#worst thing is literally i have none of my friends who watched the show so now im sitting here like 😭

[ladymortimer]

Finished my Bojack rewatch and everything is worse now

[quin-ns]

Twin Flame (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Word count: 11.6K

Summary: you play people just for the fun of it and they’re none the wiser. the only one who knows the real you is your best friend, rafe cameron, who you have the most fun toying with—and the feeling is mutual

Tags: (18+), toxic!rafe, toxic!reader (they match each others freak heavily), manipulative and mean!reader, violence, brief jj x reader, smidge of dubcon, fingering, unprotected sex, choking, biting, all that fun stuff and messy drama

A/N: writing toxic!reader was so fun actually. had this set pre/in season 1 in my mind so rafe isn’t fullll psycho yet. this is long ik but the plot was plotting and it’s worth it i swear

OBX masterlist + main masterlist

A lot of people would say Rafe wasn’t a great guy. Probably not even a good one. Hell, not even a decent one. But you didn’t care about any of that because, for some reason, Rafe Cameron was your best friend in the world, and you were his.

You didn’t have an exact reason for it, but everyone knew it was true. Sure, you had a few guesses. It could be because you had been Sarah’s friend first but picked him over her, and he needed that sort of validation. Maybe it was because you weren’t like his other friends, most of which you could only handle in small doses. Maybe it was because the two of you saw eye to eye on a lot of things. You looked at the world the same way as him and it was something neither of you had encountered before each other.

Or maybe it was because, even though people somewhat knew the real him, he was the only one close enough to know the real you, and he liked that.

The highs were high with Rafe for sure, but the lows were low. As much fun as the two of you had together, you would fight like words could cut and you were both going for the kill. It was because you really saw each other that you could exist in such a friendship and still return to one another. You understood the worst of each other in ways no one else could.

Whatever it was that drew him to you and kept him there, you didn’t really care. You were partners in crime so long you didn’t feel the urge to ask, and you were certain he felt the same way.

The ‘crime’ thing was literal today, which was lucky, because today was a good day between the two of you.

You were just coming off of an argument that led you to ignore him for two whole days. Then he showed up at your house with a brand new dress and an invite to a party. You’d already been invited to the same party, but the dress was a cute little black piece that was perfect for you.

Rafe was the only one of your friends who regularly bought you things, and even though you could afford them for yourself, you appreciated the thought and effort. And just like that, you accepted the bribe and forgave him. You took your time to get ready and he kept you company, catching up on the last two days as if nothing had happened. You joined him in his drug dealer, Barry’s, trailer as he bought supplies for the party.

You watched Rafe as he drove away from Barry’s with his jaw clenched. He must’ve felt you watching because it didn’t take him long to clue you in on why his mood had suddenly gone sour.

“I should’ve punched him,” Rafe said pointedly, throwing you a glance.

“He sells you coke, so suck it up,” you advised, fighting off a smirk as Rafe’s hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I don’t care so I don’t see why it bothers you so much.”

Of course you got why it bothered him. Most of the time you didn’t bother to pretend around him the way you did in front of everyone else. He could easily decipher your lies and the fakeness in your tone when no one else could so why bother?

This time you were only pretending for your own amusement because Rafe was far too distracted by your interaction with Barry to really pay attention. You could see how much he regretted not forcing you to wait in the car.

It wasn’t even that bad. Barry whistled when you walked in behind Rafe, watching your hands tug down the edges of your little black dress as you entered his trailer.

“Where’d you find her and how do I get one?” Barry had said to him under his breath, although he had a hard time with volume control given that you heard clearly.

The comment set Rafe on edge. He was quick to exchange the money for drugs and hustle you out of the trailer and back into his truck, his hand on your shoulder guiding you the entire time.

“You don’t see why him saying some shit like that would bother me?” Rafe asked with a condescending tone to his voice, fully looking over at you as his truck rolled up to a red light.

Rafe wasn’t as complicated as you once thought he was. You learned his tells. The way he said it alone was enough, but the slight narrowness of his eyes told you he could go either way.

On one hand, you could push his buttons. It was easy for you to get the straight line of his mouth to turn to a frown and set him off. Sometimes it was amusing, watching him get angry. It was what you had done a couple days ago, but when he got angry he could get mean, and that led to the two day silent treatment. Tonight you were on your way to a party and that wasn’t the energy you were going for.

So there was the other hand, where you could reel him back in and get him to calm down before it was too late. Something like a sweet smile and an apology or a joke to lighten the mood would work on him.

You went with the latter given you had nothing to apologize for this time.

“Please, you’d trade me for five dollars if you really need the money,” you teased.

He hesitated for a second, like he was making up his mind. You gave him a little smile and watched Rafe’s shoulders untense. The light turned green and he faced forward again, but you could still see a similar expression appear on his face.

“Ten bucks at least, give me a little credit,” he threw back. “Twenty if I’m feeling sentimental.”

You let out a sarcastic laugh. “As if you ever feel sentimental.”

And just like that he was back to normal. You had the power to do that. It wasn’t a power just anyone had, controlling Rafe. Maybe “controlling” sounded a bit heavy-handed, but what else would you call it?

A few different people had told you that Rafe only seemed truly happy around you, and you figured that was true. Not many people could make him smile just because.

Conversation picked back up again, the two of you going back and forth until you were laughing like crazy. No one else had the privilege to see either of you like this, both you and Rafe grinning and rambling on.

You knew Rafe was in a better mood than before because he was speeding. He usually drove pretty fast, but it was always at a different level whenever he was really happy, or really pissed.

The hit of coke you each did at the next red light didn’t slow him down at all.

He had great speakers in his truck so blasting music was an elevated experience, and rolling the window down to let the wind whip through your hair only made it better.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Rafe said in rapid succession, swatting at your thigh. You sat up with a start, not realizing you closed your eyes or that you had sunken into your seat. He pointed out the windshield at something up ahead, off to the side of the road. You doubted he’d noticed your brief zone-out. “You see that?”

You leaned forward and peered out the window, squinting to try and make out the figure clearly in the dark. “I think it’s a person,” you said. The closer you got, the more his headlights lit up the scene. “On a motorbike.”

“I think it’s JJ,” Rafe guessed. “He drives one of those, doesn’t he?”

You shrugged. You knew JJ—and his friends—but it wasn’t like you were friends. You only knew him because everyone in Kildare knew everyone. You didn’t concern yourself with Pogues the way Rafe did. While he would seek certain ones out to harass, you didn’t bother with anything to do with the Cut unless it directly affected you, which it hardly ever did.

That being said, when the person on the bike looked over his shoulder, it was clearly JJ. He wasn’t even wearing a helmet.

Your body was thrown as Rafe sharply jerked the wheel. Tires screeched against the pavement as the truck swerved up behind JJ as if Rafe were about to totally take him out. His truck was huge, it would be easy. Your gasp turned to a cackle as he yanked the wheel back the other way. You lunged across the truck and slammed your hand down on the horn, blaring it as Rafe let the truck swerve again.

Rafe let out a vicious laugh when JJ twisted the bike too fast in an attempt to avoid the truck and wiped out. In the side mirrors you saw he had veered into the grass. You guessed he’d skidded on the road first. You didn’t look back to see if he stood up, you were too busy watching Rafe with glee, a wicked smile plastered on your own face as he floored it down the street.

You’d been to Topper’s house on more than one occasion, and it was a party, so it wasn’t as if you were going to knock. You tugged at the skirt of your dress then barged inside, Rafe right at your back. Loud music, overlapping voices, and the smell of beer and weed filled your senses. Already energized, you moved through the crowded space with ease. You were in your element. People even parted to make way for you, but that could’ve been a perk of having Rafe looking like your bodyguard.

Rafe was here on business, not to get drunk and dance—your two favorite things about a party—but you didn’t mind sitting by his side on Topper’s couch as he offered a bump for free to draw people in and then negotiated a price for a line. The two of you usually snorted a quarter (sometimes half) of however much coke he bought, but the rest he used to try and make his money back.

Most people were uninteresting to you, but you liked to talk to them anyways. It reminded you how unimpressive everyone else your age was, which was an ego boost for sure—although, ego certainly wasn’t something you lacked to begin with.

Curiosity led you to get distracted sometimes. When you left Rafe’s side to get a drink from the kitchen you didn’t mean to be gone for long, but some guy with black hair in a crew cut and beer breath started challenging you to go against him in cup pong. You guessed he was someone’s relative or new in town because you didn’t recognize him. He boasted how he was the best—the current champion of the kitchen—and no one wanted to play against him anymore. He gave you this stupid cocky smile—not the kind of hot-but-aggravating cocky smile Rafe got when he was right about something—but the kind that made you want to ruin his life.

That would take too long, and it was energy you didn’t want to waste on him, so you played instead. You knew kicking his ass would be satisfying before you even took your first turn, and after, you got to confirm that it was. Ruining his winning streak would be enough.

Rafe taught you to play a few years ago and you only got better, but you weren’t going to thank him or anything. At this point you could probably beat him.

You left Crew Cut in the kitchen, defeated, and stumbled back to the living room. He got a few shots in so you had had a bit to drink, but you were still fully capable. Rafe would probably be annoyed at you for being gone so long, but you figured you could bat your lashes and apologize and he’d forgive you. And if not you’d blame it on Crew Cut for keeping you hostage playing cup pong and Rafe would get his knuckles bloody. Either way, you were sitting pretty.

Except, when you spotted him on the couch, you immediately saw that no, you weren’t. Spite flared in your gut at the sight of Rafe talking to some girl. She had stubby legs sticking out of a short white dress and brown hair that might’ve been pretty if it suited her. And if she brushed it properly. You wracked your memory to put a name to the face, and by the time you had stomped your way over to them, you remembered.

You forced a grin. “Hey, Bella.”

She looked up at you and gave you a smile that felt a little too sweet. “It’s Bethany,” she corrected. Eh, you were close enough. “And hey, Y/N. I didn’t know you were here.”

You wanted to glare at her, to figure out if that was some kind of insult, but you weren’t going to let her get to you that easy.

“Well, I am, and I was sitting there, so.” You shrugged, making the message so get up clear.

“Relax,” Rafe chimed in. Your eyes found him and you knew he could see past your mask. “You did get up.”

You tilted your head. There was a sourness to his voice that only you seemed to pick up on. You flicked your eyes to Bethany, who had this newly satisfied expression on her average face, then back to Rafe.

“Yeah, and it’s not like you own the couch, so,” Bethany commented, emboldened by what she assumed was Rafe backing her up. But no, it wasn’t that. He was upset, you could tell, and he was using her to bother you.

“I just went to the kitchen to get a drink,” you explained carefully.

“You were gone for a while.” Rafe's voice was too even, too controlled.

For someone who was just your best friend, Rafe was more possessive over you than any boyfriend you’d ever had. It went both ways. He was yours just as much as you were his, and apparently Bethany hadn’t gotten the memo.

“You move your feet, you lose your seat,” Bethany piped up with this obnoxious sing-song tone. “Sorry.”

You cringed at the phrase and this time let your disgust show. “What are you, four? Grow up.”

She scoffed and looked at Rafe, seeking some kind of defense, but when he finally took his eyes off you it wasn’t to look at her. His focus fell to something past you. His jaw clenched.

“Rafe,” Bethany barked at him, demanding attention. “Are you gonna let her talk to me like that?”

You almost laughed. Who did she think she was? Rafe’s priority list was short, but it was clear who was at the top and who wasn’t even on it.

“If you went to the kitchen for a drink then where is it?”

“I drank it,” you snarked.

Rafe made a noise that said he didn’t believe you. Warmth seeped into the skin on the back of your thigh just above your knee as Rafe’s hand made contact. His thumb rubbed back and forth, but neither of you acknowledged it. You got an inkling, though, and looked over your shoulder. Sure enough, you spotted Crew Cut. He was right in Rafe’s eyeline and yep, he smiled at you. What a moron.

Rafe must’ve seen the two of you playing cup pong. You were surprised by that. Not that he’d seen, but that he had gone back to sit down instead of making his presence known sooner. You looked back at Bethany, smirking with the knowledge that you’d been right all along. He thought he could make you jealous.

Bethany noticed his hand placement, but it wasn’t like Rafe was trying to hide it. She scoffed and stood, finally understanding her place.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” Upright she wasn’t as short as you thought, but still shorter than you, even in her heels. “So are you,” she spat at you, squaring her shoulders as if she was making some grand stand against you. “You deserve each other.”

This time you did laugh. Right in her face. How could you not?

“Calm down, you Shih Tzu.” Bethany made a sound of offense. “Go whine at someone else’s feet,” you dismissed with a wave of your hand.

The suddenness of the impact almost knocked you back. She was tiny so it wasn’t like your head was spinning from the punch. It more so caught you off guard than anything else. You did have to give her a bit of credit for that. Your nose throbbed as you brought your head back forward.

Bethany’s face was scrunched up and tomato red. The sight amused you, even as blood began to trickle from your nostrils.

“I don’t know why anyone ever said you were nice,” she sneered. If she wasn’t such an annoying little bitch you might’ve been impressed. “You wanna say anything else?

That was true, you were the nice one. That’s what made you and Rafe such a fascinating duo to the people who either knew or knew of you.

Of course, their assumptions weren’t true, but they didn’t need to know that. You didn’t have a real reason to pretend, you just did. But sometimes you didn’t bother—certain people on special occasions got the chance to meet the real Y/N.

A million lines crossed your mind from snarky remarks to scathing insults. Oh yeah, you had plenty to say.

Instead you inhaled deeply, sucking the blood back through your nose. It trickled back down your throat and once it mixed with enough saliva you spat it right in Bethany’s face. Gross, yes, but effective.

Bethany screamed. That garnered an audience. The spitty, bloody mess dripped from her face down the front of her dress. Her white dress. You smiled, not caring that blood caked your teeth. You could taste it. Who wore a white dress to a party, anyway?

Out of the corner of your eye you looked at Rafe. He’d already let his hand fall from your body. The expression on his face was a mix between annoyance from before and current amusement.

Bethany lunged at you, hands out like she was going to try and scratch you or something. She didn’t get a chance because some other girl, who you assumed must’ve been a friend, came up behind her and pulled her back. Bethany made a noise of frustration as her friend dragged her away, but she let the other girl do it anyway.

“Hey! Are you okay?” A hand landed on your shoulder and you turned. Crew Cut had wide eyes, likely having witnessed the scene.

You became aware of all the people staring at you in that moment and internally sighed.

You sniffled and wiped your nose with the back of your hand, then flinched on purpose.

“Ow,” you whined. His hands rested on both of your arms as he encouraged you to look at him. “I think it’s broken,” you whimpered loud enough for surrounding people to hear. Sounds of pity filled in around you and people started to approach. Clearly they’d all only witnessed the second half of your interaction with Bethany, which really worked in your favor.

“That girl is crazy,” some girl nearby said. “You didn’t even do anything.”

“Do you need a doctor?” someone else asked.

Tears filled your eyes. “I think so,” you croaked out to no one in particular.

A hand latched onto your bicep and pulled you away from Crew Cut and the small crowd you’d acquired.

“I’ve got her,” Rafe said firmly as he held you at his side. People started to mutter. “Come on, you’ll be okay.”

The way he said it told you he knew exactly what you were doing. Rafe knew how much you liked being the center of attention.

It didn’t stop you from milking it while you could.

“It’s not okay,” you complained. “She hit me! You saw her, Rafe!”

He leaned down to your ear, his pace quickening. “I’m not gonna fall for your shit so drop it,” he hissed.

“I don’t know if I need to go to the hospital,” you said loudly, covering for him. You put an extra touch of gratefulness to your voice. “But if you think I need to then we’ll go.”

You sniffled again, gingerly touching your nose as you walked alongside him, absorbing all the worried and supportive comments you got on your way.

They were all so busy staring at you that you doubted they could see how pissed Rafe was. Mission accomplished. He had a hard time controlling his face. They probably didn’t notice the other injury you were sustaining, either, as Rafe dug his fingers into the flesh of your arm, gripping tight as he dragged you out the door.

Rafe slowed down once you were out of the house, but still held your arm. All the action was inside so he spoke freely.

“Is your nose actually broken?”

You shook your head confidently, dropping the act from inside. “Hurts a little but it’s fine. She didn’t hit that hard, weak arms I’m guessing. Plus I always got nose bleeds easily as a kid so it looks worse than it is.”

The ease in which you explained made Rafe shake his head. You wiped your teary eyes with the back of your hand to clear up your vision as Rafe led the both of you to his truck.

“Are those even real?” he questioned, but the snark in his voice said he already knew the answer.

“No.”

If he was in a good mood, Rafe would’ve been impressed. But, he was in a bad mood, so you were faced with annoyance and anger instead.

“You’re so screwed up.”

You scoffed. “Takes one to know one,” you muttered loud enough for him to hear. “Ow!” you shrieked as Rafe applied pressure, squeezing down on your arm. “Why are you so mad at me?”

“Why do you think you can lie to me?” he snapped back.

You yanked yourself free from his hold. You’d arrived at the truck without realizing. Likely the reason he let you separate yourself—you’d end up going with him anyway.

“I told you the truth, my nose is fine. Yeah, I was faking for attention, who the fuck cares?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “That bitch still hit me. I should get a restraining order.” Rafe rolled his eyes at the dramatic yet empty threat.

Okay, so you weren’t actually going to do that, but he could show a little sympathy, couldn’t he?

“Thanks for standing back and doing nothing, by the way,” you added when he didn’t reply right away.

That provoked a reaction you wanted. Rafe took a step forward. “I’m talking about you disappearing.” Oh, yeah. “You say you’re going to get a drink, then you’re gone forever and so like a good friend I go to find you. To make sure you're okay. And then what do I see?” Rafe’s voice continued to rise with each word. “You, hanging out with some asshole!”

“What about you?” you shot back. “I go back to you and some random girl is sitting in my spot, and then you act like you can’t be bothered to back me up when she goes psycho!”

“Are you pissed because she was in your spot or jealous because she was next to me?”

“Jealous? Me?” A scoff escaped you at the accusation. Was he insane? “You have a mental breakdown because I play one dumb drinking game with a guy I don’t even care enough to learn the name of but sure, Rafe, I’m the jealous one.”

“I’m not the one who was picking fights,” he reminded, stepping closer.

“Yeah, well, she was a bitch.”

Rafe was so close he could probably hear your heart skip a beat. “So are you.”

The slap of your hand against his cheek echoed through the night air.

