#xenophilius lovegood headcanons

[orchideous-nox]

Favourite loser? 🤨 Like actual losers, not just "well, they're weird". You seem like a Peter person

Okay, starting off by saying I love this ask!!

When I think of losers in the marauders era I wouldn't immediately think of Peter, or at least not the way I hc him. But I do love him in his own special way, but not a loser way. I think there are more losery losers out there.

Like Xenophilius. Man is a humanoid string of cooked spaghetti who loves conspiracies and everything thinks he's a freak. He doesn't have many friends beyond Pandora and Barty (who is also perpetually perceived as being a loser), so he spends a lot of time on his own muttering to himself.

He goes on to be the editor of a magazine that 99% of the wizarding community thinks is nonsense and is mostly ignored. Pandora and Luna regularly have to try and convince him that he's not a loser, not fully believing their own words. He tried to start a Hogwarts student magazine but it was just him, nobody else signed up, or at least not using real names.

He sits in corners of Hogwarts writing things down in his little notebook with his long limp hair that he has to be persuaded to cut and wash, and when he's not in uniform he dresses in clothes that nobody else wears from odd muggle stores in the depths of London.

Some people say he's wacky and zany but I think my boy Phil is a certified loser. He sits down at the Ravenclaw table and people get up and move away from him. He's vibing in his own world doing his little dance like at Bill and Fleur's wedding with his yellow clothes and odd throat singing and pisses the common room off because he refuses to keep it to the confines of his dorm.

In the wise words of Alex, "Phil is the real odd fuck".

[claybyte]

xenophilius is one of my favorite marauders era characters and he doesn't get nearly enough hype so here are a couple headcanons i have for him

xenophilius' grandfather started the quibbler and it was eventually passed down to him. he's been the writer of it since his parents died in his 7th year

in the marauders' year in school

xeno was the one to give the marauders info on how to become animagi. james tricked him into telling them. idk how xeno would know, he just knows a lot of things

fairly close friends with james, acquaintances with the rest of the marauders

does not believe in the concept of gender

was absolutely fascinated with pandora the moment he saw her. they both have a lot of eccentricity and love for nature but in different ways; xenophilius loves creatures and plants and pandora loves potions and experimentation surrounding them

pandora calls him "lovely lovegood" because he gets the insult of "loony lovegood" very often

xeno and pandora got married just a couple years after graduating hogwarts. before that, they'd been dating since xeno's 5th year and pandora's 4th

pandora calls him phil and their friends think it's hilarious that she gave such a common nickname to such a strange man

james firmly denies the existence of nargles so xenophilius started to sneak into gryffindor tower and steal his socks to make him believe nargles had done it. it works

pureblood, not sacred 28 but almost made the cut. most of the reason they didn't was that the other pureblood families simply don't like them because of their weirdness and would prefer to distance themselves from them

[starstruckmoony]

so high school.

masterlist

pairing - james potter x reader

summary - that one cute nerdy guy from your lectures gives you a follow and you end up actually falling for him.

trope/tags - modern!au, uni/college!au, instagram/social media!au, fluff, terrible humor

word count - 704

warnings - language, suggestive jokes

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

prongsyboy

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prongsyboy me and remussy

tagged rjlupin

10 comments

yourusername adding ussy to things is not cool anymore btw!!

prongsyboy what do YOU know about cool

yourusername clearly more than you do

rjlupin tf when was this taken????

starmanblack ...yesterday

starmanblack you two were so cute i couldn’t resist 😔

mmmckinnon remus looks sooooo happy to be there

lily_evans my two favourite boys 🥹

starmanblack bit rude innit petey?

pete___ no words...

yourusername

❤️ liked by lily_evans, xeno_lovegood, starmanblack and 181 others

yourusername he said i remind him of the first line from robbers

12 comments

prongsyboy he was so right

yourusername even got himself a mention

prongsyboy lucky bloke

prongsyboy you also remind him of fallingforyou

yourusername i think he told me that already

prongsyboy and he'll tell you again

r.a.black of course he likes the 1975

bartyyy bratty healy reference?

ev.rosier i got told that by a man once

yourusername and then you slept with him!

bartyyy GOT GAME EYYYY 😈

prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤️ liked by r.a.black, rjlupin, marymacdonald and 174 others

yourusername freaky

13 comments

prongsyboy day ruined

yourusername excuse you?

