#y’all don’t even know what a twink is

[mrmanbat]

We cannot be friends if you refer to any of the bats as “twinks.”

…

Like bro they’re all insanely fit and tall. Most of them aren’t even gay??

Sure some are lean but none of them fit the twink description.

[canichangemyblogname]

I’d personally like to know what fandom they’re in because every third day since May of this year, I have been subjected to takes that include statements like:

Tommy will cheat on Buck because gay men cheat.

Tommy will give Buck an STI because gay men sleep around.

I hope Tommy dies of AIDS.

Tommy is homophobic for dating Buck instead of a “femme twink bottom.”

If I were Buck, I’d have killed Tommy for flirting with me.

If you like Buck x Tommy, you’re just a fetishizer. Even if you’re a queer man. I said what I said.

We should stone Tommy.

M/M romantic relationships have always centered women.

Temu is a predator for dating a grown man who’s younger then him.

Jakey only wants Buck for his body and youth because gay men are shallow and superficial.

Which crime makes you want to execute Tteokbokki the most? Cutting a date short or calling a man by his given name?

Gay men are never actually gay; they just think they are. They actually like women, but don’t realize it or are lying.

Men like T*mmy should be beheaded for flirting with men the way he has with Buck.

Tommy is such a typical gay man, forcing himself on Buck in his loft and turning him gay.

Gay men are all liars, so I don’t expect Buck to put up with Tommy long.

Stereotypes about gay men obvi come from somewhere, and that’s real life! I have good cause to think Tommy will be bad for Buck as a gay man!

Buck’s not actually into men; Tommy is your typical man and pressured/coerced Buck into a relationship.

Tommy and Buck dating makes light of women’s relationship trauma.

Someone needs to tell Buck that he’s actually in love with his best friend!

The gayest thing to ever happen to Buck isn’t kissing a man or the implication he’s had sex with that man, but the one time he told his best friend he’d beat him up.

Buck x Tommy is problematic because they’re both men.

Tommy is a pedo because queer people prey on children and a teen in the show called him “cool” off-screen.

Any number of takes calling fans of 911’s recent decision to expand queer representation by including a same-sex male couple “bummies” or “bummers” << UK queer people have told y’all to knock it off. It’s a slur.

Also any number of takes saying that Buck & Tommy’s relationship feels “off-putting,” “creepy,” “gross,” “weird,” “nauseating,” or “obscene”

If you flirt with men like Tommy, you’re a predator. Simple.

Tommy is a freak and a fetishizer.

Relationships are only meaningful and worthwhile if it’s a slow burn and you more friends for the better part of a decade first.

I think this queer guy is secretly in love with and pining for his (straight) best friend.

Queer guys and straight guys can’t be friends; the attraction gets in the way.

Buck is going to cheat on Tommy because Tommy’s old and has a low libido and Buck’s a bisexual slut.

Tommy is grooming Buck!

So, yeah, I’d like to know what fandom you’re in where people are being homophobic to real queer people for *not* liking Tommy, because all I’ve seen is people literally sending death threats and CSAM fics to queer people—often specifically targeting queer men—who support 911’s newest canon queer couple. It has been MONTHS of targeted harassment. Months. I’d like to know WHO these people are who are harassing queer people in the name of defending a “homophobic queer character,” and then I’d like to know how that character is homophobic.

Please—I beg—tell me how Tommy is a “homophobic” gay man. How is he anything like the self-proclaimed “homophobic gay men” of buddieblr? Do tell. Without relying on any tropes about gay men being predatory. Because the only reason y’all think he is and can and would “groom” or “prey upon” a grown man is based in very popular irl queerphobic stereotypes about queer men. Y’all have spent the last five months essentially saying: “I want to subject this fictional character to violence because of real life false conceptions about men like him.”

[blahpanblah]

Here’s my opinion on some of my favorite Sonic ships. I don’t have a controversial ship here, sorry not sorry.

Surgamy: Look, I really like ships about a nice and loving person with a someone who is the opposite. And Surgamy is just that but the goodest. The moment I saw people ship it, I saw the potential immediately, and it just flourish even further. This might be my only Amy ship that I full time ship all times. Sorry Sonamy, Blazamy, Shadamy, Metamy, etc shippers, I like this one more. Sunshine/grumpy Sapphics go hard.

Shadamy: Alright admittedly this isn’t my FAVORITE Shadow and Amy ship, I don’t even fully ship it. But I get it now. I used to think people who shipped this was the cringiest part of the fandom. BUT I SAW THE LIGHT AND THE POTENTIAL AND I AM ON BORED. I mean, kinda… I still see them more as friends. But yo, anytime I see y’all make ship art or something, i’mma be like “Yo dog I get it. Sunshine and grump, that shit go hard!”

Metamy: METAMY SHIPPERS PLEASE CALM DOWN! I haven’t stopped shipping them, it’s just the fire has died down. I just, started to see them less as a couple potential and just more as friend potential. Like, I just think the idea of Amy, being the ultimate friend maker she is being besties with a clone of her crush that has to kill her like 20 times while he’s going through a existential crisis is cute, funny, and full of potential that doesn’t have to be romantic. And I’ve just started to see them in more of that light.

Knuxrouge: According to the shipping wiki this is one of the more popular ones, and this is one of the only BIG ones I actually ship fully. IDK dog, I just think it’s cute and funny when a character’s reaction to be flirted with is “W…W…Women pretty.” They be cute.

Bigfinite: BLAME THIS ON @bbgatile 1000%. For those who don’t know, they made a bunch of crackship art a few years ago, which they now since deleted, which please don’t hate them for its their art, they can do what they want with it, if you want to find it, just google the ship name on google you’ll find some reblogs. But I saw that shit and I’ve loved this pairing to death since. I love dog/cat pairings! I love calm/extreame pairings! I love villains/that one side character pairings! It’s just a good ship and it’s BULLSHIT that there is only like 4 works of it on AO3. Best believe my next STH fic is gonna be about them.

Whispangle: Do I even need to say anything? Pretty sure this shit practically IS canon! Whatever! Lemur and Wolf sapphics goes hard AF.

Shadknux: This like my only Shadow ship. I think this is real good soup. Although, if I had a preference, I prefer the Boom! Iteration of this ship more. IDK Dumb himbo with enough Twink is extremely cute. I really like these two. I admittedly don’t read a lot of Sonic fics, but I wanna know if there’s some good ones with this pairing.

Jetilver: I understand why one wouldn’t ship them together, but I think the idea of Silver learning how to ride extreme gear, even though he can fucking fly, cute. And listen, these two is just a gay middle school couple to me. Jet is a closeted gay teen who is CONVINCED they are straight, and they just wanna be seen as cool but they come off as cringe. And there’s Silver who is just openly himself and can probably blow you up with his mind yet he finds Jet riding on extreme gear and finds it rad as shit. They cool and cute, and they deserve more attention.

[wannabanauthor]

So Buck shows up for a shift with his new macho twink S1 haircut, and Hen looks at him and says “Tommy let you out of the house with that haircut?”

Buck answers her question while slowly and gently sitting down in a chair. He clears his throat as his face goes red. “Of course, but it took a lot of persuasion.”

Eddie claps him on the shoulder. “Tommy’s not the kind of guy to dictate what his partner can and cannot wear, so what are y’all talking about?”

Chimney passes by and says with a mouthful of food, “He looks like he’s about to attend his first Pride and check his Grindr account while there.”

Eddie puts two and two together. “Oh, that kind of persuasion…please tell me the Muay Thai setup was spared.”

“Well, I showed up while he was warming up,” Buck says with a grin while remembering fondly just how thoroughly and deep Tommy fucked him on the mat.

Eddie withdraws his hand. “I’m hiring a crime scene clean up crew for every single inch of house before I’ll practice with him again.”

“Make sure they clean his car too,” Buck adds. “And maybe the Chevelle.”

“You fucked in my car?!”

“Not in it, but he was bent over working on it one day, and one thing led to another-”

“What’s wrong with a bed?!” Eddie exclaims.

Buck shrugs. “Even for a gay guy, there’s only so many sets of bedding you can go through before you get tired of doing laundry.”

Eddie groans. “That’s it!” He leaves and comes back a minute later with an electric shaver. “Buck, this is for your own good.”

Buck shoots up and puts his hand over his hair. “Don’t you dare!”

“Chim, Hen, help!” Eddie says and tries to reach for Buck who dodges out of his way.

“You’re on your own,” they say and leave.

Then Eddie chases Buck around the table Scooby-Doo style.

Chimney plays “what’s new scooby-doo” on his phone as he and Hen watch Eddie chase Buck all over the station.

