#writer 2: the first shot of her should be her lining up toys

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

I think it's really funny that Leola has less than fifteen minutes of screen time and they managed to make her so incredibly, obviously autistic

[drabbles-mc]

One of Them Girls

Angel Reyes x Reader

Request by @lakamaa12: I have a request.. if you don't want to do it, no worries (or it's been done by another blog and I missed it).I was wondering if you would consider writing something with Angel based around the song One of Them Girls by Lee Brice?

(Part 2 can be found Here)

Warnings: language, alcohol, Angel being the cutie we know he is

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: To the best of my knowledge, no one else has written an Angel fic for this song yet! If you have and I didn’t see it, my bad! But real talk I’ve been obsessed with this song lately and I wanted to write a fic for it so I’m super glad you sent this my way. Hope you enjoy! xo

Angel Taglist: @mayans-sauce @helli4nthus @angelreyesgirl @starrynite7114 @queenbeered @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @appropriate-writers-name @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969 @beardburnsupersoldiers @louisianalady @gemini0410 @paintballkid711 @chibsytelford @yourwonkywriter @sesamepancakes @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @plentyoffandoms @georgiaaintnopeach @twistnet @amandinesblogofstuff @garbinge @bucky-iss-bae @enjoy-the-destruction @encounterthepast @lilacyennefer @everyhowlmarksthedead @rosieposie0624 @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ (If you want to be tagged let me know! xo)

Your roommate had been trying for months to get you to go to one of the MC parties with her. She knew them from working at Vicki’s and she swore that you would have a good time if you just came to the clubhouse with her.

“Just for a couple hours,” she pleaded as she stood in the doorway to your room, “and if you’re really not having a good time, we can leave and I’ll never bother you about it again. Promise.”

You sighed, leaning your head back against your headboard, “Fine. Just so you won’t bother me about it anymore.”

She beamed, “Yes! Oh this is gonna be so fun,” you could practically see the thoughts racing through her head, “Wear those skinny jeans that make your butt look good.”

You groaned, “You’re gonna dress me, too?”

She laughed, “It’s just a friendly suggestion.”

It was a suggestion that you begrudgingly took her up on. She really wasn’t that pushy about what to wear, but she knew that she was able to nudge you out of your comfort zone a little bit sometimes. You’d ended up with a simple, low-cut black tank top, the jeans she had suggested, and a pair of black boots. You weren’t going to risk snapping your ankle in a pair of heels when you didn’t know what you’d be walking into.

Elena may have been persistent, but she was a woman of her word. She stayed by you when you first arrived, knowing the scene was a little overwhelming when you first walk into it. You weren’t quite sure what you had been expecting, but this wasn’t quite what you had pictured in your mind. It was a little tamer, a little less chaotic than your brain had been telling you it would be.

“C’mon,” she tugged you towards the bar, “I’ll get you a beer.”

“Elena, who are all these people?” you asked quietly as you scanned the room.

She started pointing out the members of the MC one by one, telling you their names and a few fun facts about each. Some of the facts were a little more information than you cared to know, but she got you to laugh. Some of the girls you recognized because they’d come over and hang out at your apartment sometimes, and it was nice to know that you knew more than just one person at the party. They said there was power in numbers, right?

“Hey, querida,” a voice piped up from behind the two of you.

Elena turned, a smile instantly spreading across her face as she walked up to the man who had been speaking to her and letting him scoop her up in a hug, “Angel, hey!”

He set her down and his eyes found their way over to you. You felt small under the weight of his gaze but you tried not to let it show. He glanced back to Elena, “You brought a friend?”

She laughed, nodding, “Angel, this is my roommate, and best friend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Angel, the biggest pain in the ass in the MC.”

He placed a hand over his chest, an exaggeratedly pained expression on his face, “Right to my heart.”

The three of you laughed and you shook your head slightly, the nerves beginning to dissipate a little bit. You weren’t expecting him to plop down on the stool next to yours, but he did. You looked over to Elena, as if to ask if you should be worried about anything. She flashed you a smile as she sat down on the other side of you, giving your arm a light, reassuring squeeze as she reached for her drink.

“So what questionable decisions led you here tonight?” he asked with a laugh as he took a swig of his beer.

You laughed, shaking your head, “Just throwing Elena a bone. She’s been wanting me to come here with her for a while.”

“Didn’t want to be hanging out with a bunch of degenerates?” there was a playful smirk on his face.

You smiled, “More like I didn’t want to be hanging out with a bunch of people in general,” you laughed, “I’m a bit of a homebody.”

“I’m working on that,” Elena piped in with a smile.

The three of you sat at the bar and talked for a little while. You could tell that Angel was trying to get a read on you, the new girl. You couldn’t be mad because you were doing the same thing to him. He was smooth, flirtatious, but not overbearingly so. That was a game you’d be willing to play for the night while you pacified your friend. If you were going to be forced to socialize, there were worse people to look at while doing it.

Elena must’ve gotten the vibe from you, because she politely excused herself from the conversation, letting you know that she wouldn’t be far if you decided that you wanted to bail and go home. You saw the smirk tugging at her lips as she walked away though, knowing that you were having a much better time there than you’d ever admit.

“So I gotta know,” Angel asked as he idly toyed with the beer bottle in his hands, “how does a homebody like you end up rooming with Miss “Life of the Party” Elena?”

You laughed, trying not to stare at the way his ringed fingers traced and curled around the neck of his beer bottle, “We actually had a few classes together our first year in college,” you shook your head, “Nothing bonds two people together like suffering through statistics classes together.”

He chuckled, “Fuck that.”

“That was exactly how we felt.”

The longer the two of you talked, the more he tested his boundaries. He wasn’t pushy, or inappropriate, but he was definitely trying to figure out what made you tick. You weren’t going to give him that kind of satisfaction so quickly, though. You bantered back and forth with him, and you couldn’t remember the last time a guy had you laughing so hard.

Angel was in the middle of an incredibly cheesy pickup line that he swore has worked for him before when the song coming through the speakers changed. You couldn’t help but to perk up a little bit at the familiar beat and Angel noticed the shift immediately. He watched you for a moment as he tried to feel out the situation.

“Wanna dance?”

You shook your head no with zero hesitation, “No thank you.”

He laughed, “C’mon, why not? Live a little.”

You smiled but didn’t move to get up from your stool, “I’m sure there are plenty of women here tonight that would love to dance with you, Angel.”

He didn’t push the topic any further. You were smiling but he could see the flash of emotion in your eyes and he knew that there was something there that you weren’t ready to tap into yet with him. So, instead, he got you another beer and delved back into his cheesy pickup line story. When you realized that he was going to move past what you just said and not make it awkward, the tension immediately melted out of your body. You gladly took the beer bottle from him as you listened him ramble into another story.

“Yo, Angel,” Coco called from the pool table, “get over here. Bring your friend, we need two more.”

“You play pool?” Angel asked you, curious to your answer.

You shrugged as you hopped off the stool, “I mean I know how to.”

He laughed as he followed you across the clubhouse, “That’s not a super reassuring answer, querida.”

“Man, fuck him. You can be on my team,” Coco said with a laugh, “He and Gilly can fend for themselves.”

There was something reassuring and welcoming about the way that Coco spoke to you—like he had known you for years. He handed you your pool stick, smile still plastered onto his face. This wasn’t how you had originally pictured your night going, but you weren’t upset about it.

About halfway through the game, Angel was pissed that he didn’t try to team up with you. You and Coco were on a hot-streak and he really didn’t expect that from you. He shook his head as you sank another shot, and you had to laugh at the way that Coco was able to effectively gloat with just a simple look thrown Angel’s way.

“I mean I know how to,” Angel mocked you with a laugh as he shook his head, watching you line up to take another shot, “Can’t believe you fuckin’ hustled me.”

You laughed, “I don’t think you can call it hustling if there’s no money involved. You’re just mad because we’re about to whoop your ass.”

He chuckled and glanced over at Coco, “Don’t look so smug, Coco. She’s fuckin’ carrying you right now.”

The game wrapped up quickly with you and Coco both doing so well. Gilly had been more than content to sit back and watch it all happen, reveling in the fact that someone, and someone new at that, was kicking Angel’s ass at pool. Angel was shaking his head as he set his stick aside, still trying to figure out how all of that just happened. For someone who claimed that they didn’t like going out and doing things, you seemed to be full of surprises.

“Since I am a gracious winner,” you said with a laugh as you let Coco put your stick away, “I’ll buy you all a drink.”

Angel went to protest, not wanting you to be buying anything for any of them, but Gilly slapped his chest to stop him. The look on Gilly’s face made it very evident that no matter how cute the girl was, none of them were about to be turning down free drinks. Angel laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

As the night wore on, slowly but surely people began to trickle out of the clubhouse. You hadn’t really talked to Elena since you got wrapped up playing pool with the guys, but the two of you kept an eye on one another. Every now and then she’d shoot you a look, one that asked if you needed to get out, and you would just shake your head. She’d smile, sometimes throw you a wink, before getting wrapped back up into whatever she was doing. You knew that she was just glad to get you out of the house and socializing with people.

You and Angel were sitting next to each other on the couch talking, keeping your conversation low in the midst of music and noise still filling the clubhouse. You were shaking your head at him as he told you about some of the scrapes he’d gotten into with his brother, someone that you knew you’d also love to sit and have a conversation with eventually.

Elena walked up and gave you a nudge, smiling when you turned to her, “Not trying to rush you, but I think a couple of the girls and I are gonna head out. You want me to bring you home before I go with them?”

Truthfully, you didn’t want to leave. But she was your ride, so it wasn’t like you were going to have much of a choice. Just as you were about to speak up and say you’d get ready to leave, Angel interrupted, “I can take you home if you want.”

You glanced back at him, arching one eyebrow, “Oh?”

“Yea,” he shrugged, smiling, “I don’t mind.”

Elena bit at her bottom lip, trying to fight back a smile, “You good with that, Y/N?”

You nodded, “Yea, I think so,” you laughed, “Worst case scenario I have pepper spray in my bag.”

“Jesus,” Angel laughed.

Elena shook her head with a grin as she leaned down to kiss your cheek, “Text me when you’re home. Love you.”

“Love you too. Text when you get to wherever the hell you guys are all going,” you chuckled.

“Will do,” she turned and hugged Angel, “Get her home safe, or I’ll beat your ass.”

He nodded, trying hard not to laugh because he knew that she was serious, “Yes ma’am.”

When she was gone and it was just the two of you again, things felt a little different. You suddenly became very aware of the way that his arm was draped over the back of the couch, his fingers almost brushing against your shoulder. Despite the number of people that were still in the clubhouse, it felt like it was just you two left. Everything else felt farther away.

“Can I ask where you’re from?” he leaned in a little closer to you and took a sip of his beer, “Because I feel like you’re not from around here.”

You smiled, shaking your head, “I’m not. I’m from the East Coast—came out this way for college,” you laughed, “Very cliché, I know.”

“Ah, you’re one of them girls, huh?”

“Who are them girls?” you chuckled.

“Had to get the hell outta dodge?”

You smiled and nodded, not really wanting to get into the details of your decisions, “Something like that.”

“You musta broke a lot of hearts when you left,” there was a smirk tugging at his lips.

You laughed, “Wouldn’t know—haven’t been back to find out.”

Somewhere along the line of your conversation, the two of you had gotten very comfortable. You had your legs pulled up underneath you as you leaned into him, his hand resting lightly on the nape of your neck. Every now and then when you laughed your hand would come to rest on his thigh for a moment or two before you pulled it back to your own body. He wasn’t bold enough to say it but he wished that you’d leave it there.

There was a brief lull in the conversation and you looked around the clubhouse, seeing that the two of you were some of the last people there. You checked your phone, seeing that you had gotten the safety update from your roommate almost an hour before and hadn’t noticed from being so enthralled with Angel.

“You got that look on your face like you gotta get going,” Angel said knowingly.

You sighed, “Yea, unfortunately I still have to go and do life stuff tomorrow,” there was a hint of laughter to your voice.

His thumb traced idly along the exposed skin at the base of your neck, “We can take the bike, if you want.”

You pressed your lips together for a moment, “I’ve never ridden on one before.”

He chuckled as he rose to his feet, helping you to do the same, “Something tells me you’ll be fine.”

The two of you walked out of the clubhouse, Angel’s hand settling on the small of your back. The chilly night air hit your skin and sent a chill through you. Without a second thought, Angel peeled off his sweatshirt that he’d put on and handed it over to you. You started to shake your head no but he wordlessly pushed the hoodie into your hands. You gave in with a smile, pulling it down over your head. It was warm, and you were practically swimming in the fabric, but you didn’t mind.

He let you use his helmet, and you settled behind him after climbing onto the bike. Your hands were lightly resting on his waist and he pulled your arms tighter around him, causing you to press flush up against his back.

“Don’t be shy, querida,” he chuckled, “For your own safety as much as anything else.”

You laughed, thankful that he couldn’t see the sheepish smile on your face as you let your body rest against his. The bike came to life underneath you and you nervously wrapped your arms a little tighter around him, and you could feel him laughing despite the fact that you couldn’t hear him over the noise of the bike.

Slowly you eased into the ride, your nerves subsiding a little bit. Angel must’ve felt the tension dissipating because he picked up the speed a little bit, causing you to laugh and tighten your hold on him. You knew that Angel knew the way to yours and Elena’s apartment, so you knew that he was taking the long way there. As much as you wanted to call him out on it, you didn’t want him to think that you minded. It was a peaceful, freeing feeling to be riding with him.

He rolled to a stop in front of your apartment building. You hopped off the bike, handing him back his helmet. The two of you stood there and you knew that he could feel the same type of tension in the air that you felt. For a night that you really hadn’t been looking forward to, it was the best time that you’d had in a while.

You went to take his sweatshirt off to give back to him but he shook his head at you, “Nah, keep it.”

“You sure?”

He nodded with a smirk on his face, “Yea. Just give it back next time I see you.”

You smiled, “Next time? Who said I’m coming back to the clubhouse?”

He laughed and shook his head, “Damn, you and Elena are both out to keep my ego in check, huh?”

“It’s good for you,” you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, trying to ignore the fact that you felt nervous, trying to figure out how to say goodnight.

“But really,” he stepped in a little closer to you, forcing you to tilt your head up slightly to look him in the eye, “I’d really like to be able to see you again.”

You managed to keep a straight face for a few seconds, just long enough to make him nervous. You could see him racing to try and come up with a follow-up statement to get himself out of being rejected, and you let yourself smile as you nodded, “I’d like that.”

He let out an audible sigh of relief, “Had me worried for a second,” he chuckled.

You laughed, shaking your head, “Can’t make it too easy for you.”

He smiled, “Can I have your number? Or do I gotta level up for that?”

You rolled your eyes as you held your hand out, “Give me your phone before I change my mind.”

He chuckled as he dug it out of his pocket and pressed it into the palm of your hand. He watched you intently as you plugged your number in, smiling as you handed it back to him, “This your real number? Or one of those rejection hotlines?”

You smirked, “Guess you’ll have to call me and find out. One time I gave some dude the number that would just play the John Cena theme song over and over again. That was…peak rejection.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring for me, you get that, right?” he laughed.

You smiled and shook your head, “It’s my real number, promise,” you stood up on your tip-toes and kissed him on the cheek, “Thanks for bringing me home.”

He couldn’t hide that he was surprised by the gesture. A huge smile spread across his face as he nodded, “Yea, any time.”

“Get home safe.”

He nodded, “I will,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you crossed your arms over your chest, trapping the heat against your body as you watched him get back on his bike and strap his helmet on. He flashed you another smile and you waved him off.

You let out a small sigh of contentment as you turned around and made your way into your building. The walk up to your apartment seemed much shorter as you replayed the night over in your head. You turned the key in the lock and stepped in, glad to be home but simultaneously wishing that the night wasn’t over yet. You showered and threw your pajamas on, falling into your bed with a happy sigh. After shutting the light off and settling in underneath your blanket, your phone buzzed on your nightstand. You reached over to see who it was, and smiled when you saw a message waiting for you from a new number.

“Home safe. Sweet dreams” after a few seconds a second text came in, “It’s Angel by the way”

You chuckled as you typed out your reply, ‘Thanks for the clarification. Got worried for a second”

“Just tryna be sweet and you can’t let me have it, can you?”

“Nope” you were laughing in the quiet darkness of your room.

“Alright. Sweet nightmares then. Goodnight”

You could picture his face and you couldn’t stop smiling, “Goodnight xo”

You set your phone off to the side again, settling back down underneath your covers. Your body wanted to sleep but your brain was too busy replaying the entire night over again and you couldn’t stop smiling.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

 Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Exit Strategy (S2, E10)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:40 - Oh it’s Capshaw’s dream. Well. That’s upsetting. 

1:10 - .....she was performing surgery on herself?!!? WTF?

1:37 - The fact that Jessica broke into her adult child’s home to steal Martin memorabilia is hilarious to me. Also deeply upsetting. Because - dysfunctional. 

1:40 - “In my loft? Where I live?” hahahahahahaha sassy!Malcolm for the win! Also - there is something so so cute about the way Tom delivers this line. <3 It’s precious. 

1:46 - “I don’t always wake up screaming.” ....so historically we know this is true. Malcolm didn’t wake up screaming at the beginning of 1x15 when Eve was in his loft....but still... Malcolm’s mental health has been in tatters. I find it highly unlikely that he wouldn’t be waking up screaming. Especially since he was hallucinating last episode!!!!

1:55 - The Never. Ever. Room?!?!?! I’m shook. I’m amused. I’m horrified. I can’t believe that Jessica would let Malcolm keep that stuff in his loft. Why isn’t it locked up in a storage container or something? Jessica let Malcolm - the boy that Martin traumatized - sleep in the same building as all of Martin’s belongings?!?! Nah. Jessica is so overbearing .... I just don’t buy it. 

2:21 - “I am ignoring the Surgeon altogether.” Awww look at how proud Malcolm is to tell Jessica about his serial killer cleanse. He’s like, “I finally have news that will make Mom happy!!” <3 <3 Precious. 

2:36 - “He’s been calling. Non-stop.” annnnnnnd there’s are sad profiler. He’s putting on a good act for Jessica but he’s still clearly in a lot of emotional pain. 

3:15 - Really? The writers have Jessica riding the Brightwell train now? For real? I’m here for it but it feels kind of fast? Forced? Out of left field? I mean Jessica’s totally the type of mom who meddles in her kid’s love life (remember Eve?) but in the middle of the whole Ainsley-Endicott fiasco? Jessica should be more concerned about Malcolm’s mental state and less concerned with his relationship status. 

3:17 - Did Malcolm really just admit (sort of abstractly, but still) that he’s interested in Dani romantically? Doesn’t he realize that Jessica will try to interfere?!? He’s basically given her his blessing!!! 

3:25 - awwwww....the pic of baby!Malcolm and baby!Ainsley is so cute. <3

3:40 - UGH. I want to know more about that key and what it unlocks so badly!!!

3:46 - “Oh great. Detective Mom.” <3 I love it when he calls Jessica “Mom” instead of “Mother”. <3

4:36 - ......Mr.David and Martin have such an interesting dynamic. Martin listens to Mr. David without showing any signs of anger, resentment, or his usual psychopathic manipulation. Mr. David controls Martin much the way a parent controls their well-behaved child. I just find it so fascinating that Martin treats Mr. David with respect. That’s not Martin’s usual reaction when things don’t go his way.

5:00 - I’m so happy we keep getting more screen time with Hector. <3 This dude’s great. 

6:05 - soooo the fact that Jessica stabbed Daryl in the neck is probably going to inhibit Daryl’s ability to speak right? Making Daryl a useless source of information regarding the breakout?

6:24 - I love everything about this scene with Gil’s new car. I love that Malcolm’s “wow, the Coronet’s looking good.” is said with this little smile. As though Malcolm doesn’t really care about the car, but he knows mentioning it will make Gil happy. I love Gil’s rant about “No more Whitly’s around my car.” and Gil’s glare when JT asks about Tarmel’s around the car. I love Dani’s “boys and toys” line. UGh. It was just the little dose of found family that I craved. <3 BUT I do have one small complaint/concern. Gil. He said, “No more Whitly’s around my car.” Whitly’s. Why did he refer to Malcolm as a Whitly? 

6:54 - “Some major Japan-y vibes.”.....I’m sorry the word you’re looking for is “Japanese”?!?! Anyone else get super distracted by this line?!? 

7:56 - “Old people” HA. OMG. I love this so much. <3 <3

9:11 - As someone with severe social and general anxiety that has at times bordered on a form agoraphobia - Dani’s dismissive tone when she says “he’s afraid to leave the house.” hurts. Especially since it feels really out of character for Dani. She doesn’t usually dismiss people so quickly. Maybe there’s a story there? She had an agoraphobic family member? 

10:14 - “NYPD. Adjacent.” Why isn’t Malcolm a member of the NYPD yet? He trained with the FBI. He’s clearly capable of being employed as a detective for the NYPD. Is it because he doesn’t want to carry a gun? Is it because Gil doesn’t want Malcolm to carry a gun? Is it bureaucracy (probably)?

10:44 - Malcolm explaining why the antique pistol won’t fire is adorable. 

10:57 - This dude hasn’t left the house since March of 1997. Martin was arrested in 1998. Is this supposed to have some sort of double meaning? Like maybe Malcolm discovered that Martin was killing people in 1997 but the chloroform confused him for a while and he didn’t call the cops until 98′? Is this supposed to be a metaphor for the fact that Malcolm hasn’t been truly alive since 1997? He’s just been in survival mode - he hasn’t been living.

11:22 - “I’m not too good around people.” This dude is Malcolm. Malcolm lives in a state of constant fear and anxiety. Malcolm isn’t so good with relationships or casual human interactions. 

11:30 - It makes perfect sense to me that Dani is the detective that Malcolm brings in to talk to Gerald. Forget the Brightwell agenda. Gerald is a scared old man. JT and Gil are authoritative men (they’re teddy bears but they can also be scary). Dani is a woman. Women are typically seen as less of a threat. Though Dani could totally kick just about anyone’s ass. But it makes sense to me that a scared witness would feel more comfortable around the smaller female detective than the large male ones. 

12:03 - Ugh. I feel so bad for Gerald. The dude is clearly experiencing some sensory overload on top of his anxiety. :( 

12:15 - hahahaha the absolute best part of this little Brightwell moment is Gerald’s reaction. This old man just connected the dots and you can see it ALL over his face.  ....but also, it’s a really cute moment. <3

12:38 - “Too late if you ask me.” Is it just me or does Gerald seem protective of Rosalie here? Almost paternal? 

13:03 - “You still think like a grand master” Is this supposed to be an illusion to the way that Malcolm thinks about cases? He thinks like the killer in order to solve the case?

13:13 - WHY DOES MALCOLM KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT A CHESS LEGEND FROM THE 70s and 80s?!? Did baby!Malcolm have a chess phase? I want details.

13:22 - I love Gerald. He’s such a cute little old man. He’s scared but you can tell that he has a good heart and that he’s extremely smart. Look at how impressed he is with Malcolm. <3 He’s a lot like Malcolm. 

13:27 -”Memory was always my gift.” Memory is Gerald’s gift but it’s been Malcolm’s curse.

15:04 - Malcolm is so close to snapping. Look at this poor boy. He’s at the end of his rope. :( 

15:14 - “Looks like you got some sleep.” Awwww proud!Gil <3 

15:40 - “Agoraphobia often comes from trauma.” Yep. Malcolm identifies with Gerald. I wonder if Malcolm ever went through a period of agoraphobia? Maybe as a teen? 

15:48 - .....is this foreshadowing? When the truth about Endicott comes out is Malcolm going to be deemed an ‘unreliable witness’? Or maybe that’s how Ainsley is going to try and pin the murder on Malcolm?

15:58 - annnnnd we finally got a good shot of concerned!Gil. There’s no way that Gil isn’t reading between the lines here. He knows Malcolm identifies with Gerald and he knows Malcolm is having issues with his mental health, identity, and self-worth. SOMEONE CONFRONT HIM. WHERE IS THE MALCOLM INTERVENTION?!!?

16:20 - “Are you alright? Don’t answer that.”.....because Martin doesn’t actually care about Malcolm’s mental or physical health. Martin is a narcissist who has a story to tell. 

16:27 - “No. Me first.” I’m. So. Proud. Of. Malcolm. <3 <3 

16:56 - “That felt good.” :) Awwww... <3 I’m proud of Malcolm for this but Martin is totally going to hold it against him in later episodes. It’s going to fuel some sort of anger. Just wait for it. 

17:05 - Again. Mr. David acts like Martin’s dad. If Martin were 8 years old. 

17:40 - Chrisitan Brole is a treasure. His acting is incredible. Friar Pete is creepy, likeable, funny, and terrifying. Honestly. Give him an Emmy. 

