#xisuma angst

[goldencassius]

Not the happiest this this one but background practice is background practice. A little angst of Xisuma leaving Evil Xisuma in the void.

[shepscapades]

don't mind me just thinking about the intimacy of someone repairing/inspecting someone else's android parts and mechanisms,,,

How did you read the post-destruction fic I’ve been working on before I even put the words from my brain on the page

[hermitcraft-shifter]

I know I just posted a story idea with this concept, but Joe being the 'canary' of Hermitcraft— pretend or not —gives me brainrot. Like, I was looking up types of canaries to see if there's a blue variant, and I realize that a 'miner's canary' isn't just a canary a miner brings to their death. A canary is trapped in the mine. I know that Xisuma can also fit the definition in that case since he's been 'trapped' on Hermitcraft since the beginning as well and would definitely be considered the first warning of danger/death if something happened to him, being the admin and all, but maybe that's the point.

Joe isn't unique.

The canary curse isn't really a real curse, but the thin line between being taken for granted because you've always been there and everyone being lost without you because you've always been there helping. It's not a curse, but a classification. It's not a curse, but a handmade prison. You're too important to lose, but you're too ingrained to be notable. You've never left. You don't think you can leave. Everyone's always left you.

A canary trapped in a bird cage in a coal mine.

[anyknot]

I woke up today and choose violence >:3

In different words, here's some Void brothers angst

a letter that found it's way to Xisumas' desk

Hello Xisuma I honestly don’t know how to start this, but since I expect you to throw this away as soon as you see this, I don’t suppose I have to think about it that much. So… I don’t know if you noticed, you probably didn’t, but I’m no longer in the Void. Please, don’t stress yourself over this. I have no intention in bringing more trouble to you. I have found a way to trouble you no more. I’ve made a deal with Lady Death herself. She agreed to take my life, and give what remained to you. I know it’s not much. I know death is not a luxury I deserve. I deserve to suffer for all I did to you, and your Hermits. But I cannot do this any longer. I can’t live -as much as being in the Void counts as living- knowing what I have caused you.  So I guess this is my last goodbye For all it’s worth, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all I have done to you all. I don’t and won’t ask for your forgiveness, as I know I don’t deserve one. And when I know I won’t ever see you again, I feel like speaking the truth. So thank you. Thank you for protecting me, since the day I was born. You weren’t older by much, yet you still found a way to protect me from the world that tried to hurt me. Hurt us both. Thank you for taking the blame for me. When I did something stupid, even though you warned me. Like the time I broke moms favorite vase. You were grounded for weeks when in the meantime I could run freely through the world. Thank you for raising me, when our parents left. When you became the one who had to be responsible. The one who had to bring food to the table. Had to be the one to teach me about the world. Thank you for being the light, even in the darkest of days. The times where everything seemed pointless. When we were the last left. When I couldn’t imagine surviving another day. You show me that not everything is pointless. When the world shoved you to your knees, you always rose like the sun. Thank you for being there for me, even when I didn’t deserve that. You were there. You were always there. Thank you, for being the best brother I could’ve ever asked for.  My time is running out and all I can regret is never saying this to your face. Just… I have one last thing to ask of you. I know it’s selfish. I know I don’t deserve it. But please, don’t forget about me. Remember me in the good, or bad. But please just… remember that once in the past, long forgotten by time, you had a brother. With all the love in the universe,  E. Xivea Void

[anon-wilford]

I SWEAR theres not enough Xisuma angst out there

And when there is angst its always him needing a nap or like, something to do with evil X coming back qith a redemption ark and something something Hermits something somwthing forgot something something Xisuma something somthing suicide/suicide attempt (sometimes he actually goes thru with it but most is just him going to the void)

Which, is great, it is.

But man sometimes I just want some hurt/comfort where Xosuma is the "main character" and it doesnt have anything ro do with him needing a nap.

Yall forgetting he literally works out all the time, is an early bird?

