#world’s worst spy
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yackers · 4 months ago
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love that rufus bothered to come up with a stupid and ridiculously memorable fake name only to sign things rz anyway like what’s even the point
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tiredandoptimistic · 15 days ago
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I just realized. In One Step Ahead, the "typical Curt" "typical jerk!" "ooh, sick burn" interaction is way more than just banter. Owen hears "time to save the world again" and can immediately write it off as Curt being Curt, unable to grow and think for himself beyond stupid impulsivity. Typical Curt, acting like it's a simple save the world scenario where he can cut corners and come out the hero. Meanwhile, Curt hears "and pretend to be a hero again" and can't square it with the Owen he remembers, it's just generic villain dialogue. Just a typical jerk who wants to cause pain. It's no coincidence that the next line in the song is Curt saying "what happened to the man I knew?" he literally can't recognize this interaction as things Owen would do or say.
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sarellathesphinx · 8 months ago
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Hey did you guys know Reeve is the one who had to tell Elmyra and Marlene that Aerith died in the original game. I think about this constantly
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problematicbots · 2 months ago
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Sentinel: *names autobot after how he see them or what they can do *
Ratchet: no autobots fly!
Me: ah I see this is a world building thing that flying autobots are forbidden thing
The All Spark Almanac: here a dude name sky Garry
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Me:...I choose to ignore this since it doesn't make any freaking sense
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sandxhanitizer · 1 year ago
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NO NONE OF THIS MATTERS ANYMORE SCRAP ALL OF THIS
Cool TF2 thought I had actually
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Alright so, based on this part on this part of the 2nd comic (Unhappy Returns) I take it as implication (and assumption) that Spy helped out Scout a lot during the time his arms were broke. Not just taking him to the bank to get his Tom Jones merch, but generally. I realized it would make a lot of sense for Spy to help Scout because he abandoned him and never got the chance to be there for him growing up so he's making up for it now. And this also doubles as reasoning for why he was still in Teufort (which is where him and Scout got arrested) despite saying he had a flight. HE STAYED FOR HIM Y'ALL- ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽
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acourtofquestions · 7 months ago
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Currently on Chapter 59 of Heir of Fire & I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been crying since Celaena fell asleep in Rowan’s arms up in that tree😂🤣🥹😭🖤 just tooooooo much to say — Abraxos flying with Manon — Dorian & Sorscha — the kitty-cat friend🤣 — all of Aelin facing the Valg — she has short red hair now (?) & like the least of changes as she said, but also POWER MOVE — & just UGHAJABSNWLWN *keyboard smash head desk* … 9 chapters left, then on to Queen of Shadows😬😆
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year ago
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Processing some things
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Also the fact that he's crouching with his hands on his knees is so cute to me for some reason?? He does this in another episode too - the one where Chakotay finds a symbol on an unknown planet...it's just so adorable to me. He could just lean down but no. Also of course his fingers are spread again - GOTTA utilize the whole hand whenever you do ANYTHING (if you're Tuvok)
#anyway. he's so pretty I'm gonna bite my arm off spongebob style.#Tuvok in the Maquis: I'm gonna spy on these criminals but also?? I'm gonna try out a new eyeshadow look.#Tuvok calling Neelix 'sir'....one and only time v_v treasure it Neelix#Do these replicators make clothing? (yes.) Will they make me a uniform like yours~?? (No. They most CERTAINLY will NOT. <3)#<- also Neelix is naked and Tuvok brought him a towel in a way that was very theatric but also very 'lets dry you off'#like...not just handing it to him#I love Neelix's scrappier early seasons vibe <3<3#I also like whenever he was like 'GOD these Starfleet people are a bunch of BABIES...eat the damn leola root. It's good for you~!'#I FROGOT KES WAS HELD CAPTIVE BY THE KAZON???? KES ARE YOU OK???#Kes: I'm told I'm too curious...it's my worst quality~ <- and then the writers never let her out of sickbay#In my ideal world Kes & Neelix are like brother and sister (harkens back to Neelix's lost family and gives a slightly more sympathetic#reason for his overprotectiveness which would now not be romantic jealousy but still something he had to let go of for them to truly be#friends) and also Kes tried every work station aboard Voyager...every episode she's somewhere new but her MAIN job is still in sickbay#Kes is in a pseudo cult and she said nu uh I believe in a different pseudo cult and I love that for her#Kes: I don't want to be dependent on the caretaker!! (reasonable) Our people have magical mind's abilities that allow us- (ok Kes)#just bc she was right doesn't mean it's not a WILD thing to think HEhehehe#SNRKEHEHEHE HARRY STOP TOM CAN'T TAKE THIS#Tom: How can I let down the only friend I've got~? / Harry: Friend? What makes you think I'm your friend~? / Tom: -sobbing into his pillow-#Neelix saying 'Well...the fool needs company!' ok <3 I'm twirling my hair a little....got a bit of rizz...#literally an hour ago he was willing to leave them all for dead and now look at him#OUG hTom Paris the racism....ough the racism...not even the fantasy alien kind.......oaaau ugh oh it hurts the real world racism.....#TOM NO STOP TALKING!!! TO M NO THE RACISM - TOM PARIS !! TOOOOM!!!!! <- walter white screaming meme#(remembers its Harry's FIRST mission) a different kind of pain....#Janeway and Tuvok holding hands: We're so fucking doomed. This is a terrible position and we have to do what's morally right but#by doing this we're going to be trapped here - maybe for the rest of our lives and not just us but the entire crew. But we have to#do this horrible thing BECAUSE we're good people.#<- not enough attention is paid (including by me bc I forgor) to the fact that Tuvok was with Janeway when she made that decision#and backed her up...just a sad little moment to themselves#OOF Tom...three for three on the racism....TOM#Neelix's sales pitch...yeeAAAH~!!
