#woke up again and my only thought is why
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My brain is lowkey my biggest hater, if it had a twitter it would sent me death threats and graphic images 24/7
But it doesn't, so it just projects them onto my skull instead
#woke up again and my only thought is why#it's friday but i genuinely can't get myself to get up#im tired af#slept at like 330 yesterday because my mom had to make me talk eventhough i told her it would only upset the both of us#and guess what#it upset the both of us
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Thinking about Krok and his og squad again...
#mostly thinking about radar....#listened to mitski's ''a pearl'' one too many times while zoing out. and yeah... that goddamn finger man.....#(my scav inspired playlist is incomprehensible at this point. rip)#but like. thinking about all that led to another odd thought nugget about krok. his og squad. and the scavs#i think ive rambled about the concept of krok projecting his old squad onto the scavs before a bit. but i didnt think too deeply about it#but considering comparisons. and squad ''roles''. it struck me that radar was most likely the ''tech'' guy. krok's tech guy#and radar was possibly (or at least implied to be) who krok was closest too. (outside of his pet ofc :(...)#so that role. that space. that empty space. is important to him. greatly so#and until they found fulcrum. no one exactly fit that space. fit that role. krok was still searching for his squad#but now fulcrum is there. filling that empty meaningful space. playing that role. but its not the same. its too different#smth smth. another idea as to why krok holds a particular grudge with fulcrum for no obvious reason#because he wants radar back. but hes gone. and fulcrums there now. but hes not radar. kroks still mourning. and fulcrum just isnt radar#not that hes actively choosing to project radar onto fulcrum. but subconsciously hes trying to fill that space. and its not the same#hence the bitterness. a sorta uncertain discomfort about fulcrums presence and attempts at getting closer that disturbs the hole radar left#maybe im thinking too hars about these teeny tiny details. but theres so much underlying themes of grief in mtmte. esp with the LL crew#so?? like?? idk. it makes sense that itd be there with the scavs too?? or smth like it??#its probably way super obvious ive frequently thought too hard about the scavs and their grief by now#and not just like. grief in only the mourning death sense. but just loss in general. loss of purpose. loss of meaning. loss of stability#the way in which decepticon are made up of ''rejects''. but the scavs are the rejects of the rejects...#i could go on about how they each prob experienced alienation from their own. but i need to go back to sleep lol#the sleepiness has finally returned since i woke up a bit ago. so. not wasting the opportunity#but rq. thankss insomnia for making me associate krok with mitski songs again. thats very joyful and happy. ill sleep tear free.. totally...#also also. the posts and art and sthffs aboht radar and krok back whenever... so glad radar is fine and safe and happy and alive🥲👍#ok. jokes done. goodnight and goodmorning. bcs its like. 7am... oof
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HI I JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO, ALSO I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND ART. YOU ARE SO GOOD AT IT LIKE ITS CRAZY. ANYWAYS HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY!!! GETS DRAGGED OFF STAGE BY GNOMES
hello hello!!!!! thank you so much ahrjfkdbsk 🥺🥺 im glad you're enjoying the stuff i make 💛!!
and i certainly will have a good day- this was a very lovely message to wake up to :]]!!! i hope you're having a good day too!
