#workaholics fic

[uses-for-fics]

Are you ashamed of me?

Anders Holmvik/ Fem Reader

a/n: he looks so cute right here!! i cant explain it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had been working overtime the past whole week, so you had not been able to meet up with your boyfriend, Anders, for a few days. After work, you were too exhausted to hang out with him and would instead eat, take a shower, and head straight to bed. You were putting in extra hours to save up for your upcoming anniversary, which coincided with the Norwegian food festival that you had bought tickets for a few weeks ago. You planned to spoil him with every dish his heart desired. Since you were getting off work around 3 pm today, you decided to head over to his place after work. Expecting him to arrive not long after you had reached his place. You approached the door and heard loud mechanical sounds from inside. After knocking again, you finally received a response of "GOING!". A blood-covered Blake opened the door. He smiled realizing it was you. “Oh! Hey y/n! No overtime today?”

You raised a brow at how nonchalant he was behaving even though he was covered head to toe in blood. “Yeah, I finally saved up enough so no more overtime this week and I'm off work tomorrow, so I got Anders all to myself.” Blake made space for you to come in.

He winced as you passed by. “Ooo if only you were here a bit earlier.” you turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“You don't know?” he tilted his head.

“Know what?” You stopped in place.

“Anders isn't here!” Adam yelled from the kitchen. “Where is he?” you yelled back, heading towards the kitchen. “HIS DAD- oh you're here now.” Adam stopped yelling after seeing you walk into the kitchen.

“Oh my god! What are you guys doing?” you gasped. The kitchen was covered in blood. Adam was attacking a strung-up cow with a chainsaw, not caring where the blood was splattering.

“We're making jerky.” Blake had finally reached the kitchen.

“What? Ok, you know what, not important. Where's Anders?” you shook your head. Adam put down the chainsaw. “His dad came for him. They're out buying a car right now.

"Oh." You looked down soaking in the new information. 'Why wouldn't he tell you his father was in town? Was he ashamed of you?' You shook your head not trying to imagine the worst. Blake noticed your sudden change in mood. "Hey... forget him man, how about you hang with us and make jerky!" He smiled. He turned to Adam, realizing he wasn't paying attention, he shoved his elbow in his gut.

"Oww, I mean, yeahhh why don't you join the meat jerking boys or whatever." Adam went back to cutting up the cow and Blake rolled his eyes.

You laughed. "You call yourselves the meat jerking boys?" Blake shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much, so do you want to hang out with us?" You sighed. "Fuck it why not!"

You spent the rest of the night letting your frustration out on the 'pre-jerky' how Adam liked to call it. Cutting it up, stabbing it, beating it up so bad it was starting to look like a crime scene. You ended up taking an early leave, going to take a shower and lie in Anders bed. You drowned out the hard rock music the boys were playing, thinking of your 6'2ft, fresca loving goofball. You couldn't remember falling asleep, all you could remember was cuddling up in one of Anders' old tees and hugging his pillow. Letting his oddly forest-y scent engulf you.

You had felt something touching your face. Your hand went to swat it away. Again, something brushed across your cheek. "Get off." you mumbled reaching up and feeling your hand touching something cold. You opened your eyes suddenly scared by the random object caressing you. "What?!" you sat up hitting your head against Anders. "Oww." he groaned, rubbing his forehead from where he got hit. "What are you doing here?" you laid back down, covering yourself up again.

He chuckled. "I can ask the same question, you're the one in my bed." You rolled your eyes. "Why do you care? Shouldn't you be with your dad, driving around in your new car, trying to impress him with your fake life?" You sat up again. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "Hey maybe while you're at it, why don't you get a new girlfriend? Oh, wouldn't that be perfect? A perfect, meticulously chosen life all created by your father. Yeah, that would just be so great and why don't you take your new girlfriend and dad to this." You reached towards his bed side drawer, grabbing the tickets from the top. "Here, happy anniversary I guess." Your eyes getting teary, unable to stop your tears from falling. He grabbed the tickets from your hand and gasped. The Norwegian food festival, it was all Anders had been talking about the past three months. "You remembered.' His heart sank as he saw you just give a soft nod. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter anymore." He reached for you. "No. What? Come here." You pushed him away. "No Anders, you can't just make this go away with a hug! I don't care how hot or stupidly adorable your sleepy face looks. You lied and not just to anyone. It was to your dad. Really? Out of anyone, you just had to choose your dad?" Anders shook his head. " I can care less about what my dad says." He reached for you again. You let him hug you. You mumbled into his shirt letting your tears fall. "I wish I could believe you.' He pulled from you, not being able to hear you when you spoke into his shirt. "What was that?" He wiped the tears from your cheeks. "I know how you feel about your dad Anders. You're always trying to impress him, I just want to know why?"

He thought for a second. You couldn't help but snort. "It was a rhetorical question dumbass."

"Oh." He smiled at you. You sighed and laid your hands on his cheeks, it had been so long since you'd been able to even see him, much less touch him. You placed your forehead against his. "I just,,, I think you're the most beautiful, hardest working, sweetest, adorable goofy goober to exist and seeing you bend over backwards for your dad every time you get a call from him, makes me so pissed cause you're so perfect so why should you change the way you are for someone who doesn't appreciate you?"

Anders leaned forward and kissed you. His arms gripped you tightly, pulling you closer and closer every second. Your hands tangled in his hair, slightly pulling on it. You pulled apart for air but kept your hands in his hair. "I want to marry you." He smiled.

"Anders." you gasped.

"You're right Y/n. I'm always doing everything my father wants. I'm always trying to earn his love and respect when the only person I really care about is right in front of me." "Dersy.' your tears fell again. He started giving you pecks all over your face. " I'll tell him the truth tomorrow but for right now, I want to spend time with you." He laid down next to you and snuggled up as close as he could. "I love you." He snuggled his head into your neck. "I love you more." You smiled, feeling sleep catch up to you again. You guys spent the rest of the night cuddling and enjoy the comfortable silence. As quiet as it could be with Adam and Blake there.

[l-luxem]

&&　　decided to write my own ahahah. It's a silly little thing that's been in my notes app, rotting. So here it is. Love me some pretty boy Yans and tired workaholics. Not sure what to call this?? Is it a blurb?? Or???

