#wish you all the best anon

[carmillatism]

hello! i hope this ask finds you well <3

i’m just looking for a bit of advice and i saw one of your posts about being disabled so i figured i might ask;

(to preface: i am not disabled) but sometimes my right hip does a weird thing and hurts for a bit on and off and i can’t really walk (my hips have always been weird - they pop really easily and hurt if i lay down on them for too long) and i was curious if you might have advice on how to deal with that? (though granted i don’t actually know what kind of physical disability you have so this might just be headed out into the aether)

(sorry if this is the wrong blog to ask!)

hello! sorry for getting back so late; i had school! and yes, you came to the right place! want to preface this with a disclaimer by saying i'm not a professional, and i recommend you talk with a doctor if possible. i also recommend doing your own research as i don't know you like you know you!

that aside, i have pots and hsd, both which cause me chronic pain. hsd, or hypermobikity spectrum disorder, causes me chronic joint pain. and good for you, my most common place of pain is in my hips, so i have a lot of experience with what your describing.

my biggest recommendation, other than talking with a doctor, is for you to try and stay off of it when it hurts. you can also apply heat or cold (with an ice pack, heating pad, etc.) to the area that hurts. that usually makes me feel better. i also recommend taking otc (over-the-counter) pain meds. take the dose it tells you to take, and that will usually help soothe the pain!

i also recommend that you keep your mind open to the idea that you could be disabled. if this pain is pretty common for you (as in it happens a couple times a week) and has lasted for at least 3 months with common occurrences, then it's considered chronic pain. if you have chronic pain, you are disabled. ofc i don't know you and can't say for certain! but keeping your mind open to the idea can help you more easily make that transition in the future if you are diagnosed with a disability or your symptoms become disabilitating.

i also recommend getting a cane if possible! canes help a lot with getting weight off of the leg that's hurting, thus allowing the pain to decrease. do not worry about "faking" being disabled. if you need a cane to lessen the pain you feel whilst walking or to support your walking, then use it! you would use your left (opposite of hurt leg) hand for the cane. you don't have to get one, of course, but they are a pretty cheap investment if you get them at a pharmacy or online, and they are extremely helpful.

but again, i can't recommend it anymore for you to see a medical professional. what you are describing sounds similar to my experiences with chronic pain, plus having pain flareups for seemingly no reason pretty consistently along with your hip feeling out of place or popping out of place, sounds like something to bring up to your doctor. based on the limited symptoms you gave, i recommend looking into heds, hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndromes (plus the other versions of eds), or hsd (which is what i have. both are hypermobility from a connective tissue disorder that causes a slew of symptoms, but a major one is joint instability and chronic pain. hsd is sort of a different part of the spectrum of eds, or just a different but similar disorder (scientists really don't know)).

some good medical websites that i use a lot for info on my own health as well as my medical science interst are the cleveland clinic, the nhs website, and mayo clinic. these have digestible pages of information about many different disorders and problems.

i also recommend keeping a list of your symptoms that don't seem entirely normal or healthy. also, keeping a journal of your pain flares and describing when and why it happens can help you track it and see if it worsens or gets better. i also recommend using these to look into possible disorders that you may have. advice given for any type of similar disorders with symptoms similar to yours (or that you might have) can greatly benefit you if you want more advice!

if you have any more questions you can dm me, use my ask box again, or ask someone else for another point of view! talking about it with many different people can give you many different and helpful perspectives that can help you figure out what's going on. i wish you all the best!

[thunderc1an]

November 7th- Firestar + Hollykit

Happy Birthday @arqueervist !!!

[catastrxblues]

EVERMORE by taylor swift (feat. bon iver) — “and i was catching my breath, floors of a cabin creaking under my step. and i couldn’t be sure, i had a feeling so peculiar, this pain wouldn’t be forevermore.”

my #swiftiegiftexchange2024 for @lovesickallovermybed!!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽

[anxiou13sami]