Tommy strolls in with some takeout and watches the two best friends in amusement.

“Evan,” he calls out.

Buck stops running and smiles at his boyfriend. Eddie thinks this is his chance and tries to pounce on Buck.

Buck doesn’t even avert his gaze and manages to flip Eddie over his shoulder while maintaining eye contact with Tommy.

Then Eddie uses his legs to knock Buck onto the floor. They both lay there panting before Eddie lunges in Buck’s direction.

Tommy sees the shaver and panics and runs over to them, “Leave the hair alone.”

Eddie stands up and holds the shaver up at them both like it’s a gun. “Stay away! I know what you two did in my car!”

Tommy says, “I would never do anything in your car.”

“Now on top of it is a different story,” Buck says. “Or against it.”

“Evan, you’re not helping,” Tommy says and rubs his eyes. “I brought lunch for us, but I can see you’re busy.”

Buck gets that dopey in love look on his face and kisses Tommy. “I’d rather have you for lunch.”

Tommy smirks. “That can be arranged.” He tosses the food to Eddie. “Here, free lunch.”

Tommy and Buck head off hand in hand.

[ad-astra-per-aspera1976]

Heads up Slerp Token fans this asshat is posting personal videos of the person that is vessel on TikTok and making it show up in your feed if you follow the sleep token tags or anything.

When are these bitter incels gonna learn? Tell me you don’t know anything about women, without telling me you don’t know anything about women. I reported and blocked him but unfortunately I was spoiled on Vessels identity and im pissed.

But guess what assholes, y’all been saying shit like “if you saw this dweeb in real life you’d think he was ugly, you dumb women…”

Uh dude I hate to tell you this (no I don’t I wanna tattoo it on your forehead) but Vessel is super cute! Gorgeous even! 10/10 would still bang. Like WTF? Ugly???? Bitch WHERE???? Where????????

Do you know anything about us feral bitches? We would fuck Pyramid Head from Silent Hill! Pennywise? Micheal Myers! Chunky boys! Dad bod boys! Goofy little twinks!

We’re screaming it but these assholes just aren’t listening. It’s has NOTHING to do with looks, money, fame, popularity, or muscles.

It’s as simple as making us laugh, being sweet, and going down on us once a week. The bar is literally on the floor.

So yeh fuck these jealous incels. Vessel is a smoking hottie. Die mad.

[pikahlua]

Fine I’ll explain the joke

Send this post to anyone who needs it to understand why the Viz translation is actually really good.

I can’t believe this page is leading to the third time I’ve had to do this (first with the “Swiss cheese” thing and then with the “biggest grand slam/one closest to Izuku Midoriya” thing).

Let’s talk about the very intentionally bad slang and author’s footnotes for Camie in chapter 380.

Context: Camie is a gag character who speaks in gyaru slang. Her use of slang is so heavy that all the other characters often find her speech incomprehensible. The cringe slang is the gag. This gag is emphasized in chapter 380 by her speech being so incomprehensible that even the author writing her speech doesn’t quite understand her. He leaves notes in the margins explaining all her slang for the benefit of the audience, but with each note he gets progressively more confused about what she’s saying and ultimately gives up on the explanation. THAT’S THE JOKE.

For comparison purposes, here is the original Japanese scan and the Viz official translation. Note how both have footnotes in the margins.

Here is what she says in Japanese (katakana is represented as capital letters):

te yuu ka KAN’ICHI! ※1 ROOTO ※2 no RENMEN ※3 KOru ※4 toka chou SHAKOTAN ※5 da shi

If I were to translate this literally into English, first of all I wouldn’t be able to, because there aren’t literal translations of slang, but my best attempt would be:

I mean, close shave! ※1 A Rohto ※2 hottie ※3 passing away ※4 would be like a super shakotan ※5 or something

Note that I’ve got no good translation at all for “shakotan.” That’s because shakotan is a type of car that’s been modified to ride low to the ground. It’s from bousouzoku subculture and seems to be popular in the yankii subculture too. I’m not gonna act like I know what the hell I’m talking about with this slang. The best I had when I did my initial translation of the chapter was “low-rider,” but it’s really not the same thing at all; Shakotan has more to do with drag racing and such.

But even if I had a good translation for shakotan, the rest of the sentence is nigh incomprehensible given how much of it is slang. Here are the footnotes Horikoshi left translated into English:

※1 Abbreviation for “a hair’s breadth.” ※2 Rohto Pharmaceutical. Eye drops. Good for the eyes. It means “eye-pleasing.” ※3 A romantically desirable man ※4 Belated (deceased). It means “to pass away.” Probably. ※5 When a vehicle’s height is lowered. Dunno.

Yes, Horikoshi literally wrote “probably” and “dunno” in there. That’s the joke. The footnotes are part of the joke.

So I think (but have absolutely no confidence in saying) the message she’s trying to convey is that letting a sexy dude like Hawks die would be like taking a perfectly good car and cutting it down into a super super low car. Maybe. (I’m honestly just as confused as Horikoshi on this one.)

This means that in order to preserve and translate the joke into English, the translator had to find a balance between relevant English slang that is incomprehensible but also just comprehensible enough for the audience to get what’s going on--oh, and slang that also works with the joke continued in the original footnotes.

I feel really proud of my “close shave” translation for slang that comes from “a hair’s breadth,” but another translator could easily decide that “close shave” isn’t slangy enough or isn’t incomprehensible enough. Rohto is a hard one to translate by itself, but the renmen word (short for ren’ai ikemen) easily refers to a sexy man, so “hottie” is one of the better translation options by far (sorry, but “twink” doesn’t mean what some of y’all think it means--it’s a bad translation here). The slang for “passing away” is a difficult one and the one I was most interested in seeing how the translator would handle. We don’t have many words in English that are slang for dying but maintain a tone of respect like you’re sad or don’t want the person to die. In my opinion, “unalive” is a pretty good attempt.

But then the translator also needed some slang that he could maintain Horikoshi’s jokes for footnotes #4 and #5, namely his “probably” and “dunno.” There was no way shakotan would make the cut. The translator chose “fetch” and “no cap” as the solution. They’re cringey enough slang that walk the line between incomprehensible and just comprehensible enough AND allow for a literal description in the footnote to joke about how the writer just gave up on understanding. Maybe you think you could come up with better slang the translator could use, but remember one does have to consider the entire reading audience and what slang they’ll be able to understand. All in all, the translator did the best they could in these circumstances. Whether or not a joke like this would land very well in English versus in Japanese isn’t really the point, as the translator’s job is just to translate the joke that’s there. What’s funny in another culture isn’t always funny in your own.

That said, I love me some meta jokes, so I did enjoy this one.

[rainbow-wolf120]

MORE ABOUT VIVEO ALL ABOUT VIVEO TELL US MORE NEOWWWW !!! GO ON THE LONGEST RAMBLE YOU’VE EVER RAMBLED !!!!! 🔫

Ohohoho. You’re in for a real treat asker >:]

Okay, since I have so much about the TV twink, I decided to lore dump about Viveo and Rayman’s relationship. More importantly…

In College!!

Yes. And they were roommates

Me lore dumping under cut. I know not everyone cares for my OCs or ideas lol:

So, the story is that when Rayman first migrated into America, he was struggling to settle down. People didn’t like him and never really gave him the chance for… anything really.

Then, he heard about this one college (I don’t have a name for it atm), but it was very big on being “accepting to both humans and hybrids”. This was super rare for a college in what? 1950s?? 60s???

Whatever, it was a chance for Rayman.

Sadly, college was nothing like the advertisements, cause when he arrived, he was very much bullied into the ground. Turns out the college may be accepting but the students were not.

However, he wasn’t alone.

This leads into Viveo.

Viveo was harassed, yes, but not as much as Rayman. He is technically an “alien”, but he’s “human” enough to spare a beating.

Also, he’s buff

I do make jokes about Viveo being a twink, and he is. But he has jumpscare muscles. Like, when he flexes you can tell he works out.

(This is a reference to him being based off a JD coach and that burns calories and stuff idk it makes me feel buff </3)

The two met when Rayman was getting bullied. He would’ve fought back, but when last time he did he got in really big trouble because he broke someone's nose and the school sided with the bullies cause like, this is still the 1950s.

Viveo stepped in and scared them away with his tall frame and jacked body. Maybe a bit of psychological manipulation to get the point across.

(I may draw a comic about this, depends on how much y’all like them lol)

That’s how they officially met. Viveo may have heard of Rayman through rumors and drama (cause he’s a sucker for that), and Rayman heard of Viveo through reputation.

It turns out that they shared the same room! They were roommates yay 👏

They both pursued entertainment, so they shared a lot of the same classes which only made their bond stronger.