PRETTY BOY! YAN X MALE! READER

(context: you know each other via dating app)

You stared at the pretty boy in front you with possibly the most blank expression humanly possible. He breaks into a sweat under your intense gaze, attempting to stare back at you before giving up. This was one hell of a date. Was this his punishment? Did you finally find out that he's been stalking you for months now and are staring in disgust at his frustratingly beautiful face?

He wept in silence, his smile faltering at the awkward atmosphere as you continued to stare at him with those handsomely yet concerning half-lidded eyes of yours that practically had your eye bags engraved around it (like seriously. he understood why you'd stay up late to work overtime but please just take a break).

He hoped something, anything would come out of your mouth.

"You know," oh thank God.

"Never thought you'd be this cute. Thought you were cat fishing me or something." You said with a nonchalant tone. He sighed in relief. So you weren't disgusted, you were just observing his handsome face.

"Honestly, I'd probably kill myself right here, right now."

He choked on air.

did he hear you correctly?

"I beg your pardon—??" He breathed out, concern very evident in his tone and in his face. You simply blinked in response before realizing what you'd just said;

"Oh—sorry. I'm not in a good mental state right now. You're just really attractive and I currently don't want to live."

He could only deadpan at that information. He knew of your issues, how could he not? From your wrinkled business attire to that raccoon den that you call your apartment, it was hard not to notice. Still, he loves you for that... Still concerned though.

(based off an image in Pinterest that I don't have with me rn)

[muffypollz]

ASHEDUE THE KISS REDRAW I LOVE YAOI

[mechazushi]

Kaiju Number 8 Incorrect Quotes <take 7>

Iharu: Truth or dare? Reno: Truth. Iharu: When was the last time you slept? Reno:... Reno: Dare. Iharu: GO TO BED. Reno: I don't like thIS GAME.

[epiphainie]

I can't choose sooooo 👨‍🔧 👨‍🔧 💍 💍 for the writing game!

@teabroomsandbooks @sad-girl-hours23 and anon 😅

sorry im getting through these so slowly. i didnt expect as many asks and got a bit overwhelmed but have a bit more of Buck and Tommy planning Eddie's wedding 🫶

___

Buck felt the presence behind him and knew it was Tommy before he even turned around. The reprimand ready at the tip of his tongue faltered for a beat at the sight of the man striding towards him with his perfectly, ridiculously, impossibly tidy hair.

"Hey--"

"Where were you?" Buck managed to eject, lest his reputation for being a demanding, controlling, micromanaging asshole got damaged, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Tommy stopped. His eyes did an up-and-down Buck's body, a fleeting little thing, but it managed to make Buck feel self-conscious about his jeans and hoodie getup and the stubble he didn't have time to shave off after his hell-wrought twenty-four. He didn't even want to think about his hair, left wet in the closed space of his car for the two hour drive, when Tommy stood there fixing the sleeves of his jacket that needed no fixing and running a hand over his head without a single hair out of place. Buck didn't know what he hated more. That the man didn't look he was twenty minutes late, didn't seem to be in any way worried or bothered about that fact, or that he just looked like... this. Good.

He shrugged at Buck, lips curling in a little smile. "Sorry, we ran a bit late."

Buck just stared at him. "...At your early morning golf practice?"

"Footgolf." Tommy nodded. "But yeah."

"Footgolf?"

The little curl of the lips gave way to a smirk. "Someone needs to spend this LAFD pension on bullshit hobbies while the rest of us, you, still save the day, Captain Buckley."

[hozukitofu]

idk what's weirder for iruka: konohamaru becoming a jounin sensei or shino becoming an academy teacher and both of them are his colleagues now instead of former students. one is a reformed prankster carbon copy of naruto and one spoke maybe four words to him during the entire time he knew the kid. imagine running into them in the staff room. i would need to leave immediately.

they also refuse to call him without honorifics or if this is a modern AU - mr umino/sir/sensei. iruka tries so hard to make them comfortable and feeling like they're his colleagues, to no avail. they got as far as 'iruka-sensei' and then promptly faltered.

all the little students look up to iruka as a superhero. their teacher's teacher. none of that silliness where they don't respect him - his disappointed face is lethal

[allgreekbitch]

Jonmartin pre-relationship sickfic where Jon is sick but, as the workaholic that he is, doesn’t stop to take a breath or relax or get better so Martin takes care of him.

“Jon?”

“Martin?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know… was passing by and heard really bad coughing from in here. You also sound like crap.”

“Well, thank you, Martin.”

“I didn’t mean—your voice just sounds kind of hoarse.”

Only Jon doesn’t realise he’s being taken cared of because at first he dismissed every worry and rejected every help, so Martin did it subtly. He kept bringing him tea, and

“Oh, I just had some leftover soup.”

“You… You came to my flat just to bring me leftover soup?”

“Yep! And this eucalyptus oil, it helps with a stuffy nose.”

“Right…”

And then, despite hating recording statements, Martin offered to record a few days’ worth of statements so Jon could rest. And whether he liked it or not, Jon stayed at home and under a blanket until Martin showed up after work again and to check on him.

I mean the vision is as clear as day.

[i-smoke-chapstick]

Anyone have ANY workaholics requests at all?? Please send them in my inbox I am FEINDING any character at all goes <3 smut fluff angst I’ll take it ALL I just needa write for these boys

[starry-briar]

Over the course of all the events Albedo has been in (and he’s been in a lot, compared to most characters), he’s gradually become more social. There’s a few reasons why this could be, including the Traveler’s influence, but one headcanon for it that only occurred to me last night is the creation of Cinnabar Spindle.

First, it’s important to remember that Albedo’s earlier lack of sociability was driven less by a general dislike of people and more by him having other priorities. For example, in “About Albedo: Socializing”, he says

Relationships are... quite troublesome. Once you establish a relation with someone, you must continue to maintain it; if you lose contact, you must reestablish the relation. This taxing cycle requires a lot of time... 

In his story quest, he also talks about living life efficiently, and how dispelling loneliness is not a required part of that, even though he also expresses that he enjoys company when possible.

In other words, he largely just dislikes the amount of time socializing requires.