20:00 - “*sigh* kid.” This breaks my heart. You can see Gil’s doubt and concern all over his face. He’s doubting Malcolm’s ability to make an accurate profile of Gerald because he knows how much Malcolm identifies and sympathizes with Gerald. He’s concerned about Malcolm because....I mean have you seen him lately? The boy is spiralling and it hurts to watch. But Gil is scared for Malcolm right now. Gil is now worried that the cases aren’t enough to distract Malcolm. That Malcolm can’t work on cases anymore. That Malcolm’s mental health has compromised his ability to work effectively. 

20:50 - “We’re friends. Partners” Listen to the longing in Malcolm’s voice when he says “partners”. He wants to be romantic partners with Dani - not just work partners. It’s obvious. This boy is an open book when it comes to how he feels about Dani. 

21:08 - “And she never will.” there is something about the way Tom delivers this line. How he sort of trips over the words. I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not but it works. It somehow makes it more raw and emotional. Malcolm wants so so badly to tell Dani how he feels but he’s convinced that he’s a monster. That she deserves someone more stable than him. Someone with less trauma. Malcolm is convinced that he’s not safe for anyone to love. Malcolm is convinced he’s going to snap and become Martin. 

21:17 - “Sounds lonely.” I love the way Malcolm immediately dismisses this as ‘tactical empathy’. Malcolm has accepted that he will be alone forever. He’s convinced himself he deserves it. I’m willing to bet that Malcolm rarely (if ever) actually feels lonely. Between coping mechanisms, hallucinations, and trauma - I doubt his mind is ever quiet enough for him to notice loneliness. 

21:27 - “You’ve spent your life mastering a game. I’ve spent mine mastering how people think.” .....ok but chess is basically about predicting your opponents moves and then Gerald graduated to people watching soooooo they’re really not that different. 

22:06 - I love this. I love how Malcolm turns on Gerald only for Gerald to emphatically explain how he lives through that window. Because - isn’t Malcolm the same? How many people have accused Malcolm of being a murderer when really he’s just a man who only feels alive when he’s solving murders and putting away killers?

22:50 - Rosalie helped Gerald much like Dani helps Malcolm. But Gerald couldn’t help Rosalie because he was trapped in his trauma. .....sooooo what’s going to happen to Dani? Or is this just supposed to be a reference to the fact that Dani can’t trust Malcolm because he’s keeping Endicott a secret and she knows something is up?

22:51 - ummmmm 60bpm??!?!? That’s a borderline athletic resting heart rate for a man in his 50s. There’s no way Martin’s in that great of shape. He’s trapped in his cell most of the day. 

24:28 - oooookkkkkayyyy so maybe Capshaw isn’t as smart as I thought she was. Martin is playing her like a fiddle. Although that dream sequence from the intro did make it seem like she was only interested in Martin because she craved medical power and respect. 

25:22 - Martin didn’t call Jessica his wife to screw with Capshaw. He genuinely still thinks of Jessica as his wife.....this is not good for the future. This tracks with the dreams Martin’s had throughout this season of going back home to his family. 

25:44 - Oh yeah. Jessica knows that woman is into Martin. 

26:41 - “Isn’t it obvious? It’s the key to my heart.” LMAO holy shit. 

26:56 - “I can tell when you’re lying.” “Not historically.”......Martin has a point. 

28:27 - This counts as my “someone confronts Malcolm about his mental health” bingo square for the episode right? 

28:35 - Look at Gil. He knows Malcolm is lying through his teeth and he’s so so tired of it. He looks so sad and annoyed. Gil loves Malcolm so much and he’s clearly concerned about Malcolm but I honestly think Gil just feels helpless right now. Malcolm is spiralling and Gil can’t help because Malcolm won’t open up. 

29:15 - “When she didn’t give up Clayton he killed her. Brave girl.”.....does this mean there’s going to be an attempt on someone’s life this season? Maybe Martin tries to kill Ainsley because she’s going to pin Endicott’s murder on Malcolm? Or Malcolm tries to kill Ainsley because she doesn’t give up Martin’s location? Or Ainsley/Martin try to kill Malcolm because he tries to come clean about everything?

29:26 - “If anyone can get through to this guy it’s you.” THANK YOU. Malcolm really needed that assurance. This dude is so full of negative emotions, self doubt, and pain. Every moment he feels supported, believed in, or loved is immensely treasured. 

30:26 - Oh Capshaw. You dumb dumb dumb woman. Look at Martin’s face. Capshaw has freed a monster. That’s Martin’s “I’m a raging serial killer” expression. 

30:29 - Holy shit. Look at how quickly Martin put the “I’m a harmless doctor” mask. In the span of about 1 second he went from killer to angel. Michael Sheen is incredible. 

31:04 - “You don’t have to be trapped in here.” It breaks my heart to hear Malcolm encourage Gerald to break free from his trauma when Malcolm is still a prisoner to his own. 

31:10 - “This is your next move” “No. It’s not”. THIS. This sums up anxiety disorders. Everyone tells you to ‘move on’ or ‘take a deep breath’. They all tell you that ‘everything will be fine’. They ask you ‘what’s the worst thing that could happen.” The problem: most people with anxiety disorders know the majority of their fears (or at least the severity of them) is irrational. Most people with anxiety disorders have tried therapy, drugs, coping mechanisms, breathing techniques, ect. Anxiety doesn’t go away because you want it to. Telling someone to move on - just makes it worse. Especially someone who has lived with severe anxiety so long that it feels like a crucial part of their personality. I’ve had a severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember - I don’t want to heal. I don’t know who I’d be without severe anxiety. I’m scared to find out. 

32:10 - “Family comes first”........soooo is Martin escaping to groom Ainsley for the family business (murder)? For Malcolm (to save him from Ainsley)? To protect Malcolm from a new Surgeon related skeleton (akin to Endicott)? WHY? 

32:33 - ahhhh Papa!Gil. I’ve missed you. 

33:25 - I have this headcannon that baby!Malcolm had pet rats at some point (he’d had snakes so I feel like rats would be in his wheelhouse). One day while Malcolm was at school the rats escaped from their cage and scared the crap out of Jessica. Jessica demands that the rats be removed from the home. That’s it. That’s the scene that plays in my head. 

33:39 -.....Jessica is wearing a ring on her left ring finger. Why? 

34:03 - “Jess it’s good to hear from you but -” They’re dating again now. Right? <3 

34:06 - “What?!” Fear and confusion. That’s the look on Gil’s face. We love to see it. 

 34:25 - “Martin is escaping.” Look at Gil’s face. He’s terrified. He’s staying calm and acting like he’s in control but this dude is terrified that the people he loves most in the world (Jessica and Malcolm) are in serious and immediate danger. 

34:50 - .....last I checked Malcolm was claustrophobic with specific closet-related trauma......

35:40 - “There’s only one play for a pawn.”.....does this mean Malcolm considers himself a pawn in Martin’s game? Disposable. Limited options. Replaceable. Of little worth? :( 

35:57 - “What would you know about it Judas.” Huh. Pete is pissed at Martin. Is it because Pete views Martin’s nasty relationship with Capshaw as a betrayal akin to Judas’ betrayal of Jesus?

36:36 - Jessica using her heels as a weapon is honestly such a mood. hahaha

36:54 - Poor Jessica. The moment she realizes that she’s trapped with a killer who not only hates Martin but also has an hallucinatory friend is haunting. This woman goes from terrified to petrified. But look at her poker face. She’s brave. She tries to talk her way out of it. She tries to think her way out of it. She’s like Malcolm.

37:42 - Jessica firmly telling Daryl not to take another step right before she stabs him in the neck with a high heel is everything. Listen to her terrified screaming. She can’t believe she just stabbed the man (even if it was self-defence). This woman did the impossible while scared to death. She is a badass. She’s my hero. I love her. 

38:12 - “All she had to do was tell me where my brother was. Except they were in love”.....does this mean Ainsley or Martin is going to try and kill Dani?

39:32 - “Don’t you think that’s what Rosalie would’ve wanted for you? This time make the right choice.” Wow. Malcolm is really metaphorically berating himself. What I heard was “Don’t you think Dani would want you to live without fear and guilt? This time - tell her your secret. Come clean. You’ll feel better.”

40:12 - ....so did Dani steal Gil’s keys or did he give them to her? Can we see how mad Gil is about this? Please? .....also the not-so-subtle “Dani is going to be a part of the Whitly family because she hurt Gil’s car” is not lost on me. I’m just more interested in Gil’s reaction to Dani hurting his baby. 

40:21 - “I see why you like her.” hahaha Gerald is all of us. Whether or not you ship Brightwell, you can’t deny that Dani is a badass and a good friend to Malcolm. That’s reason enough for Malcolm to like her - not necessarily in a romantic way. 

40:30 - Where the hell did Daryl go? If Jessica was trapped where did the man with a high heel in his neck go?!!?! 

40:33 - “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.” <3 <3 The whump whore in me is in love. Forget Gillica. I’ll listen to Gil comforting a traumatized member of the team or Jessica any time, any day. <3 

40:50 - I have so many questions about this escape. Are the guys sticking together? If not - do they know where the other guys plan to go/do? Where will they be getting the post-escape change of clothes (you know the ones that aren’t property of Claremont)? 

40:55 - I’ll be honest, I’m shocked. They’ve been teasing Martin’s escape all season but I really thought he wasn’t going to escape until the finale. Now I’m so excited for the finale. If it’s not a Martin-Ainsley-Malcolm showdown or a Gil-Martin showdown I’m going to be sad. 

41:13. - Martin and Gerald both just took their first breath of fresh air as ‘free’ men after 23-24 years. The symmetry of this episode’s two main plot lines is more obvious than usual. 

41:44 - Look at Gerald being Malcolm’s wingman. hahaha it’s so cute. He’s self-appointed himself as Malcolm’s grandpa and I’m here for it. 

41:51 - REALLY MALCOLM?!!? YOU CHOOSE TO LISTEN TO A VOICEMAIL FROM THE SURGEON NOW?!?! #MORON

42:29 - Martin’s entire message for Malcolm is haunting. Even now, he’s trying to manipulate Malcolm. “I’m not the man I used to be”. I’ll promise you right now - Martin will be killing at least one person in the next 3 episodes. He’s addicted to killing. End of story. 

“I’m doing this for you” ....Is Martin going after Ainsley? I’m genuinely concerned that Martin thinks Ainsley is going to try and kill Malcolm or pin the Endicott murder on Malcolm. I think Martin caught wind of it and is planning on ‘taking care of the problem’ (Ainsley). 

42:35 - Look at Dani. She’s terrified. For Malcolm. For Gil. For New York. For herself. She knows how bad this is and she’s scared. 

42:44 - “You fath-. The Surgeon.” THIS. Dani realized that Malcolm doesn’t need to be reminded that his father is a serial killer. Dani realized that family is more than blood. The Surgeon escaped. Malcolm is in danger. But Malcolm’s father didn’t escape. Malcolm’s father has been dead since 1997/1998 when Malcolm found out he was a serial killer. 

42:55 - Malcolm. :( Look at our baby. :( He’s done. Absolute horror and terror. He looks like he’s going into shock. I honestly thought (*cough* hoped *cough*) he was going to pass out. THIS is what’s going to remove Malcolm as a suspect for ‘aiding/knowing that Martin was planning on escaping’. Same with Jessica. Ainsley doesn’t have a terror driven alibi though. At least - not that we’ve seen. 

AHHHHHHHH this was such an intense episode. I can’t wait for Tuesday. <3

If Malcolm doesn’t have a full on mental breakdown soon I’m going to have a stress-induced breakdown for him. Seriously. 

 Thanks for hanging out. 

[victoriareyloficlists]

15 March 2021 Additions to Reylo Fluff

These fics have been added to the Fluff lists located in the following lists:

Fluff Part 1 Titles A-G

Fluff Part 2 Titles H-M

Fluff Part 3 Titles N-S

Fluff Part 4 Titlez T-Z

My Heart Like a Kick Drum by Zoa (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In need of a date to his parents destination vow renewal but not interested in a real relationship, Ben Solo turns to an acting service specializing in fake relationships for a temporary girlfriend. But as he gets to know Rey Niima over the course of the vacation, Ben finds himself reconsidering his outlook on love...) More Than a One-Night Stand by Eskayrobot, Poaxath (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's having a pretty shitty night, to be honest. From the creep at the bar to the...oh, this rescuer of hers is pretty nice. And very attractive. And maybe he smelled really good, too.) lay all your love on me by akosmia (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben doesn't really think much of himself, and Rey is determined to change his mind.) Got a Feeling we Should Just Go Home by slugmutt (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Spending the week before Christmas with sullen deputy-CEO Kylo Ren is the last thing on earth Rey wants to do. Going back to his hometown with Christmas-loving Rey in tow is the last thing Kylo wants to do. But with a little help from family, some holiday magic, and a stray blizzard or two, they might start seeing things differently.) Lightning Glass by Weddersins (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: Force-users don't like to consume alcohol because it lowers mental shielding. Too bad the Resistance's entire supply of juice fermented. Better not let it go to waste. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren wakes up with Rey booping his nose and giggling. He is Very Confused.) New Beginnings by reylocalligraphy (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben comes home for the first time in five years, it happens to be Thanksgiving dinner. He’s surprised to meet a girl who’s working for his father… an odd girl his parents seem strangely fond of.) The Unintended Consequences of Single-Seater Cockpit Designs by ItsALilah (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: After Crait, Rey vowed to never, ever stick her head out for Kylo Ren again. Unfortunately, she's got marching orders from Poe Dameron of all people to save the Resistance's newest ally, who just happens to be Kylo Ren, and of course, those rescue plans predictably go to Hell. Meaning Rey's not just stuck with Kylo Ren, but sharing an uncomfortably confined space with the newly deposed Supreme Leader. A space that was definitely not designed to fit more than one person.) In Full Bloom by deedreamer (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When high school teacher Rey Kanata gets flowers with a cryptic message, she freaks out, thinking she's being hit on by one of her students. On a mission to find out who sent the flowers, she meets Ben Solo -- single dad and owner of the little florist down on Main Street. When the flowers turn out to be a delivery error, Rey knows her job's no longer at risk. But what she doesn't know is that she's about to fall head over heels for the man who keeps sending her flowers day after day because he's a goner for her, too...) Degrees and Galaxies by Pawprinter (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben could think of numerous other things he would rather be doing than spending an afternoon working on a paper. That all changes when he bumps into Rey. Maybe spending the day at the coffee shop isn't the worst way to spend his time.) A Reylo Christmas Carol by Crackedkybercrystal (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Before the dawn," Hux intoned, "you will be visited by three spirits. Heed their message Kylo Ren, least you end your days like me." It was only now that Kylo perceived his old partner to be bound with a great chain around his waist, weighed down by heavy blocks.) Of Penmanship and Discourse by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 35 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey Kenobi's professor and advisor, Luke Skywalker, refuses to give constructive criticism or facilitate workshops for his students, she decides to seek help else where. Ben Solo (or if you read his published work, Kylo Ren) is on the brink of insanity. The literary magazine he is editor for is racing off in a new direction-- and is leaving him questioning both its morals and his love for writing. To find his intellectual and creative needs met, he decides to turn to the internet. A PenPals AU no one asked for.) The Set-up by CajunSpice714 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has aways been socially awkward, but when he sets his sights on his brother Poe's fiance Finn's bestfriend Rey during an engagment party Poe decided that he and Finn need to divise a plan to set the two of them up if not for the sake of his and Finn's future wedding then for the sake of their own sanity.) From R to Kylo by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are archaeologists who absolutely cannot stand each other. They also happen to be pen pals, but they don't know who the other is, until one night they get trapped together at a creepy excavation site, and suddenly their hatred begins to unravel.) How You Turn My World, You Precious Thing by BensLostTookaCat (VillainTheBlank) (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He's the hotshot asshole who leads The First Order, the legal arm of The Resistance. She's the new company liaison who has been assigned to The First Order to keep them accountable.The annual Resistance Masquerade Ball is about to turn Kylo and Rey's worlds upside down.) If You Change Your Mind (I'm the First in Line) by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben hates watching his best friend/roommate Rey be unlucky in love. Finally, he decides to do something about it.) Take a Chance on Me by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey hates watching her best friend/roommate Ben go on date after date with no success. Eventually, she decides to do something about it. Or, 5 bad dates + 1 good one.) Haunted Corn Maze by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey bonds with her work buddy, Ben.) Zombie Run by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: During a charity run, Rey is relentlessly pursued by a zombie.) Eating for Two by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is pregnant and smells her neighbour Ben's cooking. She goes round to ask if he would be willing to share. But maybe Ben would like to share more than his cooking with Rey.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 56 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hungry overworked Ben accidentally ends up in McDonalds. Guess what happens next?) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) when the stars collide by roguewn (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rose and Rey are debating the latest Space Skirmish movie. Rose insists a kiss was romantic and Rey jokes that it was a thank-you-for-saving-me kiss. Rose dares her to kiss the next guy who holds the door open for her.) Fall Into the Dark Side by CaliforniaQueen (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a lonely comic shop owner. Ben is the equally lonely comic book writer Rey has been crushing on for years.) Something About November Chapter 11 by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is leaving First Order Enterprises for her dream job at Resistance Inc. On her last day, she gets a cake and a card with farewell messages from her department-there's an anonymous message among them, confessing to a secret crush.) Something Missing by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An angst-free AU where Ben takes his kid to work and loses track of him only to find him eating contraband candy with Rey from IT.) A Doggy Intervention by corpse_wife (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Interventions come in many different forms. Whether it's time, a place or occasionally, people, it's up to the universe to decide when two soulmates meet. In Ben Solo's case, the universe had a cruel sense of humor. For his intervention comes in the form of a German Shepard and his graceless brunette owner. Two things happened in the short span of a minute: 1.) Ben got tackled to the ground 2.) The dog had just swallowed his wedding rings) baby fever by cursebreakker (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s boss kylo basically has a heart of stone, he literally has a reputation in the offices as 'Satan’s right hand'. That is until Rey’s two year old daughter toddles up to him outside of work one day and he just completely melts.) My Roommate's a Virgin Vampire by jeeno2 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima answers an online ad from someone looking for a new roommate. Turns out he's a very weird, incredibly hot vampire with extremely outdated views on sex.) Toy Story XXX: The Legend of the Fainting Goat by andabatae (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has been thirsting after her next door neighbor, Ben Solo, for months. In a fit of sexual frustration, she purchases a sex toy with rave reviews—never expecting that when she uses it, Ben will mistake her screams of pleasure for cries of distress and break down her door to save her...) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Dump Your Date for Prom by TypeSomeSenseToMe (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey asks Ben Solo to the Prom.) you're my boo by murakamism (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's neighbor Ben Solo is the only one who ever shows Halloween spirit around here. When she discovers he's moving out, she's only hurt because that means she won't have anymore competition... right? So she sets out on a plan to make him stay.) permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) by theresonatinglight (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.) Bespoke by L_awlietxoxx (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is miserable, stumbling through his life in London without seeing much of anything. Then Christmas sneaks up on him, as does a little shop and a woman who makes custom ornaments to meet the needs of any heart. Suddenly, Ben sees everything.) Game Night by Melusine11 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey goes to live with Finn to help her get on her own feet. She has an immediate connection with his roommate, Ben Solo. It all comes to a head during a rather intense game night.)

[prettyflyshyguy]

Ok here’s Chapter 2!!! its unfinished but I have to go to bed but you can have it anyway!! Like last time if you have critique please hit me with it. I am not a writer. I am simply a fool with two wolves inside me, one craves comedic relief while the other is grabbing a knife from the kitchen. (Chapter 1 if you missed it)

Here’s an indication:

The night air was still, in the distance the sound of helicopters and sirens blaring was the only thing to disturb this empty side of the city, evacuation of all citizens long passed. The orange haze of distant lights and fires lit up the otherwise cloudy dark sky. The crack of crystalline and resin structure splitting broke the silence atop the Research Centre. A cocoon spilled out of the split in the hardened shell, flowing and bulging and wriggling out as something churned and shifted beneath the surface. Rapidly the form of a figure started to appear, breaking free, reaching upwards towards the sky until it slipped and fell backwards. It flopped onto the concrete with the grace of a beached whale, and slid a few meters back.

His lungs kicked into overdrive, gulping deep breaths of air to combat the fear, disorientation and adrenaline that shot through his body. Everything was dark, his eyelids felt glued shut. He was hot, too hot, why was he so hot. 

Crudely wiping whatever was gunking up his eyes, he began to take stock of the situation. He quickly scanned the area, he was alone.

Except for the cocoon.

‘Shit-’

He instinctively tried calling out but a faint rasp was the most he could muster as he scrambled away still on the ground. He reached for his sidearm holster.

Except it wasn't there.

He felt cold concrete on his back, he pushed into it. It was the only thing he knew was real. It was tangible. He looked back towards the cocoon, a trail of viscous liquid stretched between it and himself. He sat there, frozen. Eyes fixed on the cocoon. Tracing its outline, the way it looked like a figure reaching forward. Forward towards something small that reflected the light, sitting just out of reach of the cocoon on the ground. The huge, gaping split down the back that the trail of fluid lead away from. 

Perhaps if he was able to sit completely still he wouldn't be able to feel any of it. The fluid dripping down his hair, into his eyes. The way his arms felt too long. The way his skin felt too tough. The way he felt wrong.

Except he hadn’t forgotten what happened. It was his cocoon. 

His heart rate shot up, he started breathing faster shorter breaths. 

Leon wasn't particularly afraid of much. He tackled any new situation he was thrust into pretty well, actually. Like his brief time as a cop back in Racoon City when the first outbreak of the T-virus happened. Evicting the ‘monster under the bed’ when he’d babysit Sherry when she was younger. Being injected with a parasite egg by a twisted cult in Europe. Accepting Claire’s challenge of who could eat the most hot cross buns last Easter.

The cocoon in front of him made him afraid.

He focused on his breathing, slowing them down, taking in more air in each breath. His pulse began to calm.

A minute or two had gone by before he realised it was getting cold. The exothermic reaction of the cocoon process had ended quite some time ago and he was no longer receiving the benefits. If you could even call them that.

He thought about it again.

‘Ah. That’s right. The cocoon process.’

His memories were intact up until a point, he remembered the flames and how he tried to scream. He remembered the sensation of his skin boiling. He remembered his joints seizing up and everything going dark. The only person he’s seen come out of a cocoon looking ‘normal’ was Ada, but she must be different. Some kind of twisted facsimile that Simmons cooked up. The Ada Wong that infected him was surely not the real deal, at least he hoped.

Ultimately there were only two choices in his current situation. Continue to stare in abject horror at the cocoon or instead, stare in abject horror at whatever it did to him.

Sharply inhaling, he slowly let his gaze fall from the cocoon to his feet. 

At least the assumption was that they were his feet. They looked more structurally like primates but with thick leathery scales or plating running along down from his legs. Not to mention the claws.

‘Ok. Could be worse.’

‘Time to try standing up.’ he thought.

He shuffled into a kneeling position and placed his hands out in front of him on a bare patch of concrete that wasn't covered in goop. Thankfully they still resembled human hands. Just with more scales and claws. 

‘Could be worse.’

Very slowly, with plenty of weight on his hands, he attempted to figure out how to stand up. He quickly realised his feet were more comfortable with weight being fully placed on the toes. Like a dinosaur. Maybe he could get a job as a monster in the next Jurassic Park film. In trying to find a silver lining the brief mental distraction meant he almost toppled over, as his legs were quite shaky. Using the wall behind him for stability, he found he was able to stand comfortably if he bent his knees slightly more than he was used to. 

Carefully, despite wobbling significantly, he made his way without the aid of a wall towards and around the cocoon, to where he had dropped his communicator after Ada… Fake-Ada, had infected him.

He knelt down and gently picked it up, praying that maybe somehow the flames hadn’t damaged it beyond working. The glass screen was cracked. It was unresponsive. 

‘Fuck.’

He had no way of contacting Helena. No way of telling her that actually he’s ok. He had left her to run after Ada and now she’s out there, alone, up against Simmons and his personal security army after everything-

‘FUCK.’

He was so stupid, he let his personal feelings get in the way when he should have just let Chris handle it-

He froze.

‘Chris was just outside the door when it happened. He probably saw the cocoon-’

His thoughts were interrupted as the glass of the communicator shattered as it hit the ground. His stomach convulsed as he began to throw up. He hadn’t eaten in hours but the acid burned away at his throat nonetheless. Tears started to well up in his eyes. The full gravity of the situation hit, everything he put his friends through, everything that’s happened to him. What would happen if he finds them again? Would they recognise him? Would they shoot him? Would he even find them? What if something else found him first?