#please dont get eaten by gnomes#i dont know why my first thought was that the gnomes would eat u but ig thats where im at this morning idk i just woke up#velwy.txt#rabid-and-wild#inbox#its always nice to know people like my stuff#i was drawing out the Very Silly comic yesterday and was like. damn. what if this is only funny to me specifically#which happens a lot and its nice to be proven wrong shfkgnkengkrb#wheeee i fell sleep again and pokenipnaagin lma
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#mdzs#mdzs fanart#lan sizhui#a yuan#wen yuan#today I decided to practice drawing children and my sketches accidentally turned into this#and I thought why not share it with people#in my hc lsz chose the only black bunny as his favorite when he first came to cloud recesses#when he told it to lz#lz stood silent for half a minute before saying that it was his favorite too.#he probably wouldn't be allowed to wear a red ribbon but I still left it in#because i like the idea of him wearing his sect's (and dad's) color#he gets a new red one the moment he learns he's a Wen. in my hc#in the third drawing I have him wearing almost the same clothes I draw young lz in#I think it'd be really cute if at some point lsz copied lz#(I want him copying wwx too! gods I must draw him in black and red at some point it would be *so cute*)#there are no other colors cuz I actually suck at drawing in color. and it was supposed to be a quick sketch before I focus on studying#i skipped a lesson today and my teacher called me to ask what the hell while I was drawing#i told her I just woke up (lie. i woke up at 6 again)#I don't think she appreciated my response. if there's never another post. know that i was brutally (tho justly) murdered#anyway#my art
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ugh like. WHATEVERRRRRRRRR
#MAN. ellipsis x100000 🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️#the dream thieves (2013) book of ALL TIME btw. if u even care.#r.txt#went through almost the entire book without posting abt it ONCE 👍 my self-restraint knows no bounds 💪#trc#pynch#this whole part of the chapter is soooooooooooo like it's so it's literally soooooo... i can't even speak on it. it's only you. why do you#hate you. ronan thought about it. i don't he said. and he woke up. BROOOOOOOO#but anyway. SOMETHING INSIDE OF RONAN UNWOUND AND HE ALMOST SAID SOMETHING ✋🥴 PLEASEEEEEEEE#ronan's second secret was adam parrish next but i'm not gonna read to that part 2day bc i'm literally gonna explode if i do. ARGH.#already i wanna reread but also i want to get to bllb bc i LOVE bllb but also i want to reread the dream thieves again..i hate u dilemmas..#actually need 2 be reading a book for exams LOL but the author's pissing me off w/ certain descriptions & also i want to be reading trc so#like. whatever idec i'm ignoring the book until at least the day after tomorrow peace n love ❤🙏❤#literally actually genuinely gonna reread the dream thieves again right after i finish it i think. as one does <333
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me waking up on a day where i have a dr's/medical appointment of any kind and remembering that i do indeed have a medical appointment i have to go to

#nathalie patron saint of chronic pain and eternal bed-rest. grant me strength on this terrible day#this one might be kind of ok MAYBE its just a pre-op....consultation? is that the right word?#a pre-op...discussion(?)...appt before i have my 1st exploratory endometriosis surgery at the end of the month#last time i had surgery and i think the only other time i was like 4 and had no idea what was going on#and was out of it anyways cus i had severe blood poisoning from a weird freak infection hense the surgery#and folks it Did Not Go Well nobody communicated what was happening with me directly before they put me under bcus i was A Small Child#and it was like The Year 2000 or 2001 and i was Undiagnosed Autistic and fully did not understand they were giving me 'sleep' gas#medicine so i freaked out and then when i woke up i continued to freak out cus i thought no time had passed and i ran out of the room into#the waiting area where my moms were still like 80% delirious and was so scared and overstimulated#that all i could do was sob in my moms' arms and then. i bit?? one of my moms?? in loke the arm or something?#for some reason? i dont know why i did that. anyways then i passed out again and woke up in the family car and my moms were like#ITS OK YOURE SAFE YOURE GOOD like IMMEDIATELY so i did not try to like. Leave The Car or something#so. anyways. as u can surely tell. im rly looking forward to Getting Surgery Again. with that as my baseline experience. lmfao 😭
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worst thing about being disabled is that now I am fully and completely aware of exactly how much I am worth to everyone I know. And it is not a lot!!
#like. it gets to me. A lot of the time it’s ohhh your life is priceless and. Well. Okay I did just see you put a price on it though.#like. It’s not always blatant but the laziness comments get to me. The stupid comments get to me. The money comments also get to me.#Either all life is precious or I am a drain on society. you cannot have both.#Why is my life worth less than twenty dollars. Better yet why are YOU gambling with MY life. wear your FUCKING masks.#like I’m usually fine bc I simply do not have the capacity for any more shit. I am existing in less dimensions than most ppl and Not Aware#And then when I am better I experience two entire years of Concentrated Cosmic Horror before I fold back down into being two dimensional#Cosmic horror? Eldritch horror? I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW. what I do know is that I straight up Do Not believe in the soul anymore bc of this!#like I’m horrified!! It is literally horrifying. If I still had all of me I could write some deeply fucked up metaphor but rn what I’ve got#Is like. okay so I’m supposed to be like. A galaxy on the inside folded into a person shape. Right#there’s stuff happening in there. three to five trains of thought at once etc. etc. and that is not what I have anymore. what I have now is#like. One planet and a white dwarf. not even a neutron star. And everything else went out so gradually that I didn’t really notice but#I woke up one morning and it’s not there and then I got into the habit of not looking up bc that’s a lot of work and I have to keep paintin#galaxies on the ash of this stupid little planet. And then I experience random bandaid treatment and Have The Knowledge again and.#I get to experience Plato’s allegory of the cave in REAL TIME and involuntarily!!#It really does suck that the only time I am able to comprehend the magnitude of my loss is when I’m not experiencing it!! bad times!!#I’m tired of being agreeable. Wear masks. Petition for air purifiers in public spaces. Or I start biting for real#if you notice I’m dealing with long covid a. BADLY. you’re right!! Gold fucking star! I challenge ANYONE to deal with The Bullshit actually#I’m not going to let myself be martyred for the fucking. Economy. Bull FUCKING shit.
