#y'all send some weird stuff sometimes

[miyuhpapayuh]

As I continued, his face changed, it was exactly how it looked as if he was in the stalls listening to a beautiful violin solo. His ecstatic countenance was truly a thing to behold, mixed in with his low moans and erratic bursting laugh it was almost too much and I wanted more. I broke the spell to suggest a more vigorous activity to which he heartily agreed. He reached into the drawer of his bedside table to pulled out a fresh tin of crème. His eyebrows shot up at the implication, that it was not the same tin I had found three year previous. Again my cheeks went dark and I gave him a coy smile. I watched in fascination as he prepared himself for me, greasing him up, then myself. He hungrily thrust into me with no compunction. We both gasped at the sudden tightness as he soon found an agreeable rhythm. After sometime it seems, our joint climax was imminent, and we both came with not a small bit of gusto. Holmes exited me with a small murmur of thanks, which touched my heart know he truly had one of his own. For an hour, we lay there talking of his three years away, how he was going to make himself known to me with a shout, but held back because he knew how dangerous it would be for me if he still lived. With all the rush of his tale and the fact that we had “sleep together”, made me be brazen with my emotions and I told him with feeling, stern and true, “I love you Sherlock Holmes.”

“Elementary”, said he.

wtf is this?

[thel0v3hashira143]

❝ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐄! ❞

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ yuuji megumi gojo nanami n choso ☆ how jjk men act when they have a crush on you!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ fem!reader, black coded but anyone can read

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ notes: ahhh the comeback post!! let's just say my old works were...less than coherent. but im here and ready to slay the day after 2-ish years!! take these crumbs while i try and find my footing again. stay hot lovies 🎀🎀

yuuji itadori 🌸

my babyyy (sob sob) yuuji would def try to impress you with his athleticism, bc girls like that stuff right? (gojo told him that...save him)

he frequently challenges you to friendly competitions when sparring to showing off his skills.

he def let's you get quite a few hits on him and he may even let you win from time to time (seeing your smile makes getting knocked on his ass worth it)

he might act a bit bashful, but he's straightforward. he knows he has a crush on you so why would he hide it?

expect nice gestures like him wanting to carry things for you, buying you food, watching all your fav movies, ect.

speaking of which, movie hangouts!!!

every friday usually you, megumi, nobara, and yuuji all get together and watch a movie

buuuttt if he's feeling especially brave he'll invite you to his dorm to watch the newest movie in your favorite series! (yes, he keeps track of when they come out)

he loves that it becomes y'alls thing and he loves it even more when you lay your head on his shoulder and doze off <;33

he also gives hella compliments cause something in my gut says his love language is words of affirmation.

anticipate many "isn't [name] just the coolest?" or "you look great today [name]!"

im telling you he could never run out of nice things to say to you, whether it be about your looks or personality

as soon as he realizes he likes you he takes down those pin up girl posters in his dorm

he also obviously thinks you're more beautiful than jennifer lawrence argue wit ur mama

he is also obviously a personality over looks guy so dont act surprised if you see him looking at you with a lovesick grin if he catches you doing something kind for someone

expect him to confess his feelings sooner rather than later

"yeah, why wouldn't i have a crush on [name]? shes beautiful and badass! but don't tell her, okay?"

megumi fushiguro 🌸

megumi, unlike yuuji is quite reserved, even with his friends

honestly gives no indication that he likes you at all 💀💀 he stares at you pretty intensely at first (to admire your beauty) but quickly catches on that you think its weird..

once you two get closer though, megumi would frequently express his crush through small gestures

he strikes me as a reader so i can see him recommending his favorite books to you or even lending you some of his.

you two exchange books often and he highlights quotes that remind him of you

i can also see book shop hangouts where you two sit and read together in some small bookshop he found in the city.

(he's just admiring you read)

he's not a huge compliment/affirmation guy but quality time is a big one for him

whether it be on missions, sparring, or out with the rest of the first year's, he enjoys any time he can have with you.

megumi is also very protective but like...subtly

he secretly watches out for you during missions, making sure you're safe without drawing attention to it

he'll insist you two split up but send one of his divine dogs to accompany you to wherever you go.

even when you're out and about in tokyo he always likes to stay close to you. he follows you around (not in a creepy way more like a lost puppy way)

follows you into stores you like even if he has absolutely no interest.

all in all he's just a shy guy who's whipped for you <3

"i enjoy spending time with you. a lot."

teen!satoru gojo 🌸

gojo...you bastard...(affectionate)

erm ngl i can def see him being a bully to you at first...

not like a bully bully but he def teases you a lot and it gets under your skin sometimes. (you hate him)

but in reality hes jus a spoiled litte rich boy in love.

once he realizes his feelings he still pokes fun at you sometimes, but tones it down hard and turns on his charm.

gojo's approach is confident and playful. he teases you, always with a charming grin, creating a dynamic that keeps things lighthearted and enjoyable.

he'll find excuses to spend time with you, whether it's offering to train together

unlike yuuji he doesn't care if he likes you this son of a gun will NOT let you win istg

it's like he's trying to rile you up, saying ridiculously cheesy one liners as he dodges all your attacks.

"thats the best you got? oh [name], we'll never get to be together if i keep beating you!"

one thing he does enjoy doing with you however, are snack runs.

gojo is a big back in disguise with too much money to spend so you already knows most of that goes towards food.

he has a huge sweet tooth so i can see you guys browsing multiple sweets shops in the city. if he sees you even look at something for too long he'll buy 10 of them.

every trip you guys both leave with full bellies and full hearts <3

gojo wants to be around you, and he makes sure it's fun for you both

his confession is likely to be straightforward. ccompanied by his trademark smile and his sparkling blue eyes peeking from his shades.

"you know, i've been thinking... i'm kind of into you. what do you say we make things a bit more interesting?"

teen!kento nanami 🌸

my emo boy ❤️‍🩹

nanami, with his composed demeanor, expresses his feelings (though you were unsure if he even had any) through thoughtful actions.

he remembers every. single. detail. of anything you say to him.

your favorite attist dropped an album today? he already bought you the cd/vinyl. you never got a chance to go to the store to get your favorite snack? he went 2 days ago.

he revels in the fact that he knows so much about yousnd the surprised look on your face gets him every time.

(haibara claims he's seen nanami smile at you multiple times but he vehemently denies it.)

despite his serious appearance, he'll occasionally crack dry jokes when it's just the two of you

look at that man and tell me he doesn't have a dry sense of humor 😭😭

you help him to relax and he feels he can truly be himself around you. when you two are alone its like hes showing a different side to his personality.

like megumi, i can see quality time being a big thing for him since attending jujutsu high leaves him quite busy

hes also not a huge talker so whenever you two do spend time together its probably somewhere intimate like your dorm or the library.

no words, just vibes. which he appreciates since he's around a bunch of yipper yappers all day.

nanami's confession is understated but sincere.

"i appreciate the time we spend together. it's made me realize there's something more i feel..."

choso kamo 🌸

my babyyyy no. 2 (i need him biblically)

let's get one thing straight tho. choso is a curse. in my opinion curses have no idea of love in a healthy, positive way so let's just say bb is confused.

he obviously knows what love is. he loves his brothers but he doesnt wanna kiss them...and cuddle them...

he goes to yuuji for advice (was it a bad idea? perhaps.)

"bro you totally have a crush on [name]!"

