#would love to be less broke
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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Worm Arc 24 thoughts:
. . . fucking . . . fuck. Just . . . fuck. Fucking fucky fucking FUCK, THAT WAS SO BADASS!!!!!
ALL OF IT HOLY SHIT I DON'T CARE, JUST PICK ANY MOMENT!! EVERYTHING EVERYONE DID WAS BADASS!
LIKE. FUCK. COLIN GOT TO LOOK BADASS.
He even got "yelling in caps" badass. Just for the one scene when he picked up Chevy. He did one fucking thing right, which was help someone up and then let THEM be cool.
And speaking of . . . HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHEVY! YOU DIDN'T GET KILLED BY TIME TRAVEL CHAD!
WHICH MEANS I DON'T HATE YOU ANYMORE!
WHICH MEANS I CAN SHOUT ABOUT HOW BADASS THAT WAS!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck waiting for my interlude section to talk about this. That final scene with Behemoth was one of the most visually badass things I have ever read in my life! Fuck. I get fucking chills just thinking about it.
I can see that entire last fight in my head very clearly, almost like remembering an anime scene. Perfectly written.
And Regent! Look at you go, that's character growth!
I mean sure, you died. But growth!
Besides, you dying legit made Imp cooler. She was already great but "I'm going to fucking kill his dad for him" is even better! And Wanton's apparently got jokes so we still have a funny guy.
Basically if someone had to die I'm happy it was you. Sorry not sorry.
ALSO FOIL WHAT THE FUCK YOUR POWER COULD ALWAYS DO THAT AND YOU'VE JUST BEEN SITTING THERE SHOOTING THINGS?
I . . . I just . . . girl! How?? You could literally have turned a piece of rebar into a sword that Alexandria could have cut Leviathan in half with! And that's just what I thought of in the first few seconds after seeing this! Spend some time actually thinking about what you can do lady!
But luckily my daughter is here to do the thinking, and be FUCKING AMAZING AT IT!!!
LIKE HOLY SHIT TAYLOR, YOU CUT OFF BEHEMOTH'S LEG!
AND THAT PLAN HOLY SHIT! YOU MADE A PLAN THAT SET RACHEL UP TO BE THE BADASS HERO WHO CUTS OFF BEHEMOTH'S LEG, AND SETUP REALLY POWERFUL HEROES AS HER SUPPORT!
Fuck half of Eidolon's fucking job was "Catch my girlfriend and fly her back to me."
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER!!!!!!
And the snuggling at the end, as they were leaving!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god and the lightning rod! That was insane!
Golem just has really cool powers. Glad Theo is doing ok.
And Alexandria's power preserves the body so Pretender can just puppet her. That's wild. Kinda annoying, my daughter just killed her!
And and and Taylor talked with Contessa!
AND CONTESSA SHARED HER POWER!!!
I was pretty close, didn't have it that specific, but basically was expecting something similar. Fuuuuck it's so cool!
Also the underground cities and the secret capes were wild. Kinda unfortunate that you guys set things up for Behemoth to be able to collapse the entire city, gave him lots of existing tunnels and such to work with.
My daughter could have done a little less bonding with Phir Sē. Ideally. Would have made me feel a little better.
But holy shit a time portal bomb made of looped light?? GOD DAMN. That sure hit like a truck. Just not a big enough truck.
Also Grace and Cuff are dating. I don't make the rules I just enforce them.
And the rules are "make it gay"
God and the whole "thinkers stuck on a roof" bit. Christ that was planned badly. They almost died because nobody had some rope. Embarrassing.
I'm glad Tattletale is doing ok. She got her girlfriend to steal a dudes phone for her, which was pretty funny. And I loved how she still got to do her big reveal to Chevy, she needs that.
HOLY SHIT AND TAYLOR TELLING RACHEL HOW TO TAKE CARE OF IMP?? SHE UNDERSTANDS HER GIRLFRIEND. GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAAAAAAYYY!
And fuckin Tecton just trying so hard to do the same thing with Rachel first and just failing so completely. And then trying again. And again. Bless his big himbo heart he's trying.
Fuck there's so much, I'm sure I'm missing a dozen other things. Every chapter had 20 moments I could mention.
Seriously though, sucks for New Delhi. "There’s nothing left to protect here" is a heck of a line and it is not what anyone wants to hear.
Chevy interlude (the rest of it) thoughts:
Holy shit Chevy's shadows! I wish he had described more of them, I wanted to know everyone's image! Just so much data there.
Fun to see the early Wards. Fun to see that Colin was always like that.
Hero's death was absolutely a targeted hit, he started asking too many questions, pushing back on things.
Chevy's whole power is just really fascinating. Really interesting to think about.
RIP Mouse Protector
Also the fact that her shadow was her laughing makes me think she might have lost the ability to be sad when she triggered, which is unfortunate if true. I mean Bonesaw got you either way so I guess it doesn't matter now.
