#what exactly is your damage?
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i refuse to let insecure fucks from my home town who are so controlled by their fear of being different make me feel bad or weird existing as i am online. yeah, i did find a place i could express myself freely and people didnt reject me, im sorry you weren’t able to shame me into having 0 friends anywhere, hoping that’d make me become the basic blonde bitch you want me to be
#yeah i did embrace being a guy and there wasnt actually anything you couldve done to stop me. its my fate my good bitch#even if i did become that yall would find reasons to reject me#like honestly wtf is so weird. be real. dig deep into that. why are you so uncomfortable with me existing as i am?#what exactly is your damage?#bc right now you're trying to enforce the status quo that also hurts you on to me- which seems to be something a lot of progressive ppl do#actually to ppl they dont like#ok maybe not a lot. but a lot of ppl in my generation and online#like theres people on here who will have a rape kink and then shame you for being otherkin like.......................#okay..........#maybe we're all just weird and its fruitless to divide our weirdness into a hierarchy#your weirdness is not somehow more pure bc idk. you are more conventional somehow#probably not autistic orsomething bc lord knows yall are ruthless towards neurodivergent ppl#like imma be uncomfortable about you and your rape kink but i dont have to engage with you about it or talk about it#i take my uncomfortable feelings and leave personally#i dont like to dwell in other ppls energy that makes me uncomfortable#maybe if you like to dwell in my energy its bc you think im cool in spite of one thing i do that makes you cringe#🤷 no clue
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Nobody fat-shames you like your own mother. And I feel horrible even complaining about it because if I ever let it slip out people just go “just shut up, you’re thin” but I spend half a day shopping with my mom and she’s berated me for being “lazy” and not having a “flat tummy at my age”
#It’s honestly not a problem usually but something about when it’s your mom it hits so much harder#Like if literally anyone else said shit i’d tell them to get lost#Something about parents losing their minds when you aren’t exactly what they wanted you to be#I’m sorry if I legit was model thin when I was 16 or 18 but I’m not now and I’m not gonna try to be either#Kindly fuck off#But god it hurts and does disproportionate damage to self esteem
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"is this a plant or a weed" im going to pull all the hair out of your head
#finally working up the nerve to make some progress on fixing up my garden#after it got completely destroyed by the ppl who replaced our roof#and im just sitting here SEETHING at all the damage#and i cant stop thinking abt how when i brought the inspsction guy around the yard and gave him a detailed explenation of all the damage#he was like 'well you have to understand we dont know a lot about gardening. a lot of this stuff even i wouldnt be able to tell if it was a#a plant or not'#and I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS IMPLYING#he didnt think my plants where rocks#he thoight they where 'WEEDS'#and instead of thinking 'lets try not to destroy any plantlife#those assholes thought 'lets try not to destroy anything that Looks Like A REAL Plant'#but all those WEEDS???? yeah lets STOMP ALL OVER THEM#ARGHGRHGHRHRH BITING GNAWING#I HATE MAINSTREAM GARDEN CULTURE YOURE ALL IDIOTS#ITS ALL PLANTS ITS ALL PLANTS#STOP MAKING PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABT WHAT DESERVES TO LIVE BASED ON APPERANCE OH MY GOD#text#lawn posting#<- because i blame stupid ass colonizer rich person lawn culture bs for this attitude#and they still stomped on my hostas and irsises and hakone grass anyway
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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Scott has said he won’t ever make a real Fazbear location, and it’s partially because he’s afraid kids will get killed/go missing there. But I’m so convinced that their biggest issue would be people putting their (and their kids/younger sibling’s) heads in the animatronic’s mouths and getting hurt like that.
Also cosplayers.
