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navybrat817 · 5 months ago

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Hold You Tight: Part 8

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 7 | Series Masterlist | Part 9

Chapter Summary: You talk with some of Bucky's friends and witness what happens to someone who disrespects you.

Chapter Word Count: Over 5.2k

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, mention of stalking, inner conflict, insecurities, manipulation, possessiveness, violence (not against reader), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and thank you for your patience! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You didn’t respond to the comment and did your best to ignore the stares from the others. Intrigue filled their eyes and you suddenly felt as if they placed you under a microscope. Being the center of Bucky’s attention was smothering, but the weight of their gazes settled so hard in your chest that you worried you wouldn’t breathe properly again.

You looked around in the hopes it would distract you. A nice office, just as you expected. A high ceiling like his penthouse, but with carpet instead of a marble floor. The dark, expensive desk and furniture added to the vibe, powerful and ominous. A bookshelf along one wall lined with books reminded you that Bucky really liked to read. You also wondered who painted the lone piece of art that hung above his desk. A black dahlia, symbolic of sadness or betrayal.

Why that flower?

The wall to your left pushed that thought away. Monitors took up the top half and displayed various parts of the club. You weren’t sure why it took you by surprise, especially since he mentioned seeing you in the VIP section. The man was a control freak. At the same time, the club belonged to him and he certainly wouldn’t be the first business owner to have eyes and ears everywhere around his place.

“Quick introduction before we get into specifics,” Bucky said, nodding around the room. “Thor Odinson, Nick Fowler, Sam Wilson, and Steve Rogers.”

A large blonde with long hair clapped his hands together. “Finally! The future Queen of The 107th! And a beautiful one at that. It’s a pleasure.” Your eyes widened as he stood, his stature as booming as his voice before he bowed. He actually bowed to you. “Are the rest of you not standing? Fowler, Wilson, on your feet with Rogers. This is not just a woman, this is Barnes’s woman. Show her some respect.”

“I swear, you aren’t from this world,” a brunette in a sharp black suit mumbled, but got to his feet along with the others. The unexpected gesture stunned you into silence. “We were starting to wonder if you stood us up.”

“Took a bit of convincing to get her here, Nick,” Bucky explained, making you bite your tongue when he kissed your temple. “She wanted a quiet night.”

The handsome man had a menacing glint in his brilliant blue eyes. “And how exactly did you convince her?”

“You know, you can all sit back down,” you cut in. “There’s no reason to stand just because I’m here,” you added, though you appreciated Thor’s genuine enthusiasm. It was kind of endearing.

“Nonsense. You’re all he speaks of, so you are a Queen in our eyes,” Thor said.

“Future Queen does have a nice ring to it. Maybe I can buy you a tiara,” Bucky smiled. The men chuckled in unison, with the exception of Ray.

Hyenas.

Whatever expression you had on your face made Bucky frown. “Are you okay?”

You wanted to scream how you weren’t okay at all and how terrifying the entire situation was, but Bucky took your hand before you could answer and kissed your fingers. It somehow soothed a bit of the nerves, which wasn’t fair since he was the one who tangled you in this web in the first place. “Just not used to so much attention,” you admitted.

“Let’s sit,” Bucky suggested, leading you to the remaining empty sofa. Instead of giving you space, he kept you at his side once you both sat. Was it a display of ownership in front of everyone or did he just want you right beside him? “Ray, bring her some water.”

Your heart thumped against your ribcage and the gentleness of Bucky’s hand on your cheek startled you. It was different on the club floor. Even with his men teasing you, there were tons of others around. Here in the office, the spotlight was solely on you. All because Bucky wanted you. Otherwise, you’d be invisible.

“I’ll have you home soon,” Bucky whispered, grounding you with the reminder that you didn't have to stay all night. “Just a little bit longer.”

“Told you it was too soon to bring her here,” the dark-eyed gentleman beside Thor spoke, a mildly sympathetic look on his face. “But, no, you never listen to me.”

“And I told you where to shove your opinion, Sam,” Bucky snapped, thanking Ray in a softer tone when he placed a bottle in your hand. At least you knew it wasn’t drugged or tampered with since you had to open it yourself.

“So, Barnes tells us you work with flowers?” Thor questioned.

You nodded, not sure if it should bother you that he spoke about your job or impressed that his friends took the time to remember. “Yeah, I’m a florist. I enjoy it.”

“That is a lovely profession. He also mentioned you occasionally bring flowers to the local hospital at no charge,” Thor continued before the others gave him a look you couldn't decipher. “We do not see a lot of kindness like that around here.”

“Yeah, I sometimes…” you trailed off when you noticed Bucky’s jaw clench. It wasn’t something the two of you talked about during your date, but he clearly knew. You’d have to revisit this conversation later. “Bucky, why don't you tell me about your friends?” You suggested. Anything to take the focus off you.

Bucky blinked and gave you a smile after a moment. “Sure. Years ago, Steve decided to drag me to a veteran support meeting after we served, which is how I met Thor and Sam. They invest in real estate,” he explained. “Sam focuses more on the commercial end and Thor on homes.”

The military background didn't surprise you. Brotherhood. Loyalty. Respect. There was an unmistakable bond there.

“Wilson and I were just discussing our newest acquisitions before you walked in,” Thor said, tilting his glass toward you. “Barnes didn't tell us you lived in such a nice area.”

Your stomach tightened with nerves. “Excuse me?”

Sam looked like he was considering his words when Thor’s gaze flickered to him. “Bucky may have mentioned a property or two in that neighborhood that might be a good investment. He’s right.”

Your gaze jerked to the man holding you. His lips curled, knowing and unashamed. His promise to have you out of your home… “Is my apartment building one of those properties?”

Bucky shrugged. “It might be.”

Your heart gave a hard thud. If he was serious… If his friend bought the building… No, he couldn’t do that to you.

“Nick deals with investments, too, but he focuses more on businesses over real estate. We actually introduced him to Bucky,” Sam said, effortlessly shifting the conservation back to the group. He seemed nice, but how nice could he be if he was Bucky’s friend?

“It really is nice to see the future wife in person.” Nick gave you a quick once over, but there was no judgment, unlike that jerk at the bar. “I can see exactly why he broke into your place just to talk to you.”

Bucky rubbed your back when you coughed. Nick was almost as nonchalant about the situation as Bucky was. “So, everyone really is aware that he’s a stalker,” you said.

“He prefers to think of himself as passionate or intense.”

“Pay no attention to him,” Bucky advised.

Nick simply smirked. “I was giving her a compliment.”

“Jax and Hal have already hit on her and I don't need you bothering her, too.”

“I’m not bothering her. Maybe you're the one bothering her.”

“Please, you don't have to talk about me like I'm not here,” you interrupted. Wanting to be invisible was one thing, but you wouldn't be treated as such.

You shut your mouth when everyone looked your way, but relaxed when all the men laughed again. “I like you,” Nick said. That brought a small smile to your face. It wasn't like you wanted the people in Bucky's life to like you, but it was nice to see that others weren’t phased by his power.

Bucky shot him a look for a split second before the latter put his hands up. “I don’t like her that way. We all know she's your girl,” he promised before looking at you again. “But I do like your spirit. It's good for him.”

Bucky shifted his gaze back to you adoringly as you shrank back into the sofa. “Thanks,” you whispered.

“And since you’re here, I wanted to ask what you think I should get Brady and Addison for their upcoming wedding,” Nick smirked again, but it was much softer this time. “I asked Bucky, but he thought I should ask you since you're so close to them.”

A chill ran over you. How did… “Nick,” you whispered, recalling your earlier conversation with Addison. “You’re Brady’s new boss, aren't you?”

“Smart girl.” he smiled, impressed. “I’m a boss of sorts. He’s a hard worker. Loves his fiancé. I hope they're enjoying their dinner.”

“Check their registry. Everything they want is there,” you said as evenly as you could manage, wishing you had the strength to bolt from the room.

You swallowed back the urge to get sick as Bucky rubbed your side. This wasn't just meeting his friends. This was a not-so-subtle way to tell you that you weren't getting away from him. And how could you? There was a chance that Sam bought your building. Nick had a way to get to people you cared about. And Steve showed up at your job, one of your only safe-havens. What was next?

It would've been easy to feel hollow to it all as Bucky wove himself into your life. Was it just control he sought? Or did he want to be in as much of life as possible so you couldn't forget him if you tried? No matter where you went, where you looked, who you saw, it would now trace back to him. Like he wanted everything to begin and end with him.

You looked toward Ray, but he looked at the floor. Sighing, you shook her head. You were all alone. “So, Bucky knows how to get into my home and pretty much knows everywhere I go. Sam or Thor might be buying the building I live in. Nick is working with someone close to me. And Steve… clearly knows where I work. Am I missing anything? Is this totally normal behavior for all of you?”

You could still see the intrigue in their eyes at your clipped tone. “You seem unhappy by that, but it is a dangerous world out there and you are a guarded treasure who needs to be looked after,” Thor spoke, looking to the others for support. “All of our women are.”

Nick nodded after a moment. “Varying degrees with our approaches, but yes. It’s dangerous out there.”

You huffed. Did they think they were the good guys? Were their significant others like you? Trapped? “It’s dangerous here, too.”

“You’re not in any danger with us.” Bucky turned your head toward him. “But Thor's right. You are my treasure, Kotyonok. I found you and I’m not letting you go.”

A possession. Something to covet. “You could’ve just left me buried in the sand or at the bottom of the ocean,” you whispered, ignoring the hurt in his eyes. “I didn’t ask for you to dig me up.”

“This is all overwhelming. I know it is,” Bucky whispered back, like the others weren’t listening. “If you’re upset that Steve went into your shop or for anything else, you can blame me.”

Of course that was the thing he commented on. “Oh, don’t worry. I do blame you.”

The men laughed again as he ran a finger along your neck. “Another thing I’ll make up to you.”

You huffed again. “And how will you do that? Jerk off while I’m on the phone with you? Because you already did that earlier.”

Bucky smirked at your sass when Sam coughed and said, “Steve, you’re being awfully quiet over there.” You almost forgot he was there since he hadn't said much else since you walked in.

“Who cares about Steve?” Nick grinned as he sipped his drink. “Let’s hear more about that phone call.”

“Just observing, Sam.” Steve cut in and crossed his arms as his gaze swept over the group. “And don’t be rude, Nick.”

“Is it rude if I also want to hear about the phone call?” Thor asked.

Heat flowed to your cheeks and you wished you just kept your mouth shut. “Please, forget I said that,” you begged. Because now that you mentioned it, it would play on a loop again in your mind.

Bucky said low enough for only you to hear, “Next time I get off, I want you right there with me.” The heat in your veins turned to molten lava. “But since you want to change the subject, Steve has been my best friend since we were kids and now he helps out around the club and with other endeavors,” he introduced, a hint of pride and fondness that wasn't fully extended to the other men. “I think you two are going to get along very well.”

“I think so, too.” Steve smiled and you did your best to return it, but it fell flat as you remembered the flowers at Bucky's penthouse. “Thank you for making my best friend happy. That’s all I want for him.”

“Thanks,” you said. That was all you wanted for your best friend, so you understood to an extent. “Did your girl enjoy the tulips or did you make that whole thing up?”

You weren't exactly sure what Bucky told him to do when he went into the shop, or what he told any of the men to do for that matter. Spying, keeping tabs, it was just a reminder of the eyes and ears your pseudo-boyfriend had around the city. Your brain begged you to get out of there, but you couldn't move.

“She really does love tulips and was very happy with them,” he assured you. “So I should thank you again for making her happy, too.”

You shouldn't dig the knife in after he complimented you, but you couldn't help yourself. “And are you like Bucky and stalking her, too?”

A hint of pink showed in the blonde’s cheeks when Bucky and Nick chuckled, but he gave you a lopsided grin and didn't seem at all offended. “I've actually done a little bit more than that,” he said, your heart dropping as he looked at Bucky. What did he mean? “Did you get a chance to introduce her?”

Bucky shook his head as Steve’s face fell. “Didn't stop at coat check,” he answered before he added, “His girl works here part-time, but I thought it would be better for you two to officially meet when we go on a double date.”

“A double date?” You asked.

“Yeah, the four of us. Steve and I already have a few ideas on where to go.” Another thing that wasn’t a suggestion. Wouldn’t be a choice. Did Steve’s poor girl have any idea?

“What does coat check girl’s boyfriend think about the double dates?” Nick said, typing out something on his phone.

Steve's smile slipped. “Soon-to-be ex and she has a name.”

“That's right, I forgot. You're going to ‘handle him’,” he said, your body tensing at the implication.

“I'm sorry. Didn't you break your future brother-in-law's arm?”

“I almost broke both arms,” he shrugged when you gawked at him. “My girl’s a best-selling author, but her brother is a piece of shit.”

Thor downed the rest of his drink. “That reminds me of the time I broke my father-in-law's fingers. My brother advised against it, but…”

The voices blended together as you took a sip of the water. You weren't a violent person, didn’t speak casually of violence the way they did, but the urge to hit or throw something became stronger with each passing second. All things considered, you were extremely patient with everything. How much more could you take?

“I want to go home, please,” you told Bucky. You had to get out of there. “I mean it. I met your friends and-”

The room went silent as someone knocked on the door. No one made a move, except for Ray and Steve who both reached for something in their jackets. “Expecting someone, boss?” Ray asked.

“Actually, I am.” Bucky checked his watch. “Should be Ari and a guest.”

“What guest? Not Ransom,” Steve said, his body still tense.

“And not Andy or Scott. They’re out of town,” Nick added.

Bucky’s wolfish smile was back on his face. “You’ll see.”

The doors opened and in walked the man who insulted you at the bar, looking around like he owned the place. Ari followed with a glare that had you shrinking into the sofa again. The night was just getting better and better, wasn't it?

“John?” Sam didn't look impressed. “Really?”

Bucky stood up to shake the man’s hand and you suddenly missed his warmth. “John. Enjoying your evening?”

“Yeah. That shirtless bartender gave me drinks on the house.”

“I’m glad Hal took care of you.” You could smell the liquor coming from him the further he stepped into the room. “And I think you know just about everyone here.”

While the men had smiled and welcomed you, none of them extended the same courtesy to John. Steve and Sam looked like they wanted to punch him. Nick didn't even glance up from his phone to acknowledge him. Thor simply got himself another drink.

“I do.” John hiccuped. “‘Bout time you invited me up here.”

“Yeah, I guess it is about time.” The look on Bucky’s face gave you chills as he grabbed John’s arm and stopped him from sitting down. “Oh, no. You don’t need to sit. You won't be here long.”

“Is that right?”

“That is right.” The grip on John’s arm tightened enough to make him wince. “You see, I told Hal to give you free drinks until Ari came to get you. And the only reason I had you brought up here was so you could officially meet my girl before I have you kicked out.”

“Kick me out?! What the fuck are…” John had a noticeable twinge in his cheek as he spotted you. You wanted to cover yourself up even though you weren’t exposed. “That's your girl?”

“She’s my everything.” Bucky briefly looked away from John to gaze at you. “And from what I understand, you knocked her out of the way at the bar and made a rude comment. I’d like to know exactly what you said to her.”

Nick glanced up from his phone, more interested in the conversation now. All of the men were. That wasn't good. Not at all.

“Look, I may have bumped into her, but I don’t…” John cleared his throat as Bucky stared at him, underlying rage in his eyes. “I don’t recall mouthing off to her or anything.”

“Bucky, it’s fine,” you said. You told him that earlier. What was he doing?

“Kotyonok, do you remember what he said to you since John’s memory is so terrible?” Bucky asked, his gaze still fixed on the man in front of him who was starting to sweat. “It’s okay. You can tell us.”

The others stared at you expectantly. You shifted, not wanting to blurt out exactly what the guy said. Lying wouldn’t make it any better though. Bucky clearly knew what happened.

“See? Nothing happened,” John tried to dismiss you when you stayed silent. “How about a drink?”

Bucky pursed his lips in disdain. “How about I have Ari beat the words out of you instead?”

You gasped when Ari pushed himself off the wall, fear all over John’s face as he advanced. He looked like he was going to piss himself. “He called me an ugly undressed bitch,” you said loud enough to make Ari stop.

Something in the room shifted, the silence extended and uncomfortable as the men rose to their feet one by one. Thor made a show of cracking his knuckles after he winked at you. You had nothing to fear. They didn't want to hurt you. So why were you still trembling?

Steve slipped his jacket off and strode forward until he was beside his best friend. “You said that to her?”

John bravely or stupidly attempted to deflect. “The music is loud and-”

“You better shut your fucking mouth if you even think of calling her a liar. Not that I need anyone else’s word except for hers, but Hal also heard you. Even told you to apologize, which you chose to ignore. I can pull up the camera if you want to see the footage.” Bucky’s even tone had you trembling in your spot just like John. “You really have the nerve to come into my club and speak to my girl like that?”

John scrambled for words as he pointed at you. “I didn't… I mean, look at what she’s wearing! How was I supposed to know?”

“That should've been your first clue that she was special. Everyone else down there has to abide by a dress code, but not her. That’s how much power she has. And you tried to make her feel bad for that?” Bucky held a hand up when Ari stepped forward again. “No. I won't let that stand.”

“Bucky.” John swallowed when the rest of the men shifted to surround him. The only exception was Ray, who stood closest to you. “I…”

“Apologize to her,” he snarled. “Get on your fucking knees and say you’re sorry.”

“I’m sorry.” John glanced at the floor. “Don't make me get on my knees.”

“That’s enough! I don't want his apology anyway,” you spoke up. An empty apology from a jackass was meaningless. “I appreciate that you want him to say sorry, but I’d rather he just leave if that's okay. Please.”

Bucky let out a slow breath. “My girl has a kind heart.” He briefly took his eyes off John to offer you a soft smile before turning his attention back to him. “But I don't. You’re banned from my club. And by the end of the day tomorrow, you’ll be banned from just about everywhere in the city.”

John laughed, a broken, nervous sound. “This is a joke, right?”

Bucky cracked his neck. “I’ve never liked you. None of us do. We tolerated you, but I won't tolerate you insulting my girl.” He signaled for Ari to open the doors. “So you have two options. You can leave on your own and be permanently banned from this establishment. Or I can make you leave and you’ll be permanently banned from this establishment. Your choice.”

“You can't ban me for one comment! That's insane!”

“I consider it harassment,” Bucky corrected him. Ironic coming from him since he invaded your life. “I take it I'll have to make you leave?”

“You know what? Fuck you. This club sucks anyway.” John moved toward the door before he stopped to look back at you. “And you think you’re special since you're up here? You’re just an uptight bitch who-”

Bucky’s fist connected with John’s jaw before he could finish his insult and you could only shriek as he hit the wall and crumbled to the floor a heartbeat later. Steve hauled him to his feet by his collar before he could recover and punched him in the stomach hard enough that you flinched. Ray shielded your body as best as he could as everyone took turns punching him.

“Don't look,” he whispered.

“I don't know if I can do this,” you whispered back. You were trying to stay calm, but this…

“Yes, you can. Just breathe. In and out,” Ray urged. His face didn't give much away, but you sensed his relief when you took a few deep breaths. “There you go. And don't look.”

You didn't look. It still didn’t block out the sounds, fists connecting against skin and bones, and John’s pained groans. Nor did it stop you from shaking. It couldn't have lasted more than a minute, but it felt like a lifetime until the room went quiet again. Was it over?

“What did you guys do to him?!” You asked, loosening your hold on Ray’s arm. When did you grab him?

“We taught him a lesson.” Bucky flexed his fingers with a sigh. “I have an abundance of patience for you, it's less so with people who are disrespectful and vulgar with you.”

Ray still shielded you when you tried to look where John lay in a heap, but was careful not to touch you. “...Is he breathing?”