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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anyways i am feeling kinda brave today so im gonna share a potentially unpopular taylor swift hot take. when i was talking to my friend yesterday about ttpd i realised that i kinda have a similar problem with the anthology as i do with evermore.
like don't get me wrong, both have absolute gems (willow, tolerate it, long story short, gold rush and NBNC from evermore are great and i love the albatross, so high school, the prophecy black dog, manuscript etc) but i think both collections (bc anthology is not an album) suffer because they came out connected to a much superior more cohesive work, and both almost feel like rejects from the body of work that proceeded it.
#actually like i said to my beloved mutual “thanK you aIMee” kinda feels like she woke up one day and went “fuck you kim actually”#which i can kinda relate to in a way bc the amount of times i randomly go “fuck you”#but my mutual said if there were more songs about being screwed over by people that could be a storyline. but theres not. its just there#like its a great song but also i kinda went “we are covering this ground again”#if there were new developments in the relationship i could kinda understand it#like how she wrote innocent and then backtracked that with rep bc things happened#but idk the anthology just feels like scraps she deemed good enough for release but in my opinion needed editing#the stupid ass 1830s lyric highlights this bc i get what shes trying to say but she worded it so badly#that i kinda see why its being clowned on#also imgonnagetyouback... yehahahahah liv did it better. now it feels like a done concept. im shocked she included it#she knew it was coming come on#anyways the anthology while good kinda felt unfinished#she should have given it a few more months and polished it#bc holy hell at least folkmore felt polished#even though evermore is cohesively weaker#my friend who is a folkmore swiftie kinda also feels like this fyi so dont come at me screaming “burn 1989 rep midnights stan!”#burn me idc#and while im at it both are in my bottom three only right above debut#tldr: both collections are tied to another work thats just so much better and cohesive#this is just me saying i cant get into anthology hahaha#and i felt weird bc everyone liked it but when my friend a literal folklore girl said “no im not feeling it” i felt better#bc so many people were saying it was better and those swifties were going 'all of us' and i kinda went... no i prefer standard#i love taylor sm and i love og ttpd its currently no 5 but the anthology has issues and one of them is similar to why i rank evermore lowl#i just went off on a tangent about the issues with the anthology and its songwriting and lack of narrative#i will say so i win you all over i loved the evermore set at eras i thought it was so beautifully done#taylor swift#ttpd: anthology#evermore
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this is some lame ass linguistics major shit but considering how much i've had hammered in that language shapes your worldview (and i agree) i think why i've always felt personally Weird about english pronouns (and any gendered pronoun language but english particularly because obviously that's what I've had to use the most) is because both my native languages have gender neutral pronouns and i hate the thought of having to Pick One and have that define me, it doesn't feel natural (to me! in specific relation to me as a person!)
and i think when i was younger, like a teen, i was just frustrated with the idea of gendered pronouns in general, now i definitely understand why they're important for a lot of people and just like. the difference in culture and how you can't just Do Away With Them especially if you live in a place where gendered language is the norm and why it's important for identity to have people address you in a certain way. and in general you should just always respect peoples wishes Obviously
but i think that's why i genuinely feel like i just wanna be an Any Pronouns kinda person i think my brain just genuinely doesn't comprehend myself like that and i really don't care about it. like which one you use for me doesn't really matter because it is just A Pronoun to me because there is just one in both my native languages and so i don't really think myself of like that. does this make sense. like i really don't care if you use exclusively she/her or he/him or they/them or change them or literally whatever. its cool
#reiterating this is completely a me thing AGAIN I GET THE IMPORTANCE.. its just that thats why for me im like#ive never been able to feel comfortable abt it and i think i only in recent years realized why lol#i was like. i want to be an any pronouns person i do not want to be a she/her because that feels WEIRD but i dont really know about my--#--gender so is it really that important. well i still dont know but anyway i at least know why i feel such an indifference or#why i feel so strongly about the indifference. which is contradictory but You Get It#tess talks#the disease on my brain that is the finno-permic languages#i woke up at 5 this is my thought dump for the morning. amen
