#wonder how many incidents like this
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Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-Texas) was carjacked at gunpoint Monday outside his Washington, DC, apartment building, according to his office.
The 68-year-old south Texas lawmaker was unharmed during the incident in DC’s trendy Navy Yard neighborhood at approximately 9:32 p.m., according to DC’s Metropolitan Police Department.
“As Congressman Cuellar was parking his car this evening, three armed assailants approached the congressman and stole his vehicle,” Cuellar’s chief of staff Jacob Hochberg told The Post.
“Luckily, he was not harmed and is working with local law enforcement. Thank you to Metro PD and Capitol Police for their swift action and for recovering the congressman’s vehicle.”
Cuellar was reportedly outside “a dorm building in which dozens” of House members live, according to Axios reporter Andrew Solender, who cited a group chat used by the lawmakers who occupy the building.
Three men reportedly held guns to Cuellar’s head as they took his phone and vehicle, which was parked on the street, according to the group chat.
An MPD crime alert on the incident says police are on the lookout for “three black males wearing all black clothing” who made off with the congressman’s white Honda with Texas tags.
The alert warns the public to “not take action” but instead call 911 if the vehicle or suspects are spotted.
Capitol Police told The Post that the armed carjacking is being investigated by DC police and USCP investigators.
“Injuries were not reported. Detectives are working to track down the suspects,” a spokesperson for USCP said.
The incident is the latest in a series of violent crimes in the district this year that have affected members of Congress or their staffs.
In February, Rep. Angie Craig (D-Minn.) was assaulted in the elevator of her northeast DC apartment building by a homeless man with a long rap sheet. She suffered bruises as a result of the attack and got away by tossing her hot morning coffee at the assailant.
The following month, a staffer for Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) was brutally attacked in broad daylight by a knife-wielding assailant in DC, on the same street where Craig was assaulted.
The staffer, 26-year-old Phillip Todd, suffered serious injuries in the attack, including multiple stab wounds to the head and chest.
In June, a staffer for Rep. Brad Finstad (R-Minn.) was attacked at gunpoint near Nationals Park in Washington, DC, just hours after the conclusion of the annual Congressional Baseball Game.
That staffer suffered minor injuries in the attack, which occurred in the same neighborhood where Cuellar was carjacked.
To date, 750 carjackings have been reported in DC this year alone, with 75% involving a firearm.
That is a 115% increase in the number of carjackings from this time last year, according to DC police crime statistics.
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Chapter 96 - Home Visits
#boku no hero academia#deku#izuku midoriya#bnha#my hero academia#i wonder how many people are going to be upset with me for siding with inko here KDFJHGKJ#but no like seriously i wouldn't let him go back to ua!! he almost DIED#MULTIPLE TIMES!!!#i would've pulled him out of that school after usj!!!#i'm sorrryyy but that's her SON and i KNOW he has a dream but he can chase that dream in ANOTHER HERO SCHOOL#ONE WITHOUT A BIG FAT TARGET ON IT!!!#and like let's also look at that kidnapping incident from inko's pov real fast#yes yes i know this isn't about katsuki but it is for a second okay hear me out right#you're a mom. and there's another family in your neighborhood. right?#and they have a kid your son's age!#they're friends but that's not really relevant right now#what IS relevant is a kid your son's age that you know. that you've probably babysat at least once. on your block. was kidnapped by villain#and sure he got home safe but that's not what MATTERS (well it does matter. it's good he got home safe) what MATTERS is that it HAPPENED#and it's not like it happened at like the mall or something or somewhere your son wasn't with him for! it happened NEXT TO YOUR SON#your son WATCHED IT HAPPEN. he was THERE. it COULD HAVE BEEN HIM.#and it happened while under the school's care and watch.#i wouldn't let my son back into their care and watch if i was inko.#i really wouldn't.#okay rant over sorry i PROMISE
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Thinking about Rana introducing Groda to other people bc she has to be forced to socialize eventually. And like, Groda meeting Sunny eventually and immediately clocking that he's missing an arm and trying to subtly tug on Rana's shirt almost instantly while being very clearly panicked but still trying to hide it. And Rana eventually pulls her aside like "What?? what is it?" "You didn't tell me he was missing an arm!!" "...Why would that matter?" <- understandably getting the wrong impression from this "Because I've seen it before." "Oh."
And that was the day that Rana learned Sunny's arm was ripped off by Groda's Warden at the worst possible timing.