Shoving all that aside, he pulled himself back into the moment. There was nothing he could do for either Chris or Helena if he just sat here, and the risk of a military cleanup unit passing overhead and seeing him was not one he was willing to bargain on. 

-

The balcony door, left open, creaked slightly as the ocean breeze drifted through the city. It would have been nice if not for the smoke and the eeriness of the place left cold and empty. It didn’t take Leon long to find an apartment that had an unlocked door or window, long forgotten about. The infection came with its advantages, namely making it much easier for him to traverse buildings vertically which meant he avoided streets with military patrols, Ja’vo or worse. Cautiously searching, in case he wasn't alone, he swept through each room quickly before entering the bathroom. The sludge that was left over from the cocoon had started to try like mud all over him, a shower might help relieve the stress. Closing the door and looking around, he caught a brief glimpse of his full figure in the bathroom mirror. He turned away sharply, not ready to tackle that just yet, instead focusing on the uncomfortable fact he could see very clearly despite not turning the light on yet. Once again trying to find something he could root himself too, he sunk his feet into the softness of the bathmat. The cold of the tiles. 

He leaned with both arms either side of the basin. 

‘Please don’t throw up again.’ he thought.

Without giving himself time to chicken out of it he flicked his head upwards and stared dead on into the mirror.

‘Could be worse.’

His face was still somewhat recognisable, it might have been even more if he didn’t have two mandibles protruding from both his top and bottom jaw each, beginning near his ears and wrapping comfortably around his face. He was able to see them in his peripheral vision so far but preferred to pretend they didn’t exist. Forced to reckon with it now, he toyed around to determine what level of control he had, if any. The top two folded up neatly alongside his cheeks and the clawed tip bent downwards towards his mouth, while the bottom ones extended along his jawline and pointed up at his chin. More concerningly in each corner of his lips there was a line, almost like a split that ran up his cheeks either side. Tentatively he flexed his jaw and opened his mouth slightly he snapped it shut upon seeing canines that were probably a little too long. Among other teeth that probably weren't there before. At least the BSAA had good dental.

Examining the rest, the same plate scales, more like chitin or carapace, ran up his arms, legs and back. Splits down the sides of his arms and legs had more normal softer skin along with his chest, although these including his face were still stricken with splits and scarring in the skin. Much like how Deborah, Helena’s sister, looked after she emerged from her cocoon. At this point he noticed something shifting behind him, twisting slightly revealing in the mirror a set of thin spines that ran down his back. They twitched and shifted higher the more he stared at them, the more his heart rate elevated.

Not bothering to turn on any lights still, he shoved himself into the shower and doused himself in water as once again, he felt his heart rate climb. 

Sinking down to the floor he leant on his knees and pushed his fingers into his hair as the water enveloped him. 

‘It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse?? I’m a BOW now I’m a fucking BOW I’m a bio organic weapon I’m a B O W  I’M-’

Pulling his hands down his hair and over his face, he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

‘Ok this is bad, but you’ve been through worse Leon.’ he considered.

He stared blankly for a moment.

‘Ok maybe you haven't been through worse but at least this time you’re in control of yourself. No mind control parasite cults involved. Look on the bright side.’

He looked down at his feet and the water swirling endlessly into the drain.

‘You’ve traumitised Helena right after the same thing happened to her sister, you have no way of contacting anyone for help, and even if you did, you have no guarantee they won’t just try and kill you.’

He slowly looked up. His entire face, mandibles included, drooped as the water cascaded down.

Pressing his hands into his face and leaning back he let out a deep, long groan while he internally wished he could just scream. God knows if he did, if it would even sound human still. 

Debora’s wails and cries still echoed in his mind. Recognisably human in origin but alien and twisted. Would he sound like that too? Like a monster?

(Hi hello its Editing Shy here, sorry this is all I got. I haven't finished it yet, this is the unfinished bit.)

[papermoonloveslucy]

NEW LIFE IN LUCY

July 20, 1952

By WILL JONES, Minneapolis Tribune Staff Writer 

WITH HER SECOND BABY on the way and her second career in its peak, Lucille Ball is busy trying to make the facts of real life jibe with the facts of TV life. 

The complications are going to affect all fans of the nation's No. 1 TV star -  particularly those in Minneapolis. 

Her pregnancy may delay the return of her TV program, "I Love Lucy," to the air this fall, for one thing. 

And it has already meant, for sure, that she won't be in Minneapolis for the Aquatennial. (1)

"I Love Lucy," now off the air for the summer, is supposed to resume Sept. 8. Miss Ball and her husband and co-star, Desi Arnaz, are trying to stall the starting date until sometime in October. (2)

Exactly what good that will do when her baby isn't due until January is one of those facts of TV life that will take some explaining. Miss Ball explained a few things to me in Hollywood last week, and I'll try to pass them long. 

Movie studios have been known to speed up shooting schedules of single pictures to accommodate motherhood. But Miss Ball can't shoot 39 films (3) in a hurry, before her condition begins to show. It already shows. 

BY THE TIME I had my talk with Miss Ball, the full Impact of the news had already hit her and her organization; They already had decided - with kibitzing from the Columbia Broadcasting System, the sponsor, and other interested parties - one big point: 

Miss Ball's unborn child, come winter, is going to have to be part of the act. 

They were in the midst of working out some of the details. Scripts for all of next season's "I Love Lucy" programs already had been outlined when Miss Ball discovered her condition. The outlines have been set aside, and the writers have been told to think up some funny new slapstick routines for an enceinte heroine. 

Fortunately, "I Love Lucy" is a Mr.-and-Mrs. program. Its family comedy, while often outlandish, has been accepted by its fans as still being pretty true-to-life. 

There should be enough funny situations involving expectant couples to keep the subject from getting tiresome. 

IMPENDING PARENTHOOD isn't a new subject for comedy, but there has been little of it on TV, there hasn't been much on radio and it's been rare in the movies. 

And there's never been an expectant mother quite like Miss Ball. 

Even if it were possible to hide her condition - other actresses have accomplished it with the aid of special costuming, trick lighting and such devices as keeping partially hidden behind furniture and bushes - Miss Ball would be against it.

"If I turned up one week suddenly standing still behind some camouflage, it wouldn't be me," she said. "It'd be a fraud. I've got to move around." 

Miss Ball had just come from a visit to her doctor when I saw her at her orange ranch in the San Fernando valley, about an hour's drive from Hollywood. (4) She had been discussing her condition with CBS executives, as well as with her doctor, on the same visit to town. 

"The doctor told me the baby's going to come a little earlier than we expected," she said. "He says about Jan. 15. (5) He also told me I could work as long as I feel all right. 

"At first we thought I might have to quit work in October. Now I don't know."

WORKING BEFORE the cameras while with child isn't entirely a new experience for Miss Ball. She was pregnant when she made the "I Love Lucy" audition film that won her and Arnaz their present contract with the network and sponsor. 

But her year-old daughter, Lucie Desiree, was born before she had to go on the air with the new series. 

Five of this fall's programs are already filmed. ("I Love Lucy" normally is shot five weeks before it goes on the air, so Miss Ball and Arnaz were five programs ahead before they started their summer vacation.) (6) They plan to resume shooting in a week or so. That will put them 10 programs ahead by Sept. 8, the date they're scheduled to return.

If they get to postpone the program a month they'll have a 14-week backlog of films by the time it starts. Some of the best of last year's programs will be rerun during the weeks Miss Ball won't be able to work. (7) Just how much of a part the baby will play in "I Love Lucy" after it arrives is matter that hasn't been decided.

"I ASKED THAT QUESTION down at CBS this afternoon, and all I got was blank stares," said Miss Ball. 

"I'm sure we won't have a situation involving the baby every week, though." 

"You could have a funny baby sitter for a character," put in a her publicity man, Ken Morgan who also is her brother-in-law. "You could build a very funny program around a funny baby sitter." 

"I'm sure we could," said Miss Ball. She glared at him with mock ferocity: "And what do I do while the baby sitter is being funny?" 

Arnaz, a real-life rumba bandleader, plays a rumba bandleader named Ricky Ricardo on "I Love Lucy." The plots usually Involve the wacky things that happen when his wife, Lucy, tries too hard to help him get ahead. 

Although the names have been changed, and the Amazes' private life isn't anything like the Ricardos'. TV life, followers still associate the performers closely with the roles. 

As long as they're forced to bring one child Into their TV world, I wondered If they might not try to get their TV life in line with their private life. 

"That's another question I asked at CBS this afternoon," said Miss Ball. "They didn't have an answer for that, either, "Everybody's been on vacation. We haven't even had a chance to sit down and talk these things over yet." 

THEY'VE TALKED over a few things, of course. Miss Ball showed me an "I Love Lucy" baby - a doll set with clothes, feeding equipment, soap, gadgets, etc. - that has been put together by a toy manufacturer in anticipation of the event. The set includes a letter about the baby from Lucy and Ricky. (8)

"It blows bubbles, wets its pants, everything," said Miss Ball proudly. She also played a record, "There's a Brand New Baby at Our House." ("...she's changed our happy house to a home..."), sung by Desi. He wrote the music when Lucie was born. A friend, Eddie Maxwell, wrote the words. (9)

Desi hasn't made any records for a long time, so nothing much happened with the tune. The recording companies are after him again since the success of "I Love Lucy," however, and "Brand New Baby" may be his first new record. (10)

The sudden success of "I Love Lucy" - in one season, it topped Arthur Godfrey, Milton Berle and Red Skelton (11) in all popularity ratings - has left the Amazes amazed. 

I was sitting in Morgan's office when he got the news that "Lucy" had hit a rating of 70 - an unheard-of-high figure in one of the TV popularity-rating surveys.

Arnaz came into the office at that moment Morgan told him the news. 

ARNAZ LOOKED WORRIED. "You're kidding," he said. 

"That crazy Cuban is scared," confided Morgan after Arnaz had left the office. "He doesn't know what to make of all this. He thinks of all those people tuning in, and he worries." 

In 20 years as a movie star, Miss Ball never had the acclaim she's had in one year on television. 

"People stop me on the street and talk to me now," she said. "That never happened when I was in movies. I was in Ohrbach's this afternoon, and I had to ride up and down four times In the elevator just listening to people tell me about the show. 

"The only time people In the street bothered to talk to me before was when I made ‘The Big Street.' (12) But It was nothing like what's happened In the past year. And Desi and I are the two most grateful people in the world. 

"You have no Idea what It's meant to us. We're real hams, you know." 

BESIDES GLORY, "I Love Lucy" also has meant shorter hours and a happy home life for Mr. and Mrs. Arnaz. Before TV, Lucille had to get up at 5:30 or 6 every morning to go to the studio. She didn't get home until 7 or 7:30 p.m. and she was exhausted. If Desi wasn't on the road with his band, she had to go to a nightclub to be with him In the evening. 

Their marriage almost broke up because of the schedule. Lucille once filed for divorce, but never followed through. (13) In the movies, Miss Ball had to work five or six long days a week. Now she puts in four eight-hour days. 

Arnaz, who Is president of their company, Desilu Productions, has to attend to production and business matters in addition to his acting. That usually means a 10- or 12-hour day for him. But he, too, insists on a three-day week-end. 

"We don't think about the show we don't even mention it from Friday night to Tuesday morning," said Miss Ball. "They wanted me to look at the scripts a week ahead, so they'd have more time to work on the clothes. I design all my own. But I wouldn't even do that, for fear I'd start worrying about next week's show over the week-end." 

AS VICE PRESIDENT of Desilu productions, Miss Ball gets a chair on the set with "Veep" printed on back. Occasionally she signs some papers. "But may I say that I don't know what I'm looking at?" she said. 

Desilu now is producing the TV version of "Our Miss Brooks," starring Eve Arden, which will go on the air this fall. (14) As executive producer, Arnaz has had to be on hand during much of the "Miss Brooks" filming this summer. 

"But all I hafta do," said Miss Ball, "is go over and pat Brooksie on the shoulder now and then and ask her where she got those clothes. She comes in with some wonderful things." 

"Our Miss Brooks" is being filmed exactly the same way as "I Love Lucy." It's a combination of movies, TV and summer stock, a system worked out by Desilu. 

The Amazes are especially proud of it because, before they started, everybody told them it wouldn't work. Nobody figured a couple of actors could run a complex producing organization. 

They film their shows in an independent movie studio that was all but abandoned before they moved in. (15) Now the place is bustling with other TV people, including Burns and Allen, who are copying the Desilu system.

BLEACHER SEATS for 300 people were built into one side of the sound stage. Part of one wall was cut out to make a street entrance for the audience. A small sign, “Desilu Playhouse," hung on a wrought-iron support outside, adds to the summer-stock atmosphere. 

The schedule goes roughly like this: Tuesday is devoted to learning the script, which al ways runs more than 40 pages. Miss. Ball sketches her clothes and gives the designs to the dressmaker. 

There are rehearsals Wednesday. The program is rehearsed straight through, like a play. Thursday there's a full dress rehearsal, with cameras and lights. There's a bull session afterwards, with the writers present, to weed out the weak spots. 

When the program started audiences were invited to the dress rehearsals, but Lucille and Desi found they got all worked up and gave better performances Thursday night than they did on Friday, when the program is actually filmed. 

NOW THEY RELY on the laughs of the crew on Thursday nights to tell them what to keep in and what to change. 

Three movie cameras, moving in and out among the actors like TV cameras, record the Friday night performance. The program is played straight through, the only stops being for costume changes. The audience is allowed to whoop it up as much as it wants. Audience laughter is recorded and used in the final soundtrack. 

The photographer, Karl Freund, a roly-poly man with a thick German accent, was all but retired when Miss Ball asked trim to film their show. She liked the way he had photographed her at MGM. ("We fought like cats and dogs, but when it came off on the screen, I never looked lovelier.") 

He spent a week in New York studying TV methods, decided everybody there was all wet, and dreamed up his own system. (Freund was the first Hollywood cameraman ever to move a camera during a scene, mounting it on a rubber-tired arrangement known as a dolly. Without his invention "I Love Lucy" now would take two or three times as long to shoot. Many inventions now incorporated in Hollywood studio cameras are his, too.) 

ARNAZ' STUDIO CHAIR has "Prez" painted on back. (When Freund wants him, however, he Just yells for "Young man with old face!" Arnaz' black hair is shot with gray that doesn't show on TV.) 

William Frawley and Vivian Vance, the character actors who play the couple next door, have special chairs, too. Frawley's is labeled "William Frawley, Boy Actor." Miss Vance's label is "Vivian Vance, Girl Actress." Their work is admired so much around Desilu that they got a raise before they ever asked for it. 

"I don't know how long they're signed up for," said Miss Ball, "but by God if it isn't for a long time, I'll have to speak to Desi." There's a sign in the Desilu rehearsal hall: "anyone that enjoys work can have a hell of a good time in this institution." Everybody, apparently, does. 

There's a board with names of the cast members painted on it. There are gold stars stuck behind the names. Anybody who gets off a good crack, goofs, or otherwise relieves the tension that, comes with the hard work gets a gold star. 

ON SHOW NIGHTS, Arnaz, cook and gourmet, serves everybody in the crew a big dinner in the rehearsal hall. The Amazes have a bungalow on the lot in which they live during the day. The living room is decorated with water colors of and oil paintings by Miss Ball, who goes in for landscapes when she paints. (16)

There's also a large dressing room and a bright yellow kitchen. They stayed there over night during Los Angeles' floods a few months ago, (17) but otherwise they go home to the ranch every night. 

"I hate to get up in the morning in the same place I'm going to work all day," said Miss Ball. 

An extra project is under way at the Desilu studios this summer. The TV show has caused so much talk that people in non-TV areas have demanded to see what all the conversation is about. 

Three of the best "Lucy" programs from last season have been selected for showing in theaters in areas not yet reached by TV. They're being tied together with a story about a couple who have trouble getting tickets to the program. (18) (That's a real problem. Handling tickets got to be such a headache that Desilu turned over ticket distribution to CBS. Now the people at Desilu often can't get their friends in.) 

The "I Love Lucy" feature movie is being put together by Ed Sedgwick, a director who used to make some of Miss Ball's movie comedies. I've never considered Lucille a comedienne." Sedgwick told me. "She's a comic. There's a difference." 

SUCCESS OF "I Love Lucy" has opened the way for all kinds of other sidelines. Desi wears smoking jacket. Tailors want him to spearhead a campaign to revive the smoking jacket. Other clothing men spotted the narrow lapels on all his suits, and want him to endorse Desi Arnaz narrow lapels. (19)

Manufacturers want Miss Ball's clothing designs. There's a line of Lucille Ball blouses being readied. Now, of course they're talking maternity dresses, too. (20)

Another outfit is ready to put out Desi Arnaz bongo drums. (21) "Ethel" (Vivian Vance) wore an old-fashioned kitchen garment known as a swirl on one program. Now there's, a merchandising tie-up for "I Love Lucy" swirls. (22)

Even before word got around about Miss Ball's upcoming maternity, doll manufacturers were proposing deals. So there's going to be a red-headed Lucille Ball doll. (23)

Since one-third of the pro grams fans are figured to be small fry, the doll is expected to be a popular item. Morgan, a native of Devil’s Lake, N.D. looks after most of such details. And then there's talk of an "I Love Lucy" radio program. Miss Ball was on the air with "My Favorite Husband" a few seasons ago, but radio acting is a new experience for Desi. 

THERE'S A POSSIBILITY the sound tracks of old TV programs may be used for a new radio program, with some narration to fill in what the audience can't see. (24)

So, with all the success, has come more and more yearning to get away from on week-ends. 

The Amazes figure they see enough of each other during the week. So, although they're homebodies, they do quite a bit of getting away from each other on week-ends. 

Miss Ball usually sticks to the ranch, a quiet, five-acre place lush with vegetation. The orange groves are there because they look nice. "You know, I've never eaten one of our oranges," said Miss Ball. "I tasted one once, and it was so sour I couldn't finish it. We get our oranges at the market." 

They have a deal with the Sunkist people, who tend the crop, harvest it and keep the place in shape in exchange for the oranges. 

Arnaz, who has a mania for fishing, spends all or part of every week-end on his 35-foot fishing boat. He doesn't shave when he's fishing. He was away on the boat when I visited the ranch. 

MISS BALL was out back, in a cluttered yard she calls "the farmer's market," sitting in a wooden lawn chair. She looked tired. Her face, in the evening light and against her shocking-pink hair, looked paler than it probably was. Her mother, Mrs. Desiree Ball, was looking after Lucie, who was toddling around the edge of the swimming pool. Three frisky spaniels bounded up to meet me. 

Miss Ball called them away sharply. "They stink," she said. While we talked, she watched nervously to see that they didn't knock the baby into the pool. 

Presently Mrs. Ball said good-by, and headed for the house with Lucie. "Tell Ethel I want a demitasse!" Miss Ball called after her. "And tell her I want it to get rid of the garlic she put in the meat!" (25)

After she settled down with the coffee, she said: "There's one thing I really like about television. I don't have to worry about glamor any more. Well, my hair is still combed. But I don't have to worry if it isn't." 

From her chair, she started conducting a visual tour of the place, pointing out behind her an overgrown shelter with lawn furniture Inside. ("It's some kind of a Cuban hut that Desi built. I think they call it a bohio.") She pointed, too, to a huge outdoor fireplace. ("Desi built that, too. But we found out it's too far from the house. We don't use It any more.") 

Across the swimming pool she pointed out a strange lath structure, also built by Desi. "We never found out what he had in mind," she said. "We've never used it for anything." 

We walked across the lawn to inspect one of Arnaz' more practical bits of carpentry: a place they call a bathhouse, which is really a huge cottage used for parties. It has a long rumpus room, finished in dark pine, with a film projection room at one end, and a behind-the-bar kitchen that's exclusively Desi's. It's fitted with a large, black, old-fashioned gas oven, another barbecue and outsize copper utensils. 

Miss Ball peered suspiciously into a huge copper kettle on the stove. "Desi uses this for soup, she said. "He spent three years getting the recipe from Antoine's."  (26)

When Arnaz cooks, he always makes a large mess. He never cleans it up. 

"I enjoy spoiling my husband," said Miss Ball, "and he enjoys spoiling me. I don't expect him to clean up." She thought a moment. "I don't know what he doesn't expect of me." 

She pointed out a mounted marlin of which he's proud, some built-in seats he designed and constructed, and then led the way to the house. It was dark outside now. 

"Be careful," she said. “There are wires on these trees, and people are always falling down." 

INSIDE THE HOUSE, in a long tile-floored room facing the yard, we came across a third barbecue. 

“Desi isn't happy unless he has a barbecue at his fingertips," she said. Another thing the Amazes are well supplied with is TV sets. They have four, including the one in the bathhouse. 

"We always watch our show," she said, "usually with friends. Monday is our canasta night. Sometime we're over at the Charlie Ruggleses, sometimes at the Dean Martins. (27) Wherever we are, we stop for a half hour to watch." 

We took a fast walk through the house. "It won't take you long to see this place," said Miss Ball, leading the way through the long early-American living room, the bedroom, Desi's study, Desi's dressing room, and then down a long corridor, past an enclosed patio, to the nursery wing. 

"Desi built this, too," she said. "We keep a carpenter here full time to help him. Since we started the show, Desi hasn't had any time for building, but we still keep the carpenter busy." 

THE NURSERY - a three-room affair designed to accommodate two children - cost more than the house itself. The center room Is a gleaming-white, clinical-looking place Miss Ball calls "the laboratory." 

It's loaded with sterilizing equipment, kitchen equipment and laundry equipment. The Amazes keep a nurse, as well as a maid-cook and the carpenter. Desi's mother and Mrs. Ball both live nearby, and look in frequently, so Lucie gets plenty of attention when her parents are at the studio. 

Miss Ball has taken her to the studio for visits, but never takes her in for a day when she's working. Arnaz's band appears on one out of about every four "Lucy" programs. It's pretty much the same one he started with in Florida. He formed it after he broke away from Xavier Cugat in the '30s. 

The band doesn't travel or make public appearances any more, but the musicians are as glad that Arnaz has settled down as he is. They have a family life now, too. 

They work around Hollywood, playing at the movie and recording studios and at various clubs. And they're always on call when they're needed for "Lucy." 

Miss Ball and Arnaz planned to come to the Aquatennlal on the way to New York for a series of magazine interviews. One of the things that had convinced them was a two-page wire from Arthur Godfrey singing the praises of Minnesota and of Cedric Adams, who would have been their host. 

WHEN THEY found out about the baby, they still planned to come. Then Miss Ball's doctor ordered her not to. He ruled out the New York interviews, too. They went to Sun Valley instead, for a rest, but cut their visit short when they found themselves the center of attention from other guests. (28)

The act they planned to do here was one they had to dream up in order to prove to CBS that they could do "I Love Lucy." Before the program started, one of the big objections they got went like this: "Nobody will believe that Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz are husband and wife." 

Arnaz had a simple answer: "We are." But nobody paid much attention to him. 

The two made a theater tour with a Mr.-and-Mrs. routine, just to see if audiences would accept them that way. It clicked. That's what made CBS decide to go along with their first notions about TV.

#   #   #

FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE

(1) The Minneapolis Aquatennial is an annual outdoor event held in Minneapolis, Minnesota, during the third full week of July. Originating in 1940, the Minneapolis Aquatennial celebrates the city's famous lakes, rivers, and streams.

(2) Instead of September 8th, the second season of “I Love Lucy” began on September 15, 1952, not in October as was first considered.  It kicked off with the now iconic “Job Switching” (aka Candy Factory episode), which had been filmed in late May 1952, before this article was published. 

(3) Although season one of “I Love Lucy” had produced 35 episodes (the most of any “Lucy” sitcom), season two only clocked in with 31 new episodes. If their original goal was 39, they were 8 short.  

(4) Before her Beverly Hills mansion, Lucy’s dream house was in the San Fernando Valley. Desilu Ranch, as it was called, was a ranch-style home on five acres at the intersection of Devonshire Street and Corbin Avenue in Chatsworth. The home was demolished in the mid-1970s to make way for subdivision development.

(5) Lucille Ball gave birth on January 19, 1953. Because it was a Caesarean birth, Ball had some leeway with the date. Naturally, she opted for a Monday so that her real son and her TV son could be born on the same day, making television history in the process.  

(6) The five shows that were already ‘in the can’ for Fall 1952 were:  "The Anniversary Present" (filmed May 9, 1952), “The Handcuffs” (filmed May 16, 1952), “The Operetta” (filmed May 23, 1952), “Job Switching” (filmed May 30, 1952), and “The Saxophone” (filmed June 6, 1952).  Although “Job Switching” was filmed fourth of these five, everyone knew it was a knock-out hit, and it was aired as the season 2 premiere.  This explains why the photos that accompany this article are glimpses from two as-of-then unaired episodes: “The Anniversary Present” and “The Operetta.”  

