in like the real actual world#this goes for a lot of other things as well#like when a woman is a creep and ppl are like 'well if the roles were reversed yall would say its bad'#and its like yeah maybe online or in your liberal friend group#ppl who call men out for things don't call out women for the same stuff#and that should be discussed#but for most of the public no one is calling out men for creepy behavior#like notoriously#also even online ppl are very hateful??? like all the time#the top 5 comments on a video of a man wearing a dress may be telling him that he hashtag slays#put I promise you for every compliment there are dozens of people calling him slurs#anyway please please please touch some grass engage in social issues outside of instagram I'm begging#ghost posts#text
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Persona romance routes are all pretty bad but damn they really hit rock bottom with p3p femc route like the misogyny is very blatant and itâs almost hilarious like look at the Shinjiro romance. When you do his social link heâs like very clearly respectful of Kotone as a leader and explicitly says stuff like "oh yeah youâre clearly the best fighter we have, I donât really know much about fighting like you do, I hope Iâm not dragging you down, youâre doing a good job as leader just remember to take care of yourself, everyone looks up to you I know you can rely on them" etc. like he has faith in her leading abilities. But then when you romance him heâs like got dialogue like "bwah bluh i gotta look after you because youâre a GIRL and you need to stick by me, a big strong MAN so you donât get hurt" and "donât wear that revealing outfit in front of other guys đş" and itâs like. Does he respect her or not and also like it doesnât make sense for him to look down on her for being a girl cuz he literally has never not been led by a girl leader during his time in sees and Mitsuru in particular really has her shit together when it comes to being responsible and a good fighter and sheâs always known the most about Tartarus
Itâs also like. Idk maybe its just me Iâm not a girl so FUCK IF I KNOW but to me the appeal of romancing Shinji is the fact that heâs sweet and sensitive and gentle and has respect for you despite the fact that he acts all scary. Thatâs like, what made me like this character in the first place. But the writers seem to think what women want is for a BIG STRONG MAN to protect them because they are just DELICATE WOMEN who are inferior in every way itâs like. Shut upppp thanks
#persona#persona 3#shinjiro aragaki#this is soooooooo obviously not the only romance route that sucks in this game yall know which one im referring to đ¤¨#and i actually tend to think of the shinji romance as the best one in the series cuz at least his confession scene is the only unique one#that really highlights who he is as a character and goes with the story#but ughh just idk its so annoying how the writers cant decide if hes sexist or not its really weird and its like#really shows how poorly the writers think of women playing their game its like all the romance options are trash and then your boyfriend is#sexist to you and its so clearly done in a way thats supposed to be romantic which is. ew#like idk if my partner was like talking about how i need to stay close to them because im a weak girl and they are strong man#especially when im literally the leader of the team and have been doing perfectly fine thus far and am clearly the strongest here#id simply run him over with a bulldozer#and its like this will all the guys in this game its like girl shut up and eat glass#meanwhile when youre a male protagonist your gf will kiss your ass to the point its infuriating#and their character arcs can never be too grand cuz then they might not wanna fuck you if they realize they have worth#uh sorry my brain is all over the place basically i hate persona romances lol and i hate how they wrote shinji in his#like dammit i dont want him cuz hes gonna protect me like a man i want him cuz he isnt great at fighting and prefers cooking and puppy dogs#and has respect for me and trusts my judgement and asks me to talk about my life and interests and smiles sweetly#but god forbid a woman in this series be respected i guess
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i think its kinda funny that the most people will talk abt women in fandom is to criticise people not talking about women enough. like. do you not see. the irony in that.