♡ᴹʸ ᶜʰⁱˡᵈʰᵒᵒᵈ ᶜʳᵘˢʰᵉˢ...๋࣭ ⭑⚝

⁽ᶜʳᵉᵖᵖʸᵖᵃˢᵗᵃ⁾

ᴴᵉˡᵉⁿ ⁽ᵇˡᵒᵒᵈʸ ᵖᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ⁾

ᴵᵗ ʷᵃˢ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵃᵗ ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ˢⁱᵍʰᵗ⁻😭 ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʷʰʸ ᵐᵃⁿʸ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ ᶠᵃˡˡ ⁱⁿ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᴶᵉᶠᶠ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᴴᵉˡᵉⁿ ᵉˣⁱˢᵗˢ, ᴵ ⁱᵈᵉⁿᵗⁱᶠⁱᵉᵈ ʷⁱᵗʰ ʰⁱᵐ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ⁽ᵉˣᶜᵉᵖᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᵈ ᵖᵃʳᵗ⁾, ᵃⁿʸʷᵃʸ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵗᵒᵒ ˡᵃᶻʸ ᵗᵒ ᵈʳᵃʷ ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ᵗʳᵘᵉ ᵃʳᵗ ˢᵗʸˡᵉ ˢᵒ ᴵ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ˢᵏᵉᵗᶜʰᵉˢ...

ᵀᵒᵇⁱᵃˢ😻 ⁽ᵀⁱᶜᶜⁱ ᵀᵒᵇʸ⁾

ᴰᵒ ᴵ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵉˣᵖˡᵃⁱⁿ ⁱᵗ? ᵀᵒᵇíᵃˢ ⁱˢ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᴵ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ˡⁱᶠᵉ⁻👩‍🚒💖, ʰᵉ ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ʰᵃᵖᵖʸ, ʷʰᵉⁿ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ ᴵ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵃ ˢᶜᵉⁿᵃʳⁱᵒ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ʰᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ʰᵃᵈ ᵃ ʰᵃᵖᵖʸ ᵉⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ⁻🤡💔, ᴵ ᵈʳᵉʷ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵈʳᵃʷⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰˢ ᵃᵍᵒ, ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ⁱᵗ ʷᵃˢ ⁱⁿ ᴺᵒᵛᵉᵐᵇᵉʳ, ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ʷᵒʳᵏ ᵃᵗ ˢᶜʰᵒᵒˡ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ˢᵏᵉᵗᶜʰᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ��ⁱᵐ...

ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵈʳᵃʷ ᵐᵒʳᵉ, ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ʷᵉʳᵉ ᵐʸ ᶜʰⁱˡᵈʰᵒᵒᵈ ᶜʳᵘˢʰᵉˢ, ⁽ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉʸ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᵃʳᵉ 🤭⁾

[pocketramblr]

Absolutely love your writing for all the AU/5 headcanons asks. Can I ask: AU where Rei cheats on Endeavor with All Might? It happens after AM's injury, so she doesn't recognize him, and he ofc doesn't know that she's married in the first place, much less to whom

you make this very difficult for me by giving me a window of 6 and half years for them to have an affair and for every single moment of that window, Rei is institutionalized. how am i supposed to get them to meet, much less take their clothes off. ok. think. there are other fic writers who specialize in this kind of thing, surely. what would they do....

1- ok so. The fire alarm at the hospital goes off. Rei doesn't know if it's a drill or not, but she's been there for seven years and generally does not need a lot of support during something like this like other patients do, so the nurses wave her out and she stands around outside a bit waiting for the fire alarm to stop and them to go back in. (It isn't a drill, they wouldn't have evacuated everyone if it was, but Rei is on the other side of the building and facing away from seeing any smoke) (This smoke is from a villain attack that All Might is taking care of, though he's only got seconds left of his power to use that day. he quickly rushes off, deflating and stumbling out on the other side of the hospital. Where Rei is.)

2- Rei is like "huh that guy doesnt seem to be in good shape" and kinda waves attention at him, and a nurse who's passing out water to patients and keeping an eye on the road gives Toshinori some too, getting more concerned when he dazedly answers that he's All Might and coughs up blood, but the nurse figures he's concussed since he smells of smoke and must have been closer to the fight, and is just reeling from being able to see the number one hero in person. Then they get distracted and wave Toshi to wait nearby, where Rei offers to chill his water and asks if he's alright, if he breathed in any smoke.

3- They chat and then go back into the hospital as it's un-evacuated together, Rei hanging out in the lobby where he sits as the hospital staff focus on getting everyone else back to their rooms. It pays to be low priority sometimes. Eventually she tells him her name is Rei and that she's in room K18, if he ever wants to visit or call. She doesn't get to talk to anyone except doctors, family visitors, or other paitients, and most of them don't stay nearly as long as she does. It's been seven years, and she's very lonely. Toshinori is lonely too, and when he's out of time for a day and feeling useless with nothing to do, he likes to talk to a friend.