(7) Desilu also came up with Flashback Intros (filmed without Lucille Ball) to introduce repeated episodes. Fred, Ethel, and Ricky would open the show with a “remember the time...” premise and then a repeat episode would be aired. These were not included in the syndication prints, but some have turned up as DVD extras. 

(8) The ‘I Love Lucy’ baby doll was a big seller for Christmas 1952.  The doll’s gender was deliberately kept vague until after the birth of Little Ricky in January 1953, after which a new infant doll branded “Little Ricky” was released. There was also a Little Ricky puppet baby doll.

(9) “There's A Brand New Baby (at Our House)” was first sung on “I Love Lucy” in “Sales Resistance” (ILL S2;E17), the first flashback episode after Lucy went into the hospital to have the baby.  The lyricist Eddie Maxwell was the real-life husband of Eve Whitney from  “The Charm School” (ILL S3;E15).

(10)  After the above episode aired on July 26, 1953, announcer Johnny Jacobs promoted that the song (he calls “The Baby Song”) was available on Columbia Records (a division of CBS, naturally) with the “I Love Lucy” theme song on the flip side.

(11) Arthur Godfrey’s show “Talent Scouts” was “Lucy’s” lead-in on Monday nights. Godfrey himself promoted the show, asking viewers to ‘stay tuned.’ Red Skelton had a variety show on CBS, competing with NBC’s “Ed Sullivan” on Sunday nights. Milton Berle hosted “Texaco Star Theatre” on NBC, another variety program. If Monday nights belonged to Lucy, Tuesday nights were owned by Uncle Miltie. All three performers guest-starred on “Lucy” sitcoms.  The above 1953 TV Guide cover makes it clear who is top of the TV totem pole. Red Skelton is not depicted. 

(12) The Big Street was released in August 1942. If people were stopping Lucy on the street, it may have been to compliment her performance in what was her favorite film. They may have also been curious about performing in a wheelchair. 

(13) Lucille filed for divorce from Desi twice. The first time was in September 1944, citing infidelity and incompatibility.  Ball returned to him before the interlocutory decree became final, nullifying the divorce.  The second divorce, in April 1960, stuck. 

(14) “Our Miss Brooks” had been a big hit on radio starring Eve Arden and Gale Gordon, who would repeat their roles on television. Although not formally produced by Desilu, it was produced at the same studio and used many of the same actors (Gordon, Richard Crenna, Mary Jane Croft, Frank Nelson) that would appear on “I Love Lucy,” including, in one episode, Desi Arnaz. The show started one year after “Lucy” and ran one year shorter. 

(15) General Service Studios was located at 1040 North Los Palmas Avenue, in Hollywood. It started life as a movie studio in 1919, and was variously known as  American Zoetrope, Hollywood Center Studios, and now, Sunset Las Palmas Studios.  Desilu outgrew the location in 1953, and moved to larger digs known then as Ren-Mar, now Red Studios. 

(16) Not much is known about Lucille Ball’s painting pastime.  We know that she signed her paintings ‘Balzac’.  

(17) From January 13 to 18, 1952 heavy rains hit the Southern California area. On January 18 alone, 3.17” of rain fell in Los Angeles in a 24-hour period. The storm was responsible for eight deaths due to flooding in Los Angeles.

(18) The “I Love Lucy” Movie consisted of three episodes edited together: “The Benefit” (ILL S1;E13), “Breaking the Lease” (ILL S1;E18) and “The Ballet” (ILL S1;E19). New scenes were filmed to help connect the three episodes into one cohesive whole. Also, new wraparound segments were filmed. The opening segment shows the studio audience filing in for the filming. Desi Arnaz welcomes the audience and introduces the cast as he typically did before every filming. In the closing segment, Arnaz thanks the audience and Lucille Ball and the cast take their final bows. The film was given one preview before it was shelved. It may have been pressure from MGM, who had their own “Lucy” movie in the works, The Long, Long Trailer, or it may have been felt that the film diluted the television programs value. Either way, it was Lucy and Desi’s final call to shelve the project. It has since been released on DVD. 

(19 & 20) Merchandising was a big part of selling “I Love Lucy” to the public.  When actual items were not mass marketed, patterns for the items were available. Advance had the license for “I Love Lucy” patterns. 

(21) The Desi Arnaz Conga Drum (not Bongo drum) was made in 1952 by A & A American Metal Toy Company of Brooklyn, New York. It was nineteen inches high. It is one of the rarest of the original “I Love Lucy” collectibles valued at $2,000 to $5,000! 

(22) Swirl was a brand of house dress that often buttoned up the back, had pockets, and a tie belt. Vivian Vance wore several designs by Swirl on the show, including one of her famous arrow Swirls advertised in magazines and newspapers. 

(23) Long before Mattel made their Lucy Barbie, there was a Lucy Ricardo rag doll. The doll had orange hair, blue eyes, bow lips, and an apron with heart-shaped pockets, just like Lucy.  It  was given away by their sponsor Philip Morris in 1953.

(24) On February 27, 1952, a sample the “I Love Lucy” radio show was produced, but it never aired. This was created by editing the soundtrack of the television episode “Breaking the Lease”, with added Arnaz narration (in character as Ricky Ricardo).

(25) It sounds as though, quite coincidentally, Lucille Ball’s Chatsworth cook / maid was named Ethel!  Either that, or Ball is joking. 

(26) Antoine’s Restaurant was also mentioned in Eleanor Harris’s 1954 book The Real Story of Lucille Ball. 

(27) Charles Ruggles (1886-1970) was a character actor who appeared in over a hundred films. Like Lucille Ball, he made the transition to television with a series called “The Ruggles” (1949-52). He was married to Marion LaBarba. Dean Martin (1916-95) was a singer and comic actor.  He appeared as himself on “The Lucy Show,” in one of Ball’s favorite episodes. From 1949 to 1973 he was married to Jeanne Biegger, who appeared as herself on the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Fashion Show.” 

(28) Sun Valley, Idaho, was a favorite getaway location of the Arnaz family. It is a is a resort city where tourists enjoy ice skating, golfing, hiking, trail riding, cycling, tennis and (of course) skiing. The world’s first chair lift was erected in Sun Valley in 1936. Lucy and Desi set a 1958 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in Sun Valley, and even went on location to film. 

[ravens-words]

I would like to very gently, and respectfully disagree about Maria not being at fault for going after Michael after she knew that Alex was feeling hopeful. The incident in TX was clearly just some drunken hookup and she didn't know at that point and when she did she promised it wouldn't happen again.

The first issue I see is that IF she "fell in love" with Michael (which is debatable and will be my 2nd point), once she knew that Alex didn't just still have lingering feelings but was feeling hopeful about things with Michael, she should have taken a step back. Alex is supposed to be her best friend, not Michael so just because Michael says it's over doesn't mean that Alex isn't still thinking something is going to happen. At the very least there should have been some conversations happening (since they are all adults and Maria now knows Michael and Alex have a decade of history, they aren't just some 14 year-olds with a 3-month long crush) before Maria basically decided to burn her bridges with Alex over Michael. (Not that the show let that happen, but the fact that it didn't is one of the major problems with the triangle anyway which was down to the writing)

The second issue, is that we're told that she "fell" for Michael, and was willing to risk her friendship Alex by going after him, but there is not a single instance while they are together that I can think of where she seems to want Michael around when it's not about sex or him coming to save her from a flat tire (and we don't see that anywhere in season 1 either except for one throwaway line after Noah possessed her). If she was so into him, enough to risk her life-long friendship with Alex, we should have seen her being excited to be around Michael, and wanting to hear what he has to say, and not just staring blankly any time he tries to open up or distracting him with sex so she doesn't have to have an actual conversation with him. If they were going to do a "love triangle" (already a dumb thing with the storyline, but that's not the point here) there should have been stakes, and if they wanted to emphasize that Malex are connected like Echo are, Alex should have ended up being a priority. But then Maria couldn't have been the one bossing everyone around and in total control of the situation at all times which seems to be what the want her character to be, in which case the love triangle should have been between her and two love interests she was trying to choose between, not putting her in the middle of two people we know are "cosmic".

You absolutely do not have to publish this, btw, I just don't see, with what we got on screen, that there was any way Maria was actually into Michael Guerin as a person, not just an idea of the kind of boy-toy she wanted, so her being willing to risk her friendship with Alex over something so shallow and refusing to engage any of them in a meaningful, adult conversation beforehand is absolutely something she should be faulted for.

Nonnie,the point I was trying to make with that whole post was that the show allows Maria to make choices, wrong ones, and she's not accountable for any of them like evry other character.

Now, you're probably right, if I did use the words she was in love with Michael- she clearly wasn't at the time. Better words would have been that she thought she could have something with him.

A few points-

M!luca was a bit (maybe a lot) toxic. I absolutely agree with you in that the show "told" us she liked him and that this wasn't backed up by her actions. I absolutely HATED how she treated Michael throughout their relationship. And that was the writers' fault more than anything.

The triangle shouldn't have been a thing, I agree with that too and I think I even said it, but since it happened, I also said that it should have been handled better and should have ultimately served in Malex' favor instead of treating them like they never even happened in order to prop up M!luca.

I welcome any and all disagreements, but I still stand by what I said. I'm not Maria's biggest fan, not by a long shot. And, me personally, I don't think I would never go after someone my friend was in love with, and you seem to be of the same opinion, but the truth is, at least for me, I've never been in that position, so I don't know if I would ever do it.

Maria was in the wrong when she didn't have a frank conversation with Alex about it, when she lied to his face, but- Michael was an idiot (I love the guy but he made some pretty questionable choices here) who chased after her even though he was in love with Alex. She thought they had a shot. Expecting her to be so selfless that she would ignore that opportunity of happiness, with someone who she'd seen a different side of at least according to what the show told us, just because of Alex's feelings, which as far as she knew (talking about season 1 here) were not actively returned, could be a bit unrealistic.

I'm not defending her actions, God knows I hated season 2 and only ever acknowledged episodes 2x04 and 2x11 with a couple Malex scenes lol, but what I wanted, what I've always loved in shows, was to see characters making wrong choices, and to watch them fix them.

Sure, my first option would have been to have her step down for Alex, but choosing to go after Michael wasn't the biggest mistake imo. What was the biggest mistake (like I mentioned) was her barely acknowledging Alex's feelings, outright ignoring them, even. The biggest mistake was the way the show handled the love triangle. The biggest mistake was the show painting Maria as this amazing, perfect friend, without showing us this, and then we see her do all that shit without so much as one word from anyone about how much she could have been huting Alex.

What was a mistake was having Alex's reaction be a totally passive thing and so OOC (again, this is just my opinion) just to paint Maria in a good light.

Maria wasn't the only one to make mistakes. Both Michael and Alex have, too.

The only difference is, both Michael and Alex were called out for theirs, while hers were swept under the rug like they didn't even happen.

I hope I made my point clearer now. Thank you for respectfully sharing your opinion 💛 if you'd like to discuss this more, I have no problem doing so, whether it's here as anon or in my messages, I'm always open to talking about RNM.

[yoitscro]

First thought: Homestuck^2 should've just been called Beyond Canon, and more people should call it that. 

The 2 was put on for chuckles; HS trending the day it was announced with it being a sequel spoke enough about how such a thing shant be underestimated, and why Homestuck is ABSOLUTELY more than just our small twitter crowd (and the scrap of us still on tumblr). I say that because remembering the Beyond Canon part slightly reassures me about the fact that this is a fanwork that will do some weird shit, and things I don't agree with, but isn't something that I have to subscribe to enjoying all the way with how I engage with Homestuck.

Homestuck 2 is not the canon continuation. Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, is an OFFICIAL continuation.

Not having it on such an important stool and as the only content we all are only allowed to digest should come from both people who obsessively dislike it, and people who defensively support it. If a character says they kick babies then I can say, hey that's weird, maybe not great writing, but I can pretend they don't in my content, and i dont have to send threats or call people cishet white men for it! and, it's an absolutely great thing that we were all encouraged to create our own ideas without anyone who's influenced us to do so squinting their eyes when we actually go through with it. Glad I don't have to put this story up to the expectations of being a sequel to a 11 year, worldwide IP that's shooketh the internet landscape since it's merely optional, Death of the Author persists, and ideas aren't just dominated and revolved around the perspective of a 1% in this entire fanbase.

That said.

As an OFFICIAL continuation versus a canon one, HS2 is ok. It certainly has that fanfiction vibe, and a story it wants to tell. I can't really tell what that story is since we have like, 10 sub plots rn though. There's not a real a clear indicator on where the focus of main conflict is that connects all these stories together.

I thought that the prose in replacement of Vriska's battle was jarring, but not teeerribly surprising for the format HS2 is going for. It's more so using drawings to compliment text versus Homestuck's usual of panels being side by side with visual importance, or even itself being the one compliment. It sorta feels weird tho that it brought old fans back in with art just for them to get sneered at when they get a bit upset that there won't be main staples of art known to progress the story forward. 

Also people who mock people for “having to read homestuck” knowing there’s language barriers and struggling focus from those who’ve been use to something that was never so dense, are ridiculous.

Personally this could be solved by knowing how old flashes worked, having way more artists on the team, maybe even an art director if not already, and noting that we're not asking for the next Cascade. Rome wasn't built in a day, but Rose Ride sure was, and Homestuck’s animation is absolutely not the same as a 12-24 framed 12 minute cartoon. That, or just snuff the illustrative art as a whole since it's very clear on where the focus is.

I’m sure you’re not here trying to see my opinions on how the outer workings are though, versus plot.

Uuuuh, let's see. Yiffy's still a name I don't care to use until I eventually get tired of any of my art that do not show up in tags. This is fine and not as offensive as people are saying it is. Minors who want to cosplay this character don't have to call themselves this character. Not wanting to be one letter away from accidentally entering a very NSFW space of twitter is fine. Also the lot of people call Tavros, Tavvy.

I hope Kanaya's anger at being cucked is actually seen versus being implied through fan guesses and another character having to say she was.

Roxy needs to be more of an involved character. Where are they during all this?

Jane should have a mention of her relations to HIC being a main/bad influence on her current parallels to Alternian dictatorship.

The PRE-RETCON GROUP should have a fun one-shot update for fans who like them, since they oughta be around if they fell through the ghost hole. Most of them. The sprites that aren't Jasprosesprite should also show up too, since they're around.

Aaaaaand I think we should be extra careful going into the future when it comes to the alien rebellion. It's weird that a lot of the writers are white and toy around with concepts that can be a not so great parallel to racism. Currently not great timing rn! If the characters are going to remain aracial, but with them still doing not much to reference other non-white earth cultures or getting new hair cuts that have different textures (looking at you, Rose), we shant make the species with actual biological benefits a racism commentary. the xeno joke at least had a play on words. If any writer has happened upon this then a, please don't get mad at me again haha, and b, consider having more black writers or directional assistance on your squad. You know who they are.

In the future. I casually want the ghost from the Dream Bubbles to be shown since it's a big elephant in the room to not have a single one of them in the bg despite a load of them appearing from the ghost whole. Don't gotta give them speaking lines, especially the dancestors. I personally don't know if I want that right now.

I also hope in the future that we don't get HS content that is only going to revolve around HS2, if it's optional enough to engage with without being the only option. That's why PQ could ended a bit better for me, and why I hope it's not the main thing that's keeping Hiveswap on the backburner. I don't think it's farfetched to consider that multiple HS content could come from more than just one team; to relieve work load, but to also strengthen the idea that Homestuck can be a various amount of perspectives when it comes to the ideas fans have. The most dedicated fans leading the direction of the story is not just a handful of them. If anything, at least acknowledge the massive ass fan projects going on once in awhile to showcase the different avenues.

"Hey Cro, you sure have bitched about this alot. Do you have anything good to say? Why don't you stop reading if you hate it so much!"

Not every comment needs to be golden, love. Again, some of these decisions I eck at, but ultimately they're just words on a computer that I'm not holding anyone at gun point to do, and I'm curious to see how the story handles itself going forward, since again, it's just a fanwork. Sometimes I wish to not only see where the plot goes, but to see a writer's craft in action.

Good Things:

The Art. Again, please have more artists. It'd help so much, especially since the main one is also double timing for VE. That said, HS2 sticks out to me because of the way the color composition is used. Aside from hair and other tiny things, I haven't seen black used a lot, which makes colors pop. It's really nice to look at. I hope we get more sharper styles of character in the future, since it builds on nostalgia and makes the trolls feel much less like they're from Repiton, but I can deal with it for the most part. I also like that one panel where the omega kids and vriska are talking in the dark room, and based on where they're standing, the text aligns. Tasty as hell.

Meat and Candy still do hold neat logic in the direction the stories go. Candy, while it could be more tasteless in some areas, is chaotic and too much of a good thing. Meat is having something a little more straightforward, though I'm not sure quite yet where it's going. I always found Candy to be the part of the epilogue that actually entertained me the most, from how much of a surreal Robot Chicken skit at 3am it felt. Sometimes the jokes slapped real nice and made me wonder, going in, how is this monkeys paw gonna play out and, hopefully, make people laugh or smirk like they got a good roast at themself?

The slightly episodic feel of each update is what I wanted from the Epilogues, so it's interesting to see that play out when it comes to switching different perspectives.

The bonus updates get points for featuring characters that a lot of us have been wanting to see for ages.

Hopefully this isn't unpopular, but I think the tension of Yiffy's introduction was nicely composed and written (ignoring some of the things I wish for Jane). It leaves you with enough want to see what'll happen next time. You could also say that despite her growling and making a lot of noise, it's not actually bad writing: I see it as the audience being forced to see her in the same perspective that Jane see's her; a dog. Upon no context we're seeing the same thing while knowing things are obviously off, and once we see this character in a new environment where their personality shines, it'll have a bigger impact her own character being humanized. So I like that.

Okay, I think that's all I got. I improv wrote most of this; hopefully I won't be taken out of context since I don’t think that HS2′s writing should ultimately be a judgement of the writers as people, nor treated as if they should hold the same unhealthy work environment that Andrew forced himself to do when writing the og comic. And I'm still like, donating to the patreon and everything, lol.

[runs away]

edit: i was going to put the cw as another positive thing for the comic...but...yeaaaah.

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 4, Man on the Moon.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add, that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. To be honest, I am seeing a lot of the things I’m pointing out for the first time because I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. 

Man on the Moon

Tom Hopper’s workout routine. -1

What was Luther holding in his hand? A lighter? A toy? I can’t tell. It’s weird that they put something there at all. +1

Klaus knocked down the wall between his and Vanya’s rooms. That was the one thing in the house that said Vanya ever lived there and he destroyed it. +2

However, Klaus’s room looks really, really cool. Set designers, you win this one. -1

The bike. I have questions about that bike. When did Luther get it? Or did it belong to all the children? Sinning because no way Reggie would buy Luther a bike. Or give one to the children. +1

The shot following Luther directly gave me a bit of motion sickness. +1

Netflix subtitles have Reginald saying “Attention, Master Luther” when it is clearly Pogo. +1

“Mission alert” +1

Everyone else is gone! Luther has no backup. Reggie is a dick to Luther. +1

I know I should have mentioned this in the last episode, but Reggie put five young children in leather catsuits. Potentially six, but we never see Five in one. And he still makes Luther wear it as an adult! +6

Luther never leaves the house and keeps going on missions for Reggie because of a sense of responsibility. I can understand that. -1

However, Reggie was the one who fostered that in Luther. He made Luther think that he was responsible for saving the city, when in reality that’s up to law enforcement officers. +3

Why didn’t Luther go to a real hospital? Did Reggie take him home? How did Luther end up back in the Academy after that mission? +1

Was Luther dead? Reggie feels for his pulse and says “dammit”. Did the ape serum bring him back to life? +1

How long was Luther on that table? We see him with a beard in episode one, but it isn’t as crazy as this one. Also, does Luther bleach his hair now, or what? I am confused by Luther now being a brunette with impressive facial hair. +1

Tom Hopper nails ‘dawning horror and shock at now being an ape’. -1

Pop goes the weasel. +1

Who wound that box and placed it there? And why? The only other people there are Reggie, Grace, and Pogo. No way they did something so cruel and juvenile after permanently disfiguring him. +1

The umbrella the monkey-in-the-box suddenly has the title when it didn’t earlier. +1

“There’s something you have to see”. Yes Allison, continue to be vague. I’m sure Luther will appreciate it. Why not “I think the assassins killed Mom. Come take a look.” Is it because that would have been too logical? +1

Luther is still calling her “Grace”. +1

“Poor Diego. I mean this is gonna be so hard on him”. Choke on that irony, everyone. +1

 “I don’t wanna discuss it”. This family. Allison said the same thing about Claire moments before telling Luther everything. Parallels. +1

Vanya spent the night at Leonard’s house. Sigh. +1

“For one day I’ll think you’ll be fine”. What makes you think that, Leonard? +1

Vanya takes one sip of her coffee and never touches it again. Leonard doesn’t even drink his. What is the point of the damn coffee? +1

“When I was a kid I felt like I had to apologize for even breathing.” Reggie is a dick. +7

“I don’t think my Dad ever forgave me for being born” foreshadowing patricide. +1

Vanya and Leonard talk in front of the Icarus Theatre. Comics fans, you know why that’s significant. +1

Helen doesn’t acknowledge Vanya’s greeting like a normal human being. +1

People are already tuning, Vanya! Get your ass in the theatre so you can do the same! +1

Leonard is stupidly charming. I hate that he’s sort of likable, but it makes sense for what they’re using him for. +1

The kidnapping of Klaus Hargreeves. +4

Klaus is too kinky to tourture. -1

Where is that blood on his chest coming from? +1

Ten hours of tourture! Fuck you show for making Klaus go though that. +10

 “He’s a freak like his brother”. Which one? You met Luther and Diego. And they presumably know Five through the Commission. But which one is the freak into kinky shit? Diego? +1

“Remember Trinidad”. Noodle incident. (if you don’t know what that is google Noodle incident TV Tropes)+1

This motel has a surprising amount of towels in the bathroom. Some of the nicer places I’ve stayed don’t have that many. +1

Patch lives in house 204. “2” and “4”. Hmmm. +1

Does Diego show up on Patch’s doorstep being emo often? +1

Why is she still thinking about the 1938 fingerprint? We know that it’s plausible because of Five, but the police department should have thrown that out. It doesn’t make any sense and fingerprints can be alike. +1

She mentions the 30s cold case and Diego starts to look up in recognition. Even if he doesn’t know about the Commission or the Apocalypse, he does know about Five’s ability to time travel. He even mentions “The Boy”. Diego thinks that it was Five based on the fingerprint and his examination of the two crime scenes. -1

“For once, just try things my way”. Foreshadowing. +1

Diego hasn’t bothered to clean up the blood on his face from last night. Weirdo. +1

Allison is already forming a plan to kick Leonard’s ass the moment she sees his silhouette. Good. -1

Also, not the first time the audience has seen Leonard creeping around. Remember when he stole the journal? +1

Allison takes him down easy. Character moment showing that her superhero training hasn’t left her. Also, Allison is a badass. -1

Allison sees right through Leonard. This scene is excellent. -1

Lance has a really cute dog. -1

After seeing the shady deal while tailing Meritech, Five decides to tail Lance instead of just watching the building. Good job, Five. -1

How do you bill insurance companies for fake things? You need an insurance ID or SSN to have a patient. Where does Lance get these fake numbers from? +1

Why are eyeballs such a hot commodity? +1

“Names and numbers and I need it NOW” Five is scary. -1

Five jumped into the seatbelt. Did his powers secure it for him? +1

Five has a really organized desk. I wish I could read what he labeled the binders. +1

Luther decided to search Five’s room for clues. Pogo would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

For all we make fun of Diego’s stupid outfit, just remember, comics Diego has an even stupider one. This is the stupidity turned down. +1

The labels are now upside down on the binders when they were right side up in the last shot. +1

Either Five was a really good artist, or Reggie let Five have a poster above his bed that didn’t feature the academy. No explanation is given. +1

Five’s wallpaper depicts a boy pulling a mannequin in a wagon. -1

Luther punches a hole in Five’s wardrobe. This is never mentioned again. +1 

“When you watch those nature shows does it turn you on?” Diego is a dick. +1

If you look really closely, you can see something that looks suspiciously like the ending to Apocalypse suite in Five’s room as a piece of art taped to the wall. I checked with the comics. It looks very, very similar. -1

There are two cylindrical things on the wall. One on Five’s wall and one we can see through the doorway on the wall across from Five’s room. What is it? Nightlight? Loudspeaker? Alarm? +1

Ben Hargreeves enters the chat. -1

“Stay calm, Klaus” stay calm. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha spent over 10 hours beating the crap out of Klaus but they didn’t think of the training manual, something Cha Cha clearly has memorized, until now. +1