And Albedo seems to be acutely aware of how he spends his time. From “Albedo’s Troubles”:

There's just never enough time, is there? Even when I remove the most troublesome matters from my schedule, I still can't find enough time for everything. 

It almost sounds like he’s running out of time, doesn’t it? Especially in conjunction with his infamous line about losing control.

But what if he found a way to buy himself more time?

Consider the description for Cinnabar Spindle:

A sword made from materials that do not belong in this world. The power within might even be able to withstand the corruption of a venom that could corrode a mighty dragon. 

So, it could be that, with Cinnabar Spindle at his side, Albedo is better able to withstand the corruption that Rhinedottir’s creations are prone to, for whatever reason. It may not completely purify him, but it does give him more leeway to do spend time on things other than researching what to do about the corruption.

[Continuation of this short thread on Twitter.]

[mishy-mashy]

Incorrect Shiki (OC) quotes

(Context: she's the coffee barista OC that Kudo saved and joined the Resistance)

~

Shiki: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Bruce: Throw rocks at he.

Yoichi: Hot Dogs.

Kudo: Kill him.

Shiki: Thanks guys.

-

Bruce: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Shiki, and Leader in an alleyway who I mistook for Shiki.

-

All For One: I have one of your friends.

Shiki: Which one? I have seven.

All For One: The self-sacrificial, no sense of self-preservation one, that'd kill themselves for a slice of pizza.

Shiki: Which one? I have seven.

Kudo, from AFO's vestige world: HEY!!!

-

Kudo: I would do anything for Yoichi.

*Later*

Kudo, atop a pile of dead bodies, choking on his own blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS.

-

All For One: So, you’ve finally arrived-

All For One: Here to continue our-

All For One: I’ve been waiting for this chance-

All For One: Stop skipping my dialogue-

All For One: Seriously, stop-

All For One: INSOLENT CUR-

-

Bruce: Do you want to explain the text you sent me yesterday?

Shiki: It was autocorrect.

Bruce: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Shiki: Yes.

-

Yoichi: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed!

Bruce:

Bruce: I'm gonna tell him.

Shiki: Don't you dare.

-

Kudo: What's wrong?

Yoichi, crying: It's just the onions.

Kudo: *picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Yoichi?

-

Shiki: Leader, we're running low on rations.

Kudo, eating a bowl of microwaved ketchup: What makes you think that?

-

Bruce: How long do you think it’ll be until Shiki finally snaps and murders someone?

Kudo: I assume it already happened and no one managed to trace it back to her.

-

Kudo: ARE YOU-

Banjo: Fucking.

Kudo: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Banjo: Fucking.

Kudo: IDIOT!

Nana: ... What was that?

Yoichi: Shiki-san banned Kudo from swearing, so Banjo-kun is helping him out.

-

Shinomori: I'm sorry for interrupting your date

Shiki: We aren't on a date?

Shinomori:

Shinomori: *turns to Bruce*

Shinomori: I'm sorry she's too stupid to realize she's on a date with you.

Shiki: What- What does that mean? Is this a date?

Bruce: I was kinda hoping it was, yeah.

*20+ years ago*

Kudo: Have fun on your date.

Shiki: It's not a date, dude. Bruce just asked if I wanted to go to the museum with him.

Kudo: *turns to Bruce*

Kudo: Are you sure about this one? She's dumb as fuck.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

I have such a good idea for a Hank x Gareth fic only question is can I actually write it

[uses-for-fics]

Do I make you randy?

Anders Holmvik x reader

A/n: guys it's my first time writing smut. Please go easy on me 😭 also this part of the podcast? No way did he mean it as a joke!!!

Word count: 1076

“Anders hurry up!!!” you yelled from the living room. You had finally gotten Ander's laptop connected to his living room TV. It had only taken 20 minutes but hey, were you excited for today’s movie night. It was your turn to pick the film so you decided to rewatch your favorite film of all time, ‘Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery’. You didn’t know what you liked most about the film. Austin’s goofiness, the costumes, or his overly horrible British accent that just made your stomach flip.

Your thoughts of the goofy spy got interrupted by your boyfriend walking into the living room. “You ready?” He set down the snacks he brought, onto the coffee table. “I’ve been waiting on you, ya goof.” You smiled and picked a spot on the couch. He playfully rolled his eyes and pressed play on his laptop. He took the spot next to you and covered yourselves with his blanket. “So, what film did you pick?”

Just as you were going to answer, the film's colorful title sequence started and you couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at Anders. He sighed. “No way.” You giggled. “What?”

“Babe! You choose this film every time! What’s so special about it?” Anders whined. You just smiled and patted his arm, curling into his side. “Oh come on, you know it’s just a silly goofy film I like.” Anders huffed. “Fine fine, only cause you like it, plus Mike Myers is pretty funny, but I get to choose the next two films.” You just shook your head and snuggled him tighter.

You guys got comfortable and snacked as the film played on. You couldn’t resist throwing your leg over anders leg in a way to get comfortable. Your leg twitching everytime Austin said ‘baby.’ You seriously couldn’t understand what it was about the ridiculous fictional Brit but oh did your stomach feel like it was turning into knots. You could only hope Anders didn’t notice, preferring not to look over at him when you’d twitch.

What you didn’t expect was Anders to playfully mimic Austin Powers' outlandish British accent. With a twinkle in his eye, he adopted the exaggerated tone, much to your amusement. “Do I make you Randy, baby~~?” Your face flushed. “What?” You giggled.

He continued. “Do I make you horny?” He repeated with that godawful accent. You twitched again. Anders placed his hand on your thigh that was over his leg. “What’s wrong, is my voice too distracting?” He smiled. Your face was turning redder by the second. His hand kept moving higher. “Anders.” You whispered. “It’s Anders powers to you.” He winked after using that ridiculous accent again. He got a grip on your waistband and fiddled with it. “Did you think I didn’t notice every time you’d hump my leg when he’d make a sultry comment?” Anders whispered next to your ear, dropping the accent. You sucked in your breath. He smirked and began to kiss your neck, nibbling and sucking on spots he knew you liked. You let out a soft sigh, letting his arm finally slip into your shorts. His hand slowly moves closer to your core. “Oh my.” You breathed out quietly. He massaged your clit for a bit until he stopped abruptly. You turned to look at him.

