#anders holmvik fic

[uses-for-fics]

Are you ashamed of me?

Anders Holmvik/ Fem Reader

a/n: he looks so cute right here!! i cant explain it.

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You had been working overtime the past whole week, so you had not been able to meet up with your boyfriend, Anders, for a few days. After work, you were too exhausted to hang out with him and would instead eat, take a shower, and head straight to bed. You were putting in extra hours to save up for your upcoming anniversary, which coincided with the Norwegian food festival that you had bought tickets for a few weeks ago. You planned to spoil him with every dish his heart desired. Since you were getting off work around 3 pm today, you decided to head over to his place after work. Expecting him to arrive not long after you had reached his place. You approached the door and heard loud mechanical sounds from inside. After knocking again, you finally received a response of "GOING!". A blood-covered Blake opened the door. He smiled realizing it was you. “Oh! Hey y/n! No overtime today?”

You raised a brow at how nonchalant he was behaving even though he was covered head to toe in blood. “Yeah, I finally saved up enough so no more overtime this week and I'm off work tomorrow, so I got Anders all to myself.” Blake made space for you to come in.

He winced as you passed by. “Ooo if only you were here a bit earlier.” you turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“You don't know?” he tilted his head.

“Know what?” You stopped in place.

“Anders isn't here!” Adam yelled from the kitchen. “Where is he?” you yelled back, heading towards the kitchen. “HIS DAD- oh you're here now.” Adam stopped yelling after seeing you walk into the kitchen.

“Oh my god! What are you guys doing?” you gasped. The kitchen was covered in blood. Adam was attacking a strung-up cow with a chainsaw, not caring where the blood was splattering.

“We're making jerky.” Blake had finally reached the kitchen.

“What? Ok, you know what, not important. Where's Anders?” you shook your head. Adam put down the chainsaw. “His dad came for him. They're out buying a car right now.

"Oh." You looked down soaking in the new information. 'Why wouldn't he tell you his father was in town? Was he ashamed of you?' You shook your head not trying to imagine the worst. Blake noticed your sudden change in mood. "Hey... forget him man, how about you hang with us and make jerky!" He smiled. He turned to Adam, realizing he wasn't paying attention, he shoved his elbow in his gut.

"Oww, I mean, yeahhh why don't you join the meat jerking boys or whatever." Adam went back to cutting up the cow and Blake rolled his eyes.

You laughed. "You call yourselves the meat jerking boys?" Blake shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much, so do you want to hang out with us?" You sighed. "Fuck it why not!"

You spent the rest of the night letting your frustration out on the 'pre-jerky' how Adam liked to call it. Cutting it up, stabbing it, beating it up so bad it was starting to look like a crime scene. You ended up taking an early leave, going to take a shower and lie in Anders bed. You drowned out the hard rock music the boys were playing, thinking of your 6'2ft, fresca loving goofball. You couldn't remember falling asleep, all you could remember was cuddling up in one of Anders' old tees and hugging his pillow. Letting his oddly forest-y scent engulf you.

You had felt something touching your face. Your hand went to swat it away. Again, something brushed across your cheek. "Get off." you mumbled reaching up and feeling your hand touching something cold. You opened your eyes suddenly scared by the random object caressing you. "What?!" you sat up hitting your head against Anders. "Oww." he groaned, rubbing his forehead from where he got hit. "What are you doing here?" you laid back down, covering yourself up again.

He chuckled. "I can ask the same question, you're the one in my bed." You rolled your eyes. "Why do you care? Shouldn't you be with your dad, driving around in your new car, trying to impress him with your fake life?" You sat up again. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "Hey maybe while you're at it, why don't you get a new girlfriend? Oh, wouldn't that be perfect? A perfect, meticulously chosen life all created by your father. Yeah, that would just be so great and why don't you take your new girlfriend and dad to this." You reached towards his bed side drawer, grabbing the tickets from the top. "Here, happy anniversary I guess." Your eyes getting teary, unable to stop your tears from falling. He grabbed the tickets from your hand and gasped. The Norwegian food festival, it was all Anders had been talking about the past three months. "You remembered.' His heart sank as he saw you just give a soft nod. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter anymore." He reached for you. "No. What? Come here." You pushed him away. "No Anders, you can't just make this go away with a hug! I don't care how hot or stupidly adorable your sleepy face looks. You lied and not just to anyone. It was to your dad. Really? Out of anyone, you just had to choose your dad?" Anders shook his head. " I can care less about what my dad says." He reached for you again. You let him hug you. You mumbled into his shirt letting your tears fall. "I wish I could believe you.' He pulled from you, not being able to hear you when you spoke into his shirt. "What was that?" He wiped the tears from your cheeks. "I know how you feel about your dad Anders. You're always trying to impress him, I just want to know why?"

He thought for a second. You couldn't help but snort. "It was a rhetorical question dumbass."

"Oh." He smiled at you. You sighed and laid your hands on his cheeks, it had been so long since you'd been able to even see him, much less touch him. You placed your forehead against his. "I just,,, I think you're the most beautiful, hardest working, sweetest, adorable goofy goober to exist and seeing you bend over backwards for your dad every time you get a call from him, makes me so pissed cause you're so perfect so why should you change the way you are for someone who doesn't appreciate you?"

Anders leaned forward and kissed you. His arms gripped you tightly, pulling you closer and closer every second. Your hands tangled in his hair, slightly pulling on it. You pulled apart for air but kept your hands in his hair. "I want to marry you." He smiled.

"Anders." you gasped.

"You're right Y/n. I'm always doing everything my father wants. I'm always trying to earn his love and respect when the only person I really care about is right in front of me." "Dersy.' your tears fell again. He started giving you pecks all over your face. " I'll tell him the truth tomorrow but for right now, I want to spend time with you." He laid down next to you and snuggled up as close as he could. "I love you." He snuggled his head into your neck. "I love you more." You smiled, feeling sleep catch up to you again. You guys spent the rest of the night cuddling and enjoy the comfortable silence. As quiet as it could be with Adam and Blake there.

[i-smoke-chapstick]

Anyone have ANY workaholics requests at all?? Please send them in my inbox I am FEINDING any character at all goes <3 smut fluff angst I’ll take it ALL I just needa write for these boys

[pretendfan]

{ Liquid Dreams }

(This is my first Workaholics fic, if anyone reads this I will be so happy, because the story is ridiculous and their fandom isn’t on here, helloooooo anyone, but I love these dudes so much, rewatching the show has landed me here so enjoy…this is also posted on AO3)

Gen:

Anders Holmvik/Blake Henderson/Adam DeMamp

Story:

(What happens when you add dem boyz and a pile of old Cosmopolitan magazines?)

(This story answers that question and more…)

♥️5K♥️

WARNINGS 18 PLUS : mentions of cranking it, drug use, drinking alcohol, let’s talk about sex, bro humour, swearing aplenty, very much like an episode of the show, the dudes learn somethings, Adam is misogynistic, Blake is a babe, Anders is such a dad…

“I can’t help you there dude you are just gonna have to decide for yourself.” Adam DeMamp explains with a shrug as he roller blades confidently in the street, next to his best bud who was biting his bottom lip deep in thought.

“Yeah but what if the pills actually work and they make my hog bigger?” Blake Henderson questions whilst performing a quick spin, as if to prove his point that the subscription was a really fucking good idea.

“It definitely wouldn’t be able to fit in those pants of yours, because why are they so tight you need to really give your balls some breathing room!” Adam declares loudly skating ahead whilst holding his arms high above his head.

“My boxers are loose enough but that isn’t the question, what I’m asking-“

“Is if pills to enlarge your dick will work or better yet you can just get a pump and we can share it!” Adam stops suddenly and Blake almost crashes into him, but breaks just in time for the battered cart that he was pulling along, to bash pretty hard against his leg.

“I love you dude truly, but neither you or Anders would ever use my dick pump if I bought one-“

“That’s just selfish-“

“Dude, where the hell is this garden stuff you saw that was free to take?” Blake cuts off Adam before he starts to whine, because soon the tantrums would begin and it was too early for any of that bullshit.

“Just along here bro calm down-“

“I haven’t had my red bull yet dude so I’m still tired.” Blake groans at the same time that he notices Adam pulling an uninterested face in return.

“Oh, I’m sorry that I rushed into your room and excitedly told you all about the incredible treasures that I had found!” Adam retorts whilst throwing his hands back up in the air in exasperation.

“No, you just jumped on my bed Adam and punched me until I woke up, also interrupting my pretty sweet dream-“

“We can’t all dream like you Blake, are we not men of action?” Adam cuts off his friend with a confident smirk.

“My dream was very important actually involving Nickelodeon slime, the bright green kind and one of my favourites Lacey Jams.” Blake informs Adam who of course isn’t listening as he sets off again on his blades.

“Cool story bro.” Adam chants as they both avoid a passing car, the driver rewarding them with a weird look but neither of them cared.

“We are allowed to blade on the street sir!” Blake announces waving at the guy who just continues to drive ahead, whilst Adam flips him the bird.

“Stupid drivers-“ Begins Adam but then he suddenly points ahead and shouts “There’s the treasure!”

Blake follows his roommate and stops in front of a house which was of course way tidier than theirs, with tall dark green bushes out front that framed the house, completed perfectly by the pile of old crap sitting next to the curb.

“Dude, this is junk-“

“Yeah, but it’s all ours Blake!” Adam cheers cutting off his curly haired friend, who gives him a disbelieving look right back.

“How are we getting all this back to the house? Shouldn’t we have asked Ders to help us.” Blake questions still not fully awake because he was tired and of course horny, but Adam had ruined his chances of waking up in a good mood.

“Blake, that’s why you’ve got that cart dude are you even on board with this-“

“I don’t even know what day it is.” Blake mutters whilst brushing his mess of hair back with both hands.

“Come on, let’s go! It will only take a couple of trips and look haven’t you seen the inflatables?” Adam questions with a faux shocked voice.

“I bet they are all busted-“

“Dude, stop being a buzz kill” snaps Adam literally stamping one of his feet, which almost causes him to fall flat on his ass but Blake grabs his arm to save him.

“I just wanted a few more minutes alone in bed-“

“To jerk it? Is this all because you haven’t had any hand fun yet, come on Blake I’ve done it three times already.” Jokes Adam with loud laugh.

“How the hell could I when you fucking woke me up?” Blake questions beyond frustrated right now as he asks “Can we just get this done because Ders is gonna start wondering where the hell we are.”

“Just promise me that as soon as we’re finished you go take a shower and treat yourself, use some of Anders lotion in the bathroom.” Adam smiles happily at Blake who grins back equally amused.

“You mean the green bottle-“

“Yeah, do you use it as well then?” Adam asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Dude, I’ve had to replace it-“

“No shit!” Laughs Adam as he bends down to pick up a deflated palm tree, complete with muddy grime on it, but throwing it in their pool would clean it up of course.

“Let’s not tell Ders about that though-“

“Of course not, bro code or some shit.” Adam cuts off Blake with a firm nod adding “Now grab some damn stuff and let’s go!”

“It is a really nice lotion though.” Chuckles back Blake as he picks up a patio umbrella, with a large palm tree design on it clearly these people liked a theme.

In the end it takes the pair over two hours to get all the stuff, with Ders saying he wouldn’t help them he was clearly too busy and the pair of course needing a blunt break, because Blake had been verging on battering Adam with one of the garden chairs they had taken.

Finally with all the treasures out the back as Adam called them, Blake however just saw it as junk but a beat up plastic grey box held a degree of interest, yet right now all he really cared about was finally taking a shower.

It had actually been fun to skate back and forth, well once the weed had kicked in he felt better for a while, until Adam had started talking about a pool party that they should totally have next weekend.

Which sounded dope but from previous experience it was always a sausage fest, and all Blake wanted to see were chicks in bikini’s for once, the thought makes a warm heat spread across his stomach.

Noticing Adam saluting him with a beer from the kitchen Blake nods with a cheeky smirk, as he heads into the bathroom whilst trying to decide, what scenario to use in his head first because he was a guy who liked a storyline after all.

“Don’t be too long in there!” Anders states when he hears the bathroom door lock, glancing back at Adam who has a funny look on his face.

“Give the dude a break he hasn’t cranked it yet today-“

“But hadn’t we all agreed that the shower was off limits?” Cuts in Anders in a warning tone.

“Sure, but you can’t tell me that you don’t pay extra special attention to your little guy in the shower!” Adam retorts with a snort like an amused warthog.

“Of course I fucking do that’s why my favourite lotion is in there-“

“Is that the one in the green bottle?” Adam asks innocently but fails as a grin spreads across his face.

“Please tell me you don’t-“

“I bet Blake is using it right now.” Adam cuts off Ders whilst grabbing another beer from the fridge beside him.

“Is nothing sacred in this house?” Snaps Anders who walks out of the kitchen angrily.

“I also use your laptop Ders.” Adam mutters to himself with a chuckle, because they didn’t hide anything here, and his tall roommate had all the important passwords.

It is late afternoon when the guys regroup again with Adam having set up the junk out in the yard, the lawn chairs and umbrella out alongside various inflatables which included a pizza and pink dolphin, all of which were half blown up in the pool.

“How romantic.” Anders deadpans as he steps out into the yard, noticing the dented metal table and blue plastic kid’s pool, which Adam had half filled with snacks.

“I like to wine and dine, before I sixty nine dude you know this.” Adam chirps happily as he sits down at the edge of the pool, shirtless of course dipping his toes into the warm water.

“When ever have you-“

“Ugh I feel so much better after that nap, because I was definitely sleepy after my shower!” Blake announces cutting off whatever Ders had been saying with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, let’s hope I have some fucking body lotion left-“

“Adam, you told on me?” Blake questions whilst trying to not look caught out when clearly he already was.

“Wait a sec-“

“Neither of you can ever go near my lotion again.” Anders states with a stern look as his eyes scan, from stupid Adam to Blake who was pulling a ridiculous face.

“Now that’s all cleared up, permission to join the party now dudes?” Blake asks with a smile as Adam holds a thumb up, and Ders mutters something about going to grab some beers.

“Permission granted, now let’s play a few slam dunks over the pool before the pizza gets here!” Adam demands whilst spinning round to get out of the pool, only to slip and fall back in sideways which makes Blake laugh loudly.

“Zero points for that dismount dude!” Blake yells at the same time that Adam raises his head above water spluttering all the while.

“All part of my plan, because if there were any chicks here right now they would all jump in and rescue me.” Adam shouts and coughs as he doggy paddles to the edge of the pool.

“Sure buddy-“

“Ready for some beers dudes?” Cuts in Anders reappearing with a large red cooler, placing it down on top of the plastic grey box, beside the palm tree umbrella.

Before anyone can reply there is a crash and the box breaks, causing the cooler to tip but Anders grabs it before the contents is spilled, although he wasn’t really looking because something else had suddenly caught his eye.

“What broke-“

“Guys, we’ve hit jackpot!” Anders announces cutting off Blake as he bends down to pick up a magazine, turning it round to show the guys who glance at one another awkwardly.

“Want some fashion tips Ders?” Adam questions with a scoff as his friend sighs, whilst Ders continues to wave the copy of Cosmopolitan excitedly in his hand.

“No wait, don’t they have like these sex quizzes in those things?” Blake asks out loud causing Adam to slow clap and Anders to flip the magazine open.

“Ten ways to impress your man-“

“Erm, I’m not into that dude.” Adam shakes his head firmly noticing the look on Blake’s face.

“But we can learn what women would do to us, if we ever met any and managed to actually bring them back here.” Blake states sarcastically the thought bumming him out momentarily.

“This could help us then!” Anders demands closing the magazine gently, like he didn’t want to leave sticky finger prints on any of the pages.

“Yeah to jerk off later to-“

“That’s a given, but for now we could learn something from these shiny magazines.” Anders states looking down to see more in the broken box, alongside an empty bottle of wine, also a photocopied picture of what looked like bridesmaids.

“Well I get first dibs because it’s my treasure after all!” Adam informs them both with an ached eyebrow and a challenging look on his face.

“Dude I helped you.” Blake reminds him lamely.

“Stop guys! Let’s just sit here and start looking there seems to be a whole bunch of them, and a picture of some random bridesmaids.” Anders nods with an excited smile on his face.

“I call dibs on the bridesmaids!” Blake raises a hand excitedly whilst Adam rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but for now let’s crack open a few beers and take a couple of quizzes.” Ders smirks as he takes a seat, on one of the old lawn chairs, praying silently that it won’t break on him.

