#will these two develop some self-preservation?

[scarebluetales]

Some thoughts I had while painting and I just wanted to dot down 🤍

While painting it, something led me to think about how Astarion would have felt when he realised his feelings for Tav and how hard it would have been for him to come to terms with it and gather the courage to confess.

I see the confession as a key moment in his character development because he had to sacrifice many things to do so.

He cast away the theatrical façade that had been his armour for so long and he left himself exposed.

I see the confession as him opening up in three fronts.

• The first one: Confessing to the manipulation.

Acceptance of guilt.

He knows Tav could -rightly so- get furious with him and reject him. Thus leaving him exposed without the much needed protection he was so desperately looking for. This goes totally against his egoistic self preservation actions we see all along act 1. And yet he confesses.

If Tav doesn't forgive him, he is noticeably heartbroken, but he understands and accepts the outcome. I love this moment because Astarion knows he could charm his way through and manipulate Tav again. Yet, he just sighs and says:

"It's a shame, but I don't want to risk treating you like you were one of his victims."

• The second one is regarding his feelings.

Self-awareness.

He confesses he's fallen for Tav and that they deserve something real, outside his theatrics and manipulations. Not only he states that Tav deserves this, but also that he wants it too. This is important because it leads to Astarion starting to truly think about who he really is -or who he wants to be- and what he wants, beyond his primal survival instincts.

• And finally, his issues towards intimacy.

Vulnerability.

He completely opens up and explains his feelings towards intimacy. This leaves him open to a deeper kind of vulnerability and the possibility of hearing from Tav that they were only interested in sleeping with him and not in putting up with all his emotional baggage and trauma. Or that they see him as something broken or defective, unworthy of love.

Yet at this moment, Tav can show him they do care for him and that they truly see him.

All in all, it feels like a collision of two inner worlds: one ruled by survival and performative charm, and then another one, new, unfamiliar and stirred by genuine connection.

Realizing he’s fallen for Tav wouldn’t have been sweet or simple. It must have felt terrifying.

Because the confession wasn't just a declaration for him, it was an act of radical vulnerability.

Revelation

This painting was based on an incredibly beautiful virtual photograph by eru_vande 🖤 I fell in love with the expression and the lighting and I was so deeply inspired.

[beauty-and-passion]

TMA - Chapters 21-30: Andorra is a beautiful place

Here I am, once again, back with 10 more TMA chapters.

Things are starting to get very, VERY interesting.

<< Main Masterlist < Previous post

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MAG 21 - Freefall

A statement all about skydiving and my mind flies to Ex Altiora. I’ll admit it: I kept wondering if the supernatural shit of this statement was related to this book in particular - or to any other book from my man Leutner.

But nope, today’s supernatural shit is something both weird and horrific at the same time: the sky itself, that ate a guy. The account is purposely left as vague as possible, with a clear emphasis on how difficult it is to describe the whole thing, but the image of the sky shifting and enveloping Robert is both beautiful and eldritch-esque. I really liked it.

And here we go again with the familiar names, this time it’s Simon Fairchild. Why is it so familiar? Why is every name so familiar?

But most importantly: how badass is he? Just think about this man, who decided to give Robert the scare of his life and not because he had something against him, but just because. And he did it, by saying the most harmless thing ever. He literally woke up and chose violence.

Also, what the heck happened in the end? Glad to know Martin is back, but what’s happening? Did he bring slugs with him? Worms? Jane Prentiss? Some other supernatural shit?

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MAG 22 - Colony

Holy shit, it really was Jane Prentiss again.

I wondered if we would’ve seen more of her victims, but I never wanted Martin to be one of them! Well, it is kind of his own fault - I mean, his zealousness is admirable, but was it really necessary to go twice into that scary basement? And he even tried to take a photo, to prove to his boss that he was not insane! Martin needs a vacation away from all this shit.

And he survived for 13 fucking days, with Jane Prentiss (who is officially a trypophobic’s nightmare) knocking at his door every now and then and one trillion worms trying to find their way inside his house - and possibly inside him too. Disgusting, draining, terrifying, hats off to him for surviving. 

So the famous stomach problems were not real: it was Jane Prentiss doing shit with Martin’s phone. And she even has the balls to write something like “Okay, sheesh, keep him”. Kind of a boss, I’ll admit it.

O-oh, what is the “Archivist’s crimson fate”? Is it a sort of “curse” placed on the Head Archivists of this Institute? Maybe that’s why Gertrude Robinson died: the man from MAG 11 tried to warn her, but it was too late and the “curse” activated before she could escape it. But considering that there are supernatural shits everywhere, is the “crimson fate” a curse or just another supernatural shit?

(Don’t you DARE to tell me any spoilers)

One last thing: John has been very understanding, which proves he’s a nice guy after all. Even if he always tells shit about Martin, this time he gave him a place in the Archives, reassured him and told him he would hire extra security too. He trusted his words. Finally, Jon is becoming a better person XD

He also mentioned a statement from Jane Prentiss herself, so if I’m getting this series right, I guess MAG 23 will be about that statement.

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MAG 23 - Schwartzwald

It wasn’t Jane Prentiss’ statement. Sad :(

But we got a statement given to Jonah Magnus - who I suppose is the founder of the Institute. Pretty cool.

Okay, so we have the tomb of this Johann von Württemberg guy, a man with no eyes, a disappeared coin, a mysterious book and a lot of eyes again. The book immediately made me think of my man Leutner, while the eyes are a constant reminder of MAG 11/all other MAGs before & after and I am 100% sure these eyes are part of some other supernatural shit we still have to see. Is it related to the “Archivist’s crimson fate”, maybe? Only time will tell.

Here we are, the most important part of the statement: Albrecht is ready to enter the mausoleum, even if a weird guy gave him a weirder warning. The tension builds, Albrecht is here, he lights his lantern… and then we have Martin, who is apparently walking around the Archives naked and I burst out laughing because I just had this wonderful image of Jon all focused on the statement, while Martin is chilling around wearing nothing but his boxers. Best way to build the tension and break it at the same time, 10/10, kudos to the author of this series for doing that, it was the funniest shit ever.

MY (WO)MAN MARY KEAY. Don’t be silly, Jon, of course it’s not a coincidence - there are no coincidences in this series. This woman is the mother of my man Gerard, I am 100% sure. And I love how the Keays have always been involved with supernatural shits, ever since their ancestor Albrecht. It kinda explains why Gerard is always around them. It’s not that he doesn’t have anything better to do: it's literally part of his DNA.

And it could also explain why he’s searching for Leutner’s books: maybe the one in Johann von Württemberg’s tomb really was a Leutner’s book and Gerard is searching for all others.

That's very, very interesting.

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MAG 24 - Strange Music

A weird calliope organ and some murderous clown dolls. Not the most exciting story ever but hey, at least there are a couple interesting things here:

We hear Sasha for the first time and she appears for the most useless speech ever. I hope she will be more useful in the future. And Jon is sarcastic with her too, which proves to me that he’s not an ass: just a typical British guy XD (my dear Brits, you had it coming XD Don’t take me seriously, we’re all bros here <3)

Someone “legitimate” took the calliope. And my mind flies to our favorite delivery company “Breekon and Hope Deliveries”.

The Circus of the Other. What the heck is the “Other”? My bet is another supernatural shit.

Holy shit the organ is in the Institute?! Was it the Breekon and Hope Deliveries to deliver it or did the Institute take it?

Is there something Elias knows for sure, or all he knows is that things are “maybe/probably somewhere”? This man is useless XD

Now that I think about it: Elias is the head of the Institute, right? So he bought it from some of Magnus’ successors, I suppose. Now, does he know about the “Archivist’s crimson fate”? If this “fate” is some sort of curse that takes all Head Archivists, it probably took more Head Archivists before Gertrude Robinson, right? And Elias never asked himself why all these Archivists were casually dying under his nose?

Or maybe I’m getting it all wrong and the “crimson fate” isn’t a curse that affects all Head Archivists. Well, then I have another unrelated question: how's it possible that the goddamn Head of the Institute knows nothing of his Institute? How involved is Elias in the Institute and its organization?

There are still many missing things and I can’t wait to connect them all.

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MAG 25 - Growing Dark

The statement itself isn’t very interesting, just “guy finds some random shit in a dark creepy place”, but there are a few details that caught my attention.

First of all, here we are again with a closed eye. I suppose that the People’s Church of the Divine Host and these Hither Green Dissenters are all part of the same gang, considering they both share closed eyes as their symbol. Also, now there’s Alesund mentioned too. Is this the birthplace of the supernatural shit they all worship? And are closed and open eyes related to the same supernatural shit or they're two different shits?

We also have the exact date in which Gertrude Robinson died: May 15th, 2015. And this is a problem for me, because I don’t remember any date and I suck with dates in general, unless I have a scheme/timeline/whatever. So tell me: should I do a timeline?

Fuck, I’ll do it anyway.

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MAG 26 - A Distortion

Holy shit. HOLY. SHIT.

*I think I’ve finally found my Michael. And it’s not Michael Getty, Michael Crew or Michael Whatever: it’s Michael the Supernatural Shit. And I love him. I mean, he is:

a chill guy, who buys flowers and drinks coffee

a poet, considering that when Sasha asked him what he is, he said: “How would a melody describe itself when asked?”. Best way to answer, he’s amazing, I’m in love

a cool boy who is creepy as fuck while not appearing creepy at all

probably the guy “with all the bones in his hands” mentioned in MAG 8

a good boyo who wants to help

*I wrote a timeline just in time, because as soon as I heard the name Timothy Hodge, I instantly remembered he was from MAG 6. The timeline is useful: I will keep updating it, then.

*Poor Martin is being stalked by the goddamn colony of silver worms. Martin, I think it's time for a vacation far away from all these supernatural shits. What about Andorra? Andorra is between the mountains, so good luck finding it. The population is less than 90k, so basically there are more people in my backyard than in the entire state. And it’s in the Pyrenees, so I’m pretty sure the nights are probably shorter than in Norway.

Think about it, Martin: no supernatural shits, no worms, long days. And spas. They have spas too.

I dream this for Martin.

*Two statements ago I asked for Sasha to be more useful and here she is. She is useful indeed! Thank you for your service, Sasha: you finally gave me my Michael and you’ve probably saved Jon’s life. Great job.

But you know how you can save everyone's life even more? Move to Andorra. They also have traditions related to fire and burning things, just in case some worms find you. Listen to me and run away from all this shit.

Andorra is a wonderful place.

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MAG 27 - A Sturdy Lock

Another not-very-interesting story, just “supernatural shit knocks at my door during the night”. Also, it comes after that bomb that was MAG 26, so the backlash is even stronger. I mean, after all the shit Sasha told him, Jon thought it was a great idea to record another statement. Seriously?!

Andorra, Jon. Andorra is a nice place to live.

Also, who the heck is Sarah Carpenter? Is she important too? Should I remember her too?

Even more important, what does that mean that Mr. McKenzie’s bedroom door “does not have a keyhole or a lock”? Was his door just a wood panel? Did it have only a handle? I’m kinda confused by this, honestly, but maybe it’s just me not being able to visualize it.

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MAG 28 - Skintight

The statement isn’t particularly captivating, but Sarah Baldwin peeling off her skin and putting it back is a bit creepy, I’ll accept it.

Also, since Jon said she was in some previous statements, I searched for her and here she was, among all the missing people mentioned in MAG 1: disappeared in August 2006, while this statement is from April 2016. So the girl here clearly isn’t Sarah Baldwin.

That kinda explains her weird words about trespassing: she (it?) was probably apologizing to another supernatural shit in the hospital for entering their territory. But if I’m right, that means every supernatural shit has a territory like mafia bosses and no one can invade them? Or maybe this applies to some supernatural shits and not others. Maybe there is a hierarchy or similar and the most powerful can do whatever they want and go whenever they want, while others control specific, limited territories. Can’t wait to find out.

_______________________________

MAG 29 - Cheating Death

Oh, that was interesting! So, according to this statement, when you win death, you become death. Until someone else wins, then they become the new death and you turn back into a human, but you’re immortal. Very cool, a good variation to the topic of defeating death/cheating death/immortality.

Once again, the series listens to me and provides an answer to my questions: I wanted to know more about Elias and here we find out he was a filing clerk when Gertrude Robinson was still alive.

Well, this explains why Elias never cared about other Head Archivists before Getrude: he was just a clerk. Maybe he wasn’t even hired yet, when there was someone before her.

This also explains why he doesn’t know a lot of things: he was just a clerk, after all.

Still, it’s very weird that he managed to go from filing clerk to goddamn head of the Institute in the span of nothing. What happened to the previous head of the Institute? Did they die too, along with all the previous staff members? How? And only Elias survived this unexplained massacre? That’s very, very suspicious. If I were Jon, I would ask Elias a couple of things.

But if I were Jon, I would’ve already moved away from all this shit, so I wouldn’t ask anything anyway.

_______________________________

MAG 30 - Killing Floor

I’ll quote Jon for this one: “Hmm. More meat. Interesting.”

Is meat part of another supernatural shit? Should I be scared by it? In this case, it kinda failed to do so. I mean, this isn't a bad statement… just a little meh. After all, it’s just an endless slaughterhouse featuring the Obligatory Dead Guy. Nothing truly amazing.

And it’s kinda sad, because we had MAG 26 and now this post ends not with a bang, but with a meh. Sad :(

But even more sad is that Jon, despite all of this, is still recording statements.

Listen to me, Jon. Andorra is a nice place to live.

_______________________________

In conclusion

So, that's my theory for now:

There are a lot of different supernatural shits in this world. Some are more powerful and can do whatever they want, others are “minor” and they control smaller territories.

The Magnus Institute contains the worst/more powerful supernatural shit of them all. The Lukas family took/found this shit in Norway and decided it was very cool - but a little hungry too, so let’s close it in the Institute and let’s use the Institute as a huge “feeder” to feed it.

This supernatural shit is what Jane Prentiss referred to as the “Archivist’s crimson fate”. Every Head Archivist is somehow “cursed” to become food for this thing. That’s what happened to Gertrude Robinson, that’s what happened to her staff and that’s what happened to the staff before them.

Elias somehow survived and either 1) he turned into a supporter of the Lukas family or 2) he’s used as bait to find more people to feed to the supernatural shit.

How much of this is right? How much is wrong? Only time will tell me :D

Speaking of Jonathan: my man, I’m a skeptical person too, so I understand that you’re skeptical. But you literally have silver worms everywhere, someone threatened you via Martin’s phone, the most reasonable member of your staff told you she met a supernatural shit in real life and the supernatural shit confirmed something bad will happen to you. And after all of this, you are still recording statements as if it’s nothing?! My man, that’s not being skeptical, that’s not having any self-preservation instinct at all! First Martin threw himself into a basement that screamed “DANGER HERE”, now you're ignoring all red flags, wow you’re perfect for each other…

Wait... wait... are you two the homoerotic couple? Are you two gonna fall in love? I’ll admit it, it would be very funny if it’s you two. But, again, only time will tell.

So let’s wait and see what will happen: will my theories be correct? Will Michael the Supernatural Shit become Best Boyo of the series? Will my man Leutner still wreak havoc all over the world? Will Gerard come back to deal with this shit like he always does? How many more iconic weirdos will I find in the next 10 episodes? Will Jane Prentiss still haunt these poor people?

And most importantly: when will Jon and his staff finally listen to me and move to a better place?

>> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

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[reasonsforhope]

"Cody Two Bears, a member of the Sioux tribe in North Dakota, founded Indigenized Energy, a native-led energy company with a unique mission — installing solar farms for tribal nations in the United States.

This initiative arises from the historical reliance of Native Americans on the U.S. government for power, a paradigm that is gradually shifting.

The spark for Two Bears' vision ignited during the Standing Rock protests in 2016, where he witnessed the arrest of a fellow protester during efforts to prevent the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline on sacred tribal land.

Disturbed by the status quo, Two Bears decided to channel his activism into action and create tangible change.

His company, Indigenized Energy, addresses a critical issue faced by many reservations: poverty and lack of access to basic power.

Reservations are among the poorest communities in the country, and in some, like the Navajo Nation, many homes lack electricity.

Even in regions where the land has been exploited for coal and uranium, residents face obstacles to accessing power.

Renewable energy, specifically solar power, is a beacon of hope for tribes seeking to overcome these challenges.

Not only does it present an environmentally sustainable option, but it has become the most cost-effective form of energy globally, thanks in part to incentives like the Inflation Reduction Act of 2022.

Tribal nations can receive tax subsidies of up to 30% for solar and wind farms, along with grants for electrification, climate resiliency, and energy generation.

And Indigenized Energy is not focused solely on installing solar farms — it also emphasizes community empowerment through education and skill development.

In collaboration with organizations like Red Cloud Renewable, efforts are underway to train Indigenous tribal members for jobs in the renewable energy sector.

The program provides free training to individuals, with a focus on solar installation skills.

Graduates, ranging from late teens to late 50s, receive pre-apprenticeship certification, and the organization is planning to launch additional programs to support graduates with career services such as resume building and interview coaching...

The adoption of solar power by Native communities signifies progress toward sustainable development, cultural preservation, and economic self-determination, contributing to a more equitable and environmentally conscious future.

These initiatives are part of a broader movement toward "energy sovereignty," wherein tribes strive to have control over their own power sources.

This movement represents not only an economic opportunity and a source of jobs for these communities but also a means of reclaiming control over their land and resources, signifying a departure from historical exploitation and an embrace of sustainable practices deeply rooted in Indigenous cultures."

-via Good Good Good, December 10, 2023

[rotagnus]

general pick-a-pile messages--<3

for those who are lost; you shall find your way.

pile 1.

why do you alternate between the bad and the good? you are duality. the first message i have for you is short and sweet; there is a good middle between the two sides you're stuck on. you see things in a very narrow way, you think that things are entirely one or the other. this is not true. do not cage the world, do not cage yourself. lately you've been calling things out, seeing, watching. you're an observant person. travel may be significant, particularly during stormy weather; be safe. i feel like a lot of you are struggling with decisions in matters of the heart. your gut is telling you one thing, but to preserve your morals, or perhaps to protect someone, you feel like you must choose the other option. i think you should follow your heart--it does not lie. you cannot always be the shield that gets chipped and broken down while the other person cowers behind you. a lot of you have been cutting things away from your life, and now you face an emptiness that leaves you stunned. perhaps some of you have cleaned out your room, and found some things that made you reminisce on the past. do not get lost in it. you are better off now. you may have missed a person recently, wished you could hold them in your heart again, but this would cause turmoil. do not go back. never, ever, especially not now. keep your head up. you must pursue your passions, now, i am hearing. many of you are scared, maybe going off to a new place, where you do not know a lot of things. you aren't good with change, never have been, but now is your chance to grow, to blossom. you are a lotus; blossoming even in the dirtiest of waters. you will be okay. right now, try to worship your material world; not in the way you think, but you must take care of your body, your environment. these things will dictate the way everything else turns out to you.

signs: clownfish. parrots. 'regardless'. dying star. rebirth. foals. nakedness. annotations. snow. staircases. chin.

pile 2.

you and someone else in your life are going through it. you probably know who i'm talking about. you may be feeling drained, empty, lost. truth is, there is somewhere you can go to recover. think of a gas station after a long journey. it is a humble place, by no means a castle, but it still brings some relief to your tired self. right now, think of something that can shelter you; perhaps a hobby, perhaps it is even a cup of tea. what wonders that can bring; sit in front of a window, and have your favorite drink. think. the answers are within. you are a giving person, and now, you will be given to. you bring things into your life by giving them first; you and the universe are holding hands. think about what you want in your life, then put the effort into it. i cannot emphasize this enough--do the work, do the change. a lot of you are terrified of failure, terrified of trying and ending up on the ground. this will not end in tragedy, you must try, we are all like fledglings when we try something for the first time. a lot of you would have a good result if you developed a routine. mirror work, affirmations, yoga, even doing something specific every day at the same time would make you feel a bit better, would let you rest a little bit through this disorder. it is not forever, my love. this, too, shall pass. you will be able to rest, soon. think of a bear; it moves around a lot before it can hibernate. it must look for food in a frenzy. then, it can rest. now i know this may not be ecologically accurate, but i hope for the sake of me, you can understand what i mean. you will develop your looks soon, too. a lot of you have beautiful bare faces and shy away from that. now, i am not one to police what women do with their faces; but for those who are insecure, my specific message is that you are beautiful, much more ethereal than you think. do not worry about it, okay? a lot of you have been in your masculine energy lately. relax. you are safe. let yourself back into your feminine energy, okay? i promise you, you are protected by God/the universe. lean back. it'll get easier, my dearest. i promise.

signs: bats. snakes. typically dark creatures. rainbows. roses. 'for you i am soft'. bugs. babies. innocence. sunsets/sunrises. hearts.

pile 3.

you are so motherly, but not to yourself. it's funny, you view yourself as harsher than you are. maybe you have a tough exterior, and you worry that people see you as too mannish, too brutish, but my message for you is that people see your true self peeking through. do not fear, my sweetest. wow, the world fell out. yes, you are a contradicting person--terrified of vulnerability and softness, yet naive and chaste, viewing your life with an optimistic lens. your heart is pure, so pure, and while you do struggle with opening up, you're entirely willing to do so around the right people. a lot of you struggled with this in the past due to insecurity, or perhaps being in circumstances that created trouble. abusive situations, family troubles, fake friends...you have faced your fair share of pain, my darling. recently you've been thinking very much. i feel like this has been a very good development, as this journey has been able to move forwards with this; soon, your rewards shall come to you. you are brave, but you do not always have to fight. you can drop your hands and fall to the ground, but you will be caught. i was thinking about how funny it'd be if the lovers fell out, and guess what, they did! so yes, i feel like some opportunities are coming to you guys. some of you don't want to be in a relationship at all, and that is okay. i feel like love will come to you in the form that you crave it. and for others, if it is romantic, do not rush this. work on yourself and make sure that you are truly happy with yourself, truly able to open up and bloom. this person will be nurturing, kind, with a heart of gold; the opposite of you but in all the best ways. pisces/water signs may be significant. he is gentle, and he is very willing to care for you. you'll be safe.

signs: foxes. dirty blonde hair. swans. joan of arc. night. trees. missing. light pink. april. 333. action. oceans.

