#yall I made myself sad!

[angelmichelangelo]

i've probably already talked about this before but it's so crazy to me how in 2012, splinter, who has some idea that he's about to die at the hands of the shredder, decides to split his sons up in the final boss fight and has raph on the roof with him instead of leo.

like in a writing stand point, you'd think they have leo there instead, the one he has the most personal moments with. the one that he's most connected to, due to the fact that in the beginning of that very episode he's like: yeah so when i die and you become their sensei/parental figure yada yada yada...

but they have RAPH there instead. and it's like. devastating to think that splinter thought that maybe he'd survive... but then if he didn't, he'd have to have at least one of his kids up there with him... and he'd have to pick who it was that had to see that :/

and part of me thinks that it was probably always between leo and raph. maybe because they're the oldest/strongest and having mikey or donnie up there was maybe never an option... of course he'd want to protect them all from it but it was a choice he had to make and maybe one he'd mulled over before the fight even started.

and yeah maybe they put raph there instead of leo because they needed a reason why leo wouldn't just.. go ham and kill the shredder up right and so they kinda nerfed raph by having him injured but yeah. i think about it a LOT that raph was the one that was with their dad when he was killed, up on that roof without his brothers watching his dad go over the edge :(

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Do yall ever think how Merlin was magic, is magic.

Who now lives in a world without magic. How over the centuries magic slowly died out, once again leaving him alone as the last piece of a memory of something that once remained.

Do you think he worries about his magic, and therefore himself dying out? About how all of his waiting would be for nothing because he would die out before Arthur came back.

He wouldn’t even notice it in the beginning as time had ceased to have any meaningful impact on him anymore. Until the cough in his chest began to be more pronounced and not just a reaction to thinking about Arthur, until the old man disguise became harder to take off. Until he realized that the world was as cold and dead as he had been. And maybe when the urge to sink beneath the lake of Avalon became too great to ignore.

He would hold off as long as he could, until all his magic was gone and until his body ached for mercy. Maybe he made it to the water and was able to sink beneath the waves as Arthur once did.

Or maybe his bones still sit alone, waiting on the shore of the lake as he had done all his life. Forced to wait even in death.

Do yall ever think about that or is it just me

[gen4grl]

you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol

i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)

[hypostatic-oath]

Tales Of Meropide

SAGAU!Tartaglia-centered, angst with some comfort.

Warnings: Swearing. I think it's just one but I'm not entirely sure. Written before 4.2, but finished after 4.1 - contains spoilers for the released story quest so far.

_________________

Childe had never once in his life assumed jail would be fun. He had no delusions in that regard. But he had to admit, his hopes were raised once he heard of the Pankration Ring in the Fortress of Meropide. A competition ring for those who had "extra energy" they wished to "burn out" through regular sparring matches? Sign him up!

His hopes were very quickly shattered once he was told that no, a Fatui Harbinger was not allowed to compete, because "no way anyone would sign up to fight him" and "even if he did fight with one hand behind his back, that would set the bar too high for the other matches, and the spectators would be bored." Damn it - so the ring wasn't truly for fight afficionados - it was a marketing ploy! The fight itself wasn't the focus, it was the fact that it had to look good for an audience.

Childe huffed as he sat in the bed he'd taken to occupying. Fontaine was getting on his nerves - it seemed as though everything was for show, and very little was actually real. Where were the Traveler or the Overseer when one needed them?! Oh, what he wouldn't do to fight against a decent opponent!

His boredom was made worse by the fact that the Overseer - damn them and their excuse of "immersion" - had decided to bench him until he was out of prison. So now he rusted away in the Fortress of Meropide, with no one to fight, no one to banter with...

He could try the Duke again, he figured. While at first things hadn't gone his way, after explaining his issue, Wriothesley had, once or twice, been amenable to a sparring match, and it was the one thing keeping Tartaglia remotely sane. But lately the warden had been more and more busy - and less and less inclined to indulge the restless Harbinger. Were it not for the fact that he already had an escape plan in the works, Childe was sure he would have lost his mind for real. He was getting rusty. Every day that he did not raise his weapon was one day he grew weaker, and that the competition grew stronger. And he knew he had competition, both among the Fatui - how he was the Eleventh of a group of nine still eluded him - and among the other vessels.