“Is everything ok?” Your eyes looked over his face and he just stared at you. Eyes scanning you. Finally, he just smiled and leaned til he was close to kissing you. “Can I taste you?” He used the stupid accent again. You couldn’t help but just shake your head a little too quickly. Anders wasted no time on laying you on your back. “Ack! Anders!” He climbed over you and started kissing your chest down to your belly. He gripped onto your shorts, slipping them off quickly with your underwear, tossing them god know where into the living room. That would be a problem for future you to deal with right now you just wanted this man to go crazy.

Anders sighed. He kissed your inner thighs. “This might be the most shaggadelic thing I’ve ever seen.” You couldn’t help but burst into laughter from the accent. “No way you just called my vagina, ‘shaggadelic’?” He blushed. “You’re laughing now but just you wait.” Anders got off the couch and onto his knees. He did work on his shirt and pulled your legs over his shoulders. He started with a slow stripe up. You let out a low moan, not expecting it to be so effective. Anders smiled at that. He did it again. You moved your hands down to his hair. He continued to just lap at your clit, putting one finger first. You gripped onto his hair. He started moving his finger in and out, going a bit faster on his tongue work. You tugged on his hair every time you felt a twitch. Anders took this as a sign to insert another digit. This time he started going faster and faster only getting encouragement every time he felt you twitch. You had started moaning loudly, not caring if Adam or Blake walked in or heard any of your lewd sounds. “Anders!” You panted. “I-I—don’t know—how much longer I can hold on.” You huffed in between words. Your legs have started to twitch. Anders placed his hand on your lower belly, this made you feel a whole new kind of pressure, pushing you over the edge. Your moans sounded almost pornographic as you came undone. Your hands let go of Ander's hair. He tried lapping up most of your juice, coming up to look at your panting figure after he felt everything come out. He smiled at you half lid, his mouth and chin covered in slick. “You feeling shaggadelic now?”

You huffed, still trying to regain your breathe. “I can’t with you sometimes.” Anders climbed onto the couch with you. “We have to definitely watch this movie more often.” You threw your head back and closed you eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.” You giggled. Anders just sighed and laid his head on your heaving chest.

Now, whenever Ders slips into that ridiculous accent, it serves as a potent aphrodisiac, instantly sparking desire in you. What started as a lighthearted joke during a movie night has evolved into a tantalizing game of seduction, adding a playful twist to your guy's intimate moments and keeping the flames of passion burning bright.

[templegate]

Why ate you brainrotting me into a ship that dosen't doesn't exist nooooooooo

Imposter×izuru my beloved

YEAH. I AGREE. Here I'll talk more about it and drag you deeper into the hole

I feel like im despair Izuru hated the Imposter because they had become a perfect imitator. Any of their actual personality being suppressed for the sake of imitation. Like a sort of Ego Death. Izuru hated it because it was too reminiscent of himself. But after the NWP I think they begin to bond.

I mean this is all headcanon-

but I always saw Izuru as a pretty subservient being. I mean the Hope's Peak people probably wanted a good amount of control over him. So he's not really an active person. Needing someone to point him in whatever direction.

Contrasted with the Imposter who is naturally a leader. They care a whole lot about people because they're so good at reading people. And despite their feeling that they lack an identity, they still have aspects that shine through.

Izuru is supposed to be a new personality. A metamorphosis after Hajime Hinata had been completely erased. But Izuru cannot seem to form an identity. Think about it. He never really has anything he cares about, people he cares about, likes or dislikes. Even his constant stating that hes bored is just a statement of fact. Not really said with any malice

While the Imposter is supposed to be nothing. Supposed to be someone who can become anything. And despite it. They have so much personality. They care about people, have a pension for leadership, love food and love their body. This isn't a person with no personality.

So they both fucked up what they were supposed to do. A person meant to be a void cares, and the person meant to care is a void.

That might be a source of jealousy between the two. It might not. But they're kind of polar opposites. The Imposter's understanding of people leads to them caring more for them. Willing to sacrifice themselves to save someone who they knew was dangerous. While Izuru understands people on such a deep level that he finds them boring. Disliking most people he interacts with and being generally apathetic. Being perfectly willing to sacrifice people around him.

And I think after the NWP, The Imposter starts to come into their own, since constantly pretending to be someone else is terrible for your mental health. They're not used to it at all. They take up a leadership role and kind of have a workaholic duo with Hajime and Izuru. Maybe the imposter also has a better time dealing with the Despair version of themself. Since they already are pretty good at compartmentalizing their identity.

While Izuru- I've spoken before how I think the return of Hajime Hinata to his headspace causes Izuru to like... Be able to be someone. Since the parts of his brain that were suppressed to destroy Hajime are reactivated- suddenly Izuru is like... Capable of feeling and caring for people, and having opinions and a personality. And i see them as a system too. So now Izuru is feeling all these things- is super overwhelmed and can't interpret any of them. And his headmate is there too and his emotions are even stronger.

And i imagine that Izuru has only one person who can possibly understand what it's like- The Imposter. So they have weird conversations with 12 layers of context and subterfuge. And then maybe they kiss as well.

It's literally because they are such great foils to eachother too. Like i wish it was brought up in canon cause they're sooooo similar and yet so different.

[pretendfan]

{ Liquid Dreams }

(This is my first Workaholics fic, if anyone reads this I will be so happy, because the story is ridiculous and their fandom isn’t on here, helloooooo anyone, but I love these dudes so much, rewatching the show has landed me here so enjoy…this is also posted on AO3)

Gen:

Anders Holmvik/Blake Henderson/Adam DeMamp

Story:

(What happens when you add dem boyz and a pile of old Cosmopolitan magazines?)

(This story answers that question and more…)

♥️5K♥️

WARNINGS 18 PLUS : mentions of cranking it, drug use, drinking alcohol, let’s talk about sex, bro humour, swearing aplenty, very much like an episode of the show, the dudes learn somethings, Adam is misogynistic, Blake is a babe, Anders is such a dad…

“I can’t help you there dude you are just gonna have to decide for yourself.” Adam DeMamp explains with a shrug as he roller blades confidently in the street, next to his best bud who was biting his bottom lip deep in thought.

“Yeah but what if the pills actually work and they make my hog bigger?” Blake Henderson questions whilst performing a quick spin, as if to prove his point that the subscription was a really fucking good idea.