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#fuck man all i did was clear off a 3x4 foot planter and sow some beans and i got 4 mosquito bites#i hate that they love my delicious blood#im so allergic to them my whole body is in pain and itching now#bites on 3 of my limbs#i knew i shouldve pulled out legging and a long sleeve but like... the planter is in the open air not the shade or by water#i hate this so much and now i gotta take benadryl and spend the rest of the day indoors#i hate mosquitos man theyve tormented me my whole life - when i was a kid i thought i fucking died bc i got bit on both my eyes#i couldnt see anything when i woke up it was horrifying#my allergy has only gotten worse. i can only hope they didnt inject too much saliva#last time i felt like i had a cold i was in bed and feverish the whole time#wrong time to be planting anything when its overcast today#the hot sun usually keeps them away from me when im on the deck#just ughhhhhh i hate this i just wanted to garden again but with my back and now my allergy like why do i bother#delete later / /#vent / /#personal / /#i planted 12 each of like 5 different beans which is probably overkill but i know seeds dont last long in our yard#the bird pull out the sprouts bc they look like worms or the rabbits bite down the leaves#the planter has chicken wire under it but the holes are big enough for s gopher to fit thru which was annoying to find out#and the seeds themselves often get eaten when theyre hard type seeds (not necessarily beans but in general) by bugs#its rough but ive succeeded with the orca beans in the past so hopefully at least those will grow again#i gotta go take that benedryl and get something to eat. there goes my whole day being drowsy lmao
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just woke up from a nightmare it switched genres so to speak started with smth about some dead people still around but only in special circumstances and they help fight this thing or w/e
then switched to my mum sick and frail and me force feeding her for her health I didn't see me doing that but I know that's what went down in my dream
#personal#I woke myself up I think in her last days she wasn't eating wasn't drinking we debating committing her but didn't even visit facilities#if only so they could feed her better in fact it's one of my guilt and regrets the feeling that my ability to feed her better to make smth#that she could eat to take care of her that killed her fuck I thought the therapy helped wjbt the guilt why am I dreaming this and crying#about it now? it's cruel to come up months later again#dream journal
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You wake up from a nap that went on a little too long, only to see that Toji still isn't next to you in bed. It's dark already, and when you check the time on your phone, the screen reads 10:14. You see light underneath the bedroom door and get up, dragging the blanket along with you. When you open the door, there Toji is, sitting on the couch, watching TV with his hand in a bag of chips. You peek at him from the hallway entryway and watch as he puts another chip in his mouth.
"Hi," Toji says, not the slightest bit oblivious to your eyes on him. His gaze shifts to you and the big, puffy blanket you have draped around you. "How'd you sleep?"
You don't answer, but instead start making your way towards him, the blanket tailing behind you as it drags on the floor. Five more steps and you're right in front of him. Without a second thought, you're climbing onto his lap and making yourself comfortable. Your big blanket covers him, as well as his bag of chips, now, too.
"Still tired, mama?" Toji asks, when you bury your face in the crook of his neck. You grunt, affirmatively, in response, tightening your arms around him. "That's how you answer, now?" He asks, chuckling when you grunt, again. "I'm rubbing off on you. You sound like a bear."
"Why didn't you come sleep with me?" You ask, your voice quiet from being underused.
"I went into the room to check on you and you were knocked out. Even got some cute pictures of you drooling, and you still didn't wake up."
You whine, annoyed at this revelation. "Not cute at all. It's like you don't even love me," you mumble, turning your face away from him, your cheek now positioned on his shoulder.
"Love you enough to keep an album full of these pictures."
"What? Toji." You briefly turn your attention back to him.
"There's eighty in there. Well, eighty-three, with the ones I got today."
You sigh, dramatically, and rest your cheek on his shoulder, again. "I have nothing more to say to you. Goodnight."
You can hear the smirk on Toji's face when he says, "'Night."
In the short amount of time that you slept on Toji, he was witness to yet another one of your dreams. He's been around for plenty of them. Some were nightmares, others just random dreams that made you jolt awake with a jump scare. He's even been around for the good ones that cause breathy renditions of his name to spill from your lips. This one was just weird.
Toji felt you stirring and watched as you nuzzled into his shoulder. He listened in on your nonsensical thoughts and grinned, amusedly, at the randomness. You sounded worried as you mumbled things about your eyes and how you wanted to keep them, and then something else about changing your mind and not being ready. He had no time to wonder what you weren't ready for, because you woke up and you looked scared.
You sit up on Toji's lap and blink a few times as you look around. "Toji, do my... my eyes?" You question, not finding offense in the way Toji looks like he's trying not to laugh. You're still very much concerned about your eyes.