[makairodonx]

Coming right around the Chinese New Year, top to bottom, are two highly scientifically-important dinosaurs hailing from the Aptian-aged (125-118 mya) Jiufotang Formation of China’s Liaoning Province:

Microraptor zhaoianus ranks alongside the late Jurassic Archaeopteryx and the closely-related Sinornithosaurus as one of the first theropod dinosaurs ever to have discovered with full feather and wing impressions. It measured about 80 cm (2.6ft) in length, had a wingspan of 99 cm (3.25 ft) and weighed about 1.25-1.88 kg, sported a uniquely black but iridescent plumage, and is the namesake of the Microraptoridae, a family of raven-sized dromaeosaurs that dominated the Jehol Biota of the Jiufotang and Yixian Formations and are particularly famous for sporting long flight feathers on both their legs and limbs. This “four-winged” configuration, which surprisingly resembles the hypothetical “Tetrapteryx” stage of bird evolution proposed by naturalist William Beebe in 1915, enabled Microraptor and its kin to glide from tree to tree in pursuit of small birds, lizards and mammals as well as achieving some sort of powered flight over short distances.

Psittacosaurus is a basal ceratopsian that is closer in phylogeny to creatures like Styracosaurus and Triceratops than to the more primitive Yinlong from the late Jurassic, and is one of the most well-preserved and best-studied genera of all non-avian dinosaurs. It reached the size of a pig or a retriever dog and lived throughout much of continental Eastern Asia 125-105 million years ago, and is known for having the most species described of any non-avian dinosaur, with 12 different species ranging from as far north as Siberia to as far south as Thailand. Two of these species were both found in the Jiufotang Formation - P.melieyingensis and P.mongoliensis, the type species which measured up to 2 meters (6.2 ft) long and weighed about 80 kg (44 lb). Psittacosaurus had highly-developed senses of smell and vision, a pair of protruding jugal (cheek) bones that were possibly used for display, and was active for short periods at day or night. Psittacosaurus also possessed self-sharpening teeth that were used for cropping and slicing tough plants, and unlike future ceratopsians, it lacked teeth for chewing and grinding food and thus used gastroliths (which would have been stored in a gizzard similar to those of modern birds) to wear down the leaves and bark that it ate as it passed through the digestive system. Psittacosaurus is also unique among ceratopsians for having a large, well-proportioned brain. This indicates that the dinosaur was capable of doing a wide range of complex social behaviors such as bird-like sleeping, nest-building and parental care. This is perhaps true with possible instances of overburdened Psittacosaurus parents brining in a nanny or another guardian to take care of large nests of more than a dozen hatchlings, as evidenced of fossils of adolescent females preserved with several hatchlings together. The Psittacosaurus of the Jiufotang Formation shared their temperate forest habitat with the basal ankylosaur Chuanqilong, several genera and species of paravians and pterosaurs, a large titanosaur, and the 10-meter-long Yutyrannus relative Sinotyrannus, and Psittacosaur hatchlings and occasionally adults were also preyed upon by the large, badger-like mammal Repenomamus. One fossil Psittacosaurus specimen that is on display at a German museum (SMF R 4970) preserves the scales, colors and integument that the living animal would have had, and they indicate that the particular Psittacosaurus had a counter-shaded reddish brown and beige pattern that was blurrier and less-defined compared to the striking orange-and-white colors of Sinosauropteryx (which was suited for a lifestyle of foraging in open areas) and was therefore useful for camouflaging the Psittacosaurus in the woods. The specimen also possessed a strange crest of yellow, keratinized, bristle-like structures protruding from the base of its tail that were quite similar to the thin, filamentous structures found on the heterodontosaurid Tianyulong, which also possibly indicates that feather-like structures or proto-feathers may have appeared early in the evolutionary history of the dinosaurs and were soon lost in the evolution of some dinosaur groups or retained in some form in the evolution of others.

[sillysiluriforme]

What are the effects the user gets from using these two new miraculous

Miracle exposure symptoms depend on a lot of thing and one major factor is the way the holder perceives their miraculous ! Marinette doesn’t see the glamour in being a holder like her friends do so her symptoms tend to manifest more.

Marinette after using the bear, the kwami of intimidation, for enough time would likely be much more irritable. She might experience a loss in empathy and an increase in lethargy. She might get a little rough. She probably wouldn’t enjoy its powers much anyway. She feels heavy with it. Too slow. Too spooky.

The lamb, aka the kwami of sacrifice, brings out Adrien’s martyr complex. He’d eventually start losing most of his self preservation instincts. He might get a little clingy ! Adrien is very prone to clinical lycanthropy so he might develop some separation anxiety? Restlessness ect. Maybe eat grass.

[loveanddeephistory]

LaDs x Archaeologist! Reader

While Rafayel absolutely would have an interesting dynamic, what about the other lads? This is gonna be a loose version of canon, reader remains childhood friends/having grown up with Caleb and Zayne. Bulleted headcanons

WC: 2.7k

✨Xavier✨

✨ This man is OLD. He has SEEN SOME SHIT. He’s been on this planet for over two hundred years, depending on where he lived and bounced around across the world he’d absolutely have bared witness to the development of anthropology and archaeology. Whether or not he paid much attention to it is another question.

✨Since you’re not a hunter, the next most likely place to meet Xavier as an archaeologist would be the library or a local museum. He’s been going through some old items, and realized he had some old momentos he didn’t feel the need to keep anymore. Rather than throw them away, he asked if the museum may be interested. You’re working as a consultant when he walks in.

✨While curation and collections work are not on your resume, you help the director anyway, sorting through the relics of a forgotten age. The handsome young (looking) man is quiet, but would answer questions as asked. ✨ You find out he’s a Deepspace Hunter. And a UNICORNS member at that. You try to thank him and ask about his job, but he shoots you down and instead asks about yours.

✨What was supposed to be an hour to assess what items the museum might take turned into multiple hours. Xavier didn’t seem keen on discussing his connections to the items in front of him, brushing them off as old trinkets great aunts, uncles, and other relatives passed down. But when you began to discuss the history and context behind them? Those big blue eyes started to sparkle like the stars in the night sky.

“I… didn’t think people still cared about those kinds of things.” He murmured, sliding his thumb across an object, wiping away a small layer of dust. You flash him a grin, snapping on the archival gloves to handle some of the more sensitive matters.

“I do. It’s my job to. I work more in the field, but I pitch in at museums where I can. Finding the stuff is good and all, but giving it a proper home where it will be cared for and preserved for future generations is just as important.”

✨ Consider his interest piqued. ✨Long, constant missions don’t leave him much time to hang around. But it isn’t the last time you see him. He seems to pick up odd jobs everywhere, when he wasn’t on a mission or fast asleep somewhere. One time he was handing out fliers, another he was running a second hand book store. But every time you saw him, he’d stop you to ask about the collection he left. About any excavations you’d been on, or research you’d done.

✨ He might not talk much about himself, potentially making you self conscious that you’re talking about yourself too often, but he’s just enthralled. He’d spent 214 years on this planet, and oh how times had changed in those two centuries. But your passion for the past, the one he knew and the one long before him? It frees him in.

✨ Expect him to “just so happen” to drop by the first time you’re on a long term excavation far from Linkon. He brushes off any questions of ‘how did you know I was here’ or ‘how did you get clearance for this’ with just flashing his UNICORNS identification. Wanderers, metaflux, you know the drill

✨Oh but the one time there was a Wanderer that showed up during an excavation? He was there in a heartbeat. ✨ Your passion for the past and the beauty of its preservation for the present and future caught his eye. While you might not have mummies or sorcerers chasing you down, there were real threats that did exist. But your fellow history fan had your back, from that point on.

🐠 Rafayel 🐠

🐠For a more in depth exploration, check out Trowels and Scales

🐠You two meet while you’re doing research on Lemuria, preparing for an underwater excavation. He’s polite but none too pleased.

🐠I mean, puh-lease, you think he’s gonna let this stinky human anywhere near his homeland? An archaeologist no less? Absolutely not

🐠He’s well read. He knows his history. He was present for it, anyway. He knows archaeology. He knows archaeologists. Just a fancy human way to say “thieving culture vultures with a dash of supremacy”. Absolutely not.

🐠That being said? He keeps an eye on you. Watches you from afar. You get spooked when the first phase of the Lemurian excavation goes south, so he takes that as a good sign.

🐠But still. He needs to keep an eye on you. But the more he does, and the more he “accidentally” runs into you, the more he finds his thoughts being challenged.

🐠You insisted on working alongside the community. You insisted on working with them, not against them, on being respectful.

🐠He doesn’t know what to think of you. You’re earnest. But you’re human! You’re an archaeologist! But the more he learns, the more he sees, the more he finds… he realizes you’re serious.

🐠He doesn’t open up fast. Far from it. It’s little tests here and there, seeing if you’re serious. His trust is hard to come by. But damn, you manage to get it. 🐠Maybe you’re useful in the long run. Having an archaeologist helping him? Good. It’s been a long time coming.

🐠But you’re cute. Really cute. That passion, your fervor for doing the right thing, for history and art…

🐠 Maybe there’s something here. Maybe. Now to get rid of that fake pearl around your neck…

❄️Zayne❄️

❄️ He was always quick to defend you growing up if other kids on the block made fun of you for your nerdy interests. An icy stare usually made them shut up.

❄️He had to admit, he liked the thought of you both being ‘doctors’ some day together. Him, cardiac surgery. You, archaeology. A social science is still a science, though you didn’t need to go to med school.

❄️You two lost touch when he moved away, only to meet again at a conference you both had been invited to. He was thoroughly surprised to see you.

❄️You could see the scars peeking out from under the sleeves of his collared shirt. He caught you staring, and at first cleared his throat while looking away. You merely rolled up your own sleeves, showing off the multitude of scars on your own forearms.

❄️”We match.” It was a surprise. While he knew your discipline meant the hazard of injury while in the field, he certainly hadn’t expected this. Your arms and hands were littered with small and big scars. As his eyes trailed over each one you smiled and pointed out what each one was from.

❄️Machete mishaps, things falling, accidents with students, a sharp tape measure retracted a little too close to skin (yes this has happened to me 🫠)

❄️Zayne didn’t know if he should scold you for being reckless, scold the people around you for being reckless, or both.

❄️He did both.

❄️The organizers noticed your chemistry and found out about your history together, and asked if you’d be interested in running a joint panel about the evolution of medical history, starting with what’s been found in ancient archaeological digs vs modern medicine. You agreed to make it a joint project for the conference the following year.

❄️Which meant meeting up on your days off (which were few and far between for the both of you), getting some drinks and macarons at his favorite bakery.

❄️Once the time came, it was one of the most anticipated cross-disciplinary panels to be hosted. Attended by medical students, anthropologists, archaeologists, and people just generally interested.

❄️You brought in some physical anthropologists to balance the history with the anatomy, while Zayne brought some of his colleagues with knowledge of old medical pathways.

❄️The whole event was a smashing success, praised across discipline for its thoroughness and its importance. Medical students understood the significance of the history of medicine, while anthropologists learned something new about the modern medical system.

❄️While schedules remained tight, your meetings with Dr. Zayne remained constant. Meeting up for drinks, macarons, and to review each others academic papers.

❄️Oh, and if you do pursue your doctorate? Know for a fact he’ll be there for your dissertation, front row, already wanting to rehost that panel once you’re a Dr. too

🐦‍⬛ Sylus 🐦‍⬛

🐦‍⬛I need to find and tag that person who said we should let Sylus loose on the British Museum, please let me know if you know who that person is because they’re RIGHT

🐦‍⬛Let’s say you two meet under… unsavory circumstances.

🐦‍⬛You were working on a high prestige excavation, only to find some of the precious jewels uncovered to have been stolen. Now this was a very important heritage site to the local community so on top of being frustrated and angry, you’re downright heartbroken.

🐦‍⬛You hear through the grapevine the thieves have an auction set up at the nest in Linkon. It’s ballsy, but you’re pissed enough as is, so you get yourself an invitation and show up.

🐦‍⬛No one recognized you (easy to get away with since you weren’t covered in the muck and grime of an excavation) so you watched and bide your time.

🐦‍⬛The auction starts, and already the price is high. People are bidding all over the place, and you just have to grind your teeth as you take mental notes to report this to the authorities. But you knew if it crossed the line into the N109 zone, it would likely never be seen again.

🐦‍⬛Finally, the highest bidder won. 5 million. Five. Million. Everyone else was bidding in the thousands, disappointing the thieves greatly, until a single low voice called out his number. The thieves not so subtly rejoiced.

🐦‍⬛You watch as a huge man slowly sidled up to where the jewel rested. His white hair and red eyes glowed in the low light of the club, and you nearly broke your martini glass. Typical rich assholes thinking they could just buy and sell precious relics with no regard to who they really belonged to.

🐦‍⬛You’d seen enough. You paid your tab and made your way out, ready to report this to the authorities when a black mist covered your mouth and pulled you backwards. You couldn’t scream. You couldn’t run. 🐦‍⬛”Don’t think I didn’t see you eyeing these new jewels, sweetie.” That same low, baritone voice from the auction caught your attention. The black mist around your mouth vanished as the man cockily walked towards you, the jeweled draped over his hand. “I haven’t seen you here before. What are you?”

🐦‍⬛You knew better. You really did. You knew to keep your mouth shut. But you didn’t. You scoffed. “Just the person who found those jewels.”

“This isn’t finders, keepers, sweetie. I paid for these fair and square.”

“And those thieves that pawned them off to you stole them from an archaeological site! Those belong to their proper community.” You spat back. “I don’t want them. I want them to go back to where they do belong.”

🐦‍⬛There was a beat. A pause. In the shadows of the alley you couldn’t quite see his eyes. But the mist holding your wrists together dissipated as well. You didn’t make any stupid moves, gently rubbing your wrists as he simply hummed.

🐦‍⬛”I didn’t realize your kind were so… altruistic nowadays.” You scoffed.

🐦‍⬛”Times have changed. That doesn’t belong to you, or me, or those thieves. You’re right, this isn’t finders keepers. We’re not children.”

🐦‍⬛He walks off without another word, going back inside. You take the opportunity to get the hell out of dodge, before filing a police report.

🐦‍⬛You were thoroughly surprised the very next day to have your phone blown up by your contacts from that community, thrilled that some Good Samaritan returned the jewels in the night. The thieves had been apprehended and revealed to be smugglers who did this at multiple sites. You refused to take credit, that wasn’t you. But, who was it? It couldn’t have been that big man from the nest.

🐦‍⬛You started feeling watched from that point on. You’d catch glimpses of a crow tailing you. Hanging out outside your home.

🐦‍⬛Next excavation you were on confirmed your suspicions that the odd man with the white hair was your newfound hero. Another attempted robbery happened- only for the artifacts to be returned, the thieves dropped off with the police, and a note.

🐦‍⬛”Keep your sparkly things under lock and key, I could suggest a few supplies. -S”

🐦‍⬛ Whoever this ‘S’ man was, he seemed to have a vested interest in the proper homes for artifacts. So even with that crow following you around, it became a new sense of peace.

🐦‍⬛Sylus found you interesting. Very interesting. He returned that necklace and got his money back from those vagrants. Thievery wasn’t something that inherently bothered him. But preying on a community and stealing their artifacts? Absolutely not. He’s killed for less.

🐦‍⬛It takes him back to his space pirate days for a minute. This was a lot less showy than the last time he dealt with repatriating goods, but it got the job done. Now that you’d caught his eye, he had something much more valuable than any needless trinket.

🍎 Caleb 🍎

🍎Do you really think he doesn’t remember how you’ve wanted to do this since you were a child??? Come on. This is Caleb we’re talking about, here!

🍎Every history project, every mathematical equation, your college application, your grad school application. It got harder as you both got older, with him in the DAA. But he did his best to be as present as he could, to be a call away for any help you might need.

🍎But, secretly? He wouldn’t mind if you faltered somewhere along the way. Not that he didn’t want you to succeed! Not in the slightest.

🍎But the job was hard. Long, unforgiving. Publish or perish. You were stressed enough, and the weight of your pasts weighed heavily on his shoulders. A small part of him felt bitter. Why would you return to the world of science, when it had done you two so much harm? Not that you remembered.

🍎Then again… that passion. That commitment. The way your eyes lit up when you passionately told him one day you’d be off exploring the world, making new finds… how could he ever deny you? He couldn’t.

🍎So he helped look over your applications to suggest word changes. He helped coach you through it. While dendrochronology and radiocarbon dating might make his head spin, he listened to every word, more than happy to just be your duck so you could figure out the problem on your own.

🍎He cleared his schedule to come and watch you defend your thesis after grad school. He had a bouquet of flowers at the ready, already knowing you’d pass with flying colors.

🍎He’d be the first to know of every find. Every new gig. Your first excavation out of school, your squeals of excitement just made his life light up.

“Y’know, pipsqueak, one of the benefits of havin’ your own personal pilot is bein’ able to get to these gigs faster, and with better company!”

“Caleb!” You laugh, still thrilled and giggly over the newest job. The thrill of the work hadn’t yet faded. He hoped it never did, if it meant hearing you laugh like that. “You can’t ditch work every time I get a new job!”

“Yeahhhh? Wanna bet?” The playful lilt in his voice just made you grin harder, your cheeks hurting.

🍎Of course, he still ran background checks on every one of your coworkers. Every time you complained about a chauvinistic man in your crew he’d handle it himself.

🍎He’d watch closely, making sure he’d be the first to know if your signal got too faint while in a remote part of the site. And if there was ever an emergency, he’d often know before the supervisor of the site did. He’d be calling nonstop, asking if he needs to fly down there, sometimes not bothering to wait to ask.

🍎He’d let you do your job. You were so proud of yourself, so fiercely independent. But you were still that little pipsqueak he knew and loved. And no matter what, no matter where you were in the world, he’d come to you. Access and permissions be damned.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

"I won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me" I imagine this as Sebastian saying it to Reader. But the thought of the reader saying it to Sebastian after he wakes from a night terror (in this scenario, they have escaped Urbanshade) is very sweet to me

True to their word, they got you out.

You and Sebastian were finally free from Urbanshade's horrors.

Innovation Inc. managed to extract enough data from all the loose assets you've given to him to formulate an escape plan.

Thank god you have connections to the labs, otherwise you would have been just as doomed as any other EXR-P.

But you were more relieved that Sebastian didn't have to stay trapped in that place anymore. He didn't have to move from place to place and fight to survive constantly.

Even better?

There was actually a way for him to become human again.

Urbanshade deemed him too far gone in his mutation to reverse the countless painful surgical processes they put him through....but they were nothing but liars who didn't see the point of investing in the resources needed.

They could have done it all along.

Innovation, on the other hand, got every bit of data on the experiments that they needed, going right to work on him as soon as you both arrived to the labs.

Obviously, he resisted at first...as all the trauma he experienced from before didn't go away instantly.

He was afraid of another surgery, being touched and injected with foreign substances and restrained. Not to mention the heavily potent anesthesia he needed since he's developed such a strong immunity to it.

But you convinced him that if he hoped to become human--he needed this.

It took a week or two, with him being in and out of the operating room and you trying to pass the time by chatting with your colleagues about exposing Urbanshade's secrets to the world..but eventually they did it.

They gave him legs again. HIs ear fins were now back to being human ears--and anything else that made him look like an anglerfish was removed and replaced with stitched flesh. His third arm was amputated but preserved for future study.

Somehow, they even got his size to shrink. No longer was he a gigantic beast, but instead an actual human-sized person who got to sleep on the bed beside you.

The only things left of his previous self were some of his sharp teeth (which he didn't mind keeping) and his skin still bearing a somewhat light blue tint to it, although it was not as pale.

It was incredible.

He cried the first time he saw himself.

He felt..human, again. And you were happy for him.

Although...

While he was getting better physically, no amount of surgeries would be able to get rid of the emotional pain Urbanshade and the criminal justice system had put him through.