"a crush?"

after some further investigation hes pretty much got the gist of it.

one thing he becomes quite fond of doing is giving you small gifts from his missions.

these aren't typic gifts persay, like food, clothing or jewelry but more like knickknacks such as shells or rocks.

these tokens become a way for him to express what words might fail to convey.

i headcannon choso likes nature documentaries and after seeing that penguins mate for life by gifting a rock to their mate he's hooked.

idk but i also feel like he's very touchy.

he always has an eye on you in public and ik he does the thing where he guides u with his hand on the small of your back or he locks pinkies with you UGHHHH

with him being protective, he also subtly keeps an eye on you during missions.

he's not one to voice his concern directly but prefers to ensure your safety from the danger.

choso's confession might catch you off guard, but it's filled with honesty and sincerity.

"i've found myself caring about you more than I expected. it's strange..."

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ omg i actually really like this...(watch me hate it in a week) but reqs are open!! i have 1 or 2 more pieces planned to get me in the swing of things but take this before then. love y'all!!

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲 ♡

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚!

𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙡0𝙫3𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙖143 2024

[lixie-phoria]

listen. I know this may seem weird but I've been thinking about how the boys would save their gfs name in their phone and it has me feeling soft :( chan is for sure the type to put something adorable like darling or sweetheart. What do you think about the others?

it's not weird at all dw!! it's quite adorable actually. thank you so much for requesting :)

ੈ✩‧➛ how bf!skz would save your contact

🎧 ┆ CHAN : he's the sweetest :( like you said, he'd probably save it as my love <3, sweetheart :), loml <3 or something along those lines :')

🎧 ┆ LEE KNOW : he loves annoying you so he probably has it saved as smth like money leech or menace. but he would definitely change it if you don't like it into something worse !!

🎧 ┆ CHANGBIN : he changes your name on his phone very often because he cannot decide which one he finds cuter. the type to give you an adorable nickname and then put a bunch of heart and flower emojis beside it

🎧 ┆ HYUNJIN : this man is such a hopeless romantic :( watch him change your name to my muse before y'all even started dating. he's adorable and gets super shy when you find out he referred to you as that even before you were together

🎧 ┆HAN : he's like changbin! will give you the most adorable nickname and add a bunch of emojis that remind him of you &lt;3 sometimes he might change it to embarrassing stuff like my little pookie wookie bear 🐻🥺 hahaha

🎧 ┆ FELIX : the type to match contact names!! if you save him as my sushine he'd probably save you as my starlight. its so adorable and vv felix-core

🎧 ┆ SEUNGMIN : yn ln. uses your birth name with a full stop and everything. he will do anything to get on your nerves.

🎧 ┆ JEONGIN : the type to put some adorable name like chan but he'd be a lot more secretive about it :( will get so flustered when you first notice what your name is saved as. and don't even get me started on how shy he'd get if the members ever find out HAHA

tags : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @laylasbunbunny (send an ask to be added/removed)

©lixie-phoria, 2023

[catboybiologist]

Okay maybe it's time to make an actual designated pinned post

Edit: hiya! A new pinned post will come, but quick note that I am starting my transition MtF now. This pinned post, and all the pictures in it, predate that, however. General guide is that I'm referring to pre transition me as a femboy, and will be referring to myself as a trans woman to moment I start HRT. But I'm leaving this old pinned post up for now.

Hi! I'm CatboyBiologist. I'm a grad student in Molecular Biology with a passion for the ocean, nature, Fromsoft games, national parks, and weird tech stuff. I tastefully hornypost about men, women, and all others (so be warned), post spicy hot memes (fuck you I'm the funniest mfer alive), type out long rambles about science and nature, and play Fromsoft games. PLEASE send me cute pictures of your pets.

Oh yeah, I'm also a cis man who does this sometimes:

I also make shitposts out of myself sometimes

I've also made a couple guides on how to replicate these kinds of looks.

General overview of femboy stuff:

How I create cleavage looks from a relatively flat chest:

If you want a somewhat more realistic idea of what my figure looks like:

The best way to specifically see those posts and filter out everything else is probably to use the femboy tag on my profile.

Pronouns? Uuuuuhhhhhhhhh, idk dude just use whatever. It's far more gratifying to me to throw a look out there and see what people wanna use for it than to declare my pronouns. If that doesn't make sense to you, they/them or he/him is cool.

Asks and DMs are always open for science talk, cute animal pictures, casual non creepy flirting, or whatever else... With the SOLE exception of these two questions that I get WAY too often and will give final answers to here:

"Are you a biologist who studies catboys or a biologist that just happens to be a Catboy?"

Both. Do humans not study human biology?

(also I'm actually studying bio irl)

"why is it not catboyologist, hmmm? I am very clever"

To give a serious answer to a joking question I get way too much: This online persona (or whatever you want to call it) is about balancing and integrating two large parts of my personality: my career in and passion for biology, and my queerness and gender nonconformity. I wanted both of those parts to be clear, in a cute and fun username. Basically, "catboyologist" only has the same effect as my actual username if you already know my actual username- you can't interpret the "biologist" part from "catboyologist".

Plus, "catboyologist" has too many consecutive wide vowels. CatboyBiologist breaks it up so it sounds punchier.

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tag, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

I'll also abuse other tags I use somewhat frequently, so hi y'all

[katiekatdragon27]

I was digging through some of my wips, and I found this old Goth Teensy child I conceptualized that was partly inspired by @/flamigoat's Raypeach child <3 (not sure if they're comfortable with me fully tagging them).

His name is Baerry (pronounced Berry), and he is Goth Teensy's biological kid. He does have another parent, but I am going to leave y'all to investigative journalism to figure out who it is. (Hint: it's not Rayman) She is totally not an excuse to draw a hybrid child noooo-

Some stuff about him, his family, and some progress pics below cut:

Baerry is an intersex kid (he/she) who is honestly pretty unstable physically and mentally. He's a nervous wreak and terrified to let people know she's not a "true teensy". He hates being limbless (even if it's saved his ass a couple times), but she still likes the perks that come with it, like reaching higher shelves and not getting sore arms and legs like her friends. He loves all his family and wants to go on a "Mama Mia" esque quest to find out who his other parent is.

Baerry was found outside of GT's home one night. He was a baby at the time, and Goth had no idea what to do with him. Goth could sense that the kid was his (when people are related their magic radiation feels different from a non-related person) but did not quite remember who the other parent was. He had an idea but did not bother pushing them into answering.

Extra hc: When Glade people have kids, it's just a magic combination of the parents (mono or poly doesn't matter). The blue lums will send out a specific magical effect that merges together. Then, the signal is sent to Polokus. There, he keeps track on which blue lums are available to inhabit a body and imagines a kid for that specific signal. Polokus is kinda messy tho, so sometimes he makes kids for people who are already broken up or widowed. It's quite the surprise when they show up, but Glade folks live by the "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality, so (most) kids have a large support group.

Baerry lives with GT on the regular (obviously), but since GT has a job, he can't care for his kid all the time. So, he has help :). Shadi is Baerry's primary caretaker outside of his dad. She's an awesome aunt who loves pushing Baerry towards his goals. She also gave him the bandana she uses for her hair. Wizard, Jano, and Romeo all come over quite frequently too to help out, but since they all have jobs too, it's not too frequently. The Grand Minimus and Rayman also like hanging out with the kid, but more like "out on the town" kinda thing and not anything long-term. Globox also babysits since his kids and Baerry get along pretty well. Ales is no contact atm b/c Wizard hates his ass and refuses to let him see Baerry.