Loved getting a wonderful list of Endbringer attacks. Sure it still wasn't all of them, but up through Simmy showing up is still pretty great.
Extremely curious about Mr. Keene, keeping an eye out for more info on him.
Tattletale just needed this poor man to read her texts and let her do her fucking THING! It's all she wants.
Anyway ya turns out powers (except Scion of course) can't touch the actual core of the Endbringers and I'm like 95% sure I have a good idea as to why it works like that, but still got a little bit of that uncertainty.
Endbringers are directly related to Eidolon in some way, I am pretty sure of that. Created by him. Previous bodies. Sentient poop for all I know! They're connected though.
HOLY SHIT WHEN HE SEES TAYLOR'S SHADOW DURING THE FINAL FIGHT!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! SHE LOOKED SO BADASS!!!!
Aftermath interlude thoughts:
Pretender and Satyr are so gay. That one's easy I don't even gotta try.
Everyone just starting to freak out about how things are gonna escalate instead of just celebrating the win is really unfortunate.
I mean, they aren't wrong. Another Endbringer is gonna come. But it would be nice if they could live in happy ignorance for a few days.
I'm guessing it'll either be two Endbringers that always attack at the same time or one Endbringer that uses teleportation to swap to a different city after a certain period of time. In either case basically fucking up the organized response ability.
Already mentioned this, but Rachel and Taylor fell asleep on each other!!!! GGGGAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!
If Dragon comes back wrong I'm putting all of the blame on Colin.
Fucking Danny just fucked that phone call up so bad. This man can not get it fucking right. FUCK.
GLENN YOU FUCKING FUCK I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR REASONS ARE YOU DON'T PUT SOMEONES PRIVATE VIDEO THEY TOOK FOR THERAPY ON THE INTERNET!!
AND YOU NEVER EVEN FUCKING SAID "SORRY"!!!!! YOU EXPLAINED YOUR ACTIONS AND WHY YOU HAD TO DO IT EVEN THOUGH IT WOULD HURT HER AND YOU COULDN'T ASK HER CAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE SAID NO BUT YOU NEVER EVEN SAID SORRY!!!
Like for real. Taylor says "You could have asked" and you respond with "You would have said no." Fuck at least just say sorry!
#Worm#Worm Web Serial#Parahumans#Cairavende reads Worm#Skitter#Weaver#Rachel Lindt#Wolfspider#Chatterbug#Smugbug#Tecton is a perfect little himbo boy#Oh ya and Cauldron kidnapped/saved all those people in the first underground base#Like sure Taylor was yelling at them to not go but I feel like most of those people would have very much died when the city broke#Seriously though I'd kill for fan art of Chevy's view of Taylor in that final fight. With her shadow image. So fucking cool.#I mean I'd love any fan art of any parts of that fight. But that might be my favorite specific image.#Fucking christ there was so much good Wolfspider stuff#And Chatterbug (Smugbug)! The scene with Taylor at Tattletales bedside was cute.#No for real though if Dragon came back with any major issues I'm blaming it all on Colin.#That man better not have harmed my wonderful robot daughter.#I really really really really would have loved for my wonderful bug daughter to spend less time have philosophical discussions with Phir Se#Look I know. Ok? Worrying about her talking to Phir Se is closing the barn doors after the cows got out. But I gotta do something :P#If I was making a new endbringer I'd do a pair that always attack two different places but the 2nd one shows up a random time after the 1st#That way no one wants to go fight the first because they all want to wait until the second shows up#Just in case it attacks somewhere more important to them. Fucks up the parahuman response and breeds resentment among capes.#Plus than one day both could just hit the opposite sides of the same city as a surprise and really fuck things up
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i loved having a september birthday until i found out some day during that month is Livvy’s death anniversary and now im not so sure😭
#i loved livvy with all my heart#i hate annabel with all my heart#i hope she get revived fully in twp#why did she have to die#this would be the ideal scenario#i will accept nothing less#her death scene broke me#the shadowhunter chronicles#the wicked powers#tsc#livvy blackthorn#ty blackthorn#the last king of faerie#the dark artifices#lord of shadows
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Everytime I look at Tumblr and see the tl I remember why I hate endgame with a passion you couldn't understand.
They fucked up Steve and Bucky so bad (yes, Bucky too bc suddenly he doesn't matter/isn't even a secondary character that deserves to be near Steve)
It's so funny to me (not) bc they talked about gay characters being in the movie at panels and interviews and even talked about Stucky at some point (basically queerbaiting) for then... Steve not even acknowledging Bucky. An awkward and impersonal hug doesn't cut it.
And Steve suddenly yearning and talking about Peggy? When he didn't even mourned her that bad and already had let her go ages ago? They knew they fucked up in CATWS with Steve and Buckys relationship, so they tried to distance them and then inserted Peggy bc ofc
(they possibly didn't have the time for a new character and they already had fucked up pairing Nat and Bruce and Wanda and Vision). Steve didn't have anyone else he cared about so they couldn't give him a new girlfriend. So they used Peggy AGAIN.