From getting an unjust sentence for something he didn't even do to screaming in horror at his monstrous reflection for the first time...all of those events still like to replay in his mind.

Not to mention he conditioned himself into never letting his guard down for any reason.

He'd wake up if he heard somebody so much as cough in the next room or squeak their shoes a little too loudly.

While the hardest part was over, it was still going to be a long and agonizing recovery process for him.

Tonight, however, Sebastian was sound asleep, whereas you were sitting at the nearby desk, pencil scratching at the notebook in your hand. You were just trying to brainstorm ways to get Painter and Eyefestation out and away from the Blacksite.

Of course those two were nothing short of a nuisance during your many runs to escape with the Crystal...but Sebastian considered them friends, as they were the only ones who could communicate with him and never tried eating him. So you did feel a little bad for leaving them behind.

You were sure Eyefestation was put out of her misery, knowing that she couldn't swim very far up due to the pressure changes in the ocean--plus she wasn't willing to let go of her vendetta against humans.

Innovation could very easily turn her into a normal shark again who could still speak telepathically...but they couldn't cure her hatred.

For all you know, she could want to kill Sebastian now simply because he was (mostly) back to being human.

Painter, on the other hand, could have escaped with you if you had more time. He deserved a better life besides wasting away mining robux and being tethered to the IDS. He always talked about Sebastian's promise to get him out, too, so you wondered if he felt betrayed and lied to...

Until you recently learned that Innovation figured out a way to communicate with him and help throw more dirt on Urbanshade via an encrypted channel. So there was a chance his AI could be transferred over to this facility if his physical body was destroyed.

That gave you hope to see him again.

But until then, they told you to look after Sebastian, and that was fine by you. He was all you cared about right now.

"GAH!"

Snapping your head over, you could see the man jolt upright all of the sudden, eyes wide as he clutched at his chest, breathing hard. You noticed the sweat dampening the front of his shirt, and closed your book. "Seb?"

"Shit. I was...am I...a-am I still...?" He mumbled to himself, bringing a trembling hand to his forehead, before he squeezed his eyes shut. "Please don't be there..please, please, please, god.."

To his relief, he felt nothing but the tiny bumps that formed a stitch beneath his black bangs. But even so, his fingers kept grazing over his skin and ears, wanting to be certain those things weren't there anymore.

"It's okay. You're still at Innovation. My buddies got rid of them."

Feeling the mattress dip, Sebastian looked to see you sitting on the bed, too. You looked concerned, but not overly worried--as this has become a rather normal occurrence ever since he finished those rounds of surgeries.

"I know that, but..I've had them for a long time." He lightly scoffed, trying to calm himself down, but you could tell he was still shaking and very overwhelmed by his nightmare, tears stinging his eyes. "I..I-I can't just...forget about it like it never happened, you know. Like those bastards didn't.....gh.."

He got choked up, and you opened your arms to him, waiting to see if he was willing to accept your offer. Being a giant anglerfish, he never wanted anybody to touch him, and you understood perfectly why.

So for him to curl up into your embrace was a bit of a surprise, but you held him closely; not too tightly so he was uncomfortable, of course. "I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe with me." You consoled, feeling him rest his head on your shoulder, sniffling quietly.

A few tears dampened your sleeve, but you didn't mind them.

It made you realize that he probably took his humanity for granted--now there was no longer a huge size difference between you two.

Ever since escaping the blacksite, he's become a bit more attached to you, wanting to constantly be near you. Even back then, he's been friendlier to you than most expendables.

He'd never outright say your presence comforts him. But you could tell through the small gestures and "exceptions" he makes for you that you're the only good thing to enter his life at Urbanshade.

"You're okay, Seb. We're both okay now."

"Y-Yeah, I know..I know.." He muttered, slowly trying to wriggle out of the hug, to which you let him go and allowed him to sit up. "Sorry you gotta put up with me being like this. Thought I would've been over it by now.."

Despite his words, he was still physically shaken up, the nightmares not so easily leaving his mind.

"There's no rush to "get over" any of this." You frowned a little, putting your hand on top of his as a comforting gesture. "I sure as hell haven't. Every time I think I can get some sleep, I find myself getting chased by those stupid mutant fish over and over again.."

Sebastian just scoffed. "You think being chased by one is bad? Try becoming one and having to live through-"

But he stopped himself after seeing the look on your face, as well as you removing your hand and getting up. "Sorry. I'll..get you some water-"

"No. Don't leave. Please."

You blinked in surprise as he grabbed at the hem of your shirt with lightning speed, although when he realized you were staring...he quickly let go and coughed awkwardly into his fist.

"I know I'm not the only one who went through some messed up shit. I don't know how you dealt with it."

"What?"

"..dying over and over again. I would've gone fucking insane if I had to live through that."

"Well, I almost did...but it was worth it. Because we're both free now." You offered him a reassuring smile. "And technically Painter, too. We'll have to talk to him sometime."

"Yeah? Think he'd wanna chat with me after I basically lied to him?" He muttered, sounding uncertain. "I promised him that we would get out. And he could paint all the landscapes he wanted to."

"My colleagues are still figuring out how to unhook him from the IDS without further corrupting him, but they're making good progress. He'll be on his own little computer in here in no time."

"That's good. I just hope he can forgive me. I really only asked him to stall.."

"I'm sure he'd understand, Seb." With a sigh, you picked up your book. "He knows we're safe and he's giving Innovation whatever they need. So I wouldn't worry."

Sebastian simply nodded, looking to his hands--specifically to the ring imprint that was still on one of his fingers, frowning a little as he stared at it.

Even though his humanity was restored, he had already been declared dead a long time. Everyone he knew and loved was convinced that he was a guilty man who deserved execution. It didn't matter if they caught the actual criminal or not.

He just couldn't return to normal life after all he's been through. After all he's seen.

No.

But he could start over with you.

It was funny to think that you were once an expendable prisoner he glossed over, assuming you just wanted to buy his wares and march onwards to your next death--to which he'd laugh in your face and show you the document you already had memorized.

Now, you were the only person he could trust. The only person he was willing to be vulnerable around.

Because you helped free him.

You were the reason he was able to become human again.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

sea bunny plushies and random tarot messages

( ( i had to take some time off because life was being too exhausting but now i'm back with my pac readings, missed tumblr so much tbh. ) )

so: pick a sea bunny plushie and let's see what random pieces of advice you can get from the tarot.

number 1 number 2 number 3

number 4 number 5 number 6

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

images are from pinterest and dividers are by @nicodefresas

reblog if you enjoyed this reading or if you enjoy sea bunny plushies <3

༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴

꒰ BUNNY NUMBER ONE ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Being overly confident and reliant on thoughts that don’t come from healthy spaces is understandable if you’re in a desperate rush to find stability in your life. But sometimes these ideas will make you unable to move further, especially if moving on involves the questioning of such toxic beliefs. It is quite normal to find comfort in what we already know, but just because something is normalized (on the outside world or on your inner world) it doesn’t mean it’s healthy, or that it’s actually genuine to you. Even if your ambitions are coherent, take time to reflect on how you understand and conceptualize your own struggle and your path to success.

꒰ BUNNY NUMBER TWO ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Neglecting healthy conversations about your emotions for the sake of other’s comfort is definitely stunting the development of many unrelated matters, not recognizing the importance of preserving your mental and emotional stability, is taking a toll on other aspects of your life. You’re giving away too much of your energy to people and places that won’t make an effort to comprehend the real complexity and validity of your purest emotions. Even if you feel like you’ve recently been too emotional, that won’t be solved by dissociating yourself from something so human and natural as feelings are.

꒰ BUNNY NUMBER THREE ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

This is a great moment to understand that it’s okay if you are not entirely sure on what to do next with your life. Taking the time to rest or taking an entirely new direction is also part of your own life path. Don’t expect answers that will come from outside yourself, you will find more clarity if you focus on building your own spaces of comfort and growth with the resources and people you already have in your life. Don’t look for things that are not meant to find you yet, find the time to take care and nurture what’s already there for you to help you grow.

꒰ BUNNY NUMBER FOUR ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Even if it is quite undesirable to be in situations where you have to embrace chaos and accept uncertainty, it is helpful to understand that uninterrupted stability eventually begins to feel like stagnation. Situations of conflict are necessary on time to time in order to test the value and strength of anything. It’s key to understand that what’s needed in moment’s of instability is not a toxic sense of optimism and hope, but more so an objective analysis of  what can be done since the problem is giving an opportunity to fix what’s broken and check what could break next.

꒰ BUNNY NUMBER FIVE ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Your decision taking abilities might be affected by a false sense of urgency on time to time. If your mind is moving too quickly and it seems like there’s only few options where you have to go all in, just know that it’s likely that you are not thinking completely straight. Being paralyzed and stuck on unhealthy thought patterns is keeping you away from seeing the full picture. The overly rationalized insecurities and negative self talk might be unperceivable due to it being incorporated as normal and healthy “self criticism”. Is not, and it’ll affect your life negatively.

꒰ BUNNY NUMBER SIX ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

It’s okay to embrace the simple pleasures in life and feel confident in material success, yet being overly fixated on this will take away many opportunities to develop a deeper perspective on many issues you might be wilfully ignoring. Don’t allow yourself to change your core beliefs in order to appease hedonistic needs, as this will bring you to periods of stagnation. Take the time to establish your priorities and keep them in mind whenever anything feels too good to be true, if you don’t care for your success, nobody else will.

Hey hiii, it's me, Gigi. I hope you enjoyed this reading and you found something helpful or entertaining on it. In all honesty, im so so soo obsessed with those plushies like, i couldn't resist the urge to use them as visuals for this post i dont care how unserious it seems.

anyways, i'm back to being cronically online, my bookings are open so check my tarot menu if you're interested. and my masterpost has all my pac readings so far if you're into them.

if you feel like reblogging and liking this post, i appreciate the shit out of that and i love you.

i think i don't have much else to say, other than hi im back, missed this place so much.

so,,, bye <3 much love, gigi.

[good-beansdraws]

They made Alien Stage merch of the singers being treated inhumanely in Anakt Garden? ;__;

Milgram

I'm still reeling that they released such intense art as merch.... At the same time it's not like I'm complaining -- wanting to draw this with 0 hesitation only proved I am also not immune to "Let's put those guys in situations 👁👁"

Small descriptions of these scenes under the cut, then some overall au thoughts because this got my brain going...

Mahiru is always speaking of romance and her heart racing -- the aliens want to test just how fast she can go before "overheating."

Amane always enjoyed singing as part of a choir, but the aliens hope to isolate just her voice, and every piece of it, no matter how long she must stand and sing for them.

Kotoko is quick at improvisation in both her music and in a fight, so they wish to find out exactly what makes her tick in these different areas.

Fuuta's big mouth is what makes him stand out in Alien Stage -- they consider straightening his crooked teeth to make him more marketable before deciding on a fang.

Haruka has always been deceptively strong to the smaller members of Anakt Garden, so the aliens only analyze him in a state of weakness.

Mikoto struggles daily with the breathing and circulation issues from the lab, only allowing himself to break when the cameras are down.

I chose the assignments based on the pics themselves, and only afterwards started looking into the overall au -- compared to typical Milgram assignments, I feel like these made for some really interesting dynamics:

Mahiru meets the prodigy Amane in Anakt Garden and takes her under her wing. She obsesses over romance as a general idea, but it's mainly the vision of a complete, happy family that she's dreaming of. Therefore she's optimistic for a tie, and that the two can become a family at the end of Alien Stage -- until Round 1 stops all her dreams short.

Amane had always spoken of god and the universe, and the others find themselves finally listening only after she’s gone. (It mainly affects Mahiru, but I like the fact that Fuuta can still call her his god.) Mahiru reflects on their time together -- though Amane had a big heart, spending time with her caretakers often left her quiet and stoic. Mahiru remembers meeting her in her perfect, doll-frilled dress and vowing to take care of her.

Someone as strong-willed and rebellious as Kotoko has always hated how 03060809 play along with Alien Stage -- she is their self appointed enemy for aiding the aliens in killing other humans. Deep down, though, Mahiru’s shining light has given her hope. She can hardly admit to herself what strong feelings she's developed for Mahiru, much less tell her outright. She focuses all her efforts to fight aliens and corrupt humans til the end. She isn't afraid to smash guitars and throw some punches along the way.

At the same time, Kotoko has never noticed the person idolizing her in silence: Fuuta. Even when she lashes out at him, he's inspired by her strength and intensity. He can tell she doesn't feel the same toward him, so he keeps his growing, touchstarved crush a secret. He's also willing to fight the whole way, even finding a flaming escape opportunity for them as kids (to which Kotoko argues she isn't a coward, and needs to stay and fight.) It isn't until he sees his idol lose her fire that he finally stops and hands the win over. He gets in one violent, rash show of love before it's all extinguished in the rain.

Alongside them, Mikoto becomes a fan favorite to the public. The asthmatic with a gentle side and violently self-preserving one is a huge hit. (Something about Mikoto’s mvs being the most popular for a while.) He earns win after win, no matter the health and memory issues that haunt him. Any time a performance gets too risky, John takes matters into his own hands to make sure they come out on top.

Though it's harder for him to physically evoke Amane's relationship with Mahiru in round 5, he knows how to play into right lyrics: "make me your god, I can give you everything." It's easier for him to act as Fuuta, giving Kotoko a Deep Cover moment of guilt that she'd gotten him killed by fighting for the wrong things. In a twist of irony from canon, Kotoko says her final words in Mahiru’s arms, and Mahiru is the one left feeling responsible for the loss...

Back in their childhood, Haruka and Mikoto had found themselves outcasts together. Haruka was always afraid of Mikoto after witnessing his violence against the other children (I think it'd be weird to switch around victims so maybe it was both of their faults that Haruka’s suster died.) But at the same time, a part of him kept coming back and seeking Mikoto's attention because he admired him so much.

After being rescued from a disastrous Alien Stage round, the others in the resistance were taken in by Haruka’s innocent shyness. Regardless of his protests at poor public speaking, his heart earned him the spot of leader. He is willing throw himself in the path of danger to protect the people he cares about -- an admired trait until it actually does get him killed.

(And a bonus Yuno for Bones :D)

[tealvenetianmask]

Why Stolas's Story Is a Neurodivergent Story

And what that means for what's ahead.

Like a lot of fans, I see Stolas as autistic. This isn't a diagnosis post. But yes, something something special interests, dinosaur arms, persistent difficulty fitting in with his own social class, anxiety about social situations, frequent difficulty reading people and/or noticing others' emotions (especially when caught up in his own thoughts), masking, etc. etc. etc.

I want to talk about how Stolas's character arc tells a really well written (and potentially very uplifting) story about what it's like to be neurodivergent.

So what would be in my ideal neurodivergent story? Well I'd rather stay away from true utopia and have it reflect what it feels like to be neurodivergent in society today. So the character would struggle, not because their traits are bad, but because society isn't built for them. As the story progresses, the character might find happiness in unexpected ways and begin to look beyond society's rigid expectations for what a "good life" looks like. And then, hopefully, after some twists and turns, this character reaches a kind of self-acceptance where they are more themselves than ever, proud of who they are, and maybe even able to help change their society for the better.

Stolas's character arc IS this story.

Act 1: It's hard trying to fit into a neurotypical world.

Stolas is taught to mask his true emotions and follow strict social expectations as a child. He isn't living in just ANY neurotypical culture. The Goetia are old and set in their ways, and have rigid expectations for what one does and does not do. He's playing the social game on "hard mode" from the beginning.

I think one thing that helps make Stolas high masking is the way in which his special interests are socially acceptable within his social sphere. Stars and plants? Books? Well he's a nerd, and no one wants to be his friend, but of course a guy with his particular destiny-assigned-in-childhood would like things like that.

Stolas develops a few different types of masks. One is the "I'm fine" mask where he pretends not to be emotionally affected by what's going on around him.

The other is this sort of "powerful" mask. A character who is in control of everything and plays into his society's ideas of how a Goetia should interact with the rest of the world. It usually means acting demeaning toward Blitz in order to preserve the facade of what a powerful prince of Hell is supposed to be. And he's conscious of putting on an act when he uses it.

But anyway, the masks cover up a person who is deeply unhappy in his prescribed role and doing his best to act correctly for others . . . his father's expectations and then his daughter's wellbeing, instead of for himself. I like that HB has him STILL not fit in among the Goetia despite his best efforts. It's an experience that a lot of neurodivergent people know too well.

By the way, I LOVE how Mastermind brings us Stolas doing something truly subversive with this "powerful" mask, playing into his society's expectations in order to, in a small way, undermine their power. BUT that's me getting ahead of myself.

Act 2: The neurodivergent character learns that there are other ways to be.

I think that Stolas has been dipping his talons into this part of his story for two seasons now but has been hesitant to envision himself as anything but a prince of hell. We're going to see him fully engulfed in working through these questions in Season 3 because of his banishment.

Blitz is of course the major catalyst for Stolas questioning his commitment to conformity and acting outright rebellious at times.

I think it's neat that Blitz is so clearly neurodivergent himself. We tend to find each other . . . if you're reading this and are neurodivergent, take a look at your closest friends. And these two share a kind of chemistry and appreciation for one another that most of Hell seems not to see in them.

BUT until he's banished, Stolas doesn't really reach for a situation where he doesn't need to act out his prescribed role. Even when he pursues a relationship with Blitz in earnest, he does so with the expectation that he'll somehow balance this relationship with satisfying the expectations of his upper-class peers.

Act 3: Radical Self-Acceptance?? Hopefully!

Now we can only speculate.

I think that despite realizing that he wants something else, Stolas still fundamentally believes that something is wrong with him. He doesn't understand yet that his enthusiasm for his interests and his emotiveness, for instance, are part of what makes him wonderful. He doesn't see yet that being different might even help him change a society that is deeply flawed.

I can't wait to see Stolas truly have fun in Imp City, and do things there that he's truly proud of.

Whatever happens with his literal powers, he might figure out that he's most powerful when he doesn't act like a "powerful prince" but instead acts like himself and proudly questions his society.

And there's a lot of "The Circus" in this post because @akirathedramaqueen and I had a major brainstorm while we were rewatching that episode. More new ideas about old material to come soon hopefully!

This post is a follow-up on this literal fever ramble from yesterday about Blitz as a neurodivergent character. And yes, I think neurodivergent stories map onto queer stories quite nicely.

[moretheta]

ok i know i'm the 101st person to compare the phantom troupe and the heil-ly family, but with each new chapter we get more and more to work with & i'm chewing on it 24/7 like drywall. let's talk fatalism:

so first of all shoutout to the number one champion of this theory, my main man nobunaga:

literally idk if the guy is in a nostalgic mood or what, but he will not stop yapping about the similarities and for that i commend him & his service

for the record, phinks & feitan don't seem tooooo convinced. phinks specifically points out that hey, actually, we aren't amateurs like these guys and we don't have some crazy genocide murderscheme going on. this much is obvious in the way the PT reacts to luini's insane murderfanboying with "huh????????" *stab*

the phantom troupe do not want to destroy the world, nor were they designed to- they were designed for a very specific purpose and that was to create an environment (a web, hah) that could lure in the big criminals they wanted revenge against, while being dangerous enough to keep the petty criminals out.

these are two very different vision boards!!!