“He is and he's lucky for that,” Bucky replied, nudging him with his foot. “Looking strong, John.”

“About time we shut him up,” Nick said, plopping back down in his seat. “Should've banned him months ago.”

“No one deserves a beating more than John,” Steve said, gazing at you like a big brother who just beat up a schoolyard bully for picking on you. “And don't worry. He won’t speak to you like that again.”

“He won’t be speaking much at all after that,” Sam said, taking a drink from Thor’s outstretched hand. “No big loss there.”

“Ari, would you mind taking out the trash?” Bucky asked, tilting his head as he looked down at John. “And can you get the cleaners up here to do something about the blood on my carpet?”

“On it.” Ari effortlessly picked John up and put him over his shoulder as you tried to process what you witnessed. You were past processing any of it, your brain nearly broken from the stress.

In fact, the only one phased by the violence was you as everyone went about their business again. It made your head spin. That was all from a guy insulting you. What would they do if someone actually tried to do anything to you?

Ray stepped aside when Bucky made his way back to you, the anger gone from his eyes. “You’re shaking,” he whispered, pressing his lips against your forehead. “I'm sorry if that scared you.”

“Of course, it scared me! You all beat the hell out of him,” you scolded. On instinct, you grabbed his hand to check it. You had no idea why you wanted to make sure his hand was okay after everything. “None of you had to do that.”

“We don't like bullies,” Steve said as Bucky let you inspect his hand, your fingers gently brushing over his knuckles. “It was bad enough what he said, but he knocked you out the way, too, and didn't apologize. He deserved it.”

“Yeah, he did,” Bucky agreed, taking the opportunity to grip your hand before you could let him go.

“That was a bit much,” you said. It was overkill in your eyes. “I'm not worth beating someone up over.”

He met your gaze with a smile. “You’re worth more than I can ever give you. And he won't be bothering anyone in this club ever again.”

“You're really going to ban him?”

“Absolutely. I have a reputation to uphold. He's only going to mess that up if I let him stick around.”

“Ari isn't going to…” You weren’t sure what he would do to John since they were out of sight.

“You don’t need to worry about a thing.” Bucky moved his hand to your cheek. “I only wish I could hit him again for how he spoke about you.”

You rolled your lips between your teeth. Defending you that way was a lot, but a morbid part of you liked that he stood up for you. “Thank you, but no more hitting people in my name. I can't stand it if someone else was hurt because of me.”

“His actions got him hurt because he hurt you first. I know he did. And I said I’d step in if someone hurt or upset you.” His gaze dropped to your mouth when you bit your lip again. The insult did bother you, but it didn’t matter now. “You really do have a kind heart and you’re making it very difficult not to kiss you right now,” he added, brushing his thumb over your lips.

Goosebumps rolled over your skin at the touch, but you stepped back before he could push his thumb into your mouth. He was still dangerous. Still taking over your life. That was enough to wake you from any spell he tried to put you under. “You’re driving me crazy.”

“Just returning the favor.” He held up his hand again with a small smile. “You sure you don’t want to give it another look? A little kiss might make it feel better.”

You rolled your eyes. The man was utterly ridiculous. “I’m not kissing your hand, Bucky. We both know it’s fine.”

“One little kiss? Please?” He winced for show as he flexed his fingers again, but you wouldn't budge. “C’mon. You were worried about my hand enough to check it for damage.”

You shook your head. “I wasn't worried. I just wanted to make sure you didn't injure yourself because that would just be one more thing you’d hold over my head,” you deflected, glancing around to find everyone staring at you again with smiles on their faces at the exchange. “Thanks for defending me.”

“Nothing to thank us for,” Thor held his glass up to you.

Steve looked at the monitor that displayed the coat room. “We take care of our own.”

An alarm on Bucky’s phone went off before you could say anything else. “And look at that? It’s time to go.” The men groaned before he shut the alarm off. “I promised I’d have her home and I’m keeping that promise.”

Steve looked the most disappointed of all. “I barely got to talk to her,” he grumbled.

“Next time, okay? And the double date soon.” Bucky smiled at his friend.

“It was wonderful to meet you,” Thor said as Nick and Sam nodded in your direction. “And I hope to see you at my party next week. Everyone will be there.”

“Maybe,” you said, putting as much emphasis on the word as possible. How would you get out of that? And the double date?

“Okay, you’re all welcome to hang out, but we’re leaving,” Bucky said.

“Maybe I should find my own way home,” you said. Bucky didn’t just have his claws in you, his friends did, too. You needed a breather. Some wine. “I really don't mind getting a cab.”

“Not happening,” he whispered. It was worth a shot. “I need to make sure you get in bed safely.”

“In bed?” You repeated, almost laughing until you saw his serious expression. “You seriously don't expect me to invite you in, do you?”

“Yeah, I do,” he said, steering you toward the door as Ray followed. “Besides, who else is going to tuck you in?”

Was tucking you in going to be enough to satisfy him tonight or would he take it further?

You’d find out soon enough.

Now we know what happened to John! What do we think of his friends? Will Bucky be good when he takes you home? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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dualumina · 11 months ago

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#honestly all of these characters are either comedic or sympathetic #EXCEPT CAUDECUS HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES #once you realize the full extent of what he did to his daughter ohhhhh he becomes hated so quickly #like yeah Joko for example has done legit war crimes but he's at least entertaining about it #as far we have seen Phlunt sucks as a person and has stolen other's credit but hasn't done anything insanely terrible #Isgarren is trying to manage 50 billion things while trying to prevent 100 billion possible catastrophies #(though we haven't gotten though the newest story entirely but there's a decent chance that opinion won't change)#but Caudecus is vile in a real world sense. imagine a rich politician father who killed his wife on top of #being a controlling and manipulating father to his only daughter to the point she tries running away #she has to contact the gosh darn Order of Whispers just to successfully get away because her situation is THAT BAD #and then after she does get away you know what Caudecus does after??#he goes and manipulates his daughter's childhood friend into joining his cult ON TOP OF #basically turning her into his new daughter #and then later when you have to go and stop the cult stuff #and the daughter joins you because she's been training with the whispers and knows the place so as much as she #really didn't want to come back she still decided that her coming would be the best way to ensure you succeed at taking him down #let's not even touch upon the implications of what exactly Caudecus insinuated happened between him and the best friend #THEN THE BASTARD KILLS HIS DAUGHTER POINT BLANK WITHOUT ANY REMORSE #and the freaking mirror!! like Anet really wanted to hammer in how much of a creep this guy is!!

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dreadark · 4 months ago

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so why is Luka obsessed with Hyuna anyway?

(mostly just trying to get my thoughts on Luka down before blink gone rewires my brain)

every pet human is extremely limited in freedom, but Luka's case is definitely the worst literally even his birth was by Heperu's design... he can't control any aspect of his own life, from his participation of ALNST (twice!) to what he eats on a daily basis

*translations all by whatafruit

humans have no power over segyein, and Luka doesn't even have any power over own his own body so what can he have power over, then?

other humans, of course

most obvious in round 5: Luka would've had an easy win even if he barely tried, but he goes out of his way to provoke Mizi anyway until she finally snaps... and he smiles as he's beaten

because this is his "power." he successfully manipulated Mizi into reacting, proving he has some control over the situation no matter how pointless it is in the grand scheme of things, this is all he can influence, so he makes the absolute most of it and this control is so important to him he doesn't care about his own physical injuries

it's Hyuna talking in this comic, but clearly reflecting Luka's own mentality

while for Hyuna it's likely just her love for singing and performing (whatever happens, they can't take this away from her) for Luka I imagine it's the ability to influence others from the stage (crushing his opponents, but also shaping his fanbase?)

...so back to Luka -> Hyuna

it’s mentioned more than a few times that Hyuna’s a really talented performer, but seeing their respective stat pages really drives it in

(think the “superiority test” Hyuna was put through relates to this also)

Hyuna doesn't seem to have been created in any special way like Luka was… she just has a natural affinity to performing. and that's enough that she’s considered a real rival to Luka—Luka, who was literally made for this, and put through constant hellish training on top (the pain of having your heart stopped...) to mold him into the perfect idol

to Luka… if he can’t dominate Hyuna, he can't even take pride in his own ability (that everything he's forced to go through amounts to something?). and power over other humans is all he has, so he needs to overpower Hyuna (also he likely admires Hyuna’s talents at the same time, which just adds to his twisted feelings)

so since his ability isn't enough... by making someone think of you, only you… that’s another way of having power over someone, isn’t it

“your life is mine” “I told you I only wanted one thing”

whatever exactly happened with Hyunwoo… well that certainly worked. both removing Hyuna's most important person and making Luka someone she can't not think of (oh and he doesn't seem particularly interested in Hyunwoo despite how similar the siblings are in personality? Hyunwoo was even the first to approach Luka, not Hyuna so it's likely because he doesn't have his sister's talents)

but you know how his intimacy(?) value for her is only 70% I figure that's because she escaped, so they could never actually face off onstage... maybe he's disappointed in her "wasting" her ability

what all this amounts to is that she did end up escaping his control, and he never even got to compete against her. so until he can somehow completely overpower her, he'll be obsessed with her

I wonder if this represents his final effort to that... ultimately, he values control over his own well-being, so if he can goad Hyuna into killing him, then doesn't that cement his power over her?

and maybe "saves" him from this hellish life too

kind of a tangent, but I really like how their designs contrast this dynamic Luka looks really angelic and androgynous, so from appearance he seems fragile and like someone to be protected (which even Hyuna seemed to be tricked by when they were younger) and Hyuna obviously looks the stronger one in comparison (very #girlboss (lol...))

but their relationship is one where Luka's trying to control her and Hyuna's trying to escape it... that "beautiful lady" line of ruler of my heart always felt somewhat uncomfortable, and then learning it's actually pitiful (가련한) instead of beautiful is... ...it's a very gendered dynamic, if you get what I mean. despite their surface-level appearances going against what's considered typical

#feel free to send me asks to argue btw #im being completely serious here i wanna discuss alnst oTL #alien stage #alnst #alnst luka #alnst hyuna #hyuluka #well it's... about their relationship...#im not going to try to make sense of his relationship chart comment bc my only reaction is 'is he stupid'#ndfgkd #but the artbook rly has a lot #i can't think of round 5 without thinking of rgu so that probably influences my view of luka too...#btw you're lucky im stopping myself here and not going into some excessively pointless tangent #about how he compares and contrasts with ivan #i can make posts without talking about ivan i prommy #'but you're talking about him now' tags don't count #if you somehow got all the way down here can u listen to 'do you want to fight me' by venus hum #why mention that on this post specifically? if u listen you'll understand trust me

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dark-fics-4-you · 4 months ago

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Crying in the Country Club ch. V

dark!Rafe Cameron x dark!Reader

Warnings: smut, p in v sex, oral (m!receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, lying about birth control, baby trapping, mention of previous attempted assault, public sex, infidelity, manipulative and aggressive behavior, breeding kink, slight burn injury

Stepping out onto the Cameron’s back patio, you were pleased to find that the forecast was spot on. It was definitely warm enough to go swimming.

Your gaze settled on the glimmering pool, before looking around the backyard to spot Mr. Cameron.

Your mom and Rebecca were sitting on the porch swing, seemingly engrossed in conversation, but you didn’t miss the way Rebecca subtly gave your body a once over before nervously glancing over at her husband.

Nearing Rafe and your dad by the grill, you paused to ask what was on the menu for tonight.

You grinned sweetly at Rafe, enjoying watching his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed after taking you in.

Not wanting to waste an opportunity to get him flustered, you had chosen one of your more revealing swimsuits, a strappy dark teal green bikini paired with a teal blue wrap skirt that left little to the imagination.

“Just some burgers and hot dogs, Y/N,” your dad answered with a smile, not noticing his best friend beside him clenching his jaw tighter than before.

“Cool! Um, can I have a burger, with cheese?” You asked.

“You got it,” he answered. “But it’ll probably be about half an hour before we start cooking.”

“Okay!”

As you walked past them towards the pool, you unsuccessfully tried to stop yourself from glancing back to sneak another peak of Mr. Cameron, and you felt your heart skip a beat when you caught him staring at you as you left.

Your cheeks were flushed when you reached the chair where Charlie was lounging, and she raised a curious eyebrow when you greeted her.

“Are you getting burnt already?”

“No,” you laughed, reaching to your waist to peel off your wrap skirt. “But I could use a little sunscreen.”

Charlie grabbed the bottle beside her and passed it to you.

You thanked her as you poured some into your hands to start spreading onto your face. After making sure it was all rubbed in, you squirted more into your hands to massage into your chest and shoulders.

Tossing a glance over your shoulder, you were unsurprised to see Rafe staring again, and you made a little show of rubbing the oily lotion across your cleavage as you pretended not to notice him.

It had only been a week since you had snuck into his room after the party and it had been nearly impossible to stay away from Mr. Cameron.

Your waking hours had been possessed by daydreaming about Rafe. Imagining him catching you in the house, pining you to the wall with a large hand clamped over your mouth and fucking you while you had to stay quiet to avoid being caught was a frequent fantasy of yours, one that you really hoped he would act out on you.

But your imagination stretched further than just that. You couldn’t help but insert yourself into scenes of domesticity with him. You liked picturing the two of you in the cameron household together. Rafe would praise you for cooking dinner, wrapping his arms around you, before a protective hand settled on your swollen belly.

Ever since the party, you had felt more determined than ever to have his child.

You knew that he was off limits on so many levels, he was your father’s best friend and your best friend’s dad (not to mention he was married and more than twice your age), but deep down you knew that the depravity of it all was exactly what drew you to Rafe in the first place.

Although, it wasn’t like Charlie had been the best friend to you recently. You were still somewhat pissed off that she had let you stay out at that party where you had been attacked alone.

You shuddered thinking about what might have happened if Mr. Cameron hadn’t arrived in time to save you.

As quickly as the thought arose, you buried it, not wanting to get caught up thinking about what had happened at the party.

What had happened after the party was of much more interest to you.

You could still remember how amazing it felt to come undone around him and how desperately he had kissed you that night. Goosebumps erupted across your skin when you recalled how Rafe had sounded groaning your name as you squeezed around him.

God you wished that he had finished inside of you; although you couldn’t deny how hot it was to be covered in his seed.

A heat was rising inside of you, and you knew that it wasn’t just from the hot Carolina sun.

Throwing another glance towards the porch, you could see your dad and Mr. Cameron beginning to grill the burgers and hot dogs, while your mom and Mrs. Cameron were still chatting on the swing.

Pressing the back of your hand to your forehead, you could feel the sweat beginning to form and you knew it was time to cool off.

Leaving your wrap skirt behind, you left the pool to approach the house, watching Rafe as you got closer.

His jaw clenched when he spotted you, interrupting his sentence midway as he lost his train of thought.

Your dad turned to see what had distracted Rafe, shooting you a confused and questioning look.

“I’m getting really hot,” you explained, not missing the way Rafe’s hungry gaze had swept over your body. “Do you have any ice cream?”

Your question was aimed at Rafe, who you innocently smiled at, and you felt triumphant when he stumbled over his words.

“Um y-yeah, Y/N, there’s some um.” He paused, trying to collect himself in front of your father without drawing any suspicion. “Some popsicles in the… um in the freezer.”

“Oh, that’s perfect, thanks!” You grinned before continuing to the back door.

Rafe stared at you, watching the way your ass moved when you walked. His mouth was watering, jaw clenched so tight it was amazing it didn’t snap off. He was so distracted, he wasn’t looking when his arm got a little too close to the grill.

Inside the kitchen, you walked up to their large fridge, opening the freezer section before looking around for the popsicles Rafe had mentioned.

You grabbed a cherry flavored one out of the bag and took off its wrapper before sliding it between your lips.

The sweet, refreshing treat hit the spot, beginning to cool you down instantly.

You heard the door open and you turned to see who had followed you inside, not surprised to see Rafe.

But you weren’t expecting him to rush to the sink to run cold water over a fresh, red burn right below his elbow.

“Shit-!” He cursed, exhaling lowly as the cool water soothed the burn. You could tell it wasn’t too bad of an injury.

“You can’t be pulling shit like that in front of me, kid,” Rafe scolded you. “Especially not when your dad is standing right next to me, fuck!”

He finally turned to look at you, and his breath hitched as he watched you suggestively slide the popsicle across your lips, staining them red with the melting juices.

“You hurt yourself?” You asked with wide concerned eyes.

Rafe’s jaw clenched before he licked his lips, staring down at you with an obvious mixture of annoyance and arousal.

“How did that happen?” You lightly teased, reaching a hand out to touch his unburned arm. You slid your fingers over his muscles as you drew closer, sucking on the cherry popsicle as you stared up at him through your lashes.

Your heart was racing, you were just so excited to finally be alone with him again.

“It was your fucking fault, Y/N-” he snapped, grabbing your wrist with a tight grip before suddenly stopping himself and releasing you.

You were surprised by the force behind his grip, but Rafe had let you go before you could even protest, and he stared down at you as he breathed heavily. You could tell he was trying to hold himself back by the veins that bulged near his temples and in his neck.

“Shit, I’m sorry, but you’re not making it any easier for me when you walk around my place wearing…” he trailed off as he gestured at your bikini. “It’s distracting.”

“Oh, sorry, Mr. Cameron,” you purred, noticing his eye twitch when you called him ‘Mr. Cameron.’

“Are you trying to get us caught?”

You rolled your eyes, but he continued.

“Y/D/N would fucking kill me if he had any idea of what we did-”

“I know, I know,” you frowned, not liking feeling like Rafe was chiding you like a kid.

He noticed the change in your tone of voice, letting out a sigh before wrapping his good arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. His fingertips danced over your exposed skin and you leaned your head against his chest, thrilled to have such close contact with him.

“I’m just saying, we need to be careful. There’s no need for anyone to know what happened. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

You gave yourself a once over in the mirror before leaving, feeling confident in your pale pink mini skirt and matching polo sweater.

Walking through the living room, you let your parent’s know you were going golfing with Rafe before you ducked into the garage to grab your clubs.

After a short drive, you parked in the Cameron’s driveway, waving at Rafe as you got out of your car.

He was leaning against his golf cart waiting for you when you walked out, and he offered to take the heavy bag from you to load it into the back.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, sweetheart.” He looked you up and down again, clearly pleased with your outfit choice. “You look very nice.”

You beamed as you climbed into the passenger seat, scooting closer to Rafe as he backed out of the driveway and started heading for the course.

Looking out at the greens as you approached, you noticed how few players were out today. It must have been because of how hot it was.

You fanned yourself with your hand as Rafe pulled up to the first hole and parked under some trees.

After stepping out of the golf cart, you grabbed your driver out of your bag, thanking Mr. Cameron when he handed you a tee and a ball before stepping onto the green.

“Let’s see if you’ve improved anymore since we last played, huh?” Rafe teased with a grin. “Have you been practicing?”

“Yes sir,” you replied playfully. You bent down to place your tee into the ground and set up the ball, hoping that Rafe would get a peek of your white panties under your skirt.

“Remember what I told you la-” his voice caught in his throat as he caught a glimpse of your underwear.

“What’s that?” You asked him sweetly, correcting your posture so you could turn and meet his eyes with an innocent smile.

“Um-” Rafe paused, his adam’s apple bobbing as he dryly swallowed. “Here, turn around again.”

You followed his instructions, turning your back to him as he pressed closer to adjust your form.

“You gotta keep your legs just a bit further apart, kid.” Rafe reached a hand down to your thigh, pressing gently on your exposed skin just below your skirt to urge you to spread your legs.

“Yeah, you want to have good balance,” his deep voice from behind and his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and goosebumps rose where he had brushed your upper thigh.

“And then you need to lean back just a little bit.”