Your mouth fell open a little, anger melting into shock. You’d never hit Rafe before, but he was getting in your face and being a dick and you just really had to urge to. It felt long overdue, honestly. Sure, you could argue just as ruthlessly as he could, but he’d only ever gotten physical with you, not the other way around. It was never hitting, never, ever hitting, but this wouldn’t be the first time he left bruises on your arm.

The second you met him on his level, he took it further.

The air was knocked from your lungs when your chest hit the passenger door of his truck. Rafe pressed himself against your back, keeping you trapped as he heaved into your ear, “Now what made you think that would be smart?”

“Only one of us is smart and it’s definitely not you.” The retort was instinctual. Your quick replies amused Rafe most of the time, but that wasn’t the case at the moment.

“You’re so mean tonight,” he said, voice like a warning. “First you abandon me, then you make a scene, and now you’re causing problems again. I sold the rest of the coke but I might have a bump left.” God, he could be so patronizing. It was even more irritating, which was exactly what he was going for when he added, “I think you need to lighten up.”

“Fuck you,” you growled out, squirming against his hold. This was unknown territory. “Stop being a dick and let me go. This isn’t funny.”

He kept you pinned with his body, it didn’t matter that you tried to push yourself back with your palms against the car, he was solid. When his hands rose to pin each of your wrists to the window you were left completely at his mercy.

Rafe leaned down a little, his lips by your ear. Your whole body shuddered at the tickle of his breath as he whispered, “I’m not trying to be funny.” Your teeth clenched. “Are you going to behave yourself so we can go or do I need to wait? I’ve got all night.”

There was a shakiness that tangled itself into his last few words. You opened your mouth to speak but hesitated when Rafe adjusted his stance.

You didn’t let him see the smirk that crossed your face. He was aroused, you could feel him pressing against you. You wanted to say something so bad because it was obvious it was for you. Something witty, something mean, something flirty—just something. But instead you closed your mouth and let your body do the talking.

You rocked your hips back slightly. Enough to let him know you felt it, but not enough to create friction. Rafe reacted how you thought he might. His hands around your wrists tightened as he nudged himself closer to you. He let out a grunt as his cock pressed more against your ass.

Your entire demeanor shifted the second you understood you had the upper hand.

“Rafe,” you said, making your voice sound all breathless. You paired the gasp of his name with rolling your hips back shamelessly.

Rafe grunted in your ear. His hips shoved forward, almost out of his control. Heat flooded your body at the feel of him. The only barrier was your clothes and those could be easily removed.

You rolled your hips again with a giggle.

“You think you’re funny?” he growled into your ear.

You nearly choked on your own tongue. You’d always found Rafe attractive but this whole scenario just put it on another level. You pressed your thighs together to control yourself, but a shaky breath managed to escape. You were having a hard time deciphering what was authentic and what was just for fun.

One of his hands released your wrist in favor of resting around your neck. Not quite squeezing, just holding. The pressure was just enough to let you know it was there and now you were really losing your grip on this whole thing. You shivered against him, your body going rogue. So much for being in control.

Rafe leaned in even closer, his lips pressed right next to your ear as he warned, “if you don’t stop that I’m gonna have to fuck you right here.”

You swallowed hard. No words came to mind.

You and Rafe had never crossed the line in all your years of friendship, which surprised a lot of people. Sometimes you wondered about it, like now. How could you not? He was hot and so were you, and you spent nearly all your time together. Rafe understood you even when it came back to bite you. There was something about him not just toeing the line but stepping fully over it with those words that thrilled you.

You could give in. You wanted to give in because honestly the fact that you never even kissed him, let alone fucked him, was confusing to you now. It would only add another layer to the messy thing you called your friendship, but it didn’t seem like a bad idea. Not with his hand on your neck and his lips at your ear and his cock throbbing against you.

A wicked idea appeared in your head. One fueled by pettiness and your desire for control that you’d forgotten for a moment, but not forever.

Rafe had you caged but not fully trapped. You’d stopped fighting against him, so it wasn’t as hard as it should’ve been to twist your way free from his hold.

“Then let’s go,” you said, not facing him because you’d definitely break if you did.

You yanked open the passenger door and climbed into the truck. Once it shut you looked out the window and found him staring back. Confused, frustrated, and stunned. You smirked to yourself.

Rafe got it together and crossed to the driver's side. He got in without a word. His jaw was clenched too tight. His hand fell to his lap, not even hiding the fact that he was adjusting himself before starting up the truck.

The drive was so quiet it made you want to laugh. Rafe kept looking at you out of the corner of his eye, like he wasn’t sure whether to keep ignoring you or pounce on you. That was just the way you wanted it for now. Now that you knew you were something he wanted, you couldn’t make things easy for him.

You were pretty proud of yourself, honestly. Knowing you’d worked him up like this. It was his turn to suffer a little. Serves him right for earlier. You did get punched after all and he didn’t defend you the way he should’ve.

When he stopped in front of your house all you got was a sharp, “Goodnight.”

“Dream about me,” you said before you slid out and shut the truck door.

Even though you had to ice your nose, you went to bed with a smile on your face that night. Rafe probably went home and took matters into his own hands, pun intended, and you’d bet anything you were on his mind while he did.

You saw him the very next day at the country club. You caught a ride with Topper for the simple reason you knew it would get under Rafe’s skin that you didn’t ask him by default like usual.

Of course you were right. He had a certain intensity to him when he arrived at your usual table and found you and Topper too wrapped up in conversation to notice him. You did notice him, though. You just didn’t show it.

“Hey, man,” Topper greeted him finally, still chuckling from something you had said. You turned your head to acknowledge Rafe but didn’t say a word.

Usually, Rafe would sit across from you. It just made the most sense since the two of you would often get caught up in your own conversations. Topper had even opted for a seat next to the one right across from you because of this.

Instead of taking his usual spot, Rafe dragged out the chair right beside you and sat down. He didn’t acknowledge you either. Topper’s eyes flicked between the two of you, sensing something but not willing to comment on it aloud.

So, he was still pissed about yesterday. Not that it surprised you or anything. Just a very obvious observation.

Soon enough Kelce showed and it made it easier to not comment on what was going on between you and Rafe.

“How’s your nose?” Kelce asked. He ended up across from you since Rafe left that seat open.

You pressed your fingers gingerly to the bridge. “It’s a little sore but I’m okay.”

“Why’d she even hit you?” Kelce wondered.

“Y/N didn’t do anything,” Topper jumped in to defend you. Kelce didn’t necessarily have an accusing tone to his voice, but the question was enough to garner backup. “That chick was crazy.”

You fought to keep the smugness out of your smile. Most boys were easy—like Topper. When he picked you up and asked how you were feeling, you sniffled and told him you didn’t understand what happened. He told you it wasn’t your fault. Even though he’d been nowhere nearby when it happened, he sure sounded confident.

Kelce chuckled a bit. “I heard you spit blood in her face. That’s pretty wicked, Y/N. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

These two were more Rafe’s friends than your own, but you still saw them a decent amount. Enough that you had infiltrated their little trio—but you weren’t ’one of the guys’. You found girls who went out of their way to act like that annoying. You got along fine with each of them, but they weren’t the type of friends you’d hang out with without Rafe around.

Speaking of Rafe, he’d been pretty quiet since he arrived. It was the kind of quiet he got when he was agitated, but hadn’t quite reached that tipping point for today.

Just when you thought he’d be some kind of mute the rest of lunch, he made a sort of scoffing noise after Kelce’s comment.

“Well, then you don’t know her,” Rafe replied over the brim of his glass before taking a drink.

You shot him a glare. God, he was petty.

You looked at Topper and Kelce and forced a giggle. A really girly one for extra measure.

“Someone’s grumpy today,” you said in a loud whisper. The two guys smirked to themselves when you dramatically turned to Rafe. “What’s wrong? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” You faked a pout when you really wanted to grin. “Any weird dreams?”

Rafe faced you. He remembered your comment. One of your favorite pastimes was screwing with him just because you could.

“I slept just fine,” Rafe answered smoothly. He tilted his head a little. You narrowed your eyes. There was a look of mischief in his. “What about you?”

You nearly jumped when his hand landed on your bare thigh. The seats at the table were close enough he didn’t have to noticeably shift to make contact. Rafe raised his brows, letting his fingers kneed into your supple skin. Maybe you should’ve worn pants.

You bit your lip before turning it to a smile. “Same here.”

“Nothing keeping you up at night?” Rafe wondered less than innocently.

You shook your head. “Nope.”

He hummed. His hand slid further up your leg. “Nothing worth thinking about?”

So badly you wanted to say something snarky like, “just because you went home and got off to the thought of me doesn’t mean I returned the favor,” but that seemed like a bit much with Topper and Kelce right across the table. They didn’t get to know how clever you could be.

Speaking of the other boys, you had almost forgotten about them during your stare-down with Rafe.

“Are you guys going to the kegger at the Boneyard tonight?” Topper wondered, breaking the tension you and Rafe had created.

Rafe looked away first. “It’s gonna be overrun with Pogues,” he dismissed.

Just because of that you said, “I’m going.” Rafe threw you a glance. “What? The Boneyard is like… middle ground. There’s peace and there’s free alcohol.”

The second part was true, but the first? It depended on the night and what drama was currently going on. Some nights everyone just hung out and got drunk and had fun, and other nights there were fights that broke out. It was really just a toss of the coin.

“If you don’t go I won’t have a ride,” you told Rafe, but before he could open his mouth, you cheerfully turned to Topper. “If you’re going do you think you could give me a ride? This morning was fun, we could keep the karoke going.”

Topper blushed a little while you beamed at him. You’d gotten him to sing along to some pop songs that played on the radio—not exactly ‘karaoke’ but it had the intended effect.

No sooner than you asked was Rafe saying, “I’m going.” There was a bite to his tone that had Topper looking a little lost. Rafe’s fingertips pressed into your skin. “I didn’t say I wasn’t. I’ll give you a ride, it’s no problem.”

It was a problem, that was the point.

“Hello, gentlemen!” A waitress appeared with a big smile and too much pep in her step. You gave her a look that had her swallowing. “And lady. What can I get for you all?”

Rafe flashed her that stupid charming smile of his. The one he gave when he wanted something.

You wanted to gag when he started flirting with her, but you kept it in. It was embarrassing, honestly, for him. You wanted to smack him and tell him to stop making a fool of himself, and then you wanted to do the same to the waitress when she let out a snorty little laugh. Whatever he said wasn’t that funny, and laughing wasn’t going to get her a bigger tip.

While he was flirting and you were seething, Rafe’s hand stayed on your thigh. He rubbed little circles with his thumb and it told you where his mind really was.

When the waitress disappeared, you unclenched your jaw, which you hadn’t realized you’d done, but you didn’t speak right away. Rafe started a conversation with the guys and all you did for now was listen.

Rafe slid his hand further up, talking to them as if his fingers weren’t creeping towards your center. A thrill shot through you at the idea because all this with Rafe was new territory. The warmth in your face and your core told you to let him continue just to see what would happen—then your ego, your desire to win, took over.

You crossed your legs, trapping his hand. Sure, he couldn’t pull it away, but he also couldn’t move it closer. You chewed the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing when Rafe’s voice faltered while talking.

“You good?” you asked casually, as if you’d been up to nothing but listening.

Rafe recovered quickly. He flexed his hand a little and you squeezed it between your thighs. If he really wanted to he could probably yank himself free, but he didn’t try. He also couldn’t get any closer towards his goal. He let you have your minor win, which in all honesty it wasn’t that much of a loss to him so he could live with it, but at least you had some bit of control again.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked. You shrugged, and then he went on talking again.

When the waitress returned he hardly acknowledged her, which she looked a little miffed by, but he couldn't be bothered to care about her.

This was more of a draw when it came down to it, but you could live with that—for now.

You wore your lucky pink bikini with a pair of jeans shorts over it for the kegger.

True to his word Rafe picked you up and the two of you rode together to the Boneyard. Conversation was light, both of you playing defense, not wanting to show your hand. For as much as he was eyeing you he didn’t make a move. The topics were unimportant, so much so you had already forgotten what you’d said by the time you got to the beach.

As you walked towards the shore with Rafe at your side, you admitted to yourself you didn’t exactly have a game plan. You were determined to win this little feud, but how to do that? You didn’t have that worked out. You were still bitter about the fact he hadn’t defended you, and now the whole thing with the waitress was sitting on top of that. You had to get him back and get him good—something that would make him never forget who had the power between the two of you.

And if it scared him enough to make him never flirt with another girl again? Well, you wouldn’t be opposed to hearing him out if he had any ideas for alternatives.

You could see yourself being with Rafe. You really could. Not the way that most girls could, not just because he was handsome, and rich, and charming if he put in the effort. All those things were definitely a plus, but they didn’t understand him the way you did, and he’d never bother to understand them the way he understood you.

Even if your whole night was dedicated to winning against him, when it came down to it, you were equals. That’s what made him such a challenge, and the challenge is what made him so exciting. It was why you could drive each other to the brink of insanity one night and then hang out and laugh together the next.

The thought of a truce entered your mind. Rafe’s arm kept brushing against yours as the two of you joined the party. He looked good in the shirt he’d picked out, and you noticed he was wearing the cologne you liked. He’d been at your house right on time and had gotten out to open the passenger side door for you.

“Rafe?” you said, but evidently not loud enough.

Before you could continue he said, “I’ll be back,” and disappeared off towards the keg without a further word. Not even a glance back.

You shut your mouth and frowned. Would he even be back? You let out a huff.

It didn’t matter, you weren’t going to stand around waiting for him. You couldn’t let him think that was something he could just do. Make you wait around for him. What a dick. You felt like an idiot for even letting the word ‘truce’ enter your mind.

You looked around a little aimlessly. You weren’t about to go join Rafe and your other friends—you weren’t some follower. Your eyes wandered the scattered crowds until they landed on someone that brought a grin to your face.

Go big or go home.

He was standing practically by himself at the least populated keg. You smiled to yourself as you watched the blond fill his red solo cup with beer, chug it, then immediately refill it without so much as setting down the hose.

“Hey,” you said once you’d reached speaking distance. “Don’t you usually have a group of friends you hang with? They didn’t abandon you, did they?”

JJ looked a little surprised at your presence, but when your words registered he chuckled.

“If you wanna get technical then I abandoned them,” he replied coolly.

He nodded his head towards the water and sure enough, John B and Pope were standing in a group talking. No sign of your sort of ex friend, Kiara. You weren’t besties with her the way she and Sarah had been, but you also didn’t turn around and hate on her the way Sarah had. Things had always been a little off with you and the oldest Cameron girl ever since you and Rafe became the duo that you were, so her opinion wasn’t all that defining to you the way it was to others, so Kie wasn’t so bad in your books, but you weren’t still hanging with her either. You hardly thought of her at all to tell the truth.

“What about you?” JJ raised a brow.

“All alone tonight I guess.” You sighed. JJ didn’t say anything for a moment, regarding you. You cast your eyes down to his leg and gasped. “That looks awful! Are you okay?”

There was a huge scrape on his knee with some bruising around it. You knew exactly what, well who had caused it.

JJ didn’t need to know you were in the passenger seat, or that you hadn’t given him a second thought until now.

You looked at his right arm. Gently you reached out to grab it, avoiding the freshly damaged skin. He looked taken aback, likely not expecting the softness or concern from you.

“JJ…” you continued sympathetically, tenderly brushing over the area next to the injury. “What happened?”

His cup crinkled in his fist as his body tensed. He pulled his arm from your grasp and you frowned at him. He took a sip from his drink, watching you over the rim of his cup.

He lowered it after a long drink. “Got ran off the road by that asshole you hang out with,” he finally replied, casting his eyes away.

You shook your head shamefully. “Rafe is an asshole,” you said. There was nothing disingenuous about those words at least.

JJ wasn’t sure whether to frown or laugh.

“Have you and I ever had a full conversation before?”

You smiled at the way he vocalized the first thought that came to his brain. You shook your head.

“Not a full one I don’t think. Definitely not one on one.” You paused. “We could change that, though.”

JJ’s demeanor shifted, relaxing a bit. As if it were some kind of test, he refilled his solo cup to the brim, then extended it out to you.

You weren’t one to fail a test. You accepted it with a smile and took a gulp. JJ was grinning by the time you finished with a noise of satisfaction.

“Alright, maybe I didn’t have you figured out after all,” JJ decided, raising his hands in a little surrender like you’d caught him.

“Guess not,” you agreed.

You found yourself sitting across from him right in the sand. It hadn’t bothered him so you didn’t let it seem like it bothered you. It was easier said than done with the little grains digging in and you knew they’d be stuck to you all night, but you weren’t going to start seeming like the kind of girl who complained.

JJ was fun and carefree, so you were fun and carefree. You tapped into that side of yourself and amplified it. You tried to keep some reality in whatever performance you were putting on.

“You shouldn’t itch that,” you warned. JJ had scratched at the scab on his forearm yet again. “It’ll scar worse if you irritate it.”

“I know how scars work, thanks, doc.” It was sarcastic but it wasn’t mean, which threw you off. “It’s just annoying.” He extended his leg and looked down at it. “And definitely fucked for a few weeks. Looks worse than it is, though.”

“It’s not so bad,” you offered. “And if you don’t scratch I’m sure it’ll heal just fine.” A playful smirk wandered onto your lips. “But I think it makes you look kinda tough, y’know?”

“Tough, huh?”

“I mean, not that you need it or anything.” The shy laugh that left you sounded so natural. God, you were good. “Sorry, that was weird. I just—it’ll heal, but until it does, don't worry about how it looks, is what I’m trying to say.”

“I wasn’t, but thanks.” JJ was smiling, clearly relishing in his perceived victory of managing to fluster you in so few words. “I don’t get how a sweet girl like you can hang out with a guy like Rafe.”

If only he knew.

You swallowed and shrugged. You turned your eyes down. “I don’t know either, sometimes.”

“Hey, I’m sorry,” JJ said. He moved then. You heard him. By the time you looked up, the blond was sitting by your side. He gave you a lopsided smile. “That’s nothing against you, it’s just…”

“Rafe’s an asshole?” you supplied. “We already established that, remember?” You let your voice waver just enough that JJ felt a little guilty, but also have enough humor that he knew he could fix it.

“You’re a great girl, and I’m guessing you know how I feel about Kooks. So I’m I’m not saying that lightly, alright?” JJ began playfully. You met his eyes and smiled softly. “Why do you put up with him?”

He wanted to save you. How funny.

“I… I don’t want to talk about Rafe. I wanna keep talking about you. What have you been up to this summer?”

That got him talking again. It was easier that way. You could just react; smile, nod along, make little noises or mutter a few words.