....that nevertheless share some strikingly similar imagery

and we find even more parallels in their respective leaders: aside from the obvious biblical resemblances, morena and chrollo share a similar outlook on life-- more specifically, a similar outlook on death.

more seem uncaring about their respective prospects of survival. self-preservation is such an inherently human trait- hell, a trait inherent to the living- that the lack of any such instinct whatsover is pretty damn terrifying. it leads to a certain kind of alienation from humanity that we know at least chrollo has felt (when he says shit like "humans are so interesting" like damn get your head outta your ass you are one of them). it makes them striking and scary and unpredictable. fucking brocco li points this out:

he's talking about the troupe here, but he could just as easily be talking about the heil-ly. because once again, the mafia is the establishment and the heil-ly and phantom troupe are decidedly not. the regular kakin mafia looks out for their own self-interests, which can lead to unchecked greed but is also what causes them to not go around murdering civilians just because they feel like it.

think of the loss in profits!!

now, nobunaga seems to think of the heil-ly as a sort of prototype- unrefined spider. when they're first investigating the heil-ly hideout, he says "maybe a switch was flipped when one of their own was killed," [see figure 1 above] which is a reasonable assumption to make considering his own experience. but when we check back in with the heil-ly...

their reaction to losing luini is "bummer," before immediately talking about what abilities they should develop to replace him. and in the second panel, when hinrigh kills padaille, the guys who are supposed to be his comrades just.. run away. later morena mentions that those same members are now leveling up to get revenge on hinrigh, but it seems like that stems more from hurt pride and morbid curiosity to see what they can accomplish with their shiny new powers.

these mfs are singing a "let's go hunt the mafia" jingle

big contrast to the way the xi-yu react to the death of lynch^

now both the troupe and the heil-ly are known to have fairly blasé reactions towards death and violence and general in the past. and that extends to their comrades' fights:

shalnark and co play cards while uvogin get leeches injected into his veins, or phinks & co stand by and watch feitan almost get his ass handed to him by zazan in meteor city- before he starts taking things seriously, that is. but i think that comes from a genuine respect in their comrades' strength. like everyone knew uvo could handle the shadow beasts just like they knew feitan could handle zazan. the heil-ly also seem to enjoy each others company and have a great rapport while chopping up dead bodies... but i think they don't expect much from their comrades in the way the troupe does. i mean, it's like phink's says: the troupe doesn't take on amateurs. everyone in the heil-ly is an amateur (except morena) so i don't think their laissez-faire attitude comes from confidence in their own abilities- i think they actually just do not care.

this whole exchange felt sooooo spiders-coded. which makes sense: i mean plenty of them are fans of the spiders! i think yokotani (the lawyer) was deadass trying to get an autograph lol

one thing to note is that when nobunaga attacks terebellum, he assumes the reason the gang hadn't shown signs of confrontation thus far was because they were convinced they were safe- that nobunaga and hinrigh couldn't get to them. i think that's only half the truth: when hinrigh throws a knife at this guy (the heil-ly's "organ" whatever that could mean) he just thinks "huh i wonder how long this would take to heal," before being saved by an issue of shonen jump. then he gets chastised for being reckless and going against morena's orders to keep his head down, but it's all very unserious. then everyone just kind of wanders off to do their own thing.

can i also just say i was getting from real uvogin vibes from terebellum over here

again, i can't really make any blanket statements with information we have available. but my current outlook is that the biggest difference between the spiders and the heil-ly right now is that the heil-ly is what chrollo had initially envisioned for the troupe: remember the "i am the head but i don't matter and you shouldn't make choices with my life in mind" speech? i think this is what that would look like. we know that (up until yorknew), chrollo truly believed that everyone saw the spiders as he did. that he would have no value as a hostage. that they would all be able to accept his death and move on:

and this turned out to be a fatal flaw.

the levels of cognitive dissonance going on during this whole exchange...

he was soooo in hhis head about being above humanity in his own little conceptual space where life and death don't matter that he forgot to look around and realize not everyone was there with him.

there were some, like phinks, who were in line with chrollo's philiosophy. kudos to them ig. but there were enough people who wanted to keep their friend alive- and are still working their asses off to do so today!- that his plan failed. pakunoda chief among them god rest her soul. this moment was one of the first dominos that sent into into the downward spiral he's on today. because after all he invested in the spider, all he gave up for it, it's web is slowly but surely falling apart. he is losing one lifelong member after another in events he is either powerless to stop or has a direct hand in. the ethos that kept him in this purgatory where he could temporarily transcend pain and guilt and humanity is unravelling, and the people he loves (not all of them, at least) don't share in it, and if that's the case then they've been suffering all this time. and if that's the case then what the hell has he been doing, and what the hell is the point.

so now he's stuck on a ship with a group of people that are like his own but worse (and younger and stupider g'bless) lead by someone who's like him but at peace. (and also probably worse lol). having a breakdown because people might love him. also he's trying to steal a national treasure because this is a nic cage movie apparently hey how many words is this post again

TLDR; chrollo is loosing the idgaf war

[sallie-nathalies]

How Would the Bachelors and Bachelorettes Handle Being Millionaires?

I will assume that the farmer gives them a money allowance for... idk, breathing, I guess.

SHANE

He would do a lot of farm chores to earn his money and maintain a schedule (it helps him avoid relapsing). He would spend his money on finishing his college education (I headcanon that he is a dropout), watching more Gridball matches (probably with his children, if they’re into it), and buying gifts for Jas while also helping Marnie financially. I he asks the farmer for a huge amount of money, it would be to pay for Jas' education.

Would he say something?

He might comment on it, but without giving too many details—perhaps to his old Gridball teammates or during a high school reunion. If he notices some envy from them, especially from people who once saw him as a hopeless drunk, he would feel a little better about himself. At least not all his choices weren't wrong.

HARVEY

He came to Pelican Town to provide holistic healthcare to the people. You are the perfect partner for that mission since you can sell high-quality organic food, which improves the town’s overall health. Being generous and kind, he wouldn’t spend much on himself but would offer free medical care to those who can't afford it. If he ever asked the farmer for a large sum, it would be to invest in his clinic.

Would he say something?

No, he wouldn't like to. Fortunately, people would just assume he has money due to his medical degree.

ELLIOTT

Having financial security would allow him to focus entirely on writing without the stress of being a struggling artist. He would spend his money on self-publishing his first works and traveling to promote his books. However, once he becomes successful, he would ask you to invest your money elsewhere since he earns enough for himself. In fact, from that point on, he would start spending his money on you.

If he ever asked for a large sum, it would be to buy a small ship to keep at the docks.

Would he say something?

Not openly, but there would be signs of his wealth—like his Iridium-quality wine, preserved in a noble wood keg from a renowned farm of the Valley. If someone asked about the wine, he would proudly say it was made by his spouse. He would definitely brag about how incredible you are.

SAM

He would continue his music career, but mainly as a hobby and as a way to stay connected with Sebastian and Abigail. He would spend more time playing with his children and being a dedicated househusband (he’d even pay for cooking and cleaning lessons).

He wouldn’t spend much on himself, but he would for his family. If his allowance wasn’t enough, he would ask the farmer for extra money to support them (therapy for Kent, exotic vacations for Jodi, or Vincent’s education).

Would he say something?

One time, he got into a minor car accident and casually offered to pay for the damages. However, since he dresses like a punk, the other person didn't believe him, and things escalated quickly between them.

SEBASTIAN

Since his family is already financially stable (seriously, how much money do you gave to Robin?), he wouldn’t need to spend much on them. Instead, he would buy motorcycles and develop moderately successful indie games. Once he earned enough, he would invest his money in you and his family. You two would frequently visit Zuzu City to escape the stillness of Pelican Town.

Would he say something?

He’s too shy to talk about his personal life. However, during an interview about indie game developers, he once mentioned that his biggest sponsor was his spouse and that their financial stability allowed him to work harder.

ALEX

He would ask for a private gym. However, when his grandparents became too old to live independently or if one of them passed away (sniff), he would ask to bring them home and would give up the gym to make space for them. He would spend all his money on their well-being.

Would he say something?

He would write a social media post about how terrible his father was, thanking him for staying out of his life, and emphasizing how his "worthless" son succeeded in life. He would proudly declare that he is now a gridball star, millionaire, and a much better father than his own. This emotional outburst would be cathartic, and after venting, he would become more calm and reserved.

HAYLEY

She is genuinely trying to become a better person, so it would hurt her if someone called her a gold digger—especially since she truly loves you and is working hard to improve. To earn her own money, she would create a successful farming vlog and promote your products, significantly increasing demand for them.

She would enjoy luxury, decorating the house with stylish furniture and filling your closet with fashionable clothes. She would definitely be the biggest spender among the bachelorettes, but not with bad intentions—she genuinely wants to bring comfort and happiness to your home.

Would she say something?

Yes, she has a vlog, so she would naturally talk about it.

EMILY

She would remain the same person, with the only major difference being that she could now afford more spiritual retreat trips.

Would she brag?

No, but people paying attention might notice. She would casually mention her self-discovery during a trip in India, her friendship with a tribal chief’s wife in Cameroon, how she got a traditional Māori tattoo in New Zealand, or how she’s planning to revisit Mexico this year. Also, she would have so many exotic artifacts from around the world, that people will notice it.

ABIGAIL

She would spend her money on sword training and upgrading her weapons. She would love accompanying you to the mines, helping you collect valuable gems and jewelry. Some days, she would even go by herself while you are working on the farm, so you can help each other. If she asks for a large sum of money, it would be to help her parents. But she prefers to make them the official sellers of your products, so they can be financially stable by their own.

Would she say something?

She would brag about many things—how many monsters she’s defeated, how cool her sword is, how much treasure she’s found, how she outsmarted a dangerous skeleton, and how awesome her spouse is. But about money? Not really.

LEAH

She would barely spend money since she can get everything she needs from the farm. She would learn to cut trees for high-quality wood and help you produce expensive wine. When not working on the farm, she would focus entirely on her art, and traveling to promote herself.

Would she brag?

Like Elliott, she wouldn’t say anything outright, but it would be noticeable. The materials she uses for her artwork would be high-quality, and not many people have access to truffles covered in goat cheese paired with Iridium-quality wine. That would be her regular meal!

PENNY

She would maintain a "poverty mindset"—saving money, keeping a jar for coins she finds on the ground, setting aside emergency funds, and hunting for good deals. You might have to remind her that you’re millionaires, especially after she insists on eating JojaMart frozen food for a week to save money.

The only reason she would ask for money would be to help her mother, but her real dream would be to build a small school and further her education to become a certified teacher.

Would she say something?

No, she’s too timid and humble for that.

MARU

Delivery guys would know you by name. She would constantly order parts and materials to build her machines (and to prevent you from going into the mines). Since her family is financially stable, most of her investments would go into improving the farm.

She would invent all kinds of crazy gadgets to make your life easier, asking about your daily struggles so she could design solutions. She would also consult Demetrius about enriching the soil and designing eco-friendly farming methods, working with Clint to build everything.

Would she say something?

No, she would be too busy working on new projects. But at some point, you will support her to promote herself in different farm fairs, because her inventions can help a lot of people! Probably it's you who will brag more about her, than she about you!

[vaguely-concerned]

...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?

(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:

They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck

that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.

the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)

[sunsh123]

✨ Pick a Pile! Channeled Message from Spirit Guides ✨

choose what collage you’re drawn to the most! can be two or all three!

take what resonates; leave what does not

1. Sun

orange cats, 1010, new beginnings, daffodils, rebirth, 777

A cycle has ended and you are currently in alignment with your greatest truth. You no longer need to be resilient. It’s time to stop ignoring your needs and learn how to be soft with yourself. That doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you. You have a backbone, you can use it. Setting boundaries is the only way to continue down this path.

Now’s the time to actually allow yourself to rest and recoup. Stop draining your energy on people that never lift you up and make you feel seen. All you’re doing is hiding parts of yourself that are begging for recognition. Look toward your inner child and how they would play. Allow yourself to be seen. Allow yourself to be silly.

A bright light shines within you and now’s the time to let yourself glow. Take up space because you deserve to.

——————

2. Moon

Caribbean Blue, water, rivers, Cancer, crabs, spring

You are so used to living in survival mode, you’ve developed a thick outer shell to protect your vulnerable parts. It’s time to crack that shell open and let those tender parts be seen. Your heart’s been closed off for so long—just know that it’s protected. If you haven’t noticed it already, people are on your side. It’s okay to be seen and ask for help.

You have an incredible sense of self-preservation, but keeping yourself hidden behind a wall will only lead to isolation. Listen to your heart (when he’s calling for you…) and your need for connection. Take this as a sign to reach out to someone you’ve been thinking about.

Your voice needs to be heard. It’s time to stop silencing yourself.

——————

3. Star

abundance, 888, pink, flamingos, monstera leaves

Whether intentionally manifesting it or not, you are experiencing growth. You are slowly, but surely, moving towards becoming your best self, you just need to believe you deserve it. Now’s your time to show your authentic self to the world.

“You don’t need to change. It’s boring being the same.” Flamingo - Kero Kero Bonito

Perhaps you aren’t sure how to start. Maybe in the past you were shamed for being yourself. Now’s the time to focus on what’s important to you and how you can live your life more authentically. Trust that you know yourself best. Look inward and listen to your intuition. Follow your gut. Search within yourself to find your true wants. That’s how you begin the path towards true growth.

Take root before you branch out. This is your sign to spend some time with yourself. Just five or ten minutes. Deep breaths, close your eyes, and listen. Don’t forget to take note of what you hear.

——————

Thank you for reading! 🙏

[all images were made with Pinterest’s collage maker and do not belong to me]

[spicycinnabun]

Good Omega

written with @batty4steddie for day 7 of @steddie-week! we used prompt ‘free space’ which we chose to fill in with rockstar!steddie and omegaverse. 🤘

wc: 19k+ ⋆ rated: e ⋆ tags: a/b/o dynamics, band au, friends to lovers, omega!eddie, alpha!steve, praise kink ⋆ tw: implied past sa, negative self-talk, smut ⋆ read on ao3

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆.˚✮🎸✮˚.⋆. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

“Damn it!”

Eddie glanced up. He leaned away from the mirror where he had been carefully smudging smoky black along his eyes. He spun around on his stool. “What ails thee, Sir Gareth?”

“My AntiScent,” Gareth answered, putting his head in his hands. “I fucking ran out. I thought I still had some left.”

Ah.

Eddie stood and walked over to the red leather sofa. With his mammoth spiked platforms, he towered over the other omega.

“Been there.” Eddie placed a hand on Gareth’s shoulder and squeezed it, briefly scent-marking him to try and dissipate some of the distressed stink he was giving off.

Over time, they’d developed a sort of familial relationship as the only two omegas in the band. Eddie had gained the little brother he’d never had, and Gareth had gained a hot mess older brother who helped him survive the Alpha-dominated entertainment industry.

Eddie went back to his station and grabbed his kit, digging through it. “Fret not. You can use mine.”

“You sure?” Gareth asked, lifting his head hopefully. “Don’t you need them?”

Eddie tossed him the box. “Nah, not my first rodeo without ‘em.”

It was actually a relief. Eddie hated wearing blockers, which they all knew since he was frequently bitching about it. The closer he was to his cycle, the more of them he needed to keep his scent contained. They itched like a motherfucker and made him feel contained. It was like wearing a prison, like chains with locks wrapped tightly around his body—and not the fun, kinky kind.

While Gareth peeled and stuck on the patches, Eddie finished getting ready with a bit more pep in his step, fogging the room in a cloud of hairspray. 

The stage manager popped her head in to tell them they’d be ready for them in about half an hour. Eddie groaned, spinning in place and vibrating with pre-show energy. He wanted to go now.

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Eddie’s scent was clouding the dressing room unexpectedly when Steve walked in. Usually, hairspray was the only thing he could smell. Eddie hadn’t put on his blockers yet.  

Steve’s mouth suddenly became very dry. He hadn’t talked much that day, trying to preserve his voice as best he could before the show.

He grabbed a water from the mini-fridge to hydrate before trying to settle on the couch. He couldn’t sit comfortably in his jeans, so he lounged back carefully in hopes he wouldn’t pop a button. They weren’t leaving much to the imagination. Everyone could see the outline of his cock and knot in them.

Steve had gone all out on his outfit for their last show. With his short-sleeved, spandex gold button-up that was almost completely open, he was displaying an impressive amount of belly and chest hair, even for an Alpha.

He hadn’t eaten much, either. His pants were way too tight to handle any food. It certainly didn’t ease his hunger with Eddie’s scent filling the room. He smelled like an extremely buttery and spicy Snickerdoodle.

Steve was effectively distracting Eddie from his tantrum of impatience. It was their last show of the tour, so they’d all done just a little bit more than usual. They had to say goodbye with a bang. Always did. Steve was certainly gussied up. He was glistening in metallic gold. Fuck, he looked delicious.

“I said it already, but I’ll say it again: really love that color on you, sweetheart,” Eddie said, flopping over the arm of the sofa dramatically, his head landing directly in Steve’s lap as his legs kicked in the air. He looked up, grinning with all his teeth. “You look like a gold medal.”

It was difficult not to close his eyes and inhale deeply, not to pull Steve’s head down and thrust that sweet mouth onto his. Steve was half a week away from rut, just like Eddie was from his heat, and he could feel it thrumming between them like a live wire.

Eddie had lots of practice controlling himself around Steve and his ludicrously tempting scent. Sometimes—most times—Eddie swore it was made for his nose. Steve, his straight Alpha bandmate and best friend. Friend only.

Years of playing together, touring together, and long nights sleeping on the bus in their bunks only a few inches away from each other taunted him. Eddie had heard Steve jerk off more times than he could count. Had secretly gotten off with him and felt ashamed in the morning. Even more ashamed the time he’d called out Steve’s name with a one-night stand who definitely hadn’t been named Steve. (After that, he'd asked his partners to gag him.)

Steve knew Eddie’s scent well but didn’t get to fully experience it often. It was going to be all over him now. He was used to Eddie’s antics and closeness. He always enjoyed it. He loved omegas; they were so sweet, and they loved being close to Alphas, too. It truly hurt their feelings when Alphas weren’t receptive to their affections.

It was easy being friends with Eddie. He was encouraging and thoughtful, and he always made Steve feel good. Hearing the compliment made him smile really big. He was getting pumped.

Steve had only ever had one other male omega friend in his life: Tommy. He’d fallen in love with Steve, but unfortunately, it hadn’t been mutual, and they’d ended their friendship for good during their senior year of high school.

Steve had only officially met Eddie when he’d decided to audition for his band. He’d seen The Mind Flayer at The Hideout dozens of times before he’d seen their flier looking for a lead singer. They had been purely heavy metal and instrumental until Steve had joined. He’d always thought about singing, but it wasn’t something his parents—well, his dad—had encouraged.

Steve and Eddie had hit it off right away. Eddie was passionate about music and sharing his opinions. Even their clashes created beautiful musical harmony. Steve pushed slower songs with better beats and even some piano ballads, and Eddie pushed him to be louder, more emotional, and to really lose himself in the lyrics.

Steve didn’t care that Eddie was an omega. He was so talented with the guitar and had written some gorgeous songs. Steve was in awe of his style and energy.

Every fiber of Steve’s being had wanted to be a part of the band. He’d had a good feeling about it and never could have dreamt of the places it would eventually take them outside of their small town.

It truly blew his mind how successful they’d become, graduating from a van and bus to finally flying from show to show and staying in hotels. It had become so much fucking fun to sing his heart out and fool around on stage with his best friend.

Eddie turned his face into Steve’s bare stomach, nipping at his belly button with a playful growl. Steve wouldn’t question shit like that. Nuzzling, hugging, cuddling, wrapping himself around Steve like a snake—he was used to Eddie’s jokes and flirtations. Used to Eddie teasing him and scenting him and almost pushing their friendship into friends with benefits territory.

Eddie always toyed with the line, and it was made easy by the demands of their fans. The fans loved seeing him all over Steve—went absolutely bonkers for it—and Eddie was too happy to oblige. Steve always played along, too. He was a good sport and secure in his skin. The most tolerant straight man Eddie had ever met.

And good goddamn, he could act. He always made it feel real. It fucked with Eddie’s head and raging hormones. It was a constant torture, but that was the nature of their relationship, and Eddie was attached. He didn’t know what he was going to do when it ended.

Because it was going to end eventually. Steve wouldn’t be unmated forever. He would find his omega. Eddie always backed off when Steve had a girlfriend. Mysteriously, none of them lasted more than a couple months. Eddie figured it was because of their lifestyle. They were frequently on the road, making relationships long-distance and difficult.

But once Steve officially courted an omega, his and Eddie’s connection would change forever.

Steve was already feeling butterflies for their impending performance. The bites made him squirm a little and suck in. It felt like he was being scented, and Eddie’s tiny growls sounded possessive.

“My mouth is too empty,” Eddie told Steve. Whined, really. “We got candy? Cigarette?” Eddie made no move to get either of those things himself. He knew Steve would take care of him. He pouted pathetically. “Help.”

Steve pushed Eddie’s hair back and bit his lip. Usually, when Eddie’s mouth was empty, he talked a lot or treated Steve like a snack—like he was doing now. Steve slipped out from under him. “‘Course we got candy, Eddie bear. Gummy bears are on our rider, just for you. Let me grab them.”

Steve felt a bit better standing up and being of service to the omega. He lightly caressed his scent gland as he walked over to the treats. He had peanut M&M’s waiting for himself but knew better than to eat them before the show. He was jealous that Eddie could eat whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and it never showed. He had the sluttiest little waist. Steve shook his head to rid the thought and tossed the candy to Eddie.

“Thanks.” Eddie caught the bag and opened it with his teeth, pouring an indecent amount of bears into his mouth.

As he stared up at the popcorn ceiling and noshed, his mind couldn’t help but betray him and conjure up a scenario where Steve had answered differently and occupied his mouth with something else.

Steve looked at himself in the mirror. “You’re gonna doll me up a little, aren’t you, with the eye stuff?”

Eddie jumped to his feet, gummy bears scattering across the floor. Oops. He set the bag down on the arm of the sofa. “Of course I am,” he answered with the confidence of a man who had not just been daydreaming about sucking his best friend’s dick two seconds ago.

Eddie usually helped Steve with his stage make-up. While the Alpha was an amazingly talented vocalist, his cosmetic skills were worse than a face painter at a pup’s birthday party.

Eddie knew more than any guy probably should have about makeup. In high school, he had been intensely into Dungeons and Dragons, which sometimes required costuming. Also, one of his close friends had been a cheerleader who had educated him on a lot of things—not limited to beauty and skincare—after she found out what a hopeless homosexual he was.

Steve perched on the dressing room’s stool, waiting patiently for Eddie to paint him up. The last time he’d tried putting on makeup himself, Eddie had laughed, which had bruised his ego, and then there had barely been any time for him to fix it before they’d gone on. He’d vowed never to do it himself again.