#i mean like she KNEW his arm was ripped off by Something but never really wanted to push it bc Sunny was never comfortable talking about it#but i don't think she ever really would have inferred that it was a Warden bc of the vagueness of when he DID talk about it#and then you have Groda in the caves who one day randomly hears the most loud pained screaming you have ever heard in your life#only to find a mutilated lower arm in a pool of blood. of which the footsteps painted by it trail off towards the entrance of the cave#and that was how Groda found out that Humans Are Back!#as a side note Sunny actually used to have a matching ring set with Efe (it wasnt like a marriage thing bc that doesnt really exist here)#the one half was lost during the incident where he lost his arm bc he was wearing it on that arm#and later down the line he would take that as a bad omen for his life and his relationship (though obviously Efe never loved him less)#despite how technical Sunny is he's rather superstitious#a few weeks after Groda properly met him for the first time though a small little bundle would show up at his doorstep#containing the ring he lost so many years ago seemingly perfectly preserved#i wonder who returned it...?#minecraft au mastertag
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I am nothing in my soul if not obsessive.
#yeah thats right we now return to our regular broadcast of angst posting about this film after a brief interruption of textpost memes#did not realise there's only a 10 photo limit to each post lmao i've never hit it before until now#so i had to go back and turn the 3 sets of individuals images into 1 image to i could fit them all#fun times for me#🤡🤡🤡#anyway i finished the secret history just over a week or so ago and even though i've moved on to the song of achilles now it still haunts me#like minds#murderous intent#like minds (2006)#nigel colbie#alex forbes#tom sturridge#eddie redmayne#nigel colbie x alex forbes#the secret history#donna tartt#i think whatever inspired this post is diagnosable in the dsm-v#sorry if this makes absolutely 0 sense i think reading the book provides a lot of the context for it#putting all the scenes together really had me realising how many times nigel traumatised poor alex over the course of the film#and the colbie house incident isn't even here. no wonder he's evil by the end of it
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chelsea fans moving like true coolers during the burofax drama icl
#good lord mount joined your club at SIX years of age and is leaving after dedicating EIGHTEEN years of his life to you#and THIS is how he gets treated upon announcing his leave?#having witnessed the way barça held messi prisoner for so many years against his will and washed 6 years of his club career down the drain#i will never ever fault a player if they choose to leave a sinking ship to salvage their career lol#fucking drogba is shading the club for fumbling mount and fans in the replies and qrts are calling him a snake i????#when did football fans become such sheeple are players no longer allowed to voice concerns over the state of the club they love?????#worshipping boehly and not even taking a second to consider his part in chelsea's absolute dumpster fire of a season that#made a player who's been at the club since SIX years of age leave ffs this is just like cholesterolaporta and his dickriders#really makes you wonder what coolers would've done had messi not been a wimp and forced a move in 2020 like he'd initially wanted to lmao#would've burned down his house in sunny catalunya probably the pig's head incident with figo would've looked tame in comparison dfkm#and pep.. good lord they'd have put his bald head on a pike
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I need- to depict- corruption chuuya in my dnd au. But I do not have the art skills for that. Nor have I designed an outfit for him post discovering corruption that I actually like
#wanna draw him making different planes coexist in the same space on the material by leaking so much interplanar energy#Its so gender I swear#Corrodubg existence like how if too many color are mixed it turns black- but it's with planes#*corroding#I wonder if that means he could potentially damage other planes while not on them in corruption -#extraplanar threat#The arahabaki incident left a crater in every realm-
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banging my head on the table
why do people have this urge to come onto other peoples' posts and make it about themselves.
the number of times ive talked about My Own Lore publicly and someones come onto My post to talk about their stuff while completely ignoring everything i said.
like do you not realize how shitty that feels. wouldnt you not want it to happen to you.
then why the FUCK do you do it to others.