“We are definitely not telling anyone about this-“

“Of course not dude, now shut up and sit down!” Blake informs Adam as they sit down on a chair and the cooler separately, grabbing a magazine each from the messy pile on the floor.

Silence fills the backyard as the guys look at their magazines, each with their own mixed thoughts until eventually the door bell rings, and finally Blake looks away in time to catch the pizza dude.

Hurrying back in Blake dumps the pizza on top of the cooler, taking a seat on the floor instead as he watches Ders lift up the box lid and they all dive in, still silent neither of them glancing at one another just lost in the pages under their noses.

“Oh there are so many hot women in these magazines-“

“Fully clothes sadly.” Adam cuts off Blake as dusk starts settling in, and he quickly looking up to pour out some beer in honour of his loss.

“Yeah, but check out some of the sex pages they have a lot of toys.” Anders nods with a smirk, glancing at his friends who chuckle back like awkward teenagers.

“My flesh-light is way better than any rabbit toy!” Adam announces as he reads something and then asks “Hey, where is the clitoris?”

“It’s not anywhere near the butthole, that’s all I know!” Jokes Blake with a soft giggle, brushing some mangled hair behind one of his ears.

“It’s at the top-“

“Dude I know that I was just joking!” Laughs Blake whilst wiping an imaginary tear from his right eye.

“Are you sure-“

“Dammit I know ok!” Blake snaps causing Adam to hit him on the head with a rolled up magazine.

“You need to get laid.” Jokes Anders whilst Adam cheers and nods in agreement.

“Yeah well, so do you two!” Blake chokes back with a dark look on his face, as he chugs down the rest of his beer.

“No offence but you could sure use some help closing Blake, so maybe there is something in one of these damn cosmos.” Adam states with a fake smile attached to his lame sentiment.

“Again, take your own advice dude.” Blake retorts whilst poking his tongue out at his friend.

“Now guys-“

“I’m going to kill you!” Screams Adam cutting off whatever Ders was about to say, as he proceeds to dramatically launch himself at Blake who was already on the floor.

“Dude, get off me!” Blake yells whilst trying to push Adam off him, as the pair roll around freakishly close to the pool fighting like idiots.

“I’m not getting involved.” Anders informs them diplomatically.

Seconds later Blake pushes Adam into the pool, but he manages to grab onto Blake’s tee shirt and they both fall in together, a warm breeze moving the page that Ders was reading as he tries to ignore the chaos.

“I’m pissed now!” Blake declares getting out of the pool, taking off his tee shirt which makes Anders look up and Adam scoff as he splashes around in the water.

“Dude put your tee shirt back on.” Adam sighes with a shake of his head.

“Jealous Adam are we?” Blake smirks as he holds his arms up high above his head, a move that he knew showed off his sleek frame and muscles.

“Of you?” Questions Adam with a hysterical laugh like he had just understood the world’s funniest punchline.

“You’ve even got those damn Usher lines Blake!” Ders cries out loudly pointing a finger at him almost accusingly.

“And with that I’m heading to the roof-“

“Come back here and fight!” Adam shouts splashing water again as Ders dives to save the magazines.

“Let him cool off, you just need to stop attacking the dude.” Anders tells Adam in a serious voice, which makes him think he sounds like his dad causing Ders to shudder.

“He started it-“

“Dude enough, now tell me about this pool party idea, and then I will show you the swimsuit issue!” Anders cheers causing Adam to rush out of the pool excitedly.

“Holding out as always Ders?” Adam asks with a pointed look.

“Dude you have to see it!” Anders smirks smugly because he would definitely be taking the magazine to his room later.

Blake meanwhile is drying off with one of the towels on the roof, hopefully it was Adam’s one but they borrow a lot of each other’s stuff, so it was hard to determine who owned what nowadays.

Tying the hair band from his wrist Blake puts his wet hair into a low ponytail, just so it’s out of his face as he closes his eyes, and tries to listen to what his roommates were talking about.

Blake was self conscious about a lot of things especially seeing how good looking his bros were, sure he gave back as good as he got some days, but right now he felt annoyed mostly at himself and the fact that he wanted another beer.

Also a hit on his bong that was currently sat untouched downstairs wouldn’t hurt either, but he was up here now on the roof and wanted to prove a point, unsure what exactly but Blake was hella pissed that his friends kept taking shots at him.

“We should go and see him.” Anders looks up on the roof a while later, to see that Blake was still up there, he was surprised the dude hadn’t gone to his room to sulk.

“Blake’s fine-“

“I think that we need to help him meet someone.” Anders cuts off Adam stating the truth because Blake was pretty inexperienced, but it wasn’t as if him or Adam were rocking high numbers either.

“Dude needs a makeover!” Adam cries waving a page at Ders from his magazine.

“You need to reign it in-“

“No hear me out, we tidy up the dudes hair and face moustache, then perhaps add some clear mascara bring out the blue in his eyes.” Adam states eyes firmly on the page he was reading from, not noticing the look that Ders was giving him right now.

“Blake’s just shy-“

“Crazy awkward around chicks!” Adam bellows with a laugh which makes Anders throw his magazine at him.

“I can hear you dudes.” Blake shouts down in a deep voice, wishing himself that he had just gone back to his bedroom and crashed out instead.

Anders grabs the cooler whilst Adam silently picks up some of the Cosmos , and they both make their way up to the roof quickly, it was time for a dude summit to talk some real shit.

Blake watches as they both struggle to get up to the roof, he could offer to help with the cooler but instead he stays put in his seat, until his conscious gets the better of him and he silently snatches said item from Ders hand.

“Thanks dude.” Anders says with a nod as he sits down on a lawn chair with a sigh.

“Here.” Adam opens the cooler and pulls out a fresh beer, handing it over to Blake who silently accepts the peace offering.

“Sorry we went too far this time and-“

“You’ve done a lot worse before than this.” Blake cuts off Ders with a closed off look but not without adding “I guess we all can push each other to the limits sometimes.”

“Yeah like that time you cut the brake wires on Ders car -“

“That was you?!” Anders snaps at Blake who tries and fails to look innocent.

“That was back when I was heavily watching the timeless movie that is “Speed” all the time.” Blake shrugs with a smile.

“Yeah but isn’t that movie about a bomb on a bus and they can’t go over a certain speed limit?” Adam asks with a confused look on his face.

“Well yeah but I had tried to place a fake bomb on the Vo’ but just ended up accidentally cutting the stupid wire.” Blake tells Adam whilst avoiding the daggers that were coming from Ders eyes.

“You need to grow up-“

“Dude you were playing along too it was the time we had taken the last of the Adderall, and you were the Dennis Hopper character!” Blake reminds Adam with an arched eyebrow and a smirk.

“Pop quiz, hot shot.” Adam quotes in a voice sounding similar to the aforementioned actor.

“I think you owe me some money dude because I had to take the car to the garage-“

“I can’t afford anything.” Blake cuts off Ders hurriedly.

“I was joking, but don’t ever mess with my damn car again!” Anders laughs but there is still a warning tone in his voice.

“We all mess with one another, that’s what bros do but me and Ders have decided that what we should do now is help you!” Adam shouts excitedly, wobbling in his seat a little but he steadies himself quickly.

“Help me, with what?” Blake asks cautiously because both his dudes were giving him a manic look.

“Meet a real-life chick and close-“

“Oh, like you both have extensive knowledge on this!” Cuts off Blake making a noise in his throat to prove a point.

“Well these magazines might help-“

“I think that you both need to be cut off dudes .” Blake begins with a wide eyed look that disappears as he says quietly “What could those things possibly say that would help me?”

“Let’s take a look!” Ders announces sensing the dip in the mood as he picks up a magazine and flips it open hurriedly.

“Another beer-“

“Here, listen to this!” Anders cuts off Adam as he hold up a page and reads out loud “ What women really want, and it’s not what you think.”

“First of all guys are more intelligent than girls that is a fact!” Adam shouts loudly and then takes it home by saying “ Girls lie they say that they will call you and then you’re speaking to a pizza place.”

“I’m sorry that happened-“

“Ain’t no thang!” Adam cuts off Ders as he then elaborates “ I met another chick that night at said pizza place and we made out in her car.”

“Nice dude.” Blake nods with a grin at his best friend.

“See Blake, that’s your problem right there-“

“I thought we were being nice to one another again?” Begins Blake cutting off Anders as he quips that “Those magazines are making you bitchy as hell man.”

“Blake, you need to grow a pair dude!” Adam chimes in which makes Ders clap in agreement.

“I told you guys that I was a late bloomer-“

“No, not that! What I mean is set your sights on someone and go for it dude.” Ders states in a sage voice, the kind that usually works in a chaotic moment.

“Did you learn that from the glossy you’re holding? Because that’s bad advice dude.” Adam tuts at Anders who rolls his eyes right back.

“So what advice do you have then?” Blake asks Adam finishing his beer and burping loudly as he chucks the empty can behind him.

“It’s so easy.” Adam begins eyes flitting between his two friends as he wriggle his eyebrows and says “ Two words, pool party.”

“Well that’s four words-“

“Stop being a nerd!” Adam snaps at Blake who looks down at the magazines and grudgingly picks one up.

“Nerds are soon to be the next big thing, so stop being a loser Adam.” Blake retorts eyes glancing the pages, until he stops at the swim suit section.

“Enjoy dude.” Winks Anders pulling an excited face.

From here on out the night rides on with Blake studying the swimsuits his bong resting between this feet, Adam asking Anders questions about an anal sex quiz, and the leftover beers growing warm because the cooler lid had been left open.

Anders cannot believe how much he is learning right now, sure the porn he watches religiously keeps him in the know, but these pages offered a fresh perspective and it was making his denim pants tighten as a result.

Meanwhile Adam is wondering to himself if he could wear more pink would it suit his hair colour, or maybe purple could help illuminate his brown eyes bring out the colour of his lips, fuck now he was debating whether he could pull off shorts.

Glancing up at his two friends, who were far to immersed in their own reading material to notice, Blake rolls his eyes because tonight has been weird with a capital W and normally he rolled for times like this.

But things had gotten personal and unless he mentions the idea of a girlfriend out loud, he hated being frogmarched into a conversation about his inability to date, because news flash he knew first hand but times might soon be a changing.

Not sure how out yet but Blake needed to be more confident, maybe he could fake it and show the world that he meant business, all he wanted was to finally lose is cherry because he had been dumped many times before he even had a chance.

“Hey guys, do you think I have an apple or an hourglass figure?” Adam questions breaking into the silence with serious question in real time.

Anders literally drops the magazine from his hands, whilst Blake shapes his fingers into a rectangle frame placing them up to his face, so he can check out Adam who is obviously waiting for an answer.

“What is happening right now?” Anders questions with a confused look on his face.

“I was just asking a question-“

“Well those shapes are referring to women’s bodies and not dudes, so I think it’s time that we should step away from these things.” Anders states cutting off Adam as he knocks the magazine from his hands.

“Yet we still have some many unanswered questions Ders.” Blake replies sarcastically which makes Adam nod in the affirmative.

“You two are beyond help-“

“And you need to lighten up dude!” Adam talks over Anders with a grin, as the guys make the awkward descent from the roof.

“Someone has to be a grown up.” Ders retorts in a tired tone.

“Sucks to be you bro!” Blake chants until he almost slips down the last bit of trellis, grabbing onto Adam’s shoulders so he didn’t croak it.

“I disagree-“

“Just know that I’m doing fine bro.” Blake announces almost believing it himself, as he not so subtly picks up a magazine from the floor near the pool.

“We all are dude, but just that know my stock is the highest!” Adam states firmly almost standing on Blake’s foot, as he dips down to also grab some reading material for his bedtime

“Have you hit your head again?” Ders asks Adam in a shocked voice as he explains “ I feel like I’m the top gun round here.”

“He’s a real life Tom Cruise over there!” Blake announces in a loud voice.

“Clearly he’s too tall to be Cruise-“

“We all know that I’m Bradley Cooper.” Anders cuts off Adam whilst closing the palm tree umbrella, at the same time locating the magazine he needed to help him sleep.

“Yeah if you’re in the dark perhaps.” Adam retorts which makes Blake splutter out a laugh, and Ders glare at them both as they all make their way finally back inside the house.

“Well this has all been a blast but I’m off to bed now.” Blake announces with a fake yawn despite it being earlier than usual, he tucks aforementioned magazine under his arm with an awkward smile plastered across his face.

“Yeah it’s been such a long day.” Nods Anders picking up his tie from the messy coffee table, wrapping it around his book with a nod.

“Time to go crank it hard dudes.” Adam declares with an overzealous wink, leaning past Blake to grab the box of tissues from the small diner table by the wall.

“There is this new oil that I have been meaning to try.” Anders smirks back at Adam who nods happily.

“Man, you ought to come see my set up someday I’ve got lube for days bro!” Adam states with a chuckle glancing at Blake who looks visibly embarrassed.

“Don’t be shy dude!” Adam nudges Blake hard with his hip as he explains “We all do it bro, and I’ve definitely heard you.”

“Yeah well you’re not exactly quiet either Adam.” Blake retorts with a smile stating “ I like to wear my headphones and set the scene, add some candles and never ever rush.”

“Sounds really romantic Blake.” Anders rolls his eyes at Adam with an unattractive snort.

“They don’t call me a ladies man for nothing-“

“That’s because they don’t dude.” Adam cuts off Blake as he pats him hard on the back adding “You need to be more like me, all the DeMamp men are very sexual.”

“I guess you’re the odd one out then right Adam?” Anders cracks making Blake laugh loudly whilst brushing some curly hair from his face.

“I rocked the world of those four and half girls at college, I bet I’m all they still think about.” Adam retorts in a sulky voice which makes Blake pat his friend on the shoulder.

“Half a girl-“

“Don’t ask!” Cuts in Blake raising both of his hands in front of Anders face, whilst Adam shrugs and mutters something that no one can make out.

“On that note then, I’m off to bed.” Anders nods as he starts to walk to his room.

“Don’t start crying again dude like you did last time!” Adam laughs loudly as he follows suit to his room, almost dropping his box of tissues in the process.

“That was only because you put on Matchbox twenty!” Anders retorts making Blake shake his head with a playful chuckle.

“Need I remind you that the song “Push” is fucking classic!” Blake states placing a hand on one of his hips at the same time.

“Thats true.” Begins Anders who then reminds his friend “But please don’t go burning the house down with your candles dude.”

“Not after last time-“

“Dude, what did you do?!” Cuts in Anders ignoring the look on Blake’s face as he gets to his bedroom door.

The three of the stop outside together smiles and nods aplenty, as they bring the night to an early close.

“Good humping boys!” Blake states with a cheeky smirk.

“Night guys.” Anders nods with a crinkle in his eyes.

“If you hear me screaming, don’t come a knocking!” Adam declares hopping up in the air to hit the top of the door frame with a flourish.

With that three doors simultaneously open and close, whilst one is locked and another changes their mind leaving it ajar, then moments later the opening chords to an O - Town song begins to play through the last door.

LETS GET WEIRD…

[jdmara]

i’ve never been more infuriated at the lack of a dedicated ao3 tag

[amazingmsme]

Pizza Payback

AN: Here’s yesterday’s fic, I had a blast with this one! If you haven’t seen workaholics, what’re you doing? These goofy dorks deserve way more love & attention! I have so many Thoughts about Anders 

Anders walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. He was starving after running errands and was praying there was still pizza left. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw the last remaining slice and snatched it up, taking a large bite. Cold pizza was the best.

He leaned against the counter, chewing as he scrolled through his phone when Adam walked past.

"Hey man have you seen my other suede boot?" he asked, waving the other one in the air for reference. Anders shook his head without even glancing up. "I thought Blake called dibs on the last slice."

This again. "For the last time, you can't call dibs on the last slice of pizza for the same reasons you can't call dibs on a girl. It's first come first serve," he justified, taking another bite. As if summoned, Blake came barreling in from his bedroom.

"Do my ears deceive me?" His eyes locked on Anders and the pizza in his hand. He gasped. "You traitor! You stole my pizza!" he yelled. Anders rolled his eyes.

"It's not your pizza, okay? We all agreed four months ago that the last slice is always up for grabs, until you decided to try and change it back two weeks ago," he tried reasoning.

"You knew that pizza was mine and you ate it anyway," Blake deadpanned. Anders threw his hands in the air, giving up.

"You know what? Yeah, I did. What're you gonna do about it?" he challenged, staring him down from across the kitchen. Adam was caught in the middle, slowly backing out to search for his lost shoe.

Blake scoffed at him, mouth hanging open in shock as he tried to fight off a grin. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," he didn't back down.