“It definitely wouldn’t be able to fit in those pants of yours, because why are they so tight you need to really give your balls some breathing room!” Adam declares loudly skating ahead whilst holding his arms high above his head.

“My boxers are loose enough but that isn’t the question, what I’m asking-“

“Is if pills to enlarge your dick will work or better yet you can just get a pump and we can share it!” Adam stops suddenly and Blake almost crashes into him, but breaks just in time for the battered cart that he was pulling along, to bash pretty hard against his leg.

“I love you dude truly, but neither you or Anders would ever use my dick pump if I bought one-“

“That’s just selfish-“

“Dude, where the hell is this garden stuff you saw that was free to take?” Blake cuts off Adam before he starts to whine, because soon the tantrums would begin and it was too early for any of that bullshit.

“Just along here bro calm down-“

“I haven’t had my red bull yet dude so I’m still tired.” Blake groans at the same time that he notices Adam pulling an uninterested face in return.

“Oh, I’m sorry that I rushed into your room and excitedly told you all about the incredible treasures that I had found!” Adam retorts whilst throwing his hands back up in the air in exasperation.

“No, you just jumped on my bed Adam and punched me until I woke up, also interrupting my pretty sweet dream-“

“We can’t all dream like you Blake, are we not men of action?” Adam cuts off his friend with a confident smirk.

“My dream was very important actually involving Nickelodeon slime, the bright green kind and one of my favourites Lacey Jams.” Blake informs Adam who of course isn’t listening as he sets off again on his blades.

“Cool story bro.” Adam chants as they both avoid a passing car, the driver rewarding them with a weird look but neither of them cared.

“We are allowed to blade on the street sir!” Blake announces waving at the guy who just continues to drive ahead, whilst Adam flips him the bird.

“Stupid drivers-“ Begins Adam but then he suddenly points ahead and shouts “There’s the treasure!”

Blake follows his roommate and stops in front of a house which was of course way tidier than theirs, with tall dark green bushes out front that framed the house, completed perfectly by the pile of old crap sitting next to the curb.

“Dude, this is junk-“

“Yeah, but it’s all ours Blake!” Adam cheers cutting off his curly haired friend, who gives him a disbelieving look right back.

“How are we getting all this back to the house? Shouldn’t we have asked Ders to help us.” Blake questions still not fully awake because he was tired and of course horny, but Adam had ruined his chances of waking up in a good mood.

“Blake, that’s why you’ve got that cart dude are you even on board with this-“

“I don’t even know what day it is.” Blake mutters whilst brushing his mess of hair back with both hands.

“Come on, let’s go! It will only take a couple of trips and look haven’t you seen the inflatables?” Adam questions with a faux shocked voice.

“I bet they are all busted-“

“Dude, stop being a buzz kill” snaps Adam literally stamping one of his feet, which almost causes him to fall flat on his ass but Blake grabs his arm to save him.

“I just wanted a few more minutes alone in bed-“

“To jerk it? Is this all because you haven’t had any hand fun yet, come on Blake I’ve done it three times already.” Jokes Adam with loud laugh.

“How the hell could I when you fucking woke me up?” Blake questions beyond frustrated right now as he asks “Can we just get this done because Ders is gonna start wondering where the hell we are.”

“Just promise me that as soon as we’re finished you go take a shower and treat yourself, use some of Anders lotion in the bathroom.” Adam smiles happily at Blake who grins back equally amused.

“You mean the green bottle-“

“Yeah, do you use it as well then?” Adam asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Dude, I’ve had to replace it-“

“No shit!” Laughs Adam as he bends down to pick up a deflated palm tree, complete with muddy grime on it, but throwing it in their pool would clean it up of course.

“Let’s not tell Ders about that though-“

“Of course not, bro code or some shit.” Adam cuts off Blake with a firm nod adding “Now grab some damn stuff and let’s go!”

“It is a really nice lotion though.” Chuckles back Blake as he picks up a patio umbrella, with a large palm tree design on it clearly these people liked a theme.

In the end it takes the pair over two hours to get all the stuff, with Ders saying he wouldn’t help them he was clearly too busy and the pair of course needing a blunt break, because Blake had been verging on battering Adam with one of the garden chairs they had taken.

Finally with all the treasures out the back as Adam called them, Blake however just saw it as junk but a beat up plastic grey box held a degree of interest, yet right now all he really cared about was finally taking a shower.

It had actually been fun to skate back and forth, well once the weed had kicked in he felt better for a while, until Adam had started talking about a pool party that they should totally have next weekend.

Which sounded dope but from previous experience it was always a sausage fest, and all Blake wanted to see were chicks in bikini’s for once, the thought makes a warm heat spread across his stomach.

Noticing Adam saluting him with a beer from the kitchen Blake nods with a cheeky smirk, as he heads into the bathroom whilst trying to decide, what scenario to use in his head first because he was a guy who liked a storyline after all.

“Don’t be too long in there!” Anders states when he hears the bathroom door lock, glancing back at Adam who has a funny look on his face.

“Give the dude a break he hasn’t cranked it yet today-“

“But hadn’t we all agreed that the shower was off limits?” Cuts in Anders in a warning tone.

“Sure, but you can’t tell me that you don’t pay extra special attention to your little guy in the shower!” Adam retorts with a snort like an amused warthog.

“Of course I fucking do that’s why my favourite lotion is in there-“

“Is that the one in the green bottle?” Adam asks innocently but fails as a grin spreads across his face.

“Please tell me you don’t-“

“I bet Blake is using it right now.” Adam cuts off Ders whilst grabbing another beer from the fridge beside him.

“Is nothing sacred in this house?” Snaps Anders who walks out of the kitchen angrily.

“I also use your laptop Ders.” Adam mutters to himself with a chuckle, because they didn’t hide anything here, and his tall roommate had all the important passwords.

It is late afternoon when the guys regroup again with Adam having set up the junk out in the yard, the lawn chairs and umbrella out alongside various inflatables which included a pizza and pink dolphin, all of which were half blown up in the pool.

“How romantic.” Anders deadpans as he steps out into the yard, noticing the dented metal table and blue plastic kid’s pool, which Adam had half filled with snacks.