His hands found your hips, pulling you back towards him, and you let out a quiet moan when you felt him press his hard on against your ass.

“Make sure you’re gripping the club the right way, sweetheart,” his voice strained as he ground his hard on against your core.

Your brain was getting fuzzy and you could feel a wet patch on your panties getting damper. You fumbled with the golf club, trying to get a better grip on it because your palms were beginning to feel so sweaty.

Finally, you managed to swing and hit the ball, but Rafe didn’t even wait to see where it went, easily scooping you up into his arms and rushing to carry you back to the golf cart, pressing hot kisses into your neck the entire way.

He put you down onto the seat but you surprised him when you moved to the floor of the cart on your knees in between his legs.

You palmed his cock through his shorts and he groaned, eagerly reaching for his button and zipper.

Rafe freed his erection from his boxers and your mouth watered at the sight of him.

The night you had snuck into his room, you had been so desperate to feel him inside of you that you hadn’t had the chance to stop and really look at him.

You reached out, wrapping your hand around the base of his length. His dick was probably around 8 inches, maybe more, and girthy, with a long vein bulging out and leading to his cut tip.

He was breathing heavily, eyes widening when you pursed your lips, letting a string of saliva drip onto his hard cock before meeting his eyes again.

Rafe watched as you slowly stroked him, once, twice, and then a third time.

You licked your lips before parting them and your hot tongue met his tip, licking off the bead of precum that had gathered there. He tasted salty and he let out a moan as he watched your eyes roll back in your head from the taste.

As your soft lips wrapped around him, the older man’s hand tangled into your hair, pushing you down to take more of him as his hips shifted upwards. You pressed your tongue flat against the bottom of your mouth, stretching your lips to accommodate his size.

“There you go, Y/N. Fuck, that’s a good girl,” his grip on your hair tightened the deeper he inched forward, and you looked up at him through your lashes as your eyes began to water.

When he hit the back of your throat, you gagged, choking on his length when he held you in place for a few moments.

You looked up at him with wide, surprised teary eyes, and Rafe couldn’t hold back his groan.

“You can take it.” His gruff voice only stirred your need to prove yourself to him, and the hot tears that you blinked away barely registered in your mind.

When he finally released you, he slid his cock out enough for you to take a breath before he pushed himself in again, even deeper than the last time.

“God, you’re doing so good f’me angel,” he groaned, and you squeezed your thighs together when you felt yourself grow slicker from his praise.

Tears kissed your waterline as his fingers threaded through your hair. Your core practically pulsed with want and you brought your free hand between your legs, teasing your clit over your soaked panties as you continued bobbing your head up and down the length of his cock.

Spit collected at the corner of your lips, dribbling down your chin as Rafe’s hand guided you faster.

Unable to ignore the burning desire between your legs anymore, you pulled away, climbing onto his lap and sloppily kissing him before he could ask what you were doing.

Rafe kissed you back, his large hands coming to your hips and held you in place so he could grind against your core.

He groaned into the kiss, but pulled back with a disappointed look on his face, and your heart started to sink before he spoke.

“We don’t have condoms-“ he started but you cut him off.

“I’m on birth control.”

The lie slipped out easier than you expected, but you weren’t entirely sure if Rafe would believe you. Or if he would insist you use a condom anyway.

For a few heart pounding moments he just stared at you with a strange look before finally breaking into a cocky grin.

“Shit, you should have told me that last week sweetheart,” Rafe growled, already reaching his hand beneath your skirt to pull your panties to the side.

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, but you couldn’t linger on them for long because Rafe’s hands were on your hips, lining himself up with your slick entrance and slowly pushing you down onto his cock.

The sharp gasp that fell past your lips was quickly muffled when the older man’s hand clamped over your mouth. You whimpered against him as he filled you up, enjoying the way he stretched you out from this angle.

Trying to ground yourself, you slid your arm above his shoulder and around the back of his neck. When he bottomed out and held you in place, fingers gripping your hips so hard it almost hurt, you squirmed in his lap, desperately needing some kind of friction.

“Squeezin’ me so tight-" he groaned through gritted teeth.

He withdrew his hand from your mouth, trailing it to your hips before crawling under your shirt and grasping at your waist. Trails of hot fire danced on your skin where he touched you, and you felt almost delirious with want.

Your pleading eyes met his as you tried to grind your hips against him, and you felt him pulse inside you at the sound of your quieted whimpers.

Rafe kept his eyes locked on yours as his hips started to move, finally giving you the stimulation that you so badly needed.

You met each stroke with the tilt of your hips as he thrusted deep inside you, cheeks burning as you felt yourself dripping around him.

His lips found yours again and when his tongue pushed its way into your mouth, you moaned against the kiss, clenching tight around his length as he snapped his hips against yours.

Rafe broke the kiss, letting his lips meet your neck before mumbling against your skin, “Gotta be quiet, yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to stop your whimpers and soft cries of pleasure. Rafe’s hands had left your waist and were now creeping under your skirt to grasp at your thighs, fingertips digging into your soft flesh.

His lips were still attached to your neck, nipping and sucking on the tender skin as your hips met his every thrust.

In the back of your mind, you knew that you probably should have been more worried about getting caught, but the feeling of Rafe’s cock dragging along your snug walls made you forget all of your worries.

He slid one hand between your legs, thumb circling around your clit.

Your moan was smothered by his lips, and you eagerly bucked your hips into his touch as he picked up his pace.

Looking into his eyes, you could help but feel your heart skip a beat. You felt like you were being seen for the first time, and you couldn’t stop the strong surge of emotions that rose in your chest.

You had been trying to ignore what you thought could have been just irrational feelings for years, but now you couldn’t help but feel that they hadn’t been so irrational after all.

With every push of his cock, you felt more and more sure that Rafe was finally starting to see you the way you saw him.

Rafe Cameron was more than a passing crush to you, and you had never intended to just be an affair to him.

You loved him so deeply that at times it scared you how far you were willing to go to make him yours.

“I haven’t been able to get you off my mind all week,” he groaned, thumb pressing harder against your clit as his hips snapped against yours.

Your pulse skipped a beat at his confession and you wondered if sex had been the only thing he had been thinking about or if he wanted more.

The heat building between your legs was undeniable now, and the sudden thought of Rafe finally coming inside you made you clench down around him.

“You feel s-so good,” you whispered, eyes rolling back in your head when he hit a spot deep inside you; and you could feel yourself getting wetter with each stroke of his cock.

You gripped his back as the pad of his thumb swirled around your clit and you tilted your head up to kiss him again.

Rafe pushed his tongue past your lips, tasting the inside of your mouth and the pressure building between your legs finally became too much.

You squirmed in his arms as you came around him, but Rafe never slowed his tempo, holding you in place as you pulsed around him, squeezing his cock as your orgasm washed over you.

The older man tightened his grip on your hips, thrusting harder and harder until his hips finally stuttered and he spilled his hot sticky seed deep inside you with a low groan.

Feeling Rafe cum inside you for the first time was enough to send you over the edge a second time and you tensed in his lap as you came around him again.

Trying to catch your breath was a challenge and you didn’t want to get off of his lap, but Rafe lifted you up, pulling your soaked panties back into place before sitting you down next to him in the cart as he tucked himself back into his shorts.

He looked around the course for a moment, and then he met your gaze, reaching a hand up to stroke your cheek as your heart beat loudly in your chest.

“C’mon kid, we got a round of golf to finish,” he smirked.

#dark!rafe cameron #dark rafe cameron #rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x reader #citcc #crying in the country club #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x dark!reader #dark!rafe cameron x dark!reader

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ybklix · 6 months ago

Text

you can be the boss

★ pairing: softdom!chrisbang x inexperiencedfem!reader part one / PART TWO

☆summary: The hot summer continues with more lies and uncontrollable experiences that you never know exactly how they will end.

✧ genre - warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, daddy kink, spanking, clitplay, fingering, cunnilingus, piv, pet names, multiple orgasms, tiny bit angst

word count: 8k

masterlist - taglist ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

It was either going to be a very long and beautiful summer or a fateful and hopeless one.

After that night your body was sore, it was only soft and sweet when you asked but upon asking him to do it fast there was no turning back. It was late at night and you both had to go back to your rooms as someone was waiting for you there when you woke up. Chris hugged and kissed you sweetly stroking your hair for a while until you could control yourself from something that seemed uncontrollable, your body destroyed but absolutely filled in pleasure and satisfaction, it had only happened once that you wanted to become addicted, his strong arms on your naked body made you think you always belonged there. Tormented you wondered why you had to meet him like this and not do it on your own, without him being involved in a compromising situation.

Chris looked at you fondly, all of you were struggling to recover and gently told you that you could discuss everything in the afternoon in his office, where most of the time Ruby won’t interrupt or bother him… and him mentioning her and you hearing her name, you almost came back to all your senses, wanting to tell and reproach yourself what you had done, what were you thinking having sex with your aunt’s boyfriend but… once again, being wrapped in his arms those questions and blames were meaningless, you liked Chris and he was treating you very well, you didn’t understand what was wrong with that.

And then, something that excited you slightly again but you hid it in a soft smile, Chris whispering sweetly to you:

“I want to try so many things with you. I’ll make you feel so good.”

You weren’t that naive, but when it came to Chris you suddenly became just that. You were so excited about all the things he could do to you and everything you could do with him -and his big cock-, you never thought you’d find yourself in a situation where you were actually incredibly horny. However you were also a little disappointed that your horniness won you over completely, enough to cheat like that on a woman who has been nothing but nice to you since she met you and opened you up to her family, as much as to trust you and show you her new boyfriend which this time she was hopeful and excited about, and to have unprotected sex with him. You wanted to self-manipulate, convincing yourself that the pill would work its magic and you would be more aware next time, not to stop fucking Chris, just doing it with protection next time, you just couldn’t stop now you had him.

The next morning you avoided everyone’s gaze, you felt too dirty and embarrassed to even look at Liv, for as much as she said she would love to fuck Chris, she would never do it and it was just a little joke, instead you, took the little jokes to another level, he had a girlfriend and was someone you knew very closely.

Still there was a force that drew you to him, and there you were, going to his office in a very strategic and hidden room in his house at the end of that hallway. Ruby started a pilates class and Minho was going to distract Liv, the details of which Chris wanted to avoid in knowing how he would do it. Chris confessed to him a little ashamed of what had happened and of the words that suddenly came out of his mouth that night, he might have been a little drunk but he remembered every detail of what had happened a few hours ago, which he was grateful for, he had never felt like that before. Minho encouraged him a little, telling him that if it was you who he really wanted, that breakups exist for a reason with no problem, that Ruby was his girlfriend of just months and they didn’t in itself have a wedding plan, at least not for Chris, while he also told him that he felt slightly guilty, he always had different sexual partners at the same time, but when he was in a relationship it was common sense that he was devoted to that person, but now, it just seemed to change.

Now he was in his office, sitting on the couch, with his ankle on his thigh, one hand on his mouth and one on his thigh, waiting for you, in a pensive mode. His mind was spinning, thinking what would be the ideal thing to do, he was immensely fond of Ruby, but all he could think of was the also immense desire he had to meet you, something about you appealed to him so much, he wanted you for himself.

His mind didn’t seem to be quiet until you appeared there, standing in front of his door, locking the door so as not to be interrupted. You smiled at him and he returned the gesture immediately; you watched him, he looked incredibly dominant in that position, with his index and middle finger wagging in indication for you to approach him, in contrast to his soft, sweet expression, with his eyes sparkling at the sight of you dressed comfortably in a white ruffled skirt and a thin strappy blouse of the same color with a cute little cherries print detail on it.

Chris lowered his leg and looked at you with fascination as you stood nearby, raising his eyes.

“Hey,” you greeted shyly with a smile, about to not do such a shy act.

You leaned on his shoulders and settled on top of him, facing each other. Chris smiled and quickly grabbed you by the waist. He took a closer look at you, you were wearing a thin silver necklace, earrings and no bra, Chris could see how slightly your soft nipples were marked on the fabric of your blouse and his mind quickly thought that you were most likely just wearing your panties under your skirt, turning him on in seconds, but before touching you, he wanted to talk a little serious.

“Hey my babygirl” he returned your greeting, to which you softly bit your lip as you finally heard his voice.

The image of him and your weak body being taken and fucked lived in your mind forever, exciting every inch of you, you wanted to do it every time and this time you didn’t want to have to share it with another woman.

Chris sighed a little frustrated, confusing you a little.

“What’s wrong, Chris?” you asked him genuinely concerned.

The answer was obvious, you were on his lap, at his disposal and more than agreeable to him taking you and doing with you whatever he wanted, but you were a guest in his house, and niece of his girlfriend; about to fuck behind her back while the poor woman wasn’t home. Chris tightened his grip on your waist and began to caress your thighs, thinking it wasn’t fair, to anyone, but you had absolutely not a drop of blood in your young body that tied you to Ruby and god, Chris could see how different the two of you were. You has this power over him, there was something about you that drove him crazy in seconds and yesterday he only discovered a part of it, but he was still trying to figure it out because… how he confessed he liked you just days after meeting you and normally it wasn’t something he would do, he was a righteous guy who knew himself very well, he knew he would never go for women that young and he had never cheated in his relationships, but there you were, looking at him so sweetly that you made him melt with your delicate body on his.

But looking directly into his eyes changes everything about him, you make him go from one emotion to another in seconds and he loves that. Your look so mischievous yet innocent, he wanted to destroy every part of your body and then hold you tightly until he felt every beat of your heart close to him. He wanted that little part of you to never end, it was enough with the slightest thing to fall before you, Chris just needed a sign, and you gave it to him so divinely.

“Y/n” he spoke seriously, capturing your attention completely, “I meant what I said last night, I can still remember everything” you looked at him confused and then your cheeks started to heat up, as you immediately thought about the little sentence he suddenly blurted out and you didn't want to make a big deal out of it, because deep down you could believe that it was just about sex and a part of you was fine with that, as much as you wanted everything with Chris, “…I do like you and I’d like to get to know you better” he finished sweetly.

You couldn’t help but smile broadly with satisfaction and shifted slightly more on his lap like a happy little girl getting good news. His caresses became more consistent Chris loved touching every part of you and he smiled back at you, watching you tenderly.

You watched him, every part of him was a dream, you liked him too from the first moment you saw him, you never thought it would all be so fast and end up consuming you viciously.

“I like you too” you replied, but a silence that was short seconds but somehow seemed longer came over you, “… but, what shall we do now?” your question was so genuine and came out naturally, almost making you look innocent.

“Don’t worry” he whispered softly as he saw your slight frown and your lips in a soft pout, Chris wanted to kiss them and the fact that he could now do it whenever he wanted to, but unfortunately only on the sly, made his insides burn, “We just met at a weird time in our lives. I’ll wait these next few weeks for when your family-, her family leaves and I’ll break up with her.”

Chris said it so matter-of-factly that you were shocked by the fact that he was going to leave her but a part of you was so glad that… he was going to leave her for you. Still, after so many fantasies that finally came true the slight guilt came to you, Chris noticed, you were with your own war of emotions, whether to feel happy, guilty, confused; you over thought the fact that if he was unfaithful to Ruby and if he starts dating you, maybe he could do the same, you didn’t know what to feel, but Chris only returned to hold you tighter, you looked so cute thinking, to him.

“It’ll be all right, really. We’ll get to know each other more and I’ll be here for you” he commented, smiling as his hands traveled dangerously to massage your ass.

You decided to shove the thoughts away and focused on him, as you nodded softly, sticking your body more towards him unconsciously, ready to be kissed, but Chris came closer to your ear, with his body full of arousal and with a husky voice he whispered, following his hot game that put you in such a uniquely horny mode:

“Daddy’s here for you, baby doll. I’ll make you happy, my pretty baby. I’ve got everything under control, so don’t worry. Do you trust me?”

You stood still, listening intently to every word that came out of his attractive mouth with his also attractive voice and shuddered in seconds, making your poor inexperienced pussy and emotions throb to the surface. Chris slowly pulled away from you with a cocky grin and raising his eyebrows waiting for a response from you, licking his lips as he watched you wanting to hide your excited expression and feeling your body giving in to him and his caresses, you were already slightly trembling and he was barely squishing your ass with his big hands.

“Yes daddy” you tried to speak normally as you were dying to kiss him.

Chris nodded softly, losing himself with his hands on your body, caressing everything and making his arousal rise, stiffening his cock at the thought of having you again, with the taste in his mouth that every encounter with you would be better than the last. It would surpass every expectation in him.

He squeezed your ass again, his hands traveling from your thighs to under your skirt, pulling your body into him and squeezing hard making you sigh in surprise.

“You’re a naughty little doll, why are you only wearing panties under your skirt, huh? Is it for daddy or do you go around teasing daddy’s friend too?” Chris spoke again seductively teasing you, raising his eyes and chin to look at you since you were slightly taller being on his lap.

You blinked in confusion, understanding that he meant Minho, to which you quickly denied.

“No daddy, just for you.”

Chris smiled again, licking his lips and biting his lower lip, his large hands took your buttocks almost in their entirety and played with your skin, massaging and spreading them apart, pushing the fabric of your panties further between your folds and making you bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan.

“Is my baby all excited to have her daddy, isn’t she?” he spoke amused, playing with his tongue on the inside of his mouth and you nodded somewhat exasperated.

You were slowly losing patience, your heart was pounding and your pussy was so wet and slippery from your constant lubrication, you needed him again so badly and him talking slightly dirty referring to him as daddy only helped in making you more restless, fantasizing about being more than filled again with his massive cock.

“Stand up a little… like this, on your knees, good girl” he ordered taking you by the waist so that you lifted your body still over him.

Chris quickly pulled down your panties leaving them halfway down your thighs and making you gasp, he boldly eyed your body and lifted your skirt a moment to lose his sight on your open pussy, with your knees on either side of his thighs, biting his lip at the sight of your mons venus and your slightly visible labia. Chris’s cock throbbed trapped in his pants and he grunted subtly. You watched him, with your hands on his shoulders and looking down at him from above, weak and quivering full of sexual energy ready to be slowly released by your new lover.

He brought his fingertips to your pussy, gently brushing your length, shuddering every inch of your body and contracting your body, Chris found himself absorbed in the sight of your pussy, but as he felt your body spasming over his, he quickly raised his gaze to your face. And he left your pussy, wet and exposed to direct his hands to your torso, stroking it up and down until he slowly pulled up your blouse and you let him remove it, tossing it carefree to the side.

The whole process was so hot and slow, your body couldn’t contain it, you were going to explode with excitement if that was even possible, you felt incredibly impatient but at the same time you were enjoying every little moment and new sensation in you.

Chris’ face was almost level with your bare breasts which he watched with fascination but didn’t touch, making your nipples hard at everything you were waiting for, waiting to be touched by him on every part of you.

“Babygirl, take off your skirt for me, come on, let me touch you better” he commented, staring into your eyes.

You sighed and stood up, standing in front of him, about to slide your skirt off until he interrupted again.

“Do it slow, show me everything that is mine that I can’t wait to have…”

His voice ignited everything about you and you did your best to obey him, swaying your hips seductively as you slid off your skirt until you let it fall to the floor; you noticed how Chris indicated for you to come closer and you did, he by himself slid your panties completely off, finally leaving you naked.

“Fuck” he whispered with a noticeable pain in his cock at not being released and attended on, “Come here again, princess, just as you were.”

You smiled happily, once you were naked there was no turning back, you knew he could do with you whatever he wanted and pleased. You positioned yourself again and the first thing he says to you, sweetly is:

“Kiss me now, baby doll.”