#yes this is about xiv twt.#original#a recent SERIES of incidents of this nature reminded me of one that had me delete my own damn thread#i was just spitballing echo ideas and someone came in to take my ideas and start talking about their ideas and how to apply my stuff to#their character and everything witHOUT AT ALL acknowledging ANYTHING i said#(this is also the same person who i dm'd when trying to decide between two voice claims for surkie#and instead of giving feedback they just took one of them for their own character#''hey im thinking kaine or jackass'' ''oh i hadnt considered jackass for my character im gonna use that now! :)'' End Me.)#theres a common excuse that comes with a lot of these and i just. theres a point where you need to Stop using that excuse#because its such a widespread problem of people whove never been in collaborative writing spaces that dont know how to Take Turns Talking#or asking into the other person's stuff. like if you ever wonder why i stop talking to you#think for a second and maybe look back at the conversations to see how equal they are in terms of attention and consideration#at some point i just start ghosting bcuz im too exhausted to deal with people who just come onto my posts where im talking about My story#just to redirect to them and their shit and what they do its just#i already deeply feel like shit about what i write and i know the majority of the people who i talk to dont read my shit#i know of maybe 3 people who have out of How many people who've said they would but never have?#who say they like my writing but never actually touch it?#you dont need to add onto it by turning attention back to yourself when im talking to myself on my twt or tumblr.#what i decide to post about my writing is not a launching pad for you to go on about your wol and i s2g y'all need to stop#it's such assholish behavior
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Any time a bird is in captivity of any kind without fail there’s someone who shows up and goes ‘:( so sad, it should be FREE!’ Which, I’m very aware of the problems with cagebirds, but someone does this every time including when the bird in question is very clearly a genetic freak of some sort. For example, a rescue aviary near me used to have a lovely fantail dove, who according to volunteers was extremely friendly and loved cuddles and sitting on people’s heads. She’s passed away now, sadly, but on the aviary facebook there’s an old video of her and someone has put one of those comments along the lines of she should be in the wild. But she was so visibly a product of human selective breeding it was unreal. She had a huge, bulgy chest and her neck was bent so far back that the resting position of her head was on her back. If her eyes weren’t on the sides of her head she wouldn’t have been able to see over her own chest. Not all fantail doves look like this, but this one was so extreme looking that they had a little sign on the aviary reassuring people she was alright. I just wondered where exactly this commenter imagined she would belong if all the birds in the aviary were released into the wild and somehow back into their ideal habitats. There’s nowhere in the world outside of in the care of humans where a bird looking like that would be remotely ok.
#i'm going to start saying 'oh how sad#it should be FREE :( ' when i see a dog#honestly i miss this sweet dove so much#you may wonder what her quality of life was like and tbh all signs pointed to 'fine'#pigeon fanciers and breeders of some poultry like the chickens with vestigial wings on their feet and those weird long tall ducks#get less scrutiny than dog breeders re health problems but also we are all just used to regularly encountering dogs that are genetic messes#with a bird it's a bit of a shock at first#but it's worth also remembering that the farm animals we eat are also genetic freaks#my only point really is that people are very very weird about birds in captivity of any kind#even a rescue aviary- they have 2 incidents in the past 20 years of people realeasing all the birds and then guess what they died#because most are tropical species and need the heater#they are as happy as possible in that aviary i think#many common cagebird species are flock birds and in this aviary they have their flock and social interaction#it's big enough for flying and they have loads of enrichment and can make as much noise as they want as it's in a big park#in a perfect world no one would breed genetic freak animals and there wouldn't be tonens of uncared for cagebirds that need homes#but we don't live in that world#forgot to say that the reason i say the dove's quality of life was probably fine was because of her behaviour and feather condition
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i am also remembering my aizen au where that og persona of his was legit and he doesnt betray soul society
#bleachposting#that was another thing that i didnt flesh out super well but it was a space i really enjoyed dicking around in#mostly bc it just made me laugh comparing him to canon aizen lmao#like i think it was like. i was still trying to figure out how the vizard incident wouldve happened.#if he wasnt legitimately trying to use the hogyoku to fuck with people like that. like he really was trying to be on the up-and-up with it#most of my focus was on how his treatment of the arrancar would be different#most notably his relationship with starrk where its like#he comes across starrk and lilynette and promises to help them find friends like them. except taken more seriously i guess? and not just as#a manipulation lmfao#like i guess he could still be kicked out of soul society for wanting to help them? idk#its an au that would change a LOT of shit around and its messy to sort it all out#esp with how many different ways it could go#but i enjoy it nontheless#i have some old art about it i wonder if i can find it on my blog still
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🦋
#LMAO remember when i posted that article about how anarchist work had been done at an oil site in canada#&i had ppl jumping down my fucking throat about 'it was fake it was the government!!!! youre promoting bad things >:('#&i said it was a disservice to anyone who does that kind of work to immediately attribute to the gov w/o actual reason#aside from 'theyve done it before! watch! bad things are coming!'#&then a legend in the fucking community came forward&said literally exactly what the fuck i was saying.#&then the gov DIDNT use the incident as an excuse to crack down or funnel money into the project or literally ANYTHING#that would make sense to follow a fake incident like that?#i wonder how many of the ppl that were SO SURE no one would do the kind of work necessary to damage millions worth of equiptment#are currently running aroung screaming:#'i dont WANT to vote for biden but WHAT CHOICE IS THERE???? IS THE REVOLUTION HAPPENING TOMORROW??? I DONT THINK SO.'#of course the revolution aint fucking happening around you LMAO youre a pussy at best&a snitch at worse you fucking loser.
