#would not be the first time
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.
Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:
Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)
weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)
scars
FRESH scars
the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42
Olympic athlete level physiques
rotator cuff injuries across the whole family
scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes
old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)
Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)
every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints
calluses
no really, the weirdest fucking calluses
#thoughts#I got a massage today and played my favorite game#where the masseuse touches my back for the first time#add to this?#recoils slightly#and asks me immediately what I do for work lmao#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#dick Grayson#robin#nightwing#red hood#Jason todd#Damian wayne#Fic ideas#actually this would be a hilarious outsider pov
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy booping! 🐾
#and happy halloween!! 🦇#dick grayson#damian wayne#daminyan#dynamic duo 2.0: what would you do without me?#booping and kneading are v different things but. kneading cute 😔#felt fitting to do beast world art for this year and the return of boops was perfect timing 😭#will return to my vampire Damian roots tho haha i miss him!!#also first time making a gif so not sure if the quality is just always Like That lol
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
do you think it'll let up soon?
static version:
#good omens#good omens fanart#good omens 2#crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#first rain etc etc#oooo I completely forgot this in my drafts anyways#I literally would keep going back to this canvas whenever i was drawing because i liked looking at the rain#y'all last time I posted something with rain it stormed for like 3 days straight. it's HOT pleaseeee let me control the weather again
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
✦ Freshly ordained ✦
#a packless dog will happily accept his collar or something like that#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Machete#anthro#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#maybe you might benefit from a little bit of context in this case#Machete becomes a priest at around 20 or so#he has trained all his life for this goal#he has worked himself to the bone and sacrificed so much#because he believes it would make him respectable and worthy and give his life a purpose and meaning#he gets his very first cassock from the tailor's and it immediately fits like a second skin#for the first time ever he feels like something he wears actually makes him look kind of nice#the hard part is over it'll be smooth sailing from here on out#there's a period in Vasco's and Machete's lives where they were apart for almost a decad#they met in their late teens when they were both studying in the same university in Venice#became friends and then lovers#but had to separate when Machete graduated and Vasco dropped out#Machete was ordained as intended and Vasco followed his father into politics#they meet again unexpectedly in their early 30's thanks to their similar jobs#Machete had became a cardinal secretary of state and Vasco was a Florentine diplomat#this takes place shortly after he had lost contact with Vasco and before he reconnects with him again
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm curious. what job would you do if money was no object (you just automatically had an income you could live comfortably on)? including work like volunteering, studying etc. please share in the tags :)
#under this premise part time work is valid too!#personally i think i'd probably study. maybe do another masters maybe part time across two years this time#if i were to do a job job i think i'd try out working in a library (ideally an academic library). which would technically be more studying#since i'd need to get a library qualification first#i'm just very curious what people would choose if it was purely a choice of what appeals to you over the practicality/necessity#talking
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
kris deltarune in some outfits i thought they'd like
#moonys art tag#art#deltarune#kris dreemurr#first time drawing kris actually#saw some outfits on pinterest and thought “oh kris would wear that”#they're not upset at anything they just look like that <3#anyways also struggled a bit with their hair cause c'mon kris gets up from bed fully dressed#this gremlin does not brush their hair in the morning
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hot damn there's no statute of limitations on workman's comp cases
#*this is true for California as far as i am aware#i might get some kind of settlement money after all I've got soft tissue shit that's visible in xrays#would not be the first time#and if this other pending lawsuit about time theft has anything to say about it it won't be the last either#I'd rather not interact with the walt disney company at all but I'll take their money shit#I'm not sure how to /legally/ prove that the exact posture i held to puppeteer caused my body to scar so that its stuck in that pose#other than to point to the photos and to how i can't move my shoulders or neck out of that same specific posture#I'll make a goddamn audiovisual presentation if i have to holy shit#do i have to sing these people a song about how fucked this is would that help I'm running out of ideas
1 note
·
View note
Text
having a boyfriend is so sinister cause it will have you sniffing a nike hoodie that smells like weed cigarettes bo and dirty car and thinking yeah this smells so delectable
0 notes
Text
I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
Louise never heard about puppy love, cause they don't know that term in France 💔
---------------------------------------------
Lyrics are from Louise by TV Girl ! I was listening to it yesterday and that specific line on the second page screamed Alastor I just had to draw something about it
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#hazbin vox#radiostatic#one sided radiostatic#digital art#comic#autodesk sketchbook#alastor#tv girl#my art#first time drawing Vox wouhou sorry in advance if he's not accurate ahah#I love the fact that the entire fandom agreed Vox is pathetically in love with Alastor#Alastor would be such an asshole with people having romantic feelings towards him#especially men#that line from the song is so freaking cruel but goes SO hard#“I'm aroace but even if I wasn't I wouldnt even touch you with a stick :)”#aroace alastor#asexual alastor#hazbin comic
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
i read legends and lattes recently and now i just think karlach should have a coffee shop
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#shadowlach#shadowheart#karlach#the first one is based on the cover art bc i love it. so much#cANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH#cosiest book of the year#it scratches such a specific itch in my brain that i didn't know i had#the whole time i was reading it i was like. this would be karlach
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.
