#wow look at me i finally posted an art after like 7 or 8 months

[trojanteapot]

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello there! I’m finally here with the third and last part of my favorite drarry fics I read in 2019!!! In the first part and in the second part I recommended 10 stories that made my year, and in this post I’m recommending 10 more that I absolutely adore. The banner art is by @spielzeugkaiser who was really kind and let me use this GORGEOUS piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, without further ado, here’s my,

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2019 PART THREE

1. The Company of The Rose - @lower-east-side - 31k - E - Six years after the war, Draco Malfoy has been restoring magical estates, while sidestepping his mother’s plots to marry him off and resolutely avoiding his issues. An advert in the Prophet takes him to a remote island, where a mysterious stranger has purchased an abandoned retreat. But the house has a few secrets of its own, and Draco will be forced to deal with not only his past, but the possibilities of the future.

We’re starting out this list with one of the last fics I read last year, and undoubtedly one of my absolute favorites. It’s gorgeous, sweet, breathtaking, a dozen other adjectives I can’t even think of. Stories that take place in beautiful, secluded places have a special place in my heart, and with a sure hand the author leads us through some of my favorite aspects of the trope: slow forming friendships, the feeling like they’re living in a world of their own as they get to know each other for who they really are, wonderful, delicious sexual tension keeping me breathless until the moment it snaps. The sex pollen element is also worked in a way I had never read before, with an exploration of what happens in the aftermath, addressing the issue of consent it creates. It’s just absolutely phenomenal, every single word of this. 

2. I could be wrong, I could be ready - @harryromper - 57k - M - At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine. Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

Explorations of Harry as a character and his post-war issues never fail to hook me right in, and this beautiful fic takes us with him on a journey where he changes so, so much, and at first he does it by running away, thinking everything will remain unchanged as long as he doesn’t acknowledge it, which, of course, isn’t the case. We see him having to face his past, reconnecting with his friends, finding and coming to terms with pieces of himself that he forgot about, or never knew existed in the first place, and it’s absolutely exquisite. The tremendous amount of character development, the regaining of trust in himself and others, the way we can witness a love story blooming slow and steady, and see Harry grow into a confident, wonderful man. God, I have feels for this one, for every detail, every character and setting and emotion. It’s absolutely fantastic. 

3. What Real Thing? - @l0vegl0wsinthedark - 12k - E - They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.

This was my year of falling in love with l0ve’s fics. I had read some of her work before, but it was a few months ago that I found myself deep into her ao3 page, nearly weeping with the amount of emotion every single one of her stories stirs up within me. Picking just one was extremely difficult, but I finally chose this one, because the way she paints the relationship between Harry and Draco is masterful, their dynamic shifting and changing little by little, baby steps that become full-on sprints, single-minded and hesitant all at once, until we see them elbows deep into a feeling they don’t even know they’re experiencing, and it’s just brilliant, scorching hot, all-encompassing in a way that made me feel caught up in the whirlwind that is their relationship. If you haven’t yet read anything by l0ve, then I strongly, strongly recommend you start right about NOW. You won’t regret it. 

4. Teeth - @amelior8or - 5k - E - Potter’s been practically begging for it, for months, constantly staring until the air crackles with the intensity of it. Draco always stares back, until all it takes is a brush, a spark, before they go up like flash paper. The crash into each other is inevitable. Draco’s heart has got teeth. And there is nothing he won’t do to keep up the fight with Harry fucking Potter.

I am absolutely, 1000% weak for werewolf stories, and in just 5k words this one managed to enchant and entrance me. It’s hot and fast-paced and intense in the way I love, with their relationship charged with emotion and intensity that transform bickering into passion in the blink of an eye. The moment I reached the end, I went back to the top of the page and reread it that very second, because I had to experience it all over again. Amazing characterization, banter to die for and explosive chemistry are all present in this gem. I kid you not, I’ve read it about six times at this point and just keep going back to that moment in the showers because THAT DIALOGUE IS JUST- wow. 

5. Hush, darling - @magpiefngrl - 23k - E - Draco is in trouble. To get out of it he needs to seduce Harry Potter.

My god what a story this is. Absolutely unique, 23k words that felt like so, so much more because of everything they made me feel. There isn’t a single line of dialogue in this story that doesn’t feel purposeful, the characterizations constructed with such skill that every step the characters take rings true to their essence and gives us another clue to add to the puzzle that is Harry Potter, vulnerable man, powerful man, and Draco Malfoy, in all his darkness and his light. It also features some of the best sex scenes I have read, EVER. I could go on and on about this one, so let me just refer you to my long, individual rec for some more flailing. 

6. The Pirate and the Prince - @nerdherderette - 49k - E - Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

YES!!!!! YES!!! The moment I saw the cover art for this fic on tumblr my entire being just screamed YES, and it was everything I could’ve hoped for and more. Listen, there is nothing I love more than fics where I get to see Harry as a powerful, ruggedly handsome man who’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty, and in here there’s some of that and MORE, because he’s a freaking PIRATE. And not only did I adore that aspect of it, but the writing pulled me right in, the setting so vibrant I could feel it in my bones, and I just genuinely enjoyed every second of reading this so, so much. There’s ships and adventure and fighting for what’s right, there’s lovely kisses, heated kisses, secret identities and parrot Hedwig. Just, all in all, a great freaking time. 

7. Falling for a Golden Boy - @rockmarina - 44k - E - Merlin. Why couldn’t Draco have moved to a forgotten village in the Alps? He could have turned into a shepherd, learned to make his own damn cheese and given up his damn magic. But no, he’d had to come back to his Eighth year, hadn’t he? And this was his life now. Draping himself over Potter to hear words from him that he knew Potter wouldn’t ever mean.Great. The school year ahead of him looked simply great.“All I know is—when I’m with you, I…” Potter, the heathen, grunted when he read the rest of his line. “Do I really need to say this?”“What, scared of believing your own words, Scarhead?” Draco spat.“Boys,” O’Neill warned them.“All I—all I know is you’re the most amazing person with weak ankles that I've ever met, Meg.” Potter scowled. He was blushing again. “And when I’m with you, I feel less alone.”

My favorite eight year Drarry of all time, probably. I had never before experienced such a beautiful balance of the aftermath of the horrifying events of the war and how they impacted each character, and the light feeling of youthful fun. There are so, so many things to love in the 44k words that make up this masterpiece, so many details that warmed my heart and made me melt inside, so many moments that had me laughing or clutching my chest. In here, you’ll find quite a lot of Hercules references, wonderful teachers, drama club, healing, characters learning to trust, learning to love, learning to cope, beautiful friendships, hopeful romance. It is everything. I talked more about this fic in this individual rec, and I will absolutely talk MORE about it if given the chance. Everyone should read this. 

8. Tease Crossed, Eyes Dotted With A Little Heart - @diligent-thunder - 18k - M -  Draco's a curse-breaker, Harry's an Auror, and they're... something? Maybe? It depends. Harry definitely wants to get laid, Draco wants to follow procedure, and their work wives just want them to stop hiding from the truth. 

I hope you’re not sick of my rambling yet because oooooh boy, THIS ONE. It’s funny, in the way that makes you cover your mouth because you’re about to burst out laughing on the bus, it’s hot, in that casual way that makes you clear your throat and shift your phone just a little, just so the screen can’t be seen by the person sitting beside you because like HELL are you going to stop reading now, it’s sweet, in the way that makes you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, and it’s so detailed and all around so, so much fun to read, in the way that grips you and doesn’t let you go, only to release you when it’s over so you can go and recommend it to your friends, IT’S. SO. GOOD. Real quick: auror + cursebreaker pairing, are-they-friends-with-benefits-or-more, guess-they’d-have-to-actually-TALK-to-know-that, teasing each other in public, getting trapped together for a bit there, powerful female characters, should you guys really be flirting right now? and MORE. Listen, just go read it now and thank me later. 

9. That which hurts (and is desired) - @shealwaysreads - 19k - E - Draco was lying still, and pale, on a bed in a private room in St Mungo’s. The sheets were white, clean, enchanted against stains, vanishing the blood that kept spilling out of him. He hadn’t moved in two days. Not a twitch of his elegant fingers. Not a blink of his fierce eyes. Harry couldn’t even see the faint flutter of his pulse in his throat from where he stood at the foot of the bed, helpless, impotent, furious.

This fic is written so, so beautifully that it aches and leaves such an impression that, thinking back on it, every emotion hits me just as hard as it did when I was reading it. Everything Harry felt, I felt, every moment where he found himself just a little bit more in love with Draco, I was there, every moment of his frustration when Draco is hit with a curse nobody can decipher, I was there for it. With non-linear storytelling, it is evocative, a masterclass in narration, pacing, characterization and beautiful, lyrical writing. I nearly have no words for it. It features: auror partners that work together seamlessly, a dash of pining, a helping of very, very hot sex, and a love story that feels soft like a dream and thrilling like a race. This was the very last story I read in 2019, and I could not have ended the year on a better note. Definitely check this one out.

10. For Thine Is The Kingdom - @kedavranox - 66k - E - On a secret mission, Draco is Turned. With no memory of what happened, he learns that to save his missing Auror partner and regain what he’s lost, he must uncover the long-buried secrets of the vampire covens. To do that, Draco must open his mind and heart to what he has become, the new-found family that surrounds him, and the man who has remained steadfast at his side through it all.Harry spent five years avoiding the man he fell in love with, but when Draco needs his help, he cannot refuse. As they race against the clock to find Draco’s partner, Harry discovers that the bond they share is nothing to hide from, and that he'll never outrun the pace of his own heart.

And last but absolutely not least, there’s this freaking diamond of a story. I swear I want to squeal whenever I remember it. I’ll be brief: it is one of my absolute favorite fics of all time. In here, there’s vampires, unspeakables, a big investigation, wonderful side characters and information given in small little doses as we learn alongside the characters and piece together an entire picture. It’s dazzling, incredibly detailed in every way, with shades to each character and nuances to every interaction and bit of magic we get to see. I feel like anything I can say is not enough, I can never do this story justice. I have tried before, and written the gushiest individual fic rec of my LIFE but just- I honestly have no more words to express how much I think everyone needs to read this. Please, check that rec out, please, check this story out. There is absolutely nothing like it.

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And that wraps it for 2019! Thank you to all who take the time to check out my lists, and THANK YOU specially if you give these incredible stories a chance, because they deserve all the love in the world. Once again: All the way from here, behind a username and a few tumblr posts, I can honestly say that these 30 stories made my year. I hope they can make yours, too ❤️ If you ever want to discuss these (for tag concerns or plain flailing) (or any story really) my DM’s are always open!!!

[tracle0]

hello hey hi and a splendid saturday to you, I come bearing a question for the wip4 gang and that question is: what is each of their most significant memories? additionally, are there any memories they would jump at the chance to get rid of? ok bye please have an excellent day \o/ (and before you yell at me I'm going to sleep now I swear)

I’m glad that when you even LOOK at me you think ‘oh sleep time’ I am Pavlov and you are my dog and this metaphor is stupid I will answer your question now

I’m gonna... assume this is uhh pre-story question because I know for a fact that at least three characters would change their answer to at least one question if it was post-story. My house, my rules. 

Keaton’s most significant memory is p r o b a b l y the time when he was in year 12 (17), and he was called to the head of sixth form office. He’d been at this school since year 7 (11), and had realised he was trans in year 8 (12/13), and had then been fighting for the right to use his bathroom ever since. This had previously resulted in punishment. In year 10 (15), he made progress, being allowed to use the disabled bathroom, but he wanted the men's bathroom dammit. 

Anyway, called to head of sixth form, assumed it was related to that issue. Pessimistic about the whole ordeal. 

Turned out there was another student in like year 9 who had come out as trans as well, and the school had gone ‘UHHHHHHHHH LET’S DO BETTER THIS TIME’ so Keaton, being the only other trans student in this rural Norfolk school, was assigned as her... mentor??? I guess? 

He was half like ‘fuck y’all’ and half like ‘I will not let this young woman go through the same shit you all put me through, I will guard her like a HAWK’. He was still not allowed to use his bathroom, but he makes her fight a little easier; she’s allowed to use her bathroom in year 10, after he left. They still meet up every now and then for coffee. 

Memory to be rid of: First day on a Professional Set, he walked backwards whilst taking a tea order and fell into a bin. Terrible first impression. He still got jobs afterwards, but sometimes people will be like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of you you’re the bin guy’ and he wants to punch them. 

This is getting long already I’m gonna put the rest under a cut

I know you’re here for Mika so I’ll go to them, most significant memory: probably his first pride? He didn’t intend to go to pride, but he was in the city on the day of pride and just walked past all these rainbows and flags and people being so open and proud and themselves. He was maybe fifteen, and had been having those fun Gender Feels that you try and hide at age fifteen, because you’re only fifteen and most people tell you you’re not old enough to know anything about yourself, yknow? 

Someone gave him a flyer at one point, and when he got back to his Ultra Christian Household, he hid it and would read through it some nights. When he had it memorised, he started to explore more about queerness online. He’s the guy who can tell you all about LGBT history due to this research. This was only done in the city on the library computers, where his trail couldn’t be tracked. It gave him some sort of start for labels, some sort of safe space, some sort of New Approach to everything he’d been feeling. 