When Rayman is not trying to get a gig or in class, he takes a job at the college as a desk assistant and soon a CA (the people who patrol the dorms and tell people to shut up). Although it was only late at night, it was the only thing hiring.

Rayman doesn’t really know what Viveo does when he’s not partying, so he lets him stick around until he’s free again.

Although Viveo technically shouldn’t be there when he's on the job, let alone talking to him, it’s the only way people would actually go up and ask Rayman for assistance (even if they only talk to Viveo)

Also, it gives Viv something to do

Rayman doesn’t want to get fired, so when a boss or something comes along, Viveo acts like he’s there for help. Gotta use that acting class for something

As you know, Viveo is popular among the campus, and that popularity comes parties.

He’s a riot at these things. He’s fun, entertaining, and can sing really really good

Viveo is invited to all the dorm parties, but Rayman is not

Since Rayman is a CA, he technically works for the college and is able to rat people out

And partying is forbidden at this one

Even if Rayman is invited, he’s seen as a “stick-in-the-mud”. He tries his hardest to be “fun”, but he’s a bit too "good" to do anything crazy (unless Viveo nudges him too)

So, when Ray works, Viv parties.

(I know it’s a modern phone. If they had flying cars and fully interactive holograms in 1992, I’m sure this is likely)

Viveo is still lowkey selfish, but if he likes you, he’s a bit more lenient.

Being best friends and dormmates with basically one of the security guards, it gives Viveo a lot of power if you think about it

When he gets bored or tired of a party, he hits up Rayman to shut it down so he can leave with a "bang"

Is it unnecessary? Yes. Is it fun to see everyone’s night get ruined because you thought it was boring? A little.

It’s a benefit for them both, though

Rayman gets praised by his boss and coworkers (mostly his bosses), while Viveo gets to party with little to no consequences

Power couple at it finest

When Eden eventually becomes sort of a big name, Rayman takes Viveo with him to his job application as moral support. Viveo stands in the back supporting him, spicing his performance with sound effects, and helping him remember his lines if he slips up (Perks of a TV face)

Rayman does get the job, and he’s super pumped to tell Viv about it (Keep in mind that this is like, senior year of college). Viveo is obviously happy for him, but also a tad bit jealous.

Y’know, until Rayman drags him along.

In Rayman’s mind, he’s nothing without Viveo and vice versa. It’s a little different for Viveo, but that’s not important.

At the end of the day, Rayman gets himself a place as “Eden’s mascot”, and Viveo’s given a place of “Eden’s voice” per Rayman's request. Two aliens against the world.

That’s enough of me yapping, I don’t know who even bothered to read this far. If you did, thank you. You either really like Viveo, or have nothing better to do.

I might do more lore-dumping. This was fun. But it depends if people want to sit down and listen

Thank you for coming to my Gay Talk, hope to see you next time <3

[violinn]

i’m so fucking tired of all this complaining about the mean girls movie musical.

1) it’s the musical, not the original movie, so if you havent seen the musical before, things are going to be fucking different because ITS NOT THE MOVIE !!!!!! they dress different, they act diff, they talk diff, even the dynamics are a little diff.

2) people need to stop acting like the decision to make regina gay is the most angering, out-of-pocket thing in the world, because it fucking isn’t. people are acting like it’s the most absurd decision ever, and it isn’t. if you’re really that fucking upset over it, then the movie was obviously not fucking made FOR YOU. nobody is forcing you to watch it. (and i’m sure renee rapp would not want the $0.001 she makes off of your view)

istg, all i see everyday is all of these identical looking twinks complaining about how out of pocket it is, and how it doesn’t make any sense. if it was the opposite, nobody would be complaining. if aaron was gay, everyone would think it’s so cool. if there was a remake of like any other movie and they made a man gay, tik tok and everyone else would be so excited, praising it for its ingenious and its creativeness. but as soon as it’s a lesbian, people flip out. gay men have no issue iconizing all these women, until they’re lesbian.

so, here is me directly addressing some of these points that these people are making:

“it came out of nowhere” - did it really? literally the main conflict between the two sides in the movie is because regina told everyone that janis was a lesbian, and janis was like extremely hurt about it, even how many years later. it would make sense that the falling out had something to do with regina having feelings for her, or something along those lines

“regina was into aaron” - did you even watch the movie? like honestly, seriously, did you? she isn’t even into him. even if she dated him, it’s like one of the most common things for lgbtq people to have dated the opposite sex, even if they aren’t attracted to them, either for appearance, or simply not yet knowing, and this is like the most prevalent in teenagers. regina, in all honesty, did not seem all too into aaron when you look back on it. she used him quite literally as a pawn in front of cady’s face. she sat there in the one scene and purposefully used the fact that they were dating to aggravate cady. also, why are we acting like it isn’t a thing to be bisexual? she could literally just be bisexual. (just saying, y’all never seem to deny comphet when it’s a man 🙄)

“there’s no way an entire school was bullied by a lesbian” - WHAT? i’m sorry but what. i don’t even know what point this person was trying to make, but even so, they completely missed. aside from all of the things i could pick apart about this statement, i thought it was like a running joke that usually the popular bully in high school, usually turns out to be closeted (male or female). like not even saying that this is true, but this is like a popular generalization and joke, so this point doesn’t even make sense.

finally, reneé literally said she isn’t explicitly gay. she said it was just her vibes. people are getting this mad over a character who is just the slightest bit hinted about being a lesbian.

just leave it the fuck alone. let gay girls be happy over the slightest chance at representation, because we all know that gay men get almost all of it.

thank you

- a girl who likes girls and reneé rapp, who just wants a little bit of representation in something popular.

[ohbrotherthisblogstinks]

IN VINO VERITAS

ੈ✩‧₊˚ himeno x fem reader

synopsis: you and your hot new friend, who you’re down cataclysmically for, bump coochies in the woods 👉👌

Warnings: 18+, nsfw, fem bodied reader, praise (use of ‘good girl’), consumption of alcohol, dubcon (since you’re both tipsy), semi-public sex (y’all are at a campsite and it’s implied there are other people nearby), oral (f. receiving), tribbing, edging (kinda), choking (kinda), Himeno is the dominant one but not a dom, gentle biting, mention of masturbation

Other warnings: smoking (cigarettes), Himeno calls Aki an emo twink, age gap (ish, Himeno is about 5-6 years older than reader), there is no puke in this fic even though we have the combination of Himeno and alcohol :), reader is a bit needy and a bit of a perv lol

“You okay?” Himeno’s voice pulled you out of your daydream, and you realized you’d been clutching the armrest by the passenger seat, your knuckles white.

“I’m fine,” you said. “I just zoned out.” 

“I was gonna say, I don’t think I’m that bad of a driver.” She flashed you a smile before looking back at the road. “Although come to think of it, I did fail my permit test about four times.”

“That’s reassuring.” You stretched and yawned, glancing at the clock.

“We should be there by six, and that’ll give us enough light to set up the tent. Unless we fuck up and it takes us forever.”

“Which will probably happen, knowing us.”

“That reminds me, if Aki came with us he’d have his shit together and he certainly wouldn’t have gotten us lost.”

“Well, detours are fun.”

“You’re too kind.”

Aki had dipped out of the trip at the last minute, claiming he was feeling under the weather. He urged you and Himeno to go without him, and as a consolation gift, gave you two bottles of wine to sneak into the campsite. They were rather poorly hidden under the back seat, wrapped in one of your old sweatshirts. You glanced back at the contraband to make sure it wasn’t too conspicuous.

“Hey, do me a favor,” Himeno said, tilting her head towards the lighter sticking out of the cup holder. You nodded and reached for it, as she quickly retrieved the cigarette that was behind her ear. Throughout the long drive to the campsite you’d been the one to light her cigarettes for her while she talked your ear off about whatever came to her mind. She liked that you were a good listener, and you liked the sound of her voice, so it was a win-win.

Your crush on Himeno was a little more obvious than you’d like it to be. As she smoked with one hand gripping the wheel, her window rolled down and the wind whipping her hair around, you caught yourself staring. Your mind wandered, making your face grow hot. You wanted to know what the hand around the wheel would feel like around your neck as she feverishly kissed you. It was rather embarrassing to admit, but when you had time alone, thinking about her sometimes resulted in your hand down the front of your pants.

You’d been friends with Himeno for about six months now, after Aki had introduced the two of you, and ever since you met her you’d get butterflies every time you saw her. She sometimes caught you staring and would give you a knowing smirk, making you quickly look away. You had a feeling she was onto you, but you were never confident enough to say anything. After all, she was five or six years your senior, and she was an enigma of a woman. You could never quite figure her out, whether she was flirting with you or just being herself, and it made you far more anxious than you’d like to admit. 

