#worst family correct quotes

[melkyt]

Lawlu as parents mmm, (mpreg Luffy vibes)

Luffy doesn't have any father figures in his early life, not even sure what dads do with a kid that is not dump on some island and ditch.

Shanks and his five seconds of fame that Luffy mentions every chance he gets dont count in this scenario, I love Shanks as a dad content, but his track record is spotty xd

Law as a Father is conflicted, scared, and happy at the same time. He had a loving biofather who treated them with kindness and still thinks that Cora made a great guardian despite their rough start together. So he tries to follow their example, so he would never leave his child, though he looks at how Luffy was raised and decides that he will be solely responsible for their kid.

Thats okay, he has a space on the polar tang for when it arrives, decorating with sunflowers and hearts so atleast the kiddo knows the symbols of both their parents, even if they never get the chance to meet Luffy for long.

The relationship Law and Luffy have in Law's eyes is just some fun and a distraction when they both needed it most. So they ended up with a kid in the process, its fine. Law gets used to repeating its fine through the entire process of getting things ready for the child to be part of his life.

Then they arrive, a little ball of shine that resembles them both with bright pale eyes and a brighter smile.

Law is completely taken by their baby. He will spoil them and give them world!

Luffy does that stare of his when he is serious about something, an unwavering determination focused on the kid. It unnerves Law a little as they usually share everything, and he understand what Luffy is thinking better than he did when they met, but sometimes its hard to read Luffy's focused expressions. Especially now,

Law decides its best not to ask, he doesnt want to hear that Luffy thinks they should leave the child behind for its own sake. Worry gnawing at his mind, that he will have to do something drastic to keep the baby and that it will break the relationship he built with Luffy and the strawhats

The baby has to stay on the Sunny for a few weeks, and Law decides to stay there as well. He is determined not to leave the kid. Every waking moment he is carrying the baby arround, washing, feeding, anything he can do while Luffy recovers.

Running himself ragged in the process. He wants to be the best parent ever, and sleep or food doesn't factor into the equation when Law gets hyperfocused. He is a mess. Coming into the nursery on the Sunny with a yawn, just to look at their baby.

Luffy stops him before Law can go to pick them. Instead, forcing Law to take his bed in the room next door.

Law out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow. When he wakes up, Luffy and the baby are gone. His mind immediately jumps to the worst-case scenario. They are both pirates, and a ship is no place for a baby. That's something Luffy said before, quoting Shanks. So Law is worried he didn't even get to say goodbye.

Law is not bothering to grab his hat, his sword, or even to put on shoes, slipping on the wood. He hears Luffy laughs and runs into the kitchen of the Sunny.

Much ot his relief and surprise, the baby is still there. Luffy is wearing one of those baby slings that let him move around hands free, chattering to the kid about what food Sanji is making, getting everything wrong, much to Sanji's annoyance, as he corrects his captain, determined that the baby knows for sure that cooking is an art!

Law pulling Luffy into a hug, something he only does when nobody is watching. Yet now he doesnt care because they are still there. Luffy chuckles and hugs him back. "Duh, we're still here Traffy" He ruffles Law's hair, the baby giggles where it is pressed between them.

Law after that mini panic at losing family once again, decides to talk to Luffy and what they are doing. That he is prepared fo take care of the kid on the polar tang and while its Luffy's choice in the end and not his, he would rather have the kid in his life then leave it on some island whete it might be safe. Might not have people after it just for being born, but Law would rather be able to protect their kid all on his own.

Luffy pouts, "Who said you gotta do things alone, Traffy?" Luffy holds their kid closer. He tells Law about how even though he dont care about it anymore, he remembers how he felt about being tossed out all the time as a kid and that it hurt not having a place to belong.

He remembers how much Ace hated his dad for leaving him with old man Garp. How Uta felt when Shanks left her.

Luffy aint gonna do that. The kid stays and they are gonna raise it with their crews, with their families and make sure it knowz that its loved!

Law smiles with a soft expression, tension leaving his body. They will have to deal with a lot of danger and shenanigans to protect their child in the future, but at least they will do it together.

[celaenaeiln]

Batman Issue #137 is fantastic

It's written so well it feels like a literary masterpiece, and I'm truly in awe of how well it's done. The parallelism, the character development and deterioration, the logic, the emotion, the art-all of it is spectacularly written. Like the people who wrote this issue must be some kind of geniuses to condens nearly a century of dc comic writing to come up with this. I highly, highly suggest everyone go read it because this is the most accurate representation of the members to date.

I know what I said is a contentious opinion but I think we need to step back from the issue and evaluate it from a "who is batman" perspective.

Batman at his core is a selfish human being. He created the identity because he wanted vengeance for the murder of his family, not because he particularly wanted to save the world. It's this desire that led him into a world of crime fighting because he refused to be the same as the person holding the gun.

Batman 137 is the peak depiction of Batman as an uncontrollable force of nature and what I love about this comic is they nailed him to a T. The batfamily's perception of Bruce are so accurate.

Dick and Barbara are exactly on the dot. He is out of control but also he's doing this to be in control.

Canonically, Bruce has a god complex.

And I know I shouldn't quote wiki but I like the way they worded their response:

"A god complex is an unshakable belief characterized by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. The person is also highly dogmatic in their views, meaning the person speaks of their personal opinions as though they were unquestionably correct."

That is the core of who Bruce is.

Every action Bruce takes, he believes it is the best action. He is confident in his ability and he ensures his successes through planning and training. I believe in Dick and Barbara's points combined-Bruce is going out of control in order to be in control. He feels what he has done is not enough and thus is doing everything he can to correct that issue. To him, his personal opinions are unquestionably correct because he has analyzed every possible route to proceed in and has come to the one he believes is best.

This man was never meant to be a lovely family man which is precisely why Robin is so important to batman. Him hugging his kids, saying he's sorry, praising them-that's him on his very best days where everything is going his way. It's him on days where he's reaching into the past. It's him on days where he's tired and broken done. But that's not who he is at his worst.

And this issue is the downward cascade of his mental state.

At his worst, Bruce is the type of person who beats his kids for not following his rules:

He beats them for not obeying his orders:

He punishes them by endangering their loved ones:

He hurts them for not follow his rules and purposefully sets up tasks for them to fail for the purpose of them failing:

But

But even though he's done horrible things, he's not a bad person. he does it because he believes he's working in the city's best interest. And Jason understands this so well.

The reason why Selina calls Jason Batman's biggest failure is not because he's actually a failure but because he's the clearest proof of everything wrong with Bruce's God Complex.

Where Jason sees leniency, Bruce sees fault.

That's what makes their relationship so amazing. Bruce and Jason will never see eye to eye because their fundamental beliefs are different. It's a teetering relationship because they love each other but they can never accept each other and that delicate balance makes them so exciting (yeah sorry I love fcked up relationships).

Tim is on the fence

Before I can explain Tim's interaction, I need to drop Dick's, Cass's, Stephanie's and Duke's too

Okay back to Tim. Notice the extent of Bruce's reaction to each of the batfamily's views. Jason's view is the farthest from Bruce's and as a result he received the harshest punishment. Tim's view is grey and in response, Bruce's answer was grey too - a warning but not a damnation. Dick, Cass, Stephanie, and Duke's view on the issue was silence. They express no stand on the Selina vs Bruce's debate of criminals and as a result they receive an answer fitting of that.

The writers characterized each member of the family so, so, SO well. Everyone's perspective and character was on point and it didn't degrade any of their abilities, strengths, emotions, beliefs, or anything.

Furthermore, the family stands as one.

Dick checks in on Jason's mental health and makes sure he's feeling okay. Tim stops Bruce from killing Jason or hurting him too badly. The rest of the family shows up in time to protect the both of them and each other. Jason and Dick work together to bring Bruce down. When all of them talk on the batfamily channel, everyone gets an equal chance to speak including Steph. Which is a rarity.

The family dynamic is accurate.

Tim would look to Dick as the defacto leader for answers when Bruce is gone just like he did in every single other comic.

Damian would 100000% punch Jason in the face. He electrocuted him before, tried to kick him out, and attacked him before- he's not suddenly going to have reservations now.

Jason and Selina would absolutely work together the most and best because of their shared values and understanding of Gotham.

No one in this issue is irrational or out of character. Everything is so exact about this comic I'm over the moon by it! Sure it's not a "let's hug it out, guys!" issue but when has that ever made it bad? It's exciting, fun, meaningful, and logical and I love Bruce Wayne so incredibly much for it. I love the way he thinks, the way he acts, and what he believes.

If I were to characterize in a nutshell, I'd say issues 136 and 137 are all you need. The authors who created this - so much praise to them. They've capture each character as well as the family dynamic perfectly.

I can't speak much of Damian's intentions and behavior as of now because he's just entered the scene but I'm excitedly looking forward to the next issue.

[gilverrwrites]

Harbinger

Godstiel/Reader, ≈600 words

AN: I've had a few requests for more Castiel/Reader, and this is probably not what youse had in mind, but I recently watched season 7 and, well, I had to write this.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, you'd never doubted Castiel and his intentions. Until now. Rating: 18+

CWs: Religious themes, bible quotes, dub-con, self-hate.

Please remember: Self love isn't selfish.

“It is I, be not afraid.”

“Cas?”

When Castiel had approached you, requesting to touch your soul, asking you to put your life on the line to help him fight an angelic war you had no part in, you’d complied, without hesitation. He had saved you countless times, rebelled when it would have benefited him not to. He was one of the good ones. Even as you’d laid beneath him, vulnerable, and in the worst pain imaginable, you’d thought; it was the least you could do.  

When Bobby and the boys had begun to doubt his intentions, his motives, when they’d begun to suspect he was working with Crowley, you’d defended him. Perhaps those things were true, but he’d given you enough titbits to believe his intentions were good, that he would prevail. If he loses the war, who knows what repercussions might befall you, your friends, your family, all of humanity. You were sure his motives were just.

When you’d seen the massacres in the papers, and on the news, your dedication still didn’t falter. Sure, those people were not the creatures you’d become accustomed to killing, but what were racists, homophobes, and corrupt politicians, if not monsters by another name?

But now, as he stood before you, red and decaying; malformed, your faith wavered. If the power he held was truly meant for good, why was it destroying him?

“I am the Lord, your God.” He corrects you. His voice is as cold and unfeeling as it had been the day you met. All the warmth and curiosity he’d developed, the traits you’d come to appreciate and associate with him were gone. You’d helped him win the war, but at what cost? “Bow down and profess your love unto me.”

Despite your doubts, you fall to your knees. If he could execute offices, churches, and towns full of people with the click of a finger, what could he do to you? Unable to look at the rot on his skin, unsure if a mortal such as yourself should, you fix your gaze on his shoes as they drag along the carpet until he stands before you.

“I sense your uncertainty.” He places a hand on your forehead, it is clammy and damp, entirely unpleasant, yet it still sends a thrill through your body, sparking conflict between the fearful pit in your stomach and the salacious heat growing between your legs. “But I know that your love for me will control you. Your devotion has proved this thus far.”

Your heart pounds as he trails a single finger down the centre of your face, ghosting past your nose, before pressing to your lips, ensuring your silence as he continues.

“Free me.”

A spark of hope thrums through your body, without thinking you look to his face, hoping to see the face of your friend looking back, one who has come to you for help, for freedom from power that is clearly corroding him from the inside out. Instead, you are greeted by a being high on their own might. A smile that is enjoying your obedience, eyes that watch you with idle lust, and you know the true intent of his command.

Hope vanquished, you let your head fall once more, but Castiel catches you with the same finger he had pressed to your lips, aligning your face with his crotch. Free him.

You’d enabled this to happen, the harbinger of mutual destruction.

Clearly still sensing your dismay, seeing how your hands shake as you reach for him, he whispers what he likely thinks is solace, provocation.

“Your most important identity is not by your name, but you being loved by me.”