Blake nodded. "I was hoping you'd say that. You have five seconds to run." The smug smirk on Anders's face fell, but he didn't move. Blake took a step closer.

"Four."

Shit, he wasn't bluffing. He raised his hands, wiggling his fingers, and he had that goofy ass grin on his face, sending Anders running for the hills. He turned on his heels, booking it for the living room.

Blake at least finished his countdown before giving chase, racing after his friend. "I'm gonna get yoooouuu," he called, quickly gaining on him. Anders glanced over his shoulder and yelped when he saw how close Blake was.

He dashed into the living room, leaping over the couch and rounding the coffee table. Blake had to take the long way around the couch, and Anders mirrored his movements on the opposite side of the table.

They were in a stand off, both trying to fake the other out, readying to run away but neither moving. Finally, Blake faked right before going left, tricking him into running towards him before he corrected his mistake. He reached out, grabbing ahold of Anders's shirt.

"No!" he yelled, shoving at his arm and breaking free. He shot off down the hall barreling past Adam, who screeched out of shock, clutching his chest. A smirk found his face as he watched Blake zoom by.

He cupped a hand around his mouth and called out, "Tried to warn you dude!"

Anders heard him loud and clear, but he was too busy running for his life to answer. He saw the light at the end of the tunnel: his bedroom door. Safety. He pressed on, sprinting to reach his last hope before Blake could nab him.

He skidded to a halt, grabbing onto the doorframe so he could make the sharp turn. He whipped around and grabbed the door, coming face to face with Blake. He panicked and slammed the door. Or rather, he tried.

Blake pushed against the door, trying to force himself through as Anders leaned his entire weight against the door to keep him out. Blake managed to slip in through the tiniest crack, and Anders slammed the door from the loss of resistance.

He immediately tried to leave, but as soon as he opened the door, Blake slammed it shut with one hand, locking it with the other. Anders met his gaze and gulped. He looked at him expectantly, arms waving at his sides.

"All I wanted was my pizza."

Anders smiled nervously. "Same here."

"Oh you smug asshole, come here!" he growled, lunging for him. He body slammed him, sending the two of them sprawled out on the bed. "Hope my pizza was fuckin' worth it!"

"Nonono wahahahait! Ihi'm sohohorry!" he immediately caved as Blake scribbled his fingers over his belly.

"Funny, people who are really sorry don't laugh through their apology!" he teased, squeezing his sides and making him fold in on himself like a lawn chair. Anders blushed, and tried to hide in his pillow, his laughter slightly muffled.

"You dihihick, Ihihi cahan't hehehelp ihit! You're tihihickling mehehe!" he whined, writhing around on his bed. Blake chuckled evilly.

"I don't see how that's my problem," he said unsympathetically. He managed to grab one of his arms, prying it away from his side.

His eyes flew wide open as he struggled to bring his arm down.

"Nohoho! Blahahake plehehease, you cahan't!" he pleaded.

"Watch me," he quipped. He dug into his exposed armpit, relishing in the giggly shriek that erupted from his friend. Blake had always been merciless when it came to this.

Needless to say, Anders learned his lesson the hard way.

[ladyofdecember]

Yo... I might try to singlehandedly fill several different fic ideas in the Workaholics fandom because seriously? It is sad there are only 12 fics on AO3. This show has been around since 2010. C'mon people.

[uses-for-fics]

Tactona 420

Anders Holmvik x Reader

Another Monday morning and another boring ass meeting. Alice had been droning on and on about numbers when she finally introduced the new product of the week. Apparently it had been some toy race car that would link with a headset. Just as she caught your interest, she had lost it. She had started up a new rant about some meeting she was going to attend. You really didn’t pay much attention to her squeaky voice. The only good thing that ever came out of these meetings was getting to spend some time with Anders. Not necessarily ‘with’ Anders but hey, getting to sit behind him as he made jokes with his buddies was close enough for you. His laugh was melodic, his hair always looked so soft and fluffy. Don’t even get started on his smile, it’s so perfect. You always got butterflies in your belly whenever he’d pass by your cubicle and gave you a friendly hello. Oh but how could you forget his hands. Sometimes you’d imagine what they could do, so big and yet so gentle. It’s like you could feel them on you right now. Or maybe it’s cause they were, you hadn’t realized you zoned out until you felt Anders poking your shoulder.

“Hey Y/n, you good? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute now”. He smiled at you. God if you weren’t sitting down right now, your knees would’ve buckled. Adam butted in. “Yeah dude you should’ve seen your face! You were so spaced out! I was going to stick a pen in your mouth but Anders wouldn’t let me.” You turned to look at Adam as your smile fell. “Thank you Adam.” You said flatly.

“Yeahhhhh. So I actually wanted to ask you, were you thinking on joining the Tactona 420? Blake, Adam and I are making a group but hey wouldn’t hurt to have some friendly competition.”

You smiled back at Anders. “I would love to!”

“Sounds good!” He got up from his seat.

“But.” “But?” He stopped in his spot. You dropped your head. “I can’t, I promised Jillian Id fix her computer today. Apparently she ‘accidentally’ downloaded malware when she was downloading videos of ‘cute cats’, I don’t know why she just doesn’t say she was trying to illegally watch magic mike again, we’ve all seen her ogle face before.”

Adam laughed. “Yeah it’s the same one you make when you’re looking at Ders! Ooooo burn!” He lifted his hand to high five Blake but Blake just shook his head and dropped Adam’s hand down. “Nuh uh.”

Anders chuckled. “Thank you Adam.” He said sarcastically. “Why don’t you go with Blake and start modifying the car?” Adam stood up with Blake. “Oh hell yeah, it’s gonna beat the crap out of all of your guys' cars!” Adam yelled as Blake pushed him out of the meeting room. Anders rolled his eyes. “Well if you finish soon, it’d be great to have you there.” He smiled but quickly covered it up with a cough. “As a cheerleader obviously cause we’d soooo wreck your car up quickly,,,,dude.” He gave your shoulder a light punch.

You awkwardly laughed. “Ha ha. Yeah dude, I’ll so try to be there.” You gave him finger guns. “Guess I’ll see you later dude.” He started walking out of the meeting room backwards not breaking eye contact. You laughed as he gave you a wink and finger guns back. This man was going to be your demise. You decided you should start working on Jillian’s computer cause from all those shady pirating sites she has visited, you could only imagine how fucked it was going to be. A good two or three hours passed before your back had started to feel sore from sitting there for a while. You made calls all day for work but at least then you’d try to distract yourself by drawing at your desk or walking around your cubicle or staring at Anders. It’s not weird! It wasn’t your fault that your cubicle was right across from his and it definitely wasn’t your fault if your eyes occasionally would wander over there and would watch whatever dumb activity him and his friends were doing instead of work. You stretched your back until you felt a crack and stood up.

Maybe you could find something to snack on before having to get back to Jillian’s desk. You walked into the break room to find Adam smashing his toy car’s cover with a hammer and yelling. “I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING!!! Oh hey y/n.” He put down the hammer and toy car cover.

“Heyyy Adam. Um you ok buddy?” You stood by the entrance, not wanting to get closer to him.

“No I’m not ok. Blake killed his rat and Anders doesn’t want to join my team so now I have to mod my own car but I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING!!” You shifted on your feet weighing if you should help him or not. You were basically almost done with Jillian’s computer. Probably a half hour more and you’d be done but, this is Adam. He’s always so moody and he’s always joking about how you like Anders. He wasn’t wrong but you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction, or maybe you could. If you helped him maybe he could help you out. You smiled and walked closer to his car. “Maybe I could help.”

Adam’s head jerked up to look at you. “Are you serious?” You nodded. “For sure! I’m clearing Jillian’s computer right now. I know a thing or two about tech, all I need to do is mod your car into being faster than the rest.”

Adam jumped up. “Fuck yes!! Let’s start building right now so I can wipe Anders stupid smug smile with my dust.” You grabbed Adam by the collar before he could head out of the room. “Woah there! I didn’t even get to say what I get in return.” Adam shook his head. “Uhh doy dude, you get to spend time with me obviously! What else could you want?”

You rolled your eyes. “Gross. Actually, I wanted to see if you could setupadatewithAndersandI.”

Adam’s face twisted. “What?”

You groaned and looked down. “I wanted to see if you could set up a date with Anders and I.” Adam broke into laughter. You huffed. “Fine I won’t help you!” Adam grabbed your arm before you could walk away. “Dude I’m laughing cause that’s so easy. Have you not seen the way he acts around you? ‘Look at me I’m Anders! I can’t walk around y/n because she makes my legs shake! I’m so stupid and tall” Adam’s walked around mocking Anders.

You grabbed the stuff for his car. “Shut up that’s not true. Now let’s go fix up your car.” Adam continued mocking Anders all the way to your desk. You had been fixing up the car for a couple minutes now occasionally slapping Adam’s hand away before he could fuck something up. He’d finally gotten distracted by something. He gasped loudly making you jump in your seat. “Adam! What the fuck!” You turned to him noticing the book in his hands. He was looking through your sketchbook. “Adam! Give that back!” You tried to reach out for the book but he scooted back. “No way dude! You’re so down bad for Anders!!! I knew you liked him but there’s no way you actually have drawings of him!” “Adam that’s not funny. Please give it back.” You kept trying to reach for it but Adam kept scooting away from you. “They’re not half bad, maybe if you showed them to him he could overlook the whole stalker thing and ask you out.” You groaned. “I have no idea why I ever decided to help you! You’re such an idiot!” Adam stopped. “Hey! I may be an idiot but I am not stupid! At least I try to go for a date when I like a girl and I mean really try! You haven’t even tried to make a single attempt at asking out Anders the whole time that you’ve worked here. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from me.” With that, Adam turned to walk out of your cubicle but bumped into the side wall.

You giggled. “Maybe you’re right Adam. I should try. How about we go win this race and after we’ve wiped Anders, I ask him out.” Adam smiled. “HELL YEAH! LETS KICK ASS!”

He ran out of the cubicle fist pumping. “I’m not done with the car yet!” You yelled but he was too far already. You turned back to the car, you had to fix this car like if your life depended on it.

You managed to finish fixing up the car not long after, finally arriving to where the races were being held. Adam turned to look at you. “Dude! Took you long enough! I’ve been waiting for you for hourssssss!!!”

“It hasn’t even been 30 minutes!” You yelled back as you walked to him.

Anders turned to face you from his spot next to Adam. “Hey! You made it Y/n!”

“Hey Ders.” You stand next to him and smile.

Anders face started to turn a bit red. “Ders? You’ve never called me Ders before.” Your smile fell. He quickly went to speak. “I like it! You make it sound nice.” You got bashful. “Ha thanks I guess. Just thought we’re close enough to use it.” You looked up at him. “There’s actually something I wanted to tell you.” You placed your hand on his hoodies zipper.

He looked down at you and gulped. “What’s up.” You smirked and then zipped up his hoodie. “After the race.” You winked and went to go stand next Adam.

You handed Adam the updated controller and started explaining the buttons. Just as you finished up explaining them, Jillian got into position to start up the new race. “Start your engines!” She put the flag up in the air. You handed Adam the headset. “Good luck.” You walked away and went off to the sidelines. Anders winked at you and put on his headset. You face heated up. At least he couldn’t see you right now. “Go!” Jillian yelled as she threw the flag down. Just as the race started, it ended. Blake had ran in a few laps left, Adam had blocked the tunnel causing a blockage on the track. Anders flipped his car making it a ramp so Blake could jump it and win. They all hugged and jumped together as they cheered.

After they had their little celebration, Anders stepped away and walked over to you. “Hey.” You looked at him. “Hey.” He bumped his shoulder with yours. “Soooo what did you want to talk about?”

You got bashful. “I wanted to ask if you’d like to go out sometime.” You turned away from him.

“Like on a date?”

“Yeah. Like on a date.” You started getting nervous. Maybe Adam had been punking you this whole time and wanted you to embarrass yourself. Before you could freak out more, Anders had answered.

“Sure.” Your eyes widen. “I’m so glad you asked actually, I’ve been so nervous to ask to be honest.”

“Really?” You smiled up at him. “Yeah I actually didn’t think you felt anything for me and just thought I was a boring ass coworker until I saw your drawings”Your face turned beet red. “Oh no.” You covered your face with your hands. “Oh no no no. You’re gonna think I’m a creep!”

He grabbed your wrists and moved your hands from your face. “No! Not at all. I was confused at first to be honest. I noticed you kept staring at me and jotting something down so when you left to the bathroom one day I scoped your cubicle and found your open sketchbook to a drawing of me. By the way I got to say you’re really good at catching my handsome face. I’d love to pose for you anytime.” He smirked.

You laughed. Your face could physically not get any redder. “Yeah, maybe you should. There’s actually this pretty cool art museum I like to visit.”

Anders beamed. “I love museums! There’s currently a Scandinavian exhibit I’ve been wanting to check out!”

You slapped his shoulder. “No way! I’ve heard of it! I’ve been wanting to check it out on my days off!”

Anders intertwined his hands with yours. “How about we go together?”

You inched closer to him. “I would definitely not say no to that.” Just as you guys inched closer, Adam yelled.

“I did that you guys! That was all me!” Blake grabbed Adam. “Dude shut up.” Blake pushed Adam to the elevator and everyone started heading out too. “Well.” Anders cleared his throat. “I guess we should head back to work.”

You let go of his hand. “I guess so.” You got on your tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. “Last one there is a rotten egg.” You gave him a light shove and ran towards the elevator. He smiled and ran after you. “Just wait til I catch up to you!”

[uses-for-fics]

Do I make you randy?

Anders Holmvik x reader

A/n: guys it's my first time writing smut. Please go easy on me 😭 also this part of the podcast? No way did he mean it as a joke!!!

Word count: 1076

“Anders hurry up!!!” you yelled from the living room. You had finally gotten Ander's laptop connected to his living room TV. It had only taken 20 minutes but hey, were you excited for today’s movie night. It was your turn to pick the film so you decided to rewatch your favorite film of all time, ‘Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery’. You didn’t know what you liked most about the film. Austin’s goofiness, the costumes, or his overly horrible British accent that just made your stomach flip.

Your thoughts of the goofy spy got interrupted by your boyfriend walking into the living room. “You ready?” He set down the snacks he brought, onto the coffee table. “I’ve been waiting on you, ya goof.” You smiled and picked a spot on the couch. He playfully rolled his eyes and pressed play on his laptop. He took the spot next to you and covered yourselves with his blanket. “So, what film did you pick?”

Just as you were going to answer, the film's colorful title sequence started and you couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at Anders. He sighed. “No way.” You giggled. “What?”

“Babe! You choose this film every time! What’s so special about it?” Anders whined. You just smiled and patted his arm, curling into his side. “Oh come on, you know it’s just a silly goofy film I like.” Anders huffed. “Fine fine, only cause you like it, plus Mike Myers is pretty funny, but I get to choose the next two films.” You just shook your head and snuggled him tighter.

You guys got comfortable and snacked as the film played on. You couldn’t resist throwing your leg over anders leg in a way to get comfortable. Your leg twitching everytime Austin said ‘baby.’ You seriously couldn’t understand what it was about the ridiculous fictional Brit but oh did your stomach feel like it was turning into knots. You could only hope Anders didn’t notice, preferring not to look over at him when you’d twitch.

What you didn’t expect was Anders to playfully mimic Austin Powers' outlandish British accent. With a twinkle in his eye, he adopted the exaggerated tone, much to your amusement. “Do I make you Randy, baby~~?” Your face flushed. “What?” You giggled.

He continued. “Do I make you horny?” He repeated with that godawful accent. You twitched again. Anders placed his hand on your thigh that was over his leg. “What’s wrong, is my voice too distracting?” He smiled. Your face was turning redder by the second. His hand kept moving higher. “Anders.” You whispered. “It’s Anders powers to you.” He winked after using that ridiculous accent again. He got a grip on your waistband and fiddled with it. “Did you think I didn’t notice every time you’d hump my leg when he’d make a sultry comment?” Anders whispered next to your ear, dropping the accent. You sucked in your breath. He smirked and began to kiss your neck, nibbling and sucking on spots he knew you liked. You let out a soft sigh, letting his arm finally slip into your shorts. His hand slowly moves closer to your core. “Oh my.” You breathed out quietly. He massaged your clit for a bit until he stopped abruptly. You turned to look at him.