4- Rei has been in the hospital for eight years when it gets physical. At that point, Toshinori knows a bit about her family. She has kids, mentions visits from a son and daughter, and then quietly mentioned when her son turned seventeen- her daughter's already twenty. She's been there for so much of their lives. He asks if she's married, and she admits she isn't sure how to file for divorce in a hospital like she is, if she even can, if she wants to because she'd lose custody, if it matters when she's not raising them anyway. He doesn't ask much more, knows there is a dead child and a baby she says isn't safe with her there. Toshinori never called Nana 'mom' to her face while she was alive, and had a reason for it, and has a similar reason for not asking more, not asking for the other names when he gets Fuyumi and Natsuo's. Yes, the doctors and nurses all know Rei has a boyfriend who visits. they don't say anything. who would they even tell, anyway. I debated the humor of reusing the bit from candlelight shoto that Toshi and Rei could have a kid with a fire quirk, but yeah here? Rei ain't getting pregnant, absolutely not.

5- When Natsuo turns eighteen, Rei does actually file for divorce, or at least tries to get the ball rolling on that. Toshinori's trusted her that her marriage is over in all but name, but he's more at ease with it ended fully. Fuyumi is crushed but burying it all deep inside. Natsuo is like 'what are you talking about. divorce is the most normal possible outcome here.' But anyway, Rei also begins to bring up being discharged- something she never bothered with earlier, when it seemed like she'd never be able to go home while Shoto was there, and never would want to go back anyway. (Her parents are absolutely not an option either so where would she go once discharged? the hospital was her only security.) Toshinori then tells her at this point about his diagnosis, that he's supposed to be terminal, in a way. He doesn't have a lot of time he can give her. Rei says that's ok, she'll take what she can get. She moves in. Fuyumi still goes out to eat with her once a week, though Rei doesn't say she's moved in with a boyfriend, just says she's in a safe place and it's not Fuyumi's job to worry about it, please, let her do that, relax, be her daughter instead of a mother. Natsuo adds her to his cellphone plan and gets her one. Rei doesn't tell Toshinori her ex's identity. Toshinori doesn't tell her about OfA, though she does know he's mentoring a student for heroics and is very proud of him. (Toshinori is a secretary at Might Tower, he's a great mentor. Oh huh, he got a job position at UA at the same time as All Might, she wonders if they carpool.)

+1- OK THE REVEAL so the reveal is. Toshinori gets home from the SF. And Rei almost knocks him out by the door, eyes wide and panicked, asking if he's ok, if Shoto's ok. Toshinori is like "... young todoroki? yeah he's alright? i know his fight with young bakugo looked bad but- Rei???" And that's when it all clicks for him, he's having dozens of horrible realizations at once, all while Rei weeps over her youngest. Toshinori's been a hero for a very, very long time. He's felt hopeless, before. But even then, he's known what needs to be done, he just isn't able to do it. But now? he's at a complete loss with no idea what he should do.

[bloggingboutburgers]

so, im alloallo, and bi, but i have a close friend who's a lesbian. we e-cuddle a lot though. i have strong feelings for her that feel like more than just regular friendship, but dont feel romantic and definitly not sexual. i just wanna snuggle her lots and lots. and im wondering like, can an alloallo person have QP feelings for someone?

This is just me here but I absolutely don't see why not, personally. I've actually discussed it with someone in the past on this blog here. tl;dr it makes sense non-allo people would be more aware of queer platonic feelings, just like they're typically more aware of split attraction or alterous attraction, but I don't see why it should be "reserved for them" so to speak. Personally as an aroace person, if anything, I'm always very happy to see an allo person potentially relate to those feelings rather than reflexively stomping them down into the romance-or-sex mould.

[garfieldstim]

hihi! would it be possible to request a stimboard with sort of a general theme of letting go/moving on? generally comforting… im not sure if this makes sense so if you do it, feel free to take that as you wish~~ thank you!