Memory to be rid of: last day in Ultra Christian School. He was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and it wasn’t awful until he was about fourteen, at which point he started to grow his hair. They told him to cut it constantly. He was punished for it. He kept the hair. 

It got bad but it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that it really buckled; first real notable psychotic episode. He told people, they were convinced it was some sort of possession, convinced he’d sinned, convinced of all these horrible things about him and drove him out until he could ‘act normally’ again. He did not go back. 

In all honesty, the second he turned 18, he took his savings from various dead grandparents and a part-time job, bought a second-hand (maybe third-hand) camper-van and left home. 

He goes back for Christmas only. 

Mooooving on, Lynne! Who I do not talk about enough; she’s also part of the documentary squad, and actually the reason the whole squad exists. Producer and director, she’s very cool okcoolthanks

Most significant memory: That one time she was thirteen and her parents had officially declared their divorce. She was living with her dad and it was really, really weird and she was not enjoying it. Divorce is a big deal to some families, and this family was one of them, and she was really unsure about her entire future. 

Cue Mika, young and mostly obedient, kicking down the door (not literally) and kidnapping her (again, not literally) to come pick blackberries with him (very literally). They stayed out until the sun went down in early Autumn. She forgot about the divorce for a small amount of time. They ended the day eating fish and chips straight from the paper whilst sitting in a tree and talking about nothing important at all. 

They made jam out of the blackberries the next day. It was gross. Both of them refused to admit it was gross. 

Memory to be rid of: She went camping one time with friends from school. Lynne is Muslim and so did not go to Catholic school with Mika, they just lived near each other, and so school friends went ‘hey we’re going camping you should come’ she did come. 

It was a mess. They were fifteen and determined to drink, and English peer pressure to drink is weird, so she did take some drink but didn’t drink it. Someone threw up on her tent and blamed it on her. No-one bought any food or water, the only thing she was able to drink was lemonade bought for mixing and that had ants in it within two hours. 

She woke up first and left them all there, then walked home because she was meant to be lift-sharing. It took an hour and a half. She preferred that to being in the car. 

That group wasn’t her only group of friends, but it was her main group, so things were awkward for a while. 

Moving on from Documentary Squad, Percival! Percy Percival who I wish I could call Percy because it’s so much easier to write. 

Significant memory: winning an art contest when he was like. Eleven. Really living the high-life, ol’ Percival. It was a city-wide contest, with various age categories. He was part of the 11-18 clump, which put him at a disadvantage, but he still won. As a reward, his art was replicated on a mural in one of the shopping malls in town, and he got some fancy vouchers for a fancy art shop in the city. 

Winning the art contest made him go ‘oh wait I’m actually good at this thing I really like doing I should learn how to do that more’ and you could barely pry him away from his sketchbook from that point on. 

Those vouchers were stored away until he was 14 and doing art GCSE, at which point he bought a nice sketchbook and oil paints. He’s now very good at oil painting. I hate him for being good at oil painting. Oil painting SUCKS. 

Memory to be rid of: I’m torn between three and they’re all similar so I’ll go for all of them. 

#1 - losing an eye to Abby’s experiments. You read the lil short story I think (I know I checked just now) - she’s a very kind and loving sister who sometimes moves his body parts around. One time, he lost an eye and went blind for a few weeks. He had nightmares about it for months. It was very painful.

#2 - losing a finger. To Abby’s experiments. It was the middle finger on his left hand and it didn’t go back into place quickly enough - now it’s always numb and discoloured. Good news is he’s right-handed and not a musician so no worries about losing dexterity on that hand. 

#3 - losing two ribs. To Abby’s experiments.  There’s a very clear trend here. She wanted to try moving things she couldn’t see around. She moved two ribs away. She decided it was more dangerous to put them back. Now they just have two of Percival’s ribs lying around. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On that note, final person, this is very long. Abby! She’s fun. Most significant memory;

okay the word ‘significant’ has caught me off-guard several times cause like wow how do you figure out significant memories for people. I don’t have just one, yknow? But I think I know one for her. 

She’s the eldest out of her and Percival and, for a while, people wanted her to set an example for him, which she tried to do, but she wasn’t good at what people wanted her to be good at. She’s good with people. She’s good at very specific parts of biology. She’s good at psychology. She’s not good at school and tests. 

So, when Percival started to beat the standards she set for him, her parents almost... egged competition on. Played favourites, compared the two siblings. Nobody really noticed what she could do, they only cared about what she struggled with. And the parents were rarely around to help out with what she was struggled with. So she struggled on and tried to keep her head high.

Cue a family wedding, she was snooping around the snack table at the reception and overheard her parents talking about her. And how they were almost disappointed in her. How they were annoyed that she couldn’t be more like Percival, honestly, what did they do wrong? 

She got bitter. She pretends she doesn’t care but she’s bitter, and with no parents around to lash out at, she lashes out at Percival, who isn’t even aware. Good times. Not good times. Significant times. 

Memory to be rid of: Honestly? Probably hearing her parents talking about her at the family wedding. It stings. 

A n y w a y this was extremely long I like going into detail with short stories, if you read this far then thank you I appreciate it I will give you a feather from my feather collection. Probably a swan feather. I have a lot of swan feathers. 

[darkpoisonouslove]

2020 in Words

After the total exhaustion and lack of motivation of the last few months, I have finally found the strength to review 2020. In terms of writing, that is. Otherwise, we ain’t touching that with a 100-foot pole. But anyway, let’s get to the actual good part of 2020 - the writing.

Word Count:

678, 105 words

And that isn’t actually all. I have started various things that 2021 caught still in progress so there are more words to be added to that number but I’ll count them towards whatever time frame I finish them in (I do not even dare assume that all of them will be finished this year).

A little over 1/7th of that word count was accomplished only in March when I wrote over 100k words. Wow, productivity where did you go? I know that the world is going to hell but do you mind coming back? I can use you. I have so many new ideas that I am really excited about but totally lack the energy to actually get to. Hope that will change in the next weeks because there is A Lot going on in my head that I am actually dying to share.

Fandoms:

Winx Club has totally taken over for me. I have barely written five works this year that are not about that show and I just don’t know what is happening anymore. I have so many thoughts and things to discuss and fix about it and I have a feeling that some upcoming events will only reinforce that position. But what truly matters is that it has truly made 2020 more bearable to be in the fandom and write fic. The interactions with other fans have been lovely which is totally worth the brain damage that some experiences over this show have inflicted.

Once Upon a Time lurked until about the half of the year but I can’t say that I have been actively interested in it. I just rewatched 4A for the Frozen Swan interactions and 4B for Cruella De Vil and that was pretty much all of it this year. I think it’s safe to say that at this point I have more or less moved on from the show and I do not expect a miraculous comeback to it. Which leaves my rewatch dangling over the chasm of uncertainty but I have projects I am far more interested in rn to be thinking about that.

I actually joined the Lucifer fandom this year, though I cannot say that I am active in it at all. It was nice to challenge myself with the small contribution I made to the fanworks in the fandom so I am putting it here because I am not done with watching the show even though I don’t think I have a good enough grasp on any of the characters in order to actually write them.

Ships:

Well, 2020 definitely delivered on that front. I have found myself piles of new ships to ship the hell out. Some I am more grateful about, others leave me slightly bitter over not knowing what to do with them but it certainly hasn’t been boring. Because this is my wrap-up and contemplation, I get to list them and maybe say a couple of words about some of them.

Griffin x Valtor - Not new but it was definitely the biggest part of that year.

Griffin x Valtor x Faragonda - New in the sense of me having written a fic about this now... and having several more ideas on my drives so... beware, future!

Griffin x Faragonda - Also not new but when the feelings catch up with me, they really mean it. Two major bursts of inspiration about them have left me with interesting results and I am looking forward to finding out where this goes.

Marion x Oritel - That was new. It was the first new ship of the year. I have more ideas about them but the muse has not visited lately. I am not giving up, though. Sometimes you gotta sail the ship even when there’s no wind.

Flora x Icy - That was definitely a surprise. I don’t know what happened but I do know that a goddamn look at Pinterest has brought on an entire epic about them (and the other Trix and Winx) so... thanks for that, Pinterest. I wish you could pin free time on Pinterest and go consume it later so that I would actually have the time to work on all of this.

Layla x Stella - Oh, yeah, baby! I have feelings and I really want to do at least an outline of what would be too long to actually write as a fic, especially since I have A Lot on my plate rn.

Griffin x Griselda - Well, that... happened. I have no idea where any of this is going, only that it is a major part of Griffin’s arc in my most major series so... I guess it’s headed somewhere. Just have to stay along for the ride.

Zarathustra x Griselda - So totally trashcankitty12′s fault... But I guess I am the one responsible for actually including it in already ongoing stories.

Ediltrude x DuFour - Okay, that one I totally roped myself into. Do I regret it? ... Maybe a little because it may need to remain just background thanks to everything else that I have going on.

Griffin x Marion - Almost forgot that which is a damn shame because it is one of my absolute most favorite ships.

Griffin x Valtor x Marion - Not gonna lie, this has been sneaking into some stray ideas too repetitively to be an accident. Will it ever exist outside of my head, though?

Samara x Erendor - I just wanted to make them more likable to me because they were my least favorite characters on the show. Worked too well and now I am in fic hell.

Bloom x Sky - I got ONE idea, okay? Too bad that I love it too much for my own good, especially considering that it is sort of a rewrite of the series. Like I didn’t have enough of those already.

There are more, actually, but we will be here all day if I have to list every stray idea that I have entertained so let’s just move on.

Stories:

Winx Club - 80 (4 unfinished and 3 that I have been dragging with me since 2019 for a total of 7/111 incomplete.)

OUAT - 3 (all finished but I have two collections that are still open from 2019 and 2018 respectively)

Lucifer - 1 (it was a one-shot but I am glad that I managed to write it at all)

Original works - 1 (poem that I came up with at 4am)

That makes a total of 85 written works this year which is honestly astounding! My brain has been harping on me about not being productive since June but I have actually gotten quite a lot of work done! (Fun fact - my total for 2019 was 58 stories, and for 2020 it is 85 XD. We’re gonna need some new numbers in 2021.)

First fic of the year - Gold and Purple (Griffin x Valtor AU inspired by a Bulgarian folk tale)

Last fic of the year - New Warmth to Weave in Your Garden of Shine (Samara x Erendor + New Year traditions and worldbuilding on Eraklyon)

Favorite writing moment - that has got to be coming up with a wild idea for my season  rewrite that I will not be spoiling now. It was also inspired by Bulgarian folklore and I am so excited to reveal it (because it is so fucking grand) but we will all have to be patient.\

Wildest writing experience - definitely the entirety of chapter 4 from A Home You Never Knew How to Have. Man, that was... a goddamn ride. In every sense of the word. I still haven’t reread that bitch after posting it even though I have opened it probably a hundred times.

I launched several series this year that will need a lot of work to be brought to completion. Naturally, my focus is not on finishing those but on starting new things. Because of course it is. So here’s a heads-up for another post that will be coming shortly with announcements of my ideas. I would like to call it a plan for 2021 but I fear that will be too presumptuous of me so I will say that it is my hope that those are things that are to be released this year but I will only lapel them as projects that I am looking forward to rather than “upcoming”.

Other Works:

This year actually bore a couple other forms of art so I am going to list my creations in other mediums below because they deserve the attention.

Aesthetics:

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Marion

Ediltrude & Zarathustra

Siren AU:

Griffin

Ediltrude

Zarathustra

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Magic-Swapped Transformations:

Griffin Winx

Ediltrude Winx

Zarathustra Winx

Griffin Chamrix

Ediltrude Chamrix

Zarathustra Chamrix

Griffin Enchantix

Ediltrude Enchantix

Zarathustra Enchantix

Videos:

Griffin/Valtor - The Devil I Know

Winx - Trouble

Marion x Oritel/Griffin x Valtor/Faragonda x Hagen - Savage

Bloom/Mitzi - Wicked

Samara - You Should See Me in a Crown

Bloom/Sky - Kerosene

Winx Rewatch:

I actually rewatched all 8 seasons of the show + the 3 movies and I have written out my thoughts on all of them. You can find them here:

Winx Club Season 1 4kids (Stream of Consciousness) (I am actually considering redoing this one because it wasn’t in-depth like the others are)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Magical Adventure (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Mystery of the Abyss (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 1: Destiny of Bloom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 2: Revenge of the Trix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 3: The Battle for Magix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 4: The Shadow Phoenix (Stream of Consciousness)

I will not be writing any takeaways because I already talked about some of those in an ask and my brain is too fired at the moment to pull off some actual analysis and compose a proper conclusion. To be perfectly honest, I prefer not to think too much on 2020. It brought a lot of good things along with the bad but I still prefer not to look back on it if it isn’t necessary. I think it received enough of my energy already.

[zephyrthejester]

Three Years Blog Anniversary!

