#writing: mine

[girlwonderers]

pulling pigtails

a silly little Awakening-era snippet i found in my drafts, because Nathaniel & Cousland childhood friends-to-enemies-to-friends-again means the world to me.

"Wait, wait, hold on," Sigrun said, the lines of her tattoo distorted with her grin. "You can't just drop that you and the Commander were engaged and then not elaborate. Ancestors' asscheeks, Nate!"

Ugh. Nathaniel dug his first knuckle into his temple; it was too early to be this close to a migraine. "We were never engaged," he said, which—perhaps this was marginally less painful than the questions about his father, but the next time Eluned told him to make friends and socialize with the other Wardens he was going to tie all her bowstrings in knots. Convenient, too, how he got to be the target of harassment while Ella sat there behind her stack of letters and pretended to ignore them. "Were you not listening? I said only that our parents talked of a prospective arrangement when we were younger."

He hadn't paid much attention at the time; marriage had seemed a long way off when he had been so young, not nearly as interesting as weapons training or sailing or horseback riding, though with the clarity of hindsight he could see the shadow of his father's disastrous ambition even there: he had been the one to put forward the idea of Nathaniel and Eluned's engagement—probably happy to marry his son off to any Cousland, even the second child—even one ten years Nathaniel's junior. If the late teyrn had been put out by the obvious obsequity he'd never shown it, but Nathaniel did have a vague memory of Fergus saying his mother's friends had tutted over the rumors, insisting that putting forth a match with such a disparity was 'unbecoming.' In time the suggestions had moved on to matching Fergus with Delilah, before he'd met his Antivan bride, and then Nathaniel had been shipped off to Starkhaven and all discussion of his future nupitals had ceased. Probably that had been passed on to Thomas, too.

Not, he thought with a snort, that he could picture Ella taking that any better than she'd taken talk of marrying Nathaniel. "Nothing came of it, in the end," he said, and when Sigrun drew a breath he added, "It was years ago, regardless. Ella was still young enough that she protested on the grounds that boys had cooties."

Sigrun cackled, slapping a hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to muffle the noise, and Anders even resurfaced from his porridge—probably drawn by the scent of mockery. Eluned didn't stoop to anything so undignified as looking at him, but Nathaniel could almost hear the scoff when she flicked the letter in her hand with a snap of creases unfolding. "I'm not entirely convinced that you don't," she muttered, low enough that it was clearly a comment for their little circle alone.

Sigrun pounded on the table, tears welling in her eyes, and Anders turned to Nathaniel with wide eyes and a grin that invited violence. "They have ointments for that sort of thing, you know," he said, and Nathaniel manfully did not throw his butter knife even as Sigrun fell out of her chair.

[blackestnight]

The Mourn Watcher's Oath: Vows to the Dead as a Living Work

Read on AO3. an interpretation of the Mourn Watch's purpose and in-universe code of ethics.

I swear in solemn promise, before the living and the dead who stand witness and the spirits who abide unseen, that I will and observe and keep this oath with the best of my power and judgement:

I will uphold my duties to the Living. I swear to apply my knowledge and power for the betterment of those under my care; to always offer warmth, sympathy, and understanding, which are as essential as the scalpel or the staff in tending to the needs of my charges. I swear to treat the families of the dead with respect and care, to provide my services without regard for religion, race, nation, or creed,[1] and to ease their burden in a time of grief and loss. I swear to use my skills to ease the passing of the dying by application of magic, medicine, and good counsel; but though I work at the boundary of life and death, I swear above all not to take a life except in defense of my own or others,[2] for it is not my place to decide when a soul should greet death; I will remember always that I am death’s servant, and not its master.

I will uphold my duties to the Dead. I swear to treat the deceased at all times with respect and dignity, for the dead are our noble guardians and the bridge to a world greater than our own. I swear to keep safe the dead and not to place them in the hands of the untrained, for their care is entrusted to me and our order as a sacred duty. I swear to honor the wishes of the dead, and to ensure the disposition of their remains in keeping with their mortal declaration,[3] or in the absence of such, in keeping with the wishes of the family or designated agent. I swear above all to protect and preserve the dignity and wholeness of the dead, for to desecrate our ancestors is to betray the very foundations upon which I walk; I must never use the remains for selfish or evil ends, for I do not wield a tool but borrow the strength and soul[4] of one who has lived and died nobly before me; I will honor their life with their treatment in death.