After you and Himeno finally reached the campsite and spent an embarrassingly long time pitching your tent, you poked around in the back of her car for the bottles of wine while she set up two lawn chairs by the light of an old lantern she dug out of her trunk.

“We forgot to bring glasses,” you called over to her, clutching the bottles to your chest as you kicked the car door closed. 

“One bottle is mine and one is yours, then,” she quipped, and flopped down in her chair. You joined her and muscled open the bottles, passing one to her. She nodded thanks and took a long drink. The two of you sat there for God knows how long, talking and talking until you were almost certain you saw the sun beginning to rise. You curled up in your chair and stifled a yawn, and Himeno noticed and giggled.

“Am I boring you?”

“Not yet.” You tried and failed to hold back another yawn.

“Did I ever tell you about how I cut Aki’s hair that one time?”

“You what?” Your eyes widened, and you started laughing.

“Yup. He fell asleep and I was drunk and found a pair of scissors, and the rest is history. He was so mad at me, I felt terrible, but it was fucking hilarious.”

“He never told me about that.”

“I hurt his pride, that’s why.”

You cocked your head to one side. “Were you guys ever…a thing?”

“Oh, God, no. I wanted us to be at one point, but he made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t interested.” 

“You still like him, don’t you?” you teased, prodding her leg with your toe.

“Oh no, that ship has sailed. And it probably sank too.” She laughed heartily and ran a hand through her hair. “I have a bad habit of falling for emo twinks.”

You snorted, making her laugh even harder. 

“Honestly, though, don’t worry about me. I’m no competition if you’re trying to get a piece of that.” She sighed and leaned further back in the chair, setting the bottle on the ground.

You suddenly stood up and lurched over to her, gripping her chair for balance, and sat right down on her lap, putting your arms around her neck and laying your head on her shoulder. 

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows, surprised. After a few seconds had passed, she timidly placed her hands on your waist. “Did I say something?”

“No,” you sighed, pulling back to look at her. You absentmindedly twirled a lock of her hair between your thumb and forefinger. “Well, kinda.”

“What is it, then?” 

“I have a crush on you.” You hung your head, looking down into your lap. You couldn’t look her in the eyes, you couldn’t stomach it. You heard her sigh, and you prepared yourself for the worst. After a few excruciating seconds, she finally spoke.

“I know,” she said softly, lifting her hand to gently pinch your cheek. “It’s very obvious.” Your eyes widened. 

“Is it really?” You looked back up at her, and she nodded. There was a glint in her eye that wasn’t there before. 

“Are you gonna do anything about it?” she asked you, that same knowing smirk spreading across her face. 

You kissed her without hesitation, making her giggle against your lips. You felt her squeeze your waist and pull you a little closer until you were snug against her. She gently laid her hand on the back of your head and slid her tongue against yours, making a soft moan slip out of your mouth. 

She pulled away and looked at you quizzically, still smirking. You stared in disbelief. You’d really done it, you’d kissed her. It could only get so much better or so much worse.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, still in a trance. 

“Don’t apologize.”

She suddenly snaked an arm underneath your thighs and picked you up bridal style, making you squeal, and you held on tight as she carried you in the direction of the tent. She smelled like sweat and sunscreen and smoke, but in a way that was strangely pleasant to you. She grunted as she struggled with the flap of the tent, and you felt yourself beginning to slip.

“If you drop me, I swear to God,” you giggled. 

“Fuckin’ help me, then!”

After a comically long struggle with the tent flap that did indeed involve being dropped by Himeno, she stumbled into the tent and pulled you down onto the cot with her, making you laugh even harder. She zipped the door closed, and crawled over to straddle your waist.

“Are you putting me to bed?” You squinted up at her, your eyes adjusting to the dim light inside the tent. 

“Yeah, something like that.” 

“Are you gonna kill me or something?” You started laughing again, blindly reaching for her, and you felt her grab your hand and squeeze it. She leaned in closer to you, hovering over you and smiling, her hair brushing against your face. You blinked up at her, doe-eyed.

“You’re so cute,” she marveled.

“You think so?”

“Mmm-hmm. And you’re all mine.” She leaned down to press kisses to your neck, gently nipping your skin every now and then and eliciting whimpers from you. Her fingertips felt cool and soothing brushing against your flushed skin, and you felt her tug at the hem of your shirt. You raised your arms to help her remove it, and she resumed her kisses once she tugged it off you. 

“You’re not wearing a bra.”

“Brilliant, Holmes.”

She snort-laughed and poked you in the rib, making you yelp. 

“You have pretty tits.”

“Thank you?”

“No, I mean it. They’re cute.” She brushed some hair out of your eyes and smiled at you. “I want them in my mouth.”

You burst out laughing again, thankful that the dim light was hiding the raging blush spreading across your cheeks. Himeno gave your neck one more gentle nip before moving her hand up to cup your left breast. She inched further down and swirled her tongue around your nipple, making you gasp. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” she whispered between kisses, and you felt her start to move further down, her fingers slipping under the waistband of your shorts. You almost immediately lifted your hips to help her pull them down, and she chuckled at your eagerness. 

Once she’d completely undressed you, she sat back on her heels and ran a hand through her hair, looking down at you with hazy eyes. 

“Please touch me more,” you blurted out, reaching out and gripping her arm as she ghosted her fingertips across your bare skin, making you shiver with anticipation. 

“What do you want me to do?” she asked you, her lips curling up into a cheeky grin. She continued brushing her fingertips against your skin, just barely touching you and avoiding where you needed her most. 

Your breathing had gotten shaky and erratic, and you couldn’t think of anything other than her, the sound of her voice, the intensity of her touch. You looked up at her with pleading eyes, your grip on her arm tightening.

“Please fuck me,” you whispered, and she smiled and leaned down to peck your forehead.

“Good girl. That’s what I wanted to hear.” She gently spread your legs and crawled down to settle in between them. She hooked her arms around your thighs and looked up to you inquisitively, silently asking your consent. You nodded vigorously, making her laugh. 

She was so close to you now, her grip on your hips making your skin tingle and her hot breath fanning against your aching pussy. You let out a surprised whimper when she finally flattened her tongue against your pussy, licking a thick stripe all the way up to your clit. She continued, making you squirm and whine and grind against her face each time she flicked her tongue against your clit. 

It was close to the best feeling you’d ever felt, the strong grip of her hands on your hips, the sloppy kisses she’d give your clit when your thighs tensed around her head.  She pulled away right before you could get your satisfaction, making you huff and whine in frustration.

“You gotta be quiet, baby.” She rested her head on your thigh and smiled up at you, gently rubbing your lower stomach. 

“I-I’m sorry, I- fuck!” She resumed going down on you, making you squirm and cry out. You brought a shaky hand up to your mouth, and grabbed a messy handful of her hair with the other. Your thighs shook and your back arched as you came, your eyes rolling back as you tried not to scream from the pleasure. She finally pulled away when you gave her hair a harsh tug, and crawled up to kiss you, silencing your whimpers. 

“You okay?” she asked you upon pulling away, brushing some hair away from your sweaty forehead. You nodded, your chest still heaving as you tried to catch your breath. She pecked your forehead and sat back up, straddling your waist. 

“I wanna try something,” she whispered, and your eyes grew wide as she peeled off her shirt and started to unhook her bra. “It’ll feel really good. I promise.” You nodded.

“Don’t just stare, help me,” she giggled, noticing your gaze. You quickly propped yourself up and started to unbutton her shorts, which she flung into the corner of the tent along with her underwear after some shuffling around in the dark. After pushing your legs apart, she inched closer to you, and lifted your right leg so your calf rested on her shoulder. 

“Stay like this for me, okay?” You nodded obediently, awaiting her next move. She gently ran a hand over your lower stomach and lowered her hips to meet yours.

You gasped and grabbed her hand as she started grinding against you, and she chuckled quietly, giving your hand a tight squeeze. 

“I told you.”

She gripped your leg with one hand as the movement of her hips became more rhythmic, letting the other wander over your bare skin. She brushed her fingertips across your stomach, then your tits, then gently placed her hand around your neck and squeezed ever-so-slightly, at which you arched your back and let out a breathy moan. She chuckled and maintained her gentle grip on your throat, her gaze fixed on the way your face contorted in pleasure with each thrust of her hips.

“That feel good?” she asked you breathlessly, knowing you could barely form the words to answer her. You could only nod and whine in response, making her lips curl upwards into a satisfied smile. She could tell you were close by the way you were breathing, the way the muscles of your thighs and calves and stomach tensed as she touched you. She was quite close herself too, sweating and flushed and barely able to control the movement of her hips.