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[sflow-er]

Some thoughts on the Fleabag parallel

Lately, I've been thinking about how the Fleabag parallel with Sargust actually runs deeper than the famous line, and how these deeper connections contextualise Sara and August's relationship and goodbye.

[Disclaimer: I am heavily drawing on a Fleabag analysis by Aaron Bady, because while I love the show and just rewatched it last year, I have never engaged in the fandom or tried to analyse the story in depth. I welcome any additions, corrections or sidebars in the replies/reblogs!]

So in this parallel, August is Fleabag. Sara is the Priest.

In S1 of Fleabag, the titular character is stuck in a cycle of self-destructive behaviour. As we eventually find out, she is plagued by guilt; she has betrayed her best friend and indirectly caused her death, which has left her grieving and unable to obtain closure or forgiveness. She is also in deep financial trouble, emotionally closed off, and at least partly estranged from her family, who have learned to expect the worst of her. Despite some warmer moments, both her dad and her sister choose their awful romantic partners over her. She even contemplates suicide at the end but is saved by someone with whom she shared a misery bonding moment in an earlier episode (and who also gives her an economic lifeline).

In S2, Fleabag is no longer acutely spiralling. She has turned her business around, turned non-confrontational with her family, and even quit some of the self-destructive behaviour (most notably her compulsive tendency to seek validation in sex). However, this is not true self-improvement. She has resigned herself to her family's judgment and the idea that she is utterly irredeemable and unlovable, but decided to live on regardless.

Enter the Priest, who is unlike anyone Fleabag knows. He is candid and blunt (as opposed to her family who keep up appearances), charismatic, fascinating and empathetic. He persistently chips away at her emotional walls, tries to help her, and insists that she is worthy of love. He also admits that there are things and relationships in his pre-canon past that he isn't proud of, so they have something in common there.

As this block quote from the analysis linked above demonstrates, he also has something she lacks:

What's more, a priest can offer her something that a world where everything is allowed — and where nothing can therefore be wrong — cannot. How can a person find help when therapists — as her disastrous counseling session demonstrates — can only tell you that whatever you've already decided to do is what you will do? How can they help you when that inevitability has led you to do the wrong things? What she wants, it turns out, is not to "f*** a priest" but to be told what to do. Having lost all confidence in her own judgment, her own instincts, and her own feelings — having decided that what she needs is for someone else to take over decision-making for her life — she is increasingly fascinated by this man of the cloth who seems to be exactly what she wants to be: a funny, profane train-wreck, wearing great dresses, who lives a mortified and celibate life of subjection [--] This instinct is wrong, it turns out, because it's still the instinct to give up on herself. 

Let's stop there for a moment and return to Sargust. The details and timelines differ, but tell me I'm not the only one who sees multiple levels of this parallel.

August is also in deep financial trouble, emotionally closed off, self-harming, and estranged from his family in S1. He too does something terrible to someone who trusted him. He hasn't quite resigned himself to Wilhelm's judgment yet by the time Sara first approaches him, but he does feel unlovable and irredeemable, and he is still flailing internally in the relative calm at the start of S2.

I would even go so far as to say that August too lives in a world where everything is seemingly allowed. He famously tells Wille that people like them can get away with murder, and he makes it pretty clear that elite loyalty is the only moral code he knows. Even in S3, he tells Boris it's hard to motivate himself to be good when he knows it won't be rewarded with forgiveness.

As for Sara, she too is blunt, fascinating, empathetic, and a total contradiction to the people around August. She too allows August to be vulnerable, accepts him at his worst, and tries to help him. She both reminds him of himself (especially due to similarities in their past, but also some surprising compatibilities in their present) and possesses something he lacks.

Sara has a moral compass trained on the real, non-elite world where bad actions have consequences. She urges August to do the right thing and come clean about the video, and while he doesn't actually promise to do so, he doesn't fully decide against it either (until later when the crown is dangled in front of him). In the meantime, he actually seeks validation and some semblance of redemption from her.

It's her assurance that he isn't the worst person in the world that prefaces their first sexual encounter.

You could even say this scene and all their S2 scenes leading up to it hit an emotional beat that's somewhat similar to the confession scene in Fleabag - the moment where she finally breaks down, confesses how adrift she feels, and begs the Priest to just tell her what to do. This is the step that leads to their first, very heated kiss.

One area where the storylines differ concerns August and Fleabag's expectations for the secret/forbidden relationship, but I would argue that the way their expectations are thwarted feels somewhat similar again.

Fleabag expects her infatuation with the Priest to remain purely sexual and emotionally detached, and for the Priest to reject her. This would prove yet again that she is as unlovable as she feels, and it would also take the decision out of her hands. Instead, she opens up her heart and dares to hope for him to reciprocate - which he does. They even sleep together, despite the obvious risks to his life in the church that has given him peace from the regrets in his past.

As the analysis linked above argues, it's just as significant that the risks never materialise:

[S]he fell for a priest because the idea of him seemed like the promise of sexual rejection and the annulment of her freedom; instead, he gave himself to her, accepted her choice, and allows her to turn his life upside down. Except that... he's fine. Having sex doesn't ruin his life, it turns out, just as it hasn't ruined hers. In fact, the revelation is that sex has changed nothing, which might be Waller-Bridge's most radically hopeful suggestion: after their trainwreck of a relationship, the Hot Priest goes back to the church, and she goes back to loving her family and being loved by them. No mistake you can make can change what matters; whatever you've done, it will pass.

Over the season, Fleabag has grown closer to her sister and encouraged her to leave her husband, and she's also had some bonding moments with their father. As she walks away from the camera after the "it'll pass" scene, she is holding a gold statue that represents her late mother and her familial relationships in general. The implication is that the love and acceptance she gained from her relationship with the Priest - which is not negated by him choosing his conviction and current life at the end - will carry over.

As for August, he initially expects his relationship with Sara to be a pretty simple transaction. He gets her into Manor House, she keeps his secret about the video, they seal the deal with a makeout session.

After she starts actively pursuing him in S2 at the risk of ruining her relationships to Simon and Felice, his expectations shift in a naïvely romantic direction. Being a teenager in love, he thinks they have now chosen each other and will stay together forever. He will take care of her and give her anything she wants; she will stand by him and help him be a better version of himself that he doesn't know how to be on his own. Eventually, he also projects his dream of being king and queen on her (which is a critical misconception on his part).

Between S2 and S3, he is angry with her for making the police report, but he eventually decides that he deserved it for betraying her first. This is still a pretty transactional view of relationships and an example of skewed morals, and he doesn't quite manage to dismantle those by the end of canon. He understands that he let Sara down, but he doesn't seem to have fully internalised their different perceptions of right, wrong and accountability for one's mistakes, and he still believes she will take him back in exchange for him baring the rest of his soul to her. He loves and misses her, but he is still struggling to truly see her, just as she says in the final scene.

Even so, August has already started to apply the lessons he learned from their relationship to other areas of his life. He is starting to rediscover his sensitive and vulnerable sides and show them to other people in his life, which will improve his other relationships going forward. He is also starting to question some of the harmful structures and behaviours that he has perpetrated and upheld and/or been subjected to. He still has a long way to go, but he does manage to sincerely apologise to Wilhelm at the end, which allows them to get some closure.

(If the director is to be believed, he will also apologise to Simon, although this wasn't really communicated in the show.)

To wrap this up, I want to emphasise that while both Fleabag and August primarily fall for what the Priest and Sara represent, that doesn't mean they don't also love what they know of the real person. Their feelings are real, and so is their hurt over the final rejection. Likewise, the Priest and Sara choosing themselves and their other "great loves" instead of this romance doesn't make their feelings any lesser or easier to get over. "It will pass" is not a total renouncement of the relationship. It's an acknowledgement of shared pain and reassurance of the good things - such as the ability to grow from and move past your mistakes and to give and receive love - outlasting it.

Also, the Fleabag scene doesn't end there, and with how clear the parallel is, I always figured this was implied in the YR scene as well.

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Aftermath | Chapter 11 | Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Female OC | E.M x Karmen Jones

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 Chapter 15.

Chapter Summary: The worst nurse on the ward makes a decision for Eddie that he isn't comfortable with. Karmen thinks about her family and then her compatibility with Eddie while giving up a Saturday morning sleep-in.

Story Summary: Eddie wakes up in the Upside Down after 'dying' in Dustin's arms. He wakes up again in the hospital and is reunited with his loved ones. This story covers Eddie's time in the hospital and overall physical recovery after the Upside Down.

This fic is part of the She Feels Like Home series. It sits between Boxing Day and Drop Out.

Chapter Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort , Fluff, ASL, (American Sign Language), ASD !Eddie, Autistic Eddie, Non-verbal Eddie, , Healing, Getting Better, Season 4 Spoilers, Found Family, Family Acceptance, Lore Drop, Mentions of kinks, Specifically Mommy!Dom Kink, Mentions of past relationship trauma/cheating/trust issues, patient abuse, medical abuse, talk of murder, past child abuse, mental health issues, panic attacks, suicidal ideation.

Words: 8k

~~

People don’t forget. Nothing gets forgiven.

Eddie remembered someone saying that once. He couldn’t remember who, just that it had resonated with him in an unexpected way.

The quote had burrowed itself into his subconscious and sprung forth again after Chrissy’s death. When he was hiding alone at Rick’s place before the Gang found him. Before he knew about The Upside Down and Vecna. It had become a mantra in his mind. A repeating phrase that promised him no hope.

After defeating the mysterious Dark Wizard, when his life was saved and his name was cleared. He thought that the words would stop swirling in his head and finally let him rest. That things would feel normal again and he could believe if only for a little while that even if people didn’t forget, that they would forgive.

But deep down Eddie knew better than that. That whatever wise man had spoken that truth to him was correct and he was fucked, plain and simple. 

People wouldn’t forget what he ‘did’ and they wouldn’t forgive him for it either. If his treatment from the staff at Hawkins Memorial Hospital was any indication of how Eddie was to live the rest of his life interacting with other people. The general public. Then he wasn’t really sure he wanted to get better and go home.

He hated the staff that worked whatever floor of the Godforsaken place he’d landed his sorry ass on. They were cold, rude and most of the time just downright nasty.

He’d gotten to know most of the nurses names by now. Recognizing them as they entered his room and gauging how his day was going to be based on the quality of care he could expect from the person that was assigned to him.

They were all terrible he’d decided before he had conversed with Nurse Jo. She had changed his mind about hoping that the whole ward burned down with all of the staff inside. 

He’d let her leave with the other patients before he lit his match.

But the others could all go to hell. He ranked them in his mind from awful to atrocious and changed their places weekly based on how horrible they’d been to him.

But there was one person on the leaderboard whose place had never wavered. The top spot for number one most hated Nurse in all of Hawkins, went to Sally.

Nurse Sally had a special place in his heart. 

The place he liked to keep every person that had ever wronged him in his young life. A place akin to hell where he could use them to warm his chest at the thought of them burning alive.

If being recently dismissed of a murder charge wasn’t a memory he had to sober him, he sincerely worried that Nurse Sally would finally push him over the edge.

He’d never met another person in his life that induced such a rage in him with as few words as Nurse Sally was able to.

She wasn’t even trying.

He didn’t think.

She was just… Like that.

The raggedy old bitch was only in her 60s according to intel he’d acquired while partaking in his new favorite pastime. Which was honestly just eavesdropping but he liked it better when he pretended he was watching the Hawkins spinoff of General Hospital.

Eddie had a hunch that Nurse Sally had lied on her resume and her formal medical training consisted of putting leeches on patients during the smallpox pandemic. 

She was a horrible woman. The meanest by far. He felt that he knew deep down in his soul that it wasn’t even personal. It didn’t matter who he was or what people had thought he’d done. She didn’t discriminate. She hated everyone equally. 

He wished he could have asked Steve about it when he’d visited. No doubt he had to deal with her as well, being on the same floor.

He could just tell she was the type of person that chastised new Mothers for not putting socks on their baby when it was 90 degrees out. The type that would watch a news story about the rise of rent prices and then call the generations after hers lazy. 