I will uphold my duties to the Beyond. I swear to treasure and shelter the spirits who visit our world, to welcome them in good faith and treat them with reverence, for they require guidance and guardianship in the waking world. I swear to defend against malign forces that betray the sanctity of our pacts, for the power from beyond the Veil is ever mysterious and vulnerable to corrupting influence. I swear to uphold our promises to the spirits who offer their wisdom and power in kindness, for they are our partners in preserving the safety and sanctitude of the passage between life and death, and in honoring the dead whose remains they give new life. I swear above all to always watch over the boundaries of death, and measure the dreaming sea; the realm of the ephemeral and eternal sleep is a neighbor to our own, and it behooves us to stand sentinel and reach out in cooperation in equal measure; the Fade is the destination of all souls,[5] and we who shepherd the dead must seek understanding of that distant, unchartable land.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and beauty, respected while I live and remembered with affection after my death; as I uphold the tradition and honor of my station, so shall I be rewarded with joy and a home everlasting.

—copied from “The Vow Eternal: The History and Philosophy of the Mourn Watcher’s Oath,” by Julianna Koszorus

—

Scribbled note attached to the page:

I grabbed some of my old ethics textbooks the last time I was home, since you were asking about the Watcher code! We spent an entire term analyzing the Oath during my first year in training. —Rook

Wow, this is…nothing like I would have expected from a necromancer. No offense! —Lace

It boggles the mind how misconstrued our order is in the other nations. The Mourn Watch are public servants, first and foremost. I would be happy to answer any questions about the duties of the Watch or the services the Necropolis performs. —Emmrich

I never thought about Nevarrans leaving instructions for their bodies after they die! Does everyone in Nevarra have to have a mortal declaration? —Bellara

No, but if you don’t have one that specifically says you want to be interred in peace, you can get drafted into the skeleton war. —Rook

I see the student body has not developed a more intricate sense of humor since my school days. —Emmrich

—

[1]The stipulation to serve “without regard for religion, race, nation, or creed” is notably absent from the oldest available transcriptions of the Watcher’s Oath. While the exact date of this revision is not known, scholars estimate it was ratified sometime in the early Divine age as a result of the founding of the Templar order.

[2]While certain texts (notably Renault’s A Study of the Morbid Order) credit the oath to never take a life with the prevalence of vegetarian diets in Nevarra, it is noted that similar vows within orders of healers, such as the Royal Institute of Surgeons in Val Royeaux, do not restrict the diets of order members; furthermore, this author would note that the vast majority of Nevarran citizens are not oathbound members of the Mourn Watch.

[3]Nevarran legal custom includes a specific, notarized document in which an individual may dictate their preferred method of corporeal disposition; common methods include interment in a crypt, artful display and diorama, reanimation (either for a specific service, or donating one’s remains to the Necropolis charnel for general use), and donation of the remains for scientific study and teaching.

[4] A council of senior Watchers proposed a revision to the Oath to read “the strength and experience” in 8:32 Blessed, given the ongoing debate amongst both theologians and Fade scholars as to whether the soul returns to the body during reanimation; the revision was reversed at the next annual council, and Watcher Liselle Van Brondine is credited with the explanation that the change made some of the more traditional spirits of the Necropolis “a bit tetchy.”

[5]Older versions of the Watcher’s Oath use the phrasing “to the Fade we shall return;” scholars believe the wording of Threnodies 5:7 to have been inspired if not directly copied from the Oath, as Andraste and her disciple Justinia had a well-documented presence in Nevarra. Based on inscriptions from crypts within the Grand Necropolis, the wording of the Oath was likely changed around 5:38 Exalted, perhaps in response to Nevarra declaring independence from Orlais.

[odakota-rose]

oooooo may i pleeaaaassseeee have a sampling of "why'd you have to go and make me like you" 👀

this is one of my shorter wips, it's only about 500 words but it keeps nagging at the back of my mind wanting to be finished, partially bc Rebecca's reaction after this bit (there is etymology babbling involved lol) makes me want to see where they end up.

“You absolute fucker,” Rebecca grumbles. “Are you trying to make me fall in love with you or does it just come naturally?” There’s what feels like an eternity but is actually only about five seconds of stunned silence while Ted gives her the kind of wide-eyed look he usually reserves for woodland creatures and the first butterfly of the season (it’s a long story). “I… shit-” she mumbles feelingly, realizing all at once that what was supposed to be an inside thought had been spoken aloud. “Uh… seein’ as I’m sure that was a slip of the tongue, did you… wanna walk that one back, boss?” And now it’s her turn to stare in disbelief, not because she’s gone and accidentally told him, but because he thinks it was just an errant turn of phrase, because he’s so convinced that he’s too much that his first thought is that someone admitting he’s loveable is a mistake.

