#wow I should go to sleep
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HIYA‼️‼️‼️‼️
Varían sitting on a log, staring at the distance... hmm, I wonder what he is thinking about...
#art#silly#digital art#artists on tumblr#artist#varian#varian tts#mr.cheese#tts#varian the alchemist#varian tangled#varian art#varian fanart#tangled#tangled the series#digital drawing#wow I should go to sleep#hm...but i want to draw more...
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typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
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Good eye!
#project sekai#ruikasa#rui kamishiro#tsukasa tenma#mine#tsukasa#rui#my art#hand hurts. they are so irritating.#if you want the minimal context that’s in my mind palace:#in this they’re not dating don’t know the feelings aren’t platonic yet they just do this when they want to read the same book#& rui reads faster so he comes up with observations to point out so his boy best friend will go wow so insightful so smart#someone asks nene if they’re dating and she coughs so hard she chokes & then says she doesn’t know them#off to tier more and then sleep. should I have posted this at a time that isn’t 1 o clock sure yeah but who cares
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Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.
Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.
She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.
Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...
and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...
... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.
#Yor Forger#Spy x Family#sxf meta#there is also a meta there about how she fears Yuri will be too heartbroken by such a revelation#bc she raised him and he idolized her and she fears to even consider the possibility of him finding out#Loid and Anya are on a different scale#not because they “love her more” or whatever#it's impossible to make that comparison#but because they see her flaws and don't idolize her#but they accept her and support and encourage her#she feels on an equal standing with them#I mean... not perfectly. not yet. but it's closer than with Yuri#I mean protecting him was her first and always motivation#but she also wants to protect him from the truth#while she feels that if the Forgers find out... it will be okay#she won't be judged#and I think that means a lot to her#that she has a place where she can fall and fail and be treated like a person instead of a goddess (by Yuri) or a failure (by society)#wow okay I'm back to writing tag meta I should go to sleep
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"Are you..drunk..?"
He couldn't even talk right, his hands forming in half phrases to half words (is he even talking?), then finally resolving to a 'no'.
Drifter sighed, pinching his nose bridge between his fingers. "Goddamn it. How is that even possible."
He grabbed the corpse by the arm and dragging it over his shoulder, supporting the rest of him by the waist. The beheaded was thrashing at first, attempting to get off of Drifter's grip, yet was quick to give up when sudden motions was too much for his... flame? Letting most of his weight fall over the smaller person, to which he couldn't do anything but to grumble under his breath.
Thankfully, the base wasn't too far. It took a few walks to the door and onto the bed where Drifter plopped Bobby like a carcass (well he is.)
As he stood up and was about to walk away, the beheaded grabbed him by the cloak in a state of panic. This, of course, caught Drifter's attention, simply at stasis and looking at him as if to wait for a reason. Why did he stopped him? Why did it hurt to see him go? Why the hell does his head hurt..
His eye blinked weakly, tried to muster up the energy to speak.
"Vomit." he signed.
"Oh, shit. Wait! Hold on—" It took three second for Drifter to find a basin a bring it to Bobby, just in time for him to let it all out. Seriously, how is this possible?
Though he was able to have a slight sigh of relief he wasnt able to get the mess on the bed, that's one less thing to worry about.
"Sit up. I'm gonna have clean you."
It took him a bit slow but he followed without retaliation, possibly too sick to do so. Drifter walked away to the bathroom and returned with a new basin and towel. He begin cleaning whereever the mess got him, along his hands and to his arms. Although there's not much he could do with his clothes but to wipe off what he could, it's not like he'd be comfortable enough to change his clothes. He'll have to take care of thet himself when he's more sober.
"Lord Jackal, why do I put up with you." He muttered under his breath, moreso to himself.
However, that might have caught up Bobby's attention,as he raised his hands to sign.
"Why do you?"
Drifter's gaze caught his at the sudden movement, although his eye were still unfocused, perhaps by the lingering influence of alcohol.
"People— They always look out for me because I could somehow save them from their problems. No matter how many times I've shown them I couldn't— Don't want to! Because even if I did, I will still screw it up— time and time again— ALWAYS! But everything ends the same. Everything ends. And I'm still—"
He pauses, and his hands flopped over his lap. His head lowers and shoulder slacked. He had never been like this before. Quiet. Tired.
Of course, Drifter was the same. He approached him for the same reason, and yet it hasn't crossed his mind the fact that he had gone through this a lot. And he was adding up to that.
"Do you want to cut the deal?" He intended to make it sound neutral, though his remourse came out of his soft tone.
Bobby took a moment to register it, flame still swaying through the influence.
"I don't know. I just—"
God. It hurts to think. He felt like everything around him is swallowing him whole.
"I'm tired of people leaving. I just don't want—"
He hasn't blurted out like this in a long while, maybe never. And the guts of this dead body seemed to sprung alive only to churn in pain. Its all too much. He closed his eye and let his heavy toll rest upon Drifter's shoulder. Soft flames prickling the crook of his neck.
I don't want to be alone.
He felt arms wrap around him, a palm brushing along his back in a comforting rhythm. His mind focused on these sensation, and for a moment he could feel himself grounded under Drifter's touch. It felt like he could breath again, and for the first time, felt like he mattered to someone.