I'm not mad bc "Stucky not canon grr"
No.
I'm fucking pissed off because they did the worst character assassination and friendship assassination possible. Every movie of Cap America revolved around Steve saving Bucky at some point and him caring about him above all else, and you want me to believe that Steven Grant Rogers didn't care about him when Bucky died in front of his eyes? AGAIN? That Peggy's death was more important and impactful for him? If that was the case then why the fuck did he crash the plane then? If he cared so much about Peggy since forever?
No, that was just lazy writing and a way to reinforce Steve's sexuality "He can't be gay and you can't say that bc he LOVES PEGGY"(even tho he only kissed her once, even tho he crashed the plane and didn’t give her the coordinates, he didn't really care that much after all) they could have paired him with Nat in later movies, but they didn't.
That's why I only raise my eyebrows a lil when people say that x character will be gay canonically in a marvel movie/series. Is more than possible they won't. And if they are they're Deadpool, a secondary character no one cares about (obscure in lore too, so they can cut them off) or is plain queerbaiting again (because yes, even if you don’t see Steve and Bucky’s relationship as romantic, they DID QUEERBAIT IT)
Steve and Buckys relationship wasn't even written in a romantic way (you can ship them or not), but they tried so hard to rectify Steve's heterosexuality in endgame, that they fucked up their character arcs on purpose. And now they will always feel hollow and inconclusive. A bad taste in the mouth, a painful reminder of what it was and a what? 11 year long? characterization.
Idk man, I know I've talked about this more than three times, but omfg Tumblr reminds me why I hate that fucking movie!!! It's not my fault!!!
I know I'm going to end up writing something out of spite bc I can't take it shdkdjjcif
"It's been more than 4 years get over it" NEVER
Also the bit with Johnny Storm in Deadpool and Wolverine was also a dig (a fuck you if you will) to the fans bc Deadpool explicitly calls him Cap. And it implies that Steve as a character (not that old Steve nonsense) won't be back.
It's funny they've remade over and over again some movies (Fantastic 4, Spiderman) changed actors for characters (James/war machine, Bruce) and they include them in the multiverse/plot, but they won't do the same to some movies and some characters when they fuck up their stories, because they know if they do, they will have to acknowledge WHY they did it. Like with James/war machine changing actors.
So yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't care about Marvel anymore.
**I mean remake the movies ((Also they Can't remake Cap America bc that would mean they need to remake every important movie. And they don't have the time, the money nor the need. So that's why they decided to fuck their character arcs))
or include some characters in multiverse (they're going to do that with Tony/RDJ/Dr Doom after all, no?) and they also won't remake Cap bc the movies are amazing.
But the point stands. Steve couldn't be in DaW bc that would imply he's an alternative one or that Old!Steve was an alternative one or wasn't even Steve to begin with. But they couldn't do that ofc, no, bc that would give the fans hope in seeing Steve and Bucky together once again. So they did a dig at the fans bc "haha you thought it was Steve, but it's Johnny!"
Idk if I'm making sense at this point I'm tired af, need to sleep.
The thing is that they fucked up Steve Rogers's arc on purpose (Bucky's too, and others charas too tbh) and now they expect the fans to accept everything they give us with open arms. And imho I won't accept shit.
"Deadpool saved the MCU" how? If the other og characters are DEAD or they fucked them up too? Or are the butt of the joke now? Don't make me laugh. Most people don't gaf bout the new charas bc they only are presented in series not everyone watches (only available in one place) or are presented with characters that are dead now or as a replacement for the og characters. They aren't interesting on their own (not really, at least in mcu) and that's why most of the new stuff isn't liked as much. If they wanted to present more characters the opportunity passed already.
Also now if you want to watch and really understand 1 movie (if you don't read the comics too) you need to watch like 20 other movies and 5 shows. it's fucking exhausting.