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strawbnetwork · 1 year ago
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reasing blue exorcist and im.so unbelievably obsessed with the way shimas character is being handled
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elodieunderglass · 1 month ago
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Having dug out the Unfinished Tales to reference a conversation Tolkien wrote between Gandalf and Pippin (but didn’t publish) I thought I’d share it. Gandalf is talking to Pippin about the history of Thorin’s company, hobbits and why he chose Bilbo.
This is evidence for the grand statement I just made about how Bilbo was intended to be a catalyst that changed his society, and that hobbit society was indeed significantly different after his journey, with large social changes occurring between The Hobbit and Fellowship. But it’s also a very funny passage to me so here it is:
‘And then there was the Shire-folk. I began to have a warm place in my heart for them in the Long Winter, which none of you can remember.
They were very hard put to it then: one of the worst pinches they have been in, dying of cold, and starving in the dreadful dearth that followed. But that was the time to see their courage, and their pity one for another. It was by their pity as much as by their tough uncomplaining courage that they survived. I wanted them still to survive.
(😭😭😭😭. Also the theme of having pity for each other is what redeems both Bilbo and Frodo re: Gollum.)
But I saw that the Westlands were in for another very bad time again, sooner or later, though of quite a different sort: pitiless war.
(This is possibly one reason why this passage didn’t make it to publication - Gandalf shouldn’t have had this much foreknowledge of the upcoming war of the ring.)
To come through that I thought they would need something more than they now had. It is not easy to say what. Well, they would want to know a bit more, understand a bit clearer what it was all about, and where they stood.
(It’s also explaining that Bilbo’s role in Thorin’s company was predetermined both by a more omnipotent Gandalf and by Fate; that Gandalf selected Bilbo to be a social catalyst, to return and provoke hobbit society into a more adaptable, resilient state; therefore increasing their chances of surviving.)
They had begun to forget: forget their own beginnings and legends, forget what little they had known about the greatness of the world. It was not yet gone, but it was getting buried: the memory of the high and the perilous. But you cannot teach that sort of thing to a whole people quickly. There was not time.
(Thus Bilbo was supposed to be changed, and return changed by his journey, to teach his people.)
And anyway you must begin at some point, with some one person. I dare say he was “chosen” and I was only chosen to choose him; but I picked out Bilbo.’
‘Now that is just what I want to know,’ said Peregrin. ‘Why did you do that?’
‘How would you select any one Hobbit for such a purpose?’ said Gandalf. ‘I had not time to sort them all out;
(He is SO funny)
but I knew the Shire very well by that time, although when I met Thorin I had been away for more than twenty years on less pleasant business. So naturally thinking over the Hobbits that I knew, I said to myself: “I want a dash of the Took” (but not too much, Master Peregrin)
(This is brilliant we are always BODYING pippin constantly. NOT TOO MUCH TOOK 👀. We were ROBBED not having this in canon )
“and I want a good foundation of the stolider sort, a Baggins perhaps.” That pointed at once to Bilbo.
(Eugenics! Observing them like laboratory mouse lines! Call him a Charles River BILB/o the way you’re genotyping these poor little bastards for your purposes)
And I had known him once very well, almost up to his coming of age, better than he knew me.
(??? Hiding in the bushes spying or…?)
I liked him then. And now I found that he was “unattached” – to jump on again, for of course I did not know all this until I went back to the Shire. I learned that he had never married. I thought that odd, though I guessed why it was; and the reason that I guessed was not the one that most of the Hobbits gave me: that he had early been left very well off and his own master.
(Was it cos he’s gay as fuck, Gandalf)
No, I guessed that he wanted to remain “unattached” for some reason deep down which he did not understand himself – or would not acknowledge, for it alarmed him.
(I 100% now and for always love a narrator in a constant state of Just Fucking Lies To Everyone All The Time, Giving Us Nothing, Acknowledging Nothing Including Himself. NOPE NOT PROCESSING ANYTHING TODAY THANKS. WE’RE CLOSED. COME BACK TOMORROW. just A Massive Liar about everything and for what!!! Bilbo Baggins my beloved you were born wrong.)
He wanted, all the same, to be free to go when the chance came, or he had made up his courage. I remembered how he used to pester me with questions when he was a youngster about the Hobbits that had occasionally “gone off ”, as they said in the Shire. There were at least two of his uncles on the Took side that had done so.’
You can see why I love this! And I can see why Tolkien didn’t include it, too. Still very fun passage and near enough to canon to be used if you ever want to.
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kittyfrisk9 · 3 months ago
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IdeaDpxDc: A nice moment with a sleep demon.
Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.
Dead On Main.
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Danny accidentally absorbed some of Nocturn's powers (like in the Vortex episode), and now, with these new temporary abilities, why not take advantage of them? Like a kid with a new toy, Danny (or should I say Phantom: with a new design) has fun every night going from dream to dream.
The dream world is so strange! Without the constant threat of a dream entity trying to take over the world and all that. Now he has fun exploring the most unusual parts of his classmates' subconscious, or anyone's in general.
Even though he knows he shouldn't be doing this (after all, he's a responsible adult now), spying on other people's dreams isn't exactly something a mature person would do.
On the other hand, Danny is the responsible adult; Phantom is the one who uses his new powers recklessly. Plus, no one in Gotham knows who Phantom is, and at the end of the day, he's not hurting anyone. Point in his favor!