Well, would you look at that. In the blink of an eye, an entire year has gone by! It has now been a grand total of three years since I started up this liveblog, and ever since, it's been a whirlwind of an adventure that has introduced me to amazing shows, amazing games, and above all, amazing people! As has become tradition, it's time for us to gather 'round by the fire, bundle up in blankets, sip some hot cocoa, and reminisce about the shenanigans we got up to in the year 2019.

You know the drill! Click "Keep Reading" to see the rest! Let's go!

January kicked off with the closing episodes to Steven Universe's fifth season, and what a finale it was! In true SU nature, it managed to be wholesome, funny, terrifying, and sad all at once! Not to mention the finale episode specifically, which was rife with both fan service and a breath-taking final confrontation. It even prompted me to type up three whole Addendum posts just so I could get all my thoughts out there. Intermingling with these episodes were some rather poignant and touching episodes of RWBY's 6th Volume, which saw some great plot advancements for some of my favorite characters. And of course, there was one liveblog session early on dedicated to Fate/Stay Night, a series I began back in 2018. And that would end up being the last I'd liveblog about it. Following the technical difficulties of the Visual Novel crashing at an important moment, I lost much of my motivation to keep going at it, putting Fate/Stay Night on the bench... For now. But more on Fate/Stay Night later.

Then came February! Where I proceeded to do absolutely nothing at all. For 42 days, I fell into a pretty bad funk that I called depression, at the time. Well! I must be in a better mental space right now, because until it came time to make this post, I forgot all about it! Moving past the shame I felt for wordlessly abandoning my blog and discord community for over a month, come March I pressed right into a brand new liveblog: Kill la Kill! A frenetic, frantic, freaky series that serves as the spiritual sequel to what was, once upon a time, my favorite anime ever: Gurren Lagann. I was immediately charmed by it's absurdist humor and over-the-top everything. However, it wasn't long before I succumbed to my greatest flaw. I'm exceptionally picky about what I liveblog, and sadly, Kill la Kill didn't tick the boxes that needed to be ticked for me to stick with it. I eventually dropped the series after only three episodes.

Needless to say, I was getting desperate to reinvigorate my lost momentum. It was then and there, at the tail end of March, that I introduced the most significant change to my brand ever: Liveblogging itself was being benched in favor of a fanciful second attempt at running my video game focused Youtube Channel! While I would certainly continue to liveblog new episodes of shows I had previously caught up with, my efforts would be redoubled and focused upon something I hoped would shake things up for me. I put in the effort of buying a new, fancy, high-tech microphone, and set about to new projects!

First up was a tense and troublesome self-imposed-challenge: A playthrough of Resident Evil 2 Remake on its hardest difficulty, with the added stipulation that I can never access the item storage box! My knowledge and skills of that game were put to the test as I skirted by the dangerous zombies and mutants while carrying only the bare essentials on my person. That series lasted 7 videos, plus a Highlight Reel, over about a week. My new microphone really brought out my screams of terror. Yes.

Immediately following the conclusion of the REmake 2 challenge run in early April, a new series debuted: A blind let's play of Subnautica! A simply incredible sci-fi survival game set on a planet that's nearly entirely an ocean... But much to my surprise, it was secretly a horror game all along. Spanning 18 episodes + a highlight reel between April 5th and May 23rd, we descended ever deeper into the abyss, deciphered alien riddles, fled from toothy leviathan-class predators, established a lovely home base, and had a great ol' time overall. A truly remarkable game with a surprisingly good story, for its genre, and it left me eagerly looking forward to making a Let's Play of its sequel: Below Zero.

Simultaneously, beginning on April 10th, I embarked upon yet another adventure that was of such a large scope, I made my channel's primary time slot dedicated to it. The Phoenix Wright Trilogy! A collection of the first three Visual Novels in a wonderful, wonderful series about the titular attorney at law. It wasn't long before I fell in love with this series, big time. It had everything! Immensely satisfying mysteries for me to solve, memorable and lovable characters, great pacing, and it knew how to keep things fresh and interesting. Although I started out the Let's Play by saying I wouldn't read everything aloud, that proved to be a lie. As of now, the series is a whopping 78 videos long (I do expect it to reach 100 before all is said and done), and I have given voice to roughly 50 unique characters so far. The series really helped awaken my Let's Play chops by improving my speech, vocal clarity, and focus. Swapping between my first video ever (for Legend of Grimrock II) and the most recent Phoenix Wright video is a real night-and-day difference! Overall, it's very safe to say that the series has stolen my heart. Unmatched hype, dizzying plot twists, and delightful shenanigans burst from the seams, truly. The Let's Play is currently ongoing, though the end is within sight...

As the Let's Plays of Subnautica and Phoenix Wright Trilogy progressed, so too did the production quality of my videos. I got a better grip on editing, improving the design of my video thumbnails and taking more care to edit out needless and dull moments of gameplay. I even introduced a brief and stylish video intro, which was my avatar appearing over a dark background before it faded off into gameplay. That would be the image up above! However, as we move into 2020, I’ve begun to feel that it could do with a slight improvement... Wink wink!

Following the end of Subnautica came a new Let's Play involving yet another sci-fi horror game: Prey! Spanning 25 videos + a highlight reel between June 3rd and November 19th, it immediately gripped me with its stunning attention to detail, marvelously crafted environments, and boundlessly creative gameplay. It was a pleasure to explore the varied regions of the Talos One space station, blasting aliens, uncovering secrets, untangling the connections between the employees there, and making some seriously difficult moral choices. A truly impressive video game that's just begging for a second playthrough on my own time at some point.

July 20th saw the beginning of new activity on my blog. In a spur-of-the-moment decision that I didn't think out too well, I brazenly announced out of nowhere that I would be doing a re-watch of Steven Universe! I proceeded to liveblog the first 11 episodes of Steven Universe over a week, lovingly looking back at the series' origins, calling out moments of foreshadowing, and analyzing everything with the lens of all my knowledge about the show. And then... Nothing! Just as soon as it began, the project was dropped. I had hoped it would rekindle my interest in Liveblogging (outside of new episodes of SU and RWBY), but I had no such luck. You know I'm burnt out when even Steven Universe, my favorite thing ever, can't help...

By September 3rd, the Steven Universe Movie had finally released! Over a hype-as-hell two days, I liveblogged the entire film. It truly was Steven Universe at its absolute best! Touching, sincere, unexpected, and rife with some stellar songs that are STILL stuck in my head. It proved that the Crewniverse hadn't lost its spark since the conclusion of the original series.

November 5th was my 25th birthday! My family celebrated by all going out for an amazing sushi dinner. Good times! Sometimes, it's really hard for me to grasp that I'm actually 25... I'm a kid at heart, really! Or maybe it's that I'm a social recluse who enjoys watching anime a little too much. Regardless, I feel no shame!

November 10th saw the debut of RWBY Volume 7, and so far it has been an exceptionally strong season. I've long maintained the opinion that the show gets better and better every season, and Volume 7 has given me no reason to doubt that. One episode in particular became my second favorite in the series, right behind a certain one from Volume 6! I'm really enjoying how the characters, new and old, are playing off each other this go around, and the fights and art direction have been no slouch either. This season's a looker! I'm really looking forward to seeing how it ends.

Hot on the heels of the ending Let's Play of Prey, I immediately started up a new series on November 20th... Chrono Trigger! A legendary and widely loved JRPG from the SNES era of gaming that I had somehow gone all my life without playing. Better late than never to fix a mistake like that! I eagerly dived in and nearly immediately understood why it's heralded as an all-time great. The series is currently 13 episodes long, and each one is an endless stream of me being hyped and giddy. I’m already excited to record more!

December 8th saw the debut of Steven Universe Future, a very special epilogue series that's sure to tie a nice bow on the franchise as a whole. As of this post, I have liveblogged the first 8 episodes, and it's fair to say that while it's not holding back in giving the audience exactly what it wants, it's also doing something very unexpected and very, very interesting with Steven himself. Only time will tell how it all ends and whether every remaining mystery will be answered, but so far I have been more than satisfied with it.

And that brings us to the present! Wow, it felt like a lot less happened this year than you would think, huh? No, it's been jam packed with new adventures! I think I am very content with how the year has gone, and I hope you are as well. We'll be striding into the year 2020 with more Steven Universe, more RWBY, more Phoenix Wright, and more Chrono Trigger! Plus, it may very well be that we'll see the return of Made in Abyss and Madoka Magica, both of which (I believe) are getting continuation movies in 2020. I may or may not be entirely wrong about this. Forgive me if I am...

In the near future, the Phoenix Wright Trilogy will be followed up by a Let's Play of Fate/Stay Night! Indeed, the canceled Liveblog will be reborn in youtube video form! And following Chrono Trigger, well... It's mostly up in the air, though I do have a few good ideas. In particular, I recently got a Virtual Reality system set up... Wink wink!

So that's really all there is to it! Cheers, lads! Cheers to a good year, and cheers to the next year being even better! To our good health, our unbreakable friendships, and all the stupid bullshit we’ll get into together! 2020 has arrived!

[bobbystompy]

68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019

Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.

John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’

New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould

2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”

3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz

4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert

5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez

6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”

7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release

8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’

9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”

10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey

11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex

12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party

13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!

A Super Bowl winning exchange.

14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".

Belichick disagreed with it.

Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.

Another Super Bowl winning exchange.

15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur

16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad

17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)

18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”

19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell

20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]

Me: Check out this song I just wrote

[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]

Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass

-- @seanoneal

21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World

22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman

23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’

There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins

24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita

25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale

26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy

27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert

28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’ 

Yes tf I am

People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”

29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp

30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary

31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom

32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were: 

‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”

- @Authoroux

33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully

34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones

35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers

36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

-- Modern Family

37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil

38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”

39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham

40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher

41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.

-- Blink-155

42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”

43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’

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45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos

46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”

47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”

48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’

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49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)

50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham

51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign

52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes

53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019

54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”

55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson 

56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi

57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else

58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary

59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family

60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace

61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country

62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso

63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end

64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.

65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical

66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]

"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking

67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman

68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks

[destiel-love-forever]

Locked Out

Anon asked for this (based on a post from tumblr):

“The lock jammed on the front door of my shitty prewar apartment building so I just spent twenty minutes forcing it open while my very drunk neighbor sat on the steps nodding at my efforts and going “This is fun. Being locked out together. We should hang out more.” // He’s like 6’2 and jacked. At one point he was like “Try a kick. Try… kicking it.” So I donkey kicked it as hard as I could and it did absolutely nothing but he was still like “Wow. More Torque… than I expected. You’ve got a surprising, uh, torque to size ratio.”

Based on this post by @youcantcancelquidditch

Read below or on AO3: Locked Out

Locked Out

When I get home from the library, it’s already nearly three in the morning. I’m dead on my feet with a brain stuffed so full of information on human anatomy that it feels like my skull might split open. The coffee buzz that’s starting to crash isn’t helping my mood. Since my luck is total shit, my key isn’t working. I try to jiggle the lock at the same time as I shove my shoulder against the door, since that sometimes works, but to no prevail.

I throw my head back, squeeze my eyes shut, and silently count to ten. I’m too tired for this shit. 

Pulling my phone out, I call my landlord. The asshole that owns this shitty prewar apartment building almost never answers his phone, always making you leave a message, and it’s rare that he responds to anything - even things like the heat breaking in the middle of winter - within the first 24 hours. 

Still, I hope. 

Then I get his voicemail. 

Through gritted teeth, I tell him that the door is jammed - for the fourth time this month - and that I’m going to end up breaking a damn window if he doesn’t show up soon, because it’s the week of final exams and I need sleep. 

Just as I’m stuffing my phone in my pocket and about to start working on this door again, a loud engine revs behind me. It’s combined with music so loud it thrums inside my chest and a chorus of guys laughing like children. I don’t even have to turn around to know who it is.

Sure enough, “Heeeyy!! Cat guy!” is shouted at me from above the rest of the noise. I tense up and begin to frantically throw myself against the door. The car leaves and the music and laughter fades, leaving me with a silence that I know won't last long. 

“Cat Guy! Wha’s happenin’ man?” he slurs, shouting even though he's right next to me now. 

I turn around to look at him, completely unimpressed. The thing that bothers me the most about my neighbor is how unfairly attractive he is. He's one of those men who literally take your breath away, which pisses me off because I'm a control freak and don't get flustered easily, so my body's response to his bright green eyes and thick eye lashes and tall, muscular body and freckles and worn leather jacket and big hands that cradle his cigarettes so gently that I sometimes wonder what it would feel like if it were me he- anyway - point is, I hate how much my body wants him when I, in fact, do not. 

I don’t even know the man’s name, but I know that he lives in apartment 8, he smokes an awful lot, drinks heavily but only on the weekends and special occasions, and the first day I moved into apartment 7, he caught me in my boxers chasing my cat down the hall. Somehow Mr. Fluffers had figured out how to open the goddamn door. Hence him calling me ‘Cat Guy’ even though it's been four months since that terribly embarrassing day. 

“What's up?” he asks again, either not noticing that I'm not in the mood to talk, or not caring. 

“The lock is jammed.”