“Is everything ok?” Your eyes looked over his face and he just stared at you. Eyes scanning you. Finally, he just smiled and leaned til he was close to kissing you. “Can I taste you?” He used the stupid accent again. You couldn’t help but just shake your head a little too quickly. Anders wasted no time on laying you on your back. “Ack! Anders!” He climbed over you and started kissing your chest down to your belly. He gripped onto your shorts, slipping them off quickly with your underwear, tossing them god know where into the living room. That would be a problem for future you to deal with right now you just wanted this man to go crazy.

Anders sighed. He kissed your inner thighs. “This might be the most shaggadelic thing I’ve ever seen.” You couldn’t help but burst into laughter from the accent. “No way you just called my vagina, ‘shaggadelic’?” He blushed. “You’re laughing now but just you wait.” Anders got off the couch and onto his knees. He did work on his shirt and pulled your legs over his shoulders. He started with a slow stripe up. You let out a low moan, not expecting it to be so effective. Anders smiled at that. He did it again. You moved your hands down to his hair. He continued to just lap at your clit, putting one finger first. You gripped onto his hair. He started moving his finger in and out, going a bit faster on his tongue work. You tugged on his hair every time you felt a twitch. Anders took this as a sign to insert another digit. This time he started going faster and faster only getting encouragement every time he felt you twitch. You had started moaning loudly, not caring if Adam or Blake walked in or heard any of your lewd sounds. “Anders!” You panted. “I-I—don’t know—how much longer I can hold on.” You huffed in between words. Your legs have started to twitch. Anders placed his hand on your lower belly, this made you feel a whole new kind of pressure, pushing you over the edge. Your moans sounded almost pornographic as you came undone. Your hands let go of Ander's hair. He tried lapping up most of your juice, coming up to look at your panting figure after he felt everything come out. He smiled at you half lid, his mouth and chin covered in slick. “You feeling shaggadelic now?”

You huffed, still trying to regain your breathe. “I can’t with you sometimes.” Anders climbed onto the couch with you. “We have to definitely watch this movie more often.” You threw your head back and closed you eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.” You giggled. Anders just sighed and laid his head on your heaving chest.

Now, whenever Ders slips into that ridiculous accent, it serves as a potent aphrodisiac, instantly sparking desire in you. What started as a lighthearted joke during a movie night has evolved into a tantalizing game of seduction, adding a playful twist to your guy's intimate moments and keeping the flames of passion burning bright.

[uses-for-fics]

I love old people!

So ik this gif is from Godzilla:LOM but just LOOK AT HIM 🥰 he’s so soft🥹

Word count: 885

Anders Holmvik x reader

Y/n was engrossed in her book when a loud alarm suddenly went off. She quickly glanced to her left and noticed that the emergency button from room 210 had been activated, which was strange since the patient had been in a coma for several years. She dropped her book and hurried to the room, weaving through the elderly patients after every turn. She pushed the door open, panting from the exertion, only to be met with an unexpected sight. There was a half-naked man in the room, and one of the patients was touching him. Frustrated, Y/n asked, "Peggy? Really? This again?" before placing her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

Peggy, the older woman living there, shrugged and rolled her eyes. The half naked man gawked. “Again?” Peggy shrugged and walked out of the room.

Y/n struggled to catch her breath as the adrenaline wore off. "She does that a lot. Just give me a few seconds to compose myself and I'll escort you out," the nurse said, as he started to dress himself.

After he finished changing, they left the room to head outside. There was a moment of silence until the man spoke up. "I don't usually do that," he said. The nurse looked over at him and asked, "Do what? Sleep with old people?"

He gave a sheepish smile and said, "Ok, hear me out." The nurse shrugged and replied, "Hey man, some people have their kinks. I'm not judging, but please don't do it while I'm working, okay?" His eyebrows shot straight up in surprise and he exclaimed, "Oh no! No no no! That is NOT what was happening!

She laughed. “So you weren’t just in your undies in front of Peggy?”

He blinked. 'Well, yes. But I did it for a reason! You see, I want to be on MTV's True Life, and she said she would give me an interview if I... you know... did the deed.' He almost whispered the last part. 'You're lucky you're cute. Mr...?' She waited for the guy to answer.

He held out his hand. "Anders." "Nurse Y/n," she shook his hand. "If you want more info on this place, I can help by the way."

“Really?” He beamed. “Cause that would actually help out a lot! Can I interview you first?”

"Sure," she replied with a shrug as she came to a stop. He fumbled around in his pockets in search of his camera, eventually pulling it out of his left pocket and pointing it at her. "What's it like working with such wise people?" he asked.

She thought for a moment, preparing an honest response. "Well, I actually enjoy it. I feel like these people helped build our society, and I was quite close with my nana. She meant everything to me."

Anders tilted his head. “Was?” She cleared her throat, getting a bit sad. “Yeah, she died a few years ago. I was still in nursing school when it happened. She was my motivation to continue with nursing school every time it felt like my ass was getting handed to me and shit just felt so difficult. She practically raised me too, whenever my mom was busy with work, my nana was there to help. She was there when I’d wake up, all the way to tucking me into bed. When she was diagnosed with dementia, I’d promised that I’d be with her every second I had left with her. The hardest part wasn’t trying to get her to remember me but rather realizing that when it was her time to go, she felt lonely, surrounded by family she thought were strangers.” She cleaned a tear off her face. “Oh wow, I did not expect that.” She chuckled. “Umm, either way, I made a promise to myself that I’d spend time with these folks as if they were my own family, making sure they never have to feel uncomfortable in their last years.”

Anders's heart melted. Although his friends Adam and Blake weren't excited about joining him, Anders couldn't wait to spend time with the residents. It was hard for Anders to understand why people would not want to visit their grandparents if they had the opportunity. Finally, he had found someone who felt the same way.

Go out with me," he blurted out.

"What?" she laughed.

Anders realized what he had just said and quickly corrected himself. "No, wait. I mean, I've never met someone who shares my appreciation for what the elderly have done for us, and it helps that you're really cute. I'm sorry, I'm just rambling on. I don't know, I just thought I'd give it a try?”

The nurse observed the man's rambling and then lowered the camera he had forgotten was still recording. "Well," she said, "I'm off in a few hours. If you're willing to wait, we can go to a nice restaurant that isn't too far from here."

Anders couldn’t contain his smile. “I’d love that.” She held out her hand to him. “Let me get you a visitor pass so you can roam around to continue your interviews while I finish up my shift.”

He held her hand tightly, smiling as he walked beside her. "I love old people!" he thought to himself. Excited for her shirt to end.

[uses-for-fics]

I posted this on ao3 already but heyyyyy why not here?

Ao3 link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/51691363

Divider by @i92-93

𝚂𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚂𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙?

Word count: 1357

It was 2 in the morning when you woke up to your house being shook. The loud bass from the club music was so deep your tired brain swore it was an earthquake. Multicolored lights streamed in through your curtains as more and more drunk people kept partying next door. Of course all this commotion had to be coming from the forsaken house next door. It’s not that the guys that lived there were horrible people. In fact they were quite nice. They had given you rides to work when your car broke down, collected your mail when you went on vacation, and even helped clean your backyard when you first moved in. They were good guys! Their only flaw is they loved pulling schemes and partying. Right now they were blasting ‘Hot in Herre’ by Nelly as loud as they could and allowing drunk people to cause a big ruckus. You tried giving it a chance and going back to sleep.

Repeating in your head, ‘I have work in a few hours, I have work in a few hours’. Another ten minutes passed and you were wide awake in bed, staring at your roof while Pitbull played outside. You rolled out of bed with a huff, putting on some slippers and covering yourself with your blanket. You languidly walked out of your front door to your neighbors front porch. Approaching their home you could already see the tenants of the place partying to their heart's content. The short loud one, Adam, was trying to do a keg stand but failed miserably stating his hands weren’t placed right. The scrawny, curly haired friend, Blake, was hotboxing with a couple random dudes in his friend’s Volvo. Where was the car’s owner? You looked around for Anders, finally finding him lying awkwardly in a bush. Vomiting in a bucket and chugging a beer, one after the other. You noticed the party goers ignored the tall man, continuing their fun as he vomited his guts out. You walked Anders’ way and crouched next to him. “Heyyy Anders, you ok there?” You put your hand on his shoulder getting his attention.

His half lid eyes turned to you and he smiled. “Hey Y/n!” He croaked. “You finally come out to join the party?” You smiled. “No. Not exactly. I was trying to sleep when I heard my oh so favorite neighbors playing club music really really loud.” He laughed. “Awww, are we really your favorite neighbors?” You shook your head.

“Anders. That’s not the point. I need to be up early later today but you guys have been partying loudly for a little longer than usual, I’m really tired.” He frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bug you.”

“It’s ok. I just would really like to go to sleep already.” He smiled and was going to say something but quickly moved his bucket into place, vomiting again. You rubbed his back trying to help in some way. He stopped puking and looked up at you, earning you a weary smile. “Anders I think you should stop drinking already. It’s going to keep upsetting your stomach.” He blew a raspberry. “Come on y/n! Haven’t you heard of a boot and rally!” You reached for his bottle and took it. He was too drunk to even try to stop you. “Aww come onnnn, I just wanted to have a bit more fun.” He whined. “No Anders. I’m sorry but I have to cut you off, you’re just going to keep vomiting and drinking until you pass out. I’m just trying to help.” He huffed and lied back into the bush he was in. “Fine. Im just going to lie here for a second.” You rolled your eyes and sat down next to him. “Ok Anders.” You sat there thinking. You couldn’t just leave him lying in the bush. His friends were way too drunk and high to take care of him. Especially with all these random people all around, you didn’t trust they would help him either. You huffed and stood up. “I guess I’ll just have to miss work later.” Anders turned to you. You stretched your hand out to him. “Let’s go.”

“Huh?” He squinted. “I’m not just going to let you stay here and ruin these plants with your vomit so let’s go.” He grabbed your hand and stood up. He wobbled a bit trying to balance himself. You grabbed a hold of his chest making sure he didn’t fall forward. He smirked. “If you wanted to cop a feel, you could’ve just asked.” You laughed. “Ok Anders, let’s just get you sober.” You took off you blanket and wrapped him with it. You took a hold of his arm and slowly started walking him over to your house, making sure he didn’t trip on the blanket. You successfully made it inside without any hiccups and sat him down on your couch. “You stay here. I’m going to get you some water and Tylenol ok?” He closed his eyes and nodded. “Anything you say princess.” You smiled and walked towards your kitchen.

Anders had never really been so,,,,flirtatious. Yes he did speak to you the most out of the other two. You guys had even gone out a few times too, not on dates but you did enjoy the time together. You could feel your stomach fluttery and your face heat up thinking about the man in the other room. You quickly grabbed the Tylenol from the cupboard and a water bottle from the fridge making your way back to the living room. You noticed Anders had already made himself comfortable. Lying on the couch with the blanket haphazardly slung over him. You placed the water and pill bottle on the coffee table near him. You proceeded to remove his shoes and fix him as best as you could on the couch. You left him for a second to get a trash can in case he decided to hurl again. You grabbed yourself a blanket while you were up and sat at one end of the couch near Anders legs. You had already brought the drunk guy over after being woken up, the last thing you wanted right now was to have to clean up vomit in the morning. You closed your eyes hoping work could forgive you for missing a shift.

Bonus-

Anders stirred awake, blinking and soaking in his surroundings. He looked around and noticed it looked off. He sat up slowly feeling a pang in his head. He presses his hand to his temple, trying to remember what happen. He notice he was on a couch but where. He looked at the blanket on him, he’s seen it before. He heard a soft snore and looked at the other side of the couch. His heart fluttered. Y/n sat there sleeping. She looked so peaceful. Anders held his breath not knowing what to do. He had no idea how he managed to get into his beautiful neighbor’s house but he wasn’t complaining. He moved his legs over to give the girl some. Her eyes started to open after she felt the warmth move. “Hey Anders, how ya feeling?” He smiled. “Better now that you’re here.” Of course that was the cheesiest thing his brain could say right now. She chuckled, god was she going to make him explode. “Well I’m glad you’re feeling better. You were in a bush when I found you.” “Sorry about that.” He looked sheepishly away. “It’s ok, I don’t mind. I’m really just glad you’re ok.” He decided to reach for her. He grabbed her and laid her on top of him. “What are you doing?” She looked up at him. “Well, the least I can do after you went out of your way to help me, is let you sleep in. Don’t worry if you get a call from work, I’ll deal with it.” She laughed. “How chivalrous of you. Thank you my good sir.” He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. “Anything for you….Princess.” They both got comfortable and went back to sleep.

[uses-for-fics]

You | Anders Holmvik

An: it’s in 1st person narrative like Joe goldberg’s monologue in ‘You’

“You walk into the diner at 11:35pm, alone. You sit in the corner booth by the window and order coffee—black, because of course it would be black. It was late, barely any customers, and you were just... there. Staring down at some spreadsheets, so absorbed you didn’t even notice me but, I noticed you. There’s something about you, something tidy and collected. It doesn’t match the surroundings, doesn’t fit in with the sticky tables, the smell of grease. You’re a visitor here, just passing through. That’s what you wanted everyone to think.

Then, as if fate had an odd sense of humor, you came back. Not alone this time, though. No, you brought your friends. Loud, sloppy, and blissfully oblivious to how their voices ricocheted around the room at ungodly hours. I don’t think you really wanted to be there; you sat slightly away, laughed a beat late, with this almost imperceptible grimace that you covered with sips of that coffee you insists on ordering every time. But still, you came. Night after night. It became... predictable. A pattern.

And that’s the thing about patterns: they’re easy to trace. If you watch closely enough, you can understand a person completely. How they move, how they think, where they’re going and what they’re running from and Anders, you’re practically begging someone to figure you out. I couldn’t resist.

So, I started to piece together the details. You work in an office—some corporate thing with cubicles and suits. I know, because your shirt always smells faintly of starch and printer toner, like the dull little life you’re so desperate to be proud of but that’s not all there is, is it? You’re trying to hold on to a sense of control, but the way you let your friends drag you out to this diner at 4 a.m. tells me you’re craving something more. Freedom, maybe? Validation? Or just a way to break out of that little box you’ve stuffed yourself into.

Every visit, every lingering glance, every laugh you force out—it’s a breadcrumb. You leave them all over the place, and I’m the one who’s smart enough to pick them up. I know who you pretend to be, but what I really want is to know who you are when no one’s watching. And that, Anders, is a mystery I intend to solve.

So, keep coming in. Sit in your booth. Order your coffee. Pretend you don’t see me, because we both know you do. This is just the beginning, and I’ve got all the time in the world to find out exactly what makes you tick."

[pretendfan]

~Nice guys finish last~

a/n: First and foremost I had an absolute blast writing this, almost two weeks of tears, euphoria and lots of various drinks at my finger tips. This is a good learning moment, writing something I like for me, and if anyone else loves this show plus has a full on meltdown over Blake then this is the story for you. Additionally writing an ofc is always a trip as well and I have a feeling, that Imogen will win you all over as you root for her and hope she survives the night…

Blake Henderson x OFC! Imogen Harper

Lost in the suburbs after a bad date Imogen stumbles upon three idiots on a roof, will they help her out or will she just end up as a victim of the latest true crime story…

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!!!!

(this story is season 7 vibes)

(14k ish words)

~ Part one ~

~ Part two ~

WARNINGS: 18 plus, swearing, mentions of alcohol and smoking weed, Adam throws up, oral sex, hand stuff, stoner bro humour, like an episode of the show it’s satire, very much on point with the show, these guys are idiots/ adjacent toxic bros, Blake is a babe here, Anders and Adam are basically themselves…it’s fun

[pretendfan]

~Nice guys finish last~

~PART ONE~

Lost in the suburbs after a bad date Imogen stumbles upon three idiots on a roof, will they help her out, or will she just end up as a victim of the latest true crime story…

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!!!

(this story is season 7 vibes)

Blake Henderson x OFC Imogen Harper

(6.5k words)

WARNINGS: 18 plus, lots of swearing, mentions of alcohol and smoking weed, Adam throws up, oral sex, hand stuff, awkwardness personified, Blake is a quick learner, stoner bro humour, like an episode of the show it’s satire, very much on point with the show, these guys are idiots/ adjacent toxic bros, Blake is a babe here, Anders and Adam are basically themselves…its fun!!!

Clearly watching all of those damn horror films from a young age, did absolutely nothing to prepare Imogen Parker because she was surely about to die, lost in the suburbs without a working cell phone or drive by cab nearby.

This right here was such a prime set up because little did Imogen know, she could literally have a masked killer stalking her, or an emotionally stunted ex who couldn’t take the hint neither examples were something that she wanted to see right this second.

