#with regards to someone from my life finding my tumblr accidentally

[nosygay]

saw a stupid phrase on my dash and thought "oh I'm so glad someone else says that too, who is it?" 😑

[bengiyo]

Patts Was Going to Blow Tai. Tai Wanted It. Why That Matters.

Greetings, fellow clowns. I am here once again to gush about La Pluie. This time, I’m here to talk about how they’re pacing the sex in this show, and why I hope this is going to become the new norm in genre.

(gifs in this post borrowed from @wanderlust-in-my-soul, used with permission)

At the end of episode four, the end of episode five, and the beginning of episode 6, this show has shown us that Patts physically desires Saengtai. Their first kiss when Tai was drunk lacked any nervousness or uncertainty.

He checked him out four times when he accidentally walked into his room.

He kisses this man with a relief that only someone pining for a long time can feel.

I highly suspect that Tai is a virgin, but he is not embarrassed our shy about that. Tai is a romantic who literally reads Nora Roberts novels to calm down when he gets too excited (@syrena-del-mar​). We know Tai is a romantic who has recoiled inward from the disappointment about his parents. We know that connecting with Patts has reawakened much of this desire in him. What has been a quiet part of this show is how much the show is quietly affirming that Tai is a man. This is significant for me because of all the ways BL/yaoi often creates an uke for the women in the readership to project onto.

In episode four, at the end of the scene where Tai reads Patts’ letter, he jumps backwards onto the bed, and the show lets Title’s bulge bounce briefly. In episode six, we see what appears to be an intentional fold in his boxers to represent his dick print. Then, after he takes his shower, Tai is still thinking about their intimacy on the floor and the show uses sound effects to indicate that he’s still aroused from the moment. This show wants us to remember that these are two guys, and as such they’re approaching m/m intimacy a bit differently than we normally see from the genre.

After they begin kissing a bit, Tai leans into the moment, signified by an effective use of a prop. As a glasses wearer myself, I might have been more careful with my glasses, but I’m not a horny virgin caught up in the moment!

Patts was clearly fine with Tai being on top of him, and only turns them because he’s intending to do something else for him. See @wen-kexing-apologist​‘s post for a more extensive examination of the hands.

I can’t find the posts where we spoke about this before on Tumblr, but I don’t know a lot of folks in my life who are going to go a dinner with spicy foods and then immediately go back home and have anal sex (often with no lube in BL, though we’ve been seeing condoms more lately). There are so many things guys can do with each other long before that particular act, and this felt like the natural progression of their intimacy for the level they’re at.

We’ve also seen repeatedly how much regard Patts has for Saengtai. When he took him to dinner, he explicitly stated that he wants to know the things that Saengtai likes. He wants to take care of him. He wants things to be nice for him. There’s an asymmetry to giving and receiving head that I don’t think we see covered enough in BL. Patts wanted to do something to make Tai feel good.

Tai was clearly into it.

However, because they were caught up in the heat of the moment, and Patts has a good read on Tai, he stops it.

I am so glad this show was willing to show that Patts had to summon his restraint and allowed him to display a bit of frustration about slowing down. It makes him feel real. He’s waited seven years to be with his soulmate, and it turns out they’re compatible! However, there’s no turning off their telepathic connection. Patts wants to do this right. It’s important to do things right.

I need someone who’s more versed in the yaoi framing around seme and uke to look at the couch scene again, because it felt significant that Patts moved himself to the right side of the frame when he wanted to be closer to Saengtai (something he also did in the restaurant with the dad). I think Patts is showing us and Tai that he is willing to adjust himself to any role he needs for Tai’s comfort, which is his primary goal. It also felt significant that he softened more than he has up to this point to reassure Tai that he can want big romantic moments for himself.

I also loved how intentionally Patts removed his hands from Tai when it was clear Tai wanted him to stop touching.

I have a lot I love about this show. I love how it’s subverting the soulmate trope by having Tai and Patts take their time with each other to figure out what kind of relationship they want to have. I like how they’re doing that even as their friends and families are all-but-rushing them into bed with each other.

This show is special, and I cannot state how relieved I was by how this show has avoided faking us out about sexual desire and tension. I like that this show released the tension built up from the last season in a way that also let us learn more about the characters, and let them learn about each other. I’m going to need this to be the year more BL characters blow each other for the plot.

Thank you for coming to my post.

Special shoutouts to @lurkingshan​ and @ginnymoonbeam​ as well for talking through all the ways La Pluie has been playing with and using romance genre expectations.

[mariamariquinha]

What's behind...

Still on that road, I’m back for some background inspiration/maybe I’m little too much into music/my guys have personal playlist stuff. Today we’re going to Versos de Placer, this piece of messy cops and dead bodies and Horacio Carrillo. 

--------------------------

Versos de Placer - Colonel Horacio Carrillo

Yeah, well, we all know the synopsis of this story, right? A Colombian man with dubious ethics and a gringa with daddy issues who have sex. It’s my first Carrillo’ fic and we all know how much I adore Maurice in Narcos. Boom, boom, let’s goooooo 💃

--------------------------

VERSOS DE PLACER - MAYE

Well, I think the name said it 😂😂😂 But it’s kinda curious and delightful to use that song as my first big break on Tumblr, especially with Carrillo who’s a character I personally like a lot. I mentioned an excerpt from it when I made a moodboard for this fanfic a while ago. 

Versos de Placer talks about finding an unexpected love, something that no one was looking for but found in a remarkable and true way. Although the story has not yet been so evident in this regard, I have been reinforcing important signs of the characters' expectations and yearnings for this feeling.

--

--

Yo que no te busqué (I did not look for you)

Sin querer te encontré (I accidentally found you)

--

Me escapó (I run)

A dónde tú estés (where you are)

Una y otra vez (over and over)

More than just the classic “Found you on my worst, you gave me new meaning”, I believe that Carrillo is the type of character who doesn’t mind love. It’s just there for him, sometimes, and he gets used to it since he lives a life of danger, like he rationalized it. The relationship he builds with reader is purely rational and even in the moments of desire or sentimental sharing, in the end they both don’t know what is the next step - they just know something is there and it’s good. 

TÚ - MAYE

Like most writers, I was kind of in a moment when I started writing Versos de Placer. I'm not there anymore, but for all intents and purposes I can say that this particular singer was an inspiration. Firstly because she sings in Spanish and secondly because she's good - I thought that made sense.

--

--

Todo lo que pasa es relativo (Everything that happens is relative)

Pero cada vez que estoy contigo (But every time I'm with you)

El tiempo se detiene (The time stops)

Y desaparece (And disappears)

--

Ya no me hace falta nada más (I don’t need anything else)

Si lo más difícil de encontrar (If the hardest to find)

Lo encontré contigo (I found with you)

Writing to certain couples is like catching glimpses of a future. If I could define a timeline of the story, Versos de Placer would begin and Tú would end, like a moment in which they move from uncertainty to an absolute truth. I'm a sucker for love stories with happy endings - with fidelity, devotion, contact. And perhaps someone may disagree, but I see Carrillo as the type of man who doesn't love unless it's like that, because as I already said, for him love is a palpable feeling and there was no other way to experience it than in total effort. 

This song has a soft, hopeful tone, like a calm, warm love - like driving down the road with the sea breeze on your face, no music but the sound of the wind. I think they both deserve it. Carrillo deserves it.

CHAN CHAN - BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUB

Latin culture is very rich - A LOT. As a Latina woman, I love learning about everything Latin American countries have to offer and I like to talk about it whenever I can, as a historical reparation or just... because. I won't dwell on this, everyone already knows.

I chose this song, but I'm not going to put the lyrics because it's not necessarily what they say, but the intention behind it. Buena Vista Club is a Cuban group and the music, in general, portrays the experience in Cuba. Still, the choice of instruments, the vocal intonation, the musical rhythm, everything always led me to a Carrillo who, unable to consume foreign culture beyond what was strictly necessary, would listen to this. On days in a good mood (rare and very vague) he would hum the song while doing everyday things.

This song is an experience. Listen if you can.

INTIMIDADE - LINIKER E OS CARAMELOWS

Liniker is a Brazilian trans singer who has already become a reference and probably a part of the history of my country. I adore her. Like, she's a goddess. I think that anyone who would think about learning more about our music should start or at least go through her work.

This song is a production with the band that accompanied it, the "Caramelows", and they had such an incredible repertoire.

--

--

Vem me visitar de madrugada (Come visit me early in the morning)

Colocar tua mão em mim que eu deixo (Put your hand on me and I'll let you)

Sem pressa você chega e fica (No rush, you arrive and stay)

Eu finco afeto nesse peito (I plant affection in this chest)

--

Soma, mas não some, fica e a gente dorme (Add up, but don't disappear, stay and we sleep)

Incenso a casa com alecrim (Home incense with rosemary)

The name of the song is very intuitive - Intimacy. To stay together. To share. I don't know, it makes sense. In a context where Carrillo is a man with many rough edges, I think a good thing about many stories is to explore this. It's not my focus, but I can certainly recommend others that address the subject better. This song is more of a recommendation, an immersion into what a relationship with Carrillo could be if nothing were... Well, if we created him. 

----------------------------------------------------

P.S.

I'm taking steps back with my posts here, but I'm not on hiatus. I've been owing this for months and only now have I found the strength to finish it, so you can imagine what my pace has been like lately. This IS NOT an apology, even though it's not a secret (I've always been very clear about my pace), I'm not sorry either. Sometimes life happens and that's normal. 

I'm specifically working on Bossa Nova, because I also took steps back with Versos de Placer for the sake of the story; as I said above, I'm not at the same point as I was when I started it. 

I have a request on my list that I will do as soon as I can. The second part of the last chapter I wrote of Versos de Placer will come out when I'm ready, because it's going to be a turning point and as we're in the final stretch, I want to be more sure of what I want to do. You understand.

The weather is strange around the world, so take care! I'll be around, but a little more off. 

Stay safe!

--------------------

No pressure tags:

@cheesybadgers​

@thesandbeneathmytoes​

@616wilsons​ ​

@nessamc​

@thoroughlymodernminutia​ ​

@padbrookcottage​ ​

@mysoulisasunflower​ ​​

[midnights-wish]

this is a rant regarding umbrella academy's fourth season 'cause i'm not happy with it at all & have the absolute need to just get my opinions out of my system, but no one i know has finished the series, so a tumblr-rant it is.

you've been warned, spoilers from here on out!

okay, so. i will start by saying that i loved the first episode. i watched it & thought that it looks promising, and that the show gets an ending-season it deserves, but starting from episode three (? i believe, could have also been episode four, but since i binged the show i remember the whole thing as a very long movie & can't really put things that happened in specific episodes) i just started to get disappointed.

the vomit 'jokes'. someone there must think those are really funny, but they just aren't. it's gross & cheap humor. i don't mind their vomiting in the car - their bodies are adjusting back to their powers, so being sick is having to vomit makes sense. every other time was unnecessary. i'm aware they did those kinda jokes before too (like when five meets his other self), but tbh i don't like those either. i just don't get it.

the only person actively working to find ben is victor, the others are basically doing nothing, which i feel is a real shame:

klaus is away for the majority of the time 'cause he felt the dramatic need to immediately revert to his drug use after regaining his powers. this led to him being locked away in a room & then a coffin. sad, 'cause like with some other characters his powers got upgraded & they could have used him for so much more than for playing a sex-medium & accidentally getting his dealer killed.

diego is in a character arc of realizing that his family is what matters most for him, which i really really loved! bummer lila had to cheat on him - i get why she did in the context of the story, just don't like the writers chose that direction, when just an episode before both lila and diego started voicing their concerns and personal issues with the marriage. i was thinking they both would start figuring out how to save their marriage and make life both exciting for both of them and their kids. but apparently that was used as a poor excuse for the writers to start an unnecessary romance.

now i get to lila & five. oh my gosh, i hated that so much. look, i'll give gallagher that he played his role very well; i really could feel his characters heartache through the screen as he was watching lila next to diego. but, was that storyline really necessary? i mean i get they were in the subway for seven years, and i understand feelings will develop under the conditions they were in. but i don't think that was necessary. yes, sure, send them to the subway. but instead of embarking them on a seven-year-long journey, why not let them be lost in there for like a month or so, & then make them stumble on that diner together, find out why the apocalypse happens together, and then let the other fives help them to get back home, so that they can inform the others & get a proper plan started? no falling in love necessary. then there would not be an annoying rivalry between diego and five, five would not have left everyone while they were fighting ben & jennifer just so he could sulk (i would have not needed to be put through that kitschy montage), diego and lila could have spent the time fixing their marriage during the episodes, and since everyone would have had the chance to work together much earlier, everything would have turned out more focused as well. also, what i really dislike: if you start this stupid route with them, at least have the courage to also say who lila actually wants to be with after seven years. being gone for seven years and then suddenly returning to your old life after having started a new relationship that also went on for a couple of years is a complex situation. they really could've done something with that, but instead she just flip-flops around, not giving a proper answer while five just sulks (which i find out-of-character, too - from him forgetting dolores completely to betraying his brother, to him suddenly acting out of emotions rather than logic, & to him just sulking alltogether, i mean). i just don't see why this development was needed for the story at all.

luther is with diego the whole time, not much happened for him either, although he did have his little breakthrough of finding out some people in the cia where involved in the cult. which is a nice find, but also didn't play a greater part in the story as not more was done with it.

allison was busy to find klaus. also with her sibling-relationship with him. which i found was an unnecessary fight either way. was just there to create useless drama. not much more to say here either.

don't have stuff to say about ben, he played a big role & i feel everything made sense for him

anyways, when it comes down to it, i just feel dissatisfied. the show would've deserved much better of an ending. i mean, i don't mind the ending per se, it makes sense. i just don't like how they got there. if you're gonna end it with them ceasing to exist, why not let them end everything on a good note, rather than with inflicting an unnecessary love-triangle? also maybe let them work together properly, to show that they learned their lessons from the other seasons? also, what i don't understand, if all of the marigold has to merge with the creature, but there were a total of 43 kids born under the same conditions as they did, then why did it work with them sacrificing just themselves? i mean understand the creature could've gotten to the rest at some point too, but i feel like they could've tapped a bit more into that (maybe during the diner scene).

i dunno, maybe i'm nitpicking, but i just feel the season was full of unnecessary drama, sometimes created out of pure nothing and an unnecessary love-triangle of which that time could have instead been used with bringing everyone together & creating a proper plan (& with diego and lila patching up their marriage and learning to work together as a badass couple; just imagine how cool the fight-scenes could have been, with them fighting using a parents' logic).

i'm just kinda sad now, tbh.

[rayshippouuchiha]

I posted 13,318 times in 2021

10034 posts created (75%)

3284 posts reblogged (25%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 21,061 tags in 2021

#rayrambles - 9565 posts

#anonymous - 4140 posts

#bnha - 2679 posts

#naruto - 1899 posts

#bleach - 657 posts

#fic rec - 617 posts

#fandom - 428 posts

#mcu - 384 posts

#khr - 384 posts

#no one expects the in-queue-sition! - 308 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#which in far too many cases is more important than allowing a kid to grow and experiment and find themselves in the safety of their childhoo

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

After literal decades of dealing with Konoha's disaster shinobi, that finance specialist probably wouldn't even know what to do with Naruto, who saves his receipts, doesn't expense everything, and brought home more resources than he used on a mission.

Finance Shinobi: *in tears and clutching a mission report*

Co-worker: *wincing* Ahh Kakashi-san again?

Finance Shinobi: *sobbing* N-Noooooo. It's Uzumaki

Co-worker: *scoffs* Ugh I can only imagine. Don't know why Hokage-sama let that one make it onto a team. Especially Team 7.

Finance Shinobi: *abruptly stone-faced* If you ever talk bad about my personal savior and future Hokage Uzumaki Naruto again I will gut you like I gutted ANBU Squad 6's budget after that fuckery with the chickens and the cabbage cart.

Co-worker: * pale-faced and sweating* w-what?

Finance Shinobi: Did I fucking stutter? That boy is going to single-handedly fix our economy. Did you know Team 7 got sent out the other day with incorrect paperwork that gave them a third of their normal Team budget? Did you? Huh? Did you know that?

Co-worker: ...n-no I did not

Finance Shinobi: Well they did! And normally that means Hatake, curses upon his name, would come back still somehow massively over budget and with bills. Uzumaki Naruto not only managed to get them back under budget but he brought in a new trade contract with a coconut merchant. I don't even know what coconuts look like but apparently, we'll be getting them at 1/4th the price for as long as Uzumaki Naruto wears a headband. The merchant wrote the contract on silk, included a marriage offer for Naruto with all of their children and then signed it in blood. If anyone ever stops that boy from handing me the most detailed and perfect financial reports I have ever seen in my life I will go rouge, murder everyone in this village and Hatake twice, and then run directly into the sea. Neither the gods nor Tsunade-sama could stop me.

1695 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 06:14:40 GMT

#4

AU where Harry says Fuck It with his entire childhood trauma filled chest, takes a fist full of gold to muggle London the summer after 4th year, gets his hands on a pistol, and then gives Dobby a call.

Imagine Voldemort chilling in Malfoy Manor when some house elf in 16 hats and 27 pairs of colorful socks rolls up with a .45 like "Mr. Harry Potter sir sends his regards."

4746 notes • Posted 2021-04-15 03:39:29 GMT

#3

It's better than I could have ever imagined.

LINK TO THIS MASTERPIECE

7591 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 18:46:01 GMT

#2

Reblog and tell us in the tags what the weapon type you simp after is. Like what weapon do you see a character use and it automatically elevates them in your eyes? Mine's a scythe.