'letting go & moving on' stimboard for anon

x x x / x x x / x x x

[pjsk-headcanons]

i've been seeing you reblog a lot of "queer people don't kill yourselves" posts so i thought maybe i should say something. i'm not sure but

to everyone, don't try to die. don't try to take your life. life is scary and there's no guarantee it won't get worse. but it will get better. there are people who love you. a lot. i don't care if you're a bad person. if you're asking yourself if you should die, i think that just points out you have enough sel-awareness to realize you did something bad- so don't commit. just change and try the hardest you can. hang out with friends more. talk to someone that you know will listen to you. i know you know there is SOMEONE. just saying it out loud, even. life is bad. people are bad. you might feel bad. you might feel like something about you is bad because other people don't like it. but please, and i mean it, someone thinks its cool. if there's a person that doesn't like something about you, keep going. keep going until you find someone that makes you happy. platonically or romantically.

it's going to get better. i promise.

(this is more like a rant, and i'm really sorry if you're uncomfortable with any of this in your inbox. you're free to delete this ask and any other necessary measures if you don't want to interact with me anymore)

have a great day, mod!

please, please live, everyone. if only just to spite those who wish you death.

[liesmyth]

Hi I'm the anon that was shell-shocked by your age. I'm 16 and some pennies, but idk why I always imagined that most of the people here was in the 14 to 24 age range. Mostly because some of the ideas and opinions birthed on here can only come from teenagers. Tho idk why I imagined u to be some kind of uni student. It's also true that most people here in my head are skinnier than a Skeleton while you're a boulder. So maybe you're an outlier.

The average age of Tumblr users is 20. However Grandma SchwarzeneGgeorg..

there's so much to unpack here

[ohbo-ohno]

so to preface this, I have absolutely no interest in asylum/doctor AUs with Ghoap and/or Ghoap X Reader because my trauma stems from a psych ward. But, I do have some potential tidbits of knowledge you could use to write such a thing for anyone interested!

-the food at the psych ward I was in was uniquely terrible, so much so that their main complaint on Google Reviews was about patients getting food poisoning. This could be leveraged by Ghost to spike Johnny and/or Reader’s food with something, hiding the effects behind the usual ‘yeah the food sucks, just grit your teeth’ the other patients give.

-the main memory I have of the ward I was in was a therapy circle I did with a bunch of other patients. After explaining why I was placed there, all of them told me it was my own fault. I don’t think I need to spell out the delicious gaslighting potential this has for Johnny or a Reader. Maybe both of them are patients but Johnny is in cahoots with Ghost, and the two of them are working together to coax Reader into doing what they want?

-The inpatient people were kept on a separate floor. The fifth floor iirc. We never saw them, but one of my friends at the time spent over a month in inpatient and had absolutely nightmarish stories about it. Being locked down there, potentially including things like straitjackets or padded cells, would be a great way to torment and break a Reader or even Johnny.

-I was 12 going on 13 when I was sent to the ward, and they put me in a group of people at least twice my age. These individuals were actually dangerous to themselves and others. One good way to keep a Reader nice and dependent on Johnny and Ghost for protection would be doing the same, putting her in a group where she feels unsafe and alienated. Bonus points if one of said group tries to hurt her and Ghoap get to swoop in and save the day.

That’s pretty much all I had to say, thinking about the event too much gives me a migraine lol. Just wanted to offer up some writing fodder for anyone who wants it! Consider me tossing bits of bread and corn off the dock for the guppies of the lake to feast upon at their leisure

Oh my god you are a fucking Saint

[exyconfessions]

I have to send this anonymously because I can't let it get back to me. I'm on the EA Ravens and I've been considering dropping out recently, but I know people will be mad that I wasted such a good opportunity because it's SO hard to get onto the team. I just wish people knew what it's actually like. The truth will come out eventually, and I can't say much, but this place is really not good for me.

.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Feel free to ignore if this is unwelcome, but have you ever thought about publishing traditionally to sublimate your income and draw in new readers? I know you've self published two books already and that you didn't feel like they did very well, but maybe the experience would be different if someone else was in charge of marketing and all the other business stuff?

Obviously everyone's experience is different but as an author myself who's published both trad and self, traditional publishing has been a completely different experience and has allowed me to focus more on writing because I'm not the one responsible for advertising/marketing/financing anymore.

There are a ton of literary agents nowadays that want to represent diverse and lgbtqia+ fiction, some of them even in Australia.