#or any post thats just like. art of women or whatever just says#drawing them bc no one else does!#like maybe just draw them bc u like them??#analyse them bc theyre interesting??#rb shit abt them bc u like it and not bc fandom has become some weird space where you r morally obligated to talk abt women#no matter how much or little depth they have purely bc theyre a woman?#idk bruh when im talking abt my bsd girlies its because i am enamoured with them and their characters make me wanna eat rocks#it seems yall only talk abt them to check a box#like â
talked about a female character today! im not going to fail fandom!#wahhh#bsd#on that note i shld empty my drafts of my misery induced teruko posting#'people dont create content of female characters' thats cos yall dont fkn like itđđđ
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mkay i wrote two more good chunks (bringing us up to exactly 4k fucking words...........) of byan's bio but i'm just starting to touch on the actual lowest, darkest point of their life and it's not really helping the already shit place i'm in mentally, so. think i'm done for the night lmao
#sometimes writing byan's darker moments is kinda cathartic in a way#but uh. definitely gotta be in the write headspace for it and hoo boy am i ever not tonight#the 'nothing matters' and 'no one cares' of it all hit a little too close to home tonight#and considering the next big event is uh. mm. an Attempt. if you get me. i'm gonna just. yeah. save that for another day.#gonna practice some gentle self care for the rest of the night i think. be happy that i did some writing#even if it wasn't as much as i wanted#sorry for all the ooc lately yall... shit's just fucked and i don't wanna disappear off the face of the earth just bc#writing's a little hard again ajkhjfds#ouggghhhh i wish my mental health wasn't so fucking up and down#i wish i could expend a little more energy for a day or two without it ruining me for the rest of the week#i wish. that simple things were easy to deal with.#and i wish that every little noise that i don't make myself wasn't so jarring.#idk. i need to stop typing lmao. love y'all âĄ#ââ Ë â° â° ooc ⎠don't @ me.#suicidal ideation cw#just to like. be safe. idk. i feel weird not tagging this sort of shit.
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taylor idk who chappell roan is i think that makes me disqualified from being queer forever (âsapphic girl)
She's a musical artist! She's pretty up-and-coming right now and is seen as a wlw queer icon in the music industry, but I've never been able to get into her music even though tons of other sapphics love it. I probably just haven't given it enough of a chance. Casual is a good song though!
#big ol' personal opinions disclaimer down here in the tags. also lisia this is soooo unrelated to your question sorry lol#i also kind of hate a very specific subset of chapelle fans and i can't listen to her without thinking of them dkjfsdkjfnkdsf#which is a really stupid reason to not listen to her music and i know it but alas brains work in weird ways#i don't judge her by her fans! but i just have that tainted association. like how sometimes you feel ill after eating something#and even if that didn't cause you to be sick- you still refuse to eat it afterwards? it's like that#it's not her. she did literally nothing wrong. it's just an unfortunate little brain link that i can't get rid of#saw a couple of fans talking about toxic bisexuals and their 'inferiority complex' and that put me off of her music as a whole tbh#in regards to debates about her sexuality#one was talking about how bisexuals 'marry the patriarchy'.#quote-'bisexuals have freddy mercury. that alone is all you need' :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) i'm going to bite someone.#it's like these few specific fans were tailor made to put me off of her#unfortunately i have not gotten past that yet but if i ever can undo that brain association and enjoy her music i will let yall know ksdjks#unfortunately as of right now i am programmed to see her name and think of the (probably very few) jackasses in her fandom#just kinda made me feel unwelcome when i was trying out her music a bit more sadly#it was never her as an artist or a person. just a few idiots but it was enough#idk. i should try again though. chapelle fans. which songs should i try to start again with?#anyways i should probably stop swinging the bat at the biphobia nest lest it come back to bite me but dkjfdksjf yeah tldr she's a musician#a very talented one! just one that i cannot enjoy quite yet. i hope i can kinda defrost about it though
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Vent post lol
Fighting for my life out here
(Afraid everyone who loves me will not care about me anymore once I transition, Iâll go from relatively pretty girl to ugly freak, I have no idea how to be future me)