Eddie dug through his kit for his eyeshadow palette and popped it open, dabbing his thumb in glittering gold powder and blowing off the excess. “Close, please,” he requested.

It was hard for Steve to close his eyes because Eddie was so fucking pretty. Steve wanted to keep looking, but he obeyed the omega. Steve trusted Eddie. He always improved the way Steve looked, whether it was with makeup or outfit suggestions. Eddie’s dark aesthetic enhanced his preppy style, making him at least look more edgy. Eddie had that ethereal omega beauty most male omegas didn’t have. Truly, Steve never wanted to stop looking at him once he got started.

Eddie gently swiped his thumb along Steve’s eyelids and continued until the color blended to his satisfaction. “Done.”

Steve’s eyelashes fluttered open slowly, meeting beautiful doe eyes staring back at him. He smiled at Eddie sweetly.

Eddie touched Steve’s chin and turned his head for him so he could see the results in the mirror. “Look at that razzle dazzle.”

Steve blushed. Getting painted up was feeling way more intimate than it usually did.

Eddie grinned. “See?” He grabbed the same eye pencil he’d used earlier. Some liner would really make Steve’s eyes pop on stage. “Hold onto me so you stay still for this,” he advised. He had to lean in extra close to do this part, or he’d completely fuck up the lines.

Steve laughed at the instructions but quickly steadied himself and held onto Eddie’s hips. Steve rubbed them when he was finished as a thank you. Eddie’s hip bones were out of this world. “Thanks for making me half as pretty as you.”

Eddie laughed. Leave it to Steve to compliment Eddie when they both knew Steve was the better looking one. He was a gentlealpha for stroking Eddie’s delicate omega ego like that. “Stevie, you know better than anyone that beneath all the smoke and mirrors, there’s nothing but an ugly little rat of a man under here. You’re the beauty; I’m the freak.”

Steve made a face like he always did when Eddie insulted himself. He didn’t like it. He didn't think Eddie was ugly or resembled a rat. Regardless, he smiled a bit at the flattering remark. It made his chest puff out in the typical Alpha’s ego is successfully stroked fashion. 

He let go of Eddie but couldn’t withhold another stronger urge to give affection. As Steve stood up, he leaned in and nuzzled the hell out of the omega. It was an actual scenting, like the ones he reserved for his girlfriends. The breathy noise Eddie made in response and the jackrabbit kick of his heart confused Steve’s brain a little. He pulled back slowly, reluctantly.

The rest of the band shuffled into the room, interrupting them. Steve quickly checked his reflection again. Luckily, he hadn’t messed up what Eddie had just done, thanks to his big nose doing the brunt of the nuzzling.

They began their pre-show group huddle, and Steve gave them a speech reminiscent of his basketball and swim team championships. Gareth and Jeff’s eyes started to glaze over at the sports analogies.

It was dragging on a little, so Eddie slung his arm around Steve’s shoulders and cheerfully interrupted, “Boys, let’s rock and roll!”

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There was nothing like the roar of the crowd, the sea of excited faces waiting just for them, chanting their name as they ran out. Eddie would never get tired of hearing that.

The confetti cannons burst at the start of their first song, and Eddie’s blood sang along with Steve's.

By the middle of their set, Eddie had lost his shirt and shoes, but he was still getting service from Harrington, who kept gyrating his hips in Eddie’s direction and, at one point, had grabbed Eddie’s nipple ring with his teeth.

Near the end of the set, Eddie was so sweaty he could probably bellyflop and glide down the stage like a Slip ’N Slide.

There was a break in their current song, about forty-five seconds of instrumentals, and no vocals: Eddie’s guitar solo.

Steve took ten seconds to play the crowd, going to the edge of the stage and touching the hands of star-struck fans. One girl nearly fainted, her friends catching her when her knees buckled.

Eddie watched, mouthing, “Your majesty!” when Steve turned around. He stuck out his tongue, bratty.

It had its intended effect. Steve crossed the stage and got right up in Eddie’s space. He wrapped himself around Eddie, draping himself along Eddie’s back like a cape. One of his big hands, warm and alive and buzzing from adrenaline and holding the mic, splayed across his abs. (Eddie had those now. Actual abs.) Eddie’s stomach jumped a little, and he felt the vibration of Steve’s laugh, his breath hot against Eddie’s scent gland.

Then, Steve actually had the balls to press his lips against Eddie’s skin and drag his tongue up the side of Eddie’s neck.

That was new for Eddie—and everyone else. The crowd went wild. The girls screamed so deafeningly loud it almost drowned out Eddie’s guitar. Probably a good thing because he fumbled a note and nearly forgot where he was.

Steve laughed again. That absolute fucker. Steve couldn’t have the upper hand. Unacceptable. And the crowd clearly wanted more, more, more. (Just like Eddie wanted more, more, more. Off the stage, away from the audience, alone in their hotel room, on the bed—maybe cuffed to the bedpost.)

Eddie relaxed, tipping his head back onto Steve’s shoulder as his fingers sped up, hammering the frets. He panted out his breaths and pushed his sweaty body back against Steve’s, so Steve was forced to take his weight and hold him tighter. “Two can play at this game,” he hissed playfully.

Because he thought that was what this was. Steve was just playing for the fans, like always. They were competing over who could push this the farthest.

But then Steve looked down at him with something dark and inscrutable in his eyes, something not so familiar that made Eddie’s stomach swoop hard, and then he was tilting Eddie’s chin up and—

They were kissing. Eddie hit the last note on his guitar, and it rang out, his pulse rushing in his ears, his lips moving on their own to kiss Steve back. Too eagerly, too seriously to laugh off to everyone later as a joke, and he let go of his guitar, and it hung there while he reached up to grab Steve’s face and his hair that was still somehow perfectly styled, messing it thoroughly as Steve’s tongue ravaged his mouth.

That was new, too. They'd never kissed each other before. They'd gotten extremely close more than a few times, but like this, for real? No.

The crowd was roaring, but the world around Eddie barely existed until Steve suddenly pulled away and ran back to the mic stand, straddling it, singing to the crowd in a deep, breathy tone. Eddie felt dizzy.

Gareth shot him a look, subtly nodding to Eddie’s limp guitar, and Eddie quickly got with the program again—a huge, fake smirk pasted on that he hoped was convincing. Fuck.

Panicking a little and needing something to obliterate his sudden manic horniness and confusion, Eddie thought, What better way to do that than to dive into a crowd of smelly, sweaty people? Insta-boner killer and slick stopper.

Barb, Mind Flayer’s manager, was going to kill him for this.

Letting out a war cry, Eddie ran towards the edge of the stage and jumped, spread eagle.

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The second they stepped on stage, Steve felt on fire with adrenaline. Goosebumps erupted over his arms when Eddie strummed the first note that kicked off the show.

Steve shot a sultry look in Eddie’s direction as he grabbed the mic and hit his cue. It wasn’t lost on him that what really got the girls and guys going was him and Eddie. Steve shared the spotlight with him. Alphas fawned over Eddie, and the omegas and betas fawned over him. When they played it up with each other, everyone went wild.

It started innocently enough. Embracing Eddie’s body while he played his guitar solo. Eddie losing his platform shoes made him slightly shorter than Steve, and being shirtless made it easy for Steve’s hand to graze Eddie’s hot, sweaty, and toned stomach. His mouth had gone dry again, he was dying for a taste.

Eddie’s scent had been clouding Steve’s mind since he’d walked into the dressing room. Intoxicated, Steve was high off Eddie. He was going feral for him. The second his lips touched Eddie’s skin, Steve knew he was going to scent him much harder than he had earlier. He gave Eddie’s scent gland a slow, rough lick. He could feel the effect immediately. His pupils blew like he’d just consumed the most delicious drug.

He laughed because he was in shock at himself for doing that. The crowd's reaction was one of approval, he could only assume, by the deafening screams.

Eddie leaned back against him while he continued to skillfully play the guitar. Steve had no other choice than to stand there and get rubbed against by the smooth leather covering Eddie’s ass. The payback was sweet; Eddie knew exactly what he was doing to Steve. The rough material of his jeans naturally created a delicious amount of friction between them.

When Eddie looked up at him, Steve guided Eddie’s chin towards him and kissed him. They’d gotten close to kissing a couple of times, but at the last second, one of them would smile or pull back. Always playing, always teasing. This time, it really happened.

Steve knew better than to scent an omega without explicit permission, but his hormones were absolutely raging, and they both consensually scented each other in the dressing room. The way Eddie kissed him back was with enough vigor that Steve felt it in his bones. Eddie’s reaction made him feel like what he had done wasn’t wrong. Steve did his best to let go and not suppress his urges anymore. He was burning up and melting.

Why had he waited so long to…?

Oh fuck, the end of Eddie’s guitar solo was his cue to get back on the mic. While Steve wished it was just the two of them on stage, he had to finish the show.

He caught his breath while he pressed the mic back into the stand. When he leaned in to sing the last line, his Alpha voice simmered just below the surface.

Suddenly, the music stopped, and Eddie’s guitar was thrust into his possession. With his baby in safe hands, Eddie took a graceful nosedive off the mother fucking stage. He was quickly surfing his way through the crowd.

All Steve could do was stand there while a sea of security guards hustled to grab the omega before he got eaten alive. Steve felt a white-hot rage he’d never experienced before as Eddie’s body got violated by their fans.

God damn it, Eddie was his.

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The fans were about as enthusiastic to get their paws on him as Eddie had expected. At first, it was actually pretty fucking fun, looking up at the metal rafters and travelling on an ocean of different palms.

Then, it got a little less fun. The touches got more aggressive—grabbing, squeezing, and tearing at his pants. All of his rings and jewelry were taken. He almost fell to the floor a few times. Somebody yanked out a whole handful of his hair and made him squeal. He was like a gangly zebra in a pack of hungry lions.

He’d never admit it, but he was starting to feel just a little bit frightened. By the time security managed to wrangle him back onto the stage, he was howling with laughter, although around ninety percent of it was relief. “What a fucking ride!”

The rest of the band were waiting in the wings. Only Jeff seemed amused. “Dude, that was insane.”

Eddie’s pants hadn’t come all the way off, but it was a damn near thing. The top of his ass cheeks and pubic hair were on full display. Steve moved to shield Eddie’s body from prying eyes. “I got him,” Steve told their main security guard.

Eddie swallowed his tongue when Steve stepped in. He wondered if Steve even realized he’d used his Alpha voice on Reggie.

Then, Steve pulled up what was left of Eddie’s pants, making him squeak, and started herding him back to the dressing room.  

“Steve,” Eddie said, not knowing whether to laugh more, feel embarrassed or get irritated. He felt like a naughty pup. And why was it also making him kinda horny again? Ugh, hormones. “I know you're trying to protect my modesty here, but it’s nothing a million people haven’t seen already.”

The paps had caught him with his clothes more than a few times in the past. Skinny dipping, drunkenly mooning someone, the list went on.

The dressing room door closed behind them, hushing most of the noise. Eddie got steamrolled by Steve’s scent. Usually, he smelled comforting, like a warm chocolate chip muffin. Now, that muffin was incredibly burnt.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked, his voice naturally dropping to something lower and softer. Without the laces, his pants were a losing battle. When Steve let go, Eddie didn't bother to pull them back up again. Steve was seething. His baseline low rumble was currently a loud, angry growl emitting from his throat. No, Steve wasn’t okay. He couldn’t even smell Eddie anymore. His warm, buttery cinnamon cookie scent was gone, and any trace of his own scent on Eddie was long gone, too. All of it was buried under at least a hundred different scents. They all were flooding Steve’s sensitive nose. The concoction made his stomach hurt and his skin crawl. Eddie took that as a no. Steve looked pissed. Smelled pissed. Sounded pissed. They were all probably pissed that he’d ended the show abruptly like that. It must’ve just seemed like he wanted the attention—which, granted, wasn’t untrue because he loved attention even at the worst of times, but… “I didn’t mean to ruin the show.” “I don’t care about the show,” Steve replied. It didn’t feel like it was Eddie’s modesty that he was protecting. It was Eddie who Steve was trying to protect, albeit too late. Eddie had been so careless it made Steve sick to think about what could’ve happened. He was completely disheveled.

“You reek,” Steve blurted out, unable to hold back his emotion or muster any tact.

Eddie almost flinched. It was small—a barely noticeable hunching of his shoulders. Steve had never told him he’d smelled bad before, but of course he did after so many people had marked him.

It wasn’t like Eddie enjoyed having all their scents on him. It felt pretty repulsive, but doing what he did had given him something he’d needed. Being passed around like a toy by the crowd had bitch slapped Eddie back into reality. Steve hadn’t been scenting him for real. That kiss hadn’t been real. It had only been for show, no matter how much it had felt like Steve had wanted him in the moment.

Steve took his shirt off and threw it on the floor. He wasn’t planning on it but wasn’t above throwing a hissy fit. He crossed his arms over his chest and planted his feet, even though he felt like stomping them like a pup who hadn’t gotten the toy he’d wanted. His own scent had turned bitter. He knew it. What had he scented Eddie for? Why had he kissed him? Steve swallowed. He knew why he’d done it, and it hurt that it didn’t seem to mean anything to Eddie. Eddie seemed like he was okay—more than okay. He was acting like he’d had such a thrill and that it had been so much fun.

Steve was close to his rut, so it made sense he would be scentsitive and irritable, especially since he had to share a room with Eddie and would be sleeping near him. Maybe his rut was coming sooner than they thought.

Steve finally looked directly at Eddie, and that was when he noticed. “Fuck. You’re bleeding.” “I’m fine, Stevie,” Eddie said, giving the Alpha a smile that felt uncomfortable on his face. “I can barely feel anything. My scalp is just weeping because it’s gonna have to do some work to regrow that.”

Steve swallowed his pride, uncrossed his arms and went over to get a better look at Eddie’s head. He made a soft noise when he saw Eddie’s hair was just gone in one spot. Granted, the man had a lot of hair, so it could easily be hidden, but it still looked bad. He’d been wounded. “That’s gotta hurt. We gotta get you cleaned up, man.”

Some bruises were forming on Eddie’s alabaster skin, too, and Steve noticed all his accessories were gone. Eddie’s favorite belt, bracelets and rings.

Any other time, Eddie would have squeezed Steve’s shoulders to calm him, but it was clear that his touch would only make things worse right now. Steve looked so tense. He was shirtless. Steam was practically rolling off of him, and his scent wasn’t easing up. 

While Eddie was calm, crashing after the high of his ridiculous stage dive and body surfing stunt, Steve was just getting hotter and hotter.

Eddie grabbed his sweater from the crushed velvet armchair and pulled it on. The adrenaline started to wear off, making him cool down rapidly, and his hands began to tremble. Whether it was from nicotine withdrawal or the little stunt he’d pulled, or maybe both, Eddie didn’t know.

He realized too late that the sweater wasn’t his but Steve’s, and muttered an apology. Steve’s unburnt scent was embedded into it. Eddie resisted the urge to pluck the neckline up over his nose and hold it there. They borrowed each other’s clothes all the time when they were on the road. He’d have to make sure it got washed before he gave it back.

They only had one more night together before they all parted ways. Eddie was flying to Hawkins to visit Wayne for a few days before returning to his home in West Hollywood to ride out his heat. He didn’t know when he would see Steve again—maybe not until a few weeks later for their post-tour photoshoot and interview with Rolling Stone.

Steve spun in place again. Stopped. Eddie was wearing his yellow sweater. That gave him a tiny bit of relief. He liked Eddie wearing his scent more than he would admit. He also didn’t like it when Eddie was exposed when it wasn’t entirely his choice.

He shook his head. “We should head to the hotel now. I don’t think the afterparty is a good idea tonight, Eddie.”

Steve knew Eddie wouldn’t like his opinion, but he didn’t care.

Eddie glanced at Steve and then away, leaving the Alpha’s side to dig in his bag by the mirror for his jeans. He turned as he removed the tattered leather pants, kicking them into the garbage bin, and only turned to face Steve again once his jeans were zipped and buttoned. “Why isn’t the afterparty a good idea?”

The night was still young, after all. Eddie didn’t really feel like partying, but maybe getting blackout drunk would stop him from climbing into Steve’s bed and begging for more of what had happened on stage, which could very well happen if he stayed in. Eddie knew he’d be having slick dreams for weeks, if not months, of that fucking kiss. His mind already had it on replay. “Don’t think it’s safe. Not this close to your cycle. What if someone from the crowd got the wrong idea and took advantage of you?” Like they could’ve done when you threw yourself into the chaotic audience. Steve wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if something bad had happened to Eddie. Even if it would’ve been his own damn fault. He felt responsible for what had happened, almost like what he’d done had triggered Eddie to do it. Then, actually not being able to do anything to protect him was too much. He could control the situation by saying no to the party. “So, we’re going back to the hotel now.”

Whether you like it or not, Steve thought. He started to gather up his stuff and called for Barb to get them a car.

Eddie wasn’t as careful as an omega should have been, and Steve knew it. It worried him to no end when Eddie would go off to be with some rando after a show. If tonight was any indication of how reckless Eddie could be, Steve couldn’t imagine what else could be pulled and with who. 

Eddie paused, taken aback. They both knew he was an omega who was capable of protecting himself. He could be wildly irresponsible, too, but his self-defence skills were on the same level as an Alpha’s. The response only solidified in Eddie’s mind that Steve was very close to his rut—and for some reason, Steve’s pre-rut instincts were being directed towards Eddie.

He guessed it made sense, considering how close they were. Steve had no other omegas he’d been around as frequently as Eddie lately besides Gareth, but their relationship was more formal.

Eddie didn’t want Steve to come to the afterparty with him if he was going into rut. Forget Eddie; Steve could be taken advantage of. Eddie loved the guy, but he was painfully oblivious about some things.

He also didn’t want Steve to be alone in their hotel room while he went out. Not because Steve could potentially find himself a rut partner and bar Eddie from the room…

…Okay, exactly because of that.

Eddie opened his mouth, but Steve had already moved on from the subject and was trying to move out the door.

“Wait—“ Eddie stopped Steve with a hand to his bare, very furred chest. “You’re going to make the omegas faint if you go out like that.”

Christ, Steve was really warm. And he wasn’t thinking clearly. Eddie quickly let go when he noticed Steve reacting badly. He pulled out a tank top from his duffle and held it out. It was threadbare and soft—not likely to irritate Steve’s skin.

Steve put his hands on his hips and turned around. He didn’t know what to do. He was burning up, so he didn’t want to put the shirt on. He wanted to get the fuck out of there and take the coldest shower he could stand. He dropped his hands and took the top. The scent on the shirt was untainted Eddie, so he wasn’t going to object. Making omegas faint was a thing that had happened, but only a couple of times. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, so Steve complied. Luckily, it was just a tank top, too. He didn’t think he could handle a shirt with sleeves.

“Happy?” he asked Eddie once he pulled it on, magically feeling a little calmer.

Steve looked even sluttier now than he did shirtless, somehow. “Still going to make them faint,” Eddie muttered, stepping into his boots and hiking his bag onto his shoulder. 

Steve heard the quiet comment as he led the way out. It made him smirk, but he knew he didn’t have that effect on Eddie anyway. He’d never make Eddie faint.

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The rest of the band weren’t ready to leave yet and would get a separate car, so they said a quick goodbye.

“See you at the after party?” Jeff asked them, his arm around the shoulders of an omega groupie who was giggling into his neck.

“Maybe,” Eddie hedged.

At the same time, Steve growled, “No,” with enough force to raise Jeff’s eyebrows.

“Alright.” Jeff shrugged, happy to ignore them as the groupie murmured something in his ear.

Steve was deaf to Jeff’s response and blind to the slutty female omega hanging on his arm. He was too busy glaring at Eddie for having said maybe. He had said no and meant it. Neither one of them were going to the after party.

Eddie wrapped his arms around his middle as they exited the theatre, and security escorted them to their waiting car. A few paps got pictures of them despite security’s efforts to shield them.

Steve’s brow softened. Usually, they would huddle close together to make it easier for security to block them, but not this time.

Steve followed Eddie into the car. The smaller space wasn’t helping his nausea from the cacophony of scents still raging.

“You want me to shower in Gareth’s room?” Eddie asked once they were settled in the backseat. To be courteous to Steve’s scentsitivity. Gareth wouldn’t mind.

“No, of course you don’t have to shower in Gareth’s room. You can take the first shower, though.” He’d feel better once Eddie was in the safety of their own room and smelled like himself again. The ride wasn’t tense exactly, but Eddie could feel how much Steve didn’t want to be in the car with him. He was pressed against the door as far away from Eddie as possible. Eddie tried not to wilt in rejection.

Steve rested his hot forehead against the cool window. He felt bad for telling Eddie that he smelled bad, but he was angry, and Eddie really did fucking reek. “Sorry about what I said,” Steve added. “We had a good show. It was fun.”

Eddie was surprised by the apology, but he shook his head. “It’s okay, Stevie,” he answered softly.