You didn’t know why you felt particularly nervous about that request when you were already naked on top of him with his hands on your waist. You again held him tightly by his shoulders and leaned into him, closing your eyes and in search of an act as intimate and necessary for both of you as kissing was. You intertwined your lips making the act so slow and fiery, hearing in the silence of the room your heavy breaths and your mouths colliding, you gently moved your body with excitement as you enjoyed Chris’ hands on you, from your thighs to moving up your waist and massage your breasts, today you were being touched with attention and care without taking a second off him, tasting his tongue and lips while you gently tilted your head to adapt to his delightful pace.

Your body was losing strength and you wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking his hair, giving in to the most sensual make out session that made your skin tingle, but you regained all your energy when you felt his right hand caress your pussy wrapping around your ass. You parted and Chris saw you with a smile as your face was starting to be a mess, flushed, with your lips swollen and trying not to be so obvious that you were loving the feel of his fingers touching your cunt.

Chris with his long fingers found your sensitive spot, taking it with his middle and index finger while his thumb played with your labia and kept teasing your entrance. You shuddered again, sighing softly as he enjoyed teasing you. Chris panted, his erection again was bothering him as it was so tight in his pants, but he didn’t want to move until he was making you enjoy yourself fully, playing with your clit and teasing your entrance with his thumb, inserting it shallowly and moistening it to move it to your sensitive, throbbing labia. You were enjoying them more and more, relaxing your body and letting yourself be pleasured by him, Chris bit his lip and continued to work on your pussy slowly, in a wonderful rhythm that made all your hairs stand on end, he was doing it so well, but he was so incredibly aroused that in slightly awkward movements he returned to kissing your skin, trapping your breast in his mouth, enjoying the sensation of having his mouth busy and his fingers making you feel good, almost you trembling before him.

He gently sucked on your nipple causing you to shiver, you were being a mess of excitement just now as his lips continued to stick to your skin, leaving little marks to finally raise his gaze again and watch you struggle to stay calm, but you couldn’t. Chris drew a big smile on his face again, he caressed your naked torso with his free hand before suddenly starting to spank you and squeezing your buttock, stimulating you further.

You moaned from the impact of his hand with your ass, his smacks were more pleasurable than painful and left your skin tinged red so you groaned in surprise every time you received them; Chris was starting to change the pace and get a little wilder with his movements on your pussy which was bringing you closer to your orgasm, making you restless and pushing you to your limit. He just watched your panting body with amusement, his hand kept slapping your ass and squeezing the injured area, flinching each time, he finally stopped spanking you, to bring the fingers of that hand to your entrance, he raised his eyebrows, almost warning you that he was about to insert them into you, making you gasp loudly, even his fingers were filling you so perfectly. Chris pushed his fingers into your tight entrance, biting his lip as he explored your insides causing his cock to throb with more intensity, so close to his climax in his pants.

His hand kept attending to your sensitive clit at the same time the other was frantically acting on your core bringing your climax closer. You whimpered softly at being touched so strategically, weakening you, straining your muscles so close to your culmination.

“Oh c’mon, are you gonna cum?” his voice thickened and seemed more demanding than a question.

You nodded with difficulty, your body was filling with an incredible knot that you had never felt so intensely before Chris and that only he was capable of achieving in you. He moved his fingers in you harder, reaching to a sweet spot in your inside making you unable to hold back anymore and you released in an orgasm, cumming out into his hand; you had no idea how he accomplished it but your body reacted that way, embarrassing you a little as you faded into the incredible sensation of your climax.

“Oh, sweetie, you made a mess” he said again, looking at you with pity and tenderness.

You didn’t think you were capable of doing something like that so your cheeks grew warm.

“I’m sorry” you suddenly got shy, after being the one to first seek him out in the first place, sneaking up to where he was and proposing something indecent to him, just a few hours ago in the late hours of the night.

Chris let out a chuckle, licking his lips as he pulled his fingers out of you.

“It’s okay. Good girl” he said contentedly elongating his words, “Now sit down and let daddy clean up the mess you left, my pretty baby.”

You looked up at him with tired eyes and felt his hands on your waist and his body move; Chris left you sitting on the couch as he got on his knees in front of you, spreading your legs apart with his hands and you were extremely sure of what he was going to do. His mouth moved to your pussy, pulling your body towards him to better settle in, you sighed, once again excited at what awaited you as with him it was a continuous series of thrills and new experiences that you never wanted to end.

He stared into your eyes as his mouth and tongue caught your clit, you bit your lip to keep from bursting out a little squeal, you were so excited but at the same time you were thinking about more people around his house. Chris sucked on your clit and did it harder intentionally as he felt his aching cock spurting out his cum, indicating that he had reached his first climax just by touching you and tasting a little bit of you. Chris loved touching you in spots that stimulated you enough to shudder, he could play with you all day long. You gasped at your clit being foreplayed sizzlingly and Chris continued with his face shoved in your pussy, licking the entire length of your labia and stimulating you to perfection until he made you arch your back, once again you both found yourselves incredibly horny, you were so wet, enjoying every second until he spoke again:

“I want you to ride my cock, princess, I think your pretty pussy is ready, hmm” he suddenly warned, pulling away from you and leaving you exasperated, he had just left you very lubricated and aroused.

Chris stood up, still well erect despite having cum, he wasn’t going to be satisfied until he used your pussy, putting his big bulge in his crotch on sight for your sore eyes, you looked at him eagerly and your mouth salivated as he did the so dirty hot act with his big veiny hands, which you lost your sight in them, unable to believe they were those attractive big hands touching you; Chris unbuttoned his pants and took them off along with his underwear to reveal his incredible cock already covered in his own cum and wiggling as if it was such a natural thing for him, and he fell back on the couch, sighing tiredly, but more than alive, ready for you to take him with effort.

You sighed half-heartedly and nervously that it would be your first time riding a cock and all you could think was that you wanted to make it the best for Chris and that he wouldn’t regret being the one you chose.

“Mmm… Daddy do you have a condom?”

He smiled at you, “Smart baby. They’re in the second drawer of my desk.”

You were so nervous, the condom was almost an excuse to generate time. Chris watched you tenderly as you reached for the condom and shyly walked a few steps naked into his office. Finally you returned to position yourself on his lap, he looked so relaxed and dominant with his stiff erect cock, watching in detail and tenderness every action you made as Chris had a dirty fantasy of destroying your pussy and the innocence you suddenly radiated.

“Mmm, fuck baby, wrap it on me now, please” he gasped slightly desperate.

You on the other hand wanted to keep acting as natural as possible without him being able to tell you had never done it before. Still, Chris could read you so easily and watched as you opened the wrapper with uncertainty. He licked his lips, gently biting his tongue as he was being attacked for controlling his urges, his urge to take you desperately and fuck you. Chris sucked air between his teeth and tilted his head, giving you his patience as he watched in detail what you were doing, to finally you place it so nicely, unwrapping it down his length and making him sigh which got your attention and you looked into his eyes, almost expecting to be approved but he saw your hands on his cock and then stared at you.

Chris almost in a reflex placed his hand on your cheek, holding you gently and looking at you tenderly, his eyes dark with desire but bright with the incredible feeling you made him sense, he involved feelings and there was nothing he could do, his heart was pounding in his chest and all he could think about was you.

“Alright, babygirl, take me” he sighed aroused and genuinely excited to have you close to him and for you to finally work on his cock.

You sketched a smile, sexual excitement took over your body and your pussy reacted by throbbing every muscle in it, almost screaming to be filled by him.

You took his hard penis almost halfway down his length, wrapped in the thin latex, and lifted your body, lining up your entrance at his tip and letting your body fall, you both made your respective sounds on the spot, you whimpered holding back, trying to adjust to his size stretching every part of you, and Chris for his part grunted again in relief, sucking air between his teeth, so pleased to feel his cock shoved into your soft, wet core, so deep and squeezing his member, almost smothering it in an infuriatingly pleasurable sensation.

“Ahh ah, you’re so big, daddy, fuck” you babbled in pain, dropping your body lower and lower until you caught his cock completely and enveloped it all over your newly used and pleasured —and slightly shattered— tight conduct, just for him.

Chris hummed in satisfaction and you stood still for a second, catching your breath, getting used to the new sensation of his big cock inside you, and watched him, he looked so fucking handsome, waiting with a sweet but penetrating look for you to move on your own in him; you inspected him and became more aroused at the thought of seeing him naked too as he had a dream body, to which you almost in a whisper asked him:

“Daddy, take it off too” you said, tugging at his shirt.

Chris giggled, “Whatever my baby asks, who wants to see her daddy all to herself.”

You subtly bit your lip and watched as carefully that he didn’t bump into you, Chris raised his strong arms, pulled off his shirt, and tossed it carelessly to the side. You saw his body brazenly, his prominent and marked pecs and abdomen, he was all a dream your sex throbbed again already with his cock inside. Chris smiled small and shyly, as he watched your delicate hands pass in comparison to his upper limbs, caressing with fascination his biceps area where on his slightly pale skin his veins were visible and bulging, you squeezed them a little and, in a gasp you pressed his chest to yours, wrapping your arm around the back of his neck, joining your ear to his cheek while with your other hand, you rested on one of his pecs, with some struggling but incredibly full of pleasure and inner fire, you began to move on his cock, causing both of you to moan.

Chris quickly wrapped his forearm around your ass, leaving his hand on your hip. The other one hugged you from your back, pulling you closer to his body, crushing your breasts into his chest and intensifying each deep thrust you had as he lifted your body and ass, sliding his great length in and some of it out until he found a rhythm between some pain, struggles, and ragged breaths. Your insides were squeezing his cock like they had never been before and Chris kept fantasizing about the fact that maybe the concept of innocence he had of you exceeded his expectations. Chirs was being fucking sweetly tortured, he was panting, seeing stars, lost with his chin on your shoulder inhaling your scent, and listening to every sweet moan of your adored body, he was being pleasured and stimulated to the limit.

“Ahh fuck, my babygirl, you feel sso fucking good, I fucking adore your tight pussy, ooh-my—, you’re doing great."

You were a mess, moaning in his ear as your frail body was being supported by Chris’ strength, moving your body up and down, in motions rubbing your whole pussy inside his cock and almost splitting you in two at the intense new sensation. You loved his moans close to your ear and the notorious pumping veins of his sex throbbing inside you. Chris slowly released you from his strong grips that left marks on your skin from the pressure delivered and massaged your ass and then placed his hands on your hips, he now being the one to enjoy his private show of you bouncing on his cock. You understood his action and intention instantly, so using all your strength and common senses, you began to move on him, with frantic and imperfectly persistent movements, you slid his length into your walls leaving you sweetly sore but after a while your poor pussy adapted to perfection, hearing your skins bump as you reached deep from time to time with his latex covered glans tickling your cervix, along with awkward and tender sporadic kisses. After minutes of whimpering, you were so close to your orgasm as well as he was, whose cock had been pumped and foreplayed just enough, Chris was about to explode in his second orgasm also filling the whole damn condom, but he noticed you stopped a moment, tired, when he wouldn’t even let you recover for a second, just like last night; Chris was always going to make sure to make you cum, beg and rejoice in pleasure, of that you could be sure.

“Aw, is my pretty baby tired? Let daddy take care of you, I’ll make you cum.”

His words rocked you, he spoke to you in exactly the same tone of voice as last night, whispering to you that he still wasn’t done with you after your body was exhausted and he continued to unload his energy into you, using you for pleasure, filling you with it too in the process.

Chris braced himself, his strong right arm went back around your back and his left hand held your buttock, you stayed still, he held you still, waiting for his next move and pulling your body off a little to see his concentrated face and then he began to lift his hips, collapsing his pelvis intensely and rapidly into your skin, making the act so hectic, desperate and sonorous. Chris gasped in pleasure, filling his body with his near orgasm and your breathless whimpers each time he rammed hard and deep into your pussy leaving you shocked, his thrusts were desperate but coordinated in a pace that weakened you and left you out of breath. His big length was sliding inside you without mercy, he had an exquisite control of his body and was strong enough to hold you while he kept penetrating you, moving your insides, pushing your cervix more and more, you felt your guts being brutally moved and that made you incredibly horny somehow.

You whimpered louder as you felt yourself being brutally pounded, filling the room with a bestial and erotic scene, your weak body surrendered to him, begging for the pleasure that suddenly filled every inch, with your moans, his babbling and your skins collapsing in the background. If anyone came near Chris’ office door they could be an audible witness to the grotesque sounds of the two of you.

“Shh shh, babygirl, keep a little quiet, okay? Just today baby, remember we’re not alone” Chris mumbled panting, turning you on more at the thought of fucking him secretly.

You bit your lip hard, almost making it bleed, your face and hair were a mess as was the rest of your satisfied and aching body. Your exposed breasts rubbed against his pecs hardening your nipples as your body moved intensely. Chris licked his lips, running the tip of tongue naughtily across his upper lip savoring your sweet orgasm as he felt your walls squeeze him hard, you endured quite a few hard thrusts from Chris, sweetly destroying your pussy, you endured enough to collapse into him, hugging him tightly and clenching his torso with your bent thighs and falling into an intense climax.

Chris smiled satisfied and proud and rammed your tired body a couple more times until he made himself cum inside you, this time in the condom.

You were both shaken and tired, without the slightest hint of guilt in your system, only lust and desire for each other, sharing ragged breaths, with your exhausted body on top of him, and your face resting on his muscular shoulder.

Chris stroked your back again, moving up to caress your hair, feeling your breath on his chest.

After a few moments he dared to speak:

“I’m sorry we have to do it here, you really deserve the best, babygirl.”

His words touched your heart and you played with his slightly curly hair at the back of his neck. Just thinking about him.

[…]

The rest of your weeks were just as hot as the exasperating weather. And you both came up with a plan, where you convinced your dad to leave Chris’ house a few weeks early, with the excuse that you had been selected for a few courses before the new semester started and you had to have accessibility to your university as soon as possible, to which your dad and Dahlia agreed to leave instantly without hesitation, arguing that your education was of the utmost importance, plus the only reason they were there was because you were having fun with Liv, once you left, Liv would soon ask her mother to leave too, since it would be pointless to stay there without you, besides Minho, but it was going to look too obvious that she wanted to stay. Then Minho would leave without a problem. You guys leaving would left Chris and Ruby alone, in an environment where Chris could finally break up with her.

And so they did, it was a very big break up for Ruby, but you didn’t want to know the details so you didn’t comment on it, let alone didn’t want to hear it from Chris, yet you heard it in the foreground from Liv, texting you and saying a bit apologetically: I really feel bad for her, she looked a bit delusional. Ruby was devastated, wondering if she had done something wrong or if suddenly inviting her family had been too soon and if it secretly irritated him, she really didn’t want to leave Chris, but she had noticed him distant at his house for a while now and always brought up as an excuse that he didn’t feel private enough to fuck her when previously he could do it with her so rashly wherever, they used to be so hot and close and a few days into spending the summer at his house everything about him suddenly changed.

You felt bad but you forgot about it once your dad bought the story of going back to college and, while they thought you were studying those weeks before your real semester started, you spent all your time with Chris going on all kinds of dates and exploring each other’s bodies, discovering more and more new and exciting positions and emotions you never thought you’d be able to experience this soon.

Things were going pretty well, he treated you like a princess, he showered you with gifts and each time he took you to different places to end the day in a fiery and exquisite sex, to start it the same way when you went to stay at his apartment, where it was your new meeting place as you felt that his summer home after all was… even though it was alone, you felt that there were ghosts, some better than others, of you and Chris having fun around his house sneaking around every corner you saw alone, but that there was also present a painful breakup along with the broken heart of a woman who should not have ended up like this. There were nights when, after culminating in an intense orgasm, you tried to recover in Chris’ arms, with your face on his chest feeling his heavy breathing and you could only think and think… that maybe the one who should be there was not you, but if you were not with Chris what sense would your life have, since he gave it a new meaning.

But it all got a little complicated when you were quietly shopping with Chris as he swore he was going to cook for you something delicious. You never thought he was that much of a homely guy, but he was, he was sweeter and softer than you thought and he had a soft spot for you, everything you said he would deliver, so you wanted to stop going to restaurants for a moment and enjoy his company in a sweet and silly moment together cooking. Plus you had gone back to college and the first week of classes was already getting on your nerves, but your very kind man who knows exactly what to do with you was going to take that weight and stress off your shoulders by having a nice time and then letting the situation take care of itself.

Grocery shopping was not much in fitting with Chris' image, however he, sweetly leaned over to put his chin on your shoulder, watching you debate over which can to take, to which he pointed to the one you were holding in your left hand, causing you so much tenderness at his closeness and smell, however you were heavily interrupted as you heard such a familiar voice that he instantly recognized.

“Chris?” she spoke.

He cursed internally and had no choice but to face her, turning around and finding his ex-girlfriend. Ruby took a confused look at your silhouette with your back turned, you looked so familiar to her but she wasn’t thinking straight as she realized Chris was already with someone else.

“Hey, Ruby. What are you doing here?” he greeted, falsely happy with a smile, more uncomfortable about the situation.

You were curious as soon as his name was called, but you remembered something else from shopping that you stood there, returning the can you held in your right hand and putting the other one in the shopping cart. But hearing Chris say her name you almost broke out in a cold sweat… you guessed the moment would come but you didn't imagine it would be so fast, you sighed thinking about how you had to face it and the world would move on just the same after your meeting and she finds out you're with Chris, move on so unimportantly it would just be an awkward afternoon and you'll still be with Chris afterwards.

“I like coming here since you recommended it to me. I see you're already in company” she said again, in a fake animated tone.

Ruby noticed him nervous, not knowing how to evade the situation, feeling bad that maybe he didn't even want to see her. But it was true, it was Chris' favorite place to buy his groceries and he had shown it to his ex-girlfriend too because it was so commonplace to him. Big mistake for her, although deep down she hoped that one day she could meet Chris alone and from there keep talking, but in her imagination there was a scenario where he was by himself.

Ruby was dying of curiosity to know who the girl was that Chris was so smitten with with his body attached to hers from behind. It all happened in quick seconds even though it seemed like tormenting hours of suspense. She never thought he would break up with her because there was someone else, it had barely been weeks and he seemed to be over her already.

“Yeah, well…” commented Chris.

You acted fast, turning around with grace that even made you look attractive and revealing your face, she got the immense and indescribable surprise that it was you. Her blood pressure dropped from her body, of all people she never expected to see you.

“Ah, hi Ruby, I ran into Chris too” you said trying to sound so natural, sketching a smile.

Ruby's world stopped for a second and you didn't have to be stupid enough to believe the obvious lie, you were together, there was no doubt about it. She had just watched as Chris positioned himself behind your body confidently, his hand gently on your waist and hunching down to let his chin rest on your shoulder.

She blinked in puzzlement, formulating all sorts of thoughts and ideas in seconds that made her uneasy, how was it that something suddenly came up between you, if you met when she introduced you, or so she wanted to believe, she thought about the possibility that you had met before, and the possibility of infidelity, but Ruby wanted to believe you, thinking that maybe you started right after their separation, it still seemed foolishly ridiculous and so soon.

“Why would you come here? The university is all the way across the city and you don't live nearby” was all she could say.

She read both of your expressions, tense and not knowing what to do.

“It's a trendy place…” you replied, to which Chris sighed.

“Are you two together? Since when?” she spoke a little beaten, anger filling her body.

Now she was judging you with her eyes, she was no longer a sad, blank stare, she wanted to kill you both.

“It was after we broke up” Chris answered him.

Your heart stopped for a moment as you finally heard his confession. You weren't exactly together, but you were exclusive to each other and did all sorts of activities.

Ruby smiled incredulously and unwilling to listen, she said:

“Sure, the thirty-something guy changes the woman close to his age for someone younger. Good luck with that.”