He was in the middle of yet another surfing story from the other week when you put your head on his shoulder. JJ didn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you.

If Rafe could see you now.

It’s not that you cared where he was, or what he was doing, or who he was doing it with, but you knew he’d care what you were up to. He’d care when he found out only after the fact where you were directing your night with JJ, one of the good for nothing Pogues that he loathed.

What would he say when he found out you invited JJ Maybank into your bed when all he got was a hand on your thigh for a few minutes under a table? That would show him.

Actually, more than that, it would drive him crazy. Letting you know he wanted you, and then continuing to play games was probably the stupidest thing Rafe Cameron could’ve ever done. If it was a game you were going to win.

Who cared if it sent him over the edge? You sure didn’t.

A gust of ocean air came at the right time. You shivered dramatically and JJ frowned at you, pausing mid sentence to ask if you had a jacket. He didn’t have one to offer. That worked out just fine for you because you had an offer of your own. One you were certain he wasn’t going to turn down.

“Actually, would you mind giving me a ride back to my place? My friend kind of ditched me,” you asked politely. JJ, ever the gentleman, masked his disappointment and agreed. He got to his feet and offered a hand. “And if you want, you could stay and, I don’t know, hang out…”

JJ brows rose. “Hang out?” he parroted back to you.

You bit your lip and nodded. “Yeah. Hang out.” You brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. A grin spread across his face. “That cool with you?”

“Lead the way,” he encouraged, energy quickly returning.

You reached for his hand and he let you take it.

“You’re driving, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll lead the way.”

You laughed with him, giving his hand a little squeeze.

To be fair, JJ was very attractive. And he was not so bad to talk to. He didn’t even give you shit for being a Kook, which you had expected he would. He’d only commented on your friendship with Rafe but you’d played into that well. You’d enjoyed yourself with him. On another occasion if he had approached you, you’d probably indulge him at least for a while. Maybe even sleep with him like you were planning to now. You’d heard the rumors about him and so you were pretty confident you’d have fun.

Although, the real fun would start after, when you got to throw it in Rafe’s face and watch him lose it.

There was only one problem with your plan. Rafe spotted you before you could leave.

“Y/N!” Rafe called. You turned and so did JJ. JJ clutched your hand tighter as Rafe approached. If looks could kill, you and JJ would both be dead. You smirked to yourself. You couldn’t help it. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Back off, Rafe.” JJ was surprised but he still managed to sound threatening. He probably didn’t think Rafe was even here since you’d failed to mention it. “You don’t own her.”

Poor, sweet, dumb, JJ.

Any other disagreement, any other issue, Rafe might’ve gone along with the back and forth for a minute. Not when it came to you.

JJ had no time to dodge before Rafe was slamming his fist into his face. You grit your teeth. Your nose twitched. Now that was a real punch. Rafe quickly followed up with another right to JJ’s stomach.

JJ fell to the ground with a grunt. You managed to drop his hand just in time. Rafe was on top of JJ in an instant, pummeling him. It was dark, but you could smell blood mixing with the scent of the sea. The sound of Rafe’s fists cracked against JJ’s face told you there’d be bruises.

JJ managed to get out from beneath him, but Rafe wasn’t about to back off. It became an all out brawl. Over you, of all things. Wasn’t that romantic? You giggled to yourself when you had to step back because JJ threw Rafe off of him. You watched with shallow, excited breaths when Rafe got back to his feet and charged.

“Hey!” someone screamed from a distance. You didn’t recognize the voice, but when you turned your head, you saw a group of partygoers approaching. “Knock it off!”

You rolled your eyes. You cleared your throat. The group was getting closer so you let loose.

“Guys! Stop it, please!” you shrieked, as if you had been begging this entire time. “Stop!”

A hand landed on your shoulder.

“Stand back, Y/N,” Topper said, blocking you with his body.

“They won’t stop,” you cried pathetically. “Someone is going to get seriously hurt!”

Topper registered your concern and then took it upon himself to intervene. John B joined him. He’d come out of nowhere. The group that had gathered around the fight had grown within seconds. Some were yelling at them to quit while others clapped and shouted encouragement.

John B pried JJ away and Topper got ahold of Rafe. JJ tried to run back at Rafe but then Pope got in front of him. You didn’t hear what he said to the blond but JJ backed down. He looked at you, still restrained by his friends after fighting for your honor. You spotted a black eye forming and a busted lip. It was pretty hot.

“Rafe, man—“

“Get your hands off me,” Rafe snapped at Topper like something feral. He got your attention without even asking. You met his gaze and he looked… well, crazy. You don’t think that would come until later. “Y/N,” he muttered your name as he approached you. “We’re leaving.”

Rafe didn’t wait for you to respond. His hand snapped out, gripping your bicep and dragging you along behind him.

You nearly stumbled over your feet from the force. Behind you there were protests, and Topper even began to follow, so you had no choice.

“It’s fine,” you called back to him. “I’m going with him.” You were sure JJ heard and for the first time in a long, long while you felt a small twinge of guilt.

It didn’t last long when Rafe shoved you against the side of his truck. He ripped open the passenger side door. The wild look in his eyes almost scared you. Almost.

“Get in.”

You obeyed. He hardly left you time to scramble in before he was slamming the door shut behind you. You watched Rafe as if he were some kind of predator, analyzing his movements as he stalked to the driver’s side and climbed in next to you.

You weren’t going to be the first one to speak. Rafe was speeding like there was no such thing as a limit. The only move you made was to buckle your seatbelt. It took a long few minutes before Rafe finally spoke.

“I told you I’d be back,” he finally grit out.

“You didn’t notice I was gone until I was leaving,” you shot back.

Rafe’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.

“I was looking for you.”

“Bullshit,” you snapped. “You didn’t give a damn where I was until I was leaving with JJ—“

Rafe slammed on the break. Your whole body jolted. The seat belt tightened against you and your head hit the head rest. Before you could scream at him your vision cleared and you realized you were in front of your house.

“Don’t say his name.” The way Rafe said it made him seem dangerous.

You looked at him, eyes wide, gauging what to do next. This was the most terrified you had ever been of him, and yet…

“Your cheek is cut,” you pointed out, voice as steady as you could make it. JJ wore rings. You bet it hurt. “Come in and let me clean it.”

You didn’t leave room for debate. You and Rafe watched one another with caution, regarding the other as a threat.

In a way you were both right.

You got out of the truck first. You made it to your door, knowing Rafe was right behind you.

You went through the motions almost robotically as you took him into the bathroom. You turned on the light and made him sit on the edge of the tub. The first aid kit was in the cabinet and you found everything you needed right inside.

For knowing you had caused all of this, you weren’t exactly sure what to do now. Which was odd, because you always seemed to figure out the next step one way or another, but right now, cleaning Rafe’s cheek with an alcohol wipe, watching his jaw tense with the stinging pain, you were unsure how to proceed.

What do you do when you get your way, or at least you think you got your way, but not in the way you had planned?

Rafe swatted your hand away when you tried to open a bandaid.

“Don’t put that thing on me, it’s fine,” Rafe protested. He placed his hands on your hips. You thought he was going to push you back, but he just sort of held you in place.

“Don’t be a baby.”

Rafe ignored you. He dropped his forehead to your stomach. It was almost as if you were an altar for him to worship at. You ran a hand through his hair, finding the sight to be nothing short of beautiful. You couldn’t help yourself.

He muttered something that sounded like, “Why do you do this to me?” You didn’t answer. He took a breath. “Were you gonna fuck him?” Rafe asked. You were sure of his words this time.

You could lie, you thought, but then decided against it. There was no point now.

Rafe tilted his head up, blue eyes searching yours. There was a sense of longing in them that you noticed every once in a while. That sad little need for approval that he couldn’t get rid of.

“Yeah, probably,” you admitted.

Fire ignited in his eyes.

Just as quickly as he became weak to you, Rafe snapped out of it. He was on his feet in seconds. He towered over you, backing you up with each step until you hit the edge of your counter.

Rafe looked down his nose at you. “Were you gonna fuck him?” he asked again, as if intimidation would change your answer.

You stared up at him, defiant. “Yeah,” you repeated, hopping up to sit on the counter. “Probably.”

Rafe’s bruised hand reached up to cup your face. He watched his thumb as it ran over your lips. When it rested on your bottom lip you opened your mouth. Rafe was transfixed as he slid the digit in. Your mouth enveloped him, swirling your tongue around his thumb. You swore you could taste a little blood.

Rafe made a noise of satisfaction and quickly removed it, covering your lips with his own, filling your mouth with his tongue instead. You moaned into the kiss. It was harsh and hungry. Everything that had been building up over the past day, hell, past years, was finally spilling out. The dam had finally broken. There was no turning back.

“You make me crazy,” he grunted against your lips when he came up for air. You panted, words failing to form as his hand slid between your bodies. “And I know I make you crazy.” His fingers slipped into your shorts and bikini bottom, which you hadn’t even gotten to show off. You hadn’t needed to. You gasped as he pressed a finger into your core. He grinned at the wetness that had already formed. “I know it ‘cause I know you.”

Rafe pressed a kiss to your lips, then your cheek, then your ear.

“Rafe,” you whispered his name, bucking against his hand. He rewarded you with pushing another finger in and thrusting them both with precision.

“I’m the only one that knows you,” he hissed. You shivered as his breath hit your ear, noting the anger. But there was something else to it. “I’m the only one who gets to have you.”

Desperation.

Rafe was desperate for you. For you to understand, for you to agree, for you to feel the same. Desperate for you to want him the way he wanted you.

“Tell me you weren’t,” he pleaded, voice shaking with the rage he was trying to contain.

He wanted you to lie.

“I wasn’t.” Rafe hummed and pressed an approving kiss to your neck. He twisted his fingers inside you, forcing a moan past your lips. His teeth sank into the skin of your neck, sucking and biting as you managed to gasp out, “I wasn’t, I swear.”

Rafe pulled his fingers from you and you whined at the loss. He made up for it by kissing his way back to your lips, swallowing your sounds. He popped the button off your shorts and tucked his hands into the waistband. You lifted yourself long enough for him to yank down your shorts, leaving you bare.

You wrapped your arms over his shoulders and kissed him harder when his hands gripped your waist and pulled you to the edge of the counter. Your teeth sank into his bottom lip, drawing an animalistic sound from him.

“Tell me you want me,” Rafe managed.

You pulled back, eyes flicking from his swollen lips to his hungry eyes. The corner of your lip quirked up a little.

“I thought it was obvious,” you mused, reaching between your bodies.

“I’m gonna fuck you either way, so you might as well just tell me.” There was a devious glint in Rafe’s eyes that sent a jolt of excitement through you.

You pulled your lip between your teeth and you undid his belt. You reached into his pants and found his cock hard and waiting for your touch. Rafe’s hands tightened on your thighs. “I want you, Rafe,” you said exactly what he wanted to hear, voice heavy with lust, every word the truth.

Rafe surged forward, capturing your lips. He shoved his pants down as you stroked him, but he had plans of his own. Rafe pushed himself closer to you, spreading your legs apart with his hips, and gripped his cock. The head pressed at your entrance and you nearly choked when he thrust in with no further warning.

“Fuck, Rafe,” you cursed. Your hands found his back, holding on as he invaded your body.

Thick and long, his cock split you open. Rafe grunted, mouth moving over you in a frenzy, kissing wherever he could reach in that second. Your top came off somewhere in the haze and you moaned as his mouth latched onto your breast. Your legs wrapped around his waist as your cunt squeezed him. Rafe’s hands found your waist again, holding you in place as he began to move.

He gave you little time to adjust but you would’ve gone crazy if he waited any longer. Rafe pulled back, letting you feel the thick drag of his cock leaving you, before he thrust in again. And again. And again. All you could do was hold on as he slammed into you, letting everything that had built up go. You welcomed it. All his anger and lust and frustration and love and just everything. Everything said and unsaid between the two of you was finally getting a resolution.

Rafe’s mouth found its way back to your neck, licking and sucking and biting your flesh. He was marking it, marking you, for the world to see. So when they saw the purple marks decorating your neck, everyone would know you belonged to him. But didn’t they know already? To some degree?

It didn’t matter to Rafe. He was making it clear. There was no room for doubt now.

Rafe fucked you like it was the last thing he’d ever do, like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. Your moans filled the room, your curses and his grunts of your name, the sound of skin against skin, the smell of sex—all of it flooded your senses in the most thrilling way. You wanted nothing more than Rafe and nothing less than everything he was giving you.

The pleasure he inflicted was like nothing you had ever experienced and you knew in that moment nothing and no one would ever compare to the high you felt with him.

He pounded into you hard, sending jolts of electricity through your entire body. Your thighs clenched around his waist, your legs holding him against you. Rafe filled you entirely, drawing out every animalistic need you had.

“Fuck,” he cursed, lifting his head. You moaned at just the sound of his voice. “You’re so tight. Like you’re made for me.”

Your cunt clenched around him, eyes fluttering shut as your slick walls squeezed him. Your body tensed and your breaths grew even more ragged as he pushed you closer and closer towards your edge.

“Rafe, don’t stop,” you gasped out.

His hand found your throat. Your eyes snapped open as he gave it a squeeze. He forced you to meet his gaze. You nearly fell apart just from that.

“It’s always been me, hasn’t it?” he asked, wanting an answer. You nodded because yes, yes it has. “It’s always going to be only you and only me. Only me.” You nodded again, lips only parting to let out a moan when he gave a sharp thrust. “Tell me.”

“You, Rafe,” you fumbled out. “It’s always been you—it's only you,” you said in almost a plea. “I want us.”

That was exactly what he wanted to hear. Rafe gave a sound of approval and a light squeeze of your neck. His thrusts stayed sharp and precise and soon enough you were falling apart in his hold.

His cock shoving into you, his hand on your neck, the look on his face—you were consumed by Rafe and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

You let out a cry of his name when your orgasm hit. It crashed over you in a wave, rocking your entire body. Your legs and cunt both tightened, holding him impossibly close inside you. Rafe’s lips devoured yours, smothering your moans and whimpers as you shook against him.

Rafe gave a few more rough, constricted thrusts before a deep groan escaped his lips. His hips stilled and warmth flooded your insides. He shivered against you when you slid your hands beneath his shirt and dragged your nails along his back.

His hand finally left the front of your neck, but it didn’t go far as he slid his palm to cup the back of it. Rafe pressed his forehead to yours, both of you catching your breath.

You took one hand and reached for him, running your fingers over the cut on his cheek.

“I still think you should put a bandaid on it,” you managed, voice weak.

Rafe chuckled, shaking his head as he pulled away. And just like that you two were all good again.

“I think I’ll pass.”

You smiled and rolled your eyes. “You’re so stubborn.”

“Takes one to know one. Took you this long to admit you wanted me.”

You gawked at that. “I admitted I wanted you? Seems like it was the other way around. In fact—“

But before you could finish, Rafe silenced you with a deep kiss. His cock twitched inside of you and you couldn’t help but giggle against his lips.

Rafe was only kissing you to shut you up because you were right, and he knew it too. You were always right and Rafe was going to have to learn to accept that one way or another.

[sweetbans29]

Friendship Bracelets - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: After getting out of a 2-year relationship, your friends encourage you to get back in the game by putting your phone number on some friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert. You decided to make just one and that one ended up on the one and only Caitlin Clark.

Warnings: Swifties lol, this is like a major cliche but I do not care I am also going to change the order of the setlist to make this fic work better please don't come after me, cheating (not involving Caitlin)

Word Count: 2.3k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: This is nothing other than a figment of my imagination.

2 years. 2 years down the drain. 2 years you gave to this guy only to be left heartbroken and angry.

It had been two weeks since you found out your long-term boyfriend had been cheating on you. Something was off with the two of you for a few months before you found out but when you did it all clicked. That was no excuse for what he did, it honestly only made you hate yourself for not ending it when things started to change.

When you found out, you left quietly.

He was expecting you to lash out and make a scene. He expected you to break things and hit him and show all signs of what he did had an effect on you, at least any sign that you were affected. You gave him none of that.

When you found out - you packed up your things while he was at work and left without as much as a note. He tried calling and texting you for the better part of a week before you finally decided to meet with him.

The two of you sat down at a local diner. You barely looked at him as he tried to come up with any sort of excuse. It was miserable. when you were done sitting there watching him struggle, you finally spoke.

"I don't want to hear any of it. All I want is an apology and I will be going my own way. That is the least you can do for throwing away the last five years," you say making direct eye contact with him now.

He sits there, speechless. He tries to find words and you sit there watching him try to form an apology. Before he can form any coherent response, you get up and walk out not wanting to give the man in front of you any more time.

The next week was a rough one for you. You were incredibly thankful that you have a solid group of friends who have been nothing but supportive. They watched over you like a hawk, making sure you were always with someone and were kept busy.

That leads you to sitting at your friend's kitchen table, listening to Tayor Swift, snacking on some Chick-fil-A all while making friendship bracelets for the concert you guys will be going to in a few days.

You are focused on getting the beads threaded on the string in front of you when your friend hits your elbow causing you to spill all the beads you just put on.

"Cas! I was just about to finish this one," you say frustrated as you are on bracelet 20. Your friends told you you had to make 50 before you could even think about leaving the table. You gather the beads you were just using and begin to start making it again.

"I'm sorry!" She says as she grabs a nugget. One of your other friends chimes in after looking at your pile of bracelets.

"You know, it might not be the worst idea to put your number on some of those bracelets." She says as if you didn't just get out of a long-term relationship. You just give her a look.

"This could be good!" Another one of your friends yells as she points at you. "You will be in a stadium full of girls, singing their heart out to Taylor Swift - it has been a minute since you've been on the fun side." She says referring to your last relationship being Jacob, before him, you were dating a girl and were so much freer.

"Guys, it has literally been 2 weeks. It hasn't even been a month since I have been single. Let a girl heal," you say getting annoyed at your friends.

"Come on, it doesn't have to be serious. This could be a good distraction for you!" One friend says. Another pitches in, "Ya! That's actually a good idea, just something fun, a little distraction!"

"I am not going to put my number on a beaded bracelet," you say. "That seems desperate and I am not desperate, I am healing," You whisper the last part.

"Come on, just a few." You are now being passed the number beads. You make no move to grab them.

You know your friends mean well but this was a little much. They were lucky you were even going - the thought of going to a TSwift concert right after a breakup is daunting.

"No." Is all you say.

"Yes, you are going to make a few, you don't have to give them out if you don't want but if you make them then at least you have the option." One of your friends says.

"Fine, I will make ONE that has my number," you say so they would all shut up. "But I have no plans of handing it out."