It was all fun and games… until he felt it: the unpleasant taste of a nightmare, distressing and desperate. Phantom knows he has to intervene, because, unlike Nocturn, he does not delight in the suffering of others.
So he goes. And what he sees shocks him.
Resonant laughter of a psychopath, the constant pain of flesh being beaten, and the devastating reminder that no one came to help. Phantom doesn't just see it, he feels it. Gross. What is this? Why would anyone be hurting a child? Then he understands: this is not just a nightmare, it's a memory, and someone is suffering from reliving it.
He absolutely will not allow this nightmare to continue.
...
Jason hasn't been having good days lately, mostly because instead of going to therapy, he's chosen to sweep his trauma under the rug and aggressively throw himself into crime-fighting. He's not good at dealing with his emotions, especially when he's been tormented by the same damn nightmare over and over again.
He knows the script by heart, he knows how it will end, but he still feels the same fear as the first time.
His head hurts.
"No, not again," he thinks in terror. Once again, he's tied up, unable to move or call for help. It's colder than he remembers. The walls have a grotesque tint, with laughter written in every corner. But the worst thing is the silence… until the sound of clashing metal begins to resonate.
Everything is a thousand times worse. He's sure the original scenario wasn't like this, but his terrified mind refuses to accept it.
The metallic sound resonates louder, each crash rumbling in Jason's chest. His breathing quickens, and then he hears it: that laugh.
A deep, distorted echo of laughter that seems to come from every direction. The laughter snakes around the grotesque walls, filled with the same letters that repeat his agony. “Ha… ha… ha…” fills the air, louder with each invisible step that approaches.
Then, he appears.
It’s not the Joker he remembers from that fateful night. This one is worse. Bigger, more deformed, with a smile that seems to tear at his own face. The colors of his suit are darker, more twisted. It’s as if his mind has amplified him, made him more monstrous.
“My, my, how little Robin has grown? But… something remains the same, doesn’t it? No matter how many times you live it, it always ends the same way. And to think that you were my greatest work of art!”
His voice is mocking, but behind the mockery is pure cruelty, a wicked amusement that lights up in those crazy eyes.
The Joker leans towards Jason, his face invading the small distance between them. The sound of metal continues to echo, and Jason knows what's coming next.
"Oh, I almost forgot…" he says, pulling out of nowhere an iron crowbar that gleams in the dim light of the nightmare. "It wouldn't be a good memory without this, would it?"
That's when the pain begins. Jason doesn't want to scream, and he won't. Even though that abominable creature is just a representation of his killer, he won't give him the luxury of listening to him suffer. The blows continue, and Jason bites his tongue. It's just a nightmare, it's not real… it's not real.
It's not real.
It's not real.
It's not-
"Hey… Are you okay?" he hears him ask. His shocked gaze turns to where the clown should be and discovers that he's gone. In his place, there's a handsome young man: short, slightly messy black hair, expressive purple eyes, and a body almost completely shrouded in dark shadows.
The mysterious man had a cosmic air about him, surrounded by a mix of special effects of stars and galaxies. Something magical.
And new.
Jason honestly doesn't know what he's seeing, or why he's seeing it. "What?" he says, unable to find another word to describe his situation.
The entity laughs at his stunned state, a reassuring echo very different from the joker's laughter. Then he snaps his fingers, and suddenly he's no longer in that ugly room. He's now in a field of flowers, beautiful and vibrant, looking out at a starry sky.
Okay, this is the part where he asks his brain how he went from being in a nightmare to being with a handsome guy under the stars, hands free and untethered.
"Relax, you're not crazy," the being says as he lies back in the grass. “You were in pain, and I didn’t like it, so I got you out of there. Don’t worry, that abomination won’t bother you again.”
Jason blinks twice, bewildered, not understanding anything. “You… saved me?”
“You could say yes.”
“Why?” He shakes his head. “No, wait, that’s not the question. Who…?” Looking back at the being, he decides to change his question: “What are you?”
He seems to have taken the being by surprise.
It clasps its hands together as it looks up at the sky, trying to act normal. Jason narrows his eyes. “You can call me Void.”
“Did you just make up that name?”
The being looks away, seemingly embarrassed at being found out. “Yeah…” And suddenly exclaims, “Ah, ancients! I'm not supposed to be doing this, much less with one of the bats."
That last sentence had given away more than it should have.
"Hey, how about we admire the night view and then pretend this never happened?" Void suggested with a hopeful smile, turning to Jason.
Maybe it was the soft scent of the flowers, the calm atmosphere, or just the tiredness after so many nights of endless nightmares, but Jason, without thinking too much about it, walked over, lay down next to Void on the grass, and said, "No."
He needed a break.
...
And that's how Jason befriended a dream demon. And how Danny pretended to be a dream demon until Nocturn's powers wore off. He couldn't let the bats find out his identity.
After that, they spent more time together, fell in love, there was drama and there was closure. In the middle of all that, Danny started having tea with Alfred in the dream world, and at other times, he had fun bothering the other bats in their dreams.
But that's another story.
---
Note: Sorry, I don't know English, so please use a translator. I apologize if you don't get the idea.