As for his magic, it's very finicky. It's not like Goth, where his dream magic is weak but his nightmare magic is strong, or like Wizard where the opposite is true. His magic only works in bursts. He usually comes off as magicless, but when provoked enough, causes enough feeling to bubble up and create a strong blast. Folks have theorized that this was caused by Goth's weird situation (being a dream turned nightmare turned dream again), but no one knows for sure.

There's more but I'm feeling lazy. I'm up to answer any questions tho!

Have a good one folks :))

[lastoneout]

I s2g these like...third party? clinics that doctors send you to for MRIs and x-rays and stuff like that are run by absolute clowns.

I get an order to go an ultrasound of a weird spot on my skin that's probably just torn soft tissue just to make sure nothing's going wrong and I call them and they schedule me for the 6th of June, but tell me that the order I got from the urgent care place needs to be from the clinic supervisor, not the NP who saw me, so I need to go get that fixed, and also to tell them that the NP isn't in their system so they need to fax them documents to update her info. Okay, I'm not an employee there so idk how that last bit is my problem, but whatever.

In between this call and me having time to go to the urgent care clinic I get a call telling me actually they don't have anyone who can do the ultrasound on the 6th so I need to come in on the 30th. Great, whatever. This has happened before, sometimes DAY OF with these types of places so while it's annoying, I'll live.

There's less time before my appointment now so same day I go down to the urgent care place and explain all that and the desk lady seems to have no clue what the hell I'm talking about and just gives me a copy of the order and says if the ultrasound place needs updated stuff they have to request it, which is the opposite of what I was told but whatever!

So I call the ultrasound place and explain and the guy is like "uh no you should be fine with the order" and then to be sure he checks the info and is like "oh this doctor's info is out of date" and then he has me stay on the line and give him the urgent care clinic's phone number and address and again! I am not an employee there!! Why is this my job!! But whatever, he says I'm good, so I'm good.

Today, the 29th, I get another call from the ultrasound place informing me that actually, they don't even perform this procedure in Tucson AT ALL and if I want to get it done I either have to GO TO PHOENIX or get my order sent to a different clinic that does these. I do not understand why this information was not given to me immediately the first time I called, and now I have to go down to the urgent care clinic AGAIN and beg them to update the order, and idk if they'll even be able to do that bcs this is an urgent care clinic not my PCP, but whatever guess I get to go beg! And continue to worry about the soft-tissue tear bcs it isn't going away on it's own and idk if there's something legit wrong with me or not.

I fucking HATE these little third party clinics so much they are always canceling the day before or telling me actually I need to go to another location bcs they can't do it at this one or claiming they called me to tell me the date got moved when I didn't get a phone call AT ALL. Why are they so poorly managed. Why does no one know who works at what location or what location does what procedure. Y'all are doing serious diagnostic tests to confirm if people have like cancer or some shit, I've had procedures done at them twice to make sure I don't have cancer, but they still play SO fast and loose with people's time and yank us around.

I genuinely miss the days when they would just send you to the hospital to have this stuff done, they aren't great but at least when they say they can do something they can actually do it. Jesus christ. I'm so tired.

[leonenjoyer69]

hiiiiiii i demand you drop everything you have on Elias like uh this instant (he’s so silly i love him ahajajsbdbsha)

KGKEKGKEK FIGHTER YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TRYNA KILL ME, SENDING ME THIS ASK RIGHT AFTER DRAWING HIM 🫵 MY AUTISTIC ASS CAN'T TAKE ALL THIS POSITIVE ATTENTION, I'M GONNA SHAKE YOU!!!! JSKVKDKVK YOU'RE SO COOL!! FIGHTER WHEN I GET YOU, WHEN I GET YOU FIGHTER--

BUT, Since you asked so nicely I suppose I can deliver 🤭, lucky for y'all, @dustmint and I had an awesome discussion on Elias in the Mindscape (primarily on Mind Jekyll, hehe), all stemming from a drawing y'all will probably get to see quite soon (is this one :33). Once again, these are all messages from discord, so I'm sorry if the formating is weird but I really don't know how else to scribe these 😭 Mints messages are the indented green ones, and mine are the orange :3

(FIRST THO, Mint and I also came up with the ship names DayBreak (Jekyll and Elias) and NightFall (Hyde and Elias) bc we were feeling a little silly teehee (TYSM MINT FOR SUGGESTING SHIP NAMES ILY!!) but, also ofc there's Hydas (kinda reminds me of Midas, which I think is cute since they're both blond) and,,,, most the ones for Jekyll don't really flow as well, but Jekyias is pretty good :3)

Anyways, onto the discussion:

does a Mind Hyde exist in Lanyon's mindscape?? Or does Mind Jekyll just has some like characteristics that make him look a bit like Hyde 👁👁??

I think Mind Jekyll would just have some odd/intensified characteristics from Hyde. since Lanyon was able to see bits of Jekyll in Hyde before he even knew of the split, I think his mind would very quickly just connect Hyde back to Jekyll and skew his perception of Jekyll. Plus, I just don't think Hyde by himself has made enough of an impact on Lanyons life that he would get his own mind person, Lanyon barely knew anything about him and everything he learned about Hyde just kinda fed him more on Jekyll, and that's who he actually cares about. (Sorry if any of that is confusing jekvkksf english is hard rn) but!!! Mind Jekyll, right? Yeah, he would probably dislike Elias, Just like how Mind Lanyon dislikes Hyde. Mind Jekyll would probably think he's helping Lanyon (especially with how much *Lanyon* dislikes Elias) by either getting rid of (or at least keeping control of) Elias in the mindscape

Oooo, yeah, I think I understand :0 (dw! I understand that) Also, poor Elias, he already has some doubt about the real Jekyll liking him, and the Mind version of him just dislikes him 😭 would Mind Jekyll ever try to get rid of Elias in a similar way to what Mind Lanyon did? (Trying to cut off Elias's head) Also, how would Elias feel about Mind Jekyll disliking him and stuff?? ((Also, maybe Mind Jekyll tries to lock Elias in the mindscape or something like that 👁👁??)

.. I may be listening to Chonnys Charming Chaos Compendium in order, which *may* be swaying my ideas a bit, but I think Mind Jekyll would kinda play "nice" for a bit mayhaps? Like, he certainly doesn't act like he likes Elias, more so making it obvious that he just begrudgingly tolerates Elias's presence. As it goes on for a bit tho, Mind Jekyll would probably start getting worse, being much more open about his dislike and actively trying to lock Elias away in sections or rooms of the mindscape (maybe sometimes even with/near one of Lanyons stray nightmares?)

Elias has a *very* complex view of mind Jekyll, bc on one hand, it's *mostly* kinda the guy he loves, plus, having to deal with Mind Jekylls hatred is still better than going crazy all by himself in silence (at least at first). On the other hand, Mind Jekyll does hate him quite strongly and hurts his feelings quite often, making Elias even more likely to spiral. Mind Jekyll is probably one of the main reasons Elias absolutely detests the mindscape. Elias has certainly left the mindscape absolutely hysterical a good few times, going straight to Lanyon, because even *he's* better than having to deal with everything in the mindscape (when he's not simply forced into the mindscape and kinda trapped for a bit, of course. He basically stops going in willingly after a couple of Mind Jekylls schemes (and perhaps meeting his dad, or seeing the ballroom?))