during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.
he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.
the peak lords think he's cursed.
maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.
it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.
maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.
of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.
this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!
even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.
they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!
maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.
luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.
for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.
shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.
#i like the idea of sqq sort of disassociating every time he talks with the system#like his eyes go unfocused and he goes quiet and doesnt seem to hear what others are saying#and the others always thought that was odd but hey. whatever. until some strange *thing* started showing up#i do also like the idea of the system slowly allowing sqq more liberties#bc its decided it likes this storyline#liu qingge comes to cleanse sqqs meridians and gets red with anger when the system pops up in sqqs eyes#but then sqq reaches out to him and says ''no. it... likes you.''#the system doesnt (cant) really like anyone. but its gifting him friendship points when liu qingge visits him and that's positive?#liu qingge doesnt see it as positive and gets even more mad because what do you MEAN this monster enitity ''likes him''????#liu qingge is going to kill it the first chance he has!!#yue qingyuan talks about a mission looking for volunteers and you can *see* his face fall when the blue box appears#''it wants you to go. doesn't it?'' ''this shidi would like to join this mission.'' ''i understand.''#sometimes the blue box appears and sqq looks *stricken*. like he just saw something really awful#but he just cant talk about it#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#mu qingfang#system svsss#svsss au#reveal au
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
more deadpool and wolverine thoughts
#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#marvel#poolverine#deadclaws#my art#i had this sketched out at the time of my first post but i finally finished it :')#so yeah i did NOT lie on the first post when i said there would be more#i had to force myself to finish this bc i was being lazy but ended up enjoying drawing them again hehe
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.
(okay, there is one more thing)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#jade is having the time of his life being a nasty little mofo and i love him for it#and gosh...leona and sally being friends is SO cute#sometimes i forget that leona is canonically a feminist#sally poisons a man and he's like 'you go girl'#they have so much in common though!#they both have eye scars and no ears on the sides of their heads!#no but they're adorable and i love it#and i suppose i have to reluctantly admit that i understand why lilia could not be in this event#he would just be stuffing frogs into his mouth left and right without even blinking#every time we get a moment of culture-clash he would just be there like 'mm-hm. yes. i do not see the problem.'#man. i do so adore any event that forces the boys to Work Together#their one weakness...not being petty dipshits who get into slapfights at the drop of a hat#absolutely nothing got done that first day and the mayor set off the emergency alarm because he was so done with them#this is perfection#anyway brb gotta go do some missions for the other jack's birthday#see you next week for more of scully becoming increasingly disillusioned with all these fake halloween fans
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Local idiot absolutely destroys his twin brother
⚠️ Do not try this at home❗️⁉️
#I imagine Ford weighs like a stack of papers because he never fucking ate anything during his frantic search for his brother#my unhealthy habit silly old man <3 he gains weight after he finds Stanley again dw dw#Sometimes Stan remembers who Ford is- sometimes he doesn't. Depends on the time of day#but I do think it would be hilarious if Stanley's first reaction to suddenly finding himself near a seeming stranger is to FLIP him#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#stanley pines#stan pines#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle stan#grunkle ford#a few more silly doodles out of my system <3
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
5K notes
·
View notes