When did they grab his coat? Klaus was wearing nothing but a towel. Did Hazel decide to grab it on a whim? +1

“Asthma medication”. Klaus is still coherent enough to come up with an okay lie after 10 hours of tourture. +1

“Amputee hookers”. Nice call back to the comics. -1

Hazel and Cha Cha don’t hear Klaus say “not until they're high as kites” when responding to Ben. +1

“Klaus, be strong”. Ben’s facial expression was really weird with this line. +1

Klaus cracks after 10 hours of tourture while going through withdrawal. Impressive. -1

The multi-screen effects look really cool. -1

Watching Hazel and Cha Cha burn down Meritech while high as kites amuses me. -1

Watching this later while knowing that Meritech doesn’t really matter means that I don’t really care about this building. I wish there was something to make this more interesting instead of just making the eye a red herring. Leonard hasn’t lost an eye yet, so it doesn’t matter. +1

What were Hazel and Cha Cha dancing to in universe? Was this song playing on the radio or something?? +1

Luther goes through the door that’s too small for him because he’s Number One and Diego goes through the door that would actually accommodate Luther’s size. +1

Vanya’s book should be way more beat up than that if it survived the literal apocalypse with Five for 45 years. The ink looks too fresh, too. Unless this is another, newer copy of Extra Ordinary? Sin for confusion. +1

Five got way too close to that explosion. Five survives this without injury. +1

We see him lying amongst the shrapnel for crying out loud! +1

Gossip magazines. “We’re doing fine!” +1

Tween Hit is still a popular magazine seventeen years later. -1

“Vanya, she’s gone” is the vaguest wording ever. +1

However, Vanya understands this. Sin on the writers. +1

“It was those psychopaths last night” weird delivery. Allison’s tone is off. +1

Does Vanya not have any students other than Leonard? She’s perfectly free on some random afternoon so she can have a drink with Allison. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha coming down from their high. -1

Cha Cha hates doughnuts. +1

Reginald Hargreeves put his eight year old son in what amounted to a tourture chamber so he would stop being afraid. Reggie is a dick. +8

Why is Ben stuck in the closet with Klaus? +1

The cleaning lady (her name is Claudia, according to a card she leaves) has one of her ears uncovered. She totally would have been able to hear him. +1

Callback to the screw Hazel threw away to remind the audience that it’s important. -1

Ben’s whiny bullshit. Now is not the time, asshole. +2

We know why the dog ear is important, but why would Patch? At this point it’s a random piece of fabric that might look like something she saw on surveillance footage (Cha Cha’s mask). Point is, that could be something from Meritech and not necessarily urgent. +1

Patch gets the message intended for Five about Klaus. When Diego thinks that the missing brother is Five and that’s who he meant when he was talking to her. Choke on that irony and miscommunication. +1

This show is shot like a comic book and I love it. -1

“That’s what you do when you’re 17” in this specific circumstance, yes. In others, not so much. You don’t have to leave when you’re 17. +1

Luther calls out Diego for not being a real grown up while also not being a real grown up himself. +1

Diego asks “You ever even been with a girl”. Diego is a dick. +1

“We’re orphans again, dude”. When were you ever orphans? Sin for the writers for writing this or to Reggie for making them believe that they were regular orphans he adopted legitimately instead of buying. +1

“Do you ever stop talking. Wow that was easy.” I wheezed.-1

Five is drunk in the library with Dolores with equations scribbled all over the place. No one stopped him when he started writing on the walls in sharpie. +1

Five has two bottles of hard liquor with him. +2

 “Drunk as a skunk” +1

The comedic timing of Five’s hand letting go of the bottle. -1

“Jerk off on your Mr. Snuggles teddy bear”. First of all, eww. Second of all, yeah, Vanya these are all valid points she’s making. You just met this dude! +1

“But sometimes men are unredeemable shits” yeah. Sin for men and for the fact that Vanya doesn’t know this. +1

“Yay sisters” -1

What are Allison and Vanya drinking? Seriously, what are their drinks of choice? It looks like Vanya has something like a gin and tonic or a vodka soda and Allison has a rum and coke, but I can’t really tell. This is a sin until I know for sure. +1

That is a lot of extra blood on Klaus with no explanation. +1

Draw Ben like one of your French girls, Klaus. -1

“Is your brother here now.” “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific on that” -1

Ben’s wink. -1

Reggie is a dick to his adopted children. +7

Torturing a literal child and calling it training. +4

Reggie, you dramatic bitch. +1

Warrants exist for a reason, Patch. +1

Also, Patch decides to follow Diego’s shitty advice without any backup. +1

Drunk Five being carried bridal style by Luther. Aidan Gallagher being carried bridal style by Tom Hopper. -1

“I’m going through puberty. Twice.” Sucks to be you. +2

You had two bottles, Five. And you somehow didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. +2

Diego’s face. -1

Aidan Gallagher doesn’t play drunk very well. To be fair, he’s never been drunk (or at least I hope he hasn’t), but it’s still a sin. +1

“You know I hate code names”, okay Spaceboy. +1

“I’m the four frickin horsemen” or Gabriel’s horn. -1

“You haven’t been this sober since you were a teenager, since you decided to keep the ghosts at bay”. I hate the delivery on this last line, but to be fair to Justin Min, it was a shitty line in the first place. Sin for delivery and for the writers. Also, gee Ben, I thought he was just doing drugs to be contrary. +2

Zoya Popova is so underrated. I love her. -1

Ben’s lil smile. -1

Vanya’s apartment is so warm and nice with all the lights on, but this is the only time we get to see it that way. When she is on good terms with Allison. Lighting cues. -1

Allison, you’re too tall to fit in Vanya’s sweatpants. They’d be sweat capris. +1

Have I mentioned how much I love Allison’s jacket in this episode yet? Because I really like it. -1

Creepy flowers are creepy. +1

“She knows it was a misunderstanding”  Allison’s face all but says. “Do I?”. Emmy Raver-Lampman rules. -1

Also, Vanya speaks for Allison. +1

This is where they decide to show just how much of a creep Leonard is. Well done, show. -1

Leonard is a creepy, manipulative little bastard. +1

Sin off for the gory sfx makeup in this episode. The ghosts look brutal! -1

Syd the tow truck driver is back. Too bad he’s dead. +1

The dead cheerleader is disturbing. +1

This episode sort of confirms the headcanon that Klaus can speak/understand many languages. -1

The gore on Klaus keeps changing. +1

The switch in camera angles shows the shift in point of views, hence why the ghosts disappear. Clever. -1

Ben voice: Nicely done. -1

Patch waited a pretty long time. How long was the walk from the library to thy gym? +1

Chair scoot. Klaus is smart. -1

Klaus gives himself a concussion. Sinning because he had to give himself more trauma to escape from touture. +1

Claudia gives Patch the key to the room without question and then runs.+1

Klaus is coherent enough to think to hide in the vent. Klaus is a smart cookie. -1

The death of Detective Eudora Patch. +1

The Klaus theme -1

Kenny’s mom appearance! Her hat and jacket have matching flowers that also match her pants. Cute. -1

Klaus’s wink. -1

Kenny’s mom definitely saw a lot more of Klaus than what was already on display. +1

Time traveling briefcase! -1

Kenny’s mom looks for Klaus under the seat. What??? +1

Diego gives Dolores a chair. How nice of him. -1

Diego’s Prime 8s poster. If you know, you know. -1

Aidan Gallager sucks at pretending to sleep. +1

“You throw another one of those goddamn knives at me, I’m pressing charges”. I love Al. -1

It was a half hour walk from the library to the gym. Patch waited a really long time. +1

Now you remember Klaus after you found Five, who wasn’t really in any danger. +1

The little pat Luther gives Dolores. -1

Diego takes his gloves off. It’s like he wants to get framed. +1

This scene is really emotional and made me cry the first time I saw it. +1

David Castaneda is a really good actor. -1

The fridging of Detective Eudora Patch. +100

Overall Review:

This episode starts off on a really high note. I follow Tom Hopper on Instagram. He’s really fit. There is no denying that. I also appreciated the way he played Luther this episode. The scene where Luther realizes what his body looks like was heartbreaking to watch and really well acted. 

Speaking of heartbreaking to watch, the fridging of Detective Patch pisses me off. For those who don’t know, “Fridging” is when a female character is hurt or killed in some way in order to move a man’s story/emotional development forward. Considering that Patch’s death is what starts Diego’s character development, I would say that this applies. I am genuinely disappointed in the writers for doing this to Patch. I think it’s been established that I respect Patch. She doesn’t take any shit and she follows her moral compass. That is her real character. She only screws up when it comes to Diego and this is no different. She decided to be reckless like him and paid the ultimate price. However, this is completely out of character. Based on what we’re shown, Patch should have brought up her suspicions to Beeman (the other detective) and went from there. But instead, she had to die. That injustice done to her character is what deserves 100 sins. The show really dropped the ball with this one. 

Moving on, Vanya and Allison have some really good interaction in this episode. I think it’s a little weird how quickly Vanya forgave Allison after the shit she said last episode. Diego and Allison treated Vanya like a fragile object, which is what led her to Leonard. To be fair, Vanya was pretty stupid that last episode when she didn’t run away, but that doesn’t excuse what Diego said and Allison agreed with. Overall, the yay sisters thing was a good, but sus moment. 

Next, Klaus and Ben. Almost everything Ben said in this episode pissed me off. The “that’s the real tourture” speech was awful. For all the fandom loves him, Ben is a prick. However, Ben was also able to keep Klaus calm and encouraged him to control his power over the many, many ghosts in the room. So it’s kind of a wash for me this episode. I hope season 2 explores more of his character and why he would choose to say something so awful while his brother is being literally tortured. 

As for the main plot, Five’s only lead, not that it really matters yet, has been destroyed. Hazel and Cha Cha realize that they’re going to end the world if they complete their mission. And Leonard has finally been revealed to be a creep who wants something to do with Vanya’s pills. On a rewatch, we know why that’s significant, but a first time viewer would be confused in a good way. The show wants the audience to ask: Why? Vanya’s pills have been there for important moments up until this point. And now there are being forcibly taken out of the equation. Why?

Total: 193

Sentence: Getting drunk in the library with your mannequin wife while trying to do math. 

[meetmeatthecoda]

opinion time

okay. i watched the ep. for some reason. and like. it was dumb. i didn’t enjoy it at all, i was bored, it was stupid. (my opinion).

cause like. first of all. ressler has been portrayed as high and mighty and proud and by-the-book since the literal pilot. and maybe like one (1) time per season they give him a Hard Choice™ and he gets more than 2 basic lines per ep to have a small mental crisis and then we move on. but he has always been portrayed as such. that’s where all of his one dimensional character conflict comes from. that’s literally the only source. well, aside from audrey and we know what happened to her. 

so. what. what was the point of introducing his troubled youth with a covered-up crime that supposedly led to his being a cop?? and he said he’s been running from this his whole life?? since when?? i get that they have to write some things and invent some “background” sometimes but i at least expected it to be consistent with what little we know of him as a character. i think the last time he had a conflict like this was way back in season 1 with mako whatever-it-was-called and since then?? i have not seen any distinctive proof or reason as to why i should give any shits at all about ressler as a character. and all this iMPoRtaNt BaCKstOrY did nothing to make me care about him. nothing.

(also, sidenote: why tf did they name them ‘donny’ and ‘robbie’? AND cast the RED-HAIRED kid as a young anthony michael hall?? i spent the whole ep wondering who was who, i literally had them backwards for half of the fucking ep. and honestly, it would have made more sense for the young red-head to be our ressler bc he was studying for the academy literally since the first scene we saw him in this ep. i mean, that’s why i thought HE was ressler. i assumed the characterization would be consistent and make sense. but ressler was the dark-haired one?? [since when does a dark-haired kid grow red hair??] and he shot the dirty cop?? and that’s why he became a cop?? i call bullshit. it doesn’t make sense to me. i was confused. but whatever.)

ANYWAY i liked that he went to liz for help. and liz went out of her way to help him. and got rid of the damning evidence. she’s a good partner and ressler’s helped her out more than enough times to warrant it. i thought that was great. i was a little scared of that last scene - bc of what kind of shipper i am and how little i trust the writers - but it turned out fine. and it actually started off super cute!! i’ve always liked a bro & sis vibe for them, and i loved liz calling him a “knucklehead” and a “dipstick”, closing agnes’ door and picking up her toys and folding a blanket and being domestic, that was freaking adorable. i love that vibe for them, just like playfully arguing, havin’ each other’s backs, ready to spill the tea whenever. like, uncle don?? yeah. i love that. i’ve never shipped them. i think they have 0 chemistry. (another opinion). so, the scene kinda derailed after that once liz started turning the whole thing around to her own personal disaster (was not expecting that, since it was a ressler-centric ep and everything). and then she completely went off the rails poo-pooing red (another post to follow on that y’all, i’m seething) and she declared ressler is her only source of sanity???? what??? where did that come from?? they’re partners, buds, friends, and - i know i’m biased - but i would call RED her “tiny island of calm” or whatever tf she spewed. i just thought that was way outta left field. like, i get having an Emotional Moment™ once every 87 seasons and reassuring the audiences that they are emotionally close as well as have a solid working relationship and saying like, “i was happy 2 help u out, ur my bruh, things would be pretty boring without ya so i had 2 save ur butt, ya know, whatever”. like, that’s the vibe i was expecting. not the all-of-a-sudden, emotionally-unstable, declaration-of-devotion-for-someone-she-barely-talks-to crap. idk. i just thought it was all kinda random. but at least they didn’t kiss. but, i don’t ship them for all the tea in china so i’m biased. and annoyed. but whatever those are my thoughts, thanks for coming to my ted talk ✌️

[gyakutengagotoku]

GS4 vs AJ:AA - Episode 3, Part 2

Good, I’m not having problems with tumblr this time.

This one’s a bit on the shorter end, which I notice goes for many day 1 trials in cases with more than one trial day, but I can still find plenty of things to share, comment, and explain as always! Like with the previous episode, most of the bulk of work was from the introductions and initial setting.

While the previous one, I could squeal over Yakuza references and all that jazz, this one’s more for Klavier’s fans and classic rock junkies out there. I enjoy the occasional taste of rock too, but sorry, I’m forever a Eurobeat gal.

Oh, if only there were a future AA case about street racing... You just know that Edgeworth would be on that case. He’s probably the only prosecutor (besides maybe Klavier) who can make a sick drift and would know a thing or two about cars. Too bad for the car-less defense attorneys at the Wright Anything Agency, though.

--

> Courtroom

> 1st Witness Testimony, press 1st statement

<Apollo> “なくした”っていう発想は ないのかな。 Isn't it possible he simply misplaced them?

<Klavier> “なくした”で済むか！ Misplaced them!?

カギはその後、死体の手に ニギられていたんだぞ！ Misplaced items don't just wander into a murder victim's hand on their own!

<Judge> な。なんですって‥‥！ そ。それでは‥‥ What's this!? Prosecutor Gavin, if your keys were in the victim's hand...

ハンニンはあなた自身ということに なるではないですかッ！ That makes you a prime suspect!

<Klavier> ‥‥♪　“遅効性の恋は アトロキニーネ”‥‥ ..."Love, slow-acting and new. Atroquinine... is waiting for you..."

<Trucy> ハナウタ、歌ってます。 He's singing something.

<Apollo> 大物だよな。なんにしても。 Does everything with this guy have to be so over-the-top?

Just wanna share lyrics. The original line, taken literally, is "Slow-acting love [is like] Atroquinine", but it's so vague that it can be reworded many ways, since it’s a song lyric.

> Press 4th statement

<Klavier> 部屋から脱出できる出口は、 あの通気口だけだった！ That air vent was the only way out of the room!

そして、そこには、 被告人の指紋が残っていた！ The defendant's fingerprints were found on the grill!

‥‥さあ、おデコくん！ ...Well, Herr Forehead?

ここから、キミは どんな“物語”を想像するかい？ What fairy tale does this suggest to you?

<Apollo> ぐ‥‥ッ！ Urk...!

<Klavier> ‥‥ちなみに。その通気口‥‥ Only one could pass through that vent, that "doorway to heaven"...

“天国のトビラ”をくぐることが できたのは‥‥その妖精だけ、さ。 ...and that one is our pixie.

Another song reference, but instead of a "Stairway to Heaven", it's a vent-way.

I've been watching way too much Among Us lately... but this episode from back in 2007 seems suspiciously related to a 2018 game, somehow.

> Finish pressing, present any evidence

<Apollo> 検察側の主張をくつがえす‥‥ これが、その証拠品です！ This evidence does more than contradict, it flips the whole case on its head!

<Judge> ‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ......

<Klavier> どうやら、ぼくの言った通り。 ハッキリとした“反証”のようだね。 Thank you for presenting evidence that is both clear and plain, as requested.

<Judge> たしかに‥‥ ハッキリ“ちがう”と分かります！ Yes... Clearly and plainly wrong!

その証拠品で、検察側の主張を くつがえすことはできません！ I'm afraid the only thing flipped on its head here was you as a child, Mr. Justice.

<Apollo> （うう‥‥ちがったのか‥‥） (Ugh... I guess that wasn't it.)

Savage, Your Honor! The original line seems a bit disappointing in comparison: "This evidence doesn't overturn the prosecution's case at all!" That said, it does give me an idea for where the "flip on its head" phrasing came from.

> Select "no proof"

<Apollo> 反証のジュンビは‥‥ あ、ありません。 I... don't have contradicting proof, actually.

<Judge> そうですか。 それでは、さっさと判決を‥‥ Too bad. Very well, this court finds the defendant...

<Hold it!>

<Trucy> ま、待ってください！ W-Waaait!

<Judge> な、なんですか。 Wh-What for?

<Trucy> 弁護側には‥‥えーと。 は、“はんしょー”でしたっけ？ We have, uh, what was it called? Contradictual proof?

と、とにかく！ ジュンビがありますッ！ Anyway, whatever it is, we've got it!

Meanwhile, I think this line from Trucy seems a bit out of place when "contradicting proof" isn't a very difficult phrase to say. Maybe they could have thrown in something sillier like "contradicting poof- I mean, proof!" and it'd work pretty well. In JP, she's still learning her words and especially kanji, so she usually pronounces words correctly, but doesn't write them out in the text.

I like to think that whenever Odoroki speaks and uses phrases that she isn't as familiar with, she actually breaks the fourth wall and takes notes on his textboxes. Hey, learning from your peers is a great way to study! Learning Japanese with your fave Ace Attorney characters is even better.

> Ask for new witness

<Apollo> 牙琉検事‥‥ まちがいありませんか？ Prosecutor Gavin, you claim that there were no witnesses to this crime.

『この事件に、 　目撃者はいなかった』‥‥ Are you absolutely sure?

<Klavier> マチガイないね。‥‥誓ってもいい。 この検事生命と‥‥ Absolutely. I'd swear it on my career as a prosecutor...

１００万枚を売り上げた��ット曲、 《恋のアトロキニーネ》にかけて。 And on my million-seller hit song "Atroquinine, My Love".

<Trucy> ‥‥さりげなく ジマンされちゃいましたね。 ...There he goes again.

<Apollo> ザンネンながら‥‥ この事件には、目撃者がいたのです。 That's too bad, because there was a witness.

Minor tweaking to song titles again. It was "Atroquinine of Love" before.

> 2nd Witness Testimony, present at 3rd statement, Perceive at 6th statement but point wrongly

<Apollo> あなたのココロの動き‥‥ オレには分かるんですよ。 You may have seen the world, but I've seen your heart.

あなたは、今の証言をするとき、 動揺していましたね！ You were flustered during your testimony just now!

<Lamiroir> ‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ......

<Lamiroir> あなたの言っていることが、 よく分からないのですが‥‥ I do not understand what it is you are saying.

それは、日本語のジョーク か何かですか？　さっぱりです。 Perhaps this is a joke, in your culture?

Making a note here about culture: It's characteristic of Japanese that since they have so many homophones and alike-sounding words or phrases, it's fairly simple to come up with puns out of the blue. You hear it all the time with Japanese comedians and writers who just can't help themselves and have to throw in a pun here or there. And because they can show up so suddenly, it can catch the audience off-guard, so they're more likely to appreciate the humor.

Relatively speaking, of course; as with any language, there are also those kinds of puns that are super obvious and cringy when delivered. As a language buff myself, I'm still fascinated with what goes into creating puns in the first place, whether or not they're cringy or clever.

> Present evidence to Lamiroir's contradiction to her own testimony

<Apollo> そして、こうも証言しました。 事件については“何も見ていない” Furthermore, you testified that you had "seen nothing".

<Lamiroir> ‥‥！ ...!

<Apollo> お分かりですね‥‥ レタス氏が“撃たれた”ことを‥‥ Yet you knew that Mr. LeTouse had been shot!

あなたが、 知っているはずがないのです！ How could you have known!?

<Lamiroir> ！　‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ...!

<Lamiroir> きゃあああああああああああッッ！ Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooowrk!

<Judge> ラミロアさん！ Lamiroir!

‥‥あなた、まさか。 何かをかくしているのでは‥‥ You aren't hiding something from this court, I hope!

<Lamiroir> ‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ......

<Apollo> （ラミロアさんはウソをついた‥‥ 　ゼッタイに何かを隠している！） (That sweet song of hers was sounding a little too sweet!)

So, I'm not sure why Lamiroir's cries were localized to this. It sounds like something so out of place from someone whose voice is so beautiful and melodic usually. Maybe that was the point? Like, it's a subtle nod to sudden record-scratches or sudden cuts in a piece of music?

Fyi, Odoroki's last line here was simply: "(Lamiroir-san was lying... She has to be hiding something!)"

> Press newest (7th) statement

<Apollo> ほんの少ししか見ていないのに、 よく“弾痕”だと分かりましたね。 Only a glimpse, yet you knew they were bullet holes?

<Lamiroir> ‥‥‥‥ええ。 一目で分かりましたわ。 Yes. I recognized them immediately.

以前にも、銃の弾痕を、 見たことがありますから‥‥。 I have seen bullet holes before, you know.

<Klavier> アナタは歌い手として、 世界中を回られていますからね。 You have traveled the world as a singer...

この国よりも治安の悪い地域で、 歌われることもあるでしょう。 You must have sung in places far more dangerous than our country.

<Lamiroir> わたくしの歌が必要とされるならば、 どこにでも行かせていただきますわ。 I go wherever my voice is needed. Those places... are many, these days.

<Trucy> かっこいいですね！　ラミロアさん。 みぬきも、いつかは海外に出たいな。 That's really cool! I hope I get to travel like Lamiroir some day.

<Klavier> ぼくも、レコーディングは 海外ですると決めていますよ。 I plan on recording my next album overseas.

むこうのスタジオは、 音のヌケがちがいますからね。 Their studios have a different sound, you know.

<Apollo> （へえ‥‥それは、発声練習にも 　良さそうだな‥‥） (Hmm. Maybe I should go on a Chords of Steel tour, too.)

And this last line is totally different. "(Huh... it sounds like they'd be great for vocal training too...)"

("Far more dangerous", huh... Maybe she previously had a tour in the Republic of Zheng Fa... and maybe the Kingdom of Khura'in too.)

> 3rd Witness Testimony, finish pressing, select "There's a problem"

> 4th Witness Testimony

<Apollo> （すっかり忘れていた‥‥ 　オレの知らないところで‥‥） (I admit, I'd forgotten about the song...)

（そんなトンでもないオチが 　ついていたなんて！） (But there it is now, waiting for me... the grand finale, as it were.)

<Trucy> あ！　それに最初に気がついたの、 みぬきですからね、みぬき！ Hey! You know I was the one who first noticed that!

<Judge> “歌詞”に合わせて殺人など‥‥ I've heard of jumping rope to songs, and counting to songs...

“かぞえ歌”と“手まり歌”だけの 世界だと思っていました！ ...But killing!?

<Klavier> 世界は、おジイさんが 思っていたより広い、ってコトだね。 It's a wild world out there, Herr Judge.

<Judge> それでは！ Very well!

この、ナゾの歌を踏まえた上で、 尋問をおねがいします！ We've heard one song and dance, let's get on to the next: the cross-examination!

<Apollo> （ベツに、歌にはナゾはないと 　思うけど‥‥） (I'm not so sure I'm going to be doing much singing...)

By the way, "手まり歌" (temari uta) is roughly like playing handball to a song. A temari is a ball of usually extra kimono cloth wrapped together with fabric. Over Japanese history, it went from a handmade toy to embroidery art. Link to Wikipedia.

Also, "Wild World" is a 1971 hit song by Cat Stevens too. With all the talk of songs, I figured the loc team might have been able to slip in a subtle nod.

Last couple lines there: "Let's build on this mystery song and begin the cross-examination!" "(I don't think the song itself is the mystery here, though...)"