The rest of the night is spent finishing up the bracelets. You made so many bracelets, you felt like your fingers were going to fall off.

The day of the concert is pure chaos. Your friends wanted to get there like 10 hours early to get in line for merch and make sure you have plenty of time to take photos. You follow along with your friends, letting them do whatever they want before the concert starts. YOu are a Taylor fan, but not nearly as much as they are.

Once you all make your way to your seats you are on the end of your group of friends. The group of girls next to you is already sitting. You take a seat next to a girl in a light sage dress. You say a quick hello as you get yourself situated.

Part of your group decides to go grab drinks and snacks while you opt to stay and watch over everyone's stuff. You tell them to grab you a drink and whatever looks good.

You sit there looking around at all the girls wearing their Taylor themes outfits and getting to have the time of their lives. Meanwhile, you are just trying to survive the night.

"Hey, I dropped my chapstick, would you mind grabbing it?" The girl next to you says.

"Ya, no problem," you say and lean down and grab the little stick that made its way under your legs. You pass it to the girl next to you who you notice is now alone. "You're friends also head to get snacks?"

"Restroom," she says with a little laugh. "Yours go to get snacks?"

You nodd also letting out a little laugh. "Can't leave the stuff alone."

You introduce yourself as you are about to be screaming song lyrics right next to this girl all night.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Caitlin," she says.

The two of you enter into some small talk and learn you both attend the same school. It is big enough that it doesn't surprise you that you haven't seen each other before. What once started as small talk, turns into talking life. She tells you how there are some big decisions that she is going to have to make coming up - she keeps it pretty vague but mentions it has to do with her career. You mention your recent breakup and how you the guy cheated. Her hand comes to yours as she apologizes that you had to go through that. You give her a small smile and tell her it was for the better.

She sat there listening to the most beautiful girl in the world talk about how someone treated you like trash. All she wanted to do was hold you and show you what love really is. It seems cliche that she is having all these thoughts at concert with a girl she just met but they way you talked about life had her thinking anything is possible.

The conversation continues as you talk about growing up and how you both chose to go to Iowa for school. You learn she plays basketball and you tell her you dance. She slides the comment of how you should come to one of her games. Of course, you say yes, not thinking anything of it.

Both of your groups of friends get back around the same time and you both turn back to conversations with them.

When the concert starts you get mesmerized by the performance. Everyone is standing and singing along to all of the songs.

The first time you cry is when Taylor sings The Archer. You try to hide it to the best of your ability. Your friends are too into the concert to notice which you are thankful for but as your arms wrap around yourself to provide any sort of comfort, you feel a hand come up and give your arm a little squeeze. You look over to see Caitlin's hand on your arm, rubbing it with her thumb. The part of you that once felt so empty, is now a little fuller.

Neither of you say anything about the little moment. You both just continue to enjoy the concert.

It is during Cruel Summer that you are back screaming at the top of your lungs. When Taylor gets to the bridge you grab Caitlin's hand and use it as a microphone, pretending you are on stage. She just laughs at you and takes in the sight of you living your best life. At the end of the song you pull her in so you can say something.

"I would apologize but I am not sorry at all," you say with a laugh. She leans over to your ear.

"Please never even think about apologizing for that," is what she says with a little wink. You just look at her and shake your head with a smile.

The night continues with you singing with your friends, both the ones you came with and the new ones you met at the concert.

The next time you cry is during Tolerate It, your friend that you came with brings you into her side and just holds you. While she is holding you, you feel a hand come and take yours, intertwining your fingers and giving your hand a squeeze while rubbing her thumb against your skin.

You don't know what it is about the girl but her comfort is one that you haven't felt in a while. It is peaceful, not forced. She brings a calmness to you and you haven't known her for more than 2 hours. Anyone else would be mortified with your sea of emotions - going from screaming at the top of your lungs to sobbing about your cheating ex-boyfriend but not her. She has embraced it all and continues to embrace it.

It is during You Belong With Me that you notice she is looking at you more than usual. You decide to sing it with her and turn to her during one of the verses. By the time the chorus comes around, she is singing it right to you. You sing along trying to not let the words of the song cut too deep.

She is the one to grab your hand during this song and belt out the words to the bridge. You just watch her in awe, seeing her let loose for what you feel like the first time this evening.

At the end of the song, you put your hand on her shoulder to help steady yourself as you reach up to whisper in her ear, "That was adorable, carefree looks good on you."

She leans back down to you, "You make it easy."

The rest of the night is filled with singing your heart out and making little comments here and there to the girl next to you.

One of Taylor's final songs is one that you have been waiting to hear all night, Enchanted. She does a beautiful acoustic version that has you whispering it along with her. You don't know when it happens but Caitlin takes hold of your arm and turns you to face her. Caitlin is now singing with you (to you). You can't take your eyes off of hers as her hand doesn't leave you. Caitlin, in nothing above a whisper, is singing the bridge of the song hoping that you know she is not just singing the song but means every word.

"Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you." She sings looking right into your eyes.

Who in the world would have imagined this, a beautiful girl singing Taylor songs to you at a Taylor concert. Picking up the pieces of your heart all while only knowing you for less than a day.

When the song comes to an end, you don't know what overcomes you but you bring your hand up to her cheek and just stroke her cheek with your thumb. You then bend down and grab your bag, looking for something that you buried it in before the concert.

You find what you are looking for and give it one look before grabbing Caitlin's wrist and putting the bracelet on her. She gives you a slightly confused look, not understanding why you pulled the bracelet out of the bag and didn't take it off your wrist like you had with all the other girls around you.

You give a nod down for her to look at it and she does. When she sees the bracelet you gave her contains 10 digits on it, she instantly smiles.

The concert comes to an end and everyone begins clearing the stadium. You say goodbye to your new friends, making sure Caitlin is the last of them.

When saying bye, you bring her into a hug.

"I am not ready to jump into anything, but you are truly incredible and I would love to get to know you more. I only made one of those bracelets and wasn't planning on handing it out but you are something special." You say and begin to release her. She doesn't let go of you but rather squeezes you tighter.

"You are worth waiting for," she says, and your heart rate increases. "I will take it as slow as you need.'"

She releases you and you just smile at her.

This night marks a new beginning, one that you can't want to dive into.

AN: Yes, there will eventually be a part two. No, I do not know when. But I promise it will come. Let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for the love and support 🤍

[sunnyie-eve]

14 | Not Leaving

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

~

"20 minutes ago I got a DM from the clown." Chris looks at his phone.

"Really?" Matt asks surprised Tanner was still bugging Chris.

"He was giving shit."

"He's still going?" Matt asks.

"Who?" Nick asks lost for a second.

"Dani's ex friend's ex boyfriend." Chris tells him, "He saw the clip from our last-,"

Matt cuts in, "He saw Chris call him ugly."

"He was like it's funny you called me ugly when you look like that." Chris tells the two, "And I only said he was ugly to get Dani to like me."

"He's delusional." Nick's eyes widen.

"I know." Chris agrees.

"I still get some from her as well." Matt speaks up.

"I don't know who has it worse. You get a loser and I get an asshole. Nick is lucky." Chris eats his apple.

"Take some." Matt tells Nick.

"Like you're Dani's best friend so why do we get all the messages?" Chris adds.

"Well for one he hates you and she likes you so..." Nick looks at the two.

"I'm not for violence but the way she talks about Dani..." Matt starts to get pissed a tad bit thinking about the messages.

"I've daydreamed about hitting his punk ass." Chris adds swinging his arms around.

"I do need to jump in because I can get them to shut up." Nick agrees, "They're insane."

"He stalks all of us online." Chris says before Matt changes the topic slightly.

"I wanna talk about Dani staying with us and how some people are reacting." Matt tells the two, "Like I know it's not everyone. It's the same people who have a problem with Madi. We're allowed to have close friends that are girls. People just-,"

"Like who are you?" Nick throws out there.

"Just get over it please." Matt adds, "Madi is like our sister and Dani is our new roommate we're getting close to. The two of them message each other so much which I love. I can see them becoming best friends as well. They already act like it."

"Madi said that too." Chris speaks up.

"Dani said talking to her is like talking to a sister she doesn't have."

"I just wanna tell people, Dani isn't leaving." Chris makes clear for viewers.

"We literally mad a closet by the front door into a room. We had people come in and work on the house to construct a whole room for her." Matt explains.

"Like the whole under part of the living room is a room now. The only sad part is she's gotta share a bathroom with Matt." Nick laughs.

"Yeah." Chris laughs as well.

"Hey, we created a whole system for our bathroom so shut up. At least ours will be the cleanest as well." Matt points his fingers at them.

Once they were done with the podcast they find Dani was no where to be seen in the house so they figure out she left for a bit. Which she did because she had to run to the store for girl stuff and things she just wanted.

"What did you bring home?" Nick watches Dani walk towards the bathroom.

"Stuff for myself."

"What kind of stuff?" Matt watches her take a seat on the toilet to put together a little storage for her stuff.

"Well, a place for my makeup, hair accessories, pain meds, and you know pads and tampons." She smiles at him.

"I was wondering when you would make a place for that kind of stuff." He continues to watch her, "Is it finally that time of month huh?"

"Obviously, Matt." She looks back at what she was doing, "So when I have my moments just leave me alone."

"When's the worst day?"

"Today because day two it's when I have the worst pains." She lets him know.

"Got it, don't push your buttons." He leaves her alone.

When she was finished they boys were doing whatever so Dani uses the living room tv to watch a show but soon Nick and Chris starts yelling playing around.

"Can y'all shut the hell up for one day?" She shouts pausing the tv to go to her room.

"What's her problem?" Chris asks Nick.

"Not a clue."

"She's on her period, guys." Matt walks out of his room.

"Oh, well best I stay out of her way till she's done with it." Chris goes to his room to play games.

"Sorry, Dani!" Nick shouts before going to watch tv on the couch.

Matt goes back to his room getting his keys leaving the house to get some food in hopes to cheer Dani up a bit. Take her mind off her cramps and emotions.

"Nick, where's Matt?" Dani asks after looking he wasn't in his room.

"Went somewhere. Why?"

"I just wanted to let him know I was gonna take a shower so if he comes back while I'm in there let him know." She says going to the bathroom.

"Yeah, okay." He waves his hand paying attention to the tv.

While Dani was in the shower, Nick rushes to his room to use the bathroom since he had to go. Sadly at that moment Matt decided to come home and he had to pee. As he walked towards the bathroom he heard the shower so he speed walks to Chris's room but he was using the bathroom as well.

"Dani, I gotta pee!" He knocks on the door before opening it shielding his eyes so he doesn't see her.

"Okay." She says not really caring.

"You're calm for me being in here."

"Well I trust you so but hurry up because I'm about done." She lets him know so he quickly goes pee.

"I brought you Taco Bell." He lets her know as he washes his hands.

"Just me?" 

"And me too." He laughs drying his hands.

"Can we watch a movie too?" She asks rising her hair.

"Mine or yours?" 

"Mine because the other two won't bug us and complain how you only got us food." She tells him turning off the shower.

"Smart thinking. I also got you a Dr Pepper so I'll be in your room." He leaves so she can get out.

Once she was done she joins Matt in her room jumping onto her bed ready to eat since she's been wanting their tacos, "What movie did you pick?" She asks since he had her remote in his hand.

"Shrek because that's what I'm in the mood for." He hands her the remote so he can get his food out of the bag.

"Be prepared for me to quote this movie." She gets her food out of her bag as well.

After eating they get comfy under the blankets and finish the movie then start the second one next. The plan was to binge watch all of the movies but they ended up failing since they both passed out during the third one.

Being the good friend Nick was he wanted to go check on her since she hadn't felt her room in hours. "Hey Da-," Nick opens the door gently to see the two fast asleep in bed. Matt was slightly sleeping on his stomach while Dani cuddled his back/side that was facing her. "You two worry me." Nick turns off the tv and lights leaving the room.

[the-chessboard-is-personal]

people have hyped this up so much I'm scared (ii s2 post-s3 liveblog)

(/silly)

ahem. hi. post-watch Knight here, with a big tw: there is a suicide mention and intense death wishing at the end of this post. you can guess who it's directed towards but if you've already seen the episodes I don't think you'll get it wrong.

since there's only 3 episodes this one is going to work slightly differently, I'll have Big Text separating each of them and timestamp each different part of the liveblog. there will also be screenshots.

15:

(intro) wait Taco's trying to steal the win without even being a contestant? (4:48) "Don't Mention That Again" I've said it before it just feels like he speaks in capitalized words sometimes

(5:08) song?? THE SONG FUCKING SLAPS???

(8:02) hold on a moment I need to do someth[finds the song in isolation and adds it to the playlist Good Music]

(10:19) taco!! come on, bringing up beef at the show!

(12:48) "yes :)" oh what a bitch /affectionate

(15:49) tbh I agree with Knife here, if everyone respawns anyway, why is murder so bad? (<- building a death game in Minecraft)

(18:01) DAMNN holy shit, to think this isn't even canonically a scripted game, for Taco to say that?! aough

(19:45) HUH?? TACO CRACKED??? oh. OH she- she fucking died from stress- literally. oh shit. I- tbh I...can relate. I did that once. long story and I can't explain it here but.... holy shit.

(22:46) he's on a platform! MePad teleported him onto a platform!

(27:44) MePhone giving the "next time is the finale" speech rneanwhile there's two episode lef- oh shit

- after episode -

well that was a fucking cliffhanger. OH. MY. what!! WHAT!! COBS?? oh yeah also I don't hate Taco anymore. and the outro music slaps sdgkjhf

oh fuck I'm scared, onto the next episode!

16:

(1:00) HOKAY WELP RIGHT INTO ACTION. that was the same MePhone 3 from 4's memories wasn't it? were those other ones MePhone 2s??

(1:39) hough the parallels, I love this episode so far

(2:38) [his literal worst enemy is repeatedly trying to contact him directly] MePhone 4: [treats it like a minor annoyance]

oh also YIPPEE YINYANG IS THERE!!

(4:17) "are you offering?" lmao I wouldn't have even asked-

uhh

..? why is s3 so bad for Suitcase to hear about..?

(5:30) WHy is he HERE??

(7:28) what HEY IS PICKLE GONE FROM THE INTRO

(15:22) OH IT'S THE GUY. OH IT'S THE GUY o h OJ!! oagh but like. imagine that with humans. your friend starts panicking at something you can't hear or see, screams and then sUDDENLY THEIR FUCKING FACE IS GONE. that would be a neat analog horror actually

(18:32) he's just like me. he's just like me for real,, (<- also has trigger words)

(21:30) OH FUCK HE GOT NICKEL TOO

(23:42) wait- first Pickle then OJ, Nickel- no but OJ never got eliminated in s1. hm.

(25:30) wait- doesn't quite know what a frown looks like? d- does that rnean- wait wait nonono that was Cherry that yeeted Marshmallow-

(27:17) wait WAIT THIS HAPPENED WITH CABBY TOO DO NONE OF THEM HAVE PARENTS?? 27:27 no. nonon NO DON'T SAY IT DON'T YOU DARE DON';T YOU FCUKING DARE TELL ME [unpauses] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAKDSGJFK AGDFJKHAT'S WHY FAN GHLITCHEDD ADJKGF JAHLOUIAHF OSJHLKF HLA

- after episode -

OH MY HOUSEMATE WAS RIGH T I'M GONNA BR EA K OHH WHAT THE HELLfuck

hokay. okay. okayokayokaoyuayojoaykokoykaoykaokaoauuauhghhh

I am sane. I am normal. that's how he knows things. I need a break- okay so after like an hour, onto the next ep! wait is this the finale-

17:

(1:39) WHA- oh I misheard Knife as Knight.

(2:10) NO NOT TEST TUBE! (3:50) oh they're all going to-

(5:14) NO DON'T YOU DARE

,..,,.,why them,.., b.. but,theyre my favorites,,.

(11:34) wait they need to get that wire out of MePhone. that would stop MePhone X, right? but he doesn't know that..shit

(13:08) yeaAHHWHAT- oh. oh what

(15:14) let me guess Paintbrush got X'd while Fan was rambling. oh nvm. OH THE OTHER EGG IS PART OF MEPHONE 4?? oh that almost made me cry too- welp there goes lightbulb

(17:47) HUH??????????????? TOILET?????? wh a t .the fuck

(21:17) "cause that was pretty reductive!" oh they addressed it!

(22:48) o h. wh- what the HELL IS COBS'S PROBLEM?? LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM DOES HE NOT THINK MEPHONE4 IS ACTUALLY SENTIENT OR SOMETHING? DOES HE LIKE TORTURING HIM? EVERYONE'S FUCKING DEAD

(25:40) ohh no.. Bow probably can't be X'd anyway, does she really have to do. that. to someone .....sighhh. if Apple's okay with that happening (somehow) I guess it's not as scary. I won't understand the opinion but I don't really need to tbh.

(sorry no more timestamps I watched the whole rest of it speechless)

- after episode -

I- wh-

h-

but- he-

h-

h-

he- but he just- there was no- winner- Cobs- what about MePhone 3GS?? what abou-

h. hold on

hold on I need to. make an editr ealquick. just

relworld cursor editor almost crashed trying to save this

[thevulturesquadron]

THAT LATEST EPISODEEEE

Okay okay I have many thoughts and I apologise if this is gonna end up very incoherent and disjointed but I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE AHHHHH

You know what the episode did very well (the writers, man)? Make the audience feel like they're taking crazy pills. There's this almost cognitive dissonance from the rest of the squad (Charles esp) with the way they say and behave because as Rogue stated "none of you were there". This is SO good in showcasing that you can be as understanding as you want, be literally a part of the same group... and STILL it's not enough because you didn't have the (in this case unfortunate) exact experience. The previous episode is a great addendum to this. The rest of humanity's (majorly the big wigs of course but you get what i mean) scared and at worst callous and apathetic reaction to the genocide. They're not scared because of what happened to those mutants, they're scared because of what Magneto would do in retaliation. Cooper is another example of how much actual experience can wholly change a person. She's not a mutant... but she was THERE. Erik and Rogue were there... right in the middle of it. How does anyone expect SOMETHING to not happen. You know who else saw what happened? Us, the audience. The latest episode felt frustrating and cathartic in the best way. It felt like decades of repressed righteous anger spilling in the most messiest manner, but it's OUT there. It needed to be said. Rogue's rant at the group before joining Erik, Erik's iconic "SHUT UP" line (yo lemme tell you istg i said the EXACT thing after that drivel Charles said). That's another thing that was so well done. Showcasing that no matter how well meaning Charles is... sometimes it feels like the dude's not LISTENING (Erik talks about watching a child be eviscerated in front of his very eyes, and I feel like all he's getting from others is an 'aw im sorry thoughts and prayers now can you please CHILL out') and does need this slap in the face. And the consequences keep piling up (the last big thing being what happened to Logan). Nothing will ever be normal and it's sad and scary and I'm very much looking forward to what comes next.