"What about your eyes, ma?" He asks, his gaze darting after yours as you keep looking around.
"Do my eyes still work?" You ask, still panicking on the inside.
"I don't know. Do they?" he says, only further adding on to your fear. There's a small crease between your eyebrows, making you look conflicted. Your expression goes sad when you look away from Toji.
"Ma, wake up," Toji says, pinching your cheek a few times, while wearing a teasing grin on his face. "Look, if you're actually scared, we can check." You really need that confirmation, so you give Toji your full attention. "What's this?" He asks, tapping the scar that strikes his lips.
"Your handsome, sexy, all you can eat, full course meal of a scar," you mumble.
Toji deadpans and tilts his head, furthering his unamused expression. "Your eyes are fine."
"Test me, again. Pleaaaase?" You beg, giving him a soft smile and puppy eyes.
He sighs and gives in, no fight put up against you, whatsoever. "What color are my eyes?"
You hum as you lean in to examine the subject more closely before coming to your conclusion. "The most handsome bobansome, beautiful, crispy green apple, shade of green."
Toji scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief. "See? Your eyes are fine. On that note, you're banned from sleeping on me."
You gasp, dramatically, as if he offended you. "Aren't you the one always manhandling me so that i'm sleeping on top of you? And during our afternoon naps, you put my leg over your hip. And when I try to get up, you--"
"Okay, you're not banned. Jeez." You outsmarted him and it shows through the way he subtly clenches his jaw. "If you like sleeping on me that much, just say so."
You narrow your eyes at him, before pushing off of his chest in an attempt to get off of him.
"Whatcha doing?" He asks, holding your hips down so that you can't move.
"Going back to the room," you say, trying to peel his hands off of you, to no avail. "I would like to sleep on our bed, now, Toji."
"Then, tell me that and I'll take you. What are you doing pawing at my hands, trying to get them off of you?" He takes one look at the involuntary lift of your lips and already knows what's going on. "Oh..." he chuckles. "You a grumpy little bear, now?"
"Don't talk to me," you grumble, huffing childishly and turning your attention away from him.
"Aren't you the one always calling, saying you just wanted to hear my voice while i'm working? And you get goosebumps all over when I talk directly into your ear. And when I don't--"
"Stooop," you whine, leaning forward and burying your face in the crook of his neck, again. Your arms wrap around his neck and your thighs squeeze his waist. "You're not fair," you mumble, into his warm skin.
"Yeah, i'm so cruel to you, huh, baby?" He says, pressing a kiss to your cheek, a soft smile lingering on his lips when you hum out a little "mhm" in response. He moves his bag of chips aside and turns off the TV, before wrapping the blanket around you and tucking the excess away, so that he doesn't trip over it as he walks. With ease, he stands up from the couch and starts towards the bedroom, with his lump of a blanket clinging to him.
#toji#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x you#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x y/n#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen scenarios#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x you
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I ??? woke up at 3am with this scene fully written in my mind palace and quickly jotted it down in the Notes app
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Clark’s shaking his head before he realizes he’s doing it, and feels a twinge of embarrassment at his own bad manners when Bruce stops mid-word to look at him, brows raised.
“No?” he says.
“No,” Clark says, again without thinking, and again with the reflexive urge to apologize. Somewhere his mother is tutting without knowing why. But he doesn’t apologize, because he’s already saying, “No, it can’t—it can’t be that.”
“Okay,” Bruce says slowly. “Can you elaborate?”
He is, honestly, having trouble taking his eyes off the screen. The mockup design of his new suit is there, dark and sleek, ridged like tactical gear. The blue is like the last shade of evening before you can’t call it evening anymore, the color of nine PM in Kansas in July, so exact there’s a strong chance Bruce color-picked it from a photo. The yellow accents are the cool fluorescent yellow-green of lightning bugs. The red is dark as arterial blood. Every aspect of the suit has been updated—the colors deeper, the angles sharper, the S extending to the corners of its frame—but Bruce has done it without changing the fundamentals. It’s immediately recognizable as the Superman suit, just… well, a little cooler, maybe. A little more of the times. Even the tailoring is modernized. The neckline. The shape of the boots. Where the belt hits at the waist. Clark can tell just by looking that Bruce has not only spent a lot of time on this in general, he’s spent a lot of time designing it specifically with Clark in mind, Clark’s needs and preferences and the small discomforts of his current suit, things he might have mentioned offhand after a mission but never with the assumption that Bruce was listening or filing it away. No doubt the next slides of this presentation will detail all the hidden features of the new suit, and they’ll all be incredibly thoughtful if not slightly overkill, and Bruce will pretend his sole motive here was practicality and risk reduction and respond to any thanks with a curt nod.