prongsyboy i just had some plans 🙄

yourusername 😏

prongsyboy 😏

prongsyboy i'd have stolen that and put it on my wall for decoration

yourusername like that room 69 sign you stole from uni?

prongsyboy AYOOOO DON'T TELL THEM THAT

mmmckinnon is that there cause of me?

yourusername @/casmeadowes

casmeadowes i wanna be excluded from this narrative

bartyyy FUCK

starmanblack NO

prongsyboy

❤️ liked by ev.rosier, casmeadowes, euphemiapotter and 183 others

prongsyboy roadtripppppp

tagged yourusername

13 comments

yourusername not the soggy chips

prongsyboy but i like them soggy 🤤

yourusername kys

yourusername nice sweater

prongsyboy thanks i got it from that girl who reminds me of i'm in love with you by the 1975

yourusername STOPPP

prongsyboy NEVER

starmanblack always so cute

starmanblack hottest best friend ever

starmanblack @/yourusername when am i getting him back

yourusername have a nice day!

vance_emm i'm just here for the comments atp

pandorasbox keeping us fed

yourusername added to their story

prongsyboy

❤️ liked by vance_emm, r.a.black, mmmckinnon and 200 others

prongsyboy robbers intro?

tagged yourusername

14 comments

yourusername hello! why am i being tagged?

prongsyboy because you're you

yourusername you're kinda pretty

prongsyboy this isn't about me

starmanblack OMG ROCKSTAR BF???

starmanblack SOOO TALENTED

starmanblack husband

rjlupin CUT IT OUT

prongsyboy LMAOAOA

marymacdonald @/yourusername marry that

ev.rosier starting to understand y/n...

yourusername back off my man rosier smh you've got your own 🙄

bartyyy i can't play him robbers tho 😔

ev.rosier SEE?

bartyyy added to their story

yourusername

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yourusername him.

tagged prongsyboy

17 comments

prongsyboy ME?

yourusername YOU!

prongsyboy ❤️

yourusername ❤️

prongsyboy think my mum approves

yourusername she actually told me that behind your back!

prongsyboy HUUUUUH

ev.rosier cute.

bartyyy RAAAAAHHHH HOW SWEET EW EW EW 😍🤮🥰🤢🥹

mmmckinnon SICK of you two

r.a.black tell me about it

starmanblack fuck off haters smh

pete___ prongs won

starmanblack keep him extra safe pls thank you

rjlupin emphasis on extra

xeno_lovegood congratulations!

marymacdonald cuties 🫶

prongsyboy added to their story

[aidens-ocean-galaxy]

the marauders era kids call madam pomfrey “pom pom”

[percyweasleyapologist]

New Ask Game!

Give me your first name and i'll reply with a marauders last name that i think fits based off of your name :)

[isabel-lillah]

what if Pandora just forgets to mention she married Xenophilius on a random tuesday because they felt like it

and then three months later her friends find out when they come to visit her because there's a photo from the wedding hanging on the wall

the only one who knew was Reg, who was Pandora's witness and ringbearer

[a-great-tragedy]

Some random waitress at a diner: Congratulates!

Xenophilous: What?

Waitress: *Points to Pandora sitting in a wedding dress* Happy wedding!

Pandora: We’re not married

Waitress: *prolonged eye contact* What?

Pandora: We’ve actually just been to a funeral.

[katakosmos]

i think sometimes we forget that pandora was a mother, and let me tell you, she was also a big mess of a mother. but she tried.

when she realized that, because of her belly, she couldn't fit in her favorite clothes anymore, she punched xenophilius in the face cause it was "his fault";

when she went into labor, she was so scared that she asked the doctors if it was possible to keep the baby inside her a little longer;

during the first months of luna's life, when she did nothing but cry every night, xenophilius removed all the mirrors from the house to prevent pandora from freaking out because of the dark circles under her eyes;

and when luna once threw the spoon with food at her, pandora cried all night thinking luna did it because she was a horrible mother.

in the end, when luna's first word was "mama", she was so happy that she almost asked xenophilius to have another baby, and he had to beg her to wait at least a couple of years.

he was so exhausted. he loved her so much.

also, i think pandora was tragically obsessed with her daughter, she loved to buy her cute little clothes, and for her first birthday she gave her something like 30 gifts. she wanted luna to have a perfect life.

she tried to be a perfect mum, but luna often made her angry (she was a hyperactive child). but then she found out that biting xenophilius helped her calm down, and he started going to work every day covered in bruises (his colleagues were worried). so, when luna grew up to be the calmest girl in the universe, he almost cried of joy.

they are so cute help.