This simple moment alone could stay with him for eternity. And if that were the case, perhaps he can indulge himself in it.
Tomorrow— he can pretend to forget.
#UHHH OH WOW#driftcells confessions but not the kind if confessions u seek JDBAJDHH#im going insane over this idk if i made it too... angsty? or not ahhahahah#blab#driftcells#also i hope this is still close to the characters 😭😭#just something with...immortals having to deal with the fact that everything goes and passes through them..#and bobby being treated as a tool rather than a person...#haha im ok. im not.#sorry wrong grammar i go sleep now. hopefully#fic#i should tag fics huh
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december 31st vs january 1st
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#ichiban kasuga#ryo aoki#masato arakawa#snap sketches#i shouldve posted this yesterday oops#but no yesterday was so funny i love how everyone was just preparing for ichi's birthday#AS WE SHOULD ITS A NATIONAL HOLIDAY#literally in that sense lmao#bouns points i didnt know jur| han's birthday was today too...#wow... cant believe my faves share a birthday.....#ok im gonna go sleep for 45 minutes byyyyye#happy bday ichi ilysm
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The Hiyoshi Pass scene
Something that REALLY confused me when playing this for the first time as well as spike my curiosity to 800% but now I finally know what's going on!
Your A-gang host "wakes up" and becomes incorporeal as you both visit a place that has a lot of memories for the A-gang
Kieren taunts THEM in particular "don't you want to see it through your own eyes?" Then they try to wake up, and the memory of storm 9 overwhelms and they have a huge freak out as strong that it wakes Adrest, who tries to calm the spirits of the A-gang down
Then they ask if Adrest trusts you, the Interceptor
And Adrest responds with a yes
#pokemon rejuvenation#this is my 3rd time seeing this scene and i still didnt fully click what tf was going on my second time ffdsfdsfd#but i think! this is what it is#agang being like oh wow... this place has so many good memories :) i really miss it i should wake up#gets a taste of storm 9 memories#a-gang: actually!! nevermind!! back to SLEEP NOW
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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It's the way it takes at least three business days to recover and become normal again when you have a sneeze-related dream about that one fandom that you generally do not bring into the boundaries of the fetish... like okay whoa there let's slow DOWN
#does anyone else have this or does everyone else just fuck with any fandom their into in this area of your life#like idk... some just feel so forbidden to me like my brain just doesn't wanna go there#(except apparently it DOES wanna do there when I am SLEEPING)#I'd say the fandom but fuck if anyone on this site is gonna know it.#haha wait that's a lie. anyways#um I also thought it was real because I like? was reading some normal fic of the like ten that exist on ao3#and I fell asleep and still thought I was reading this thing and it sure did take a turn in the third chapter! wow! SHDHFHD#woke up and thought damn. that's crazy. what the chances- oh. nvm. HAHAHA#anyways that being said. I think you guys should create for whatever the fuck fandom you want here if it feels right#go crazy! go stupid! yeah!#let your weird dreams become your reality or something like that. maybe mine will do (maybe) (possibly) (dawg idk if i have strength)#*too
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guys if i was outside and i exploded would you let the rain peacefully wash away my bits or would you gently pick up every piece and put me in one brightly colored box
#i just woke up#wow tumblr tags are lwk fucked#funny meme haha#haha#ha ha funny#hahaha#hehe haha#haha lol#hahahha#haha oops#there’s so many tags about haha-ing i feel like i should be concerned#there’s no right or wrong answer to this btw im just a curious little critter#i almost tagged fyp this isn’t tiktok#maybe i should#go back#to sleep#i’ll do that now#lemme add some other tags first#emo scene#emo boy#ftm scene#scene kid#2000s emo#2000s scene#scenemo#emo aesthetic#ftm mlm#scenecore#ftm emo#emo blog
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Anyone else ever look in a mirror and think "wow, that person is so pretty! But that's not me though."
#aaaggh#its weird! i feel weird!#like yes that face is very pretty but thats not me#i miss looking like a donkey (╥﹏╥)#it may have been conventionally unattractive but i liked it#and im the only opinion that really matters to me tbh at least when comes to my looks#aghh i should've never let my dad make me feel insecure enough to get braces#i wanna look like a fish donkey again!!!#and i swear if i hear “wow your whole face structure changed seince you got the braces!”#or “wow you're so much prettier now!”#im going to loose it#like fuck off i dont care#“oh your so beautiful! you'd look perfect if you had straight teeth. its such a shame your ugly ass teeth ruin your perfect face”#-my dad#like fuck off i dont care about looking pretty or whatever I. liked. looking. like. a. donkey fish thing#aghh its so frustrating#ugh its late i should sleep#i miss my face
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it’s 3am and i’ve spent the past few hours drawing a bunch of doodles of me and anton hanging out together like we’re the bestest of friends because it’s my art and i can draw whatever i want forever
#i’ll post the drawings this weekend probably#anton oc#wyrms says stuff#wyrms lore#it’s 3am and i am not tired but i also have to get up early so#hey at least i don’t have any classes on fridays so that’s good#wow anton is so cool#wow#wow i love him so much more than anything really#platonically obviously we’re both very aroace#and i know if he was real we’d be best friends we’d do everything together#we’d go see that absolutely horrendous looking minecraft movie on opening night together#he’d talk to me about rats and science and snakes and i’d talk about undertale and tma and gravity falls#we’d have so much fun i’d teach him how to play video games and he would love it so much#and he’d show me all of his weird and wacky science experiments and he’d be so silly about it#and we’d go on walks in his forest and he’d show me all the animals#and we’d comfort eachother when we’re sad and it would be so cozy and safe#we would have eachother and understand eachother that’s all we will ever need#wow he’s just so real to me guys#like he feels so real#and i’m so genuinely sad that he’s not#he deserves to exist he deserves to be happy#the fact he doesn’t exist feels like i lost someone extremely close to me and will never get them back#it’s like i’m grieving the loss of someone who never existed and it hurts#he deserves to exist :(#ouughhh#this is devastating#it hurts#i should go to sleep#:(
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dennis... he is so interesting... silly, even...