Part 2
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friendlyengie · 2 years ago
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going to lose my mind going to go absolutely INSANE!! This post has added 20 years onto my lifespan im going to explode
HELLO GUESS WHO MADE ART OF THE SILLIES AGAIN????? i love them so much they’ve infested my brain,,,, I love women, ,,!!!! I’ve been making some sketches over the last couple of week,, some that will be turned into big epic drawings over the next couple of months hehehheh.
thank you @friendlyengie for your epic characters they bring me joy,, 👍👍👍👍👍
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YAYYYYYY !!! OLD PEOPLE !! This one has been sitting in the drafts for a little while,, hhhh. I like to think that the medics have entirely grey hair and just,,, dye it. Uh oh It’s the last hair dye box in all of New Mexico ,, they’re having a cowboy standoff thing or whatever you call it
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cringe fail loser sapphic at it again. ,,,,, , she horrible o love her ,
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woah,, tnnahts a lot of woman. ,,and pupy!!!. Got a little bit obsessed with the acne on Quinn. I have pretty bad acne myself and most people don’t really add it to their characters and stuff,, makes me feel a little sad and ugly. So thank you very much for that!! It makes,me happy 👍👍👍👍👍
when I first saw spy,, I was like. Oh yeah. That’s,, the,,, the, . She friends with orginal spy I think,, . That would be a little silly ,,I think. So that’s my little itty bitty headcannon. They hate each other too but in silly bestie way. B))
Went a little crazy with the weird gay thing,, just a little bit,,,,, just a. Yeah.
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WEIRD GAY THING AGAIN ?????!!!! NO Way bro…,, This is a sketch I plan to turn into a finished drawing!! Also I’m so proud of myself the perspective looks very epic B)) Also I think Quinn is the type to sleep without a shirt on but I don’t know if tumblr would like that if I drewed that so she gets shitty tank top instead. They are having sleepover in demos room if you can’t tell
also that fucking bongu post keeps on coming into my brain at the worst possible times ,, like I’ll be having a really serious conversation and the fucking bongu appears and I fucking lose it
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FINAL SKETCH!!! This is a very rough sketch of a very epic and cool drawing I plan to finish. If anybody has any suggestions I’d love to hear it!, I am struggling with what to shove into the background. Also fuck yeah the golden spiral babey,, putting those 9th grade art class skills into use B))
This’ll be probably the most intricate art piece I’ve ever made,, wish me luck. I think I managed to fit all 18 mercs in there! Hopefully! I’ll double check later lol.
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(Drawings of the mercs by friendlyengie). Me when the women 👁👁
that’s the end of all the drawings!! Thanks very much for looking at them hhh,,,, I did not spend 16 hours on this, you spent 16 hours on this
go follow friendlyengie they make some sick ass drawings,, good food right there babey B)). I hope I was able to kinda characterize them correctly!! I’m not very good at that yet,, but I’m getting better I think!!
Now off to visit your mother. (Study and plan for spring term and clean my room)
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kitchen-coven · 2 years ago
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So, this is my son and he's an awful no-good liar, but we love him anyway.
Yuuzoh Lai
Level 14 Wizard from the School of Divination
Has an insatiable curiosity for knowledge, and unfortunately knows too many spells that can coerce information out of others.
Also has an insatiable appetite for pastries.
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monstersflashlight · 6 months ago
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Commission for @itsafullmoon
A/N: thank you so much for commissioning again! It means the world. <3 This was so fun to write, everyone needs a friendly werewolf who takes care of you. I didn't include the bedroom part because i thought this would make more sense, hope y’all enjoy it!
Request: werewolf x fem!human Fem!reader is going through hard times and makes a habit of coming home from work to go cry in kitchen and continue upstairs to get ready for bed. She’s completely unaware that her neighbor has been closely watching her routine since she moved across the street 6 months ago, he desperately wants to know what’s wrong, hurt who ever is hurting her!…..decided, she’s the perfect mate! I would like it mentioned in story that fem!human has long black hair.
Maybe I’m a bit of a creep
Werewolf x fem!reader || oral sex, knotting || tw: stalker (lowkey)
After a long day at work, you arrive home like a soul in distress. You leave everything into a pile at the door and walk to the kitchen half zombie. Last couple weeks have been a complete nightmare and you just want to get home, drink some wine... and cry. So you are going to do exactly that.
You are a strong woman who can deal with all this shit and walk away after. But first: crying. Just a bit of crying and then you can keep going. You can do this. But your inner monologue it’s soon cut short by the first tear, followed by a thousand more. You stood there in the middle of your kitchen, face down as tears rolling down your face and falling to the floor. You don’t even care you will probably have to clean that later.
You stood there, crying and sipping on some wine like every other day of the past days. You want to be stronger than that, but you just… Can’t. Life is a mess and sometimes crying is the only way to make you feel a tiny fraction better. But apparently not even that can you do in peace.
There’s a knock on your back door. You look up at the clock and get a bit wary, grabbing your phone in case you need to speed dial the cops or something. “Yes?” You don’t dare opening without asking first.
“I’m your neighbor, can I borrow some salt?” His deep and grumpy voice… Your hot neighbor, the werewolf next door. Fuck.
You knock your head against the door and breathe deeply before answering. You frantically wipe the tears away. “I- sure.” You try to get yourself together as fast as possible, you probably look like a mess and he’s going to see you in all your misfortune. There they go all your opportunities to hit on him at some point. Fuck. Your luck is just the worst.
You open the door a bit and try to back down to get the salt, but before you can do that, he’s asking: “Why are you crying?”
You try to be as subtle as possible as you try to wipe away a couple more tears that escaped your traitorous eyes. It doesn’t work. “What? I’m not.” It sounds fake even to your own ears, but you stay put, maybe you can gaslight him slightly to make him feel you are telling the truth.
