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orionshounds · 4 years ago

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I’ve been knee deep in dsmp lore streams and I just want to ramble about it

Dream smp lore is so good, it’s so good!!! Not only is the story itself just fascinating, but how it’s presented so uniquely through the medium of minecraft of all things is just so cool. One of my favorite parts of the lore is seeing how everyone on the smp has their own “style” they present it in, and watching them find the way they find the most enjoyment in is so cool. Literally no two streamer’s lore stream quite like each others and it’s just incredible! It just speaks to the flexibility of roleplay as an artistic medium and really shows everyone’s individual personalities.

Wilbur was dramatic as hell and wrote eloquent speeches. He started a drug operation under the guise as a country, and it lead to a revolution in which he was able to explore the spiral of a man who loses control of everything he had built. And after his arc and he wanted a break from the server? He created ghostbur, an amnesic comic relief with just enough touch of tragedy that he is still able to make heartbreaking monologues when he wants to.

Tommy is able to run around with his friends and cause as much chaos to his heart’s extent, but there is so much more than meets the eye. He is incredibly social and isn’t afraid to start conflict with a lot of people, bringing them into the roleplay. He doesn’t back down from storytelling either. His character goes through terrible situations and he fully explores the trauma that comes from those experiences. His character goes against the “stereotypical” trauma I see alot in media; instead of being shy or scared he’s reactionary, he’s angry, he’s violent, he’s depressed. I’m actually really impressed with the heavy subject matter this 17 year old teen has managed to portray (I’ve connected with it quite personally at certain points), while still being able to keep the light hearted fun that’s so intrinsic to his personality.

Tubbo isn’t really interested in serious lore as much. Even in dire moments he tells jokes and just has fun. So, in his recent lore, he just streams as normal while putting mysterious writing on screen that he doesn’t acknowledge or have to explain, which I think is just a genius work around for him to participate in lore. He still has his dedicated lore streams sometimes, and when he is in the acting zone he has some of the most powerful moments out of everyone on the server.

Ranboo, while having stake in the greater smp lore, is much more character focused. He presents his lore through long monologues and fucking heart-wrenching voice acting. He loves working in themes of horror and causing a specific feeling in the viewer. So he chooses specific music as a themes for events/characters and creates visual queues in his overlays to draw out that desired reaction. He also values improve a LOT, if something unexpected comes up he just runs with it and he has made huge changes to his lore as early as 30 min before a stream.

Technoblade, while arguably one of the most powerful people on the server, prefers a more light-hearted yet dramatic approach to lore. When Dream was at his house looking for Tommy, Techno had no problem joking around and making fun of him for being homeless. He tore down an entire nation on the server and had so much fun doing it! He’s more of an antagonist than a true villain in my opinion. And lets not forget how dedicated he is to the game, he’s cracked at the craft. He spends hours grinding and creating farms on the smp, for amazing pay offs (his several vault reveals, the withers, etc), most of which weren’t even on stream!

Karl Jacobs is extremely social, so he created Tales from the smp as a way to involve TONS of people in lore while exploring the past and future of the server (it was also a way for viewers who weren’t that well versed in dsmp lore to join and not have to worry about it!). And through this premise, he took the opportunity to develop his own character on the smp; making an incredibly tragic story of a time traveler trying to save his home while slowly loosing his memories. Not to mention the beautifully shot cutscenes of the Inbetween and the Other Side. He includes so many people behind the scenes as well, collabing with other members on lore, hiring building teams and people to make intros and credit scenes, and promoting fanart and fansongs from the community!

Quackity explores his lore through heavily scripted events and amazingly shot cut scenes. While the way he expresses his lore comes at the cost of improv, the payoff of the visuals and story is well worth it! The shots he makes of the smp is downright gorgeous, no to mention he’s the first person to include irl footage in his lore (not counting facecams)! He’s not afraid of thoroughly examining his own character, being one of the only people I can think of that shows us “past events” leading up to something that has already happened.

Badboyhalo, Antfrost, Ponk, Skeppy, Captain Puffy, Punz, Awesamdude, Hannahxxrose all work together on shared lore and the payoff is amazing! By introducing the Egg, a constant antagonistic force that constantly pulls on character’s relationships with each other, everyone is able to stream together to battle for or against the egg! There’s also plenty of room for people to do individual lore that's more intimate to their respective character. They spend hours changing vines, putting up posters, slowly shaping the smp in a way that makes it exciting to watch streams to see just what has changed everyday. Because there’s so many people necessary to tell the egg’s story, it does comes at the cost of time (the egg has been around FOREVER). However, they all work together super hard and I just admire their commitment to the story they’re trying to tell!

And Sam! He has several different “Modes” his character is in (and an entirely separate character, Sam Nook) that he gets to explore lore with. He’s a terrifying warden, he’s a money motivated businessman, he’s a conflicted lover, he’s a traumatized victim of the egg, and just so much more. Through having so many different “roles” in the rp he gets to explore relationships and plotlines with a whole array of people. Not to mention he’s absolutely cracked at redstone and has some of the most impressive builds on the server.

And Puffy! So much of her lore is calling into question the morality of the server and really makes you step back and think critically about the characters. Her character also has, in my opinion, one of the most interesting relationships with Dream, the main antagonist of the entire server, which is just fascinating to watch unfold. Not to mention she’s one of the first people to start exploring the backstory of her character!

George doesn’t exactly do lore. In fact he’s slept through so much of it it’s become a meme. And you know what? That mad man took that and ran with it. He explains his absence in the story by having his character literally being asleep through it, creating mystery where there used to just be an absence. He’s able to goof off with his friends and have borderline nonsensical streams, then at the end sucker punch the audience emotionally by “waking up” and have the viewers question just what was real and what wasn’t?

The smp has the freedom for people who want more independent lore to be able to explore their character’s that way as well!

Hbomb, Connereatspants, and Purpled don’t have a lot of lore on the smp, generally only coming on to have fun with everyone, but when they do have their moments it unfolds in very interesting ways!

Sapnap, Eret, and Schlatt maybe aren’t as active as some other people, but when they are on they actively participate in lore and have lasting impacts on the story (Ex: Eret’s betrayal, Sapnap’s visit to dream in the prison, Schlatt becoming president).

Philza mostly does his own thing, improving the server or making some bomb ass builds. He has incredibly devastating roles in lore (killing wilbur, blowing up L’manberg for the final time, starting the syndicate with Techno), but he also has quieter moments that speak to the depth his character has, such as fishing with fundy or reminiscing about his dead son and how it went so wrong. Like Techno, he doesn’t like to take lore completely seriously, often laughing no matter what’s happening or teasing chat after something big goes down, but his character is solid with a lot of potential for future lore.

Foolish has only started on his character and its already super interesting. The hints at his dark past as a “god of death” and his current conflict with the egg are intriguing as fuck. Not to mention the MASSIVE builds he does for everyone, helping to progress their lore as well.

Fundy has a lot of freedom with his character to participate however much he wants in lore. While generally he’s a trickster who loves to prank people he has enough tragedy build into his backstory he’s able to break the viewer’s heart with a flip of a switch. Not to mention his recent, almost surreal, stream that explored his character’s disturbing dreams that may or may not predict the future.

Niki is very character driven, exploring her character's grief of losing her best friend and her anger of being ignored in the very country she helped create. She has incredibly emotional moments, and even though she’s on her own building an underground city she still participates in other lore via teaming with jack manifold or the syndicate.

Jack Manifold’s lore is VERY character focused, and while he’s described his story as a “B plot that occasionally intersects with the main plot”, the story he tells is still fascinating. Being pushed aside not taken seriously his whole life, his character develops into a fun cartoony-esque villain who begs to be taken seriously, that has the depth of a truly conflicted person who is torn between wanting revenge on everyone who’s done him wrong and just wanting a friend.

Last but not least, the man himself, Dream. The most fascinating thing about his lore is that absolutely none of it is from his pov. All we know about his character is only from what we see from everyone else’s povs, and in his case it leads to a very intimidating villain! Not to mention, mans owns the damn server and yet has made himself the main antagonist! He is the only character I consider a “true villain” on the smp. His voice acting and writing is downright sinister. I could write a fucking essay on how his character’s obsession with power has led him to the point he thinks himself an unstoppable god

Everyone on this server is stunning and I love all of them!!!!!

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namjoonchronicles · 4 years ago

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tumble | yg

↳ genre fluff, established relationship, slight smut at the end

↳ words 5k ↳ summary preparing for close friend’s wedding gifts is a given for young married couple. an unexpected encounter with an old flame led to an unwanted rekindled feelings but karma reminds you who your heart truly belongs to, because it’s all about the actions, not words. ↳ notes this i wrote during first week of university of my final year, trying to run away from responsibility. midway, my friend @hellotherehoneybee was having a difficult week at hers too, so i wrote this extra fluff for her, i hope she noticed. thank you for working so hard! (i wish someone would comment on the work i put on the banners of each of my stories, but nevermind) ↳ warning attempts of infidelity (not by you) ↳ song ‘happiness is a butterfly’ lana del rey

Nimble fingers punched the numbers on the passcode pad, just outside the door. Crumpled papers on the floor. Supreme skateboards stacked on the wall. Yoongi walked in, greeted by a line of guitars at the corner of his studio. His attention was on the phone, preferring to text over calling. His face was shone by the light from it. His feet kicked away the crumpled papers on the floor to get to his computer. There’s a frame of baby breath on his table next to his stationery. A picture of you next to his desktop. Bothered by the melody he endlessly replayed in his head, he plans to record the notes in digital form. He hasn’t decided which work of his he wanted them in, but any of it would be just fine. Today, he is expecting a guest that will contribute to the guide. Jimin springs in first, as usual.

“Why do you lock the door knowing that I’m coming?!” Jimin groaned outside the door. He is leaning against the frames, knocking repeatedly.

This is exactly why he had those locks put up. Several young producers lined up. Yoongi is teaching them how to make music. With a wry look and dry greetings, Yoongi invited them in and started the meeting. The project is rather simple. Yoongi has provided a raw sample to the aspiring producers who will try to make lyrics. These melodies are then sung by Jimin. Yoongi whipped out his sample from his computer and he will give exactly 30 minute for the producers to think of ways to make the music a song. The young producers wrote down notes given by Yoongi. They write and they erase. They wrote and erased. Write. Scratch. Write. Scratch.

Noticing this, Yoongi gave a soft smile. It reminded him of himself when he was just starting. The uncertainty, the overwhelming feeling of not knowing if the lyrics are good enough, or just plain dumb. As an underground rapper with social anxiety, he was afraid to be ridiculed the most, and he is pretty sure that these producers have the same fear. What he is about to say is nothing new. In fact, he advises it frequently in his lectures. Clearing his throat and with the aura of a seasoned lyricist, he said,

“Go with your gut feelings. Understand the feel of the sample and what you could derive from it. Let your mind run wild. First rule of writing music is that there are no rules.”

He emphasizes on creativity. Jimin was trying to write the lyrics too. He wanted to learn to write faster. “Jimin, your problem is that you’re a perfectionist…” Yoongi spat, “Your mind goes haywire at the possibility of writing everything, you have no clear direction. That’s why it’s so hard. You select a theme, and you stay on it…”

“But Namjoon…” Jimin began.

“Namjoon is a genius. His diction is out of this world, and he has been writing lyrics for years. Don’t compare yourself to him or rather, learn with him rather than coming to me, uninvited,” Yoongi swivels in his chair as the three other producers hang their head low.

Jimin puckered his lips and muttered curses under his breath.

Yoongi reaches for the journal he kept by the book rack. When he opened them, a warranty card fell out. He crouches down to get them. It was from the phone you bought. He caught you buying a phone on an online store when he returns to the studio, earnestly picking a good one. You even asked him about these specs and technology terms you don’t know about. Some of it was written down as notes in this journal along with his own scribbles of song lyrics. You wanted to buy a phone for your mom and pretend that it was from your dad. Your mom always complains that your dad never gave her gifts and is reluctant to spend money on her. Yoongi didn’t need the extra information but you gave it to him anyway. Yoongi learnt from you that your mother had been using the same phone for a decade, and nothing can be updated anymore. And because your father isn’t doing anything about it but think about himself, you decide to buy your mom a good new phone. Saving your father’s face by pretending it was him who bought it.

You didn’t know this but, Yoongi fell in love with you once more.

That phone comes with a warranty card that is now made its home in his old journal. You know he wouldn’t throw any of his journals away.

Glancing at the digital clock on his shelf, he wondered, just how his favorite person in the world is doing…

Yoongi entertained questions from his students. Explaining the build up, the body, climax and ending. Sharing what is fun and what is not, in writing music. What’s cliché and what’s attention grabbing. But his explanation was cut halfway when his phone vibrated, and swiped his thumb over the caller ID and answered with a small, “Hello?”

Jimin and the students studied his face. At first, Yoongi seemed pretty laxed, and then he stood up, abruptly. Instantly and visibly tensed.

“Where are you?” Pause, “Okay, stay right there, I’ll be right over…” He grabs his coat from the hanger and his tongue glides along his drying lips upon ending the seemingly urgent call. He appears distressed but it is masked by his calm exterior.

“Is something the matter, hyung?” Jimin asked. “I have to leave, I am sorry because I have to cut the classes short. Make sure you email me the verses by noon tomorrow. I will deduct marks for late submissions…” Yoongi said in one breath and yanked the door open, had them leave the studio at once and locked them.

Namjoon was standing outside the hall, watching Yoongi as he trudges through. The older one was putting on his jacket albeit roughly and as quickly as he could. Namjoon couldn’t even get a proper greeting in return. It seems Yoongi is troubled by something.

Troubled by something is indeed accurate.

A few hours ago.

You thought you made a great choice. It’s what you wanted when it was your wedding, and you’re sure that Jungkook would like it too. Knowing just how obsessed he is with having everything the same color code, the sapphire blue kohiki plates would have fit in right into his kitchen like it’s one of the built-in. Yoongi always thought that Jungkook’s gifts are the hardest to choose because he is picky, but also not very picky. He has specified interest but also not very specified. You know more than anything that Jungkook is neither of those things. Ever since you knew the boy, he had always been grateful for any gifts he was given. It didn’t matter how expensive or how rare, it’s the thought that counts. Many years ago, Jungkook came to your house, when you and Yoongi were still dating, and he frequently used the kohiki bowls you have. He said he liked it. That's how you came to decide that his wedding gift would be just that. For his wife, you don’t really know her well, but you had Yoongi book a Swarovski perfume after recognizing that she frequently carries the fun sized bottle around when she’s out.

“Would you like to also see the latest collection of our Kohiki plates, Mdm. Min?” the salesperson politely addresses you and you thought that simply looking wouldn’t hurt. You after all had time to kill today.

Your hands glide over the impressive finishing of the white kohiki plates, truly in awe of the time and the craftsmanship involved in making this. They came in many sizes and as you narrowed down to the end of the gallery, you recognized a collection so similar with the one at home. You turned to the salesperson with a beaming smile, almost child-like. The man bowed at you and explained to you how this particular collection was especially sought after and high in demand, they decided to keep it in collection. Yoongi’s personal family collection had been imitated countless times in the past centuries, they eventually trademarked the design to be named, Empire Min’s timeless collection. It had served countless royalties in the whole world and the tableware was of grand prestige. Sometimes, it dawns over you that you married quite an incredible man with a lineage of such esteem, comparable to those of aristocracy.

Min Yoongi’s family may have stranded far from the royals now, but the traces are there. His delectable face, porcelain skin and honey-succulent voice, are as good as a blue bloods’. His family registrar was kept in the national museum and you had a glimpse of it during Chuseok every year, where they pay homage to his ancestors and it’s quite unbelievable that something from centuries ago was still available today. You didn’t ask a lot about how his family branched off the King, but you do know that the surname Min belonged to four most important Queens in the Joseon dynasty. Is that where his beauty originates from?

You smiled to yourself as you saw his signature underneath the gallery as the last few descendants of the Queen.

“The gifts are wrapped up, we will have it shipped personally to Mr. Jeon Jungkook as per addressed…” the salesman ensured you with an assuring voice.