👁👁👁👁 ~~Elias is really going through stuff, damn–~~ Imagine if maybe Elias only ever saw the ballroom but like very vaguely, from the corner of his eye sometimes, and just decided "I'm never going there" because it just gives him some bad vibes and stuff, and just, Mind Jekyll locks him/forces him to go there, and it's Elias just wanting to go away the whole time, not having a fun time while Mind Jekyll is just refusing to let him leave, dragging him by the hand and stuff– ~~(I'm sorry but I can't help but imagine maybe Elias telling what happened to Lanyon later, and Lanyon just like: "😨😰")~~

VJKDJVKEK OMFG YOU'RE A GENIUS, MIND JEKYLL FORCES HIM IN THERE AND HOLDS HIM IN A WALTZ AROUND THE ROOM, BUMPING INTO ALL THESE FACELESS PEOPLE AS THEIR SENSELESS CHATTER GROWS LOUDER AND LOUDER, GRATING ON ELIAS'S EARS AND SENDING HIM INTO A PANIC BC HE CAN FEEL THE HATRED COMING OFF OF ALL OF THEM JSJVKDKVK, ALL WHILE MIND JEKYLL HAS HIM IN A VICE GRIP, PROBABLY BEING THE ONE TO START ALL THE MURMURING THOUGHTS IN ELIAS'S HEAD-- Whoopsie my fanfic writing spirit took over 🤭🤭

OWHROWHDOWHDK 👁👁 Maybe Mind Jekyll is like first sort of talking to the faceless people, maybe flirting with some of them, while Elias is just awkwardly standing behind him, feeling very out of place, and at one point he just decides he's had enough of this, and tells Mind Jekyll that he wants to go, he wants to leave. And Mind Jekyll sort of teases him with an overly sweet tone, and says something how they can't leave just yet, to at least let him have a waltz before that and then them just waltzing and stuff. And maybe at one side it just feels very nostalgic because it makes him think of back when ~~he~~ Lanyon and Jekyll had their affair, or when Lanyon was teaching Jekyll hoe to waltz. But those memories keep getting drowned out by everything else that's going on. AND WHAT IF ELIAS FEELS AS IF THE TICKING OF THE CLOCK IS GROWING LOUDER AS WELL AND ADDING ONTO EVERYTHING ELSE, AND MIND JEKYLL JUST KEEPS TAUNTING HIM BUT AT THAT POINT ELIAS CAN'T DISTINGUISH WHETHER IF ALL THOSE THINGS ARE HIS THOUGHTS OR WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS SAYING. And then after somehow getting away from that ((and probably having a breakdown)) he just decides that he's never coming back there, and that he refuses to ever go into his mindscape ever since, and that he'll stay outside even if he or Lanyon are sick of each other because anything is better than that?? (Also, what if at one point they just. Lock him somewhere nearby the ballroom, and so Elias can still hear what's going on out there but he's locked and can't do anything except try to get out and listen to everything going on, and maybe he eventually gets out just because Lanyon drank the potion??)

LITERALLY READING ALL THIS AND GIGGLING OMFG IT'S PERFECT JDJVKEJKF YOU'RE A GENIUS ILYSM!!!! I MIGHT HAVE TO GRAB THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE BY THE THROAT AND BEAT IT INTO SUBMISSION BC OMFG I NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT SO BAD NOW. AND JSKVKDKVKFK UGHHHH THINKING ABOUT HOW LANYON WOULD MAYBE REACT TO ELIAS FREAKING TF OUT OVER WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MINDSCAPE AND HAVING A FULL MELTDOWN. AT FIRST LANYON WOULD PROBABLY DEGRADE HIM FOR OVERREACTING AND BEING AS OVERLY EMOTIONAL AS USUAL UNTIL HE EVENTUALLY SEES HOW BAD IT TRULY SEEMS TO BE AFFECTING ELIAS AND HE ACTUALLY STARTS FEELING BAD KSKVKDKF

PQBDOQHDQODB, IMAGINE IF MAYBE IF THE REASON WHY HE WENT OUT OF THE MINDSCAPE WAS BECAUSE OF LANYON TAKING THE POTION. IMAGINE JEKYLL WAS WITH HIM, AND ELIAS JUST SORT OF GETS SCARED AT SEEING HIM CAUSE HE CONFUSES HIM FOR MIND JEKYLL FOR A SECOND, AND LIKE FLINCHES AND TELLS HIM TO LEAVE HIM ALONE AND GET AWAY FROM HIM MAYBE?? But also, Lanyon degrading him just making his meltdown worse, and then just Lanyon maybe eventually trying to help him?? ~~(also, what if at one point Elias just, for some reason *has* to go into his mindscape, and runs into Mind Jekyll after what happened at the ballroom)~~

OMG, JEKYLL WOULD *NOT* KNOW WHAT TO DO IF ELIAS HAD A BREAK DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM, *ESPECIALLY* IF IT WAS ACCIDENTALLY TRIGGERED BY HIM KDCKKFKEKD

BONUS POINTS!! Elias ends up running off to get away from Jekyll and Jekyll genuinely has no damn clue what to do and just sorta stands there super awkwardly for a while before looking for him. In that time, Elias has already hidden himself away somewhere, now stuck with just Lanyon as he absolutely melts down, drowning Lanyons words out with babbled explanations and questions and apologies. Eventually, Lanyon *does* in fact start feeling kinda bad and awkward and actually starts helping the best he can

If Elias gets forced into the mindscape after the ballroom fiasco he would definitely tread the mindscape more carefully. He'd probably hide in rooms and such, deciding that the loneliness was better than dealing with all of that (or something worse) again, and if he does come across mind Jekyll, he'd probably try to run off and hide, or at least try to lose him.

_______

Mmmm, Elias angst 🤭🤭 also!! Mind Jekyll would probably also be a poison enjoyer. I feel like Lanyon would be slightly scared of real Jekylls poison cabinet, bc why tf does that man need so many poisons, and have an underlying fear of taking any sort of potion from Jekyll. That's also probably intensified after he, ya know, takes one that splits him in two? But yeah, Mind Jekyll definitely encompasses that, lmao

But yeah, Elias does NOT get to have fun in the Mindscape. But hey, at least his clothes are comfy! And when he's in shadow/mirror form, he usually can't hear the pocket watch ticking, unless he's alone.

Additionally!!! I have a playlist for Elias, which if anyone wants to check out, is here. (It does have some unplayable songs tho, which is very sad bc I feel like they're the most accurate for him jekvkdk but!! I offer thee the links to listen to them on YouTube 😌 --- Love Psalm, Hole in the Sky, and Hell Frozen Rain)

ANYWAYS JDKVKKD THANK YOU FOR THE ASK FIGHTER ‼️‼️‼️ I'M GONNA GET YOU, YOU BETTER COUNT YOUR DAYS 😇😇 <3333

[arwainian]

The F@tT Fic Marathon: Catching up finally.

🎉I have officially read the full Friends at the Table AO3 tag!🎉

My very silly quest has reached its technical end point after EXACTLY 10 months of intensive reading! It has been sometimes grueling, often delightful, and led to me developing intense opinions in directions i never thought possible to myself. But I have done it, and I am extremely pleased with myself.

To get some housekeeping out the way, I usually give recs upon a writeup, but since there were only three fics left for me to read i'm just gonna shout them out generally.