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at the tags on prev post before anyone gets mad at me about being opposed to automation or some shit: i am referencing situations where the "automation" doesnt do shit except to make the human's job needlessly harder, something which was in the process of happening at my old job which was fascinatingly stupid to watch, especially cos in other buildings of the same company they DID employ automation that actually removed steps and made peoples jobs easier etc. automation is fine as long as it makes fucking SENSE. if all youre doing is adding a touch screen to it, youre not automating shit youre just introducing more ways for that entire job to get borked
#toy txt post#very funny considering how many times the system would just get super bogged down while they were fucking with the robots to like integrat#e them with our systems and youd be like Huh It Sure Is Extra Slow And Fucked Whenever You Poke Those Damn Things!#Wonder If Thats Related! and theyd be like nooooooooo of course its not!!!!!!! of course not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then theyd like turn em#off and reset everything over the weekend and it would be fine after that#anyway. Glad Im Out Of There#stop trying to optimize the number of steps taken per pick or some shit and invest in a bot that can move the pallets of empty bins#so ppl can keep doing their fucking jobs instead of dealing w that maybe#hire a single guy to hang out in the aisle and have their whole job be removing empty bins and boxes#compiling bins and boxes and opening new bins and boxes for the entire shift and its a better use of your dumbass money#to optimize the ppl who are picking. might even be safer too cos then u only have 1 or 2 guys who has to regularly use a box cutter instead#of everyone and a lot easier to enforce ppe with boxcutter usagecos you dont have to have eyes on everyone so thats less likely to have a#boxcutter injury incident etc#but whatever. that guy isnt doing enough work. we have to trim the fat. and buy useless roombas that do fuck all#with the fat we trimmed.
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Nightwing gets a sidekick introducing: "Batboy"
Continuation of this post: "Danny has Bat wings"
|Next|
Dick tries to tell himself that he's better then Bruce. He's not going around taking young orphaned boys with unique abilities willy-nilly. No, he very careful. Besides this is first- well second sidekick.
He's doing a public service anyways. You can't have a kid with giant bat wings just falling from buildings. If Nightwing hadn't stepped in to stop those goons trying to catch the kid and sell him then who knows what would have happened. What if they tried to cut off his wings and turn the boy into a bloody trophy for the Bats?
There are many villains in Bludhaven who'd take the boy out or take him in. Dick already had a sinking feeling that Heartless would try his hand at killing the kid after all he targets the weak and helpless like a coward.
It was easy enough to convince the boy to be his friend. Dick did have natural charm and charisma after all. All it took was a meal from batburger and a fruit cup to get the kid to open up.
Danny (apparently his family gave him a normal name) didn't live with his family anymore due to ideological differences. That difference was that they thought he shouldn't exist anymore and wanted to turn him into an experiment. Poor kid didn't even get to finish his freshman year of school before he had to leave. He was a small town vigilante for a few months before the incident.
Dick saw an opportunity but was subtle about it. He invited the kid to live with him until he got his education. Its also totally ethical because the kid was a vigilante already.
Everything kind of went by quickly. Dick had done everything possible to hide Danny until he could come up with a plan of how to tell everyone.
True Dick didn't "need" a sidekick but come on, look at him! He's a boy with bat wings! Dick could put a little cowl on him and dress him up like Batman. I mean he's not a dog but it would be funny. The irony there, the bird-themed hero now had a bat-themed sidekick. That is the universe's way of sending a message.
After training Danny Dick learned that the kid had an endless supply of energy and ADHD that rivaled his own at that age. The kid also couldn't fly, it was actually closer to gliding which was still useful but he kind of looked like a flying squirrel when he jumped off ledges.
The term issue with taking Danny in was that Dick was still a Wayne and while he could hide the kid while he was swinging through Bludhaven, Dick Grayson could not.
Danny could hide his wings like they weren't even there whenever he wanted to look human. Which was a start, next he needed a new identity. One that wouldn't tip anyone off.