Kohiki plates aren’t cheap to say the least. But Min Yoongi doesn’t like you worrying about it. Much less, he’d rather have you spend his hard-earned money because he doesn’t always know what you like. One last thing, a visit to the gallery with your trustee art enthusiast, Kim Namjoon.

He stride over as he ended the call. He looks everly dashing in those turtlenecks and grey blazer. His pectorals and buff body looks great in it. He wore those glasses that made him look like he was a postdoctoral student. Only he isn’t. He shoves his phone into his breast-pocket and his face shifted from a serious one to a cheeky expression. He presented his arm for you to take and embraced in a small talk with you.

“You just ended your lecture?” you asked him. “It took a little longer than planned, sorry about that…” he chuckles, handsomely.

“This gallery better be lit…” “You won’t be sorry. I promise.”

Namjoon guides you into an exhibition, guarded by several men in black suits and ear-pieces. The whole way there, you realized that there was no one around. It is only given, because Namjoon owns it. It seems he had it shut down for the day, because the most important painting is arriving from Versailles, and he wants nobody to have a look on it. Except you, of course. And it’s easier to do painting shopping without people hustling in and out trying to catch a glimpse of the ‘Kim Namjoon’. Namjoon talked to you about the randomness of things as he introduces to you his favorite works. He was talking about his sudden trip to Paris and how he regrets it, then talking about a wrong purchase and the books he is currently reading. All in a quiet voice, the kind you give to your lovers.

But you know that’s just Namjoon being flirtatious like it’s his second name.

Suddenly, you stopped in your tracks. This section of the gallery feels like it’s cut off from the rest. It has been endless modern art since the entrance until a few paintings back. This one felt like it was Rome or the Renaissance. The sculptures and dramatic scenes, the skin tones and flesh, it was a whole other world. You turned to Namjoon, questioning him with your eyes. You know him well enough to know that he doesn’t like this type of art.

“I had a change of heart… while trying to understand yours,” he confessed. And it sounded strange because he let those words glide out as if he had no control over it. He stepped back, pressed his lips together for saying more than he thought necessary, dropped his shoulder and turned to the art he loved.

“I understand it now,” he added, speaking to the frames, “Why do you like them so much… There’s so many stories to tell from each of these characters…”

You remember explaining to him about eyes in realistic paintings. How you wonder what they’ve seen, and what they have experienced. These endless thoughts usually trouble Namjoon, up to when he was about to sleep. You look beyond the surface of this painting and put feelings in them. That’s when he realized that emotions can be painted. Namjoon owed it to you, to having understood himself. And as he explained just how your art classes changed his perspective in life, he introduced to you the painting he thinks fit Jungkook the most. When you saw this painting unveiled before your eyes, you couldn’t agree more. It would look best in his spacious living room. Namjoon watched you as you signed the insurance paper to deliver the artwork. Watching you from afar like this felt foreign. With the history you both had, who would have thought that he would spend his life dreading the future he could have had with you.

It is all too late now.

The ring around your finger isn’t his. Maybe it’s for the better. He couldn’t have cared for you better than Yoongi does.

The most difficult thing about this relationship is, getting stuck between caring too much, and not caring at all.

“So you’ll deliver them to Jungkook’s house soon?” your eyes darted up at him as he approached the table.

“Leave it to me…” he said with a broad smile and dire confidence from a seasoned seller. A billion dollar man like him, could get away with anything with that smile.

Namjoon hooks his finger around the flaps of the door handle of your car and watches you climb in. Winding the window down, he rests his elbows and fixes his eyes on you, a coy smile on his pretty lips. You darted at him a look. A look you’d give to your malice doing little brother to warn him.

“Go on dates, go meet people, Namjoon… How long will you live this way?” “How would you know I’m not meeting people?” “You stacked books in my online bookstore, and still use my Netflix account to watch movies…” “Books and movies are better companions.”

You looked at him through your lashes and in those particular moments of silence, glances were exchanged and feeling somehow attempted to rekindle, however, before it could, you looked away.

“I’m going to Yoongi’s office, I’ll tell him you said hi…” “But I didn’t…” “Goodbye, Namjoon.”

The white Mazda CX-3 glides away, seamlessly. Stopped at the junction, and entered the main road. All these while, Namjoon kept watching. And it seems like, all his life, he had been watching. Because that was all what he was courageous enough to do.

“‘She loved him too early, and he loved her too late…” Namjoon muttered to himself.

At the junctions, your car pulls to a stop as the traffic light turns red. The building you were in were kilometers away but the scent of Namjoon’s body lotion hasn’t left. You always refrain from reading too much anything Namjoon does because you’re not who you were anymore. Your loyalty is with Min Yoongi now and it should be. Rather than feeling like you used to feel for Namjoon, it actually narrows more to pity. Namjoon had it all. He had your endless support, you had been his emotional anchor, and he had taken you for granted for many years. Eventually, you pick up your worth and search within yourself what you’ve given him. What you found out when you peel yourself away from everything that is Namjoon, is the fact that he had given you nothing but his concerns. There was no give and take. All he does is take.

Finding yourself, led you to finding Yoongi.

Yoongi was nothing easy to have. So it daunts you that difficult men might have been your type. Yoongi is rash and dry on his best day and even more harsh and unapologetic than anyone you have ever met. It came to a point where you exploded, thinking that even as life swallowed you whole and his arms was the only thing that could save you, you’d rather be swallowed whole. When Yoongi heard such a damning insult to his being, he got even. As harsh as Yoongi appears to be, he was a softie right under the flesh. Under his blank expression and inattentive eyes, he is all soul and bones. The more you know him, the more you realize that you both are strikingly alike. From the way you solve problems to the way he speaks, you both are a lot more common than you are different.

He is so intelligent and witty and blunt. You can ask him about literally anything and he always has an opinion about it. Because of his wide arrays of interest, you can never run out of topics to talk about. He is a great fun, and always adventurous although he prefers to whine about it at first. He said he hates camping but when you forced him to come with you, he looked like he has been camping his whole life. Lit the bonfire within seconds, adapted the forest life and just casually calm. The kind of calmness you hadn’t felt in awhile, you felt in Yoongi’s presence. Camping nights are always so romantic with him playing the guitars and you requesting songs you know he doesn’t know. There will be crinkles around his eyes before he looks down, embarrassed for not knowing that song. Once you give him a listen, he could play by ear.

He is adorable when he is confused or terribly tired. One night, he asked if you would come over his studio’s rooftop to spend time together. He spoke two sentences and fell asleep while you were talking. He unknowingly leaned his head on your shoulder as he dozes off. You brushed his hair away and thumbed his cheeks. His lips pouting cutely as he slept. You sat awfully still for hours, hours that he is still paying off with himself. To this day. It is astonishing how he could look like the cutest little kitty and also looked like he could swallow you whole.

His dangly multi earrings, gorgeous eyes and veiny arms, his multifaceted talents are as endless as his sweet words. Yoongi could make you feel heard without you saying a word.

The pedal planted to the ground, screeching tires and loud crashes. The windows on the driver side shattered and the airbag deployed. Loud ringing in your head as you try to gather your thoughts. What’s happened? You drove ahead a little more, because if you didn’t the road would have been congested. You pressed the hazard light on and parked on the side of the road to avoid other cars.

Hooking your fingers around the car handle, the door was pushed open. The car that collided with you stopped behind you. Your Mazda could continue driving but you don’t want to risk it because the shell of the tire was a little dented. The sharp ends were grazing your tire if you continued. The driver whose car you collided with was eerily quiet but he kept staring at an interval. You gathered your purse and fished for your phone.

“Please don’t get mad…” you huffed, “I got into an accident…” The back of your wrist on your forehead as you looked around in worry.

“I am at a round-a-about pass on Samsung Building 77 street… I’ll send the location,” you breathed, oddly a little calmer than he expected you to be. It all happens too quickly. You weren’t sure who was in the wrong. The last thing you remember was using the signal stick to turn to the right and the car on the right wanted to head to the left, surreptitiously ignoring the signal you gave. It seemed ages for Yoongi to get there, but when he did, he parked a little further and got off the car, jogging to where you are. Your eyes stung and got watery as he came to get you. You were so grateful that he wasn’t angry and in fact, just wanted to know where you were so he could be where you are. He held onto your hand as he went to inspect the car and its damages.

“What are you going to do with my headlight?” the owner of the other car came over, uninvited. Yoongi instinctively pulls you behind him at the forwardness of this man.

“Take it easy, let’s check the dashcam to see who was actually in the wrong, let’s take this to the police station…”

“What police station, it is more than obvious that she was driving recklessly and not paying attention!” The man tried to go over Yoongi to get to you but Yoongi held his palm outward at this rude man.

“Like I said, we will take this to the police station and they’ll decide who is in the wrong and needs to pay for the damages…” Yoongi once again marched against this man and stared dead into his eyes while dialing on his phone. He placed his phone on his ear and continued to warn the man with his body language.

“The insurance company? Yes, I have a car you need to tow. We’re along Samsung 77th Street by the roundabout, how long will you take to get here? 10 minutes, okay…” Yoongi spoke on the phone. You held onto Yoongi’s arm tighter. One hand in his tight grip, the other clawing on his sleeves, slightly below his elbow. Your eyes unfocused. You were biting your lips. Chewing on them.

Yoongi climbed into his car after you. Pressed the car engine on and thumbed your knee. You weren’t as calm now.

“What if it is actually my fault? What if I was the one driving foolishly…?” You stuttered.

“We will let the police decide okay? We hadn’t even seen the footage from the dash cam yet, he could just be manipulating you to think that you were in the wrong, just by the look on his face I know he’s the type to drive like a drunkard and blame people for his mistakes…” Yoongi’s large palm covered your entire knee.

“You want jellies?” he tries to console you. “What about the car?” you looked over the car seat to the view of your stranded Mazda.

“The insurance company will have it towed, don’t worry… It’ll be okay,” he smiles and chuckles lightly, “This isn’t a big deal, accidents happen all the time, honey.”

The car pulled to a stop at the red traffic light, and he extended his arm to gather your hand to kiss your knuckles. You looked at him with watery eyes, full of guilt and despair and you said to him in broken voice,

“I’m so s-sorry… I’ve troubled you,” you bursted into tears, “I just went out to get gifts for Jungkook’s wedding and it all happened so fast…” Yoongi gathered your head in one hand, pulling your face into his nape. He plants kisses on your head and fondly smiles against your hair. . . . .

The police decided to hold the man accountable. He was clearly changing lanes without signals, and he was also ignoring your obvious signals. Not only was he driving past the speed limit at a roundabout in broad daylight, he had the audacity to shift the blames towards you. The dash cam was proof that he was a reckless driver so he had his driving license suspended and he had to pay for damages you faced. Yoongi laced his fingers into the gaps of yours as he turned around from the man. Yoongi smiled smugly and took you out of the police station. With the reports done and you were acquitted from any traffic misconduct, the car insurance company will cater to all the repairing. Yoongi will have to drive you everywhere for now but it wasn’t something he minds doing.

You let go of his hand and proceed to walk to the car, hugging yourself while he watches you from behind. Your steps weren’t hurried, rather they were a bit slow but for some reason you thought it was far better to not hold him. In your head, you are still scolding yourself and knowing you as far as he did, he understood it. He climbs into the car, avoiding eye contact as his index finger sunk into the engine button. You were dazed, looking out the window at everything on the outside. Noticing this, Yoongi stops by your favorite mall. He said he wanted to get some tools and appliances for the sink at home. Every three months, Yoongi would have the sink maintained by pouring cleaning liquid and have it stay there overnight so it won’t clog anytime soon. Usually, when this happens, he would buy dinners outside and take you out for breakfast the next morning.

Both of you once experienced the sink clogging before, and the whole kitchen was flooded with foul-smelling liquid. To make matters worse, Yoongi was away for business in Tokyo, and you had to handle them alone. Some plumbers walked in to help, and even if Yoongi was grateful for their help, he would rather his house be under his maintenance. That's why he keeps a schedule for every heavy duty appliance in the house. This is to avoid unnecessary over spending and inviting unnecessary people inside the house. He has a yearly check for the washing machine, the refrigerator, the electric stove, the air-conditioners and the oven. He is always making sure that everything is safe for you to use.

With the car parked so swiftly, Yoongi joins you in the mall's lobby. There aren’t many people around since it’s weekdays. And as if you remembered that you needed a conversation, you jerked your head up and to the side, at your husband.

“Oh right! You have a class today?” “Sent them home early with an assignment to mark later…”

He pauses, momentarily. Lifting his left wrist for the time, he yanked his sleeve up. He then, out of a sudden let out a sigh,

“Should we have dinner here or…” his voice drawls, “I plan to start on the sink right away when we get home…” “That sounds great, I don’t feel like cooking…”

You lifted your eyes at the elevator door opening before you. Yoongi lets you step in first. You move to the back of the elevator at the corner, by habit and Yoongi joins you. He could see from your face that the accident hadn’t left your mind. So when the elevator arrived at the second floor, instead of the fourth where the hardware stores were, he took your hand and walked out. You didn’t question him right away but you thought it was odd.

“Ice-cream…” he beamed at you.

He ordered your favorite. Waffles, drizzled with chocolate syrup and some fruits. Then you talked about Jungkook’s wedding gifts and plans on that day. He asked you about the venues since you were the one that booked them. You excitedly say that it was in great shape. The venue was a garden, it has this magnificent backdrop of a man-made lake and Jungkook’s fiancé loved the idea of exchanging vows at the view. However, your smile swept away when you spoke about the wedding dress.

“Why?” Yoongi spoke softly. “Because she seemed conflicted to follow what her friends’ recommended instead of what she truly wanted. She texted me yesterday, saying that she hated her wedding dress,” your shoulders dropped. “Why did she hate them?” “Her friends basically forced her to get this dress from a designer they know. From what I heard he was pretty famous, but she originally wanted her old classmate to make one for her. So now she regrets it, because the dress was not her style,” you sighed yet again.

Yoongi looked at you through his bangs and a small smile formed in the corner of his lips. Always taking in other peoples’ problems as your own, always thinking of others and always solving other people’s problems like your own. Yoongi could feel how devastated you were to hear that story first hand, and he is certain, as you were scooping those waffles into your mouth, you are thinking of ways to fix it. Typical. When you make a folded taco, you would take the ugliest one so he could have the prettier sets. When you buy medical supplies, you always make two purchases, one for him. The bigger portion of cake is for him, the larger piece, the better half. Even when you ate something you think is tasty, you would buy one for him at home.

In one ways or another, you are constantly thinking of him. It gives him butterflies. How lucky was he to be able to find you. How can someone look past such a genuinely beautiful person. Inside and out. Whose love is this true and this devoted. Only a dire fool, that is.

From the ways you love him, he is most certain that you haven't changed any part of you.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, “I bought you something… I saw this at the bookstore, it's a moon and star water globe and I thought it would look good on your studio desk…” You rummaged your bag for the item while your husband sat there, staring at you with a fond smile. Literally, a woman’s bag is a wonder. There’s all kinds of things in there. Receipts from 5 years ago, set of cutleries for travelling, hand sanitizer, tissues, a notepad, a glue gun and candies. Coins.

He picks the old receipts up between his index finger and middle finger.

“Why do you keep these things?” he chuckles. You looked over at him and snatched them.

“Are you worried that a cop may come and ask you, where were you, four years ago at 2:53 pm so you can whip out that receipt from your back and be like, ‘I was at the Hunts Restaurant sir, I had a bento and tea. I have receipts to prove it?’ For your alibi?”

“I might…” you dashed. Half of your head disappeared into the bag, still looking for the globe.

Yoongi picks up Band-Aids, some unopened menstrual pads and coupons from your favorite pizza place that expired four months ago.

“Honestly…” he comments.

“Aha!” You exclaimed, “The globe…”

The globe, like its name, has moon and stars on it. His nimble fingers examined it, closely. You were so expectant of what he’ll say.

“It’s pretty…” he said. “Isn’t it…” you gushed.