12604 notes • Posted 2021-10-11 02:11:57 GMT

#1

I remember back before the MCU when spoilers were things like who died in the end or who the real killer was. Now spoilers culture is like someone accidentally lets the cast list leak and is instantly shot dead by Disney

23965 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 22:49:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[heliopauseentertainments]

Taking A Hike

A prompt for @megop Week 2022 on Tumblr. Prompt Day 4: Apology / Fall

Continuity: Cyberverse Rating: General Relationship: Megatron/Optimus Prime Characters: Megatron, Optimus Prime

Summary: In which Optimus takes a hike to get away from it all.

Notes: Some slapstick

Crossposting: In a reblog

Fic under the cut

It wasn’t often Optimus got a chance to go relax. Rebuilding society took a significant amount of time and attention. It was boring, thankless work and every time he turned around to get something done, it seemed someone came up to him needing his help with this, that, or the other thing. It was exhausting. Sometimes he wondered if he preferred this or the seemingly endless fighting that had come before it.

At least soon they would be ratifying a proper peace treaty, make the armistice permanent and work on rebuilding between the two factions together, as opposed to each isolated on their own half of the planet. That would make things easier on everyone. For now though, Optimus was determined to make the most of a free day where he could just slip away, somewhere else where the world couldn’t find him.

A hike in the nearby mountains sounded like the perfect getaway. Optimus could be out, enjoy the life that had flourished in the untouched wilds, and relax in the knowledge that he was far, far away from any worries.

Until his face impacted the ground and a loud, indignant shout sounded underneath his now aloft legs. This was what he got for off-roading and not staying on the marked trails.

"Even here, in the middle of nowhere, fate sends you to interrupt my existential ennui!"

Something shoved at his legs with disdain and offense, knocking them aside and causing Optimus to roll off of whatever he'd tripped on.

Sitting up, he rubbed the side of his masked face with a palm to check that everything is where it ought to be.

"Megatron?" Optimus felt his face mask slide away on reflex.

Sprawled out on the ground amongst the oily undergrowth, half-hidden on his back in the forested terrain, was none other than Megatron.

"I can't even disappear into the wilderness without you showing up to literally trample all over my solitude."

"Are you injured?" The last Optimus had heard, Megatron had been in the hospital following his near death encounter with the other version of himself. Should he have even been out?Let alone in the middle of nowhere rolling around in the dirt like a newbuild having a tantrum. He hadn't heard that Megatron had been released from care, but then again Optimus had been so busy, maybe he had accidentally overlooked the news.

It was also entirely possible Megatron had simply broken himself out without regard for whether or not he was medically sound enough to do so.

Optimus leaned over to get a better look. Just in case. What if tripping over him had aggravated any tender injuries?

Nothing immediately struck him as obviously wrong, but Megatron had always been adept at hiding injuries. And sulking.

"That's none of your concern."

Ah, Megatron was merely sulking. He was fine.

This was hardly unusual, but it was unlike him to do it out here.

“In that case, I’ll just be going and leave you to, uh… what you’re doing.” Megatron would be fine, even if he was being rather melodramatic about… something. Hard to say what exactly.

There was a sigh and rustling among the undergrowth just as Optimus got his feet back underneath him to stand. The lump that was his old friend sat up, greasy, crystalline leaves stuck to his plating.

“I owe you something of an apology, Prime.”

Well, that was apropos of nothing, but he might as well hear it. Apologies from Megatron were about as rare as admissions of being wrong about anything. Optimus sat back down on the forest floor with a thud.

“Really?”

“Yes, but you’re not getting one. Just know that I’m aware that you’re owed it. For—”

Oh, there was no need for this. Optimus knew precisely what the problem was.

“Ah, yes, for being a tripping hazard in the forest. No, no, old friend, I shouldn’t have been off the trail—“

Megatron cut him off with a snarl and a wave of his hand.

“No, for—“

Of course, something else then. Well, the answer was obvious. He would just save Megatron the embarrassment of apologizing, protect his dignity as a courtesy in honor of the good old times.

“My apologies, Megatron. Of course, it’s for being on the Autobot side of the planet.” Technically a crime that violated their most recent agreement, but the War had been over for some time and it wasn’t as though Megatron was out terrorizing the citizens. He was just… hanging out on the ground. For reasons unknown but surely harmless. “Well, never fear, I’ll pretend I hadn’t seen you.”

“Prime, will you just let me finish?” Megatron snapped.

“Ah, yes. Excuse me.” Optimus looked off to the side for a second, moderately embarrassed before looking back… only to receive a red-eyed scowl. “Carry on. Please.”

Megatron coughed to make a point about it.

“For the incident with… him.”

Ah, of course, about the other, somehow more ruthless one. If it hadn’t been for Astrotrain, they would have never been able to resolve the situation. Megatron had tried to mitigate the issue. He’d even lowered himself to asking for Optimus’ help back then, but he’d just asked far too late. Even leaders were capable of making mistakes. Optimus had made many.

Unfortunately, neither he nor Megatron were particularly good at admitting their shortcomings.

“I think we can put that behind us, old friend. Your apology is accepted—“

“I didn’t apologize and I have no intentions of doing so in the future. Just know that I am aware an apology is due.”

Well, Optimus supposed that was the closest they were going to get to an actual apology so he would take it, caveats and all. He nodded, allowing them to lapse into silence.

For an awkwardly long moment, they sat there in the dirt, a calm, blue stare meeting a red frown.

Optimus decided to break the ice with a proposition.

“Would you care to join me on my hike?”

[glassessence]

Elriel Hint and Analysis - includes analysis of Feysand & Nessian (ACOSF Spoilers)

I’m pretty new to the fandom, but I am currently obsessed with Elriel. This is my ship and I will go down with it until the day I die. As a fairly casual reader, I honestly had zero doubts the next book would be Elain’s and that the couple would be Elriel. 

Then I discovered the existence of the extra POV chapters and Azriel’s threw me in for a bit of a loop. Especially with the ending (which I genuinely believe is a red herring. I lean very heavily into the lightsinger Gwyn theory).

However, stalking Tumblr made me come across this again: 

Life and death and rebirth

Sun and moon and dark

Rot and bloom and bones

Hello, sweet thing. Hello, lady of night, princess of decay. Hello, fanged beast and trembling fawn. 

Love me, touch me, sing me.

And then my brain accidentally vomited an essay on the symbolism in each sister’s journey... 

Life and death and rebirth so clearly symbolise Feysand’s journey. Feyre leaves behind her life of poverty for a brand new one with Tamlin. She journeys Under the Mountain for love of him and ultimately succeeds in saving not just him, but all of them. In the process, she dies. Not just in the physical sense, but spiritually too. Feyre the human perishes, giving rise to Feyre the High Fae. In a purely physical sense, this is definitely a rebirth. But it’s stilted, incomplete. She’s the newly born phoenix - young, fragile and yet covered in the ashes of its fiery death. Her spiritual rebirth lags behind her newly changed body. Like a bird in a cage, she is trapped in Tamlin’s realm, unable to finish developing, to spread wings and fly. 

That all changes when she is whisked away to the Night Court. She learns to read and some of the ash falls from her body. She makes friends and some more ash is brushed away by the Inner Circle. The final remnants of ash are blown away by the taste of freedom and the kiss of wind, and Feyre’s rebirth is finally complete. Spiritually and physically, she is changed. She becomes Feyre the High Lady. From life back to life, she is returned through the power of love. Take note that while love is important in all the sisters’ journeys, it is the focal point and highlight of Feyre’s. She is someone who has never been loved in that wholesome, selfless way Rhysand loves her. Tamlin was possessive and abusive; Nesta was barbed and sharp. Elain was fragile and ethereal. Love was something she had never really known and consequently something she desperately, desperately needed. That’s why the phrase that symbolises her is love me.

Sun and moon and dark refers very much to Nessian. Nesta is the sun and she is burning. Has been burning for a long, long time. She is aflame, nothing but ashes inside, and her words are fire. She scalds anyone who dares approach, just as everything melts before the sun. Like Feyre, she has had her physical rebirth, but not her spiritual one. She is trapped in her own head, locked behind her own self-hatred, her own raging inferno that yields to no one. Like Feyre, she is also a phoenix, but one whose fire never stopped. In that sense, she has never died. Her spiritual rebirth is not simply incomplete; it has never happened.

Until she starts training with Cassian. Until she starts befriending Emerie and Gwyn. This is what marks the death of Nesta the human and the emergence of Nesta the High Fae. (I use the term ‘human’ loosely here, mostly as a way of conveying my point about her spiritual journey rather than the state of her physical being). She loses her solar flare, that inner blaze that was killing her and blackening her soul. She mellows from unapproachable sun to a softer moon. It’s here that she stays a while, seeming to progress and regress in her healing journey as the moon waxes and wanes. It’s not until the hiking scene that she finally breaks. She weeps despite Cassian’s expectations to the contrary. Through her tears, she finally extinguishes the long-raging fire and hatred that has been destroying her. No more blazing sun, no more wavering moon. Only darkness to cradle her, and acceptance. Through Cassian’s ceaseless efforts and her friends, her journey reaches its apex. She finally becomes Nesta the Valkyrie. 

Her journey hinges heavily upon the fact that nobody could reach her through the flames. Nobody had kept trying after getting burned again and again. Nobody except Cassian. He reaches out, time after time, even when she hurts him. Even when she burns him. Until he succeeds and touches her soul. That’s why the phrase that symbolises her is touch me.

Of course that leaves only the last line: rot and bloom and bones. I wonder who this could symbolise! Surely not the Archeron sister who is associated with roses and has a complicated romance dilemma with someone from the Autumn Court (rot) and someone else from the Night Court (bones)! Surely not!

Jokes aside, I strongly believe this line reveals Elain’s journey. If we continue thinking of the words as a progression, I think it makes a lot of sense. Keeping in mind the theme of life, death and rebirth, this is how I think of it: 

Life / Rot / stagnation, the start of the journey

Death / Bloom / change, the start of healing

Rebirth / Bones / ascendance and acceptance, the start of the future

There are several interesting things to note about the sentence: 

The word bloom is nestled among rot and bones

Elain’s two potential love interests both have strong associations with those words

I’ll address each point as we delve into Elain’s analysis. 

Let’s start with Elain the human. As previously established, this is when the character is at their worst, blind in the dark before the dawn. I see this as Elain’s forced transformation by the Cauldron. Everything she knows is ripped away from her and her marriage crumbled to dust. She is thrust into a world both unknown and at war. She emerges changed and cursed with powers she cannot control and does not understand. Her life, once a slow-blooming flower, has just rotted into nothing. She is lost, confused and deeply depressed. Her physical rebirth may be complete, but her spiritual rebirth cannot begin until she gathers the shattered pieces of herself back together.

This happens slowly. So slowly, in fact, that it’s hard to notice and easy to dismiss. She befriends Nuala and Cerridwen. Begins gardening again. Talks to the Inner Circle and buys them gifts for Solstice. Slowly, so very slowly, she is starting to piece herself back together. Off-page, she quietly unravels Elain the human and emerges from her cocoon as Elain the High Fae. Like a wilted flower that has dropped its petals, a new season has come, bringing with it new buds. She is blooming, opening herself to new possibilities for companionship, love and for a new self to rise to the surface. But blooms are fragile, newly born things. Elain hasn’t dealt with the full force of her trauma, of her lifelong lack of choice (I’m not going to delve into this as there are so many amazing analyses out there!). She is a trembling fawn, still trying to learn how to walk.

But her spiritual rebirth will remake her. Bones. It’s so different from the previous two words that it really leaves an impact. Blooms rot and fade. Flesh breaks and dies. But bones are strong, the frame that holds up our entire beings. Bones are unyielding and solid, taking no other shape like blood nor bruising like flesh. I see this as Elain standing up for herself, unswayed by external forces that have always governed her life and breaking away from the fragile flower people have always thought she was. By cutting away the rotting flesh, she will reveal the backbone beneath and ascend as Elain the Kingslayer/Seer. 

Of course, closely tied to each sister’s personal growth arc is her love interest. For me, I don’t see it going any other way than Azriel. 

SJM chose rot not only to represent the ‘life’ section of Elain’s personal journey, but also to represent Lucien. He has connections to the Autumn Court, a season that is often associated with decay and rot, but also with harvest and bounty. Highlighting the negative aspects of autumn invokes a strong sense of wrongness. Lucien is not right for her. Not to say anything bad about his character; he’s just not right for Elain. His presence in the books eats away at her newfound boldness; he rots away the path she is trying to carve for herself. 

On the other hand, Azriel is closely tied with death, with blood and bones and shadow. He’s not only Rhys’ spymaster, he’s also his torturer. His association is with bones, a word that invokes a sense of everlasting, of persevering beyond death. Bones is also used to describe the ‘rebirth’ section of Elain’s personal growth arc, the final aspect that leads to ascendance, and acceptance of one’s past and present. Meanwhile, bloom represents Elain herself and the ‘death’ portion of her story, the aspect that heralds change and healing. 

Rot, bloom and bones represent both her personal journey and her love interests. It’s all intrinsically linked. Lucien is ‘life’ and stagnation, Elain is ‘death’ and change, and Azriel is ‘rebirth’ and acceptance. As a progression, this is how I interpret the sentence: 

By rejecting the bond with Lucien, she is stepping into herself and forging something everlasting with Azriel.

Lastly, let’s not forget that the phrase symbolising her is sing me. This didn’t make much sense to me until I read Azriel’s bonus POV. In it, he confesses to Gwyn that he does sing. Why include this if it’s not a subtle callback to this prophetic paragraph in ACOMAF? It feels like a treat to hardcore fans who like finding all the little connections (since they’re the ones most likely to have read the bonus chapters). The fact that Gwyn also sings signals to me there’s an important plot point regarding song. Maybe homegirl Elain will be forced to throw a hardcore metal concert to save Az XD Wouldn’t that be a plot twist HAHAHA. 

I don’t know when SJM started planting seeds for Elriel in any serious capacity, so perhaps I am reading WAY too much into this. Either way, I am super keen for the next book!

Please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts! I am desperate for Elriel right now hahaha. Thanks for reading! 

OH, BUT ONE MORE THING. 

The greetings are really interesting. Sweet thing obviously refers to Feyre. Lady of night and princess of decay are clearly meant for Nesta. 

Fanged beast and trembling fawn are left for Elain. It’s easy to write this off as being about her LI and herself, respectively, but I don’t know. The sentences build upon each other. A single moniker grows to two - the first separated by a comma, the second expanding to use an and. It’s something you see a lot in poetry, generally used to emphasise a point. I’m not entirely sure what the point is; it might just be a nice writing flourish, but wouldn’t it be interesting if both those statements were referring to Elain herself? Wouldn’t it just be juicy? 

[hollowedwing]

Isekai-ed into Hawk's Life

Hawks x gn!winged!Reader

Warnings: ⚠️ Death!(at very beginning, it is an isekai), mentions of death throughout, some angst(??maybe not yet??), slight cursing

THIS WILL NOT FOLLOW A SPECIFIC TIMELINE IN THE MANGA

(so sorry i just, love, love, the idea of having wings)

(this is all my art, it is on IG, im just too embarrassed for people who know me irl to potentially find this xD Even though none of them have tumblr 👀 if you somehow recognize it...props to you?)

_________________________________

tbh, I can’t decide if I want this to have more than 1 part. 

Word count: ~1,800

_________________________________

You were on your way home from a long evening at your part time job. Before that you had already taken 2 finals that morning too.

You dragged your feet, exhausted, as you headed towards the crosswalk. Stopping at the edge as the traffic light turned green, you decided to pull out your phone and decided to watch a speed paint from your favorite artist who recently released a new video.

It just so happened it was a Hawks speed paint 👀

The light turned red and you slipped your phone into your pocket as your started to make your way across the street

little did you know this would be the last time you'd cross the street

A wild driver came barreling down the road, no regards for civilians or traffic lights, probably drunk or high or just someone out for blood.

You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as your life flashes before your eyes

You can barely comprehend what's happening as you felt pain engulf your body and suddenly you were unconscious

________________________________________

Keigo tiredly stumbled into his large apartment, kicking off his shoes and shrugging his jacket off by the door

He wants nothing more than to just flop down and pass out. The HPSC has been giving him hell lately about god knows what.

He let out a long sigh and headed towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine

As he finishes up, he drags his feet towards his bed and flops down face first into the comfort of his pillow and sheets

Keigo falls asleep almost instantly after getting into a comfortable position, worn out from a long day of work

What he wasn't expecting was a loud "thud!" coming from the main room. He jolts up from his bed, feathers ready to attack.

*******

Reader's pov(?)

*******

You groaned as you hit the floor. Your head was spinning and it feels like a truck just hit you

oh wait...

You suddenly became more alert, looking around in a panic, expecting to either be on the road and injured or in a hospital of sorts. What you didn't expect was a wooden floor inside of a random apartment.

You felt around your body for any signs of injury, but all you found were a set of wings on your back- wings?? Hold up. Why did you feel wings what kind of sick joke was this?

Your thoughts were racing as your breathing picked up. What was happening? Didn't you just get hit by a vehicle? Why are there wings in your back? Where are you even?

Feeling around in your pockets, you found your phone and whipped it out, trying for anything. You turned it on, the harsh light of it illuminating your face, you tried to send a text to your best friend, but alas, it wouldn't go through. Actually nothing on your phone seemed to work. You checked your location settings, for some reason it said Musutafu, Japan.

Wasn't....Wasn't that the location that most of Boku no Hero Academia took place?? This can't be right, this has to be a dream right? There's no way that you could have actually ended up here unless...

Then it hit you.

You read your fair share of isekai series back when you were alive in your realm. Mostly manhwas of characters getting reborn into another person's body, but, never actually reincarnating as yourself into another world.

That was the only thing you could think of. You must have been reincarnated into the Boku no Hero Academia world. Except as yourself.