And Clark wants to thank him. He will. It’s just.
“It can’t be… cool,” he says, inane. Bruce is watching him with that steady look that used to feel clinical, piercing, and now mostly reads as attentive. “It can’t be—like yours. Tactical, military-grade.”
“Lightyears beyond, actually.”
“It has to—Ma said once, a kid should be able to draw it with crayons. You know? I can’t look like a weapon. I have to—I want to look like a friend.”
He can feel himself flushing. It’s rare that he speaks like this, and rarer still that he does so while being stared at intently. Bruce may think of himself as the darkness, but his gaze is a spotlight: unwavering and revealing and more a little sweat-inducing, for one reason or another.
“Sometimes, when I show up, people laugh,” Clark says. “If it’s somewhere out of the way, where they haven’t seen me before. I show up and I look like a festival performer. It’ll be the worst day of their lives, and they’ve got no reason to trust my face, but when they see what I’m wearing—it goes from ‘Who are you?’ to ‘Who is this guy?’ And that’s a good thing.”
“Hard to be afraid of a man dressed in primary colors,” Bruce says, almost to himself.
“Exactly.”
“I see. Thank you,” he says, “for explaining.”
Clark tries not to show how surprised he is to hear that. Judging by the crook of Bruce’s mouth, his success is negligible. “Of course. Sorry I didn’t—I mean, thank you, obviously, for going to such trouble. I didn’t mean to come in here and—I really do appreciate it, I can tell you put a lot of work in—”
Bruce’s eyes cut away. “No. No need. I didn’t ask, before I…. It was only a first draft. If you’re amenable, I’ll incorporate your feedback into the second one.”
“Oh! Yeah. Yes, of course, but you really don’t have to—”
“If you have any further notes, I would like to hear them.”
There’s something determined in the lines of his face. Clark has the sense that this moment is important, that it’s a turning point, even if he’s not sure why. It feels like striking out into a sea of ice, a blank white expanse under which something precious and vital is hidden, has been hidden all along, just waiting for him to find it. To want to.
“Sure,” he says. He looks back at the suit and swallows, and knows Bruce will see the flicker of his throat and take some meaning from it, and wishes he knew what the meaning was. Or maybe Bruce won’t notice or read into it at all. Maybe Clark needs to calm down, in fact. “Um. I don’t want to assume, but does it… do things?”
“It does things,” Bruce confirms, after the barest pause. “Let me show you the next slide.”
#superbat#my writing#i was genuinely surprised to wake up and discover i hadn’t just dreamed the whole thing
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Quickies are never possible with Caleb .
🍎nsfw warning (18+) + tags:, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names (baby, honey, sweetie/sweetheart, princess, etc…), biting, praise kink, big cock, deep creampie, overstimulation, inappropriate usage of Caleb’s evol [ 1.3k words | porn without plot ] [A/N: i really want to write about Caleb using his mechanical arm...]
Here’s the thing that you quickly realized with Caleb ever since the two of you have became intimate: You could never do quickies with him.
And it is very hard to say no to quickies when it comes to Caleb, especially with those big puppy eyes of his. It’s that sweet voice that he possesses that can easily fog your judgement. “Just 5 minutes, princess. It’s all I ask for, okay? I won’t take long, sweetie. I just- I just need you right now, yeah? Understand me, sweetheart? I just need to feel you real quick and we can get going, okay?”
And who were you to deny him? Ever since you guys were little, you were always weak to his wishes. If Gran asked if you wanted to go to the grocery store with her and get some snacks, you would say no - giving an excuse of something like: “I’m tired” or “I have homework to do.”
Oh, but if Caleb asked you to? It didn’t matter if you pulled 2 all-nighters straight to study for an exam or if you barely woke up a minute ago, you were already rushing to put on your clothes and head out. Sure, you’d complain about how he decided to go at an inconvenient time but really, you were just happy to be by his side. With that sweet smile of his that is only seen with you, it felt like you needed nothing else from the world.
Which is why Caleb was currently drilling his big, thick cock inside your sopping wet cunt right now. This all happened because you couldn’t muster a simple “no” to his request after he walked in on you changing after a shower. You knew that your period was going to come soon so in order to prepare for it, you shaved your pubic hair so it wouldn’t get too messy down there. Just when you were slipping on your underwear, Caleb walked in to see the sight of your plush, bare pussy. It began with a simple - “Just let me feel you, baby. Just real quick, okay? I’ll even wash you again after.”