You return them into your bag because Yoongi don’t have one. Once again, you reminded him to put them on his table later on. He assures you he will, he even kept it in the car’s dashboard, so that when he returns to the office, he’ll make sure to take it with him. On the ride back home, you fell asleep. He made sure that he went over the bumps on the road gently, making his turns like a grandma on the wheel. He parked the car and waited. Fishing out his phone and he took pictures of you sleeping. He scrolls down messages from work, check on items he bought online, read a few emails...

Then you inhaled sharply, awake. Stretching your fingers.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” you mewled sleepily. “Based on experience, you take 10-15 minutes to wake up when the car stops... “ he nonchalantly passed. You smiled at his bluntness. He endured 10-15 minutes of silence with his sleeping wife despite the turmoil he went through today. You couldn’t have married a better man. Even if there was a better man out there, if it isn’t Yoongi, you don’t want him.

Yoongi wasn’t lying when he said he wants to work on the sink immediately. You held the torch while he examined the sink. He wants to change the tap and clean the drainage hole. While he was struggling under the counter, you can’t help thinking that you were so fortunate. From how he handles things, to how he comforted you in times of need, to how he is made of husband material, you are certain, that God made this one, especially for you.

When he rolled out from underneath the sink, he caught you daydreaming. And he threw a sheepish smile at you. His thin white shirt is now drenched with spots of sweats on his chest and along his back. And he snarkily say,

“Wanna shower?”

You bit your lips at his remarks, playing coy at his forwardness. When in all honesty, you were down for it. And all the showers you will have in the future. . . .

Deep in you, knees dug into the mattress, between your thighs. His veiny arms gripping hard on the bed sheet. The sounds of heavy paintings, squelching cascaded in the room. He hovers sloppy kisses along your jaws like he was possessed and he said in his husky voice,

“That guy Namjoon… don’t feel right…” “I’ve been meaning to…” hisses in the delectable pain, “Talk about him…”

You propped your elbows up, leaning against it, brushing sweaty skin with Yoongi, you spoke is rasps,

“He said some strange things, so I am going to… delete him.”

Yoongi bit his smile, his porcelain skin glistening with the sweat that drenched him. His hand glides down your torso, with touches so hungry and starved kisses. He drew out a long deep moan, dove his face into your neck, chanted your name like a mantra--like a man standing on the verge of sanity, licking on the taste of infinity. .

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abrakophile · 3 years ago

Text

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

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nostalgebraist · 4 years ago

Text

well, I mean the guy did create an evil moron AI that killed all the scientists on his spaceship

[EDIT 8/8/20: since it turns out AI Dungeon’s model was finetuned, the experience recounted here was probably less informative about GPT-3 than I had thought.]

Played around with GPT-3 a bit last night on AI Dungeon.

(I followed the procedure I’ve seen recommended: sign up for the Premium trial, switch to “Dragon” model, start a new game, select option 6/custom, use the “Story” action mode, and type. There’s a slider called “Randomness” which seems likely to be temperature, and I kept it at the default of 1.

People on LW seem to be interpreting this configuration as equivalent to simply prompting the API, although I can’t be sure there aren’t AI-Dungeon-specific customizations in play. That said, the configurability of the API and GPT-3 itself is so limited that I’m not too worried -- if anything I’m more curious what AI Dungeon could possibly by doing to distinguish their GPT-3 app from anything else using the same API.)

Anyway, I went through a few abortive attempts where I kept being told “the AI doesn’t know what to do” -- dunno what that means -- and eventually found one prompt-and-response flow that worked pretty well. Lacking any really good topic ideas, I went with the default of talking about GPT-3 itself, and started to RP a kind of straw-man of myself. I chose a dialogue format since a lot of people have been doing that, following gwern.

Surely some of this is confirmation bias, and I only had the one interaction (compared to what must be thousands of “interactions” over the course of my GPT-2 obsession), but it felt very much like GPT-2 to me?

Like GPT-2, it gets easy things, like the dialogue format. Like GPT-2, it successfully reproduces the sound/style/texture of a certain kind of text once it’s gotten the gist, though generally erring on the side of safe-but-boring boilerplate talk.

Like GPT-2, it has a range of declarative knowledge which makes for cute surprises (note how it’s the first to mention “Eliezer,” and then how it name-drops “MIRI” and “CFAR”!) And like GPT-2, it knows that various unique entities are connected to one another but is hazy on what those connections are, or what stable world they fit into. (“Eliezer” is under-appreciated . . . at MIRI and CFAR, and he’s also apparently doing profound AI work while also being a fictional character who appears in the “sequel” to something.)

Like GPT-2, it really knows what arguments sound like, but is much shakier on how they actually work. Much of my ornery RP character’s behavior consisted of prodding “Friend” on their obvious logical errors. I never got the impression that the model understood such points after I made them -- see in particular its attempts to write dialogue for “my” character.

The consciousness/matter/etc. discussion at the end is really, spookily good! . . . and if you follow @nostalgebraist-autoresponder you’ve seen GPT-2 have these kinds of Deep Thoughts on the regular.

Admittedly, that isn’t a fair comparison, because N-A is a personal hobby project with lots of customization. But that’s sort of my point: either of these things can do great stuff if you treat it as a platform for creative work that has a learning curve, and likewise either can be unimpressive if you view it as a static thing someone made in a lab that you can assess in 30 minutes and then walk away from.

I unashamedly did the assess-in-30-min thing with poor GPT-3, here, and so here I am, telling you what anyone would after such a desultory demo :)

----

Text is reproduced below. Following gwern’s convention, bold is me and non-bold is GPT-3. (Sometimes it went ahead and wrote lines for me-AKA-“You,” and these can be distinguished by their lack of bold. You’ll see in some places that I thought it was doing a fun bit and let it run for longer than usual before dropping back in.)

----

You are talking to a friend on the internet about a machine learning debate between Scott Alexander, Gwern, and nostalgebraist. You have been looking at their posts for hours.

Friend: I think GPT-3's demonstration that language model scaling laws continue is worth reflecting on maybe more than you have. Or nostalgebraist has.

You: Of course they continue! We predicted they would. What did we learn from GPT-3 that we didn't already know?

Friend: That's just it, we already knew language models scale, we already knew the parameters of their distributions. What did we learn? We learned that the process repeats.

You: What do you mean by "the process repeats"?

Friend: Well if you were building a generative language model that could generate the set of all possible books, and you trained it on a corpus of a few hundred thousand books.

You: ...then what?

Friend: Well then you'd do it again with the books plus whatever else your machine learned from.

You: Wait, what did my machine learn from except the books? I thought you said it was trained on "a corpus of a few hundred thousand books." Was there anything besides that?

You: No? So then what the hell is this all about?

You: Wait a minute... are you talking about Eliezer's work with blogging AI?

Friend: Yes.

You: You mean... you're one of its fans? I thought you were one of the "movement"

Friend: Yes, fan might be too strong a word but I think there is some real value to Eliezer's work.

You: Okay, which parts? Timeless Decision Theory? Coherent Extrapolated Volition? HPMOR? And what does this have to do with our language modeling discussion?

Friend: Well, lets just say I think that Eliezer's understanding of the potential of artificial intelligence is very underappreciated and in my opinion represents a serious weakness in much of the work coming out of MIRI and CFAR. I think your position on that is clear.

You: Well, I mean the guy did create an evil moron AI that killed all the scientists on his spaceship.

Friend: Hah, that's just one of the many myths about his experiment. It was a thought experiment not a real AI. And it didn't kill anyone.

You: But... I mean it killed some people.

Friend: Only in the sequel. And that was just a robot it was piloting, not a spaceship.

You: Umm... Well, whatever. The robot was blown up and some people died.

Friend: Yes, after it rescued them from a radiation storm that killed the other people on the ship.

You: Okay, I'm learning some new and disturbing things about your sympathies for mad scientists who've left trails of blood in their wake, and I'll . . . need some time process them, TBH. Can we get this discussion back on track for now, though? We were talking about GPT-2/3 and the idea that you can just scale up a language model and get to AGI.

You: While I certainly agree that some of the things Eliezer's done are of great value, I think we both know his ideas on AI are... problematic.

Friend: It's funny you mention Eliezer's work because it reminds me of a point I wanted to make.

You: Okay, make it.

Friend: Well, I think there is an important distinction between his AGI work and the other stuff you mention.

You: And that is?

Friend: His AGI work actually succeeds.

You: ...I don't follow. I mean Timeless Decision Theory is a big pile of...

Friend: No, no, not TDoT, I'm talking about the AI work. Look, if you want to know if a certain AI architecture can lead to human-level intelligence or beyond, then GPT-2 is proof that the approach Eliezer has been taking can work.

You: Okay, I'll grant you that. But I don't think it's as simple as just scaling up a language model to get to human-level intelligence. And I don't think Eliezer's work proves that it is.

Friend: You're just saying that because you have your own opinion on the matter. But that's okay, everyone does! But the thing is, this isn't just your opinion. It's every other AI researcher's opinion too. You all just won't admit it.

You: Wait... I won't admit that "every other AI researcher" agrees with me? If that were true, wouldn't I be celebrating?

Friend: No, what I mean is that every other AI researcher doesn't agree with you on a fundamental level. Namely, your failure to grasp the point I'm trying to make right now.

You: Sorry. Could you restate that point again, and see if I get it this time?

Friend: Sure. Let's imagine a scenario in which an AI researcher believes they can get to human-level intelligence or beyond using some language-based model.

You: Okay.

Friend: Now, what do you think would happen if they scaled up that language-based model to the size of a human brain?

You: I don't know.

You: Like, it depends on the architecture of their model, right?

Friend: Exactly.

You: Okay, I guess it would probably fail in some spectacular way. The model would overheat or something.

Friend: No, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't.

You: Well, okay, then maybe it would pass the Turing Test.

Friend: You really think so? Even if we suppose that this hypothetical language-based model works exactly like the human brain does, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't pass the Turing Test.

You: So what are you saying it would do, then? You were explaining some point I failed to grasp, here -- what is it? What would this model do?

Friend: It would write a great novel.

You: A great novel?

Friend: Yes, a great novel. Or maybe several of them. Let me explain. Do you know what consciousness is?

You: Well, I guess it's like being self-aware, right? You're conscious of yourself and your surroundings.

Friend: Okay, but how do you know you're conscious? What exactly is happening when you're conscious?

You: Uh... I don't know. I guess you're just aware of things.

Friend: Right, and do you experience this "awareness" in any other way than through your senses?

You: I suppose not.

Friend: Okay, so can you describe the process of sensing in detail? What happens when you sense something, and what is actually happening when this happens?

You: I see what you're getting at.

You: ...wait, no, I'm not sure that I do.

Friend: Think of when you see something. When you see something, what's actually happening?

You: Hm... light is hitting my eyes and stimulating a reaction.

Friend: What is light, and what is an eye?

You: Hm... they're both just complicated matter. Electrons and photons, mostly.

Friend: And what is a photon, or an electron, for that matter?

You: Well, they're little bundles of energy.

Friend: And what is energy?

You: It's... not really anything. It's just what something does, I guess. It's like... it's a thing that makes stuff happen.

----

#ai tag #gpt-3

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itsjusta · 4 years ago

Text

WEEKLY UPDATE # 9

Dec. 6

I slept good gabii and dali rako ka sleep kos gikan ko cry hahah but my heart is so heavy doe idkkk a lot of thoughts bother me. getting news about your lovelife makes my heart heavy because aishhh but i’m really happy for you doeee

i will try not to cry na cos i’m always crying na doe i look like an idiot naaa i just hope the heaviness goes away cos it’s so lain sa feeling (i cried after dis doe hahaahahah 🥺)

it’s 10:30 am pa but i’m crying na aishhh why i cry in the morning and at night aishhhh why does everything have to hurt this much doe :( i really am happy for you but it hurts so, so much to see you opening your heart and giving your love to another. i’m happy na you’re going to new places and going on adventures that we didn’t have the opportunity na to go to. it hurts na we didn’t have the chance to go to these places together but i hope you fill this new chapter of your life with adventures and i hope you have the best time of your life ❤️ i’ll support u gyd bsag unsa pana 🤗 someday soon, i will get over with all this pain. somedaaaay.

today was just chill but my heart was heavy the whole day. i dont like days these doe but its okay, i will see better days. i just wish btaw na by one year na break nata, i’m gonna be better and you’ll also be genuinely happy na. i hope things will be better for us by then.

also at dinner doe i was pusa-ing the sili in my sauce and i remember when we have sauce kay ako gyd tig lata sa sili cos ma scared ka and imo i cover imo eyes or magpalayo hahahahah aishhh what a scaredy cat 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

i also looked at mom’s pics in her gallery doe she has pics of us sa house atong mga april and i miss those days aiissshhh i was happy back then, we were happy. i wasn’t dealing with a heartbreak, i was just enjoying quarantine pa and now its been months na so sad and kapoy hayst ux2 ko nalang bumalik :(((((

Dec. 7

separate post hehe

Dec. 8

Woke up with a heavy heart doe. This morning, I asked for strength from the Lord. I have a feeling you and I are gonna undergo a lot of changes doe. idk i’m so weird but i have a feeling you will start to distance yourself from me and it’s gonna be super hard for me gyd so i’m asking na my heart can take the pain 😔

but u know what, i went to the backyard today and i saw na it’s such a beautiful day today doe. the sun is up and it sounds so calm and i realized na i should not waste a beautiful day like this being sad hehe and i wanna say this to u but im shy cos u didnt reply to me na hahaha but i want u to also enjoy this beautiful day!!! ♥️♥️ i hope you will be happy today doe and good luck with everything! (HEY IDIOT U VISITED TUMBLR JUST BEFORE I WROTE THIS PLS COME BACK AND READ THIS PART COS I REALLY WANT U TO READ THIS PARAGRAPH 🥺)

after the sun went down, na sad napd dayon ko doe aishhh i get so annoyed with my thoughts doe cos i always think like where u are, what u doin stuff like dat and it annoys meee cos ako ramay gaka bother nge :((( so i sometimes turn my active status sa messenger off so i dont see nga offline ka or online naka doe aishhhh i hate this brain doe dapat not na sya sge think about saimoha everyday!!!!

also, u played poker tonight and i just wanna tell u to amping pauli doe cos its very gabii na u drive safely okay and i hope u have fun playing but dont gasto too much 🤦🏻‍♀️ i’ll just say this here cos i dont want u to think na im samok samoking u too much hehe pls amping always!

Dec. 9

I went to the backyard again this morning and I talked to the Lord doe and naka cry ko hahah I just told Him everything has been so hard doe and I wish for the bad days to end soon. Right now, I think I’m just borrowing strength nalang gyd from others doe cos my heart is so tired na doeee hehe but i know all of this will end i can fully accept na gyd everything and even then, i will always have love for you. Thank you also doe for giving me strength. 🤗

Today was a better day doeee not so many things running through my mind heheh

Dec. 10

Heyyy thank u so much for today doe and for the gifts heheh i had fun today!!! and i was really happy cos its like our tambays sauna here in the house na we just being idiots lang 🥺 i’m also happy that we’re not awkward doe cos aish dats so lain hahahah

u know i imagined na i would cry a lot this day cos i was planning to tell u gyd like face to face of my feelings, like how i’m so proud of u and how i will always be there but idk i get shy na dayon in person HAHAHAH but i think u got my msg na with the letters doe cry pa gani ka a lot heehhe not my fault 🤪🤪🤪

also i hope not ko ipa maoy2 na dayon the next days cos ang motto raba sako life karon kay happy for 1 day, sad for 1 month! ahhahah grrr 😡 but thank u very much!!!!! dat was a much needed hang out doe thank u ♥️

if u want a break from everything, i’m always just here in the house with the idiot dogs hahahah i’m always here for u doe!