In all honesty, this is not how you thought you'd go out. You didn't know what to expect after death, but this definitely wasn't it. After all, this was a fictional setting, wasn't it?

Well, not anymore because now you're living in it! Smh.

That would also probably explain the wings on your back. This was you now. You have a bird quirk.

Now, all you have to do, is figure out where the heck you are.

Just as you are about to stand up, feathers zip towards you, pinning you to the ground

You hear footsteps begin to come towards you. You don't know if you should be scared for your life considering you've already died once or ecstatic because, you knew for a fact, this could be none other than Hawks' apartment.

The winged hero finally emerges and stares down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

He says in a low, gravely voice from sleep, "Who are you, and how did you get into my home?" You stare back up at him and nervously chuckle.

"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." You nervously sigh out.

"Try me." He demands, sounding a little more irritated now. You sigh in defeat and start to explain your situation.

"Do...do you know what an isekai is?" You said sheepishly while turning your gaze away from his. He kind of gave you a confused head tilt and just a vibe that said “No”. You sigh again and explain it to the best of your ability. Hawks becomes more and more interested and confused as you talk, but nods a long slowly. 

“So...you were reborn here, but as yourself? Wait- does that mean you died before!?” He asked, disbelief and fear ran through his eyes. You looked at him in bitter amusement.

“Apparently I did. The last thing I remember of my world was getting hit by some truck or car. The dude clearly did not know how to drive. I had the right of way I was pretty sure at least. I mean, the light was red, usually that means pedestrians can cross the street? And plus he was going wayyy over the speed limit,” you begin to ramble on, the reality of actually dying setting into you. Hawks noticed the panic beginning to set into you and released you from his feathers. He crouched down next to you and grabbed your shoulders gently.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, you're ok now, right? You're here, and not dying in the middle of the street still. You're here. In Musutafu," he said trying to calm you back to reality. Well, what was your new reality. Your mind was racing. Trying to put together a coherent thought. 

You look up to him, with a panicked look still in your eyes, thoughts started to come out of your mouth as your brain was trying to catch up with the situation. "I'm... I'm in Boku no Hero Academia and, and you’re Keigo... standing... right in front of me..I have wings. I have wings? Jeezus I have fucking wings. And I’m dead in my own world. I don’t know anyone, well, wait, technically, I do know people, just-Oh gods! I’m so sorry, that name slipped out! I- I, I’m really sorry Hawks." Even in your wild state, you noticed Hawks tense up at the sound of being called Keigo by a total stranger, and were able to get out an apology. That was progress? You were slowly coming back to reality.

Hawks froze up a bit at the sound of hearing his real name mentioned. At first he wasn't sure if he believed your tale of the isekai situation, but after this he might have to reconsider it. He opted to shake off that weird feeling for now and focus on different matters. 

" I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I have nowhere to go or to stay. I'm in a whole different freaking universe! My phone doesn't even hardly work here. And I have a pair of wings on my back!" You puffed them out angrily. Hawks glanced behind you and his eyes widened a little. You in fact, did have a set of bird wings. Kind of owl like wings. Not near as big as Hawks', but definitely big enough to fly you around.

Before Hawks could process the words coming out of his mouth, he was already asking you, "Would you maybe like to stay with me? I can help with your quirk too." He glanced away awkwardly. You looked towards him in disbelief.

"Dude, are you sure? We literally just met like 10 minutes ago? I mean, I'm all for it, I have nowhere else to turn to, but if you really really don't want me here, I will politely step out of your life." You so badly wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but being the considerate, mostly sensible human you were, you gave him the option to back out. Hawks shook his head.

"No, no, it's alright. You can crash here. Uh- I mean- stay here! Sorry!" You giggled at his comment.

"Well thank you very much!"

"It's all good. I have a spare bedroom you can occupy for the time being. I'll give you some clothes to sleep in that'll hopefully fit. Accidentally bought a couple things in the wrong size without looking. " (a/n: just...just assume its your size, or oversized, whatever's comfy idk) He jumped up and headed towards his room to grab you the clothes. You still sat on the floor. Still amazed at everything that was occurring.

Hawks walked back into the room and tossed you the clothes. "Hey uh, you know, you can get up now, sorry for holding you down earlier.."

You blushed and scrambled to stand up, "Oh no! It's ok! I understand. This would definitely warrant that kind of action. Some random stranger crashes into your apartment at like 1am. I completely understand. Honest."

He let out a small laugh and wearily brushed his fingers through his hair. The adrenaline of everything finally wearing off. He could feel the tiredness setting into his aching muscles again. “Ah, well, I’m going to head to bed now. The room is down the hall at the very end that you can stay in. I’ll take you out training tomorrow evening if that’s alright?”

You gave a nod of understanding and followed him down the hallway. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sang as he walked into his bedroom. He gave a hum of acknowledgment and closed his door. 

Making it into what was now your room, you changed out of your clothes so fast, eager to rid yourself of the past hours events. 

Not gonna lie, you could not figure out how to properly get your new wings into the shirt, even with the holes and snaps in the back. Your mind was too exhausted to even process this new skill. So you ended up going to bed without the shirt on and just settled for putting the sweatpants on. 

You figured it’d be good to just pass out asap. You were sure if you tried to recount the recent events, you’d spiral into a panicked mess. 

You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to sleep, trying to only think of positive outcomes for the future. But to be honest, you didn’t know enough about anything in this realm to think rationally about anything good. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I prooobably didn’t proofread this as much as I should have

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin and MC’s High School History- Detailed Timeline

Dedicated to my amazing and kind friend @cheri-cheri- one of the Queens of the MLQC fandom on Tumblr! I literally didn’t know how to use it before but I had learnt how in order to keep up with her posts. Without her work, I literally wouldn’t be on here making my own blog either. Thank you, Cheri!!

This is a timeline following the years of high school that MC and Gavin had together. Compiled of dates, rumours and secrets, calls, texts, and other from multiple servers. The source will be shown allocated to its corresponding sentence. I created this because I was really moved when I rewatched Gavin’s Old Days Date and suddenly thought of the many things other players could have missed out on regarding their high school years. If there is anything you need clarification on, or if you would like to add anything in, feel free to send a post/ask or just comment and I’ll try to incorporate and adjust accordingly! 

Based off of true correspondence of the Chinese education system in Shanghai, where the schools there are very strict, with specific responsibilities and events students must have and attend to. In addition, this is different from Western school systems where years 7-9 are in a seperate schools from years 10-12 before university. Dates and seasons mentioned will also be noted as accurately as possible to suit the Loveland storyline in which different events occurred. I felt like a detective trying to piece a fractured storyline together to solve a mystery, honestly...

Prepare your tissues, your milk tea and your soul because even I almost didn’t make it to publish this...

Timeline

2008

Gavin enters high school.

2009

MC and Minor enter high school. MC does her hair in a nice ponytail, one of the only hairstyles she ever had in school.

Gavin is a grade above her. He is in his last year of high school. [Spring Festival Date]

Late Autumn of October 2010

“I noticed who you were before you ever noticed me.” 

On a rainy first day of school, Gavin helps Mr Keller move the tables and chairs in the classroom. 

Without taking an umbrella, Gavin leaves. 

At the same time, MC saves a cat in the rain with her handkerchief, attempting to shield it from the incoming rain under a roof. She gives it snacks from her bag while sheltering it from the rain. 

Gavin thinks she was nerdy-looking, but couldn't take his eyes off her and watches her from a distance for a long time. He feels out of place standing.

She looks back at him in astonishment, not knowing how long he stood for. 

She smiles at Gavin.

Gavin notes that MC’s smile just like her eyes, were pure and comforting as they start filling his vision. 

The rain starts to get heavier and MC shivers. 

Something stirred in Gavin’s heart as he notices this, and kicks a can in frustration then shelters her with his jacket. 

He runs away as MC shouts, “thank you!” 

She didn’t know it was Gavin who gave her his jacket at the time.

MC goes back and is then told by her fellow classmates that the boy she encountered was the “tyrant school bully”,  and “the Underworld Senior Gavin”, and that she should stay away from him. [Tilted Time- Rumours and Secrets]

-

MC finds piano dull to play the same songs over and over again.

MC in her spare time practices and sings to Liszt’s Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream) for a talent show.

At the rooftop, Gavin is wounded by a gangster’s knife. A gradually intensifying melody is heard. 

Gavin kicks the gangster boss but then is pursued again. Outnumbered, wounded and losing consciousness due to major blood loss, the gangster boss kicks Gavin off the roof. 

Gavin reaches out, to something- anything. 

A heavy, surging melody sounded, transcending through time and allows Gavin to reflect on his past- to his father, to his late mother, and invokes deep reflection and epiphanies. 

Heavy notes seep into Gavin’s ears as he almost hits rock bottom. He feels his limbs emerging with the wind and awakens his wind evol. 

Gavin is now reborn.

The music continued to play. Gavin ends up humming with a bird. 

He then hears MC’s singing.

MC stops, mesmerised by the ginkgo leaves flying through the wind. The ginkgo leaves falling was her favourite time of the year in high school. This vivid sight is still engraved in her memory after many years.

Gavin vows to protect her for the rest of his life. [Campus Date]

-

Gavin saved Minor from bullies. 

Minor also happens to be MC’s outgoing, talkative desk mate who sometimes helped old ladies cross the street. How he managed to hang around Gavin and not get beaten up, nobody knew (except us). He would often copy MC’s homework but never dragged her down with him if he got caught. This was MC’s biggest impression of him. 

During science class, MC cooked noodles for Minor on the Bunsen burner when he was hungry. The recipe was Shrimp flavoured instant noodles, mix two eggs in well, then add a dab of sea salt and black pepper. [S1 Chapter 7-1]

-

Gavin is always at the school gates at 7:30am. Carrying his flat school bag, he orders fish balls at the snack kiosk on the north side of the school. It was the third day in a row that Minor notices this. [Minor’s Memory Book]

Gavin would occasionally travel around on his bicycle. (Pre-debut Sparky??) He says he was good at riding it. [Lost Love Date]

It was hard to find Gavin as he’s rarely at school, so she didn’t see him until 3 days later when MC went to the library at sunset. 

She tries to retrieve “Byron’s Poetry Collection” from the top of a 2-metre shelf, and since Gavin was a head taller, he was able to help her get it. 

He musters up the introduction that he recited many times- but MC quickly thanks him and leaves before he could speak.

Minor notices Gavin watching after MC and that he was SMIL-ING. 

He helps him locate MC and reports that every day after school she would go to the library for afternoon revision, always sitting in the same seat. 

Gavin sat at a corner not far, quietly flipping through textbooks he hated. People who were reading in the library would be driven away because they were scared of him LOL

MC would then leave at 5pm sharp to go back home. 

Gavin commits to walking back 10 metres behind her with Minor every day on forward. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets] 

-

Gavin saves Minor from bullies again. Minor dedicates himself to be his “bro”. 

He finds out that MC is an honours student, but doesn’t know that she’s the school orchestra leader. [Mystery Wings Event] and [Mark Date] However, he does know that she’s renowned as the “campus belle/ school flower”.

Minor idly mentions that more people were giving MC love letters.

Gavin tells Minor to collect all the people who were planning to confess their love to MC. Minor doesn’t want to be wingman anymore HAHA

Gavin stared those boys down as they trembled with fear. He tells them to take them back and if they scare her, he’ll make them regret it. 

Minor realises Gavin’s feelings for MC. [Minor’s Memory Book] 

-

MC eats from a small stall outside the school gate selling red bean puffs. ($3 for one, $5 for two. What a deal!) 

She also encounters the stall that sells sugar figurines [Gift of Life- Sugar Figurine Call]

MC ate chocolate sticks often at school. It's also a memory of student life for Gavin, as well. [CN 2021 March Sign-In Taste of Happiness]

Students would scramble for the small swing set in the school garden. MC never went at lunch breaks, but she watches the sunset on it after school. Gavin is sometimes nearby. MC never noticed him, but she does however notice the ginkgo leaves dancing in the wind. [Mini House Small Happening- Leisure Time]

-

Gavin isn’t his usual self anymore. He sees MC out in the library everyday and starts reading “5 Years of College Examinations and 3 Years of Sample Questions” (book for colleague entrance examinations).

MC watches a basketball match at school. She calls someone from an away team “dashing” because they won with a dunk. This has been engraved in Gavin’s memory ever since. [Dreamers Date]

Gavin found out that he was very fond of basketball success stories, rushing into the court to try hundreds of shots after. He writes “I will beat you” beside Sakuragi Hanamichi from a Slam Dunk poster alongside “not a step back”.

(Slam Dunk starts out with a boy wanting to play basketball to impress his crush.)

Gavin then injures his head badly :(

He realises that basketball couldn’t help him to protect anything he wanted. He determines that he will do whatever it takes (to “beat” himself”). [Mystery Wings Event]

-

Gavin leans against a tree as he watches MC hurry down the corridor as she clutches a textbook. [Boundary Rumours and Secrets]

MC would eat pocky. Gavin would eat them too. [2021 March Sign-In Moments]

- 

MC faints during a sports meet because she didn’t eat breakfast.

Gavin hurries to carry her to the infirmary. [CN Delightful Search Date]

He leaves bread and milk before she wakes up.

-

MC is on duty during PE class, which happens to be on basketball. 

Minor was careless about his aim and the ball almost hit her in the head. Gavin slams the ball away. [Minor’s Memory Book]

Gavin glares at Minor as MC thanks him.

Minor also “accidentally” pushes MC towards him.

Gavin glares again.

Gavin later is continuously shooting hoops. 

MC returns late at night to clean up the gym but all had been returned neatly in the basket. MC wanted to thank him but couldn’t. [CN Basketball Court Date]

-

There was a school sports competition that they attended. Gavin participated in the 10 lap race and came first by an impressive large measure. [Minor’s Memory Book]

MC participates in the sprint race, too. Gavin is worried about her performance, and if she would faint again. 

Gavin requests Minor to take a photo of her on his phone (which probably ended up as the photo that he carried with him in his early days at special training where the other men teased him about hiding a photo of a girl.) 

Approaching the End of October 

Gavin, Minor and MC are walking home. 

The weather is cold, and Gavin notices MC shivering in the distance. Gavin, conflicted by this, tells Minor to buy MC a hot drink without telling her that it was from him. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets] 

MC would occasionally spot a hot drink or a carton of strawberry milk in the piano room. [Chapter 31-12]

-

Gavin one day is conflicted by their early exchange, recalling how MC looks startled at the entrance of the library after seeing each other. His spirit depletes, kicking himself (metaphorically) in the corner of the classroom at how he might have scared her. 

Minor rushes in with a pink bandaid from MC for the wound at his mouth. 

He carefully took that bandaid, treating it as if it was his world’s most precious treasure.

This pink bandaid was always taped on his heart and whenever he stepped into the swamp-like darkness of the night, it gave off a faint warmth. [Mystery Wings Event]

-

MC starts to notice Gavin everywhere. At the corners of windows, she would see his figure. At the library, he would help her retrieve books from higher places. She would also see books laid out on his table, but most of the time he would be sleeping. Beneath his overlapping arms, he sees “Byron’s Poetry Collection”. Gavin doesn’t understand the poems, though. 

Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI 

"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide, And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death,

-

At the music rehearsal room on the fifth floor, she would see a corner of his shirt in the wind. 

MC thinks Gavin is friendly and slowly lets down her guard. 

At the canteen, he would offer her the last bottle of water. 

She begins smiling at him when they see each other, with the small arcs forming on her lips, soon becoming smiles that made her eyes squint.

-

MC would walk along the Senior hallways and subconsciously stop at a certain classroom- catching the sight of Gavin sleeping. On one particular day, she sees him standing by the window, staring at the sky. 

-

Minor asks Gavin if he could form a band with him. Gavin rejects him. He then asks Gavin if he wanted to join the school’s singing competition. Gavin rejects him again, saying that he didn’t perform for unimportant people or have others tell him how well he could play.

MC plays “Falling Slowly” on the piano. Gavin hearing this, learns to play the guitar. He doesn’t know the name of the song but familiarises himself with the melody. [CN Music and the Past Call]

-

Whenever school let students out early, she would go to Lynn’s Kitchen. MC gets her noodles with clear broth, chopped scallions and a half-boiled egg. Gavin usually gets his spicy noodles with garlic, cilantro, thinly sliced beef.

Gavin remembers her favourite order. 

MC leaves a post-it note at Lynn’s Kitchen, “I might never see you again and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I miss you”, about a friend who transferred schools. 

Gavin knows she hates people who leave without saying goodbye the most.

Gavin, also in the vicinity near Lynn’s Kitchen, writes a post note.  “Until I met you.” [Mystery Box Game]

He saves Mr Noah’s son from an accident, immediately takes him to the hospital and pays for the medical fees. [Anime]

-

Gavin dismisses rumours of high school romance. 

“If you confessed on the 7th step of the stairway in the corner of the 3rd floor then it’ll succeed, or if you carved your name and another person’s name on the 6th tree in the courtyard at the back then your misunderstandings will be resolved, or if a guy gave the girl he liked the second button of his uniform on graduation day then the two of them will end up happy together.”

At lunch, he hears MC talking about the second button, and upon seeing her yearning face, he raises his head in thought, suddenly couldn’t wait for graduation. He tears off his second button. [Mystery Wings Event]

Gavin is just in love at this point.

-

Gavin sees one of the top students stealing money from a shop outside of school. The shopkeeper doesn’t believe him. 

He stops the student on his way home to hand him back the money. 

MC sees him at the alley then leaves.

Gavin spent all the money on a walkman he wanted for a very long time.

Mr Keller was the only one who believed in him. He said to him, “Since you can’t change what others think of you, you might as well just listen to your heart.” This had a great impact on Gavin. [Campus Date] 

Winter 

In the snowfall, the school allowed additional ten minutes of break time. The class next to MC’s stuffed Minor’s shirt with snowballs.