Websites like Reedsy, AgentQuery and Jerichowriters have extensive directories to find literary agents.

(This is lengthy folks so I'm putting the other two parts (and my response) under a read more! Also putting it under a read more so the anon can skip my response since it's very 'here's all the reasons I can't do this' and they just might not want to read that, lmao)

(continued -> )

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

Obviously most authors, unless they're really prolific, don't get a huge advance (the average is between $1000 - $5000) but getting your foot in the door or on the traditional publishing "ladder' so to speak can have a huge benefit for your serials. Because it gives you more exposure. Plus it's in the agent's best interest to find a publishing house that accepts stories that contain darker themes and negotiate the best deal for you.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses? I have no idea. But you could use this to your advantage. I think I remember you mentioning that writing novels felt quite isolating to you? But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

You already have a loyal readership and that's very attractive to trad pub houses and agents.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance. It could be just a landing page that says something about you and then has links to your tumblr and patreon where you're more active. That way you increase the chances of getting your serials found by additional readers and also come across looking more "professional". Not that you're not professional now. You are and I admire you greatly, but the unfortunate reality is a lot of people still judge by appearances and some will be more drawn to an author's website than a tumblr page, at least at first. So I think having a simple landing page would open up another door for you to benefit from.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

These are just suggestions and thoughts and like I said before, feel free to ignore. But I know you've mentioned wanting to grow your career in the past and I genuinely believe you can do so with some of these pathways.

~

Okay, my response. Posting this because firstly I think the suggestions could work very well for other authors reading this! And I hope they take the advice to note, and secondly because I haven't talked about this for a hot minute so let's talk about it again.

So the TL;DR is yes I have considered traditional publishing. I have actually been traditionally published in short stories, poetry, and also had my art published on covers and re: interior illustrations. But my Fae Tales works got soundly rejected when I sent them to publishing houses that were doing open calls for that sort of material. I've never heard back from an agent and I never expect to, heh.

~

Now for a bit more detail

I have been traditionally published before (it's how I got my writing out there long before I ever wrote serials), and yes, I have approached publishers with my writing since then. In fact Tradewinds was written for the traditional publishing market, and it got soundly rejected, and then shelved. The reasons it was rejected ran the gamut from 'I don't like that these fae eat humans no one is going to relate to these people' (while the editor then went on to publish vampire books idk) to 'There's too much worldbuilding you can't expect readers to keep up with this' to 'Your stories are too long, no one wants to read characters talking all the time.'

Meanwhile in my online serials I was getting feedback like 'my favourite chapters are the ones where the characters just sit in a room and talk' lol.

The traditional publishing world is also not quite as utopian for most authors as you make it seem. I'm friends with a lot of authors who are traditionally published because that's the world I came from, and unless they're solely in KU and doing generic rapid release formula romances, none of them are making that much money. Certainly not enough to live off. It may have been that you were very fortunate, anon, but I know hundreds more traditionally published authors that left trad pub to make money, and I know about 5 in trad pub personally who are making enough to live off of.

Only one of those is really writing what she truly loves to write, and even then, publishing houses have refused to commit to her entire fantasy series (and she's regularly in 'Top 10/20 Women Fantasy Authors in the World' lists) and forced her to finish the series prematurely. Something I never ever have to worry about in self pub.

The reality is that in trad pub these days, you're still in charge of most of your marketing unless you're one of the big earners for the publishing house. In fact I'd be expected to keep even more of a social media and marketing presence than I do now. I don't do almost any of the things you're supposed to do as an author in marketing to be appealing. I don't have a Facebook author account. I don't have an Instagram author account. I don't maintain or regularly send out newsletters (which automatically puts me in the like 0.05% of authors who make money doing this lmao).

I don't know if you ever have looked that closely into what m/m publishing houses expect from most of their authors, but the newsletter swaps, cover releases, review circuits, interview circuits and more are fucking grueling. We're expected to be responsible for our advertising and our marketing to a fairly massive degree. Some traditionally published in m/m still have to pay for their release blitzes out of pocket. These publishing houses, by and large, do not offer advances. You say most authors don't get large advances. I don't think most authors in this arena get offered advances at all unless they're somehow miraculously acquired by a Big 4.

We're expected to have an already established social media presence because of that (that's why it's so appealing to publishers that we have social media presences already, anon, so we can market, they can save money, and we still see only a minimal cut from the royalties).