“Ah man. That sucks.” He slumps down on the staircase and takes out a cigarette. I watch him as he lights it, takes a drag, releases the smoke, then smiles up at the night sky. I get the feeling he doesn't think this sucks. Not as much as I do at least. 

I stare at him, watching as he casually flicks the ashes off the end of his cigarette. My annoyance gets the best of me and I snap, “How are you so huge and muscular and in shape when you smoke like a fucking chimney.”

He raises one eyebrow, his lips tilting into a smirk. He puts the cigarette out and stands up so that he’s towering over me. I immediately regret saying anything at all. “Well, I’m huge because I was born that way. You think this is bad? I’m only 6’2. My brother’s 6’6. And I’m in shape and muscular because I work out. And I don’t smoke like a fuckin’ chimney. In fact, I don’t smoke very often at all.”

“Almost every time I see you, you’re outside smoking.”

“You ever think that maybe it’s just an excuse to be sitting here when the cute nerd just happens to come home? Usually at the same time every day because he sticks to a routine and is a control freak?”

I open my mouth in shock, then quickly slam it shut. Not knowing what to say, I just turn back to the door, slamming myself against it again. He chuckles under his breath and sits back down in his spot, pulling out a new cigarette. He lights it, takes a drag, puffs out the smoke, and smiles again. It's endearing and I hate him even more because of it. 

I squint out into the dark parking lot of our complex. It’s a small building, just ten units inside, and it’s quiet this late at night. No one around to help. And it doesn't look like apartment 8 wants to help, either. 

With a new wave of determination, I start back on the door. I get down on eye level with the lock and try to wiggle my key slowly inside it, hoping to jostle something free. I don't even know if that's how it works, but it sounds right. 

As if we're friends, he asks, “So, what are you up to on this fine evening?”

I look over my shoulder at him like he's insane. “Trying to get into my fucking apartment.”

“Right. Yes. Of course. I suppose I meant, what were you doing on this fine evening before coming home to find the door jammed.”

“Studying,” I grunt, getting pissed off enough to pull my hand back and slap the door a few times. It does absolutely nothing, but it's a nice release of anger. 

He whistles low and says, “Damn. Do that again.”

“Why? It didn't help anything.”

“No, but I enjoyed it.” When I just roll my eyes and go back to pressing my shoulder against the door, trying to push against it, he asks, “Studying for what?”

“Jesus Christ,” I whisper under my breath, both at the door and at him. 

“You were studyin’ Jesus Christ? Huh. Funny. I didn't peg ya for one of those. Not that there's anything wrong with bible bangers. It's just, like, when I pictured Cat Guy's life, it was never like oh yeah I bet that guy bangs bibles.”

“I am not a bible banger. I was studying Anatomy and Physiology for my final exam tomorrow.” I growl and slap the door again. “And my name is Castiel. Not Cat Guy.”

“Castiel,” he says slowly, testing it on his tongue. Or, at least, trying to. He's slurring too much and butchers it. With a huff, he states, “‘M jus’ gonna call ya Cas.”

“Fine.”

“I'm Dean.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.” When I don't continue the conversation, he chuckles. “So, Cas, how’s Mr. Fluffers?”

My face heats up and I know it must be beat red. I deflect, trying to embarrass him instead. “What kind of person finds out their neighbor’s cat's name before their actual neighbor’s name?”

“The kind who witnessed said neighbor sprinting after a white puff of fur in nothin’ but Star Wars boxers screaming, ‘Mr. Fluffers! Get back here this instant!’ Mr. Fluffers wasn't exactly calling your name back, so it was a lopsided informational session.” 

I just stare at him. He talks fast, especially for a drunk guy, and he’s funny. I have to fight myself so I don’t smile at him because smiling will only encourage his behavior. After clearing my throat twice to make sure it comes out normal, I say, “They weren't Star Wars.”

“Oh yes they were.” He winks at me and shifts so he can pull his shirt up and a corner of his jeans down. “Don't worry. See? Batman. No judgement here.” 

“Oh, lord. Please don’t show me your underwear.” 

He laughs. “I like you, Cas.”

“You barely know me.”

“I should know you, though. I think knowing you is a great idea.” 

Feeling my face flush, I focus back on the door. I slam my shoulder against it a few times, grabbing the knob and giving it shaken-knob-syndrome from how hard I twist and jiggle it. 

Nothing. 

He spreads his arms out, gesturing to the space around us. “This is fun. Being locked out together. We should hang out more.”

With a laugh, I slump down against the door and look at him. “Your definition of fun and mine are very different.”

“What’s your definition of fun?”

“Honestly?”

“I mean, we've already discussed our underwear. Might as well.”

This makes me smile. A real, genuine smile. I'm not sure the last time I've done that. So, I tell him the truth. Because, like he said, he's seen me running down a hall in Stars Wars underwear, yelling at a kitten named Mr. Fluffers. It can't get much worse. 

“I like going to museums and the art gallery. Book stores. Coffee. Bingeing Netflix. Kayaking. Um,” I pause, trying to think. He waits patiently with his head tilted slightly, like he's genuinely interested. That makes me blush again, so I stare at my hands and continue. “So I'm not a writer or very creative or anything but I love going to like poetry readings and slam poem contests and open mics. I’m a logical thinker, not an artist, but it fascinates me to see people who are.”

“Hmm.” His smile is full of secrets and amusement as he turns his chin to look out at the parking lot. It makes me nervous, my belly doing flips, so I hurry back to my feet and start in on the door again. He watches with his head tilted like he’s studying me, the smile on his face growing. 

“Try a kick. Try… kicking it,” he suggests, waving his hand in the general direction of the door. 

He’s still grinning like he knows something I don’t, and between that and my embarrassment that I actually told him the truth about the things I enjoy and he pretty much ignored them, I’m angry enough to actually listen. I take two steps back and donkey kick the door. 

It does absolutely nothing. 

Other than impress him.

“Wow.” He clears his throat, his smile slipping into a look of amazement and confusion. “More torque… than I expected. You’ve got a surprising, uh, torque to size ratio.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, falling back down beside him and burying my face in my hands. 

“No, Cas, I mean it. Like… you gotta tell me where ya learned that. That was badass, man.”

I snort. “It didn’t open.”

“Well, no,” he stands up, crushing a cigarette beneath his boot and wiping his hands on his jeans. “That’s because you didn’t kick in the right spot.”

Before I can ask him what he means, he’s taking two steps back and lifting his leg, kicking it out. His boot slams against the wood near the doorknob and the thing breaks apart. I stand there staring in amazement while he nudges the bottom of the door with his toe, making it swing the rest of the way open. 

He crosses his arms over his chest, resting a shoulder on the doorframe and leaning against it. The smirk on his face, combined with how turned on I am by watching him actually kick down a door, makes me want to lunge forward and kiss him silly. 

“How the hell?” I ask when my voice finally returns. 

“You first.”

I roll my eyes. “Look at me. I’m a twink. My dad put me in kickboxing when he realized I wasn’t going to grow much more than this.”

The way his eyes flash makes me blush, the realization that I just used gay slang to describe my body type making me want to disappear. 

“Funny,” he says in a low voice, pushing off the doorframe so he’s no longer blocking the entrance. 

Shoving my hands in my pockets to hide that they’re shaking, I walk past him and into the apartment building with my eyes focused on the floor. “What’s funny?” I ask, attempting to sound nonchalant and miserably failing. 

Two hands settle on my waist, heavy and warm, as his front presses into my back. I shiver when he whispers against the shell of my right ear, “Twinks are just my type. Especially nerdy ones who like open mics and have mischievous cats and wear Star Wars boxers.”

I sink into his hold, thankful he’s behind me so he can’t see the stupid grin glued to my face. “Funny.”

“What’s funny?” he asks in a teasing voice, playing along. 

“I fit that description perfectly.”

“No way!” he gasps, then turns me around so he can look in my eyes. “You know what this means, right?”

Honestly having no idea, I shake my head at him and shrug. “What?”

He licks his lips slowly, giving me time to track his tongue as it travels. When he pulls his tongue in, his upper teeth ever so slightly pull at his full bottom lip before letting go. Then his mouth turns into the most amazing smile I think I’ve ever seen. “When we fall madly in love with each other and decide to move in, we’re getting the fuck out of this shitty apartment building.”

The words surprise me, making me throw my head back from the force of my laughter. When I finally calm down, wiping my face clean of a few stray tears, I nod and say breathlessly, “Sounds like a deal.”

“Cool.” He grabs my hand and pulls me along, heading toward our adjacent doors. “First date is tomorrow. I’m playing the open mic at Blue’s Cafe. 9 o’clock.”

My heart lurches and I nearly swoon. “What do you play?”

“Guitar. And I sing.” He looks over his shoulder, shooting me a wink. “You have no chance, Cat Guy. Prepare to fall hard.”

For the first, and probably only, time, I’m thankful for my shitty landlord and his apartment’s jammed lock. 

[diningpageantry]

tag game(s)

anï (i’m too exhausted to do three separate posts but i was tagged in three tag games over the past few days and i’d forgotten to do the last few games i was tagged in and i feel super guilty so here they are in one go)

i don’t know who to tag to do these rn because my brain is dead i am emotionally exhausted and i’m writing a fic that’s about halfway done so i’m gonna say tag anyone who wants to be tagged for any of these. i’m so sorry that i’m dead, i will be back alive again after may 10th, which is my AP exam day

six questions challenge

tagged by @simon--speaks

rules: answer the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Q1: Relationship status?

single bby

Q2: Favorite color?

maroon !

Q3: Top 3 ships?

snowbaz (wow) and uh. wow. idk who else. i wanna say my own ocs matchstick and summer (is that allowed? i’m making it allowed)

Q4: Lipstick or chapstick?

whenever i get to this question in any ask i freeze up because i use a tinted chapstick so i don’t look dead but like. it can also be seen as a lipstick because it has pigment. but. chapstick.

Q5: Last song I listened to?

Run by Hozier

Q6: Last movie I watched?

uhhh i watched like. 5 minutes of the emperor’s new groove a few days ago, and watched a documentary about obscure houses like 10 minutes before that. so. i’m gonna say the house documentary.

21 questions

i was tagged by @simon--speaks, @angelsfalling16, @wo2ash, @alixanderthequeer, @sharkmartini and @bazypitchandsimonsnow

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people

nickname: anï, munchkin, menina, and my hebrew name is elisheva

height: the doctor says i’m 5′3.5″, but they can’t put fractions on IDs so according to the state i’m 5′4″ and i cling to that

last movie i saw: see above (so like. funky houses)

last thing i googled: (next town over) movie tavern. i’m not saying where it is exactly bc hah i don’t wanna be stalked but. i was looking at movie times because they have $5 movies every tuesday

favorite musician: frank iero. love that funky rat man and his funky music too (i’m gonna see him for the second time next month because i made the executive adult decision to say fuck it to my seizures and go see him anyway)

song stuck in my head: i don’t have one rn but usually it’s a song by the killers (when you were young is a usual one)

other blogs: none, actually! i didn’t delete my old tumblr purely bc i’m a nostalgic dumbass, but it’s a completely different login and it’s inactive so i don’t count it.

followers: 1,666 (originally i wasn’t gonna share the number but it hit this last night and i was like heh. nice)

following: 231

amount of sleep: 8ish hours! (spring break bby)

lucky numbers: 7, multiples of 3 (only in cases of knocking), and multiples of 2 (only in cases like volume)

dream job: writing and illustrating books! i have a variety of dream jobs within art, and even within the subcategory of books, but my top dream job is creating inclusive/diverse children’s books that represent a variety different ethnicities/races, religions, abilities, and identities so that children can see themselves represented in media

what i’m wearing: a black turtleneck, a bra, and marvel boxers. that’s it.

favorite food: soup in general. i make a kick ass matzo ball soup

language: english, conversational portuguese, i know a small small bit of japanese (i should know more given i was raised being taught it but i always struggled with it), and i know some spanish. i also plan on teaching myself ASL.

can i play an instrument: yes! i’ve been playing violin since i was 2. i wanna play guitar and i know some chords but i have small hands so it’s hard to find one that’s the right size that isn’t a shitty children’s guitar, and i sing! i’m an alto

favorite song: hnnghg please don’t make me pick................ i’d have to say choke on one another by death spells

random fact: so like. if you didn’t know already, i’m an LGBTQ+ youth activist on a national scale. i disappear on occasion because i’m doing something or another, and sometimes i post about it on my blog (speaking of i have exciting news that i heard, but at the same time, i’m pretty much booked every weekend from middle of next month until middle of july), but........ i hate networking. i loathe it. if i never had to network again, i’d be thrilled. networking is my absolute least favorite thing because i struggle at everyday conversation, much less networking with people at least 10-20 years my senior. sure it’s usually free publicity and i get great connections, but god. at what cost? and like.... it’s always after a really emotionally taxing event, so i’m already drained and then wow here’s a room full of adults who want my 18 year old input. please. just let me steal a cupcake then leave.

describe yourself in aesthetic things: dye stained fingernails and necks. cranked open windows during a spring shower. dried tears and breaking laughs. coffee stains and milky tea splashes. trembling fingers, writing instead of speaking because you’re too afraid, and finally breaking free--running through the rain. scabbing blood, fresh piercings. knowing you’re loved and not saying it because it doesn’t need to be spoken. the smell of a new canvas, paint splattered jeans, and art school sweaters. black skirts with docs, then fairy lights and soft blankets hidden behind sharp profanities and harsh disgust. the unexpected. the unknown. the ever-changing, unstoppable force of the shifting tides. 

carry on questions

tagged by @goodbyedandelion, @isthisisagoodkiss @wo2ash, 

1- favorite type of scone? 

cranberry orange! one of the farms a county over has a market and they sell them there and they’re to die for (altho, i found a sour cherry scone recipe that i’ve perfected and my family loves them so they’re a close second now)

2- london or la?

i’ve never been to london, but i’m gonna have to go with london. i went to la last october to present in an awards show for my organization and i lowkey was underwhelmed. i’m very much a gloom and rain kinda person, and it was too dry and sunny there. although, i did think the huge succulents were sick as fuck. but yeah definitely london. i’m planning to spend a semester abroad there in a few years for an illustration program

3- kissing in a forest or holding hands under the stars?

i’m afraid of forests because we have a lot of wildlife and i don’t want to get mauled by a bear don’t mind me holding hands under the stars :)

4- jeans or suit?

suit suit suIT SUIT suit. i love wearing suits. my chest doesn’t cooperate and my hips always hate them but god i do love suits.