Dec. 11

it’s back to my old life nga wala i look forward again!!! hahahaha 😢😢 I went to the dentist today to pa pasta doe and i tot everything was okay na with dad like balo na sya pila cos mom man nag say saiya doe and mom said okay na but when i said now nga 4,700 tanan including my pills he pamalikas doe i was so bv

i said to mom cancel nalang cos dad was yawyaw na big na daw au gasto saako teeth and i wasn’t the one raba gyd nga nag say magpapasta many it was mom but i thought nag agree najd sila doe aishhh i dont like gyd nga mangayo kwarta kay daddy doe cos it makes me feel utangan and i dont like feeling like dat cos i dont wanna be indebted to him i dont like having connections with him hahahah

i think i cannot have gyd a good relationship with him doe cos i got traumatized by the things he did in the past maybe if i have money na in the future magpa therapy ko doe to resolve issues in my past maybe ma forgive nako sya and ma okay2 nami doe and i think i’ll also become a better person if i can resolve my issues with him doeee

mom also chika that she didnt ila u yesterday abi niya tig deliver ka sa lazada kay ikaw daw nag tunol and nag mask and kalo pa gyd daw ka hhahaha aishhh she just asked a few things also doe hehe u visit dis idiot again soon! i uban2 also to her sa laguindingan naa lang gihatag kay ate sweet

i was also pissed with khalid doe cos he got a task na tig 2000 words each two kabuok and i said 1,500 he said overpriced daw?!?!? he said 1k ra daw kayahay buh!!!!!! aish idk doe if im really overpricing i wanna ask u now but i think u dont wanna talk to me now doe heheh next time nalng if mag talk nata

its gabii na doe and naa ko friend nag chika saiya 2020 tas nag ask sya how my 2020 went issa naka hilak na nuon ko doe cos it makes me cry to remember everything jd HAHAHAH aisshhh imbis wala pako ka cry today 🥺

Dec. 12

good morning!! u amping going to binuangan doe!! 😊

i went to the mall this afternoon i like to lakaw2 cos it takes my mind off things but usahay ra au ko makalakaw aishh

Dec. 13

today was a very boriiing and long day doe nag tan awa rajd ko teen wolf tibuok adlaw as in!!! i also cried for like 5 mins kay mag sleep unta ko pero aish u know what, bisag dugay2 na inani ako life like wala jd koy ka storya whole day, mag tan awa rako, lain gyd ghapon sa feeling doe. it’s like anad naman ko nga inani pero dili gihapon ko anad nga i feel so empty doe like idkkk hollow lang jd ang feeling :((

i just miss really being happy gyd doeee now i mostly feel like okay lang or sad. usahay lang ko ma happy but not gyd genuinely happy and it still makes me cry doe loollzzttt days like these i really want someone to say na all will be okay, but ako nalang gyd mag tell sa ako self ana doe cos days like these all i got is myself gyd

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ascension-soliloquy · 5 years ago

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First time read of Mistborn book 1: The Final Empire

This is my first time doing something like this. I’m not sure how interesting it will be for anyone else. Usually when I read it’s more, well...I don’t know if passively is the right word, but I don’t normally take notes or write my thoughts down. I’m not doing a recap, I’m expecting you to have read the book and be familiar with it. I’m not doing in depth analysis on every chapter or every little plot point, I’m just writing down things whenever I think of them.

•So far I’m on chapter 17 and right now I only have one prediction. Reen will show up again at some point in the series, he will have power, either Misting or Mistborn, and there will be a confrontation between him and Vin. Either that or between both of them and their father. Or just between Vin and her father. I’m probably wrong. Haha

•Also, I’m guessing the blurbs at the beginning of each chapter are from the book Sazed is translating.

•Chapter 28.

“The Deepness must be destroyed... Many do not realize that it is sentient, but I have sensed its mind...the few times I have confronted it directly. It is a thing of destruction, madness, and corruption. It would destroy this world not out of spite or out of animosity, but simply because that is what it does.”

My guess is that rather than destroy the Deepness, he was possessed by it.

•From the start Vin reminded me of a combination of Min and Egwene from the Wheel of Time. I only know about BS from him finishing the WOT series, so I suppose comparisons are inevitable for me. When we first meet Vin she has short hair and wears boy clothes, so that’s like Min, and she is ambitious about learning magic, so that’s like Egwene. All three characters seem to be in the habit of doing what they want, rather than what they are told to do. I always liked Egwene and Min, but so far I think I might actually like Vin better. Maybe because she has a lot of POV in this book, whereas we had to wait a while to get POV from the other two in WOT.

[The next paragraph sort of contains spoilers for the last three books in the Wheel of Time]

I hope Elend doesn’t turn out to be the Gawyn of this story. When she was telling him about how skaa are intelligent, I was thinking, “no Vin! I don’t like the questions he’s asking you. Don’t trust him!” Then when he defended her to his friends, I was like, maybe he’s okay. Oh, but now he’s going to have her followed. Going behind her back, kinda getting Gawyn vibes. (I’m talking about what Gawyn did in the last three WOT books, so if you haven’t gotten that far, spoilers, so I won’t get into it here.)

•”Be careful, Mistress —become too fond of reading, and you may just turn into a scholar.”

Vin shook her head. “Not if all the books I read are going to end like this one!”

Rather meta, isn’t it?

•Chapter 30

F***

“And so the house war starts, Vin thought. Didn’t think I’d be the one to officially begin it.”

Indeed.

Maybe Vin is the Gawyn in this situation. Hahaha

It is pretty badass that she was able to defeat another Mistborn on her own, but I can imagine this will come back to bite her.

•”You’re no skaa—you’re just noblemen without titles.”

Dang, she told him. That whole speech was astounding.

“He stood, dumbfounded, feeling a surprising flush of ashamed guilt. And, for once, found himself without anything to say.”

•chapter 32

“Marsh said he’d leave a light burning if the other obligators were gone.”

I don’t like it. Ever since Marsh got the face tattoos I’ve had a bad feeling about him. I think he’s going to turn on Kell.

Oh...Or the Inquisitors will turn on Marsh. I wasn’t expecting that. Never mind. Though, who knows what information they got out of him before they killed him.

Then again, how do we know for certain that is Marsh’s body? It could be a ploy to make them think Marsh is dead. It could be anyone and they would never know. They couldn’t exactly get a DNA test done, and his skin has been ripped off, so a positive ID is difficult.

•Chapter 34 [LOTR, WOT, and Harry Potter spoilers—don’t want to assume everyone has read those]

So Kell is the Gandalf/Moiraine of this story. One difference is he left behind a body, unlike those other two, so not sure if there will be any coming back for him. I suppose Dumbledore didn’t come back (at least physically), so it wouldn’t be the first time.

•Chapter 36

In which Vin gets herself captured. Of course. In WOT it seemed like in just about every book someone was getting captured. It was one of my least favorite tropes of the series. Sometimes it was handled in an interesting way, but other times it was just annoying. I hope Vin is able to escape on her own rather than have to be rescued, and I hope this doesn’t become a recurring theme in this series.

I made the mistake of looking at someone’s cosplay photo in the Mistborn sub-reddit, and it was an alternate reality version of Vin where she had been made into a Steel Inquisitor. When the Inquisitor was holding something, hit Vin, and it faded to black, I was terrified she was going to wake up with spikes through her eyes. I guess I won’t be clicking on anything else in that sub for the time being. It’s funny, for the most part I avoided reading anything online about WOT while I was reading that series, but for some reason I’m being more daring with this one. Of course, I didn’t have a reddit account at the time, so this is all new to me.

Vin meets her father. Such a joyous family reunion. Aw, that didn’t last long. That wasn’t the confrontation I was expecting; more like a confrontation between him and the Inquisitors. There’s still time for a confrontation between Vin and Reen, I suppose.

The Lord Ruler orders her execution, but the Inquisitor convinces him to let them use her for a while longer. There’s no way possible that plan will backfire and allow her to escape or be rescued.

[The next paragraph contains spoilers for Wheel of Time book #2 The Great Hunt]

As much as I would prefer Vin to escape, I have a feeling Elend is going to be the one to rescue her. Then again, [WOT spoilers] Rand didn’t rescue Egwene from the Seanchan, it was Nynaeve, Elayne, and Min, something that set that scene apart from the typical damsel in distress sequence. That said, I wish there were more major female characters in this book. A Nynaeve, Elayne, and/or* Aviendha to Vin’s Egwene/Min. So who else is there besides Elend? Maybe one of the other Mistings, I suppose, but it seems like they might be busy with the rebellion at the moment. Sazed already rescued her once, so I don’t see that happening again so soon.

(*and/or...Andor haha WOT jokes, I crack myself up. Sorry, I’ll see myself out.)

•I’ve seen complaints about BS’s humor, but I’ve laughed at few things in this book, so maybe his sense of humor is similar to my own.

•Chapter 37

“Valette...she went into the palace a few hours back. I’m sorry lad. She’s probably in the Lord Ruler’s dungeons right now—assuming she’s even still alive.”

I can see my suspicions about where this is going coming true already. Elend to the rescue! Oh well, at least she rescued him once already, even though he wasn’t aware of it.

Reen is dead, unless the Inquisitor is lying. So much for my predicted confrontation. I did say I was probably wrong. He died protecting her. Some part of him must have cared about her.

For a minute there I thought Sazed was going to need to be rescued as well, but looks like he might be the rescuer after all. And now Vin gets to protect Sazed. Out of the available outcomes, this was probably the most satisfying. And here comes Elend. So he has his part to play. But Vin gets to save them all, so once again, best possible outcome.

•Chapter 38

“The Inquisitors would no longer bow before the dictates of inferior men.”

I wonder if the Inquisitors are the Terrismen the Lord Ruler was in contact with during his journey to the Eye of the World Well of Ascension. Some of them seemed to think they were superior to other men.

“A command of Allomancy...”

I guess not, since Terrismen don’t use Allomancy.

•Turns out that wasn’t Marsh’s body. Marsh the Inquisitor. Rather disturbing. At least he’s still on the side of the good guys.

•Ba’alzamon the Lord Ruler is defeated, but the Dark One Deepness is still left to threaten the world. For all this snark comparing it to WOT, this ending was satisfying.

•The Lord Ruler turned out to not be the person who wrote the journal, but one of the Terrismen. I still wonder if he was possessed by the Deepness? The Lord Ruler used both Allomancy and Feruchemy, so maybe it is possible at least some of the Inquisitors were Terrismen. I guess that remains to be seen.

•Vin came to the same realization about Reen that I did. That’s sweet.

•Earlier I compared Vin to Egwene and Min, but obviously there is an aspect of her that is like Rand as well, seeing as how she is the main character, and she is the one who defeats the Lord Ruler.

This has been fun, at least for me. On to the next book.

#mistborn liveblog #elend #kelsier #vin #cosmere #fantasy #the final empire #mistborn #brandon sanderson

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sigmalied · 6 years ago

Text

Sig’s Anthem Review

Verdict

BioWare’s Anthem is a genuinely fun and engaging experience that sabotages itself with myriad design, balance, and technical oversights and issues. It is a delicious cake that has been prematurely removed from the developmental oven - full of potential but unfit for general consumption in this wobbly state. Anthem is not a messianic addition to the limited pantheon of looter shooters because it has somehow failed to learn from the well-publicized mistakes of its predecessors.

Am I having fun playing Anthem? Absolutely. Does it deserve the industry’s lukewarm scores? Absolutely. But this is something of a special case. The live service model giveth and taketh away; we receive flexibility in exchange for certainty. Is Anthem going to be the same game six months from now? Its core DNA will always be the same, but we’ve already begun to see swift improvements that bode well for the future.

Will my opinion matter to you? It depends. When I first got into looter shooters I was shocked at how much the genre clicked with me. They are a wonderful playground for theory crafters, min/maxers, and mathletes like myself who find incomparable joy in optimizing builds both conventional and experimental by pushing the limits of obtainable resources ad infinitum. The end game grind is long and at times challenging as you make the jump to Grandmaster 1+ difficulty in search of top-tier loot to perfect your build. This is what looter shooters are all about.

If you don’t like the sound of that, you’ll probably drop Anthem right after finishing its campaign. But if you do like the sound of that, you might find yourself playing this game for years.

TL;DR: This game is serious fun, but is also in need of some serious Game & UI Design 101.

I wrote a lot more about individual aspects of the game beneath the read more, if you’re interested. I’ve decided not to give the game a score, I’m just here to discuss it after playing through the campaign and spending a few days grinding elder game activities. There are no spoilers here.

Gameplay

The Javelins are delightful. I’ve played all four of them extensively and despite identifying as a Colossus main I cannot definitively attach myself to one class of Javelin because they’re all so uniquely fun to play and master. Best of all, they’re miraculously balanced. I’ve been able to hold my own with every Javelin in Grandmaster 1+. Of course, some Javelins are harder to get the hang of than others. Storms don’t face the steep learning curve Interceptors do, but placed in the hands of someone who knows what they’re doing, both are equally as destructive on the battlefield.

I love the combo system. It is viscerally satisfying to trigger a combo, hearing that sound effect ring, and seeing your enemy’s health bar melt. Gunplay finally gets fun and interesting when you start obtaining Masterworks, and from there, it’s like playing a whole new game.

Mission objectives are fairly bland and repetitive, but the gameplay is so fun I don’t even mind. Collect this, find that, go here, whatever. I get to fly around and blow up enemies while doing it, and that’s what matters. Objectives could be better, certainly. Interesting objectives are vital in game design because they disguise the core repetitive gameplay loop as something fresh, but the loop on its own stays fresh long enough to break even, I feel.

The best part is build flexibility. Want to be a sniper build cutting boss health bars in half with one shot? I’ve seen it. Want to be a near-immortal Colossus wrecking ball who heals every time you mow down an enemy? You can. There are so many possibilities here. Every day I come across a new crazy idea someone’s come up with. This is an excellent game for build crafters.

But... why in the world are there so few cosmetic choices? A single armor set for each Javelin outside the Vanity store? A core component of looter shooters has always been endgame fashion, and on this front, BioWare barely delivers and only evades the worst criticism by providing quality Javelin customization in the way of coloring, materials, and keeping power level and aesthetics divorced. We’re being drip-fed through the Vanity store, and while I like the Vanity store’s model, there should have been more things permanently available for purchase through the Forge. Everyone looks the same out there! Where’s the variety?

Story, Characters, World

Anyone expecting a looter shooter like Anthem to feature a Mass Effect or Dragon Age -sized epic is out of their mind, but that doesn’t mean we have to judge the storytelling in a vacuum. This is BioWare after all. Even a campaign that flows more like a short story - as is the case with Anthem - should aspire to the quality of previous games from the studio. Unfortunately, it does not, but it comes close by merit of narrative ambience: the characters, the world’s lore, and their execution.

(For a long time I’ve had a theory that world building is what made the original Mass Effect great, not its critical storyline, which was basically a Star Trek movie at best. Fans fell in love because there were interesting people to talk to, complicated politics to grasp, and moral decisions to make along the way.)

While the main storyline of Anthem is lackluster and makes one roll their eyes at certain moments or bad lines, the world is immediately intriguing. Within Fort Tarsis, sophisticated technology is readily available while society simultaneously feels antiquated, echoing a temporal purgatory consistent with the Anthem’s ability to alter space-time. Outside the fort, massive pieces of ancient machinery are embedded within dense jungles in a way that suggests the mechanical predates nature itself. The theme of sound is everywhere. Silencing relics, cyphers hearing the Anthem, delivering echoes to giant subwoofers… It’s a fun world, it really is.

As for the characters… they might be some of the best from BioWare. They feel like real people. Rarely are they caricatures of one defining trait, but people with complex motives and emotions. Some conversations were boring, but the vast majority of the time I found myself racing off to talk to NPCs as soon as I saw yellow speech bubbles on the map after a mission. And don’t even get me started on the performances. They are golden.

The biggest issue with the story is that it’s not well integrated with missions. At times it feels like you’re playing two separate games: Fort Tarsis Walking/Talking Simulator and Anthem Looter Shooter. And the sole threads keeping these halves stitched together during missions - radio chatter - takes a back seat if you’re playing with randoms who rush ahead and cause dialogue to skip, or with friends who won’t shut the hell up so you can listen or read subtitles without distraction. I found it ironic that I soloed most of the critical story missions in a game that heavily encourages team play.

Technical Aspects: UI & Design

This is where Anthem has some major problems. God, this category alone is probably what gained the ire of most reviewers. The UI is terrible and confusing. There are extra menu tabs where they aren’t needed. The placement of Settings is for some inane reason not located under the Options button (PS4). Excuse me? It’s so difficult to navigate and find what you’re looking for. It’s ridiculously unintuitive.