Perhaps you wanted this to happen as well because if you were stronger, you could’ve easily said ‘no’. But was it really your fault that his voice was just so irresistible?
“Aah-...! Haahn- C-Caleb! Caleb…!” His name, along with your dirty moans, were the only sounds that could be made from your drooling mouth. He was on top of you, relentlessly pumping his hard cock in and out of your pussy that was just gushing juices everytime his shaft pulled out of you. He thought that it was so cute that your cunt didn’t want to let go of him.
“What is it, princess?” He’d say in a playful tone, chuckling as he did so. “What do you want me for, baby? You’re saying my name so much… You always say my name so pretty.” He teased the opening of your mouth with his thumb, which you then began sucking as if he had another cock. You could see that his eyes darkened with lust as you licked and teased his tongue before enveloping your soft lips around his digit.
When he dragged his cock out of your pussy, only leaving his thick tip inside, before bucking his hips forward and shoving it all back inside, you bit down on his thumb to contain your cries. He hissed at the pain, letting out another rich chuckle from his throat.
“You want to give me another bite mark again, honey? Go ahead, give me everything you have. I’ll take it all so long as it’s you.” He pressed his pelvis closer to yours, trying to get deeper into your cunt. You could feel him reaching the depths of your sobbing pussy and the only thing that you could do was take all of Caleb inside of you. Along with that, he decided to torture you by rubbing your swollen clit with his large, big fingers. Your soft walls clenched around his thickness as you began squirting now - your mouth opening to let out a cry.
Your squirts began dirtying his abs, soaking it with all of your slick and wetness. He let out a dark laughter, satisfied by your adorable reaction to him fucking the shit out of you.
Caleb continued to fuck you as you orgasmed, enjoying the feeling of your walls getting wetter and tighter with every spasm he forced out of you. He felt delirious now, moaning as he felt you give him everything you had from your cunt. - “Fuuck, baby… You feel so fucking good inside. You’re taking my big cock so good with your pretty ltitle cunt, honey.” You tried to get up and slap away his hand in order to stop the overstimulation but you quickly felt his evol stopping you - forcing you to stay in your current position. You were just a fuckdoll laying down on his bed, forced to take whatever torture he wished to lay on you.
You started sobbing as he didn’t stop thrusting inside of you nor did he stop his fingers from playing with your swollen bundle of nerves. Your hips began squirming down and you, yourself, were unsure if you really wanted him to stop or not.
He leaned down to start to kiss you, tasting all of the sweet gummies that he had bought you earlier. One of his free hands intertwined itself with yours, a kind gesture that contrasted how brutal his thrusts were. He was fucking you into the mattress, as if he was trying to get inside your womb room.
The sound of skin slapping against another rang out in his bedroom, along with your cries and moans that you couldn’t help let out. - “Be a good girl for me and cum again, princess. Who’s making you cum? Say my name again with that pretty mouth of yours.” And in response, you moaned out his name again as if it was the only word you knew. Happy with your response, he dragged out his cock until the tip was the only thing left inside, and then slammed it inside of you again. A wet plap! noise was heard, along with your screams. The mattress underneath you was absolutely drenched with cum, slick, and squirt - all because Caleb needed to see you be absolutely ruined underneath him.
“-Mmph… mmm! Baby, I’m so close… I’m gonna go fast now, okay? I’ll let it all in your baby room, sweetheart. Let’s make a cute baby, yeah?” He said against your neck as he began suckling the sensitive skin and nipping at it with his teeth. You weren’t even sure if you could cover them with your Hunter uniform as he began biting the very center of your throat, making you squirm against his evol. His hold on your hand tightened as you felt his brutal pace began going faster. You could feel his cock begin pulsating as he released his seed deep inside of you, pumping in a few last thrusts into your abused pussy in order to make sure that your womb was drinking every single last drop of his precious cum. He whispered your name against your skin, his breath hot and heavy. - “So good, you feel so fucking good… You’re milking me, honey…”
The feeling of his thick cum filling you up made you begin squirting again as you both climaxed together. Your poor abused cunt was grinding against his cock still inside of you, the both of you moaning as you rode your orgasms.
When you felt Caleb release his evol, you sat up and grabbed his face - kissing him deeply as you craved his every person. You needed him more than ever as your mind slowly became more delirious as well.
He chuckled against your lips as you two took a small break to breathe. “Looks like someone is ready for round two then?”