5- loose hair or pulled back hair?

mine looks better loose, and my sides/back are shaved but the top reaches my ears, so it gets annoying sometimes and i pull it up to keep it out of my face

6- vampires or dragons?

i wanna say both. i used to say “yknow a dragon but in human form would be hot” then i got called dragon fucker for like two years so out of pure spite i’m going with vampires.

7- what saying do you wish could be a spell?

(this one’s a very specific reference so hear me out) “i’ve got to go pee on her”  used to disorient and confuse the speech of the person casted upon. it’s one of my favorite quotes from scott pilgrim vs. the world (my favorite movie ngl) when scott’s brain can’t figure out two different sentences and he just says that. it’s so good and just fuckin weird that i love it.

8- which carry on character would you go on a coffee date with if you could?

depends tbh! if we’re talking date date, then penny because i would wife penny in 0.5 seconds, but if we’re talking friends getting coffee then 10000000% baz because i’d talk activism and identities with him

9- favorite carry on quote?

“he told me we would be stars” (i don’t have my book on me so i could be getting the line wrong), but it hit so hard for me. like it’s clear how davy manipulated lucy so much that she fell into it and couldn’t crawl out. it’s such a powerful message of control from those who are charismatic enough to hold it, and how sometimes we aren’t weak enough to let go.

10- how excited are you for wayward son?

lemme paint this picture: i started hyperventilating in the hallway when i found out, and then cried an hour or two later when my friend texted me that he preordered me a signed copy. like. i’ve been pre-planning how to get home from college to come and pick it up (okok the 24th is also my dad’s birthday so i’m. um. “coming home to visit him”, of course) because i’m just SO EXCITED to read them again in a canon way :’)

[andallwaswell-ish]

Yours, Draco - day 1 & 2

Hi folks! I decided to post an advent fic this year!

I’ll post the new chapter here and on AO3 every day =)

I was quite sick yesterday, so here are the first two chapters!

day 3 / day 4 / day 5 / day 6 / day 7 / day 8 / day 9 / day 10 / day 11 / day 12 / day 13 / day 14 / day 15 / day 16 / day 17 & 18 / day 19 / day 20 / day 21 / day 22 / day 23 / day 24 / day 25 / day 26

Potter,

Hermione told me where you are. Please don’t be mad at her, I’ve been bothering her about it for months now.

I know you needed to get away from everything and I’m probably the last person you want to have contact with. But I just had to write.

I just want to apologize, ok? I never got the chance to do it, everything was a mess right after the battle and then you left. I didn’t even get the change to thank you for testifying for mother and I.

Thank you. Also for the other things. For coming back for me in the fire, for killing him, for not dying. I think believing you can defeat him was the only thing that kept many people sane during the war.

I knew you could beat him when you used that curse on me in the girls bathroom. I knew you could do what was necessary. I’m sorry you had to do it, I’m sorry what it did to you, but I’m still grateful.

As for apologizing: I actually made a list with all the things I want to apologize for. I started it after the trials and I went and talked to all the people I hurt. I apologized for every bad thing I did. It was hard, but also good. Some people forgave me, like Hermione. Some just accepted it. I started all over with some people like Ginny. Some can’t forgive me and I accept that. I understand that. It still helped. I started to forgive myself. I started to process what happened.

I’m better now than I ever was, at least that’s what my mind healer and my friends say. But I haven’t apologized for everything on my list. I haven’t apologized to you. It feels incomplete. Which is probably the only reason why Hermione told me where to send this owl.

I really hope you’re still reading this and haven’t ripped the letter yet because here we go:

I am sorry for bullying you and your friends for years. I couldn't understand why you would like them but not me. I hated you for that. So I hated you for everything else. I am so sorry for everything I said, especially about your parents and blood purity. I was raised to believe that I was better than others because of my blood. Which made you not wanting to be friends with me even harder. In my logic, someone like you should have been happy if someone like me wanted to be their friends. I know better now. I know how lucky I am that people like Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna, George, Cho and Neville want to be friends with me. The worth of people isn’t determined by their blood or heritage or name. Not even by what they achieve, but by their heart.

I am sorry for hurting you so many times. I saw the scars on your hand after detention with Umbridge but I rattled you out anyway. I petrified you and stomped on your nose. I tried to use an Unforgivable on you. Only to name a few. I’m sorry for hurting you and others. When I’m angry or scared or frustrated, when my emotions get too much, I want to hurt people. Others and myself. I haven’t done that for years now. I’m kickboxing now, it helps.

Last but not least: I am sorry for taking the Dark Mark and doing what he said. I know you know why I did it, but I still wanted to apologize for it. For everything I did during the war. For letting Death Eaters into Hogwarts. For getting so many people killed. For setting Crabbe and Goyle on you in the Room of Hidden Things. For being a coward during the battle. For not even fighting for the right side when there was no chance he could win and punish me for it. And I’m sorry for asking you to testify for my father. I’m glad you didn’t.

That’s it. You don’t have to forgive me. You don’t even have to accept the apologize or answer my letter. This was a closure I needed, I’m sorry if I upset you.

Hermione actually hopes this letter could get you to start processing everything. She still hopes you’re coming back any moment.

Yours, Draco Malfoy

Are you and Hermione an item?

Hi Potter,

wow, what a long, polite and well formulated letter!

Just kidding, I’m actually pretty thrilled you answered at all.

As for your question, the short answer is no.

Long answer: Hermione and I became really close friends. We’re working together at the Ministry and when Blaise and Ron got together, we became good friends. She knows so much about me, nearly as much as my mind healer.

I guess she’d be really good girlfriend material if it weren’t for two factors: Hermione isn’t looking for a relationship in any way. Like at all, no boyfriend/girlfriend, no casual sex. She says she’s just not feeling like it. I don’t think I could go without sex for a long time. Which leads me to factor number two: I am gay. So Hermione is lacking some parts I’m rather fond of...

So no, we’re not an item.

Mother heard I’m writing you a letter and told me to give you her love. So yeah…

It feels weird ending this letter here. It doesn’t feel like a letter if it’s under 3 inches.

You probably don’t want to hear anything about work, too much politics.

We had a reunion from our Hogwarts year last weekend. The beginning was awful. Five years is not enough time to not see the missing faces. It’s not enough time to make the sadness fade or the scars normal. Lavender Brown put glitter on her scars. She looked beautiful. Dean Thomas hugged her for 5 minutes. He said he wants to paint her. Have you seen his art? I was at his last exhibition, it was stunning. Anyway, after an hour or so of crying and awkwardness we decided to play quidditch. You should have been there, it was hilarious. Half of those folks hasn’t been on a broom since flying lessons with Hooch. And the rest was just a mess. Especially Blaise, he’s a good flyer, but the only thing he did was staring at Ron's arse. (Even after 4 years of dating…) We had like four really good people, but all in different positions so we ended up no playing in our positions to keep it fair. It was frustrating to say the least. We ended the game after 3 hours, neither Lisa nor Terry caught the Snitch. It took me 10 minutes to get it afterwards (it was a practise snitch and they still didn’t manage to get it.) You should have been there, it would have been way more fun to play against you.

I’m playing every week with people from work, so I’m not out of practice. Hermione told me you’re flying a lot, so it’d be pretty interesting to see if you’re still better than I am or if I could finally beat you to the snitch!

See, now it looks like a letter!

Yours, Draco Malfoy

I missed so much. Even if I wanted to come back, I don’t think I could.

Best regards to your mother

[1-800-444-tune]

Open for Tarot Readings and Astrology/Numerology Reports

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You can choose absolutely any reading from this list that you'd like me to do or if you've found one online that you like then tell me the detailing of it the how-to and maybe provide a screenshotting of one and it's questions, then I will do my best to provide you with that exact service then! See, I'm so not hard to get along with, I of love and light, I am here to just assist people and get them through tough times! You're top priority and my problems are not even in my mind when I giving a paid reading I do my job and do it very very well, there's absolutely noo way that you'll want to say you didn't get your money's worth, I totally worth this! I have been doing reading in tarot fir ten years so I think I am actually just a bit experienced yup, so come on down, don't be shy, tel me all about your issue and the type of reading you'd like and we will get to it and give you some damn answers yeah?

[starf]

StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2018

Ah yes, it’s time for the one time a year that I use Tumblr these days. We’re already roaring well into 2019 but it’s about that time that I let you know my top ten picks for the previous year! For anyone new here, if you’re screaming “BUT IT’S MID-FEBRUARY!” you can cool your jets, because I always wait a month or so to let any late-year straggler releases really set in, and give everything time to breathe. I wouldn’t want to include an album just because it was recent in memory, or exclude anything by jumping the gun!

As I type this I want you to know that I haven’t at this moment solidified my top ten. I have a rough idea, but it’s tough this year, let me tell you. 2018 had SO MANY great releases, and so many consistent releases, that it’s painful for me to only choose ten. But alas, that’s the system that I’ve chosen, and so ten must emerge. Here they are:

10. The Grammar Club - Live Slow. Die Whenever.

2018 marked the return of The Grammar Club in a big way. They had previously resurrected the project through the use of Patreon, but this was the official release of a bunch of the songs that came out of that (and I believe a handful of songs that weren’t released on Patreon? I’m not entirely sure). In any case, Live Slow. Die Whenever. is a goddamn hit factory. Eclectic topic material, catchy hooks, and powerful delivery have made this album a mainstay in my rotation all year.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

9. MC Frontalot - Net Split or, The Fathomless Heartbreak of Online Itself

Speaking of the return of notable nerdcore artists, MC Frontalot finally released his new album! Previously teased simply as The Internet Sucks it took on what is quite the mouthful of a title and an absolutely amazing cover. Net Split is an interesting album for me personally because it is actually very similar to a concept that I wanted to do years ago, which is to make an album examining how the internet has affected and changed culture through a sociological lens. Net Split isn’t quite as analytical as that description would make it sound, but it is essentially the same idea: a collection of songs examining and criticizing the internet. They are well written, bitingly relevant, and incredibly catchy. The once-eponymous Internet Sucks has gotten stuck in my head probably once every couple days since I first heard it.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

8. Cursive - Vitriola

This album came as a complete shock to me in the greatest of ways. One day I was browsing my local record shop and saw on the “New Release” board that Cursive had released a new album. I bought it immediately, and didn’t regret a thing. Where Net Split takes a hard look at the internet and what it’s done to us, but in a light and fun way, Vitriola takes a look at society with a sneer and a scowl. This album is dark, moody, and will suck you into its world immediately and not let you go.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

7. EURINGER - EURINGER

If you’re sad that Mindless Self Indulgence hasn’t released an album since 2013 then rejoice, because EURINGER is gonna be your fix. A new project from Jimmy Urine, this album surely feels like the next logical step from MSI while also breathing some new life of its own. A journey through a warped mind, this album takes its turns being completely in your face and completely wrapped up in its own world. Built like some sort of psychotic 80′s pop fantasy for the modern day, this album surely won’t be for everyone, but it’s a slice of heaven for those it is for.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

6. Marc With A C - Obscurity

Would it be a StarF top ten list if it didn’t include a Marc With A C album? It would, but it wouldn’t be a very good one! Obscurity is the latest and best album to date from Marc With A C, and there’s good reason for that. To put it short this is the album Marc has wanted to make for quite some time, and now that it’s here it’s clear to see that there was a reason that this was the one. The content walks the line perfectly between light hearted and deadly serious. It’s funny, it’s touching, it’s got something to say, and it’s going to do all of these things in songs that you’re going to be singing by your second spin of the record.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

5. Supercommuter - Trash World

2018 truly was the year of comebacks, wasn’t it? After seven long years of waiting the third Supercommuter album finally came out and I’m happy to report that the wait was worth it! Trash World takes everything Supercommuter has been doing with the first two albums and continues to expand and elevate the universe they live in. Wheelie Cyberman is sharp as ever both in performance and storytelling aptitude, and the vibe of this album is incredibly cohesive. I am also a huge fan of this cover art, I feel compelled to add in.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

4. Mother Mother - Dance And Cry

There’s always one album that’s gotta be difficult for me to link to, and this year it’s Mother Mother. How are you gonna have only one of your albums available on Bandcamp and it’s not the most recent one? I digress though, because Dance And Cry is absolutely incredible. It’s weirdly hard to put into words why I love this album so much, but it just makes me feel a way, you know? The title is a perfect summation of what this album has to offer you: upbeat, danceable pop songs that are somewhere between crying because life is hard and because life is beautiful. This album will move you physically and emotionally.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

3. Wordburglar - Rhyme Your Business

If Mother Mother is going to have you crying while dancing, Wordburglar is here to get you smiling. Also look at that, two Canadian artists in a row, wow! It’s no secret that I love Wordburglar, and to be honest over the last few years he’s become one of my all time favorite rappers. He’s incredibly talented as a lyricist and rapper with an immediately identifiable style. I really cannot say enough good things about him and this album. It’s fun, it’s upbeat, it’s inspiring, and it’s just the tip of the iceburg... if you’ll pardon the pun.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

2. Antarctigo Vespucci - Love In The Time Of E-Mail

Let me plead my case before I even start talking about this album, because some of you might think I automatically throw anything Jeff Rosenstock or Chris Farren related onto my list and that’s why this is here. You’re wrong! Case in point: Antarctigo Vespucci’s previous record, Leavin’ La Vida Loca didn’t even appear on my list for the year that it came out! Not that I didn’t enjoy that record, but it didn’t really “grab” me immediately, so to speak.