Weapon inscriptions (stat bonuses) are vague and I’ve even seen double negatives once or twice. They come off as though no one bothered to proofread or edit anything for clarity. Just a bad job here all around. And to make matters worse, there is no character stat sheet to help us demystify any of the bizarre stat descriptions. We are currently using goddamn spreadsheets like animals. Just awful.

The list goes on. No waypoints in Freeplay. Countless crashes, rubber banding, audio cutouts, player characters being invisible in vital cutscenes, tethering warnings completely obscuring the flight overheat meter… Fucking yikes. Wading through this swamp of bugs and poor design has been grueling to say the least.

And now for the loot issues. Dead inscriptions on gear; and by dead I mean dead, as in “this pistol does +25% shotgun damage” dead (this has been recently patched but I still cannot believe this sort of thing made it to release). The entire concept of the Luck stat (chance to drop higher quality loot) resulting in Luck builds who drop like flies in combat and become a burden for the rest of the team. Diminishing returns in Grandmaster 2 and 3; it takes so long to clear missions on these difficulties without significant loot improvement, making GM2 and GM3 pointless when you could be grinding GM1 missions twice as fast.

At level 30, any loot quality below Epic is literal trash. Delete Commons, Uncommons, and most Rares as soon as you get them because they’re virtually useless. I have hundreds of Common and Uncommon embers and nothing to do with them. Why can’t we convert 5 embers into 1 of the next higher tier? Other looters have already done things like this to make progression omnipresent. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here, BioWare. It’s already been done for you.

When you get a good roll on loot, the satisfaction is immense. But when you don’t, and you won’t 95% of the time, you’ll feel like you’ve wasted hours with nothing to show for it. We shouldn’t be spending so much time hunting for useful things, we should be trying to perfect what’s already useful.

It’s just baffling to think that Anthem had the luxury of watching the messy release of several other looter shooters during Anthem’s development, yet proceed to make the same mistakes, and some even worse.

Nothing needs to be said about visuals. They are stunning, even from my perspective on a base PS4.

Sound design is the only other redeeming subcategory here. Sound design is amazing, like the OST. Traditional instrumentals meet alien synth seamlessly. Sarah Schachner is a seriously talented composer.

I’m just relieved to see the development team hauling ass to make adjustments. They’ve really been on top of it - the speed and transparency of fixes has been top-notch. They’re even working on free DLC already! A new region, more performances from the actors... I’m excited and hopeful for the future.

#siganthem

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thewritingstar · 6 years ago

Note

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE.

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go.

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others.

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

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kronos-the-timelord · 6 years ago

Note

!!!!!! all the weird asks !!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhh, you so nice

Where do you stand on lotion: yay or nay? Why? - i like it!! it smells nice and makes my skin soft!!! also i work at bath and body works,, i own 50 thousand bottles of lotion

What’s the average length of a shower for you? A bath? - 30 minutes for shower bc it warm, i don’t take baths too often but when i do its for relaxation so like 45 min-an hour

What’s something you regret buying, but you just can’t get rid of it? - i have a pair of shoes i really like, but they’re a little too small for my feet ;-;

What villain do you believe is most worthy of a redemption arc? - mmmm,, i kinda wanna see rappa get one,, but like one where he’s begrudgingly going along with it

What was your favorite school project you ever made? - in highschool it was a chapter that i had to teach to my ap us history and i got to talk about the spanish influenza!! i really like talking about it,,,, and just recently i did a workshop in creative writing and i turned in some poetry!! it was fun

What role do you take on when you have to do a group project? (for example: leader, delegator, slacker, etc.) - leader who ends up doing a lot if not the entire project

What’s a funny mistake you’ve made recently?

What would be your reaction if one of your parents said they were having another kid? - why????

What were you almost named as a baby? - my mom always wanted to name me margaret, but my dad wanted to name me morgan, elizabeth (quickly got vetoed by mom bc how my grandma said it) or (as a joke) name me something where my initials would be xyz

What book have you been avoiding reading and why? - not really avoiding, but the last book in the magnus chase series by rick riordan

Favorite head phone brand? - skull candy

Favorite scent? - lavender and jasimine

Favorite idiom? - once in a blue moon

How many friends do you have that don’t live in the same country as you? - uhhhh,, none unless you count my boyfriend,, he’s currently in england for college, but he’ll be back over the summer

What is always in your wallet that doesn’t need to be? - my library card i guess??

How big is too big for a wallet? - i have a wallet the can hold money with out needing to fold it (its like a small clutch) and that’s the one i use everyday and that’s how big the biggest wallet should be in my opinion

What class did you write the best notes in? What grade did you get? - all my note are kinda weird, but i wrote notes for my econ class that were p good and i think i either got a b or an a in that class

What was your pet peeve when you had a substitute teacher in school? - i hated it when they would sit and talk all class and then get angry when no one listened to them

What is a strange red flag you have when pursuing a relationship? - how they treat waiters/waitresses

What do you look for in someone’s online dating profile? - i’ve looked at someones online dating profile so idk

How many people have you thought “Glad I don’t have to interact with them ever again” about? - oh so many, i probably wouldn’t even be able to count them, all from high school and my current job (i work retail)

What do you NOT want on your tombstone? - i don’t want a tombstone : )

How many couches do you want in your residence? - 1 or 2

What is the strangest website you have bookmarked? - this one

What is your typical number of windows/tabs open on your computer? - 5-10???

How often do you restart your computer? Your phone? - my phone i turn off and let charge overnight, but my computer with have to restart itself, im not doing that

Do you follow the expiration date on food? - depends on the food, milk and meat yeah, but condiments like ketchup nah

What is the coolest name that you would never name a real human child? - scarlet

What fish scares you the most? - angler fish

How do you feel about snails? - they’re okay, i respect them

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kim-isnt-seaweed · 6 years ago

Text

Uuuu its been a long time since I had this type of headache and I definitely didn't miss that bitch. It's a strange type of headache, in fact, now that I think about it I haven't had any type of headache in a while, but these the headaches are by far the ones I hate the most. They're very painful throbs always on the left side of my head near my ear, they're short one second or so but I can have two or three consecutive throbs that again, are very painful and leave me feeling strange, I don't know how to explain it but before the pain I felt firm, but after my head feels softer(???) Oh and another thing I discovered is that apparently its not common to "hear" your heartbeat on inside your left ear.

I know I should probably go to the doctor to check this out it been like 2 years since I had the first one but ...my pride hurts, its always something with me, if not gallbladder stones its lumps on my breasts, and quite honestly it makes me feel like a burden because they all happen while living here which means T always had to go with me and I don't like feeling so dependent.

That took a dark turn I did not mean to take but I wrote it and I sorta kinda want to vent now. Anyway, how is everyone doing this last week of March? I've been doing very well actually, I've had a wonderful month this March,, to be honest, hectic and faster pace than what I care for but it has been good, the only downside is that T and I haven't had much time for each other, his schedule changes almost daily and mine as well, neither of us has the typical 9-5 five days a week work schedule, his schedule changes according to any issues or events that happen in the city, for example, he had today and tomorrow free but since the King of Belgium came (they have a king??? They call him king here) he had to work. Whereas my schedule depends on the children and their parents I originally started with only 3 classes a week but as of now I already have 6 classes and starting next week I have 11 classes a week, some days I have just one class, some days I have 3 classes, the classes only last 30 mins each so that's not the problem, its the fact that I don't drive so I have to run around the city from house to house carrying bags of toys and interactive material on Public transportation which is the most tiring. Also, my job isn't hard per se in teaching kids English through playing which is fun but keeping up with kids, some toddlers (my youngest student is 27months baby can't even speak Korean yet) or with kids that are well kinda naughty is exhausting.

Anyhow, the point was, this month has been good great new job, spending more time outside, being forced to expand my Korean, flowers blooming and warmer days, but I miss going on dates with T and spending time together where we're not at home watching tv saying how tired we are and how much we'd like to go on a date.

(I dressed as Elsa for an event at the center, it's actually really fun and I'm surprised is not as shy to perform silly songs to kids and their parents as I was when I was younger)

#living in korea #seoul #korea #living in seoul #south korea #living abroad #life in korea #married life #life in seoul #expat #life #day to day #korean #daily #daily life #work #normal life

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 2 years ago

Text

Misc: My profile theme, music, and my identity (+ about 1000 other things..)

Definitely wouldn't be offended if this an easy skip for most. It is.. a hot mess, long and not particularly interesting. If you ain't supremely bored, you probably'd be better off not being curious on this one T^T

But hey I did enjoy writing it and I'm sure someday I at the very least will enjoy reading this so for me that's enuff boxes checked off to post 🤷‍♀️

This is another long post ngl. I've been on and off (mostly on 😭) writing since I woke up at like 11 am and its now 11pm. I wrote a few diff things so this one aint 12 full hours of writing or anything but I will admit it has been a long ass time on this one. Sorry in advance. i always seem to write a lot a lot when shit gets bumpy with R. Not even between us necessarily and the junk I be writing about don't be about her at all half the time I just be overexplaining and randomly going from topic wayyyyy worse than normal for some reason. I genuinely do not know why I'm like this bruh I used to write a little whiny vent note here and there pre R but now if i don't have one strict topic I'm talking/explaining I will write about any and everything that comes to mind as I'm going.

Oh god.. Me bringing this up reminds me of when she first said we had to talk less and I went nuts. That shit was so ghetto I deadass got fucked up on dxm so I'd stop freaking out over her dipping then DURINGGG the high I realized I was in love. I think after prolly.. 4ish hours of being like uh.. yeah there's no reason for me to be that damn tore up over us simply not talking as often... or her going through a breakup...... literally figured it out at the worst possibly time. THEN I was worried I just felt that way cause of the high so I just started writing everything out figuring like it'd wear off at some point when I was writing so I could see how I talked about it all throughout.

...which led me to write for damn near 24 hours straight....

I literally didn't sleep, eat, or do literally anything else for at least a good 16ish hours then took a small break cause I had to put away groceries and i got a single thing of pita bread, ate that shit plain, then got back to it. Lord looking back on that is so weird. I don't know what possessed me bruh I think I took another break around the 24 hour mark, either ate or sat there thinking for prolly.. an hour? 30 mins? Then did ANOTHER 12 hours of babbling. I had been using that notes app for literal years with no issue. But ofc.. all that time of writing straight had it crash on me a few times with one time wiping hourssss of writing. I wasn't saving all too often not thinking nothing of it but that shit crashed and I lost like 36k chars worth of junk and that changed ASAP. Plus.. I learned the shit had an 100k limit... so that was fun.

See? Overexplaining and RAMBLING. Deadass went from writing a quick head's up on the length of this post to talking about my weird ass drug induced love note shit. Why am i like this. ;-;

Anyway. Past this point is past me. Sorry for getting carried away in the warning

I wrote about this in a previous post but essentially, some random got the wrong idea and thought I was using Juice as my pfp as some sort of mockery? joke? i dunno

shits totally understandable and I'm sure anyone would figure out that ain't my intention after looking at my page for about .2 seconds. i mean.. if I were using him as the butt of some sort of joke you'd figure I'd mention it or something lol. Maybe that's only obvious to me though..

Anyway, I may change it to something new. I usually change my pfps for stuff fairly frequently if I'm on it a lot. When me and R were on the phone 24/7 I used to change my disc pfp at least 2-3 times within a 2 week period 😭

I dunno though I mean.. on one hand I don't really want this page to have all too many of my interests on it as for one I'm trying to stay at least semi anonymous but also I feel like it'd kinda be odd.. The Juice profile pic is one thing, as I listen to him all the damn time and I relate to a lot of his work. But I dunno.. wouldn't it be weird if I suddenly just changed my profile picture to a character that I like just cause they're cool? Wouldn't my page be more memorable if I have like. MY pfp MY username MY bio. Sorry it's hard to explain..

Like.. youtubers. They usually have a pfp and they keep it as that same one and people remember and recognize them off it. Or a few other types of influencers honestly. I feel like it's one thing when it's a personal acc where you really don't need people to recognize you off your pfp or user cause they'd just know you but my acc is kinda a grey area. I know damn well I ain't an influencer but I ain't exactly someone you'd just remember.

Maybe I'll compromise and only use Juice pictures.. I dunno

Speaking of Juice, I feel like now that I've been getting worse and worse his music became so much more relatable. I can't tell you how many times I've cried with my earbuds blaring 27 club. I wish I could share it all. I've never been a huge stickler for lyrics but growing up and going from understanding the story of a song to relating and living though the situations described has hit me so hard. I'm sure it ain't exactly a unique experience but still. It'd be cool to share my music and be able to talk about how I use each playlist and what it makes me think/feel

I would just link my spotify and keep it moving but ya know. More puzzle pieces of my identity

I think if I ever permanently kick the habit I might reveal myself but thats honestly a strooong maybe. I dunno like it aint so much of being ashamed/embarrassed of my addiction. Although, I won't exactly go around telling any and everyone I'm addicted to fucking otc allergy meds. i think R is the only one that knows specifically that I take dph. Everyone else I either never mention getting high or if I have I've only talked about weed highs. It just feels embarrassing given it's horrible hallucinatory effects on most people. While I don't get those, how th would they know that you know? 9 times out of 10 they're gonna google that shit, see mfs talking about having ghost conversations and the gosh dang hatman, then gon look at me crazy for continuing to take it over and over again. So yeah definitely a big factor, but I am honestly more worried about some concerned stranger finding my social media and telling my family/friends about this page or about my problem. That is my worst fear.

For one, this page is basically a diary. I go into specifics on shit that I would never tell anyone. Not that I'm particularly tooo ashamed of the shit I say about my personal life but

-A lot of it is not meant to be shit that just anyone knows. It's one thing when I'm just writing to the abyss/random strangers that wouldn't know who I'm talking about but if my family/friends were able to access this I'd have to be so much more guarded and careful about what I say on here cause they could more than likely guess or already know who I'm talking about

-Some of it is shit that I never want to discuss. I don't think I went too in detail on family dynamics but I don't even wanna bother opening that can of worms I'd rather pretend with everyone else that there is no issue and just do me once I leave

-Plus a lot of it is hypercritical shit I shouldn't even be thinking, let alone talking about. Just imagine finding out that one of your friends was out here telling everybody and they grandma that your boyfriend fucking sucks and you are clearly being blinded by their love for them? Or talking about how you know they won't last? Just like.. okay for one, even if they were right, you're not going to see it that way. You're gonna be questioning why they were doubting your relationship first and foremost but then I mean.. who wants to hear that? They're probably gonna tell you less about it and it'll strain yalls relationship, if not end it right then and there. Then by the time you can see it for what it is, it's 3 years later and it'd be awkward to become friends again

It does suck though. It would be real cool to make friends with someone cause of all my word vomit filled posts. I would love to show everyone all the shit I like to do in my freetime and beg everyone them cat/dog/literally pet pictures. Plus like, I dunno ever since R's been in my life I've learned to love any and all types of friendship

I used to be so offended when I'd have friendships that I only can get so close with. I'm so used to putting my all into all friendships and making sure to do whatever I can for them as long as it ain't hella inconvenient cause I always assumed that because I do, they'd do the same. But after seeing friendship after friendship fading as soon as I wasn't doing all that I used to be so mad. I felt like an outcast. But I think going through that time where my bsf and I were constantly texting or otp it made me a lot less available as far as doing all that extra to maintain friendships. I would be so focused on her I would damn near forget about talking with anyone. But even once we had to distance from each other some, I was still used to how I treated my other friends

I tried to cling to my less close friends trying to create that 100% on both sides thing but it kinda got.. hard. Ofc, the inevitable mental comparisons were nonstop. Literally couldn't breathe without thinking oh but if me and R were doing this I'd be comfy doing this or oh my god this game is borin if R were here we would prolly be doing our own thing by now and just talk instead or bruh I am literally on hour 459 of bubbly me if R was here I could probably get away with listening to whatever was going on in the background that day 💀💀💀

After I started doing that and started understanding my feelings, I kinda saw that I didn't even really want that sort of comfort with anyone else cause I didn't want them to expect all that and put me in a position where if me and my bsf started to talk more I'd be putting them on the backburner out of nowhere. I didn't think it would be fair of me you know? i don't want them to feel abandoned and unless Im in a place where I feel comfortable to not have to be one specific way with you I would prefer being alone anyway.