And you still have to focus on your finances, because publishing houses like Dreamspinner straight up didn't pay a whole bunch of authors for so long they destroyed careers. They still haven't paid some of their authors. And they're still running a business and people still buy their books.

Trad publishing houses have better resources for marketing and helping authors get more attention than any self publishing website could.

This is true if a) they're a big publishing house and not an indie publisher of which most LGBTQIA+ publishing houses are and b) they're willing to use them on you.

The authors that make the most money get the most resources. If they believe you're going to earn back your advance and move thousands or tens of thousands of units per book, then yes, you will get those resources.

I have been told so many times now - even from friends who run publishing houses, including one who works at HarperCollins - that my work will never be mainstream enough to have broad appeal. They literally told me not to keep trying re: trad pub, because that was my dream for a long time. These folks have given me rock solid advice in the past, it's one of the reasons I'm doing so well now via Patreon + Ream. But they were like (paraphrasing) 'you don't write 60-80k romances and you don't want to and that's not your strength anyway, you're multi-genre which makes you hard to market, you write psychological and literary trauma recovery which is hard to market, you write character studies which are hard to market, publishing houses often don't commit to series anymore if the first two don't move units and if they pulled the plug you'd be contractually obliged to never finish that series until your contract was up.' I could go on, but it was like yeah...actually. Fair.

For some reason places like Amazon and the like accept and keep up more "dark" books that are traditionally published than they do with self pub ones. Maybe because they have more respect or leniency for publishing houses?

They do, but most publishing houses want very formulaic dark romance which is not what I write.

I have a 300k omegaverse slowburn that still hasn't had any penetrative sex in it, anon. Publishing houses don't want that. They don't expect anyone will wait 4 full length novels to get to literally a single penetrative sex scene.

But you already have 2 completed novels (3 if you count the fae one) that you could potentially revisit or rewrite to your liking and get them represented by agents.

If I rewrote them to my liking, trad pub wouldn't want them. They'd be too long! I think agents etc. take one look at me and go 'oh god, no thank you!' I'm not an easy sell, by any means.

Plus I'm very e.e about all of that with the knowledge that they then give me only about 10-15% of the royalties on the sales, vs. self-pub where I get around 70%, or subscription where I around 80% of it. When someone subscribes to me, they don't have to worry about 85-90% of their subscription fee going to a publishing house. I don't have to think about how many thousands and thousands of books I'd have to sell to make the same amount that I do now via subscription.

As well as trad publishing, you could also make s simple website that doesn't require much maintenance.

If it was that simple, I'd be doing it. I don't mean this in a facetious way, I mean it in a: I've made a lot of websites, in fact I run one at the moment not connected to my writing (I've been running it for so long it's now in its 20s and can probably has a driver's license). I find it so tedious that I barely remember to check in on it. But forgetting about it means there's always maintenance to keep up with when I get back to it.

Running websites is simpler than it used to be, but it's still not simple. There's hosting and hosting costs, there's server changes, there's back-end maintenance etc. I'm considering it for down the track, but there's a reason I decided to go the route of Patreon over my own site. There are authors (like Christopher Hopper) who actually do subscription through their own domain, but it's a lot of work.

Even placeholder sites are still work. They need updating, details change, story titles changing etc. Maintaining my Patreon + Ream About pages is enough, they're always both a little out of date, lol.

Not that you're not professional now.

Oh no, I mean from a 'traditional publisher looking at me to see what kind of candidate I am' I'm really not though. Like I said, I don't have the newsletter (100 subscribers who get one newsletter a year is not really a newsletter), I don't have the Facebook/Tiktok/Insta/Twitter/Bluesky/Threads accounts, etc. I write multi-genre across multiple steam levels, and I'm allergic to writing serials shorter than 150k. One of my best performing original serials was an 800k contemporary story with no sex in it but a lot of BDSM. It can't be marketed as clean or sweet, it's not high steam, an entire chapter is 'boy saves snail from rain.' Also he was cruel to animals, so not exactly what I'd call a sympathetic main.

And yet that story did so well for me via Patreon + Ream, because people want the kinds of stories that publishing houses generally don't want and I happen to be writing them.