“I like to wine and dine, before I sixty nine dude you know this.” Adam chirps happily as he sits down at the edge of the pool, shirtless of course dipping his toes into the warm water.

“When ever have you-“

“Ugh I feel so much better after that nap, because I was definitely sleepy after my shower!” Blake announces cutting off whatever Ders had been saying with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, let’s hope I have some fucking body lotion left-“

“Adam, you told on me?” Blake questions whilst trying to not look caught out when clearly he already was.

“Wait a sec-“

“Neither of you can ever go near my lotion again.” Anders states with a stern look as his eyes scan, from stupid Adam to Blake who was pulling a ridiculous face.

“Now that’s all cleared up, permission to join the party now dudes?” Blake asks with a smile as Adam holds a thumb up, and Ders mutters something about going to grab some beers.

“Permission granted, now let’s play a few slam dunks over the pool before the pizza gets here!” Adam demands whilst spinning round to get out of the pool, only to slip and fall back in sideways which makes Blake laugh loudly.

“Zero points for that dismount dude!” Blake yells at the same time that Adam raises his head above water spluttering all the while.

“All part of my plan, because if there were any chicks here right now they would all jump in and rescue me.” Adam shouts and coughs as he doggy paddles to the edge of the pool.

“Sure buddy-“

“Ready for some beers dudes?” Cuts in Anders reappearing with a large red cooler, placing it down on top of the plastic grey box, beside the palm tree umbrella.

Before anyone can reply there is a crash and the box breaks, causing the cooler to tip but Anders grabs it before the contents is spilled, although he wasn’t really looking because something else had suddenly caught his eye.

“What broke-“

“Guys, we’ve hit jackpot!” Anders announces cutting off Blake as he bends down to pick up a magazine, turning it round to show the guys who glance at one another awkwardly.

“Want some fashion tips Ders?” Adam questions with a scoff as his friend sighs, whilst Ders continues to wave the copy of Cosmopolitan excitedly in his hand.

“No wait, don’t they have like these sex quizzes in those things?” Blake asks out loud causing Adam to slow clap and Anders to flip the magazine open.

“Ten ways to impress your man-“

“Erm, I’m not into that dude.” Adam shakes his head firmly noticing the look on Blake’s face.

“But we can learn what women would do to us, if we ever met any and managed to actually bring them back here.” Blake states sarcastically the thought bumming him out momentarily.

“This could help us then!” Anders demands closing the magazine gently, like he didn’t want to leave sticky finger prints on any of the pages.

“Yeah to jerk off later to-“

“That’s a given, but for now we could learn something from these shiny magazines.” Anders states looking down to see more in the broken box, alongside an empty bottle of wine, also a photocopied picture of what looked like bridesmaids.

“Well I get first dibs because it’s my treasure after all!” Adam informs them both with an ached eyebrow and a challenging look on his face.

“Dude I helped you.” Blake reminds him lamely.

“Stop guys! Let’s just sit here and start looking there seems to be a whole bunch of them, and a picture of some random bridesmaids.” Anders nods with an excited smile on his face.

“I call dibs on the bridesmaids!” Blake raises a hand excitedly whilst Adam rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but for now let’s crack open a few beers and take a couple of quizzes.” Ders smirks as he takes a seat, on one of the old lawn chairs, praying silently that it won’t break on him.

“We are definitely not telling anyone about this-“

“Of course not dude, now shut up and sit down!” Blake informs Adam as they sit down on a chair and the cooler separately, grabbing a magazine each from the messy pile on the floor.

Silence fills the backyard as the guys look at their magazines, each with their own mixed thoughts until eventually the door bell rings, and finally Blake looks away in time to catch the pizza dude.

Hurrying back in Blake dumps the pizza on top of the cooler, taking a seat on the floor instead as he watches Ders lift up the box lid and they all dive in, still silent neither of them glancing at one another just lost in the pages under their noses.

“Oh there are so many hot women in these magazines-“

“Fully clothes sadly.” Adam cuts off Blake as dusk starts settling in, and he quickly looking up to pour out some beer in honour of his loss.

“Yeah, but check out some of the sex pages they have a lot of toys.” Anders nods with a smirk, glancing at his friends who chuckle back like awkward teenagers.

“My flesh-light is way better than any rabbit toy!” Adam announces as he reads something and then asks “Hey, where is the clitoris?”

“It’s not anywhere near the butthole, that’s all I know!” Jokes Blake with a soft giggle, brushing some mangled hair behind one of his ears.

“It’s at the top-“

“Dude I know that I was just joking!” Laughs Blake whilst wiping an imaginary tear from his right eye.

“Are you sure-“

“Dammit I know ok!” Blake snaps causing Adam to hit him on the head with a rolled up magazine.

“You need to get laid.” Jokes Anders whilst Adam cheers and nods in agreement.

“Yeah well, so do you two!” Blake chokes back with a dark look on his face, as he chugs down the rest of his beer.

“No offence but you could sure use some help closing Blake, so maybe there is something in one of these damn cosmos.” Adam states with a fake smile attached to his lame sentiment.

“Again, take your own advice dude.” Blake retorts whilst poking his tongue out at his friend.

“Now guys-“

“I’m going to kill you!” Screams Adam cutting off whatever Ders was about to say, as he proceeds to dramatically launch himself at Blake who was already on the floor.

“Dude, get off me!” Blake yells whilst trying to push Adam off him, as the pair roll around freakishly close to the pool fighting like idiots.

“I’m not getting involved.” Anders informs them diplomatically.

Seconds later Blake pushes Adam into the pool, but he manages to grab onto Blake’s tee shirt and they both fall in together, a warm breeze moving the page that Ders was reading as he tries to ignore the chaos.

“I’m pissed now!” Blake declares getting out of the pool, taking off his tee shirt which makes Anders look up and Adam scoff as he splashes around in the water.

“Dude put your tee shirt back on.” Adam sighes with a shake of his head.

“Jealous Adam are we?” Blake smirks as he holds his arms up high above his head, a move that he knew showed off his sleek frame and muscles.

“Of you?” Questions Adam with a hysterical laugh like he had just understood the world’s funniest punchline.

“You’ve even got those damn Usher lines Blake!” Ders cries out loudly pointing a finger at him almost accusingly.