That thought makes you feel like a shithead, but dang, you want to maintain some kind of dignity in this stupid situation. Why had to be him? Couldn’t it be any other neighbor that is not hot as hell and you didn’t want to bang since the first day he moved in next door? Ugh. Your luck is truly terrible.
He takes a deep breath and approaches you. “You cry every night. I’ve seen you.” He wipes away some of your tears with his clawed, furry paw, and it takes you two more seconds to register what he just said.
You look at him like he’s crazy, because he truly is. Has he been spying on you? Is he a creep? “What? How? Dude are you a creep? I’m going to call the cops.” You pull your phone from your pocket ready to do just that.
But he stops you “No! No, don’t do that. I’m-” He stops mid sentence, thinking about it, and ends up saying: “well, maybe I’m a bit of a creep.” You want to cry and laugh at the same time, what is this situation? Is he really accepting being a creep? What the actual fuck. “It’s just that your kitchen window is right across my living room window and you cry here every night.” You look across your kitchen and true to his word, his living room is right across your kitchen window. Fuck.
Can you be more lame? He’s been enjoying his dinner every night just to have you crying across the lawn like a pathetic woman. Lasts pieces of your self-respect feel like running away at that moment. Fuck. Your luck is truly and completely fucked up.
But to your surprise, and probably his, too, his next words make you both speechless: “Let me make you feel better.” You stare at him, mouth agape and your brain running so fast you can’t even process what he just said. What the fuck does he mean by that?
“What?” You ask, finally, when your brain gains some kind of control back over your body. He stares at you, his ears twitching in the most werewolf way possible. You wonder if he can hear the rapid beat of your heart.
“Let. Me. Make. You. Feel. Better.” He enunciates each word as if you were stupid, and at that moment, you feel pretty stupid. He’s so fucking handsome you can’t control your own brain around him, or your reactions, or how fucking done with everything you are because you want to say yes to his innuendo so bad.
You try not to feel the anticipation about it, but you can feel your pussy getting excited about it. “How are you going to do that?” You ask, you want to believe it’s an innuendo, but with your luck lately, you can’t ignore that it might be just a stupid idea, and he’s just talking about making you soup or something.
He looks at you and smells the air, sniffing you. You don’t know what you smell like, but he smirks and says: “I’m going to bend you down over the table and I’m going to eat you out. And then… I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t be thinking about your problems anymore.” You feel your heartbeat accelerate even more, your pussy getting instantly wetter. Fuck.
“I-” You hesitate, even though your pussy is screaming at you to stop being stupid and take this opportunity, bet some werewolf dick would make you feel incredible.
He looks at you, his face impossibly tender. “Say yes.” His whisper is so soft and filled with emotion that you feel like crying again, but this time for very different reasons.
“Yes,” you whisper back, feeling shy all of sudden.
“Thank the goddess for that.” He drives right in, framing your face with his paws and kissing you until your brain is spinning. You break apart just for him to tear your clothes off your body, making you giggle at his eagerness. He manhandles you until you are face down on the table, bent down, and he’s kneeling behind you, his face right over your pussy. That’s hot. “Bon appétit.” You are about to laugh at the absurdity of the moment and his words when you feel the first touch of his tongue against your pussy. God.
He gives you no heads up, he starts devouring your pussy like he’s a starved man and you are the last source of food in the whole world. He licks and kisses, and makes out with your cunt. Meanwhile, you don’t know what to do with your hands, grabbing and pulling at your hair. You groan and cry out and feel like the universe is behind your eyes as he keeps eating you out desperately.
The orgasm catches you by surprise, arching your back and pushing your hips against his face as he grunts his approval. You grind your pussy back into his face as he makes the most erotic sounds of pleasure against your sensitive areas. When you come down from the high, he’s right there to catch you, his whole body covering your back as you feel the tip of his erection against your entrance.
“Say yes,” he repeats.
“Yes.” This time is not shy or embarrassed, you are completely on board with it, you want to be fucked until you are a mess of heat and juices.
He grunts at your agreement and starts pushing in. You thought he would be wild and savage, entering you in one hard thrust like all those romance books you love. But he doesn’t, he whispers sweet nothings to your ear, telling you how pretty you are, how he was wishing to ask you out since he moved in but didn’t find the courage. He tells you about how perfect you are, how good of a mate you’d make for him. And you preen at his compliments, your insides getting warm and your heart accelerating to the point of worry.
But he keeps going, his dick so far inside you can feel him against the back of your throat. Fuck. “Is it fully inside?” You ask after he’s been still for a long moment.
“Not yet, just a bit more. Breathe slow for me, let me in.” You do exactly that and groan loud and deep when you feel the last of him enter you. Good goddess he’s so deep.
“You are… so deep.” You let out, your breath caught in your throat. He stays put, not even moving a millimeter, and still whispering sweet nothings against your ear. Bit by bit you relax, and when the feeling inside of you is no longer overwhelming you groan out: “Move.” He waits no longer. He pulls back as much as he can and drives right in, a slow tempo that is driving you insane. “Faster. Harder,” you order, your brain already lost in pleasure. His dick is so big that he hits every single pleasure point at once.
“Are you sure?” He sounds uncertain and that makes you like him even more.
“Yes!” You cry out as he complies, pulling out and back in fast and hard. You groan and moan and a chorus of ah ah ah joins the slap of skin against skin.
He keeps fucking you, the symphony of ecstasy getting louder and louder, but he keeps talking, “your fucking black hair drives me insane.” He tells you, pulling at your hair hard and making you moan.
“What? Why?” His non-stopping pounding is driving you insane, there’s no way you can focus enough to understand what he’s saying.