Dick needed to pull some strings without alerting Barbara or Tim. A new name was forged: "Daniel Nightingale" (Dick patted himself on the back for that one).
With that Dick was ready to let Danny out in the field. For the most part, Danny was as reliable as any Robin if not a bit crazy. Danny was way too charming for his own good but also completely feral. The public adored the domino-masked kid in his green and black costume. Danny didn't wear a cape because of his wings so he used them as a cloak.
When citizens saw them in public they'd offer the kid fruit cups and candies just to get close enough to see his wings. The people of Bludhaven were also excited to have their own version of Robin since Gotham had so many. Also, the kid was so marketable. Look at the way his wings flapped when he was excited.
Danny's or more specifically "Batboy's" presence would not go unnoticed.
Well, this can't end well.
Welp. Dick should have expected this. He couldn't even be upset. He doesn't regret anything that he's done.
Danny was still in bed, actually it was a hammock which was more comfortable for a bat. Dick wondered if he could sleep upside down. The kid was comfortable here and probably better off here than in Gotham. Once the adoption goes public however things will get complicated. Danny may end up Bludhaven's sweetheart or outcast. He'll probably end up fine...probably.
#dc x dp prompt#dpxdc#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp#danny fenton#dick grayson#nightwing#danny phantom#barbara gordon#damian wayne#batman
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Gendered pronouns in Japanese vs English
In Revolutionary Girl Utena, the main character Utena is a girl (it says so in the title), but very conspicuously uses the masculine first person pronoun 僕 (boku) and dresses in (a variation of) the boys school uniform. Utena's gender, and gender in general, is a core theme of the work. And yet, I haven’t seen a single translation or analysis post where anyone considers using anything other than she/her for Utena when speaking of her in English. This made me wonder: how does one’s choice of pronouns in Japanese correspond to what one’s preferred pronouns would be in English?
There are 3 main differences between gendered pronouns in Japanese vs English
Japanese pronouns are used to refer to yourself (first-person), while English pronouns are used to refer to others (third-person)
The Japanese pronoun you use will differ based on context
Japanese pronouns signify more than just gender
Let’s look at each of these differences in turn and how these differences might lead to a seeming incongruity between one’s Japanese pronoun choice and one’s English pronoun choice (such as the 僕 (boku) vs she/her discrepancy with Utena).
Part 1: First-person vs third-person
While Japanese does technically have gendered third person pronouns (彼、彼女) they are used infrequently¹ and have much less cultural importance placed on them than English third person pronouns. Therefore, I would argue that the cultural equivalent of the gender-signifying third-person pronoun in English is the Japanese first-person pronoun. Much like English “pronouns in bio”, Japanese first-person pronoun choice is considered an expression of identity.
Japanese pronouns are used exclusively to refer to yourself, and therefore a speaker can change the pronoun they’re using for themself on a whim, sometimes mid-conversation, without it being much of an incident. Meanwhile in English, Marquis Bey argues that “Pronouns are like tiny vessels of verification that others are picking up what you are putting down” (2021). By having others use them and externally verify the internal truth of one’s gender, English pronouns, I believe, are seen as more truthful, less frivolous, than Japanese pronouns. They are seen as signifying an objective truth of the referent’s gender; if not objective then at least socially agreed-upon, while Japanese pronouns only signify how the subject feels at this particular moment — purely subjective.
Part 2: Context dependent pronoun use
Japanese speakers often don’t use just one pronoun. As you can see in the below chart, a young man using 俺 (ore) among friends might use 私 (watashi) or 自分 (jibun) when speaking to a teacher. This complicates the idea that these pronouns are gendered, because their gendering depends heavily on context. A man using 私 (watashi) to a teacher is gender-conforming, a man using 私 (watashi) while drinking with friends is gender-non-conforming. Again, this reinforces the relative instability of Japanese pronoun choice, and distances it from gender.
Part 3: Signifying more than gender
English pronouns signify little besides the gender of the antecedent. Because of this, pronouns in English have come to be a shorthand for expressing one’s own gender experience - they reflect an internal gendered truth. However, Japanese pronoun choice doesn’t reflect an “internal truth” of gender. It can signify multiple aspects of your self - gender, sexuality, personality.