It had hurt, the knowledge that right after his banner would come that of the Iudex who'd promptly knocked him out and sent him to jail... and that he wasn't even there to fight him about it! He hadn't been aware of the sheer strength of Fontaine's Chief Justice, but now that he'd caught a glimpse, Childe had to admit he was intrigued. And by intrigued let it be absolutely clear that what he meant was "eager to fight him again". Hell, the judge had managed to knock him out while he was using Foul Legacy! What else was this Neuvillette guy capable of? And, more importantly... had you noticed?

It was a thought Ajax didn't like to have. One he'd been trying to drown out - hah! Drown! Now that his hydro Vision was gone, and Neuvillette was out there using hydro as he pleased - since he'd first been told he wouldn't be able to fight down here. And yet, now that the Fortress had quieted down for the night, there was no sound to overpower his own thoughts.

The thoughts of being replaced. The thoughts that told him he was no longer enough. He was growing weaker, even before being arrested. His Vision had failed him. And now, how convenient - an insanely strong Hydro user was available. It didn't matter whether or not you'd pulled on Childe's banner earlier - he knew you needed strong members on your team, and at this rate he'd be no match for Neuvillette. Not in a fight, and not in your team. What was he supposed to do without it?! The worst of all was the nagging feeling that you'd grown used to not having him with you already. He'd been imprisoned for a while now, and not a peep from you. Not for the Abyss, not for Ley Lines, not for Domains, not even for Commissions.

He missed it.

He missed you.

Childe laid down on the bed - which was only slightly less uncomfortable than the slab of rock he used to sleep on during hos months in the Abyss - and turned to face the brass wall, his fingers absentmindedly tracing along his Delusion.

If only he could use it while you were taking hold of him - if only he could use his Foul Legacy transformation, too. He had developed (and tested) the theory that due to your influence, these things would have almost to no toll on his body. That was, apparently, part of the unspoken contract between an Overseer and their Vessels - not only would they become stronger, but their injuries and exhaustion would be your responsibility instead of theirs. For Childe, it was the perfect deal, lending you control of his body to fight all kinds of opponents and having his strength increase a hundredfold. Except for the part that, try as he might - and most importantly, try as you might - it was impossible for him to use his Delusion, or his Foul Legacy transformation, or, much to your chagrin, his signature "whale toss".

Ah, yes. That had been another issue.

Ever since he'd gotten to the Fortress, he'd seen it.

In dreams, in flashes during the day, hell, he was even hearing it, its song echoing through the brass walls. And yet, no one else seemed to be able to. That in itself was a sign - this was indeed the one he'd roused from slumber... and it was beckoning him to answer its calls.

He closed his eyes. Perhaps tonight's dream would provide more insight. He'd seek it out as soon as he managed to leave, he just had to wait for a pipe cleaning day in order to make his escape. For now, though, all he could do was wait, as time passed agonizingly slow. And so, lulled by boredom and whalesong, he forced himself to sleep it off.

_________

You were getting impatient.

You'd decided to give storyline immersion a try once Childe was arrested, thinking that it'd be pretty weird for the recently arrested Harbinger to be roaming the streets of Fontaine - and you'd been doing a lot of roaming recently, having a whole new nation to explore. By now, you were aware that your game was responsive to you, and that had been a big reason why you'd made that decision, knowing that they were aware of what you did. You did not want to stir up trouble with Neuvillette or Wriothesley... not when they hadn't come home yet. It was best to play to their interests a little bit. However... this was getting ridiculous.

"We're gonna have to break him out at this rate." You huffed, as you picked up yet another Romaritime flower. As usual, the members of your party who hadn't been so used to you seemed a little startled at hearing your voice, while the Traveler and Paimon were far more relaxed. You supposed it made sense - if a disembodied voice started talking about jailbreak out of nowhere, you'd probably be pretty spooked too.

"But, Overseer..." Paimon began. "If we break him out of jail, won't people notice he's missing? And you still want to get Monsieur Neuvillette as soon as his banner drops - are you sure we should interfere with justice right now?"

