#wish I could just kill myself and go

[dreamyberry]

Isn’t it great when a thing which rationally thinking wouldn’t be a big deal makes you feel awful and it’s like a domino effect that pulls out all the pain buried inside you and makes your bruises burn, and everything tastes so bitter and it’s as if that time you cried a lot for no reason at 7 after having come home from a summer camp is somehow connected to all this

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

ive made two edits today. one is embarrassingly bad so ill just post the other one. this is my first time making edits so they probably suck. pls dont be mean.

people don’t talk about her trauma enough. my girl has been through sm and most people just ignore it bc theyd rather pay attention to the hawthornes.

[crustyfloor]

What is this horror that I just woke up to

Firstly, Luka's tattoo has finally been revealed (too bad it's not where I theorized it was...) Unlike the others, one detail is stark this time, that being that he was awake during the entire process. He's not even lying down when it would probably be less (by a pinch) painful, and more efficient if he did. He's watching. Even helping by keeping his shirt up.

And it seems he is still maintaining his heart rate even through the pain.

(And, expectedly he is thin so this would've hurt a lot more. I wouldn't be surprised if keeping him awake was to benefit his ability of endurance)

And we have his mugshot too. there are a lot of scribbles on his page so I tried to decipher the two clearest ones to me

LUKA - 010401 (His ID number)

And alongside that, we finally have the full cast tattoo process. (save my Till loving heart what are they doing to him.) HyunA and the girls on the top and Luka and the boys on the bottom.

On the topic that the Aliens in ALNST are horrible and can't be bothered to even put the pet humans to sleep while going through such a painful process, it doesn't look like Ivan is spared either and was also awake. otherwise, I don't know how he maintained that grip.

There's no telling for sure yet but his grip looks loose, perhaps he has a good pain tolerance.

And Till's picture. I think that's a full-body restraint right there (Like a straight jacket) If he was awake the whole time too then that's probably to be expected. There also seem to be wires around his face? a mouth gag? I can tell his is just...gonna be horrible to look at. (I am going to cause a scene. bashes my head against the concrete ARGH)

And we have everyone's mugshots, Sua -> Mizi-> Till -> Ivan -> Luka -> HyunA

(These were especially hard to read 💀 but they all seem to have their own signatures on their own pictures )

Sua (x2) - 1132 (in the circled area) - 020201 (That's close to her ID number- 020211.) - The rest is indescribable except for the "No"(?)

Another interesting part of this, we're shown Till's part of the Season 50 data book. A lot of the text is scribbled out.

Lyrics to unknown Till the end (And something scribbled out on the top) it looks like a draft copy. I can't tell if much changed from the version we have today..just got to see when the full version is out.

I tried to decipher as much as I could, take this with a grain of salt but his profile (left) is more of a teacher's note, one of his flaws being that he's aggressive, and he has a strong suit in performance. (Heavy emphasis on practicing music because his performance is his strong suit)

The C might be his overall grade, his only passing class was music.

(So many star scribbles..Mizi liked stars)

-

The album cover looks like a Brain (it reminds me of an MRI scan kinda) Is it Till's brain after all the experiments he's been through? if so, I'm not surprised it seemingly has a lot of abnormalities.

Also, the prominent signature in the middle looks a little bit Like Ivan's.

And finally the main piece, Given the similarities in data the person going through the test is still Sua.

The bandaging on her head is very confusing though, (is this the process of creating Anakt's child?) She also looks like she's yelling more than singing in this piece. (with the tight restraints it's hard to even tell but she doesn't look as relaxed as the second picture.)

Mental - Good (despite the red light?)

Cry (singing. maybe.) - Good

This could be in the literal sense that Sua was actually crying during this test, or this phase of the test. But Aliens have a warped perception of human sounds. They call crying, singing so...I don't know. If there was a lot of resistance from Sua during the earlier phases then the bandage is probably there as another restraint..so many restraints.

[bunnihearted]

can i please fucking have a best friend before i kill myself i cannot stand this loneliness anymore it isnt even funny like im actually in so much pain bc of loneliness i feel like i cant breathe and like im gonna die everything hurts so bad i cant take it i try to pretend im ok and during a little while it works but then it all comes crashing down again i literally cannot be alone anymore i will die

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[jabeur]

okay like the thing is that suicide jokes and such are probably not that bad or that big of a deal if you're not really suicidal but if you're For Real suicidal or have been before and are not doing well mentally and you keep making them and start finding comfort in the thought you could kill yourself if you wanted to. be careful

[jrueships]

Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them

[suniah]

save our daughters. i just can't anymore with the news. oh god i wish i was young.

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[flashbcaks]

sometimes.... transitioning is not an option currently. I wish all these posts telling ppl to take the initiative could take that into account.

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

bro the fact that emily use to make voice recordings explaining that jameson and grayson gave for her, did for her, and to her and send them to rebecca is just so weird. this bitch was fucking obsessed. like you need to be in a psych ward level obsessed.

[bunnihearted]

꒰୨୧꒱

[carnival-core]

Hey not to make a political post but does it ever feel like we can just never win and the suffering will be forever and we're always going to have to fight with moments of peace being fleeting and not worth looking forward to

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

hm

thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol

[mellotronmkll]

Wish I could get paid to learn languages but not teach them or translate them or analyze them or do anything with them just learn them