Fics 1981-1983

check out i'm too scared to say half of the things i do (when i picture you) by waltztangocache for partizan era Kal'mera Broun fantasizing about Valence and trying to keep from letting that slip through their telepathic bond

and if you like Christmas fic, fangirl_squee has got you covered with Fero "not liking Christmas" but being roped into it anyway, and the Bluff City Masks crew hunting down some Christmas mini-miracles

and like, if you're looking for something to read, remember every single writeup has come with at least one personal recommendation. it's all under the tag #fatt fic marathon (also a caveat that these recommendations come from my personal tastes, i might not have mentioned a fic during the marathon that's a favorite of yours and i hope you continue to deeply enjoy what you love even when it might not have hit where I would have liked)

if you would like to take a look at the massive spreadsheet I used to keep track of which fics I was set to read together, as well as other info like what season it was for, and word count, here is a link to it!

What next?

First of all, I'm gonna spend a good long time reading other things. I've accumulated a great big To-Be-Read pile of pleasure reading consisting of both real-ass books and other fanfic that have been put at a lower priority while I powered through this project. I have had fun, but it is high time for a Break to read and do other stuff for a bit. (*glances nervously at my unstarted secsam project*)

If you happen to like my thoughts about what I'm reading, this past year I tried to keep track with reading log posts. They got stripped down to the basics over the course of the year and Finals Season sorta took it out of me so there's nothing for the past couple weeks BUT. i like reading a lot and i like talking about it a lot. so that's all tagged as #cal reading log if you want to keep up with me and my reading

and, what shall happen to these writeups! I'm not interested in continuing these in perpetuity, but I may give a final send off one when the tag hits 2000 (i'm still deciding). otherwise, this is likely the end of them. I might still shout out inidivudual cool fics that get published as I read them, but that's just like, good fandom practice to spread around cool fanworks tbh, rather than this weird thing I've done. nonetheless, i hope y'all had fun watching this journey

and a final thank you to all of the lovely authors who have made fanfic writing their hobby and have chosen to share what they write with others. Thank you! it is extremely obvious that I could not have done this if they never put pen to page or fingertip to keyboard and did the dang thing in the first place. you've made some cool stuff and i like reading it.

Happy New Year Everyone!

[theres-an-endless-starry-sky]

⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ Hello there! ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅

My name is Jamie, I am the creator of 4 updating unfinished fics and do weekly one-shots! You can request a one-shot idea in my asks!

(See end of post for boundaries for requests!)

SOME FACTS ABOUT ME╰┈➤

I work as a barista/custom service/sometimes kitchen (????), I can tell you exactly what coffee to get if you tell me how much sleep you've had and how much you like sugar (feel free to send an ask!) I do 8am shifts usually and I want to die- I have weird online hours, apparently I'm never not online- Its become concerning... I'm either a James Potter or a Sirius/Regulus Black according to my mutuals/discord friends (Y'all need to make up your minds!! Let me know what you think-)

Any pronouns folks! Mix them up! Play games with them! I do prefer masc terms used for me but I identify as Gender Queer.

Flirty/joking/bullying/trolling/insults are okay as long as I know you and we've messaged before AND we're mutuals :D

MY Ao3 ACCOUNT - best fics MY AO3 ACCOUNT - random self indulgent shit TAG LIST FOR FICS (including links to all fics) The price of shiny secrets (I’m drunk in the back of the car) ONGOING 5.5k 1/3 Jegulus (chapter 2 draft 1 complete chapter 3 fully planned)

The history book on the shelf ONGOING 5.8k 2/? Jegulus long fic

Who’s taller poll series - on hold

One shot requests list - to see when I’m doing yours :)

Don’t really believe in complicated DNI’s as no one checks them unless they’re mutuals ig just don’t be a dick?

My tags:

#10/10 <- really cool posts I love

#jamie irl <- irl stuff

#you need not apply fics OR #jamies fics <- my fics

#jamies quotes <- quotes I’ve written or my fanfic quotes ect

Mutuals tags;

@moon-0f-saturn -> cally

@awokenbydreams / @canonically-dorcas-wife -> Dorcas wife

@stardustlixie -> lixie

@vecreates -> ve space @savagesyeah -> Bri

@beautyoftheships -> theships

Imma say it series where I say my opinions and y’all tell me if they’re shit

Facts about the stars where I make you cry over the black family names One Shot Requests I have 3 rules for requests, these are none negotiable: 1- NO INCEST 2- No underage/problematic age gap ships (like Snape x Harry, Sirius x Hermione) 3- Limited NSFW (see below)

Limited NSFW (I can't believe I'm typing this)

Getting this out now; I DON'T WRITE PWP, HARDCORE SMUT ectect, I write hinting towards, maybe some thoughts, touches and talks but not explicit smut. I care more about the plot then the smut.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Okay okay, so I introduced y'all to the idea of Shui Muyang (courtesy name Shui Qingbo), and this is part one of the rambling!!!!

So, Shui Muyang does not gender. They took one look at it and decided "no thanks, that's not for me" so they do their own thing (much to the chagrin of their father, but woes him, they guess). The peak lords constantly have discussions on how to address them - shidi or shimei - but they really could not care less and has made that clear, so some people genuinely believe that there are two peak lords co-running Zui Xian Peak when it's actually just Muyang. Let's get appearance out of the way before we get into the juicy stuff (or even more juicy stuff if you like appearance)! Shui Qingbo once had normal black hair, but one wrong plant when trying a new experimental wine and they ended up wildly out of sorts in Qian Cao with pale blue hair that they seem positively delighted by. Their eyes are a light blue, still soft and welcoming despite the almost naturally icy tone to them. They wear only the most stylish cuts of their brown and gold robes, and will not be caught dead getting any dirt on their robes. SO, Muyang grew up in a relatively wealthy family, a hospitality business under their control, the only child. Unfortunately for their father, they were always more interested in following their mother around the kitchen and yapping away to other guests than they were learning the ropes of the business - something made worse by the fact that they didn't even remotely buy into conforming into gender from a young age. They were most certainly a strange child, with a strange sensitivity to resentful energy that everyone believed to be brought from the fact that their birth was not at all an easy one, with Muyang almost dying in the process due to being premature. This gave them what was cited as a "connection" to the other realm, and it succeeded immensely in creeping their parents out if nothing else, zoning out and staring at things that nobody else could see, sometimes even talking to what they could see. When a travelling cultivator witnessed this one day, she spoke to their parents about how there were entrance exams for Cang Qiong soon, and that cultivators would certainly appreciate a skill like that. To say that their parents were more than willing to send Muyang off would be an understatement (their mother did love them, but...they were incredibly odd), and their father even made a comment about them returning as a 'respectable gentleman that didn't freak everyone out', whatever that meant. Maybe some children would be upset at being sent away by their parents, but Muyang had always been left to their own devices as a child, pushed to helping with the business and then ushered off to the side when they began acting too weird for everyone's liking. So, they went to the entrance exams with little fuss, following the hoards of children and watching the resentful energy lingering around the borders of the gates with a mild sort of interest. When they found out that they had to dig holes to try and gain the attention of peak lords, they weren't that bothered with getting dirty or anything, but they quickly became bored. Honestly, it wasn't as though a peak lord was going to be drawn to a child that confused and creeped out even their own parents, so they instead busied themself with scavenging through all of the herbs and berries they had just growing randomly at the outskirts of the field, which is where they were situated. Listen, mushing up a bunch of different herbs and berries into their...relatively deep hole seemed like a good idea at the time - I mean, how were they supposed to know that 'fire-cracker berries' didn't refer to the spiciness level?? When they crushed down the berries, there was a very loud bang. Shui Muyang could say, with incredible delight, that they and the surrounding participants (and some An Ding disciples collecting chosen children) were absolutely covered in warm and sticky mud. They were even more delighted when one of the peak lords stood up and languidly pointed to where Muyang stood, announcing "I want that one" as an An Ding disciple (still covered in mud) turned to them.