[spinnertop]

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Evil Xisuma/Helsknight (Hermitcraft) Characters: Helsknight (Hermitcraft), Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft), Original Characters Additional Tags: Isolation, Self-Harm, Hurt Helsknight, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Helsknight uses he/she pronouns, Nonbinary Evil Xisuma (Hermitcraft), Helsknight Needs a Hug (Hermitcraft), not explicitly said but Hels is a manticore hybrid, no beta we die like Ren and doc in season 8 Summary:

No one survived the void. It was a well known fact. It was also incorrect. Helsknight would be happy to demonstrate.

[lady-astras]

Healed Promises - Pt 1

! By Xizara i mean Evil Xisuma, that’s the name I have him !

! These phone numbers are purely randomly typed into the keyboard, please do not try calling them !

Xisuma prided himself on the fact that he kept his promises. He was a man of honor - whatever he told someone he’d do (or implied that he’d do it), he would do it. No one would be let down under his watch, least of all his hermits. 

He didn’t see Wels all that often, but he liked to think of their pride as a bonding connection.

Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe it was the guilt that consumed his soul every single day since he was eighteen. The guilt that ate away at him, constantly reminding him of a fateful portal he’d opened.

He’d let them down by leaving.

He always kept promises after that though. Ones he could keep, ones that were iffy. He always kept them. A promise was like a little trinket, something small that meant something big to someone else. They’d entrusted him to keep it and so he honored that wish.

Which was why he was initially so hesitant to send a reply letter back. By no means was it a huge commitment. But… did he really want to see him again?

Xizara had never, ever done anything wrong. He had always been the one to wrap Xia in blankets and whisper soothing words to her, all while he himself was the one who invoked arguments with his parents as a last-ditch effort to try to help. Maybe if he’d been more emotionally available for his siblings they wouldn’t resent him so much. Xizara had probably asked to meet him just to tell him off after gathering the courage to see him after fifteen years.

He picked up the letter to read it again, parchment clearly ripped out of an empty notebook, the paper softened from the times he’d crumpled it up and instantly regretted it.

Xisuma -

I write to you after a while to tentatively ask to meet. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, and as everyone knows, twins always stick together.

Void if only they could have stuck together, like False and her twin did. 

I know you’re busy - you always are, precious Admin child.

Was he being made fun of? Was that some form of anger being expressed in the note of always being overlooked?

So if you could please write back that would be great. We can arrange a time or something?

My new comm number is 682-720-8165 if you want to save it. If you’re mad at me just say that.

Inanis’ blessings,

Xizara Void

Dammit this was difficult. Was he annoyed or not? Surely if he was annoyed the letter would be worded differently? But he could be trying to hide it.

He pulled out a piece of paper and a fancy pen from his stationery drawer.

Hey Xizara,

Yeah I’d be down to meet! I’m pretty busy lately but as the admin of the server I’m sure I can delegate or something, haha.

Do you want me to come back home or do you want to visit me here? I can make accommodations for the air and stuff, but it’d be helpful if you still have the helmet or mask I gave you.

I don’t have much of a preference but I get the feeling I’m not really welcomed at home anymore…

You can contact me as well if you like by personal comm at 451-269-0157. If that’s the wrong number just let me know, I get my work and personal numbers mixed up sometimes.

Regards,

Xisuma Void, Ad.M

He sighed, setting down the pen. The promise was inked and he was now obligated to send it.

If this was a trap waiting for him he’d rather be prepared, but if it wasn’t he didn’t want to estrange his siblings even more.

To the interdimensional post office.

[helsex-moved]

'Lily white and poppy red I trembled when he laid me out You won't feel a thing, he said, when you go down Nothing gonna wake you now' (Flowers - Hadestown)

Day 20 - Flowers (prompt via @evil-xisapril)

[I.D. A digital drawing of Evil Xisuma and Helsknight. Ex is laying on their back in a flowery field, their armor is broken and melted in places and some of their skin is burnt. Blood trickles from their mouth and an unseen injury on their head as they smile weakly up at Hels tears in their eyes. Hels sits next to them looking down horrified, one of his hands holds their face and they hold onto that arm. The background is a warm yellow and orange sky with clouds.]