You clawed at her arm, your eyes wide and almost frantic, and she held eye contact with you as you came undone beneath her, firmly pressing her hand over your mouth to muffle your whines. Her own orgasm soon followed, and she let out a low moan, her fingernails digging into your calf and making you whine in pain and pleasure. 

She pressed sloppy, open-mouthed kisses to your calf as she rode out her orgasm, then gently pulled away from you and rolled onto your back. You instinctively reached out for her, and she pulled you in, sighing contently. You wrapped your arms around her and snuggled tighter against her.

“You okay?” she whispered, smoothing out your messy hair. You nodded and pulled back a little to look at her, smiling with hazy eyes. 

“Can I take you out for breakfast tomorrow?” you asked, resting your forehead against hers. 

“I would love that. I’m paying though, you can’t change my mind.”

You huffed in protest. “Fine, as long as you let me be big spoon.” 

She grinned.

“Deal.”

[soda-gremlin]

The Newer Thea Sisters Books Aren’t as Good as the Older Ones, and Here’s Why

Yes yes, I know I am beating a dead horse here, but I have noticed quite a few patterns when it comes to the newer books, specifically why I don’t like them. So here is my comprehensive list of traits that make the newer books so lackluster.

1. No Continuity

And no, I am not simply referring to small details, like the name of a celebrity that has already been established. What I am referring to, is both the lack of reference to previous books even when relevant, and the complete absence of background knowledge. Let me explain.

So, y’all have read Mystery on the Orient Express, right? If you haven’t, major spoilers ahead. The villains turn out to be a set of identical twins, Dimitri and Leon. But first, before discovering that fact, the Thea Sisters had to tangle with the conundrum of Dimitri’s hand, and why the burn kept disappearing and reappearing. It took them quite a bit of time to work that out because, well, they’d never seen that before. And they’re still new to mystery-solving.

However, in a later book, (spoilers for Phantom of the Orchestra) they are confused by a character named John’s seemingly contradictory behavior, like greeting them like old friends one minute, and acting like they never met the next minute. But here’s the thing. They’ve seen this before, in Mystery of the Orient Express. That shouldn’t have been a huge twist. They shouldn’t have taken that long to figure that out, because they’ve seen it before.

Need another example? So, a common trope in the newer books is that one of the side characters aiding them mysteriously goes missing. Then it turns out, they were kidnapped/led away. It happens almost every single time. Riddle of the Ruins, Niagara Splash, you get the idea. But every single time, the girls dick around like, “Oh no, I wonder where John Doe could have POSSIBLY went” GIRLIEPOPS. THIS AINT YOUR FIRST RODEO. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.

I get it, they want the series to be episodic and all that, but when it’s actively hurting the story’s writing, and when quite a few readers have read previous books, it ends up detrimental instead of convenient.

2. The Forgettable Side Characters

Have any of you read the Mouseford series, or the graphic novels? If you have, you’re probably familiar with Vanilla (Ruby), Vic (Ryder), Shen, Craig, Tanya (Tanja), and Dina (Elly). All pretty well-established side characters, some even making an appearance in the beginning of the original series’ books.

Clearly, they have a very diverse cast of side characters in their roster. Shen being a sweet, bookish nerd, Craig being a himbo jock, Vic being a chaotic neutral rich boy, Vanilla being your average spoiled rich girl, you get the idea.

So I bet they bring one along on the girls’ adventures to spice up the story, right? Bringing in a fresh new perspective on the story’s events and a refreshing deviation in recurring character dynamics, while also expanding on the side characters themselves. Right?

WRONG

Instead, they make up a character to use as a plot device. I hesitate to even call them characters, because they have no personality. They’re all the same cookie cutter cardboard cutouts again and again. Especially the new male characters.

Can you tell me a SINGLE unique trait about Didier, Ioannis, Mateo, or Akhun?

Can you even tell me which books they’re from?

Of course you can’t! You probably don’t even remember they existed! (Unless they’re your blorbo, in that case, you have my sympathies…)

So instead of using the more interesting and established side characters from Mouseford, they just stick in a plot device of a character and call it a day.

In the older books, the new characters were memorable. Take Ashvin for example, aka, the only character’s name in this category I didn’t have to look up. He had an actual character. He was impulsive, reckless, but had a strong moral code. Contrast that to the new books’ Forgettable Twink #12.

3. Less Emphasis on Culture

This section will be shorter, due to me not really being any of these cultures, and being American, but I still think it’s worth covering.

The idea of the Thea Sisters exploring new countries and cultures is not new. I’d wager that’s the very purpose of the books, to expand the worldviews of impressionable children.

However, in the newer books, it feels a lot more shallow. As in, “a leaflet you got at an airport” shallow. They just barely scrape the surface, and call it a day. Only covering well known foods and internationally known traditions/practices. It’s like if Cherry Blossom Adventure only had the Thea Sisters eating sushi and learning about ninjas or origami. It does that country a massive disservice, especially if you’re native, or even if you’ve just lived there.

This is due to the newer books having the girls see the country through the eyes of a tourist rather than getting immersed in the life of a local.

Take Mountain of Fire for example, they are thrust headfirst into Nicky’s home country. They’re not put up in a hotel in the touristy part of the country, they’re in Nicky’s ranch, experiencing the wildlife, as well as what it’s like to live so far from the city. They see the natural wonders of Australia, as well as learning from the Aboriginal peoples living around the area, including Nicky’s family.

4. Boring Conflict

This one is pretty straightforward. The conflicts in the newer books feel so boring, almost sanitized in a way. There are no real stakes. In the older books, there were many consequences laid out if the villain succeeded. An important link to a dying art would have been lost, the livelihood of Pam’s family business would have been compromised, and not to mention, PEOPLE COULD HAVE DIED.

But now it’s like, “Oh nooo, a single piece from a model is missing, and it’s gonna lose the contest, whatever shall we do 🥺🥺 It’s not like we can recreate it or anything”

There is nothing compelling about the conflicts or its villains. We have no reason to be at the edge of our seats like with Mystery of the Orient Express, where Pam and Nicky LITERALLY CLIMB ON TOP OF A TRAIN TO CATCH THE THIEF BEFORE HE CAN GET AWAY

But now it just feels like a fetch quest of clues, and a wild goose chase for good measure. And just lot of fapping about in general.

I also have to bring up villains. They’re having the same issue as the side characters. They’re all the same greedy, shifty characters that are so obviously up to something.

Final Thoughts

I think all of these flaws can basically boil down to the fact that every book feels like the same story, over and over again, just with different names. (There are some exceptions, but my point still stands)

And just one more note I have is that, I wish the Thea Sisters got more personality to them. Like, I wish they acted like an actual friend group, not like how kids shows love portraying friend groups. Which is a group of girls all nice to each other all the damn time. There’s no depth, there’s no added dynamics that make the friend group feel real. The dialogue is all so flat. I need banter, I need inside jokes, I need playful jabs at one another, I need each sister having a different relationship with one another. We don’t want perfect, we want interesting. (But this isn’t exclusively a newer book issue, so I didn’t put it in the main list)

Aaaannndddd that’s about all I’ve got for you today! Hope you enjoyed this little rant/analysis!!

[crazylittlejester]

This might get venty so def pass over if u want- I apologize in advance😅

Being a Wars fan is definitely exhausting in the lu fandom as a whole, to a degree I’ve never experienced in past fandoms. I’ve been all around, from DC to HP, Undertale to Voltron (shudders), and many, many more. And honestly I can’t remember a time a character was more universally disliked for,, no clear reason? From villains to irritating characters, I’ve never seen this much negativity and, honestly, near bullying of a character. Shipping wars? 10000% yes. But individual character hating? It’s.. extreme.

It isn’t simple dislike either. From being made incompetent to being the butt of a joke, Wars is just.. dogpiled. And at first it was funny, but it’s gotten to a point that I can’t read other fics because Wars is just so poorly treated/portrayed that it’s disheartening. From mocking of his figure, to claiming he’s vain or a womanizer (derogatory), and even ignoring his background all together.

I think part of it comes from not knowing his game, so they don’t have a basis of his character. Honestly though that could be easily remedied by watching a few cutscenes or reading the plot synopsis of his game. I also think that some people just,, look at his vainer moments in the comic and say “this is all he is” rather than the additional moments when he displays his skills, or pulling his weight as a co-leader. Some people just see what they wanna see ig.