[andipxndy-writes]

will you be my maybe

fandom: abbott elementary warnings: tw: injury; tw: blood; tw: hospital requested by: anon 1 & anon 2 word count: 2.4k

cross-posted to ao3

chapter summary: “Gregory, there hasn’t been a single year when I haven’t made it,” Janine pointed out, rolling her eyes a little at him. As though he was supposed to know that. “Not even when my car broke down and I had to pay, like, a thousand dollars to get it fixed up on the same day.” She decided to conveniently ignore the look of slight horror he was giving her. “Look, I’ll rest. I’ll get some sleep. But when I wake up, I’m gonna clean that carpet, and then we’re going.” He definitely looked like he wanted to argue, like he wasn’t happy at all with that ultimatum, but then he sighed. He sighed and closed his eyes and gestured for her to lie down. “Fine, but only if I’ve decided you’ve slept enough.”

Janine is finally on her way home from hospital, but Gregory isn't happy with her determination to keep going.

will you be my maybe? chapter 3: recovery

It took a few more hours before the doctors discharged her, and even then, they conducted more tests and made sure she was actually starting to recover and not getting worse. Janine, obviously, was getting a little impatient in this time, but she tried not to let it show.

All she wanted to do was get home and pack and probably convince Gregory that it would still be a good idea to head for that family barbecue this weekend — it wasn’t as though it would involve anything strenuous, and she would be so much better off seeing people she hadn’t seen in ages instead of just… sitting in bed and sleeping or whatever her doctor wanted to do.

And not just that, but she’d already agreed to going. She couldn’t cancel now. Not the night before, and certainly not when her mother and sister were going to be there. Someone had to act as the mediator. Or, at least, someone had to be there that would talk to them both when they were in the same room. And they were expecting two mouths to feed, and people would be calling her non-stop if she didn’t turn up.

She loved her family, but she didn’t want that.

When the nurse finally came by with the discharge papers, Janine was literally ready to jump off the bed and grab them from her, get everything signed so that she could go home. It was only because Gregory was still there that she didn’t, because she got the feeling that he would have plopped her back onto the bed to make sure she stayed there until all the papers were signed.

Or maybe she wanted him to do that.

Anyway, soon enough the discharge papers were signed (by Janine, not Gregory, and she did them efficiently and correctly so that he didn’t have to do them over for her so she could go home faster but anyway) and she was heading out of the hospital with Gregory slightly behind her. She didn’t know why he was walking slightly behind her, and she could imagine that his hand was hovering at the base of her back as they walked out of the hospital.

Only imagined, because his hand wasn’t actually there.

Eventually they reached the exit, and Gregory called her a cab to head back to her apartment.

Well, he called them a cab. (And she texted her mother to say that she wouldn’t be heading to the barbecue tonight.)

She leaned back in the seat when they sat down, closing her eyes briefly. “God, it’s nice to sit somewhere comfortable again. That hospital bed was the most uncomfy thing I’ve ever sat on, and my couch is hard as a rock.” She turned to Gregory with a smile. She wasn’t sure he’d even sat on her couch, or maybe he had and didn’t want to talk about it, but he only gave her a smile in return.

In fact, he was pretty quiet for the whole ride back to her apartment, not saying much of anything. Whenever she looked over at him, he was looking out of the window — or he was quickly turning away from her, as though he’d been looking at her just before she’d turned to look at him. It wasn’t exactly an awkward silence, not really, but Janine sort of wished that they spoke at least a little bit on the ride back to her place.

When the cab arrived, though, Gregory practically leapt out of the car, heading around to open the door for her before she could even get her seatbelt off. Pulling herself out of the car, she realised she shouldn’t have been surprised when Gregory held a hand out to help her out of the vehicle. She took the offered hand and used it to leverage herself out of the car, moving aside as Gregory shut the door behind her. It wasn’t long before he’d paid the driver and the two of them were heading back up to her apartment.

Stepping back in, she didn’t know what to expect. She supposed she shouldn’t have expected the place to look any different from the way it had been when she’d left it the last time, but it still surprised her that everything was in its place.

Well, until she got to her bedroom.

She stopped short at the door when she saw the mess that was her bedroom. Her suitcase on the bed, open with her clothes either folded inside or sitting on the bed. That didn’t surprise her, considering she hadn’t finished packing before everything had happened.

No, what surprised her was the blood that was now soaked into her carpet, and was probably dry by now. Blood that would be near impossible to get out.

She wanted to cry. Her landlord was going to kill her, she was so sure of it.