[thathermitweirdo]

Sibling Issues

Hi everyone! This is a oneshot I wrote over TWO years ago. Kinda crazy, but here we are. I wanna start moving some oneshots over here to tumblr, but if you’d like to read more, check out my Wattpad :)

Anyway, Enjoy!

-

Xisuma sat on the edge of his storage tower, just as the sun began to descend over the jungle. The dusty orange glow of the horizon caused the leaves to gleam in the sunset. With the wind brushing through his chestnut hair, the admin took in a deep breath of fresh air. His helmet sat on his lap, allowing X to breathe freely.

Hermitcraft season seven had come to its end. Xisuma had let the hermits head to season eight, while he stayed behind to wrap everything up. The quiet was nice, to take a few moments to enjoy the peacefulness of the empty server. No pranking or firework rockets in the distance, the only sound was the rustling of the leaves that shook with the wind.

Xisuma watched silently as the sun slowly crossed over the horizon, the sky turning dark as the moon began to take its place in the sky. Stars twinkled above, gleaming down on the quiet little server. The admin shut his eyes, feeling the wind against his face, the gentle breeze brushing against his cheeks.

"Alright Xisuma. Enough wasting time. Get back to work." The Brit spoke to himself with a heavy sigh, placing his helmet over his head as he got to his feet.

The admin snapped his fingers together, a purple screen appearing before him. Xisuma typed away at the keyboard, hesitating as his hand hovered over the 'enter' key. This could risk everything that he had worked for. The identity that he had built, the life that he had created from scratch, it all could come crumbling to the ground if something went wrong.

"This needs to be done," Xisuma said to himself, trying to reassure his decision, although he didn't sound saddened or hesitant, even as he continued to speak. "I can't just leave him in the void. I never should have banned him to begin with."

He quickly pressed the 'enter' key on the screen, and within moments, Xisuma had spotted the chat message popping up.

<EvilXisuma joined the game>

Typing in another command, Xisuma hit enter once again, his brother suddenly teleporting right in front of the admin. Ex was stunned at the unfamiliar method of travel, dazed after returning from the void. It had been so long in the silence, the cold, empty, darkness that he had been locked away in.

Ex ripped off his helmet, dropping to his knees as he gasped for fresh air. He had breathed in the air of the void for so long that it burned his lungs to breathe the air of the overworld, but the evil hermit didn't care. It felt so fresh and warm, it was the greatest thing that Ex had felt in months.

He looked up at his brother, Ex still breathing heavily as his eyes flashed with burning hatred. There were deep scars across the Brit's face, much worse than the marks across Xisuma's face. The cuts and slashes were covering the majority of his face.

"Why...why am I here..?" Ex panted, his eyes trailing to the ground, unable to meet the steely glare of his brother. Xisuma smiled.

"I couldn't leave you there."

His brother laughed at that. "Oh, you couldn't leave me there? Well, you took EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME!" Ex snapped with his eyes looking up from the ground, the fire in his glare quickly burning out as he looked back to the safety of the ground.

"It would have been better if you had just left me there." He muttered underneath his breath, Ex placing his helmet over his head and adjusting it with a scowl across his face.

"I know," Xisuma said, staring down at his helpless brother. "But you also know I couldn't do that."

The two were silent for a couple moments, neither attempting to lock eyes with one another. After what felt like an eternity, Ex finally spoke up.

"W-...what season is it..? Last I remember, I was in season six, then I was suddenly back in the void."

"It's going to be season eight soon enough," Xisuma explained, "we just finished season seven. You and I are currently in my season seven base."

Ex smiled cruelly. "So, you're letting me join season eight?" He asked jokingly, Xisuma letting out a weak chuckle in response, his eyes narrowing.

"You'd tear everything apart. I can't let you do that."

"What? Just because you don't want the hermits to know the truth about you?" Ex asked tauntingly, his tone mocking the admin. Xisuma pulled out his blade, he and his brother locked eyes with one another. Ex grinned at this.

"There he is. There's the Xisuma that I know.." he said with a flat chuckle, Ex's words causing him to be met by the tip of his brother's sword.