#happy pride ig#vent post#also like I think freaks are hotđ but itâs so hard to find other like actual genuine weird people irl#yall only live on timblr apparently#so glad the whole âI was never good at being a (gender assigned at birth)��� âI always knew from a young ageâ narrative helps people but like#Iâve successfully lived as a girl for so long I donât even know how to go about changing#I want to so bad I feel like Iâm in drag but itâs so exhausting to live that way#Im so tired of doing it#but I have so much longer till I can start hrt#I feel so dysphoric about the way I talk/walk/am in general#like how do you even go about changing your mannerisms#like I know thereâs no right way to be a man but also like the specific man I emulate is definitely not me#at least not right now#idk how much of that is like normal and fine or if Iâm just weird lol#Iâve never really seen anyone talk about that part of being trans before so idk if Iâm like super out of left field with this one
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hate how im now at a point where im legit like kicking my legs and grinning like an idiot over fictional characters SEND HELP
#take One Guess who im talking about. YES ITS KOI BOI#hes so prettyyyyy and cute and lovely and i love looking at him i wanna hear him speak and laugh and sing just AAAAAAAAAAAA#(turns to my own brain) BITCH WE ARE MEANT TO BE AROACE WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TWO FICTIONAL CRIMINALS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?????#my brain: (that fuckin anime girl gif from evangelion (i think??))#like fuuuuuck man is it self shipping if u use a proxy? like. hes an oc but he's a stand in for me. he is me and i am him but we also arent#he is his own person and i am my own our lives are very very different but i use him to express love for Mad Dog and Koi Boy#cause they could actually love him if i were in their world i wouldnt stand a chance but my boy has one so he loves them for me#its far easier to imagine him kissing them than it is for me to imagine myself kissing them but that might be because im wired weird#idk it *feels* like it counts yknow. my dumbass out here gettin jealous when i see a Certain Ship cause like i disagree with it on#a Fundamental Level. and on TOP of that half the time the art is so CUTE and im like 'motherfucker that should be ME' or i guess my lad but#STILL am i making sense?? doesnt help that i worry im like. misreading what content i have but also fuck you i can do what i want and also#i get him more than yall kgyugkhjhk (jk jk. Unless) basically when i call them my boyfriends i fuckin mean it#look its Real Missing Nishiki Hours i love him i wanna kiss his perfect face someone shoulda shown him love i could save him and he could#make me worse <3 I Want Him#and do not get me wrong i may be focused on him but Majima is still my wifey too!!! hes mine you cant have her <3#i just have koi boy brainrot i very much desire them Both (YES THAT MIGHT BE WHY I SHIP THEM TOO LOOK I ALSO THINK THEYD WORK WELL TOGETHER#OR AT LEAST HAVE A FUN DYNAMIC TO EXPLORE I SHOULD DATE THEM AND THEY SHOULD DATE EACH OTHER WE ALL HAVE 2 HANDS)#might delete this in the mornin who knows but im feelin silly i wanna talk about them i wanna talk about my boy but idk if ppl would really#GET IT yknow i can think of maybe Two People and that INCLUDES bestie but just aaaa point is i love my koi boy so much hes so lovely <3 <3
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sometimes I worry that I am #too sociable on here and it's borderline weird... but i truly just love to talk u guys đ
#ewbie.txt#i hope no one thinks its weird when i reply to yall i know i can be 'intimidating' but i just am friendly#tumblr is the one website i use where i engage with ppl idk irl its kinda daunting... like my insta disc & twitter are just me and irls#and they're all private accts too.. so being so open and public is kinda scary!!!! but i do hope im not coming off as creepy to any1#if i am ever am tho just lemme know !!!!!! and ill tone it back.#Iâm just very extroverted đ¤Śââď¸ itâs a curse#i love talking to all of yall who reply to my posts or are on my feed truly you guys are fun :) <3
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on one hand i am sad I can't have edibles (subtle, nice to have after a long day, usually a longer high) anymore but on the other i'm also really glad. fuck edibles fr. sorry. i would rather smoke flower any day
#âď¸#and this is coming from the guy who ONLY did edibles for a really long time but i just can't anymore lol#i have chs but like only for edibles. its weird. its probably not chs because its not just weed but idk#shroom edibles made me sick too. i think its something that happens in the infusion process no matter what the drug is#but weed edibles are the worst. weed edibles are like throw up 100% speedrun#even the shitty delta 8 15mg ones i had got me so sick i was shaking and nauseous until 4 am#it sucks yall.#drugs
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Me, writing the most degenerate smut fic. of Vergil as I am semi-scowling and relatively stone-faced: Okay, so (opens new tab in google) "how to give the best head" (reads without changing expression) I see, so how about I put--
Also Me, watching random edits on YouTube: đđđł Vergil is kinda hot oh wow I feel so cringey for watching this but he is kinda cute... oh I'm so embarrassed...