[jgabriel1920]

I got a feeling that I have a lot of free time but not the urge to do anything.

...Ah yes it's fucking *✨depression ✨*

Btw thanks to my mutuals for liking the weird shit I reblog and post, idk how y'all can deal with me but I enjoying it :3

It's easy to forget this is supposed to be my little corner where I do stupid stuff, and sometimes that stupid stuff is characters being horny (which is very famous)

Although theres certainly a preference for Vox and Alastor. Which is... Cool I guess, but anyone else I post gets sidelined. Oh well, I wish everyone was loved the same way.

Sorry for people that send requests and I didn't answer yet. I know your pain and my heart aches each day that I don't respond.

I love talking in here to be quite honest, even if it's silly.

Rping... Well, being quite honest it's going well but on Tumblr I have that negative rizz and luck. (Would help if I could send asks not with my main account BUT THE MOBILE DOESN'T LET ME)

I just saying stuff now lol so sue me I guess (please don't I have no money)

Uuuuhhh what more... Here some memes I guess (that's what I do when I have nothing to say)

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Sweet Music Playing In The Dark (Be Still, My Foolish Heart) [Part One]

I'm super excited about this "fic" and am so happy to finally start sharing it with you guys! It's really gonna be more of like... a "not-fic" and mostly me rambling on and on about this world I've got in my head.

Some things will probably be contradictory because i constantly think of new things and ways to do things as i ramble, but it's just a loosey goosey overview of the thing! That I'm posting cuz i hope you guys will enjoy it too!

It's all pretty much based on inspiration I've gotten from listening to Bring Me The Horizon so it's almost all gonna be their songs, if i get the links to post! And i hope you enjoy listening to the songs as well! I'll post the song that inspired each part on each part!

It's a friends to lovers au! There will be some Buckingham as well, because Chrissy and Robin are together and have a band together and are Eddie and Steve's besties! Steve is with Nancy at the beginning but there's really not gonna be much details about them aside from the breakup! Eddie also has a partner at the beginning (i haven't decided who yet shh shh shh shh), but there will also be a breakup. Or maybe I'll just have him not able to find the right person. We'll see what happens! But i hope y'all enjoy the ride with me!!!

{ Cute little bat banner is by @1-800-shedevil }

What if they know each other vaguely from robin and chrissy. They aren't close really, just see each other around. Passing in the studio sometimes. Or at events. They're each others besties friends. Besties in law maybe?They chat here and there.

And then covid happens. They're in lockdown. And chrissy and robin get tagged in some musical video challenge that's going around. So they do it, cuz they live together, and because they've been dying to see steve and eddie sing together, they tag them and pass it on. They have each others numbers because of chrissy and robin importance. So they'll both see it. And eddie sends steve a song name, some 80s song, he remembers them chatting about how they love 80s music at an event when they'd both run to hide in the bathroom to be away from the crowds for a bit. And steve text back,

"???" so eddie sends the post, and steve is like,

"oh!!! Oh my god yes let's do it!" So they do a little face time split video thing and its not a huge deal. Its goes a little crazy for a day or two and then calms. But then steve wakes up to robin calling him, and like 10 missed calls from her already. And he answers all groggy in the middle of the afternoon, lockdown, he can sleep when he wants damn it. And he's like,

"whats happened?" And she SHOUTS his name into the phone, he groans. But then she tells him to check Eddie's instagram, and then promptly hangs up on him. And he's like blinking himself awake still but he clicks it open and pulls up Eddie’s. It's actually the first thing that pops up on his feed cuz he really doesn't follow that many people... like... at all. He can see eddie, sitting on his bed, guitar in his lap and one of his little music machines next to him. Steve clicks it and feels himself blushing because of what Eddie's saying.

Basically, he starts of with,

"okay so normally i wouldn't comment or respond to like... assholes in the notes and comments but, I'm locked in my apartment and haven't talked to anyone face to face in like a fucking month an half and am just scrolling through all these stupid fucking comments so lets break this down." He shakes his hair out of his face, it's even longer than normal, his bangs are falling into his eyes. He settles back in, leans closer over his guitar, pointing into the camera.

"All you assholes. Calling Steve's music like... bland pop whatever blah blah blah. Have you listened to his stuff??? Cuz like, not to get TOO into it. Just... oh fucks sake hang on." He leans off the bed, making a weird strangled noise as he stretches. He manages to get hold of a hair band and shoved his hair up into a severely messy bun. Pushing his bangs to the sides he settles back in with his guitar and plays a bit of one of Steve's songs.

Steve feels his face getting hotter and hotter. He's still with nancy. But she's locked down at her own place and it's not even attraction making him blush. It's the fact that eddie munson, heavy metal rockstar man, is playing one of his songs, peice by peice, and laying down some serious music theory on his fans.

He plays it bit by bit until a small section of the song is playing out over his little recorder. And its acoustic and not electric like the actual song. But all the parts are there, and it sounds good. Steve can't stop watching. Barely blinking. Eddie stops playing and looks back into the camera, eyes a little wild, he's really been going at it for awhile. And he's like,

"steve might be, technically, a popstar, which, isn't really even THAT true. He jumps genres just like we do, but thats not the point. The point is, there are so many fucking... the fucking layers??? The goddamn depth of the composition of these songs he's making? He's a musical genius okay? Like... his songs are bonkers when you break them down okay?? So of i see one more of you cunts come into my comments and tell me to stop associating with popstars, which is a whole fucking OTHER topic im choosing to ignore. Dont fuckin tell me who to associate with you pretentious fucks. Anyway. Dont fuckin talk about his music until you fucking LISTEN to his music. The skill and precision it takes to make music like this? And in all the genres he ventures into, the skill level stays. Like...." eddie makes a wild flourishing motion.

"This dudes fuckin nuts okay? He's got fucking bars. He's got fucking talent. And he's my fuckin friend. So shut the fuck up. Mind your own business. Or get with the fucking program and go fucking listen to his shit. Fuck. Got me all fuckin heated now. Bunch'a dumbasses." He shakes his head. Clicks the music play back off, and sets his guitar down next to him. He pushes his bangs up off his head, breathes out a deep breath and rolls his eyes.

"Just... be nice. Or stay out of my comments. He's a friend. He's a fucking hard worker. And i dont take kindly to people calling themselves my "fans", he does the air quotes,

"and then showing up and shitting on steve just cuz he doesn't sing metal." Eddie lets his eyes move away, and then back, and then he smirks, reaches for the camera and says

"Not yet, anyway." He winks, and the video goes black.

Steve is so fucking flattered he has no words. And it only gets worse when he scrolls and sees chrissy and robin cheering eddie on. But THEN he sees Jeff, Andy, and Gareth in the comments too, saying stuff as well. Jeff leaves a trail of fire emojis and then says,

"yes!!! We use Steve's stuff at warm ups alllll the time!!! His shit will rock your world!"

And steve is just, so fucking flattered. He likes the post and tries to think of a way to respond. He thanks eddie in the comments. After checking his own and seeing some of HIS fans saying similar stuff about eddie and his band.