"You don't know me at all." Xisuma growled, Ex audibly laughing.

"I know you better than any of the hermits ever could. I know the real you. You, Xisumavoid, are a heartless, cruel, monster. You kill anyone who figures out who you really are, just like how you killed Python and Biffa, along with anyone else who stood in your way."

Xisuma grinned, dragging the sword across his brother's neck. "They were the smart ones. But everyone else is too dense to realize. They all think that I'm just a derp, that I'm just 'good old Xisuma'. And they'll never think any differently of me."

Ex cussed underneath his breath, knowing that it was true. Although, the cussing turned into quiet laughter underneath his breath. The evil hermit smiled at his brother.

"So you're going to kill me? So no one will know?"

Xisuma smiled. "You know me so well, brother."

"Then, let me at least ask one question."

Xisuma thought for a moment, but he slowly nodded in agreement. Ex looked up at the admin, his eyes no longer filled with hatred, but with sorrow.

"Do you regret it? Any of it?” His brother asked earnestly, eyes filled with what seemed to be pleading.

“You stole the life that I was going to have,” He went on. “And you put me in the void while you ran off to join hermitcraft. I could have come along, I could have had something more than this worthless life in the void!”

X rolled his eyes, slightly raising his blade, but his brother persisted and he continued.

Ex stood up and stepped closer, almost taunting his sibling. The pleading gaze changed, shifted to a cold, yet burning determination. “But instead, you discard me while constantly lying to the people you called your friends! You gave me all these scars and made me this way! So tell me, brother, do you regret any of it?! From ruining my life to killing those hermits you called your friends?!"

Xisuma thought for a moment, then slowly, yet reluctantly nodded. "I do. I do regret one thing..." he said, lowering his sword away from his brother's neck.

Ex could barely react as the sword was shoved through his chest, Xisuma's face practically glowing with insane joy as a crazed grin spread across his face. Blood trickled down the netherite blade, dripping off the sword and into a small puddle on the ground.

"I regret not getting rid of you sooner."

Ex chuckled drowsily at that, it was clear he was beginning to lose consciousness. Xisuma pulled his blade out of his brother's chest, causing Ex to fall to the ground. He looked past the admin, looking out at the jungle, a weak smile coming across his face.

"T...the one thing I wanted to see while I was in the void...more than anything…” He began to cough and choke, blood running up his throat and spewing out his mouth as he tried to speak. “—was the sun..nice to see you w-waited just s-so I couldn't get the thing I wanted m-most.."

"Quit whining." Xisuma growled as he stabbed his sword into Ex's side, pulling out the blade once his brother had stopped breathing. A warm puddle of crimson blood surrounded the body, the admin dropping his weapon beside his dead sibling.

"I never really did like you. You were nothing more than a nuisance if you ask me." Xisuma said carelessly, shrugging it off as if Ex had meant less than nothing to him.

"Messing with you, the hermits, anyone really, all of this is more fun than you could ever imagine, Ex." Xisuma said, speaking to his brother as if he were still alive.

"The rush of killing, it's incredible. You wouldn't know. You were nice compared to what I've done, and that's why you're dead.” He said, dragging his gloved finger through the warm blood on the edge of his blade.

“This is all a game, and you just couldn't figure out how to play it right."

—

Xisuma stepped into spawn, the other hermits waving at him. They had been waiting for the admin before starting the new season. The large group of hermits all smiled and greeted him, unaware of what he had just done. Xisuma grinned and acted like his 'regular' old self.

The season started and all the hermits ran off to gather materials. Keralis had joined Xisuma in a small group with a few other hermits, gathering wood and stone to start. He noticed X joining the server, waving happily before coming up to the admin when everyone else was out of earshot.

"What took you so long, Shiswami? I almost thought you weren't coming!" He laughed, smiling at the admin. Xisuma chuckled, his smile sweet and his voice calm.

"Oh, you know, just sibling issues."

[verishii]

Hermitcraft in Naruto is deeply underrated because while everyone is going through Serious Anime Plot, the hermits are operating on looney tunes logic

[transfemzedaph]

rlly funny that the hc meeting is happening and joel is just. there. and barely says a word.