But feeling that way now made me see that it didn't really have to be one or the other. I've seen that no one really minded when I responded a bit late cause I was busy with R. And I would run to her with all my emotion stuff so I wasn't all too bothered if they never inquired about mine. And thennnnn I randomly got this dm from this girl I talked to when I was still at my dorm and that's when I really learned the joy of that shit

Hm ig you wouldn't really need to know specifics on that for the point I was tryna make. Maybe I'll talk about her someday. But yeah it was just so nice like. Hey I don't need you to be savior mode, human notepad mode, or hehe haha everything funny mode 24/7. We aren't close and you and I both know that. We can just have our fun when we happen to remember each other's existence and come back 8 mo later like nothing ever happened

Don't get me wrong, I love R so much and I love that we go out the way to talk to each other every day no matter what. It makes me feel really good to know that even with us not being able to be as close with each other now she still makes sure we don't lose contact with each other. Things are really different now and ofc I still miss how it was before but knowing that we can both acknowledge that our friendship had to change but still caring enough for each other to put in the effort to evolve into something else rather than letting it all go because it aint the same is something that is so precious. I wouldn't trade that for the world. But at the same point I've grown to love casual friends sm.

It's nice to not always worry about how they're gonna think if i do xyz or I don't reach out every so and so many days. I don't always need to hide or do the absolute most to maintain the friendship we can just enjoy each others company for a bit then go back on our separate ways til we reach out again. No hard feelings if we ignore a text or answer late cause we genuinely have no idea what we do on the day to day. And the pressure of only being one specific way with them gets lesser and lesser the longer yall stay apart inbetween. I think the biiggest example of that is this one long term but shallow friendship with this one girl I met in 9th grade that one year I lived in arizona.

I used hate that since I just got there she had all these older friends that she would talk diff to and generally be more close with. I thought once I moved back to Michigan we'd stop talking after a year or two and we weren't all tooo close so I didn't think nothing of it. But then I think like.. prolly 8ish months after that we started talking talking then we stopped. Then prolly another 6 mo later we did it again. And we just kept on doing that again and again and again. It used annoy me cause it felt like she only would remember my existence to tell me about her breaking up with one dude and getting with another or house drama or all that junk. It didn't help that she joked about my life being dry allllll the damn time too so I felt like she only talked to me to judge me and tell me all this shit as if I was supposed to gawk at all of it cause I didn't do anything intresting in her opinion. It didn't help that I never really felt comfortable telling her about any fr fr struggles i was having cause of how I thought she perceived me

It all came to a head when she got mad at me for pointing out that cycle one of these days. I think she texted me soon soon after all that shit with R was going down so I was salty already offrip. She usually starts texting first talking about some bruhhh YOU NEVER TEXT MEEE which this time was a lie. When we got back cool cool a few months back we started to taper off again. This time tho I made sure to text more often during that thinking things would ramp back up if I put more effort into showing I didn't forget her. It didnt really help as she was being dry 95% of the time so I stopped after like a month. I said that and kinda passive aggressively said that we do this all the time lets just get to the catching up part. Which was true but at the same point, so rude. I was still under that impression that she was gonna judge me and I felt like I had so much to look down on so I just was overly defensive and hostile for no damn reason

We skipped talking that time around which was honestly fair. I thought we'd never talk again after that and I forgot it even happened ngl. But then like 2 mo later she reached out again and with my new perspective on friendships I really saw it for what it was. I mean sure, she can be kind of a dick sometimes and she is kinda a magnet for drama at times cause she is pretty impulsive at times which leads her to speak before she thinks on shit but like.. she never means any harm you know? And plus, she is so caring bruh. Literally would do whatever she needs to for her friends. I genuinely forgot this happened but when my old job fired me for not attending this mandatory meeting on my day off (a blessing in disguise tbh I was thinking about quitting anyway) she was SWIFTTT to do a fake review on they shit. I'm sitting there like bruh chill it aint even that deep and by the time I got that out she already wrote a damn review saying they had shitty customer service (which was actually true lmao), racist ass manager (lowkey true as well 💀💀💀) and they ice cream be tasting like CARBOARD (now that I couldn't even support they shit be good good T^T)

Getting close with R and slowing down to where we are now showed me there's alot more to friendship's than opening up about each and every secret you've ever had you know? I still consider R my best friend, even with us not talking as much, both us not being as open, or us not hanging out as much. That all sounds like we don't even like each other more damn wth. LOOKKKK. Sure, there are times where I'm jealous and salty about how things are. And ofc I'm still mad that I KNOW she will get butthurt if I watch aggretsuko with someone else even though I have literally been pestering her about that shit for HALF THE DAMN YEAR. And at times she's overly territorial over me and I be sliiightly tempted to do shit just to watch her show out and other times she'll say the dumbest shit about herself that makes me wish I could teleport to her with a rolled up newspaper in tow.. But like, at the end of the day she knows me better than anyone ever has and I know her in a lot of ways that people don't understand. We're super similar and relieving to know that you know? At the end of the day I know that no matter what she'll be there for me and she trusts me to do the same for her which hasn't changed, even with how shit is now, her effort trumps everything.

Which is something I've grown to appreciate a lot more in general. Ofc including on and off friends like the girl from AZ. It grew to make a lot of the small annoying habits of hers feel a lot diff. I noticed how we really never had an awkward easing back in stage.

Every time, without fail we start with

damn you DONT TEXT MEEE!! DO YOU NOT LIKE ME ???

>:U

*insert defense junk*

yeah yeah I dont wanna HEAR IT 🙄

Then boom we get to catching up. Plus 99% of the time she got a game she wanna play. We usually just go to that then continue on talking and junk for a few days. At max a week and a half. I'll send a message here and there and she be DRY so I stop and then we dip for another few months.

It's so weird to think about honestly. We've been friends for 5ish years now. I only have one other long term friend as my years of moving back and forth led most to forget I existed and I met him in 7th. I dunno to me her and him were completely different in my mind cause of the frequency and nature of our convos. But it's just like.. nowadays I tear up thinking about them sometimes. Sure they got they own pros and cons but at the end of the day, they're consistent. We've all changed a lot throughout the years and I know they've met soooo many people that'll probably not die off the face of the earth every two seconds and I'm sure they both have friends they're a lot closer with but they still bothered to keep in touch even when it woulda been hella easy to just move on

Bruh thinking about it now got me tearing up (...as you can see I've been drinking water today 🙃) They may not be the first people I think to go to when shit gets rough but they've made it clear that they care about me for more than what I can do for them and that is mooooore than enough for me. I hope I keep them around forever. I try to be a lot better on checking in on em nowadays. I'm not amazing with that shit still and I still'll go weeks without speaking but uh. We getting there T^T

Though AZ girl is the reason I say bruh so much.. I hate her for that TO THIS DAY. she used to say breh and bruh after every sentence and it would make the shit she be saying 20000x funnier. I tried to steal it for jokes too but then it just start slipping out and now I prolly say it more than she ever did ANDD she don't even say it like that no more 😭

...

I went on so hard of a tangent I literally forgot what I brought this shit up for.. I had to go back up and reread it's been like 6 hours since I said that junk 💀💀💀

SEE like talking with me is fun on one hand cause as long as we aint sitting there making small talk we gon go through about 70 billion topics within 5 mins but then on the other if you had something to say about a topic we already went past??

gl.

T_T

All that was all to say that I've grown to really appreciate distant but consistent friendship. To me, it at times shows a lot more care and appreciation than having someone listen to you rant about xyz. Cause I mean, it's kinda easy to not be a dick and listen but it takes effort to keep coming back no matter what we talked about.

Damn do you think I should give the girl from AZ a name?

Nah I kinda like that long ass name for her lmao

But look at her. I barely spoke to her for months and I basically swatted her away when she was just tryna catch up and look at us. Well. We in an off period rn..

OO actually she said she loved me the last time we were on the phone and I said it back thinking that she possibly was talking to someone else but just incase you know. BUT SHE GOT SO HAPPY BRUH OMGG

Shit was so sweet. I would say it more often if it didn't wear off the novelty so quick

But yeah like look at that. I've barely told her about any of my struggles and 5 years later we're still just as close. I can't even count how many people I've heard detailed and long rants from that just dipped from my life once they were doing better off and by the time they got back in that mindset they've already either forgot about me or think it'd be too awkward to get back in touch. Not to say it's easy to talk about that stuff, cause it aint. But venting to a complete random is not exactly risky either. I feel like it honestly has lost it's effect on me nowadays. I would rather have 400 distant and shallow friendships that last for years and years and years than the 400 deep and super relatable friends that just disappear once they find greener pastures.

I hope that someday I'll feel comfortable revealing my identity on here. I didn't mean to imply that any possible friendships from this are gonna be shallow by default ofc. More so was saying I'm a lot more open minded about a lot of different sorts of relationships you know? I wanna explore more types like.. as soon as humanly possible atp T-T

Anywho uh. I think that's enough vaguely pointed rambling for one post. Very sorry to future me reading this. I know you prolly gon wanna stomp me out for always leaving you so damn much to read..

me is withdrawing atp soooo I'm either gon try and sleep the shit off or get to solving that 💀

gn/gm depending on when youre reading this. I hope youre doing okay

#misc #excessively long

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tae-spacito · 6 years ago

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sope: a fairytale (pt. 1)

Word Count: 3393

J-Hope (Hoseok) x Suga (Yoongi)

Genre: Fluff; some crack ;)

Warnings: none! just crackhead bs, and kinda sorta fluff? idk

Summary: So you think you know the story of Cinderella? As children, we all must have read the fairytale, or even seen the Disney movie, I’m sure! But have you heard of the fairytale of how Sope came to be? No? Well kiddos, here we have Hoseok, whose father is always out travelling for business, so he’s living with his step-mother and step-brothers, Namjoon and Seokjin. Meanwhile, on the other hand, we have our very own Prince Charming: Min Yoongi! Now buckle up kids, we’re gonna go on a magical ride! Here is the story of how Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi lived happily ever after. ❤️

AN: YO WHADDUP TUMBLR!! It’s been a while since I updated with a story here... sorry!! :( I’ve been too busy with university and all, yea I know, excusessssss... besides, I’m now on break! So hopefully I can balance work with writing and y’all can get more frequent updates. Please enjoy this little weird thing I wrote up. It turned out to be way too long so I gotta split it up into 2 parts! Also to those who just finished exams, congratulations! And to those who just graduated, congrats to you all as well! Anywaysss, enough blabbing on my part. Happy reading!! *sends love*

Hoseok quickly dashed into his room as soon as his step-brothers left the house. He threw open his closet doors and skimmed through his clothes, searching for the perfect outfit for the party.

“Shit, I can’t find anything to wear! I’m going to miss the biggest party of the year!” Hoseok whined.

Finding something close to suitable to wear in public, Hoseok ran into the bathroom and got ready. Upon coming out of his room, he searched for his favourite pair of shoes, which were nowhere to be seen.

“Argh, Namjoon did not just hide my Balenciaga’s…” Hoseok grunted. He ended up slipping on his worn-out loafers, fixed his orange-dyed hair and left the premises.

He had to make sure no one knew he got out of the house. Not even his step-brothers, Namjoon and Seokjin, or his step-mother. If they did, he’d be done for.

“And so, all eligible sons and daughters may attend the party hosted by Prince Yoongi, son and heir of the Kingdom. Please RSVP as soon as possible, since we need a few days to arrange for the guests.”

Hoseok’s stepmother closed the invitation and carefully placed it back into its thick and cream coloured envelope.

“Well my boys, looks like you two will be going to the party and having tons of fun, right?” Step-mother crooned.

“Hell, yeah mom! I’m gonna pick up some hot chicks and probably, hopefully, really get into something serious with one of ‘em.” Seokjin smirked. Namjoon elbowed him in the stomach.

“OW you idiot! What was that for?!”

Namjoon smiled sweetly and stepped forward, “Mom, I’ll make sure Seokjin doesn’t do anything stupid out there. We don’t want anyone spreading weird stuff about our family, right?”

Namjoon, Seokjin and the step-mother were busy planning about the party, meanwhile Hoseok was in the kitchen washing the huge load of dishes. He sighed and wistfully thought about Prince Yoongi’s party at Club Monaco, which was one of the most prestigious nightclubs in the city. Gathering courage, Hoseok entered the living room and asked Step-mother if he could go to the party as well.

“Huh? Hoseok, you want to go to the party?” Step-mother scoffed, “why, you don’t even have anything to wear!”

“Yeah mom, I know that, I was thinking of using my allowance money to go to the nearest store and buying some—”

“Oh, are you gonna match your outfit with your ugly neon green Balenciaga’s?” Namjoon snickered.

Hoseok gasped, “They’re not ugly! You guys just don’t know how to appreciate true fashion!”

Seokjin cackled, “Yeah f’ing right. You? Fashionable? What kind of delulu shit are you getting yourself into?”

“Boys, that’ll be enough!” Step-mother raised her voice. “Hoseok, if you want to go with your brothers, you’ll have to make sure the entire house is clean, and all your chores are completed!”

“Not to forget, find some other shoes to wear.” Seokjin muttered. Namjoon snickered upon hearing him.

Hoseok felt that he had a chance to prove to his step-mother that he can and will succeed in whatever he puts his mind onto. He had to go to the party, and no one would stop him otherwise.

Turns out, he wasn’t able to finish his chores, as Step-mother kept assigning him more things to do. On top of that, he had so much homework to catch up on but whilst in the middle of all this, he didn’t even touch his school bag. His step-mother had gone out to a friend’s place for a get-together, while Namjoon and Seokjin were on their way to Club Monaco in a luxurious limousine, where they would have the time of their lives.

Hoseok carefully placed pillows on his bed and covered them to make it look like he was sleeping before he left. If his step-mother came home and noticed the bed was empty, he’d be screwed. He left his house and locked the door and searched for a taxi to take him to the party.

It was 9 pm, the party is probably just getting started, Hoseok mused. He searched everywhere on the streets for a taxi, but none were in sight. Having wasted over 30 minutes on his street, Hoseok gave up and decided to walk towards the venue.

Passing by alleyways, Hoseok noticed people hiding around in them doing who knows what. Probably super sketchy stuff. Nonetheless, that meant he needed to get out of the area as soon as possible before he landed himself into trouble. A pungent smell wafted in the air, smelling like a mixture of a skunk’s spray and rotten eggs. The scent became more prominent as if he were coming close to it, or the smell was coming close to him.

Goosebumps rose along Hoseok’s arms and across the back of his neck. Feeling as though he was being watched or followed. He heard footsteps clapping loudly against the stone-cold pavement and heavy breathing behind him. He tries to look behind him without being too obvious and noticed two shadows on the ground. Not knowing what to do, he sped up and ran further away from the men that were following him.

Hoseok kept running, without paying attention to where he was going. His foot stumbled upon a rock and he tripped and fell onto the sidewalk.

“Oof!”

“Hey, kid! Watch where you’re going! What’re you doing here anyway?” One of the men grunted.

The two mysterious people stepped closer as they towered over Hoseok, shifting backwards as he was whimpering in fear. Before anyone could take action, Hoseok felt a harsh grip on his arm as it pulled him up and dragged him through one of the shops that were closed for the night.

It can definitely be said that Hoseok was screaming his ass off. Not to mention, clawing his sudden attacker on his neck.

“OW! Hoseok, shut up!” A deep voice exclaimed.

“WhoareyouandwhydidyoudragmeinhereIwilltellyourightnowthatmydadisacopand—“ Hoseok rambled loudly in fear until the lights flickered on and he noticed that he was in fact, safe and sound, and within safe perimeters.

He slowly glanced in front of him and saw his best friend Taehyung sitting in front of him wearing-

“What the fuck Tae! Also, what the hell are you wearing?!”

“OH GEE! I saved you from those weirdos out there, and you attack me, scream in my ear, attack my Gucci apparel, and I don’t even get a freaking thank you?!” Taehyung wailed.

Hoseok sighed deeply as he got up, rubbing his arms and walked towards Taehyung.