“I think about it constantly, what would you look with your hair tied back and on your knees? What would you look when I grab it and ride you? It drives me crazy, and now every time I see you in a ponytail I get a boner.” You giggle at his confession, but another hard thrust against your G-spot makes your eyes roll back. He keeps talking, “and you wear too many fucking ponytails.” He punctuates every word with a thrust that have you seeing the whole galaxy. His big balls are bouncing on your clit and you feel so close to the edge you think you are going to break into a million pieces.
He fucks two more orgasms out of you, your body lax and fucked out under him. You don’t know if you could continue, but you have no strength to tell him anything about it. And it feels so good… Over-sensitivity making each thrust a new experience.
But when you think it’s close to ending, he asks, “are you ready to take my knot, mate?” You are startled at his words, but at that moment you wouldn’t care even if a burglar broke in. You need him like you need air, you want to come around his fat knot next.
“Yes!” You scream, a little part of your brain worrying someone could hear how loud you two are being, but not really caring.
His dick starts to expand inside of you, so big you cry out and thrash under him. He holds you down with his own body as he pushes inside fully. When his knot is fully settled, he starts to grind his hips against your ass, and you see starts, another orgasm being ripped off you. He groans when your pussy clenches around him, and you feel the first shoot of his cum deep inside. So much of it. He cums for what feels like hours.
He pulls out and you feel a gush of fluids dripping down your legs onto the floor. Gross. But fast as lightning, he’s there with a warm cloth, cleaning you out and telling you how pretty you look all fucked out. You don’t move from your position, unable to, your legs feel like jelly.
A bit later, when you are on the sofa, your head on his chest and your ass on his lap, you ask him, “Did you mean it?”
He looks at you puzzled, confused like a puppy. “What?”
You breathe hard, trying not to overthink too much what you are about to say: “You called me your mate.”
He stops, his face blank as he looks at you, deep in thought. But he doesn’t make you wait long. “I- Yes. I mean it.” You feel your heart expand, like it’s being overfilled with joy and anticipation.
“Would you go out with me?” You finally ask, feeling your face blush as you hide it in his neck, softly biting the tendon there, making him moan.
He grabs your face in his big hands and makes you look at him. “I’d thought you’d never ask,” he says, a big feral grin showing all his teeth. You blush harder when he kisses you deeply.
Well, at least crying got you somewhere… To the lap of a hot werewolf.
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cameoliob · 5 months ago
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You could ask me why Kallus is my favorite star wars character and I COULD say that its because he has a wonderfully written arc with an impactful presence (even despite his minimal screentime) but that would be a lie
He is my favorite because he is a rat bastard :
- He shows up and is the worst guy youve ever met for a season and a half
- You seriously want to beat this guy up he sucks so bad he is so fucking annoying
- He gets stuck on an ice moon with his nemesis and spends THE ENTIRE TIME either screaming, or serving face
- Like seriously, dude, youre about to freeze to death why are you mewing
- We dont see him again until season 3,
- He becomes THE WORST SPY IN THE WORLD
- Is found out after like 6 months, and in the episode where he gets found out, he spends THE ENTIRE EPISODE -- mind you, this man is like 36-- arguing with a TEENAGER
- Skip to zero hour
- He gets his ass whooped
- Battle of Attolon is happening, the casualties are imeasurable, everything is going to shit; he decides that this is the perfect time to taunt his former bosses
- "Thrawn's not going to enjoy you making a mess of his fleet 😼"
- He just LEAVES
- Jump to season four, he has a fun new haircut and a cute little jacket
- He then proceeds to have SEVEN AND A HALF minutes of screentime, ALL OF WHICH he spends either COMPLAINING or just STANDING THERE
- And youre sitting here thinking, o wow what a nice arc for this guy, thats cool--
- AND THEN ITS IMPLIED???? THAT HE'S IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP??? WITH THE PURPLE CAT MAN ??????????????????
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT??? THAT CAME OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE???
- WHAT IS GOING ON
- Anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk he's so annoying 10/10 character writing
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magicalgirlmel · 2 years ago
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I made my first long-form video everyone! Top and bottom anime of the year!
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solxamber · 3 months ago
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⋆˚✿˖ Twisted Wonderland Masterlist I˖✿˚⋆
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Masterlist II
Heartslabyul
Trash Novel Chronicles: System vs World - Riddle x reader
You have a guilty pleasure: trashy villainess stories. So when you die a frankly, humiliating death, and end up in one of the worst ones you've had the pleasure of reading, you're in denial. Then the villain system shows up. Well, there goes your second chance at life So what do you do now? Do villainous things and cause as much chaos as you can, of course. And maybe, just maybe, bag the male lead, Riddle Rosehearts while you're at it.
This is Love - Riddle x Reader
3 times he notices your acts of love and realizes it doesn't have to be grand and overdramatic like the movies, it could just be like this– sweet and considerate.
Dragon's Favorite Sacrifice - Trey x Reader
Trey finds himself volunteering to be the human sacrifice to you, an ancient dragon, in place of his siblings. What he didn't expect was to become your housekeeper instead of being eaten.
Cocoa Conspiracy - Trey x reader {Request}
He knew you as his partner, the love of his life, but he didn't realize your real identity: a spy vying for pastry destruction.
Donuts and Dark Arts - Trey x reader
All Trey wanted to do was deliver the bread he was supposed to and be on his merry way. Instead, he stumbles on you... in the middle of a ritual?