#both these things would be me#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#He said that right? I’m not delusional?#FNaF irl????#no IMAGINEEEE actually getting your younger sibling hurt like that#not killed bc that wouldn’t work like that they’d make sure the jaws weren’t strong enough#but even getting bit even if no damage was done would be like…humiliating#like come on man that’s exactly what the game said was gonna happen plus then Michael had to go on an arc and die#nobody would feel bad for you at all and you’d be the idiot that did that forever#shoutout my little sister I should have fed her to Chuck E. Cheese#I was 9 she was 5 and she was screaming and crying in a Chuck E Cheese restaurant#hiding under the tables and she crawled on my lap and was sobbing#and I said ‘I should drag you up and throw you on the stage’#and she yelled so loud my mom came and got her
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
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Jack was slated to bring about the end of the world if he left Brockton Bay, and now he knew.
Okay. So.
*furiously takes notes about this scene for fanfic purposes*
#Kylia Reads Worm#Cherish what exactly is your damage?#Oh wait I know you were raised by Heartbreaker and you're a FUCKING IDIOT#Cherie Vasil#Prey 14.9
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Imagine you have horns, but you're in a really shitty situation and the people with power over you don't want you to have your horns. Having horns makes you a threat, makes them scared you'll fight back, so they file your horns down or just cut them off. Whenever your horns grow back, they're filed back down, never getting a chance to be more than bumps on your head.
Eventually you finally get out. You make it on your own for a while, figuring things out, and your horns gradually grow in. You can take care of yourself now, you can defend yourself. And you're alone.
One day, you meet someone. They're nice, friendly, and the time you spend with them is good. You meet them again. And again, and again, feeling more and more comfortable around them each time. Eventually, the topic of housing comes up, and when you bring up how much cheaper it is to share a place, they say that sounds like a great idea.
And as you sit on the couch together, you feel happier than you've ever felt. Being with them makes everything feel perfect. You lean into them-
And stab them with your horns.
Later that day, they open the bathroom door to find you taking a nail file to your horns. They snatch it from you. "No, stop, what are you doing?!"
"I'm fixing them. I'm making myself safe."
"Don't do that. Don't... destroy yourself like this."
"It's okay. If it's for you, then it's okay."
"I don't want you to do this. I don't want you to cut off parts of yourself for me, I want you to be happy."
"Being with you is the happiest I've ever felt. I'll give anything to stay with you."
"You don't need to do this."
"But I'm dangerous. What if I hurt you again?"
"Then I'll get another bandage and we'll talk about how to avoid it next time. It'll be okay. We'll figure it all out. For now..."
They hand you a pair of these:
#original writing#my writing#this started off as a silly little idea#but i think i might have something meaningful here#what exactly that meaning is will have to be up to interpretation because this was not written from personal experience#and yes this was written just to be the setup to a dumb joke#okay wait i just remembered the original inspiration was the thought of a character with horns filing them down#and then the idea of filing them down for more convenient cuddles#and then the scene with the person saying “no don't damage your body. there's a better way.”#and then the original idea was those little cat claw caps but i looked up goat horn covers and found these and they're perfect#THEN the idea of the Ambiguous Shitty Situation and then i had the whole story right there#anyway feel free to take this as seriously or as sillily as you want. or both
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Hey I'm here again
do you want more things to go insane over like that time with battle axe ruin
anyways what if lunars star power got too out of hand and he just melts a bit like maybe an arm or a leg just goes all gloopy ooh and yk what maybe an eye too? I wonder how much Gemini would be freaked out, especially in toxic yuri world
SOUL HOLY SHIT /POS
Please excuse me for constantly making UTMV comparisons here but THIS COULD LITERALLY BE LIKE DETERMINATION THAT MAKES GENO AND KILLER MELT SOMETIMES THATS SO FUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!!
Could u imagine if, in our universe, Lunar complained about feeling sort of "boneless" after they push a bit too far in training and the twins chalk up to typical mortal exhaustion until Pollux pats Lunar's shoulder in encouragement and when she pulls her hand back there's just strings of melted plastic and silicone sticking to her hand and they're all just OH HAHA. OKAY. YEA THATS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. WHAT THE FUCK.