“And with that I’m heading to the roof-“

“Come back here and fight!” Adam shouts splashing water again as Ders dives to save the magazines.

“Let him cool off, you just need to stop attacking the dude.” Anders tells Adam in a serious voice, which makes him think he sounds like his dad causing Ders to shudder.

“He started it-“

“Dude enough, now tell me about this pool party idea, and then I will show you the swimsuit issue!” Anders cheers causing Adam to rush out of the pool excitedly.

“Holding out as always Ders?” Adam asks with a pointed look.

“Dude you have to see it!” Anders smirks smugly because he would definitely be taking the magazine to his room later.

Blake meanwhile is drying off with one of the towels on the roof, hopefully it was Adam’s one but they borrow a lot of each other’s stuff, so it was hard to determine who owned what nowadays.

Tying the hair band from his wrist Blake puts his wet hair into a low ponytail, just so it’s out of his face as he closes his eyes, and tries to listen to what his roommates were talking about.

Blake was self conscious about a lot of things especially seeing how good looking his bros were, sure he gave back as good as he got some days, but right now he felt annoyed mostly at himself and the fact that he wanted another beer.

Also a hit on his bong that was currently sat untouched downstairs wouldn’t hurt either, but he was up here now on the roof and wanted to prove a point, unsure what exactly but Blake was hella pissed that his friends kept taking shots at him.

“We should go and see him.” Anders looks up on the roof a while later, to see that Blake was still up there, he was surprised the dude hadn’t gone to his room to sulk.

“Blake’s fine-“

“I think that we need to help him meet someone.” Anders cuts off Adam stating the truth because Blake was pretty inexperienced, but it wasn’t as if him or Adam were rocking high numbers either.

“Dude needs a makeover!” Adam cries waving a page at Ders from his magazine.

“You need to reign it in-“

“No hear me out, we tidy up the dudes hair and face moustache, then perhaps add some clear mascara bring out the blue in his eyes.” Adam states eyes firmly on the page he was reading from, not noticing the look that Ders was giving him right now.

“Blake’s just shy-“

“Crazy awkward around chicks!” Adam bellows with a laugh which makes Anders throw his magazine at him.

“I can hear you dudes.” Blake shouts down in a deep voice, wishing himself that he had just gone back to his bedroom and crashed out instead.

Anders grabs the cooler whilst Adam silently picks up some of the Cosmos , and they both make their way up to the roof quickly, it was time for a dude summit to talk some real shit.

Blake watches as they both struggle to get up to the roof, he could offer to help with the cooler but instead he stays put in his seat, until his conscious gets the better of him and he silently snatches said item from Ders hand.

“Thanks dude.” Anders says with a nod as he sits down on a lawn chair with a sigh.

“Here.” Adam opens the cooler and pulls out a fresh beer, handing it over to Blake who silently accepts the peace offering.

“Sorry we went too far this time and-“

“You’ve done a lot worse before than this.” Blake cuts off Ders with a closed off look but not without adding “I guess we all can push each other to the limits sometimes.”

“Yeah like that time you cut the brake wires on Ders car -“

“That was you?!” Anders snaps at Blake who tries and fails to look innocent.

“That was back when I was heavily watching the timeless movie that is “Speed” all the time.” Blake shrugs with a smile.

“Yeah but isn’t that movie about a bomb on a bus and they can’t go over a certain speed limit?” Adam asks with a confused look on his face.

“Well yeah but I had tried to place a fake bomb on the Vo’ but just ended up accidentally cutting the stupid wire.” Blake tells Adam whilst avoiding the daggers that were coming from Ders eyes.

“You need to grow up-“

“Dude you were playing along too it was the time we had taken the last of the Adderall, and you were the Dennis Hopper character!” Blake reminds Adam with an arched eyebrow and a smirk.

“Pop quiz, hot shot.” Adam quotes in a voice sounding similar to the aforementioned actor.

“I think you owe me some money dude because I had to take the car to the garage-“

“I can’t afford anything.” Blake cuts off Ders hurriedly.

“I was joking, but don’t ever mess with my damn car again!” Anders laughs but there is still a warning tone in his voice.

“We all mess with one another, that’s what bros do but me and Ders have decided that what we should do now is help you!” Adam shouts excitedly, wobbling in his seat a little but he steadies himself quickly.

“Help me, with what?” Blake asks cautiously because both his dudes were giving him a manic look.

“Meet a real-life chick and close-“

“Oh, like you both have extensive knowledge on this!” Cuts off Blake making a noise in his throat to prove a point.

“Well these magazines might help-“

“I think that you both need to be cut off dudes .” Blake begins with a wide eyed look that disappears as he says quietly “What could those things possibly say that would help me?”

“Let’s take a look!” Ders announces sensing the dip in the mood as he picks up a magazine and flips it open hurriedly.

“Another beer-“

“Here, listen to this!” Anders cuts off Adam as he hold up a page and reads out loud “ What women really want, and it’s not what you think.”

“First of all guys are more intelligent than girls that is a fact!” Adam shouts loudly and then takes it home by saying “ Girls lie they say that they will call you and then you’re speaking to a pizza place.”

“I’m sorry that happened-“

“Ain’t no thang!” Adam cuts off Ders as he then elaborates “ I met another chick that night at said pizza place and we made out in her car.”

“Nice dude.” Blake nods with a grin at his best friend.

“See Blake, that’s your problem right there-“

“I thought we were being nice to one another again?” Begins Blake cutting off Anders as he quips that “Those magazines are making you bitchy as hell man.”

“Blake, you need to grow a pair dude!” Adam chimes in which makes Ders clap in agreement.

“I told you guys that I was a late bloomer-“

“No, not that! What I mean is set your sights on someone and go for it dude.” Ders states in a sage voice, the kind that usually works in a chaotic moment.

“Did you learn that from the glossy you’re holding? Because that’s bad advice dude.” Adam tuts at Anders who rolls his eyes right back.

“So what advice do you have then?” Blake asks Adam finishing his beer and burping loudly as he chucks the empty can behind him.

“It’s so easy.” Adam begins eyes flitting between his two friends as he wriggle his eyebrows and says “ Two words, pool party.”