...That was not the case for Love In The Time Of E-Mail, which grabbed me immediately and refused to let go. This album is 43 minutes of power pop madness that will drive its tunes straight into your brain’s core and leave them there to repeat over and over and over again. I can’t stop returning to this album because sure enough each day I wake up with one of the 15 songs in my head. It’s also weird to see that a real trend of 2018, at least on my top ten, is albums that are specifically focused on the internet and what it’s doing to us.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

1. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

...oh come on, is anyone even surprised? Listen, it’s the same case as I said above, I wouldn’t include this on my list at all if I didn’t truly feel it belonged here. But here’s the deal: POST- dropped as a surprise on January 1st of 2018. The FIRST day of the year, and over a year later I am still listening to it regularly and finding new reasons to fall in love with this album. I love it for many of the same reasons I love the AV album (big surprise there), but while it shares the same catchy qualities of Love In The Time Of E-Mail, it also does so with a reckless fervor. POST- is an emotional explosion and reaction to our times, and while it may not be my favorite Rosenstock record, it is the perfect record for the time it exists within.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

[darlingsdream]

My Story With Voltron and Season Seven Thoughts

So, this is the first time I’ll be posting something personal on here about my story with Voltron and how I feel about it. It’s going to be long, and yeah, trigger warning.

A year ago, I was in a very, very bad place mentally. I was learning a lot about who I was personally and dealing with a lot of losses and emotional baggage. As a very young child, I was very into the original Voltron. I loved that stuff, however, when I grew older I didn’t stick to it and didn’t hear about the new reboot of it. Last year, one of the biggest things I was dealing with was my sexuality. Hi, I’ve recognized I’m BISEXUAL! And I’m very proud! But, I found it very hard to accept that about myself last year, seeing as my family did not approve of that stuff. I always lost myself in LGBT members in TV shows because I felt like I could relate to the characters and they helped me get through my emotional stuff. I would hyperfocus on them to drown out the very, very bad stuff I was going through.

One day while scrolling through YouTube, I came across a Klance edit. I did not know what show they were from, and genuinely believed they were a cannon gay couple. I fell in love with them instantly and began watching more video of them on YouTube. After my spree, I looked it up and figured out they were from the new Voltron reboot! I was like, woah! A voltron reboot? A gay couple, in a child’s cartoon? I was DEAD SET IN LOVE with the show right off the bat. I watched all four seasons that were out at the time and yeah, realized Klance wasn’t a cannon ship. I fell in love with the plot, characters, ships, and fandom though.

Voltron gave me something to take my mind off how bad of a situation I was in. It gave me something to hyperfocus on and fall in love with. I’ve met so many nice and friendly people through the fandom, people that understand me! The fandom is so amazing with great content? Like, the fics? Amazing! Art? Stunning! I loved the VA’s immediately and even recognized them from shows I used to watch! I became so involved with Voltron and progressively found myself getting happier and happier as I met new people, found myself, found relatable content and happy spaces to put myself into. Long story short, Voltron saved me from a shit filled situation. I’ve loved Voltron so, so much.

For the past three seasons, I’ve stayed up just to watch them immediately. I’ve worked on many fan fictions and read AMAZING ones by BEAUTIFUL writers!

You could only imagine my SHOCK when I heard there would be LGBT rep! Something I personally struggle with, even now! I cried when I found out Shiro had a male fiancé when he was on Earth! It made me so, so happy!

So, here is where my issues start...

You can tell I’ve loved Voltron whole heartedly for a very long time. Yeah?

This season, season 7, hurt me in more ways than one. It was written poorly compared to the other seasons in my opinion. The episodes where a bit everywhere and the villains were out there! The time warps were confusing, and having twenty new characters thrown at you at once is confusing! Especially when the show is close to ending. Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of good things in this season! An amazing and well deserved Hunk arc, Lance’s strong and smart sister! The Paladins all being with their families! Shiro getting a new arm! Major Paladin and Lion bonding! Keith loves his mom!

But, there was just as much bad things as good things... I’ll start with the plot, so people won’t think I’m shitting on a show I’ve adored for MONTHS because “MY SHIP DIDNT BECOME CANNON”. Because that’s not it.

The plot was, for this season, confusing! The space stuff happening was weird. And, as someone who has an 8 YEAR OLD SISTER who watches this show, she was startled by the hostility Keith began showing the fellow Paladins during their “space madness”. The game show episode, while supposed to be a tension breaker, was useless in the long run and more of an aggravating spit run than anything else. Like, it was nice seeing Zarkon, Haggar, and Lotor! As a family! But odd, we never got an explanation as to how. Then we have everyone bashing on Lance, poor lance, for being an idiot, which he is not. As well, Voltron is captured TWICE this season... never had that happened and the way they always get out of the trouble seemed very OP.

Now, I’ll go into characters. Shiro: a supposed LGBT member, handicap, suffers from PTSD, and is of a different race, gets put through the RINGER in EVERY SEASON. They have done this character dirty, I’m not even going to lie. It’s not “character development” to throw your character around like that and kill it a hundred times but allow it to still live. Poor Shiro has barely had ANY good luck through out this show! Then, they go and say, he’s an LGBT character... They kill off his ex fiancé? They said there would be a major plot with Adam and Shiro, and I feel like they did both characters dirty. No, Adam’s death was far from heroic. It was a flash death, not even sudden, and people were left confused to it. I’m pretty sure they even referred to Adam as PERSON 1 in the subtitles. Shiro’s grieving of his old partner is so rushed too. We got an entire clip of Pidge sobbing her heart out over her brother, but see barely a flinch as Shiro looks at his ex fiancés grave. You wouldnt even be able to tell they used to be a couple if the producers didn’t say something. I’m sorry, but personally, I can’t count this as LGBT rep when it’s so concealed like this... it hurts, because they hyped the rep up so much and I was so excited, and then shit hit the fan.

Then there is Lance, who we were promised would get development. The only development for him has been on his crush for Allura and it’s painfully obvious. He is used as a joke. The other characters mistreat him... and it’s very hard to watch. This, as a kids show, just shows that it’s okay to be rude and make fun of other people. My younger sister even picked up on this and said the way Lance is treated by everyone, especially his sister, is bad! The whole gameshow episodes they kept calling the poor teen Dumb and Stupid. Like, jeez, that’s kind of damaging? They even showed that Lance has many insecurities and yet, they don’t go any further about it. He cries? No one comforts him. He’s worried? People shoot him down. He tries to help others? He gets yelled at that he can’t do things right or disregarded. It goes to show as a regular trope kids are taught today, it’s bad for boys to have emotions! It’s like it doesn’t even matter! It agitates me so much...

Then, Keith. Keith is my favorite character, he’s gotten SO MUCH development. More than anyone else... which, I kind of dislike.. but, his personality was totally screwed over this season! They changed him completely, and it’s sad to see! Sure, he grew up, but there is literally NOTHING left of his old character!

Now, I guess it’s time for the major controversial ship talk.... this, is a fucking WRECK. The producers of Voltron said that romance wasn’t going to be a big thing in the show. In my honest opinion, they shouldn’t have done ANY romance, no Adam and Shiro, no Allura and Lance, no nothing. They’ve gone about it all wrong, and it’s just disappointing and UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

I’ll start with Allurance. I, originally, liked Allurance. But now, it’s so over done, it’s so awkward, forced, and uncomfortable! The past six seasons, we’ve seen Lance have a meaningless crush on her. I don’t see what’s so great about her to him? He said she makes him want to be a better person, but, anyone on team Voltron makes him try harder, honestly! It just seems so stupid! And now, that lotor is out of the way, Allura all of a sudden shows interest in him? No build up? No back story? Just random blushing and caring? It sounds like a rebound! I mean, yes, I understand peoples feelings can change, but this? They’ve gone about it ALL WRONG! As well? They have said Allura doesn’t get an endgame, but Lance does? This makes no sense. They have also said for Lance’s endgame: he ends up with someone he NEEDS, not WANTS, the person he ends up chose him as a first choice! This doesn’t sound like Allura, yet, they keep pushing it on their interviews and it’s just awkward! This ISNT slowburn!!!!

Finally, Klance. Yeah, I’m upset... very upset actually. They make Lance like Allura violently and now Axca is randomly showing up and now Keith is HET? Yeah... I don’t get it. I don’t get why they made all those unnecessary Klance moments now. Bonding moment? Elevator scene? Comforting? The soft looks? The concern? The colors in the backgrounds? The built up from rivals to friends to co-leading? They were getting along so well, it was so nice! I really thought that they were the slowburn relationship the cast was so excited and quiet about! It seemed so right! But then, Keith left for the blade, and in the shipping panel they said Keith and Lance were soulmates and they wished they could have seen that earlier. I was hurt. Beyond hurt. When Keith came back, I was disappointed. They changed Keith’s personality so much... he was rude and snapping at Lance, I was like, woah? And then when Keith was rude to Allura and Lance told him he should have just stayed away? That hurt! During the game show when Lance and Keith picked each other to leave, I felt so happy! I was like, wow, they care so much for each other! Lance was so earnest with his response! He made such a soft expression and said Keith was like the future! But then Keith ruined the entire moment and said he just picked Lance because he didnt want to spend an eternity with him! Like, what? What happened to the Keith that hung onto their bonding moment? Why was he so snappy? I am so confused why they built up a nice friendship and then we get THAT from them! It seems so.. wrong now! I am hurt over it, like, genuinely. I don’t even care if they weren’t going to be in a relationship! They could have been AMAZING friends, but they ruined that! They made their friendship seem so toxic!

After this season, I’ve honestly lost my passion and fire for Voltron... I’m so disappointed and sad. Not just because of ships, but plot as well.

I also would like to say as a side note: it’s okay for people to watch a show just for ships. That’s their interest, let them do what they want and don’t attack them... we all have our personal reasons for stuff!!!

[emeto-things]

My Emet Story

I’m going to try to make this the least triggering as possible. The reason I’m sharing this is to tell you guys you aren’t alone, and to maybe give you comfort in the fact I think/act just as “weird” as you do (:

I’m currently 15 years old, and to be totally honest, I can’t remember a day without emetophobia. My earliest memory with emetophobia is when I was probably about 6-7.

I was at the mall with my mom, sister and grandma and we all got coffee and a cookie and the cookies are pretty big, especially for a little 6 year old. But I ate it, and then my stomach hurt a little afterwards. I don’t remember being scared I just remember not feeling good. Then, we got in the car to pick up my brother and cousin from school and I think I was maybe drawing in the car? This was before I realized I had an issue with motion s*ness. So then I started to feel even worse - still not scared though. But randomly, I was listening to my mom and cousin’s conversation and my cousin said the word “g*” and I just remember I started breathing heavily and my heart started pounding and I clenched on to my sister saying “oh my gosh!!! I’m scared i’ll get s*!!!” Thankfully I didn’t, but when I got home I remember laying on the couch crying. That was the first memory I had of being scared of s*ness.

Then it kinda disappeared, I didn’t ever think about being s* other than when I didn’t feel good which is probably like most people.