WITH LUNARA TOO UGHHHH THEY'D BE SUCH A LITTLE SHIT ABOUT IT I JUST KNOW IT. I think Gemini would be the only there worried about it. I have such a vivid scene in my head of Lunara looking Gemini dead in the eyes and going "hey, wanna see something cool?" and they smack their hands together and the sound is just a little too squelch-y and when they pull their hands apart its like those commercials of super melty stringy pizza on cheese and parts of their endo are showing and they just grin and go "blehggg 😝" like a little freak /aff
Honestly tho if it happened for the first time mid-fight when I actually would like to imagine Gemini is so violently caught off guard and freaked out because mortals of any kind are NOT supposed to MELT LIKE THAT and they call off the fight in favor of not having Lunara's body actively cave in on itself. not bc they care tho its not like that they swear, its... just because then it wouldn't be a proper fight. yea. they just want a fair fight.
OR WAIT WAIT WAIT. SORRY AGAIN FOR ANOTHER UTMV CONNECTION BUT WHAT IF IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THIS COMIC. The dialogue and personality isn't quite right for them BUT THE GENERAL STRUCTURE, YK......
#asks#ichangenameseveryfiveseconds#YK IT COULD ALSO SORTA BECOME A DISABILITY METAPHOR ACTUALLY#smth smth learning to manage your powers (spoons) so that you don't push yourself and end up permanently damaged in some way#GENUINELY VERY GOOD IDEA THO IAUGHHJ I WANTED TO DRAW SMTH FOR IT SO BAD BUT I DIDNT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT 2 DRAW FOR IT.#i'm just rotating it very loudly HSJABSJSH#lunar and earth show#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#tsams#sams lunar#evil lunar#laes gemini#body horror#ask to tag
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i followed the aita tumblr blog (ppl send asks describing their situation n theres a poll to vote on whether theyre TA, its not reposting reddit aitas just to clarify) and theres so many of them that are "aita for having a thought or feeling" which is exactly what i expected out of a tumblr aita blog but also how many times do we need to unlearn the idea of thought crimes
#deeply damaging especially to the ocd mindset to create moralizations around thoughts and feelings#which a person cannot control. even the justification of:#''youre not a bad person for intrusive thoughts bc ur repulsion means u really dont like those things''#that just feeds into the obsession mindset. also i dont feel repulsion anymore and thats a GOOD thing for me#but like really its good to be able to have your thoughts without beating urself up for them#i have very strong thoughts that correlate with my emotions even if i dont exactly mean what i thought#(like thinking ''i hate this thing so much'' when its just an emotional impulse not a real feeling of mine towards the thing)
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what do you mean people can make posts on the internet without knowing anything about what they're talking about? 🤯
#this is not vaguing . my brain just cannot let go of that post#that post about adding pause options in games for accessibility (valid and correct)#and then mentioning soulslike games#i dont know about other souls like because i don't play them#but DS/dark souls/bloodborne at least#have the stable ground feature that functions as a live save system#its a strategy to quit out of the game to reset enemy positions (TO MAKE THE GAME EASIER BTW)#and it doenst make you lose any progress#and quitting out requires so few buttons you can do it in a split second when u need a moment#it only really resets bosses (which is a feature not a bug)#and sekiro HAS a pause function afaik--because its fully single player + the stable ground feature#the greatest problem of the fromsoft-souls francise is gamers treating is as gamer cred for its difficulty#when the real appeal is the unique narrative and the fact that you can fine tune your own difficulty experience with different routes#routes-mechanics-and weapons#THATS the reason challenge runs are so big in those games--but what challenge runs don't tell you is that#you can choose to make your game harder#but you have the same control to make it easier#exactly as you want it. not just by changing HP scaling and damage as is the standard- but by changing the game experience itself#and theymay not be games for everyone. but no game is ever for everyone#but in terms of actual accessibility i believe fromsosft games ARE accessible because of their simple controls that can be easily bound int#easily bound into any controller might suit the player's needs best#while offering an experience that is exactly as challenging as the player chooses
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every day I wake up and think about "would you fall in love with me again" for 17 hours straight then go back to bed
#and it's not even out yet. but the crappy sound quality snippets version is already dealing me maximum damage#not to expose myself and exactly what I'm projecting onto this story#but isn't it the ultimate fantasy to get back what seemed lost forever and find it unchanged in every way it could be unchanged?#in every way that made it yours and dear to you?#I'll blame these tags on it being 3am here (even though I'm thinking dramatic sentimental shit like this 24/7)#epic the musical#mine
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If Paz was magically revived, how would she feel about recom Quaritch, or Spider getting a new family
I think theres actually a chance of her coming back as a recom, so thinking about this really interesting.