Overall I always try to not dwell on it because everyone is free to love the characters they love and express that, I just wish that it didn’t come at the cost of one of the characters being so plainly disliked and nearly hated. But I swear I’ve seen Dink get more love than Wars, and all we’ve seen from him is a freaking lizard!!!-

anyway, sorry this was so long, my Wars loving self has been holding this in for awhile and I just hate how short a stick Wars got in the lot. He 1000% deserves more love fr

I’ve seen too many fics where people outright villainize Wars in order to create more angst for other members of the chain and that’s INSANE to me. And Wars content has been seriously hard to find, especially last year, which is part of why I started writing so much Wars stuff 😭 He’s my favorite and I gotta feed the other Wars fans

I genuinely don’t get why some people actively dislike him, like am I biased? Absolutely. but i just dont understand?? is there some reason why people can look at like, Wild, for example, and go “OH MY GOD SO ACTUALLY-“ and go into a super deep beautiful well written character analysis but when it comes to Wars people are just like “womanizer twink” and that’s it?

(to clarify: this is NOT a dig at Wild fans, y’all are valid for liking your blorbo. I’m just using him as an example because I’ve seen a lot of really interesting takes on him, some of which are VERY different from each other. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all! He was just the first Link I thought of who has a lot of fans with a lot of theories and opinions alskljskslm. Y’all keep going crazy for your special guy 🫡)

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,133 Words

Summary: Eclipse makes a groupchat with the other Eclipses to chaotic outcomes.

Warnings: Crack, Cursing, Caps, Death (mentioned only), Abuse (mentioned only), Minor Injury (mentioned), let me know if I should add anything else.

The Eclipses Chat: Chapter 1

8:42am

Eclipse has created a chatroom

Eclipse has named the chat to ‘Whomst The Fuck?’

Eclipse has added 9 people to ‘Whomst The Fuck?’

Eclipse: Okay, I need help? Fist of all where am I? And second how did I get here? Third, how get all your numbers at the same time?

Eclipse: …Ah fuck what the hell?

Eclipse: Hold on what?

Eclipse: Okay, I might be too high then.

Eclipse: ARE WE ALL ECLIPSE!?

Eclipse: Seems like it, buddy.

Eclipse: Okay, some of us have to change our screen names.

Eclipse: Already on it for mine.

Eclipse has changed their name to Solar

Solar: So much better.

Eclipse: How did you do that!?

Solar: Depends who I’m giving advice to.

Eclipse: Swapped dimension, Moon is the evil one.

Solar: Ah. Gotcha. So you hit the icon in the top right and it’ll say settings, click that then go to change name and change it.

Eclipse had changed their name to Orbit

Orbit: Thank god. I’m too high for this. I’m going to sleep now. Thanks Solar.

Eclipse has changed their name to God

Solar: No.

Solar has changed God’s name to Venus

Solar: None of that shit.

Venus: I hate you and your little boyfriend too.

Solar: NOT MY BOYFRIEND SHUT UP HE’S AROACE

Venus: I have better things to do than bother with you.

Venus is offline

Eclipse: Can I get help?

Solar: Who be thee?

Eclipse: … I’ll be honest I don’t know.

Eclipse: Well, are you good?

Eclipse: idk

Eclipse has changed their name to Rigel

Rigel: Hi Solar!!!!! 🥰💞💘

Solar: Hi Ruin.

Rigel: Look, I picked a name too!

Solar: I can see that, Rigel. Good job.

Eclipse: Y’all in love or something?

Solar: Listen, he just found out emojis exist. Let him have fun with them.

Eclipse has changed their name to Helix

Helix: Excuse me wtf? How did the Eclipse that started this shit get my number? I literally live in space! I didn’t even know I had a number! What!?

Solar: Ooooh, you’re the one with Lord Lunar.

Helix: Yes, I’m the one with Selene.

Solar: Interesting.

Eclipse: Can I please be helped already?

Eclipse: We don’t even know who you are!

Eclipse: I’m apparently named Eclipse!? idfk!? I’m confused too!

Helix: Start with this, pick a damn name, kid!

Eclipse has changed their name to Comet

Eclipse had changed their name to Umbra

Helix: Wait, which is which?

Comet: Someone please get me down? I feel like a cat in a tree rn. Why am I here?

Solar: That’s how we all feel, buddy. What’s wrong?

Comet: I’m currently trapped in the dark in I think a ceiling? I can’t get down and it’s dark. I don’t know where I am but I hear the daycare song.

Solar: That does not narrow it down.

Helix: Okay, so are you in a dimension where Sun and Moon are alive?

Comet: Debatably yes.

Solar: Okay so a ‘dead Moon’ universe. Alright. Getting somewhere. Is Lunar alive in this universe?

Comet: Yes.

Orbit: Are you in a universe Kill Code became good and is now dead in?

Comet: I believe so yes.

Solar: Alright that’s only three dimensions. Are Earth and Sun dead?

Comet: No.

Solar: Are one of the Blood Moon AIs and the Creator dead?

Comet: No.

Solar: Hold on a minute.

Solar: Make a loud noise rn, Comet.

Solar: Motherfucker, I HEAR YOU UPSTAIRS! Hold on!

Comet: OW

Solar: Not my fault you fell out of the ceiling head-first!

Comet: I was just made and I’m already being abused.

Solar: Oh please. Abused my ass.

Helix: Well, we are all twinks so… you do have an ass.

Solar: Shut up, Helix.

Helix: I will not be silenced and you can’t make me!

Solar: Don’t tempt me.

Orbit: Question, how did he even get there?

Solar: Fuck if I know.

Comet: I have no fucking clue.

Rigel: Scan him then. 🥰👻🫣

Solar: You know what? I didn’t think of that. Thanks Rigel.

Comet: Thanks Rigel.

9:57am

Whomst The Fuck?

Solar: Apparently remade original universe Eclipse and Comet is the result.

Comet: He gave me cotton candy. I like cotton candy. I like Solar, he’s nice.

Umbra: Wait, they what? Who did it?

Solar: Someone named Void? No other traces but it’s someone I don’t know at least.

Helix: Selene says that’s one of the six Lord Kill Codes. The asshole one specifically. Apparently he’s been recreating Eclipses from other worlds and sending them out.

Solar: What a son of a bitch.

Comet: So what do I do?

Solar: Well, you’re basically blank so welcome to the family. I’ll send you somewhere safe before someone tries to kill you.

Comet: Excuse me, what?

Solar: Yeah, Moon has a grudge so you’re gonna get poofed somewhere he won’t immediately kill you.

Umbra: Send him to me, I’m in the Toronto bunker.

Solar: Wait what?

Umbra: Hi, I’m the original Eclipse of the world I assume you’re in too. Send me my twin.

Solar: Alright, guess you’re going to Toronto, Comet.

Umbra: I have a spare bedroom I’m already setting up for you. What colors do you like?

Comet: Um

Comet: Purple

Umbra: Alright. I’ll have it set up by the time he sends you to me.

Comet: I’m so confused.

Helix: You and everyone else, Comet.

Comet: What is my life?

Orbit: Adopted at birth.

Comet: I hate everything.

Umbra: Shut up, at least you get your favorite color and a place to be safe in.

Comet: I hate everything a bit less now.

Umbra: What foods do you like, kid? Cough it up.

Comet: Cotton candy, coffee. Solar is giving me coffee and Chinese right now.

Umbra: How dare yo. That was gonna be my first thing to do with him.

Solar: You lack the already-here points on feeding the new child.

Helix: It feels like I’m on the sidelines of a custody agreement.

Umbra: You are.

Solar: You are, Helix.

Comet: Do I get a say in this or do I just get two dads?

Solar: You just get two dads.

Umbra: 50/50 custody agreement.

Umbra: Kid, what foods are you allergic to? It should be listed in your Health Information Settings in your arm computer.

Comet: It says dairy and red meat.

Umbra: Doable. Thank you. Do you have a favorite food yet?

Comet: Sweet things and Chinese food.

Umbra: Alright, kid. You’ll have sweet things and Chinese food fully stocked when you get here.

Comet: I kind of like having two dads actually.

Solar: I sure hope so, you’re forever going to be stuck in a loop of ‘go ask your father’.

Comet: I’m fine with that. As long as I keep getting candy.