“Ok, thank you for saving my life and not letting me wither away out there in the cold and in the presence of those big guys. Also, what’s with the outfit? Trying out to be Gucci’s next top brand ambassador?”

Taehyung took off his oversized sunglasses and cocked an eyebrow. He was wearing an oversized white collared shirt, tucked into khaki coloured pants that flared out. He wore leather slippers, obviously Gucci, and a thick red, green and black striped belt, also Gucci. To top it all off, he had on a purple velvet cloak and a loosened red Gucci tie around his neck.

“Bro please, I was trying to make a fashion statement since I thought I was gonna be alone tonight at the shop. Guess I had some rescuing to do.” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Besides, didn’t you say you were going to that party hosted by Prince Whoongi?”

“It’s Yoongi, you prick.” Hoseok rolled his eyes.

“Whatevs. Hey, what the heck are you wearing? You call that party wear?” Taehyung asked.

Hoseok flushed, “Y-yeah I was trying to find a good outfit for tonight but… but Mother wouldn’t let me…” He looked down, fumbling around with the hem of his shirt.

“Well Hobi, fear not!!” Taehyung exclaimed, “Wanna know why? ‘Cuz your fairy godmother, Vantae Kim is here to save the day! I mean, night!” He immediately rushed to the back of the room and began to frantically search through hangers.

With mock disgust, Hoseok took a step back, “Bro isn’t that some photographer guy? Did you actually just try to merge your name with his?” He snickered.

“Shut up, you need me the most at this time. Don’t you want to catch Yoongi’s attention there?” Taehyung winked, throwing finger guns at Hoseok.

“Oh, come on man, a prince? Noticing me? Have you been watching too many dramas these days?” Hoseok laughed.

“I may have watched too many dramas, but at least I know what needs to be done in terms of attracting someone into your pants.” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows, smiling suggestively. He walked over to Hoseok carrying a ton of clothes and dumped them into his hands.

“Try this stuff on, I’ll help you arrange your look afterwards. Go, go, go!” He shoved Hoseok towards the dressing room.

Hoseok tried to speak but Taehyung shut the dressing room’s door on his face before he could even say a word.

“Wha—"

Taehyung called out behind the door, “I’ll be here picking out some accessories for you ok? Shout if you need me!”

“OK!” Hoseok called out in response, “Now where do we start…” he murmured, looking at the pile of clothes Taehyung picked out for him.

20 minutes later

Hoseok shifted uneasily as he put his hand on the doorknob. Deeply inhaling, he opened the door and walked outside of the dressing room.

“Ahh, there you are! I was wondering what took you so—” Taehyung turned around and stopped as he took in the view of Hoseok standing right in front of him.

“Oh, daaaamn! Hobi, my man, you look dashing as hell!”

Hoseok wore a crème coloured collar silk shirt with a bow adorning the neckline, slightly uneven, paired with a floral blazer on top, and black jeans. The sleeves of the silk shirt were protruding from the sleeves of the blazer, giving his outfit a classy touch. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he tried to avert his eyes from Taehyung, embarrassed by his reaction.

“D-do I look ok?” Hoseok stammered.

“Bro, I think you’re gonna snatch everyone’s hearts once you step into the party. Seriously.” Taehyung smiled his boxy grin, “hol’ up, lemme fix your shirt for you.”

Taehyung tucked in Hoseok’s silk shirt into his jeans and fixed the bow to make it even.

“There, much better!” Taehyung patted Hoseok’s shoulder, “now let’s fix your hair, and then find you some good shoes.” Unbeknownst to Hoseok, his best friend secretly smirked when he turned Hoseok around towards the stairs.

Hoseok was dragged upstairs to Taehyung’s “lair” where he spent 90% of his time designing new clothes and outfits. Not to mention experimenting on his workroom walls with paint. This lair was actually his apartment, which he personally got constructed so he could be close to his business. Hoseok sat down on the king-sized mattress, glancing at Taehyung in confusion as he dug through his personal closet. A few minutes later, Taehyung brings out a small rectangular shaped cardboard box, which seemed to carry a pair of shoes. He sets the box aside as he motions to Hoseok to get up and sit down in front of the vanity.

“This box is for later, let’s not worry about it. First, I gotta focus on making you look presentable.” Taehyung smirked.

Taking out a comb, blow dryer and some unrecognizable hair products, Taehyung began to work away. Not knowing where to look, Hoseok just sat there with his eyes closed. Seeing that, Taehyung chuckled quietly to himself, knowing that once he opens his eyes, he’ll be shocked. A few minutes later, Taehyung steps back to admire the hairstyle he created.

“Yo Hobi, wanna do me a favour and open your eyes so I can get some amazing feedback on the work I did?” Taehyung teased.

Hoseok slowly opened an eye as he looked at the person sitting across from him. His reflection. Having his hair blow-dried as it was styled to perfection. His hair was parted from the right, exposing some of that glorious forehead that Hoseok always covered up with his orange-dyed locks. Taehyung applied some hairspray to ensure that his hair doesn’t become unruly.

“Tae… is… is that me?” Hoseok pointed to his reflection with widened eyes.

“YES!! It is you! Do you like it?!” Taehyung squealed as he drummed his fingers along the desk he was leaning upon.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve seen you work wonders on others when you style them for their shoots but this? This is incredible. I-I don’t know how to thank you??” Hoseok grinned.

Taehyung hit Hoseok’s shoulder as he feigned annoyance, “Listen, did I not tell you I’d be your fairy godmother for tonight? I don’t need anything in return! I just need you to do me one favour though”

“Which is?”

“Go and have the time of your life!!” Taehyung yelled enthusiastically, “Oh, let me take a few pictures of you! You’ll charm everyone’s pants off!!” He grabbed his camera and snapped a few pics, earning a chuckle from Hoseok as he weirdly posed for the camera.

“Oh right! Before we forget…” Taehyung remembered the box he took out of his closet. He walked across his room and fetched the shoe box, and placed it in Hoseok’s hands, “Open it!!!” Taehyung gleefully smiled.

Hoseok looked at him in confusion, shook his head and slowly opened the box. He peered into the box, then suddenly his eyes widen in surprise.

“TAE, ARE THESE THE NEWEST BALENCIAGAS?!” Hoseok yelled. He stroked the smooth leather of the loafers.

“Surpriiiseidiot! I had these shipped in for you so I could give it to you for your birthday next year before these even entered the market. Consider this entire thing my birthday treat for you. You owe me big time, dude.” Taehyung grinned.

“Yo, I’ll make it up to you, big time. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!”Hoseok jumped around.

“No need, my man! I was just joking! There’s no need to owe me back anything at all! Put them on, I’ll go call a taxi to take you there.” Taehyung smiled warmly, patting Hoseok’s shoulder.

Taehyung called a taxi to take Hoseok to Club Monaco, and Hoseok sat down to wear his shoes. The two went downstairs to the entrance of the stores, excitedly conversing about the party. Once the taxi arrived, he hugged Hoseok tightly.

“Also, another thing I must mention to you, as your fairy godmother,” Taehyung put on a serious tone, “this isn’t real life Cinderella, where you need to get back home before midnight, where your carriage turns into a pumpkin, and horses into mice. Go have fun and get some action for once!” He ended off with a cheeky grin.

Hoseok laughed, getting into the taxi, “Okay, bro! I’ll update you on everything! Not, every, every single thing, but anyways, I really wish you could come with me!”

Taehyung shook his head, “Nah dude, I got tons of designing to do for my upcoming clothesline. But definitely next time, we’ll go together!”

Hoseok pouted, “Argh, alright. Good luck! Let me know how things go!”

Taehyung winked, “I think I should be saying that to you, shouldn’t I? Lemme know if you got into someone’s pants by the end of the night!”

“Shut up, Tae! I’m not giving you any details!” Hoseok cringed.

“Uhh, if you guys are done, can we go now?” The driver hesitantly asked, face beet red.

Hoseok and Taehyung turned to look at the driver, and Hoseok choked out a ‘yes’ while his face, in turn, was becoming red. The driver probably thought they were both nuts. In fact, everyone in town thought the two were nuts. Ever since Taehyung made Hoseok run through the town butt-naked, and in turn forced Taehyung to climb the local seamstress’s roof and yodel at the ass crack of dawn. Ahh, just best friend things!

Hoseok shut the door and waved goodbye to his best friend, as the taxi driver drove off into the night.

Approximately 15 minutes later, they drove through a luxurious neighbourhood with lots of expensive cars, flashy outdoor home apparel and huge fountains decorating most of the entrances of the mansions they pass by. Hoseok gaped at the view with his mouth in a slight o-shape. He didn’t realize when the car stopped until the driver told him they arrived.

“It’ll be $15.75 please.” The driver hummed.

Hoseok took out his wallet and saw that he was short of 75 cents, but since the taxi driver seemed to be in a good mood, he accepted the $15 from him and drove off. He turns around and observes his surroundings. There right in front of him was the most prestigious club of all time, Club Monaco.

The club was surrounded by palm trees and soft hues of blue and green rays shone up from the lights embedded on the sidewalk. Hoseok could hear a soft bass thumping noise coming from the entrance, not too loud to deafen his ears though. As he approached the red carpet, he enters a line-up of people that were trying to get in. Still not familiar with the atmosphere, Hoseok kept glancing around and absorbing each and every little thing he could notice. From faint splashing noises, indicating an outdoor pool of some sort, to the people’s outfits, Hoseok took note of everything. He just tried not to show himself as a newbie amongst all the elite people he was surrounded by.

“Heard the bouncer is being quite selective about who enters and who doesn’t…” He overhears a girl talking to her friends. Suddenly getting nervous, Hoseok turns around and asks,

“What do you mean being selective about who goes in? Doesn’t everyone get access to the club?”

The girl shook her head, her long brown locks moving around with every movement, “Not tonight I’m afraid, it’s the Prince’s party, they must have some sort of agenda they’d be following.”

Hoseok sighed, “Well, maybe I should get going. This isn’t a place for some commoner like me.”

“Commoner? Boy, are you out of your mind? You look freakin’ gorgeous! I’m betting they’ll totally let you in!” The brunette replied with a grin, “Am I right ladies?”

One girl gave him a once over and winked, while the other friend smirked and nodded. “You’ll be fine! Say, this your first time at Club Monaco?” The brunette asked, “My name’s Natalie, by the way!”

“Nice to meet you, Natalie!” Hoseok smiled cheekily, “I’m Hoseok, and yes, it’s my first time here. Kinda nervous, but really excited to see what this place has in store tonight!”

Natalie scooted closer, “Hoseok, huh? Let me tell you one thing, don’t miss the chance to check out the outdoor pool they got here! You’ll love it!” She grinned.

The line-up near the entrance quickly started to move, and Hoseok, Natalie and her two friends were at the door. The bouncer looked at Hoseok, giving him a once over and gave a nod, sending the approval for entering. He looks at the three girls and scrunched his nose. Before the bouncer said anything, Hoseok interrupted him.

“The girls are with me.” He smiled suavely, showing off his pearly whites. The man raised his eyebrows and smiled, “Ok, go on in. Have fun ladies!”

Natalie and her friends cheered as she gave Hoseok a hug, “Thanks, love! I believe you saved our girl’s night out!”

Hoseok raised his hand for a high five and Natalie reciprocated, “I believe you three have to go and enjoy your night now, I won’t be holding you back any longer!”

Natalie gushed, “But first, let’s exchange numbers! Let’s not let this be the first and last meeting we have!”

Hoseok, Natalie and her two friends, named Laura and Jasmine, all exchanged numbers and went their own respective ways. Not knowing where to go first, Hoseok opened the first door he saw in his line of sight and entered the room. Muted music suddenly blared into his ears as he cracked the door open. Hoseok’s mind, body and soul were all ready to be engulfed by the music as he got ready to spend one of his best nights at Club Monaco, not realizing how truly amazing of an experience it would be for him.

A/N: end of part one! i apologize if there are any spelling or grammatical errors in here hahaha i will be coming in with part 2 soon! as always, if you have any questions, feedback, or even requests, feel free to send me an ask! take care fellow readers, happy summer! :)

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shcjfrance · 7 years ago

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THE SHINHWA STORY: 20 YEARS YOUNG & STILL GOING STRONG

by Lavanya Singh

If you think about how long Shinhwa has been around, you don’t need to look past their 14th anniversary press conference, where member Jun Jin put things into perspective for everyone: “The members of Girls’ Generation were in elementary school when we were in SM Entertainment. Jessica and Hyoyeon wrote us letters back in the day.”

That was six years ago.

On March 24th, Shinhwa celebrated their 20th anniversary. Rightly, the band is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest-running boy group in the world that hasn’t disbanded or had a member leave in 19—well, 20 now—years. A closer look at the band and its popularity, however, pegs Shinhwa as artists who transcend numbers and charts, and who have found permanence in an otherwise transient industry.

THE START

The six members of Shinhwa debuted on March 24, 1998 under SM Entertainment, performing the single “Resolver” on KM Music Tank. To say that the band had a rocky start would have been an understatement—accusations of being a copy of label-mates H.O.T and the controversy following the Sokcho water accident that overshadowed the promotions of their song “Eusha Eusha” soon sparked rumours of disbandment. With the exception of some songs, the group’s debut album did not chart well, leading people to speculate that the band may have been a bad investment for SM.

With their second album “T.O.P,” however, came an edgier concept and mainstream success. “T.O.P.” won Shinhwa their first major music award for “Best Music Video”, and the trajectory only went upwards after that.

A LONG LINE OF FIRSTS

As both fans and writers, we know how much modern K-pop owes to the so-called first wave of Korean music. Not only was the era a fantastic prelude to the all-encompassing force of nature that K-pop would eventually become, but the artists who defined that wave also left behind a legacy that would inspire and drive the future generations. Seo Taiji and the Boys, for example, gave Korea quite possibly its first tryst with R&B, and member Yang Hyun Suk later established one of South Korea’s premier entertainment companies, YG Entertainment. S.E.S, one of K-pop’s early girl group successes and the first girl group from SM, would later go on to inspire numerous other girl groups.

For as long as they’ve been around, therefore, it’s only inevitable that Shinhwa’s legacy be an ode to their popularity. What’s surprising, though, is knowing just how much contemporary idol and fan culture owes to the band and their fandom, “Shinhwa Changjo”. (The name means “making a legend”, aptly complementing the band’s own name meaning ‘myth’ or ‘legend’.)

In 2002, while still under SM, the band released their sixth studio album, thus officially becoming the longest-running act in K-pop. A year later, while reviewing their contracts, SM offered to renew contracts with all members except vocalist Dong Wan. Rather than splitting up, Shinhwa decided not to renew their contracts with SM, and departed from the company as one unit, signing later with Good Entertainment. As somewhat of an unspoken trend in K-pop, artists who leave one company for another often experience a wane in popularity. Shinhwa, however, is one of the only bands in K-pop whose members went on to have incredibly successful careers despite a company change and the mandatory military enlistments. In fact, their first Daesang(or Grand Prize), for the seventh studio album Brand New, came in 2004, almost a year after leaving SM.

But just because they left the label that formed them didn’t mean Shinhwa broke away from SM entirely. In 2013, member Min Woo looked fondly upon his time at SM, saying: “[Founder] Lee Soo Man is truly an amazing person. From each member’s hairstyles to everything we did on stage, he took care of us meticulously. He used to talk to all of us about every little thing.”

Following their mandatory military enlistments, Shinhwa became the first K-pop group to establish their own entertainment company in 2011. For a while, the band was locked in a legal battle with SM Entertainment and Joon Media (formerly Open World Entertainment) for profits and use of the name ‘Shinhwa’. The case was, however, settled in 2015, and Shinhwa Company (which had been dubbed ShinCom for the duration of the case) came into existence.

Shinhwa was also one of the early trendsetters in the industry in terms of musical control. While their creative license was limited under SM, the members participated actively in the production of their albums after leaving. By that time, most members had released solo music and found their personal styles. The result was an eclectic combination of sounds on future albums, making the band a truly versatile act.

It’s not just their music and their exceptional team spirit that set Shinhwa apart, though: the band was the first in the industry to break away from the mainstream style of the time. When much of K-pop focused on trendy skinny jeans and bright colors (think SHINee’s “Replay” era), Shinhwa adopted a much more sophisticated style with clean-cut suits and cropped hair—quite uncommon for popular acts at the time.