she knows human miles, she knows the cold, violent, man who had lost his humanity. she didn't know her son, he wasn't more than a babe when she died, but she couldn't help but feel robbed, that was her baby, she was his mother.
she also knows she hold no claim to him, its been 16 years she's been dead, probably charred up and sunbleached by now. he doesn't even know who she is, outside of maybe a name, basic paperwork information, a photo if she's really lucky.
I think if she met quaritch, she'd spot the differences easily. He's soft, his eyes don't blaze with anger, his body is looser, a smile graces his face more often. he's not the man she remembers. he barely recognizes her, which she takes no offense to, considering she only recognizes his blue ass cause of the photo she saw amongst the recom files. when she asks about her son, he corrects her that its no longer miles, its spider now. he doesn't give her room for argument, says he doesn't and hasn't known the name miles for years, and that he won't force it on him. so he's a good dad now, she'd be forced to think. when she asks about his family, who raised him, he'd be forced to tell her that it was the very people that killed them both. she wouldn't take that well.
I don't think she'd ever be brought to honest anger, I think it would just be grief, confusion, hopelessness even. to be resurrected into a world where your son doesn't know you, doesn't even go by the name you gave him, was raised by your killer's, who couldn't pick you out of a crowed. that's a whole new level of cruel.
I think she could be swayed like Quaritch, given some sort of redemption arc, but I think she'd always be a bit bitter that her son was robbed from her. I think even if spider clung to her like he did quaritch there would be a disconnect; his maternal neglect and her maternal grief would clash; spider doesn't know what its like to be loved by a mother, he shy's away from her because he's scared of getting hurt, he needs her to make the first move but he also needs her to be slow, gentle, with him in a way she doesn't know how to be. she doesn't recognize her own son, knows nothing about him, has no idea how to connect with him, even if she tries he flees from her, she doesn't know what to do.
in time things could get better, easier, but maternal issues lurk so much deeper then most other wounds, and if both parties are hurting from trauma's that cannot truly be healed, I think it would really difficult. one person is trying to rebuild a relationship that never existed with a boy that is long gone, the other is trying to find a mother in someone who's very existence pains them, in someone who is missing the person he used to be so long ago.