[shepscapades]

When i read all the messages where everyone wanna chop his hand off, it reminded me the meme where guy in glasses sitting in the car and telling something, while McDonald's cashier standing with an order horrified

SFVHSFGOBDFGBJC THIS WAS SO FUNNY SO I HAD TO DO IT, THANK YOU

[beaningeneraldenial]

It's been a month and I paid for it dearly. Look, the angst jumped at me and wouldn't leave me until I wrote it! It just happened! (Some serious angst in the second segment, please read with caution <3)

[mcwhytubers]

i had a realization

Xisuma mentioned in Mumbo’s video that he should talk to grian about reopening the rift to go visit empires and see what they did.

But did they forget what happened just before they went back home? I mean, Xisuma didn’t mention it, despite having mentioned Grumbot being in that universe.

Imagine, Grian having repressed the memories of the end of the crossover into Empires. He sees Mumbo and gets excited to show him all that happened. He opens the rift. He’s blathering all on about hermitopia and grumbot as they cross through. He doesn’t remember until they enter Empires.

In all his excitement to show Mumbo the expanse of Hermitopia, he forgets. He’s repressed the loss of what could essentially be his son.

They can see the tower from the rift. And, of course, what’s left of grumbot.

[anon-wilford]

TRICK OR TREAT !!!!

omg hi thank u! I wasnt sure what to do as am ccurently already working on two art pieces but not smth I can post to tumblr (I think) but I remembered this writers wip! hermitcraft angst incomming, with Evil X. Pain.

Pain is the only comfort Evil X Has. The little healthy tissue still to succumb to the void cold touch, screaming and begging for warmth, sending waves of agony up his arms. It's ironic that it feels like touching hot oil on a pan. His feet's no better either, but they're holding up better. At least that's what he hopes. He hopes that they're not just too far away from his heart for his body to have given up on them. Nausea forces its way to his stomach by the thought of his feet being black, frozen, and cold, to the point they've gone numb. He tells himself that the slight weird tingling sensation pushing its way up his legs means something else. But he doesn't dare look to confirm that. He gave up screaming a long time ago. The angry insults could have simply lasted an hour, or a day. Or several for all he knows. He's unsure if Time is ticking by agonizingly slow, or going by faster due to the lack of general stimuli, other than watch the few particles of the void rush by him, almost as if he was falling.

Falling...or floating for eternity. He's pretty sure he's falling. Just the way his stomach churns at every movement, like going over the peak of a roller coaster, down. Yet nothing around him would confirm that he was. No wind is whipping past him, screaming in his ears. No hair flailing wildly as the effects of Gravity takes its effect. No resistance of his limbs due to the natural force. Maybe he's not, the metal around his wrists and ankles to keep him from entering servers, worlds or the central hub in general, suggests he's chanied up, but there's not much here to chain him to, he supposes. He cant assume the magic ingrained in the metal would do much if he was falling. But

The feeling of slowly slipping further, and further. Deeper. Just his guts tensing and with a sharp cold energetic pain at every flinch, suggests his assumptions are correct.

His throat feels sore. Every swallow, cough or even breath feels like swallowing shards of glass. His thrasing and screaming had taken it's toll, ripping the inside of his throat open, littered with sores. Every heave his lungs crave, that his throat is forced through, screaming at him to let it rest, the infalmed irritated tissue fighting his very want to stay alive, sending waves of tears prickling and itching to fall. If he had any left to shed, that is. He guesses that he's too dehydrated to cry. Being in the void might pause several of his bodily functions, but it's mercy only extents so far. The tears he shed wont come back. His stomach's still empty. He's still running on fumes. And you can still wither away and die. It's not a time bubble. He's not sure if that's a curse or a blessing. Probably a blessing. It would be agony to be consicous till the end of time. Though still far from generous. Never forgiving the poor souls that's send into it's embrace. Most take forgranted how quick the death would be, in some- if not most- circumstances. Falling off an end island, falling through a glitched hole in the world. The gravity letting you slip, like breaking through water's surface tension, but scaled a hundred-fold, is what harms. The pop of of the void tearing you from the egde of your world, tearing you out from it's force's reach, like two siblings fighting over a toy. Killing you. Tearing you apart and in the end, nobody wins. Both crying over the loss of their precious toy. Though if given to the void. If you're send there intentionally. If someone negotiates with the worlds code, like writing a command, lessening the whiplash... you die from your body not being made to live there.