Unsure which one was a worse case scenario at this point Imogen stops in her tracks, because the streets all looked the same both dark and creepy, causing her to instantly think of the worst which was a regular occurrence.

That turn Imogen had taken a street back earlier was obviously wrong, it was getting quite late and she was all alone a picture perfect ending to a shitty evening, courtesy of a bad date at some random party which she had quickly left without a backward glance.

Despite the fact that Imogen’s cell had died earlier leaving her high and dry, she was probably mere moments away from getting murdered, which was all her fault for attending the stupid party to begin with.

When instead she could’ve easily hung out at home with her roommate Ellie, the best friend who had set her up on this date in the first place, so if Imogen ever did get out of this alive she would surely need to move as soon as possible.

But first Imogen needed some sign of life because she hadn’t seen a single person, sure houses were still lit up with people inside, but the atmosphere out here was messing with her wildly imaginative mind and it was no good.

Where was her knight in shining armour because this could be her love story right here?

Imogen smirks to herself because her life was pure garbage, and guys were definitely of no use to her right now so she would have to walk back into the city, whilst wearing heels which surely counted as cardio right?

Having only lived in LA for a few months now Imogen still didn’t know her way around, which was oh so apparent right now but she liked to live dangerously, maybe she would finally get her name on the local news posthumously of course.

…fuck Imogen sure hoped that she had deleted all the search history, from her laptop before she left the apartment.

What with Imogen’s date being a total dud in the guest bathroom, where she had given him oral only to be rewarded with a quick pat on the head afterwards, and sore knees to match her pretty sore mood.

It had also been a very bad idea getting out of that cab with the creepy driver, because be it back there with the sketchy guy or right here on someone’s doorstep, Imogen was lost and surely soon was gonna become yet another statistic.

What was wrong with guys these days? Because all Imogen had wanted to do was get back to her apartment, but the driver had been saying about popping to his crib real quick, so she screamed until he stopped the car and got out of his ride real quick.

So now she was here completely in the wrong direction to the city, which was back there behind her Imogen was sure of it, so all she needed in reality was someone to help her out of the burbs.

…absolutely anyone would do at this point.

Tonight had been yet another waste of time hosting a sausage fest of a party, the usual suspects turning up which was cool but Blake Henderson, he desperately wanted to meet a chick and not just troll or scroll through the internet to get his fixes.

Had there been any point actually changing out of his work clothes, because none of the dudes even cared what he wore, they were way more invested in the beer pong games and if the alcohol was still flowing.

Which was why Blake was now stood on the roof of their house, the one which he shared with his two best friends mindlessly overthinking everything, whilst the air felt supercharged around him but surely that was just his imagination getting the better of him.

“I’m the king of the world!” Shouts Adam DeMamp whilst simultaneously, taking yet another leak off the roof that he was currently stood on.

“Dude, I’m not doing that Titanic shit again-“

“But I like to be held bro.” Adam cries cutting off his roommate Blake, who was nodding back slowly with an annoyed look on his face.

“Sure, we would all like to be held by someone.” Begins Blake waving this hands in front of him to empathise his point as he adds “But in this case I would prefer a hot chick and not you sorry dude.”

“I’m not hot?” Adam questions with a quiet outrage which was ever present on his face.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, I’m currently revisiting Katy Perry at the moment.” Blake admits with a loud burp, that was swiftly followed by a sexy wiggle of his eyebrows.

“I kissed a girl and I liked it!” Adam sing songs with a wiggle of his hips as he asks “Imagine kicking it with two chicks!”

“I’d be happy with just one-“

“Blake that is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard bro.” Adam interjects with a shake of his head.

“I just like to keep shit in perspective dude, but it’s not like any chicks came out to our hang sesh yet again.” Blake reminds Adam with a groan, hesitantly glancing over at their roommate, the sloppy Anders Holmvik who was currently passed out.

“They probably heard your bitching and whining so ran off, you need to get your head in the game man.” Adam states flippantly pointing a finger directly into his friend’s face.

“Well you just lost the game then bro!” Blake counters with a defiant look as he bats Adam hand away.

“Oh no you didn’t!” Retorts Adam with a shocked look on his face, and a quick snap of his fingers on his right hand.

“Game over, man!” Snaps Blake loudly.

“Get away from me, you bitch!” Adam yells pushing Blake in the chest, and he almost falls over Anders in the process.

“Okay, I see what you did there but you can’t just rework quotes to suit-“

“I can do whatever I want bitch, because I’m about to go loco I’m full of the juice!” Adam cuts off Blake with a roar causing his roommate to glare back.

“So you actually wanna go all the way loco then bro?” Blake questions placing his hands up to his face in fake shock announcing “ Let’s go then because I will make you spill your guts!”

“Shouldn’t we be worried though first that Anders could possibly be dead?” Adam questions completely ignoring Blake’s rant, kicking his dude husband’s foot but there is no response.

“Great, Anders is dead so now I’m definitely gonna have to kick your ass!” Blake states whilst fist punching the air, in preparation for the impending beat down.

“Do we really have to get rid of his body-

“Or better yet let’s just give him a good send off, like those dudes do for that weekend at Bernie’s guy!” Blake cuts off Adam excitedly with a wide grin framing his face.

“I’m not dead you morons.” Anders groans sounding a lot like he was moments away taking his last breath.

“You sure sound like-“

Blake chooses this moment to make his first move, sick of hearing Adam talking he punches him directly in the stomach, which sends the guy reeling back as he loses his footing on the roof.

“What the fuck?!” Adam wheezes as he collapses onto his back, knocking empty bottles and cans of alcohol around, sending them off in various directions.

“I just almost knocked you out!” Blake declares triumphantly with a fist pump aimed at the sky but then he quickly adds as an afterthought “ Er, you’re ok though dude right?”

“Such a pussy!” Adam sputters with a shake of his head.

“Why am I being a pussy now?” Blake snaps back briefly wishing that he had hit Adam a little harder.

“You apologise too much for starters.” Adam groans as he gets up onto his knees and states “ No chick is going to dig your constant questions and apologies.”

“Ok, I’m sorry-“

“Can I just put you out of your misery?” Adam questions with a hollow laugh, heartily aimed at Blake who was still staring up at the dark night sky.

Before Blake could answer Adam goes to grab his bro, maybe knock some sense into him as he kicks his feet out, whilst administering a swift albeit messy upper cut to his chin in retaliation to being punched in the goddamn stomach.

“Fuck, dude!” Blake sobs as he tries to sit up on his knees, thankfully not tasting blood because he had managed to bite his tongue when he had been hit in the mouth.

“Nothing but net-“

“You punched me in the mouth!?” Blake snaps with a sudden faint lisp, at the same time that he tastes iron on his tongue, which instantly makes him start to pout.

“Well it finally shut you up!” Adam retorts happily as he bounces on his feet, the alcohol was making him feel invincible right now.

“Fuck you, man!” Snaps Blake with a cough as he goes to reach for a beer, but it looks like they were all out seeing that the red cooler box was practically hanging off the roof.

“Stop being a crybaby Blake and fight me back!” Adam yells ignoring Anders who is telling him to shut the fuck up, but he was too busy flexing his arms to care right now.

“Dude just stop I’m done-“

“When the hell did you actually become such a pussy Blake?” Adam questions with a loud snort aimed at his friend who wasn’t meeting his eye.

“Why do you even care so much?” Blake retorts in frustration, whilst running his long fingers angrily through his hair.

“I need my dudes to be firing on all cylinders but Anders is dead, and Blake you need-“

“Will both of you shut the fuck up!?” Snaps Anders who was clearly still alive, flipping off his dudes from the comfort of the roof which wasn’t very comfortable at all.

Hearing male voices makes Imogen quickly stop again trying to pin point their direction, whoever it was they were making quite the noise so it’s only a minute or so later, that she has found the source and also perhaps her saviours.

Looking right Imogen notices three figures on the roof of what she presumed was their house, one of them lying down whilst the other two were arguing, with sounds of broken glass and some pretty colourful language being exchanged despite the hour.

What the hell?

Imogen pauses from rocking up the driveway to think about this, because all of her quick thinking ideas had lead her to this point, fucking lost and possibly about to be kidnapped or worse.

But with a shake of her head Imogen brushes some hair behind her left ear, deciding that after all this was done she would watch less true crime documentaries, and in the future not take Ellie’s advice to get back out there again.

Seeing that said advice had resulted in Imogen leaving the party with a bad taste in her mouth, not due to her dates negligence in eating pineapples, but instead with a sense that this bullshit had happened all before leaving her feeling particularly salty.

Yet another guy who was treating her like a toy of the moment, until the next biggest thing came along and Imogen would undoubtedly get ditched yet again, toxic dudes were her thing it appeared but something had to fucking give right now.

Additionally the pepper spray which was currently sat on the desk in her room, could’ve come in use right now so Imogen only had her dead cell phone as a weapon, or failing that one of her heels which made more sense if truth be told.

Stepping onto the driveway of the house which looked like it should really be demolished, what with all the junk on the lawn and a large blanket fort that looked like it had been made by children, Imogen smirks despite herself because this was clearly where she was going to die.

Adam squints is brown eyes when he notices someone on their property, unsure if it was a trick of the light but the person looked female shaped, a shape that he definitely appreciated right now looking back at Blake who was slumped down in one of the old lawn chairs.

“What’s wrong-“ Begins Blake but his eyes catch the moving figure, who was quickly approaching the front of the house, with a distinct click of heels against the pavement that makes him sit up straighter in his seat.

Adam widens his eyes as he grins happily at Blake who smirks back cheekily, were they surely hallucinating or had one of them hit their head too hard again, because this was too good to be true he had to be passed the fuck out dreaming of this very moment.

“So you can see the chick as well?” Adam asks Blake who silently nods back, and that pretty much confirms both of their suspicions.

“Yeah, I’m really here but what are you guys doing up there?” Imogen questions looking up to see both dudes staring at her with open mouths, great her first sign of life in ages were two idiots on a roof…plus another one passed out.

“Just working out on the roof no biggie!” Adam answers with a wink, once again flexing his muscles, as he wishes that he had taken off his tee shirt beforehand.

“Come on dude.” Blake scoffs at him causing Adam to look back, mid pose and glare darkly at his bro.

“What, you jealous?” Laughs Adam which quickly stops when he feels a lurch in his stomach, probably because he hadn’t stretched out first.

“Off you? Hardly.” Blake scoffs in a voice that he almost believes himself for once.

“Check this out!” Adam shouts loudly as he moves his arms upwards, but then tries to fight with the tee sleeves so he could show off his guns.

“Dude, stop.” Blake groans but he is very surprised, when his friend actually listens to him, dropping his arms back down to his sides pretty quickly.

“I’m gonna be sick-“ Adam shouts loudly as he turns his back on the chick, and proceeds to projectile straight onto a drowsy Anders who wakes up again as a result of course.

“What the-“

“Oops, my bad!” Adam gargles as he then continues to throw up, making Blake step back as Anders tries to roll away quickly.

“Are you ok?” Imogen questions dubiously noticing the dude being sick whilst waving his hand, spotting another figure sitting up as he proceeds to point at her, complete with a very confused look on his face.

“Yes, I’m here on your front yard-“

“Why did you puke on me Adam?!” Shouts Anders cutting off the hot brunette in front of him, the men were talking right now and he was really pissed.

“Wait right there okay I will be down in a second!” Blake announces quickly seeing an “in” to speak to the chick first, what with Adam making crying noises, and Anders slapping him on the back way harder than necessary.

“What is even happening right now?” Imogen questions to herself quickly glancing away from the roof, maybe she should just make a run for it and let the night decide her fate instead.

Tugging at her dark purple vest top with crossed straps Imogen folds her arms across herself, bravado having abandoned her briefly as she was all alone right now but with a firm couple of words said, she shakes off this lapse in judgement to place the imaginary visor back down once again.

This was good she had finally found signs of life here in the suburbs, even though the guys themselves were currently arguing on the roof this was literally the best that Imogen was going to get, as she briefly daydreams about her unmade bed fondly.

Who ran out of battery on their cells these days weren’t they supposed to last longer? Also Imogen hadn’t bothered with a purse, so she wasn’t ready for this kind of late night shenanigans, all she wanted right now was her laptop and to perhaps check out her private tabs again.

You know the ones that you reference back on when you have a shitty encounter with your date, the kind that leaves you wondering if the guy had actually ever met a women before, the thought has Imogen feeling horny briefly but knows that now wasn’t exactly the right time.

Thanks to her date who had left her high and dry, Imogen was suddenly feeling a warmth spread low across her stomach, the kind that would eventually need attention because her body was betraying her mind which was on serious high alert right this second.

Which was why as soon as she got back to her apartment later she would be hitting those tabs, maybe even video call her asshole date and show him what he could’ve done with his hands but didn’t, because that was exactly why Imogen was feeling this way it had been a hot minute.

…and she was suddenly feeling a little needy.

Only right now she should be more worried about not making it back alive instead, these guys were of course strangers and Imogen had met some creeps in her life, that was a guarantee so why was she suddenly feeling herself what kind of sick joke was this?

Meanwhile Blake is glad that he is currently wearing a pair of protective knee pads, as he stumbles down off the roof rushing round to the front of the house, brushing stray curls from his face as he looks down to notice all the dried beer stains on his white graphic tee shirt.

There was obviously no time to change real quick because his friends would jump in, Blake rarely got a change like this so ripping off the knee pads and chucking them to the ground, he burps loudly checking his tee shirt once more and decides that this was as good as it would get.

Cursing silently Blake is just glad that he isn’t as wasted as his roommates, only buzzing from the weed which was something he could deal with, but spotting the chick near the front door he skids to a comedic halt.

“Hey, there you are!” Blake states in an over enthusiastic voice, which sounds ridiculous even to his own ears as he grins happily at the brunette.

“Yes here I am, but where the fuck am I exactly?” Imogen questions back in a sing song voice, noticing the guy in front of her who was constantly touching his mess of curls.

“Oh, are you lost?” Blake asks removing his hands from his hair, as he places them either side of him trying not to look as awkward as he felt, which he definitely wasn’t sure that he was succeeding with.

“Completely! Can I borrow your phone to call a cab or-“

“Oh it’s too late for a cab this way in Rancho I’m afraid, maybe wait here for a couple of hours with us?” Blake explains with a sidelong glance and smile, that he hopes doesn’t make him look like an idiot.

“Fuck, fine!” Imogen states grudgingly as she then asks the guy in front of her “ You’re not gonna kill me are you?”

“I don’t even talk to hot chicks-“

“Well that’s a red flag right there!” Imogen announces with a roll of her eyes as she proclaims “You see we like to be called women not chicks, and I already know full well that I’m damn hot!”

“Oh you are so hot, move out of the way Blake!” Adam growls appearing from the shadows to reveal that he was covered in sick, causing the chick in front of him to take a step nearer to his roommate.

“Dude, you look gross-“

“Why are you even here right now when I’m not looking my sexiest!” Adam whines pulling a face, as he feels his stomach turn yet again but the moment thankfully passes.

“Am I safe here?” Imogen asks Blake whilst taking another step closer to him, noticing his hand reach out, but then he quickly moves it back to his side instead.

“Sure, we’re harmless-“

“Adam you’ve been eating my goddam bagel bites again!” Anders cuts off Blake shouting as Adam rushes off back inside the house, but the tall guy stops in front of the chick who was surprisingly still here.

“Adam went that way dude.” Blake informs Anders hoping that his friend, would quickly take the hint but the Norwegian held out his left hand instead to the brunette.

“Who is this?” Anders questions with a smug smile aimed at Blake, who stands strong because he currently wasn’t the one that was covered in puke right now.

“I’m Imogen, reasonably new in town, and currently very lost.” Imogen nods trying not to inhale the smell that was coming from the guy in front of her as she adds sarcastically “ I have nowhere else to go right now, so can you both do me a solid and not kill me.”

“Why are you so obsessed about being killed?” Blake asks Imogen who was definitely way out of his league, but surely he stood a chance against Anders at least once in his damn life.

“I’ve had a bad night-“

“Which has now been turned around by meeting me, I’m Anders don’t say my name wrong and we will get along just fine.” Anders states with a wink interrupting the brunette, who was glaring back at him.

“Are you really trying to hit on me right now, when you’re literally covered in your friend’s puke?” Imogen asks him whilst folding her arms across her front, a look of dismay plastered across her face.

“He wasn’t-“

“Dude, I was hitting on her but it appears my time here was wasted.” Anders retorts attempting to save face, as he cuts off a confused looking Blake.