#mommy issue exist in your very core and healing that trauma is so difficult#I can't imagine them reconnecting would be easy#I don't know exactly how to put it into words but my folks with mommy issues out there know#once that bond is broken#it never truly heals#being seperated from your baby for 16 years only to reconnect and either party are not what the other expected does damage#spider has been left to imagine the perfect mom paz could have been for 16 years#he has also had 16 years to hate her for working and fighting on the behalf of the RDA#paz left behind a human son#she came back to a boy who was na'vi in everything by flesh#thats a disconnect in it of itself#paz socorro#spider socorro#miles socorro#miles spider socorro#spider has mommy issues#paz is a key example of maternal grief#they're depressing to think about cause they're innately flawed and theres no undoing the damage thats been done#avatar#avatar 2#avatar the way of water
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everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country
#the democrats would vote for fucking hitler if he was a nice guy im convinced#allow me to break down this silly little “you can't focus on morals people's lives are at risk we have to vote blue to stop trump!!!” thing#first of all people's livelihoods are still at risk even when there is a democrat as president#did you forget about the immigration bill biden and harris signed? or you know a fucking genocide#and if people's livelihoods are at risk then shouldnt we vote with out morals? and you know not for the dems who are famously pro genocide#what is the point of voting if you can't vote for who you actually believe in?#and besides this what in this country was actually accomplished through voting? 99% of the progress made was done through violent resistanc#the only reason shit even made the ballot was because people showed they wouldn't accept things the way they are#which is exactly what you are doing if you vote for kamala harris AKA BIDEN'S FUCKING RIGHT HAND MAN#and you just sound like an extremely selfish person if genocide is not your red line#it just sounds like youre saying ��yes they murdered palestinians in gaza :( BUT WHAT ABOUT US AMERICANS!!!!”#as if the democratic party has done anything to protect americans anyways. like my job as a voter is not to get the democrats elected#to mitigate damage caused by republicans. that is the fucking democrats job. it is their job to make me want to vote for them#and until they stop massacring men women and children in gaza they will never get my vote#the democrats could openly announce themselves as extreme bigots towards anyone that isn't a cishet rich white man (which they have before)#and you stupid asses will still tell us to vote for them. how evil do they have to be for you to finally consider another option?#and everyone else in the world gets to have other options but america noooo in america we can only have two parties or else you die#and when a democrat is elected and they send another 1 billion to israel i hope youre prepared to live with the blood on your hands#YOU WANTED THIS YOU ENABLED THIS YOU VOTED FOR THIS#the reality you won't face is that there are more options and you could vote for them but none of you are willing to take that risk#yet youre willing to risk the lives of palestinians the lives of transwoman the lives of every person that bitch threw into prison#you people are so hooked on stopping trump (the democrats meaner twin) youre willing to sacrifice everything you stand for#to elect someone who is just as bad as him but is “polite” while they do it. the democrats will never feel pressure to shift to the left#as long as you idiots continue to accept their move to the right. why should they stop the genocide in palestine when youve proven#you'd vote for them no matter what?#no one’s life improved from trump to biden and the same will be true for kamala but you can keep telling yourself they aren’t the same#i’ll be voting green bc that is what i believe in inshallah you grow a spine and do the same until we’re free from these two satanic partie#and dont tell us youll protest after she's elected what would the point be???#youve shown you'd put her in power no matter why should she respond to the pressure?
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One of several things I left out of that long Imogen and Laudna post, tbh, because it was long enough already, is that since the characters, will continue to do things (or, through inaction, still cause things to happen) that cause problems, if you take all the lesser flaws off the table like Imogen being somewhat selfish or insensitive or having a skewed idea of hypocrisy? If you always rule out explanations reliant on fallibility or stupidity? You really only leave the door open for interpretations of outright deliberate malice.
#people really are out here like OBVIOUSLY laudna is imogen's only source of morality everyone else can die in her eyes#and then when you're like uh that sounds ungenerous they're like wow can't believe you see imogen in such a negative light#this happened with beau last campaign tbh. i made a joke about beau not calling out the right damage types#and this absolutely insane person was like um actually beau is perfect and the smartest#and i was like well if she's the smartest and molly died bc of incomplete information that would make her really malicious actually#and they got SO MAD#like. more generally. if you attack every discussion of a female character that doesn't exactly match your ideals#you know what happens? people who don't want drama will just stop talking about them altogether and focus on other characters#and people who don't mind a little mess will take the gloves off#cr tag
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CALL OFF YOUR TECHNO BOY TOY
#FUCK. i just remembered this quote#…. literally call of your techno boy toy or i’ll tell the cops what your mum keeps in the lasagna box….#should i rewatch pll?#i know it’ll do detrimental damage to my psyche but that’s exactly what i need rn#maybe durag toby can save me
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