"Neuvillette will come whether he likes it or not." You said, a steely determination in your voice. You'd meant nothing threatening by it, only that he was guaranteed and near pity, but it still sent a chill down the most inexperienced members of your team's spines. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that's what the next Archon Quest will be - break Childe out of jail. He's gonna come home with us, and everything will be okay. So it shouldn't really matter... if we give him a taste of freedom early, now does it?"

"I suppose it's alright." The Traveler chimed in. They were still the vessel who was more in tune with your emotions after all these years together, and thst could be both a blessing and a curse. Now, what they felt was your eagerness to see Childe again... and concern.

You were worried about him.

With a few clicks, you opened the map. Were it anyone else, you would've teleported to somewhere nice. Maybe Angel's Share, or Liuli Pavilion, or any of the many other restaurants and cafés that dotted the regions of Teyvat that had opened themselves to you.

But you knew that after being stuck for so long, your Tartaglia would need something more than a simple apology meal.

__________

The Golden house. Of course his dreams would take him there - he'd fallen asleep to thoughts of you. It was a respite from the other ones, but pleasant as dreams of fighting may be, they had about the same effect as dreams of a feast to a starving man. No matter how much he fought, he'd still wake up feeling empty.

"What's the matter with you? No 'Surrender is a valid option' today?" Your voice rang out. Oh, yeah. He'd forgotten his usual taunt... did it matter, in a dream? Apparently it did, because you'd commented on it. Still, he wasn't sure if he felt like going along with it. Why would it matter? It wasn't real. He'd likely never see you again, and his stupid dream was only making things worse.

"You seem out of it. Childe." The Traveler stood before him as you spoke, their weapon lowered but still unsheated. "Maybe prison put you in a worse shape than I thought... oh, I'm going to kill them. I don't care. Traveler, we're going to take this man out of there."

"Paimon's pretty sure that's illegal..."

"Illegal? Look at what they've done to him! They massacred my boy! He has no will to live!"

Tartaglia watched as you spoke with the Traveler and Paimon. It wasn't often that he got to witness such direct interactions, and he had to admit, it was a little bit funny seeing the blonde outlander and his companion arguing with the air. They usually faced the direction opposite of where Paimon hovered - mostly so the poor guide didn't feel like they were arguing with her instead - but it still looked as though the Traveler were speaking to absolutely nothing.

Even though he was sure this was a dream - of course it was, after all, you bringing him for a fight now, and within a few seconds immediately deciding to break him out and go on a murder spree for his sake? Tartaglia could recognize his own wishful thinking - the image brought a smile to his face.

"What have they done to you?" You asked, addressing him directly once more. "How bad is it? Are you eating enough? Are you eating at all? Are you sick? Bastards..."

Concern. He could almost feel your warmth. He had to remind himself that it wasn't real. He had to remind himself that, in the real world, in the waking world, he was still in bed. That you, powerful entity that you were, could pull him out any time, and yet you hadn't.

He'd started thinking this was just like last time. Just like in the Abyss.

At first, he'd wanted his parents to come looking for him. He'd wanted them to notice he was gone, and many a night had he dreamt of them finding him. Then came his master, and with her, he held even less delusions that she'd come to his aid. And then, he'd joined the Fatui, and there it was set in stone that comrades as they may be, there'd be no help whatsoever, so he might as well give up hope.

He still dreamt it, sometimes. That someday there'd be someone to reach out a hand, someone who'd give him a bright smile when he was at his worst and help him stand, so they could take on the world together. He still dreamt that for once, just once, someone would care enough to help.

But nobody came.

He needed to be strong. He loved being strong, he loved fighting. Which was a good thing, he'd many times surmised, since it was the only thing the world needed him to do. You win the fight, you live. That was that, and it was all it had ever been and all it ever would be.

There'd be no parents looking for him. No Skirk coming in at the last minute to parry the blow. No comrades to call upon. No Overseer willing to go on a murder spree to take him out of jail.

The truth, the cold truth, was nothing like the warm dreams where someone came to his aid. The truth was that once again, he'd have to break out alone.