Trad publishing is work but definitely not as much as self publishing, and you can continue on with your serials. Getting an agent can be time consuming but I personally believe the pros outweigh the cons and I also believe that your stories would be a huge treasure to the growing lgbtqia+ market. Seriously there needs to be more!

Anon I just literally do not believe an agent would want to represent me. I have 0% belief in that. Not from a self-deprecating angle but from a 'I am not a good bet for the trad market' perspective. From a 'I have so many friends who are trad pubbed authors who stare at me like I'm insane for writing serials as long as I do' perspective. From a 'professionals in the industry have told me it's amazing I'm doing so well in serials because there's no way they'd take a risk on what I'm doing' perspective. From a 'just because it's queer and diverse doesn't mean it hits literally any other thing a trad pub is looking for' perspective. I've been doing this for 10 years. There are agents who represent work similar to mine who know what I'm doing and wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. They're not missing out on a trick, they know I'm not broad appeal, and they're right.

Also the only way I'd have the energy to manage trad pub is by quitting serials. And honestly, I never found trad pub all that much fun while I was doing it for non-novel stuff. It was fine, and it is nice to have my stuff out there, but it was a ton of admin and a lot of going back and forth between people who really only care about marketing a product, and that's great and what they excel at! But I'm too disabled to turn this job into something crushing just to potentially make more money, I'd rather just quit and go back onto a full Disability Pension. I can't see any way I still get to write the stories I want to write, in the way that I write them, and be remotely appealing to a single reputable trad pub or agent.

Also *gestures to everything in this article*

[hkthatgffan]

As someone dying of lupus (it's hard to draw atm due to shakey hands), and is slow with comissions, I never ask for money first, rather than after i finish. And if I don't get it done in 3 months, I apologize and try to give them a free doodle of their choice, no money given to me at all.

Even if I moved slow, I'd always keep them up to speed with what was happening, if I can/cannot do the drawing or give them something small and free to compensate for the months gone by so at least someone gets a little something for waiting.

And if I get it done, then I get my payment (since my health is unpredictable, I like to get paid after. Makes me feel better, to not be paid upfront because it makes me feel better on touching up, asking if changes needed to the art, anything added, etc. Or if my health simply won't allow, at least they'll get something in the end.)

Idk. I just find it rather cruel to leave people in the dark like that. I deal with abuse, awful illnesses litterally tearing me apart, i've lost half if not most my family and had to do artwork or refund/explain if artwork couldn't be completed regardless.

There's no excuse to leave people behind, block, ignore,ghost, and run off with cash.

I've met really rude people in this fandom, and I really wish people would just take five seconds to go "ok here's what's happening, do you want your cash back?" Like it's not hard.

The day of the last few gf episodes, I was in the hospital because my organs weren't working properly and almost exploded my digestive track due to nerve damage,

Yet I still managed to

Let my friends know the art trades will be unfinished and you won't need to give me anything in return (because i always prefer to do them first incase something happens)

Let those who did used to pay me first get their 15 bucks back

All while my insides almost ruptured from gastroparesis 🎉🥳 and my friend died all in the same day i went and stayed two weeks in the hospital desperately trying to apologize for the delay and doing whatever I could to explain my situation and if they needed anything in return/makeup for it.

That's straight up MEAN to ignore and block someone and run off with the cash. There's no excuse.

Even when I was screaming in agony in my hospital bed, I still managed to give a refund or something or talk to the person and not leave them in the dust. :/

I am so sorry you were left in the dark.

OMG, I'm so, so sorry about all you've been through. That is honestly a truly painful and horrible thing to endure I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemies and people who like with you, made me endure some of the worst that I've seen from people in this fandom.

But also you're right. No matter the reason and no matter how long it may be, a person who has accepted a job...be it an art commission or something else, should at the bare minimum, communicate with the person they are being paid to do that for.

The sad thing is that me and everyone I mentioned in my post had been doing things the right way for ages. We gave Kiki-Kit time (more than we should've), communicated to her through the proper channels she had set up, were nice and patient and yet she never responded to any of us. It literally left us with no choice but to call her out...something none of us wanted to do!

That's what really disappoints me about it all. IDC if she was to take another year to finish my commission. It was a non time sensitive comm I just got from her cause it was a chance to support an artist I respected and admired who was going through a rough time and get a personalized art piece from them. But her lack of communicating really has been upsetting. No matter what she was going through, she could have at least made a post or update to us saying things would take time or even just not say an arbitrary completion date and then miss it with months without another update. No one would be mad at her if she just communicated with us better. That's all that this boils down to; lack of communication!