“Zero points for effort there Anders, why don’t you take some tips from Blake here, and act like a normal guy?” Imogen questions with a tip of her chin looking up at Anders who was slowly rolling his eyes.

“News flash I am acting like a dude but it’s clear to see that you don’t get hit on a lot-“

“Only by assholes.” Imogen replies at the same time that Blake lets out a nervous laugh, causing her to grin back at him.

“Walk it off dude-“

“Whatever this chick isn’t worth it, Blake you haven’t got a chance in hell!” Anders cuts off his roommate, who glares at his retreating back as he heads back into the house.

Anders cannot believe the mouth on that chick Imogen who he sees is still talking with Blake, the idiot who had decided to make a blanket fort outside earlier, clearly Ders was out of her league and she wasn’t after someone of his calibre.

Spotting Adam who was now shirtless in the messy kitchen, chugging down some warm orange juice Anders glares back at him also taking off his long sleeve, unable to not flex which his friend clearly notices as he rolls his brown eyes.

“Dude I’m not in the mood for a flex off-“

“Yeah because you are definitely not looking your best right now.” Chuckles Ders with a laugh whilst Adam rolls his eyes right back.

“I can’t believe that chick-“

“Is still talking with Blake does she feel super sorry for the guy or something what’s her deal?” Anders cuts off Adam grumpily but then shakes his head to calm his voice.

“Hey that’s our dude right there, don’t go knocking Blakey down.” Adam states as he steps to his left, noticing his bro still outside but with a very awkward look on his face.

“He is totally gonna mess this up you know dude.” Anders states with an annoyed sigh.

“Well let’s go watch then.” Adam declares with a wicked grin, as the pair quickly go and stand blatantly at the door, waiting to see Blake crash and burn.

Imogen notices Blake’s roommates watching them whilst he was talking literal nonsense, but luckily for him he was kind of cute and she was resisting the urge to play with his hair, so right now she would just protect him from his so called friends.

Clearly none of them had ever been around women much, this was as obvious as the day was long so what would the harm be in helping out Blake, and staying close by him of course only because she didn’t trust the other two at all.

“So what were you guys doing up on the roof then?” Imogen asks Blake with a smile cutting him off from his rambling, as he rewards her with an appreciative grin back.

“Oh we always hang out up there and drink beers-“

“Chicks dig our parties and if they are really good then we show them the roof.” Adam announces cutting off Blake, as he stretches out an arm across the door frame.

“Lucky women.” Imogen snorts back which makes Anders give her a fake grin.

“Purely eights or upwards of that but you like to run your mouth, so that makes you lose some points.” Ders states wishing that he had a mic to drop, but instead he winks at the brunette named Imogen.

“I’d rather fuck myself than have you help me out anytime Anders.” Imogen announces which makes, both Blake and Adam burst out laughing.

“Oh that’s a good burn, a sexy one too!” Adam declares with a childless giggle, poking his tongue out in Imogen’s direction.

“Stay or go, I don’t give a fuck!” Ders snaps back clearly over all of this, as he stalks back inside the house.

“Well you can obviously stay let’s set you up on the couch.” Blake begins with a smile as he elaborates “ I can make you a coffee or find you a beer, a red bull?”

“Thanks I will definitely be sticking with you-“

“This guy?!” Adam questions moments away from being bitchy but he stops himself to state that “Blake is a good dude but be gentle with him.”

“Dude!” Blake argues back in a firm voice whilst Adam, tries and fails to look apologetic as he shrugs back.

“Show me this couch then because I’m completely over tonight!” Imogen explains ignoring the two friends, who were currently eyeballing one another hard.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come and check out my bedroom?” Adam asks in what he presumes is a seductive voice, but it has the opposite effect on Imogen who narrows her eyes.

“Definitely not, I’m going to stay with Blake he is the only one I trust-“

“Plus I do have some weed leftover from earlier.” Blake cuts off Imogen with a smile as she grins back with a firm nod.

“That will definitely help me sleep and forget about tonight!” Imogen explains following Blake who heads inside, with Adam moving barely an inch as she has to squeeze past him.

“You are being the opposite of cute right now Adam-“

“Well I don’t care what you think!” Adam cuts off Imogen with a snort as he runs off to his left, hearing a slam of a door signalling he had finally taken the hint.

“And then there were two!” Blake announces then looks away shyly, because he sounded like a dork right now.

“Not quite.” Anders announces reappearing from the kitchen with a nonplussed look on his face.

“Give it up dude.” Imogen rolls her eyes as Anders shrugs, sitting down on the couch next to the window, whilst Blake nudges you towards the other one.

“I just wanna see all this unfold-“

“What sitting here on the couch because nothing else is happening tonight.” Imogen emphasises her point, by cutting off Anders whilst Blake shakes his head glancing quickly down at his hands.

“Oh no it definitely isn’t!” Begins Anders with a laugh as he continues “ Little Blakey here has the least experience with chicks, emphasis on the word little if you know what I mean.”

“That isn’t true, I have the most experience for sure!” Blake states even though he doesn’t sound as convinced himself.

“In your dreams with your left hand.” Splutters Anders with a laugh which no one else reciprocates back.

“Good enough for me.” Imogen shrugs moving closer to Blake on the couch, who looks very shocked but tries to cover it well.

“I seriously don’t get this!” Anders questions as he gets up from the couch, pointing from his roommate to Imogen as he adds “ Dude you’re going to mess this up big time.”

Imogen watches in amusement as Anders storms from the room, glancing at Blake who also has a bemused look on his face, with silence filling the room between them at this rather late hour.

“I can go grab you a blanket-“

“Please don’t leave me here alone.” Imogen asks Blake whilst stifling a yawn because tonight felt like it was never ending.

“I will literally be right back in a sec!” Blake announces with a squeak in his voice, which he hoped that Imogen didn’t hear.

Grabbing an old blanket off his bed Blake notes that Adam’s door is still shut, but his eyes widen when he spots Ders watching him, through the small crack of his door an ugly smirk smothered across his face.

“Don’t forget the coats-“

“Cut it out dude Imogen isn’t here for that I’m just helping here out.” Blake cuts off Anders quickly lowering his voice as he glances back down the hallway.

“Nice guys finish last Blake, always remember that!” Anders announces raising his voice while his roommate rolls his eyes.

“Don’t you think I know that already!” Blake begins with a bite of his bottom lip adding playfully “ But I feel like I have a chance here for something so don’t ruin this for me.”

“Adam’s right bro, you just need to stop being such a pussy.” Anders states with a scoff closing his door loudly, which makes Blake grip the blanket that was in his hand tighter.

He could do this because the last thing that Blake wanted, was his friend to get into his head right now, they were fucking with him sure but he was ready to show them exactly how to get the girl.

…or at least hang out and flirt with because for once he had the place to himself technically.

Imogen was the full package she was hot, funny and told it like it is, something that Blake wasn’t able to do, but he was really excited at the idea of them hanging out on the couch together.

No his mind wouldn’t treat this like an opening to a porn video, sure Blake liked to take things slow but he knew Imogen wasn’t giving off that vibe, the last thing that he was ever gonna do was throw himself at her.

Blake was surprisingly good with social cues or at least sensitive to other people, his roommates fucking mentioned it enough, like it was a bad thing being a beta but he would show them that it was the total opposite.

Imogen feels sleepy on the couch staring at her phone, watching it charge as she had found a cable to fit her iPhone, messaging Ellie to briefly explain her night whilst wishing that Blake would hurry up.

Despite being incredibly awkward but kinda cute with it, Imogen wanted to get a fuller picture of these guys especially Blake, feeling the safest with him even though her intuition wasn’t on point tonight.

Looking up when she spots the guy in question Imogen smiles as he silently hands her the soft blue blanket, crashing back down onto the couch, whilst keeping a little distance between them as he settles into his seat with ease.

“Do you want a coffee or beer-“

“It’s way after two in the morning I need to crash.” Begins Imogen with another yawn tugging down at her vest top as she the adds “Let’s just sit here and relax though first because, I’m pretty sure that you mentioned weed earlier.”

“Good plan.” Blake nods with a grin pulling out a joint from behind his ear, leaning forward to lazily to grab a lighter from their messy coffee table.

Placing the joint between his lips Blake lights the end, taking a slow inhale inquisitive blue eyes firmly fixed on Imogen, who was smirking but watching him pretty closely.

Silently Blake hands Imogen the jay their fingers brushing, making him look away but then quickly back, just in time to watch the brunette lick her bottom lip in anticipation.

Fuck, this was a bad idea because currently Blake was already rocking a semi, even though Imogen had literally just said that nothing would happen, but his body was responding in a very different tone to his brain.

Imogen takes a deep pull of the joint closing her eyes with a smile, as some of the smoke escapes through her nose, opening her eyes with a soft giggle as she catches Blake watching her with his mouth open ajar.

“Did I not do it right?” Questions Imogen with a roll of her eyes, also wondering why he was looking at her like that right now.

“Huh?” Blake returns to the couch noticing the arched eyebrow that Imogen was wearing, because his mind was now betraying him by thinking sexy thoughts about the babe beside him.

“Where did you go-“

“You don’t wanna know.” States Blake cutting off Imogen who smirks back at him playfully.

“Oh, I think I can totally guess where you went.” Imogen begins with a laugh that makes Blake look down at his hands in his lap as she then asks him “Was I any good?”

Blake chokes on his exhale in response coughing deeply, at the very same time that Imogen laughs and watches as he wipes his damp blue eyes, with the back of his left hand noticing long fingers which was obviously important.

“Let’s roll back to that question later.” Imogen informs Blake with a wink as she then explains to him “ I want to know what the deal is with your roommates.”

“Oh, really?” Blake questions with a confused look on his face, until he realises exactly why Imogen was asking him this.

“Yeah, they are idiots how did you meet them and end up here?” Imogen questions feeling the weed she was smoking take effect, the space around her softening at the edges which was both calming and welcoming right now.

“At this house? Well the short version is we met at college, got chucked off campus for many reasons, and then ended up at our hellscape job that is telemarketing needing a place to live and this came up.” Blake explains in one long breath, followed by a slow inhale on the joint sat between his fingers

“I have so many questions.” Imogen replies with a giggle then adds “ Those guys are a little too full on but you, well you’re a nice dude Blake.”

“I get that a lot.” Blake sighs hating himself for imagining a scenario that included Imogen and him as he states “Of course women like the full on guys, us nice guys never finish at all.”

“No way.” Imogen shakes her head with a scoff noticing Blake’s eyes drop as she hastily ask “Because if that was the case then why am I sitting here with you.”

“I’m a loser-“

“Hardly you are a cute nerd at best but no way a loser, believe me I’ve dated some of those.” Imogen snorts whilst twisting round to face Blake better, causing her leg to push against his as he freezes on the spot.

“What idiots-“

“Who?” Imogen questions in confusion whilst her right hand moves to grab the still lit jay, but Blake lifts it up high above his head causing her to lean forward as he moved back grinning lazily.

“Those idiots who let you go but I guess if you weren’t single you wouldn’t be here.” Blake states looking down directly at Imogen, who was still trying to retrieve the joint she disliked not being in charge greatly.

“I’m here because of a shitty night with yet another shitty guy, but you perhaps might be the one redeeming feature about tonight Blake.” Imogen states with a flirty smile that Blake reciprocates, feeling the endorphin boost all the way down to his toes.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Blake smirks as he goes to hand Imogen the joint, his body moving closer to hers as she attempts to grab it again, but instead he places it down onto a small rolling tray.

“You should-“ Before Imogen can finish that sentence Blake has firmly planted his lips on hers, causing her to stop talking and take a moment, to actually wonder what the hell this guy was doing with his tongue.

“What’s wrong?” Blake questions as he quickly moves his mouth away, with the tip of his tongue sticking out between his teeth, when he realises that Imogen isn’t kissing him back.

“Let’s take things a little slower-“

“Ok, well you can have my bed then and I will just stay out here on the couch.” Blake states with a resigning nod, the boost from earlier being replaced with secondhand embarrassment.

“Er, no.” Imogen states with a shake of her head as she elaborates “Kiss me again instead but this time, take it much slower because there is no rush.”

“Sure, I can do that.” Blake nods looking anything but confident, as he moves closer again, with one arm spread along the back of the couch and his right hand placed lightly on Imogen’s hip thumb brushing against bare skin.

“Hey, don’t look so glum.” Imogen informs Blake with a soft smile.

“You’re only gonna hate it again.” Blake scoffs hating the self doubt, that was being awakened inside of him by his anxiety.

“Try me.” Imogen tells him with a grin clocking the look on Blake’s face, the innocent one that told her that this was important for him.

Silently nodding Blake opens his mouth a tiny fraction, then moving closer he meets Imogen once again, their lips dancing together only this time without his tongue vibrating crazily against her teeth.

Instead barely there kisses greeted Imogen that made her almost want to sigh, body responding accordingly to the anticipation moving her left hand to hold onto Blake’s broad shoulder, the motion makes him deepen their connection which finally causes a noise to escape from her lips.

That makes Imogen grab a handful of Blake’s tee shirt as a result pulling him closer, whilst he re introduced his tongue slowly almost teasingly, and then when he hears the noise that comes from Imogen once again it almost undoes him as a result.

“Better?” Questions Blake hesitantly noticing the dazed look, that was gleaming on Imogen’s face as she nods back eagerly.

“Don’t stop!” Huffs Imogen as Blake grins goofily whilst tugging at his tee shirt, pulling it up over his head rather aggressively in one quick move.

Blue eyes meet Imogen’s once more as Blake notices the look she was giving him, unable to resist the urge to flex his pecs which makes a smirk appear on the brunettes face, this pleases him greatly as his good mood is restored back from factory settings.

“You’re looking at me the same way that Adam looks at KFC food.” Blake chuckles especially when he sees a dusting of red, colour Imogen’s cheeks in response making her look all the more cuter.

“So what are you going to do about it then Blake?” Imogen asks with a smile at the quick learner who was seated next to her, the same guy who had just pulled her heartstrings as well as a few other muscles moments ago…

[pretendfan]

~Nice guys finish last~

~PART TWO~

Imogen and Blake are still on the couch where we left them and it’s anyone’s guess what is about to happen, will Adam and Anders continue their quest on ruining their roommates chances, or will Blake do it all by himself?

TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!!!

(this story is season 7 vibes)

Blake Henderson x OFC Imogen Harper

(7.5k words)

WARNINGS: 18 plus, lots of swearing, mentions of alcohol and smoking weed, Adam throws up, oral sex, hand stuff, awkward personified, Blake is a quick learner, stoner bro humour, like an episode of the show it’s satire, very much on point with the show, these guys are idiots/ adjacent toxic bros, Blake is a babe here, Anders and Adam are basically themselves…its fun!!!

Anders glares at his bedroom door when he can hear Adam snoring through the walls, tonight had been a huge pile of bullshit, and to top it all off Blake had a chick with him whereas he was left alone with his left hand yet again.

Quickly placing the noise cancelling headphones over his head, Anders adjusts them and then pulling down the top of his sweatpants, he smirks to himself as he settles on his bed ready for a little fun of his own.

Feeling his buzz heightened courtesy of sharing a joint with the babe next to him, Blake silently grins because he doesn’t even have to think twice, let alone overthink when he places his hands on Imogen’s forearms pulling her languidly onto his lap.

“Sweet move right there, well done.” Imogen grins back at Blake noticing how his eyes darken, after she had praised him which was very interesting indeed.

This guy was hot as hell what with the buff body he had hidden under his tee shirt, Blake should be fucking worshipped and Imogen felt that she was just the women to do it, previous thoughts of being killed all but forgotten at this point.

…having now been replaced by a bright and feral mist of horniness instead.

“I have some moves, we do watch porn all the time you know.” Blake announces with a quick smile.

“That’s good.” Imogen nods back with a laugh as she then announces “But this will be way better, because it’s real life and like right now.”

“You smell so damn good.” Blake groans dipping his head so he could taste Imogen’s neck, warm lips finding her sweet spot as she bucks on his lap.

Curly hair tickling under her chin and arm but Imogen didn’t mind, whilst he sucked on her neck just below her ear a part of her body which was very responsive, just like the outline of Blake’s dick which brushed temptingly against her denim cladded thigh.

With lips pressed firmly together once again Blake needed to calm down, he was already hard as fuck and he didn’t want to blow it, literally the last thing that he wanted to do was pre in his boxers because that would be absolutely humiliating.

Feeling Imogen’s hands exploring his chest felt so fucking good right now, fingers gliding playfully across ridged muscles which Adam liked to call glamour ones like they were just for show, but none of that actually mattered of course Blake reminds himself.