He had an incredibly overpowering urge to take off his seatbelt and remove all distance between them. Climb into Steve’s lap and cuddle the motherfucking shit out of him. He held onto the seat instead, knuckles turning white as he resisted.

It stung a little the way Steve sprang out as soon as the car stopped, but Eddie understood.

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“You could have been seriously hurt,” was the first thing Barb said to him as she approached them, leading them into the hotel. “I know you don’t like them, but we have safety protocols for you guys for a reason.”

Steve nodded silently in agreement with her but decided not to pile on as Eddie took the gentle lashings with a hangdog head and a sheepish smile. “I know. Won’t happen again, I promise.”

“You’re damn right it won’t,” Barb replied, but her glare softened behind her gold-rimmed glasses, and she smiled back at him after a moment. She left them with a compliment. “You did great out there, by the way. Steve, you’ve never sounded better.”

Eddie smiled a little as Steve’s face turned pink under her compliment. “She’s right,” he said.

Barb handed over their room key, and they said goodbye. Steve led the way to the elevator, Eddie trailing behind slightly.

When they entered the room, Steve dropped his bag, popped the button on his jeans, and fell back onto the bed. “Eddie. Shower. Now,” he ordered. He turned over on his side and grabbed the phone off the nightstand. “I’m calling room service. Do you want anything?”

The demand from Steve shouldn’t have sent a happy zing up Eddie’s spine, but it did. It made him wonder (probably for the millionth time since they’d met) what Steve’s Alpha voice would feel like. Probably fantastic.

“Yes, Alpha,” he sing-songed, dropping his duffle on his bed and kicking off his boots. “Pick something for me?”

Eddie didn’t feel like deciding what to eat, and Steve knew what he liked. He hadn’t eaten much since breakfast, too focused on prepping for the show. Steve might have fed him a few bites of his sandwich at lunch. He couldn’t remember. It felt like a long time ago.

Steve was still burning up, but the response from the omega made him shiver. He liked being obeyed. “Sure.”

“Thank youuu.”

Eddie went to the bathroom and closed the door. Didn’t bother locking it. His reflection almost made him laugh. No wonder everyone had had such a reaction. His makeup was smeared, and his hair was giving Medusa vibes. Those paparazzi pics were going to be interesting. He looked like he’d gone through a car wash without a car. “Bozo the fucking clown,” he said under his breath.

Even if Steve wasn’t straight, why the hell would he want this?

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Steve was starving. He was craving red meat and potatoes. He knew Eddie would want something lighter, so he ordered him a grilled cheese and the soup of the day. Then he ordered red wine, champagne and cake, too. Just because they weren’t going to the after party, didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate.

While Steve wanted to undress, he figured he’d stay decent enough to answer the door. After he hung up the phone, he took off his shoes.

They were pretty high in one of the presidential suites. Their windows had no curtains, which had made sleeping in the night before difficult, but the view was worth it. Steve stood at the large window overlooking the city. He was still in a bit of shock that they were there. He hadn’t become used to the lifestyle or the fame yet.

Eddie’s shower was going on longer than Steve thought it would. He thought he heard Eddie cry out, but when he went to the door and pressed his ear against it, he didn’t hear anything else.

The food arrived pretty quickly, and Steve gave the bellboy a good tip. He poured some wine for himself and sat down at the table. The guy must’ve thought Steve’s mate was in the shower. He scurried around, insisting on dressing the table in a tablecloth. He lit two candles, too, making the room look incredibly romantic. Steve tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but gave up and just allowed it since he didn’t feel like explaining.

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Now that he was completely down from his showtime high, Eddie felt everything that had been done to him. Every bruise was throbbing, and it would only feel worse in the morning.

His clothes hit the floor a few seconds later, and he stepped into the shower, eager to wash away the dried sweat, makeup, blood and itchy, filthy scents all over him.

He scrubbed hard and thoroughly, suddenly frantic to get clean, to be Eddie again so that Steve would like him again.

“Ow, ow, ow,” he hissed. The shampoo was burning in the spot where he’d lost hair. He quickly rinsed it out, and the water turned pink.

Once every speck of dirt and scent had swirled down the drain, Eddie finally turned off the taps and stepped out into the foggy room.

The dirty towels from that morning were gone, but the towel rack was empty. Hopefully, the maid hadn’t forgotten to give them fresh ones.

Eddie floundered a little, then went to the door, opening it and sticking just his head out. “Steve? Are there towels out there?”

“Uh…” Steve furrowed his brow, confused as to why there weren’t any towels in the bathroom. Their room had been cleaned. Their beds had been made, too.

He got up from the table and looked around, spotting an abundance of towels stacked neatly under the nightstand. Usually, towels by the bed were reserved for heats and ruts. He grabbed two and brought them over to Eddie.

Again, Eddie’s delicious scent hit him, and Steve’s stomach literally growled out loud.

Eddie heard it. Poor guy. Alphas in rut needed an insane amount of protein to feel good enough to function. Their bodies burned through it quickly since they used so much energy fucking people’s brains out, Eddie supposed.

Steve rubbed his stomach. “Ugh, I gotta eat, man.”

“Thanks. Yeah, don’t wait on my account, big boy. Go eat.” Eddie shooed Steve and retreated to the bathroom.

He dried himself, then wrapped one of them around his hips as best he could. The towels Steve gave him weren’t regular-sized, he realized. Had about as much coverage as a loincloth.

Eddie came out and kneeled awkwardly to dig through his suitcase. He wasn’t prepared for the scent that hit his nostrils, either. Steve had flooded the room with Alpha pheromones, and they were getting stronger by the minute. Enough to make him lightheaded.

Steve took the dome off his plate and found the juiciest steak but nearly choked on the first piece when he saw Eddie. Steve averted his gaze slowly, catching a glimpse not so accidentally. He made a happy little noise, and not just about the meat. Eddie’s scent had returned, and Steve could feel a rumble bubbling up in his chest.

Eddie grabbed some comfortable boxers and an old band t-shirt he’d had since he was a teenager. He’d cut it in half during a particularly scorching summer, so it left his midriff nice and cool. He didn’t bother going back to the bathroom to put them on, changing right there.

When he turned around, he noticed Steve sitting at the kitchenette table.

“Oh,” Eddie said, heat flooding his face. He took in the champagne on ice, the soft glow of the candles, the tablecloth. His stomach lurched. Steve looked like he was waiting for a date. “Are you—um, did you invite someone over? Do you need me to go?”

It was strange, considering Steve had been so adamant Eddie return to the hotel with him, but maybe he had called someone while Eddie was in the shower. He had to realize by now that he was going into rut.

“What?” Steve asked, furrowing his brow. “No, and no. I told you I was ordering food for us. They kinda thought it was more of a romantic occasion… but I thought that since we’re not going to the party, we could still celebrate.” Steve felt bad for putting a damper on their last night together for a while. “I know you like the bubbly stuff.”

The little knot that had tied itself in Eddie’s stomach unwound. “That’s thoughtful, A—Steve,” he corrected himself.

One time calling Steve Alpha as a joke was acceptable. Twice in the same hour put him in the danger zone.

Steve flashed him a smile and got up to pull the second chair away from the table so Eddie would sit with him. Steve stopped him before he did, leaning into his space to scent him gently.

He couldn’t resist. Eddie smelled better than the food and looked like a snack in his comfy clothes. Steve had to restrain himself from licking and nipping him. He had food. He didn’t have to devour Eddie…right now, at least.

Eddie didn’t think much of being scented. He accepted it with a head tilt and a relieved sigh that he hid with a breathy laugh. Family and close friends scented each other casually all the time—he took it as a sign he was back in Steve’s good graces.

The Alpha looked much more relaxed. There was even that endearing rumble tickling Eddie’s ears. Steve sometimes did that when he was enjoying himself. The hotel’s chef must have really nailed that steak.

“Are you happy with the choice I made for you?” Steve asked. “If not, I know you’ll like the cake.” Eddie loved sweet things, so Steve knew the cake would do.

Eddie resisted the urge to wrap his arms around Steve and hang onto him like a koala. He lifted the metal dome over his plate instead. Soup and grilled cheese were the second thing he was craving. The first thing wasn’t on the menu. “You always know what I want,” he answered.

Steve was attentive like that. When it came to everything except… well, you know. Nobody on earth knew Eddie better than Steve, not even his only living relative.

Steve was pretty pleased with himself after receiving Eddie’s compliment. It fed his ego perfectly. He reached for the champagne. “You wanna pop it? I know it’s like your favorite part.” He chuckled and handed the bottle to Eddie.

Using his thumbs, Eddie popped the cork on the champagne bottle. They cheered as it foamed over, and Eddie poured them each a glass before sitting in the chair Steve had pulled out for him. “To Mind Flayer?” he suggested. “And another tour success.”

They toasted.

“Are you looking forward to going home and sleeping in your own bed again?” Eddie asked once he had sat down and taken a sip of champagne, trying to ignore the way the candles were making Steve’s eyes look darker than usual. Eddie probably wasn’t going to survive the rest of the night.

Steve sipped from his glass. The liquid was refreshingly cold from being on ice. Steve hadn’t cooled down yet, so he threw back the entire glass to help do that. He wasn’t aware of what was happening to him yet—what Eddie’s proximity and scent were doing to him.

He wasn’t sure how to answer Eddie’s question. “I’m going to miss you.”

Steve felt his lips tingle after he said it. He knew it wasn’t just from downing the bubbly way too fast. They’d kissed. Steve hadn’t had time to process it or reflect because of what had happened after.

Eddie did a lot of things that made Steve want to kiss him. Naturally, he was adorable, but finally, Steve had given in to his impulses. It wasn’t Eddie who’d instigated it, but he’d kissed Steve back, and Steve couldn’t quit thinking about it. Their kiss hadn’t been chaste. Steve had been able to taste the gummy bears Eddie had eaten and everything.

He’d always had a feeling Eddie had a thing for him. He’d tried his best to ignore it, feeling like it wouldn’t be right even though he played into it on stage. They’d never really crossed the line.

Off stage, he’d tried to be with women, but he hadn’t been able to commit to any of them. Weirdly, he felt like he had been betraying Eddie, and he hadn’t found anyone significant. He hadn’t been happy going through the motions every time their tours ended. He was not looking forward to going back home and being alone in his bed.

“I’ll miss you too, dude,” Eddie said, hiding a pleased smile behind a bite of grilled cheese. Maybe the casual use of dude would help deflect the way his scent perked up like a flower in the sun.

Eddie didn’t miss his place one bit. He was thinking of getting a cat. Now that the tour was over, he would have plenty of free time he wouldn’t know what to do with. Getting a pet was a solid idea. Eddie had never had one before. Cats were cuddly and warm and could take up some of the vast space and silence in his house. Maybe he would get several cats.

“It’s so hot,” Steve complained.

He had to take the tank top off. He pulled it from the bottom up and over his head in one fell swoop. Steve sighed as he let it drop to the floor, which only helped slightly.

He reached into the champagne bucket for ice. Steve got a piece and moved it up his neck to his jaw. It felt so good that he moaned a little, but the ice cube melted in seconds.

Any thoughts about felines fell right out of Eddie’s head when Steve started molesting himself with an ice cube. Eddie’s eyes widened into saucers, fist clenching around his spoon. What in the wet o dream was going on here?

“Gotta get out of these fucking pants,” Steve added. While the button wasn’t attacking him anymore, the heavy fabric was roasting him.

Eddie tried to keep acting normal. The shirt was okay—Eddie was used to Steve losing that during the night, but when the pants came off, Eddie dropped his spoon and choked on his soup. It went down the wrong pipe. He coughed. Thumped his chest. “Usually, it’s tequila that makes people’s clothes fall off,” he wheezed.

Sweet baby Jesus, he was gonna die today.

If this were a date, Eddie would absolutely be getting lucky. But since it wasn’t—

“How about we open a window?” Eddie got up, giving the almost naked Alpha a wide berth as he went to approach the one closest to them. He grabbed the handles and heaved upwards. Nothing happened. “Christ, it's stuck.”

He tried again to no avail when suddenly two muscled arms appeared by his sides, and two big paws circled his wrists. “Let me try, Eds.”

“Good day, biceps, my fair gentlemen,” Eddie said to them.

The joke was weak due to the fact he sounded like he was being strangled. He could feel Steve’s body heat along his back even though they weren’t touching. There was a small, minuscule space between them. Steve was like a furnace. Eddie let Steve remove his hands from the handles, and Steve’s hands settled onto them instead.

Steve laughed. He was still reeling over the tequila reference. It only stroked his ego more. His Alpha had a raging hard on from the omega’s continued praise. It stupidly fueled his faith that he could get the window open for them.

He leaned into Eddie instead of suggesting he move. It felt like Eddie being sandwiched between him and the window was helping somehow. His scent was so strong; the aroma was like Steve had just walked into a French bakery. The freshly baked chocolate croissant was calling his name.

Eddie should have ducked out, but for some reason, he stayed frozen where he was. There was straining, veins bulging, and some grunting right in Eddie’s ear that he really had to try not to imagine in a different scenario.

Finally, he could bear the torture no more. Also, the window wasn’t budging. Not a fucking inch. (And, of course, that had Eddie thinking about how many inches Steve had in those paper-thin boxers.)

“Steeeve, I don’t think these were built to open,” Eddie said, not turning around and subtly clenching his cheeks because his slick was trying to make a damn prison break and also, hey, that was an erection. “Maybe we should try the air con.”

Why hadn’t he thought of that first?

Steve should’ve realized the window was sealed shut. Hotels didn’t take kindly to people jumping out of their windows. Eddie was right, even though opening a window was his idea. “Oh yeah,” he murmured, pulling back.

Steve went over to the thermostat and cranked it down, then moved to stand in front of the vent and breathed a tiny sigh of relief as the cool air blasted hard enough to blow his hair back. A happy rumble left his lips, and after a minute, he joined Eddie, who had returned to the table. “Wine time,” Steve declared.

He poured a generous amount into their glasses and sat back down. Steve’s temperature was no longer spiking, but Eddie was smelling more and more delicious. “Eddie, you smell so fucking good. I feel like devouring you instead.”

Steve reached for Eddie’s hand and tugged it across the table, pressing his whole face against Eddie’s inner arm and nuzzling his way up. Steve scented him again and playfully gnawed. “Would you be okay with that?” he asked, eyes dark and hungry. 

Eddie had folded his napkin strategically across his lap. He had barely recovered from what would forever be referred to in his spank bank as the window incident when Steve unleashed more on him. Eddie was glad he hadn’t taken a sip of wine yet because he would have sprayed it all over the table. Instead, he failed spectacularly to repress a noise and a full-body shiver.

Was he hallucinating? Had the loud concerts finally gotten to his ears and damaged them?

“Would I…” Eddie swallowed. Hard. Would he be okay with that? Fuck yes! “I think we should have some cake! You probably just have a sweet tooth.”

Steve was leaning across the table, almost like he was going to kiss Eddie again (sweet mother of fucking mercy). In a desperate attempt not to give in and just let it happen, Eddie snatched his arm back and picked up his fork, stopping Steve’s trajectory with a big mound of cake. “Here, eat up.”

Eddie didn’t give Steve much choice unless he wanted icing smeared all over his face. While Steve worked on his mouthful, Eddie picked up his wineglass and threw it back, throat working as he downed the whole thing and stared determinedly at the wall instead of Steve, who was still trying to penetrate him with his eyes.

Jesus, who’d never listened to Eddie once in his entire life, help him.

“Alright, Alpha— fuck, Steve, you’re going into rut,” Eddie said. It didn’t feel right—not morally —no matter how happy his omega was by the turn of events. Steve seemed not in his proper mind anymore. At all. “You are in a vulnerable state. I can’t let this continue, even if I do want to offer my body as dessert.”

What was he saying? Was the wine already hitting him? He wasn’t really a wine drinker, but surely his tolerance for it wasn’t so weak. Eddie deflected and ripped his arm away so swiftly that Steve couldn’t compute what had happened. Since Eddie had shoved the cake directly into his mouth next, he couldn’t even make a noise in protest. The rush of moist chocolate cake wasn’t what he was craving. It was too much. Steve tried not to choke on it. He had difficulty chewing it and getting it down, so he had to sip the wine to dissolve it quickly. He wasn’t happy that Eddie had done that or about what he’d said. “You didn’t wear your blockers tonight,” Steve pointed out when he could finally talk. He still had enough sense to know that he wasn’t hot and bothered for no fucking reason at all. He picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth free of icing and crumbs.

Eddie was hot as hell, so there was always that, too, but he’d scented Steve. Threw himself in Steve’s lap and scented his entire stomach when he’d bit at it. The antics in the dressing room had only escalated on stage, and being that close and intimate enough to kiss an almost ripe omega had accelerated it, too. “I don’t have to worry about you taking advantage of me. And there isn’t a crowd of fifty thousand people you can throw yourself into in our room.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest.

Okay, so he still wasn’t fucking over that. He couldn’t stay mad, though. He cared about Eddie a lot.

Steve knew that he had the power to make Eddie succumb. He wouldn’t. He wanted and needed Eddie’s permission. Steve couldn’t take advantage of the nearest omega like some Alphas did. Eddie was the most important omega in his life. He wasn’t going to tarnish their relationship.

Eddie’s heart started to pound. “Gareth ran out of blockers. I gave him mine. I wasn’t trying to bait you or manipulate you or anything.” Not consciously, anyway. His instincts were a bit more tricky, but he hadn't had some slinky plan to induce Steve’s rut. “And even if I had been, I wouldn’t expect it to work. You’ve never been into me that way. Not in private.”

At least, that had been what Eddie had always assumed up until tonight.

As for his other behavior… Eddie shrugged weakly. He didn't have an excuse. “But I can’t always help the way I act around you.”

Eddie’s omega was convinced Steve was the one for him, and it was hard to argue with it.

Steve didn’t think Eddie was trying to do anything by not wearing his blockers, but he couldn’t deny what it had done to him. Steve already had a natural magnetic pull towards Eddie. He could never fully figure out why. He hadn’t gotten to experience Eddie’s scent like this until now. It was the missing piece.

Of course, Steve knew blockers were the best protection for an unmated omega, and they had to be worn constantly when they were in crowded public places. It kept Eddie safe against any Alpha that had bad intentions. It was imperative on show days where there were known to be rabid fans.

Steve reached out to touch Eddie’s arm again so the omega would look at him. “I know the timing is fucked up, Eddie, but I can promise that if I didn’t really want you, I wouldn’t have insisted that we come back here. Especially when you didn’t smell like you or me for a little while.”

That had really bothered Steve. He didn’t realize how much until now and what he’d blurted out. He’d never experienced it before. He didn’t like his omega smelling like anyone other than him. He knew he didn’t want Eddie’s scent to be tainted by anyone else ever again. Steve didn’t think it was his rut talking. He felt like claiming Eddie tonight so this wouldn’t happen ever again.

“The kiss on stage. Scenting me. That was for real,” Eddie said slowly. “Not just for the fans?”

It was maybe redundant after what Steve had just said, but Eddie wanted direct, verbal validation. Maybe it was the omega part of him.

“You’re the prettiest man I’ve ever seen, but chicks, man.” Steve thought he was one hundred percent straight. He had been a bit of a hound dog when it came to women. “Felt like I wasn’t allowed to,” he acknowledged. He thought he had to be with female omegas and hadn’t experienced a male one until he’d walked into Eddie’s band. Steve had always thought Eddie was attractive. He wasn’t blind. “You’re a guy,” Steve pointed out, then laughed because, yeah. “Obviously…” It had given him major reservations at first. Guys had liked him before, but he’d never liked any of them back until Eddie.

Steve had been apprehensive about fan service, but he was so comfortable with Eddie that it hadn’t felt wrong. It had only made their shows better. It had become fun to push the boundaries of his sexuality and their Alpha and omega dynamics. It had pushed other people’s buttons and had gotten them talking, making their band even more popular and Eddie a gay icon. “It was real,” Steve confirmed. “I wouldn’t kiss you for fan service, especially not for the first time. I couldn’t help it… I had to.”

Steve hadn’t been thinking. His hormones had been raging—still were—and his real feelings had taken over. He wasn’t sure if it’d make headlines since the more pressing news was the epic stage dive.

Eddie waited patiently while Steve explained his feelings in his own way, not trying to interrupt, just letting him work it out. It was probably the most quiet and attentive Eddie’d ever been in his life, but this was Steve. He was fucking important.

It all made perfect sense, even though part of Eddie still couldn’t quite believe his feelings were being reciprocated. And hey, what, hello, prettiest man he’d ever seen? That could not be correct. 

He thought it tragic that Steve had thought he wasn’t allowed to like omega men all this time. Didn’t surprise Eddie, but it made him sad and angry at their closed-minded society for drilling that into Steve’s head.

“I wanted to keep your scent on me.” Eddie touched Steve’s hand, upset with himself. Steve seemed genuinely wounded by what he’d done. He always got a little waspish when he was hurt. “I only jumped because I panicked. I didn't think it was real, and I didn't want you and everyone to see how much I…”

Eddie stopped. Poured himself another glass of wine because it was suddenly confession hour, and he was spilling his guts. He had been dreading this conversation since the day they’d met. Had hoped it would never happen because he had never pictured it ending well. He didn't want to lose Steve, and he was sure that would happen when Steve figured out just how deeply Eddie felt for him. This wasn't some light-hearted puppy love, as much as Eddie tried to twist it that way in his head when he was “harmlessly” flirting.