I get upset and apologize if I miss messaging someone back even for a few hours. And I feel even worse if I miss a DM or message sent my way and then see it maybe days later. None of us are after Kiki-Kit or want her to be remembered for this by the fandom. It pained me greatly to make that post. But with all that has come out, it was overdue.

I still believe she can rectify this all if she just responds and agrees to refund or complete comms from everyone still waiting, that's all it'll take. I doubt anyone will wanna buy a comm from her again who are aware of all this, but at least it's better than not responding to people who fucking paid her and are waiting!

At this point personally, I'm getting my money back from her if she does offer it and so are probably everyone else who I've spoken to. It's not something I want to do given the whole reason behind why she did those comms in the first place...but this whole situation has just left a bad taste in us all and quite frankly, we've had enough.

I just hope if or when Kiki-Kit does address this all, she does better moving forward.

[jeeaark]

Thank you so much for making these comics, they genuinely brighten up my day so much. Your art is amazing, fun, and whimsical- just what we need :)

I wish you the best of days!!!

Aw shucks! Thank you Kindly, anon!

Whimsical. I like that word. Yeah, that's on point. Help balance out the tragic bits. Story-Wise. Realsies-Wise. Always happy to cheer up anyway possible hell yeah!

[bloggingboutburgers]

I've identified as an allosexual aromantic for the longest time now, but now I feel like I may be asexual or aegosexual. I feel like I'm betraying my aroallo community in a way since we're already super underrepresented to begin with. How do I not feel bad about this?

...OK, I'm just speaking for myself here and I don't represent allosexual aromantic people per se since I'm asexual myself, but I also personally feel that what I'm about to say is sort of an obvious thing...

You don't owe anyone to identify with an orientation for the sake of representation. You're you and what works for you is what matters most. I think anybody could understand that.

Plus, you at least have some experience identifying as an allosexual aromantic, which personally makes me feel liek there's nothing stopping you from speaking up about the fact that it's an identity that exists, and remain a strong ally with the experience you have.

I don't know. I might be projecting since I'm an aromantic asexual who's planning to get married to another asexual; I'm aware on surface value that sort of negates the message that all of us have kept fighting so hard for all our lives (you don't NEED marriage to be happy and marriage is a symptom of amatonormativity) but... Also it actually doesn't? And I'm never gonna stop fighting to push that idea, despite my own experience. But because international laws are what they are, marriage is the only way I can be with my queerplatonic partner physically all the time as opposed to just a couple days a year, and I know in my guts that'll make me happy, so I'll go through with it anyway.

I can't help but feel guilty about it sometimes either. But ultimately I know I don't owe anyone anything, and the only thing I owe myself is to defend my own happiness in a way that I feel works for me. I think it oughta be the same for you too.

I know it sounds easier said than done, but I hope it can help you a little bit either way TwT

[shiny-eyed-corvid]

Hi! Your blog is lovely, and I’m a teenager looking to get into collecting found objects, but I want to know how to feel less insecure/silly doing it. I don’t live near a city, so most of what I find will probably be on hiking trails/beaches. Any tips? Also if you see this I hope you have a good day :}

hi anon! so glad to hear you like my blog + are thinking of getting into collecting as well! As far as feeling silly/insecure goes, many things that are fun can look kind of silly to a passerby. I think as long as you're having a nice time and not getting in anyone's way, there's no need to feel insecure about it, and that insecurity will wear off over time. I feel a little silly whipping out my little crow claw trongs sometimes, but I enjoy my hobby enough that I don't let that get in the way of doing it. (Plus I'm guessing most people that see me stopping on the street think I've found money on the ground or that I'm just picking up some litter or something I dropped!) It also helps that I have irl friends + a little community here that also support my hobby and are excited to hear what I've found! Finding whimsy in your environment/day-to-day life is nothing to be ashamed about! I have some tips here about finding stuff. Mostly it's just about being vigilant and checking places where things tend to get swept off to. Even places like beaches and trails have plenty of interesting stuff that people or nature has left behind. (Beachcombing is one of my favorite things.) Thank you for the kind words and happy crow finding! ✨🐦‍⬛