Gavin thought of helping him with a counterattack but MC had already returned a snowball to the male student who pulled the prank. 

Gavin looks at MC the whole time. [CN Recovery ASMR]

-

MC overheads girls in her class say that Gavin had bullied students for lunch money that morning. 

MC rides her bike back home after studying at the library for her finals. 

MC sees Gavin being handed an envelope full of money at Lynn’s Kitchen in an alleyway. 

She mistook it for him taking protection money. 

-

Summer of June 2011

On a humid afternoon, MC looks outside the window of the classroom in boredom. A boy in a loose-fitting school uniform ran by. She couldn’t make out his face. [S1 Chapter 7-23]

MC begins to distance herself from Gavin. She rushes out of class and goes straight home instead.

Gavin is sad. He broods by the piano room, goes to the library to brood, then stares at the place MC sits to brood some more. 

Minor wonders how he’s able to stare all afternoon at an empty space in the library but sleeps all day during class hours. [Minor’s Memory Book]

Before graduation, Gavin’s father expresses his thoughts for Gavin to join the organisation for special training. Gavin refuses, but his father uses MC to influence him to agree. 

Gavin remembers the panic and timidity in MC’s eyes when she first met him. He recalls that moment was probably the hardest to bear in his life.

Gavin in his short period of freedom writes a letter to MC. He ponders about what to say, thinking about their first encounter, and how she started to distance herself from him. But all he writes is-  

“Saturday 9am, I will be at the school library waiting for you.

-Gavin.”

-

MC attends the flag-raising ceremony and rehearses her speech. She then leaves to study for her exams. 

Meanwhile, Gavin finishes a fight with other boys from school in an alley after they talk inappropriately about MC. [Old Days Date]

Gavin, bloodied and bruised, asks Minor to make another copy of his letter. 

This is the only thing that Gavin had asked Minor to do so of course, he agreed. [Chapter 7-11]

Minor thinks the letter is a symbol of passion and fierce love due to the bloodstains and decides to keep the original. 

He writes “GAVIN” and places it on MC’s desk for her to see the next day. 

(In the Campus Date, the older MC is the one who finds him instead of Minor and treats him to his injuries. She ends up seeing the contents of the letter to find him later on.)

MC mistakes the letter as a threat and throws it away. 

That Weekend

Gavin sits for 14 hours in the library waiting for MC, scanning the library every now and then.

With a fingertip, he rubs “Byron’s Poetry Collection” and carefully sandwiches a dried and yellowed ginkgo leaf into the book. He suddenly felt a measure of self-deprecation.

He stands up, and leaves, his heart filled with regret that he didn’t give it to her personally. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets]

After Summer Break- July 

Minor never saw Gavin, and neither did MC. 

“We met often, but never passed by each other. I remember every moment I saw you in school. Time, location, weather, your expression, your clothes...

-I remember them all.”

[theclockworkmonk]

Out of the Mouths of Babes — Chapter 4

Read on AO3

Read on FFNet

Chapter 1 on Tumblr

Chapter 2 on Tumblr

Chapter 3 on Tumblr

Written for Hinny Ficfest 2021

Prompt: “Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.

*******

Ginny had disappeared, dragged through the kitchen door, before Harry could come up with an excuse to keep her by his side. He sighed and took a long gulp from his glass of firewhiskey, welcoming the burning sensation down his throat. Whatever his family was so wound up about, Harry knew he wasn't in danger here, so he hoped the drink would dull his overactive auror instincts so he could enjoy the evening.

"So...how's the shop?" asked Harry, choosing to focus on George, "any accidental new body parts I can't see?"

"Harry, I'll have you know that we ascribe to only the highest of safety standards at Weasley Wizard Wheezes," said George with his nose in the air, "We strictly adhere to a dual-fault system to make sure a trained wizard is on-site to intervene in case of emergency."

"By that he means that he doesn't try any weird shit on himself without me there to rush him to St. Mungo's," said Ron with his mouth full, wincing as his mother smacked him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon for his language.

Harry's eyes narrowed at his best friend. "So you two are already partners now? Really wasting no time on bailing on me, aren't you?"

"Don't be a prat!" grumbled Ron. "No, like I said, it was just a thought that I had. You know, the kind of thought you would hope you could share with your best mate without him jumping down your throat?"

"Well I think it's a marvelous idea," Mrs. Weasley announced loudly from her place at the stove."

George's eyebrows shot up. "Who are you and what have you done with my mother? You're glad that another one of your sons is considering wasting his life at this silly business, instead of a respectable job at the Ministry?"

"Well, if said Ministry job involves chasing after Death Eaters every day," huffed Mrs. Weasley, "Then I suppose my nerves will take any alternative."

She sent a stern look towards Harry and pointed a threatening spoon at him, making him jump back. "You could do well to learn from Ron in that regard, Harry."

Ron was grinning ear to ear, bouncing in his seat from being the favorite child of the moment.

"There's nothing wrong with Ron doing the responsible thing." she lowered her voice to a grumble so Harry barely heard, "at least someone is."

Harry surveyed the tense atmosphere in the room again.

"Okay, what's got everyone in such a mood?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"No one's in a mood!" said Mrs. Weasley quickly.

"Harry," Mr. Weasley spoke up for the first time, and his voice too was less assuring than Harry usually found it. "I'm having trouble with a fascinating new muggle device I've discovered, would you mind giving me a hand out in the shed?"

"Oh. Sure," said Harry easily. Mr. Weasley got up from the table and led Harry outside. They entered the man's infamous tool shed, and Harry noticed new mechanical and electronic devices in various states of disassembly. Mr. Weasley gestured to his work table, where a VCR sat.

"I've heard that muggles use this to see recorded images, like a pensieve, but I've put in those black blocks, and nothing happens."

"Oh, well," said Harry, trying not to laugh, "You need to attach it to a television. It can't just work on its—"

He was interrupted by the door opening again, and Harry was surprised to see Mrs. Weasley entering the shed which he always knew her to avoid, wanting nothing to do with her husband's "nonsense" tinkering.

"Molly, what are you doing here?" Mr. Weasley asked crossly, "We agreed we wouldn't. The boys—"

"I told them I was getting apples from the orchard," his wife said dismissively. She crossed the shed and looked beseechingly at a very surprised Harry.

"Harry, dear, you know how we think of you as a part of this family. We've been wanting to say….we hope that you don't think that has changed because of you and Ginny's relationship. We know young men have trepidation about 'the girlfriend's parents,' but you're not just our daughter's boyfriend to us, you're one of our own."

Harry was as touched as he was confused. "Th-Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," he said softly. "I can't tell you how much that means to me."

"And one reason we had no objection to you and Ginny dating," Mr. Weasley continued, "is that we trust you to always do right by Ginny. To always do what's best for her."

Harry looked back and forth between them, their expressions pointed and expecting.

"Well — ehem — I'll remember that. I promise to never do anything to hurt her." He meant it.

There was another moment of silence before Mrs. Weasley spoke up again.

"Sooooo…." she prompted. "We just want you to be aware that….should you decide to propose…you wouldn't have to worry—"

"What!?" Harry's heart leapt into his throat and he knew his face had turned scarlet. "Oh, no no," he said, putting his hands up. "I'm glad to have your blessing, but we're not ready to think about that yet."

Harry rubbed his neck nervously. It was only a half-lie. In truth, Harry was ready to think about that. He thought about proposing to Ginny damn near every day, in fact. But he was fairly certain that Ginny was still years away from being ready. She was fiercely proud of her independence and she was still dealing with the papers referring to her as "Harry Potter's girlfriend" before "star Harpies Chaser," even without marriage.

Mr. Weasley sighed in what seemed like disappointment and Mrs. Weasley's mouth thinned and her expression turned sour.

"Well...the roast should be done, we should all head back inside."

The Weasleys led the way out of the shed and Harry cautiously followed them. When they arrived back in the kitchen, Harry saw Bill shoot his father a stern, questioning look, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Mr. Weasley shake his head grimly, and Bill and Charlie gave Harry a glare that would make Mad-Eye Moody quake in his boots.

Harry froze and all the breath left his body. It suddenly all made sense. He was the thing that the Weasleys were so on edge about. Ginny's parents inquiring about him marrying her.

They had somehow found out that he and Ginny were living together.

Harry suddenly felt like a sheep in a cage with several wolves.

"Hey mum," said Charlie, "while you were outside, Aunt Muriel floo-called and said that the gnomes are in her attic again. Apparently she's upset at the way dad tried to take care of it last time."

"Is she sure it's actually the gnomes, or is it the doxies nesting in her hair?" Mr. Weasley grumbled as his wife shooed him into their sitting room and through their fireplace. Harry's heart was thudding in his chest as the few Weasleys he could count on to not murder him due to this secret getting out abandoned him with the curse breaker, dragon tamer, master prankster, and Ministry power-broker.

Several murderous eyes turned towards Harry.

"Look...er…" Harry stammered. "I really thought that, after everything, we had all moved past the whole 'overprotective big brothers' routine."

"Yeah, we thought we had too," said Charlie darkly, "but mum and dad's diplomatic approach clearly didn't work, so the gloves are off. I guess we never figured that the savior of the bloody wizarding world would do this to our sister."

George snorted, still finding this whole thing quite amusing. "Sorry, do this to her? Harry's the real victim here. Ginny's a nightmare already, can you imagine what living with her will be like now?"

"What the hell are you lot talking about?" Ron cut in, looking around the room in confusion.

"I think your brothers have become aware of me and Ginny's...status change," said Harry.

"Oh, that is just so typical!" huffed Hermione, crossing her arms and adopting her lecturing pose. "Ginny is perfectly capable of handling her own life and she doesn't need a bunch of chest-beating men to defend an outdated notion of her 'honour!' I still can't believe how sexist magical society can be sometimes."

"Yes, Hermione, our world is sexist, whether we like it or not" said Bill, not backing down. "You can pontificate all you want about how it's not right, or a double standard, but once the public finds out about this — and sooner or later, they will," he shot another glare at Harry, as if he wrote to the papers about it himself, "then it will change how people see her. And since she's a Quidditch star, the way people see her matters."

"Yup, can see the headlines now," George sighed dramatically, "the ambitious social climber Ginevra Weasley, raised in a pauper's home, so she used her feminine wiles to land herself this sweet gig."

"Look, ultimately, it's none of our business — no, I'm serious!" Ron finished in response to his brothers' looks of betrayal. "Look, Bill, Charlie, you two were only around when Ginny was a little girl. You didn't go to school with her. You never saw first-hand what happens when you try to meddle in her life to defend her virtue, trust me." He shivered a bit, as he remembered the traumatic memory.

"I don't even understand why we have to meddle," said Percy, "I just don't understand your logic, Harry. There's no question you would be willing to throw yourself into mortal danger all over again to protect Ginny. What you're hesitating to do is comparatively easy."

"His reasons don't matter, he should have thought of that earlier," said Charlie, pointing a threatening finger at Harry. "I don't care if this makes me a hypocrite, but you're going to do the right thing and—"

Ginny suddenly burst into the room, causing every word to fall silent. Harry knew that Ginny always hated it when people were obviously talking about her, but as he started towards her, he was surprised when he saw that her eyes were watery with tears. Ignoring all of the eyes on her, she ran straight towards Hermione, throwing her arms around her friend.

"Erm, is something wrong?" asked Hermione. She threw a questioning look to Fleur as she followed Ginny into the kitchen, but the young mother looked just as confused as anyone as she took Victoire back from Bill.

Instead of answering Hermione's question, Ginny withdrew from the hug and smacked Ron upside the head.

"Ah! What the shit!" Ron cried, rubbing the back of his head.

"Ronald, language!" scolded Mrs. Weasley, re-entering the kitchen along with her husband, making the room quite crowded.

"That's your main concern?" asked Ron, "Not the unwarranted physical assault?"

"It's not unwarranted, it's for being a stupid, forgetful git!" barked Ginny

She walked up to Harry and took his glass of firewhiskey, still mostly intact.

"I need this more than you," she informed him, and began to raise the glass to her lips.

"GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY!"

Mrs. Weasley's ear-piercing shriek caused everyone in the room to wince, and Ginny momentarily jumped behind Harry for protection. "Merlin's balls, WHAT!?"

"Molly…" Mr. Weasley cautioned.

"DO NOT 'MOLLY' ME, ARTHUR!" his wife shouted back. She had a crazed look in her eye and she was pulling at her hair. She rounded on Harry and Ginny.

"We have tried to be respectful, but you two are clearly not ready for this kind of responsibility! I am so disappointed in you both for not taking this more seriously! You haven't even given a thought to how this will affect your careers!"

"Our careers?" asked Harry, confused. "How would that possibly—"

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had gotten it completely wrong about what the Weasleys were talking about. The talk about responsibility, their careers, affects to Ginny's public image.

Somehow, the family had gotten word about the "honour" bestowed upon Harry by the Wizengamot, and all the implications that had for his and Ginny's future together. He supposed it wasn't too surprising that Arthur or Percy had heard about it through their Ministry connections.

He looked sideways at Ginny, and from one look he knew that she had come to the same realization. Both their faces split into wide grins as relief flooded through them that all of this drama was over something so silly. Apparently, the family somehow had the absurd idea that Harry would keep the title and actually take the status, power, and responsibilities being offered to him.

Harry and Ginny cracked up into delirious laughter, leaning on each other for support, which did nothing to help the livid look on Mrs. Weasley's face.

"Oh Merlin's beard, is that what has you all concerned? Don't worry about that," laughed Harry, waving one hand dismissively and wrapping the other around Ginny's shoulder.

"I mean, come on, we're obviously not keeping it!"

There was a moment of silence, then the entire kitchen exploded.

[isaacthedruid]

Please allow me to tell you about one of my favourite cartoons through this informal essay I did for school a couple of months back. 

Gravity Falls and How it Did The Unimaginable

**SPOILERS... KINDA**

The 2010s saw the creation of some of the most iconic animated tv shows ever made, the likes of Adventure Time (2010), Steven Universe (2013), Over the Garden Wall (2014) and The Legend of Korra (2012). To explain why this era’s shows are so admirable is honestly rather difficult. Yet, there are many factors that can be taken into consideration when looking for an answer.

The past decade was very successful in perfecting their craft and utilizing the animated format to their favour, creating some of the wackiest and fascinating cartoons ever made. With the advancements made in both 2D and 3D animation for film, this bled into the world of TV as well.

To mention that 2010s cartoons have stunning visuals would be an understatement. Everything about the animation was beautiful; the strong colour palettes, the clean and imaginative character designs, the colourful and immersive backgrounds and especially the mesmerizing worlds that can be found within episodes that are half an hour.

This era’s cartoons also led to a massive shift in storytelling, writing longer-running stories that spread out across seasons while also swapping out episodic adventures for serialization. This heavily aided in the popularization of these shows, due to the rise of internet fandoms and dropping the taboo that cartoons were only for kids. Many shows acknowledged their older viewers by leaving clues and even puzzles to be solved by the theorists who have a large appearance on social media platforms like Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr. As the shows progressed, their fandoms created many theories for what they believed might happen within their favourite series. The top three shows from this era all utilized these changes, being at the forefront of the shift and helping guide the creative vision of 2010s cartoons.

Often regarded as many people’s favourite cartoon, Gravity Falls presented one of the best mysteries of the decade with two seasons and only 40 episodes. Inspired by Twin Peaks and The X-Files, it’s considered as the kids’ version of these two iconic shows as this cartoon acts as many people’s first introduction to horror through bright colours and fun characters.

This series follows the adventures of Dipper and Mabel Pines, twins, who are sent to spend their summer with their great-uncle or Grunkle Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon. This town is full of oddities like supernatural creatures, insane and eccentric inhabitants, and many puzzles. The Pines twins must adjust to the weirdness while uncovering the mysteries and protecting their new town.

While living in Gravity Falls, the twins are forced to work in the Mystery Shack, a tourist trap created by their Grunkle Stan that overcharges unlucky tourists, teaching about fake monsters despite there being real creatures all over town. On his first day in Oregon, Dipper accidentally came across a mysterious journal written by an unknown author that explains all the oddities to be found in this strange town. This book acts like an encyclopedic of the Weird for Dipper, an inquisitive 12-year-old kid who seeks answers.

Dipper is an extremely intelligent kid, his brain being far more developed than his body. He’s rather awkward and self-conscious as he often stumbles over his words or gets embarrassed trying to talk to girls. Despite this, the boy is an adventurer at heart who just wants to grow up and skip his upcoming teenage years.

While Mabel is quite the opposite in many ways, she is loud and has an in-your-face personality. Mabel is bouncy and fun, she is so excited to start high school. She is easily excitable and for the larger part of the series, she is in her boy-crazy phase. Mabel is a girly-girl as she likes all things; glitter, unicorns, rainbows, partying and crafting. Yet, she doesn’t often compare well with many of the other girls in town, they see her as weird and “too much”.

(In all fairness through, it is not too kind to either of the characters as their personalities are more complex than just awkward nerd and artsy girl-girly.)

Dipper and Mabel’s personalities are very different but somehow, they—along with their Gravity Falls family—manage to solve mysteries and save the town, multiple times.

Gravity Falls is an honestly genius series that completely changed the way cartoons were made. Originally when writing a series, you’d create a base of your story; characters, the universe and a basic plot. Yet, when creator, Alex Hirsch (who was in his early/mid-20)s and his small team first began constructing their show, they planned out everything they could possibly think of for the first season. Additionally, outlining some answers for their biggest mysteries that would be answered at the end of the series.

Despite being rated TV-Y7, this series really pushed the boundaries of kids’ television. From the teeth being ripped out of a deer’s mouth by a demon, rearranging the functions of every hole on a man’s face to an aggressive pop-rock sock puppet show that ended in a dramatic slow-motion scene of the puppets burning. Gravity Falls wasn’t afraid to get a little weird or creepy. Or create some genuine nightmare fuel. 