She walked away, glaring at you, she was unwilling to hear more about an affair with a college girl that seemed ridiculous to her, she thought you wouldn't last and that Chris was just using you to satisfy himself sexually and rejoice in your youth and slight innocence. She even felt bad for you, she was still devastated.

At first it was that for Chris but he was genuinely interested in you, putting aside everything that was once he established for himself: do not date young women because they were still immature and naive, including some who still relied heavily on their parents, which he was fine with, but moderately so.

You felt bad and judged, it was obvious that Chris was older and more mature than you, but he understood you so well, he treated you and made you feel good, besides people after thirty were not an retired old man, why judge you that way.

Chris didn't mind Ruby at all and turned to see you, noticing your crestfallen expression, he knew that by publicly walking around together at some point in your lives someone was going to notice.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” he whispered to you.

To which you nodded and evaded him by excusing yourself with finishing grocery shopping. On the way there he saw you just as pensive; Chris decided to talk gently to you, but he didn't know what your reaction would be so he didn't want to do it in the car in case the conversation escalated and could turn into your first argument. He wanted his attention completely on you and driving would affect that.

You helped him bring down the groceries once you got to his apartment and on the way in the elevator you sighed. You never cared what others might say but today in particular it affected you a little, enough that you didn't speak to Chris the whole time.

You left the groceries on the marble countertop and picked up your cell phone wanting to distract yourself a little. Chris sighed, walked over to you putting his hands on your waist and made you look at him with a:

“Hey, look at me” your eyes met his, everything about him was your weakness, suddenly you were shaking, “We both knew this was going to happen, we just didn't know when and it was going to be unexpected. Don't care what people think, I'm here with you… do you want to stay here with me?”

You looked him in the eye the whole time. You literally didn't care the first time you had sex with him, you were a virgin and he had a girlfriend… you didn't know why hardly the guilt was falling on you as he was finally single and only for you. It all made sense when you felt him close to you.

“Yes, I'm with you” you replied, “I'm sorry.”

Chris smiled sideways, “You don't have to apologize.”

You were slightly overwhelmed between the fact that someone like Chris was taking you seriously, you really thought at first that with him it would be purely sexual, but he knew how to balance it so well, he would say the right words to you and then make you feel so fucking good, always in command of the situation.

You noticed him getting close to your face and received his kiss, just when you needed it so badly to be able to calm down a little, you really went back to your state of mind where you didn't care what they said, he was for you and you wanted him and he made you feel like it was reciprocated. He was the best. You left your cell phone on the counter and kept kissing him.

You thought for short seconds that it was going to be a fleeting kiss but he intensified it, bringing his body more closely to yours and kissing you more carefully and passionately. As he slowly pulled away from you, he licked his lips, he watched you with desire and bright eyes appreciating every part of your face now more animated and enlightened, compared to a few moments when you were slightly sad. He was more than happy to make you feel good and that you were still the same sweet woman that caught his attention a few weeks ago at his summer house, so willing to him and with clear thoughts of being able to have him.

“They don't know how fucking good you make me feel” he blurted out suddenly in a tone you know so well.

Chris was excited, thinking he would remove every negative feeling from your adoring body with his discharge of sexual energy he had for you. And he knew you were going to love every part of the process as you always end up doing, so he was quick to slide his hands under your blouse and kiss your neck, you wanted to tell him so many things, you wanted to whisper to him how much you liked what he was doing but you were engrossed in the new sensations.

Your heart pounded, you saw his slightly mischievous smile before his kisses traveled down your neck, warming your body and driving you crazy at the feel of his lips and nose on your skin, any slightest thing from Chris turned you on in seconds it was breathtaking. You closed your eyes enjoying yourself as his hands squeezed your body, thinking he was starting something you both know very well and you were excited to find out what Chris' next command to you would be. However, just as your docile bodies warmed up, a call to you distracted you, your cell phone was ringing and ringing at the kitchen island, you whispered to Chris to ignore it and continue with his lips on you but the call didn't seem to go away and was persistent, so Chris somewhat annoyed and disappointed persuaded you to pick up, followed by a sigh and removing his hands from your skin. You also sighed in annoyance and tried to sound calm when you were in an incredibly horny mood.

Chris rested his hand on the edge of the counter, waiting for you to finish your call but your expression upset him a little; it was your mother who was asking you where you were and that she didn't understand why your father was hysterical, mentioning a man named Chris, you rolled your eyes, the last thing you wanted was for a scene to form, but it was inevitable. After the call with your mother, you received countless messages from Liv that you were afraid to even look at, messages from your father prohibiting you from seeing Chris, it was a lot to process, so he let out a soft, concerned:

“Is everything okay? Is something wrong?”

You had fallen silent, staring raptly at your cell phone. You sighed as you listened to Chris and put your cell phone on silent mode, completely ignoring the big problem that was forming and that you believed with your being that they would soon get over it, since there was nothing wrong, you saw nothing wrong, you loved him and he loved you and you planned to stay like that for a while, enjoying and learning every single thing with him.

You shook your head, smiling and taking a few steps so you could hug him and wrap your arms around his neck. Chris could sense something was wrong but feeling your closeness instantly calmed him down, just as he had that effect on you and was the reason you sought to hug him.

“Everything is fine” you replied calmly, your body close to his.

“I think I can already figure out what kind of call it was…”

You laughed softly not wanting Chris to feel guilty; you both knew that at some point this day would come as your encounters progressed and you found yourselves fascinated by each other, you really didn't expect your close people to accept overnight so simply some sort of relationship with an older man you met being someone else's partner, but… it happened.

“It's okay, and here with you” you repeated to him what he had told you a few moments ago, making him smile.

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𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @bubblebisk @lolareadsimagines @jisunglyricist

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badscienceman · 4 months ago

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I saw someone ask what "I hope this hurts" means beyond the obvious, and I started to respond only for it to turn into an essay... Because I don't feel like dumping something so long in some unsuspecting person's notifs, I'm just going to post it here instead.

I started writing this after playing the game, but ended up watching a playthrough because I couldn't remember exactly where "I hope this hurts" was repeated. I think I caught the only few times it was mentioned, but I wouldn't be surprised if I missed something, so feel free to correct me on that or anything else I might have gotten wrong.

Spoilers for the full game and CWs for everything you would expect from discussing Mouthwashing apply.

Edited 10/16/2024 for clarity and some minor issues with formatting. I added sections in hopes of making it more readable, as well as a few more screenshots that I hope will support my points better. *Indicates where I made potentially significant additions to my original analysis.

Part One: Jimmy

Jimmy is someone who has a delicate ego. This means that he's very concerned with how he's perceived by those around him. We see this in how he responds to Curly and the news of the company's closure, which he takes it as a personal attack in spite of it very clearly having nothing to do with him on a personal level.

For people like Jimmy, a threat to one's image (whether it's a matter of their perception of themselves or, maybe worse, the perception others have of them) brings intense emotional pain. Even though it's clear that Curly meant no personal offense, and likely saw more good in Jimmy than was actually there, Jimmy sees this as a great threat to his own image, and thus identity.

To be clear, it's not just that Jimmy thinks Curly is looking down on him. It's also that Jimmy needs his role in the company to maintain his image, and he needs to eventually become captain. This is his ultimate goal because the respect and control that someone like Curly has, in Jimmy's mind, is tied to the title he possesses. And Jimmy wants that. He wants respect, he wants to be listened to, he wants power over others. (This is also why Swansea's final speech is so important, in relation to the belief that if one just reaches this next goal, they might feel a little more human, a little more in control, a little more fulfilled, but as Swansea shows us, that's just not the case. And it's true for Jimmy, too. Jimmy isn't magically fulfilled by obtaining the title of captain.)

But in the beginning, Jimmy has yet to realize that just getting the role of captain won't magically make him a man who is respected, or even a man who is truly in control. He sees no opportunities for himself on earth. The only option is to stay in this company and become a little lord of his own ship... and suddenly that's ripped out from under him. He will never reach the goal he's been chasing for all of this time.

Anya telling him about her pregnancy is the final push he needs to go over the edge.

Part Two: Captain

Returning to the initial reveal that the company is shutting down for a second, I think it's important to keep in mind a few things:

1. The importance of the title of captain in Jimmy's mind.

2. How this extends to his perception of Curly, him being the current captain.

3. Jimmy's self-centeredness preventing him from understanding the feelings and perceptions of those around him.

When Curly says what he does, Jimmy immediately jumps to the conclusion that Curly sees himself as above everyone else (and most importantly, as above Jimmy), to the point of considering them "dirt." I don't think Jimmy is just projecting his greatest fear (being seen as lesser) onto Curly. I think he's projecting his own perceptions.

He's placed all of this importance on the title of captain, and thus Curly. The captain is above Jimmy. Jimmy is beneath him, is lesser. And we know how Jimmy treats those he sees as lesser (first Anya, and then the rest of the crew once he's captain, *manipulating Daisuke into putting his life at risk because Daisuke, who is just an intern after all, just isn't important to Jimmy being an example).

I think this is a fair reading because Jimmy does something similar with Swansea when he insists that Swansea is keeping the last cryostasis pod for himself. I understand some might say that this is just Jimmy's attempt to manipulate Daisuke and Jimmy doesn't actually believe it, which is a fair interpretation, but I sincerely think he believes what he's saying in this instance. And I think that because Jimmy sees selfishness as common sense. It's what he would do were he in Swansea's position, and what makes him giving the pod to Curly significant.

Part Three: Anya

So, Jimmy is already hurt and panicking. He sees his chance at power and thus fulfillment slipping away. And then Anya tells him that she's pregnant.

Anya, who he has shown time and time again that he thinks little of.

Anya, who he clearly sees as beneath him.

Any mention of the pregnancy, no matter how gently it was worded, would immediately feel like a threat to him on multiple levels. And not only that, but a threat from someone lesser than him. His image, his status, his control, his power—it's already slipping from his fingertips. *It's happening right then, in that moment. It's not just a potential future where he's held accountable in a real way (maybe if Anya involved authorities, or if Jimmy was legally responsible for supporting a child once they returned to earth). It's happening now, because his image is crumbling.

For this reason, I believe I hope this hurts to be directed at anyone and everyone that he sees as "threatening" him.

Anya and Curly have made him hurt. He wants to make them hurt.

He doesn't care about Daisuke and Swansea. If anything, he's so caught up in himself and this contorted vision of reality, I wouldn't be shocked if he convinced himself in the moment that they, too, were looking down on him for some reason. (See again, "I know what everyone is thinking. The way they look at me." Obviously this is said in the midst of his spiral, after the crash, but I wouldn't doubt the paranoia was there before that moment.)

He wants to make them hurt as they've hurt him. He may also want to make himself hurt in order to vent out his emotional pain. If not, death may simply be the easiest way to escape pain and the threat the future holds in his mind.

*Part Four: Without the Guilt

In addition to all of this, I think crashing the ship (making them hurt) is his vision of what Curly has done or is doing to him. This is how he "leave(s) the dirt behind."

To understand this, I'm going to include the birthday conversation and the conversation between Jimmy and Curly about crashing the ship.

Jimmy: ... So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt. Curly: Jim... If I had known... Jimmy: I can go back to my, how'd you put it? "Struggle of a life?" Jimmy: Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real. Jimmy: And how many employment years Swansea got left in him? Jimmy: Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least. Jimmy: But you. Headed for bigger and better, right? Curly: I'm just... I'm just working on my life being a place I don't have to fucking escape! That's what I was trying to tell you, nothing mor- Jimmy: We're the ones you're trying to escape! Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean! Curly: That's not what I meant. Jimmy: It is what you meant. Jimmy: You just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. Jimmy: Abandon the crew but remain the model captain.

To me, this is one of the most important and revealing sections of the game. Jimmy is not only projecting onto Curly, he's telling us exactly what he's going to go on to do (or attempt to do) when he becomes captain.

In addition to this, we see his manipulation on full display as he twists Curly's words and won't allow him even a moment to truly speak beyond a few lines he manages to get in between Jimmy's ranting.

That's not to mention we see the beginning of yet another pattern in Jimmy's behavior: getting a person to admit their weakness, then using it against them and/or using it to hurt them (he does this with Daisuke, for example, when he hears Daisuke's fears/desire for approval and proceeds to use it to get Daisuke in the vent). Here, Curly speaks about feeling trapped. Jimmy will soon trap him in a crashed ship just as much as he traps him in his own body, which Jimmy will proceed to drug. But I'll return to that.

Curly: Jim. I can fix this. Jimmy: What do you think will happen when we get back? Hm? Curly: We can figure all of this out. You and me. Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy: All I ever hear is how great of a leader you are. God, it's so annoying. Jimmy: But, now... What do you think will happen now when we get back? Curly: We'll fix this together. Jimmy: Everything you and I worked for in our lives. Accomplishments, changes. Jimmy: None of it will matter. Curly: You've gotten through difficult situations before. This time won't be any different. Work through it, one day at a time. Jimmy: It's not just me, is it? Jimmy: You were supposed to be the one who had everything under control. You said so yourself. Jimmy: The ship, this crew, everything that happened here... Jimmy: This was your responsibility, Captain. Jimmy: That is what you'll be hearing the rest of your life. Take responsibility. Jimmy: Or this can all be remembered as a tragedy. Jimmy: Despite what must have been the best efforts of its acclaimed captain. Jimmy: The Tulpar crew was never found. Jimmy: No one survived to tell the tale. Take responsibility. Jimmy: You're standing at the top. Jimmy: Feet in cement. Jimmy: I get it now. Right? Curly: ... Curly: ... Right.

This is an important moment, because aside from the scene in which Jimmy is approaching Curly while he's on fire, it's the only other time that I can recall the game separating from their perspectives to allow us to see them both, standing together.

We see a flash of Take care of it. Kills ninety nine percent. Jimmy begins to pull away. Another flash. He continues to draw back. Another. He turns towards the cockpit.

Jimmy sees through Curly. He sees Curly's worst where Curly sees only Jimmy's best, and he's more that willing to use that against Curly.

He sees a man who is not going to do what's hard. He sees a man who is going to try to "fix it" only in the most superficial sense. A man who confuses the appearance of cohesion and peace with the reality of it. Someone who sees the rocking of the boat as a manifestation of taking action against a wrong rather than the wrong itself.

In the end, it seems they're both ruled by appearances. And Jimmy will soon rip appearances in every sense from Curly's fingertips. He will make him hurt. He will get his revenge. He'll turn Curly into the villain, taking away his title, his respect, and his very face.

For daring to look down on him, Jimmy will turn Curly into dust.

But I think these words—I hope it hurts—come back to haunt him.

Part Five: The Eye as a Mirror

Like I said, I went back to try to find each time the phrase is used. There's the beginning, of course, but then there's the pregnancy sequence, for lack of a better name.

When the Polle monstrosity emerges from the giant uterus (?), we see these words:

In this sequence, we see a lot of different images and concepts connected: Anya's pregnancy and thus her sexual assault by Jimmy are tied to Polle and the company. The emergence of the Polle monster from the giant uterus (and the idea of the removal of the pregnancy) is tied to the mouthwash, as it's an act of "cleansing." This is all then tied to the phrase I hope this hurts.

Unless I missed something, these are the only two moments when the phrase is used: When Jimmy crashes the ship, and when he's experiencing this hallucination.

All clean! Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth, huh? Through wreckage! Through silence! Wash it away! All day fire fresh!

"Clean" is important immediately. "Leave the dirt behind you now that your boots are clean," Jimmy says. Because in this accusation is Jimmy's actual intentions himself. He wants to rise above others and clean himself from their filth. Now, he wants to clean himself of his sins.

I think "Really gets rid of that bad taste in your mouth" is mocking him. A direct challenge to the thought that he could ever truly be "cleaned," at least in the ways he's so desperately trying to go about it. *Not to mention how this connects to the mouthwash, as it might get that 99%, but there's always going to be 1% left.

"Through wreckage" obviously refers to the wrecking of the ship, but also of their lives. All by Jimmy. Though I wouldn't doubt in his mind it connects to the wreckage of consequences (ie. Anya's pregnancy resulting from Jimmy's actions).

"Through silence" I feel connects back to Jimmy's attempts to keep everything quiet, both literally and figuratively.

"Wash it away" also has a mocking edge, as if stressing the foolishness of Jimmy's attempts to treat these very serious events as if it's all just "dirt" he can wipe off.

Finally, we see "All day fire fresh!" This line stresses the connection to the mouthwash, of course. It also calls to mind the concept of cleansing by fire. Important considering Curly.

And after each, I hope it hurts. Jimmy's statement of pure, childish rage. His desperate desire to make others hurt as he hurts. To lash out, to get revenge. To have control until the very end.

This is also why Polle haunts him. Because he, as a man desperate for control, will always be under the thumb of the company even with that title of captain. That hurts him. And maybe the closest thing to ever recognizing the evil he's done to Anya is envisioning it as similar to the company's control, but even that feels like a mockery because he's so horrifically incapable of seeing her as a human being that she's been reduced to her womb. That's what he's really afraid of, in the end, and the fear feels like something else is in control. It makes the organ feel giant, larger than him, capable of hurting him.

When I was watching the playthrough, I thought that there was going to be four or five "I hope it hurts." I thought it would represent each person Jimmy hurts, or all of them, because he hurts himself too. When the sixth came, I thought so much for that theory. But then, I thought about it and there's the fetus. That makes six.

So, I hope this hurts means "I want to hurt you the way I've been hurt. The way you've hurt me." It's Jimmy saying that if his life has been wrecked, he'll wreck yours. It's Jimmy saying he'll shut you up. It's Jimmy saying he'll burn everything down if it means he can maintain control, or even just the illusion of it.

Part Six: Pain

But I think there's another side to this. Like some of the other lines I said feel are mocking him, I think I hope this hurts turns against Jimmy, especially here. And more than that, pain (and by extension, pain medication) plays a massive role in the game, after all. So I hope this hurts feels as if it haunts every moment where it's involved.

Jimmy says this the first time he gives Curly his pills. Pain is how we know we're still living.

The pills are clearly connected to death from the start. If "pain is how we know we're still living" then pain is connected to life and freedom from it is connected to death. That's saying nothing of Anya's use of the pills to kill herself. I think this connects back to the crash, as well. If life is pain, death is an escape from it.

I think it's also significant that the act of swallowing the pain pills is in and of itself painful.

The pills that are meant to take the pain away become a method of torturing Curly. It's a way to make him hurt, and to exert control over him. Even something that should take away his suffering is just an extension of it.

At one point, Jimmy says "Once these are out, we'll have nothing to keep him quiet." In this sense, the pain pills are meant to suppress, not to heal (Through silence!). They're supposed to shut Curly up and keep him from expressing his anguish in the only way he has left (the noises that disturb Jimmy's sleep).

Others have compared this, or Curly's state, to how Anya has been forced to bottle up her own suffering. Jimmy is keeping them both quiet, or at least attempting to. The ultimate form of keeping them quiet would be to, of course, kill them all.

The pills can also be seen as an attempt to hide or conceal the hurt that has been caused rather than to actually heal. In this way, they're like the mouthwash: something that's not really helping, just covering up an issue (and thus making it worse). And the mouthwash represents Jimmy's attempts to "fix" things. He doesn't actually want to make things right, because that would mean taking accountability. He wants to protect his own ego by "fixing" things in a mimicry of Curly "fixing" things in which he wants to create a sense of "rightness" without actually adressing what (or who) has been wronged. Jimmy can't stand to look at himself, because he would see that he really is constructed of his worst moments, or at least, that's what I suspect he would see.

Conclusion

Considering all of this, I hope this hurts can then become a mantra about living in spite of everything. I hope this hurts means "I hope I'm alive in the end. I hope we're all alive in the end." It could mean "I hope I'm allowed to hurt, because I am hurt, and the harm that's been done to me must be seen rather than suppressed and hidden." It could mean "You can't keep me quiet. You can't ignore or hide what you've done to me."