“I’m gonna need this.” Imogen announces cutting into whatever Blake had been thinking about, as she takes his left hand removing the brown hair tie from his wrist.

Gathering her hair up with a smirk when she notices Blake staring at her chest, the dude appeared a little inexperienced sure but he made up for it by being cute, also Imogen was pretty sure that she could peep those v lines over his pants which was also very sexy.

Finally with her hair up in a bun Imogen smiles when Blake resumes making out with her, hands on her hips as he traces his fingers up her sides gently, which felt nice as she leans away from the kiss clumsily to pull her vest top off over her head.

“Oh fuck!” Blake states closing his eyes quickly, looking pained because his dick was throbbing so much, he was either going to definitely pre or pass out he wasn’t exactly sure which one would happen first.

“Are you ok?” Imogen asks noticing that Blake was gritting his teeth pretty hard right now, avoiding both her gaze and black lace bra at the same time.

Blake re opens his eye’s slowly to spots Imogen smiling at him, the glow from the light above them illuminating this half naked babe who was straddling his lap, fuck he needed to figure this out and quick.

…moving one hand down to his pants so he could subtly readjust himself.

“I need to calm down-“

“Why? Let’s get weird!” Imogen states with a firm nod because this was fun, and definitely a good way to end a night out.

“Yeah but you said earlier to Anders that nothing would happen on the couch between us.” Blake reminds Imogen then instantly feels like an idiot, for doing the thing when instead he just needed to get a grip.

“Dude, you kissed me first.” Imogen reminds him with a playful grin still seated on his lap as she continues “And now that we’re here I really like this position and what it could do for both of us.”

“Me too, I’m here for it.” Blake replies with a chuckle moving his hands tentatively from Imogen’s hips, gliding them slowly round to her thighs his palms flat and fingers ready.

“I know I can feel exactly how excited you are and it’s making me hot-“

“Wait till you see it.” Cuts in Blake darkly which Imogen takes the wrong way, as a push not the insult that it really was.

“Stop teasing.” Imogen replies playfully but stops when she notices the look on Blake’s face.

“I was a later bloomer ok, and it’s not, well it’s not that big my dicks sorta below average really and I-“

“Ok, if you want to stop dude we can.” Imogen explains softly to Blake, starting to move but he stops her, by pressing his hands harder into her warm thighs.

“No, of fucking course not.” Begins Blake looking up at Imogen as he then states “I just wanted to tell you incase you were disappointed.”

“Who hurt you? Literally I will kill them how dare you feel this way Blake, you’re kind and I will say it yet again a full on hottie.” Imogen demands in a loud voice, guessing that his roommates, were partly to blame for his lack of confidence.

“Hearing you defend my honour, well my manhood at least is definitely sexy as fuck.” Blake nods with a smirk, looking back down at his hands on Imogen’s thighs, thick thumbs brushing against her soft dark grey jeans.

“Good because this needs to be fun-“

“Sorry if I’m ruining your buzz at all.” Begins Blake cutting Imogen off with a smirk as he adds “But I’ve totally got a way of making it up to you only I need your help.”

“What do you want me to do?” Imogen questions with a bite of her bottom lip, leaning back again so she could take in the guy whose lap, that she was still straddling with pleasure.

“I want you to take off your jeans for me right now.” Blake states after a brief pause, eyes now riveted on Imogen’s with heated tension unsurprisingly entering the chat between them.

“Like this?” Imogen asks standing up from his lap, to perform the task very slowly of course, which makes Blake smile back smugly.

“That’s it.” Blake announces in a low voice audibly gulping as he quickly adds “Now come and sit back on my lap but face forward instead.”

“Now that’s hot!” Imogen giggles as she takes a seat back down on him, her back pressed firmly against his bare chest, which felt ever so good right now as she turns and clocks the look on Blake’s face.

Reaching out Imogen brushes some hair away from Blake’s face, then they proceed to make out again like horny teenagers, one arm wrapped around his neck tightly with her other hand placed firmly on his chest.

Blake instinctively reaches round to grab one of Imogen’s breast squeezing it gently, then he slowly ghosts his fingers down her front, until said fingertips trace against the soft lace of her underwear.

Hearing Imogen’s breathing hitch Blake continues to move his hand, both of them making a noise when his fingers brush up against wet fabric, then him grunting when he feels his cock jerk in his pants because if he died right now he would die so damn happy.

Making small circles on her clit with the pads of his fingers, Blake looks up to see Imogen with her eyes closed a smile playfully gracing her lips, causing him to improve his efforts as he starts to move his digits quicker.

“Fuck, that’s good.” Imogen begins opening her eyes to watch Blake’s hand encouraging him along by demanding that “Do not stop under any circumstances!”

“Not even once-“

“Not ever!” Groans Imogen cutting off Blake who had moved his hand off course, causing her to narrow her eyes at him briefly.

“Ok then, but what if I do this?” Blake questions flattening two fingers against Imogen’s soaked underwear, which defined the curves of her pussy, as he felt her thighs spread further apart just for him.

The motion makes Imogen buck in return on his lap, yet another gasp falling from her open mouth, unable to believe how much better Blake was than her date who had sucked but this guy was a unsung hero right now.

“That good huh.” Blake states playfully as he finally moves aside Imogen’s underwear, exposing her bare, hand resuming as he sinks a finger inside of her pussy which felt like pure magic.

“I need more-“

“Another finger?!” Blake splutters far louder than necessary, which makes Imogen giggle but also nod quickly in the affirmative.

Doing as he was told Blake introduces a second finger, which slides in as easily as the first feeling her pussy muscles clench him hard, the motion causes his balls to ache as he lets out a pathetic whine.

Leaning flush against his chest Imogen smiles when she feels Blake nuzzle his face in her neck, hand angled just right as he teased her and his wide palm, kept brushing against her already throbbing clit it was beautiful torture.

Blake could feel that it wouldn’t be long what with her pussy, gripping his fingers tight as he fucked her, Imogen felt so good and his hand was soaked which he knew was clearly a very good thing.

Imogen is so close feeling her muscles pull up and tighten, gripping that little bit firmer onto Blake’s shoulder as he continues to fuck her with his fingers, hearing various noises fall from her lips but right now she didn’t care.

However Blake looks up alarmed from the sounds that Imogen was making, worried one of his dudes would come out and ruin it, so thinking quickly he moves his right hand from her hip to cover her mouth.

Feeling the vibrations of Imogen’s soft moans on his hand, makes Blake jerk his hips upwards literally so close to reaching the end himself, because this was unbelievable surely he was dreaming right now.

With Blake rocking himself up against the curve of her ass, this motion makes Imogen’s pussy pulse as she feels her orgasm suddenly take over her, wave after wave of pure unadulterated pleasure riding it out on his fingers which were still nestled deep inside her.

Blake meanwhile sits completely still because otherwise he was definitely going to bust, but more importantly he just wanted to remember this moment, the time that he actually made this babe come with the use of only his fingers.

Nipping at his right hand Imogen grins when he moves his fingers from her mouth, biting her bottom lip with a very satisfied smile which quickly follows, as she tries to slow down her breathing.

“You’ve got some very talented fingers there dude.” Imogen states with a laugh still on a high, after all that happened tonight, it was all a set up for this very moment.

“I play a lot of video games-“

Blake is cut off by Imogen’s lips as she moves from her position, twisting round to place a knee between his legs, then eventually moving away she drops down to his feet looking up at wide blue eyes.

“Now it’s your turn.” Imogen states with a quick wink aimed at a shocked looking Blake.

“I definitely won’t last.” Blake states back with a shake of his head.

“No matter how long you last just enjoy it but be a good boy and keep quiet.” Imogen replies sincerely but with a faint smirk on her face.

“I can do that.” Blake announces whilst tipping his head back to face the ceiling, as he feels Imogen undo his jeans and yank them down over his thighs.

When he feels Imogen’s hands trace over his hip dips, those lines that his bros were jealous about Blake let’s out a hissing noise, whilst his cock jerks in his boxers causing a faint gasp to be heard as he lowers his head back down.

Imogen moves both of her hands to Blake’s flat stomach letting the fingernails glide downwards, following the helpful happy trail of hair from the belly button to the top of his boxers, then placing two fingers underneath the fabric she hurriedly pulls it away from his tanned skin.

Then moving her other hand down Imogen frees Blake’s dick and pulls it out above the boxers, noticing how tense the guy suddenly becomes as his abs ripple in defence, glancing back up to see that he had his eyes closed and was taking very deep breaths right now.

“Open your eyes, I want you to watch me Blake.” Imogen begins with a soft purr followed by a smile, when he does exactly that just for her.

“I’m good.” Blake announces with a curious grin morphing on his cute face.

“Good boy, now sit back and enjoy.” Imogen states moving forward, so she could then take the tip of Blake’s cock into her mouth.

If this guy thought he was below average then Imogen wanted to protect him at all cost, to be fair she wasn’t a size queen but Blake was packing something, and the look in his eyes was doing something yet again to her body.

So holding onto the base of his cock with a firm grip, Imogen opens her warm mouth welcoming him with her soft tongue as it darts across the head, causing Blake to gasp gently but also grip tightly onto her shoulders at the same time.

A couple of more explorative licks later and Imogen moves her head to take all of Blake, sure the dude wasn’t long but he was thick at least she could feel him comfortably framing her mouth, filling it with his cock her eyes glancing up to see that he already looked pretty fucked.

Blue eyes glazed over complimenting his mouth which was loosely hanging open, a pink hue on his cheeks to finish off the look followed by his hands, quickly moving from Imogen’s shoulders up to her head possessively.

… which she responds to with a firm suck of his cock, that has him jerking his hips upwards and pulling on her hair gripping it hella tight.

“I’m sorry-“

“Do not apologise!” Begins Imogen having lifted her head up, with Blake’s wet dick sliding out of her mouth as she explains “Pull my hair and set the pace for me, sweet thing.”

Imogen groans as Blake pushes her head down back towards his dick, with her opening her mouth to resume the blowjob but this time taking his cues, with him clutching onto her head firmly almost painfully but she liked to be dominated so didn’t exactly care right now.

“Your mouth is like heaven.” Blake mutters out loud followed by a muffled cry, when Imogen re introduces her hand and turns this into their own party.

Noticing Blake’s eyes roll back causes Imogen’s pussy muscle to clench, when moments later he grunts and the first taste of salty cum hits her throat, swallowing his release at it slides down her tongue and she continues to basically suck him dry.

“Holy s-h-i-t!” Blake states loudly after an attempt had been made to keep quiet, but that was possibly the best orgasm of his life and he was now officially in love or something.

“Did you enjoy-“ Before Imogen can finish that sentence Blake leans forward, gripping his hands hurriedly under her arms to pull her up, their lips meeting once again then seconds later tongues intertwine as they make out yet again.

“Ouch, cramp!” Imogen eventually pulls away when she feels a stinging pain in her thighs from crouching, fully standing up with a very satisfied look on her face, as she slumps back on the couch next to a sated looking Blake.

Pulling up his boxers again with a sly grin on his face, he felt on top of the world right now no fuck it he was the king of the world, this was it now he was totally an alpha dog after this.

Imogen was lost in her own thoughts whilst their warm bodies pressed close together, all the while silence was resumed as the night is present, but she felt safe right here next to Blake who rewards her with a sexy smile.

“That was fun.” Blake states happily which makes Imogen smile, and nod back because it was very true.

“I need a drink-“

“Glass of water? On it.” Blake cuts off Imogen by practically leaping up from the couch, and she watches his retreating back and cute butt.

Officially tired Imogen stifles a yawn noticing the joint which was long gone, an obvious shame but what had happened instead of finishing it, was something she would be thinking about for a while to say the least.

It wasn’t a case of feeling sorry for Blake at all because the dude made her feel funny, like that kicking your heels courtesy of a new crush feeling which hasn’t happened in a long while, yet here she was trying to ignore the blush on her face when the guy in question reappears.

Taking the blue plastic cup from Blake’s had she takes a long gulp, then handing it back watches as he sits down close on the couch both of them still in their underwear, but neither feeling awkward as they relax in each others company with ease.

“I guess we wasn’t that loud then seeing how your roommates haven’t made an appearance yet.” Imogen states with a cheeky smile biting her bottom lip soon after.

“I’m glad they didn’t-“

“Me too! But seriously I’m so tired let’s just crash here on the couch together.” Imogen cuts off Blake moving the blanket closer to them, but then stops to pick up his tee shirt from the couch arm instead.

Blake feels his mind short circuit when he tries to take in what Imogen had just said to him, but then she proceeds to pull his white tee over her head and he overheats, because she looked both so cute and hot as the hem of the tee hits high up her soft thighs.

…which was a picture that he definitely needed framing.

“You want me to stay?” Blake asks finally his eyes, moving back up to Imogen’s as she silently nods her approval.

“Of course I’m not going to kick you out of here!” Imogen jokes making Blake rolls his eyes back with a small laugh.

“Good because this is my house-“

“Dude, just get over here.” Imogen demands and Blake complies sitting back in his seat, letting her pull the blanket over them as they snuggled awkwardly together.

There wasn’t much room for both of them but Imogen would make do, cuddling into Blake as she places her head on his warm bare chest, whilst he folds an arm around her shoulder the pair of them relaxing until sleep will take them where they need to be.

The pair of them talking absolute rubbish in low voices, until Imogen soon falls asleep and Blake finds himself watching her, sure he had some interactions in the past with chicks but nothing like this.

…partly wanting to boast to his dudes of course, but mostly he wanted to just keep this experience all to himself.

Eyes closing Blake kicks at the blanket because it was annoying him, he much preferred being closer to Imogen, still unable to comprehend what had happened but he had the widest smile on his face to prove it.

Wide awake, hungover and in desperate need of a drink Anders slowly finishes getting dressed, just not in the same outfit as last night where Adam had once again been sick on him, three times in as many days wasn’t a good look for his roommate.

Various memories pepper his mind to taste as he shoves a blue tee shirt over his head, brushing hair away with his left hand which stops when he recalls the brunette, unable to remember her actual name but just that he had left her all alone with Blake last night.

A wicked grin spreads across Anders face as he rushes out from his room, sure without a doubt that Blake was all alone on the couch having clearly ruined it with the chick, he would be licking his wounds either on said couch or in his bedroom.

Confidently walking down the short hallway with a renewed spring in his step, Anders cannot wait to wind up Blake it was something he enjoyed doing often, because the guy was always getting into ridiculous scrapes and this time he’d bitten off way more than he could chew.

Scanning the living area when he sees it makes Anders chuckle, when he spots the back of Blake’s head exactly like he knew he would because the dude, had clearly been left high and dry seeing how he was absolutely terrible with chicks.

“Oh Blake-“ Anders begins quietly but then yelps, when he rounds the dark green couch to unexpectedly see, that his bro was most definitely not alone.

Blake was in fact shirtless but more importantly the brunette was wearing his tee, which usually implied that something had happened between two people, but this was his dude and he didn’t have a single clue about chicks.

…was he actually being punk’d right now, was that still a thing?

Both of them looked fast asleep with the girl curled up next to Blake, her head somewhere near his stomach using it as a pillow, whilst his roommate had an arm awkwardly wrapped around her middle it was quite the sight to take in.

“What the actual fuck?” Anders mutters to himself quietly, unsure if he had woken up in an alternate universe or something, because this shit was beyond weird.

Sure he was hungover but Anders very rarely hallucinated, unless he had been spiked by shrooms again courtesy of Adam, who liked to put them in food and watch him lose control something that he absolutely hated.

Standing still Anders continues to watch them both just incase if he suddenly moves, one of them would giggle and shout surprise because this obviously was a set up, otherwise all that he ever knew to be true was clearly all just bullshit.

Previous girlfriends of Blake’s and he used the term very lightly here, were all fives at best but Anders was amazed that he had hooked an eight at least, unless this was all a very short con like he had paid the chick to come here and pretend that she was lost.

…it had to be the only solution to all this fucking madness, because right now Anders really didn’t want to believe the truth.

Hearing a noise makes Anders look behind him to see Adam stumble into the room, groaning weakly until he clocks his homeboy Blake on the couch, which makes him cover his eyes and then quickly move his hand away.

…like even he couldn’t believe what the hell he was seeing.

“Did they-“

“I don’t know dude.” Ders cuts off Adam with a low voice and an aimless shrug.

“What the hell, did Blake finally score with a chick at last?!” Adam shouts loudly in response, clearly unable to hold his thoughts in, which obviously stirs the pair on the couch.