“Well that’s four words-“

“Stop being a nerd!” Adam snaps at Blake who looks down at the magazines and grudgingly picks one up.

“Nerds are soon to be the next big thing, so stop being a loser Adam.” Blake retorts eyes glancing the pages, until he stops at the swim suit section.

“Enjoy dude.” Winks Anders pulling an excited face.

From here on out the night rides on with Blake studying the swimsuits his bong resting between this feet, Adam asking Anders questions about an anal sex quiz, and the leftover beers growing warm because the cooler lid had been left open.

Anders cannot believe how much he is learning right now, sure the porn he watches religiously keeps him in the know, but these pages offered a fresh perspective and it was making his denim pants tighten as a result.

Meanwhile Adam is wondering to himself if he could wear more pink would it suit his hair colour, or maybe purple could help illuminate his brown eyes bring out the colour of his lips, fuck now he was debating whether he could pull off shorts.

Glancing up at his two friends, who were far to immersed in their own reading material to notice, Blake rolls his eyes because tonight has been weird with a capital W and normally he rolled for times like this.

But things had gotten personal and unless he mentions the idea of a girlfriend out loud, he hated being frogmarched into a conversation about his inability to date, because news flash he knew first hand but times might soon be a changing.

Not sure how out yet but Blake needed to be more confident, maybe he could fake it and show the world that he meant business, all he wanted was to finally lose is cherry because he had been dumped many times before he even had a chance.

“Hey guys, do you think I have an apple or an hourglass figure?” Adam questions breaking into the silence with serious question in real time.

Anders literally drops the magazine from his hands, whilst Blake shapes his fingers into a rectangle frame placing them up to his face, so he can check out Adam who is obviously waiting for an answer.

“What is happening right now?” Anders questions with a confused look on his face.

“I was just asking a question-“

“Well those shapes are referring to women’s bodies and not dudes, so I think it’s time that we should step away from these things.” Anders states cutting off Adam as he knocks the magazine from his hands.

“Yet we still have some many unanswered questions Ders.” Blake replies sarcastically which makes Adam nod in the affirmative.

“You two are beyond help-“

“And you need to lighten up dude!” Adam talks over Anders with a grin, as the guys make the awkward descent from the roof.

“Someone has to be a grown up.” Ders retorts in a tired tone.

“Sucks to be you bro!” Blake chants until he almost slips down the last bit of trellis, grabbing onto Adam’s shoulders so he didn’t croak it.

“I disagree-“

“Just know that I’m doing fine bro.” Blake announces almost believing it himself, as he not so subtly picks up a magazine from the floor near the pool.

“We all are dude, but just that know my stock is the highest!” Adam states firmly almost standing on Blake’s foot, as he dips down to also grab some reading material for his bedtime

“Have you hit your head again?” Ders asks Adam in a shocked voice as he explains “ I feel like I’m the top gun round here.”

“He’s a real life Tom Cruise over there!” Blake announces in a loud voice.

“Clearly he’s too tall to be Cruise-“

“We all know that I’m Bradley Cooper.” Anders cuts off Adam whilst closing the palm tree umbrella, at the same time locating the magazine he needed to help him sleep.

“Yeah if you’re in the dark perhaps.” Adam retorts which makes Blake splutter out a laugh, and Ders glare at them both as they all make their way finally back inside the house.

“Well this has all been a blast but I’m off to bed now.” Blake announces with a fake yawn despite it being earlier than usual, he tucks aforementioned magazine under his arm with an awkward smile plastered across his face.

“Yeah it’s been such a long day.” Nods Anders picking up his tie from the messy coffee table, wrapping it around his book with a nod.

“Time to go crank it hard dudes.” Adam declares with an overzealous wink, leaning past Blake to grab the box of tissues from the small diner table by the wall.

“There is this new oil that I have been meaning to try.” Anders smirks back at Adam who nods happily.

“Man, you ought to come see my set up someday I’ve got lube for days bro!” Adam states with a chuckle glancing at Blake who looks visibly embarrassed.

“Don’t be shy dude!” Adam nudges Blake hard with his hip as he explains “We all do it bro, and I’ve definitely heard you.”

“Yeah well you’re not exactly quiet either Adam.” Blake retorts with a smile stating “ I like to wear my headphones and set the scene, add some candles and never ever rush.”

“Sounds really romantic Blake.” Anders rolls his eyes at Adam with an unattractive snort.

“They don’t call me a ladies man for nothing-“

“That’s because they don’t dude.” Adam cuts off Blake as he pats him hard on the back adding “You need to be more like me, all the DeMamp men are very sexual.”

“I guess you’re the odd one out then right Adam?” Anders cracks making Blake laugh loudly whilst brushing some curly hair from his face.

“I rocked the world of those four and half girls at college, I bet I’m all they still think about.” Adam retorts in a sulky voice which makes Blake pat his friend on the shoulder.

“Half a girl-“

“Don’t ask!” Cuts in Blake raising both of his hands in front of Anders face, whilst Adam shrugs and mutters something that no one can make out.

“On that note then, I’m off to bed.” Anders nods as he starts to walk to his room.

“Don’t start crying again dude like you did last time!” Adam laughs loudly as he follows suit to his room, almost dropping his box of tissues in the process.

“That was only because you put on Matchbox twenty!” Anders retorts making Blake shake his head with a playful chuckle.

“Need I remind you that the song “Push” is fucking classic!” Blake states placing a hand on one of his hips at the same time.

“Thats true.” Begins Anders who then reminds his friend “But please don’t go burning the house down with your candles dude.”

“Not after last time-“

“Dude, what did you do?!” Cuts in Anders ignoring the look on Blake’s face as he gets to his bedroom door.

The three of the stop outside together smiles and nods aplenty, as they bring the night to an early close.

“Good humping boys!” Blake states with a cheeky smirk.

“Night guys.” Anders nods with a crinkle in his eyes.

“If you hear me screaming, don’t come a knocking!” Adam declares hopping up in the air to hit the top of the door frame with a flourish.

With that three doors simultaneously open and close, whilst one is locked and another changes their mind leaving it ajar, then moments later the opening chords to an O - Town song begins to play through the last door.

LETS GET WEIRD…

[doodlinge]

this is for a fic and i need ANSWERS

if u say casual clothes, what would his general go to outfit be