Maybe most of all, I think it means I hope you reap what you sow. When it's turned back on Jimmy, when it's almost mocking or haunting him, it becomes in part about his emotional weakness. About his inability to look at himself and his reality without experiencing the pain of humiliation. I don't think he ever experiences half of the pain he's inflicted on those around him. Still, he has to deal with the fact that his attempt to hurt others instead of facing himself has caused him more pain rather than taken it away as he'd hoped.

And I think that's why he suddenly decides to make Curly a "hero" instead of a "villain." There's a tipping point where he's pushed into a corner. The pain is too much. He hasn't confronted his own actions in any real way, but he's done enough that he can't stand to save himself anymore. It hurts too badly to live with what he's done. It sends him into another stage of fantasy/delusion. The only thing left to do is what he intended to from the start: kill himself to escape and damn Curly to a slow death. Because to go on living in spite of the pain would be the right thing to do, in a sense. To live in the hell of his own creation. To face what he's done. But instead, he'll entrust those heroics to Curly.

This feels barely coherent in the end, so I might come back in a few days and say wow what the fuck was I talking about? But hopefully there's something here that captures some truth. Again, please feel free to correct me if I'm misremembering anything or if I missed something.

#mouthwashing #spoilers #tw #cw #most of the fucked up mouthwashing shit is mentioned here #idk how ppl are handling tws because are some considered spoilers?#idk

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tubes-and-dice · 6 months ago

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I fucking love the dynamics between the ‘people’ and the ‘avatars’ in NSBU.

G13 is using Usha, because he’s a hacker and a manipulator, and she’s exactly the kind of person who can be easily scammed. Haunting. Spine-chilling. Cool as fuck, truly unbelievable storytelling, and it’s developed so organically!

On the other hand, Vic is mentoring Wendell in a way, and we got to see them really sync up this episode, working together to advance the narrative and protect their people. Wendell totally gets the kind of person that Vic is, and I think that helps him take Vic’s advice as the more experienced person- but also know that he’s not always going to be right.

Paula and Jack are sort of… misaligned. She keeps trying to find guidance from him, but they’re almost too similar? Jack so far that we’ve seen is very hands-off, and doesn’t seem all that worried about Paula- or his own family. Whereas Paula of course cares deeply about Jack’s family already, because she’s much more involved and familial minded than what we’ve seen of Jack.

Liv and Kingskin are, I think, the most compatible duo. Liv has settled nicely into her role in some ways, the control and power it grants her suits her well, and it feels like Kingskin likes her because of that? But at the same time her compassion for others is making such a notable difference in the way that she’s able to interact with people in Kingskin’s circles that it feels like he could learn as much from her as she’s learning from him. They feel like the most balanced pair, with the most mutual respect.

Dang doesn’t match Stocks’ vibe at all. He’s trying to do the cool action movie things, he’s playing into the role really well at times- but who Dang is, really, doesn’t sync up. His morals and priorities are very different from Stocks’- for good and bad alike. There’s very little connection between the two, it feels like- to me it reads as Dang just trying to fill the shoes of this Bond-like character, more than anything. Sometimes he’s really able to pull it off, and sometimes it just… doesn’t work. Stocks isn’t helping him. He’s on his own- which it seems is perhaps a norm for Dang.

Then of course, Russell. Russell and Jennifer are not a team at all- what Russell is learning from this experience, he��s learning from simply being Jennifer, not from communicating with her. He’s a man who we know is used to being attractive, used to being complimented and unused to being told off for the way that he behaves. I love the way that Ally’s taken his character as Jennifer- because he isn’t Jennifer. He’s Russell. He doesn’t want to wear a skin-tight bodysuit, he wants to get a baggy shirt to hide this form that he’s not used to, and work with the new skills that he has.

Idk I just think it’s super super cool that all of the players are working within the mechanic so differently, and I think every single manifestation of this dynamic makes so much sense for the characters that it’s just astounding. This last episode was such a good show of these dynamics and the impact they actually have on the plot.

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ms-fade · 1 year ago

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So imagine…

Yan!Adult!Bakusquad x Fem!Reader 18+ Drabble

I pictured a certain type of reader for this but nothing is said. But the reader is shy, slightly innocent and a big sub. Warnings: Sl*t calling, name calling, slight spanking, them being manipulating, also thought of a chubby/plus-size reader but not mentioned.

Being the squads darling and them still trying to control themselves around you so that you can be comfortable. Like holding themselves back from kissing you and pulling you around, or fucking your pretty cunt each time they see you. It’s so hard for them to hold back since they love you so much. When you sit on there lap or hug them, maybe even cuddle up against them at sleepovers. The squad has taken control of your life slowly and you start to think you need them to even breathe. They buy you clothes so you wear it for them, they spoil you to the ends of the world. Slowly you start to relay on them more and more which they felt so happy for.

So when they opened your appointment with a spare key they couldn’t find you, they never told you they were coming over. You just got out of the shower, water rolling down your body and the heat of the room suffocating you almost. But you dropped your panties and had to reach down to pick them up. The door opened just when you bent down to pick it up. Mina blushes and froze when she saw your pussy in full view and your ass stuck out. Her dreams fail in comparison to the real thing. “Naughty girl, waiting till I open the door.” You jumped out of your skin and quickly covered yourself back up with your towel that was to short.

“Mina!” You screamed and she inches closer while her eyes clouded over, and her tongue tracing her lips. “Don’t be embarrassed, baby~” she grips ahold of your hips and it causes you to squeak. “I’ve been dreaming of that pretty pussy.” Her lips smashed against yours and you didn’t have time to protest as she kept kissing you. Your body heated up and moaned against her lips. The boys came to the door and watched amused at the sight of you almost bare and being kissed by Mina. Their cocks harden at the sweet sight. “Thought we’d do that together.” You opened your eyes and saw their eyes all on you and you got embarrassed.

“She started it,” she smirked and reached up the towel from behind and smacked your ass. “Showed me that pretty pussy, she was begging.” You shook your head in protest. “D-didn’t know you were here.” Kirishima came over and titled his head, his eyes matching the dark spark in all of their eyes. “But you do want us to see you, hmm?” He asked and you couldn’t get your voice to work. They watched you shake and get so flustered that you looked away with a pout in your pretty lips. Soon his hand come to your cheeks and squished them together and yanked you closer, they could tell he wasn’t being light with his grip.

“Such a little slut, showing only Mina. We all give you everything and you want to keep it to yourself?” You look up at him with wide and teary eyes. “Or do you want to be a good girl?” It sounded so nice when he spoke, the nickname rolling off his tongue that it light a fire within you. You nodded and he let you go, you look at all them shyly. Taking a deep breath you drop your towel and bend down to show the boys exactly what Mina saw. You hear them growling and groan at the sight. “Pretty girl.” Mina patted your head and pulled you back up.

“I did good?” Their hearts melted at the submissive tone in your voice. Mina smiles and cupped your cheek, “Did so good.” You smile and your head went light. Footsteps came across the tile and stopped behind you, big hands landed on your hips and yanked you back. “I don’t think I can kept myself from ruining you,” the voice you could tell was from Bakugo. His hands trailed up your waist and to your chest, then over your breasts to give the nipples a twist making you whine. “Want to be our little slut?”

His cock pressed hard against your bare ass and you almost moaned at the feeling while thinking of it in you. “Don’t hog her bakugo.” Denik groans and comes in front of you with a smile, “Look at you, pretty girl.” His fingers went to your thighs and you instantly stiffened up. “Come on, speak up.” You licked your lips and blinked your eyes up at him. “Y-Yes. I wanna be yours- All of yours.” Bakugo chuckled while he kissed your neck and tugged on your nipples which causes you pain but pleasure.

“That’s it, give yourself to us.” Another pair of hands reached for your body and the boys didn’t fuss over it. “Such a dirty girl, but only for us.” Sero looked down at you and his arms held you close to him, your nipples on his chest. He laughed at your expression of full bliss and then picked you up to carry you to the bedroom. They all laughed as your squeal with your ass and pussy just handing over his shoulder squirming.

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nickel156 · 27 days ago

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THE HoW "GIFT"

Rhysand “gifting” the House of Wind to Nesta and Cassian because, honestly, it wasn’t sweet or generous, it was a manipulative trap. On the surface, it looks like this grand gesture, but when you really think about it, it’s just another way to control Nesta.

Nesta still lives in a house she can’t leave on her own. The House of Wind is isolated, and she’s completely dependent on others to fly her down or take her where she needs to go. Rhysand knows this. He knows that by keeping her in the House of Wind, he’s ensuring she stays in a controlled environment, cut off from the rest of the Night Court and the world. Sure, they slap a “gift” label on it, but it’s not about giving her freedom, it’s about maintaining control.

Let’s not forget the history of the House of Wind either. It’s the very place where they punished her with forced labor in the library, the place where she was emotionally manipulated into “healing” on their terms. This house has been a prison for her before, and now it’s being rebranded as a home? Rhysand’s “gift” isn’t about love or kindness; it’s a way to keep Nesta exactly where he wants her. Under his thumb, dependent, and isolated.

If this was truly a gesture of goodwill, she would’ve been given a place where she could come and go freely. But no, the House of Wind keeps her trapped, disguised as a luxury. It’s manipulation, not generosity. Let’s call it what it is.

#i'm not delusional. you're delusional #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti inner circle #anti cassian

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ambrosiagourmet · 11 months ago

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Did Laios have a plan

... when he made his deal with the Lion? How much of it was intentional and how much of it was out of his control?

Well. If I'm being honest I don't really want to try and provide a definitive answer to that question, because I think the ambiguity is, itself, part of the story. I've gone back and forth a few times myself, and I don't think either category - "fully intentional" or "fully coincidence" - is entirely true.

That being said, I would like to point out a few things that I've seen taken for granted as true. Things that, imo, are much more about the character's perspective, or about what the character WANTS people to think (well, that's really just the Winged Lion).

Consider this not exactly an argument for "Laios masterminded everything from the start and saved the world with his cunning," but more... "Laios considered what he was doing more than people give him credit for." Make sense?

Alright then, let's go:

So to start with, I want to show every time (that I could find, at least) that the question of 'does Laios have a plan' gets brought up. This is specifically after his Ultimate Monster Form is revealed, to be clear - the question isn't about if he has a plan in general, it is if he has/had a plan when he made this specific deal with the Lion.

Here they are:

You'll notice, in all of these instances, there never really is an answer given to the question. Either because there is no way to get one, or, with Kabru at the end there, because he explicitly doesn't let Laios answer. There's even a bit of an arc here: we start with a sort of desperate 'I've mostly given up but maybe this isn't as bad as it looks,' then get a more optimistic 'maybe we really are saved,' and finally end on 'it all worked out in the end, so we maybe don't need to know.'

But, as much as there is some genuine growth in Kabru's 'accept the outcome, rather than dissecting the truth,' I also think it says a lot more about him than about Laios. Kabru is the one trying to handle his questions and his uncertainty - as he said, he wants to confirm his judgement of character. He wants to feel like he had control over things.

And he lets that go! But he also doesn't actually get the truth, either, and his implied assumption here (that Laios, the wide-eyed monster-lover, probably just followed his desires), still relies on his judgements and assumptions about Laios.

But okay, these bits are all focused on the characters theorizing about Laios. How about we look at the character who actually tells us the facts ("facts"): the Winged Lion.

The Winged Lion has quite a bit to say about Laios and his monster form.

He says that Laios hates humanity, and would rather be a monster

I've talked about this a bit already, but the Lion makes a lot of claims and assumptions about Laios that aren't necessarily true.

First of all, let's just make sure we clearly establish that the Lion is being manipulative here. That may seem obvious, but it's important to understand that there is a difference between 'the truth' and 'a version of the truth specifically framed to prey upon your deepest shame and insecurities about what you really want.'

To point out a few quick-and-dirty contradictions here:

If Laios really hated all other humans, then the Lion wouldn't hinge so many of his other arguments on Laios' love for Falin and his friends.

the Lion claims that Laios "[doesn't] even care enough about the future of [the] world to express an opinion about it," even though Laios has literally expressed opinions on what he wants for the world, to the Lion's face.

In general, the Lion does not make a distinction between urges and choices (see, for instance: him using Marcille's subconscious fear of the canaries as a way to keep her from stopping the monsters from attacking in chapter 86).

I'm not saying there is not a piece of truth here, but also... we are not our darkest thoughts, and we especially are not those thoughts as defined by someone who wants to hurt and control us.

But let’s move on to the stuff the Lion claims about Laios once he has been turned into his monster form.

2. He says that (or rather, acts like) Laios is under his control

The Lion really enjoys grandstanding about how Monster Laios is an ultimate tool he has control over. He gloats about making Laios fight the others, and has him smash through the magical barrier.

But smashing the barrier is kinda the only thing that Monster Laios actually does for the Lion. He doesn't attack anyone. He doesn't hurt his friends, despite Chilchuck thinking that Laios has "turned completely into a monster." And he certainly doesn't simply let the Lion go through with his plan to eat everyone.

This barrier smashing is actually an interesting and odd thing for Laios to have done specifically, so remember that one. I'll come back to it later.

But, yeah, to the original point... despite the Lion's dramatics, all that Monster Laios does is pose, smash up a magic barrier, and then eat him. Not exactly under his control.

AND SPEAKING OF EATING THE DEMON...

3. He frames Laios attacking and eating him as thoughtlessly violent

This one is pretty funny to me, and the Lion keeps it up for the whole scene. I'm not sure how much of this is his genuine understanding of the situation, and how much is him intentionally framing things in the most insulting manner, but like... truly. The ego involved in this. To see someone who has, multiple times, tried to stand against you - someone who has literally wished for your non-existence, to your face - to see this person attack you, specifically, and have your first reaction be 'huh, I guess he's a reckless weirdo to the core???'

Incredible stuff.

And this part, too:

He claims that Laios can't recognize anyone, that he's out of control. And yet, the Lion is the only person that gets eaten here. He is Laios' singular target.

Hell, Laios even specifically attacks one of the bodies that is actively hurting Chilchuck. I don't know if that was entirely intentional on Laios' part, but I do think it's notable.

The Lion torments Laios' friend, and when Laios does something that interrupts that action, the Lion reframes it as unhinged violence. I don't know, there's something here about the way that cruel people only talk about the things people do to resist them as violent, and ignore the violence that causes such resistance in the first place.

In any case, the main point is that the Lion insists on treating Laios like an unthinking animal during this fight, despite the fact that Laios is clearly trying to accomplish something here.

And what exactly is Laios trying to accomplish? Well, the Lion isn't entirely wrong. Laios is trying to eat something. He tells us as much.

And truly, everything Laios does as a monster points to this. He had a goal. And he accomplished it.

Let me back up a moment. I need to explain smashing the barrier.

So, Laios first starts considering how to kill the Lion when he is confronted with the fact that his only other choice would be to kill Marcille. Immediately and entirely discarding that solution, because of course he does, he tries to wrap his head around what defeating the Lion would even look like.

He clearly continues thinking about this, as a nearly identical conversation happens a few chapters later, when Laios is once again told that killing Marcille is the only way forward.

Only, this time, he's started to come up with an idea for how to do this impossible thing.

Harkening all the way back to the Living Armor chapter, Laios draws on the same lesson - if the Lion has made itself part of the world, if it has made itself into something alive, that means he can kill it. And eat it.

But there's an important extra detail to this. If he's going to try and kill (and eat) the Lion, he needs to strike when it’s vulnerable. He needs to strike when it's eating.

This is why he smashes through the barrier. Again, nothing else he does as a monster really benefits the Lion. He doesn't attack anyone else. The only command he obeys is to smash the barrier. Because the Lion has to think he has won for Laios to be able to eat him.

Beat him. For Laios to be able to beat him.

The question of why Monster Laios wanted to eat the Lion is, I think, the most ambiguous part. Was he curious? Hungry? Did he fight for his own life, for his friends, or for all of humanity? Did he know how to win because he had planned everything from the start, or because he was driven by an unquenchable instinct to do whatever it took to survive?

I don't know that it is possible to say for sure. But I do know that the Lion underestimates Laios, through it all. He underestimates Laios as a human, and he underestimates Laios as a monster.

And in the end, after he is bested, even then I don't think the Lion ever gets Laios. I don't think he understands how much Laios means his words about the Lion being burdened by hunger...

or what Laios cares about most...

or what meaning there is in life, for him.

So I don't buy what the Lion is selling about Laios, generally speaking. I don't buy that Laios didn't ever know what he was doing, and I don't buy that he was nothing more than a hungry beast.

Well. I mean. He was a hungry beast. But he was a more than that too. He was the Devourer of All Things Horrible. And he didn't just happen into that title by chance.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #winged lion #dissecting how the Lion's negging works is a great exercise in understanding manipulation honestly #dungeon meshi spoilers #dunmeshi analysis

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kr-starz · 2 months ago

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I saw a TikTok about how Ambessa and Silco's last words to their daughters weren't out of love and oh my god am I pissed OFF, (no hate to this creator)

I am NOT super into Ambessa and Mel's relationship so I will not be elaborating on them at ALL, but here's what I feel like what Silco and Jinx's relationship can be chucked up to.

First of all, I'm not here to say Silco and Jinx was a healthy relationship. They're not. They are both mutually toxic and enabling. Silco could very well be classified as manipulative, but did he love Jinx? Yes. Let's just state this now, Silco is an underground drug lord who's trying to control the underground as a whole. In an attempt for independence and making Zaun a reality, he's come up with an immoral plan that does nothing but benefit him and his socioeconomic status. Improving his own status with both power, and influence, with Shimmer. That is how he is making himself heard to the people of Zaun, that is why he is so powerful.

In order to keep this status of power, he needs people. Loyal people. Sevika as an example is undoubtedly his most loyal. We have to also acknowledge that Silco is not scared of Jinx swaying to the pilties side, or siding with enforcers. He's more worried about how erratic Jinx can be, Silco might have a semblance that Vi is alive, but she's in a cell. Vi has been locked up and she is basically dead for what he knows, since, well she's responsible for blowing up a high ranking officials home and robbing them. Which would probably put her away for an incredibly long time.

Silco's impression is that Vi will no longer be in the city of Zaun for an incredibly long time, or she's dead. Him telling Jinx that Vi is gone isn't incorrect. She's in a cell, impossible to see. It is manipulative how Silco's isolated her though. He was indeed convincing Jinx of an outcome that was false and tried to convince Jinx that the only other person in her life that she was hopeful to see was no longer there and did not care for is a tactic that abusers use in order to convince their victims that they're the only person they need in their lives.

This was, necessary, for Silco at least. At this point in the story, Silco has yet to realize just how much he values Jinx as daughter. He continues to care for Jinx gently though, as a parental figure.

There are two faces powerful men must uphold. Their status and their values must be something unmovable, which means he must exude a powerful presence. So when Silco is doing business, he usually has a very different energy around him. But when Silco is at his home, he acts this way specifically with Jinx. He is soft. He is never inclined to make moves to touch or guide her. He acknowledges exactly how mentally disturbed Jinx is and does the very least in order to not agitate her. He knows Jinx has episodes and breakdowns which cause her to do harsh and brutal things. Yet has he ever yelled at her for hallucinating? Has he ever blamed her for being ill? No, he acts accordingly. He wants Jinx to acknowledge that there have been consequences to her actions, natural Karma, yet he doesn't blame her, he simply tells her.

When Jinx screws up the first Job, when they encounter the firelights. He first asks Sevika what happened, which gives him a clear run-down of what happened. Then, he goes over to Jinx, asks her what happens. He's open to hearing her side of things which is essential for trust in a relationship. To continue this topic of trust, he hands Jinx his syringe. He trusts her, even after screwing up to poke him in the eye and give him his dose of shimmer. All these indirect ways of telling Jinx that he continues to have faith in her, that he trusts her and that she is still valuable.