#oh boy here we go again#im once again SCREAMING INTO THE VOID#anti endgame#anti marvel#i wrote this on twt originally#im really pissed off still#and so so tired#steve rogers#I don’t count X men bc the fucking timeline is more complicated than my brain can process rn#also weren’t they dead too?#idk I can’t remember atm#and I haven’t watched the movies in ages#the thing is I feel cheated bc they fucked up Steve and Buckys relationship specifically#and I can’t accept that and I really cant see Sam and Bucky suddenly being buddy buddy with each other either so TFAWS is a NO for me#also a notp noe bc people LOVE to hate on Steve and shit on him while they write stuff#also why I don’t believe anything Marvel says about having gay characters#if they really cared about representation or shit they would have assumed Steve was gay or at least bisexual or Buckysexual#but they queerbaited the shit out of the promos to give us that big fuck you in the end#and THEY KNEW they fucked up with CATWS because they went from theyre best friends to theyre kinda codependent in like an unhealthy amount#I mean assume in the other tag in a shit we fucked up ok well he’s this now kinda way#if you think about it Steve and Bucky are the almostonly characters that could be canonically gay or bi in the MCU (deadpool doesn’t count)#because they don’t have significant relationships with other people and even less with women#maybe Natasha? but they paired her with Bruce… when he has a relationship with Betty#THEY SHOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT AND BLAMED US#basically they got mad at us and broke their own toy bc they had a tantrum#so fuck you russo brothers#fuck you mcu#To the Tony isn’t straight crowd… they paired him with women only in MCU if I remember correctly#and yes I cant see Sam and Bucky as a couple#not sorry and if you ship them great! But i wont interact and not going to follow you bc i really can’t tolerate thst ship
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I’m allowed one (1) vent of the colossal amounts of pressure my body and mind are under per month and i usually do my best to bury it in the early hours of the morning, so now that i’ve provided this valuable and important context:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#my stuff#i need to be beaten to death i need to be eaten alive i need to be slashed and stabbed and burned to ash#nothing i do will ever EVER be enough to make up for the existential guilt that gnaws at my soul#i’m hungry i’m tired i’m stressed about work and the safety and well-being of my family and friends#i miss my goddamn ex over a year after the end of a 6 month relationship like a pathetic wretch#i will never be pretty the way i wanted to be as a child and can only make myself enough of a freak that i don’t care#i want to be brutally harmed so the flesh of my body will show a fraction of the damage i feel inside#these wounds do not heal no matter how much i try to treat them with friendship and food and music and life#it is all insufficient. i was not supposed to live this long.#i try every day to be kind and to make the world a better place so that maybe just maybe i can say i earned the right to live that day#it never feels like enough. it probly never will#i’m so angry i’m so sad i feel incurable lonely no matter how much time i spend with friends#as soon as the call is over or i head home the darkness washes right back in and i feel like an abandoned cat on the roadside again#i want everything to be okay. It’s not right now#i want everyone i love to be warm to be safe to have enough to eat but I AM NOT GOD#i can’t fix everything no matter how much it makes me writhe inside#i’m a broke fucking grad student with a useless fucking project and they should bury me alive in the field research camp#perhaps a vegetable would cause less despair
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maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...
Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."
#My art#Requestober#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#The Captain#You can't tempt me like this I'm too weak to it agh#I am sorely convinced that with a Slightly longer time frame to work on this I would've gone with my first idea#It was way overly-ambitious for a less-than-24-hour time limit but hhghhh I /do/ want to draw everyone in cute costumes!!!#Super doesn't help that I very broke my sleep schedule and like as soon as this came in I fell asleep for three hours lol#And was still tired!!! That's just not fair says I#But I still managed >:3c Because I limited my scope haha but that's important too!! And it still turned out cute!!!#I mean how couldn't it - ZEX as The Little Mermaid is just-#I'm enamoured it's so perfect for him..........what an excellent idea...........definitely not going to be thinking about this for A While#Funnily enough my immediate thought was actually angst haha - the mermaid has to give up her voice! What would ZEX give up?#That he hasn't already anyhow - and then thoughts of reviving Zelnick but selfishly I just hhghgh I love himm I love themmmm#For now the cutes tho!!!!#It tickles me so bad that a significant portion of Damned takes place in October hehe <3 ZEX arrived in November but still!#And then the Halloween event to get their canon outfits back fjdskalfjd ahhh!!!#I'm many many years too late lol but there's something very lovely about the theme continuing ahh <3 <3#Oh yeah and there's also two others in costume here lol - the Captain's was easy haha <3 Dashing prince! He suits it ♪#For DAX lol at first I considered Triton? But he's not quite That bad about ZEX's human infatuation#Not that he's as admissive or manipulative as Ursula either - at some point it might've just become ''I want to see him in it'' lol#He's so happy about it haha <3#Can you tell I had fun with ZEX's costume lol - sparklies!!! Had fun with the glitter on his shoes :D#I Will find a place to use my scale brush anywhere and everywhere and that's a threat#I wonder what ZEX would think of human animation haha - I only remember there being one movie night at the Institute!#Surely Disney would get the greenlight to be played in the Sun Room! ZEX having a transcendent ''seen'' experience aw <3
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omg time traveler ahsoka au! she gets obi-wan to leave the order for satine in the hopes that he’d be weird with someone else but anakin gets sent on a mission to mandalore and wow there’s this handsome duke he has to look after. what a shame he’s married and definitely wouldn’t leave his wife for this jedi he feels immediately weird about
hmmmmmmm this is one of Ahsoka’s closest attempts because obi-wan’s personal sense of loyalty wouldn’t let him cheat on his wife, and he’s spent so long building a family and a life on Mandalore that he would never toss it aside to be romantically involved with a kid (read: 22yo) that he doesn’t even know even though he feels a very strong pull towards him….obi-wan is adept at lying to himself
It gets easier to lie to himself when he realizes that Skywalker is also married, though secretly…..it offends part of Kenobi, but that’s just because Skywalker is making a mockery of the Jedi order with his secret marriage!! Kenobi is no longer a Jedi of course but he still has great respect for the Order!!!