All he could do for now was enjoy the opportunity to fight "you", even if just in a dream, so he took a deep, shaky breath, and got ready to spar.

_________

You wondered if he knew he was crying.

It didn't last too long. You quickly opted out of the Golden House - you'd clearly overestimated his will to fight. Even as he stood at the ready, you could see the changes in his demeanor. Maybe you should've gone with Angel's Share after all.

You emptied your party - save for the Traveler - and placed Childe on one of the empty slots. Then, you quickly teleported the three of them (because the Traveler always counted as two, with Paimon beside them all the time) to your teapot. It was clear Childe needed more than just an apology fight.

"Traveler, do me a favor." You asked, once the loading screen was out of the way. "Could you get some food started, please?"

That should give you a little alone time with the Harbinger. Maybe it'd be easier, you figured, to coax information on his wellbeing if you were alone.

As the Traveller nodded and went to handle the cooking at a nearby stove, you switched to Tartaglia. It was a little odd now, controlling them when you knew they were aware of your existence. The vast majority didn't seem to mind, and you took some comfort in how responsive and talkative they were - at least you weren't some malevolent, brainwashing eldritch entity. Your characters - erm, Vessels, as they preferred to call it - seemed fine.

Childe, however, didn't.

"Hey. Ajax." You made sure to keep your voice softer than usual as you guided him towards the hot springs, sitting him down. "I'm sorry. I genuinely thought we'd get to break you out sooner."

For a while, he didn't answer.

You placed the cursor over his shoulder. By now, you knew they could feel a sort of phantom touch, and it was the closest thing you could do to offer a comforting hand.

"Whatever they did to you ends now. I'm hereby overruling your sentence. You're staying here while I'm logged off until the Traveler and I resolve this, and when I'm around, you're back on the team."

You could see Childe trying to look at you, so you did him the favor of turning the camera in such a way that it looked as though you were sitting beside him.

"Over here."

He couldn't see your expression, but you still hoped he could somehow hear the way you felt through your voice. Oh, how you wanted to be able to reach him.

Tartaglia looked in the vague direction of you, and you wished you had a way to cup his cheek and wipe away the tears threatening to spill from those lifeless eyes. You moved the cursor to rest over his pinky finger - this was the closest thing you could do to a pinky promise, after all.

"It's over, Ajax. It's done. Canon can go fuck itself. If they want to put you back in jail they're gonna have to go through me first."

__________

Ajax had wished you were physically in Teyvat many times. Most of these times were because he wished to fight you personally, some because he wished to share some food with you. This time, feeling the unmistakable warmth of your phantom touch slide from his shoulder to his hand, before focusing on his pinky as you promised to fight for him, he wished he could pull you into the tightest embrace. What a cruel dream - couldn't his mind have dreamt you a physical body, too? One he could hold on to. One he could curl up around.

He felt your touch on his back, soothing circles of warmth rhytmically rubbed, and he would've leaned into your touch if he had any idea of which direction to lean into.

"I have an escape route planned already." He sighed. "And a few other things I need to handle, too."

"Still." You insisted. "You look terrible. No offense."

"I'm f-"

"You're not fine, Ajax. I'm not an idiot. Look, the teapot has a place for you whenever you'd like. You have the Sigil of Permission, and I'll make sure to leave an empty room, so you can come and go whenever. So you at least get food, drink, a place to sleep... I'm pretty sure that with the Shogun around you'll always have someone to spar with, too, that should keep you from boredom-"

The Sigil of Permission.

Of course.

How could he have forgotten?

A dream as this may be - and he was start to suspect it wasn't, due to the unmistakable feeling of your energy seeping into his own and, perhaps a more obvious sign, how his clothes felt against his body due to being in the hot springs fully clothed (perhaps Overseers had no concept of clothing, and you refused to remove it because you considered his outfit a part of his skin? He'd heard you refer to the Tianquan's new outfit as a "new skin" once, after all...), the water making them heavier - it had still provided him something that could help him once he woke. The Traveler had once bestowed him with a sigil of permission that granted him access to your Serenitea Pot - a sigil of permission that was still in his possession.