Solar: Yes, you’ll keep getting candy.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

the “izzy would be just as upset if ed fell in love with a woman!” argument for why izzy’s actions in s1 are not homophobic are so interesting bc like.

have you never seen a group of guys all rag on their buddy for spending time with their girlfriend? have y’all never heard the “oh, i guess we know who wears the pants” joke when a guy carries his girlfriend’s purse? have we seriously never heard the phrase “pussy-whipped” before?

like. look at this picture. think about what it’s saying. “doing what your girlfriend says is bad,” for one. bad how? bad as in emasculating, bad as in it makes you less of a man, bad as in skinny naked twink posed like the start of a porno. bad as in gay. we’re getting to where the cishetero patriarchy really loses all logic, because this picture is saying, “listening to your girlfriend is gay.”

it overlaps. it all fucking overlaps. gender roles and misogyny and homophobia all tangle together and it’s nearly impossible to say where one starts and where the other begins. it’s emasculating for men fall in love and genuinely care about their partner, even if their partner is a woman. it’s emasculating for a man to wear a pink apron and clean the floors nude. it’s emasculating for a man to paint his nails and cry in a blanket fort and sing a song about his feelings.

in a modern setting, ed’s response to getting dumped by stede is the sort of thing that a group of douchey cishet guys would call gay, even if ed had gotten dumped by a woman. throughout the whole season, ed becoming happier, opening up, spending more time with stede instead of doing his usual brooding tough guy act would be called gay by that same group of douchey cishet guys even if stede were a woman. ed making loud high-pitched moans on the deck of the ship while he was sword fighting with stede would also!! get called gay!!!! even if that group of shitty guys thought ed was getting it on with a woman!!!!!!!!!

(and i am not saying izzy is cishet. frankly, i don’t personally care about izzy’s sexuality wild for the straight izzy guy to not care about izzy’s sexuality, i know. i am saying that izzy’s ideas about masculinity reflect a certain type of modern douchebag. even if izzy’s gay, that doesn’t make him exempt from having homophobic and sexist ideas about gender.)

and this show is written for a modern western audience. outside of like, the concept of an arranged marriage, this show makes no efforts to portray societal norms and gender roles with any real historical accuracy. this show is a deconstruction of modern toxic masculinity, told through a comedic and ahistorical setting of 1717 piracy. the characters of ofmd are up against the same cishetero patriarchy that says “caring about your girlfriend is gay” in our world.

so yes. even if izzy were upset that ed was falling in love with a woman. izzy would still be sexist. and izzy would still be homophobic. hope this helps <3

[deathbyoctopi]

making a rec list so I don’t forget

It’s more or less a year since I got started in the Chinese series, and I want to share Opinions with y’all!! 😁😁

I’ll place them more or less in preference order, with tiers and whatnot, so of COURSE we have to start with:

GOD TIER (aka. The absolute best) 

The Untamed. Amazing. Can’t say much without rambling for six hours, so I’ll just say this was a wonderfully addictive thing to discover. Saw the series and donghua, read the manhua and the books, got me hearing some bits of the audiobook too and I’m going insane with the fanfics and fanart. Dead evil overlord resuscitates and meets childhood classmate, they solve mysteries and go on adventures together, which both isn’t and is an euphemism. 

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DEMI-GOD TIER (because there’s really only one untamed):  

Heaven Official’s Blessing. Going with the books here, bc the gods immortal know when (If!) we’re getting a series of that one. But the story is interesting, the characters very likable, the main ship is downright adorable... And what little donghua we’ve got so far was delightful (praying for that one not to be discontinued, plzzz). Twink God with the worst luck imaginable meets piss-your-pants-scary Ghost King and they go on adventures together. Still an euphemism. 

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun: Another book/manhua rec, bc I’m looking just as forward to get the series, and who knows... This one has a base concept that comes straight from fanfic dreamland!!! In the best way possible, too! Reccomending this having read only 2 books so far, but it feels warranted. Evil overlord goes back in time to his youth and decides not to repeat the mistakes of his first life. The mistakes follow him, tho. Also, he’s so horny for his shizun, who he Hates™ very much. 

Word of honor. A series so bent on showing everything they can of the main characters relationship without showing it that it may have changed the gears in censorship ^^U I found the story a bit confusing, with a myriad sects and intrigues, but the character dynamics are so fascinating!!! (Speaking only for the series, haven’t read the book). Angsty repentant master spy with a Mysterious Past wants to go die in peace, but handsome leech with a Mysterious Past says otherwise. 

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MUST TIER (Very recommendable! I’d force-feed all those to you if I knew where you live)

Blood of youth. A series (maybe a book and manhua, idk) about a dumbass young hero that wants to prove himself in the martial art world, a mysterious youth obsessed with money and a handsome (and also mysterious) monk with almost godlike powers entangled in a conspiracy that reaches deep in the Imperial palace... Engaging story and characters, particularly the supporting roles, because even though they’re not the focus, they’re memorable enough to feel relevant. 

Scum Villain Self-Saving System. Books (NEVER mind the very short, strangely paced digital art donghua) about a man transmigrated to the martial art world from a trash webnovel he loves to complain about. He’s the villain there, and doesn’t want to be for the life of him precisely because it will kill him unless he can get in the main character’s good graces. And he does that. All too well XD

Sleuth of the Ming dynasty. A series (is there a book? I’d like to read it) about an official of the Imperial Government who solves cases. No world-breaking powers, no flying swords, just very real crime and clues and palace intrigues (the Imperial family are recurring characters). The main two characters are an absolute delight: the Detective, who is brilliant and socially clumsy, and nevertheless manages to leech off the Soldier to the point that gets in his house and manages to get a lifelong loyalty out of him. 

Thousand autumns. There’s a donghua, which is as weird and uncanny as the svsss one, but since the books got recently translated I’m going more with those. Handsome Horrible Man Extraordinaire harasses, gaslights, bullies and almost kidnaps Pretty-Faced Frail Twink, and they end up invariably together. I can barely remember the story, something something Book Of Martial Arts Awesomeness that everyone and their mother wants, but that’s irrelevant. The story is worth it just because of those two idiots. 

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OK TIER (Recommend if you’re bored and want something entertaining, but not life-changing)

Birth of the drama king. A half-serious, half-silly series about two warring sects that sic spies on each other. One might be too successful, almost getting attached to the other sect’s leader, because (presumably) they are long-lost brothers. The story is decent, but an absolute point on its favour is the (very handsome, if only a bit lackluster) role of Song Jiyang as doctor Yan. And the fact that he’s so serious, while being the Universe’s punchbag. Seriously, he gets hilariously abused in almost every episode. Love it.  

Till the end of the moon. A long, epic battle between good an evil with a romance so strong that can (well, ought to) defy destiny and the will of the gods. If it wasn’t for all the miscommunication!!!! >:3  This one was very difficult for me to place in this list, because what is good about this series is marvelous, and what is bad (boring or frustrating) is almost painful to sit through. Of the latter, the aforementioned lack of talking skills of these two endlessly suffering dumbasses and the epic battles, which do nothing for me, though might be great for other people. And the good things... if the whole series had been like the first ten or so episodes, this would be now in the demi-god tier. The premise!!! The execution!!!! The acting!!!!! Give me the whole early stage of Tantai Jin and Ye Xiwu’s marriage, up to that new year, and nothing else!!! After that, it’s a slow but sure decline.

Stick to the script. An extremely self-aware comedy sketch show with the transmigration premise and an almost surreal beat. The main point is of course Wang Haoxuan, but it also has good puns, quick humor and at least a couple scenes so absurd I had to laugh out loud. But the episodes are so short!!! I found that very distracting, they last only 2-3 minutes each. I enjoyed it MUCH MORE finding a compilation on youtube. It lasts 2 hours in total, so it’s very manageable like that :)

Be my cat. Another series with an absurd premise, and amusingly self-aware, but sweet and occasionally fun enough to be worth a watch. The plot is about a girl who receives from her cultivator brother (who’s gone missing) a sphere with a yao cat, that escapes and possesses the dying body of a young general. The resulting human-shaped cat forms a reluctant bond with her, and she enlists his help to find her brother and the other three lost animal spheres, with their respective yao that wreck havoc. 

Dance of the phoenix. A series about a young cultivator girl whose powers and memories are stolen, so she has to fend for herself while attracting an alarming number of suitors, old rivals and admirers. The plot is serviceable at best, and the characters not very interesting... but the effects are quite good, and damn my weakness, it has Wang Haoxuan too!! The ending was mightily confusing, tho. I have no idea what that was about.  

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PASS TIER (Watching that wasn’t technically a mistake, but... ugh) 

Immortal Samsara. Yess, it’s well-made and well-acted, but the story is soooo slow!!! And soooooo boring!!!!! The character’s actions don’t make sense more often than not, she subtleties of their behaviour clashes with some very drastic and unreasonable course of action, the lack of communication in this one is downright painful to behold... Only the second third gets a bit interesting, the stakes are higher and the characters finally less stiff and more enjoyable, but bloody hell... It’s not worth it, not at all. 