10/21/20 edit: Ash has enlightened me to one of Takumi’s inspirations. Like Agatha Christie’s And There Was None and Van Dine’s The Bishop Murder Case, where a murder seems to follow a nursery rhyme, a classic Japanese mystery novel by Seishi Yokomizo, Akuma no Temari Uta, is a murder mystery that follows the rhymes of a song.

And now looking into his works, I just realized this man is also the legend who wrote the iconic private eye Kosuke Kindaichi. Yeah, the same guy who’s said to be the grandfather to the MC of the Kindaichi Case Files manga, by Yozaburo Kanari. What a small world we live in, after all.

> Press 1st statement

<Klavier> なかなか悪くないじゃないか、 刑事クン。イイ声してるよ。 Bravo, Fräulein Detective. Your singing... it's not bad.

‥‥そして、最後のパート。 Now, for the finale!

“Ｇｕｉｔａｒ，Ｇｕｉｔａｒ‥‥ 　ふたりは空へ” "Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky."

この歌詞の通り、 盗まれたレタス氏の死体は‥‥ As it says in the lyrics, Mr. LeTouse...

“空高く”そびえるステージ の上で発見された。 ...was found with a guitar, high in the "sky" over the stage.

どうだい？　これだけ一致してたら。 もう偶然とはいえないさ。 No series of coincidences could be so well conceived!

<Ema> ‥‥カガク的に言ってもね。 He's right. ...Scientifically speaking.

<Apollo> （‥‥一体、 　なんのコンサートだよ‥‥） (What would Wocky have said? ..."That concert was wack.")

<Trucy> あんな風に気持ち良さそうに 歌われたら、反論できませんね‥‥ It's hard to argue when she pours her heart into it like that.

<Ema> ‥‥えーと。と、とにかく！ 犯人は‥‥ Ah, er, ahem! Anyway, the shooter...

Aw, I really wish I could have actually heard Ema sing... or at least hear her textbox beeps change in tone to the music. That would be a bit of extra coding work, though.

By the way, Odoroki was talking about: "(...What kind of concert was this supposed to be...?)"

> Press 4th statement again

<Ema> おそらく、犯人と被害者の距離は、 ２メートルもなかったはずです。 Furthermore, there was no more than five feet between shooter and victim.

これは、ハズすほうが ムズカシイぐらいの距離です。 Hard to miss at that distance.

<Trucy> でも、マキさんは、 目が不自由だったから‥‥ But, Machi can't see...

<Ema> おそらく、“音”と“気配”に たよって、撃った‥‥ He would have had to use sound and other senses to aim...

だから、ハズれたのでしょう。 ...and miss.

<Klavier> ‥‥部屋には大音量で ぼくたちのナンバーが流れていた。 And our music was blaring over the room monitor.

音を聞くには、 不利な状況だったと言えるよ。 Not the best circumstances for aiming by sound.

<Ema> だから‥‥ハンニンは、 目が見えなかった人物‥‥ Which makes it very likely that the shooter was blind.

<Klavier> これが、検察側の主張だよ‥‥ Thus the prosecution's position.

<Ema> うーん！　やっぱり、 カガク的説明って気持ちいいわね！ Ahh! Nothing like a scientific explanation to get the blood pumping!

<Apollo> （今は、 　まったく同意できないよ‥‥） (Why's mine frozen in my veins, then...?)

It was just "(I can't agree with that sentiment at all...)" but I also wanted to make a joke about about "Apopsico".

> Press 5th statement

<Apollo> か、歌詞になぞらえた殺人だって、 じゅうぶん、非カガク的です！ What's so scientific about a murder to lyrics!?

<Ema> 何よ！　それぐらい‥‥カガクで 解明できるに決まってるでしょ！ Lyrics can be explained scientifically!

<Ema> カガクを甘く見ると‥‥ ケガするわよッ！ ...Never underestimate the power of science!

<Apollo> （うわ！　指紋検出粉のビンを、 　ふりかぶりながら言うなよ‥‥） (Put that bottle of finger- printing powder down before you hurt someone, like me!)

じゃ、じゃあ！ 解明してみせてくださいよ！ OK, then explain it! Scientifically!

<Ema> ‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ......

まあ。それには、まだデータが 足りないかな‥‥ I require more data.

<Apollo> （なんだよ、それ！） (Hah! Likely story...)

"(What kind of weak excuse is that!?)"

> Press 6th statement

<Ema> そのことは、楽屋にいた全員に 知らされていました。 Everyone backstage was told about the maintenance.

だから‥‥当然。 マキさんも知っていた。 ...Including Machi Tobaye.

キャタツをのぼれば‥‥そこに、 “脱出口”がある、と‥‥ He would have known that there would be a way out at the top of that stepladder.

<Apollo> そ、そんな‥‥！ 今、初めて聞きましたよ！ But that's... Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this!?

<Klavier> ‥‥なぜ、あんなところに キャタツがあったか‥‥ You could have figured it out for yourself.

それを考えれば、 カンタンにわかると思うけどね。 You only needed to consider what that stepladder was doing there.

<Judge> ‥‥どうやら、弁護人の異議は、 キャタツに押しつぶされたようです。 ...Looks like the defense's objection has been squished by a stepladder.

<Klavier> どうかな？　おデコくん‥‥ Well, Herr Forehead?

もう、この証人の主張を ひっくり返す武器はないのかい？ Out of ammunition, perhaps?

<Apollo> （‥‥なんだ？　この、牙琉検事の 　挑戦的なタイド） (I've never seen Prosecutor Gavin so... so aggressive!)

（なんか、“不自然”な気が‥‥） (Maybe he's caught the scent of blood...)

That last line has gotten a bit more dressing to it. It went "(Maybe he's caught onto something 'unnatural'...)"

> Accept the prosecution's challenge, but present wrongly

<Judge> ‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ ......

<Judge> その証拠品に、検察側の主張を 崩すチカラがあるとは思えません。 I'm not sure that overturns anything, Mr. Justice.

<Apollo> （うう。ちがったのか‥‥） (Ugh. Wrong evidence, I'm guessing...)

<Klavier> オドロキ・イズ・ブラインド‥‥ 何も見えてないのは、キミだったね。 Apparently both love... and Justice are blind.

<Apollo> （考えるんだ！ 　何でもいい‥‥何かないのか！） (I have to think! There must be something... anything!)

"Odoroki Is Blind... Seems like you're the one who can't see anything."

(I capitalized that because Kyouya said it in English.)

> Present photo of crime, point out the contradiction, Klavier takes the lead

<Klavier> ‥‥お楽しみはこれからだよ。 おデコくん。 This is where the real fun begins, Herr Forehead!

<Apollo> ぎゃああああああああああああああ あああッ！ Yeeeeaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggh!

<Klavier> ‥‥さすがに、ヒトが悪かったかな。 I knew you didn't have what it took.

<Ema> サイテーです！ You... You jerk!

あたし、ナニしに来たか わからないじゃないですか！ Just what was I in here for? Comic relief!?

<Trucy> そうですよ！　あやまりなさい！ Yeah! Apologize!

<Klavier> はっはっはっ。 いやいや、ごめんね。 Ah ha ha. Oh, sorry!

<Trucy> なんですかそれ！ ちゃんとアタマさげる！ That's no way to apologize!

<Apollo> （やれやれ‥‥タイヘンな騒ぎに 　なっちまったな） (He's angered the Trucy now. Look out...)

"(Oh boy... This trial has turned into one huge ruckus.)"

> Point out reason why Machi had to pretend to be blind (or not, it continues either way)

> 5th Witness Testimony, press 1st statement

<Apollo> どうして見えなくなったのかも、 分からないのですね‥‥ So, you don't know why you went blind?

<Lamiroir> ‥‥その通りです。 ...I do not.

もしかすると、生まれつき 見えなかったのかもしれませんわ。 I may have been born this way, in fact.

<Klavier> ‥‥彼女の過去について、 余計なセンサクは無用だよ。 ...It's fruitless to attempt to pry into her past.

これは、きわめてデリケートな モンダイだからね‥‥ And, I might add, it's a delicate subject.

<Judge> 弁護人にデリケートを期待するのは、 少々ムリがありますからな。 I'm not sure we can reasonably expect Mr. Justice to do anything delicately.

<Apollo> （シツレイな‥‥ 　たしかにあまり自信はないけど） (Hey! Why I oughta... take a deep breath and calm down.)

"(Hey... though I actually don't have much confidence about that either.)"

> Press 5th statement

<Judge> 《もくげきしゃ‥‥めがみ》 でしたかな。 "The witness... siren"?

何度も聞かされましたぞ。 弁護人の、迫真のモノマネつきで。 We've heard them many times. Along with a little play-acting by our defense.

<Klavier> 最後のコトバは、死神にノドを つかまれて、闇に消えてしまった。 I remember them well myself, but that statement is not to what I refer.

‥‥あのコトバには、 “つづき”があったんだよ。 I mean what he said before that.

<Apollo> “つづき”‥‥ （“めがみ”につづくコトバ‥‥） ...Before? (What came before that...?)

あッ！ Ack!

<Klavier> ‥‥そう。レタス氏は、 こう言おうとしていたんだよ。 ...That's right. He tried to tell you.

《事件のことは、目撃者に聞け。 　ただし‥‥その証人は‥‥》 When he said "can't see" he wasn't talking about himself.

《“目が見えないぞ”》 ‥‥ってね。 He was talking about the witness!

<Judge> めがみ‥‥えない‥‥ “目が見えない”ですか‥‥ッ！ I see!

<Klavier> “目が見えない”のは、 ラミロアさんだけではなかったねえ。 Too bad the defense did not.

どうだい？　おデコくん。 Well, Herr Forehead?

少しは落ち着いて、モノゴトを よく“見て”みたらどうかな。 Try relaxing and "looking" at the facts first next time.

<Apollo> ‥‥ぐうッ！ ...Urk!

For this entry, it's entirely a matter of how LeTouse's last words had to be translated. The original Japanese script didn't leave a lot for him, and there were places where it was quite ambiguous. As it turns out, he wasn't saying "megami", as in "Goddess", but "me ga mienai", as in "unable to see".

"It was... 'The witness... Megami', if I recall. We've heard them many times, with a little play-acting by our defense." "His final words, just before Death clasped on his throat and he was consumed by darkness. ...Those words had something 'following' them." "('Following'... 'Megami'...?) Ah!" "...That's right. This is what LeTouse-san was telling you: 'Ask the witness about the incident. However... that witness...' 'cannot see.' "Megami... enai... You mean, 'me ga mienai'...!?" "Though, it wasn't just Lamiroir-san who 'didn't see'."

> Finish pressing

<Judge> ‥‥ごくろうさまでした、眉月刑事。 たいへん、参考になりました。 Thanks for looking into that for us, Detective Crescend. It's a great help.

<Daryan> いやいや。 かまいませんよ、裁判長さん。 Oh, no problem at all, Your Honor.

‥‥それじゃ、オレはこれで‥‥ ...I'll be heading out...

<Hold it!>

<Lamiroir> 待ってください‥‥！ Wait!

<Judge> ど。どうかしましたか？ ラミロアさん‥‥ La-Lamiroir! Is something the matter?

<Lamiroir> 今の、その声‥‥ That voice just now...

<Klavier> ダイアンが、なにか‥‥？ Daryan?

<Lamiroir> ミスター・ダイアン‥‥ というのですか。 Mr. Daryan, is it...?

‥‥‥‥‥‥彼、です。 まちがいありません。 ............ It was him. I am sure of it.

<Judge> “彼”‥‥なにが、ですかな‥‥？ It was "him"?

<Klavier> ‥‥ッ！　ま。まさか‥‥ Y-You aren't saying--!?

<Lamiroir> ２発の銃声を聞いたとき‥‥ レタスさんと話していた声‥‥ That voice I heard, talking to Mr. LeTouse... when I heard the gunshots fired.

そう。今の方です！ ミスター・ダイアン！ It was him! It was Mr. Daryan!

Just making a point here since I forgot to last post: Lamiroir and later Machi are the only ones who still call people using "Mr." in English, in the JP script. However, for the briefest moment here, she refers to Mr. LeTouse with the general -san suffix instead, and I don't think this was something that was simply overlooked, since the line immediately after, where she accuses Daryan/Daian, she goes back to using "Mr." Perhaps Lamiroir is getting more and more in-tune with her other language outside of Borginese?

--

...I'm still sticking to my Poland theory, but they could be like a mix of Poland, Hungary, Slovakia... around there in Eastern Europe.

[kuningannasansa]

A musketeers rewatch (that nobody asked for) 1x02

(very anti annamis, so if that bothers you steer clear :)

We open with Dartagnan preparing for a duel and declaring “I was raised to fight like a gentleman”. I thought he was a farmboy? I’m so confused.

“Every man for himself!” – lol! But also, is that what you were thinking when you decided to screw up everyone’s life with your dick Aramis?

Now Dartagnan has been arrested for illegal duelling. Which is fair and exactly what should happen. I mean, they should arrest that red guard too, ofc. But for all that the musketeers whine about their toys being banned by the nanny state, I think we can agree that laws banning duels were actually progressive and good?

Treville is MAAAAD!! Good!

“I’ve never been unpopular before” HA HA HAAA HAAAAA! You just wait a few seasons, honey.

Why do the extra background musketeers have period accurate clothing and ‘our heroes’ don’t? I mean, I get these leather getups are supposed to be sexy, but they don’t do it for me at all. I’d like realistic clothing more

Oh hey! It was all an act! I had legit forgotten! I am glad I’m doing this rewatch lol, there’s so much good stuff I’m experiencing again as if for the first time! Also, Treville is clearly a suppressed thespian!

Now Athos says Dartagnan is a farmboy again?????? I guess he’s a farmboy who was taught to fight like a gentleman for some reason

Aramis tells Porthos that he’s a terrible judge of character and he does like Aramis, so maybe that’s true…

Treville thinks Dartagnan’s life is worth the risk if he can uncover what the villain of the week is planning. I love my pragmatic dad!

Aramis says he loves violence in a woman. Well, I’m free to beat the shit out of him any time...

I was about to comment on the good old days when Anne had political acumen and cultivated a good public image by giving alms and grantign clemency to some prisoners. But then she told the governor of the prison that she would like to free all his charges and his face turned sour so maybe she always sucked at diplomacy? I’ll reserve judgement thou, I remember her as very clever and capable in season one.    

Prison Break: 1630 is looking good

Athos doesn’t have faith in Dartagnan to manage the mission. From his perspective it makes sense, but it still upsets me. 

Richelieu and Treville are working together on this one! Oh goodie!

Now this is the worst bit! Milady tells Richelieu she can get Dartagnan back by lying that she stabbed the guy in the last episode in self defence. And well… that does give people a valid reason to think that she lied about Thomas trying to rape her as well. For the record, I still believe her, her story remains constant throughout and she sticks by it even when she has absolutely no reason to lie. But this scene does give the haters a semi valid reason to doubt her and I hate that. And most importantly, this ambiguity in the text should not exist. The writers should have told us on screen one way or the other to avoid all this nasty discourse. Sometimes ambiguity is a wonderful device (cough*black sails final/*cough) but rape is not a topic that should be treated like that.    

Richelieu is turned on by her act thou. And slightly repulsed. By how turned on he is.

Milady is looking for Vadim on Richelieu’s orders! She’s on the same side as the musketeers, doing the same job (probably more successfully)! Watch them judge her anyway.

RICHELIEU WANTS FLOWERS!!

Oh no, Anne, don’t show Aramis affection! He’ll be stalking you for the rest of your life!

Porthos does not approve and neither do I.

Porthos reminds Aramis of Adelle lol. WRECK HIM PORTHOS!!

SUZETTE!!

Bonacieux is so very dumb, it’s delightful!

Milady just shot two of Richelieu’s red guards. Either she had his authorisation to do it when necessary or she just doesn’t give a fuck. I suspect the later.

Milady is promising Dartagnan riches and to introduce him to her “powerful patron” if he takes her to Vadim. Why? If Treville and Richelieu are cooperating on this why are their respective agents in the dark? Or perhaps RIchelieu is trying to catch Vadim on his own behind Treville’s back and get all the credit? Hehee

Athos is threatening to have Suzette whipped. And she tells him that it’s usually the other way around with musketeers, “but if the money’s right”. LMAO WRECK HIM!!

They are planning to use decoys at Easter mass to lure out Vadim and Anne says “the people know their King and Queen too well”. Do they, thou? They had wood cuttings back then not the fucking People Magazine. But I guess the plot hinges on the real royals going so whatever.

Louis: “My father never shirked public obligation” Richelieu: “Your father was assassinated”

“Common sense is for commoners” oh Louis! Listen to Richelieu!!

Richelieu says he may have misjudged, but I still think he’s right. I mean, politically speaking, it is good for people to see their King, not have him cowering behind castle walls while they are put in danger. But I still maintain those peasants would not be any wiser if they just sent decoys.

I like Vadim’s greed for money under a disguise of not entirely fake anti monarchism as a motivation. His plan is really clever too! Season 1 really had very good villains!

Richelieu in proper red cardinal’s robes! Me likey!

“Surrender or die!” lmao, as if they’re not going to hang him if he surrenders. I’d rather be shot, personally.

Milady kills Suzette. Okay, she was part of a conspiracy to rob the royal treasury so she would have been executed anyway, but I still don’t like it. Can we not kill all the cool female characters please?

Vadim’s death is beautifully shot, with him dropping treasure everywhere as he walks through the smoke. Cinematically very good!

Constance does not miss the quiet life! Bless!

So Milady lied to Richelieu and kept the Queen’s pendant she got from Suzette? But then that plot never went anywhere, as far as I remember. I know there were some cut Milady scenes in episodes 4 – 6 so I guess they decided to drop it, but I would have loved to see her have more agency independent of Richelieu as she pursues her own agenda.

Red Guards killed in the line of duty: 2 (let’s pour one out for them!) 

Women fridged: Suzette RIP!

Best Dressed: Louis and Anne (not an easy choice cause Constance and Milady also had some very nice dresses in this episode, but in the end I’m a trashy bitch who loves bling)  

[spnfanficpond]

May Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE MAY’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis 

The Things We Don’t Believe In by @thecleverdame 

This series has more drama than a soap opera! It’s an ABO Sam AU where the Winchesters own a huge company and are stupidly rich. Then Sam meets his true mate, who is working at a grungy bar as a bartender. Worlds collide, and not in a good way! This is a great story well told and everyone should read it!

What Lies Beneath by @thewhiterabbit42

It took me through most of my first reading of this one shot to figure out what’s going on (because I’m slow on the uptake, sometimes), but once I did... WOW! I had to go back and read it all again to appreciate it! No spoilers, but this is an awesome idea well executed and everyone should read it!!

On My Mind by @girl-next-door-writes 

This is SO CUTE!! I love me some flustered Sam, and this is cute, flustered Sam at his best. So freaking adorable!

Nominated by @risingphoenix761 

Blood in Bed by @slytherkins 

There aren’t nearly enough Drowley fics out there, and this one hasn’t gotten nearly the attention it deserves. Tara has a gift for snark, which is a must-have for writing Crowley, and she nails demon!Dean with smug, cocky finesse. A nice, cheeky, angsty look into what could have happened while they were howling at the moon, and an appropriately moody ending. I love the banter. I love the pining. I need more people to read this! 

Just a Bug by @impala-dreamer

This was a surprise, even with what I’ve come to expect from Beka. It’s short and sweet with a shot of blech and so fluffy. So fluffy!!

When In Rome by @slytherkins 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: there aren’t enough Drowley fics to be had. Which makes this one twice as satisfying! Tara nails Crowley being Crowley and it’s glorious, but what really blew me away here was Dean. Holy smokes! I didn’t know whether I wanted him to keep fighting or give in, his perception was so well handled. It would have been very easy to get something wrong with his character here, but that never happened. And read the warnings for sure… This one’s DARK.

Nominated by @emilyshurley 

Dear Dean by @purpleskiesandcherrypies 

I don’t have enough words to describe how much I adore this fic. At first i wasn’t sure if I would like a WWII story but I fell in love with how cute Bambi and Dean are together.

Nominated by @manawhaat

Dear Readers (drabble) by @atc74​

THESE. WORDS. ARE. SO. IMPORTANT.

This is not only a very believable letter to readers from Journalist!Jared, but it’s also something so JARED in character. The message, the sentiment, the way he’s so open with the fandom, how encouraging he is...all of that incredible shit that Jared is is echoed in this letter. It’s so well done and so beautifully honest. The message in this is so important, and I really hope that it can be shared so people can see it.

Lost In The World (drabble) by @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish

This is short and sweet and meaningful. Dad!Dean is always a thing that tugs at my heart strings, and the kind of hope and strength he portrays in this, even if it’s quiet and coupled with worry and uncertainty, is so Dean and so important for people struggling with mental illness. Finding hope, solace, and comfort in fanfiction is a powerful thing, and that light and support shines through in this sweet little gem! 

Insomnia (oneshot) by @rowdyhooliganism

This is one of the sexiest Benny fics, hell, one of THE sexiest fics I’ve read in a while. There’s wit and sass and an undeniable pull and tension between them. The heightened vamp senses and the way they play into this kills me. I’m a sucker for a big fucker and the way Benny is portrayed in this really showcases the big brute’s size. Seriously, it’s just fucking good so go read it okay?

Tell Sam (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

I’m a slut for dubcon, for rough!Winchesters, and this portrayal of purgatory!Dean really fucking delivers on so many levels. Rhi’s characterization is spot on, as always, and it all feels so dangerous and gritty. It’s painful and scary and heartbreaking and riveting and makes you feel guilty for wanting it so badly. 

Nominated by @fictionalabyss 

The Broom Is Not A Toy by @sorenmarie87 

When the idea for it hit me,  I was so happy to hand it off to her and see what she could do, and she didn’t disappoint with it. Adorable panda cubs refusing to let Dean just do his work? perfect. I really want to join in on the panda habitat fun now.

Love Shouldn’t Hurt by @sorenmarie87 

HEED THE WARNINGS. It’s a tough subject, the likes of which we don’t normally see from Dawn, but she did great with it. I had the pleasure of being her beta for this piece, and it not only came out fantastic, but really shows her growth as a writer.

You’re Mine by @coffee-obsessed-writer 

I happened across this one this morning and damn near died. It’s so well written and I’ve never wanted a dom!Jensen more in my life.

Nominated by @wi-deangirl77 

Standing Here by @plaidstiel-wormstache 

I want to nominate this fic by @plaidstiel-wormstache because she does something wonderful with the age old trope of someone pining for the person they can’t seem to have. It’s brilliantly written and incorporates the perfect song to encapsulate the theme of the fic. It’s all the angst, but it’s beautiful angst.

Nominated by @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish 

His Property (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr 

What can I say about this story other than it’s freaking amazing?! I binged the first five chapters before I got added to the tag list and as I said AMAZING! Love the way the characters are being written and the change in POVs is being handled beautifully! Keep up the fantastic work and I can’t wait to see where this story goes! 

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage 

Oh. My. Gosh. What can I say about this story except that I will be rereading it and reblogging it to explain just how much I love it. The first time I read it I truly forgot to hit reblog (because I am a horrible person) but I was so lost in the story and the intricate world that had been woven by dark queen Rhi that the real world kind of escaped me. Please accept my most humble apologies.

Check and Mate by @kittenofdoomage 

WOW! I’ve been on a dark!Sam kick lately so this story is perfection!! I loved everything about it, I don’t even think I could narrow it down to a favorite part, although, “bathe in the rivers of destruction” is a brilliant line!

Outside the Iron by @kittenofdoomage 

As I told Rhi “who gave you the right to give me this many feels?! I am not ok and was not expecting to feel this much so early in the morning, so, ya, thanks for that. But really, that was a freaking **work of art** and I loved every word of it! She is a freaking genius writer and everything she writes gives me some kind of feels.

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy 

What doesn’t this fic have?  mob fic (a personal favorite of mine)? check. most genres of fan fic? check. a kick butt reader that I dream of being? check. spot on characterization? check. Basically a recipe for an amazing story, which it is!

You’re Mine by @coffee-obsessed-writer 

This was so good in oh so many ways! Love me some Dom!Jensen and this story is great as a stand alone or a great intro to a (mini) series. Not sure what the author has in mind but I am happy either way.

The Mobster’s Girl (series) by @fictionalabyss 

I have been following this series for a long time and have loved seeing the journey of the reader and Sam, both separately and together. I think my personal favorite would be the original Mobster’s Girl set, seeing Sam try to win her over, and then eventually just exert himself as the mobster he is was fantastic.

Songs of a Caged Bird by @manawhaat 

I love a good twisted Winchesters story and Mana did a fan-freakin-tastic job of portraying the boys as twisted while still keeping them in character. Her portrayal of them just felt so spot on to me and I just adore this fic!