On a small note, showing how Roberto's decision was unsure with him trying to apologise to Jubilee and then his shocked reaction at her not wanting to hear him was so sad. It truly felt like a boy who only realised how massive of a consequence he's facing but just wanting his friend back.

I'm pretty sure I had more things to say and a more thoughtful way of saying them but anyway... 10/10. VERY ANGERING AND FANTASTIC. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE LAST EP!!!

HI!!! ✨SAME!! 💜💜💜💜 thanks for coming in kicking the door down and shouting my way cause I needed that!! My brain has been stuck on a loop with the events in E9.

I love, love, love this episode exactly because of the strong emotions it made me go through. To see the division, to see where everyone stands, to see what matters most to them: what they are going through or an ideal? It. Was. So. Good! It was skin itching to see it at the same time. Each episode has continued to take me by surprise and go beyond my expectations.

I love how well the writers have been able to portray the difference between people who have been through horrible events, and those who have seen them ‘on screen’. Remember in episode 7 when Amelia said 'a survivor is the last thing I’d wanna be.’? Now it resonates even more than ever. It’s poetry. And yes, Cooper isn’t just someone who ‘saw it Magneto’s way’. No. She was one of the perpetrators caught in the middle.

So that when Scott goes around saying ‘Magneto is responsible for this.’ When Wolverine is out for blood - it should make you angry cause it feels like the crimes that Bastion has orchestrated are secondary to the X-men's agenda of 'righting a wrong'. Bastion is just a battle, another villain they need to defeat. But the call was coming from inside the house all along.

I’ve seen people online saying that this episode did Magneto dirty. But I think it’s the opposite. Magneto had always been capable of awful things in his pain and anger, but that’s not the point the writers are trying to make. The name of the episodes is ‘Tolerance is extinction’ - the whole point is to put the viewer in the uncomfortable position of understanding Magneto’s anger, but knowing his actions have big consequences, all the while making you lose your mind at how backwards and ignorant Charles' side seems. People are dying because ultimately his dream is more important than the people the dream is made for. And Rogue and Magneto are calling him out on it. The beauty of it is that Charles is preaching an ethical way where everyone matters, but how entitled and arrogant he must come across when everyone else around him is just ‘sacrifices he is willing to make’ for the sake of an ideal. It’s beautiful and awful that the cry for battle and survival is coming from the mouth of those that have nothing left but violence in them, while the champions of the just offer shackles and tell those that suffer to endure more for the greater good.

Yes this episode is supposed to make people angry and confused. And I think it succeeds.

If there is one less positive thing to say about the show, it's the pacing. You can feel that they were forced to put everything in just 10 episodes because there are a lot of moments throughout the show that are either missing or rushed. (For ex. in this last episode I would have liked to have scene with Rogue and Roberto on Asteroid M, in a similar fashion to what we got for the two X-men squads; just a glimpse at how things are impacting them instead of immediately seeing them in a 'villain guards' roles.) But I am not going to hold it against the show; from what they've delivered it reads a lot like cuts that they needed to live with.

[noxx-33i]

Hello I have come to word vomit RGB trio thoughts and headcanons. Beware some of these will probably be nonsensical and not in order.

I think skate has the worst fashion taste out of the three. I can't say much on this though cause I also have an atrocious sense of fashion/lh

Boombox and to an extent Skate talk in 80's slang. Like radical, bodacious, hella, etc. 80's coded boombox just lives in my head rent free and i can't kick him out/silly

Their alcohol tolerance from lowest to highest goes: Skate, BB, Sling

BB and Skate crash at Slingshot's place ALL the time. At this point even Shuri and Vine are used to them just random showing up

^^continuing this I think they like to enter through anywhere but the window. Most especially Skate. BB at the very least is willing to act like a Normal person and use the door SOMETIMES. Skate however if he uses the door you'll bet that he's going in on his board. Whether or not he immediately crashes and breaks something inside is another thing/lh

Sometimes they'll just have Katy Perry Sessions with Shuriken. Like literally just listening to Katy Parry. Don't. Don't ask why I don't know either/lh

^^they have California Gurlz memorized.

If one of them does a crime none of them are snitching. If one goes down they all go down if one admits to it the other two will admit to it too. No bro left behind/silly

Sling is the smartest academically in their group and is probably the best at math. Not saying he's a prodigy im just saying BB and Skate are probably dumb as shit with math /lh+aaff

Sometimes Skate likes to record his Sick Moves™ and sometimes it would Also be in a place he proooobably shouldnt be in so Sling and BB take turns being on either camera duty or watch duty. Whether either of them are good at it is a different discussion/silly

Skate was caught stealing by the police once but BB was there and somehow he managed to trick them into believing he was Skate's lawyer and that he did not steal anything. Sling watched from the distant absolutely flabbergasted

Sling prices his menu very high and whenever someone asks he's just like "Oh yk, inflation!" and somehow it always works

they like setting fireworks off at night. Sometimes BB can't come cause he's too tired from work or something tho so

Despite Slingshot being the most academically smart in the group Boombox is the one who would hesitate when given a big shiny red button that could nuke Crossroads. Sling and Skate would see a shiny red button and go "ooo shiny" then BOOM!!!! /silly

idk if you want this but I have an au with my friend using the skins ingame (and some we made up for it hehe) where Snowboard and Rainbox were highschool best friends and they would get into shenanigans together like light theft (Rain is the distraction), parties maybe, etc andddd I love them very much

Snow in the au has canonically tried to rizz up a girl (in High School) only to bag her boyfriend AND her brother

^^The au takes place years later when Snowboard is in college (in Blackrock college cause there's no faction wars in this au) and when he comes back he finally meets Cozyshot who is Rain's roommate and erm my friend likes skateshot so I think you can tell what happens next (GAY PEOPLE) /silly

Okay im gonna stop rmabling now have a good day silly muah/p

IM GONNA RAMBLE TOO AND Oh my god ur so right on the first one.

SKATE HAS TERRIBLE FASHION SENse. I can smell it. Hes so sweaty he doesnt care ab his looks too much but bb would say "youre not going out like that

YES I AGREE. Boombox is stuck in the 80s and he doesnt want to leave. Im actually picking up these habits i wanna say rad so bad.

Skate being the lowest is the funniest shit wver bc i love bullying his ass. Did you tell i put NO EFFORT in his stupid hc reveal HEELP

I FEEL LIKE ONE DAY THEY MIGHT GET A SECRET HANGOUT PLACE… like fully furinisjed and with ac and all that fancy shit. How? Idk illegally? They probably have board games and dnd sessions with trusted friends who keep the place a hush

Bro theyre not normal they will never be normal… "GUYS HOW DID YOU GET IN" // "We lock picked your door" // "WHAT THE FUCK"

> lowkey skate would learn lock picking for fun and hed get so good at it he would be tempted to steal more stuff

>> that being said.. rob the bank?/ref

LOWKEY i feel like bb was a nerd in his younger years but grew out of it… he would probably like science facts and everyone thinks hes smart but hes not.. AND YES sling being math smart is so real teehee. Hes the expenses guy but also cant stop himself from spending more than he needs to

Skate n BB would get into so much trouble but no one can ever find them guilty in some fucking way and it makes the authorities so mad

Ironically id like to think Zuka easily catches them doing dumb shit but he doesnt care enough to report it

Sling has probably done tax evasion one or two times.. or more….

Ok cute hcs to vomit out… with ur mention of tired boombox i feel like sling and skate would immediately go to bbs place and crash not in a chaotic way but like ogghd.. ÖIKE THEY MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER BY GIVING SNACKS OR MASSAGES TO HELP HIM LOSE STRESS

Literally any time one of the RGB members get their vibes off its instantly to care land bc bcbc bc 😞😞🙁🙁😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 *sobbing crying throwing up* theyr besties 😭😭 this xan be both platonic or romantic i legit do not care i love BOTH

With that in mind i feel like whenever skate and bb crash over sling would have a few of their favorite pastries from his cafe saved in his fridge… like dog treats LMAOO

This is likge.. dog-cat-dog relationship… but all are chaotic as fuck /silly

YOUR AU SOUNDS SO SILLY PLEASE I WANT TO SEE!!!! I WANNA DRAW EVEN.

that au makes me think of sling with glasses for some reason… i need to draw so bad….!!!!;!2!

And they were roommates /ref+j

[autisticskeleton-s]

Good Omens season 2 is about what religious trauma does to indoctrinated people, and here’s why.

so i finally watched Good Omens after my friends BEGGED me to ever since the first season first dropped and even though the ending stabbed me in the balls repeatedly for several hours i can’t help but marvel about how genius the ending really is and how crucial it is to both Aziraphale and Crowley as characters

i was hesitant to watch this show bc i was indoctrinated and conditioned by evangelicalism from birth (i’m literally the kid of two ex-missionaries and my dad was a chaplain for 36 years) and i knew that i could easily get triggered if i wasn’t careful.

i’m so glad i watched this show. there’s many reasons but i really just wanna talk about the ending of s2 aka The Divorce. it went entirely over my friends heads bc none of them grew up in the church but when i watched the ending it felt like i was watching pieces of myself at war with each other even though they didn’t want to be. to me, i was watching two people so broken by heaven and hell that they don’t understand that what they’re doing is hurting themselves more than it’s hurting each other. this is a pretty long ramble so i’ll continue under the cut

Aziraphale and Crowley are two halves of the same coin (literally soulmates) and are narrative foils to each other. obviously right, i mean, everyone noticed that. but what they truly represent in the grand scheme of things is the fallout of religious trauma. Crowley has seen the absolute Worst of heaven and the angels. he’s been outcast, scorned, and tortured for (assuming based on the opening scene of season 2) simply asking questions and questioning his faith. Aziraphale is the poster child of what a good angel is in the eyes of heaven and has reaped the benefits for millennia.

what is happening here is a war between two halves of a whole, Denial vs Bitterness.

as a young child it was drilled into my head over and over that my faith had to be as strong as a rock all the time or i would crumble like sand. i idolized all the bible characters and memorized all the verses and did all the good and right things i was supposed to. i was a standard in all the churches i went to, i was the example of what a good christian was, and i knew it.

then, over time, i began to see behind the curtain on what was really going on in the church and i was devastated. how could something based on love do all of that? why am i so scared to think freely? why do i feel like i can never be good enough? the more i questioned the more shame i felt and the more bitter i became, but i longed to go back to that innocence of being the best little christian kid in the church.

Aziraphale cannot truly comprehend the uncomfortable reality that what he’s been subscribing to all this time isn’t good for him. heaven has been hurting him for a long time and he doesn’t understand that. how can something he thinks is so right, so true, so good hurt him and his friends so much? no, it must be something he’s done right? it must be some bad apples right? the whole orchard can’t be bad right? he just has to fix this. he just has to make it better for him and for Crowley and then everything will be ok again.

Crowley can’t wrap his mind around why Aziraphale cares so fucking much. hasn’t he seen what heaven and hell have done? they barely stopped the end of the fucking world!!! they tried to destroy both of them with holy water and hellfire!!!!! they’re still trying to meddle in their personal lives after everything!!! why is Aziraphale so stubborn???? why does he choose something so asinine over him? Crowley has been there for Aziraphale a hell of a lot more than heaven has, can’t he see that?

both of them are hurting deep down into their very souls and they just can’t see it. that’s what religious trauma does to you. it strips you so bare of your personhood that without your religion, who are you? without your god, you’re just an empty shell. you’re nothing without “us”, without the church.

without Aziraphale trying and failing to fix heaven, he’s never gonna understand how corrupt of a system it all is.

without Crowley learning that Aziraphale is hurting just as much as he is, he’s never gonna learn that Aziraphale really had his best intentions at heart and just wanted to do what he thought was the good thing

without both of them realizing that they’re both wrong, they’re never gonna come together and really stand up for themselves and for their friends and for earth as a whole. without this grief, without this pain, without this separation, they’re never going to be truly free

and i, for one, cannot wait to see them kick some ass when they decide that enough is enough

[megankoumori]

I've been a fan of the show "Daria" since the days my mom forbid me to watch it because...she could and no other reason. That didn't stop me from sneaking it when she was out with my brother for Scouts, then flipping the channel back to Cartoon Network before she got home. I wasn't a dummy.

When MTV finally released the DVD, after years of hemming and hawing and "Oh but the music rights are soooo expensive" (YOU'RE MTV), I was twenty-three and long past fighting for my right to watch whatever I wanted (I still got shit for it. She just couldn't stop me). I bought the DVD and watched it in the living room. And then in the middle of "The Teachings of Don Jake..."

Jane: Do you know where I'll be this weekend? The Lane family reunion. Dozens of Lanes from all over the country converging in one Midwestern split-level to remind themselves why they scattered in the first place.

"Hey this show is funny! I didn't know it could be funny!"

That's because you never actually watched it.

Daria is sardonic, cynical, an unpopular brain who is perfectly content to stay in and devour a stack of books. Quinn is her polar opposite: shallow, obsessed with looks and popularity, and would rather die than have anyone think she's academic, or even just a little smart. To become the other is each's worst nightmare...

Sometimes literally.

And yet despite being as far opposite in personality as Mercury is from Pluto, being sisters, they're forced to cohabitat.

I don't think it's a coincidence that Daria the Brain ended up with Quinn the Peppy Bubble Head for a sister. In fact, I think it was inevitable.

In the later seasons of the show, we learn that the superficial Quinn is largely a front. She is smart. Not book smart like Daria, but she's able to mentally retain a lot of information about clothes, makeup, and brands, which is a marketable skill. She focuses on these things because she doesn't feel she has anything else to offer. And then there's Sandy, ready to pounce if Quinn even thinks about stepping out of line. When Quinn did make an effort and earned a good grade in Mr. O'Neil's class, she was forced to lie and tell Sandy she cheated, lest she be dumped by all her friends.

Why does Quinn even care? Sandy has all the charisma of a wooden plank and the charm of a hemorrhoid. Surely Quinn doesn't need her, or anyone's approval. So why is she so desperate for it?

It goes back to her and Daria. Specifically, their childhood.

As a child, Daria was much like she is as a teenager. Ahead of her peers both intellectually and academically with a love of books. According to Helen, talking to Daria was like talking to a little adult. And yet none of this mattered. Her teachers and counselors didn't care if Daria was brilliant. She didn't play with the other kids. She didn't conform, and that's all that mattered.

Quinn, being very young, witnessed all of this happening to her sister. Even though she forgot as she grew older, she had already internalized the lesson: Fit in. Conform. Smart doesn't matter. Smart makes you a freak. Smart makes Mom and Dad scream at each other in the middle of the night.

Don't be a brain. Be popular. Even if you have to put with Sandy's bullshit, be popular.

This I can get behind.

[itsclydebitches]

Have you seen the posts going around saying shit like "If a mutual likes Hazbin Hotel I will block them"?? It's genuinely upsetting me tbh, not just the idea that people don't like the show, but that they despise it so much they can't even stand the thought of someone they know liking the show. It reminds me of the Steven Universe hate train only worse. They also say shit like "the show is just someone saying swear words and expecting you to laugh", and if for a second we put aside the fact that that is blatantly not true, what's wrong with that? I'm allowed to like something that's a bit trash, right? I've already seen two different people I follow reblog posts to that effect (and worse, someone saying all a character boils down to is "i love being sexually abused <3" and i don't know how they ever came to that conclusion) and it's driving me mad. And somehow I just know that they don't actually give a shit about any "controversies" surrounding vivziepop, that's just a convenient excuse for most of them. I don't even care if Vivzie is a bad person, that's none of my business. just live and let live, you know?

Sorry for ranting, you're literally the only blog i follow who posts Hazbin fan content

Rant away, friend! Luckily for me I haven't come across any of those posts yet. Plenty of discourse surrounding whether fans are allowed to make romantic and/or sexual content for Alastor, the expected shipping wars, and - as you say - vague references to Vivzie controversies (which I'm too new a fan to even be aware of yet)... but nothing that's a complete rejection of the show itself. That's probably because I've only engaged with blogs posting a lot of Hazbin content though.

I'm a big fan of old school Internet rules which includes an emphasis on cultivating your own online space. You know, the thing tumblr is explicitly designed for. So in theory I applaud anyone blocking users/tags for a show they're not a fan of. Performatively posting about it more as a way to guilt others for liking Hazbin at all... not so much. If you want to block something just block it. If you're mutuals with someone you both presumably like each others' content. Not all of it necessarily, but enough to have followed in the first place, and often being mutuals for long enough leads to friendship because you're both getting interacting with one another a lot. All of which isn't to say that people don't unfollow mutuals, or that you can't drop a mutual because they've started posting something you dislike. Obviously both situations do happen, but it feels like an extreme enough response that these posters probably aren't actually doing this very often. Most people will wait the mutual out until their interest gets hooked on something new, or block the Hazbin tag and keep the friend, or just block without making a big announcement about it. So posts like that feel more like a way to show off how much you dislike the show and guilt others for their enjoyment which yeah, can be upsetting to see. Especially when, as you say, it costs nothing to just let people like things.

Which might sound hypocritical on my part given my RWBY interests, but I think there's a big difference between critically examining a show while supporting others who genuinely love it, and simplistically blasting it. I COMPLETELY get why Hazbin wouldn't be to everyone's tastes and, like with the SU example, anything that gets popular enough is going to develop its haters (especially cartoons trying to tackle non-childish subjects. That's always going to be a fandom landmine). But if you're going to make claims about a show, at least watch it to ensure you can back up your stance? And if your takeaway is still, "This is the worst fucking thing I've ever watched"... cool. Go forth and write about that on your own, personal blog. But no one should be surprised when they're also blocked for bragging about how many Hazbin fans they've blocked.

[azquine]

Can I get something on the JoanFK tag that ISN'T just complaining? It is ok to be feeling shit that things went badly in the show, but do you have to tag that negativity on the ship? The negativity is all that there is to see whenever I try to interact with the show and it's making me feel horrible.

I've been in far worse fandoms, and they didn't make me feel this bad.

It all feels so puritanical, like you have forgotten what a teen drama parody entails. Did you forget that they were ALL assholes in the first season who backstabbed and did shitty things to eachother for their own selfish gain? You are applying pretty strict rules of morality onto characters who intrinsically must break those rules to allow the narratives of their genre to move.