She definitely drove twenty miles an hour under the speed limit and then honked at people for overtaking her. 

He hated everything about her from the sting of the cold rings she refused to take off to the stench of cigarettes that followed her around. He usually loved a good cigarette but after not having them for a few weeks, the withdrawals were finally over. So if the rotten smell that brought on waves of nausea wasn’t enough to convince him that this woman was a Reptilian in disguise; The fact that her rings never warmed to what should be the natural temperature of her hands, would have him sure. 

He hated her more than he hated Maureen and Eustace from a few trailers over and they had always been at the top of his mortal enemies list, just above Principal Higgins and Karmen’s neighbor Margrette.

Yes a lot of his mortal enemies were elderly women but to his defense they tended to be the demographic that hated someone like him most. Older men hated him too but their hate tended to blossom into indifference and then they left him the fuck alone. It was the women like Sally that couldn’t keep their mouth shut about his appearance or the hobbies he held.

Despite all of the flaws Nurse Sally exhibited, the decidedly worst part of her existence was that she always worked the morning shift. He had never seen her after midday and while that should be a fact that brought him comfort once she was gone. He found it extremely unnerving in the middle of the night when his painkillers were starting to wear off and his body refused to rest, that there was a chance she would be the one to come stomping through the doorway in the morning when he was at his worst and really just needed someone to take pity on him. 

This particular morning she’d arrived twenty seven minutes later than usual to give him his cocktail of medicines. He understood the staff were busy and things didn’t always run smoothly in a hospital. But this was spiteful. It had been a quiet morning. 

She’d rolled her eyes at his un-finished breakfast while he struggled not to writhe in pain. It had taken all the strength he had not to flip the tray table over in response to her grumbles about the cereal he couldn’t stomach, going soggy. 

It would have only hurt him in the end. The strength he needed to do something so wild would drain what was left of his determination when she left him to rot in wet, milk blankets until shift change.

Instead he had closed his eyes and fantasized about running into her when he was finally free of this hellhole. 

Physically. 

With his car.

He wondered where she liked to take her lunch break while he shivered and gagged through the awful ordeal of swallowing his pills. Having finally graduated from morphine in the IV to oral medications.

He never thought he’d miss the icy feeling of medicine being injected directly into his bloodstream but not only did he now have to force himself to actually eat a little so he could swallow the tablets but he had to be awake and make the conscious decision to take them instead of the brief reprieves where they would inject into his IV while he slept.

He was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to do that. Probably were supposed to wake him every time but some of them just didn’t want to be forced to talk to him.

He wasn’t one to complain about going to sleep and then waking up again relatively pain free. He would have rathered it that way every time if he had the choice.

The oral medicine had nothing but drawbacks. It didn’t work anywhere near as fast and he wasn’t careful his stomach would reject them. The nurses refused to give anymore if he threw them up. He knew that technically they weren’t allowed to for safety reasons but he couldn’t help but feel that they took a little too much pleasure in reminding him of that fact.

He’d realized pretty quickly that it was important to take them as soon as he was able to have another dose. Because he would start to feel the pain again long before he was allowed to have more and if he pushed it back any further than the allotted 6 hours, there was a risk that not only would it become severe enough that it would feel like the medicine barely did anything but it would be bad enough to have him vomiting which rendered the oral medication useless anyway.

It was a horrible catch twenty two that repeated in cycles until he was lucky enough to accidentally stumble upon the combination of actions that would settle his belly and let him keep the medicine down despite the pain.

Usually the correct action was to have a few bites of food, swallow the pills as soon as he got them with as little water as possible and then lay incredibly still for several hours. Sleep if he could. But the staff was still insisting on doing his vitals every few hours and it had been long enough now that talk of Physical Therapy had started to amp up.

They wanted to get him walking again. They, being Owens men. Probably the hospital staff too but only so they could finally tell him to walk his ass out of there.

He wasn’t complaining about that part. He couldn’t wait to get out. But he was not looking forward to being yelled at by the Therapist for not walking far enough or long enough. Not trying hard enough. Despite his injuries being entirely unique to any other case they would have ever seen.

They didn’t know that and he couldn’t tell them.

He’d finished taking his pills, putting the little paper cup back down on the table hard like he’d just taken a shot. Water dripped from his lips as he took in several shaky breaths and pushed the tray away with an equally shaky hand.

He’d gotten them down. It was time to lie still now.

Except Nurse Sally had other plans for him. She’d been grunting at him for weeks now that he was an absolute mess. That even being in the hospital, not being able to walk and only having one thorough sponge bath in that timeframe was not an excuse to give up on one’s appearance.

Eddie wasn’t sure why she cared. She seemed like the type of pearl clutching witch to condemn him based on his fashion choices alone. He didn’t miss the irony that even if he did try to make an effort, she wouldn’t be happy with what he looked like. They had two entirely different ideas of what ‘presentable’ meant and only one of them was reasonable.

“-A matted rats nest!” 

Eddie tuned back into her ranting mid sentence and tried to figure out what she was on about as he slowly slipped back down the bed. Intending to slide under the covers and pretend like he was in a coffin until around lunchtime when the painkillers would actually start to kick in. About 45 minutes before he was due for another dose. 

He jolted away as he felt cool metal on his upper arm. Those damn rings just about giving him frostbite where she had tried to still him with her grasp.

He felt an overwhelming urge to hiss at her in response. Swat her over the head a couple of times, no claws and hope she was weirded out enough to not come back.

He didn’t.

But it was the closest he’d ever come to giving into that particular fantasy.

Instead he stared up at her with barely concealed fury. Paused in the middle of sliding down the mattress, his shaky arms barely holding himself up as she motioned for him to sit back up and snapped her fingers at him when he didn’t immediately move.

‘It’s just not in his nature.’

Wayne had told Nancy.

Good Lord Nurse Sally was starting to make him ponder if Wayne was wrong all along.

“I won’t have it for a second longer.” She continued, Eddie unsure what the hell she wasn’t having anymore as she practically yanked him back up the bed by the arm. 

She pulled a groan from deep in his stomach where his medication was still deciding if it wanted to play nice with the spoonful of cornflakes from earlier. 

She had some unexpected strength behind her wiry frame. Either that or Eddie had lost more of his bodyweight and muscle tone than he had realized while recovering. 

The bats alone were generous enough to relieve him of that extra 2 pounds people were always trying to lose in magazines. 

Eddie’s body protested as he shifted to get comfortable. He hadn’t wanted to sit up at all but had to, to take the pills. He’d learnt the hard way that he couldn’t dry swallow them lying down. 

His wounds didn’t ache all the time for no reason anymore like they used to. But they did randomly flare up now and again even when he hadn’t overexerted himself. It was a strange sensation unlike anything he’d ever felt before. Kind of half way between a burn and a sting. They throbbed like an ant bite but the pain was also sharp and pointy like a wasp sting. The difference was that it wasn’t focused on just one small point. It was the entire wound and the baseline of pain was consistent like a burn but amped up in waves depending on how he moved. 

When this happened it was like that for every wound at the same time. Even the ones that had started to heal really well. Even the small cuts on his hands and face that were all but gone. 

If he didn’t know any better he would think that all of them were still infected and he was feeling the effects of that. 

He couldn’t explain it to the doctors. All he could do was answer yes or no questions about pain levels that ranged on a number scale. He had no idea if this was normal or not for the type of wounds he had.

Even if it was normal, what was the ‘normal’ they were comparing it to? Burns like his cover story? Being mauled by an animal? Because they knew deep down these were bites and not anything else? 

Even if they knew exactly what happened to him that meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. They didn’t know anything about Demon bats from another dimension. It wasn’t like they had been extensively studied like every other animals on the planet.

For all he knew, their little fangs contained some sort of venom that would torture him for years to come like a stinging nettle.

Karmen had told him once about the colloquially known Gympie-Gympie plant from the state she grew up in. The most painful plant in the world. The kids were taught about it in early schooling because it left unsuspecting victims that accidentally touched it with a sting so painful it had driven grown men to suicide and it lasted weeks… Sometimes even months.

Was that what was happening to him?

It was a terrifying thought. That the pain might not actually ever go away. That he might be stuck like this for months… 

If not forever.

That he could potentially spend the rest of his life in sporadic agony with no one understanding why or believing that he was actually still in pain. Being labeled a drug addict and blacklisted from all hospitals as a med seeker.

The train of thought he was on made his throat feel like it was going to close up. His breath came short and sharp as he realized he had spiraled himself into a panic attack out of nothing.

“Calm down.” Sally directed flatly as Eddie’s chest heaved with the shallow breaths he was taking. His wide eyes watering as he looked around the room desperately to try and find something to ground himself. Anything else to think about to distract his brain and bring him back from thoughts of a lifetime of suffering.

“Ah!” He yelped in surprise as his head was jerked backwards. The shock of the motion forcing air out of his lungs with the cry and affording him the chance to take air back in without stuttering.

That’ll do it…

A long gasping breath was inhaled and held inside him for a long few seconds before he was struck again against the back of the head and it was forced out in a way that left his lungs completely empty.

He finally took a relatively normal breath. Tears in his eyes as he turned to look at Nurse Sally with fear clouding his brown orbs.

Did she just... h-hit me?

He asked himself, surprised by how fearful he sounded inside his own mind. His stutter was brought forth without even speaking. All thoughts of running her down in his van had vanished and suddenly he was again that scared little boy that had been struck over the head for not talking fast enough.

He was that kid, trapped in a room with an adult that didn’t care that he was afraid.

Tears spilled over and down his hot cheeks as he blinked at her. Realizing as he did so that she hadn’t been hitting him over the head to try and stop his panic attack.

She may as well have though, considering his body’s reaction to the touch he wasn’t ready for. It had triggered him in a way he hadn’t been expecting.

His eyes fell to the object in her hand. He looked between it and her frustrated face as his fear started to simmer down and was replaced with anger. The tears continued all the same as he glared at her with as much hatred as he could possibly muster in a vulnerable moment.

You fucking bitch.

~

Saturday morning was Karmen’s least favorite day of the week to wake up early. Every day it was a slog, no matter how she looked at it. But Saturdays used to be her reprieve. Friday nights were fun to look forward to even without plans and knowing she had nowhere to be in the morning was a kind of freedom she rarely chose to give up.

Which is why it was so damn hard to be walking through the hospital doors just after 9am on the one morning of the week she usually enjoyed.

She had afforded herself a little extra window of sleep this morning and while she felt a little more rested than usual, she had wrestled with whether or not it was worth it for the amount of guilt she held in her belly over making Eddie spend the beginning of his weekend alone.

She had told him the day before that she wasn’t getting up at the crack of dawn today. That she was burnt out and needed a couple of hours after work to focus on herself before a solid 8 hours of sleep. She had framed work as the issue and while it was technically the crux of it. Not spending more than an hour most days on her own basic needs and neglecting the miscellaneous ones was weighing her down in a way she hadn’t been ready for.

She’d practically spent the whole week Eddie was missing in bed but not a second of it was restful and since he’d come back she’d given it her all to make sure he had a reason to stick around.

He’d understood when she said she needed a sleep-in. Lord knew Eddie wasn’t a stranger to an all day lounge-about to recover from a shitty week. But she knew inside that he was sad about it and would never say because he loved her and wanted her to be happy too.

She had tried not to let it get to her. Even Wayne had stopped her as they left together the night before and told her that he thought it was great she was taking a moment for herself. He knew better than anyone how full on Eddie could be and she knew he felt the same weight on his chest that she did every time he had to leave the hospital. 

He had tried to convince her it was okay to take the whole weekend. That Eddie would be fine if she just didn’t show up again until Monday lunchtime. She knew that wasn’t true but she appreciated him for trying. At the very least he had convinced her that sleeping in was an okay thing to enjoy.

That he didn’t judge her for it.

But that fact hadn’t stopped her from dragging herself out of bed at 8:30am and eating her toast in the car on her drive across town.