Childe could feel a spark of hope inside his chest, the corners of his lips curving in a discreet yet confident smile.

He'd definitely take you up on that offer later.

"That's more like it!" You sounded relieved. And, as it usually was for Vessels when you were pouring your energy into them, your energy felt relieved as well, your emotions bleeding through into his body. All that, just for a small smile? Tartaglia smiled wider, in the general direction of where you should be, and the feeling increased.

He felt that familiar sensation of your focus on his hair, and found himself thinking that maybe, if you were there beside him, you would've ran your fingers through it, and maybe he'd lean closer, perhaps to rest his head on your shoulder or your lap.

Archons, what was happening to him? He wasn't supposed to let himself go like this. This wasn't a dream at all, he couldn't simply indulge as though it were. He had to stop leaning into your phantom touch, he had to stop hoping. This sort of hope, this sort of weakness, it'd kill him. He needed to-

"What you need is rest. And to be comfortable. And to let me and the Traveler take care of you." Your voice brought him out of his spiraling train of thought. Oh, right. He'd forgotten that lately you'd gotten better at hearing their thoughts. A trick you'd picked up in Sumeru, no doubt. He sighed.

"That... would be nice. Thank you, comrade. But you really don't need-"

"I don't. But I want to, so I will. So come on, let's get you fed while I redecorate the teapot again. It was bound for a change sooner or later, anyway."

[roykiller07]

when i was little i had above average reading and writing comprehension + i was creative so all the adults around me constantly expressed how much they believed i would become an amazing prestigious author as an adult. little do they know im now an unemployed highschool dropout writing doomed gayass transformers fanfiction on my notes app in a decrepit hole in the ground and i really AM the most ultimate writer on the planet

[roabythecow]

[quixtrix]

god save our women; a ramble of an analysis

or, captain laserhawk REALLY shot jade in the face and im still upset about it because oh my GOD they really made her be thrown into a role that is not HER and in death she's still a Figure. yknow, i personally don't have a problem with sarah x jade, but over the past few months occasionally i'd think about it. yeah, it's funny to call sarah gay as hell for putting jade in a femme fatale outfit, but. should that truly be our basis for the ship? or should we think a bit deeper on why exactly sarah would put the sole woman in her lil tool set into such a position? i wonder why it wouldn't hurt to think about why jade would be forced into a role where one has to be sexual.

sarah is an extent of eden and eden is society and society will occasionally harp an odd sort of something masquerading as feminism to you that being sexual gives you power! but really it only serves to loop back into being for the man's enjoyment.

now i have to say that being sexual can be empowering! it really is! we just also have to acknowledge that in the eyes of society, sex is an exchange where it serves the man more than it does the woman. it still feels good to be sexual though, and being sexual can be used right for what you want.

but when it comes to jade, jade is forced to fall into this femme fatale role, this role that demands one to be a maneater, when she usually sticks to a more impersonal way of work. in this role, she dresses in clothes that she's not comfortable with wearing, when told to change from her usual outfit she is visibly uncomfortable, and overall it doesn't fit her.

she is not a sexual person. she does not typically utilise sexuality as a tool in her arsenal, she doesn't even seem to really touch it (or she's just insanely bad at flirting). either way, she's not used to being in this position because she does not choose to be in this position often.

anyways, why does sarah think to put the woman in a position where she would have to step out of her comfort zone? because obviously, she uses things and positions as tools, and sexuality is a tool.

now i want yall to bear with me as i compare sarah to another woman in media; makima. no im not calling sarah some god awful dommy mommy or some shit, i'm bringing in makima to highlight how sexuality is used. she uses her sexuality as a woman to entice this young boy into doing things for her, ranging from a kiss to assaulting him and telling him that she'll give him more as a reward. while not inherently sexual, she offers up a date with her to encourage the devil hybrids under her control. she even offers up a kiss at one point to encourage competition. makima, someone raised by the government and given tools that she uses to manipulate others, has sexuality in her arsenal. it is not a stretch to say that sarah, someone who has intimate understanding of the government, the ladder she climbs, has seen others use sexuality as a tool. hell, it might even be encouraged to use it as a tool. i'm absolutely not saying that sarah fucked her way to the top, im saying that sarah is aware that sexuality is a tool that one can use.