“I just don’t think I can do this if…” Eddie took a deep breath and looked Steve in the eye, ”…if it’s going to be a one-time thing. I feel more than want for you, Steve—more than like for you, and I have for a long time. I’m not asking you to claim me,” he added quickly, nervously. “You don’t, uh, have to do that. Obviously. Just—I’d want to date you.”

Hearing Eddie's confession melted Steve’s heart a little. “You wanna date?” he asked. “You’ll allow me to court you? So, if we fucked tonight, it wouldn’t be in sin after all?”

Eddie went to toy with one of his rings but forgot it wasn't there, and he ended up rubbing his mating ring finger in an accidentally telling way. He smiled uncertainly. “I don’t want to be friends who fuck. Or friends who fuck and then go back to being just friends. Don’t think I could stand it, honestly.”

Steve’s teasing smirk softened. “Honestly, I don’t think I’d be okay if I never even got the chance to claim you.”

Steve knew his rut was responsible for him wanting to claim Eddie right now. He felt ready because he’d been so angry about not getting to have Eddie in the first place that he just wanted it to be official already. He knew he hadn’t scented Eddie thoroughly enough, so he got up and dropped down in Eddie’s lap.

Eddie’s body was practically vibrating with need for contact. Like Steve knew that, he was suddenly there, sinking his heavy, reassuring weight on Eddie and laying that delectable chocolate scent all over Eddie’s neck. Eddie leaned back with a groan, making the chair creak (it probably wasn’t suited to hold the weight of two grown men).

“Babe, consider me courted.” Really, it didn’t take much more than that. This was his dream come true. Eddie laughed, and even that sounded like he was in ecstasy, threaded with a deep purr that didn't make an appearance very often. “Besides, you’re the one who needs my courting before I pop your cherry.”

Two could play at the teasing game, always, and Eddie was relieved to get back to their banter. Now, it was just sexier. Steve was a virgin who’d never experienced men before, after all—and there Eddie was, unworthy but happy as hell and honored to be the one to give him all the experience he could ever want.

“Hello, thunder thighs.” He meant that in the best way possible. Eddie squeezed them greedily because he was allowed to do that now. He tipped his head up to look at Steve, putting on his silky omega voice. “You know, a few perks come with dating a male omega, and one of them is…”

It had been enough time that his legs no longer felt like cooked spaghetti. Eddie stood up, taking all one hundred and sixty pounds of Steve with him, and dropped his sweaty body onto the bed. Eddie smirked. “ We can do shit like that.”

Steve was turning red, his temperature spiking again. It was a first, getting carried and thrown onto the bed like he was the one who was going to get fucked. Eddie was strong. Steve didn’t hate it.

“That was hot,” Steve said, rumbling as he pushed himself to sit up. He pulled Eddie by the shirt and guided him into his lap. “Don’t think you should be wearing this anymore.”

Steve removed it for him, and as soon as it was off, he went in for a kiss. Eddie tasted sweeter than he had on stage. It felt good to be kissing again. Properly, without a time crunch, and in the privacy of their room where they didn’t have to stop.

All of Eddie’s weight baring down on him felt good, too. Steve’s hands settled on Eddie’s ass. They needed something to hold onto. Since Eddie had shamelessly groped his thighs, it was only fair that Steve kneaded Eddie’s ass like dough through his boxers. It was the only other fluffy part of Eddie’s body besides his hair. Steve had always admired it.

“For the record, the only thing that’s getting popped tonight is my knot,” Steve promised, locking eyes with Eddie.

Like a trained dog, Eddie’s ears perked, and his pupils visibly dilated at the word knot. He’d been trying not to think about Steve’s most of the night. Trying very hard not to think about it stretching him out before locking inside. You know, respectfully, you didn’t think about your best friend’s knot fucking you stupid, especially when said best friend was in the room with you. (It was a little different when you were alone in your bed at 2 AM with your Turbo Knotter 3000 buzzing away.)

Now, that was mostly what was on Eddie���s mind as they kissed again, and Steve massaged his meagre ass like it was more than what it was. Eddie couldn’t resist rocking his hips in Steve’s lap, gushing slick like a river in preparation for it. The other thing that was on his mind was how desperately he didn’t want to fuck this up. He couldn’t be a lousy lay, had to be a good omega, the best omega, couldn’t do something to ruin this—but with his track record…

The thin material between them wasn’t leaving much up to the imagination. Eddie had a big cock—he acted like he did, too—so it wasn’t a surprise for Steve to feel it poking in his stomach. Steve smelled Eddie’s slick and then felt it saturating Eddie’s boxers. He was pleased. He knew he’d done a good job turning an omega on when slick started. He was ravenous for it and its source.

Steve broke the kiss to speak in his Alpha voice. “Let me get you out of these, baby. You soaked them, didn’t you? Just for me. I made you get that wet, huh?”

It was a shock, the filth that spilled from Steve’s mouth. Eddie was stunned into almost bashful silence (which wasn’t right because he didn’t do bashful), an aroused flush blotting his cheeks and working its way down his neck. He’d never experienced Steve’s Alpha voice. It was better than he’d imagined. Between his thighs, he throbbed with want.

In the past, he may have heard Steve’s voice through the paper-thin walls of the motels they used to stay at, but that was more painful than stimulating since it had been directed at whoever Steve had brought to his den for the night.

“Just for you,” Eddie echoed with a dumb smile.

Steve smiled devilishly. He pushed Eddie’s boxers down over his ass, then laid him back at the end of the bed so he could take them the rest of the way off. “I’m totally keeping these, by the way.” Steve sniffed them playfully, then tossed them to the floor.

Eddie had been reduced to a lovesick, brain-dead groupie. Future him would be sickened remembering his impulse to do anything for Steve’s voice. The way his body melted under it. He was glad he had the mattress underneath him for support. He was so wet, now rid of his boxers that Steve apparently wanted to keep as a snack for later, that he was making a puddle on the bed. “They’re all yours, gorgeous. Have them.”

Way to be subtle, Munson. Might as well have said you own me.

Speaking of owning, Eddie didn’t touch his dick, even though it was arching up along his belly and painfully hard, flushed dark red and ready for use. His omega was telling him that also belonged to Steve now. He could do whatever he wanted with it.

Steve sighed, rumbling deeply at the sight before him. He didn’t know where to start.  He spotted some slick on Eddie’s milky and much skinnier thigh and leaned down to lap it up with his tongue. “Fuck, it’s good,” Steve praised.

He got down between Eddie’s thighs and licked and sucked his way up to the source, lifting Eddie’s legs for full access to his ass.

Eddie’s breath hitched. Steve liked how he tasted?

“Been a while since anybody’s been down there. Might have to clear the cobwebs and bats out before you start.” A crappy joke. Eddie began rambling. Why was he fucking nervous? Oh yeah, because he was living his fantasy. He should have drunk that second glass of wine. “Thought I might have to be your teacher during this quest, but you—mh!” Steve’s lips were kissing his hole, his tongue circling Eddie’s sensitive rim. Eddie whined, legs closing briefly around Steve’s head before he got ahold of himself and opened them again. “You seem to be doing okay down there without my tutelage.”

Tutelage? Did he just say tutelage in the middle of sex?

Steve would’ve laughed if his mouth wasn’t busy. Eddie was so fucking cute. He was hungry. While he hadn’t eaten ass before, he didn’t hesitate. His need for Eddie was the driving factor behind his confidence. The fact that it had been a while since Eddie had an Alpha between his legs pleased Steve, too.

Eddie’s slick was delicious. Steve took his time licking and kissing. All he could think about was making Eddie feel as good as he could, considering it’d been a while and that he didn’t even know what the fuck he was doing. He just wanted Eddie to feel treasured and give him some good foreplay.

Steve’s face was getting messy. He loved it. When Eddie’s thighs put him in a headlock, he figured what he was doing was good. He could fuck him easily with his tongue. The texture was new, but the gush of slick onto his tongue made him hum happily. This was the sweetest slick he’d ever experienced. It was so addicting.

Eddie groaned. “M’already fucking this up, aren’t I?” Eddie closed his eyes, sinking his fingers into Steve’s hair, which was still semi-stiff and crunchy from all the Dippity Do. He tried to relax and stop thinking so hard. “Swear I’m usually better than this.”

Not too many of his past partners had done this to him before. Eddie wasn’t particularly interesting down there. His cock he was incredibly proud of, but he knew as far as omegas went, his ass was kind of a snore. Being up close and personal with it like Steve was probably wasn't as exciting as Steve was used to. Eddie knew he didn't compare to any of the curvy female omegas Steve had been with.

Eddie was fine with his lack of assets now, of course, but when he’d first started hooking up with Alphas, the lack of compliments had felt admittedly shitty, especially when he knew other omegas got a lot of them during sex. He’d had to work extra hard to get praise and attention there or pretend he didn’t care. Felt like he didn’t deserve any.

Now that he was famous, guys would tell him anything he wanted to hear and more, but it was rarely genuine.

Steve was confused. What was Eddie talking about? He was having a good time. He was working his way up to getting laid. They both were, but Eddie was worrying about being a good omega. Steve didn’t want to, but he had to stop and keep Eddie from spiralling. He licked up from Eddie’s hole, along his taint and balls and finally lifted his head to look up at him.

“You know, whenever I’m getting head, I never think about if I’m doing a good job.” He had to tease. He just wanted Eddie to enjoy this.

Steve was sitting up, which made Eddie panic a little, thinking things were ending, but it was probably for the best since he was starting to tense up so much that his slick had nearly stopped. He laughed weakly and resisted throwing an arm over his eyes. “Perk of being an omega: constantly needing validation.”

All omegas were whores for praise. Eddie didn’t want to be needy, but his biology just dictated some things for him. It was annoying, more times than not, but it was who he was.

“You’re perfect, Eddie. Look at my face.” Steve smiled, soft and big and genuine. “I’m so happy.”

Steve rumbled as he moved up Eddie’s body, kissing everything, his dick, stomach and chest. When he got to Eddie’s neck, he scraped his canine teeth along it.

Eddie made a noise, torn between embarrassment and that natural euphoria pleasing the Alpha elicited. Perfect? Was Steve telling the truth or just pitying him? It felt genuine, was the thing. Steve wasn’t a liar.

The command to look was easy to follow. Steve did look happy, actually. His cute little brown eyes were sparkling, the lower half of his face messy with slick, hair messy, debauched. Eddie smiled back, a gentle purr vibrating through his chest. 

“Being with you like this is making me so fucking nervous, Stevie,” Eddie confessed with a chuckle as Steve laid kisses on him that felt like little electric buzzes against his skin. As if it wasn’t obvious already, and the way his heart was pounding like Gareth’s drums under Steve’s lips. “I’m a wreck. I’ve thought about this—you—a lot.” Don’t want you to regret me.

There was a low ache in Steve’s belly when he got his mouth on Eddie’s neck. His knot started throbbing. Eddie’s words were music to Steve’s ears. He was so close to biting; his mouth was watering. Eddie’s scent gland was right there.

Eddie pulled Steve’s hips into the vee of his legs, his hands travelling down Steve’s heated back and caressing it. When he felt the sharpness of teeth near his gland, his nails dug in, making Steve gasp, and his eyes fluttered closed. “Fuck,” he breathed. His pulse sped up even more, finding a new rhythm like it was learning a song. “Careful, sweetheart, you might…”

Mate me.

“Don’t be nervous, Eddie bear. I swear I want to. I want you,” Steve said with a possessive growl. He kissed the spot tenderly instead of heeding the warning.

His mating mark would look so good there. Everyone would know Eddie was his, and no one else could claim him. Why wasn’t he claimed yet?

Steve didn’t really know why either of them hadn’t found their mate. Maybe they were waiting for each other. Steve felt a relief tonight for the first time since he’d met Eddie. Eddie had always been closed off to him in a couple of ways. Through their friendship, the band and scent blockers. Their heat and rut schedules were always planned and purposely spent apart.

Steve also didn’t know why he hadn’t taken off his boxers. It was the last thing separating them from full-body contact. Steve moved to get them off. He was still burning up, knowing there wouldn’t be any true relief until he was knot deep inside of Eddie. He sighed a little when he was free and rolled them onto their sides so they could kiss again.

He’d missed Eddie’s mouth. While they kissed, Steve found Eddie’s hand and moved it to wrap around his cock. It needed attention immediately. He wanted Eddie to feel how hard he had gotten because of him.

Somehow, hearing Steve’s sweet nickname for him in the Alpha voice made Eddie’s blush deepen. He tried not to pant like a bitch in heat at the declaration, but it was hopeless. He was gone, gone, gone. Mating bells were ringing in his head. Steve sounded greedy for him. Holy shit. Steve wanted him for keeps. Eddie would do a little jig if he weren’t, y’know, horizontal and busy being utterly seduced.

They were making out again, and Steve’s thigh was between his, pressing up against his wet and sticky cock. Eddie groaned into Steve’s mouth at the friction. It was funny. Eddie had never enjoyed kissing all that much until today. Don’t get him wrong; it was fun sometimes, but more often than not, nothing to write home about. Like, he could do without it easily.

It was nothing like this. Steve tasted like cake and wine and Eddie’s slick, and he knew how to kiss an omega. They fell into sync naturally, both of them going back in for more and more like they would die if they stopped.

Eddie’s lips felt swollen when Steve grabbed his hand—Eddie was a little contrite to note he had just been clutching onto Steve’s side like a lifeline—and guided it to his big, gorgeous cock. It was so heated in his hand. Hard as steel.

“Eddie, baby,” Steve rumbled sweetly in between kisses. “You feel me? You did that because you’re so fucking hot. You have the sweetest slick.”

Eddie squeezed, though he was the one who gasped and shivered as Steve continued to stroke his ego. That was what he’d done. Made Steve hard for him. “I-I feel you,” Eddie responded.

Steve nudged his nose against Eddie’s. “You’re making my knot hurt.” He whined a little as he met Eddie’s gaze.

Eddie ran his thumb along Steve’s throbbing knot reverently and felt an echoing deep throb in his hole, slick running down the back of his thigh.

“You’re gonna let me pop it, huh? I’m gonna fill you up so good. You’ll feel full,” Steve promised. He planned to absolutely ruin Eddie for any other Alpha’s knot. Only his was going to fit. He pulled Eddie’s thigh towards him so he could have access to his ass.

Steve’s rut smell was heady and thick in his nose. Eddie was so thirsty for him that his vision was glazed and blurring, and he was nodding like a bobblehead. “Yes, yeah, yeah, please. Want all of you. Want your knot. Please. Need it, Alpha. Please.”

That was three times he’d said please. His nerves had run away. He really just wanted to be fucked into next Tuesday by his (yes, his!) Alpha.

Steve’s fingertips met so much slick. He rubbed his thumb against Eddie’s hole before pressing his index and middle finger inside. His eyebrows rose, feeling the resistance around his fingers. He slowly twisted his wrist, drilling his fingers to get them in while watching Eddie’s face.

By the time Steve had two fingers inside him, Eddie was so turned on his eyes were trying to roll up in his head, and his leg was trembling around Steve’s hip. Fuck, it felt good. No, it felt fucking incredible. Steve had thick, long fingers. Eddie had watched them closely and touched them when he’d taught Steve how to play the guitar a few years back. (He’d also jerked off furiously after each teaching session because… well because.)

“I know there’s this spot...” Steve worked Eddie open. His tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth as he focused on feeling it.

Steve’s concentrated expression was hilarious and endearing as hell, but Eddie was in no state to tease him because Steve had found his golden ticket.

“Oh god, oh my god, oh my god,“ Eddie moaned. Too loud, too loud, shit. It had only been a short, experimental press of Steve’s finger pads, but it left Eddie shaking like an overstimulated chihuahua and gushing slick.

“Fuck yeah, there it is.” Steve grinned and added a third finger, readying Eddie to take his knot.

Eddie’s hand had gone limp around Steve’s dick since his brain had leaked out of his ears, but he got with the program again and renewed his grip, stroking Steve from knot to tip to the same rhythm Steve was fingering him.

The head of Eddie’s cock knocked against Steve’s from the fast motions. Eddie whimpered and tightened around Steve’s fingers as pre-come jetted out, hitting Steve’s chest and getting caught in his hair. “Steve, now? Now, please? I’m gonna co—not gonna—make it.”

Fingering was hot and a lot of fun. Steve loved using his hand first. He knew, without the declaration, that Eddie was going to come. “Oh, Eddie,” he said. “Baby, you can come now. I promise it won’t be the only time you’ll get to.”

Steve kept his fingers firmly inside of Eddie. He wasn’t going to stop, especially with the way Eddie was quivering. He was going to make it happen. It’d be cruel to stop and start again with him this close. Steve loved to get omegas off, especially without it directly triggering his own need to come.

It helped that Eddie was touching him. His hand was big and fit around Steve’s cock and knot perfectly, stroking everything. He moaned softly in Eddie’s ear. “You’re making me feel so good. It's so hot that you’re gonna come for me already. Just from my fingers? That’s amazing. You’re such a good omega. You’re easily pleased by your Alpha, aren’t you?”

Another shock to Eddie’s system was Steve’s… kindness towards him. Generosity. Those words didn't go together with sex. He wanted to make Eddie come more than once? Even though he was in rut that had to be demanding he just flip Eddie over and mount him already. It didn't make sense why he was putting Eddie’s needs before his own. It didn’t make any sense at all.

All the Alphas Eddie had ever been with treated him the opposite. It was never good omega. It was always bad omega. Needy slut. Desperate whore. You’re just pathetic for it, aren’t you?

And sure, Eddie looked like the type who would be into that sort of thing, he’d admit. His whole persona kinda screamed I’m a brat, put me in my place. He didn’t look like an omega who wanted to be treated nicely, and he’d never corrected anybody who’d assumed so.

But he was that kind of omega. It actually stung sometimes—okay, every time—he was called names like that. Made him feel as worthless as a broken guitar string. The worst part was that his partners had never had any problem crossing the finish line, even if Eddie had gone limp.

So this, being called good? Being hot? Making Steve feel good? Being his baby…Shit, it was like nothing Eddie had ever experienced, and it was hitting him so hard he probably could have come from the affirmations alone. Eddie was making animal noises instead of actual words. There was a direct line from his ear to his heart to his dick. The prostate stimulation was now just a bonus. The cherry on top.

Steve dug his fingers into the spot he found and jackhammered them as Eddie whined and came between them. Steve kissed him once more before gently pulling his fingers out and pulling back. “I can’t wait to give you my knot.”

Eddie had never come so hard in his life, and as the pleasure center in his brain lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July, it became Eddie’s sworn duty—his eternal vow—to make sure he was Steve’s good omega forever.

Eddie could barely kiss back, uncoordinated and panting. “No more waiting,” he swore.

Steve made a little show out of sucking Eddie’s slick from all three of his fingers. He rumbled at the taste. Afterward, he used his hand to push Eddie onto his back. There was a good amount of come on Eddie’s stomach, fresh and glistening. “Goddamn, this is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Eddie’s last brain cell took a swan dive to its death. Steve was acting like he was a delectable treat. Steve liked Eddie’s taste. Eddie was good.

Eddie flopped back bonelessly against the mattress as Steve maneuvered him, hair that was now mostly dry splaying out on the pillow beneath it. He watched Steve with hearts in his eyes, his post-orgasm scent overpowering the room and almost consuming Steve’s. He felt like he was floating, but also—

“Holy fuck, Stevie, you’re gonna kill me,” Eddie said, completely breathless. Steve had leaned down and was eating his come. The look on his face was predatory and ravenous. He let out a rumbly growl like he was still starving. Eddie’s abs clenched, and his cock gave a valiant twitch, aftershocks wracking his body before settling again as Steve finished his meal. He grinned. “And what a sweet death it’ll be.”

No way he’d rather go.

Steve hadn’t tasted come before. Eddie’s was good; salty and sweet but not as syrupy as his slick. “Definitely not going to kill you, Bambi.” That nickname slipped out easily with Eddie’s long, skinny legs in the crooks of his arms.

Eddie laughed. Now that the edge was off, he felt relaxed and happy, though no less needy. He could make sure his Alpha was taken care of. He wanted to make Steve feel more than good. He wanted to make him feel great and amazing. Eddie spread his legs a little more and lifted his hips, presenting his dripping hole as much as the position would allow. He clenched his muscles purposefully so Steve could see it gape open and closed, smirking playfully at the reaction. “Shove that pretty cock in me. Go as hard as you want. I can really take it.”

Steve didn’t have to hold back any longer. He could let his Alpha out and let it take him over, take what it wanted. Eddie was still soft—his refractory period was a lot slower out of his heat cycle, but he had no doubt he’d get hard again before Steve popped his knot. Honestly, probably as soon as Steve slid home.