This was a short kiss, the result of feelings that JFK and Harriet had actively been trying to avoid for the sake of Joan. This could have been resolved by open communication, but that's not how either drama shows OR stupid hormonal teens work. After making this mistake, they did the most responsible and moral thing they could have and confessed it literally within the same episode as soon as Joan would not, you know, DIE as a result.

All things considered, it wasn't a secret relationship, it wasn't sex, it wasn't a long term secret held until it accidentally spills out and ruins everything. It could have been SO much worse, it was none of my worst fears, and I'm honestly relieved a kiss was where it stopped. And I am also really glad they confessed to quickly because I HATE liar revealed plots more than ANYTHING and I probably would have stopped watching. If they were going to do this plotline it was the best case scenario for me.

And do you know what is even better? What should be the bare minimum but is actually pretty rare in dramas from my experience? Neither of them tried to mitigate Joan's reaction, to say she was overreacting or to dance around the issue to make it sound better beyond a truthful 'we felt nothing'. Joan was allowed the space to fully process the information and her emotions, even if through a montage. And damn I wish I saw that more often.

As for those saying JFK would need a redemption for what he has done- does being open and honest about his wrongdoings not do that pretty succinctly? Beyond having not done it at all what else do you want? Pretty puritanical to want him to suffer before he can be forgiven.

And granted, Harriet got plenty of unjustified hate before she had even done anything, but post-kiss most of the discussion and anger I have seen has been directed solely at JFK. Harriet was part of that kiss too, knowingly going against her friend. Why is the romantic relationship deemed worse to betray? Both of them did a stupid thing together, and fixed it together.

And I'm not saying Joan putting all the consequence on Abe is justified, he didn't do shit wrong either, he tried to keep his friend alive in a tricky situation.

All of your feelings are valid, and I do see why the dominant opinion is what it is. Cheating is an awful thing to do and you should not be with someone you do not trust, I cannot refute that.

Yet at the same time, I felt it was important to put forward some differing points that I had been having. This show will not be enjoyable if we hold a position of being negative and moralistic. To some extent there has to be an acceptance that this is a fiction and moral failings are often part of a narrative structure.

(And while many of you have legitimate critiques on the execution of the show, it feels like some of you are taking the 'thing done badly because I don't like it' route)

I really hope nobody takes this as me trying to enforce cheating or to say that JFK and Harriet kissing was ok. It was shitty of them to do in the first place, but they are not morally irredeemable. Teen do stupid bad thing is not new. I'm also not interested in having an argument over this, I get caught up far too easily in that so I won't be answering any replies or asks. It is fine if you disagree, I'm here to propose a counterpoint.

Sorry if this was repetitive or lengthy. It just felt like I had to get it out there despite it being the early hours of the morning.

[cellu-lightreading]

Day 9- Euphoria

Your young years are supposed to be filled with self-destructive decisions, at least that’s what TV tells me. I don’t think that they imagined what my friends are doing. I mean, I guess it’s a little cliché. Lots of kids move out of their parents’ house as soon as they possibly can to do all the stuff their parents didn’t approve of. Lots of kids move in with their friends thinking it will be the best time ever. A staggering amount of young people use how hot they are to make money online. I guess the difference is most of them are not over 500 pounds trying to concoct ways to get fatter.

I’m not sure it’s fair to say we’re like most other gainers either. After all, most gainers would hit 500 and wonder if they’re getting too big to function in human society. The question becomes: how do you support yourself?

“We don’t. That’s what the internet is for.” Robin was the pragmatic one who was good at planning. As a teen, he disguised his interest in gaining in sports.  He joined the football team and let the coach demand that he eat big and grow big. The whole time he knew that when he quit sports that his newly expanded appetite wouldn’t stop, but all the muscle he had gained would dissolve into fat. Now he’s so big that his old jersey wouldn’t even be able to cover the giant shelf of moobs that sit on top of his belly, but he is an absolute beast at eating contests.

Robin suggested turning our apartment into the perfect fantasy for feeders, chasers, and encouragers to watch. One glutton willing to show off every stretchmark of their six-foot wide belly already drives them wild, imagine four.

It all goes just as he said when we get our first viral clip. The four of us moving around on a bed frame turned the poor thing into tiny pieces of scrap metal in the middle of a stuffing. The sound of creaking things is practically ambient noise in a house where nothing is built to withstand the weight of even one of us. Why stop eating for that? We were enjoying  ourselves with bucket after bucket of fried chicken and fries. It was already so fattening that grease would drip down our fingers and mouths, then we had the nerve to start dipping the food in vats of cheese and gravy.

This was really Davie’s idea. He was a fat kid, so he’s been experimenting with the most pleasurable and wildest combinations of food for years. Finishing off a pint of ice cream by eating it with a couple stacks of McDonald’s pancakes? That’s normal for Davie. It’s also why his blood sugar levels are obscenely high. He doesn’t even care ever since he found out he can use insulin and turn all his worst fattening instincts to get even fatter. It’s his voice at the end of the clip, right after the bed collapses asking: “What are you guys thinking of for dessert?”

A house with four growing superchubs has certain logistical problems that have only gotten worse as we feed each other. All the walking required just to take out the trash makes it the least favorite chore in the house. But we’re also getting to the point where we need just to take care of ourselves. None of us can bend to the ground and tie our shoes. Even if we get most of our stuff delivered, someone has to be able to fit behind the wheel of the car- seatbelt extension or not.

“That’s where in person feeders come in.” Troy suggested. He’s the most conniving of the group. He literally wore his parents down until they gave up and enabled him through his teenage years. Now he’s 22 and considers a 5 minute walk an intense workout that should leave everyone out of breath and drenched in sweat like him. “Countless boys want to come experience the house. Let’s see who can really handle it. Encouragers will relish the chance to help you shower if you tell them it’s their opportunity to rub every square inch of your body and feel between your folds. They will jump at the chance to clean up if you tell them about how you made the mess by falling asleep after an hour long binge. If the price for a butler is that they call us fat ass pigs, which we already say to each other because it’s true, I think it’s worth it.”

That little tidbit is how we started getting other men in our house. The feeders would come do everything for us just as Troy wanted. Muscular men would come through the house and put down cinderblocks to reinforce the couch and clean the kitchen. The prices ended up being a little flexible. It could just be a tease here and there. Sometimes they did it to feel the folds of our belly on their head while they sucked our dicks. We would make videos with them and they would charm us completely.

The problems started when Robin and one of the feeders started getting really close. They were texting all the time and he was coming over a lot. Robbie had gotten attached, and it was evident to everyone but him. He did everything but make Pinterest boards for the wedding. The feeder wasn’t nearly as interested; he was just looking to live out some fantasies.

So it didn’t mean anything to him when Robin was gone but Troy answered the door one afternoon. It didn’t mean anything to him that he fed Troy a buffet of McDonald’s. It didn’t mean anything to him when Troy kissed him and seduced him and fucked him. It didn’t mean anything to him that they did every day of the rest of that week. But it meant something to Robin.

When Robin saw that Troy had uploaded a video of the two of them to his page, he was distraught. He chewed out Troy who could only defend himself by saying that the feeder didn’t think they were exclusive. He had a hard and heartbreaking conversation with the feeder who never once thought about how he would hurt Robin. Lastly, he came to me with a gallon jug of ice cream and a tote bag of toppings to cry on my shoulders.

The hard parts of life were fully my domain in the house. I couldn’t start trying to gain until I could support those dreams myself. At 16, I got a job at fast food chicken place and spent my checks and my late nights in high school and college munching on all the greasy food I could handle at once. The more time I had to work, the more money I had in my bank account, the more I was eating. The boys had appointed me the dad friend, and I was the one up late at night mindlessly eating a pie and paying bills with sticky fingers. I was the one who balanced the house’s budget in the morning and relaxed with a beer at night.

When boys start acting like teenagers, you need an adult to step in. I consoled Robin until the early morning, letting him eat his feelings until he fell asleep in my bed. I shook Troy down until he felt some remorse and apologized. When it was all over, Davie brought me a small bowl of ice cream, wrapped his arms around me and said,

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the drama of a Euphoria episode, but you’re a good enough friend that we never worry about that stuff.”

[hc-werner]

The Dialectical Humanism of Big-Ass Robots: An Intro

“There’s a deep, earnest seriousness to most mecha shows (especially within the “real robot” subgenre) that implores the audience to grapple with intricate ideas and themes drawn from philosophers like Aristotle, Nietzche, and Rousseau, oftentimes complete with allegorical mouthpieces for competing ideologies.”

My high school students always lose their shit when I tell them that I, Coach Werner, also watch anime. I kinda feel bad about it. By now, I know I’ll see the excitement die from their eyes little by little as they pepper me with questions, searching for a connection with show after show after show. 

“Coach, have you seen Jojo?”

“Nope.”

“What about DBZ or Naruto?”

“Not since before you were born.”

“Attack on Titan? Utena? Tokyo Ghoul?”

“Not yet, though they’re on my list.”

“The fuck Coach? I thought you said you watch anime!”

When I tell them I mostly watch mecha, they get confused. After I explain that mecha are the ones with jumbo-sized robots, they groan. I’ve even had one kid say that didn’t count. As a general rule, I try to not let the opinions of 15 year olds hurt my feelings; I only docked his grade a couple points. 

Whatever my students may think, oversized anthropomorphized robots have fascinated me since I was a kid. Over the years, as I’ve revisited shows from my youth and found new mechanized, cel shaded rabbit holes to tumble down, I’ve tried to figure out what exactly was so appealing about the genre. There’s definitely a bit of wish fulfillment, a sorta kaiju-sized power fantasy, sure, but that’s not all of it. Same with intricate sci-fi world building, and of course the thrill of pew-pew dogfights and beam saber duels. But none of those alone seemed to account for the whole thing. They’re all fun set dressing, definitely worth a watch on their own but not enough, I don’t think, to capture my imagination for nearly a quarter of a century.

This series, The Dialectical Humanism of Big-Ass Robots, started off as a rambling, borderline incoherent and definitely substance enhanced diatribe that tried to explain how excited I was for the first episodes of Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury. It feels right, though, both the name and the bigger through line.

There’s a deep, earnest seriousness to most mecha shows (especially within the “real robot” subgenre) that implores the audience to grapple with intricate ideas and themes drawn from philosophers like Aristotle, Nietzche, and Rousseau, oftentimes complete with allegorical mouthpieces for competing ideologies. There’s also the slightly goofy and always physics-defying “rule of cool” concepts of the robots themselves–I mean, who doesn’t want to see a boom cannon with angel wings, or a crucified rage monster, or transforming karaoke jets?–that can easily be laughed off as a kid’s cartoon. Any foolhardy (read: hubristic and dumbasstic) attempt to try to find unifying threads within such a wide and varied genre has to address both of those tendencies. Here, friend, you will find one such foolhardy attempt. 

Mecha anime, more than any other subgenre, has a fundamental tension summarized by two infuriatingly simultaneous, contradictory truths:

Anthropomorphized mechs bring out the best in humanity, allowing us to overcome our flaws and leap forward into a better future.

Anthropomorphized mechs feed into the worst traits of humanity, allowing us to destroy ourselves in new and technologically advanced ways.

Those two overwhelmingly common truths, when taken together, can be summarized in fancy philosophy jargon with just two words: dialectical humanism.

Dialectics is a concept pioneered (in the West, at least) by Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel during the late 18th and early 19th century. There’s literally a whole field of study called “Hegelian Dialectics” that we’ll touch on from time to time, but the main thing to know is that two mutually exclusive and contradictory ideas are often both true at the same time. 

Humanism has a long, fraught history, but the most common Western interpretations stem from Enlightenment-era ideals. Essentially, humanism boils down to the belief that humankind can progress beyond its animalistic nature through a combination of empathy and rational thinking. Again, we’ll be touching on a whole slew of humanist thinkers throughout this series.

So that’s The Dialectical Humanism of Big-Ass Robots. I feel like mecha shows–from Astro Boy to Zeta Gundam, and almost everything in between–play with this dialectic, where the mechs themselves represent humanity’s ultimate destruction and ultimate salvation simultaneously. Sometimes we struggle to survive, sometimes we overcome and thrive, and sometimes we find ourselves transformed into an ocean of pink goo.

In this series, we’ll look at:

Magical Newtype Bullshit and radical empathy

Depression, memory, and trauma, and why Shinji can’t just get in the fucking robot

The power of music (and love, hope, and propaganda) in a transforming space city

And much, much more.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch a Tanuki pilot a Gundam.

[raveneira]

HII!! Thanks for answering and trying to bring the fandom back! Can't wait to see what everyone will write (or draw) for KawaSara week, i'm sure it'll be great content^^. I can see why would they lose faith but that could never be me, conflict doesn't scare me lol!! Omg that "healthy" vs "toxic" thing is so annoying like idc lmfao, the worst part is i ship SasuSaku and KawaSara and both get hate for that and mind you most of the time it's people that ships toxic stuff too but draws the line at other ships🤦🏻‍♀️. The "healthy" ships fan are ironically the most toxic people i saw. I literally saw them on twitter harassing that KawaSara week page and one of them even posted the pic of OP blocking them & laughed with their friend, the obsession BS fans have with KS fans is astonishing. All of this over a mid ship that isn't even canon. That "you don't care about her feelings" coming from them is ironic, they literally ignore her saying that she does NOT like Boruto lmfao. They literally discredit and undermine SasuSakus moments, a CANON couple, of course they wouldn't lose the chance to do that with a fanon ship (for now), SS&KS have one thing in common and it's the haters, they are literally the same people. Not only they're insecure with KS but BoruSumi too, that's exactly why they ship Kaw*Sum* to get them BOTH out of the way. (I'll be a good person so no shade towards SH/SNS fans XD). Idk but their hate is so weird, also the way they treat Boruto & Sarada is so weird, it's all about that Uzu*aki x Uchiha stuff and that's sooo creepy. Exactly they don't care about them (or just Sarada), it's either for "op babies" or because they previous ships flopped (Nar*Sak* or Nar*Sas*). Them saying to KawaSara fans they don't want a SS 2.0 (they don't even have a lot of things in common, just a few) but than comparing BS not only to SS (free ss😭) but every other ship in Naruto is beyond hypocritical. They get away with everything and it's SO annoying. Literally just saw them calling other haters/jealous lmfao, they're so easy to predict. Also you forgot to add how much they love to call everyone else delusional as if their ship is canon, like girlie none of them is canon, so for now everybody is delusional lol. WHEN YOU POINT THIS OUT THEY DENY IT LIKE??? She literally revolves around him and ignores her own parents (that she separated) like hellooo?? Her idol, ChoCho her best friend?? Like come on guys. It's all about him, nothing about her and that's another thing that i dislike about them. I'm praying that Kawakis development will be good and that we'll see more deep/interesting conversations between him and Sarada. They should block, silence and report them and enjoy KawaSara week in peace, i hope that they won't let BS fans stop them from enjoying it!! Sorry i wrote a lot too lmfaoo.

I literally saw them on twitter harassing that KawaSara week page and one of them even posted the pic of OP blocking them & laughed with their friend,

Really? Im not surprised lol these ppl are very devoted stalkers, no matter how many of them I block, theres always someone who slips through the cracks and watches from the shadows until they finally reveal themselves, and also go reporting to their leader what I be sayin or doin for them to send their minions after me or play victim lol I literally put it to the test because I was suspicious that that was the case, so I showed several screenshots of something they said I was lying about proving it wasn't a lie, but I purposefully didnt censor the names to see if they would go running to snitch to them and thats exactly what they did, not even a few minutes passed between them responding to me and the person in the screenshot talking about me.

The kicker? I have that acc BLOCKED and have had it blocked for years, so for them to of seen it, somebody HAD to report to her what I said, so my suspicion was proven true, there ARE minions stalking me from the shadows and reporting to whatever leader with a big following they follow lol not only that, but they TOLD her that I be stalking HER and even make posts about her ON MY TUMBLR so Im not only stalked on twitter, but on tumblr as well, which btw is a flat out lie because I dont care enough about anybody THAT MUCH to stalk them

I have mutuals who will show me some of the dumb takes she makes occassionally, but they do that with any acc that makes dumb takes, all gcs do, I dont go looking for it because I dont care enough to, but I guess because I occasionally made comment about the dumb shit she says, one of her minions went and made me out to be a stalker over it, despite them literally stalking me to even find that out lol Its sad honestly, bein that obsessed with a ship and its fandom to that extent.

Not to make myself seem important [their the ones who do that with their actions] but I think these ppl hate me so much because they cant rattle me lol they cant stand that they cant get to me, that they cant scare me off, that they cant intimidate me with their 'lol ksa is dead, bsa is canon, accept it, she blushed, they hugged, they clearly love eachother, I know your mad, I know it bothers you, you should just give up, you've lost, just accept bsa is canon and give up on ksa, it'll never happen' ramblings but everytime they throw one of those at me Im never bothered, I always come back at them unbothered and just stating the facts lol its not canon, its not even semi canon, theres still zero confirmation of romantic feelings on either side, any implication you claim there is is just your personal interpretations of what they mean, not what they are canonically confirmed to be, Sarada has denied having romantic feelings clearly and firmly multiple times and has remained consistent on that so Im not giving up or accepting anything that isnt confirmed yet just because of how YOU interpret their relationship and interactions thus far, talk to me when you have confirmation like BoruSumi has, till then your in line waiting with the rest of us lol they never bounce back from that

I know it kills them inside that no matter how much their fed they still dont have confirmation from either side yet while BoruSumi does, it eats them alive that Sarada, the main female, the one they claim is closest to him and so obviously loves him so much, has yet to be confirmed to be inlove with him and everytime shes asked she denies it and is uncomfortable, they were overjoyed when Mitsuki asked her and she avoided his question so they could be like 'See? Mitsuki knows she likes him, he said she doesnt know how she truly feels yet, its confirmed' yet that didnt go how they wanted because unlike they hoped, ppl actually paid attention to what was said and it wasnt anything like they tried to make it out to be.

Mitsuki was talking about himself and being unsure of HIS true feelings, his question to Sarada was him trying to figure his own feelings out through Sarada, but when she avoided the question, Mitsuki backed off seeing she was uncomfortable and said that it didnt matter, they tried to deny this for the longest and insisted it was about Sarada until chapter 7 of TBV released and proved our statement EXACTLY right, that it WAS Mitsuki being confused about his feelings for Boruto and trying to make sense of them so their one little sliver of confirmation they thought they had went out the window and now their back in limbo with the rest of us waiting for confirmation.