Birthday Party - Trey x reader {Request}
Trey is more worried than suspicious when you keep disappearing and acting suspicious. He gets more worried when the rest of heartslabyul join in. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't need to be)
Crisis Averted - Cater x reader
After a royal screw up, Cater is left scrambling trying to fix his mistake before you find out. Best part? You've known what he did from the start and you think it's hilarious.
Moments in Bloom - Cater x reader
Cater’s life is a perfect illusion, curated with smiles and snapshots. But beneath the surface, he wonders—what would it be like to be truly seen? To finally stop pretending and let himself bloom?
Forgiveness - Deuce Spade x reader
When Deuce accidentally breaks an item that you treasured, he's worries that he's broken your trust as well. But there's nothing that can't be fixed with a hug and an apology.
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Savanaclaw
Knights and Oaths - Leona x reader
You come from a long line of knights that have served the rulers of the Savannah. But sometimes traditions are meant to change and the second prince is looking like someone worth changing them for.
Trash Novel Chronicles: Love Triangles and Royal Rumbles - Leona x reader
When you get isekai'd as the male lead in the novel where your favorite character, Leona Kingscholar is the second male lead, all that's left to do is rewrite the romance!
Burn Wild - Leona x reader
Always so close, yet so far away. Leona pushes it down—he keeps pushing and pushing, until one day, he lets it break.
Royal Scandal - Ruggie x reader (personal favorite)
You're being forced to marry someone to take the throne you've fought your entire life for. Okay, if that's how it is, you'll make sure to choose the one person here that your dearest parents will disapprove of the most.
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Octavinelle
Shark Tanks and Shady Deals - Azul x reader
After narrowly dodging a one-way trip to the sharks, you've hit rock bottom, career-wise. Enter Azul: your friendly (totally-not-shady) talent manager. In a moment of desperation, you sign with him. Wait, he's actually really good at this. Like, too good at this. Maybe the near-shark experience was just the universe’s weird way of setting you up?
Trash Novel Chronicles: Not Another Royal Mess - Azul x Reader
As a proofreader who gets isekai’d into a cringeworthy novel, you decide to take revenge on the heroine and male lead for their awful story. With Azul—who just wanted to sell you a magic rock—pulled into your chaos.
Love Bites - Floyd x reader
You like him quite a bit, you really do but you're really questioning your decisions after some time spent with him ends up sending you to the ER.
Match Made in Madness - Floyd x reader
Soulmates get updates of each other's lives through an overly enthusiastic dream narrator. What's worse is that your soulmate seems to be completely unhinged.
Witch, Please - Floyd x reader
You're the best witch to go to for getting the job done. Your potions? Absolutely foolproof. At least, that's what you thought until a certain Floyd Leech waltzed into your store.
Cakes and Crime - Jade x reader
After a long week of assignments and sleep deprivation, all you wanted to do was satisfy your craving for a specific pastry at your local shady café. What you didn't mean to do was accidentally order a hit on yourself.
Love in Contempt - Jade x reader
When you take your ex, Jade to court over a ceramic octopus, the reason he wants it so badly might be sweeter than you thought.
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Scarabia
Recipe for Love - Kalim x reader
You know you can't cook, your cat knows you can't cook, everyone who has seen your lunch box knows you can't cook. So why is Kalim so insistent on eating the monstrosities you conjure?
Rest Assured - Jamil x reader
4 times you see Jamil nearing his breaking point and the 1 time you intervene.
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Pomefiore
Trash Novel Chronicles: Please Let Me Live - Vil x reader (personal favourite)
You get isekai'd into the worst novel you've had the misfortune of reading because apparently your life is a cosmic joke. Now all you have to do is not act like the character you've possessed and it'll be fine, you think?
Your fiancé being Vil Schoenheit makes it a little harder to behave like a human being with functional braincells, but hey, atleast he likes you, you think?
Fairytales and Fever Dreams - Vil x Reader
When you decide to beg a fairy for help at your lowest point, you didn't expect that he'd decide to help you— at the cost of you making skincare for him.
Of Seashells and Sweet Nothings - Vil x Reader
You're cursed to love everyone except Vil, and he's cursed to love only you. And yet somewhere along the way, it seems the cursed gene has skipped you.
aka Merman! Vil x reader
Roommate Rumble - Vil x Reader
You and Vil end up as roommates due to administrative error. Unstoppable force (Vil's perfectionism) meets immovable object (your chaos). It ends up working out perfectly.
Date(?) Night - Rook x reader
Rook is convinced that you have feelings for him after your "date". You have no idea what he's talking about, considering that you've never been on a date with him.
Ruler of My Heart - Rook x Reader (personal favorite)
He has always pursued beauty, and he sees everything. But has he ever been seen?
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Ignihyde
Coughing up Love - Idia x reader
You don't think much of it when Idia starts acting weird because let's be real, that seems to be his default around you. Wait are those flowers he's coughing up?
Reaper's Guide to Romance- Idia x reader
When reaper Idia Shroud is assigned to collect your soul, he can't help but come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses to spare you.
Trash Novel Chronicles: I Want to Retire - Idia x reader
You write a novel that reads like a dumpster fire and while trying to delete the draft, you accidentally get isekai’d into it. Now, as the villainess you have to get Idia Shroud on your side as well as survive high society. You have your work cut out for you.
Hook, Line and Shy Guy - Idia x reader
Idia loves your shark tail. You think it's adorable.
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Diasomnia
Kidnapped(?) - Malleus x reader
You were sick of the taxes imposed by the aristocrats in your already poverty stricken village. Your idea of a solution? Kidnap their young master , and make them reduce taxes as the ransom, of course. Only problem is that you went into the wrong manor and kidnapped the wrong young master.