[moonytoasted]

marauders era sexuality headcanons

james potter: unlabeled. he had a crush on frank but it didn't compare to his crush on lily. he can't be bothered to label himself.

remus lupin: gay gay gay

sirius black: bi. can pull every gender and does. him and marlene were each others' first kisses.

peter pettigrew: demiro + demisexual :3

hestia jones: she loves her nerd boyfriend

amos diggory: he loves his strong quidditch girlfriend

lily evans: bi. dated emmeline vance (for like 3 days before they broke out in a screaming match. enemies to lovers speedrun)

marlene mckinnon: lesbianest lesbian to ever live. her, emmeline, and sirius combined have probably flirted with everyone in gryffindor.

mary macdonald: bi (and married dean thomas' dad rahhh)

dorcas meadows: bi/ace :3

emmeline vance: lesbian. or alternatively, sapphic enemies to lovers plot point.

regulus black: thought he was aroace. turns out he's demiro + ace

barty crouch (jr): evan. / evan: barty.

davey gudgeon: straight, acts gay w his friends

sybill trelawney: bi w a HEAVY preference for women.

xenophilius lovegood: straight. #1 ally

pandora: ace + straight but made out w sybill when they were high.

frank longbottom: bi + the crush of every new first year coming in

alice fortescue: straight + the crush of every other new first year.

caradoc dearborn: benjy. in love w him but not out :(

benjy fenwick: bi. he's out.

[asmo-d3us]

Sybill loved Peter who loved James who loved Lily who loved Mary who loved Marlene who loved Dorcas who loved Pandora who loved Xeno who loved Evan who loved Barty who loved Regulus who loved Remus who loved Sirius.

[orchideous-nox]

He's wacky zany AND a certified loser

He iiissss!!!! That's why I love him so much, and shortening Xenophilius to Phil just adds to it for me, like he's trying to minimise the loseriness but he just makes it worse

[witchygfsgf]

how i imagine the marauders (picrew is made by makowka)

sirius black

remus lupin

peter pettigrew

james potter

lily evans

mary macdonald

marlene mckinnon

dorcas meadowes

pandora lovegood

xenophilius lovegood (my hc is he's a trelawney)

sybill trelawney

alice longbottom

frank longbottom

emmeline vance

emma vanity

lucinda talkalot

amelia bones

edgar bones

hestia Jones

benjy fenwick

charity burbage

aurora sinistra

bellatrix black

andromeda black

narcissa black

ted tonks

rita skeeter

persephone zabini (first name's just a hc)

regulus black

[tea-blankets-andstars]

P.1 Marauders era (boys) Six things:

James:

-gold jewlery

-long eyelashes

-smile bigger then the sun

-loves gardening

-can do the splits (uses it as a party trick)

-6'0

Sirius:

-cascading waterfall of curls

-deap ocean eyes

-resting sad face

-chaotic good

-hot cocoa drinker

-5'9

Remus:

-sweaters

-brown eyes that shine gold

-owns a flip phone

-only wears green and brown tones

-has a scar on his knee from a potion explosion 

-6'4

Peter:

-chess genius

-nose freckles

-loves herbology

-fuzzy socks

-has a 9 step sikncare routine

-5'6

Barty jr:

-little pants little shirt

-noticed but never seen

-always smells like lemon cake

-geinus

-loves watching thor

-6'7

Evan:

-loves anything strawberry

-has natural white hair and eyelashes

-stretch marks

-horrible eyesight but refuses to wear glasses

-nonbinary transmasc

-5'11 (says he's 6'1) 

Regulus:

-one storm grey eye & one light blue with a mix of emerald 

-trans

-secretly loves taylor swift (favorite album is fearless)

-rbf

-blind in one eye (the grey one) 

-5'3

Frank:

-raises cattle

-has a scar on his jaw (from walking into a wall)

-always wearing a hat

-loves ABBA

-has a sheep named barbie

-6'0

Lucius:

-first 2 years at hogwarts his hair was always in french braids

-gray eyes looked green in the sun

-practiced rbf

-swings cane like a baton

-loves horses

-6'2

Xenophilius:

-so pale you could see almost every vain and so that his eyes almost look purple

-trans

-taps feet to the song stuck in his head

-corduroy jackets

-loves playing card games

-5'8

✨ok those are them! girls are next

[starstruckmoony]

so high school.