So no matter how confident they try to act, their scared to death that their still not confirmed without a doubt to be semi canon yet, because even tho it doesnt automatically mean their endgame, it DOES give them a higher possibility to be if they are, which is why they fear Sumire being so involved because you could ignore Hinata majority of the time because she wasnt around Naruto or involved with his plot that much, but you cant ignore Sumire because she IS, and THATS what scares them.

Even so they seem to still harbor a greater hatred for KawaSara than they do BoruSumi despite them not even being semi canon, which is crazy to me because I dont even think they realize how insecure they look for doing so lol if your more threatened by a not even semi canon ship, maybe your ship aint doin as well as you act like it is cuz trust and believe if your ship had nothin to worry about then you wouldnt be bothered, so if your bothered that means you see something to be threatened by.

That "you don't care about her feelings" coming from them is ironic, they literally ignore her saying that she does NOT like Boruto lmfao.

That one really is rich coming from them, they care about her feelings but their the ones who insist she doesnt know or understand her own feelings even when shes outright saying what she feels

"Does it bother you that other girls might like Boruto?" "Huh? seriously? of course not"

^^^^ This statement is totally ignored, instead they focus on her being shocked at Sumire confessing she likes him as implying shes jealous, even when her character profile also said Sarada was shocked at Sumire's bold statement, they still said it was jealousy, not caring about what she SAID is her feelings, they decided she doesnt know how she feels but they do.

"So you do like Boruto?" "What!? where the heck did that come from!?" "So you dont?" "Im saying whether I do or dont has nothing to do with this!"

^^^^ Another statement they ignore that debunks one of their main arguements that her wanting to help, support, protect etc Boruto is because she loves him romantically, this statement debunks that entirely because she says those exact feelings have NOTHING to do with whether or not she likes him, those are just her genuine feelings for her friend and teammate thats struggling and shes feeling frustrated being unable to help him like she wishes she could.

Its honestly ironic the lack of self awareness ppl have, to accuse others of lacking reading comprehension, while also blatantly lacking it themselves that they cant even comprehend something as simple as this.

But again, they ignore how SHE says she feels and instead THEY decide how shes feeling, because to THEM yea she says that but she doesnt mean it, she actually does love him but she just hasnt realized she does yet cuz shes tsundere [even tho she isnt] because to them THEY know her better than herself, THEY decide how she really feels not Sarada herself, because anything she says that doesnt fit their narrative oh well shes just confused but WE [they] know what she really means so just take their words for it because unlike us who cant 'read between the lines' they actually understand her character and respect how she feels.

Yeah, because nothing says respecting someones feelings like ignoring everything they say they feel and trying to make them feel how you want them to feel.

The only time its ok to insist someone doesnt know how they feel, is when their actually shown not knowing how they feel, not them saying outright what they feel firmly without hesitation.

So the fact that they try to dictate and determine what Sarada feels over what Sarada herself says she feels is nothing short of them not caring about her feelings, because they dont care that she doesnt like Boruto, they are going to MAKE her like him whether thats how she really feels or not. So anytime somebody hits you with that 'if your a real Sarada fan you would accept her feelings even if you dont like them' know their full of shit because when they dont like it they dont accept it either, they just want YOU to respect what THEY say her feelings are, nothing else.

Not only they're insecure with KS but BoruSumi too, that's exactly why they ship KawSum to get them BOTH out of the way.

Its funny because they used the same talking points too that they used for SK lol 'she understands him, they have a similar past, he has a soft spot for her' same bs different ship, but they say KawaSara is SH/SK lol better look again.

Idk but their hate is so weird, also the way they treat Boruto & Sarada is so weird, it's all about that Uzu*aki x Uchiha stuff and that's sooo creepy.

The sad part is this isnt even a theory or antis makin stuff up on them, heres a compilation, straight from the horses mouth, that THIS is their main objective and appeal of the ship.

It is genuinely weird as hell how obsessed these ppl are with these kids genes, but it makes sense when you consider how they treat Sarada, their just a little TOO protective of her ya know? like she just HAS to be with Boruto no matter what, she CANT be with anyone else but him or it'll just be terrible for her and the story etc.

Exactly how would it be terrible for her tho? whats wrong with Mitsuki? lack of development? so what? Chokarui exists.

Whats wrong with Kawaki? cuz he tried to kill her? cuz hes mean? cuz he hurt the MC? SasuSaku says hi so whats the problem? oh well KawaSara isnt like SS because Sakura actually liked Sasuke since the beginning and they had development, well so did KawaSara, even if Sarada doesnt like Kawaki like Sakura did from the beginning, so what? she doesnt have to for them to still be similar to them, and the irony is she doesnt like Boruto either, so shouldnt the same logic apply to them? its all bs.

Their main goal and objective is seeing what an Uchiha/Uzumaki/Hyuuga baby would be like because their convinced their children will be gods, even if they try to pretend they ship them cuz of love, development, mutual respect [there isnt] and the energy they put into eachother [its one sided, Sarada gives way more than she receives] its really all about their genes, the same reason they desperately wanted Sasuke with Karin, but with BoruSara even more now because thats THREE op clan genes their children will have, Uchiha, Uzumaki, AND Hyuuga.

They dont give af about their bond, their feelings, or their characters, they care about how powerful their child is gonna be, and that is truly disgusting.

The fact that they have the nerve to talk about other ships being disgusting, when their ships main objective is what kinda OP baby Sarada pops out for Boruto, is nothing short of hypocritical. Eugenics should never be the main basis for a ship, period, its just weird, and the fact that it has been a topic of discussion SINCE THEIR INTRODUCTION and they were both around 6-7 is downright weird and sickening.

If Boruto did not have Uzumaki and Hyuuga dna, BoruSara would not be half as popular as it is now, the appeal of how strong their kid would be is the main reason this ship has as many supporters as it has, NOT how great the actual ship as a whole is.

Think about it, what other ship do you see have THAT MANY comments about wanting them together to see how powerful their child is? you cant name one, because unlike them, OTHER SHIP FANDOMS ACTUALLY LIKE THEIR SHIPS FOR THEIR DYNAMIC/RELATIONSHIP/BOND not how powerful their kid is gonna be, their kids are an after thought, not they primary one and main reason they want it endgame.

Obviously shippers imagine their ships endgame and family life, but there's a big difference between just coming up with fanon kids/enjoying family content, and straight up eugenics where the only appeal is how OP their children are gonna be and what crazy new jutsus etc their gonna have

So when these hypocrites try and act superior like their the healthy ones and everyone else is toxic I have to laugh because their fandom is the only one this obsessed with eugenics, every other fandom just likes the ships dynamic and relationship and bond, their kids are a fun afterthought not a primary focus, for BoruSara fans its a main focus. That alone tells you where their priorities are, not love, just babies.

Sarada's only value to them is that she's Uchiha, if Sarada was lets say a Haruno/Lee instead not even half of these ppl would ship her as strongly with Boruto as they do now.

It explains why they care so little about Sarada's character and ignore all justified complaints about how poorly shes written, why is that? because why would they be? they dont need Sarada to be a good written character to get what they want, they LIKE her being written as a Boruto centric damsel in distress whos whole world revolves around him, thats good for them, because they need her for those babies, so the more obsessed she is with him the better, they dont care how bad it looks for her character, as long as its bringin them closer to those OP kids they dont care if Ikemoto had her kissing the ground Boruto walked on, or hell, even using her as a stepping stone over a puddle, they'd justify all of that and say shes a good well written character if it means their gettin those OP babies.

Sakura hasnt done half the pathetic things Sarada has and she gets dragged as the worst female character in shounen history, why do you think that is? because shes just a normal girl with non special genes to be passed down and create something powerful, but Sarada? the only other living member of the famous Uchiha clan, the strongest clan in Konoha next to the Senju, her genes passed down with someone from the Hyuuga/Uzumaki, two other very powerful clans, would create something truly out of this world.

And there you have it, thats all you need to know, just ask yourself whats different about how Sakura is written and Sarada and you'll notice the main deciding factor on why Sarada is better than Sakura is because of her genes. Thats all Sarada is to them, her genes, and they've made that more than clear to everyone whether they try to pretend that isnt the case or not, we all see the truth.

Them saying to KawaSara fans they don't want a SS 2.0 (they don't even have a lot of things in common, just a few)

Ironic considering this is them

Its all bs, they realized how stupid it was denying similarities to a canon ship because that actually increases the likelihood of it being canon [NH being similar to MinaKushi and SS being similar to FugaMiko, ShikTema being similar to his parents etc] so then they started claiming SS for themselves to claim they'll be canon, even tho prior to that they were saying they didnt want SS 2.0 because it was toxic and abusive and ruin Sarada's character like her mother and that Kishimoto learned from his mistakes, even though he never once expressed regrets about his endgame ships lol they think somehow BoruSara is supposed to be his 'atonement', yet now suddenly SS 2.0 is fine now that they apply it to BoruSara, suddenly its not toxic or ruins Sarada's character.

The way you know their not even sincere about it and just saying it to prove how their endgame, is because these ppl dont even understand SS themselves and only look at the superficial things on the surface, not their core characters and relationship and everything that went into it from the beginning to now.

This is why BoruSara is an insult to SS because its such a shallow representation of what SS was

For example Sarada's speech to Shikamaru about her defending a traitor like her dad used to be, and comparing her defending Boruto to how Naruto [and Sakura] defended Sasuke. Of course those buffoons ran with it like yea she's defending Boruto like Sakura did Sasuke when he was a traitor its totally endgame.

This is just surface level SS tho, Sakura wasnt just defending an innocent man wrongly accused, Sakura was defending an ACTUAL traitor, Sasuke made the conscious decision to abandon Konoha and betray everyone and willingly attempt to kill his comrade, all in his pursuit of power to avenge his family that was wrongfully murdered by his brother, he chose revenge >> his friends and Konoha, Sakura and Naruto stood by him despite that because they knew the real him and wanted to save him from that dark lonely path he was walking because they genuinely wanted him to be happy and knew he wouldnt be if he walked this path.

Compare that to BoruSara, why is Boruto a traitor? he isnt, everyone just thinks he is because of mass brainwashing, its Kawaki who is actually the traitor that everyone hates, but due to omnipotence thats all directed at Boruto now, why did Boruto leave? because if he didnt he would've been killed by everyone who thinks hes a traitor now, what is Borutos end goal? to undo omnipotence and knock some sense into Kawaki [and save the world obviously] and what is Sarada defending Boruto from? absolutely nothing, because hes innocent, so all her mouthing off has zero weight because shes defending an innocent person, so of COURSE she'd stand by him.

With Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura were defending a traitor, and then an international terrorist, they were INSANE to defend him but they did anyway because they loved him, they understood there had to be a reason, it was hard, and there was doubt, but overall they loved Sasuke and refused to give up on him and kept hope that one day they could all laugh together again as team 7.

Sarada is going through zero conflict over this, zero struggle, everyone is just brainwashed so none of the push back she receives has any weight because she knows its because of omnipotence that their acting that way, so the most she does is get frustrated that she cant break through omnipotences hold over them, but with Naruto and Sakura you had friends, comrades, even family telling them that they need to give up and let Sasuke die, that there was no saving him, that as Hokage your gonna have to make the hard decisions even if you dont want to etc and these werent ppl brainwashed, these were their sincere thoughts and feelings about the situation that brought both Naruto and Sakura to having breakdowns because of the inner tormoil it caused.

Show me where Sarada is going through that type of hell for Boruto, that kind of struggle, literally going her against the world [not ppl brainwashed by omnipotence] where is Sarada facing REAL hardship and pain trying to fight for Boruto? this is what I mean by ppl only making surface level comparisons for SS, because defending Sasuke wasnt just about defending a traitor, it was much deeper than that, and to treat it as if Sarada's situation is even remotely similar to that is a huge disrespect to SS.

The only way this would really parallel SS is if it was Kawaki she did this for, not because of my ship preference, but because its literally thematically similar. If you remove omnipotence, leave everybody in their right minds where they all believe Kawaki is a irredeemable traitor they want dead, THEN it would be similar to SS because Sarada would ACTUALLY be defending a traitor against non brainwashed ppl and trying to prove to them that despite his terrible actions there must be a good reason behind it and that hes still a good person etc, THEN it'd be similar.

But having Sarada just be defending an innocent man like shes really some ride or die when she doesnt have to ride or die for anything since he really isnt a traitor or bad guy to begin with is nothing short of goofy, even more so comparing it to SS when Sarada currently cant even handle a brainwashed Shikamaru not believing her like she already knew he didnt, Sakura and Naruto were willing to fight cloud nin, Naruto got on his knees to beg the Raikage for mercy on Sasuke, they were willing to go confront Danzo and possibly fight him, Naruto pushed Gaara's hand away when he tried to tell him to give up on Sasuke, Sakura punched Sai in the face for disrespecting Sasuke, Sakura fought tooth and nail against Sasori to get more info on Orochimaru, Naruto let Kurama take over to get back at Orochimaru for manipulating Sasuke

What has Sarada done to really 'ride or die' for Boruto? buy a similar jacket to his? yell at ppl you know cant help but not believe you because their literally under the influence of a massive shinjutsu? what a joke.

'Sarada wore a Boruto style jacket as a fk you to omnipotence' and nobody moved lol like seriously nobody moved so who was the middle finger to? who cared? nobody, omnipotence is still in full effect, nobody believes her or cares about her ramblings, Ada doesn't care, and Kawaki is so unfazed he doesn't even bother trying to stop her from running her mouth because she is THAT irrelevant, so who exactly is the fk you for? herself? shes the only one who gives a danm so like...ppl treatin that like its some huge badass character moment for her are laughable because unlike Naruto and Sakura who did have an impact, Sarada has had absolutely zero.

And its equally disrespectful to all the other ships they compare them too as well for equally shallow reasons, just because they might have similar moments on the surface doesnt mean anything if the core meaning and sentiments behind said moments arent the same.

For example MinaKushi, exactly what do they have similar to BoruSara? what is Sarada's biggest insecurity she hated that Boruto complimented and made her love? what enemy ninja has kidnapped Sarada that Boruto was the only one who noticed and followed her and saved her from? since when was Sarada bullied for her appearance where Boruto was the only one who didnt and supported her dream?

THE IRONY is that while Minato actually supported Kushina's dream from the start while everyone else made fun of it, Boruto was the ONLY ONE who made fun of Sarada's dream and berated her for it, but their similar to MinaKushi lol

'But Kushina looked down on Minato too'

Kushina looked down on him because she thought he looked unreliable, Boruto looked down on Sarada because of his personal issues with his father being Hokage and he took it out on her who didn't deserve it and he never apologized for it either, they are not the same.

Like I said they only focus on surface level similarities, but not the actual core elements of the relationship and characters, they have NOTHING in common with MinaKushi on a deep meaningful level, even down to the spiral symbolism they claim is somehow a parallel for BoruSara is literally about Kushina and Mito about being jinchuriki and getting through it thanks to the love of their husbands, like…they really think Kishimoto had BoruSara in mind when he made that one shot, instead of ya know, just focusing on MinaKushi who the one shot was actually about.

Same way they try to claim NaruHina similarities for again, surface level reasons instead of the actual deeper meaning of their relationship.

Tell me where Sarada grew up in an abusive household where her father practically disowned her because she was weak? where was Sarada inspired by Boruto being a 'proud failure' and wanting to be like him? where was Boruto Sarada's inspiration for her nindo? where was Sarada breaking Boruto out of his insecurity for a big upcoming fight he thought he couldnt win which gave him the courage and motivation to give it his all? when has Boruto ever literally fought to avenge Sarada because he was so angry at how she was treated? when has Sarada fought a far stronger enemy despite his protest? [a single fireball distraction and just standing there after the fact is not fighting]

They have none of that stuff that actually mattered and added substance to their relationship, you know what they did have? Sarada just watching Boruto from afar as if that is an actual deep meaningful part of their relationship…the funny thing is even that isnt similar, the contexts are literally complete opposites

Hinata watched Naruto out of admiration and infatuation, Sarada watched Boruto out of jealousy, and then later she was just watching him train with her dad hoping that he'd take Boruto on as his student since she knew it'd make him happy

Ironic right? the same guy who insulted her dream and berated her for it, Sarada was busy supporting him and wanting her dad to accept him as his student

You can tell these ppl dont understand or care about these ships their comparing them to fr fr, because if they did, they wouldnt be using only surface level similarities and not the actual deep core elements of the relationships.

you know where you CAN find ACTUAL similarities to other ships that DOES match the deep core elements of them? NaruSaku and SasuNaru.

Sarada was originally annoyed with Boruto at first [Just like Sakura and Sasuke] but after becoming teammates became alot closer like family, Sarada would watch Boruto pull pranks for his fathers attention in envy but despite being annoyed she also sympathized with him because she too had an absent father she craved attention from, Sasuke used to watch Naruto go around pulling pranks for attention too and despite thinking he was a moron he sympathized with him as well because they were both orphans and he understood his loneliness, Boruto and Sarada pretty much bicker with eachother the exact same way OG team 7 did, the only difference being the lack of drama now because theres no conflict with one of the teammates goin rogue and betraying them [Kawaki fills that role] but overall the sentiments is the same when it comes to those ships.

Sakura despite being annoyed with Naruto often she still worried for him alot and wanted to help him anyway she could and was frustrated with herself when she couldnt help him more, same way Sarada is frustrated with herself for not being able to help Boruto more, Sasuke resented Naruto for thinking he understood him when he had nothing from the start and has no idea what its like to have a family and then lose it, same way Sarada resented Boruto for his ignorance of being so blessed always complaining about his dad overworking when Sarada would kill to have what he did [Boruto had the perfect family then lost it when Naruto became Hokage and neglected them but still tried to be there for them, Sarada always had a dysfunctional family and absent dad that she only just got to finally know at 11, he did not understand her at all]

Regardless, they still sympathized because even though the situations were very different, they both understood the pain of missing their fathers, which is why she was still able to empathize with him despite being far worse off.

Hell the only OG ship with a heavy emphasis on a promise like BoruSara is NaruSaku, same for it being the only OG ship with an emotional surprise hug after an invasion where the FMC hugs the MC relieved to see he was ok while the other one sided love interest watches [whether ones smiling and the other not is irrelevant, its the overall context and execution of the scene that matters]

I made mini compilation here

Theres alot more but you get the picture, THESE are actual similarities that actually fits in depth with their relationships and not just surface level similarities, but actual CORE relationship elements.

This is why they hate being compared to NS and SNS because they know themselves that those are the ships they have actual similarities with, but neither of them are canon so obviously they dont wanna be associated with non canon ships cuz then that means they wont be canon either right? That's why it HAS to be SS, HAS to be NH, HAS to be MinaKushi, all canon ships that totally proves BoruSara will be endgame just like em.