Perhaps this was why you would never believe Caleb asking you for quickies.
#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace#caleb x mc smut#caleb x you#caleb x mc#caleb x reader#caleb x y/n#lads caleb#lnds caleb#caleb smut#l&ds caleb
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I started to bash on german the better I got in english especially regarding dubs (didn't help I was a stereotypical pretentious annoying lil kid) and I am so glad it was likely really just a kid phase bc I am rewatching detective conan in german (and once I hit where they're not getting dubbed anymore I switch to sub bc I do dislike names getting anglicized and I am very glad the ger dub kept the og japanese names, exceptions when I grew up w the anglicized names) and it is so so comfy. The dub is also just plain good imo and the voices are so nice to hear again I am so glad I found a site that got shows in german (ty katrielle layton anime for apparently only being available in japanese and german and me deciding "well I can speak german so why not check it out", nice voice acting but not up my alley).
I do still usually keep away from eng by anime bc I am a sub over dub person and I find most... not that good.. but I stopped to play part in the debate bc I'm sure all VAs try their best. Not for me but if you like em I'm happy for ya. And also in ger it is hit or miss when the og language is eng do I stick to that which is usually the case. Idk if it is just my perception or if it really did but german dubs kinda worsened but who knows maybe I just catched the ones w bad production on that part (reg ops we got nice ones but I was happy to learn others learned abt the one we got for naturo bc. yeah). Like purely anime speaking I think the cartoons and shows on tv are fine. Minus julien bam as sonic in the movies I still can't get over that but no hate towards him I just find the youtuber as voice actor thing always baffling no matter which language (also dislike the celebrity bias in every country. yes that person is famous but do they actually fit that role + voice acting and actor require different skill sets).
I think I started to bash so much on ger bc "og language always better" and sometimes yeah and I do watch if possible in the og w subs so nothing gets lost (that doesn't have to) but where that opinion makes a turn for the worse is if you start to become pretentious about it and everyone who chooses another option is somehow worse than you. Counts for every opinion that obv isn't debating human life. Honestly I adore polls but that's also why people need to zip it with their snarky comments in the answers or also on quizzes, I do have to admit those where op smacks (right answer) or smth on the one that almost no-one clicked on are funny to see though. A bit of banter is fine imo but there are some that are just really not necessary.
Anyways it is kinda funny how I thought one piece would surely get me into anime again bc I do adore it since like kindergarten and it'll forever be in my heart but nope detective conan it is. Ig the aspect of finding out together who the culprit might be is fun next to being able to do other things meanwhile bc I don't have to read. I think I got into conan at age 14? 15? Feels like decades ago though. I don't think I really understood why others rewatch things until now. Like I got it like yeah comfort but not the extend. I always tried not to rewatch bc "I got so much stuff I can't waste time with the same" (<- has replayed okami a lot on wii and now switch while having gaming backlog since forever, replayed bratz the movie on ps2 almost yearly as kid, etc) but I luckily start to go into "who cares" mode fully and it's really nice. I truly get it now.
#a wild lux appears#I wouldn't be surprised if I got a thing w newer anime dubs in ger like english speakers got w eng ones#Esp bc I think we both say the ones we grew up w are good but as soon as subs got found it changed. Idk.#Tho I have to say I did start to genuinely prefer the sub over the ger dub by pkmn and I did grew up w it. Nothing wrong w the ger one tho.#That one is however a example as to why I started w purely sub if not nostalgia watch bc dubs change stuff and I don't like that#Thinking abt a post a mutual rb w 'how it feels to read conan' w everyone just going blabla#Meanwhile I go 'ah yes that is logical' or already had similar thoughts#Sorry I'm not one of y'all I get how shinichi thinks#I think the only thing I had that was when that dude calculated the size of a room and then water pressure or smth.#I like math but I do not have how you do that ingrained in my brain. Such calculations are my nightmare I like other stuff.#No shade to those that only understand blabla tho happy you like such media nonetheless#Anyways reg the last part I still really wanna replay that bratz game once again idk it's just nice#Need to see how to plug my ps2 into that tv#Now that I think abt it that game prob kickstarted my fashion game love huh#I had that bratz game I had barbie dolls I didn't know anything abt the discourse abt either until I started to watch darling dollz#Good channel btw even as a non collector.#But ye doubt my parents knew anything either but they luckily just gave me anything and everything if asked unless price too high#Oh I also got monster high dolls n some movies as dvd. Clawdeen is and stays fav. Why would I put them against eachother.#Anyways I just woke up I should get up
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