The vision in front of Steve felt like a dream. The view of Eddie’s wet and prepped hole was perfect. It felt tight around his fingers. He watched Eddie control himself, and Steve’s jaw dropped in awe. “Okay, so that… that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Eddie grinned, a proud purr erupting from his chest simultaneously. He loved Steve’s reaction so much; how his face went slack and almost amazed. Eddie had done that to him.

Steve had to laugh in disbelief. He’d never been so turned on. He’d never had Eddie, so it made sense. Eddie was telling him he could… could go as hard as he wanted.

Steve was so hard. He didn’t want to hurt Eddie. He guided Eddie’s legs to wrap around him so he could take his cock. He made a noise as he touched himself to Eddie’s hole for the first time, eyes trained on the target. He had to thread himself inside an incredibly tight hole. His eyes widened in surprise as he pushed, and Eddie pulled him in.

“Christ.” He breathed through it. Hot, almost searing, pulsing pleasure surrounded him. All Eddie’s tight resistance would allow was a painfully slow descent. He was so tight it felt like he hadn’t even been prepped.

Eddie crossed his ankles, heels resting along the small of Steve’s back as Steve pressed against his waiting entrance. He was more than ready to be fucked, to be taken, for his ass to be claimed (for all of him to be claimed). It was a pleasurable surprise when there was no shoving. Steve went slow instead. Slow, slow, deliciously slow, filling Eddie up one thick inch at a time. With each push, Eddie let out a soft ah, head tossed back.

Eddie was fully hard again by the time Steve’s knot teased at his rim, rocking against him, and if he didn’t have self-control, tears might’ve sprung to his eyes at just how whole he suddenly felt. Like a fucking missing piece of him had finally slid into place, and Steve was that piece. Jesus Christ. How were his thoughts turning this fucking corny when he wasn't even in heat?

Steve fell forward and caged him in with his arms. Fucking face-to-face was new. Eddie didn’t do missionary. Usually, he’d just be bent over the nearest surface, standing, or on all fours somewhere. He was pretty well acquainted with rug burns and bruised knees. This was intimate.

Steve nudged Eddie’s nose sweetly with his own, then tilted his head back and let out a guttural moan. “Feels like you got me in a goddamn vice, Eddie.”

A small, overwhelmed smile touched Eddie’s lips.  The moan was deep, satisfied, and raised all the hair on Eddie’s arms.

This must have been Steve’s first time. It made sense. Female omegas didn’t have a sweet spot in their ass like guys did. Of course, that didn’t stop greedy Alphas from using that hole anyway, but Eddie was quickly learning Steve was considerate in bed. He probably hadn’t fucked any of his girlfriend’s asses. He was too sweet. The thought was oddly comforting. (Eddie’s head was fucked up, man, okay. He knew it.)

Eddie watched Steve’s face, enrapt, and pet his hands down Steve’s shoulders and chest, wanting to touch. Steve was a beautiful Alpha. Pleasure looked so damn good on him, and he deserved so much. Eddie couldn’t believe his luck. What had he done to deserve him?

There was absolutely no give for Steve’s knot yet. He was used to some. Certainly, Eddie had taken a knot, maybe not as big as his, though. The realization inflated Steve’s ego.

Moving got easier as Eddie adapted and stretched more for Steve as he started moving his hips. “Good omega, you’re so tight for me. You’ve probably never had a cock this big and thick.” Slick started pooling as if on cue, and it made Steve smile. “You’re getting ready for my knot.”

Steve could feel it when he really started fucking Eddie. Eddie was so wet it felt like he had gone into heat for Steve. Steve picked up the pace, rumble growling as he slammed in harder with every thrust, rocking his knot. Steve was feeling frantic, his heart racing and knot throbbing.

“I’ve had guys tell me their dicks were as big as yours,” Eddie replied with a hitched moan. He cracked a grin, toes still curled from the second good omega of the night. Eddie had never smiled or laughed this much during sex before. It was fun. The most fun he’d ever had with anyone. “Always a disappointment. But you’re… fuck, fuck! ” A deep thrust had Eddie spasming around Steve and adding shakily, “Really living up to your nickname, big boy.”

That was the last thing Eddie could say for a while. The mood shifted. His hands were pressed to the pillow on either side of his head, and his fingers interlaced with Steve’s as they went harder and faster until Steve was drilling into him.

Again, it was incredibly intimate. The most vulnerable Eddie had ever felt, and it had nothing to do with the pounding his ass was taking. He was more than naked. His soul was bare. Steve was staring into his eyes like Eddie was the center of his universe—like nothing else mattered. He didn’t think it was just his omega hormones that were being dramatic and romantic. Was it?

Steve didn’t advertise that he had a big dick outside of sex. Sure, he’d mention it, like he just had in context. Eddie calling him big boy always made him blush. He hadn’t fully realized until now it was because of his dick. Steve’s face was already hot; he was sure it was crimson now.

Eddie felt so good he was questioning his sexuality altogether. Of course, he’d admired other men, but fucking one—fucking Eddie—he didn’t know it could feel this good.

Steve didn’t have any complaints about his past, but he didn’t want to fuck anyone else after this. It couldn’t be his rut making him want to claim Eddie. Steve knew he loved and cared about Eddie. He thought Eddie was gorgeous and talented. He was fun and funny, and Steve always felt nauseous when Eddie spent the night out when they were on the road.

The following day, he’d always show up disheveled, alabaster skin bruised and looking worse for wear—almost like he had escaped something dangerous. Steve never liked it, and his Alpha would get snappy. He’d end up blaming his bitchiness on his need for his morning coffee.

Claiming the omega could put a stop to Eddie’s reckless behavior. Steve had had about enough of it after the stage dive tonight.

Eddie’s back bowed, and he squeezed Steve’s hands like they were the only things tethering him to the bed. Whimpering moans punched out of him. It felt so fucking good, his cock was slapping against his stomach, and tears did spring to Eddie’s eyes then just from the sheer intensity of it all.

“Knot me, please?” he begged, feeling that molten hot buzz building up inside him too fast to control. He was about to come again. “Sweetheart. Alpha. Steve. I—I’m ready.”

And he was ready, so ready that I fucking love you had almost slipped free. It was true. It was way too soon to say that. He didn’t want to scare Steve away. But he couldn’t stop his next instinct. Chin lifting, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. His neck baring itself, begging to be bitten.

Eddie was begging for his knot. Steve could feel with his thrusts that Eddie was almost there. So was Steve. He’d been in pain, his knot and heart aching in sync.

Eddie bared his neck, and Steve dropped their gaze for the first time since they’d started fucking. He licked his lips. He knew he had to and that he was going to do it. Enough was enough, and Eddie was finally going to be his.

“It’s yours. I’m yours. You’re all fucking mine.” Steve squeezed Eddie’s hands because he was going to do it. Eddie was ready for it—ready for his bite and knot.

Eddie shuddered hard, moaning. He couldn’t believe his ears. His lucky, lucky ears. Steve was giving himself to Eddie, verbally claiming Eddie.

Steve leaned down and kissed the prettiest place for his mark to be forever. It was his favorite spot on Eddie’s neck; his hair could hide it, but part of it would always be on display.

Steve bared down, popped his knot and let out the most pleased, possessive, growly moan he didn’t know he had in him as he locked in and came harder than ever before.

Steve’s knot grew in Eddie. It filled him up, so full he could barely contain it, but he did, closing around it greedily. The noise Steve released as he came made Eddie feel like a prize Steve had won. He sounded victorious. He hadn’t even had to hunt. Eddie had submitted completely to him without being chased. He’d always been by Steve’s side waiting, after all.

Steve’s face buried in his neck, accepting Eddie’s offering. The skin broke under his canines, and Eddie cried out as Steve’s teeth sank deeply into him. It was painful, burning, white-hot stinging—but he loved it. He loved it so fucking much. He loved Steve so fucking much.

Steve tasted Eddie’s blood, signaling a successful claim. A rush of it hit his tongue, and he moaned. He sucked the wound gently and lapped his tongue over it for good measure, making it clean. He pulled back and admired it. It looked so fucking good on him. Steve had an omega now.

It felt like his heart was fluttering out of his chest. It was beating so fast from the amazing sex. Eddie did pop his cherry, literally. He was panting and sweating, his body lightly shuddering from the aftershocks of his orgasm and being tied to Eddie.

Eddie was going to remember this until the day he died. He was going to replay this memory whenever he could, was going to play Steve’s Alpha voice in his mind forever and ever and ever and ever and—

“Yours! Steve, I love you! ” he gasped. He came hard. Even harder than the first time.

Then he promptly passed out.

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Steve hadn’t gotten to touch Eddie’s cock, but clearly, he had come again. Steve was happy he hadn’t broken his promise. He was feeling a little bashful when Eddie told him he was his and that he loved him.

“I love you, too…” he managed to say, but Eddie hadn’t heard him.

Eddie was unconscious. Steve could’ve sworn his heart stopped. “Eddie!” he yelled, and immediately grabbed Eddie’s wrist to check his pulse because had his dick killed him?

Eddie wasn’t sure how much time had passed when his eyes opened to Steve’s panicked face above him. "Whoa. Shit, did I just…”

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Steve said, still wide-eyed, though part of him felt like dying laughing for thinking his dick was capable of committing murder.

Eddie cupped Steve's cheeks with both hands when he was lucid enough to. He laughed in disbelief, stroking the apples of them with his thumbs. “Sorry. I’m sorry, sweetheart. Didn’t mean to scare you. I’m okay. …Guess I’m not immune to that Steve Harrington fainting charm after all.”

Eddie tilted his chin up to kiss the Alpha (he couldn’t believe he was allowed to do that now) gently and languidly, tasting the sweet iron tang of his blood on Steve’s tongue.

Steve accepted the kiss because, yes, it would make everything better after the fright he had just experienced. It was kind of funny—or would be later when they told people the story of how they had become mates.

Eddie used the last dregs of his energy to roll them over so he was on top, straddling Steve’s knot—which still felt enormous and wonderful, and Eddie was already so addicted to it he was going to be knot-stupid for days. It would be a while before it went down and they unlocked, and he wanted Steve to be comfortable. He’d been holding himself on top of Eddie for a long time.

Steve gasped a little as the switch tugged his knot deliciously. He was happy to rest on his back and get to cup Eddie’s sweet ass. He petted it gently and smiled up at him. They were a hot mess, sticky and wet.

Eddie reached up to touch the marks on his neck with his fingertips. The marks that said Property of Steve. They were sore and throbbing in the best way. “Fuck,” he muttered.

He opened his eyes, unaware he had closed them. He immediately zeroed in on Steve’s neck. Unmarred, pretty skin, waiting for a bite in return. Eddie’s gaze flicked up, and he found himself trapped under Steve’s. His face suddenly flamed as he remembered what he’d said before the world had gone black. I love you.

He felt shame, especially because he was riding such a high right now—his whole body was vibrating with his purr, giving away his feelings that had already been so thoroughly outed.

He wanted to apologize for his behavior, for offering his neck like that when Steve was in rut and not of full sound mind. He’d just wanted it so badly. It had been selfish.

The apology stuck in his throat. Eddie just couldn’t bring himself to say sorry. It wouldn't be genuine. He didn't feel sorry.

“I hope it’s okay… that I did that,” Steve said. “You don’t have to do it back right now. You’ll let me take you out when we get home, right?”

Steve was going to court the hell out of Eddie.

Eddie was fucking floored that one, Steve thought he might not be okay with having been bitten, and two, Steve thought he was worthy enough, respectable enough of an omega that he needed to be formally courted. Eddie never thought he’d be one of those omegas who would get to experience that. As a celebrity, sure, but as himself, as regular Eddie? No way.

He didn’t need any grand gestures—Steve staking his claim was more than enough—but Eddie would admit that it did make his dumb little heart flutter to think about it —just a tad.

“Of course I’ll go out with you, pretty, but you don’t have to go through the trouble of romancing me.” Eddie flashed Steve a smitten smile that showed off his set of canines, much shorter than the Alpha’s but no less sharp. “I’m kind of a sure thing.”

More than kind of. Why play coy now? His heart was in Steve’s hands.

He’d have to bite Steve for their bond to take. Otherwise, his marks would heal and start to fade in a few months. A one-sided claim. The last thing Eddie wanted was for Steve to think Eddie was rejecting him. There was no way, in any world, in any fucking universe where that would happen. It was actually hilarious how unlikely it was.

“I just want to wait a little while. When your rut is over, and you’ve had more time to think about it,” Eddie added in a softer tone.

While part of Eddie—an extremely large fucking portion—wanted to latch onto Steve’s neck like it was a chew toy and never let go, the sober part of him wanted Steve to have some time, with a clear head, to make sure he really did want this.

Steve was slowly coming out of the fog of his rut, but he already knew that being sober from his hormones wasn’t going to change how he felt about Eddie. Eddie could make it official right fucking now, and Steve would probably sing Hallelujah. He was frustrated Eddie had told him he didn’t have to go through any trouble. “I do, and I will go through as much trouble as I think you deserve. Which is a lot.”

Steve wanted to take him on dates, buy him things, and, most importantly, love, protect and respect him. It wasn’t lost on Steve when Eddie told him before they’d started that he didn’t want this to be casual.

“You don’t have to spend your heats alone either. You have an Alpha now, and I’m going to take care of you.” Steve would’ve been dramatic about pulling out the stops if they had put off the fucking part during his rut, but he did think courting was important. Like most things, he’d overcommitted and claimed Eddie as soon as his knot had popped. It was what they’d both wanted deep down. Steve wanted to give Eddie experiences he’d never had, and there would be no more throwing himself into crowds or running off with lousy Alphas.

“Stevie…” Eddie murmured. He chewed on his bottom lip, filled with emotions. Emotions even bigger than the knot inside him. He didn’t believe he was deserving of it, of any of it, but Steve’s solid conviction was making him doubt that a teensy bit.

Nobody had ever wanted to take care of Eddie before. Fuck him, yeah, of course. But care for? That would be a significant change from his heat routine. “I’m going to take care of you, too,” Eddie promised.

He would. Even better than how he was taking care of Steve now. He had already been fiercely protective of the Alpha as his best friend, but with their friend barrier broken down (or levelled up), Eddie’s natural instinct would be to protect Steve and please him even more. Whenever Steve wanted or needed him.

Also, Eddie guessed he would be retiring the Turbo Knotter 3000—hopefully forever. Eddie should probably thank it for its years of faithful service. About a month ago, he had been looking at the new Turbo Knotter 4000 in a sex shop and had been planning on buying it soon. He was glad he hadn’t.

“It’s a good thing you never brought any of the Alphas you’ve been with around. I probably would’ve kicked their asses for not treating you like they should.” Steve knew they hadn’t, and it made him bitchy, witnessing his best friend getting mistreated. “Their loss,” he huffed.

Eddie couldn't repress his chuckle. Steve wanting to defend him was cute as hell but unnecessary. Smartly, Eddie didn't say what he was thinking—that they'd treated him fine, that it was normal for a guy like him to be slapped around during sex, never anything out of the ordinary.

In the past, he'd noticed a pattern of Steve’s bad moods swinging on the mornings after Eddie had been with someone. He’d be tense during soundcheck or snippy with everybody while they had breakfast. Eddie still didn't understand why it was a big deal, but he regretted upsetting the Alpha each time.

(He had a feeling Steve wouldn’t be very pleased if he ever found out tonight wasn’t the only time he’d passed out during sex. The other time, it had been after some erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. It had been unplanned, mostly unasked for, and after that night, Eddie had never tried it again. Or at least, he’d requested it not be done to him.)

Eddie had to kiss Steve again. More than just a need. It was vital. Eddie was amused and flattered to note Steve’s hands were still on his ass as he carefully leaned down.

“You’re just unreal, you know that?” Eddie murmured. His hair fell off his shoulders, curtaining each side of Steve’s face. He copied Steve’s move from earlier, giving him a gentle nuzzling, nose to nose, before kissing him thoroughly.

Steve’s hands navigated up from Eddie’s ass to his back as he kissed back with a deep, satisfied rumble. He rubbed it gently. Eddie smelled like him now. There would be no mistaking that he wasn’t Steve’s. It was incredible. It almost didn’t feel real. Could this be the best dream he’d ever had? If so, he didn’t want to wake up.

“Goddamn angel.” Eddie smiled at him. Steve was still wearing his stage makeup, looking particularly angelic, if not innocent, as he blinked up at Eddie in gold. “Do you wanna come home with me tomorrow? To Hawkins?”

Besides the fact that Eddie would probably (definitely) be climbing the walls and biting his nails down to the bone if they were states apart in the next few days, he knew Wayne would love to see Steve. Especially if they were going to be mated in the near future. Wayne already considered Steve to be like his son, so Eddie was sure it’d go over well and his uncle would be happy for them.

Maybe it would be better if Eddie gave Steve the space alone to think, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to curl up in the jet with his Alpha, then take him to their old puphood haunts and kiss him silly all over their small-minded little town. He had also long since bought Wayne a house to replace his trailer so they wouldn’t even have to sleep in Eddie’s old twin bed.

Steve laughed a little and blushed. What he had done to Eddie wasn’t angelic, but hearing Eddie say something so sweet about him made him smile. “Yes. I don’t want to go anywhere without you,” Steve said honestly. He didn’t want Eddie going anywhere without him either. “You’re my omega.”

Fuck, that was music to Eddie’s ears. Steve’s omega. “I am,” Eddie confirmed.

Steve gently tucked Eddie’s hair behind his ears so he could see his face. “You’re so pretty, Eddie.”

The compliments weren’t going to stop now that they’d fucked. Now, he could just say what he was thinking.

Eddie’s purr ratcheted up even more, though he complained with a quiet, “ Steeeve,” because he didn’t know what to do with himself. How to act. He’d never purred so much in his life. He was going to get a sore throat.

“It’ll be fun to go home. I want to take you on a date to the place we met.” Going back to The Hideout would be romantic, but it was probably still a dive.

Going on a date would be fun. They’d made a lot of memories at The Hideout. Eddie would never forget the first time he saw Steve’s face in the crowd, how preppy and out of place he’d looked surrounded by drunks in ripped jeans and leather, watching the band play—watching Eddie. But he’d fallen into place with them so quickly. The perfect fit.

Eddie smirked. “I fully expect you to get up on the stage and serenade me,” he joked. “Better get busy writing me a love song.”

Steve’s heart fluttered. “I think serenading you is all I’ve ever been doing.” He laughed at the realization. He loved to sing, but seeing Eddie’s reaction to him doing it almost brought the same amount of pleasure. “It’s funny that you think I’ll have to write one and don’t already have one up my sleeve.”

Steve had written about Eddie before, but now he had a hell of a lot more material.

Somehow, Steve had managed to turn his joke into the most romantic thing Eddie had ever heard. He didn't even have a response. Damn Steve and his smoothness.

“Its been so long since I’ve been home,” Steve added. “I think the pups will be happy to see us, though I guess none of them are really pups anymore.” Steve laughed and rubbed his hands over his face. He was always going to feel like the pupsitter.

Eddie’s smirk softened into a smile. Steve’s pups. Not his biological ones, but basically adopted. Eddie had herded them into the fold, but Steve was the one who’d taken care of them like the protective Alpha mother he was.

“I wanna fuck you at skull rock, too.”

“Oh, the famous skull rock.” Eddie turned his head and kissed Steve’s palm, then nipped it playfully. He batted his eyelashes. “Take me to prom, too? I’ll wear your corsage.”

He was sure his prom experience, had he had one, would’ve been much more fun with Steve on his arm.

“Yes, that skull rock. The one that I made famous.” Steve leaned up to nuzzle Eddie and nibbled on him for the palm bites he received. God, he was so insatiable now that he had gotten a taste. “Of course I’ll take you to prom! Good thing I got that pesky virginity thing out of the way. We’ll probably both be crowned prom kings.”

It was a fun fantasy to think about. He’d taken Nancy to prom, and he was crowned Prom King, but Tammy Thompson had been Prom Queen—which reminded him that Robin was going to fucking die when she found out that he’d claimed Eddie.

“I’m okay with being a queen,” Eddie said. He sat up, making them both groan, and motioned to his ass. “Clearly.”

Steve’s knot was fully deflated now, and Eddie’s legs were starting to go tingly from being folded so long. Eddie slowly lifted himself off. He didn’t want to be empty, but he had no doubt it wouldn't be for long.

Steve groaned softly when Eddie dismounted. He felt at home inside of him, but his knot had deflated, so they weren’t tied anymore. They had just been chatting away in the afterglow anyway.

He watched Eddie gracefully saunter over to the bathroom door even though Steve’s come was trickling down his legs. It was a sight for his sore eyes. He couldn’t wait to fill him up again and again.

Eddie glanced over his shoulder, turning on his best British accent. “I’m filthy, your highness. Does the king care to join me for a royal bathing?”

Steve grinned at the invitation and leapt up to join him in the bathroom. He gathered Eddie’s hair to the side so they could see Steve’s mark on him in the mirror. Steve rumbled. He was so proud of it and Eddie.

He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s middle protectively as Eddie checked it out. Steve squeezed him tightly and kissed all over his bite. “Mine.”