Granted, 8:30am was still a sleep-in for her. But it wasn’t exactly the one she had in mind when she’d gone to bed purposefully without setting an alarm in the hopes her body clock would forgo waking her in a cold sweat, thinking that she was late for work.

She hadn’t bothered to get ready to leave the house in any capacity. Her unwashed hair still in a bun from the day before and the oversized shirt she’d worn to bed was ruffled by the whoosh of the automatic doors.

She couldn’t remember who’s shirt it was at this point. Just that it had been too big for them and it was the most comfortable ‘dress’ she’d ever worn in her life. She’d had it for a long time. It was one of her favorites that never usually left the house with her. No matter how comfortable it was, it wasn’t exactly a full outfit on its own and usually, she tried at least a little to seem put together with the way she dressed.  

She looked down at it as she waited in the elevator. A cartoon galah wearing sunglasses, surrounded by palm trees on a lavender background.

Oh, it was Bradie’s. 

She realized. Remembering suddenly that it could only belong to her older brother. The rose-breasted cockatoo was an Australian animal. The irony of that fact being that despite currently residing in Australia he hadn’t purchased the shirt there but in a gift shop in Thailand 5 years before he moved across the ocean back to the country they were born in.

She thought about him briefly as she headed towards Eddie’s room. Wondering what he would make of all this if she called him up and told him the story she had and tried to act as though it wasn’t fishy as hell.

No doubt he already had opinions but there was no way she was hearing them any time soon. 

She could pretty much guarantee that her Mother had barred him from calling her or asking about it if he did. Bradie was opinionated and pig-headed but if he liked you he’d give you the world. He was also fun-loving and laid back but it varied person to person if they had ever seen that side of him.

He hadn’t met Eddie yet but he’d gotten an earful about how fantastic he was a couple of months earlier. Strangely, not from Karmen. 

Karmen’s Mother Carla, had loved Eddie when they’d visited. 

She was one of the first after Wayne to tell her that there was no way Eddie did the things he was being accused of. She’d only met him a few times but she knew and she was an ‘amazing’ judge of character…

The fact that her Mother had immediately said that Eddie was innocent should have worked in his favor but if anything, it hindered his case. Her mother was a lovely, gorgeous hearted woman that trusted blindly.

In other words, she was gullible and prone to being hoodwinked by nefarious people.

But she certainly did have her moments. She tended to be right about people more often than she was wrong. It was just that when she was wrong, it was always a doozy.

‘Doozy’ didn’t exactly describe the magnitude of how wrong she would be if she was wrong about Eddie... 

But Karmen had overlooked it all the same. Said ‘thank you’ and decided to believe that Mum was right because she was just as gullible but only when it came to love.

Yes, Carla had loved Eddie.

He was exactly the type of boy that she wanted Karmen to find. Kind, polite, funny, a little bit silly and:

“So, so handsome!” She had cooed, her fingers pinching both of Eddie’s cheeks as he looked down at her with stars in his eyes.

He was her new favorite! She had proclaimed, slurring her words after several wines at the first dinner they’d shared.

Eddie blushing and kicking his feet as Carla’s other son Parker sat across the table, mouth agape.

He had traveled across the country to be there. Not to meet Eddie but to alleviate the guilt he felt that his Mother was ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ since he, her last baby, had left home.

He’d only been living in L.A for a few months at that point.

Karmen knew her Mum hadn’t meant it the way it came out but she silently understood why Parker had bought a return ticket for only two days after his arrival and Bradie hadn’t visited in years.

Speaking of Braide, she was glad he hadn’t heard it. He was petty like her. Petty enough to renounce his citizenship just so he had an excuse not to come back for Christmas.

Parker had just rolled his eyes and written it down in a notepad when he thought no one was looking. 

He’d take the hit to have more material for his musical comedy.

He’d drink about it when he got back to L.A.

Besides, he liked Eddie. He already knew him vaguely from school. 

Karmen wondered what he thought about it all. Not that she really cared for his opinion. He was a worse judge of character than her Mum.

Their Mum who had just been trying to make Eddie feel welcome. 

She had succeeded. 

He hadn’t shut up about how much he loved Carla for several weeks afterwards. 

Karmen was happy with that result, if not a little worried that he’d leave her for the mature model of herself with better cooking skills. 

There was a small part of her though that found Eddie’s excitement at being accepted profoundly sad. Knowing Eddie had never really had a Mother figure in his life. He’d certainly never had one that outright said they liked him. 

The man had Mommy issues but not in the way she was used to. Most men she had dated that showed their hand early and ticked Mommy Issues off the list off Red Flags were total Momma’s boys but liked to pretend they hated every second of her doting on them. 

It was to the point that Karmen played second fiddle to Mother and put up with behavior she shouldn’t have from the in-laws that were just ‘protecting their baby’ from the mean lady that he asked to date him.

Eddie’s issues were very different. He hadn’t had a Mother to dote on him. He’d never been doted on before, period. He’d never really been taken care of before outside of basic needs and the kind of strained and stunted emotional talk that Wayne could offer.

Affection before Karmen was sparse and often came from inappropriate places and people. Like the Elementary School teacher that he latched onto because they were a little too nice when he was struggling to make friends or the person he had a crush on because they didn’t tell him to go away the first time he spoke to them.

Just two examples of the many people that were kind to him in the past that he went on to develop a strange parasocial relationship with.Thinking he meant more to them than he actually did. It always ended in the reality crashing down on him before he got too comfortable.

A big reason he had been surprised when Karmen actually turned up at the Hideout on that fateful Saturday night. He hadn’t misconstrued her general friendliness for affection or imagined the connection they shared.

She cared for him in a way he didn’t truly know he needed until he had it and Eddie liked being cared for. 

He liked it a lot.

That was what it came down to. It was something he’d only just begun to really open up to her about before everything went down. He’d had no problem sharing his tastes early on but a few weeks before he’d gone missing the can of worms had been pried open and emptied out all over the bed.

Just another checkbox at this point for why exactly she knew in her heart of hearts that Eddie was innocent. 

No one really knew him like she did. What he was really like behind closed doors. 

He wasn’t scary, macho or self-assured.

If anything he was timid, gentle and soft. 

He wasn’t capable of snuffing the life out of someone.

Also, despite not being able to tell her with his words, she knew there was nothing between him and Chrissy.

She had worried at first. Having been mistreated in the past there was always that deep seated fear of it happening again. Of being so gullible that she had not been able to see the signs. That fear of being blindsided by someone you trust, again. 

But after having time to sit with the information she had, she knew he was telling the truth about that at least.

There was just no way a barely legal highschool girl was worth giving up what he had found in her. 

Not in a conceited way. She didn’t believe she was hot shit or the best thing to ever happen to him simply because she was great and he couldn’t do better. 

But in the way of the deep understanding she had for who he was and why. What he liked. His personal tastes when it came to sex as well as everyday life.

Their shared predilections inside the bedroom and out.

She was happy to indulge any and all of his fantasies as he was her. There was no reason for him to stray when he’d already confessed his most awkward desires and she’d responded with enthusiasm. 

What would be the point of starting again with someone else? Even Eddie on Ketamine knew that was a frivolous endeavor.  

She worried sometimes that she had accidentally melded the inexperienced man she’d met into her ideal partner. Someone that catered to her specific tastes without regard for his own. 

But she checked in on that regularly. Every time the anxiety creeped in she’d revisit the idea with him and he was never anything but enthusiastic and excited. Telling her she was being silly and to forget the idea that she had somehow tricked him into wanting the things she wanted.

It hadn’t taken him too long to feel comfortable expressing some of his own kinks and the more he divulged, the less she worried. Each erotic fantasy had an anecdote or explanation attached that pre-dated her involvement in his life by at least 5 years.

The man knew what he liked, what he wanted and most surprisingly, why. 

He was incredibly self-aware in that regard and she envied the confidence he held in his desires. The ability he had to explain to someone that was basically a stranger how and when he’d realized that he wanted to be coddled by a maternalistic Dom.

There had only been a few times over the year where one of them hadn’t felt up to what the other had proposed. Eddie had no trouble voicing that with her and she’d happily compromised on something else, as he did for her.

Good sex certainly wasn’t everything she looked for in a relationship. To be honest it wasn’t even on her top 5 list of things that a partnership needed to be successful.

But accidentally stumbling across someone so compatible was rare. Someone that took her wants and needs into consideration during the act. Someone that not only shared kinks but outside of that was kind, compassionate, funny, just plain fun and:L

“So, so handsome!” 

Her Mother’s voice echoed in her head.

It was basically unheard of.

Eddie was an enigma in the best way possible. Even if he turned around the next day and said he never wanted to do anything along the sexual vein again she would be okay with it.

She could go without. She had always been happy to take care of herself.

Eddie had so much more to offer her than shared bedroom preferences. She felt she’d hit the jackpot with this man and she was willing to put up with just about anything to keep him around. 

The only thing she had to think twice about was giving up her Saturday mornings. But when faced with the prospect of getting to sleep until noon but waking up alone forever, the choice was easy.

Loving Eddie was easy. Even on the hard days.

She thought maybe she should tell him that, in those words. That he’d probably like to hear it.

But it would have to wait as she’d just arrived outside his room and her eyes twitched as all thoughts and emotions outside of anger disappeared into the abyss.

She wondered sometimes when rage at a sense of injustice overtook her, if the fury washed over her brain and made it smooth like a river rock. Only one thought allowed at a time when she was so mad that she wanted to cry.

Right now the single thought was Nurse Sally being flattened by her sedan. Unaware that she and Eddie had yet another fantasy in common. She exhaled a shaky breath as she watched Eddie wince at every rough tug of his scalp. 

His nose was scrunched and his jaw set in a way that told her it was taking everything he had left to keep his own anger and hurt inside. However it may present when released, she had no idea. 

It was ironic that he thrived on routine but had become extremely unpredictable of late.

Judging by the redness of his eyes, she was pretty sure he’d already let something out and it had been ignored. She could see if not tangibly feel the barely restrained furor that was bubbling in his gut at every unsolicited touch from that vile woman. 

Karmen rushed forwards as the dull thunk of the hair brush hitting against Eddie’s scalp bounced off the walls of the room. She held back her snarl just barely as she stepped into Nurse Sally’s view and held out her hand in a way that demanded attention.

Eddie startled at the sight of her. The way she had bustled into the room not giving him time to adjust to the intrusion, even though he was grateful to see her. 

He’d never been great with surprises but watching him get startled now was heartbreaking.

Karmen softened, realizing she had frightened him. Feeling bad for how she had approached even if it was because she was jumping to his aide. She should have been more mindful of how skittish he was at the moment.

“I’ll take care of it.” She ground out curtly, gesturing at her outstretched hand and waiting for the brush. Sally looked at her with condescending eyes and for a brief moment Karmen actually thought she was going to argue. To which she definitely would have shouted. Scaring Eddie again and getting herself kicked out without the chance to comfort him.

The other woman wrinkled her bumpy flesh as she smiled in a wholly unfriendly way before placing the head of the hairbrush a little too firmly into Karmen’s palm. 

Karmen suppressed the urge to wince as the bristles dug into her hand. Instead, staring down the older woman silently as she made a show of lingering to clean up things that didn't need to be cleaned before leaving the room just to see if Karmen broke her resolve.

She didn’t. Not saying a word or easing up on her glare until the old hag was completely out of earshot. Eddie watched his girl warily, knowing what she was doing and wishing he had the emotional energy to be proud of her.

She turned and watched as he moved his gaze to his hands. Unable to make eye contact when she finally put her attention on him fully.

“Hey.” She greeted him softly. 

He nodded to acknowledge her, not looking up as she put a gentle hand on his knee. 

“I was going to help you do this.” She said as she took a piece of his matted hair in her fingers. She had been wanting to tackle it since she saw it for the first time. Knowing on a personal level how hard curls were to maintain and how quickly it could get to the point of a buzzcut if they weren’t taken care of.