From the beginning, Gravity Falls had built a mystery into its series, hiding secrets and clues all throughout the show. Most notably were the backwards-recorded message and cryptograms, using roughly nine different kinds, even creating two of their own.

The inclusion of cyphers and mysteries for fans to solve is possibly the reason why this series was so successful. As one of the first shows to do something like this, Gravity Falls used social media and internet fandoms to its advantage.

As mentioned earlier, cartoon fans have quite a presence on social media platforms like Twitter and Tumblr. They create theories and share fun ideas about their favourite shows. Viewers of Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe were all included in their share of theory fun.

Sometimes, fan theories end up being correct but when you’re Gravity Falls creator, Alex Hirsch, you don’t just watch from the sidelines as your viewers figure out the biggest mystery of your show. No, you create a hoax to get your viewers off your trail and that is what he did. Around 2013, only halfway through the first season of the show, viewers had started to follow the clues, theorizing who was the author is Dipper’s mysterious journal.

Unfortunately for the Gravity Falls production crew, the viewers were right— for the sake of readers who have never seen the show, I will not mention who the author was as it would be the biggest spoiler.

In 2013, a supposed leaked image of a tv showing a younger version of the show’s crazy old man character, Old Man McGucket, writing in the infamous journal was uploaded anonymously (by Alex Hirsch) to 4Chan.

Despite the image only being on up for a few hours, it spread like wildfire. Much to the team’s success, theorists stopped searching for the answer to “who is the author” and just accepted the image of McGucket as the truth.

To further push the fake-out, three words were posted to Alex’s Twitter, “fuming right now.”

The tweet was deleted a few minutes later and fans genuinely believed that someone from the Gravity Falls team had leaked the most important part of the story.

While doing research, I came across a Reddit post from April 10th, 2013, the day after ‘leak,’ Alex’s tweet was uploaded. In this post, user, TheoDW uploaded an image of Alex’s tweet with the caption, “It seems that Hirsch got mad at last night’s leak. He already deleted this tweet.”

Seeing the reactions of these Redditors in 2013 is kind of weird and crazy to look at. “He has every right to be upset. Someone internally released a plot revealing screen shot of series breaking spoiler information,” a deleted Reddit account commented.

“This is Alex Hirsch’s biggest success by far, he spent a huge amount of time carefully planning out the series, and then in a moment someone releases a major spoiler. It would make anyone upset,” the user, Time_Loop commented.

“Seriously, this is a nightmare for a storyteller, and shows a breach of trust. I feel so bad for him–honestly, I hope whoever did the leak gets caught and appropriate action is taken. You don’t f–k with someone’s story like this. It’s unprofessional.” the user, lonelybeloved angrily commented.

In 2014, this ‘leak’ was finally disproven when viewers were given an episode on McGucket’s backstory and an amazing tweet from Alex Hirsch. 

Alex had post an image of himself playfully pointing at a monitor with the supposed leaked picture with the caption, “1) Make hoax  2) Upload to 4Chan  3) Post angry tweet about "leak" 4) Delete tweet 5) Let internet do rest”

It is so interesting to look at these comments know that all of this was orchestrated by Alex.

I wish I had been old enough at the time to follow theories and fandom stuff like I do now with current cartoons but really looking at this from an outside perspective, this was insane!

The real author wasn’t revealed until 2015 and when viewers first got the answer to this biggest show on their screens, they must have freaked out!

Following the finale in 2016, a single frame of a stone version of Bill Cipher, the show’s villain, flashed in after the credits had finished.

Alex Hirsch and his team actually created a real-life statue of their villain for their viewers to find and on July 20th, 2016, the Cipher Hunt began.

By following clues, the Hunters found themselves all over the world; Russia, Japan and then travelling throughout the United States for the final 12 clues. When the hunt took them to Los Angeles, actor, Jason Ritter (voice of Dipper Pines, also a massive fan of the series) and Alex Hirsch’s twin sister, Ariel Hirsch (the inspiration for Mabel) joined in the fun helping the search.

Finally, the hunt ended on August 2nd when someone tweeted out an image of the found statue in Oregon, the same state in which the fictional town of Gravity Falls exists. The Cipher Hunt had ended but finding the statue wasn’t Alex’s goal for the scavenger hunt, it was about the journey and bringing together the viewers, more than having them actually find the statue.

Creating its own hoax, an international scavenger hunt and quite a bit of nightmare fuel, Gravity Falls was a show truly unlike any other.

The 2010s saw some of the strongest cartoons ever made, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe acting as the leaders for multiple different changes in the medium; storytelling, worldbuilding, interaction with viewers, utilizing social media, representation and further pushing music into the cartoon world. From what was created this past decade and what has already been released in 2020, I’m so excited to see what comes next.

I have another one of these which is on Steven Universe’s representation and music if you would like to see that too!! 

[foodbytesback]

The Rise and Fall of Bon Appetit

Sometimes life comes at you fast.  Sometimes, that means stories in the food industry break in such rapid succession that you have no time to blink in between.  Sometimes, it means someone found out about something racist you did a few years ago.  What happens when it’s both?  Ask the fine folks at Bon Appetit.

In recent years, Bon Appetit made a name for itself, rising from the ashes of dying print media, through its Youtube channel featuring a diverse cast of personalities.  But over the course of this past week, many of the publication’s executives have been found to foster a toxic workplace culture, rife with racism, sexism and homophobia.  

Before I get too deep (because this is going to be a long one), I feel the need to point out that while this story’s breaking happened to coincide with Black Lives Matter protests across the country and gained traction from people’s outrage towards inequality, the events that have unfolded should not be blamed on “cancel culture,” “political correctness run amok” or any other reactionary dismissal of critical thinking.  Adam Rapoport didn’t lose his job because Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter came to be because of the damage that many in positions of power like Rapoport have done in both mainstream media and society as a whole.

[Also, yes, there are going to be a lot of links to Instagram posts that have been screenshotted and uploaded to Twitter.  Clearly the real takeaway from this debacle is that I need to get an Instagram account.  Also also, thanks to Tumblr’s new rules about offsite links, you’ll have to go to my main site for the full receipts.]

Preamble

Shortly after the killing of George Floyd, Adam Rapoport, Editor-in-Chief at Bon Appetit, wrote an editorial highlighting some of the coverage they’ve given to black chefs.  Many criticized this as being superficial and performative, with others saying that BA has, on numerous occasions, shut down articles relating to black culture for not being “trendy” enough or otherwise was discriminatory towards black employees. (Also, the repeated use of “uprisings” instead of “protests” seems a little suspicious.)

An article from Eater criticized the role BA played in the appropriating and whitewashing of many cultures’ ingredients and cuisines (gochujang, Aleppo pepper, and sumac seem to be some of BA’s favorite ingredients) that had become prevalent in food media in recent years.

While it’s a fairly minor offense in comparison, it may also be worth bringing up the time Rapoport accidentally called Priya Krishna “Sohla,” the name of his other Indian employee.

Monday, June 8th

Food writer Tammie Teclemariam posted a screencap of an Instagram post made by Rapoport’s wife, which depicted the two of them donning Puerto Rican stereotypes as Halloween costumes, brownface and all.    

Many were quick to declare their outrage and demand that Rapoport either resign or be fired.  Meanwhile, Sohla El-Waylly, one of the leading stars of the Youtube channel, was one of the first BA employees to speak up, and disclosed that this kind of behavior was just the tip of the iceberg.  She said that BIPOC workers have been paid disproportionately for their work, including not being paid a per-video commission that the white stars of the Youtube channel receive. 

Molly Baz, one of the aforementioned white stars, announced that she would no longer make videos for BA until all of El-Waylly’s demands were met.  One by one, their white coworkers chimed in in agreement.  

Former staff photographer Alex Lau also wrote an extensive tweet thread about his experiences at BA, including how he had futilely tried to fix the system from within.

By the end of Monday, Adam Rapoport had resigned from his position as Editor-in-Chief.

Tuesday, June 9th  

Since Rapoport’s official resignation did little to fix many of the systemic problems in place at BA, many began to turn their attention to other senior members of the staff.

Some came for Andrew Knowlton, the Restaurant Editor, for behaviors such as gaslighting an employee for trying to bring up racist practices in the offices.

Others called out Matthew Duckor, a VP at Conde Nast and BA’s former “Head of Video” (Did a 3 year old come up with that job title?), for a series of old racist and homophobic tweets.  He tried to apologize by saying that he was young and didn’t know any better at the time, but many were quick to point out that he was, at the youngest, 20, aka for all intents and purposes An Adult when he wrote those tweets. 

Tammie Teclemariam returned to ask current and former BA employees to DM her information about Duckor that they didn’t want to go public with themselves, ranging from his hand in the aforementioned pay disparity to making inappropriate comments towards women.

Teclemariam also did even more social media muckraking and found that Drinks Editor Alex Delany had once decorated a cake to look like a Confederate flag, while others found things like a Vine where he says the f-slur and some questionable comments about women on this Tumblr.  He later deleted his Tumblr and Twitter, and issued a cookie-cutter apology on his Instagram.

She also vague-tweeted that Brad Leone, one of the most beloved stars of the Youtube channel, is “possibly not a great guy,” but later added, “don’t fret.” At that point, some began to accuse her of just trying to stir the pot.

Ultimately, Matt Hunziker, director and camera operator for Leone’s show, reported that the higher ups were ignoring the situation regarding the pay disparity, and that they were not “learning and growing.”

Wednesday, June 10th

By this point, journalists were able to do more thorough investigations and put together exposés that were more than a blurb about an accusation followed by a nut graph.

Business Insider published an article where they interviewed 14 current and former BIPOC employees of Bon Appetit.  In addition to information already discussed above, it also described events such as an incident where several BIPOC staffers were told they weren’t allowed the test kitchen. (Carla Lalli Music, the Food Director at the time, would later defend her stance in the affair on Twitter.)  Ryan Walker-Hartshorn, a black woman who served as Rapoport’s personal assistant, recalled that she would often spend her day doing menial tasks like polishing her boss’s golf clubs or trying to teach his wife how to use Google Calendar.  In another incident, Knolton called Rick Martinez a “one trick pony” for only developing Mexican recipes, which is what he was being forced to do so BA could tout “diversity” bonus points.  Martinez would also say that the magazine under Rapoport’s tenure “went from old and irrelevant and white-washed content to young and trendy white-washed content." (Martinez would also upload a more graphic description of the treatment he received  to his Instagram that same day.) Later that day, Business Insider would also report that Duckor had left the company.

Vice would liken Rapoport to Michael Scott from The Office, but noted that that kind of bumbling, endearingly insensitive bad boss archetype isn’t as charming in the real world where real employees are being affected.  Parallels were also drawn between the Youtube channel and The Office itself, stating that the “quirky workplace” facade put on in the videos helped hide the more sinister practices that lurked beneath the surface, and that the notion that they were “one big family” often pressured BIPOC into doing more than their fair share for the greater good.

Jezebel showed email transcripts where Rapoport argued the semantics of having his costume be called “brownface” when he wasn’t wearing makeup, and had to be explained to, like a child, that the term refers to the racist caricature and not the literal act of putting brown makeup on one’s face.  What a douche.

Bon Appetit published an official apology on their site, a whole two days after the controversy began.  Many believed that their empty promises of “learning from their mistakes” were a day late and a dollar short.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, former BA writer Alyse Whitney said that senior editor Andy Baraghani had, on several occasions, used his influence to undermine her efforts. Whether this had to do with racism, sexism, or just Andy being petty is up for debate, but still constitutes as unprofessional behavior to say the least.

Thursday, June 11th

As interest in the story seemed to wane for many in the industry, Claire Saffitz, arguably the face of the Youtube channel, released another statement on her Instagram.  She said that her relative silence was due to taking time to find the right words, and that the same-old promises to “learn and grow” that most had been giving felt empty and performative. Unlike many of her white coworkers, she directly apologized for being complicit in the toxic environment  and for not using her status to try to leverage even pay for her BIPOC coworkers.  

Another BA Youtube personality, Amiel Stanek, also released a statement in response to BA’s official press release, where he demanded Conde Nast to stop avoiding action by setting vague timelines for changes or making excuses for not giving BIPOC workers raises like “the money just isn’t there.”

Associate editor Christina Chaey also opened up about her experiences with being pushed into more and more videos to “diversify” them- all without compensation.  

Friday, June 12th

The biggest scandal of the day was that, as Teclemariam predicted, Brad Leone is possibly not a great guy.  A leaked screenshot of an Instagram DM showed him making callous, almost Trump-y comments regarding El-Waylly’s demand for better pay.  He also allegedly said that if Delany were to be fired (as of that day he had been sent on leave), he would quit.

Saturday, June 13th

The New York Times published an article suggesting that the issues prevalent in BA’s management may go all the way to the top of Conde Nast.  Highlights include Chief Executive Roger Lynch chastising the whistleblowers within the company for raising their concerns in such a public manner and an account of an incident where he gave his black assistant a guidebook on how to speak “proper” English.

The Sporkful released a special episode of their podcast containing interviews with several current and former BA BIPOC workers.  Nikita Richardson divulged that after she was laid off, a story she had already done all the leg work for was picked up and credited to Amanda Shapiro, a white staff writer who is now acting Editor-in-Chief in lieu of Rapoport.  Sohla El-Waylly confirmed that the self-congratulatory editorial Rapoport wrote in the wake of George Floyd’s death was the real beginning of the end, and that the racist photo was just the final straw.  She also described a company-wide Zoom meeting held after the photo began to be spread around where Rapoport issued a half-hearted apology, and began talking about how he would “fix the brand” before El-Waylly demanded he resigned.  Furthermore, she revealed that after her Instagram posts began circulating rapidly, Duckor had offered her a new contract with increased pay, but she is refusing to sign it until all BIPOC have received similar compensation.  She also said that she had a hand in the wishy-washy statement that BA had published on Wednesday, and said that it originally had taken much firmer stances on the issues but their PR office made them tone it down.  Also, she commented that Leone, for the most part, just seemed like she “genuinely think[s] [that he] just found out racism is real.”  Ultimately, she was glad that the story was getting as much coverage as it was, since it made her feel that her voice was finally being heard.

Sunday, June 14th

Baraghani released a statement on Instagram apologizing for his behavior, saying that trying to achieve his personal goals in BA’s toxic, competitive environment made him lose sight of solidarity with his fellow BIPOC.  

While that may seem like the end of the story for now, it’s important to note that, even with the resignation of two executives, nothing has truly been done to fix the systemic problems at hand.

[nikosheba]

The Mystery of the Vanishing Elf

First of all, this is not my meta; I’m posting this on behalf of Azh, who wrote it and wanted it on tumblr. (They did say I could take credit for bothering them to write it, and for helping kick around ideas, so I will :D)

Link to the meta on AO3

[all page numbers from the 2007 HarperCollins edition of The Children of Húrin, ISBN 978 0 00 724622 9]

Thanks to starlightwalking for beta-ing!

So I just finished reading the Children of Húrin—which, let’s be honest, I was mostly reading to get the expanded version of the Túrin and Beleg content.  So at first when I started reading the second half — after Beleg’s death — I figured the reason I was less drawn to the text was because, well, Beleg was dead and therefore was less present in the narrative.  After I’d finished the book and put it down, though, I realized it was a little more than that.  Beleg wasn’t just less present. He was completely absent. This is no exaggeration: between the last mention of Beleg’s name in Chapter IX (“The Death of Beleg”) and Túrin’s death, when Gurthang asks to forget the “blood of Beleg my master” there is a single mention of his name, and it’s only a passing description of Gurthang itself as “the Black Sword of Beleg” (pg. 237).

Túrin never says his name again.

What’s going on here?  This is, quite frankly, bizarre. The entire first half of the narrative pivots around the relationship between Túrin and Beleg.  Beleg is the one who finds Túrin when he’s just a child his mother is sending to Thingol in Doriath. Beleg is his friend when’s growing up on Doriath — one of two really mentioned, the other being Nellas — and when Túrin is grown and goes off to be with the marchwardens, “Beleg and Túrin were companions in every peril” (pg 86).  When Thingol and Mablung and everyone else are ready to assume the worst of Túrin, it’s Beleg who shows up with Nellas to tell them what really happened, and it’s notable that this means Beleg didn’t see what happened; he just implicitly trusted Túrin and was the only one to do so.  They care about each other a lot. There is a brief portion of time while Túrin is with the outlaws that they aren’t together (that’s a whole nother post in itself) but Beleg returns to Túrin on Amon Rudh, “in this way, Beleg came back to Túrin, yielding to his love against his wisdom.  Túrin was glad indeed, for he had often regretted his stubbornness; and now the desire of his heart was granted…it seemed to [the outlaws] there had been a tryst between Beleg and their caption.” (pg 139).  These boys are in love. It’s textual.  There’s only one other character Túrin is described as loving in a similar way, and it’s Níniel (Niënor), whom he marries.