Then I was about 7 years old, and it had snowed for the first time of the year. I was outside with my siblings and I ate a TON of it which wasn’t smart and apparently you aren’t supposed to eat the first snow? I don’t know if that’s a myth or not but either way I didn’t know it back then and my parents weren’t watching me. I may have even possibly eaten around where my dog had peed (Gross, I know). I literally made a meal off of snow that day. That night, I v*ed and it was my earliest memory of v*ing other than when I was much smaller and had another s*ness which I barely remember. But I wasn’t really scared then either, I just felt horrible.

As you can probably already tell, I’ve had emetophobic tendencies in me forever (the crying, rapid breathing, racing heart, and being scared) isn’t typical reactions people that v* have. But my real phobia didn’t start until 2011 when I was 8.

A normal flu (not v* but respiratory flu) was going around and my brother had caught it. I was sleeping peacefully one night in my bedroom that was dreadfully right next to the bathroom - so basically I heard everything that went on in the bathroom, pretty gross, I know. But the sound of my brother v*ing woke me up that night. I didn’t know what was going on but a strange fear took over me again, same as when my cousin said the triggering g* word. Obviously back then I didn’t know such a phobia existed, and I didn’t know my feelings over v* were abnormal.

I ran into my parents room and woke my mom up to ask her what was going on. She told me that my brother was purposely making himself v* because it made him feel better? I still don’t understand but that’s why. I just remember peering over my moms bed to see the light in the bathroom shining out the door as I was uncontrollably shaking. My parents thought I was overreacting a little bit but again, I thought it was normal.

I stayed up the rest of the night in total fear that it was going to happen to me. And the fact that he was making himself do it didn’t register with my 7 year old brain - I still thought it was a contagious thing even though it wasn’t. Then a few hours went by and my throat began to get sore. I had came down with the flu too.

My mom told me it was nothing to worry about because v*ing wasn’t a part of it and again tried to convince me my brother purposely did it and it wasn’t part of his illness. The whole time of having that flu, I was scared. Thinking any minute that I would v* too. Thankfully, my mom was right and it didn’t happen. After the flu went away I was back to my normal self, not thinking about v* ever.

Then in 2013 when I was 10, it started back. I was in the pool that summer and my mom came outside to tell my dad who was supervising me in the pool, that my brother had just v*ed and I remember jumping out of the pool and screaming and crying. I ended up calming down and then I was mostly okay again for a long period of time.

The fall of 2013 got really tough, I remember every time I’d get in the car I would become worried i’d get car s* which is something I never thought about before. I remember sitting in the middle row of the car just crying and whining that I was nervous of getting s*. My mom convinced me over & over that car s*ness doesn’t happen from just sitting there and watching out the windows but I didn’t believe her.

Towards the end of 2013 around Christmas time, I remember isolating myself in my bedroom telling myself over and over “I won’t be s*, I won’t be s*, I won’t be s*” and I was scared to take a shower because just being in a bathroom caused me to freak out.

I would take a shower every 5 days and being 10 almost 11, my hair would get so oily and I wouldn’t smell very good but I couldn’t bring myself to go in the bathroom longer than to pee.

I would take a shower with the door cracked open and my mom outside and I’d rush so fast to get out of the bathroom because I associated bathrooms with v*. Then my phobia kinda disappeared again.

Being 11 was probably my best age, I don’t remember the thought of v* ever even coming to my mind, I was a very happy 11 year old.

I was in an art class, I had some great friends who I hung out with a lot, I made a fan twitter account for my favorite band and I had a lot of online friends I’d chat with, i started editing videos of my favorite band and posting them to YouTube and overall had an amazing year. That all took a turn for the worst in 2015.

The end of 2014 I got my first period. My mom had never taught me about it, I had only heard a little bit from my sister and mom talking occasionally and from googling things when I’d be upset my friends knew about it and I didn’t.

My period made my anxiety way worse which as I said, I didn’t know ANYTHING about the affects periods have on the body.

And I finally got the hang of them around maybe my 3rd period or so, and I had learned a lot about them by then but my anxiety still worsened a lot around that time of the month.

In April of 2015, I went to my art class like I did every week. I was never in love with the class because my teacher was really mean to me but I stuck with it because I wanted something to do. Until one night I woke up feeling horrible. I remember immediately panicking but I somehow fell asleep during my panic attack only to wake up again only a few hours later and feeling even worse. I’m going to spare the details to avoid triggers, but eventually I ended up v*ing. And you’d think, afterwards I’d be like “wow I’m glad that’s over and now I can move on” but no. I knew that very SECOND that this was going to affect me the rest of my life.

I was so dazed. I couldn’t believe it had happened to me. I could literally feel the phobia taking over my body and that everything I would do would be affected.

The next day, I had a small stomach ache which I would usually ignore, but this time I had a strike of anxiety rush through me which was unusual. I ran to my room and hid away from everyone just crying and freaking out until the pain went away.

I then noticed I was overly focussed on bodily sensations. If my stomach had any feeling at all that wasn’t “normal” I’d freak out. If I had a headache, or my throat was tight I’d get scared. If I felt anything even remotely close to how I did when I v*ed I’d be so anxious I would cry and scream.

The summer of 2015 was really good despite my anxiety, it was very minuscule. My emet was with me everywhere I went but not to the point I couldn’t do anything.

In October of 2015, I had my first panic attack. I didn’t know what it was, but I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I also didn’t know anything about panic Attacks so I thought it was a once in a lifetime thing, I didn’t know they were a reoccurring thing. I remember sitting on the couch physically too weak to stand up because of how worn out I was from consistent panic attacks.

In 2016 I developed OCD, meaning I would touch doorknobs a certain number of times or else “I’d be s* that night” and I’d refold clothes until they looked “right” or else I would for some reason v* and it was miserable. I couldn’t even clean my room without getting worn out from repeatedly folding things or straightening my sheets and I would plug and unplug my phone which is really bad for it but my OCD told me to or else I’d be s*.

I also became very paranoid of germs and started limiting the places I went to and anytime I’d go anywhere, I’d be on edge for 3 days because that was how long it took to get s* with the sv* I had so I figured if I made it past 3 days id be fine, but those 3 day I wouldn’t do that much of anything because I was so scared. Certain foods also became an issue, eating eggs would scare me and as soon as I got done eating I’d rush to my computer and google symptoms of fp* and freak out and cry until the magical “6 hours” passed and then I knew I was okay. That was my life every day for a YEAR.

2017, my OCD got miraculously better which has to be a God thing because there’s no human way I did that myself, it’s like God took it away for me and I’m so grateful I don’t struggle without OCD debilitating anhmore!!!

But in 2017 my food issue because horrible. I restricted my diet to basically water, chocolate, granola bars, cereal and ice cream. Junk and more junk which in turn made me feel s*, but then if I ate a real meal with meat I’d be scared. I also started having horrrible sleeping hours due to panicking every night.

Currently in 2018, food is still my biggest struggle and I’m just now gaining back the weight I lost last year and it’s definitely still a struggle but I believe we will all get through this together❤️❤️❤️

** I can definitely relate to the fear of bathrooms. If I felt s* at all, I would avoid them as much as possible because it made it more “real”. I had some OCD tendencies as well. You’re so young and you’ll get over it just like I did!! Good luck <3 **

[duchessofsongbirds]

Month of Spreads 2

Day 7

I meant to do Day 7, but since the longer the week goes on, the less useful the reading will be, I might as well save some energy and let it be my CATCH UP.

Day 8: Energy Drain Spread

My first energy drain is my job! It’s a new job, it’s a field that I have little experience in, and I’m making numbers but not finishing my work. Which is a first for me and kind of frustrating! I’m at my best when I have a purpose and can work towards it with minimal interruptions and that’s not...what happens. I chose the Two of Skulls because in this deck it’s always been a card of yearning, of not living up to one’s potential for whatever reason (because of unrealistic expectations? because daydreaming is easy but work is hard?) and the frustration that arises because of it.

The first step in dealing with this energy drain? Daughter of Knives

"Vampire Town” Empathy Test / “Dreamland” Tessa Rae

You are well-equipped to handle everything this job throws at you. Stop sniveling and wringing your hands. Use your brain. Don’t ask them for what to do as a way to skip over doing work. You’re prepared to do more than they’re asking and it’s slowing you down. Just do it. You need to stop letting others corral you simply because it’s easier. It takes work to make the reflection into reality. And if that’s really worth it, then be fully committed. You know your cause is just. The grey doesn’t matter so much.

Second Energy Drain is money woes!! We both have new jobs and, more significantly, different pay schedules than we’re used to. We get paid weekly now, which necessitates a shift of perspective. When I spend my money and what I buy isn’t the same. We moved in at the middle of the month and while there is prorated rent, it didn’t change the fact that we had to have a full month’s worth of rent two weeks after paying this huge expense. That was a real kick in the teeth! And I’m looking around going, “Wait, I was calculating a bigger influx than I have! Where did it go?” And THEN since we moved cross country, we are lacking things like chairs for the dinner table, and a welcome mat, and rugs and we need new silverware--and it’s all piling up! AND THEN winter is coming and I’ve never lived in a place that sees snow, so I don’t have the clothing or the equipment to deal with it! All of this costs money. And I’m chafing at the bit, but I also know that I can’t be impulsive because I don’t fully have the math down to an art. So, like the Two of Knives, I feel backed into a corner, blind and restrained, all aquiver because I know I’m going to need to use those knives at some point.

First step on dealing with this? Daughter of Grails

“Tetrishead” Zoe Keating

Wow, another Daughter for another Two. I need to have faith that things will work out. I can’t be too caught up in the fantasy (a running theme, I see), but I can be adaptable, enthusiastic, and willing to take a chance. This doesn’t mean I can spend thoughtlessly, but just that I don’t need to agonize over whether a purchase is “wise” or note. Cash flow will be what it will be. The longing that builds within you will to envy and poison you. So drink deep of what you have in the moment. Be where you are, as you are.

And the final energy drain is what I’ll call my unkind suspicions. I know, intellectually, that I’m just drowning myself in victimhood. I refuse to move on from a wound and it’s actively holding us back. Things have gotten better, but I’m determined to cry into my cup and sabotage anything that looks like happiness. And I know it’s hard being the recipient of that, but I never meant to be this person and I never meant to take it back. But I did and I’m still feeling the ripples of that choice today. So the Five of Grails is my wailingly over the top grief and refusal to let go.

How to get over it? Queen of Skulls

“My Manic and I” Laura Marling / “Home” Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Are you kidding? Why worry over that petty bullshit when you’re sitting on that throne? You’ll never have the home you crave if you keep nurturing these suspicions. It will only steal your joy. This isn’t to say that you should be willfully ignorant or to hold back your love for fear of being used again. It simply means that confirmation can be good or bad, negative or positive. Your fear isn’t the voice you should be amplifying.

Day 7’s Post HERE!

Day 8′s Post HERE!

Master Post HERE!

Deck Used: Tarot of the Vampires by Ian Daniels

[murfeelee]

It’s July~! Weekend Replies!

Summer’s like officially here now. Let the good times roll! ^0^

I’m kinda backed up, so bear with me, guys. :P

white-enamel replied to your photoset “Something Wicked This Way Comes - Pt2 Far down the avenue of yews we...”                                                

I just love it!! <3 <3

My fellow sister of darkness! <3 I have to upload that set soon; I said I’d do it today, but I’ve been so effing lazy & distracted; good lord I need help. U_U

Pink Replies

palimpa replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

your sets are sickening awesome! You must have spend so much time work and sweat on it that i would totally share my donuts with you if i could xD

Not even lying I went out and bought a whole box of like 30+ donuts BECAUSE OF YOU! XD They’re almost gone now; I’m disgusted with myself, but I can’t stop eating them!

shhhushhh replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                              

That's one of the cutest posts EVER!    

soloriya replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

how beautiful! ♥__♥

embysims replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

you have the best pic sets!!! so creative and just brilliant

Aw, thank you all~! :3 I seriously doubt that I have the best pics when simmers like pixelsinmyveins & kosmokhaos exist, but it’s nice to dream! ^_^

ashuriphoenix replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

I like Ryu!  Interesting looking sim.                    

Thank you! :D Ryu-San was made in homage to all the long white/platinum-haired anime/game characters I’m in love with -- I have a type (and half of them are evil half demon shapeshifter undead mofos, too, wtf is wrong with me :P ).

My crushes wallpaper (High-res): Sesshomaru & Inuyasha, human!Artemis (Sailor Moon), Emperor Mateus (Final Fantasy 2/Dissidia), Aion (Chrono Crusade), Alucard (Castlevania), Ukitake (Bleach), Inu no Taisho (Inuyasha), Sephiroth (Final Fantasy 7), youko!Kurama (YuYu Hakusho), Undertaker (Kuroshitsuji), dragon!Kija (Yona of the Dawn), Kunzite (Sailor Moon).

simblu replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

So beautiful. What a great theme for a flower sim.                    

I keep telling y’all that Sakura’s a cherry tree faery, and then I realized that I never even bothered to actually make her a flowery PlantSim.  *facepalm* :P I had to fix that, frikkin embarrassing, lol.

packagedblyss replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

I love plantsims flowery tracks ! I'm sad to see them disappear in my game after a while. (I also love those shoes, super cute !)