Eddie’s gorgeous curls were anything but taken care of at this point. Basically just a few matted dreadlocks in the back and a few free stands she had managed to conspicuously wrangle under the guise of giving him a nice little head pat while he was sleeping.

His bangs were relatively untouched and looked as normal as ever. The only issue with that being that they were in his eyes constantly and desperately needed a trim. Eddie wasn’t exactly a barber shop kind of guy. He’d cut his own bangs in the mirror 3 years ago and made peace with what they were. Before her, they were often uneven due to the fact that the only time they ever got a trim was when he got sick of blowing them out of his face while he was trying to do delicate painting or writing at a desk.

Giving into the 3am urge to say ‘fuck it’ and cut chunks off them in the bathroom of his trailer.

Karmen liked them anyway. But she had become his unofficial hairdresser in the time they’d been dating. She’d watched in horror one night as he had growled in frustration and stood up from where he’d been sitting at his desk, taking some random stationary scissors from his drawer and leaning into his mirror to snip them straight across in one go.

If Uncle Wayne had a job with regular hours he probably would have burst into the room to find out what she was screaming about as she jumped up to take the scissors away and offered to do it for him properly.

Not that she knew anything about cutting hair really. But she’d spent enough time at the salon in her early 20s to emulate what they did to a better standard than Eddie was used to.

Eddie nodded at her again, still staring down at his lap as he pressed his lips together in an effort to stop himself from spiraling again. 

“Eddie.” She cooed, dropping the piece of hair and sliding her palm underneath his locks and across his back. He leaned his side against her. Resting his cheek against her chest as she put the brush down on the bed and brought her hand up to run her fingers through his long bangs.

Why are they all so mean?

His voice sounded small, even though it was just inside his head. It was tired and weak, just like the rest of him.

He knew deep down of course why and that he didn’t do it. But it didn’t stop him from getting to the point on days like this where he started to question whether or not he truly deserved it.

There seemed to only be a select few people that thought he didn’t.

He never wanted Sally to do his hair. Never asked for it or consented at all. In retrospect she might have told him what she was planning but she certainly didn’t care if he was listening or not. Didn’t wait for his okay to touch him.

He didn’t want to be touched by anyone else. Least of all that horrible bitch or any of the assholes that chittered and chuckled in his direction all day long as if he couldn’t hear or see them. 

Just because he couldn’t talk right now didn’t mean he was stupid. 

That he didn’t understand how much they hated him.

They didn’t care if he got better. They cared about him looking better so they could get him out of there one way or another. Luckily, they cared if they lost their jobs. Eddie shuddered to think what someone might do to him if they thought they could get away with it. If Wayne and Karmen weren’t a constant around here to attest to the fact that he was getting better. 

If he didn’t have people to kick up a stick and ask questions if his health suddenly declined or worse.

“Can I help you with this today?” Karmen asked quietly. Knowing deep down that he had not asked for or wanted the nurses to do it for him. “It’s alright to say no.” She reminded him when he hesitated a moment. Thinking about the answer.

His stomach was doing flips and he was still in a lot of pain. It was a miracle that he hadn’t thrown up thus far. Cold sweat beading on his forehead at the reminder that it was a possibility. His body taking the thought as its queue to remind him that the painkillers still hadn’t fully kicked in and this might be as good as it got if he pushed himself far enough to vomit.

The thought of someone tugging at his scalp for hours on end was enough to make him gag.

Soon?

He asked, moving his hand in a sign and looking up to her with worried eyes. He had been studying that book religiously and learning rapidly but he was pretty sure she didn’t have time to do the same.

She didn’t understand the sign but knew that it wasn’t a simple yes or no all the same.

“Maybe?” She asked, copying the sign with her hand as Eddie shook his head in response.

“S…” He tried, stuttering out a hiss for the beginning of the word as he moved his palm away from his body in a pushing kind of motion.

“Soon?” She asked, quickly. Catching on fast. She’d played a lot of charades in her time and for her 26th Birthday in June the year before, John had bought her Pictionary. To his dismay, she and Eddie were a well oiled machine at silently communicating. Often guessing each other’s pictures first try or with just a glance to tell the other how to pivot their guesses.

Eddie nodded happily. Bringing a hand up to his face and signing:

Sleep.

He didn’t actually want to sleep, having woken up not too long before. But it was the only way he knew to convey that he wanted to lie down. 

She understood. Disengaging from him and giving him the room to move as he needed to.

“Hey.” She said again as he settled himself on his back. Catching his attention and making him look at her curiously. “I’ll be right back.” She assured him as she pointed towards the open door. “I’m just going to make a phone call.”

~~

The phone by Eddie’s bed only called one way. People could call him if they had the direct line but he wasn’t able to make his own calls on the hospital's dime.

Not that he really had anyone to call anyway. Not that he could speak to them even if he wanted to.

But it meant that when Karmen needed to make a call she had to play nice with the nurses at their station so they would let her use the one patient phone on the floor.

She had come back not long after leaving without elaborating. Eddie had actually started to doze off and only noticed that she was back when the dip of the mattress under her weight alerted him.

She laid with him for a long while. Both of them fell in and out of a light sleep as Eddie’s painkillers finally managed to do their job and some of the tension left his body at the relief coupled with the feeling of a warm body next to him.

Karmen finally got her sleep-in as they were woken up by the lunch delivery. Eddie was surprised to find that he wasn’t in anywhere near as much pain as he usually was around this time of day. Maybe the late tablets meant that they were still working strong or maybe he had been overreacting earlier and actually getting a good rest next to a loved one would help him heal faster than he thought once he left the hospital.

He had griped over the food and Karmen didn’t blame him. Soggy peas mixed into lumpy mash and a questionable source of protein that they silently argued over the origin of until things got out of hand. 

Karmen was convinced it was beef while Eddie insisted on pork. 

Neither of them wanted to try it.

Eddie had gotten frustrated at her not understanding him and started snorting like a pig to which Karmen mooed at him repeatedly in response. 

A nurse had walked in at that moment with his next dose of medicine, both of them falling silent and watching her as she picked up his chart and wrote something down before leaving again without a word.

They waited until she was gone before bursting into laughter. Karmen smiling from ear to ear at the sound of Eddie’s chortling. She had missed the sound.

She promised him that when Wayne arrived soon she would go and get him some proper food from the cafeteria.

She made good on her promise. Disappearing to buy everyone coffee and Eddie a bowl of pasta shells in a red sauce that the lady behind the counter heated for her in the microwave.

She had hoped they would have pigs in a blanket on offer but she never got lucky enough to be that funny.

Eddie ate more of the pasta than she was expecting. She made a mental note to bring him some food and snacks from home during the week so he was eating at least one meal a day.

After he’d finished, Wayne produced the plastic bag he’d brought with him and Karmen handed him some money in return. Wayne had tried to refuse it but she’d forcefully stuffed it in his fist. He’d taken it but winked at Eddie behind her back as he slipped it into her handbag.

Karmen looked through the purchases and that was the moment Eddie realized that she had called Wayne earlier, asking him to bring her things on his way over so that she didn’t have to leave him.

He was grateful. 

She started placing things on the table beside his bed and he sighed deeply, recognizing them as haircare products and resigning himself to just getting it out of the way.

“I know.” She’d said, without looking up. “But I want this to be as quick and painless as possible and I only want to do it once.”

~~

A/N: I know I'm probably repeating myself a little in this chapter and will continue to do so in the coming chapters. I just really want to drive home how in his own head Eddie is at the moment and how frustrating it is for him to not have an outlet for that other than thinking about it and spiralling himself. Sorry if that's boring, but it's intentional.

Eddie is everyone's parents favorite child except his own 😂 @wheels-of-despair has an amazing series where Eddie is reader's Mom's fave as well. High recommend this fic that features this dynamic. 🥰

Part 12 will be linked here when it's finished. In the meantime...

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.  

Tag List: @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528 @stevemunsons

[bl00dlight]

In your most recent ask you spoke about how Ewan said Aemond has the code to be able to walk out on people thus he wouldn't allow himself to be vulnerable/being loved can't help him. But I also have to remind you that Ewan also said that Alicent would be the exception to that code, he wouldn't be able to walk out on her for example, and he also said, and I quote; "I think that's the only way you can beat Aemond, is with love." So I'd argue that saying he'd refuse to be loved or refuse to be genuinely close to someone isn't quite correct. Because talking about show Aemond, I think Ewan has been making it quite clear that Aemond would be willing to be close to people who care for him. All I'm saying is that I don't think things are so black and white, I think Aemond, the one from the show at least, would be able and willing to form connections.

I mean yes, no I agree. I said that he'd be able to form connections.

But I think what Ewan meant by that quote isn't "you can fix Aemond with love." It's that you can BEAT Aemond with love. Those are two separate ideas. What Ewan meant was, in that context of him saying that was to do with why he kicked Alicent out of the council room. Which I talk about, and Ewan talks about Aemond not wanting Alicent in the room because she MAKES him vunerable/emotional. And Aemond doesn't want to feel those things, he doesn't want to be put in a position of weakness. He is a character defined by fear. And for him genuine vunerablity = fear.

What Ewan meant is, you can dampen his worst impulses with love. But you can't make him feel more secure with love. Because love makes him feel vunerable aka beaten/weak. Love doesn't mean you'd fix him. Because what happens when you trigger his insecurities? What happens when you do what Alicent and Helaena both do and point out he is violent/cruel?

I think it's a deeply unrealistic idea to frame Aemond as basically, he'd call the whole thing off, this entire personality would go from violent, power hungry, controlling etc

To loving family man - if he is just given some love/care/affection.

He literally PAYS the Madame to do that exact thing and still walks out on her. Because she means nothing to him. He was confessing something which is MASSIVELY vunerable - that he feels guilty for Lucerys - he exposes himself completely to her; yet feels nothing for her. He can just abandon her. Which is Ewan says is Aemonds philosophy. Don't get attached. You can't get hurt if you're not attached.

“Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.” That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino."

But unless you were his family members (the ones he actually cares about) Unless you were Alicent and Helaena - he'd be using you as a substitute. Which Ewan also talks about Aemond finding substitutes for that love he so desperately wants. A substitute is not the same thing.

He hasn't exactly been very kind to Alicent has he? When she puts her hands on him he pushes them away after he told her to go back to 'domestic pursuits'. He has trash talked her all season, called her weak.

I think in season 1, yea. His character would be more willing to be close to others: but his character was in a place of greater stablity.

But season 2 is a whole different story. He is like 18 years old and has experienced an unbelievable amount of trauma in the span of a few months. And now? All the stablity he once has is completely gone. Remember, trauma is something that pulls you further and further down into your worst impulses. Why? Because it's a survival reflex. Aemond in s2 has lost ALLLLLLL the love/stablity he once had with his mother/family. Which again, was already very dysfunctional anyway. But it was managed. And Aemond wasn't in a position of power like he now is.

Alicent tries to be close with him.

I don't think you've quite interpreted what I was saying, I wasn't saying Aemond would refuse love/care - in fact I have a whole section discussing how that's exactly what he wants. Only it wouldn't be a functional idea of love and care for the person who was giving it to him.

The ask was specifically asking me how I think he'd behave in a relationship where he is loved and cared for. And I said... well exactly how he behaves with Alicent and Helaena (who both do love and care for him).

I mean, if you want to take Alys for an example - we don't really know what their relationship was like or the dynamic. But just from the fact in the books there was clearly, a romantic element to it - Aemond isn't fixed. He gets worse. He grows more violent, more wrathful, more vengeful. He kills and destroys everything around him whenever he feels the slightest bit threatened or insulted.

And if we apply that to show Aemond? Well... yea makes sense. Alys would just be another substitute. He can siphon what he wants as long as he has power. He can let you get close as long as you never threaten him, as long as he never starts to feel like he might be vunerable in the relationship.