Blake opens his eye suddenly waking up to spot his two roommates in front of him, glancing down silently to spot Imogen moving slightly but then settling back down, making him look up to reward both Anders and Adam with a smug grin back at their very confused faces.

Pretending to still be asleep because Imogen woke up as soon as she had heard Adam shouting, but she would make a point of staying where she was instead, body nestled against Blake’s with her face on his front resisting the urge to giggle or say something stupid.

“What is this-“

“Yeah, did you two buck?” Anders demands ignoring whatever Adam had been about to say.

“Dudes-“

“You did not have sex!” Adam retorts with a sulky voice because this was so unfair right now.

With the best seat in the house Imogen hurriedly lifts her head up, trying to look half asleep but failing when she grins at Blake’s friends, sitting up to snuggle closer to him all the while placing her hand flat onto his chest with a soft pat.

The room is deadly silent as she gives him flirty eyes which were pretty genuine, Blake looked so cute in the morning with his messy curls all over the place, and a smile aimed right back at her that made her stomach feel funny which was ridiculous.

…what the fuck was going on here because did Imogen aged twenty eight and five month have a crush?!

“Guys, could you just give us some privacy please?” Imogen asks his friends making Blake chuckle at the same time, whilst his roommates both continued to look on speechless.

“Not a chance-“

“Are you wearing Blakey’s tee shirt?” Adam questions with a chuckle, swiftly ignoring whatever Anders was about to say in the process.

“It looks way better on me right!” Imogen declares as she moves the blanket off her legs, causing Blake to grab it and place it over his front hurriedly because he was rocking a semi right now.

“Hot damn!” Adam giggles back at the same time that, everyone can hear Anders cursing out loud in response.

“This isn’t right!” Anders stated bitterly as he removes his tee shirt, then decides to drop down on the floor and do some push ups.

“You want to push off right now bro?” Adam questions almost falling flat on his face, as he tries to copy whatever Anders was about to do.

Imogen glances at Blake her legs nestled close next to his, as he just grins and shrugs back obviously not caring what was happening right now, which suited her fine but she wished that his friends would take the hint and actually fuck off.

“You two need to leave-“

“Why don’t you two leave!” Adam snaps cutting off Imogen, who rolls her eyes back at him with a bored look on her face.

“It’s boring when you just copy what I say Adam, so take the hint and please leave us alone.” Imogen replies diplomatically, but her tone has an obvious hint of sarcasm added for garnish.

“Have fun then did you?” Anders asks with an obvious fake smile, spread widely across his face, as he stands and tries not to sound out of breath.

“Well actually-“

“Wait until I’ve left and then tell them how good you are.” Imogen cuts off Blake with a sly grin, standing up from the couch she then leans closer to Blake pretending to whisper something in his ear.

“Pretend I’m saying something hot.” Imogen explains to him with a soft giggle.

“Someone is still horny.” Blake chuckles back with an obvious wink aimed at Imogen, who semi plays along by biting her lip in return.

“This is a joke-“

“Blake you old dog!” Adam exclaims crying off Anders as he stands up from the floor, having not performed a single push up himself but flexes his arms regardless, it was just pure muscle memory at this point.

“There is absolutely no way you two hooked up!” Ders demands sounding beyond confused right now.

“It’s just a shame that these two idiots woke us up.” Imogen tells Blake ignoring his roommate as she adds “I was really hoping that we could have some more fun together.”

“We could totally go to my room-“

Blake is cut off by Imogen’s phone which starts ringing beside him, glancing awkwardly back at his bros who both have wide grins on their faces, he watches as she picks up her cell quickly leaving the room to take the call.

“Big swing there dude, now fess up!” Anders states with a wide eyed look at his buddy on the couch.

Meanwhile Imogen rushes to the end of the hall to take her call, locating the bathroom she presses the green icon, and hears her best friend Ellie sigh happily down the phone.

“You’re alive-“

“Totally, no thanks to you and your bad dating advice.” Imogen cuts off Ellie who tuts quickly in response.

“How is this my fault?” Ellie questions with a snort but then asks “So what the hell happened to you.”

Sighing Imogen pauses for thought despite still feeling very tired, last night had been a lot but meeting Blake had been the icing on the cake, a pretty sweet ending to a shitty evening.

“It’s a long story.” Begins Blake who then quickly adds “But I can’t tell you anything when Imogen is still here.”

“Making up random stories isn’t cool anymore dude.” Anders retorts standing tall in front of his roommate, whilst Adam looks between both of them pulling a stupid face.

The three of them were suddenly locked in some kind of stand off with Blake still seated on the couch, and his two friends standing in front of him, arms now folded across their chests like they were not going to be moved.

“Something did happen-“

“Clearly you prematurely evacuated your pants and ruined everything.” Jokes Anders causing Adam to nod in agreement.

“The complete opposite actually.” Blake states with a confident grin, one that he hoped conveyed just how much of a boss he was right now.

“So you found these three idiots on their roof and then proceeded to crash at theirs?” Ellie questions for the third time in as many minutes, making a noise which makes Imogen move the phone away briefly.

“That’s it I just hung out with one of the guys, and here I am talking to you now still completely alive.” Imogen explains with a smirk on her face.

“Pin drop me your location.” Ellie begins with a yawn and moments after Imogen performs this action her friend replies with “ What the hell are you doing in Rancho?”

“Bad date with a douchebag, followed by a creepy driver on the way home which resulted in me getting stranded here.” Imogen states with a sigh, because fuck knows what would’ve happened, if she hadn’t met the guys in the next room.

“Next time I’m coming with you, why didn’t you call me right away?” Ellie questions in a motherly tone, because she was always the one out of the pair to have their shit together.

“My phone died but one of the guys helped me out-“

“Not your date then?” Cuts in Ellie with a loud snort that does nothing for your current mood.

“No he was terrible, one of the dudes from the house hung out with me, he was really cute actually.” Imogen explains then seconds later instantly regrets it, wishing she could erase that sentence from existence.

“Well you can tell me all about it when I send a car to pick you up, and you meet me at our favourite coffee shop.” Ellie replies in a sweet voice, which makes Imogen cover a hand over her eyes, knowing she wasn’t going to live this down anytime soon.

“That doesn’t sound plausible, so remind me again how the hell did this happen?” Adam questions in a frustrated voice, whilst Blake just smirked back looking hella smug.

“First there was a joint and then one thing lead to another-“

“She saw your tiny spaghetti dick and felt sorry enough to have a few second’s of pity sex with you?” Anders questions with a loud and annoying laugh aimed at Blake.

“It’s not tiny.” Blake states darkly until a memory from earlier, has him grinning wide all over again, because he was the only one to get any action recently he was basically a hero.

“Why don’t you bring your new friend with you?” Ellie asks with a laugh which causes Imogen to tell her to fuck off.

“I literally just met the dude about five hours ago!” Imogen explains in a sing song voice this was getting very old very fast.

“You know you rarely call a dude cute anymore he must have left quite the impression-“

“A lady never tells.” Imogen cuts off Ellie by ending the call, whist imagining her friend laughing all the while.

A memory from earlier makes Imogen smile to herself because it had been fun, but now she needed to get dressed, and wait for the car that Ellie was sending her a perk of the job of being the best roommate around again.

Checking her reflection in the large bathroom mirror, Imogen likes how well this tee suits her it was white with a classic video game image of the front, with the film being a favourite of hers from when she was a little kid.

Even after noticing the beer stains down the front of the tee, Imogen still likes it enough to wear it back out until she could locate her clothes, pulling open the bathroom door to hear loud voices arguing in the next room.

“What the hell happened!” Anders demands followed by a loud scoff.

“Come on, tell us, come on!” Adam shouts in an excited voice like a child who had just heard the ice cream truck music.

“You’re both embarrassing yourselves right now, Imogen is still here-“

“Yeah she wants you to pay her because that’s the only way, Blake you hired this chick to pretend to like you.” Anders states not letting Blake finish his sentence, instead he hit his dude in the metaphorical balls where it would hurt the most.

“I’m insulted that you think I would do that, sure I’ve had someone play a girlfriend of mine in the past but that was only once!” Blake retorts with a firm nod, whilst quickly regretting re opening that can of worms all over again.

With a brief lull in the conversation Imogen walks back into the room, noticing the look on Blake’s face accompanied by his friends, who were grinning at her as if they had finally pieced together their imaginary puzzle.

“Did you hear that?” Adam questions with a chuckle, eyeing the brunette who was stood next to him.

“Yeah, I heard you both being assholes to Blake yet again.” Imogen deadpans complete with a fake smile on her face.

“We just want to protect him-“

“So do I!”Imogen cuts off Adam who rewards her with a weird look.

“Yeah but you don’t know this dude like we do-“

“This is ridiculous!” Blake snaps cutting off whatever Anders was about to rap, by standing up from his seat on the couch, only to then recall that his jeans were still undone.

Looking down in horror as his pants slipped down his legs, revealing tie dye boxers and his wilting morning wood, hurriedly bending down to pull said item of clothing back up ignoring everyone in the room.

“Did you get a hand job last night?” Adam questions glancing back at Imogen with a look of respect almost.

With a grin Imogen ignores the evasive question, instead dipping down to pick up her jeans and vest glancing up to clock both Adam and Anders, checking her out whilst trying and failing to not look so goddam obvious.

“I will be right back.” Imogen tells Blake with a wink as she heads off, back to the bathroom because it was time to leave, and wait for this car to arrive.

Changing back into last nights clothes wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t as if she could just wear this tee shirt back, even though she kinda wanted to but obviously wouldn’t admit that out loud.

Last night had been touch and go but this morning, helped get her groove back and not die because the idea had played on her mind, but now all she could think about was the moves that had played out with Blake.

“No seriously, what the hell happened on that couch, do we need to burn it and buy a new one?” Adam questions with a hint of disgust because one of their rules, was clearly no funny business on the shared furniture.

“Of course not!” Blake retorts with a snort quickly followed by a giggle as he explains “I think we cleaned up pretty well afterwards.”

“Can you put a tee shirt on I don’t want to have to see your abs anymore.” Scoff Anders looking away to see, that Imogen had come back at last.

“Here.” Imogen chucks Blake his tee which he grabs with one hand, pulling it over his head quickly, an adorable smile plastered across his face when it reappears.

“This ain’t cute anymore-“

“Dude.” Blake huffs angrily complete with a roll of his eyes, whilst looking a little pissed at his friends.

Imogen clocks the look and decides on the spot, to make a show of thanking Blake the dude was a good one, it needed to be acknowledged also that he was a hottie who had deft fingers to boot.

“It’s been lots of fun guys, but I need to bounce.” Imogen begins then looking directly at Blake she says “You were a true gentleman and fast learner too!”

“You mean still a virgin more like!” Anders slams with a loud laugh.

“So what?” Imogen questions rounding her eyes on Anders, who was obviously asshole personified at this point.

“Er with a tiny dick also, allegedly.” Adam states with a smirk.

“Dudes.” Blake states with a whine placing a hand in his mane of hair in obvious frustration.

“Well, I wanna see Blake again-“

“You do?!” All three guys question at the same time loudly, as if they were shouting at a tv as a cliffhanger scene on their favourite show played out.

“Walk me outside real quick.” Imogen tells Blake who nods back dumbstruck, and without a backwards glance at his friends the pair go to leave the house together.

“Oh it’s like that!” Anders shouts as he watches Blake open the front door, letting Imogen walk out first as he hangs his tongue out, whilst simultaneously throwing devil horns in the air at his friends.

Adam smirks back at Anders who rolls his eyes but heads to the front window, glancing out at his roommate who might have earned some of his respect, but the jury was still out on that verdict.

“I know that was all just an impressive act back there.” Blake says following Imogen down the front steps, then stopping a little way on the lawn, the pair of them standing close together.

“No, I’m serious-“

“Why?” Blake questions placing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans awkwardly.

“Well firstly you were super nice to me and you’re definitely, not as creepy as your friends.” Imogen nods back with a soft smile.

“We don’t get a lot of chicks, sorry women this way-“

“I will definitely be coming back to see you again, I’ve had a lot of fun Blake.” Imogen tells the guy in front of her, who still looks confused by everything that has happened, ever since he came down from the roof.

“We have a party most weekends, so I can add you to our guest list.” Blake begins with a chuckle as he then says “But first I will need your digits.”

“Sure thing.” Imogen nods as she tells him her number and he rushes to add it into his contacts.

“The party is gonna be so sick!” Blake cheers raising his left hand in the air, but he quickly moves it back down when he clocks the blinds moving in the window.

“Count me in, oh and Blake-“

“Yeah?” Blake questions softly.

“Thanks for being a babe.” Imogen states leaning forward to kiss him on cheek, but he moves his head right and she lands on his lips instead.

Two seconds worth of hesitation later and Blake pulls Imogen closer to him, hands gripping onto her forearms, as he leads the kiss and all she can do is sigh again into his mouth.

Anders slams his fist on the window as he goes to rush outside, with Adam bringing up the rear whilst making shocked noises, neither of them believing what was happening right now.

Eyes clocking the two idiots at the door Imogen proceeds to happily flip them off, which causes both Adam and Anders to shout back at her, as she wraps her arms tighter around Blake’s neck.

“What the hell-“

“Go Blakey!” Adam cries out proceeding to make barking noises afterwards right there on the front steps.

“Fine, you win dude!” Anders snaps trying to sound happy but he’s too hungover for this bullshit.

“Nice moves Blake, I can’t wait to see what you will do next week.” Imogen states as she pulls away from him, then spotting the car in the driveway saunters off with a perfect wiggle in her step.

Glancing back quickly Imogen notices the look of pure adoration on Blake’s face, followed by Adam standing like a statue and Anders waving his hands around angrily, which makes Imogen grin happily as she reaches the car.

Blake turns on the spot to clock his roommates who look confused still, but he had so much to tell them yet all he wanted to do right now was dance, which he does pulling some of his usual Shakira-esque shapes right there on the lawn.

That is until Blake hears his guys laughing at him, only to spot that Imogen was also watching with a cute smirk on her face, causing him to suddenly stop and refrain momentarily from looking like an idiot.

Now seated in the back of the car Imogen waves out of the window, spying Anders giving her the bird but Blake was waving his arms around wildly, the motion making her laugh and watch as the three figures slowly disappear from view.

Her saviours well at least one of them, who she would definitely be seeing again next weekend, already knowing the dress that she would wear to the party and all the possibilities it could hold for her.

Blake follows his dudes back inside the house a smug grin permanently on his face, even he wasn’t sure if it would ever go away, but for now he would just wear it with honour a badge of his skills and how he now had it going on.

“So, what happened then dude?” Anders questions in that annoying tone of his.

“Did you fuck-“ Adam begins

“No way!” Anders laughs at the very idea, but noticing the smug smile on his dudes face, makes him doubt his answer again.

“Dude, jealously is a hella bad look for you right now!” Adam laughs at Ders who bares his teeth as a response back.

“It’s nice to see the tables have finally been turned-“

“Are you gonna tell us about it or are you going to be a douchebag about it!” Anders cuts off Blake with a hurry up motion aimed at his roommate.

“I could tell you-“

“Did you finger bang?” Adam asks incredulously.

“Under the panties..” Blake starts to say but is cut off by his bros both yelling in his face, as all three of them start to dance to a silent soundtrack in their heads.

“Dude, today you’ve finally become a man and are no longer a pussy!” Adam high fives Blake who nods his approval right back.

“But you didn’t blow it?” Anders questions with a shake of his head, and an almost look of respect on his face.

“Nope, because Imogen helped me out with that.” Blake grins causing his friends to start moving and dancing again, with him joining in as Adam jumped up on the couch to shake his curvaceous booty.

Perhaps last night hadn’t been a total waste of time after all, both meeting Imogen and the things that had happened on the couch, would pretty much stay on his mind for a long time.

…Blake could hardly wait until next weekend the party was going to be awesome, and for once he had a pretty hot date as well.

[pretendfan]

Why don’t stories ever behave?

Why do I think of like a hundred other ideas whilst writing said first story?

Why do I choose old fandoms which are now harder to find?

Why can’t I focus on nothing else besides Blake Anderson 💦

{ I have so many ideas and I’m writing two things but there is very little Workaholics fan base here where y’all at?! }

[pretendfan]

Workaholics (fic list)

(love these dudes so much especially Blake & Anders who make me feral, which is why I’m here writing this bullshit in the first place, hope someone finds these and enjoy them…the fandom has to be somewhere?!

(One shots)

- Liquid Dreams

(Chapters)

- Nice guys finish last

(One shots)