How Not to Court Your Crush: A Disaster in Six Acts - Malleus Draconia x reader
You're trying to court Malleus so why is he acting so weird? Malleus is trying to court you, so why are you acting so weird?
aka you try fae courtship and malleus tries human courtship, you both fail spectacularly.
Trash Novel Chronicles: Accidentally Falling For a Fae Prince - Malleus x reader
When you get dragged into a novel which ends with the heroine in a polycule with the most annoying men in literature, you decide that you're gonna skip town. ...Only to trip over the fae prince, Malleus Draconia.
How to Tame Your Dragon - Malleus x reader (personal favorite)
Since you and Malleus have gotten into a relationship, you've become a bona-fide dragon soother. But whenever you fumble, the entirety of NRC faces the consequences.
aka the 7 times you cause ecological disasters and the 1 time it works out for you.
Trash Novel Chronicles: I'd Rather Date the Male Lead's Dad - Lilia x reader
When you end up in your best friend's favourite but absurd novel about breaking a fae prince's curse, you didn't expect to get attached to his little family too. Even more unexpected? You fell for the male lead's dad, but hey, it looks like he likes you too.
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Others
Frights and Fancies - Skully J. Graves x reader
Doing Halloween prep with Skully! (This is Grim's Night before before Halloween) {written before the full event is out so might end up ooc}
Chasing Fairytales - Neige LeBlanche x Reader
Neige is convinced that you're either allergic to him specifically or he's done something to offend you with the way you're avoiding him. You're just trying not to get blinded by his smile.
Project Love - Rollo Flamme x reader
When your eccentric professor pairs you and Rollo up for a study on attachment types, you didn't realise how much it would change your lives.
Romance Roulette- Rollo Flamme x reader
You, Rollo's self-proclaimed bestfriend, have been trying to set him up with someone for the past few weeks. If all your plans fail, maybe you should do it yourself?
Homecoming - Rollo Flamme x reader
You come home after a long work trip. Rollo is happy to have you back.
Sweet Encounter - Rollo Flamme x reader
You really want the parfait that's exclusive to couples. So you you do what anyone would do, pretend a random stranger in the café is your partner of course.
Escape Route - Rollo Flamme x reader
You're stuck at a party that you frankly don't give a damn about. And Rollo Flamme looks like he would rather do anything else than be here, so you grab him and bounce.
Yours to Keep - Rollo Flamme x reader
Rollo is calm, collected and confident. Jealous? Rollo Flamme? No way! ...unless?
Stolen Kisses - Rollo Flamme x reader
5 times you kiss him and the 1 time he kisses you
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Multi Characters
Hanahaki with Overblot Gang
Making Up After an Argument with Overblot Gang + Rollo
Period Simulator with Adeuce + Overblot Gang + Rollo
Requests
Rook Hunt x reader (Shape-shifter! reader)
Malleus Draconia x Reader (24 Plum Blossom User! Reader)
All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Chen'ya (Wild cat beastman reader)
Dorm Leaders + Jamil (Colorblind reader)
Idia Shroud x reader (Sentient Otome Game NPC! reader) // Part 2
Azul Ashengrotto x reader (Insecure Mer-form Azul x reader, hurt/comfort)
All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige (White Rabbit! reader)
White Rabbit! Reader overblots
Aftermath of White Rabbit! Reader's Overblot
Epel, Vil x reader (Teaching Epel Capoeira)
Vil, (platonic) Crewel x reader (Fashion disaster reader)
Rest of the characters react to fashion disaster reader
Malleus Draconia x reader(Insecure reader, hurt/comfort, happy ending)
Lilia Vanrouge x reader (NPC! Reader)
Pomefiore x reader (Artist!Admirer! reader)
Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Pomefiore + Che'nya (Absolem! reader)
Savanaclaw, Scarabia, Ignihyde, Diasomnia + NRC Staff + Neige (Absolem! reader)
Malleus, Vil, Jade with Angel!Reader
Jamil, Rook, Vil, Lilia with cherub! reader
Tweels with a strong reader
Idia x reader (Reader gets turned into a cat)
Jamil, Azul with a super talented reader
Lilia with a reader who behaves like General Lilia
Leona with an unhinged reader
Vil, Malleus with an unhinged reader
All NRC + Staff + Rollo (Reader shapeshifts according to emotion)
7th Overblot Aftermath - All NRC + Staff (Hurt/Comfort)
Rollo Flamme x reader / Part 2 / Part 3
Savanaclaw, Scarabia with a silly but mature reader
Ace, Deuce, Silver with artistic reader
Grim vs Cat (Idia x reader)
Deuce, Riddle, Ace, Epel with Pomefiore! reader
Jade, Jamil, Azul with 'The Cat'! Reader
Vil, Rook Idia with 'The Cat'! Reader
Delinquent Deuce x Delinquent reader
Pomefiore + Jamil with a Maternal! reader
All NRC(-Ortho), Rollo, Neige, Che'nya with M! Incubus! Reader
Trey, Jamil, Platonic Adeuce with Rich! reader
All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Najma Viper with Slime! reader
Skully J. Graves with a Huohuo! reader
Overblot gang + Ruggie with a Princess! Reader
Idia, Cater, Rollo comforting recovering reader (Warning: Mentions of SH)
Octavinelle with Shark! Reader
Sam x reader(platonic)
Skully J. Graves x reader (Double Halloween!)
Octavinelle, Diasomnia x Freshwater Stingray! Reader
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Main Masterlist
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