As I said - I never said Aemond can't form connections. He can and he does. I said those connections wouldn't be stable. Put it this way, Alicent is Aemond's greatest vunerablity. And he treats her like shit now that she has turned away from him.

How could a man who has never been shown unconditional love? Ever express that? I don't think I'm being black and white. I think it's actually more black and white to interpret what Ewan said as equalling Aemond is easily fixed with love. Because it's not what he said. He said he is BEATEN by it.

And what does Aemond not want? To be beaten. He doesn't want to feel vunerable or weak. So why would he lean into that if he feels he is going to be beaten? And why would he distance himself from Alicent to the point of stripping her from her only power - if it wasn't for the fact that his love for her makes him feel vunerable?

It's black and white to think Aemond is uncomplicated enough that he would just change his entire way of being for love.

He wouldn't. Love threatens him. It beats him.

And the only way to negate any of that would be to basically give in to whatever he wanted, whenever he wants. To have no power, never complain if he mistreated you or others etc.

Again, S1 proves that even with the stablity of his family - he still lashes out towards others. You're forgetting that Aemond wasn't just hurt by Alicent. He was hurt by HIS ENTIRE FAMILY. His brother, his nephews, his cousins, his half-sister, his father. They all neglected him/bullied him etc. This man would not trust anyone lmao. And he literally doesn't we see that time and time again.

Alicent was the only one who ever stood up for him. He is attached to her.

And Helaena too, Helaena has likely never questioned him before or made him feel bad. They share an affinity for being the outsiders so she has only ever made him feel comforted most likely.

It's not until Alicent and Helaena turn away from him - that he fucken loses it on them. Okay Alicent was rightfully upset with Aemond in episode 1 of s2 for killing Luke and he has been hating on her ever since?

Aemond literally assaults Helaena when she refuses the idea that she would help him kill people.

Yea, you could get "close" to him - but my whole post was that being close to him wouldn't be you were exempt from his abuse. And any love/care he feels for you wouldn't be something he LEANS into unconditionally. Because his ego/his wounds are bigger than just that. It's not black and white to see that.... any connection with him would be dysfunctional.

I explicitly stated he is absolutely capable of love and care and connection. But my whole post was about the fact... it would be a nightmare and wouldn't be how you think of love/care/connection. We are talking about a man who has more power then like... well, in a sense he's the equivalent to a billionaire with a nuke - who also rules the world. Oh and also he has been abused and traumatised.

There is a zero percent chance he would form healthy attachments/connections.

[avelera]

OFMD really said, "Pursue the things you love, not the things you fear."

I'm still turning this idea over in my head like a microwave but I'm thinking about Stede's line to (the picture of) Ed, "I'm afraid that your life is better without me."

From @blackbbonnet's gifset here.

Whew, what a doozy of a line!

And what a curious line!

Because the reason Stede left Ed at the end of Season 1 was in the hopes that it would improve Ed's life if he took off.

Despite the fact that Ed chose to be with Stede. Despite the fact Ed was content with folding socks if he was by Stede's side. Despite kissing him and declaring, by somewhat obliquely, that a life anywhere was fine as long as Stede was there, Stede just couldn't hear it over the sound of the Badmintons and his own trauma in his ears telling him he destroyed beautiful things, like his family, and Ed.

Ok, so what does this have to do with my thesis above?

Stede failed, he messed up, because he saw his worst fear of Ed being happy without him and decided that the painful thing was the right thing. That the voices in his head telling him he was worthless were correct. That it was better to listen to those voices, and to make his greatest fear a reality.

I've argued that the narrative morality of OFMD, the actions that give you plot armor and allow you to save the day, are when characters pursue what they love.

This is in contrast to many other adult-aimed works of fiction that say we should do things out of duty. We should do things that are painful but necessary. OFMD said, "Fuck that noise."

Because Stede left Ed out of a sense of duty. And he fucked over every single person in his life by doing so, including Mary and his kids, though he was able to fix that eventually specifically by resolving to return to his own happiness so that they could have theirs.

But then we've got this quote above! This quote saying that Stede is afraid Ed's life is better. Fascinating! Absolutely fascinating! Because that means the thing Stede was ready to self-sacrifice for at the end of the Season 1 was the thing he feared most: a life for Ed that was better without Stede in it.

I suppose there's no better definition of duty, huh? Then the resolve to do something that will be personally painful to us for some higher goal. And again, OFMD said fuck that noise, pursue your happiness, and do so proudly.

But there's an extention to this too, the more I thought about it. The show literally even said that even for matters of survival, the better motivation is joy not fear or duty.

Think of the storm in S1 ep. 4. While trying to think of a way for everyone to survive because it's his duty as a captain, Ed is distracted, disinterested. Izzy's frustration with him mounts. The tension rises. His heart is really not in it, we know Ed's actively suicidal...

And the plan Ed comes up with fails.

It was born out of duty as a captain and it failed because he messed up the dates.

But what plan succeeds? The plan born out of joy. The Ed that works with Stede to become a lighthouse is acting out of an active, joyful desire to live, he chooses life out of the joy of being with Stede, of partnering with Stede.

The you flash forward to the scene where Ed is drowning in his Purgatory fever dream and the simple motions of struggling to stay alive are not enough. The duty of staying alive is not enough. The thing that actually works is when the choice he makes to live is joyful, it's a positive choice to go towards the light and be with Stede. Stede, embodied as a beautiful gold fish of a merman.

And just to be clear, I don't at all think that OFMD is saying, "If you don't have a joyful reason to move forward, just give up." Not at all.

What I think it's saying is, pursuing your happiness will succeed. Even when it's scary. Even when it means confronting fears. Even when it's hard. Duty alone isn't enough to live on. It's not enough to motivate us when things are hard. It has diminishing returns. Pick and pursue what gives you joy, choose a shining target to move towards, and you'll not only be true to yourself, but good things will come out of it. Just like Ed finding Stede, and Stede finding Ed, because they pursued what made them happiest in life.

[violetnerves]

Kind of Unhinged Bully/Canis Canem Edit Headcanons, Part 1 of ?:

- Every single one of the Preppies have had surgery of some kind to fix the obvious physical defects that resulted from their inbred family tree. Derby was the worst case and definitely looked like a long-lost brother of Charles II of Spain before he went under the knife. Even after all the extensive work was done, Derby's mouth is stuck in a permanent smirk, and he can't emote with his face all too well due to how stiff it is. Some easier to hide deformities are sometimes kept, like Tad's single webbed foot, and some have yet to be corrected, like Pinky being bowlegged.

The only reason Tads older brother's severe deformities haven't been corrected is due to his behavioral issues being too disruptive for him to ever live a normal life, thus his family couldn't be bothered and just shoved him into an asylum to be forgotten about.

- Tom's paranoid nature comes partly from the fact that he and his family are in witness protection under different names. His real name isn't even Tom Gurney, not that any of his friends are actually aware of this. At times, Tom will occasionally let slip about something he'd experienced under his old identity, like his quote questioning somebody about if they've ever been on a cruise ship before, which may imply his family were fairly wealthy in their old lives.

None of Tom's friends are allowed to visit the apartment in Bullworth that his family lives in, with his parents claiming it's because the apartment is too small for a bunch of rowdy boys. (Which is true, Tom and his parents have to share both a bathroom and a Bedroom.) Though it might mostly be because they're embarrassed by how far they've fallen in status.

- Mr. Luntz has definitely killed somebody before. The shady In-and-Out motel owner, Mihailovich, helped hide the body. (Kind of a joke headcanon that's semi-plausible ngl.)

I'm just gonna write these randomly since I'll be doing something and my brain just beams these into my consciousness without my consent.

[theeasistwayofdoingthings]

Character sheet

(link for notion)

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Read(about the sheet)

My first language isn't English, so if there are any grammatical problems, I'll be glad if you correct me.

If you have any suggestions of things to add in this sheet feel free to tell me, I can make personalized character sheets too(Character sheets with specific themes, ex: strawberry themed sheet), so if you wanna one you can ask :)

Read:

I'm planning on making more sheets not exclusively Character creation sheets, but maybe sheets for, potion creation, musical group sheets, things like that So if you'll have any suggestions feel free to tell me.

-----------

If you prefer to see directly without the link:

--------------

“Character quote”

General information

Name:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

Middle name:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

It's an honor to a family member?

Surname:

Pronunciation:

Meaning:

Nicknames:

Titles:

Hometown:

Current city:

Gender identity:

Birthday:

Dominant hand:

Sign:

Mbti:

Symbol (if they have):

Handwriting:

Signature:

Appearance

Height:

Weight:

Specie:

Race:

Blood type:

Skin Color:

Extra member(if they have):

Birthmarks:

— How is It:

— Where is it:

Piercings:

— Name of the piercing:

— Where is it:

— Piercing jewelry:

Scars:

— How it is:

— Where it is:

— How they get it:

Tattoos:

— How is it:

— Where is it:

— Have any personal meaning?

Hair color:

Hair length:

Hair type(if is straight, wavy, curly or coily):

Haircut/hairstyle:

Ear shape(if are human ears,pointy, etc...):

Eye color:

Eye shape:

Eyebrows:

Nose shape:

Teeth:

Nails size:

Nails shape:

Face shape:

Facial hair:

Fur:

Fur length:

Fur color:

Fur pattern:

Tail color:

Tail size:

Tail type:

Tail pattern:

Wings color:

Wings size:

Scent:

Walking style:

Running style:

Health

Diet:

Exercise:

Posture:

Reflexes:

Eating habits:

Sleep habits:

Allergies:

Illnesses:

Disorders:

Syndromes:

Imperfections :

Broken bones:

Abnormalities:

Disability:

Meds:

Psychological

Memory:

Temperament:

Vocabulary:

Mental health:

Emotional stability:

Instincts:

Learning style:

Interpersonal:

Intrapersonal:

How they see the world:

How they see their life:

Linguistics:

logical-mathematical:

Perception

Sight:

Hearing:

Smell:

Touch:

Taste:

Intuition:

Philosophy

Religion:

Devotion:

Superstitions:

Animal spirit:

Morals:

Etiquette:

Attitude:

Mantras:

Taboos:

Character

Main goal:

Secondary goal:

Priorities:

Motivations:

Self-confidence:

Self-control:

Self-esteem:

Hobbies:

Personal hobbies:

Guilty pleasure:

Habits:

Desires:

Manias:

Afflictions :

Traumas:

Concerns :

nervous tics :

soft spots:

Achievements :

Greatest achievement:

failures:

Greatest failures:

Favorite dream:

Worst nightmare:

Latest memory:

Earliest memory:

Happiest memory:

Saddest memory:

Funniest memory:

Vocabulary

Compliments:

Insults:

most used words:

Greetings:

Preferences

Likes:

Dislikes:

Special interests:

Most favorite things/subjects :

Least favorite things/subjects:

Combat Skills

Martial arts:

Resistance:

Strong points:

Weak points:

Specialties:

Special move:

Speed: From 0 to 10=

Dexterity: From 0 to 10=

Agility: From 0 to 10=

Flexibility: From 0 to 10=

Stamina: From 0 to 10=

Home, job, education

Hometown:

Current City:

Home traditions:

Routine:

-------

Employer/boss:

Job:

Rank:

Do they like their job?

Experience:

Community service:

Supervisor:

Job hours:

Work ethics:

Method of transport to work:

Criminal record:

Dream job:

Salary:

Expenses?

Dependents:

Savings:

Debts:

Budget:

-------

Primary school:

Elementary School:

Middle school:

High school:

College:

Extracurricular activities:

Special education?

Average grades:

Study habits:

Graduation year:

Specialties:

PETS

Pet #1

Name:

Specie:

Race:

Sex:

Age:

Is neutered:

Is it a service animal?

Social life

Best friends:

Best friend #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Friends:

Friend #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Allies:

Allie #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Acquaintances:

Acquaintance#1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

followers:

Follower #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Subordinates:

Subordinate#1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Rivals:

Rival #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

— Why we don't get along:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Enemies:

Enemy #1

— Relationship with me:

— Have we known each other for a long time?:

— When we meet each other:

— Where we meet each other:

— Why we don't get along:

- Nicknames that they receive:

- Nicknames that they give:

Inspirations:

— Why is it an inspiration?