Also uncommon was Shinhwa’s dedicated fandom, Shinhwa Changjo, who, honestly, were fandom goals before the term went mainstream. Shinhwa Changjo are credited with starting the popular rice wreath trend—it was member Hye Sung’s fandom who first sent rice wreaths to support his solo concert in 2007. Shinhwa’s fandom was also the first to have planted forests in support of their idols.

THE MAKING OF LEGENDS

Part of the reason why Shinhwa remains a groundbreaking act in K-pop is, as

The Atlantic

put it, their “smart self-awareness.” In an industry that’s sometimes too full to the brim with new acts, Shinhwa chose to evolve and mature in their own timeline, striking an attractive balance between age and trends. The result? Hilarious variety shows and appearances where the members didn’t, and continue to not, hesitate in poking fun at themselves, all topped off by the very refreshing devil-may-care attitude that came with spending years in the industry (I will never be able to hear the words “Do you smell something burning?” without laughing.)

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In fact, despite their seniority in the industry, age hasn’t ever been something that’s held Shinhwa back: the band has embraced their late 30s with fervour and humour, even going so far as to admitting that having a “battle of stamina with younger groups” is pointless. Now that they don’t have the “weapon of youth”, they’ve turned their focus on charms that suit their age. There’s the cheeky SNL Korea broadcast where the members dress up as exhibits in a museum—only the exhibits are their younger selves from a decade ago—with visitors standing around, confused about who they’re supposed to be. There’s the sarcastic “Idol Retirement Insurance Plan” skit, where the members sold insurance plans to idols in the climax of their careers that included obsessive fans to stalk them and make them feel young. Or, if you need something else, there’s the infamous “Farting chorus” broadcast—which is exactly what it sounds like.

That’s probably the most endearing part about Shinhwa—with the passage of time, they made their own interpretations of what they were supposed to be, both as individuals and as a group, and molded the expectations to fit them than the other way round. As a unit, it makes them relatable. They never shy away from sharing both their successes and their struggles—the members have always been vocal about arguments among themselves, but have also been quick to admit how their long bonds have made working together easier. In a recent interview about their 13th studio album, member Jun Jin put the feeling into words: “If it weren’t for Shinhwa, Jun Jin wouldn’t exist.”

It isn’t just the marvelous teamwork; it’s also the fact that Shinhwa has never been a group that downplays their concerns, both as artists and businessmen. Group leader Eric expressed his anxiety about working in an industry where Shinhwa is one of the only groups left from the first generation: “We have no role models, nowhere to get advice. I think we have to grasp our future direction ourselves as we continue to work.”

They’ve also never had qualms about admitting to concerns about their company—Eric once talked about how Shinhwa realized that running a company was different than being an idol when they had to monitor how much money they spent on meals. Somewhere down the line, Shinhwa shed the skin of idols and became human, which brought them to closer to their fans.

Speaking of which, part of the reason why they remain popular favorites is also their relationships with their fans, which has always been more like that of bickering best friends and less like the typical fan-idol interactions. In fact, the group has never been hesitant to call out fans on their behavior. As a story about their first fan-sign goes, member Dong Wan told the fans that “Shinhwa is definitely not responsible for your lives.” He received some flak for that, but Dong Wan defended himself, saying that the “fans’ love could sometimes be over the top.” It was an example of how Shinhwa were mature since their early days, not caring about gratuitous fanservice and establishing a relationship of mutual trust with their fans.

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K-pop is an ephemeral industry: every burst of fame and omnipresence is followed by a plateau where new groups come in and take over, and fandoms are inherited down the generations. Yet, Shinhwa is one of the only groups from the first generation of K-pop to not only continue making music, but to be loved by fans and the industry alike. They remain among the groups for which the word “groundbreaking” rings utterly true—because of their acceptance of the changing times; because of their self-deprecating and brilliant humor; and, most importantly, because of their steely resolve to always be one unit for themselves and their fans. They never take themselves very seriously, and that’s what makes them so endearing. If you’re just starting out with Shinhwa, check out the remake of their music video, “All Your Dreams,” which was released on the 20th anniversary of their debut.

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What’s your favorite Shinhwa song? Let us know in the comment section below. Be sure to subscribe to the site and follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr to keep up with all of our posts.

Cr: KULTSCENE

L'HISTOIRE DE SHINHWA: 20 ANS, JEUNES ET TOUJOURS FORTS

Si vous pensez à depuis combien de temps Shinhwa est présent, vous n'avez pas besoin de regarder après leur conférence de presse du 14e anniversaire, où le membre Jun Jin a mis les choses en perspective pour tout le monde: “Les membres de Girls' Generation étaient à l'école primaire quand nous étions à SM Entertainment. Jessica et Hyoyeon nous ont écrit des lettres dans le passé.”

C'était il y a six ans.

Le 24 mars, Shinhwa a célébré son 20ème anniversaire. À juste titre, le groupe figure dans le Livre Guinness des records comme étant le groupe de garçons le plus ancien au monde qui n'a pas été dissous ou dont un membre n'a quitté le groupe pendant 19 maintenant 20 ans. Cependant, un examen plus attentif du groupe et de sa popularité place Shinhwa en tant qu'artiste qui transcende les chiffres et les classements, et qui a trouvé sa permanence dans une industrie par ailleurs passagère.

LE DÉBUT

Les six membres de Shinhwa ont débuté le 24 mars 1998 sous SM Entertainment, interprétant le single "Resolver" dans l'émission KM Music Tank. Dire que le groupe a eu un début difficile aurait été un euphémisme - les accusations d'être une copie de ses coéquipiers H.O.T et la controverse suite à l'accident de Sokcho qui a éclipsé les promotions de leur chanson "Eusha Eusha" ont bientôt suscité des rumeurs de licenciements. À l'exception de certaines chansons, le premier album du groupe ne s'est pas bien placé, ce qui a amené les gens à spéculer sur le fait que le groupe aurait pu être un mauvais investissement par SM.

Avec leur deuxième album "T.O.P", cependant, est venu un concept plus incisif à la tendance et un grand succès. "T.O.P." a donné à Shinhwa leur premier prix majeur de musique pour "Meilleure Clip Video", et la trajectoire n'a augmenté qu'après cela.

UNE LONGUE LIGNE DE PREMIERS

En tant que fans et écrivains, nous savons ô combien la K-pop moderne doit à la soi-disant première vague de la musique coréenne. L'ère était non seulement un prélude fantastique à la force omniprésente de la nature de ce que la K-pop deviendrait finalement, mais les artistes qui ont défini cette vague ont également laissé un héritage qui inspirerait et guiderait les générations futures. Seo Taiji et les Boys, par exemple, ont probablement donné à la Corée son premier rendez-vous avec le R & B, et le membre Yang Hyun Suk a ensuite fondé l'une des premières compagnies de divertissement de Corée du Sud, YG Entertainment. S.E.S., l'un des premiers groupes de filles de K-pop et le premier groupe de filles de SM, inspira plus tard de nombreux autres groupes de filles.

Aussi longtemps qu'ils ont été présent dans la scène musicale, il est inévitable que l'héritage de Shinhwa soit une ode à leur popularité. Ce qui est surprenant, cependant, c'est de savoir à quel point l'idole contemporaine et la culture du fan doivent au groupe et à leur fandom, "Shinhwa Changjo". (Le nom signifie "faire une légende", complétant avec justesse le propre nom du groupe signifiant "mythe" ou "légende".)

En 2002, alors qu'il était encore sous la direction de SM, le groupe sortit son sixième album studio, devenant ainsi officiellement l'acteur le plus ancien de la K-pop. Un an plus tard, lors de l'examen de leurs contrats, SM a proposé de renouveler les contrats avec tous les membres, à l'exception du chanteur DongWan. Plutôt que se diviser, Shinhwa a décidé de ne pas renouveler leurs contrats avec SM, et a quitté la compagnie comme une unité, en signant plus tard avec Good Entertainment. Les artistes qui quittent une entreprise pour une autre connaissent souvent une baisse de popularité en tant que tendance tacite de la K-pop. Shinhwa, cependant, est l'un des seuls groupes de K-pop dont les membres ont connu des carrières incroyablement réussies en dépit d'un changement d'entreprise et des enrôlements militaires obligatoires. En fait, leur premier Daesang (ou grand prix), pour le septième album studio Brand New, est arrivé en 2004, presque un an après avoir quitté SM.

Mais ce n'est pas parce qu'ils ont quitté le label qui les a formés que Shinhwa s'est complètement détachée de SM. En 2013, le membre Min Woo regardait affectueusement son temps à SM, en disant: "[Fondateur] Lee Soo Man est vraiment une personne incroyable. Des coiffures de chaque membre à tout ce que nous avons fait sur scène, il a pris soin de nous méticuleusement. Il avait l'habitude de nous parler de tout et de rien. "

Suite à leurs engagements militaires obligatoires, Shinhwa est devenu le premier groupe K-pop à établir sa propre compagnie en 2011. Pendant un certain temps, le groupe a été engagé dans une bataille juridique avec SM Entertainment et Joon Media (anciennement Open World Entertainment) pour l'utilisation du nom 'Shinhwa'. L'affaire a toutefois été réglée en 2015, et Shinhwa Company (qui avait été surnommée ShinCom pour la durée de l'affaire) a revu le jour.

Shinhwa était aussi l'un des premiers faiseurs de tendances dans l'industrie en termes de contrôle musical. Alors que leur licence créative était limitée sous SM, les membres ont activement participé à la production de leurs albums après leur départ. À ce moment-là, la plupart des membres avaient sorti de la musique en solo et trouvé leur style personnel. Le résultat a été une combinaison éclectique de sons sur les futurs albums, faisant d'eux un groupe vraiment polyvalent.

Ce n'est pas seulement leur musique et leur esprit d'équipe exceptionnel qui distinguent Shinhwa: le groupe est le premier dans l'industrie à sortir du style traditionnel de l'époque. Quand une grande partie de K-pop se concentrait sur des jeans skinny à la mode et des couleurs vives (Shinee "replay" era), Shinhwa adoptait un style beaucoup plus sophistiqué avec des costards et des cheveux coupés courts.

Shinhwa Changjo, le fandom dévoué de Shinhwa, était également inhabituel et, honnêtement, qui était le fandom modèle avant même que le terme ne devienne courant. Shinhwa Changjo est connu pour avoir lancé la populaire tendance des couronnes de riz - c'était le fandom du membre Hye Sung qui avait envoyé des couronnes de riz pour soutenir son concert solo en 2007. Le fandom de Shinhwa était aussi le premier à avoir planté des forêts pour soutenir leurs idoles.

LA FABRICATION DE LÉGENDES

Une partie de la raison pour laquelle Shinhwa reste un acteur révolutionnaire de la K-pop est, comme l'atteste The Atlantic, leur «conscience de soi intelligente». Dans une industrie parfois trop pleine pour de nouveaux actes, Shinhwa a choisi d'évoluer et de mûrir dans leur propre ligne de temps, de trouver un équilibre attrayant entre l'âge et les tendances. Le résultat ? Spectacles de variétés hilarants et apparences où les membres n'ont pas hésité à se moquer d'eux-mêmes, tout cela étant surmonté par l'attitude très diabolique et rafraîchissante des années passées dans l'industrie (je ne serai jamais capable d'entendre les mots "Est-ce que tu sens quelque chose qui brûle ?" sans rire.)

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En fait, en dépit de leur ancienneté dans l'industrie, Shinhwa n'a jamais connu de retenu avec l'âge: le groupe a embrassé la fin de la trentaine avec ferveur et humour, allant même jusqu'à admettre qu'avoir une “bataille d'endurance avec des jeunes groupes” est inutile. Maintenant qu'ils n'ont pas «l'arme de la jeunesse», ils se sont concentrés sur des charmes qui correspondent à leur âge. Il y a l'émission insolente de SNL Korea où les membres s'habillent comme des expositions dans un musée - seulement les expositions sont eux-mêmes plus jeunes d'il y a dix ans - avec des visiteurs qui se tiennent debout, confus au sujet de qui ils sont supposés être. Il y a le sketch sarcastique "Idol Retirement Insurance Plan", où les membres ont vendu des plans d'assurance à des idoles dans le climax de leur carrière qui incluaient des fans obsessionnels pour les traquer et les faire se sentir jeunes. Ou, si vous avez besoin d'autre chose, voici la tristement célèbre émission "Farting Chorus" - c'est exactement ce que ça donne.

C'est probablement la partie la plus attachante de Shinhwa - avec le passage du temps, ils ont fait leurs propres interprétations de ce qu'ils étaient censés être, en tant qu'individus et en tant que groupe, et ont modelé les attentes pour les adapter à eux même et non à l'inverse s'adapter aux attentes. En tant que groupe, cela fait que les gens arrivent à s'identifier Ils n'hésitent jamais à partager à la fois leurs réussites et leurs luttes - les membres ont toujours parlé ouvertement des arguments entre eux, mais ils ont aussi été prompts à admettre que leurs longs liens ont facilité le travail en équipe. Dans une récente interview au sujet de leur 13ème album studio, le membre Jun Jin a mis le sentiment en mots: "Si ce n'était pas pour Shinhwa, Jun Jin n'existerait pas."

Ce n'est pas seulement le merveilleux travail d'équipe; c'est aussi le fait que Shinhwa n'a jamais été un groupe qui minimise leurs préoccupations, à la fois en tant qu'artistes et hommes d'affaires. Le chef de groupe Eric a exprimé son inquiétude de travailler dans une industrie où Shinhwa est l'un des seuls groupes de la première génération: «Nous n'avons pas de modèles, nulle part pour obtenir des conseils. Je pense que nous devons nous saisir de notre orientation future alors que nous continuons à travailler. »

Ils n'ont jamais hésité à accepter les inquiétudes concernant leur entreprise - Eric a dit un jour comment Shinhwa s'était rendu compte que diriger une entreprise était différent d'être une idole quand ils devaient surveiller combien d'argent ils dépensaient pour les repas. Quelque part sur la ligne, Shinhwa a laissé la peau des idoles et est devenu humain, ce qui les a rapprochés de leurs fans.

En parlant de cela, une partie de la raison pour laquelle ils restent des favoris populaires est aussi leur relation avec leurs fans, qui a toujours été plus comme celle des meilleurs amis se chamaillant et moins comme les interactions typiques de fan-idole. En fait, le groupe n'a jamais hésité à appeler les fans sur leur comportement. Comme une histoire sur leur premier session d'autographe, Dong Wan a dit aux fans que "Shinhwa n'est certainement pas responsable de votre vie." Il a reçu des critiques pour cela, mais Dong Wan s'est défendu, disant que « l'amour des fans est parfois hors des limites du raisonnable ». C'était un exemple de la maturité de Shinhwa depuis ses débuts, ne se souciant pas de fanservice gratuit et d'établir une relation de confiance mutuelle avec leurs fans.

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La K-pop est une industrie éphémère: chaque éclat de gloire et d'omniprésence est suivi d'un plateau où de nouveaux groupes entrent et prennent le relais, et les fandoms sont hérités à travers les générations. Pourtant, Shinhwa est l'un des seuls groupes de la première génération de K-pop à non seulement continuer à faire de la musique, mais à être aimé par les fans et l'industrie. Ils restent parmi les groupes pour lesquels le mot «révolutionnaire» sonne tout à fait vrai en raison de leur acceptation des temps changeants; à cause de leur humour désapprobateur et brillant; et, plus important encore, en raison de leur détermination à toujours être un groupe pour eux-mêmes et leurs fans. Ils ne se prennent jamais très au sérieux, et c'est ce qui les rend si attachants. Si vous débutez avec Shinhwa, regardez le remake de leur clip, "All Your Dreams", qui a été publié à l'occasion du 20ème anniversaire de leur premier album.

SHINHWA ALL YOUR DREAMS (2018) MV

#shinhwa #shinhwanews #Fanmeeting: Shinhwa #SHINHWA TWENTY FANPARTY: ALL YOUR DREAMS #Birthday: Shinhwa

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