For example, 僕 (boku) is used by gay men to communicate that they are bottoms, contrasted with the use of 俺 (ore) by tops. 僕 (boku) may also be used by softer, academic men and boys (in casual contexts - note that many men use 僕 (boku) in more formal contexts) as a personality signifier - maybe to communicate something as simplistic as “I’m not the kind of guy who’s into sports.” 俺 (ore) could be used by a butch lesbian who still strongly identifies as a woman, in order to signify sexuality and an assertive personality. 私 (watashi) may be used by people of all genders to convey professionalism. The list goes on.
I believe this is what’s happening with Utena - she is signifying her rebellion against traditional feminine gender roles with her use of 僕 (boku), but as part of this rebellion, she necessarily must still be a girl. Rather than saying “girls don’t use boku, so I’m not a girl”, her pronoun choice is saying “your conception of femininity is bullshit, girls can use boku too”.
Through translation, gendered assumptions need to be made, sometimes about real people. Remember that he/they, she/her, they/them are purely English linguistic constructs, and don’t correspond directly to one’s gender, just as they don’t correspond directly to the Japanese pronouns one might use. Imagine a scenario where you are translating a news story about a Japanese genderqueer person. The most ethical way to determine what pronouns they would prefer would be to get in contact with them and ask them, right? But what if they don’t speak English? Are you going to have to teach them English, and the nuances of English pronoun choice, before you can translate the piece? That would be ridiculous! It’s simply not a viable option². So you must make a gendered assumption based on all the factors - their Japanese pronoun use (context dependent!), their clothing, the way they present their body, their speech patterns, etc.
If translation is about rewriting the text as if it were originally in the target language, you must also rewrite the gender of those people and characters in the translation. The question you must ask yourself is: How does their gender presentation, which has been tailored to a Japanese-language understanding of gender, correspond to an equivalent English-language understanding of gender? This is an incredibly fraught decision, but nonetheless a necessary one. It’s an unsatisfying dilemma, and one that poignantly exposes the fickle, unstable, culture-dependent nature of gender.
Notes and References
¹ Usually in Japanese, speakers use the person’s name directly to address someone in second or third person
² And has colonialist undertones as a solution if you ask me - “You need to pick English pronouns! You ought to understand your gender through our language!”
Bey, Marquis— 2021 Re: [No Subject]—On Nonbinary Gender
Rose divider taken from this post
#langblr#japanese#japanese language#language#language learning#linguistics#learning japanese#utena#revolutionary girl utena#shojo kakumei utena#rgu#sku#gender#transgender#nonbinary#trans#official blog post#translation#media analysis
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Batman the Playboy
Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.
The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, (or hit with some kind of drug while out saving the world) and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.
Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-��
Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”
Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”
Green Arrow: (offended noises)
Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”
Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”
However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)
So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”
Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”
Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”
———
Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.
GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”
Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”
Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”
Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”
GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”
Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.
Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”
Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”
Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”
Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”
Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”
Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻♂���
“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”
Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!
The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.
And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.
(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)
Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.
#a few months later GL brings it up#like ‘ha ha remember funny joke’#batman: ‘…joke?’#justice league#😳#yes joke#autistic batman#batman#brucie wayne#justice leauge shennanigans#batman the playboy
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Hello! I was wondering if you could do the Dormleaders' reactions to Yuu who, given that they're from another world, is immune to any and all magic spells.
Example: Riddle's 'Off With Your Head' doesn't make a collar on their neck, 'King's Roar' doesn't affect them at all, 'It's A Deal' doesn't take anything from Yuu and acts like any ordinary contract, etc.
However, this means any healing spells has no effect, forcing Yuu to heal on their own.
Thank you for reading this!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ magic immune reader
type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
out of all the dorm leaders, Riddle would be the most annoyed
...not that 'Off With Your Head' would've done much, anyway
you have no magic to take away
but... it's the meaning!
it's symbolic!
even a plain old collar would be punishment enough
but he can't even do that!
hopefully, you're not the type to misbehave, so he won't have to worry about it
if you are...
...expect to spend a lot of your week trimming the hedges around Heartslabyul as punishment
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona doesn't even know until his overblot
...well...
until after his overblot
everyone keeps going on about how lucky you are
(personally, he doesn't see what's so great about being magic-repellent, but sure)
he's... glad you're okay
not that he'd ever admit that...
just don't let it get to your head, alright?
being immune to magic means both bad and good spells
and he's not going to be sanding you again anytime soon
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Azul is PISSSSSED lmao
all that work he's put into his latest business venture
and for what??
you're not even BOUND by his contracts!
he has a hard time saying goodbye to Ramshackle...
what a nice cafe it would have made...