That’s the only reason he feels so strange when he thinks of Skywalker’s marriage even long after Skywalker and the senator he was guarding as she came to a celebratory feast on Mandalore leave again.
(Ahsoka tenses on her reset button as anakin makes his way back to mandalore a few months later, but they’re being….normal…this anakin requests to study ancient mandalorian and Jedi texts that are housed in the capital city and it’s weird because he’s never really cared about history but he’s being very…respectful….and master obi-wan is also being very respectful if a little stand offish….he accompanied him down to read the texts and they spend hours down there together but as far as Ahsoka can tell there is nothing inappropriate happening —she has gotten very good at telling when something inappropriate is happening between her old masters—they really are just…talking and reading and they’re being…sort of weird…but sort of normal….it’s the closest they’ve come to the original timeline in fact…Ahsoka relaxes on her reset button)
War breaks out anyway of course and obi-wan lasts only a month or so after anakin is pulled to the front lines before donning an old beat up and anonymous suit of mandalorian armor and flying to fight with him. The Duchess of Mandalore offers no comment. The official story is that her husband is sick in bed from a nasty case of Flafu flu. No one knows that it’s the Duke of mandalore in the red armor, supporting Skywalker’s troops.
Ahsoka wonders if Anakin knows, up until the moment some droid gets a lucky shot in and obi-wan goes down on the battlefield and anakin levels an entire field of droids to get to him looking half out of his mind with worry and rage….then she knows he knows and maybe that he’s always known
She’s tensed up over the reset button again, but after obi-wan’s been seen to by the medic, anakin sends him back to his wife on mandalore and, miraculously, after 2 years fighting to be by anakin’s side, obi-wan…stays, but he looks so beaten down over it, so without half his heart, like he’s suddenly aged 20 years and lived in a desert for all of them. But he stays.
The war ends eventually and the Jedi triumph. Ten years later, leia runs through Anakin’s study with an old red helmet over her head as Luke runs after her, playing war. anakin gently takes it off her and sets her on the ground. He cradles the helmet though in battle worn hands, but thankfully before either of them can ask, padmes speeder arrives and they shoot off to go welcome their mom home - anakin stays for a second longer, just staring at the helmet with such a naked expression of wistfulness longing heartbreak and acceptance that Ahsoka almost wants to turn away. Before she does she sees anakin touch his forehead to the helmet’s once before rising and putting it away, turning instead to go greet his wife
and it leaves Ahsoka with such a WEIRD feeling in her own heart that she’s pressing the reset button before she can think it through because she wants them to be apart and she wants the Jedi to win the war and everyone to get their happy endings but…but not like this…not if they’re not happy….she gets 1 reset where she gets to be selfish ok she’s gone through thousands now probably.
#asks#obikin#time traveler Ahsoka au#a marriage of minds and a whole heaping load of what ifs and almosts#obi-wans marriage to Satine is never the same because she can’t forgive him for all the fighting he willingly waded into#and they both know he only#did it because his pet Jedi was in danger#obi-wan says there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to help a friend#but they both know anakin was hardly just a friend#meanwhile Padmé#knows less than Satine because she never really saw them#interact#after several years of emotional agony because anakin knows he fell in love with obi-wan whole#they were fighting together and maybe even before that even though they never broke their vows to their wives#he finally tells Padmé that the red mandalorian was obi-wan Duke of mandalore#most of the significance of that is lost on Padmé because anakin kept his Jedi life and his personal life so far apart#she thinks it’s strange the Duke#of mandalore would fly out to fight with anakin but she’s grateful of course#and decides the war makes strangers of them all
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Arthur and Honey Puff 𑁦𐂂𑁦 Lake Isabella
#I love andalusians they have really great stats but they're definitely not as brave as I was told they were :(#I found honey by brandywine drop she's really cool but I've been bucked off less by my belgian draft horse weetabix#she's fine with packs of wolves and gunshots but everything else even snakes she bucks me off#she's left me to die four times by cougars and bears :( not even grizzly bears either#I'm not sure if I'm going to keep her but she's perfect for everything aside from getting spooked a lot#I had to sell Lloyd because she would get spooked by everything and I'd died many times to her leaving me on the ground#it broke my heart but I didn't want to stable her forever#I am too attached to my horses#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#honey puff my horse#liveblogging#micks pics
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pisses me off so bad when people reduce gale’s “obsession” w mystra w “shut up abt your ex, off to the sofa w you”. 😭😭😭 like if its a joke, i guess i cant stop you even if it isnt that funny, but when theyre serious abt hating gale/his romance arc bc he mentions mystra too often… like bro, mystra was his entire life for anywhere from 13-30+ years of his existence. gale’s whole value as a person became defined by his skill in magic. his relationship w mystra dominated every aspect of his life, his career, his romantic/sexual life, literally everything. his whole purpose was to serve mystra. he had literally less than a handful of other deep real relationships that were with anyone Other than mystra. his whole self-worth was so shaped by only having being archwizard, a chosen of mystra, to offer, that when mystra tells him to kill himself, he has to be talked out of it over the course of a whole act of the game. bc hes never known how to be a worthwhile person outside of his relationship w mystra. so like, can you blame him for talking abt mystra a lot???? theres no way to avoid how deeply mystra sculpted gale’s whole psyche. it would be flat out dishonesty for gale to pretend otherwise. everyone is shaped by their past, gale was shaped by his relationship w mystra, that’s just how people work and theres no point in trying to escape it