Heroes:

Mentors:

Communicative:

Cooperative:

Discriminations :

Reputation:

Sociability:

Status:

Social class:

Community:

Family

Mother:

— how is their relationship with her?

Father:

— How is their relationship with him?

Siblings:

Sibling #1

— How is their relationship with them?

Children:

Child #1

— How is their relationship with them?

Relatives:

Distant relatives:

ancestry:

Love life

First love:

Romantic interest:

Marital status:

S/O, Romantic partner:

Sexual orientation:

Romantic orientation:

Love language:

Information about their partner

— who asked to date?

How many years of dating:

When was the dating ask:

Where it was:

How it was:

— Who proposed ?

How many years married:

When was the propose:

Where was the propose:

How it was:

informations for the story

Archetypes:

Enneagram:

Mbti:

Tropes:

Cliches:

Role:

Voice actor:

Symbolizes something:

Inspiration:

One word:

Theme song:

Soundtrack:

Date of creation:

First appearance(Date, local, event):

Latest appearance(Date, local, event):

Last appearance(Date, local, event):

Impressions

First impressions:

How they see themselves:

How the family see them:

How their partner see them:

How their friends see them:

How the authorities see then:

How strangers see them:

How their enemies see them:

Development

Personal:

Social:

Physical:

Mentally:

How they Express

Angry

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Anxiety

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Confusion

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Depression

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Embarrassment

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Enthusiasm

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Fear

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Guilty

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Happiness

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Repentance/Regret

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Nervous

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Offended

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Gratitude

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Sadness

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Stressed

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Thoughtful

Facial expression:

Body language:

Attitudes:

Biography

Infancy (0-3):

Childhood (4-12):

Adolescence (13-19):

Adulthood (20-54):

Seniority (55+):

—What you can put in the biography:

Birth name?

Born with health?

Where they were born?

Way of birth?

First words?

— if they are dead you can put:

Death date?

Where they die?

How they die?

Where was they buried? Was they buried?

Death wish?

Last words?

[worthyprompts]

thor odinson sentence starters. quotes taken from infinity war (2018). altered for the sake of rp, make adjustments where you see fit.

‘you talk too much.’

‘you really are the worst (title).’ / ‘you really are the worst.’

‘NO!’

‘you’re going to die for that.’

‘who the hell are you guys?’

‘you seem to know a great deal about (name).’

‘… your father killed my brother.’

‘families can be tough.’

‘i feel your pain.’

‘i need a hammer, not a spoon.’

‘how do i open this thing?’

‘how do i open this thing? is there some sort of… four-digit code, maybe?’

‘i’m taking your pod.’

‘are you mocking me?’

‘i need you to stop doing that.’

‘he stole it from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people.’

‘the rabbit is correct and clearly the smartest among you.’

‘only (name) can make me the weapon i need.’

‘i assume you’re the captain. you seem like a noble leader.’

‘will you join me on my quest?’

‘you simply lack the strength to wield the weapon. your bodies would crumble as your minds collapsed into madness.’

‘he already is too powerful to stop.’

‘i bid you farewell and good luck, morons. bye.’

‘you’ll know when we’re close.’

‘he’s been dead before… but, no, this time i think it really might be true.’

‘rage and vengeance, anger, loss, regret… they’re all tremendous motivators. they really clear the mind.’

‘well, he’s never fought me.’ ‘yeah, he has.’ ‘he’s never fought me twice.’

‘every one of my enemies would have rather killed me, but none succeeded.’

‘i’m only alive because fate wants me alive.’

‘(name) is just the latest in a long line of bastards and he’ll be the latest to feel my vengeance.’

‘fate wills it so.’

‘what more could i lose?’

‘i don’t think this thing works.’

‘everything seems dark.’

‘something’s wrong.’

‘go back to the pod.’

‘what happened here?’

‘i know it feels like all hope is lost. trust me, i know. but together, you and i, we can kill (name).’

‘leave that to me.’

‘fire the engines!’

‘more power, (name)!’

‘suicide is facing (name) without that axe.’

‘allfathers, give me strength.’

‘it’ll kill you.’ ‘only if i die.’

‘bring me (name)!’

‘noticed you’ve copied my beard.’

‘by the way, this is a friend of mine, (name).’

‘i told you… you’d die for that.’

‘what did you do? what’d you do?!’

[sarucane]

OFMD Spiral Parallels 21: Executions of Stede Bonnet and Ned Lowe

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

There are two executions in OFMD, one in each season. In the first season, the British try to execute Stede Bonnet, but fail because of Ed's intervention. In the second season, Stede executes Ned Lowe, despite Ed's attempted intervention.

The stagings of these scenes are remarkably similar. Ned is standing a few feet away from where Stede nearly died. Stede is in the middle of the dramatic action, with Ed behind him telling him not to do it--in season 1, Ed was in the middle, with Izzy telling him not to intervene. But the first execution is emotionally and personally fairly straightforward, while the second is nuanced, complex, and morally ambiguous.

In season 1, Stede is being executed because his insecurities make him overcompensate sometimes. He doesn't just say he was responsible for Nigel's death, he claims he murdered Nigel in cold blood. When he's sentenced to execution, he tells Ed he deserves it. This all happening because of his own reactions against his fears of inadequacy, his desire to prove his father wrong or his desire to somehow correct the wrong he made when he left his family.

In season 2, Ned Lowe is being executed because he's The Worst. He tries to kill everyone, painfully, and he was a net negative on literally everyone and everything. This time, Stede is the one doing the executing. And he's not really doing it for himself--when he "sentences" Ned Lowe, he talks about what Ned did to the people he cares about, not to him. That said, he's still reacting to some extent to his insecurities, his fears that he isn't tough enough to be a pirate, that he isn't worthy of love.

In the first season, Ed is the one who is making the decision about whether this execution will go forward. He knew about the Act of Grace from the beginning, but he doesn't pull that card until the last possible moment. In the second season, Stede is the one making the decision.

Each of them is advised by someone who thinks they shouldn't do what they are clearly about to do. At Ed's shoulder is Izzy. Izzy here is acting as a sort of demon from Ed's past, a person called to Ed by his hardcore-pirate past. The fact that Ed has made a choice to change doesn't matter: his past actions are why Izzy is here, to the point that Izzy even quotes him to himself. And his past actions are why Ned Lowe is here too. Just like Stede's insecurities put him in the position of nearly dying, and then becoming a killer, Ed's past sometimes echoes into the present and threatens the people he cares about.

Izzy and Ed both advise against intervention. Both do so out of concern. They think Ed in season 1 and Stede in season 2 are about to make a mistake, are going to feed something "bad" in the person they care about. But the nature of the mistakes are opposite: Izzy fears Ed will become less of a "pirate," less of a toxic person, while Ed fears Stede will be psychologically poisoned by embracing this part of piracy. Thus, when Ed ignores Izzy and prevents Stede's execution, it's a heroic act. He had real (if misguided) reasons not to make this decision, and he embraces it anyway, refusing every opportunity to turn aside. But when Stede ignores Ed, the result is genuinly ambiguous. On the one hand, no one on OFMD has ever deserved to die quiet as much as Ned Lowe. But on the other hand, Stede is taking a step down a path whose end lies in darkness. That doesn't mean he's end up in the dark himself, but he's closer than he was before.

Finally, both these executions highlight the fault lines in Ed's and Stede's relationship. Stede's insecurity is dangerous because of how he sometimes overcompensates for it, judges himself for not being "tough," the kind of man his father thought he should be, and at the same time fears himself for being too capable of harm. That led to him almost getting executed in season 1, and leads to him executing Ned in season 2.

The fault line related to Ed is the consequences of his past actions. In the first season, Stede is nearly executed because of Izzy, because Ed's past as a bastard almost consumes Stede's life and Ed's soul. In the second season, Ned Lowe is here because he's chasing Ed--because Ed out-pirated him. Thus Ned Lowe embodies how that Ed's past might one day catch up with him and destroy his relationship with Stede.

But Ned is also a warning of how Stede's insecurities might drive him to become something dark and evil. Ned, like Stede, is cultured and driven. He and Stede aren't pirates because of necessity, like most pirates. Stede chose to become a pirate for fun, and as Ned tells Stede, "I'm just doing it for the lolz." And, like Stede, Ned is driven by insecurities rooted in his family. Stede's father made him feel inadequate, Ned's brother made him feel like second-best. Ned is a warning about what Stede might become.

Still, despite the way these executions both highlight the ways Ed's and Stede's relationship could be destroyed, that's not the immediate effect of them. Instead, these executions bring Stede and Ed closer together. Because all relationships can break, that's just how life works. That doesn't mean they're not worth trying.

[meanqueens]

Was I supposed to be rooting for Rhaenys girlboss speech? Because this lady accepted the Great Council despite having the better claim. She allowed her 12 year old daughter to be offered up to the king. She allowed her granddaughters to be passed over in favour of obvious bastards. Now, all of these actions can be seen as the correct political choices for her standing and survival despite them being choices which shackle her to a system that’s screwed her over…but that’s exactly what she’s shaming Alicent for! And the narrative doesn’t frame her as a hypocrite! And Alicent doesn’t have a dragon to fight, unlike Rhaenys, and the only thing Rhaenys has done to fight for freedom with that dragon is murders hundreds of innocents. Yay?

thank you for your ask, anon, and excuse me for just a moment while i roll my eyes into the back of my head from recalling rhaenys’ lovely little speech.

“Now, all of these actions can be seen as the correct political choices for her standing and survival despite them being choices which shackle her to a system that’s screwed her over…but that’s exactly what she’s shaming Alicent for! And the narrative doesn’t frame her as a hypocrite!”

anon, i think that might be the very worst part: for episodes upon episodes now, the narrative has been framing the blacks as morally superior to the greens, when in fact the dance itself is a very selfish and morally grey conflict. it’s not LOTR, with the clearly heroic fellowship fighting against a faceless dark lord (absolutely no LOTR shade, i adore it but i think it’s a good example of what i’m trying to say), it’s people’s wants vs. other people’s wants. “need against need”, as that richard siken quote goes. nobody is leading a revolution against the broken and toxic system; they want the world’s most uncomfortable chair as a means of survival in accordance with that system. and that is a fascinating story on its own, with no clear heroes and villains! but that’s not the story they want to tell.

now until this point, i was with rhaenys; i interpreted her actions exactly as you mentioned, necessary political moves to help her family survive, exactly what everybody else is doing (yes, including the greens, HOTD!). so much time and care was spent with building alicent hightower a compelling character journey, but that doesn’t appear to matter in the greater narrative; apparently that journey was meant to continuously shame her for adhering to the patriarchy (even though it’s clear why she’s doing it). lowkey it reminds me of what GOT did to sansa, subjecting her to trauma after trauma (and i mean the ones that were not book accurate, y’know, the ones that had something of a purpose?) for the sake of stripping her of her fundamental gentleness because that’s not the story they wanted.

maybe rhaenys’ intentions were just to mess with alicent’s head, but the narrative paints her words as justified and not manipulation. and then she throws all her political finesse out the window by slaughtering people in a careless act of dragon violence. what a messy writing decision, like wtf?? who is this woman on meleys bc that doesn’t feel like rhaenys anymore, the savvy grandma who made her peace with her lot and thusly tried to protect her family from the fallout of the throne scheming, because she recognized how toxic it was. she’d lived it. and now she’s bringing the roof down on her family’s heads, just as she did to those smallfolk. when otto hightower is advocating for the little guy and you’re preparing to roast somebody, you know you fucked up.

apparently the “inside the episode” relays that rhaenys didn’t go through with burning alicent and her family because she “couldn’t do that to a mother”, correct me if i’m wrong. idk, i’m interpreting it as a moment of camaraderie, rhaenys seeing herself in alicent, another woman putting herself between the people that she loves in the face of fire and blood and death… even though she just kinda shamed her for it.

in conclusion: just because you can ride a dragon doesn’t me you should (or that you’re the hero of the story).