Value; this topic is important for Jinx and her psyche. As a person with abandonment issues, she most likely has adapted to this need of being needed, especially from people she deems important. So through this Silco has realized this and continues to put value on Jinx by giving her jobs and responsibilities, unwavering trust.

During this scene, we see Jinx wrap herself around Silco. She slides from Silco's desk into the same chair that Silco is sitting in. There's a lot of people I see looking at this scene in a strange way which is upsetting to me how they manage to sexualize a TEENAGE DAUGHTER and a PARENTAL FIGURE.

Jinx's love language is physical touch, this is established by Vi and her in the first act. They exchange many acts of casual physical touch. Always on the receiving end though, through Vi cupping her cheek, or touching her physically in other soft ways, I only remember Powder receiving touch from Vi.

When Jinx initiates any form of physical touch to Silco, we see no push-back, we also don't see Silco moving to initiate MORE physical touch. When Jinx is in his chair, he sits back, his hands nowhere near her yet he doesn't deny Jinx closeness. We see Jinx playing with the syringe, and this is the only time where Silco initiates touch. Not directly by the hand but by the wrist he grabs her to make sure she's listening. When Jinx pulls away he doesn't resist.

Silco never initiates any physical touch from Jinx, the request of handing over the syringe to Jinx is an act of trust. We can infer, from how comfortable Jinx Is that she's been giving Silco his medicine for years now. This is a tradition, and daughters sitting in their father's laps, especially at a young age is not a sexual act and it is STRANGE to think of it as one.

Jinx and Silco have no concept of what healthy father daughter relationships are. Essentially what Silco's way of parenting is, is "I will let you do what you think is best for yourself, as long as you continue to do some tasks for me." Which means he leaves Jinx to deal with her issues, which he himself is not equipped to handle. This doesn't mean he doesn't try to combat it, he takes measures so that Jinx doesn't have really bad episodes in the first place. He treats Jinx's hallucinations as normal as that isn't something that he himself can tame. But he does know that most of Jinx's episodes come from her trauma of Vi.

So in order to prevent these episodes which seem to harm her physically he does what we see as him Isolating her from Vi, making her not think of Vi, and reassuring that Vi is no longer present. He does his best to help Jinx, does this mean that this was the best option? No! But was this the best option for both his goals and Jinx, yes. It ensured loyalty while doing his best to help Jinx and her Vi induced episodes.

During the bridge scene, we can see that Jinx is badly hurt and Silco in an attempt to revive her in the only way he can is bring her to Singed. I think at this moment Silco begins to see Jinx as something very important, something stronger than just a loyal subject, and more-so his daughter. In the beginning we can see that he is almost 50-50 for Jinx, it's obvious he favors her, defending her and backing her up. Yet he continues to put his cause before her. But when he's found Jinx almost dead on the bridge, he does everything he possibly can to ensure her survival. Because Silco has gone through similarly traumatic events that have changed him (The Silco and Vander event where Vander tries to kill him) we can see that his perception of pain in exchange for power and life is a lot.

When Silco wakes up from being drugged the first thing he does is look for Jinx, then he goes to threaten Singed about where Jinx is. Which says a lot. He values Jinx enough in order to threaten an individual he used to work with, and enough to put his chemicals in his body as well as hers.

After this, there's the last episode of s1. Silco is tied to a chair, obviously kidnapped by Jinx, as well as Vi. He's muzzled, and the first thing he tries to say is "her name is Jinx." to Vi. It's the first thing he says muzzled and unmuzzled. Even at his most vulnerable, he's defending Jinx from her biggest trigger at the moment, Vi.

He doesn't ask to be released, he doesn't question what it's about. But what he does do is tell Jinx about the offer he got from Piltover, for independence. At this moment Jinx is splitting, because of the shouting from Silco and Vi, she's incredibly stressed out. Her two personalities of Powder and Jinx; she's having an identity crisis and neither Silco or Vi is helping. Silco notices the physical pain that Jinx is in due to the fighting, he could also observe how she's basically having an stress-induced episode because of her identities and Vi. So what he tries to do is shoot Vi, in an attempt of getting her to shut up. What Jinx does in response is to shoot at the nearest bullet fired, because here's the thing. Jinx is still in a daze almost, she would've had the same reaction she had with Silco if she shot Vi. Because at the end of the table is the two people she's valued the most.

When Jinx shoots Silco, what Silco does is finish telling her that he wouldn't have given Jinx to Piltover no matter what. Value. He's showing her that he values her. He then goes to tell her,

"don't cry, you're perfect."

This line is a show of Silco, even at the end, he wants to help Jinx as much as he can. "Don't cry." He doesn't want to see her hurt, he doesn't want to see her in pain because of her mental illness, he wants her to be as happy as she can, if she can.

"You're perfect." Jinx is quite literally having an identity crisis. She's on the bridge between Powder and Jinx. What a manipulative person who wants to mold her into the perfect person would've said something along the lines of "don't cry Jinx, you're perfect." He would've included her name somehow. But he doesn't, because right then and there, no matter what Jinx picked. Silco would've been on her side.

Through all of these acts of trusting jinx, and him doing his best to help her, not giving over Jinx in exchange for independence, and his final line of "you're perfect." It's hard to say that Silco didn't love Jinx.

End of TedTalk; and If anyone wants to claim that Silco can't love Jinx because he manipulated her, wrong! I've been in a relationship similar to theirs which is why I feel so strongly about this and It's incredibly obvious what he valued Jinx a lot, he loved her enough to learn her needs and catered to them. Showing Jinx that he valued her was his way of reassuring her he loved her. And him giving one last act of trust, telling her she's perfect shows that his love is unconditional.

#arcane #jinx arcane #jinx #arcane jinx #powder #powder arcane #arcane powder #silco arcane #jinx and silco #arcane silco #silco #silco and jinx #analysis #arcane analysis #startimeyaps

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dimplyowl · 4 months ago

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Okay has anyone written any meta about the differences between our two first mates, Auntie and Izzy? Because I just finished rewatching s2 and was struck by how similar their situations are, and their temperaments, and yet how very completely opposite they behave in nearly identical situations.

Cause like. Both their captains are insanely infamous, badass pirates who have an image to uphold, Ed as Blackbeard obviously, and Zheng as the pirate queen who conquered China. They both become romantically interested in someone who honestly has no business being a pirate: oluwande and Stede, both described as soft, not masculine, yes in the end willing to do violence if necessary, but it’s not their preferred way of handling conflict. People who, maybe rightly, the respective first mates consider potential threats to their captain and crew.

But just the way that auntie handles the situation compared to Izzy. Auntie doesn’t meddle. She is vocal about what she thinks of Oluwande, about her concerns about Zheng being distracted, “compromised”, not focused on the mission. But she’s ultimately acting as an advisor for Zheng, which is exactly what her role is. She doesn’t try to control Zheng, she doesn’t remove Zheng’s agency, she doesn’t threaten Zheng or tell her that she’s pathetic for mooning over Oluwande (I know we never get to see any mooning onscreen but cmon, there has to have been some). When the Revenge crew escapes her ship, and she knows she fucked up, Auntie doesn’t run salt in the wound the way that Izzy would take pleasure in doing. She starts to say “I told you so,” and Zheng very firmly tells her “Don’t”, establishes a boundary that Auntie respects, because ultimately Zheng knows she fucked up and she’s not a child who needs to be taught a lesson or managed. Auntie respects her and her personhood.

And compare that to Izzy, who consistently manipulated Ed to get in between him and Stede, threatened Stede’s life on multiple occasions, essentially mutinied against him, sent the cops after them, and then berated and threatened Ed over being heartbroken.

Like, even down to nearly dying. Auntie has a severe gunshot wound in her shoulder that she will clearly die from if she doesn’t accept help. She’s spent the entire season being tough, unwilling to show weakness, equating softness to weakness, but in the end she decides to accept help, to accept a little bit of softness, to change and accept that softness can be good. Izzy in contrast, declines help, knowing that he’s done. He knows he can’t fit in to this new world, this new piracy, where people can be soft and vulnerable and still fucking kick ass. He’s been resistant and outwardly aggressive to this idea, and he chooses to die rather than accept that softness. Ofmd is ushering in a new era of pirating, and Izzy doesn’t fit in it, and doesn’t want to fit in it, and ultimately, narratively, that’s why Auntie survives and Izzy doesn’t.

#ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #ofmd s2 #izzy hands hate club #ofmd meta #izzy hands #izzy hands critical #Izzy critical #auntie #I love her so much #Zheng #I love her too lmao

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callsigns-haze · 4 months ago

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His Shadow: Chp 5

masterlist part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Azriel, secretly juggling his responsibilities and personal life, maintains a hidden relationship with YN, who works at a pleasure house in the Hewn City. She was his light, his love, his passion. Yet being his darkest secret is a hard role because life in the Hewn as a young female isn't the easiest as the two of you hold an even dark secret yet to be told...

Pairing: Azriel x reader

This series contains mature themes: Explicit depictions of violence, including physical and emotional. Themes of secrecy. Descriptions of difficult relationships, including strained familial and romantic dynamics. Mature sexual content. Themes of power, control, and manipulation within complex interpersonal relationships. Discussions of parenthood and the challenges associated with it, including postpartum experiences.

In the cozy, firelit warmth of the sitting room at the River House, Rhysand, Cassian, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor gathered, their conversation initially light, but soon shifting to more serious matters. The fire crackled softly in the hearth, casting a warm glow over the faces of those present. Feyre sat comfortably beside Rhys, her hand resting on his, while Nesta lounged with a cup of tea, and Mor leaned back in her chair, a curious smile playing on her lips as she sensed the shift in the conversation.

Cassian, his usual easy-going demeanour tempered by a hint of concern, spoke first. “There’s something we wanted to discuss with you, ladies. Rhys and I... well, we’ve been noticing something off with Azriel lately.”

Feyre’s brow furrowed as she looked between her mate and Cassian. “What do you mean? Is he alright?”

Rhysand leaned forward, his violet eyes serious. “It’s hard to say. He’s been more withdrawn than usual, and we think we might know why. Yesterday, when Cassian and I were out... well, let’s just say we ended up at a certain pleasure house in the Hewn City.”

Mor raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued, while Nesta sipped her tea, her expression unreadable but her eyes sharp with interest.

“While we were there,” Cassian continued, “we met a woman—YN. She works there, and... well, there’s something about her. Something that seems connected to Azriel’s recent behaviour.”

Feyre frowned, her thoughts racing. “Connected how?”

Rhys exchanged a glance with Cassian before answering. “She mentioned she has a baby, and a boyfriend. But there was something off about the way she spoke, as if she was hiding something. And today, we overheard her talking with one of the other employees. She mentioned she’s going shopping tomorrow. It got us thinking.”

Nesta’s gaze sharpened. “You think she’s involved in whatever’s been bothering Azriel?”

“We’re not sure,” Cassian admitted, running a hand through his hair. “But something about it all doesn’t sit right. Azriel has been acting strange, and we know he’s been keeping secrets. YN might be part of that.”

Feyre’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully as she considered this. “You’re suggesting we keep an eye on her? Maybe follow her while she’s shopping?”

Rhys nodded. “Exactly. If we can figure out what’s going on, we might be able to help Azriel. He’s been carrying something heavy, and we need to know if she’s involved.”

Mor’s smile faded into a more serious expression. “Do you really think this woman could be a threat?”

“Not necessarily a threat,” Rhys said carefully. “But she might be the key to understanding why Azriel has been so distant. If she’s somehow involved in whatever he’s going through, it’s worth looking into.”

Nesta leaned forward, setting her teacup down with a decisive clink. “So, you want us to go to the Hewn City, shop around, and see what we can find out?”

Rhys nodded. “Exactly. It’s a perfect cover—just a day out shopping. No one would suspect anything. But keep your eyes and ears open.”

Feyre, ever protective of her family, glanced at her sister and Mor before nodding. “We can do that. We’ll go tomorrow and see what we can learn.”

Cassian grinned, his usual mischief returning. “Just try not to get into too much trouble.”

Nesta shot him a dry look. “Speak for yourself, Cassian.”

The room fell into a comfortable silence as the women considered the plan, the gravity of the situation weighing on them. But before they could delve deeper into the details, the sound of approaching footsteps made them all fall silent. The atmosphere shifted as Azriel walked into the room, his presence immediately felt by everyone.

“Evening,” Azriel greeted, his voice as calm and measured as ever, though his sharp gaze seemed to linger on Rhysand and Cassian, as if he sensed the undercurrent of tension.

“Azriel,” Rhysand greeted smoothly, masking any trace of the conversation that had just taken place. “We were just catching up. How was your day?”

Azriel studied them for a moment, his expression unreadable as always, before nodding slightly. “Productive. Any new developments?”

“Nothing worth noting,” Cassian said casually, though there was an almost imperceptible tension in his posture. “Just the usual.”

Azriel didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he let it slide, moving to stand by the window, his gaze distant as he looked out at the night sky. The others exchanged a brief glance, silently agreeing to keep their suspicions to themselves for now. There would be time to investigate tomorrow, and until then, they would carry on as if nothing had changed.

But as the conversation shifted to more mundane topics, each of them knew that something had shifted. Secrets were being kept—by all of them—and the truth was only growing more complicated with each passing day.

---

The next day, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor found themselves in the bustling streets of the Hewn City. Despite its dark reputation, the city was alive with activity, the market streets crowded with merchants hawking their wares, and shoppers moving between the various stalls and shops. Feyre kept her hood up, blending into the shadows cast by the tall buildings, though she still felt the weight of curious glances as they walked. She had been to the Hewn City before, but never for something as delicate as this.

As they approached the heart of the market district, Feyre felt Rhysand’s presence brush against her mind, his voice a soft whisper in her thoughts. She’s just ahead, looking at some baby clothes. You’ll recognize her by the dark hair and the buggy. Along with his words came a series of images—snapshots of YN that Rhys had seen when he and Cassian visited the pleasure house with Azriel. A woman with soft, dark hair, delicate features, and an air of quiet strength, even in the depths of the Hewn City.

“Got it,” Feyre whispered back, nodding slightly as she looked to Nesta and Mor, who were both scanning the crowd. “She’s just ahead. Let’s keep our distance.”

The three women wove their way through the crowd, carefully avoiding drawing any attention. The further they walked, the darker the shops became—both in ambiance and in merchandise. The shift was subtle, the luxury of the Hewn City marred by the unmistakable undertone of cruelty and excess. Feyre’s gaze flicked from shadowed alleyways to the opulent yet ominous storefronts, the contrast of the city always unsettling her.

Finally, they spotted YN. She was pushing a simple buggy, dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a cozy sweater, her hair pulled back in a loose bun. The baby in the buggy was small, barely a few weeks old, wrapped snugly in a soft blanket. YN’s movements were slow, deliberate, as she browsed through a rack of tiny clothes, her eyes scanning the options with the intent focus of a mother lost in her thoughts.

“There she is,” Mor murmured, nodding subtly towards YN. Feyre and Nesta followed her gaze, taking in the sight of the woman who had unknowingly become a focal point of their investigation.

Feyre watched as YN reached out to touch a soft onesie, a faint smile tugging at her lips as she ran her fingers over the fabric. Her expression, though serene, carried a weight of exhaustion—something Feyre recognized all too well from her own early days with Nyx.

As YN continued to shop, the baby in the buggy began to fuss, tiny whimpers breaking the quiet air around them. YN immediately turned her attention to her child, her smile softening as she bent down to pick up the baby, cradling him against her chest. She rocked gently, her lips moving in what Feyre could only assume were soothing words.

“Is that...?” Nesta started, her voice low as she observed the interaction.

“I think so,” Feyre replied, keeping her voice just as quiet. “The baby must be hers. The one she mentioned to Cassian and Rhys.”

Mor narrowed her eyes slightly as she watched YN. “She doesn’t seem like a threat. But still... there��s something more going on here.”

Feyre nodded in agreement. YN’s demeanour, her clothing, the way she cradled her baby—none of it aligned with the typical image of someone who might be a danger or have any influence over Azriel. She seemed more like a woman trying to balance the weight of motherhood with whatever burdens life had thrown her way.

They kept their distance as YN continued to shop, picking out a few more baby items and placing them in the buggy’s basket. Her movements were unhurried, as if she had all the time in the world, though the lines of tension in her posture suggested otherwise. Feyre noted how YN would glance around occasionally, her gaze lingering on the shadows, as if expecting someone or something to emerge from them.

As they trailed behind, YN paused in front of a shop that displayed more elaborate and ornate baby clothes, clearly beyond the simple, practical items she had been selecting. The baby fussed again, a soft cry escaping his tiny lips, and YN immediately lifted him out of the buggy, holding him close as she bounced him gently in her arms.

The women watched as YN whispered to her son, the love and care evident in every movement, every soft murmur. Feyre felt a pang of empathy for the young mother—she knew all too well the fears and challenges that came with raising a child, especially in a world as dangerous as theirs. But beneath that empathy was also a growing curiosity. What was YN’s connection to Azriel? And why was she so deeply enmeshed in his recent troubles?

As YN continued her slow stroll through the market, the shadows of the Hewn City seemed to close in around her, a stark contrast to the warmth she tried to create for herself and her newborn son. She adjusted the blanket around Knox, who had finally settled against her chest, his tiny breaths warm and steady against her skin. The cool air brushed against her cheeks as she looked around, scanning the shops with a mixture of exhaustion and resignation.

She pushed the buggy with one hand while holding Knox in the other, her movements careful and deliberate. The market was as lively as ever, with vendors calling out their wares and patrons haggling for better prices. The sounds echoed through the narrow streets, but YN seemed isolated in her own world, focused entirely on her son and the tasks she had to complete.

Feyre, Nesta, and Mor remained several paces behind, moving with practiced ease through the crowds, keeping YN within their line of sight. They observed her every movement—the way she delicately placed each item in the buggy’s basket, how she lingered over certain displays, and the protective way she held her son close to her heart. There was something undeniably tender about the way she interacted with Knox, a deep bond that resonated even from a distance.

“She seems so... normal,” Mor whispered, her voice barely audible above the hum of the market. “Not at all what I expected.”

“Maybe that’s why she’s so dangerous,” Nesta murmured, her eyes sharp as she watched YN pick up a small, hand-knit sweater. “If she’s involved with Azriel, she’s hiding it well.”

Feyre frowned slightly, torn between her suspicions and the simple reality of what she was witnessing—a mother, caring for her child, doing what she needed to do to survive in a place as unforgiving as the Hewn City. She couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for spying on YN, but she reminded herself of the stakes. Azriel was one of their own, and they needed to understand what was happening to help him.

YN moved to another stall, her gaze flicking over a selection of baby blankets. She reached out to touch the fabric, her fingers lingering on a soft, blue woolen blanket that was far more luxurious than anything she had chosen so far. She held it up, considering it for a long moment before shaking her head and placing it back on the pile. It was clear that practicality outweighed indulgence in her world.

Knox stirred slightly in her arms, his tiny fist clenching around the edge of her sweater as he fussed again. YN immediately shifted him, her voice low and soothing as she murmured to him. She kissed his forehead, her expression softening as he settled back into a peaceful sleep. She glanced around the market, her gaze momentarily distant, as if lost in thought. For a moment, she seemed entirely alone, despite the crowd bustling around her.

Mor tilted her head slightly, observing the way YN seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. “Whatever she’s involved in, it’s taking its toll.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Feyre said softly, though she couldn’t ignore the sense of unease settling in her chest. “She might not be a threat.”