All he hears is the internal turmoil and the void's singing. The ringing in his ears almost resembling a tune if you listen for long enough. Attempting to soothe you, before the high-pitched ringing stabs your ear's inner organs like a million tiny needles, slowly yet surely digging everything out.

It feels like years have passed since he last saw his brother. Well, clone? Well, he himself is the clone. Xisuma is most likely the original. No matter how simillar he looked, he always stood out. He doesn't mind that, of course. That's what he tells himself at least. It's good to stand out, be different, not blend in with all the normies living their plain boring life, talking about their unitneresting lives. Their words tasts like boring plain bread left out on the counter for too long.

...and look what that got him...

A one way ticket to the void.

Handed to him on a silver platter by someone he once called his brother. Whom he had shared most of his life with, walking along side eachother. He never thought their roads parting ways would have lead him here.

The forgiveness he had once teased his brother for being too generous for giving so easily, is what he has been begging to receive for the past... Few years, most likely. Yet he remembers that spiteful, hurtful, look his brother had given him before the darkness of the void had embraced him.

At first he despised his brother for sending him here. Screaming about how Xisuma himself had talked and thought how unforgiving the void is. How no human being deserve such a slow and torturous death.

But Evil X is just a clone after all. Just another number. A duplicate, a fake. And the worst part is, that he's a terrible duplicate at that. Meant to be so much greater than whatever he had become. Or at least, that's what he felt was assumed of the situation. He rose so high, ignoring the promise of the inevitable fall being even harder than his success, plummeting and dragging it down with him. And oh, how ugly his fall was. Slow and agonizing.

It's ironic, isn't it? That this is how he dies. Falling slowly in the void.

At least he'll die the way he lived, if that means anything. Probably doesn't. He hope they didn't forget him. He hopes that the time that has passed, is time spent warming Xisumas cold shoulder. Yet he's sure they both know deep down that this is what he deserves. He deserves to slowly lose his senses. Slowly have his person, his soul, his very core wither away. He deserves the cold biting away at his body, circling his heart still pumping out the warm blood, like a predator seeking the warm flesh of it's prey. Seeking to suffocate any sign of warmth in its territory. He can feel the last bit of life draining from him, but he's too cold, too tired to fight it. And he knows it's utterly useless. The exhaustion is overwhelming. His eye's are heavy. He can feel his eyelids slip. His muscles loosing the energy to keep themselves together. He can feel the exposed skin on his face crack from the dry cold, blood seeping from his face. He really should have kept his helmet on and not chugged it as hard as he could, never to be seen again. Maybe it would have kept him alive long enough for his pleas of forgiveness to reach Xisuma's heart. The only warmth left in him is the blood seeping through his cracking skin across his corehead, lips and cheeks. He hoped that at the very least he would die in battle, with fellow warriors by his side to comfort him with the promise of vengance and victory; or someplace where he gets to say goodbye to mothernature. Hoping to die blissfully lulled to sleep in her lovingly warm embrace, with the beauty of the flowers, trees and animals she created and allows to live and die in her embrace with a promise of peace.

As his eyes close, he can feel a surge rush through his body.

And everything goes black. Everything disappears. He no longer feels the weight of his armor, the weight of breathing.

[caesar1141]

There had been a glitch going around the server for a couple of days now only because it was a relatively minor one. Starting at 0,0, all redstone in a set chunk would be powered on for a tick before turning back off, at which point the effect would spread to the chunks immediately next to it. It didn't move extremely quickly and with how far away all the Hermits lived from 0,0, it shouldn't have been a problem. The only reason that the hermits knew about it was because Xisuma got sick for a day or so and Tango had prioritized covering a mountain in snow and ice over the routine server reset.