#june speaks#and i think its that amatonormative idea that a romantic partner has to be the One True Only Person Ever That Matters. you want to be gale’s#partner but pretend that he never had this whole other relationship bc they think it challenges the strength of the love that gale has for#tav. or anyone else but mystra for that matter. like she took the spot of his first true love and now if he ever dares mention that he cared#abt her once then it means he doesnt really care abt tav. but loving another person doesnt mean that this current romantic love is any less.#love doesnt have to be confined to only one person for your entire life. loving multiple people across life just means you experienced the#way love changes you multiple times. again it doesnt mean the love you have now for someone new is any less true and devoted and heartfelt.#and this is even just talking abt how gale loved mystra for so long before they broke up. when you get into the way mystra groomed gale to#live his whole existence in service of only her from such a young age making him feel like being her chosen was the only way he would be#loved… OF COURSE HE THINKS ABT HER A LOT!!! SHE LITERALLY GROOMED HIM!!!! WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT???#bg3
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To any of my lovely artist followers, mutuals and friends 🫶
Do any of you know how to make art prints? Or do you have a site that you like to use (that is ideally on the lower price range)?
Would really appreciate any and all tips that you guys might have!! And feel free to reblog to reach more people 🩷
#really want to get back into selling my art cause I have SO much#and I really wanna make more#but it just feels like a waste of money at this point#yeah it’s therapeutic#but when you’re spending so much money on supplies#when you really should be saving or spending that money on other things - is it worth it???#idk idk idk#I’m getting scary broke#and I’m trying to figure out some way to get some sort of income or idk#I need to get shampoo and conditioner and body wash and I really want to get this self love workbook#but like#I have less than $100 to my name#and no job and no way of making money right now#or at least until after this program#idk I’m rambling now I’m sorry#but if anyone knows how to make prints or if you use a site and you like it pls pls let me know#just feel like it would be easier to sell my art if they were prints idk#shut up rosie#rosie speaks#helpppppp pls#(also I mean my bday is in a few days so if anyone wants to tip me go to my links 🥺#my treelink has my cashapp Venmo and throne in case you don’t have either of those in your country 🩷#lol I mean linktree#you get what I mean shush
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Thinking about Azula again...
#i need more people to understand her character and not just dismiss her as an evil person#a pawn or an emotionless husk#i need more people to understand that Ursa isnt a good parent#she married a monster and only realized her mistake after it was too late#once she had Zuko she finally had someone to pour her love into and to make her feel less isolated#so she coddled him and would spend all of her time with him#Ozai is a smart man im sure he noticed and figured out exactly why she was always preoccupied with Zuko which made him have a certain#disdain for his son which only grew as he got older and didnt meet his father's impossible standards#and then came Azula#her mother already had her perfect child so she didnt get as much attention from her#especially when she started showing certain characteristics that were reminiscent of her father#ursa was unnerved by Azula and her difficulty understanding certain things such as empathy#she was certain this child would grow up to be a monster like her father#so she never bothered trying to teach her to be better than him#which left her all to her father#who could groom her into the fire bending prodigy and brutal warrior that we knew in the show#he controlled her and manipulated her into being exactly what he wanted#a puppet and a weapon to be used as he saw fit#and when the curtains lifted ever so slightly from her eyes showing her the reality of her situation she broke#rambles#avatar the last airbender#princess azula
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I had a timeloop dream that feels like it should be fucking me up a lot right now mentally.
#It was. A Lot.#There were some funny bits though I remember showing Carrie an ai generated video in it that made us laugh#There was love all the way through#Anyways I experienced becoming a black hole and becoming a god or something#And I remember a part where the computer I was on (where it all started)#And I think it was a new loop#The computer asked me to take a picture and use one word to make a wish#And I just kept trying to submit the word wife because I missed Maxie...#And it wouldn't take no matter how many times I tried... It'd mirror the image so it couldn't read the word and stuff like that#The whole thing probably counts as a nightmare.#All I wanted was someone with me the entire dream. Every loop it intensified how alone I felt#Less friends could be reach. There was a point where it just kept jumping a loop every time I messaged Maxine.#And she'd get further and further away. First loop would 'oh how strange. you know so much about me'.#Then it'd be a new loop and it kept going until she was saying stuff like 'I thought I blocked you' 'Go Away' 'How do you keep finding me'#And it broke my fucking heart.