to be worshipped is one thing. to be worshipped is a given. who wouldn't worship him? he leaves and the gang changes because who are they without him? he comes back and the gang chooses him because why wouldn't they? and the d.e.n.n.i.s system and being a golden god and demonstrate value, so they only see what you present and not what you are. sex is what you are. you are a god. see past the golden god and there's nothing there. engage physically. that's it, that's you. engage physically and they won't ask too many questions. nurture dependence, they want you. they worship you. they need you. neglect emotionally, once they start to get too close and worship and obsession tips into what you think is love. inspire hope, so they'll leave and come back again, because you decide what goes and what doesn't. and nothing goes. you are golden and perfect. they will never leave.
then. separate entirely. you leave first. they will cling onto you and kneel at your altar and miss the perfect version of you, and you will only be known as the golden god and you will only be remembered for sex because that is what you are.
and that's all you need. you need worship, you need obsession. you don't need to be loved, or known, because what does that bring you? to be known is to see past the facade. to be known means presenting every bit of yourself, every flaw and imperfection that you try to scrub and dye and push away before it becomes too obvious. and what do you do, when someone knows you, and they don't like what they see?
what then?
#wow i was about to go to bed then i started thinking too hard about dennis now i am here#i should sleep i need sleep#instead i am here!#im sorry for this#i dont think it makes any sense bc its almost 2am im delirious and exhausted#anyway! goodnight!#dennis reynolds#iasip#iasip analysis#macdennis#dennis system#glenn howerton#its always sunny in philadelphia#insane ramblings
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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the duality of misao being one of the few psychiatrists in arkham that has actually made progress with some of their patients and treats them like human beings, but also someone who does a complete 180° later + EATS her patients and gaslights people who ask about them into thinking they were never committed there is currently making me go feral. like girlll why are you like this JSJSJ
#ALL POWER DEMANDS POWER AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#and whenever i say it's making me go feral i mean it both puzzling as well as intriguing to me that misao seems to not be on ANYONE'S-#side even when it may seem like she might just care about her patients bc she not only gaslights any of the staff and patients who ask abou#them into thinking that the person was never there BUT also destroys records of them ever having been there which would take quite a bit#of effort on her part to do and that is just. wow but like i said here misao is probably one of the only doctor's throughout the years who-#have treated their patients with empathy (even if most of it is faked on her part JSJSJ) and even does thing's like keep a cupboard-#full of snacks in her office for them so that they could have something better to eat than the cafeteria food...#and that is why i believe that it honestly wouldn't be too far-fetched for misao to end up having a redemption arc because-#she honestly doesn't like a LOT of the staff there because they still advocate for the use of barbaric practices like ECT on fully-#conscious people and as a regular treatment when it should be done under anesthesia / while the patient is asleep and be a 'last resort'#kind of thing you know? plus she has heard them talk about her behind her back before bc they think misao's 'weird' sooo yeah.#she isn't COMPLETELY evil but she still does thing's like eat people which is heinous in and of itself but even more so when there's-#a power imbalance between you + the other person because some people in there i could imagine would probably grow to trust her-#as an authority figure buttt misao would fully intend to take advantage of that so she could eat. and that is uhhh TERRIBLE to say the leas#tw: mentions of cannibalism.#tw: mentions of medical malpractice.#tw: manipulation.#tw: mentions of a power imbalance.
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I want to take a 100 year nap, Wild, move over.
#ok maybe 100 years is a little excessice#I’ll do a 7 year nap instead#*shoves Time aside* IT’S MY TURN TO SLEEP IN THE SACRED REALM#UUGGGHHH#my body can’t figure out when it wants to sleep#Tired at 4am? Sweet let’s go to bed around 5 that’s cool#oh but we’re gonna wake up at 8#and now you can’t go back to sleep#But you can still be tired as a treat :)#thanks body love that for me#my days off my days off and I get to spend them exhausted#I’m just grumbling I’m sure I’ll take a nap in the afternoon or something#I should go walking in the woods while it’s pretty and shut up#now I’m craving sleepy snuggle fics#WOW I need to shut up LOL#random rambles
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