So he comments and doubles down,tell HIS fans he feels the same. He doesn't tolerate hate toward his friends. And then, he grabs the box from under his bed. Pulls out his stack of Corroded Coffin ticket stubs. He's been to.... several shows. Like a lot. Not always front row. He and robin love lawn seats. So they hang back there, and party with the kids and make a good space for themselves, dustin had started a lawn mosh three or four times. But he just makes a video, says,

"its come to my attention some of you think i couldn't possibly be a fan of Corroded Coffin. And i just woke up like an hour ago and im not generally good with words so im not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna do this." He holds up the stubs, all stacked together at first, and then he slides his thumb and the stubs fan out, he's got like... 15 to 25 of them.

He smiles. Fans himself a bit with them, holds them closer to the camera so people can see they're actually Corroded Coffin tickets and then pulls them back. He gives a little toothy smile and a peace sign and then turns the camera off. He goes to take a shower and comes back to a comment from eddie under his video thats just,

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FUCKIN WHAT!?!? OUR BIGGEST FAN YOU SAY?? 🤣😈🔥🔥🔥💋💋💋"

Cuz he's an emoji slut and had been up for... over 24 hours making that video and just losing his shit a little. But then he also gets a personal text from Eddie and he's like,

"holy shit. Have you really been to that many of our shows?" And steve is like,

"yup. More actually. Ive seen you a few times at festivals from backstage too" and they get to chatting.

Steve tells eddie about dustin starting the lawn moshing and eddie loses his shit again cuz that was so cool to him and the guys, that the lawn had been moshing like the pit. And thats how they start really talking and becoming actually friends and not just semi sort of adjacent friends. Robin and Chrissy add them both to the same group chat and it just blossoms from there.

They dont really post anymore videos, alone or together. But then, after lockdown, a music award show comes to them both and asks if they'd wanna perform a song together as a suprise for the show. And Steve's kind of hesitant. Cuz he doesn't know if he can pull off a Corroded Coffin song. But eddie just claps him on the back and is like,

"dont worry. We're gonna play one of yours" and steves like,

"shouldn't we talk about it a little?" And the band boys chime in that they've been DYING to perform one of his songs. And steve is just so flattered. But he's also like,

"i dont... know. How's my song work with you guys and your style? Im not exactly a heavy metal guru." Eddie smirks at the word, throws his arm over Steve's shoulder and says,

"oh steve. Lemme open your eyes. Lemme show you what you can really do." He widens his eyes cheekily and he and the boys take him to their studio to show him what they have in mind.

When they perform, it starts with just steve alone with his guitar, the stage behind him dark. He gets through the beginning and then the band kicks in with their heavy style and the crowd 'ooohs'. Steve finishes the first verse and then the lights come up, the band goes harder and Eddie comes out from behind Gareth and starts playing his guitar, walks up to the second mic and starts singing and everyone goes CRAZY.

Steve matches Eddie's energy for the whole performance. Eddie jumping and playing and sliding to his knees when he's not singing. Steve jumping to the beat and playing when its Eddie's time to sing. Both of them leaning in close to one mic to sing and play their guitars in unison a few time. The crowd screaming making them both smile.

The crowd screams loud again when Steve leans against Eddie's back as they play, head falling back to lay on his shoulder. And then Eddie is hard core screaming the end of the song. Steve bouncing on his toes as he plays the final notes and the light fall and the stage goes black.

The comments on the videos online are almost all about how GOOD it sounds. And how well their voice go together. And a ton of Corroded Coffin fans being like,

"look at the little popstar man go!!! He's a little rocker at heart!" Cuz steve had been jumping around, keeping up with eddie as he played his guitar and yelled into the mic with him. And Steve's fans are like,

"holy shit! I haven't seen him look that happy on stage in ages!! He's a rockstar!!!" Everyone coming together and agreeing that rock agrees with steve! Even if he doesn't go their on his own in the future, they're glad he's friends with eddie and can venture there if he wants too, when he wants too. Because eddie is always happy to have him. They hug super tight at the end, eddie grabbing Steve's hand and holding it over their head as he screams,

"make some fucking NOISE!! FOR STEVE. FUCKING. HARRINGTON!" and the crowd fucking loses it as they smile and walk off, Eddie's arm draped over Steve's neck, both of them sweaty and hot and beaming.

[simmeons]

💢Gigantamax - Tell us your favorite thing about one of your friends!

ONE?! nah, im doing them all (so several people don't send it or people don't get upset i didn't pick them)

Mega: you're just a very sweet person. i don't know how else to put it- you radiate flowers and butterflies and even though i know you have your days and you write some. gut wrenching stuff. but you're also so nice to me and other people and you don't get that a lot anymore so i love that about u keep it up pookie

Andi: i know we don't interact a lot (I PROMISE ILL FINISH READING THE COWBOY ENTERPRISE STUFF I PROMISE IM TRYING IM i clutch your pants as im on the floor crying at ur feet) but your posts about your life are a reality check for me. NOT THAT'S IT'S A BAD THING. you're very honest about what you deal with (anxiety, having a child, etc etc) and it kinda helps in grounding me when i have my own anxiety and think the world is gonna die and then i see you out here also dealing with stuff and still making it by. idk. you're indirectly the adult i look to and go "okay i probably won't crash and burn. hoorah" i really hope that's not weird

Jawsh: you're a little weirdo. don't ever stop. ur so funny to talk to and im sorry for the days we don't talk a lot but i love that we can come back and still chat about old men yaoi like nothing happened. also i love our shared bond over hating Sundays. fuck Sunday

Snowy: you're so yuri crazy i genuinely love it. I love Snowbot, i love how enthusiastic you are about Lore. never let anyone tell you ur weird bc that's my job and never stop posting Snowbot please don't ever die (also ur art style is so good brah. like it tastes absolutely wonderful to me. thank you for blessing us)

Leaf: hey man i know you don't have Tumblr so that means i can be a little shit n you won't know! but seriously, i love how we have so many things in common. you got me into Star Trek and i can never thank you enough. you're also great at distracting me and you're always there to show me ur Legos. i wish you and Celery the best (Celery isn't their actual name it's a nickname i gave them)

Matt (Kaklord): you're a ball of fun in our socks server. yes i count you as my friend get in this hug alright buddy yeaahh bring it in. i love how you're very enthusiastic about Vulcans and their. cough. biology. plus Pokemon. you're just awesome sauce man. you constantly wear sunglasses bc ur so cool and you're allowed to flex ur aura

Vitor: you're the reason why i stop and hesitate when i have suicidal thoughts. WOOAH way to hit y'all with something dramatic but im not joking. you're so special to me. you make me stop and think about who i affect everyday and though sometimes i hate how special you are and how much you care because i want to be selfish and end it all without caring about others- but i can't. so thank you for that

[desertfangs]

Swipe Right [AO3]

Armand/Daniel, Louis/Daniel - 5 Chapters - Explicit

Y'all, I'm so excited about this because this is, no joke, the first AU I've ever written in terms of truly being an alternate universe (I've done some canon divergent stuff but that's it.) I've just been so inspired by the wonderful AUs and AU ideas in this fandom and when I saw the prompt, I knew what I wanted to do.

This was written for @valenfangs for the prompt "Dating App."

Anyhow, I'm a little nervous because this is something I haven't done before but I'm so excited about this fic and I'm really happy with how it turned out. It's 5 chapters, all written (so it is complete), although there is potential for more chapters or a sequel so we'll see. I will post one chapter per week.