[galacticrambler]

This week’s episode of Shōgun titled “A Stick of Time” continued the political machinations of a man trying to hold onto his clan despite overwhelming odds. Lord Toranaga now faces two big losses.

Family is a tricky thing for Toranaga in Shōgun. He’s long-estranged from his brother and his son is… A disappointment, I guess is the correct terminology.

The decision to open the episode showing a child (did they say he was only 11?) Toranaga executing his first (?) conquered event warlord was brutal. The close-up on the seppuku was disturbing. However, finding out later in the episode that it was not a clean, one-slice head removal but a traumatic nine-whack cleave was the worst.

When his brother Saeki showed up and revealed his betrayal, even I was stung. Then, later in the episode when Toranaga’s son tries to kill him and slips and dies in a rock, it’s tragically hilarious.

The quote of the episode obviously goes to Toranaga who delivered this when his son was excitedly talking about war:

“Why is it that only those who have never fought in a battle are so eager to be in one?”

The episode was great. They’re nailing it all.

My favorite running gag on the show is without a doubt John Blackthorne trying to convince Toranaga to let him and his men back on their ship. Every single conversation goes like this:

Blackthorne: Toranaga-sama, it would be quite good if you gave me my ship back.

Mariko: (translates)

Toranaga: No. Stop asking.

Mariko: (translates)

Blackthorne: Oh well. Next time.

Week after week, this is the best show on TV. The acting is great, the action is top notch, and the political intrigue is on another level.

[izzysarchivedblogs]

🗣️ tony and pepper thank

Send me 🗣️ for incorrect quotes of your muse and mine

TONY: *on the phone* Hey Pepper do you know my blood type?

PEPPER: Of course, it's A+

TONY: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

Like he won't know, but I'm back to reading Iron Man comics and Tony is flimsy with his own healthcare; then again his brain is made into a slushie a lot. So he truly might not know.

PEPPER: You're a loose cannon, Tony.

TONY: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

PEPPER: I think you play by your own rules.

RHODEY: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken.

PEPPER: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

TONY: No, that just makes me a reckless renegade. Happy's our loose cannon.

HAPPY: *smashes a chair*

I mean, I'm not entirely wrong here. This is the Iron Family.

TONY: I just electrocuted myself.

PEPPER: How shocking.

RHODEY: How do you feel currently?

TONY: I feel kinda amped.

RHODEY: Watt? I can’t hear you.

TONY: I said it hertz a lot.

MARIA: Are they okay?

PEPPER: This is normal, they’re fine.

MARIA: But he was just-

PEPPER: He’s fine. I’d honestly be more concerned if he wasn’t making puns.

I had to sprinkle in more Iron Family as a whole as well.

TONY: *calls Pepper* Hey, are you busy right now?

PEPPER: A little bit. Why?

TONY: Oh, no worries. Nothing important. *hangs up*

*hours later*

PEPPER: You were in jail?! Why didn't you say anything?!

TONY: You were busy!

PEPPER: So NOW you respect my time!

I mean yeah. He would.

TONY: Gosh, he's just the worst.

PEPPER: Uh huh, yeah. Hey, Tony? When is Steve's birthday?

TONY: July 4, 1922, Manhattan, New York City, New York. 3:47 AM. It was on a Tuesday. His nurse's name was Susan.

PEPPER: When's MY birthday?

TONY: How the fuck should I know?

PEPPER:

PEPPER: Carry on.

I am correct on this as well.

[eldest-sibling-tournament]

Literally... none of that is true lmao. Dick had beef with Bruce and mostly tried to keep Jason out of it, and let Jason know he was there for him if he needed it. They went skiing together. Dick had a complete breakdown after Jason's death.

Where do I even start on the next bit. ALFRED originally gave the Robin mantle to Damian. "Worst year of Tim's life" It was the worst year of DICK'S life. His father of like 15 years died, his city got blown up, his best friend died, etc etc. And he STILL pulled it together and took on the burden of becoming Batman, sacrificed his independence, moved to Gotham to raise Bruce's deeply traumatized son.

Also he NEVER tried to put Tim in Arkham. And god forbid he not listen to Tim who had NO EVIDENCE Bruce was alive, instead of taking care of all back-breaking responsibilities on his shoulders while still grieving

Anyway. Please don't use fanon Tim stan nonsense to slander Dick thank you <3

ask 1 ^

ask 2:

i know it doesnt actually matter but that second-to-last ask abt dick grayson is literally just straight up lies. this person has not read any of the comics they are referencing. they are just quoting incorrect fanon as if its facts. dick had a complicated relationship with jason, yes, but wasn't particularly unkind to him, just distant, and is shown to have regretted that and grieved him hard; i'm not even gonna begin to get into the damian bashing but literally at no point did dick ever try to get tim committed to arkham. he suggested tim get therapy, because their adoptive father was dead (as far as they knew) and tim was convinced he wasn't but had no evidence. this is not an unreasonable thing to suggest to your grieving brother who appears stuck in denial! and he didn't "replace tim with damian and not even tell him". damian literally interrupted the conversation where he was trying to tell tim about it (where his rationale was that damian, a child literally raised in a cult of assassins, needed to be given a role to fill in bc he needed structure while being deprogrammed from being a child soldier, and dick wanted to see tim as his equal, not a subordinate.) tim himself completely reconciled with dick by the end of this comic. that anon was just making up a guy to be mad at, not actually talking about dick grayson 💀

ask 3:

Hi I’m the dick grayson shouldn’t win anon, the people thirst voting one etc etc but saw some propaganda that’s based on bald faces lies and I gotta correct it bc it’s my pet peeve. DICK DID NOT THREATEN TIM WITH ARKHAM. HE SUGGESTED A THERAPIST IN METROPOLIS like okay he fucked up there but he made the best decision he could during the red robin run (which is a dumpster fire) and like it’s been a minute since I read battle for the cowl era but didn’t Alfred give Damian the robin suit. And Jason was literally in dick’s family colours which got taken away from dick by Bruce which he had no right to do so I mean he justifiably didn’t like him. And yeah okay dick did put Jason in Arkham but need I remind you that Jason went on a killing spree as Batman and almost killed tim. And let’s be real him and him are brothers. He didn’t ditch him. That relationship was never fixed in comics bc they reset the universe but at the end of red Robin they were okay. And like you have over 10 years of comics but the important thing is that Arkham was NEVER what dick suggested to Tim holy shit but uh also don’t vote for dick in the next round (vote for him against supernatural guy tho) I just don’t appreciate the slander but I’ll be putting out my anti dick grayson propaganda next thanks

Adding to my other ask, Tim literally sounded like he was losing it. Like I wouldn’t believe him either. In the nightwing comics not too long ago he tried to bring his dad, Steph, and Conner back to life with the Lazarus pit. Tim willingly cut himself and started to use self destructive behaviours (LoA) and like his entire internal monologue supports that and bc grim dark era justifiably fucked him up okay I’m done

ok thank you! glad you're clearing this up

[universetalkz]

Hello, my divine friend. Often growing up, and to the dismay of myself, my older sister and mother would bond over past lives and being 'old souls.' I recall vividly interrupting a conversation they were having about this, when I would rush in and try to get attention, and perhaps with a sneer deeper than was true and I imagined to he sharper, would call me someone 'new' or at least a 'new soul.' I have felt.lodt practically ever since, despite many steps forward. I only remember being hurt by it and now I fear trying new things or, revealing my true 'new' self. Do you perhaps have any advice for a 'new' soul? Or a rather, at least a lonely one, that didn't feel like she could look to the 'old' souls for guidance, as they were too busy judging her? All I have wanted is to feel like I've taken the right step forward and to be 'seen' by them. Thank you immensely for even taking the time to read this from me. With everything I have in me that means anything, namaste <3

Hello, my friend! What leads you to believe that their evaluation is correct, that you are what they claim to be a "new soul"? How does one distinguish if an individual is an old soul or a new soul? I would take this evaluation of theirs with a grain of salt. It seems as if they sense your insecurity, and sometimes when people notice insecurity in you, they prey on you for it. I want to say that I apologize that you are experiencing this and that you are feeling this way. Sometimes in this life, we get bombarded with the opinions and thoughts of others. You could be doing one million things right (although what is "right" here may be completely subjective) and there will still be people that oppose you or think you could be doing better. My point here is that, it may be easy to get discouraged by the judgement of others especially if it's your family, but you have to let their judgements roll off of your shoulders. It's not that their opinions aren't important, just that your own opinion of yourself should weigh much much more. The journey of self-love is the most important one. I think a great place to start is changing the way in which you speak to yourself in your own mind. Do you participate in a lot of negative self-talk? Are you your own worst enemy? If yes, this needs to change. The goal here is not to be "seen" by people who are judging you-- this will ALWAYS be out of your control. The control that YOU have here, is your reaction to them. You cannot make anyone think or act a certain way-- even if it really hurts, even if they are in the wrong, even if you shower them with love, and seek their approval. If you cannot change something, you always have the power to change your mindset in regards to it. There are a lot of things in life out of our control; many things out of our control are the driving forces for anxiety and depression. For example, being anxious about something that happened in the past will keep you stuck not only because it's interrupting your present moment, but because it is out of our control to change anything from the past. Changing the way your mom and sister are and how they act towards you just will not be a successful attempt...However, we teach people how to treat us by standing our ground and showing people the way we would like to be treated. All of your power is within you; you hold the key. You do not need their approval, they do not even need to like you. I know it may hurt to not receive their approval, but your opinion of yourself is far more important. I have gathered some quotes that you may find helpful in this type of situation. I apologize if my words are not of assistance; I hope I could have helped in any way. Feel free to ask me more questions; I will do my absolute best to answer authentically. Good luck on your self-love and self-discovery journey. Not everyone in this world will agree with you, and I assure you--that is more than okay...

"When you are evolving to your higher self, the road seems lonely."

"It's so freeing once you stop trying to convince people to see things from your point of view. Leave people to their perceptions. It is their choice whether they want to understand you or not."

"Everything changes when you begin to love yourself. You no longer send out energy of desperation or need to be filled from the outside. You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better. The more you love who you are, the less you seek validation and approval."

"Do not feel the need to explain yourself. Nobody has to understand you."

“Do not take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

"If you do not spend time getting to know yourself, you will end up absorbing everyone else's random and conflicting ideas about you. Knowing who you are on a very deep and intimate level is the best way to protect yourself from internalizing disempowering opinions from others."

“It is not for you to SAY who I am. It is for me to BE who I am.”

“I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”

It is a natural human tendency to number one, desire, and number two, to desire to be approved by others. Sometimes we lose our inner voice because we get caught up in who others think we should be. What do YOU think about yourself? Who are YOU? I remember one of my earliest revelations on my spiritual journey was evaluating which of my thoughts were my own, and which of my thoughts were just blindly accepted as my own. What do I like, instead of what people told me to like?

Pardon my language-- remember WHO THE F*** YOU ARE! Saying that personally gives me a small moment of laughter, but it also redirects me-- no one on this PLANET knows YOU better than YOU! Even your family. This does not mean that you have to cut them off or anything, but sometimes, you have to love people from a distance for the sake of your own sanity and to silence the opinions of others so that you can distinguish what is really you. This life isn't about "finding yourself" it is about "creating yourself." Become the person that you want to be. You see the way they have made you feel? Be the person that isn't like that. Be better. Rise above those that have hurt you, and recognize that you are not superior to them, you just hold no space for negativity or low vibrational emotions in your soul any longer. Forgive. You will set yourself free-- not the one you harbor negative emotion toward. PEACE & LOVE TO YOU!!! I have an exceptionally large amount of gratitude to any individual that took the time to read this. Did I help you in anyway?

Love,

Universe Talks <3