now we all know how sarah got to the top, which can be reasonably assumed to be through military rank and impersonal ways. ways that don't require one to lower your guard and take you in before they strike, like a femme fatale way would. sarah most likely got through to the top by using people and throwing just enough weight around. so why does she not allow jade to flourish in a way that honestly would benefit the team way better yeah no its because she sees her as a fucking tool in order to recognise jade's real talents she must first let go of the notion that she is a simple tool and accept that as a human she has legitimate strengths in unique areas and not just one where you can remind them who is in charge and how you are a tool and FUCK EDEN AND THEIR FUCKING TOOL MINDSET FUCKING CAPITALIST MINDSET IN A SO CALLED POST CAPITALISTIC SOCIETY!!!!! okay im getting a lil heated but yknow what let's continue FUCK PEY'J LOOK AT THIS SHIT

IM SO SORRY BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL FANS THEY DID YOU SO WRONG BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO FUCKING HAMMER IN THE IDEA OF JADE BEING A FIGURE AND NOT A PERSON EVEN IN DEATH SHE IS BOILED DOWN TO SOME FUCKASS WHO KNEW HER AS A BABY'S LOVE INTEREST AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THEY DID YALL WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they did yall so wrong my god. my god !! imagine! someone who knew you as a BABY openly admitted to you when you were a young adult in your 20s that he has feelings for you! what the hell! what purpose does this serve than to cement the idea that jade is a tool, a motive? jade, a goddamn REPORTER tryna spread light on a legitimate issue on society and then gets thrown into the Ghosts because of it, is boiled down to a tool. a fucking tool by both sarah and pey'j, TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE SEEN by both show and fandom AS POSSIBLE LOVE INTERESTS FOR JADE.

SHE LITERALLY COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE IF SARAH DID SEE HER AS HUMAN AND DID UTILISE HER ACTUAL TALENTS INSTEAD OF SEEING HER AS A TOOL AND FOR THAT JADE IS UNFORTUNATELY NOT SEEN AS A PERSON, BUT AS A FIGURE.

but yknow what. yknow who also has been seen as a figure and not a person.

dolph laserhawk. eden's child soldier that they raised as a paragon of hope fallen into disgrace.

yknow what also happens with dolph and jade? they treat each other as human. jade includes dolph in her lil vlogs as she does with the rest of the team, because she is a good person. dolph recognises that she is indeed a person, someone worth remembering as themselves. not as who she was to someone, but as someone who went out of her way to offer kindness. she gets a goddamn speaking role in his vr dream alongside alex, who yes groomed him, but he also made dolph feel human.

i didnt even realise it before that they put the only two people (that are. dead. bullfrog is not here for obvious reasons) that have made dolph feel human and not an extension of eden in one frame BUT THYE FUCKING DID. these mfs and dolph are basically real recognises real

this isn't about dolph though, this is about jade. jade, who didn't get to be shown to the world as a person, who posthumously became a figure for a man's revenge, who was put into a position she is not suited for because she was not recognised as human. jade, who is the most human out of the ghosts, who gave voice to those that couldn't through her work, who went into exposing pagan min because of her uncle, her family that she loved. for being the most grounded member, they had to kill you because you mattered so much. kept the team together through kindness. god they did you so wrong jade.

[azaracyy]

today, cupimon prays for your happiness too.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

hellooo~ ‘tis ur beautiful friend bdsm gear anon again, dropping in for completely innocent and non-bdsm related purposes to unveil my secret identity as the anon who originally submitted francesca to the cat naming poll! it’s been wild seeing the results fluctuate over the last few days but i’m looking forward to seeing how the three-way tie between francesca, maggie and the utterly magnificent fitzgerald gingerbread iii turns out. they are all worthy compawtitors after all, may the most purrfect name win :3

OMG FRANCESCA ANON HIIIIIIIII its HAS been so fun watching the results over the past couple days: for starters i didnt think anyone would be this invested in the name of the cat in the first place but to have so many people too 😭 what a fun and unifyin experience ….