In fact, it’s staggering that Níniel is the only other one (pg 218 “Turambar restrained himself no longer, but asked her in marriage”), because there is a very big elephant in the room, and it’s the person whom Níniel is occasionally compared to, Finduilas.  Finduilas is mentioned three times in the text after her death, including twice by Túrin himself in direct quotations:

- “Then Turambar who led the men started back and covered his eyes, and trembled; for it seemed that he saw the wraith of a slain maiden that lay on the grave of Finduilas.” (pg. 214, when Túrin first finds Níniel)

- "But even as he spoke, he wondered, and mused in his mind: 'Or can it be that one so evil and fell shuns the Crossings, even as the Orcs? Haudh-en-Elleth! Does Finduilas lie still between me and my doom?’” (pg. 229, when Túrin is preparing to fight Glaurung for the last time),

- “Therefore he arose and went to the Crossings of Teiglin, and as he passed by Haudh-en-Elleth he cried: 'Bitterly have I paid, O Finduilas! that ever I gave heed to the Dragon. Send me now counsel!’” (pg. 253, after he’s killed Brandir and is desperately trying to deny that Níniel was Niënor, his sister)

This is huge. And it’s huge, because Túrin is not in love with Finduilas. This, again, is explicit, and textual, "In truth Finduilas was torn in mind. For she honoured Gwindor and pitied him, and wished not to add one tear to his suffering; but against her will her love for Turin grew day by day, and she thought of Beren and Luthien. But Turin was not like Beren! He did not scorn her, and was glad in her company; yet she knew that he had no love of the kind she wished. His mind and heart were elsewhere, by rivers in springs long past.” (pg 166, ”Túrin in Nargothrond”). So.  Túrin never falls in love with Finduilas, and, in fact, the reason he doesn’t fall in love with her is that his “mind and heart are elsewhere”.  Hmmmm. I wonder where his heart is?

Okay, so then why is it that Túrin repeatedly refers to Finduilas but not to Beleg?  It’s really obvious based on the quotes I’ve given so far that he was in love with Beleg (and for god’s sake, the man doesn’t talk for a YEAR after Beleg’s death), that he was not in love with Finduilas, and that he was (or thought he was, at least) in love with Níniel, enough to ask her to marry him.  So where the hell is Beleg in his thoughts for all this time when he’s falling for Níniel and thinking back to Finduilas?

For the answer to this, we need to consider the dual nature of Níniel’s relationship to Túrin, and what its source is.

Yes, Túrin loves Níniel, as his wife, but we know he also loved his sister Niënor, as a sister, and part of the reason he kills himself is that he can’t handle that he’s driven his sister to her death via incest (albeit accidental incest).  It’s notable that Túrin loves Finduilas as a sister,

“Then Turin spoke freely to [Finduilas] concerning these things, though he did not name the land of his birth, nor any of his kindred; and on a time he said to her: 'I had a sister, Lalaith, or so I named her; and of her you put me in mind. But Lalaith was a child, a yellow flower in the green grass of spring; and had she lived she would now, maybe, have become dimmed with grief. But you are queenly, and as a golden tree; I would I had a sister so fair.’” (pg. 164, “Túrin in Nargothrond”.)

So these references to Finduilas make a narrative kind of sense — in addition to it mostly happening as Túrin is passing her grave, it’s a textual reminder of a hidden truth: Níniel is not just Túrin’s lover, but also his sister.  He even finds her upon the grave of someone he loved as a sister.  But there’s another truth hidden in the text as well, and it’s related to Níniel’s nature as Túrin’s lover.  Because let’s be real, if he found her on the grave of someone he loved very firmly in a non-romantic way, why does he become romantically interested in her?  She’s his sister—obviously he doesn’t know that, but the narrative is saying it very, very clearly.  Well…there’s a confounding factor.

Here’s how Túrin finds Níniel (pg. 214): “Now it chanced that some of the woodmen of Brethil came by in that hour from a foray against Orcs, hastening over the Crossings of Teiglin to a shelter that was near; and there came a great flash of lightning, so that the Haudh-en-Elleth was lit as with a white flame.”

And here is how Túrin discovers that he has killed Beleg (pg. 155): “But as he stood, finding himself free, and ready to sell his life dearly against imagined foes, there came a great flash of lightning above them, and in its light he looked down on Beleg's face.”

The narrative does draw a parallel between Níniel and Beleg, an extremely strong (if subtle) one.  It uses literally the same phrase to set up the scene: “there came a great flash of lightning”.  So there’s a pretty clear answer as to why Túrin might associate Níniel with romantic love—he doesn’t just find her on his as-it-were sister’s grave, he finds her in a way that hearkens strongly back to the last time he ever saw his lover’s face.

So why doesn’t he think of Beleg now?

Why is the thought of his lover—whose loss cut him so deeply he didn’t speak for a year—so far out of his mind at this moment that his name isn’t even mentioned, even when narratively there’s no way he shouldn’t think of him?

Okay, I’ve drawn this out enough, so let’s cut to the chase: Glaurung. Glaurung, who is responsible for the first hidden truth that I mentioned, the more textually explicit one, that Níniel is Niënor, Túrin’s sister.  He bespells Niënor upon Amon Ethir, “Then he drew her eyes into his, and her will swooned. And it seemed to her that the sun sickened and all became dim about her; and slowly a great darkness drew down on her and in that darkness there was emptiness; she knew nothing, and heard nothing, and remembered nothing,” (pg 209, “The Journey of Morwen and Niënor”) causing her to lose her memories and with her memories her name and therefore any way for Túrin to know who she is.  Glaurung earlier bespells Túrin as well, “Without fear Turin looked in those eyes as he raised up his sword; and straightway he fell under the dreadful spell of the dragon, and was as one turned to stone.” (pg. 178, “the Fall of Nargothrond”)  The first, obvious result of Glaurung’s spell (and the only explicit one) is that he leaves Finduilas and rushes off to try and find Morwen and Niënor.  Now, we’re meant to believe that this is all that the spell does, since in “The Return of Túrin to Dor-Lómin”, pg. 166, the text notes, “And suddenly a black wrath shook him; for his eyes were opened, and the spell of Glaurung loosed its last threads, and he knew the lies with which he had been cheated.”

But I don’t think this makes sense.  I think Tolkien is being poetical here and the “last threads” he’s talking about are specifically the lies about Finduilas.  A number of Túrin’s conversations with Níniel point towards the fact that he’s forgotten something really important and that in that regard the dragon’s spell is still intact.  For example, when Túrin tells Níniel what to call him (pgs 217-218, “Niënor in Brethil”):

“Then she paused as if listening for some echo; but she said: 'And what does that say, or is it just the name for you alone?'

“’It means,' said he, 'Master of the Dark Shadow. For I also, Niniel, had my darkness, in which dear things were lost; but now I have overcome it, I deem.’”

“My darkness” is eerily similar to the repeated motif of Níniel’s darkness, which explicitly refers to the spell cast on her by Glaurung.  

“Behind her lay only an empty darkness” (pg 213, “Niënor in Brethil”); “it seem to her that the darkness that lay behind her was overtaking her again” (pg 214, “Niënor in Brethil”); “it seemed to her that she had found at last something that she had sought in the darkness” (pg. 215, “Niënor in Brethil”); and the two most relevant quotations, “And at that name she looked up, and she shook her head, but said: 'Níniel.' And that was the first word that she spoke after her darkness, and it was her name among the woodmen ever after” (pg 216, ”Niënor in Brethil”); and “when at length she had learned enough to speak with her friends she would say: 'What is the name of this thing? For in my darkness I lost it.’” (pg. 217, “Niënor in Brethil”)

So here it is: Túrin has lost “dear things” in “his darkness” (Glaurung’s spell) and he thinks that Níniel is what he has lost, but she isn’t—or she isn’t the only thing that’s missing. Glaurung has ripped out of Túrin’s mind the memory of the only person he’s ever had romantic feelings for—Beleg—and because he’s confused and trying to find something to fill that gap, Níniel gets cast in a dual role—not just sister (with her ties to Finduilas) but also lover (with her subtler ties to poor, missing Beleg).  

This theory also has significant implications for Túrin’s death, since that’s the only time that Beleg is mentioned again, apart from a tangential sidenote.  When Mablung finally confirms to Túrin what he’s already beginning to fear is the truth, that Níniel was his sister Niënor, he runs up to the Cabed-en-Aras, from which Níniel has thrown herself, and he asks his sword to kill him. His sword is Gurthang, which was Anglachel, made by Eöl, the sword that Thingol gave to Beleg and that Túrin used to accidentally kill him, and the response is somewhat unexpected, since up till now we haven’t had any indication that it’s a talking sword,

“‘And from the blade rang a cold voice in answer: 'Yes, I will drink your blood, that I may forget the blood of Beleg my master…I will slay you swiftly.’” (pg. 256, “The Death of Túrin”)

Interestingly, this is after the sword has been reforged, and there’s no particular reason it should refer to Beleg as its master — after all, Túrin has been wielding it for years, and it was made by someone else entirely.  So then, why?  And why does it ask to forget his blood in particular?

Because Túrin has remembered, finally.  Whether the sword is picking up on the mood, whether it’s a narrative device, or whether it isn’t even really talking and it’s just Túrin’s mind playing tricks on him in his last extremis, I don’t know—though I favor the latter interpretation, particularly because Túrin himself is referred to as “the Black Sword” on numerous occasions.  But the important point here is Túrin has remembered, because Glaurung is dead, and his memory spells die with him, “Then Nienor sat as one stunned, but Glaurung died; and with his death the veil of his malice fell from her, and all her memory grew clearer before her, from day unto day, neither did she forget any of those things that had befallen her since she lay on Haudh-en-Elleth.” (pg. 243, “The Death of Glaurung”)

So Túrin knows by now exactly what he’s done—not only inadvertently marrying his sister but betraying the one great romantic love of his life.  The one he has probably just remembered accidentally killing in great detail.  It’s probably quite present in his mind when, rather than throw himself over the waterfall as Níniel did, he flings himself onto the very same sword that killed the only person he was ever in love with, whose name he has finally, finally been able to bring to mind…

In sum, Glaurung erases Beleg’s memory so thoroughly from Túrin’s mind that only tiny, hidden glimpses remain, even in the text.  This is the solution to the mystery of the vanishing Elf; it explains why Beleg vanishes right up until the very end, and it ties together the sense I had when I was reading the second half of something missing, something hidden, something incomplete.  It is, I imagine, the same way Túrin must have felt after he awoke—as he thought, completely—from the spell that Glaurung laid upon him the first time they fought.

[A/N: I also wrote a fic based on this premise: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980519 ]

[anzcty]

Analysing Episode 6 Sylvie - her actions, her choice and a whole bunch of theories (Spoilers!)

After watching the Loki finale, I have been scrolling through Tumblr for quite a long time. I already knew that people's opinions were gonna be incredibly different but I definitely did not expect this much negative backlash. Especially when it comes to two specific topics - the Sylvie and Loki kiss and Sylvie's betrayal (/choice/actions). I'm gonna be talking about the latter, for it is another time I'll talk a lot about Sylki's relationship. (Beware that this post is also really long though)

First of all, everyone has different opinions and I respect that. I absolutely adore movies, books, TV-shows and videogames because despite what's happening within the story, each viewer has the opportunity to see something else in what they are shown (besides the obvious canon). What I mean is that everyone interprets certain scenes differently and gains the opportunity to make up theories. Therefore I want to clarify that I do, by no means, want to force my views upon others. It's nice to see people talk about the Loki Series (as long as it doesn't get too negative and hateful, iykwim) because every viewer can share their specific experiences with it :)

I'm gonna analyse Sylvie's character a bit ( because, well, I'm bored and I kinda wanna protect my beloved character that I've only had for a few weeks >:^0 AND the only thing I could think about the past day was this episode) and try to explain her actions in the finale (keep in mind: not justifying them, but explaining them).

I'm terribly bad at concentrating on one single topic point so I kinda made a 'list' with questions and whatnot that I wanted to dive deeper into. Your thoughts are also more than welcome!

I already want to apologise for grammatical mistakes, for I am not a native english speaker.

Sylvie's reason for being taken away by the TVA is still kinda unknown

You know, I've heard quite a few theories about Sylvie's nexus event by now. Some people say that she got taken away because she was playing with her toys in a way that indicates her having a good heart (playing as a Valkyrie and wanting to save someone, another hint may also be the reaction she showed towards someone else who got kidnapped by the TVA, yelling at the soldiers to "help them out"). Another theory is that she already knew she was adopted, unlike Loki who found out way later than her. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but we never got to hear the actual reason why Sylvie got kidnapped. Even Renslayer didn't say a word about it.

Now I'm gonna come up with yet another theory. What if Sylvie didn't really have a nexus event in the first place how we know it? In the final episode, Kang has said that he has planned out everything beforehand so both Loki and Sylvie would end up right in front of him. Did Kang's plan also possibly involve him getting killed by Sylvie? Hear me out: We don't actually know if the Kang we saw in episode 6 is the actual 'nice' Kang and not one of his evil variants. He has already talked about 'reincarnation', so who says that after ending the first universial war, Kang didn't reincarnate into someone with an unpure heart (aka, one of his evil variants)? That'd mean that the real Kang would have been killed and the Kang we've seen in the finale is actually an evil version that simply lied to both Loki and Sylvie. Besides that, we also don't know if Kang actually had that 'point' where he didn't know what would happen next. The show revolves a whole lot around trust, not only regarding the characters, but also the viewers. Who's to say that Kang said the truth? Maybe he planned it all out: He created the TVA, let Sylvie get kidnapped and therefore give her a reason to hunt after Kang, who in return could reincarnate if he got killed OR get killed and therefore give his other variants a possibility to conquer the universes yet again. Don't you think that it was kinda suspicious that Sylvie escaped so easily out of Renslayer's hands? The one person who's probably closest to Kang? (Even though, yes, she doesn't know who he is but Renslayer seems to play a very important role in his plan). What if the Kang we saw was the nice Kang though? Would he plan everything up to a point where another universial war would break out because he might know that there is indeed something/someone out there who could end it and therefore, possibly end Kang as a whole or create a new kind of system revolving around the universe? And therefore, get rid of the possibility of another universial war happening? Who knows. I am definitely overthinking and reaching at this point. One more thing that stood out to me while thinking about the episode again today (which kinda weighs more into my theory of Sylvie being a keypoint (or rather a puppet) in this plan): Kang has talked about his Tempad and that he knew that he would need it to have enough energy. But for what? Yes, his initial idea was to give it to Loki and Sylvie to rule over the TVA, but what if it was supposed to be used for another reason? Sylvie used it to transport Loki back to the TVA (though I kinda think he was accidentally transported to another timeline, hence the reactions of both Mobius and Hunter B-15) and therefore get rid of the only thing that could prevent Sylvie from killing Kang. The Tempad was used to secure Sylvie's path and therefore eradicated Kang's only option of safety. You can see the Tempad loosing it's glow after Kang was killed, possibly due to Kang himself being the origin of it's energy. But maybe, it only had enough energy for one specific action: getting rid of Kang's protection. I do think that Sylvie is now stuck at this place and somehow has to find a way back to Loki's reality. The Tempad clearly doesn't work anymore (at least in my opinion) and there was quite a long shot showing the Tempad up close, which is kinda suspicious tbh. Also, something regarding Sylvie's unanswered nexus event feels kinda odd to me, too.

My theory in conclusion: Sylvie (and Loki) are unconciously helping Kang with his plan (a big, big, BIG plan). They're his puppets, especially Sylvie, because she's the one who created the Multiverse to begin with. Think about Loki, who was said to be manipulated by Thanos in Avengers? It's basically the same train of thoughts.

Sylvie does not take Kang's offer into consideration

To be honest, this was something to be absolutely expected of her. Sylvie was kidnapped as a child, taken away from her home and family, and had to grow up in countless apocalypses where she could never form a real bond with anybody because she knew that those people were all going to die anyway. (Please don't judge me if I got that wrong, maybe I understood the next thing wrong? Idk, if so, I'm very sorry) She revealed that she was kidnapped way before Loki was even born (something I have to think about, too, because, if Loki is the actual Loki the other variants are based off, why did he exist after Sylvie? Wouldn't that make him a variant of Sylvie instead? Idk timelines and parallel universes are hard to understand for me :') I'm kinda stoopid ), therefore she must've had spent several decades of her life running away. She had no life at all. Her only goal was to bring down the TVA and whoever is behind it, driven by pure rage, seeking out revenge for stealing her life and basically forbidding her existence. And now that she has found said person, the only thing that'd be right for her character would be to go for the kill. As immoral as it may sound, it is the only thing that makes sense. And I am actually very happy that Sylvie's goals didn't change besides the fact that she did indeed soften up a little and has gotten someone really close to her. In contrary, it makes sense for Loki to do the exact opposite. His goals have changed. He does not act the way he did in Thor or Avengers anymore. He has found another goal for himself: to make Sylvie feel alright. He has had immense character growth and didn't take a chance to change his goals back in the Thor movies or in Avengers, (....maybe later in Thor: Ragnarok, kinda). This is exactly what I think might happen to Sylvie, too. She is at the beginning of her character arc. She doesn't take the chance to change her goal, but goes for her original goal instead. Said goal does not really have positive consequences (though, maybe it might have some? We're about to find out), which results in a so called 'negative character development', which Loki has already gone through. I think that Sylvie is gonna grow as a character in season 2 and get a positive character development in addition, just like Loki did. I highly doubt that she's gonna become the antagonist, it does not make sense at this point.

Why does she not take Kang's offer (besides her very obvious intention ofc)? That leads straight (or not so straight, pun intended) to the next thing I wanna talk about. Sylvie's distrust in everything and everyone. Besides not wanting to let other people go through what she has been gone through and wanting to let people have a free will, she also does not trust Kang with his offer of 'ruling' the timeline. And it might be because she also does not trust the one she'd be ruling with: Loki.

Why does Sylvie not trust Loki?