[isnorted12pixisticks]

Hi pokies, as someone who’s been in the fandom for a hot sec I have some opinions

So buckle up or just scroll past because this is a long one it’s just me word vomiting into the void at this point

Burner account because some of y’all scare me 😘😘

‼️‼️THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS ‼️‼️

Ocean

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1. Wtf is y’all’s hate boner with her?

2. I have no clue where y’all got the idea that ocean parents are like these horrible abusive people. Like neglectful? Definitely . But I don’t think that Mr and Mrs offers their kid to take a hit off their bong are going to be incredibly strict and physically abusive towards her.

3. Ocean just a shity person with a superiority complex and that’s ok. she doesn’t need horrible stuff happening to her to justify that

4.Ocean was a bad friend to Constance, she was constantly putting her down through back handed remarks and talking over her “ she has self esteem issues why wouldn’t she?” “ do we really need another organ donor?” And not to mention her say that she believed that Constance did nothing with her life.

Noel

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1. For the love of god stop making him an uwu soft boy twink <- this is not directed at people who just draw/ Write him with more feminine traits I do the same. I’m talking about those who infantilize him as the helpless soft boy who just needs a big strong man (Mischa) in his life and suddenly everything will be ok

2. I hate The Noel is Talia through either a code name or straight up catfish theory

A. The catfishing theory is problematic at best. Yes let’s take the single openly gay character and have him prey on another man character for his own satisfaction. Idk if Mischa’s cool with it in your fanfic it’s still weird

B. To me at least, Talia as a code name for noel just takes away the whole meaning behind her character. Talia is Mischa’s last connection to Ukrain. We see throughout the musical he was constantly trying to text her meaning they spoke constantly. She was his one and only lifeline, something for him to focus on and push through his shity situation to get to

Mischa

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1. I beg of y’all stop himboafying this man, I get he’s big and strong but he’s not dumb😭

A. Mischas smart guys!!!! I get alot of actors portray him struggling with English at times but y’all got to remember fluency ≠ intelligence gance. it’s like his 3rd language cut him some slack. he speaks Ukrainian, Russian, English, and even some Dutch ( not even the Dutch speak Dutch)

B. Just look at his saw6 monologue! Man had an in-depth video essay explaining on a horror movie just ready to go when ocean put him on the spot

C. Mischa can be incredibly eloquent with his words when he wants to be. Ex his Talia monologue/ when he tells Noel he knows what clichés are

2. Listen Im obsessed with Gus halper so I get it we love his mischa BUT DONT COMMENT ABOUT HIM ON NON GUS MISCHAS

Talia

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1. Stop 👏 hating 👏 on 👏 Talia 👏

A. I’ve seen so many people make Talia just a straight bitch in fanfics to justify Mischa not being with her and that feels weird to me

2. The amount of people I’ve seen straight up hating on Talia for doing absolutely nothing but “stand in the way of nischa” is wild. Like I don’t get how you can look at her, a character who doesn’t even have a single line and be like ya no fuck you

Ricky

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1. I revoke my previous statement , I’ve seen some people ( mostly rp accounts) be weird ableist to not only Ricky as a character but his actors and I don’t need to explain why that’s gross

Jane

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1. Honestly I don’t have anything to say here I haven’t really seen anything granted it is pretty hard to mess up a character who’s whole point is shes a blank slate

Constance

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1. I think a lot of the fandom is guilty of seeing constance as just the “ sweet nice wholesome mom friend of the group” when (to me at least) the whole point of Constance was that people thought she was this, was because the never bothered to get to know her past that .

2. In her monologue it’s heavily hinted at that Constance was suffering with depression leading up to the cyclone.

A. Ontop of this we can see throughout musical she was self deprecating “Lost her virginity in a crap box in a crappy town, why of course she did.” you should always laugh at guys jokes otherwise they’ll think your a cow” AND PEOPLE DONT TALK ABOUT THSI ENOUGH

3. Also I dont get the “mom of the group” thing. Like she was nice to everyone and ocean mentioned that she baked but that’s about it

4. I don’t thinks it’s acknowledged enough that Constance was SAd. I don’t care if she wanted to loose her virginity, shes under aged and by Constance’s own emissions the carny was in his 30s

The fandom

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1. Listen I love some angst as much as the next person but there’s a difference between angst and just some straight up hurt p*rn (especially with ocean, again wtf is y’all hate boner for her) I’ve seen literal SA fics written about her wtf

2.This one goes out specifically to you rtc rp accounts😘😘😘 (both on and off this app) there’s a time and a place to rp guys

A. If you're talking to other rp accounts then pop off. But That being said I’ve seen a lot of rp accounts bleed over into non rp post/ videos, while this is normally fine I’ve seen quite a few accounts pushing their head cannons on other non rp accounts as if their facts or an authority on the matter. Again nothing wrong with rp accounts / sharing your head cannons, just time and place guys

3. Look I get it plenty of the actors/ actresses that have been in rtc are attractive but some of y’all need to remember the characters themselves ARE CHILDREN

4. On the topic of the actors/ actresses some of y’all need to learn what boundaries are 

5. I saw someone try to pull some pro ship bullshit with the characters once and it haunts me

Rtc

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Listen. I absolutely love ride the cyclone, I’ve been hyper fixatingon it for the past years now that being said I’ve seen more than enough productions to get my fair share of opinions on it

1. Real Ukrainian war footage in Talia

A. It feels in very poor taste at best and just strange up gross at worst to the situation at hand. I get it Mischa’s Ukrainian and that’s a very important part to his character but that doesn’t mean you need to throw real war footage to the end of the song.

B. Talia and mischa story as a whole is tragic enough as is. You don’t need to add in the fact that on top of Talia possibly not even being real we’re now throwing in the possibility that she died in the war? It just seems like over kill to me.

2: Ricky’s disability being written out of the script was really gross. Like I get it they wanted to avoid another yannick situation but this like the worst possible way to go about it

There probably more but I’ve been at this for like 2 hrs (I’m going to update this as things come to me so stay tuned)

[backdraft-bimbo]

i’m so glad this season is described as “just vibes” with less spiderwebbing plot-lines. the only part of GO i was interested in (and this might just be my Gay Agenda talking) was crowley and aziraphale. i had little interest in any of the other characters just because the relationship between those guys and actors was so strong and well crafted; it made anything else seem mundane. i skip through the whole adam and anathema and witchfinder arcs during rewatches just because they’re not all that interesting; not in comparison.

i’m so excited for this season because they Know what we want as fans and are willing to put it to screen. and personally i can’t wait to see michael and david explore intimacy in a way that we not only didn’t expect (queer media trauma is real folks) but also just assumed we’d never actually get. most people were used to the bare ass minimum until indisputable and thoughtful queer media started coming out.

this sounds so cheesy but it shaped me into a better person, getting to see queer people be intimate on screen. it normalized something i’ve been trying to manifest my entire conscious life (no literally) through fan works and especially fan fiction.

additionally hollywood loves thin and traditionally attractive people. ofmd and good omens have totally turned that on its head and i feel like there’s a greater appreciation and acceptance of normal bodies being represented on screen. this is just speculation but i suspect michael sheen and rhys darby specifically never had a fandom advocate so hard for them at such a life stage. and i feel really happy that they do get to experience that as a demographic (older people) that often gets told that they lose their value because they’ve aged, and thus become less marketable.

you see this when people draw the boys all skinny and hot and young; something i’m not gonna write to the president about but it’s clear that people depicting them to fit the hollywood standard is a reflection of their own perception of beauty. so i don’t care for all this talk about “oh that outfit is so ugly!” or “his beard is weird” because LMAO my outfits have been ugly! if i had a beard, i would make questionable fashion choices! (personally i love crowley’s looks, they’re goofy and fun and fit the vibe of the show, i think it’s pointless even arguing about their personal aesthetics so long as they fit the context and their characters. david tennant can’t always be a smoking hot twink, guys. let him be silly and goofy for my heart’s sake please).

i guarantee if crowley and aziraphale end up kissing and it’s not the most Perfect queer standard camera angle, folks are gonna complain about it, because everyone on screen must be Pretty and Profitable but also Realistic and Relatable. bit of a double standard, no?

that’s why i love that david and michael get to be praised for their physical appearances and i’m no middle aged man but it feels like a door has opened in a way? in myself via the barriers of insecurity and dysmorphia, as well as in some widening sectors of queer society, because it shows that nontraditionally attractive queer people (aka people without abs or a perfect jawline, aka me lol) are fully capable of loving and being loved and being HAPPY and accepted. it makes me so so so joyous. anyway there’s my rant; y’all know i ain’t sleeping till s2 drops tomorrow. i’m HYPED!!!