They get away with everything and it's SO annoying.

Agreed, but as the biggest fanbase unfortunately they can get away with just about anything since they have way bigger numbers so the amount of ppl calling em out gets easily drowned out and made the one in the wrong instead.

Literally just saw them calling other haters/jealous lmfao, they're so easy to predict. Also you forgot to add how much they love to call everyone else delusional as if their ship is canon, like girlie none of them is canon, so for now everybody is delusional lol.

Ironic because nobody comes off more jealous than them, and they don't even have anything to be jealous about yet lol they literally have more than any other ship so why they sweatin? because they know it don't mean shit, it could easily be a red herring leading em on just for disappointment in the future, they act like they don't fear that possibility and that there's no way it'll happen again but deep down their scared to death because they know it is possible, they prove that by being so bothered and obsessed with much smaller ships ain't no way they should be concerned about UNLESS they felt there was genuine good reason for doing so, aka being threatened by said ships lol

The delusional thing is always funny to me because they'll go and make up a whole fanfic headcanon scenario for why their right, and then when you slap them with reality and canon facts that easily contradict their twisted fantasy version of events, they get mad and say your delusional or in denial and just jealous when...your literally just pointing out the canon facts that are in literal black and white for all to see, but to them the truth is delusion, and the lies they tell themselves are reality.

She literally revolves around him and ignores her own parents (that she separated) like hellooo?? Her idol, ChoCho her best friend?? Like come on guys. It's all about him, nothing about her and that's another thing that i dislike about them. I'm praying that Kawakis development will be good and that we'll see more deep/interesting conversations between him and Sarada.

Same, there is so much untapped potential between her and Kawaki its not even funny, they had some of the biggest wasted opportunities ever

Like Boruto's death was handled WAY too quickly, Sarada wasnt even given a chance to process it, she was told right in the heat of the moment of them fighting, then everything happened back to back afterwards so she didn't even get a chance to process THAT before she had to process 50 other things that happened all at one, that was such a missed opportunity for some real conflict that they only gave to Sumire who didn't even do anything with it and just looked scared of him every interaction afterwards, thats info that would've been far better utilized on Sarada

Just imagine after checking on Boruto, Sarada went to Kawaki's room and overheard them talking about what happened, she's shocked, she's confused, shes wondering why Boruto lied to her about what happened, why Naruto is ok with this, a lot of conflicting emotions running through her mind that she needs to process so she goes meet Mitsuki at the balcony where they are watching Boruto and her dad, Sarada considers telling Mitsuki what she heard but when Mitsuki tells her how he doesn't know what he might do to the person that tried to kill Boruto, Sarada withholds what she heard cuz she doesn't want to go after him, so Sarada internalizes and has to deal with these feelings on her own, on one hand she understands that this was what Boruto wanted to protect everyone, but on the other she cant bring herself to just be ok with Kawaki trying to kill him, however this situation brings up a new internal conflict she hadn't thought about before and thats what SHE would do if she were faced with a possessed Boruto in that kind of situation? would she be able to kill him if needed? does she have the resolve to do what needs to be done even if she doesn't want to? could she make that difficult decision like Kawaki did? even if thats what Boruto wanted? if he had asked her to, would she be able to honor his wishes? or would she be unable to and let Momo rampage

I could go on but I dont want this to be too long but you get the point, imagine we got THAT instead of all that rushed bs, imagine we got some actual reflection, some inner conflict, some internal struggles trying to figure out her resolve and if she'll be able to do what needs to be done as Hokage.

Imagine her and Kawaki had that talk when they were alone and she confronted him about it, Kawaki affirming his resolve to her that he will do anything to protect Naruto, even killing his own brother, and then the question is passed on to Sarada for what her resolve is, but she has no answer at the moment, all she knows is that she too wants to protect Naruto but she wants to protect Boruto too and doesn't want him to die, but Kawaki tells her there may be a time when she has no choice in the matter and will have to make up her mind soon, then in 78 shes forced to make that decision on just how far shes willing to go for her beliefs, can she kill Boruto if he's a threat? can she kill Kawaki if he's threatening Boruto? she gets there and its time to make a decision, Kawaki once again affirms his resolve by even being willing to kill her if she got in his way of doing what he genuinely believed is right, but Sarada is still unsure of herself, unable to let Boruto die even if he's a threat to everyone, but unwilling to kill Kawaki either even when he's threatening her life, because, despite his rude attitude a lot of the time, she still came to view Kawaki as a friend and teammate and THATS why she hesitates.

Now imagine, shocker, that she actually feels REMORSE for costing Boruto his eye, I know crazy right? you would think that'd have happened IN CANON but oddly it did not, she hasn't been shown feeling even the slightest bit of guilt for costing him his eye that day which is crazy to me, but unsurprising because she didn't even feel the slightest big of remorse for her dad being treefied because SHE sent him off to protect Boruto.

RIP the empathetic caring Sarada who actually gave a danm in 28, 36, and 39 you will be missed.

Having Sarada go there acting all sure of herself but not backing it up did such irreparable damage to her character, whereas in the scenario I just laid out or anything similar to that actually adds depth and valid reasoning for why she'd freeze up there, vs talking a big game like she was about that life only to freeze as soon as shit got real, it was such a stupid writing decision to do that, yes even worse than both of Sakura's failed kill attempts on Sasuke because at least we actually saw the internal conflict she was going through that made her hesitate, we got none of that for Sarada, she just said she couldn't stand by and do nothing....only to stand by and do nothing.

Pure goofiness.

So I really am hoping, by some miracle, the upcoming Kawaki development will lead to some for Sarada as well, but considering Boruto is being brought to the village now I doubt we'll be seeing that anytime soon and she'll continue hyperfixating on HIM and how HES treated until he somehow gets free.

And even then once he's free and out of the village, I hope her 'development' wont be just more bitching at everybody and calling Kawaki Otsutsuki too some more cuz my god, can the girl have any other personality traits besides 'bitter at everyone whos mean/doesnt like Boruto' ? I don't think thats too much to ask. Can she also actually act like she has other friends besides Sumire? can we really not let her be SO BORUTO CENTRIC that she avoids all her other friends/family, even her long time bestie Chocho, over a fkin boy? is this not THE SAME SHIT ppl got on Sakura for doing to Ino? choosing a boy over their friendship? wheres that energy now huh? just again goes to show where the priorities REALLY were all along.

This is a main reason I dont like the ship, because no other Sarada ship is she written THIS poorly for, when its her and Mitsuki their equals and Mitsuki gives just as much to her as she does for him, when its her and Kawaki they are also equals, Kawaki never looks down at her as defenseless or weak, he knows she's strong and capable of fending for herself and allows her to do so, its only BORUTO that intervenes and acts like she's helpless, HES the one who doesn't view her as an equal, but a helpless damsel that needs him to fight all her battles for her, even one about her own fkin father HE takes on the role of freeing him, best believe Sarada will have nothing to do with it, its gonna be all Boruto for her to have the big 'thank you' later and relieve Borutos guilt by returning her father to her, it sounds sweet in concept, but the execution is terrible and makes Sarada useless in her own plot, just like shes already useless in the plot in general besides being unaffected she has done literally nothing of substance with that immunity.

When shes with Boruto he will always take center stage, it'll never be an equal partnership with equal treatment, Sarada has given her ALL to Boruto yet Boruto hasn't even given half of that, the only time Sarada is a thought for him is as an extension of Sasuke, him thanking her before he left? because she sent Sasuke, his promise? because his dream is to be the supporting shadow like Sasuke who supports the Hokage and thus Sarada since she plans to be Hokage [put anyone else in that role and he'd do the exact same thing] , his new promise? to save Sasuke, him coming back to Konoha? to tell her what happened to Sasuke, him coming back again? because his sister was being targeted and then Sarada was being targeted by the Sasuke clone and he took the opportunity to kill him to get the thorn soul bulb that'll help free Sasuke

But when he was about to be killed by Kawaki? he only thought of his mom and sister, when Mitsuki guilt tripped him about breaking his promise, it was only the mention of his mother and sister that got him to change his mind, the only one Boruto has told Naruto is alive to was Mitsuki, not Sarada despite knowing thats her idol, he never made any attempts to contact Sarada in the entire 3 yrs despite clearly having the village bugged with frogs he can teleport to easily , hell he could even just leave letters with the frogs to deliver them to her, ya know, the sorta thing ppl got on Sasuke's case for not doing and now here Boruto is doing the same thing but nobody says anything about it.

Again I dont want this to get too long so Ima cut it here but I think I made my points clear enough at least to get why this ship is so ass and its shippers are so fake as hell shipping it. They can delude themselves that their the 'healthy' and 'not deluded' ones but they are, always have been, their just even worse now because they've lied to themselves for so long they actually believe it, and that is truly sad.

They should block, silence and report them and enjoy KawaSara week in peace, i hope that they won't let BS fans stop them from enjoying it!! Sorry i wrote a lot too lmfaoo.

No no its fine, I wrote alot too lol I'll be surprised if you or anyone else reads all of it 😭 but if you do thank you.

And I hope so too, their not worth letting them ruin their week, and the best get back is to just go on enjoying our week unbothered and ignore them cuz they want attention to distract from us actually focusing on celebrating KawaSara to fight with them, DONT DO IT, don't fall into the trap, just focus on KawaSara and ONLY them, antis will get bored eventually when they seen nobody is feeding into them.

[blackjack-15]

this 80s romcom lighting outside is hysterical oh my land

"wanna see the restaurant?"

"there are about 10 things in here that could kill you" 11, counting Syd

and among all this chaos he has one pertinent question:

"why didn't you call me?!" "i should have called you!"

this is going age like milk when syd sees who else is here!

syd was right last episode that carmy should have called her; carmy's right this episode that syd should have called him they're great at knowing they're a partnership. right now, they're not sure what that actually means, however, and it's causing massive friction, miscommunication, and stress

wow claire great time to introduce yourself there. like a bucket of cold water. she didn't really need to is the weird thing? nat was already talking to her, already greeted her? most people would have been like mm let me take a step back, maybe even come back later. but not claire! no she strides in like the elephant in the room and does a dance

oh ho. syd's face when claire says her name. that's a whole look

"this is my friend, claire" most honest he's been about this whole arrested development situationship

"sorry to interrupt, you all seem really busy" mm. no kidding.

"i'm sydney, it's really nice to meet you, i'm also sorry that you're here" SYD I LOVE YOU

she explains what she means and all but like. what a choice of dialogue, huh? and carmy's face. holy eff this is amazing

"interesting" oh richie. and nat's face when he says that -- the Wheels are Turning. direct comparison to his "ooooh" from last ep.

also i do love carmy's noticeably softer with Richie here. he knows richie really is just trying to help, and -- more than that -- knows that nothing else is gonna get done tonight

OH. INCHRESTING.

he tells everyone great job and to go home -- syd's rolled eyes here are a Pleasure -- and then when syd does that? carmy's reaction?

"what?" "i'm saying good night!"

very reminiscent of carmy's "what are you doing" when syd's quitting in S1E7. hmm i wonder why there's a bit of betrayal there.

this. this is beautiful. and he watches her go, too. beautiful direction, dialogue, etc etc

richie and nat are having similar problems to syd and richie last season. looking like we're gonna have a similar blow up. nat please keep the knives away from richie's ass, he's already a cheek down

the camera pan and hold on "carm/syd menu review" and then back to carmy and claire? i think that's the least subtle thing in the show, and we've seen richie's behavior + syd's temper almost literally bite him in the ass

"we're very fast" the subtlety is just...any more subtle and we'd have neon lights going. this is enjoyable because holy crap the telegraphing is Blatant

also this is some of the worst flirting i've ever seen. we're back to the total lack of chemistry and the two of them talking like 8th graders.

"i did that." "i know you did, and now you have to go" i'm still amazed that this is all text? none of this is implied? the writers are normally a little more subtle, so like...this is on purpose.

and the predictable kiss! you knew it was gonna happen, and they don't care. carmy going in with the same hand thing claire did earlier? either i can see the future or they're flashing the cliche, high-school nature of relationship with big flashing signs

and i can't see the future.

as a final note? i'm just gonna say. carmy is inexperienced, etc etc, yaddah yaddah. his actor on the other hand, is very much not. well done there sir.

[muniimyg]

the morning after // kth

pieces of peace; a series of therapy sessions

# 3 ! oc has broken up with taehyung and he struggles to understand the breakup

navi | m. list | ask me ! | no tag list 

paring:

sadboy taehyung + ex girlfriend oc

au/genre:

post-break up au / getting back together

healing, sulking, attempting to move on

angst angst angst

note: tbh this one has been in my drafts for literally MONTHS. i dunno what is even going on but i jus need it out lololol

There’s no point.

No point in anything these days.

No point in eating out because he was used to asking for a table for two and eating alone just looks so fucking sad.

No point in making coffee because he doesn’t even like it. Regardless of how many sweeteners he put in his cup, it always tastes too bitter. Too bland. Too anticlimactic. But he sipped every sip just to spend time with you in the morning. So no, Taehyung did not like coffee but he loved you. He learned how to make coffee for two, not for one. 

It hasn’t been long since you left.

It’s only been a month and a half but it feels like a lifetime without you by his side. You left and made his king-sized bed for one. He hasn’t slept alone in years. He doesn’t even remember what it feels like to sleep on the right side of the bed because that was your side.

It’s the same way he can’t recall what it’s like to have his heart to himself: it was yours. For so long, it had been yours to care for, to love, and to keep. 

But shit happens.

Things change. 

People change. 

You needed space and Taehyung had to give it to you. He had to empty parts of himself for you. It left him questing who he is without you.

Yeah.

Who is he without you? 

It’s something his friend would constantly ask one another whenever he arrived late to dinners in hoodies and a sad smile. No one could make him feel better even for a millisecond. You were by far the best thing to have ever happened to him and everyone knew that. 

Still, Taehyung’s friends tried. 

Tonight, they invited another pretty girl that looked to be Taehyung’s type. Again, they play the not-so-subtle game of “have you met Taehyung?” 

It makes him sick. 

How I Met Your Mother was your favourite show to play as background noise. Especially when you two were preparing dinners or making sleepy 8AM pancakes before heading to your parent’s home for Sunday family lunch. 

The girl looks a little too much like you. It pains Taehyung more than it attracts him. He feels stupid in front of his friends. He feels stupid for doing this to you because it wasn’t your face or your body. None of that compared to the way you held his heart and loved him the way you did. 

How you mastered comforting him on days he felt weaker than usual. 

How each kiss from you felt better than the last. 

How complete his life felt sitting next to you, watching the raspberry lemonade sky fade into a starry night.

How you completed him.

It’s only been a month and half but he still misses mornings with you. The stupid mid-day texts you’d send because a mug, a random YouTube video, or a picture of a cute dog popped up and reminded you of him. It was everything mundane that had him enchanted by you. 

He misses you. 

From slow and giggly sex, spontaneous convince store trips at 2AM, and even quiet dinners after an argument—he wants nothing more than those moments back. He wants nothing more than for you to come back and just be his again.

It aches.

Every part of his day aches as he’s all alone. Who's by your side? Is it that guy from your workplace that couldn’t get the hint? Is it your best girlfriends that never really liked him in the first place? Or are you by yourself too?

The only thing Taehyung doesn’t miss about you is the way you made him feel the morning after.

When he woke up groggy, eyes puffy from crying, and worst of all: hopeful. He has never wanted to wake up from a nightmare this bad before. It was that morning when he brewed coffee for two, ate out for dinner, and asked for a table for two, and found himself dragging his feet with his head hanging low on his walk home all alone. 

It takes so much of him to fix these habits. 

Brew coffee for one, not two. 

Table for one, not two. 

Live for himself, not you. 

It felt silly. The whole break-up and the ache wrapped around it like a bow. There was no point in feeling that kind of devastation, right? Taehyung knows he’ll get over it. Though it may be hard and nearly impossible, he will one day get over you. 

But not today. 

Not the morning after, not the week after, not months after.. He’ll continue to hurt until you come back to him and heal him or he goes numb from all this fucking bullshit. 

Taehyung has never felt more alone in his life. 

Then, his phone buzzes.

Jimin [3:29AM]: We’ll stop setting U up on dates if U want. We can come over and make sure U’re eating right if U want

Taehyung [3:32AM]: Nah

Jimin [3:37AM]: … Or idk talk to her? Talk to a therapist or smt. Idk. This isn’t U. Feels like we’ve been losing U lately. Don’t break up with us.

Taehyung [3:41AM]: Lol

Taehyung sighs, not bothering to keep this conversation going. It’s all the same. It’s the same pity and the same self-help suggestions. It all burned slowly and made him feel crazy. He wasn’t crazy because, in the darkness of his bedroom, he thinks to himself: this helps. 

Talking, acknowledging, and letting myself feel everything right now by himself.. Helps. For now, this will suffice. Being here for himself helps. This is therapeutic.  

Besides, he doesn’t have the energy to go to a therapist and force himself to open up. Maybe he should go there when he knows his feelings a little better himself.. Yeah. That’s more like it.

It’s like this: if he knows he feels alone, what was the point of trying to fill that void when it’s yours to fill? You are only his to love and that defeats him entirely. He doesn’t want to call or text you because he wants you to do that on your own. 

There was no point in begging or trying to fix himself. Why couldn’t he just be broken in peace? Be aimless and call it healing. Taehyung doesn’t want direction right now. He didn’t want there to be a point or to even think of love. The questions were endless, but the answer had been prefixed from the very beginning. 

Then, his phone buzzes. He expects it to be Jimin.

YN [4:01AM]: Hey

YN [4:01AM]: U up?

Taehyung [4:03AM]: Hi

YN [4:03AM]: Can we talk?

Taehyung [4:04AM]: Idk. About what?

YN [4:04AM]: Us? The morning after? Anything

Taehyung [4:07AM]: Come over. I’ll make us some coffee

YN [4:08AM]: But you don’t like coffee

Taehyung [4:08AM]: I still drank it every morning with U. Also, Idk how to brew coffee for one so just come over. We’ll figure it out

YN [4:09AM]: Okay. Let’s figure it out

Taehyung [4:09AM]: Good

Taehyung [4:12AM]: I miss you

YN [4:13AM]: I miss you too

Taehyung smiles at his phone. He gets up and goes to his kitchen to begin brewing coffee for two. He isn’t sure what this means or what is to come.. But he has a feeling there’s a point to all of this—that the morning after would be a new beginning. 

After all, what was the point of love if it wasn’t going to be you?