She didn’t know whether Gregory sensed her horror, or maybe she looked like she was about to cry or something, but he was putting his hands on her shoulders and slowly steering her away from her bedroom door and back towards the couch. She wanted to turn back around and head back to her room, look at the mess and try to start cleaning it because she couldn’t have her landlord finding out about that when he would absolutely charge her extra for not only cleaning it but probably replacing the whole carpet, but Gregory’s hands were firm, and soon enough he was turning her around and sitting her on the couch. She opened her mouth to say something — she wasn’t exactly sure what — but then he picked up her knitted throw and held it up, looking at her expectantly.

She pursed her lips. She knew what he wanted her to do.

“You should get some rest,” he told her, predictably. She didn’t know how she could have thought he’d say anything else, really. “You’ve got a concussion, you’ve had a long day, and your body needs rest to recover. And you can’t do that by standing at your bedroom door and staring at the carpet.”

She huffed out through her nose, even though she knew that he was right. He was very right. She couldn’t just stand there at her bedroom door and stare at the carpet, otherwise she’d just worry and worry and worry… and she needed to rest.

“We’re still going to my family’s barbecue this weekend, right?” Even if she’d planned on those words coming out of her mouth, she wouldn’t have stopped them. She’d planned to go — she’d told her family that she’d be there. She wasn’t going to skip out on it because of a little bump to the head. That was a minor inconvenience. She could get over the concussion in like a day, right?

The look on Gregory’s face told her that he absolutely was not going to give her the answer she wanted.

“You need to recover, Janine.”

“No, what I need to do is go to see my family and show them that I’m okay,” she responded simply, “and eat some killer ribs.”

“They don’t even know you’re injured.”

“But they will when they call asking why I haven’t turned up.” And she knew that they would. They all pried like that. Especially her mother. (And she’d already texted her to say that she wouldn’t be turning up tonight.)

Gregory sighed through his nose. “Then you can just tell them you’re busy. That you can’t make it this year.”

“Gregory, there hasn’t been a single year when I haven’t made it,” Janine pointed out, rolling her eyes a little at him. As though he was supposed to know that. “Not even when my car broke down and I had to pay, like, a thousand dollars to get it fixed up on the same day.” She decided to conveniently ignore the look of slight horror he was giving her. “Look, I’ll rest. I’ll get some sleep. But when I wake up, I’m gonna clean that carpet, and then we’re going.”

He definitely looked like he wanted to argue, like he wasn’t happy at all with that ultimatum, but then he sighed. He sighed and closed his eyes and gestured for her to lie down.

“Fine, but only if I’ve decided you’ve slept enough.”

She scoffed with a smirk as she lay down. “What, are you going to knock me out if I wake up too early?” It was only a tease, words that she didn’t really mean.

But the look on Gregory’s face at the suggestion made her wish that it wasn’t the last thing she saw before closing her eyes to get some rest.

***

As much as Gregory hated the smell of bleach, he knew for a fact that it was necessary. It was clean, yes, but it was strong and it hurt his nose.

The bleach had not been for the carpet.

In fact, the bleach had been for Janine’s sink, and the majority of her kitchen counters, which were far dirtier than he had expected. He’d only come in there for some dish soap and water to clean the blood out of the carpet (which was now gone, thank goodness) but coming back to the filth had made his skin crawl. He’d had to clean it.

And he didn’t blame Janine for being dirty. In fact, he didn’t think she was a dirty or messy person at all. She was just busy, someone who always like to be doing something, and had a lot on her mind. Some things just slipped through the cracks. Maybe she’d planned on cleaning the kitchen later. And if anything, the dirtiest part of the kitchen was on top of the kitchen cupboards, which she couldn’t reach anyway, so he couldn’t really blame her for that. The kitchen window was as open as he could get it, to let some fresh air into the apartment, but it didn’t really do much to get the smell out of his nose. It didn’t do anything at all, really.

Now that the kitchen was clean, though, he was just tidying it up, putting everything back where he found it. He hadn’t known how long it would take to clean the place, but it had taken quite a while longer than he’d anticipated, really. Maybe once he was done putting everything away, he could get some rest—

“Gregory?”

His head turned when he heard Janine’s sleepy voice by the kitchen archway, and he smiled a little at her. She was still wrapped up in the blanket, her eyes bleary and the band-aid still on her head, with her curls all over the place. And she looked absolutely adorable like that.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, turning to put away the last of the mugs and shutting the cupboard door before turning to her fully. He gave her a small smile. “You look rested.”