Nevertheless… ill properly announce the winnin name soon :]]]

[murmurmurl]

a modern human au where nothing bad ever happenned to them and they got to grow up together. I am making myself cry with this chat

[evansbby]

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[dosthoeyevsky]

its my 28th birthday tomorrow so i want to say while i still can

- i am 27 years old

- i have no money and no prospects

- i'm already a burden to my parents

- i am frightened

[lovelylovelyartist]

I saw a video of a painting of Mary being restored, recently. I'm not, nor have I ever been a religious person, but it got me thinking- Why have I never seen Mother Mary grieve like a mother after the Crucifixion?

I've seen plenty of art of Mary holding Jesus after he'd been taken off the cross. But in those, The Virgin Mary feels so, idk, detached. She looks sad, but she's also accepted it. She is serene in her grief, heavenly and beautiful.

To me, Mother Mary is that. She's a Mother.

She held her baby. Raised him with a husband that loved them. Kissed his wounds and wrapped him in hugs when Christ- he was human, so he had to be a child- had a fall. She taught him about his Father, and the future God had prepared for him.

Did she know? She knew she would be pregnant with God's child, the angel told her she would bear the savior to humanity, but did she know how he would die? Did she know that he would be flogged viciously, his beard pulled out, made to wear a crown of thorns, then forced to carry his execution method over nearly a half a mile? Did her heart not break, hearing her son cry out his dying words, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

And even if she did know, would that have made it hurt any less?

IDK, I'm no religious scholar, I'm not even christian/catholic/whatever. I'm thinking of the Jesus documented in history, and the people in his life. but even if I was religious, I'd feel sad, maybe even a little angry for Mary. That she's not allowed grief, that in art she's not allowed to be anything other than the beautiful, serene, loving Virgin Mary.

(zoom for better quality, tumblr is a dumpster fire. I'm pretty happy with this, i tried using digital acrylics in Rebelle instead of watercolors like I usually do. added with the canvas texture, it makes for a cool look)

[deviousdiesel]

.

[thesilverlady]

https://www.tumblr.com/thesilverlady/714939705545949184/ive-looked-and-i-havent-seen-you-talking-about?source=share

Please can you share your headcanons of Helaena and her relationships especially the one that she had with Aegon and her children

The fact the both of them are married and have children together but never shared one single interaction is one of the worst choices hbo has ever made and people want to convince you that they made Helaena better than her book counterpart lmao. Sorry but obsession with bugs is not even a personality to begin with

the fact HBO sucked out the dynamics from every single character was definitely... a choice

and yeah, I understand Helaena gets some ridiculous hate but pretending making her the way they did is somehow better than her book canon self is a deep delusion.

SO HELAENA HEADCANONS (I decided to make them a bit generic to cover more of her life, but if you want a solo only for Aegon x Helaena let me know)

1) Helaena isn't really pious. She follows the faith as any person but she doesn't really demonize other women the way her mother does

2) Similar to her brothers, she loves hearing tales of her Targaryen ancestors. She prefers the romance however and is something she bonds over with Rhaenyra - who is the best storyteller

3) Her older sister is someone she looks up to; as a child she dreams of being like to Rhaenyra when she grows older

4) Helaena has a small circle of lady friends but they've all been Hightower approved™ She doesn't mind this much, as long as there's no bad talking about other family members

5) She's the most patient of her siblings and lacks the temper the rest have. It takes a lot to piss her off - which is why it's shocking her she does snap

6) She gets along with her father just fine. He obviously loves Rhaenyra very much but he never makes her feel unwelcome or unfavored when she's with him. Her favorite past time is when he dines privately with her and Rhaenyra, calling them his sweet girls.

7) Aegon & Aemond are nasty as kids. It wasn't that bad before Aemond was born but having another boy around really clicked for her older brother. They mock her for not being pretty and always have a way to downplay everything she does. Alicent reprimands them if she hears it but she doesn't actually do anything to punish them. The only satisfaction she gets is when they try to do the same with Rhaenyra. Her older sister has a reply to everything and she always makes the boys flash with embarrassment

8) Helaena may not have the striking targaryen beauty (she's by no means ugly, just y'know, quite normal, a bit plain) but she has the prettiest voice when it comes to singing. And she knows how to play the harp. She performs to her father and sister a lot.