The Moonlight ‘Verse (series) by @thecleverdame [link is to George’s masterlist where you can find the links to all of the parts)

So many good stories in this 'verse but A History of Violence Parts 1 & 2 are my two favorites because everybody gets a little bit sassy and that’s always fun! The characters and the settings are very well written and I enjoy reading anything written by George!

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[ryik-the-writer]

Chapter 21 - The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

[A03]

Chapter 1: Pan meets a Wendy Chapter 2: Scars (Felix’s Story) Chapter 3: Day One Chapter 4: Revenge and Fireflies Chapter 5: Brighter than Stars Chapter 6: filler: The Tigress Chapter 7: Operation Spotless! Chapter 8: Operation Spotless: Reporters Down Chapter 9: A Dance with the Devil Chapter 10: filler: Felix and the Pancake Chapter 11: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 1 Chapter 12: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 2 Chapter 13: The Girl With Blue Eyes: Underground Chapter 14. Recovery Chapter 14.2 Recovery some more Chapter 15: Trapped Chapter 16: Filth Chapter 17: Fairydust pt. 1 Chapter 18: Fairydust pt. 2 Chapter 19: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 1 Chapter 20: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 2

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I began writing Papers and Sleuthers just after OUAT 3B aired.

I was already frustrated after the show severely underused the Peter Pan characters and ultimately threw them away. I knew I wanted to write something, but I couldn’t grasp just what.

Then one day, I was dozing in the back seat of my aunt’s car and saw a missing poster for a dalmatian, and my humble little fic was born.

By season 4, I was starting college and was hit with a terrifying apprehension for the future to the point where I considered abandoning writing altogether.

While I did put a pin in several stories, I never could turn away from P&S. I don’t really know why; maybe because I was starving for more fics with these characters; maybe I was hiding from my problems in the ones of these characters.

I conceived Revenge and Fireflies while I was studying for a French exam; popped out the end of Operation: Spotless during my first Christmas break; cried through Wendy’s fight with Edward and her father in Reporters Down, and after a year and a half long hiatus, I finally got to write Pan’s more human side when he reconnected with Belle in The Girl with Blue Eyes

Now, my 23, freshly graduated from college, and once again I’m that scared writer-wanna-be who must beg their selves to function.

P&S has been with me through a portion of my life when I was ecstatic with the idea of the future and loathed it at the same time.

I can’t end it—I just can’t. It’s in my bones. A shitty fic conceived from a shitty show. But I want to keep it going for as long as possible. As long as I keep going. Even if it takes years.

Anyway, here’s Papers and Sleuthers.

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Yesterday

Wendy was furious with him, and Pan was enjoying the shit out of it.

Toying with Wendy’s sanity was becoming a much-enjoyed habit for Pan, he concluded. He kept her disgusted with him enough that she kept her distance—kept her self safe from the filth of him—but just close enough that he could revel in her misery.

He had to think of his self, didn’t he?

But his reveling was cut short by the ringing of his cell phone.

Duty calls. Probably Glass calling to bitch about putting an unapproved story in the morning paper.

Just another day in Storybrooke.

But when he saw the name on the screen, he felt a twinge of panic.

Just a twinge—Peter Pan was always collected—except when he wasn’t.

Wendy began yelling at him again as he answered, and between her yelling and the person on the phone, he couldn’t make out a word anyone was saying.

Thus he threw off his bedcovers to send Wendy into a temporary state of shock, smothering a bark of laughter at her pink face. From the corner of his eye he could see August—who for some damn reason had helped himself to his coffee AND favorite mug.

“Alright, repeat that.” Pan asserted with a slight smirk.

“Pan this is bad this is so bad oh my god this is so bad!”

“Astrid, slow down.” Pan demanded over the phone.

“Pan, Mother Superior…she’s…she’s dead!”

Pan felt the coldness in his blood slowly freeze into hard crystals.

“What? When?”

“This morning!” Astrid sobbed. “Pan…I…I’m so scared!”

Pan managed not to turn to Wendy, though he desperately wanted to.

He needed to see her eyes.

This whole thing could be pure coincidence. The holy terror could have finally met her end and died in her sleep…but there were no such things as coincidences, not in Storybrooke and not mere hours after Pan had run her in the dirt using Wendy’s name.

“Damn…”

“Pan!”

“Yeah, sorry for swearing, whatever. I’ll be there soon.” He hung up before he could get her response.

Had he stayed on the line just a second longer, he could have caught the tail-end of her worry, and subsequently, her confession.

“It was an accident Pan! I was only trying to get her to admit what she did! I just want my freedom! I didn’t mean for anything to happen to her! Pan? Pan…”

 0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 It wasn’t until the icy wind of the cold November night hit Wendy in the face that the exact caliber of what they were about to do sank in:

They were going after Mother Superior’s probable killer. A girl—according to Pan—was as much of a victim in all this as Wendy was, as any of the nuns from the convent were.

Victim or not, Pan was willing to scapegoat Astrid…for her.

Wendy’s stomach twisted in guilt. No, no matter if she was guilty or not, she couldn’t allow that poor girl to go to jail, not without all the facts.

Her mind started racing for someway to just…slow everything down. What would they do if they found her? Would they call the police? Or would Pan set the entire town on fire just to help her get away?

She peaked up from Pan’s shoulder and could just catch the corner of his eye. What was he going to do? And what was she going to do to stop him?

They were around the corner from the convent when Pan came to a screaming halt, cursing ‘shit!’ as Wendy’s nails dug into his abs to prevent from getting thrown into the asphalt.

“The hell. Pan!” she hissed. He shushed her instantly, pulling her from the moped and ducking behind a bush. Wendy pushed the hair from her face and saw the pulsing of police lights just at the entrance of the convent.

“Fuck!” Pan hissed. “Double fucking hell!”

“Do they have her?” Wendy whispered.

“No, doesn’t look like it.” Pan responded. “Graham must have figured it out! That dirty bloodhound!”

Wendy shook her head, trying to calculate their next move—should they need one at all.

If Astrid were caught and confessed, Wendy’s name would be cleared.

But there was something else going on, something Pan was once again not letting her in on.

Whoever this ‘Astrid’ was, she meant enough to Pan that he was running after her, and Wendy sensed it was not for the sole purpose of clearing Wendy’s name.

He said he helped her before, and however he did so may have caused their predicament with the dead head nun.

The police must have thought so as well if they were at the convent.

They watched as Deputy Nolan exited the front door, saying something to Graham that caused him to send a command into his walkie-talkie.

Pan nudged her arm. “We have to go.”

“Where?” she whispered as she helped him roll his moped a quiet distance away.

“If Astrid’s not at the convent, there’s one other place she might be, but we need to get there before Graham and his pack do.”

Wendy nodded and jumped on the back of the moped as Pan hurriedly started it up, holding on for dear life as he drove them into uncertainty.

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 She hadn’t seen the docks yet, Wendy realized as Pan eased into the eerily quiet area.

It was strange, after a month and a half of pure trauma, she thought she saw all Storybrooke had to offer. Yet there was this massive and important part of the town she’d just looked over.

A part that apparently was harboring a possible killer.

Just on the edge of a very rickety boardwalk was a small boat with a barely visible light flickering inside, the only light on the entire dock.

“Why are we here?” Wendy whispered, lowering the flashlight on her cellphone to its lowest setting.

“In that boat is a man named Leroy Miner,” Pan explained. “He’s been Astrid’s secret lover for about four years now.”

Wendy blinked at the reveal and awaited its significance to their plight.

“She planned to elope with him several years ago, but Mother Superior stopped them, and incited a dash of blackmail with Leroy to add to the pot.”

Wendy nodded, releasing a knowing breath. It was a motive for murder, but why would Astrid wait so long to go through with it? She hardly seemed like a cold-blooded killer. Did it simply take her several years of being pushed to her limit, of not being with the man she loved, to finally set her off?

Or maybe she hadn’t been the one to be set off at all?

“Do you think this Leroy man had something to do with Mother Superior’s murder?” Wendy inquired. She could just see the outline of Pan’s face in the dark.

“I plan to find out,” Pan growled, rushing up to the boat. Wendy scurried after him.

“It could be dangerous! What if this Leroy man has a gun?”

Pan scoffed. “When have either one of us ever been intimidated by a gun?”

A brief flash of Cruella’s black and white hair struck Wendy’s mind and she went very quiet.

Unperturbed, Pan stepped onto the boat’s step, ready to bang on the door and demand Astrid’s whereabouts.

“Get the fuck away from that door Pan!”

Wendy shot around, shining her light on a squinting Tink.

“Watch it!” she hollered, blinking in irritation.

Pan jumped off the stepped. “The hell are you doing here!” he hissed, monitoring his tone in case he alerted the occupants of the boat.

She was going to ruin everything.

“I could ask you the same thing you little shit!” Tink spat, her own flashlight shaking in her hands. “But I believe I already know the answer to that.” She glanced around him to glare at Wendy. “Trying to get part two of your little fuckfest?”

Wendy swallowed a large lump in her throat. She knew Tink’s anger was misguided, but it still hurt to be so rawly despised by the truest friend she had in town.

Oddly, it was her worst enemy who stepped in front of her, shielding her from the ex-nun’s fire.

“You’re going to feel like a total jackass when this is all over,” Pan stated. “But for now I need you to shut the hell up an leave before you blow this whole thing.”

“Oh kiss a rattle snake Pan! I’ve been doing our own investigation. And I know what you’re about to do!”

“You mean trying to save a technically innocent woman from going to jail?”

“From framing her in the first place!” Tink yelled. “You’re trying to pin this on her and I won’t allow it!”

“Pin it?” Pan scoffed. “I know good and damn well she had something to do with it!”

“You’re here to stir up trouble like you always do! You’re going to mess her up just like you did Wendy!”

Wendy winced, and from the corner of her eye she could see lights of homes flickering on in the distance.

“Perhaps we should move this somewhere else?” Wendy called out in concern.

“Why would we do that! This is perfect! I’m so glad we can have this conversation out in the fucking open!” Pan howled, the sound loud and violent enough to wake half of Storybrooke.

And the occupants of Leory’s boat.

Through the curtained windows Wendy could see a fluster of movement and just the faintest clatter of glass. The string of movement traveled to the door until it slung open, revealing a stalky man in a wifebeater holding a baseball bat.

“You better have one hell of a reason to—” the man lowered his bat when he saw Pan glaring stolidly at him, a wide-eyed Wendy ducking just behind him.

“Pan?” he barked.

“Leroy.” Pan spat.

“Tink?”

“Not now Leroy!” Tink yelled.

“Oh for God’s sake!” he exclaimed.

“Leroy!” came a squeaky, much more feminine voice behind him.

The commotion stopped, and Wendy peeked behind Pan’s shoulder as Leroy muttered a hasty apology to the person, catching a glimpse of the itchy fabric the nuns had to wear as skirts.

“Astrid?” Tink inquired hopefully.

A small sound came from behind Leroy and in a moment the young murder suspect revealed herself.

The two nuns eyed each other for a moment, each taking in their distinctions. Astrid’s overly-ironed uniform that clung to her like a straightjacket. Tink’s messy updo and rugged jeans, ripped at the seams from constant wears.

One was caged. The other was free.

Yet they both were still wearing their own pair of shackles.

“Astrid,” Tink greeted with a wet smile. “I…”

“I was going to call you!” Astrid blurted out, her hands twitching. “Afterwards…when…” she glanced at Leroy.

Tink nodded, the worry resurfacing in her eyes.

“Please tell me what happened.” Tink begged. “The sisters said you disappeared sometime this morning, after Mother Superior…” Tink shook her head, her gaze landing on a sole overstuffed bag just beside the couch. Astrid had literally packed everything she owned.

Wendy heard talking from a distance, and knew they were seconds away from having a run-in with Graham.

“Like I said, let’s move this,” Wendy commanded.

Pan gave Leroy a dark look, and with a grumble he stepped aside to allow the three into his crowded boat.

But then, there was total silence. Everyone was staring at each other, unsure of who to trust, who would turn out to be the real enemy.

Wendy wanted this all to end so bad, but the only way it would be so was if the woman in front of her somehow confessed to Mother Superior’s murder. And that, no matter the consequence for her, is not what she wanted.

Wendy met the timid eyes, earnestly begging her to say something. The poor woman sensed her plea, and her fingers weaved nervously through her starchy skirt.

“I…I…” Astrid hesitated from behind the solidly-built man in front of her.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Leroy insisted.

Pan made a rush at the nun, stepping right up to her and avoiding Leroy’s ready bat.

“Astrid,” he said calmly, his fingers twitching to reach out and grab her. “You need to tell us what happened.”

“Don’t answer him sweetie!” Leroy warned. “It’s a trap! Look what they did to Mother Superior!”

“It wasn’t like that!” Wendy cut in.

“Sure it wasn’t!” Leroy snarled. “You’re just the one who wrote the story! How many more lives do you want to ruin tonight?”

Wendy locked her jaw to prevent herself from yelling at this man. He was only defending Astrid, she knew, but she was about damn tired of people jumping to conclusions about her.

Much to her curiosity it was Pan who stepped forward and got into the stalky man’s face.

“How about you shut up and let us settle this before someone else ends up dead?” he warned, low and frightening enough that Wendy’s throat in apprehension.

“Do not threaten him!” Tink warned, stepping between Leroy and Pan.

Pan gritted his teeth, wanting to scream at her to go away. She was going to ruin everything! But he saw the rawness in her light brown eyes. She didn’t hate him; Tink didn’t have that kind of bitterness in her soul, even towards him.

And there was something else there, something he hadn’t seen even when she was being pulled out of Jekyll’s morgue drawers.

Fear.

Fear for Astrid, fear for the a future without her wicked mother.

“Yesterday you escorted Wendy into Mother Superior’s office, right?” he inquired more softly.

“Y…yes.” Astrid admitted.

“Astrid, be careful.” Leroy warned.

“But you didn’t leave them? You hung back, heard a few things?”

“No!” Astrid defended earnestly. “I mean…I did hear the beginning of the conversation, but I left,” she nodded, as if trying to convince herself.

“What did you hear,” Wendy asked.

“Just…” Astrid fidgeted. “Who you were and that she upset your friend. But I left after that I swear!”

Wendy nodded, remember the bits of the conversation.

“But you didn’t stay away for long, did you?” Pan pressed, and Wendy turned to see the lifelessness in his eyes. Gone was the gamemaster who had his target corner. All that was left was a guilty man who had to make the strenuous decision of turning over the culprit and letting an innocent person take the fall if he didn’t.

“When did you go back?” Wendy continued.

“Later,” Astrid continued, and Leroy led her to the bruised couch. “I saw you,” she said to Wendy. “I saw you break in…but I recognized you from earlier, so I hesitated to call the police…I just… didn’t.” she looked back to Pan. “Then I saw you. You were running, and I thought something was wrong.”

Wendy glanced at Pan, forgotten aggravation over yesterday’s interference resurfacing. Though Pan didn’t return her look, she could feel the cockiness radiating just under his skin.

With a smothered roll of her eyes, she replayed her confrontation with Mother Superior in bouts. Her coming across the half cross, confront the head nun on it and nearly losing her hand when she took the cross back. And then, of course, Pan making his grand entrance and stealing her thunder, though to his credit his presence did cause her to finally admit what she did to Tink.

Wendy rubbed her temple. If she had just looked over her shoulder, she might have seen Astrid, might have prevented all of this.

“You heard everything,” Wendy concluded. “Mother Superior’s confession, and her promise to deny everything.”

Astrid slowly closed her eyes, the guilt written all over her face.

“Astrid,” Pan growled. “Whatever you saw or did after we left will determine what’s going to happen next. To you, to Tink,” he barely nudged Wendy’s way. “And even to her.”

The young nun’s head shot up, meeting Wendy’s dull gaze. Wendy gasped at the wounded look in her eyes, and knew in a single moment that no matter what happened after tonight, whether she came forward or not, she couldn’t hate her.

All she could see in that moment was Tink leaning into Felix’s arms as she struggled not to fall apart.

She’s always doing this.

Surrogate, but just barely.

Make it stop.

She wasn’t looking at a crazed vengeful murderer. She was looking at an abuse survivor.

And whether she had anything to do with Mother Superior’s death or not, she didn’t deserve any of the backlash from it.

Wendy went looking for the truth to give Tink some well-deserved closure. It was more than apparent to her now that Astrid deserved the same.

“Wait…” Wendy sighed, ready to end the whole mess when there was a loud bang on the door.

“Shit!” Leroy yelled, raising his bat. Astrid gasped and pressed herself into the corner.

“Leroy, open the door!” came Graham’s brogue.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Pan hissed.

Wendy gasped as Tink shot past her to run to Nova. If Graham came through, it was over for both of them.

The young journalist gulped, her mind readying a very stupid idea that would either save her or endanger all of them.

“Is there a back door?” Wendy whispered to Leroy.

The stout man’s face lit with realization. “Yes, and there’s a supply shed just down the docks. She can stay there until I get these pests out of here.”

Wendy nodded. “Astrid, come with me.”

“I’m coming too,” Tink announced, stashing Astrid’s bag in a small cupboard.

“We’ll all go,” Pan added, looking out one of the back blinds. “All clear.”

Graham knocked on the door again and Leroy called out to keep him occupied while the four of them quietly left through the back.

Wendy could here someone walking around on top of the boat, no doubt looking for evidence for Astrid’s arrival. Up a head a flashlight was hovering about, and Pan grabbed her by the collar to keep her from walking out into it.

As soon as it lifted, the four of them quietly sprinted towards the direction of the shed, all worried that if they looked back they’d be caught for sure.

Pan struggled to get the rusty door open, the friction causing the metal to scream in protest, giving away their position. He did manage to get it open just enough for them all the slip in, the overwhelming smell of salt filling their lungs as Pan closed them in.

Wendy brought out her cellphone, the dim light barely adding illumination to the dark room.

“Watch your step,” Pan warned, pulling out his own cellphone to aid her. “One false move and you’ll fall into the water.

“Thanks for the tip,” Wendy deadpanned as Tink added her phone light as well.

They managed to find overturned barrels to sit on while they waited, using the cracks in the walls to watch the police raid from a far.

Tink had Astrid nestled close to her side, protecting her from the elements—and worse—the two people in the room who wanted her to talk.

Wendy squinted at Pan, his emotions disjointed from the light. What were they going to do, she asked with her eyes.

I’m working on it, he said with his own.

“I…I had to have proof.”

Wendy turned to a mousy Astrid. “Proof? Proof of what?”

“Remember what Leroy said,” Tink jumped in, glaring at Wendy, “You don’t have to say anything.”

 “No, no I do,” Astrid gasped, pulling herself from her surrogate sister’s loving embrace. “I-I-I need to let this out. I need to confess to what I did.”

“Hold it,” growled Tink as she jumped up and stalked over to Pan. He barely had time to raise his eyebrows before Tink lifted him by his collar and began groping his pockets.

 “The shit Tink!” Pan yelled, swatting her hands away.

 Tink pushed him back harshly against the barrel. “Just had to be sure you weren’t recording this,” she snarled. “Rule one, right?”

 “Rule two, actually,” Pan growled.

 With Pan checked, Tink nodded to Astrid, giving her her blessing to continue.

 Wendy rolled past him, anxious to hear Astrid’s truth.

 “You were there that night, weren’t you?” Wendy gasped, searching her eyes in the weak light.

“I was…returning from Leroy’s,” she said with a shy smile. “And my room is right near Mother Superior’s office.”

Wendy watched as her hands wrung nervously in her skirt.

“So you heard me talking to her?” Wendy pressed carefully.

“Yeah…” Astrid sighed. “I heard…everything.” She glanced to Tink, tears in her eyes. “Tink I’m so sorry!”

Tink shook her head, though her face was as blank as a fresh coat of paint.

“So then, what, you stuffed pills down her throat?”

“Pan!” Tink warned.

“I’m just trying to wrap this up.” Pan shrugged.

“You know good and damn well she didn’t kill her, Pan!” Tink fought.  “Why the hell are you trying to in this on her?”

Pan glanced Astrid’s way and clenched his teeth when she didn’t meet his eyes. He brushed past Tink and Wendy and sat right in front of her, making their knees touch to keep her attention.

“You heard what she did, and couldn’t take it, so you went into her office and drugged her up.”

“No!” Astrid gasped.

“Or maybe you waited until she drugged herself up and slipped some more in?” Pan shrugged. “She have a nice cup of tea before she croaked?”

Tink grabbed his shoulder. “Pan I’m fucking warning you?”

“Or maybe you walked in at the right time?” he smiled cruelly. “Maybe she already overdosed and you made sure she didn’t come back from it.”

“No!” Astrid sobbed. “I would never do something like that, I couldn’t!”

“Yes you can I know you can! I watched you—”

Before he could finish his accusation, someone grabbed him by the collar and pulled him around. In a second he was on the rotting wood, his nose aching and bloody, his head spinning from the adrenaline of it all.

A shout followed next.

And then a thud of something heavy hitting the ground.

The lights danced from the confusion, and for a moment Pan was surrounded by blackness.

Yet somehow it was nearly as terrifying as it should have been.

He smirked, the feeling of blood on his fingers expected but still a unrequited surprise.

He reached across the floor to grab his phone, using the light to illuminate his attacker’s bloody, clenched wrist, and then her face, ready to congratulate Tink on finally getting it all out of her system.

His smile faded some when he saw it was actually Wendy, her eyes bloodshot from unshed tears, her breath labored.

Pan took in a shaky breath, squashing his instinct to fight back.

She needed this. He wanted her to have it.

“I just went to get proof.”

 Pan glanced up at Astrid. “Proof of what? What the hell did you take?”

 “I’m guessing that,” Wendy answered, nodding just behind Tink and Astrid.

 Tink followed her gaze and the sight of the familiar lusterless metal stilled the air in her lungs.

 Astrid hurried to the object, cradling it to her chest.

 “She was asleep when I went in, so I searched for anything to prove what she did. Paperwork or something, but I found this instead.”

 Tink reached out and took the object, the other half of her begotten cross.

 Pan stood, wiping his nose as he addressed the hurting woman.

 “I was going to send it to you later, but I wanted to keep it in case she…”

 “In case she what?” inquired Wendy.

 Astrid looked absolutely miserable. “I…I was planning on leaving the convent for a long time. Leroy finally fixed the engine in his boat and we were going to leave,” she smiled fondly. “We were finally leaving this place.” Astrid shook her head—there was no time for sentimentals. “So, I searched her drawers until I found that, and I was going to call her as soon as I was out of Storybrooke to tell her what I knew.”

 “So that she wouldn’t come after you,” Pan muttered.

 “Exactly,” Astrid concluded wetly. “And—and I swear she was breathing when I left! She was just sleeping! I swear…I don’t know what happened after I left.”

 Tink wrapped her arms around her from behind.

 “Don’t.” Tink breathed. “Don’t say anymore. I believe you. I get it.”

 Wendy gulped, stepping forward in hopes of comforting both of them.

 This is all my fault.

 “Don’t!” Tink sobbed. “Just stay away from me,”

 Astrid pulled away from Tink, holding her hands up in defense.

 “No, Tink she didn’t do any of this!” Astrid proclaimed. “She told Mother Superior she would let her tell you everything.”

 Tink glanced at Wendy, disbelief glassing over her eyes.

 “But you published it anyway,” she said quietly. “You published her filth for the entire town to see.”

 “No she didn’t,” Astrid jumped in before Wendy could defend herself. “She wanted to give you two a chance. Even Pan said—”

 “Pan?” Tink questioned. “What the hell does he have to…”

 Wendy gulped when the realization blossomed in her eyes.

 Pan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was fucked.

 “You did this.” Tink said, not as a question but as a fact. “This was all you…” she paused, her lips twitching until her body shook with rusty laughter.

 “Oh my god of course this was you!” she laughed, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You…you do shit like this all the time!”

 “Tink—”

 “You take…” she breathed in a shaky breath of stale air and limped up to Pan, inches from his stoic face. “Innocent people…their lives…everything they love…and you crush it!”

 Pan remained still, even as the spit flew from her mouth and hit him.

 Let her have this.

 “I trusted you,” Tink cried. “I forgave you even after everything! After you let the psychopath lock me in a fucking drawer!”

 Pan flinched, but kept his gaze with the spitting ex-nun.

 “But why?” Tink gasped. “Why me? Why hurt me like this? Why her!” she motioned to Wendy. “Do you have any idea the things I said to her because of you?”

 Wendy wiped the tears from her cheeks and willed herself to speak for Pan.

 “He wasn’t trying to hurt you Tink—”

 “You stay out of this!” Tink yelled at her. “This is still on you as much as him!”

 “Oh please,” Pan snorted. “She’s doesn’t have the gall to pull something like this.”