but, still
there's got to be some way he can use this to his advantage
he's an adaptable man
and he's always looking for a new assistant
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Kalim is only a little disappointed
first, you can't even cast a spell
now you can't have any cast on you?
you're missing out on all his great party tricks!!!
but... oh, well
he thinks of it as an adventure, or a fun challenge
magicless parties sound kinda cool, right?
and Jamil says it's probably for the better, and Kalim trusts his judgment
(...for now, at least, cough cough)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
not counting the... VDC incident, Vil doesn't care
unlike your annoying friends, he has no reason to curse you
and he can certainly think of many magicless punishments should you ever misbehave
so, no
not really something that crosses his mind
even when you're unwell (because, of course, he's the first to tend to you), he prefers using natural remedies before magical ones
to him, it's just another piece of the strange puzzle that is you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
honestly what is Idia going to do
open the gates of hell on you?
nah
even boring spells would be too much effort for a guy like him
he does find you kinda interesting, though
I mean, being immune to magic in this place is a total buff!
imagine a group of NPCs firing magic at you, and you're like, wham! whew! zoooom!
...in his own words, anyway
(it's not actually that cool)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Malleus...
where do I even start?
he's so reliant using magic that he can almost sense there's something different about you right away
one on hand, it's a good thing
he worries about you, you know? the students at this school can get... unruly
on the other hand, knowing that you won't respond to magical healing is... worrying
he tries not to think about it so much
his overblot is a different story, though
if he can't put you to sleep, what can he do? trap you at NRC with him forever?
actually... I take it back, he'd totally do that
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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Bloody Red Roses
Yandere!Evil King x GN!Reader
CW: kidnapping, weirdo behavior, pretty mellow for now
👑 It was known throughout the land that King Alistair of the Obsidian Kingdom was a terrifying and cruel ruler. His heart held no mercy for those who opposed him.
👑 His dark magic was one to be feared, many know better than to ever go against him and his undead soldiers.
👑 Recently, he’s set his sights on your kingdom. He was planning on overthrowing a few lands and expanding his territory, and with your kingdom’s promising resources and location, he saw it as the perfect prize.
👑 But he isn’t a war mongering psychopath who declares war right then and there, no no he’s much more sophisticated than that, he’s going to kidnap the princess instead!
👑 He needed a bride anyway, so for him it’s a win/win!
👑 “Sir! We got her! We got the princess!” The door opening and the rattling of bones got Alistair’s attention. He sent a few of his skeleton soldiers to capture the princess whilst on a carriage ride through the borders of his territory.
👑 There were many guards protecting the area, but their weapons were no match for enemies who couldn’t die, and with a little bit of sleeping potion, carrying the princess away will be easy as pie.
👑 “Excellent~ and you brought her to my chambers like I told you correct?”
👑 They nod and scamper alongside the king to meet the princess
👑 “Oh princess~ are you awake ye- !!” His eyes widen and he cuts himself off. The person unconscious and tied up in his bed was indeed a royal, but the princess they were not.
👑 “What. Is. This?” He growls, the soldier’s bones rattle in fear
👑 “W-well you sai-“ “Does this look like a princess to you?! How am I going to take over their stupid kingdom if don’t have a bride!?” He scowls angrily.
👑 He hears you tossing and turning in your sleep, you let out a soft little squeak as you reposition yourself to be hugging one of his pillows.
👑 “…”
👑 “Uhm…your highness..?”
👑 “Leave. I’m done with your stupidity..I’ll deal with them myself..”
👑 The soldiers waste no time running off to who knows where as Alistair looks at you with cold eyes.
👑 “Hm…”
👑 He takes a seat by the bed, watching you as he figures out what to do with you.
👑 He’s trying to figure out a strategy, but he keeps getting distracted by your form. You looked so small and delicate, maybe he could…no that’s stupid he could never..could he?
👑 His thoughts plague him a awhile longer until he notices you waking up.
👑 Your muscles are weak, your head feels like it’s spinning, and it takes a bit for you to get back to your senses and realize what happened.
👑 You jolt awake, remember of the attack and almost scream at the sight of Alistair, but he was quick to covers your mouth and try to ease your panic. It took a while, but he managed to get you to stop fussing so he could take off your binds.
👑 “Apologies for this little..incident, I was supposed to take your sister..but now that you know my plan for your little kingdom, I have no choice but to keep you here. Perhaps I don’t need a princess to marry after all, I could just use you as ransom..” he chuckles.