“I am.” Her voice was croaky and full of sleep, and he was almost tempted to tell her to go back to bed, but then her eyes were wide as she looked around the kitchen like she was suddenly fully awake. “Did you clean in here?”

He scratched the back of his neck, letting out a small laugh. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t as though he was embarrassed about cleaning her kitchen — it wasn’t like it was her bedroom or anything. “Uh, yeah. It was a bit of a mess and I needed something to do whilst keeping an eye on you…”

“And you used bleach?” He couldn’t quite register the tone in her voice as she blanket dropped from her shoulders, and she wandered around the room, looking at everything. “The counters look spotless! Like, cleaner than I could make them!” This time, when she turned to him, her eyes were wide and full of wonder. “Can I hire you? To do this for me? Like, regularly?”

This time he laughed genuinely. “Janine, I already have a job.”

“Extra cash wouldn’t hurt though, right?”

He pretended to think about it. “Yeah, you’ve got a point about that…”

Her laugh was cute. It wasn’t even something that Gregory had to try particularly hard to admit. He just thought it was cute, the way she giggled at his comment. And it led them into a few moments of contentment, just standing there, in her kitchen. Her kitchen that was now a whole lot cleaner than it had been just that morning.

The contentment only lasted until Janine spoke again.

“Anyway, I need to get back to packing—”

“I haven’t decided whether you’ve slept enough, yet.” The call back to their earlier conversation earned him a small scowl from Janine, but he was serious. He didn’t want her going if she couldn’t take care of herself. And he knew that if he refused to go with her, she would just go on her own — and that would be even worse. He took one good look at her face.

She still hadn’t slept enough. He could see it in her eyes, she clearly needed more rest. But he also saw the determination in her eyes that absolutely meant she wasn’t going to be backing down anytime soon. The band-aid on her head clearly needed replacing, and the wound probably needed cleaning as well. She, overall, did not look completely ready to be meeting people, especially her family.

“Gregory, I’ve slept enough,” Janine said, as though her saying it would convince him of what his eyes weren’t seeing. “Trust me, I really have. I feel awake, and refreshed, and ready to go. Just let me go. It’s only for the weekend.”

He let out a sigh through his nose, regretting it when the smell of bleach from the kitchen replaced the breath he’d let out. She had a point, though — it was only for the weekend, and then they’d be coming back and returning to their normal lives. Aside from the very obvious head injury, would it really be so bad to let her go and see her family?

“You can go,” he relented, and then held up a finger when she started cheering, “but I’m driving. The whole way. And the whole way back.” So that she could sleep in the car.

She visibly deflated. “Can I at least pick the music?” she asked quietly.

Driver picks. Driver always picks. Gregory pushed that thought aside. If that was the only way that Janine was going to be cooperative for this whole thing, then so be it. “Fine.”

That got enough of a little cheer from her to make Gregory smile, and he could only watch her as she ran off to start packing again, continuing from where she’d left off.

He could only hope that this time, everything went off without a hitch.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

yall gotta learn the difference between "this character is an asshole" and "this character was supposed to be super cool but the author is an asshole" and "this character is a teenage girl who was mean once"

[two-bees-poetry]

twenty years across the sea

[queerofthedagger]

I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy

[librarycards]

writing badly and cringily is actually an essential part of the writing process, both in terms of individual projects and in gaining voice and confidence as a writer in the long term. there is no way around the cringe. there's no way around the work.

[girlwonderers]

wip wednesday whenever

tagged by @frenchy-and-the-sea! i'm in GM prep hell (running a system i've never played or run before for the first time come monday), but i'm on the final stretch of that homebrewed crystal-healing-but-evil druid subclass i've been threatening to write! so have some fancy layout screenshots.

pf2 druids are really flexible in terms of combat roles, so i've been envisioning blight druids as a melee tank/debuffer—they can make creatures in their aura drained (which reduces max HP) and sickened (which gives penalties to basically everything). but watch out! your friends are not immune to magic cancer :)

i'm mostly in the stage of shoving this in my friends' faces and making them check math for me to see if it's remotely balanced, but considering i've never written a class (or subclass) before, i'm pretty damn proud of my first attempt.

tagging uhhhhhhhhhh @slothquisitor @aethernoise @eva-cybele @karoiseka @newty! show me whatchur workin' on!

[blackestnight]

happy (belated) birthday, @nuclearanomaly!!! i put your girl in a fancy dress and lucanis lost his mind a little about it.