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You are actually the only person I have seen say anything that makes sense regarding HDWR recently, thank you for your good takes. I love this manga, but it really feels like I’m not reading the same story as most people sometimes
I for the record think that there is a lot (in fact i'd say majority) of interesting discussion about hdwr, even now, (just the other day in the main tag i saw a post that i liked talking about tamaki as a character & her and miwa's relationship and despite the subreddit having a lot of silly posts lately i think a couple months ago around ch. 113's release there were a lot of good comments about MiwaSae and both of their development throughout the story and I think even now there's good discussion about ch. 119 and miwa and tamaki burried in the silly stuff) and in some sense like i feel like the current wave with ch. 119 was always going to happen, it's a very emotionally charged topic that we're seeing how much it hurt a character people tend to like so like i understand being upset by it and having strong opinions about it.
That all being said, the kind of discussion that tends to surround the story of "sae was unfair/toxic to miwa" "tamaki has always been manipulative" "yuria is unfair to sae" are baffling to me because I feel like to get anything out of this story- to not instantly just be frustrated with it- you have to interact with it a little bit on its terms and I think part of that is acknowledging that these characters are more complex than the simple one word "abusive/toxic/manipulative/innocent" labelling and have complex emotions and imperfect reasoning that cause them to make mistakes, be cruel to each other, and do the wrong things. This doesn't excuse the characters' actions but that's not what the story is interested in doing anyway.
And like, I don't think the story is for everyone, I don't think everyone has to want to interact with the story on those terms; which is why while i personally don't agree with the kind of people who say "i had to stop reading when miwa and sae broke up bc it was too sad/too frustrating" and the like, I can at least understand it as just the story has goals that reader doesn't want to engage with, which is completely understandable. Where it confuses me is getting so far through the story and still not choosing to interact with the story on its terms. What are you getting out of this story then??? Does viewing sae as toxic enhance the story for you? Is it a useful way in looking at the narrative?
Especially since I feel like tamifull has attempted to make these characters realistic almost to invite us the reader to examine both ourselves and our relationships as we read. Is How Do We Relationship a useful tool to to analyze yourself or your own relationships with if you flatten the characters into good and bad? Is that a lens you'd want to view your own relationships with? I don't think so. I feel like the only things it could lead to is "i wouldn't make that mistake because I'm not toxic." "i wouldn't find myself in this situation because me and my partner aren't like them." So like. What benefit does viewing these characters in this way give you? You clearly seem to agree with/like the goals of the story if you're still here 100+ chapters later so like. What are you getting out of this?
I dunno. Like i said, I do think there's still a lot of good discussion about hdwr. That's why I still lurk the subreddit and read posts in the main tag. It's just this specific genre of discussion i can't understand especially when it happens with like more recent chapters
#channel 3#ask#anonymous#I'm not maintagging this one simply because i think it's less about hdwr itself and more just my own personal ramble#so i hope whoever asked this eventually finds it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway idk. to each their own i don't think it's super worth engaging with simply because once again to what end does this enhance the story#but i just don't think it's the most productive use of discussion space#not at the very least because i just straight up disagree with the contexts of when people say these things#i saw a comment once that said sae was unfair to miwa when she broke up with her#because sae shouldn't get to be upset with miwa about feeling like she doesn't love her when sae didn't seem to be trying on her end#but like a. sae's reasons for breaking up with miwa were multifaceted. sure she couldn't believe miwa loved her#but moreso it had to do with herself. not communicating with miwa not being honest with her and her fears and insecurities about being loved#and b. if you were insecure about being loved would you be happy in a relationship where your current girlfriend can't even say i love you#and who's most positive thing she's said about you is 'you accept me for who i am'? a nonspecific thing that could apply to so many people#possibly including the girl she's admitted she still has feelings for?#like I'm once again miwa fan numero uno but its baffling to me when people act like she had nothing to do with her and saes original breakup#it removes the agency that miwa had unfairly places blame solely on sae and worst of all#ITS BORING#anyway i really like this story and i enjoy reading other people's opinions about it#but like you said sometimes it's like I'm reading a different story than a lot of people#i think as we get past these next couple chapters the discussions will get back to being more productive
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I had spent years wanting nothing more than to get out of the place I used to live and move back up north and just rotting in a pool of depression because of how much that place fucking sucks, and when I finally got the chance to move back up north I like. Told myself not to hype it up too much because it isn’t going to fix everything, there’s other problems in my life that I’m going to have to work on still and I was really worried I would move to the new place and still be depressed but this time have no more scapegoat “this will fix me if I can get there” solution to hang onto because now I’ve achieved the thing I had always told myself would fix my depression. but like. no i was right. I’ve been here a few months, more than enough time for depressive phases to come and go and my mental state is so much infinitely better here. Like I actually want to go outside. I actually enjoy looking out the window. the bad thoughts still appear as I know they always will but fighting them off is so much fucking easier. The depression doesn’t stay when it comes knocking. There are still the few other life problems I know I need to solve but now I actually have the self confidence to try to do so instead of wallowing in untamable anxiety afraid of heading anywhere else because I might do it wrong