masterlist

pairing - james potter x reader

summary - that one cute nerdy guy from your lectures gives you a follow and you end up actually falling for him.

trope/tags - modern!au, uni/college!au, instagram/social media!au, fluff, terrible humor

word count - 578

warnings - language, drinking, smoking

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername

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yourusername vogue

tagged vance_emm

8 comments

bartyyy screaming without the s

ev.rosier y'all are so hot ugh

marymacdonald MY GIRLFRIEND MY GIRLFRIEND MY GIRLFRIEND

casmeadowes i fucking love women

r.a.black first post of yours that ate

yourusername you're like soooo nice, thank you!

pandoras_box i'm SWOONING

xeno_lovegood covergirls

yourusername

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yourusername spider girl?

10 comments

r.a.black fucking mutant

yourusername aren't you just a little bundle of joy!

bartyyy that's what your mum said when she birthed you

starmanblack someone had to say it.

r.a.black okay glass older child 🙄

prongsyboy she's just like me fr

yourusername you get it

xeno_lovegood she DEVOURED that

vance_emm god wish i was the ground she walked on

marymacdonald my second wife actually

prongsyboy

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prongsyboy gloden hour

11 comments

yourusername gloden

prongsyboy DUCK

yourusername HAHAHA

mmmckinnon  ARE THOSE FUCKING CROCS

pete__ fuckin elite is what they are 💯💯💯

starmanblack so hot

starmanblack pop off queen

starmanblack UGH MARRY ME

rjlupin mf what

marymacdonald he's so cute chat

prongsyboy hehe

prongsyboy

❤ liked by yourusername, casmeadowes, rjlupin and 144 others

prongsyboy girl dinner

11 comments

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prongsyboy i fucken forgor how to english omfg

yourusername stroke?

prongsyboy i'm discovering a new colour

yourusername lana coded

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yourusername 😏

starmanblack bf material

starmanblack tell them king

starmanblack smash

reg_black what is it doing?

pete__ IT HELP ME 

yourusername added to their story

‼️ prongsyboy liked your story

yourusername

❤ liked by pete__, marymacdonald, starmanblack and 140 others

yourusername girlhood

tagged lily_evans

10 comments

prongsyboy are you making those for me?

yourusername no 

lily_evans no

prongsyboy whatever have i done to you

prongsyboy the height difference 😭

yourusername average booktok novel am i right

bartyyy not them actually turning out fine

yourusername that was backhanded af

marymacdonald GIRLHOOD I REPEAT

vance_emm that's so cute i love it when women

prongsyboy

❤ liked by vance_emm, pandorasbox, mmmckinnon and 139 others

prongsyboy spider boy?

13 comments

yourusername this might be spiderman

prongsyboy noooooo

yourusername can you teach me how to shoot webs

prongsyboy yesssssss

starmanblack ATE

starmanblack CARRIED

starmanblack that fucks cause i bought it

prongsyboy i know right

marymacdonald he's so spidey

rjlupin you look like you're about to ask me if i've got games on my phone

prongsyboy but have you got games on your phone?

rjlupin does the calculator count?

prongsypotter no it calculates

yourusername

❤ liked by pete__, marymacdonald, starmanblack and 147 others

yourusername the fuck

tagged prongsyboy

14 comments

prongsyboy me

yourusername you

mmmckinnon that's a cute pussy

yourusername which one?

prongsyboy BRUH

rjlupin caption ate

prongsyboy YOUR MUM HAHA

vance_emm why did you let him inside your home?

prongsyboy because he's so cool and hot and kind and funny and mmmm need that

yourusername yes

starmanblack HAHA SO CUTE

prongsyboy i love you too mate 

prongsyboy

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prongsyboy this gonna become a cat account fr

tagged yourusername

10 comments

yourusername that's so swiftie of you ewh

prongsyboy karma is a cat!!!!!!

yourusername fly high

prongsyboy LIKE TAYLORHDFSJSJH

pete__ what's her name?

prongsyboy it's a man...

mmmckinnon why he kinda look like remus

starmanblack JESUS FUCK YES HE DOES

prongsyboy because he's angy and eepy

mmmckinnon i just blocked you btw

prongsyboy added to their story

[aidens-ocean-galaxy]

Xenophilius draws and paints on all surfaces except for an actual drawing book

[futurequibblerjournalist]

The headcanon that Pandora is a Rosier and Xenophilius is a Malfoy and that they chose the name Lovegood together after getting married because it better represents them is so dear to me