I don't even have a specific answer to that, except that Sylvie has an incredibly thick wall built up around her. Loki has always been portrayed as the one you should not trust because he's known for backstabbing people. Loki could have thought the same about Sylvie, but he didn't. Due to his character arc, he himself has learned to trust other people and tries to redeem himself with making himself a person others can trust (He may project that onto Sylvie, meaning that he puts his trust into a Loki variant and therefore in himself, too). You can connect that fact with both Sylvie and Mobius. They're both people who are incredibly important to Loki. He wants them to trust him. He openly told Sylvie about his mistakes and tells her that he's not that person anymore. Sylvie on the other hand does not trust that easily and is - in my opinion - a very important key regarding Loki's character development. It is incredibly hard for Sylvie to trust others (probably due to her trauma) and it therefore creates a very difficult situation for Loki, where he has to 'prove' himself as trustworthy. It's basically about 'trusting yourself' if you put it that way. It's something Loki has to learn about himself: not betraying the trust of others. Sylvie might have to learn something like this, too: learning to trust someone else. It's kinda like a two sided coin - one side is about putting trust in others, whereas the other is about gaining trust from others (and what you do with it). (Good) Relationships in general are always based off trust and honesty. So in order for them to be able to have healthy relationships with others and themselves, they have to learn about trust within themselves (I hope you understand my point, I got carried away, sorry). Loki started to trust Sylvie very easily (maybe because of love? Maybe because of something else? There are still a lot of unanswered questions) whereas Sylvie doesn't trust Loki very easily. Sylvie's character arc might (hopefully) carry on with this topic in the next season.

Was that kiss initiated due to emotional or practical reasons?

Kinda both, somehow. I do think that Sylvie used the kiss to her advantage but you can also clearly see how moved she is while hearing Loki's words. Facial expressions are insanely important when it comes to acting and both Tom and Sophia delivered perfectly. You might've already heard of the quote "The eyes tell more than words could ever say". Look at Sylvie's face when Loki tells her that he wants her to be okay. She is teary eyed, sighs even. She is indeed touched by his words and I strongly think that Sylvie also has non-platonic feelings for Loki, despite barely showing anything.

Here's a snippet out of an interview with Sophia:

(Source)

Both Sylvie and Loki are said to be people who can not trust others. They both have a vulnerable side though. Loki clearly showed that several times when with Sylvie (singing to her, the blanket scene, the comfort scene in the room of the timekeepers, the confession of wanting her to be okay) and is also shown incredibly vulnerable at the end of episode 6: there are several shots showing him, crying. Sure, we have already seen Loki cry a few times beforehand but this time, it's different. He cries because the one person he is the most vulnerable with doesn't trust him, and that does hurt like hell. By the way, if you look at the close-up shot of Sylvie after she yeeted Loki back into the TVA, you can see pain in her eyes, too. But that pain quickly shifts into rage and determination. Something that I have to admit was incredibly well executed by Sophia and the people who directed this shot. Sylvie does show her vulnerable side for a brief moment before putting up her walls again and reaching for her goal.

In conclusion: I think Sylvie initiated the kiss as an emotional response to Loki's words but also used it to distract him to be able to kick him back into the TVA at the same time. Keep in mind that it was because he was in her way of fullfilling her goal. She didn't want to kill or hurt him, so she sent him away instead. So, yes, I think the kiss had both emotional and practical intentions.

Did Sylvie betray Loki?

Even though it really felt like she betrayed him, she didn't. Let me tell you why:

Loki knew exactly what Sylvie was gonna do after reaching the person behind the TVA. Loki supported her all the way up until Kang suggested a deal to them, that's where Loki's and Sylvie's paths divided. Loki is a very smart character, he outsmarts a lot of Marvel characters and therefore I think it's very in character for him to consider one part of the deal and outweigh the pros and cons. Not because he wants the throne, no, but because he wants Sylvie to be okay. A universial war could lead to countless casualties - possibly those people close around him, so of course he would want to keep her safe through that decision. Making them both rulers over the TVA and the sacred timeline would probably guarantee a strong protection from several threats. Also, maybe he thought about the possibility of Sylvie regretting her decision (which she clearly did in the end) and wanted to protect her from even more emotional pain. But as we know, Sylvie's intention has always been laid out in front of her and it didn't change. Loki knew what choice she was going to make and merely tried to change her way - without being successfull.

I don't really know what to think about this scene though. To me, it doesn't meet the requirements of a 'betrayal' but at the same time it does feel like one. It's very difficult to explain :'D

Also, I've seen some people asking themselves how or if Loki will ever be able to forgive Sylvie for making her decision. Let me assure you one thing: he will forgive her. He has said it himself: "I know what you're feeling, I know what you're going through". He has been at Sylvie's point, too. Not only once, but several times already. He seems to have learned from his mistakes, Sylvie has yet to do so. ("I betrayed everyone I've ever loved" is a line to keep in mind now, too. Maybe it could even be projected onto Sylvie this time, because Loki is indeed very dear to her) If there's someone out there who can empathise with Sylvie the most, it is Loki.

Why would Sylvie straight up cause another Universial War?

As I already said. Sylvie's arc is a negative character arc. It does not end well and causes a lot of chaos. Think about Peter Quill in Infinity War and his rage moment on Titan. They could have had the infinity gauntlet way before but Peter got emotional (understandable) and therefore destroyed the chance of an early good ending. The same happened with Sylvie. Her decision was mostly emotional, but also practical on the other hand (giving people free will and freedom). She will face the consequences and I'm pretty sure she's gonna redeem herself and tries to help fix the big mess she has caused.

Sylvie's breakdown

Another scene that was absolutely brilliant was the scene after Sylvie has killed Kang. She backs off slowly and then slumps to the ground, breathing heavily (now that I think about it, I think she even started to cry). She has waited for this moment her whole life, but now that it's done, it kinda feels like she didn't exactly get what she needed. Hunter B-15 has already mentioned it before that Sylvie needs to hunt the person behind the TVA down, unlike Renslayer, who only wants to find out who it really is. Although Sylvie might have recognized that this wasn't everything she needed at this point. We already got to know that she didn't have a clue what to do after she's done with the TVA. She didn't have a goal beyond that. And now that she has reached the point where she is clueless, she might have recognized what she really needed beyond finishing her goal: friends, a life, literally anything that doesn't make her feel alone. And she literally just kicked that one thing away from her. Loki, the one person who has been closest to her and gave her the feeling of not being alone anymore, the feeling of having a friend (or someone more than a friend), has been pushed away by herself. I think that in this exact moment where she sinks to the ground she recognizes that not trusting Loki was a mistake this time and that revenge isn't enough to satisfy her forever.

But maybe that one thing that will satisfy her for a long time is something she's returning back to in season 2. I am so excited to see her again and find out more about Sylvie's character!

Thank you so much for reading this! If you want to add something to this list or correct something or anything, feel free to do so. I'd love to hear your thoughts on Sylvie's character in the finale and what you think might happen with her in season 2 :) see y'all, stay safe and have a nice day/night!

[evanescentdawn]

WOW this got much longer than expected, and basically a full-blown fic idea that I desperately want now

(might add more to this since it doesn’t hold all of my thoughts yet and I’m nowhere finished it)

the idea is: ritsu accidentally confesses to teru when he didn’t even want to confess. he doesn’t like teru at all. but of course, teru hears nothing of that. he completely misunderstands, and thinks that ritsu is in love with him.

things escalate.

they do end up falling in love, in the end, though. <3

ft. one-sided terumob and Other Ideas

this manhwa summary/plot hit me out of nowhere, like I just recalled and went, oh my god, this would be the perfect idea for riteru

imagining Ritsu that accidentally confesses to teru. it’s completely by accident, and because a series of events that too complicated to explain. the problem is that now teru is convinced that Ritsu likes him, and nothing that Ritsu says will see as anything but that

“oh, brother-kun. I never knew.” teru says, with a bright smile. “is that how you act with your crushes? where you just shy all the time.... I almost got the wrong time”

this is all going to fast for ritsu to swallow. too fast for to ritsu to deal with. he’s still stuck in the moment where his own mouth betrayed him. “no...” he manages to get out, but it’s all already to late.

every time that ritsu tries to object, teru is going to think that he’s been shy and embarassed which is horribly not true. he hates that teru thinks is, doesn’t want teru to ever think that. the idea of him in — in —

just thinking of it, repulses him.

he tries his everything to correct this misunderstanding. (he fails)

omg, I just remembered! I was thinking about my other wip, where teru does misunderstand about Ritsu asking him out on a date or smth and then, while I was thinking about I was like... what if it was a confession? and then I recalled that manhwa

anyways! oh my god this would definitely get to mob at one point. but first all, thinking about Teru’s thoughts regarding all of this

he’s like of course, little brother-kun likes me. I’m me. but unfortunately for him, teru is already in love with someone else. mob. well. I was thinking that teru doesn’t like ritsu back, but teru being in love with his mob instead also sounds fun

teru looking at him with a pitying look, teru agreeing to week-date and giving Ritsu some of his time to deal with all this. Ritsu being baffled at all. like who the hell...

and just dislikes teru more, because the ego and the audacity he has... just what. the fuck.

Ritsu has never said anything, teru is just running with this and Ritsu is aware of how he likes his brother, so he tries to use that to get out of this whole mess. “but what about—”

teru hasn’t realised that his love for mob was that obvious and goes, oh, and acts all more pitying towards ritsu and is like Ritsu is all heartbroken about his. and going this is all makes sense now. ritsu likes him, and that’s why he tried to intervene with his precious time with mob. it’s all very understandable now.

it’s not understandable.

ritsu does not like him

ritsu is not heartbroken

teru is missing all the points. he just hated teru presence there, and wanted to be the one to spend with his brother then. and he hated how disgustingly shameless teru was around shigeo.

but of course, ritsu doesn’t get time to explain. he doesn’t get time to do anything. he has to go home, wondering, how did fuck this happen, why teru. blames on the elder woman who was there and had to speak then, and interrupt him him at that time, and blames reigen because actually this was all his fault. he wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. teru wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. the elder woman wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t him. clearly, the fault of mis-timing and him tripping of his words all falls on reigen.

he goes home, dark-faced and clutching the handle of his school bag, with a more deep distaste of reigen

oblivious to all that was occurring, and because of his simple act of telling mob something, reigen feels a ice-cold shudder at the back of his neck.

(perhaps, he just got cursed)

ritsu goes home, exhausted by everything, and sees mob there. sitting and looking happy, and expectant when he sees mob.

after a moment, ritsu asks his usual question of, how did your day go?

mob excitedly tells him how he managed to do this thing in the body improvement club which would seem like a trival thing to any person. but ritsu knows about his brother and his struggles and how this is a improvement. also yeah, I did say that mob says it excitedly but felt like I need to express how it sounds monotone and like it’s anything but exciteding and you weren’t someone that knew him you wouldn’t see how obviously exciting he is

at least one of them had a good day. “that’s good. that’s an amazing achievement, brother.”

mob beams.

ritsu feels worse at the fact that he can’t put more enthusiasm at that and hates teru even more, and reigen, and this whole situation

he goes to sleep.

he has a undisturbed sleep to the degree that when he wakes the next time, he can ALMOST delude himself that nothing. absolutely nothing happened.

teru appearing that morning disturbs it. he had forgotten about teru uninvited morning drop-ins despite how he doesn’t live in the same school as them and his house isn’t close to them

(oh my god, this just reminded me of haru. and now I’m thinking about a mp100 khr au which AAAAA would be so good.)

teru is the same as every morning. he’s dressed and dazzling with his bright yellow aura, way to early in the morning, and up in shigeo’s presence as his brother tries to go about his morning routine of getting ready for school.

just got struck by the image of: mob, sleepy, and brushing his teeth in the bathroom while teru stands in there with him and talks about stuff and admires himself in the mirror. it would be so perfect

ritsu is annoyed by his whole existence. he busies himself with getting though, and spends him lowkey (highkey this is ritsu after all) in awful anticipation of whatever teru is going to say about the confession

no, no, no, Hold on wait. ritsu WOULDNT busing himself with getting ready. he would be doing anything but that. he wouldn’t be able to relax and get ready in the house, when teru is here and everything unknown. and especially when teru is here and he talks a lot.... and might say something to his brother...

yeah, no, ritsu is taking no chances. he’s up in teru’s presence and trying to take him from his brother, and just making sure that he doesn’t say something.

.........which of course oh my god horribly makes this misunderstanding even worse

(will teru even learn that it’s misunderstanding? is it more better for him to never know. so what if it was based on a lie? ritsu will fall for him anyways.)

before this, I was thinking that teru doesn’t say anything and ritsu is almost able to relax when he gets a call, and then, a date dropped on him. because of course, having the tense/anticipation built up while teru is the same as always and acting like he doesn’t know anything, until the moment that they are saying goodbye and mob is out of the frame —

doesn’t even GIVE time for ritsu to be aware of anything, or be prepared, when he turns to him after saying goodbye to mob, and with a smile, “

did I say a call before? well. not a call anymore. it’s said in person, with a wink, and a smile. “gonna collect you after school”

ritsu is left........ idk actually. how would he act after that?? how does ONE act after that??? after the

wait, oh my god. yes, teru would definitely also drop in the fact that ritsu focusing on him all that time, and how did he never knew.... telling ritsu how his actions helped to grow this misunderstandings

it would be PERFECT

jeez. this is getting really long and totally a full blown fic idea. do I stop here and do little time stamps? or do I continue.

im continuing.

ritsu wishing that teru doesn’t appear. ritsu technically having no school, shit I forgot. what club is in again? whatever that school thing is. yeah, that. having no meeting or anything to do there there, but ritsu trying to find something to do. only to delay the time.

but, undisturbed by ever, standing in all his dazzlingly glory, teru is waiting for him there while he’s in conversation with others

in contract, ritsu looks weary and time and wishing to be nowhere but here. and wishing that he didn’t take those extra duties, because it was tedious and trying and the fact that teru is here and is still waiting after that....

teru directs a bright smile to ritsu when he notices him, that ritsu has to slightly squint at,

oh my god. that just remembered me of that tumblr post that goes on about “zy was like the sun” descriptions and how they would be squinting or smth. and that’s definitely teru and Ritsu. oh my god, I need to write that scrne

anyways, back to the story. I don’t think that they would go on a date this time around. maybe, something had happen. I was thinking along the lines that teru wasn’t here because of ritsu, but because of mob and plans they had but that went to poof that morning because of reigen or smth. after all, ritsu is the one who likes teru and teru isnt.

actually. maybe that doesn’t happen this scene but I WOULD LOVE a moment where ritsu misunderstands and teru immediately corrects about that, like how he wasn’t here for him or that he wasn’t waiting for him or smth. and that his life/thoughts doesn’t resolve him (implying that Ritsu’s does resolve teru) and honestly, he should know, that this whole setup is because ritsu is the one with the feelings and teru is here and being a good person and indulging him out of pityness

ritsu seethes. none of that is right. and he hates teru’s condescending attitude. like the AUDACITY of this man. (he’s also very, very embarrassed about his mistake which I imagine would him make go the mile in never mistaking teru’s actions; which wouldn’t in favour for teru when he does fall for ritsu and his actions become more genuine in the nature that it’s for love but ritsu has that iron wall up)

so like, going back, where was I? yes, them walking home because there’s enough time for date. that works better for this situation. mmh, but I was thinking about whether teru would be waiting that long for him. or maybe, because he said so and so he did wait. or maybe, that teru has some other plan now and doesn’t have time for that date or smth

either way, ritsu is glad. ritsu is happy. ritsu is very relieved that

(oh no, another fic idea. from that meme(TM) where teru falls the downstairs, and reigen asks why ritsu is happy, because he never is in reigen’s presence and shou goes; teru fell the downstairs. and now I’m thinking about how the fuck did teru fall the downstairs. properly because of mob. definitely because of mob. and ritsu love for his brother and resolve that his brother is the best person grow because of this)

anyways back to what I was saying. ritsu is relived that he did that club activity thing.

what he isn’t happy about that teru is here, and still walking him home. doesn’t he have better stuff to...? and then, at time, teru asks him when he fell for him and

things click in place.

teru is here because he wants to get off more on the non-love that Ritsu has for love because he has that much of an ego

“I don’t.” ritsu says. which, of course, teru replies with amusement and saying that he doesn’t have to hide now. he knows. which makes ritsu go, urghhh in frustration and digust.

just looked at the time and I swear I started writing this somewhere in 9pm and now it’s 10pm. whoops.

anyways, teru asking ritsu questions about his love for him and ritsu saying, “no, I don’t love you” and

“no I don’t — what the hell? what [specific-thing-about-teru-that-teru-expects-ritsu-to-notice] no I haven’t. why would I??????”

and teru going, hmm, “guess your love isn’t that strong” and Ritsu bafflement,

and teru definitely asking him about what about he loves about him, and Ritsu going “nothing” and teru laughing, “you got humour” but ritsu is not joking

(now whether the teru knows ritsu actually doesn’t love him or he doesn’t is never addressed. I love it being ambiguous more)

they eventually reach ritsu’s home, and teru has a good satisfied ego-stroke from that conversation while ritsu just looks Tired

skipping over to fun date shenanigans! what types dates would they go on?

of course we gotta have cinema date!!! I have been thinking of ritsu having “likes human drama” in his character profile a lot and while I don’t remember what it said for teru, he does...like gossip right?? I’m actually unsure about that as we’ll BUT ANYWAYS teru loves to give his ideas on stuff

and anyways thinking about how ritsu expected to having the worst time, and it starts off as awful. like about how he doesn’t want to be here, and the movie that teru chooses doesn’t look good, and teru picked up the love seats for them

and anyways thinking about, how ritsu is not optimistic about anything and is not here to enjoy himself but as the movie starts....as the movie continues in.....

he gets INVOLVED. he finds that this is straight up his genre

and teru asking him how the movie was afterwards and talking about it, and immediately refuting whatever he says and offering an alternative that teru refutes and that one part in the convo where they

oh my god STRAWS. DRINKS STRAWS. Ritsu getting a specific drink that he likes and that teru side eying it, and going, huh, I haven’t that before, it good? and Ritsu nodding and teru just going for it and drinking it as well from the other side

...because it’s a couple drink or smth and Ritsu PAUSE

and teru acting like it’s totally a normal thing.