👑 He sees the tea in your cup rippling in your shakes hold and scoffs, bringing his hand to hold your wrist to still your trembling “Oh don’t be so scared now, I don’t bite..”
👑 It was just supposed to be a means to make you stop shaking, but your skin…your big pitiful eyes staring up at him..he didn’t want to let go.
👑 So he kept you, for ransom of course, not for anything else..
👑 With you at his disposal, he started preparing negotiations with your kingdom to see what they’ll do to get you back.
👑 But in the mean time, he had to deal with you somehow..
👑 He settled on just letting you wander around the castle (with supervision of course)
👑 But then he starts to wonder what you do everyday, what did you even like to do? If you were staying with him, he might as well talk with you for the time being.
👑 It started off sort of awkward, he spotted you by the garden feeding some birds with two soldiers watching you. He approached and waved at the soldiers to leave them alone together. You thought you were in trouble but to your surprise, he just asked you how you were doing..
👑 “I uhm..heard you like going out here everyday..I figured I’d join you…Don’t take it the wrong way, I just had some..free time..that’s all..”
👑 The whole interaction was unusual. It wasn’t like him to be so casual and calm with someone, especially a royal of another kingdom.
👑 He enjoys the reactions you give him whenever he talks about his role as the dark king of the Obsidian Kingdom. Your nervous but polite smile masks your mortification of him, but it’s adorable to him nonetheless
👑 “What? A scared of the big bad king? How cute.”
👑 Your little talks slowly became frequent, for the king, it even became something he couldn’t help but do. What can he say? He was so used to your presence it seemed wrong to not talk to you at least once..plus he had to check to see if you weren’t planning an escape so..
👑 “Where have you been my little rose? I haven’t seen you all day.”
👑 His interest in your interactions turned to fondness the more he picked up on your cute little quirks. He takes note of the things you find funny or interesting, he brings them up in order to see that adorable little smile of yours, and that giggle, oh god that giggle…
👑 He denies it so much at first, but slowly starts to accept the fact that he wants- no, needs you with him
👑 Soon he started to want your presence even more, offering to eat meals alongside you instead of eating whenever he’s schedule allowed it, he started eating scheduled meals for you <3 we love self care guys
👑 “Of course I’m eating with you tonight. After all we never got to finish our conversation.”
👑 He loves watching you, even when simply eating or any mundane thing, you will more often than not catch him staring at you. You’re just so cute and soft! Definitely not like the snobby and overly stiff men and women he’s seen.
👑 He couldn’t have you trying to escape so what better plan than to keep you by his side 24/7? Then you’ll never be out of his sight!
👑 “What’s so wrong with letting you tag along my dear? I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself with me.”
👑 And what if you try and sneak out from your chambers? Clearly you need to be moved to his chambers, that way he can make sure you’re behaving.
👑 Oh and of course in case you get lost, he made you a cute collar with the royal insignia on it! Isn’t it pretty? He used your favorite colors and everything!
👑 Of course he needs to fulfill his kingly duties. But how can he leave you alone for that long? No worries, you can sit right on his lap! That way you won’t have to stand for a long time and hurt your feet.
👑 And those clothes? So simple and out of style, perhaps you should wear something more fitting to his kingdom’s styles? Like a cute outfit with lace and ruffles! You look so delicate and graceful in it! He can’t help but buy you lots more outfits like that! Tis only fair for a person of your status.
👑 “How about this one? It compliments your form…what do you mean it looks too cutesy? I think it looks perfect for you.”
👑 he’s the type to not do much physical affection, but dear god does he crave both giving and receiving it. Give him a kiss or a caress of his cheek and he struggles to keep his composure and not melt to your touch
👑 Simply put, he might not seem like it (at least he thinks he does) but he can’t live without you. He couldn’t fathom the fact he was planning on trading you for a kingdom, you’re way more valuable than some puny kingdom!
👑 He even considers his original plan, you wouldn’t mind right? Besides, he bets you look absolutely exquisite in a little wedding dress~! Even if you don’t want a dress, an elegant suit would perfect on you~!
👑 “Where do you think you’re going my rose?”
It’s finally here guys ✨✨✨ I know it’s been a while but I’ve been busy with school and genshin. Anyway we got em in the end! Thank you for being so patient guys !! qwq
#yandere#yandere x gn reader#male yandere#yandere oc#oc yandere#yandere male#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#tw yandere#x reader#x gn reader#gn reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#king x reader#yandere king#evil king#opossumdoodles
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