Nesta’s expression remained hard, but there was a flicker of something softer in her eyes as she watched YN finally select a plain white onesie, placing it gently in the buggy. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

YN finished her shopping, her steps slow and measured as she made her way toward the edge of the market, the buggy rolling smoothly along the cobblestone streets. Knox was still cradled in her arms, his small face tucked against her shoulder. She seemed tired—more than just physically—but she moved with the determination of someone who had long grown accustomed to the weight of her burdens.

“Let’s give her space,” Feyre whispered, signaling to Nesta and Mor to hang back as they reached the outskirts of the market. “We’ll follow up with Rhys and Cassian later.”

They slowed their pace, letting YN disappear into the shadows of the narrow street ahead. As she faded from view, Feyre couldn’t shake the feeling that they were missing something crucial. There was more to YN than they had seen today, more than a young mother simply trying to care for her child in a difficult world.

YN stood at the base of the narrow, winding steps that led up to the small apartment she shared with Azriel, cradling Knox in her arms. The cool air of the Hewn City brushed against her skin, making her shiver slightly. The streets around her were quiet, the bustle of the market now a distant memory as she and her son returned home from their shopping trip.

Knox had fallen asleep during the short walk back, his tiny body relaxed and warm against her chest. She adjusted the blanket around him, pressing a soft kiss to his downy hair. His small, steady breaths were the only sound she focused on as she stood there, momentarily lost in her thoughts.

But the unease she’d felt earlier at the market lingered, a nagging sense of being watched that she couldn’t quite shake. She had caught glimpses of figures moving just at the edge of her vision, people who seemed to linger too long as she shopped, their attention on her more than the goods on display. YN had kept her composure, acting as though she hadn’t noticed, but her instincts told her something wasn’t right.

She took a deep breath, pushing the unsettling thoughts aside as she gazed up the stairs, preparing to climb them with Knox in her arms. Just as she was about to take her first step, the flutter of wings caught her attention, and she looked up to see Azriel descending from the sky, his shadows swirling around him as he landed silently in front of her.

His eyes, usually so composed and unreadable, softened when they met hers, and she felt a wave of relief wash over her at the sight of him. Despite everything, despite the secrecy and the hidden life they shared, Azriel was her anchor.

"Azriel," she breathed, her voice a mixture of surprise and relief. She had been expecting him to be gone for longer, given the tension of the last few days.

“YN,” he greeted, his voice low and warm, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he took in the sight of his son nestled against her. But as he stepped closer, he immediately noticed the tension in her posture, the way her eyes darted around the street as if she was still on edge. “What’s wrong?”

She hesitated for a moment, glancing around again, as if expecting someone to emerge from the shadows. Finally, she met his gaze, her voice quiet but laced with concern. “I think I was being watched today. At the market. I... I could feel eyes on me, and not just in passing. It was deliberate, like someone was studying me.”

Azriel’s expression darkened instantly, the softness in his eyes replaced by a steely resolve. His shadows seemed to react to his mood, swirling more tightly around him as if preparing for a threat. “Did you see who it was?”

YN shook her head, frustration evident in the tight lines around her mouth. “No. I tried to be discreet, but whoever it was, they were good at staying out of sight. I didn’t want to draw attention by looking too hard.”

Azriel’s jaw clenched as he processed her words, his mind already racing through the possibilities. The Hewn City was full of people who could have an interest in YN, and not all of them would be friendly. The fact that someone had been watching her—someone skilled enough to remain undetected—was deeply troubling.

He stepped closer to her, reaching out to gently brush his fingers against her arm in a comforting gesture, though he kept his touch light, aware of the public space they were in. “We’ll figure out who it was. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

YN nodded, though her worry didn’t fully dissipate. She had known the risks of being with Azriel, but it didn’t make the reality of them any easier to face. She glanced down at Knox, who remained blissfully unaware in her arms, and her resolve hardened. She would do whatever it took to protect their son.

Azriel leaned in closer, his head dipping toward hers as if to whisper something, but she knew the movement was as much about shielding their interaction from any prying eyes as it was about speaking. His proximity was both a comfort and a reminder of the secrecy they were forced to maintain.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “For everything. For not being able to protect you both the way I should.”

YN looked up at him, her expression softening as she reached up to touch his face, her thumb brushing against his cheek. “Don’t apologize. We knew what this would be when we chose it. We’ll figure it out together, like we always do.”

He nodded, though the tension didn’t fully leave his features. He lowered his gaze to Knox, his expression softening as he reached out to gently touch his son’s tiny hand. The baby stirred slightly but didn’t wake, his small fingers curling around Azriel’s.

“I’ll be home tonight,” he said softly, his eyes lifting to meet hers again. “We’ll talk more then.”

YN nodded, understanding the unspoken promise in his words. “I’ll be waiting.”

Azriel lingered for a moment longer, his eyes searching hers as if to reassure himself that she was truly okay. Then, with one last glance around the deserted street, he stepped back, his wings flaring slightly as he prepared to take off again. YN watched him go, her heart heavy with the weight of everything unsaid, of the life they were forced to hide in the shadows.

---

Azriel sat at his desk in the dim light of his office, his fingers steepled beneath his chin as he stared at the maps and reports scattered across the surface. The room was eerily quiet, save for the faint rustling of the papers as his shadows drifted over them, their movements restless and agitated. He couldn’t shake the nagging sense of unease that had settled deep in his chest since YN had told him about being watched in the market.

His thoughts were a tangle of possibilities, each more troubling than the last. The Hewn City was a treacherous place, filled with spies and informants loyal to whoever paid the highest price. If someone had been watching YN, it could mean any number of things—a rival, an enemy, or even someone trying to get to him through her. The thought sent a cold shiver down his spine, a rare surge of fear that he quickly buried beneath layers of calculated resolve.

But as he sat there, letting the silence settle around him, something didn’t quite add up. Whoever had been watching YN was skilled, yes, but the timing, the precision—it felt too familiar. His instincts, honed over centuries of espionage, were telling him that this wasn’t just a random occurrence. There was something more deliberate behind it, something closer to home.

It was then that the faint sound of voices reached his ears, muffled by the thick walls of his office but distinct enough for him to catch fragments of conversation. Azriel’s shadows swirled more tightly around him as he focused on the voices outside in the hallway, recognizing the low, familiar tones of Cassian and Mor.

“…I just wanted to be sure she wasn’t a threat,” Cassian was saying, his voice carrying a hint of defensiveness. “It’s not like we could just ask him outright.”

Mors voice responded, tinged with a mix of concern and frustration. “I get it, but what if he finds out? You know how protective he is—especially after everything that’s happened.”

“Rhys told us to keep an eye on her,” Mor continued. “We weren’t going to hurt her, just… observe. Make sure she wasn’t involved in anything that could put him or the rest of us in danger.”

Azriel’s breath caught, realization dawning like a slow, creeping shadow.

The inner circle.

It was the inner circle who had been watching YN, trailing her through the market, spying on her every move. His fists clenched beneath the desk, a mix of anger and betrayal swirling in his chest. They had been so close to finding out—so close to uncovering the one secret he had kept from them, the one part of his life he hadn’t allowed them to touch.

He exhaled slowly, forcing himself to remain calm, to not let his emotions betray him. There was no point in confronting them—not yet, at least. If they suspected YN of being a threat, it was only because they were trying to protect him, in their own misguided way. But the thought of them tailing her, of making her feel unsafe in the one place where she should feel protected… it made his blood boil.

Azriel pushed back from the desk, rising to his feet with a quiet, controlled movement. He had to get out of here before the anger bubbling beneath his calm exterior spilled over. He needed to be with YN, to ensure her safety and shield her from any further interference. He would deal with the inner circle later.

As he stepped out of his office, the voices in the hallway fell silent. Cassian and Mor looked up as he passed by, their expressions carefully neutral, though Cassian’s brow furrowed slightly as if he could sense something was off. Azriel didn’t acknowledge them, his face an unreadable mask as he walked past, but he could feel their eyes on him, could sense the questions lingering on their tongues.

Just as he reached the main hall, he was tackled by a blur of movement, the sudden impact almost knocking him off balance. He looked down to see Nyx, Rhys’s son, grinning up at him, his small arms wrapped tightly around Azriel’s leg. A second later, Agnar, Cassian’s son, joined in, his laughter ringing through the air as he attempted to climb up Azriel’s other leg.

“Uncle Azriel!” Nyx shouted, his bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “We got you!”

Azriel couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips as he ruffled Nyx’s dark hair. “It seems you did,” he replied, his voice softer than it had been all day. Despite the turmoil in his mind, he could never resist the infectious energy of his nephews.

He lifted Agnar into his arms, the boy’s wings fluttering excitedly as he settled against Azriel’s shoulder. Nyx clung to his other side, laughing as Azriel hoisted him up as well, balancing both boys with ease.

As he carried them down the hallway, he passed Rhys, who was leaning casually against the doorway of his office, arms crossed over his chest. Rhys raised an eyebrow, clearly picking up on Azriel’s unusual demeanor.

“Azriel,” Rhys called out, his tone light but laced with curiosity. “Heading somewhere?”

Azriel met his gaze, his expression carefully guarded. “I’m taking a week off,” he said simply, his voice brokering no argument.

Rhys blinked, clearly taken aback. “A week off? Are you—”

“Don’t worry,” Azriel cut him off, shifting Nyx and Agnar slightly in his arms. “Everything will be handled.” He didn’t wait for Rhys to respond before he turned and continued down the hall, his steps purposeful as he made his way out of the house.

Once outside, Azriel set the boys down, giving each of them a quick hug before sending them back to the house. He watched them run off, their laughter echoing in the air, before he spread his wings and took off into the sky.

The wind whipped through his hair as he soared above Velaris, his mind already focused on the apartment where YN and Knox were waiting. Whatever plans the inner circle had, whatever suspicions they harbored, he would not allow them to come between him and his family.

Azriel landed silently on the balcony of their apartment, the cool night air whispering through his wings as he folded them behind him. The familiar creak of the floorboards under his boots as he stepped inside was a comforting sound, grounding him in the reality he had chosen—a reality where YN and Knox were his world, even if it had to remain hidden from everyone else.

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cece693 · 2 months ago

Text

My Safe Place (Finnick Odair x M! Reader)

Going back to my Hunger Games phase and not enough fics for male/gender neutral readers can be found for him. So, I aim to fix it :) Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Finnick was known for his conquests whenever he traveled to the Capital, however, you were his main client—a man who didn't exactly act like the rest of the Capital society.

tags: mention of sex working, Finnick deserves better, reader is a safe place for him, President Snow being a dick, reader is different, Annie (unfortunately) is dead

The arrangement between you and Finnick was dangerous, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was giving him some semblance of safety, a fleeting escape from the nightmare President Snow had trapped him in. You never liked interacting with people, much less in the manner Finnick’s arrangement with the Capitol required. But when the murmurs began—stories of the young victor's so-called "conquests" echoing in the opulent halls—you couldn’t ignore the tug in your chest.

You weren’t foolish. You knew how Snow operated. Finnick’s dazzling smile was just another weapon in the Capitol's arsenal, a weapon honed through coercion and manipulation. Then you overheard a conversation at a party: a woman bragging about "paying" to spend time with him. Her words were dripping with self-satisfaction, as though exploiting someone so clearly tormented was a badge of honor. It made your stomach churn.

It was easy to connect the dots. Too easy.

The first time you reached out to Finnick, it had been awkward. Not for him—he was all smooth confidence, his charm slipping into place like a second skin. But you? You couldn’t keep still, looking around the suite for cameras or hidden microphones. You didn’t trust the Capitol, and Finnick was bound to be under constant surveillance, his every move scrutinized.

Sensing your nervousness, Finnick took control of the situation, his practiced mask of seduction sliding into place. He began unbuttoning his shirt, moving toward you with a deliberate air. After all, wasn’t this why you’d invited him here? Another Capitol indulgence, another client eager to own a piece of him.

“No!” Your voice cut through the tension as you stepped back, your hand flying up to stop him. The disgust on your face was immediate and unfiltered.

Finnick froze, his hands mid-motion, and for a moment, genuine confusion flickered across his face. “Then what do you want?” he asked, clutching the throw you’d hastily handed him.

It had taken everything in you to hold his gaze. "A safe place. For you. No strings attached."

For a long, tense moment, Finnick didn’t respond. He studied you, his sea-green eyes narrowing slightly, as if trying to find the trap in your words. Then, to your surprise, he laughed—a bitter, hollow sound that didn’t suit him at all.

"Safe places don’t exist in the Capitol."

"Maybe not," you admitted. "But I can try."

From then on, it became a routine. You’d send the payment—an obscene amount, just enough to satisfy the Capitol’s watchful eye—and Finnick would arrive at your apartment late at night. He always used the private entrance to avoid prying eyes. At first, neither of you talked much. Finnick would sit stiffly on the edge of your luxurious couch, his shoulders tense, his hands fidgeting with the sea-green pendant around his neck.

You ignored his discomfort, going about your nightly routine as though he wasn’t there. You’d clean the dishes left on the counter, read a book with a steaming cup of tea, or sometimes sit at your piano and let your fingers wander across the keys. You never pressed him to talk, never demanded his attention. You simply let him exist in the quiet safety of your home.

When the time was up, Finnick would stand, his expression often a mix of confusion and gratitude, before slipping out the same way he came.

It wasn’t much, but it was something.

Months into the arrangement, Finnick began to open up. At first, he stuck to safe topics: the ocean breeze in District 4, the salty tang of the air, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocky shore. His words painted a vivid picture of home, a place you could tell he missed deeply.

You didn’t press him for more, content to let him share whatever pieces of himself he felt comfortable giving. But then, one evening, as you were reading, Finnick spoke a name that hung heavy in the air. “Annie.” The sound of her name made him freeze for a moment, as though he hadn’t meant to say it aloud. You looked up from your book, startled by the weight in his tone but careful not to push. You simply set the book down and waited.

Finnick’s gaze fell to the pendant he always wore, his fingers tracing the smooth surface of the shell. “She was my first love,” he said quietly. “She was different from everyone else. Quiet, kind, but strong in a way most people didn’t see. She didn’t care about the Games or the Capitol. She only cared about people.”

The smile faded from his lips, replaced by a shadow of grief. “But Snow couldn’t allow that, could he? He couldn’t let me have something that made me resist.”

Finnick’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the pendant, his entire frame trembling with suppressed rage and sorrow. “He killed her,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t quick, and it wasn’t painless. He made sure I knew every detail, made sure I understood that her death was my fault."

You watched as his grief and anger boiled over. With a sharp, guttural sound of frustration, Finnick stood abruptly, grabbing a vase from a nearby table. Without hesitation, he flung it at the wall, the porcelain shattering into a million jagged pieces. The crash echoed through the room, but you didn’t flinch.

Finnick’s chest heaved as he stood there amidst the broken shards, his tear-streaked face turned toward you. The raw vulnerability in his sea-green eyes was almost too much to bear. His lip quivered as though he was fighting a battle within himself, one final attempt to keep the walls he’d built intact.

But then, those walls crumbled.

Without warning, Finnick took a shaky step forward and collapsed to his knees before you. His head fell into your lap, his arms wrapping loosely around your legs as though anchoring himself to something—anything—real. The dam inside him burst, and his sobs came in great, shuddering waves, his entire body trembling with the force of his anguish.

You froze for a moment, startled by the intensity of his collapse, but quickly recovered. Gently, you rested a hand on his head, your fingers threading through his golden tousled hair in slow, soothing motions. Your other hand settled lightly on his back, offering a steady, grounding presence.

“It’s okay,” you murmured, your voice soft but firm. “Let it out, Finnick. You’re safe here.”

His sobs grew louder, his pain pouring out in every ragged breath, every muffled cry against your knees. His tears soaked through the fabric of your pants, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was being there for him, letting him release the emotions he’d kept locked away for so long.

“I couldn’t save her,” he choked out, his voice muffled against you. “I couldn’t…I wasn’t enough.”

“Finnick, stop,” you said gently, your voice breaking with emotion. “You were enough. You loved her, and that was more than enough. What happened to Annie wasn’t your fault. Snow…Snow took her because he’s a monster, not because of anything you did.”

He didn’t respond, but his grip on your legs tightened, his trembling body pressing closer against you. You continued to stroke his hair, murmuring soft reassurances, letting him pour his heart out in the safety of your presence. As the minutes passed, his sobs began to subside, the storm of emotions giving way to quiet, exhausted tears. His breathing slowed, though his face remained buried against your knees, as if he couldn’t bear to let go just yet.

“Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely, the words barely audible, yet they carried the weight of his gratitude and trust.

From that moment, something fragile yet beautiful began to bloom between you. Finnick grew comfortable in your space, his presence no longer guarded or wary. He started accepting small gestures of care—a cup of tea, a plate of fresh fruit—with a smile that wasn’t the polished charm he wore in public, but something tender and genuine.

His smiles were rare but transformative, softening his features in a way that felt almost sacred. It wasn’t the grin of a Capitol heartthrob or a victor playing his part. It was Finnick. The real Finnick. And it was in those moments you saw him as the man he was, not the mask he was forced to wear.

Finnick’s feelings for you deepened with every visit. At first, it was subtle: the way his eyes lingered on you a moment longer than necessary, the way his laughter grew warmer and more frequent when you were around. But over time, it became undeniable.

He found excuses to stay longer, to ask you questions about yourself—your favorite books, your childhood memories, your thoughts on the world beyond the Capitol. His curiosity was genuine, his attention focused solely on you, as though you were the one piece of sanity in his life.

And you noticed. Of course, you noticed. You weren’t blind to the way his gaze softened when it met yours, the way his voice grew quieter when he spoke your name. You weren’t stupid—you knew what it meant.

But you didn’t give in.

It wasn’t that you didn’t feel the same way. You did. Finnick had become more than a presence in your life; he had become someone you cared about deeply, someone you wanted to protect, someone whose laughter felt like sunlight breaking through a storm. But you didn’t want him to think that was all you were after. You didn’t want him to believe, even for a moment, that your care for him was tied to his charm or his body or any of the things the Capitol exploited. Finnick deserved better than that.

So you kept your distance, at least emotionally. You treated him as you always had—with quiet kindness and unwavering respect. Even as your heart ached to reach out, to tell him how much he mattered to you, you held back. Because Finnick’s worth was so much more than he realized, and you refused to let him think otherwise.

And then the 75th Hunger Games was announced.

The moment the words left President Snow’s lips—this year, the tributes shall be reaped from the existing pool of victors—you felt your chest tighten. You knew what it meant. Finnick would be going back into the arena.

When his name was called at the reaping, you watched from your apartment, your hands trembling as you gripped the armrest of your chair. Finnick’s face was calm, but you knew the storm that raged beneath the surface. You knew him too well to be fooled by the mask.

Days later, during the interviews, you sat in the same chair, your eyes glued to the television. The Capitol was abuzz with excitement, the crowd roaring with approval as Caesar Flickerman welcomed the victors one by one. And then it was Finnick’s turn. He stepped onto the stage, his signature charm firmly in place. The audience adored him, their cheers deafening as he waved and smiled. But when Caesar asked him the question that had been on everyone’s lips—is there someone special he's fighting for?—something shifted.

Finnick’s expression softened, the mask slipping just enough to reveal the man beneath. “There is,” he said simply, his voice steady but filled with emotion. The crowd erupted in gasps and murmurs, looking at each other as if he was speaking about one of them, but Finnick ignored them. "And I would like to tell them something, if you don't mind."

Caesar, ever the showman, gestured grandly for him to proceed but not before hushing the crowd.

"Though I cannot promise forever, Though the storms still rage around me, I leave my heart to you, And hope you’ll remember me kindly."

No one else knew who the poem was for. But you did.

And in that moment, it was both everything and not nearly enough.

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