(oh my god, new idea: fake dating!!! them having to act like a couple to get into something because of something and getting all-couple things!!!!)

(this reminds me of my other fake dating idea that I want to write, which oh my god would fit with this one I just got)

(riteru fake dating is just So Good. So Perfect heart starry eyes)

gonna stop here, because stuff. so much ideas though!!! still buzzing!!! god, I love them so much and this is gonna be FANTASTIC

but ending off on, teru doing the arm around shoulder thing for ritsu like all the girls he had dated. oh my god, yes.

also...thinking about....mob and him learning through teru but ritsu doesn’t know yet and mob just Dropping on ritsu on time and Ritsu having a flashback through all the times that he had gotten back from date with teru and filling the blanks of

wait. would teru tell mob? would teru want mob to know this.

[spideypoolbigbang]

SPBB 2020 Masterlist

Title: All Cats are Grey in the Dark 

 Author: mayatheyellowbee 

 Artist: Cheermione 

 Rating: Explicit 

 Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence 

 Word Count: 28,511 

Summary: Peter is a Witcher, hired to kill Deadpool, another monster hunter gone rogue. But when he meets his target, he realizes there is more behind Deadpool’s recent killing spree than what he’s been led to believe. Despite their diverging opinions on the subject of murder, they have to put their differences aside to face a monster far worse - and more human - than any they’ve ever fought before.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: The Past, the Present, and the (im)Possible Future

Author: Jennicide — AO3 and Tumblr

Artist: WaterMe — AO3 and Tumblr

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 44,833

Summary: Peter B. Parker drops back into his crapshoot reality after a little detour to an alternate universe. He thinks he might have finally figured out how to make it work again with MJ, but he forgets that there’s still that infamous ‘Parker Luck’ to contend with. (Un)Fortunately for him, there’s a totally available Deadpool on his side of the multiverse who’s been waiting years for a chance to pick him up!

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: A Year in the Gallery

Author: Princess_Breetlejuice

Artist: TheLazyDrawer

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Word Count: 43,579

Summary: Wade is kidnapped by a strange man who has a very peculiar job offer. While he’s skeptical, the man promises to compensate Wade very generously for the use of his body. Sounds [sketch], but Wade is all for easy money, and it’s not like he has anything better to do right now.

And really, what’s the worst that can happen?

(Or: Peter is an immortal sex demon with a penchant for sadism, and Wade is about to learn he can endure unimaginable agony with a smile.)

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: Anchored 

Author: @jolinarjackson​

Artist: @violettavonviolet 

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Implied/referenced homicide, implied/referenced character death 

Word Count: 34,999

Summary: In a world in which Empaths are common and their gifts considered useful, Peter, as an Empath, is an outsider because his gift is irreversibly broken. Unable to initiate physical contact with anyone, Peter lives isolated and is forced to keep the few people in his life at a distance. His only escape is going out on patrol as Spider-Man and the friendship he developed with Deadpool as his alter ego. Peter’s life changes dramatically when he and Deadpool accidentally touch, resulting in an unexpected Empathic bond that goes against everything Peter knows about his Broken Empathy. While trying to figure out what exactly is going on between them, Peter and Wade also join forces to stop a serial killer who seems to have taken up residence in New York, unaware that Spider-Man is one of his intended targets.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: When We’re 40

Author: doctoring (AO3)

Artist: Chez (Tumblr)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No AO3 Warnings Apply

Word Count: 61,241

Summary: Peter B. Parker returns from the multiverse to find out that Mary Jane has moved on and is engaged to be married. Feeling that he’s been left behind in life, Peter agrees to a marriage pact with Wade, mainly just to get his dinner back that Wade’s been holding hostage. The deal sets the two men off on a year-long journey of navigating their feelings for each other and what a ‘significant other’ really means. Eventually, they both realize that they don’t want just a silly little marriage pact, but something more real and meaningful with each other. Too bad they’re not the best with admitting their feelings.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: Sympathy for the Hurricane

Author: meinposhbastard (AO3, tumblr)

Artist: thatbanananana (tumblr)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 27,702

Summary: Peter has never been more scared in his entire life. He’s on the run, and the last place he should take refuge in is the Trenches, the deepest and most dangerous place of the Atlantic Ocean. But he’s desperate. If they catch him, it will be the end of him. The Monster of the Trenches is a creature that has been in numerous wars and has lived for a thousand years (or so the folk tales say). Peter has grown up with them, among others; this monster is that old. So Peter expects something big and formless and dark and maybe hungry for siren flesh. What Peter finds is a merman full of scars, a tragic past befitting them, and kindness.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: Don’t You Dare Forget the Sun

Author: Klaus

Artist: Zet

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Major Character Death, Angst, torture, blood and gore, experimentation, psychological torture, established relationship, canon typical violence and language.

Word Count: 12,382

Summary:

“Cold white walls, keep you from your pad and pen 

You just wanna stab again 

I can’t believe it’s half this hard You never knew your mind was dark, no!“ 

Peter Parker, self-proclaimed superhero and honestly a nice guy, finds himself locked within the confines of a top-secret definitely not legal medical facility. Maybe it was the kicks to his head, or possibly the chains that kept him hogtied in the back of the vehicle, or even the horrible experimentation was done to his body but something tells him that he is in a No Good Very Bad Place. 

Not that he can really feel much of the pain anymore. He didn’t realize he was falling perfectly in place for these doctors’ nefarious plans and now he can’t think much of anything anymore. He’s following orders. He’s here for Shield, right? The doctors tell him he’s doing good. He’s amazing. He’s Their perfect soldier and Peter can’t help but say yes to everything asked of him.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

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Title: Your Friendly Neighbourhood Deadpool

Author: Nimohtar ( AO3 | Tumblr )

Artist: Princesseellie3 ( Instagram | Tumblr )

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Major Warnings Apply.

Word Count: 42,873

Summary: When Aunt May moves to the small town of Berry Hill, MA for a new job, Peter doesn’t anticipate things will change too much in his own life. That is, until he meets the town’s self-proclaimed leather-wearing, katana-wielding local hero, a.k.a Your Friendly Neighbourhood Deadpool…

A story told in snapshots of holidays, where strangers become friends, and then something more.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

__________

Title: To You

Co-Authors: AnGoose — AO3 and Tumblr; Y_ellow — AO3 and Tumblr

Artist: PastaPapi — AO3 and Twitter and Tumblr

Betas: Atem — AO3 and Tumblr; Water — AO3 and Tumblr

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 13,653

Summary: Deadpool’s quest to make best friends with Spider-Man is a strange and convoluted thing, made all the more complicated by the letters he keeps finding in his safehouse. They’re all addressed to “Ben, Love Peter.” And they’re all just a little too on the nose regarding Spidey’s personal problem of the month. Wade isn’t going to say no to a little extra insight into how to woo his very best Spider-Friend, though.

Or, five times someone mistakes Wade’s crummiest safehouse as a post office, and one time Wade plays the sexy-mailman part in this (emotional) porno and hand delivers a letter to Spider-Man.

Fic Masterpost | Art Masterpost

___________

Title: Lost in a Shadow of You

Author: @lunastories​ (AO3)

Artist: @ah-geee​

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Major Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 34,514

Summary: Peter always suspected he’d be a shitty fisherman, but after some rather unfortunate events in New York force him to be a recluse in a secluded coastal town, he can say for certain he sucks at this. Fortunately for him, the resident cryptid, one Siren known as Wade Wilson, is around to save him from himself. Misunderstandings and shenanigans ensue when Peter’s ‘thank you for saving my life’ gifts are mistaken as ‘please have babies with me’ courting gifts by the Siren. Only time (and some low-key therapy) will decide if they figure their shit out.

This is a story of two monsters who despite all the odds, find a home in each other.

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Title: Heatwave

Author: TimidTurnip [Ao3 | Tumblr]

Artist: VictoryThorn [Instagram | Tumblr]

Rating: E

Warnings: No Major Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 16,911K

Summary: Peter can handle anything life decides to throw his way. He didn’t freak out at all when Wade professed his love, the heat wave isn’t turning him into a puddle of goo and he’s totally got a firm grasp on his finances. And Wade… he just wants to know why Peter won’t date him, even if he has to push a few boundaries to find out.

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Title: Snippets Through Time

Author: Lalapaya | Tumblr: @manyfandomsnotime​

Artist: 343EnderSpark | Tumblr: @343EnderSpark

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 9,668

Summary: Peter Parker has to face the normal tumultuous daily routine of being the only child of a famous billionaire philanthropist and a historic icon. The one to help him through this is his best friend and partner in crime Wade Wilson. But what to do if this said friend suddenly becomes the target of affection?

A few excerpts of Peter Parker’s life growing up with Wade Wilson as his best friend and Iron Man and Captain America as his fathers.

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Title: Nothing Gold Can Stay

Author: cheekysstyles (tumblr)

Artist: aquamerryne (insta)

Rating: M

Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Word Count: 30k

Summary: A year and a half ago, sixteen year old gymnastics prodigy Peter Parker left in the middle of the World Championship competition, costing Team USA a chance at a medal. After one too many run-ins with the law, Peter gets an ultimatum: return to the sport he left behind or end up in juvenile detention.

When he arrives at X-Force Gymnastics, an elite gym owned by Wade Wilson, Peter is unprepared to rediscover his love for the sport and to confront the very thing that made him quit in the first place.

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Title: A Mate Most Begrudging 

 Author: Vixen13 (Twitter) 

 Artist: Gensyz 

Rating: Explicit 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Word Count: 46,189

Summary: It’s the height of the Gilded Age in America where everyone is searching for a new life and a new fortune from booming industry to the colonization of the wild frontier. Wade Wilson is a disgraced alpha trapped in the in-between of east and west, high society and labor, recluse and shunned. Though he’s convinced himself that he’s just fine on his own, others are more than happy to meddle in his perfectly quiet life before he loses his grip on reality more than he already has.

Peter Parker is a down on his luck omega who needs money fast. Knowing that laying tracks is a quick ticket to a short life, he let himself be talked into joining the mail order omega program. He’s careful about the alpha he chooses and determined to carve out a life for himself with a handsome stranger. But the shock of his alpha’s appearance is nothing compared to the slamming of the door in his face as Wade declares he has no intention of mating with anyone, especially not some gold-digging omega tart.

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Title: Three Steps to Inferno

Author: @waterme-stories (Ao3)

Artist: @atemy (Ao3)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Word Count: 31,399k

Summary: On August 26th, 1934, Gwen Stacy brushed past the doorman at the Ritz-Carlton, walked into the dining room, and set herself on fire.

With the city plunged into pandemonium, I didn’t think twice before I hit the pavement: both as private eye Peter Benjamin Parker, and behind the scenes as The Spider, New York City’s most notorious vigilante. The criminal underworld cowered at the sound of my name and the shadow of my webs — but there were some parts of the Big Apple’s seedy underbelly that I couldn’t begin to imagine…

(A Spideypool Noir Mystery)

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Title: Mutable Materials 

Author: @ciceqi (AO3) 

Artist: @nhrive (AO3) 

Rating: Mature 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply; warnings for Temporary Character Death, Suicide, Insectophobia 

Word Count: 12,853

Summary: Ever since the field trip that hijacked everything from Peter’s genetic profile to his daemon’s shape, he’s had to hide his entirely-too-recognizable daemon from the world.  He doesn’t expect to come across a man with an embarrassment of daemons, or maybe…no daemon at all.  Is Deadpool as delusional as everyone thinks?  He’s certainly been helpful, but how long can that last if his reality hinges on the existence of a daemon no one’s seen in years? 

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Title: A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Author: @mscaptainwinchester​

Artist: cottonclover

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Canonical Character Death, Physical Abuse (Alluded To), Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Word Count: 21,551

Summary: This is the Disney Cinderella AU no one asked for. In a faraway kingdom, in a comfortable cottage in a comfortable village, Peter Parker grew up with two wonderful parents who loved him very much. And then those parents died, and he was left to life with his stepmother Liv, and her two terrible children, Jessica and Eugene. His happy home turned into an unhappy life of servitude with no end in sight.

An invitation to a Royal Ball reminds Peter of a long-dead wish to see the palace his mother told him stories of, and he becomes determined to attend despite the protests of his miserable family. With the help of his new fairy godmother, a little bit of magic, and a whole lot of hard work, his dreams of visiting the palace and finding his very own Prince Charming will come true. Or will they?*

*They totally will. What kind of Cinderella story do you think this is?

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Title: Thanks for the Memories

Author: Actionpackedlips

Artist: Moemai

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Sexual Content, Canon Divergence

Word Count: 50,461

Summary: What if Mysterio never outed Peter?

Deadpool comes back from a mission to find his favorite Spider-Man, his only Spider-Man, the boxes so helpfully remind him, missing. Specifically, kidnapped. Mysterio’s remaining crew were brimming with the need for revenge after their leader’s death, and so they vowed to use updated B.A.R.F tech to learn Spider-Man’s specific superpowers in order to harness it for themselves; another failed attempt to continue Mysterio’s grandiose plans of becoming the best superhero ever. With the help of the Avengers Peter is found, connected to a device not even Tony has full comprehension of.

Deadpool valiantly volunteers to be hooked up; death was a regularly scheduled program for him, after all. He’d guide Spider-Man to a subconscious level that was safe to be extracted from, and (total bonus!) hopefully win his favor as Spidey’s knight in shiny leather! But once Deadpool enters, his deepest, darkest, repressed memories are on display for him and his friendly neighborhood spider to see. Deadpool fears not only what Spider-Man will think of him after it all, after everything he sees, but just what he’ll have to relive in order to rescue the man who not-so-secretly holds his heart.

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Title: Paradise Awaits

Author: bisexualbarry

Artist: doctoring

Rating: Mature

Warnings: canon typical violence, minor character death

Word Count: 32k

Summary: “For those who prove worthy, paradise awaits…”

Fifteen years after assuming his childhood best friend died, jaded treasure hunter Peter Parker comes out of an early retirement when Wade Wilson comes back into his life. Now fully scarred and clearly hiding secrets, Wade drags Peter back into the thrill of searching for legendary pirate Captain Henry Avery’s lost treasure.

Fighting for their life from the Shoreline mercenaries chasing after them, Peter and Wade continue the dangerous search of a pirate treasure worth 400 million, at least. It’s too bad their ex-partner, Harry Osborn, wants them dead to take the treasure all for himself.

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Title: Ducks!

Author(s): Devral

Artist: LordAvon

Rating: Teen

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 7,994

Summary: After a fight with Peter, Wade goes stomping through Central Park. He stumbles upon something extremely unexpected. He’s not ready to be a mama!

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Title: Puppy ex Machina

Author: riseofthefallenone ( Tumblr | Ao3 )

Artist: Jennicide ( Tumblr | Ao3 )

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 83,044

Summary: A year after his divorce, Peter is trapped in a depressive cycle and still not quite over Mary Jane. When she shows up at his door, begging him to watch her dog for a week while she leaves town, he can’t really bring himself to say “no”. No one was expecting that little Pomeranian to turn his life around and help him realize that his friendship with Wade has been teetering on the edge of something more for a while.

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Title: The Fourth Wall

Author: RansomNotes (Ao3)

Artist: thelazyartist (Ao3)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 13k

Summary: Between college and his side jobs and his alter-ego, Peter barely has the time to sleep at his apartment, let alone spend any time hanging out there, which works out since it’s a cheap and empty and depressing apartment, now that he and Ned aren’t roommates on-campus anymore. So hearing his rude loudmouth neighbor through the wall all the time shouldn’t matter much, except it’s classic Parker to somehow make friends with the crazy guy next door, to the point he’s actually sad to leave his crummy apartment. But Peter seems to have a real penchant for bad company, since he’s spending all his free time with someone he’s never seen, only heard through the wall, and spending most of his patrolling time with someone else crazy, since Deadpool showed up recently and somehow monopolized his time as Spider-Man. It’s probably just a phase. Everybody goes through a fall-catastrophically-hard-for-separate-but-unavailable-people phase, right?

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Title: In Which Peter Finds Hope

Author: ladyamante (AO3)

Artist: Areon (tumblr)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, sexual content, Past child abuse

Word Count: 62,245

Summary: Peter just wants to relax after last year. He hit a rough patch, and Deadpool helped him get through the worst of it. After identity reveals, therapy, and a few explosions, things have finally started to settle down for them both.

But just as Peter’s getting into the swing of things, a strange man with a metal arm shows up claiming to be a time-traveller. He says Peter is the only one who can help him save mutant kind.

Peter finds himself pulled from his home and dragged through different dimensions as he and Cable search for the key to their survival. Meanwhile, they keep running into different versions of Peter’s boyfriend. It seems that everything connects back to Wade. Cable thinks it’s just a coincidence, but Peter is sure there’s a deeper reason behind it all.

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Title: Whether By Accident or By Design 

Author: crookedswingset 

Artist: thelonebamf 

Rating: Explicit 

Warnings: Graphic Violence, Temporary Major Character Death (Wade), Sexual Content, Cannibalistic Symbiotes, Blood and Injury, Secret Identity, Body Horror

Word Count: 188K 

Summary: Peter is about to graduate college and become an officially licensed Pro Hero. Too bad he’s already burnt out. Years of operating as an illegal vigilante with a supposedly subpar Quirk will do that to you. But just as he’s about to quit altogether, he meets actual Pro Hero Deadpool, a reformed villain who works hard to make sure others don’t follow in his footsteps. Despite this achievement, Wade’s just as jaded as he is and has completely given up on making things better.

As their relationship deepens, Peter realizes he is not quite ready to give up on being a Pro Hero, a resolve that is tested when a new Pro Hero agency comes to town and takes over. The so-called “Guard” is a group of four eight-foot men with eerily similar Quirks—and they have no intention of making nice with New York City’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

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