The video that inspired this post got removed from YouTube which sucks. It was a Vergil edit by "Kat" to the song "Candy Shop by CryJaxx"
#devil may cry#fan fiction#fan fic#writting things#i am the only one like this?#im being serious#these videos make me flustered unironically#but i look up info for fics and dont even blink#idk if this is cause of my tism#or normal#or just cause im weird#vergil devil may cry#yall should check out the video though#its good#vergil is hotter than dante#ngl#okay ill shut up now
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i refuse to let insecure fucks from my home town who are so controlled by their fear of being different make me feel bad or weird existing as i am online. yeah, i did find a place i could express myself freely and people didnt reject me, im sorry you werenât able to shame me into having 0 friends anywhere, hoping thatâd make me become the basic blonde bitch you want me to be
#yeah i did embrace being a guy and there wasnt actually anything you couldve done to stop me. its my fate my good bitch#even if i did become that yall would find reasons to reject me#like honestly wtf is so weird. be real. dig deep into that. why are you so uncomfortable with me existing as i am?#what exactly is your damage?#bc right now you're trying to enforce the status quo that also hurts you on to me- which seems to be something a lot of progressive ppl do#actually to ppl they dont like#ok maybe not a lot. but a lot of ppl in my generation and online#like theres people on here who will have a rape kink and then shame you for being otherkin like.......................#okay..........#maybe we're all just weird and its fruitless to divide our weirdness into a hierarchy#your weirdness is not somehow more pure bc idk. you are more conventional somehow#probably not autistic orsomething bc lord knows yall are ruthless towards neurodivergent ppl#like imma be uncomfortable about you and your rape kink but i dont have to engage with you about it or talk about it#i take my uncomfortable feelings and leave personally#i dont like to dwell in other ppls energy that makes me uncomfortable#maybe if you like to dwell in my energy its bc you think im cool in spite of one thing i do that makes you cringe#𤡠no clue
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me thinking itd be fine to put on an ekky interview in the bg as i deal with hot things that could burn me because im frying yes wonderful me good job me this is fantastic
#txt#on another episode of straight men confuse me what the fuck are yall doing#everyday i have to deal with whatever the fuck yall are doin#shoutout to that time i went climbing with a friend and their gym friend joined us and the vibes got /weird/ so quick and i was like well#hes straight i just met him so like maybe??? maybe this is just how they all are... making sex jokes while theyre spotting me and winking#and trying to piss me off yeah because im quiet and guys love picking on me basically my whole life...#yeah this is normal im being the weird one here#and then immediately like a couple days later my friend who was there to witness it and knows him a lot better was like#no lmao he was absolutely testing the waters he was flirting with you lol#AND I WAS LIKE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND???? HE KEPT TALKING ABOUT HER IN THE MIDST OF THAT????#and almost lost my shit while we were watching a ballet#and my friend doesnt say shit like this out of nowhere#so i am not an expert in straight boys and i would like to be very far away from them thank you#they confuse me greatly what the fuck#i completely blocked out the fact that while i was taking a break he went up to my friend and was like hey is it okay if i like slap their#ass like in a bro way i know theyre gay but like is that okay theyre not gonna take it in a bad way right?#and my friend like the shit stirrer they are went idk ask /them/ about it dont ask me lmao.#he never did bring it up to me in the session but my friend absolutely ratted him out later when it was over and i was like#IS THAT WHY HE KEPT MAKING S&M JOKES TO MY FACE IS THAT FUCKING WHY HE TRIED TO DAP ME UP AND GAVE ME SO MUCH SHIT FOR IT WHEN I LOOKED AT#HIM IN CONFUSION WAS HE DOING EVERYTHING TO TREAT ME LIKE A BRO WITHOUT SLAPPING MY ASS LIKE A SHOWHORSE IS THAT-#and now that ive remembered that i do want to conk my head against the nearest spiky thing yeah
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i may be sick, but is it because my immune system is weak? or is it because i saw a man so beautiful (kim namjoon) that my body rejected all else and demanded i sit down for a few days and just think about that. consider him.
#olive rambles#i am feeling sooooooo great rn can't yall tell#did NOTHING yesterday hoping i'd feel better today but i fear i have just swapped one symptom for another#i know it was ricky who gave me this cold too so in my head all day it's just been 'ricky. when i catch you ricky'#anyway watch bts mvs. i would say maybe you'd feel better but maybe you'd feel sick. bedridden.#anyway if you want random kpop thoughts send in an ask with your favorite kpop mv#or idk maybe stay tuned and i might just Be Compelled To Post Weird Thoughts Regardless#but genuinely send in mv recs i want to see the EFFECTS the ART the STYLE
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