9) She loves her dragon and wishes she could fly with dreamfyre more but her mother has always been very discouraging of spending time with their dragons. The boys never listen to her but Helaena must be a proper lady so she tries to appease her. It doesn't make her miss dreamfyre any less though

10) She absolutely adores Daeron, and he's definitely her favorite of the boys. She visits him and Baby Jacaerys a lot

11) Helaena is devasted when Daeron is sent away, and it's one of the rare moments where she stands up for herself and argues with her mother. Viserys tries to comfort her by telling her she can always visit him and exchange letters

12) She does end up being the one to have the most familiarity with Daeron. She always sends the most letters to her siblings that are far away (daeron & rhaenyra) and for her nameday she gets her own raven

13) She seeks advice from her mother and her ladies when her marriage to Aegon comes closer. They give the usual unhelpful ones "Be good, have patience, obey your husband" bs, so predictably, she goes to Rhaenyra in tears, because Aemond has also added a bunch of doubts about what her older brother will do to her. Her older sister definitely isn't pleased to be awaken in the middle of the night, but she does humor her with some good advices ("don't let him do anything you don't want, try to be on top for the first time, don't be hesitant to push him, convince him to do what you want, sex shouldn't be painful, there's more than just producing children it's for pleasure too")

14) Her first night as a wife is... not bad. Aegon actually seems nervous for once, and they share a drink. She almost chokes with how nasty her brother's drink taste and he laughs. She confesses she doesn't want this to hurt and ask him to at least try to be gentle. The first time still hurts a bit (patience isn't her brother's virtue) but at least he did spend enough time to prepare her. In their second time she asks to be on top (which catches him off guard but allows it) and both end up enjoying it much better

15) As it's expected Aegon does ask her where she got these ideas from and Helaena is honest about who she asked. He doesn't say anything and she worries he might tell their mother but surprisingly that never happens

16) Marriage doesn't change her brother, or his tastes. She only requires him to not go after her ladies or servants. She knows better than to attempt to control any aspect of his life but out of sight, out of mind

17) While Aegon isn't the most gallant man, the past mockery does stop and he event fistfights with Aemond when he doesn't end his remarks. Helaena doubts he did it necessarily for her sake but she can't deny there's a... charm to it.

18) Another common ground she finds with her husband is the protectiveness they feel over their twins. Tongues can be cut from nobles but their family is a different matter. Alicent urges them to have another child. Otto is brutally honest about how Jaehaery's deformities andJaehaera's sex is against their cause. Aegon and Helaena become a shield for their twins and will fight anyone who make nasty comments about them. Their family learns to be more... delicate with expressing their opinions relating to the twins

19) Mothers aren't supposed to have a favorite child, she knows that. But Helaena can't help favoring Jaehaerys more. Her first born son is sweet, and needy and never wants to leave her side. Jaehaera is so much less expressive and while she tries to work with her it can be hard. Maelor has an adventurous spirit and loves exploring. He's good for Jaehaera who he forces out of her shell, but Jaehaerys remains constant. He's her most beloved though she'd never say it aloud.

20) After b&c Helaena gets lost into her head. She's too ashamed to look at Maelor, too hearbroken to face Jaehaera. In the dark, she seeks to find someone to blame; Rhaenyra for not giving up her throne, Aegon for thirsting for blood, Aemond for starting this when he murdered their child nephew. She wants to blame her mother who fed and nurtured this hatred between her siblings wants to blame her grandfather whose ambition and greed were always a priority, but in the end she only blames herself. For not finding a way to prevent this; the war, her son's death. All the loss and pain. She can't live with herself. When King's Landing falls to Rhaenyra and she's taken captive Helaena won't bear to see any of her children or siblings die. She ends her life so she won't have to witness any further the horror that has befallen on their house

[bitchkay]

I need to start going to sleep at night why Tino just told me good morning💀