Read on AO3

[odakota-rose]

'the care and keeping of your semi-retired best friend who also happens to be an interdimensional space dunce' has me rolling. share a snippet?

this one is a series of vignettes as 14 attempts to settle down for a normal-ish life with Donna and her family. i actually really like it and should probably finish this one at some point lol. it's.. idk, somewhere around 5k words rn?

“The power’s out,” the Doctor sulks as Donna steps inside his house, which would be entirely dark if not for the windows that cover every square inch of wall space available. There’s even skylights, for heaven’s sake. “And I haven’t been able to get it back on with the sonic.” “You have to pay the utilities, spaceman.” “How frequently?” he mutters, sonicking the microwave. It starts to glow, a little ominously. “Monthly.” “What, every month?” He gets squeaky when he’s flustered. It’s happened a lot since he decided to stay.

[andipxndy-writes]

will you be my maybe?

fandom: abbott elementary warnings: tw: injury; tw: blood; tw: hospital (in earlier parts) requested by: anon 1 & anon 2 word count: 2.5k

cross-posted to ao3

chapter summary:

“Well, that conversation was… interesting.” The snort that came out of Janine’s mouth in response to what he said made him feel that little bit better about actually saying it. Not that it was a particularly nice thing to say… especially about someone’s mom… “Honestly? I was afraid that would go a whole lot worse.” Gregory’s eyebrows rose. Worse? He didn’t want to know how that could’ve gone worse. Before he could make that comment, though, Janine was smiling at him. They've reached her cousin's house, and Janine is getting stuck in helping out as she usually does. Unfortunately, that leaves Gregory open for conversation with her family... and that includes her mother.

will you be my maybe? chapter 5: family

If there was anything Janine both loved and hated, it was being fussed over by her family.

It wasn’t as though she was the youngest of them (despite being the shortest by quite a long way), but she was always treated like that. Maybe it was because of the way her mom was, the way everyone treated her, but Janine was absolutely babied.

Her sister wasn’t, of course, but that was probably because she wasn’t around enough to get babied.

(Then again, maybe it was because Janine was absolutely short enough to be babied by the rest of her family…)

“I just can’t believe you went and got yourself injured before you even made it here, Janine,” one of her cousins was saying as she moved around, prepping one of the salads. “You couldn’t have at least waited so that we could blame it on Uncle Ron?”

The laughter that followed that statement made Janine roll her eyes. “I can’t let him get the blame for everything,” she pointed out… though, really and truly, she didn’t want him to get the blame for anything. She thought the old guy was nice, and he’d always given her sweets when she was younger. She wasn’t going to blame him for no reason when she was the one who injured herself.

Anyway, enough of that tangent. Moving away from the salad counter (where she’d been alternating between helping out and snacking on some of the salad), she turned towards the kitchen archway to see whether Gregory was out there.

She was more than a little surprised to see that he wasn’t still out there. Where she could see him.

She was also a little scared (she knew what her family could be like).

“Um, excuse me,” she said (to no one in particular, though there were plenty of people around her who probably would’ve heard her anyway) before heading out of the kitchen, in the direction she last saw Gregory. Glancing around, she very quickly realised that she couldn’t exactly guess where he’d gone… until she realised the door to the back porch was open and she breathed a sigh of relief.

It wasn’t like he would leave; he wasn’t the kind of person who would just leave her there… not when they had plans for the rest of the weekend. And not when he was her ride in and out of this place. Gregory wasn’t mean enough to do that.

Pushing the door open a little more, she stepped outside and was more than a little glad when she spotted Gregory outside, leaning on the porch railing. She closed the door until it was slightly ajar, just as she’d found it, before heading over to where he was a leaning on the railing beside him.

“Hey,” she greeted. She didn’t even bother stopping the smile that grew on her face when his head turned towards her, and he smiled at her.

“Hey,” he greeted right back. “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same question.” She almost thought that he was going to rebuff her, point out that he asked her the question first, but he seemed to pause and look thoughtful for a few moments before opening his mouth to speak.

“I just needed to think, you know?” His voice was soft, almost like… was he guilty that he was feeling this way? Why was he feeling guilty? He had nothing to feel guilty about.

That was, if he was feeling guilty.

“The place is real busy, you know? I mean, yeah, it’s loud and busy at school, but…” He made a gesture, a vague gesture, probably indicating to size or the school or the house or… Janine wasn’t sure. But, at the same time, she understood what he meant. She understood because sometimes her family overwhelmed her too.

“Yeah, I know.” She wanted to say more — she had to say more. “My family… you know, they don’t know any volume other than loud. I guess I grew up with it, so I got used to it over time, but it… well, it is loud.” She looked down at the dead grass out in the garden, before leaning over and nudging him gently. “I’m sorry if you’re really struggling. I didn’t mean to bring you somewhere that would overwhelm you.”