 “To ruin lives?” Tink laughed. She glanced briefly at Wendy and nodded. “That much I believe.”

 “This was never to hurt you Tink,” Pan sighed. “This was to take that bitch down once and for all. Wendy just stumbled on the perfect gateway.”

 “Oh please,” Wendy gagged. “You invited yourself to my investigation.”

 “If I hadn’t showed up she would have knocked your ass out and nailed you to a cross.”

 “Sacrilegious much?” Wendy snarked.

 Astrid shook her head. “But who killed her then?”

 Wendy and Pan looked at each other, both wishing they had some kind of answer.

 Tink moved past them and slumped exhaustedly on her barrel.

 “Maybe it really was an accident,” Tink shrugged. “Maybe she took too much Vitacin and…” her shoulders began to quake. “went to sleep.”

 Astrid was by her side in an instant, consoling her friend and releasing her own sorrows.

 Pan stood back, dumbfounded and sobbing women before him.

 All he could see was Felix running after the devil nun as she dragged Tink away…begging her to let her go.

 To set her free.

 “You’re hurting her!”

 “Why!” Pan yelled at them, starling even Wendy.

 “Why are you crying over that bitch? She hurt you both! She hurt so many others! And you shed tears over her? Why? Why aren’t you celebrating?”

 Please thank me. I did this for you.

 “She was my mother, Pan!” Tink screamed.

 “Oh why the hell does that matter now!” he spat.

 “Because if I had found out from her rather than reading it in the fucking paper, maybe we could have a chance?”

 “Chance at what?”

 “To forgive!” Tink cried. “To begin again. To…something.”

 Something.

 Why was it always ‘something’?

 “Now…I’ll never have that.” She rested her head on her clasped hands. Like she was praying.

 To what?

 “I’ll never know what it’s like to have a mom who truly loves me. If she were alive…if I knew everything…I might have had a chance then.”

 Tink’s word cut Wendy to her core. When she first came to Storybrooke she was terrified of losing her mother. Even as she proved victorious in her fight with cancer, that god-awful fear refused to stop chewing at her brain.

 Through the fear there was an intense love that made the cells in her bones sing. Her mother always had her back, always protected from her the ostracizing voices around her.

 The very idea of anyone—especially Tink—not having that, and never having, broke Wendy’s spirit.

 “Tink, I’m so sorry,” Wendy said. Sorry for the investigation. For Tink’s lost youth. Even for Mother Superior and the crater of emotion her death had left on her begotten daughter.

 Pan tensed.

 Not you too. Please Wendy don’t.

 “Well this sob fest isn’t getting us anywhere,” Pan exclaimed. “We need to come up with a plan. Astrid says Mother Superior was still alive when she met. That either means someone finished her off or it really was an accident.”

 “Then let’s just turn ourselves over,” Wendy suggested. “Astrid had nothing to do with Mother Superior’s death, and neither did we.”

 Pan rolled his eyes. “That watchdog will get us for everything else but murder. Breaking and entering, evading the police, knocking out a doctor and stealing an autopsy report—”

 “Half of that is on you!” Wendy shouted at him.

 “Technically you broke into the convent on your own, I just followed you in,” Pan winked.

 “On your suggestion!” Wendy fought.

 “This all started because you couldn’t mind your own damn business!”

 “I was trying to help my friend! What have you done good lately!”

 Before he could fire back, the door to the shed opened with a rusted scream.

 “Astrid!”

 The three gathered around the scared nun, using their bodies as barriers between her and the intruder.

 “Astrid your safe!”

 The three let out a strained breath of relief as Leroy’s stalky body bounded through the shed and took hold of Astrid’s freezing hands.

 “It’s over, they know what happened to Mother Superior! You’re not a suspect any more!”

 “What?” Pan exclaimed.

 Leroy turned to him but his eyes stopped on Tink, his wide thankful grin vanishing at her tear-stained face.

 “Oh Tink.”

 “What is it Leroy,” Pan ordered.

 Wendy watched in uncertainty as the man stumbled for words, for a way to spare Tink from the pain she didn’t deserve.

 However, there were times when one needed to just be…blunt.

 “Tink, they found a suicide note.”

                                                                                                 0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 Wendy rubbed her eyes, exhaustion sinking into her bones. She gasped when she looked at the overhead clock in Graham’s office: 8:30 p.m. This day seemed to be lasting forever.

 Across the room Pan was still wiping dried blood from his bruised nose. Wendy wondered if he felt guilty at all, if he would show any change at all from the experience.

 Then again, she wondered the same thing after the de Vil incident as well as the Jekyll one. He was still cold, and reckless, and illusive.

 Through the glass window she could see Leroy and Astrid standing, looking utterly relieved. Tink was in the other office with Deputy Nolan giving her own statement.

 Wendy couldn’t help but smile. They’d all been to hell and back, but it was all almost over. Astrid and Leroy could begin their lives anew, and Wendy could work on earning Tink’s trust back. She was indirectly responsible for her grief, and as much as she hated to admit it, Pan was right about her busy-bodiness. She shouldn’t have done any of this without Tink’s blessing.

 However, Tink would have closure now, even if forgiveness was a long way off.

 Graham finally walked them to the door, but Astrid looked over her shoulder, smiling brightly at Wendy. The young journalist could see years of stress melt off her face.

 Thank you, she seemed to say.

 “Good,” Wendy sighed, relaxing in her seat. “Good,”

 Graham returned shortly and the two journalists were faced with a new mystery: how were they going to be punished for their various crimes.

 “I should lock both of you up,” Graham said. “This has been a day from hell.”

 “Glad we could add some excitement in your pointless life,” Pan smirked.

 “Shut it!” Graham warned, and though Pan’s smirk didn’t fade he became blessedly quiet.

 “Then…just what are you going to do to us?” Wendy inquired tentatively.

 “Shut up rookie!” Pan hissed. “Never show fear, rule six!”

 “You both shut up!”

 Wendy and Pan both flinched when Sydney’s voice boomed through the police station.

 Wendy herself felt a chill at the site of him, but not necessarily for the rage on his face. Glass had to use a cane due to the back injury he received during the showdown with Jekyll’s lackey. Just the thought of the battle made Wendy’s blood curdle.

 “I leave you two to your own devices for a day and you almost become accessories in a murder!” he yelled at them.

 “Please, we were barely witnesses—”

 “I mean it, Pan!”

Pan stopped talking, but he popped his jaw as loudly as he could just to prove he wasn't going to be put down.

 Glass sighed, leaning tiredly against Graham’s death.

 “This was too close a call, and your actions caused a lot a problems.”

 “That’s journalism, Glass,” Pan muttered.

 “You’re both suspended.”

 “What!” Pan roared.

 “One week.”

 “Like hell we are!” Pan jumped up.

 In a flash Glass had the end of his cane just pressing into Pan’s windpipe. The younger man barely flinched, but he didn’t try to pick a fight.

 “I’m warning you, leave, and shut the hell up,” Glass growled. “Or so help me I will make sure your writing Garden Club updates until the day you die.”

 Wendy could see steam rising from Pan’s skin. He was ready to explode, and he would more than likely take half the block out with him.

 “Go home, Pan,”

 Pan glare turned to Wendy, piercing into her soul. Wendy resisted his heat. She’d accepted her part in this and would gladly accept her punishment. He couldn’t hurt her.

 With a growl Pan slapped Glass’s cane away and stormed out of the office, the concrete of each step sounding as if it was breaking under his seething stomp.

 The rest of the party flinched when Pan slammed the door downstairs.

 “As for you kid,” Glass continued exhaustedly. “I’ll drive you home.”

 Wendy nodded and followed him without protest, avoiding Graham’s downcast eyes.

 The ride to her apartment was slow and quiet, the humming of the heat a dutiful distractor from the slight tension between the two journalists.

 “For what it’s worth, kid,” Glass spoke. “What you did was pretty damn impressive, but this on top of everything else you and Pan have stirred up, it was either cut you down or let Graham cage you.”

 “Duly noted,” Wendy sighed.

 Another short bout of quiet followed until Glass began to shuffle around in his saddle back, worrying the woman with his slight swerving.

 “Check it out,” he said as he handled her a wrinkled paper. “A rought draft of tomorrow’s paper.”

 Wendy gulped at the large printed headline of Mother Superior’s story. She scanned through the story, the first-testimony coming from another nun at the convent who found the note under Mother Superior’s chair after the police left, followed by a statement from Sheriff Graham.

 “How does an entire forensic team miss a suicide note?” Wendy pondered aloud.

 Glass laughed. “I wondered the same thing. I also wondered how the hell Superior overdosed on meds that she took for years.”

 Wendy paused. “That…is weird.”

 She turned the page for the rest of the story and saw a strangely shot picture. She squinted a bit, and found it to be a letter.

 Wendy gasped. “Is this…”

 “Technically yeah,” Glass answered as he slowed at a stop sign. “But there is no way in hell I could actually publish it. Respect for the victim and all that. We replaced it with a photo of her.”

 Wendy nodded absently and turned on the mirror light to better illuminate the page. The letter was sprawled out, obviously hastily written. Wendy pondered if her hurried letter was written out of fear. Fear of the future in her position? Or with the community? Maybe with Tink, if she cared about her at all.

 Wendy couldn’t make out the writing after all, but she couldn’t look away from the letter.

 There was something else. She could feel it in her bones. Buzzing and begging to nestle deeper.

 Until it finds blood.

 She squinted at the letter and while the words were unclear, the penmanship was admirable with it’s curvy cursive. It reminded her of her father’s. It took years of practice to create such longhand, and usually by people who’s livelihood depended on how well they could right. Bankers, like her father, secretariws, lawyers…

 Wendy’s blood went cold.

 “Kid?”

 It found the blood. 

Wendy grabbed her bag and dumped its contents in her lap, searching hastily for the one scrap of evidence that would tie this nightmare together.

And she did.

Wrinkled under a slew of pens was Mr. Gold’s cell number on his business card.

 The l’s on the card and in the letter were the same.

 “Kid are you listening?”

 Wendy clutched the card in her hand and opened the door, causing Glass to come to a screeching halt.

 “The hell! Wendy?” he barely dodged her seatbelt hitting him in the face as she sprinted from the car.

 “Wendy? Wendy!”

 Wendy blocked him out, blocked anything out that would prevent her from getting to Mr. Gold in time.

 It was ironic really.

 The only time she ran in a panic was to evade a foe, yet for once she wasn’t running from a monster.

 She was running to one.

                                                                                 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 It was well past closing by the time she reached Gold’s shop, yet the lights were still on and the man himself was behind his desk, seeming to fill out paperwork.

 Or more suicide letters. Wendy thought bitterly.

 The door was locked, and Gold looked up when he heard someone jimmying the lock.

 Through the glass she could see his lip tug in a half smile, and she resisted throwing the nearest rock through the door.

 “A bit late, isn’t it Miss Darling?” he greeted when he let her in.

 “You did this,” Wendy seethed when he closed the door.

 “You’ll have to be a bit more specific,” he countered as he limped back to his desk.

 Wendy rushed after him and threw his business card on the glass.

 “You wrote Mother Superior’s suicide letter,” Wendy gasped. “It’s your handwriting!”

 Gold simply stared at her, brilliantly masking any fear or being caught or surprise that Wendy had put the pieces together so soon.

 “That is a very serous accusation, Miss Darling,”

 “But not untrue,” Wendy calculated. “Do not lie to me, Gold. We’ve been completely honest with each other up to this point.”

 Gold nodded in agreement. “Indeed we have,”

 “So its true then?” Wendy gulped. “You wrote her letter?”

 Gold simply stared at her, and Wendy could almost think it was Pan.

 And as Pan he would do, Gold tilted his head and chuckled, low and humorous. Dark.

 “Why?” Wendy breathed. “Why would you do something so…heinous?”

 Gold shook his head, his smirk becoming more of a tired grin.

 “A variety of reasons really. Not that her dark little secret was out, I no long had the leverage I needed to keep her in my corner. She was disposable.”

 “She was human!” Wendy yelled.

 “She,” Gold seethed, “was a vile woman who used fear to manipulate people to do her bidding.”

 “Like you?” Wendy scoffed.

 “I always give the people I deal with something in return.”

 Wendy shook her head. She couldn’t believe this. This was a nightmare. When was she going to wake up?

 “Did you kill her?” Wendy inquired.

 Gold actually scoffed, as if being accused of murder was below him.

 “I simply put everything into place. She handled the dirty bits.”

 “But the letter…”

 “Was the only way you and Sister Astrid would ever be clear.” He concluded, his tone dropping more seriously. “If her death remained labeled an accident, the eyes of the town would have stayed on you forever. They’d never trust you, never accept you because suspicion wins out every time.”

 “No,” Wendy shook her head.

 “And then of course there was Sister Astrid’s unintentional role in all of this,” Mr. Gold said in a low, almost sarcastic tone. “She would have been arrested, being the last person in her office and all,”

 “We would have helped her!”

 “And ruin yourself in the process,” Gold pointed out. “This is what is best for everyone, dearie. You’re all free now. Why not fly and leave the matter be?”

 “Because it’s still wrong!” Wendy gasped. “You meddled with evidence and put a horrible light on her death. That is how she’s going to be remembered.”

 “As she should be,” Gold growled. “That woman was no saint, and now she can receive the reputation she finally deserves.”

 “No…” Wendy gasped. This was wrong. So wrong.

 Gold sighed. “You’re a smart woman, Miss Darling. I no doubt you’ll see the benefit in this soon enough.”

 Wendy glared at him, holding back tears.

 “But you’re also a kind one,” Gold added, picking up his business phone and placing it in front of Wendy. “You have a good heart. I saw that yesterday with Miss la Bell,” he paused for a moment. “And with Belle.”

 Wendy gulped.

 “If you truly believe that revealing my folly is the right thing to do, then go ahead,” he tapped on the phone. “Expose me.”

 Wendy’s fingers flinched, itching to take the phone, call Sheriff Graham, and end this whole thing.

 “But I know you won’t do it.”

 Wendy’s hand shot back.

 “And just why do you think that?”

 That eerie smirk returned.

 “Because deep down you know I’m right. That Pan is right.”

 “Stop.”

 “And I think he’s in your bones now,” he nodded convinced. “And I think you do too.”

 “Why the hell would you say that!”

 Gold tapped on the phone again. “Because you’re not picking up the phone.”

 Wendy took in a shaky breath, willing her hand to rise.

 You’re just as filthy and selfish as he is.

 “That’s not true.”

 You're setting yourself up for a world of trouble if you stay here.

 “No I’m not.”

 This town, that…maniac you call a boyfriend, they're going to ruin you.

 “I’m not like him.” She reached for the phone but couldn’t will the nerves in her body to pick it up.

 I just want to be free.

 She was no saint.

 And next time

 No one's going to run back here to save you

 Wendy released the phone and got out of Gold’s shop as fast as she could, just missing the satisfied look on his face.

 “Fly, fly, little bird.”

 Her lungs were on fire by the time she reached her apartment, her vision blurring. By shear instinct she was able to find her own apartment.

 She didn’t feel safe until her door was closed and locked. Until she was past her bedroom. Until she was in the deep polished tub where she could blame the sickening noises that left her throat on the aging pipes.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Supernatural stars cover EW to celebrate 300 episodes (and an epic reunion)

Samantha Highfill

January 16, 2019 at 12:00 PM EST

“REUNION TIME!”

Jared Padalecki is making an announcement. It’s early December, and he and his Supernatural costar Jensen Ackles are preparing for their final two days of filming the 300th episode (Feb. 7) as demon-hunting brothers Sam and Dean Winchester, respectively. As they walk onto the Men of Letters set on a rainy Thursday, they come face-to-face with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a personal friend and the man who brought Papa John Winchester to life in the show’s pilot (and left the show after season 2). “It’s the culmination of 300 episodes,” Padalecki says of Morgan’s return. After all, John’s disappearance kick-started the brothers’ road trip.

“DAD’S ON A HUNTING TRIP, AND HE HASN’T BEEN HOME IN A FEW DAYS.”

Standing in his little brother’s college apartment, Dean Winchester first uttered those words in the pilot, and in doing so, launched Supernatural’s — and the brothers’ —  first big mystery. “I had a good feeling about the show just reading the pilot,” Ackles says. “It had grit, the characters were well-written, and the story had miles to go.” Although he couldn’t quite predict how many miles the journey would be.

Supernatural premiered on The WB in 2005 and has since become the longest-running show in The CW’s history. The idea was simple: two brothers hunting monsters from urban legends, the kinds of things you’d hear about while sitting around a campfire. Bloody Mary? They killed her. Hook Man? Yep, him too. But it didn’t take long for the writers to understand that they might have to broaden the scope of the show if they wanted to get 20-plus episodes (much less 300). “We quickly realized that [conceit] would run out in a hurry, so even early on we expanded our horizons of what the show could be,” executive producer/co-showrunner Robert Singer says. But just how far could they stretch? And would they even get the chance?

Despite surviving the 2006 WB–UPN merger that created The CW, it took years forSupernatural to land on solid ground. “Bob Singer and I were fighting for the show’s survival at the ends of the first three seasons,” says creator Eric Kripke. “We’d have a meeting with the network that we informally called the ‘explain-why-we-should-give-you-another-season’ meeting.” And yet there was something about those conditions that felt right for a show about two humans trying to save the world from superhuman forces. As Dean recently said in a season 14 episode, “Impossible odds—feels like home.” But the land of impossible odds isn’t simply where the show (and the Winchesters) lived in those early years. It’s where they thrived. “In the beginning we almost mischievously wanted to see what we could get away with,” Kripke says. “There weren’t a lot of genre shows on The CW. It was mostly Gossip Girl and 90210. We were always like the goth kid at the back of the class that no one really wanted to pay attention to. So on this little weird horror show, we really got to push some boundaries that hadn’t been attempted in TV. There was no one saying, ‘That’s too crazy.’” So they took risks. They wrote a Groundhog Day-style episode called “Mystery Spot” that saw Dean die more than 100 times in one hour. They created “Hollywood Babylon,” an episode where Sam and Dean investigated a haunted horror-movie set. They produced “Ghostfacers,” an episode shot to look like a reality show about ghost hunting. “We always felt like we were on tenterhooks a little, but it helped us in a way,” Singer says. “We said, ‘If they don’t like us, let’s be bold.’ ” And in season 4, they made perhaps their biggest, boldest decision yet: They introduced angels (and therefore a much more religious story line) into the fold, which Singer identifies as the show’s biggest turning point. “I was concerned that would be a bridge too far,” Padalecki says of the angelic decision. “I wondered, ‘Are we going to turn o a lot of the people that came here to watch a scary movie?’” Kripke himself had fought the idea for years, until a pre–season 4 epiphany came to him while he was washing his face, of all things. “I realized the supernatural world was unbalanced,” Kripke says. “There was only evil. So I walked in the writers’ room on day one of season 4 and said, ‘Okay, there’s going to be angels…but they’re dicks!’”

Thus began what Kripke, who’s since created Revolution and co-created Timeless, still believes is one of the best hours of television he’s ever written: the season 4 premiere. “Lazarus Rising” introduced Castiel, the show’s first and longest-lasting angel. “Right before my scene, [then writer] Sera [Gamble] said, ‘Your life is about to change,’” remembers Misha Collins, who plays Castiel. He adds with a laugh, “I was like, ‘You’re so full of yourself.’” But Collins’ life did just that when he shifted from being a guest star to a series regular as his character survived multiple deaths — and even a brief stint as God — to become someone Sam and Dean consider family. “Angels completed the mythology,” Kripke says, and with them, the show was able to build to what writer-turned-showrunner Gamble refers to as the “regularly scheduled apocalypse” at the end of season 5. It was good versus evil. Michael versus Lucifer. Dean versus Sam. And for a while, everyone believed it was the end of the show. But when the network gave them a renewal for season 6, the writers were left to figure out what the heck comes after an apocalypse. The answer? Anything they wanted.

“A benefit of genre is we have such a huge runway in terms of ‘anything can happen,’” then writer and current co-showrunner Andrew Dabb says. “A medical show is limited in the scope of what they can do. We’re not.” So the next few seasons saw Supernatural push even more boundaries, with alternate realities, meta episodes (“The French Mistake,” anyone?), and new villains. That’s not to say everything worked, but that’s the beauty of a long-running show with a devoted audience — everything doesn’t have to work. “Fans would forgive sins of certain episodes because they love watching Sam and Dean,” Singer says. Because saying Supernatural fans like Supernatural is like saying Dean likes pie. It’s not about liking it. It’s about loving it. “I don’t think we have casual fans,” Singer says. “They live and breathe this show.” The #SPNFamily gathers all around the country (and globe) for multiple conventions each year, and every July they ll the largest venue, Hall H, at San Diego Comic-Con. It’s those fans who are devoted to Sam and Dean, even when their Impala might take a wrong turn. “The show’s ability to evolve and adapt is what’s led to it lasting 14 years,” Dabb says, adding, “Theoretically there are still a bunch of Leviathan out there running around that we never dealt with, but we don’t talk about that.”

Limitless options and viewer forgiveness aside, there is one rule the show has to follow — outside of standards and practices, that is. “I credit Bob Singer for instilling from very early on the idea that the show can go anywhere as long as the characters stay true to themselves,” former showrunner Jeremy Carver says. “The core of the show is the bond between the brothers.” With Sam and Dean as its foundation, the show can make episodes like season 11’s “Baby,” which was shot entirely from the perspective of the Impala, or season 13’s “Scoobynatural,” an animated crossover with Scooby-Doo and the gang. “One of the fun takeaways of watching Supernatural is that if you can imagine it, there’s probably a little town somewhere in America where it’s happening,” Gamble says. “It’s unlike any other show, really, in the history of American television.” And 14 seasons in, it’s still finding ways to surprise fans by, say, bringing John Winchester back.

“DAD?”

Standing next to his little brother in the Men of Letters bunker, Dean can’t believe what he’s seeing. This time he’s not enlisting his brother to find Dad, because Dad has come to them. And he hasn’t changed much. His beard has more gray in it and his face is thinner, but it will surprise no one that John comes back with a rifle in his hand. (Sorry, Walking Dead fans; the rifle came before Lucille.) But John isn’t the only one who’s changed. Standing across from him, Sam and Dean are no longer the kids who crammed toy army men into the ashtray of the Impala, or even the young men who went looking for him in the pilot. They’ve grown up. Their lives, quite simply, have changed. The same can be said of the actors themselves. In fact, Ackles is currently two years older than Morgan was when he filmed the pilot. “That’s how full circle it all is,” Morgan says. “Like a father would be, I’m very proud of the guys. It makes me get choked up because they’ve done so well here. Episode 300? That’s unheard of.”

As for how John comes back, let’s just say things get weird — don’t they always? — and there’s an altered reality at play. “Our guys are put in a position where they essentially can have a wish granted,” Dabb says. “They’re actually expecting something else, but [John’s return] comes from a place of want by Dean. The need for closure is really what brings John back into their lives.” But John isn’t the only person who comes back into their lives. As with any altered reality, not everything changes for the good. Without getting too specific, whatever brings John back also causes the return of Zachariah (Kurt Fuller), the no-BS angel who saw Sam and Dean as nothing more than thorns in his side. (Like Kripke said, angels are dicks!) Speaking of angels, this reality also affects Castiel in… certain ways. This time the boys are dealing with a different (though not entirely unfamiliar) version of their friend.

But for Morgan, who’s been asked for years about returning, it has always been about bringing John back in the right way. “The relationships between these three men were so open, so if I was going to come back, it would be nice to have some closure, especially with Sammy,” Morgan says. And before the hour’s over, both boys will get a moment alone with Dad. “This episode gives Sam a chance to forgive,” Padalecki says. Ackles adds, “For Dean, the whole episode is a dream that he doesn’t want to wake up from. But he knows he has to.”

Back in the bunker’s kitchen where Padalecki declared “reunion time” just hours ago, Sam and Dean are sitting around a table sharing a bottle of whiskey with their father and catching him up on everything he’s missed. Yes, they’ve saved the world (more than once). Yes, Lucifer has a son. But most important, John’s late wife, Mary — the woman he spent his life trying to avenge — is alive. Right then Mary rounds the corner for the moment she never saw coming, but in a strange way has always been waiting for. “Everything’s right in the world in this bubble of time,” Samantha Smith, who plays Mary, says of the couple’s reunion. “It’s very romantic.”

But as the Winchesters know a bit too well, all good things must come to an end. And when this is said and done, Sam and Dean will return to their life, driving down crazy street next to each other. Because despite the show hitting 300 episodes, nobody’s ready to call it quits just yet. “I don’t think we’re ready to throw in the towel,” Ackles says. “We’ve still got a little gas in the tank.” Put another way, Sam and Dean still got work to do.