SAME! :D

kosmokhaos replied to your photoset “Pink, Like the Paradise Found  Let’s count the ways we can make this...”                                                

😂😂😂😂 Now I'm singing the song I love it                    

My frikkin anthem lately, LOL XD

palimpa replied to your post “20 Questions Tag”

Who’d You Most Like to Have Lunch With? “Oprah. Preferably while she hands me a check for a couple million dollars, amirite." 🤣 👏 Who wouldn't?                   

I KNOW, RIGHT!?!

lifeasasim replied to your post “20 Questions Tag”

Hahahahah love this                    

lifeasasim replied to your post “20 Questions Tag”

I saw the shadowhunter tag before I read the post and knew it was you xP

You are wise and experienced, that’s why! XD

Malec Replies

(See what I did there, y’all? ;) )

alice-and-white-lapin replied to your photoset “Yasumi no Edo - Pt3 (Machi wo Mistete Kudasai!)  For their last day in...”                                                

Your Malec family's fan art is so cute and I love it ♡      

I love that you love it! どうも ありがとう ございます!

simblu replied to your photoset “Yasumi no Edo - Pt4 (Owari) CAPTIONS AS TEXT - Alec and Magnus spent...”                                                

I love all the pix and, under your cut, the changing eyes. This series will live on with you and other fans. Take it in directions you wish, perhaps?    

Precisely. Most of it's taken from the books anyway, especially the whole bit with their children, since I had a sinking feeling that the tv show would never catch up in time for us to see Max & Raphael Lightwood-Bane. Now that it might be cancelled I’m glad I wasn’t setting myself up for extreme disappointment on that end. U_U But yeah, as long as the books keep coming out, and the fanfics are still plentiful, and the fanartists stay active, I’ll have plenty of material to use in my gameplay. :) I just really want the show to keep going; it’s gotten so much better, and doesn’t deserve this at all! :( How will I live without Harry’s Magnus!?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “RSoM Insp. Pt1 - May I Have this Dance?  A slow sweet song with a...”

I thought I read "Dozens of masked downloaders" lol thought you was making a statement ^^ Lovely pics as always x                  

Maybe I was not! 8) LOL

andantezen replied to your photo: “RSoM Insp. Pt1 - May I Have this Dance?  A slow sweet song with a...”

amazing scene!

simblu replied to your photoset “RSoM Insp. Pt2 - Your Host, Lorenzo Rey  Lorenzo Rey spent a...”                                                

Beautiful setting, glam characters.                    

Totally can’t take credit for the scenery/setting -- you know how effing long it took me to find a gorgeously decorated Baroque lot with a decent ballroom? -- but thanks for liking the glam characters~! ^_^

simsdestroyer replied to your photoset “RSoM Insp. Pt1 - May I Have this Dance?  A slow sweet song with a...”                                                

Wow these poses and pics are amazing... Stunning!!!!  I've always loved your blog.                    

That is such an amazing, nice thing to say, it really is. I always get worried that my followers are sitting around like wtf is Murf even doing? And the answer is: Whatever I want, really, idek.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I know people often follow me for specific things, and I feel bad cuz I never stick to anything for very long. So it makes me feel better knowing that I have guys like you who just like my blog in general, regardless of whatever I’m up to at the moment. The support is deeply appreciated! <3                                                                 

Pride Replies

venusprincess-simblr reblogged your photoset and added:

I love it! What a great parade :D

I’m so happy you think so! You are such an inspiration for the community, LOVE YOU, VENUS! Thanks for everything!

palimpa reblogged your photoset and added:

She nailed it! I love this! big kiss!

andantezen replied to your photoset “Pride ‘18 - Part 1 “I’m sure there are millions who’d like nothing...”

epic!

simblu replied to your photoset “Pride ‘18 - Part 1 “I’m sure there are millions who’d like nothing...”                                                

Again, compliments on this amazing set-up!                    

Y’all are just too nice to me; I’m so happy and pleased, I can’t~! <3

simblu replied to your post “Happy Pride! CAS Set”

Thank you                    

You’re very welcome! :) Thanks to everyone who liked the Pride CC set I shared! I felt it was only fair to upload it, to do my part in contributing to the LGBT+ CC pool for Pride Month.

Thanks for the continued support, everybody!

[starwarsnonsense]

Top 10 Best Films of 2017 - End of Year List

I did a mid-year ‘best of’ list, so it was only fitting that I returned to the format at the end of the year to run down my top 10 favourite films of the year. Only three films from my mid-year list remain here, which is a testament to what an incredible year it has been for film. As far as I’m concerned, 2017 has been a real banner year for cinema and it has seen the release of several all-time greats that I look forward to enjoying for many years to come. 

Since I’m based in the UK there will be several notable omissions here (I still eagerly await films like Phantom Thread, I, Tonya and The Post), purely by dint of the fact that they have yet to be released in this country. Do look out for them in my forthcoming most-anticipated of 2018 list!

Honourable mentions: Custody, Brimstone, The Disaster Artist, Professor Marston & the Wonder Women, Call Me By Your Name

1. Star Wars: The Last Jedi, dir. Rian Johnson

While the placement of this film on my list may be resoundingly predictable (check out the total lack of bias signalled by my username!), the thrilling thing is that the film itself is anything but. The Last Jedi shatters the Star Wars mould to entertain new forms of storytelling and question long-held assumptions. It’s a shockingly meta story in how it questions the conventions of Star Wars - particularly those concerning lineage and its implications - but it is never meta in an ironic sense. There are no wink, wink moments, and while the past is investigated and questioned it is never mocked. Instead of descending into irreverence, The Last Jedi is meta in a way that feels absolutely necessary and justified if Star Wars is to remain fresh and vital as it moves forward. Bloodline and history do not have to dictate destiny in this new version of Star Wars - the heroes are those who understand this, and the villains are the ones who fail to grasp the same lesson. It’s a beautiful and intellectually rigorous movie, and I’m thrilled by how it elevates and re-contextualises the stories that came before it while pushing the characters and their relationships forward. I have no idea of where Episode IX will take this story, and that is incredibly exciting to me. Bring it on.

2. Blade Runner 2049, dir. Denis Villeneuve

There are a million and one reasons why this movie shouldn’t have worked, but Villeneueve proved his genius by making a sublime sci-fi picture that actually surpasses its predecessor. I have always admired the original Blade Runner more than I’ve enjoyed it, and that’s because I have always found it emotionally distant. Deckard struck me as a mumbling arse and his romance with Rachael always felt obligatory, not organic. The genius of Blade Runner 2049 lies in how it made me care - it made me care about the love between Deckard and Rachael (which was something of a miracle in itself), and it made me care about the love between K and his holographic girlfriend Joi. With these emotional hooks in place, everything worked as a thrilling symphony. The cinematography is easily the best of any film in 2017 (sorry, Dunkirk - I still love you) and this film has an astonishing number of scenes that still linger in my mind after many months - the very modern threesome, the shootout in the gaudy pleasure palace, the fight in the rain, the father seeing his child for the first time. It’s a breathtaking film and I couldn’t be more excited to see what Villeneuve does next.

3. Dunkirk, dir. Christopher Nolan

Dunkirk is such a striking and effective piece of cinema that it actually made me overcome my innate bias against war movies (I blame too many tedious Sunday afternoons wasted on mandatory viewings of The Great Escape at my grandparents’ house). With Dunkirk, Nolan has probably made his most accomplished and sophisticated movie - it starts off unbearably tense and doesn’t release its grip on your pulse until the final scene, when its hero finally drops off to the blessed peace of sleep. Nolan employs a tricksy converging structure with multiple plot strands to ramp up the tension and provide different perspectives on the evacuation, masterfully playing them off each other to assemble the big picture. While criticised by some for its apparent lack of character, I can’t really agree with that assessment - Dunkirk is probably the most powerfully humanistic war film I’ve ever seen, and by stripping its characters down to their rawest selves it reveals some uncomfortable yet powerful truths about all of us. The characters are somewhat distant from us - we never hear them pine for lovers or miss their mothers - but the removal of these storytelling shorthands leaves us with soldiers who behave exactly as you would expect frightened, stranded children to. And there’s something terrifyingly poignant about that.

4. mother!, dir. Darren Aronofsky

mother! is the work of a madman with no fucks to give, and it is what I choose to refer to as ‘peak Aronofsky’. He made what is clearly an allegory, and while he had his own intentions with said allegory (which he has been very loud about declaring) the film is so cleverly constructed that it can simultaneously be about the entire history of the world and the plight of the tortured artist’s muse - either reading is perfectly correct and supported by the text. mother! is a piece of art that has provoked a lively and frequently heated debate, and while it needs to be read as an allegory to make any kind of sense as a narrative I also don’t want to undersell this movie as an emotional experience. If you go into mother! willing to be challenged and content to be swept up in a bold artistic vision, it has the potential to be a really absorbing and engrossing film - it is anchored by Jennifer Lawrence’s remarkably brave and unrestrained performance. She is not playing a grounded character, but her performance is palpably real and frequently painful to witness - she portrays the whole spectrum of emotions, from mild bemusement to shrieking horror, and the whole film soars on the strength of her efforts. This is a uniquely strength and esoteric film, and I am incredibly happy that it exists.

5. Get Out, dir. Jordan Peele

This film really knocked me for six, to such an extent that I simply had to see it twice in the cinema. It got even better upon a re-watch, when I was able to watch it with full knowledge of the characters’ underlying motives and the things to come. It’s a terrifying concept (the racism of an all-white suburb is taken to a horrifying extreme) executed with incredible panache, and you feel every emotion that Chris goes through thanks to Daniel Kaluuya’s excellent performance. Get Out also represents one of the most brilliantly communal experiences I’ve ever had at the cinema - I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say that the audience erupted into spontaneous applause at a key moment in the climax. Simply fantastic. 

6. The Handmaiden, dir. Park Chan-wook

This film is exquisite - it’s first and foremost a beautiful boundary-smashing love story, and an absolutely marvellous tale of female defiance. It transplants Sarah Waters’ novel Fingersmith to 1930s Korea, and the story is effortlessly adapted to become intrinsically interwoven with its new setting. Sookee is a talented pickpocket plucked from a thieves den and sent as a handmaiden to trick a rich heiress into falling for a conman. To say any more would spoil the twists, but this film is just a masterwork of suspense, keeping you guessing throughout a series of interlocking pieces that take their time to reveal their secrets. I’ve seen the theatrical cut and the extended version, and they’re both great - you’re in for a treat with either.

7. The Florida Project, dir. Sean Baker

This is one of the best screen depictions of childhood I’ve ever seen. Our hero here is Moonee, a smart-tongued and cheeky six-year-old. Moonee lives in a motel room with her abrasive but loving mother, but since she’s a child she doesn’t mope or lament her poverty - she takes her surroundings for granted and makes the tacky shops and hotels that form her world her very own theme park. The Florida Project is firmly committed to adopting a child’s eye perspective, and while it can feel a bit meandering to begin with it gradually accumulates pace and purpose, building to an utterly heartbreaking and unforgettable climax. The performances here are extraordinary, and Brooklynn Prince is so palpably real as Moonee that she’ll own your heart by the end of the movie (having squeezed it to bursting point on several occasions).

8. The Shape of Water, dir. Guillermo del Toro

I’ve long been a huge del Toro cheerleader, and this movie is perhaps best described as ‘peak del Toro’ - it has the mannered, detail-oriented set design, the charming quirkiness, the subverted horror, and the woozily strange romance that he has employed again and again in his films. This story, however, is unusual for del Toro in that it is ultimately optimistic and hopeful - it’s the daddy of all supernatural romances in that it is a full-blown love story between a mute human woman and a fishman, and it is characterised by total commitment and self-belief. Think Creature from the Black Lagoon done with the creature as the romantic hero. The Shape of Water has a certain playfulness that means it never feels ponderous or silly, but it affords its characters real respect and dignity and makes you care for them deeply. This movie makes me excited to see where genre filmmaking can go next (hint: I hope it only gets weirder).

9. Thelma, dir. Joachim Trier

Who knew something like this could come out of Norway? This was probably my biggest pleasant surprise of 2017 in terms of film - I went in with no expectations at all, and came out wowed. This is an intensely strange and effective supernatural horror that follows a girl with strange repressed powers that manifest whenever she experiences desire. It could be a hackneyed or exploitative premise in the hands of a lesser filmmaker, but Trier shows a deft hand and a remarkable talent for building tension and creating a sense of heightened reality. There is one scene set to ‘Mountaineers’ by Susanne Sundfor that is one of the most transporting experiences I have ever had in the cinema - the combination of the ethereal music and the mounting suspense makes for real film magic. This was a great reminder of how important it is to take chances and try out films outside your comfort zone.

10. Jackie, dir. Pablo Larrain

This is a film that soars on the strength of Natalie Portman’s incredible performance, which is complemented by Mica Levi’s haunting score. Portman’s performance is painfully vivid, with her agony and wretchedness coming through so intensely that it’s often uncomfortable to watch. Jackie is probably the best portrait of grief I’ve ever seen, and it sucks you into a famous historic event by providing an incredibly intimate perspective on it. This is great cinema, but be prepared for suffering.