And she really hadn’t. All she’d wanted was to have someone to hang out with for the weekend, someone to chat with whilst with her family, and a friend to keep her company during any times that she was avoiding said family. And Gregory was perfect for that — it was so easy to be with him, so easy to talk to him and just hang out with him, that she was more than a little glad that he’d even agreed to be there with her. They had plans, they weren’t going to be around her loud family the whole time, and there were members of her family who were considerably quieter than the rest.

Plus, there were quieter places. Like the garden and the back porch (before all the food was brought out — then that place would be even louder than it was inside). Where they were right then was nice and peaceful for the time being.

“Hey, it’s alright.” He gave that little half smile that made Janine feel all happy and bubbly inside (because she really liked seeing that smile, it was really sweet). “Besides, it’s easier when you’re here.”

Janine had to try really hard not to blush at that.

“Anyway.” He straightened up, stretching his arms upwards before relaxing. “You said you’d show me around, and I couldn’t miss out on that.” The grin that he gave her excited her. “I’m looking forward to seeing what you have in mind.”

She couldn’t stop the grin that grew on her own face, reflecting his expression. “Oh, you should. Because I have this whole itinerary planned—”

“Oh, you know how I love itineraries.”

“—and this is going to be the best weekend holiday you’ll ever experience.” Just the way he was smiling at her as she spoke, the way he seemed just as enthused as (if not more so than) her about this whole thing settled her heart. Yeah, sure, he had been overwhelmed, and she was still ridiculously, completely sorry about that, but she’d planned something that she knew he would love and they’d get to hang out together and they’d see all new things and get to just have fun and—

“Janine, baby, are you out here?”

And somehow, her mother’s voice calling out to her brought her crashing back down to reality. Which… kind of made her feel bad. Because she loved her mom, she really did, but she also knew what her mom could be like…

Which she showed very clearly when the door practically slammed open, the older woman waltzing out onto the back porch like she owned the place. Which she obviously did not, but she didn’t have the heart (or the guts) to remind her mother of that.

“Mom!” Despite the fact that her other had interrupted her conversation with Gregory, though, she was still at least a little happy to see her. Or, more like a lot happy (because she rarely got the chance to see her). “I thought you were helping out with getting all the food ready?”

She laughed. “Janine, baby, you know I can’t be getting food all up under these nails! I gotta keep them fresh and beautiful!” She headed straight over to Janine, taking her cheeks in her hands. Now lemme get a good and proper look at you, I haven’t had the chance to see you properly since you got h— oh baby, look at your head!”

Janine (reluctantly) pulled away, feeling her cheeks heat up again. “Mom, it’s fine. The doctors said I’m okay, nothing serious.”

She pointedly ignored Gregory right then, because she was pretty sure that she could feel the look he was giving her at what she’d just said. But she wasn’t going to tell her mom what the doctors had said, or she would never let her leave. She might even make her live with her.

She loved her mom, but she wasn’t going to do that.

“Did he do this?” Her voice was low, but Janine knew that Gregory had heard her. She was offended on his behalf.

“No, mom!” She pushed her mother’s hands away again as she tried to fuss again. “I fell. That’s it. I fell. He didn’t do anything to me!”

“I would never lay a single hand on your daughter, ma’am.” Gregory’s voice was so earnest, that even if Janine didn’t know the truth, she would believe him. To her, Gregory didn’t look like the kind of guy who would take advantage of a woman like that.

Maybe he didn’t look like that to her mom.

“I fell whilst packing,” Janine explained. “I was trying to reach something high up—”

“And he didn’t help you?”

Janine could hear the accusatory tone in her mother’s voice, and she had to try very hard not to get defensive over Gregory. (Which was weird, really, because she didn’t even usually feel this defensive over herself.) “I didn’t ask for help, but he helped me get to the hospital afterwards.”

“He drove you?”

Internally, Janine cringed. “He called me an ambulance.”

She knew that those were probably the worst words she could have said right then, because then her mom was giving Gregory daggers and instinctively she moved to stand in front of him. Why couldn’t she just lie and protect Gregory from the obvious negativity that her mother was going to show. “I was unconscious!”

“A real man would’ve driven you to the hospital instead of making you foot the ambulance bill,” her mother snapped.

“He’s not making me foot the bill,” she argued, just as Gregory spoke up with, “I’m the one footing the bill.” Janine turned to look at him sharply, her eyes wide.