#it’s genuinely strange how much fixing life problems has also just fixed like… my self confidence?#I can’t tell how much of it is tied to the fact that I finally broke away from the friend group that always made me feel subordinate#maybe also because I’m away from my mom who I love but coddles me way too much#but I feel so much less Scared to Do Shit#like I got new ram for my pc. and it rocks. and I’ve needed to do it for a Long Long time#but I was never confident enough to do so before because I was afraid I would mess it up or something?#i was too afraid to touch my pc what if I break it. what if I break it forever and fuck everything up#but like. there was no fear about that now. I do think getting away from my old friends is a huge part of that actually#Im my own person now and I want to do things#ok goodnight
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New toys ✨ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#I found a gift card that had been swallowed by my chair for the past ??months and so opted to get myself some new tools!#I've been wanting new erasers for sooooooo incredibly long now hwahh#I've been using stick erasers - the kind that you can kachunk out similar to a utility knife? Retractable like that - since high school#Even sharpening them to get a finer point - if you'll recall from my getting .3 drafting mechanical pencils I draw Very small lol#But they'd never stay sharp for long! And getting fine details had to fall on the editing side of things when I Wanted my paper to be clean!#So I finally bit the bullet and got myself some shiny news :D And then my laptop charger broke and I had to use the rest for that :/#But I still got the erasers so! I'll take it! Lol#And I do quite like them ♪ They still don't Quite beat out my current favourite brick eraser that I got I think two birthdays ago?#Or last Christmas? From my brother <3 Such a sweetheart ♥ It's been working Fantastically but it is - as stated - a brick#Fine details =/= brick#Which sucks Especially now because if you look at that second one - the examples - The Brick is an Excellent eraser!!#Leaves no scannable residue is Extremely clean and shiny! And it has a soft formula that is very friendly on the paper! I love it#If I could have a stick of That in my new mechanical guys I would in a heartbeat buuuut it's a different formula for stability :P#I get why but uughhhh#Not to say that the others are bad! There's also the learning curve element! Still getting used to them!#But you can probably guess that I doodled my positive reaction before scanning lol - it looks clean to the naked eye! Computers see more smh#I ended up with a multipack of all the same brand of erasers but in different shapes :) Two mechanical two bricks and one sharpenable#And one kneaded but those dry out so fast I tend not to use them lol#So far I have completely fallen for my sharpenable of all things haha ♪ It just has Such a fine point!! And a shavings brush on the end!#It's kind of silly with how long it is lol but I like it!#I think part of it Has been user error - I'm pretty sure I over-brushed some of my doodles which caused the graphite to rub off#Specifically into the supposed-to-be-white sections - if you remember the dream comic I made with Gaster and Papyrus you can imagine#Lots of residue that makes it a long edit :P The whole idea is to make editing easier by Not having lines or toning where it's not wanted!#Still a bit hit or miss but I'm Very willing to keep working with them haha - they make my page-eyes happy if nothing else#I feel like I can spend a bit more time on the drawing side of things - more willing to make it prettier before scanning :)#Which is what I want!! I want more time drawing and less time editing!! Even just proportionately#So I'm pleased overall ♪
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call me crazy but I don’t hate the umbrella academy season 4
#spoilers in the tags#like idk#Lila and five was weird but I could totally see 5 finally finding a partner and latching on too tightly#it didn’t have to be Lila ffs#but I don’t think it breaks his character to not tell Lila about the way home immediately#this is a 62 year old man#who spent a majority of that time alone in an apocalyptic wasteland#with an unhealthy attachment to a mannequin#and that’s not to belittle his relationship with Delores#my atl poster is one of my closest friends to this day#it is VERY easy to build an attachment like that to an inanimate object when you’re that lonely#now imagine five finally has a chance to settle down after 62 fucking years of constantly running and chasing a way to save the world#and the universe basically gave him a second chance to actually live#to be in love and be loved#in a timeline where there is peace#it is entirely human to want to hold on to that for as long as possible#regardless of what you miss because of it#‘they broke 5’s character’ is the weirdest take for me#because finding a way to regain control over your never ending eternal nightmare of a life#is one of the most human responses to trauma I have ever seen portrayed#it did NOT have to be Lila#and I will be forever mad that they paired him with Lila#but Five is not any less himself at the end of the series as he was at the start#he got to experience something a vast majority of the other fives never would#and that’s what makes him OUR FIVE#if our Five hadn’t had that moment of peace he’d have continued the same cycle of every other alternate five trying to fix the timeline#the umbrella academy spoilers#tua spoilers#tua season 4
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