Also, where is that anon who asked if I'd ever write Louis/Daniel because uh... here you go. They are not the main focus but the first chapter is pretty much them so... You're welcome! I told you I never know what might happen!

Summary: In this modern, human AU, Daniel is a radio intern with a podcast who installs a Dating App to find love. He matches with a strange, pretty guy named Armand, and meets another gorgeous man, Louis, in a bar. Dating is complicated and weird, but Daniel just wants to find love.

Short Excerpt:

It was an alert from the new dating app he’d signed up for. His pulse quickened. He’d made a profile in a fit of loneliness the other night, a little tipsy and unable to sleep. For all his time spent talking to people, he never seemed to make any lasting romantic connections and the app was a desperate attempt to change that. 

Most of the matches had seemed wrong to him immediately and while he didn’t mind the odd dick pic, he didn’t understand the point of sending them without so much as hello to accompany the photo, nor what he was meant to do when he received them. He’d sent one back once and the guy unmatched with him, which hadn’t helped his confidence. Since then, he’d pretty much written the app off as a failed experiment. 

He looked at this new match. The guy was gorgeous, that was the first thing he noticed. Auburn hair curling around his chin, big brown eyes, pale skin, and a dusting of freckles. He was young, maybe a few years younger than him. In the photo, he was wearing a t-shirt (a rarity on these apps, most dudes went shirtless), but the funniest part was his profile photo made him look kind of bored. He was smiling faintly but like the photo had been taken by someone else holding him at gunpoint. Daniel found that endearing. 

His profile said his name was Armand. He was twenty years old and a student at SFSU. He liked video games, science, and museums. Daniel had to admit he was intrigued. He accepted the match and then sent a short message: “Hi! You’re hot. I also love museums. Maybe we could go sometime.” He hit send and then immediately worried it was stupid. He resisted the urge to delete it. He silenced his phone and tossed it onto his bed. 

He went back to editing the podcast, because he needed to get it uploaded by midnight so it could go out tomorrow on time. Not that any of his 67 subscribers ever complained if he was late. 

Read the Rest on AO3

[goopyedgay]

Uh time to be cringe

sometimes it makes me feel very bad and the fact of being a gregstella shipper bothers me, imagine that what you love the most and makes you happy is also what hurts you the most, I'm not doing anything wrong and still the people get to be very annoying and cruel to me, I want to believe because I am the one who is actively creating content about them, so I guess it makes sense that I'm the one who takes the hits.

I'm someone who tries to take things calmly but sometimes I just explode over things as simple and stupid as these, I know I asked people to block me if my content bothers them, and I appreciate that they do, but there are also people that the only thing seeks is to annoy, even sending me messages that I should kms.

I couldn't care less about these things when I'm in a good mood but in these moments when I just feel bad and I can only say, I'm sorry? sorry for shipping two characters that have nothing problematic? I wish I had become obsessed with something else instead of this but I can't help it, I've been dealing with this shit since last year, but now that I've become more open it only makes things worse.

I can't even calmly interact with the hellpark fandom because I'm afraid they'll get mad at me and point out that I'm "proshipper" or "lesbiphobic", at this point I don't even want to draw HP Estella and Gregory together, I have to admit that I ship them and that was the reason why I started doing it gregstella content, but to avoid problems I created my own au or whatever. (and it ended up becoming a very ambitious project wow)

I'm not lesbiphobic, in fact, I really like ships wlw, and I have considered being a lesbian many times but i'm aro so meh, just because I like a "straight" ship doesn't negate everything else, it will sound like an excuse but I don't even consider Gregory to be a man (or at least the one from hellpark and my au) or a woman, I consider him as... Gregory just being Gregory? I don't really give much importance to this hc thing because at the end of the day my favorite characters are my favorite characters for other reasons and not just for that, and I found myself unfortunate that my two favorite characters are two that you can't ship because it's "wrong". I know there are some gregstella shippers who have said or done unpleasant things, but there will always be weird people, and that doesn't mean we should pigeonhole us all into that.

It's sad that I have to say something as stupid as this to me. But I needed to get this off my chest because I'm really getting tired of this kind of stuff, I'll probably delete this later or maybe keep it here so people are clear about where I stand and stop saying or misinforming what I do or say, like e.g. I draw nsfw (something I have never done publicly and I haven't drawn this type of explicit things for years since I was grommed lol, and if I did in the future that is something that does not concern you, much less if you are minors)

Anyway, thank you very much to the people who support me and like my art, you really motivate me to continue being open with what I like and continue bringing content for the community of this beautiful ship, or even if you don't like the ship and you only like my artstyle, it is also appreciated ♥️

This is more vent than a clarification, but hey, take it as you want, love y'all!

[efangamez]

Hey you beautiful peeps! Fingers hurt, so I'll be using voice to text! Sorry for any errors!

UPDATE

Hey you beautiful people! Sorry I've been gone away for a while. I've been dealing with the stress of the hurricanes and making sure that my family and everyone I know is safe. I'm also playing a s*** ton of sparking zero recently and it is absolutely fantastic. It kind of sucks that I'm on a hyper fixation right now of Dragon Ball. Z because it makes work Debilitatingly agonizing. So because of that, I haven't really been able to get a ton done in the game design department as much as I'd like.

And I am learning that that's okay! I have severe mental health issues and sometimes the thing that helps me dissociate and maybe not the best way is a hyper fixation on something to where it gets to the point of engulfing my whole life for a short period of time. I've had this with metal Gear solid. I've had this with Yu-Gi-Oh. I've had this with pokémon my whole childhood and right now it's Dragon Ball. Z. I've always been a Dragon Ball fan but with sparking Zero releasing it's made everything a lot More swollen when it comes to my hyper fixation.

Nevertheless, some good news though is that I have been working on some stuff in this time and it's all really, really great stuff. I don't want to push myself to the point of burnout again to where it becomes agonizing to even think about game design. I'm taking it steady and I cannot thank every single person that follows me and understands the weird and honestly long and arduous journey. That is my trip back to normalcy. I'm getting to a point to where I'm doing a lot of community work that I'm very proud of outside of game design which is another passion of mine. This is really fulfilling work but it takes a lot of time and it is work and it is payless. I wouldn't sacrifice it for the world though.

There's going to be another sale next month to celebrate my birthday and help me pay for doctor expenses that I'm going to be incurring next month for my final checkup and eye exam before I'm kicked off of insurance. I've got to figure that as out as well but the reality is is I probably will not have healthcare lol. I love living in America not.

Lastly, this election is coming up and that is also going to take my attention away from a lot of things. There's a lot of work that needs to be done in my community as well as internally as to what decisions regarding this election are necessary. Also, if the outcome is Donald Trump winning then I also have to prepare and help build infrastructure so that the ones I love and hold dear to me are safe and sound. That takes priority over every single thing in my life.

In short lots have been going on but I'm still trucking and I'm still kicking and I still love game design and I really really think every single person who follows me and is letting me get back to normal through these past 2 years of trauma and growth that has been absolutely agonizing but absolutely rewarding. I hope you all are doing well and I send you lots of love and courage in the coming days. Feel free to message me if you need anything If you're a mutual and if you're not a mutual, message me about some of the games that you've played and looked at of mine. I love to hear about what you think about my games and what I could either improve upon or what you really like.

See y'all on the flip side and hopefully it doesn't take me this long to make another post LOL.

-Efan