“You don’t have to—”

“I called the ambulance. That makes this my problem.”

Janine opened her mouth to argue again, but the look in Gregory’s eye told her that no matter what she said, he wasn’t going to listen. He’d already made up his mind.

“Baby, let the man pay.”

Her mother’s entrance to the conversation was jarring. Her hand on her shoulder was even more so.

“When a man offers to pay for something, you don’t question it,” her mother whispered into her ear. And then, she didn’t need to look at her mother to know she was smiling at Gregory — at that the smile was either fake or predatory. “Thank you so much for taking care of my baby girl. Sometimes she overestimates what she’s capable of, but we know she’s got the spirit.”

Right then, she wanted to ground to swallow her up whole. This could not seriously be her mother right then.

“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Gregory responded, and Janine knew for a fact that he was tense. She just didn’t know what exactly her mother had said to make him tense, but she’d just erased the whole reason he’d come out.

Her mother acted as though she didn’t notice how awkward Gregory was feeling — or maybe she didn’t actually notice at all. She simply turned to Janine, kissing her on the forehead as though that was something she always did.

It probably would have been if she actually saw Janine enough. (But Janine didn’t think that, oh no.)

“How about you come inside and help us with the cooking prep, baby?”

Deep down, Janine knew that her mother would have nothing to do with the food prep. If anything, she would be “helping out” with taste testing and not doing much of anything else. That was how it always was, every year.

Which wasn’t really a problem, in her eyes. (It was in Ayesha’s, though — every time.)

“Sure, mom,” Janine smiled at her. “I’ll be right there, promise.”

Her mother hesitated, and Janine was slightly afraid that she would say something to force her to come inside, but instead she smiled. “Of course, baby! Just don’t keep us waiting! You know how I love your salads.”

And with that, her mother headed inside, leaving herself and Gregory out on the back porch.

***

There were, honestly, a lot of things Gregory thought about the situation that had just happened. It wasn’t something he’d expected to happen, not really, but he didn’t know what to expect with Janine’s family. But he also didn’t expect to say anything about what had just happened.

It was just that the words unintentionally slipped out of his mouth.

“Well, that conversation was… interesting.”

The snort that came out of Janine’s mouth in response to what he said made him feel that little bit better about actually saying it. Not that it was a particularly nice thing to say… especially about someone’s mom…

“Honestly? I was afraid that would go a whole lot worse.”

Gregory’s eyebrows rose. Worse? He didn’t want to know how that could’ve gone worse. Before he could make that comment, though, Janine was smiling at him.

“Thank you so much for offering to help out with the hospital bill…” And then she was looking down at her feet, and he already knew what she was going to say. “Honestly, though, you don’t—”

“I’m going to help, Janine,” he cut in, his voice soft. “I’m going to help because that’s what friends do. Especially when said friends are part of the reason why the bill is so high.”

“The bill being so high is not your fault.”

“And you’ve got enough to pay for anyway without adding ‘riding in an ambulance’ to your list of things to pay for.”

When she stayed silent at that one, he knew he had her there.

“Anyway, we didn’t come here to think about that,” Janine brushed off the whole conversation with ease, as though she was avoiding it. Gregory didn’t blame her for wanting to avoid it. “Do you want to come inside and try my salad before everything gets started? It’s the best salad you’ll ever have.”

The temptation was more than a little cute, and also pretty funny. Best salad?

“It’s got to be pretty amazing to top my list,” he said, leaning on the porch as he faced her. “I’ve tried some pretty incredible salads.”

“But none like mine.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.” She grinned at him as she turned to head inside, looking at him over her shoulder. Like she expected him to follow. “Of course, you won’t really know unless you come inside and find out yourself.”

And even though they were just friends, even though it was platonic, Gregory couldn’t help but feel like there was some sort of… teasing tension there as he watched her head inside, her back to him. A tension that made him head straight inside to try her salad, whether he liked it or not.

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[manincaffeine]

I want romance. I want laughter. I want the 3am love making. I want consistency. I want loyalty. I want the random looks of admiration. I want to know you're just for me. I want date nights and flowers. I want truth. I want priority. I want love that's pure and calming.

[two-bees-poetry]

the grief of growing

[exyrpf]

idc how hard you try you will NOT get me to stop using snorted in my dialogue. i will always use growled and choked and hissed and huffed and grunted and breathed and frowned and sniffed and scoffed and spluttered and purred and snickered and exhaled and whimpered and smiled and laughed and sneered and frowned

i love you words that indicate sound and tone i love you poetics i love you dialogue tags they will never take you away from me i love you i love you i love you