#will likely save up and apply for the next cycle or something

[femmesandhoney]

tbh i would be shocked if i didn't get into a spanish auxiliary program bc i fit the reqs to a tee

[mutalune]

really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 20

part 1, prev part

Wayne’s not so sure how he can do this anymore. The bills are piling on themselves and it’s getting to the point where it’s challenging Everest. It was stupid to check the cost of his stay at the motel. It was stupid of him to be driving his car this much when he can just walk to the hospital each day. It’s only a little way down the road. It could have kept him from filling up his gas tank for another week.

It was stupid for him to do a lot of things, but here he is. Sitting in front of his notebook and splitting his paychecks up into pieces. Taking more out than he should to pay off the motel a little so the bill goes down. Knowing that he can always have a payment plan with the hospital. Take a loan out or something.

All because a house he’d always dreamed of moving into opened up. All because he, stupidly, wondered if he could make just enough to afford the down payment. The mortgage. And he probably could of, if he had somewhere to couch hop instead of paying for this room. If he asked for just a little bit of help. He could have stretched it just thin enough.

There were grants he could have applied to. People willing to donate money to those in need after the earthquake. Anything to give himself a raft to float on. But Wayne’s always been stubborn enough to try and build one on his own. Know he’s drowning because of it.

He does the thing he always did when needing to forget about the world. Burn through a few cigarettes and wish they were cans of beer. Maybe something a little stronger. Question the viability of his vices and his reliance on them to forget. All while trying to remember the point of all of this to begin with.

When the last one in the pack hits the stub, he crushes it into the ash tray. Trying to hold back the damn from breaking. To keep his tears where they need to stay. Inside with his fears. Even if he’s alone, in a room he’s struggling to afford. Even if he could really, truly break in the comfort of solitude.

And if he did, no one needed to know.

All he wanted was a home for Eddie to walk into after the hospital. A room that looked like his back in the trailer with band posters and books pooling of the shelves. Random little figurines and Knick knacks that were so priceless with meaning, but worthless other wise. The acoustic that Wayne saved up to buy, and the electric that Eddie took up dealing just to be able to think about affording.

All he wanted was to be a good father to his kid. To provide the most basic necessity. A safe home with food on the table. A space where Eddie could escape his problems and just be himself. Wayne couldn’t even provide that right now.

His boy was struggling to find himself again, while Wayne’s struggling to stand on two solid feet. He needed the home just as much as he wanted to provide it.

The next day, Wayne pulls himself to the hospital even though he just wants to sleep. Wants to listen to the pull in his back to just give himself the rest he needs. Knowing that he’s going to haul himself off to work and try to get in some overtime.

But here he is, sitting in the hospital room watching Eddie sleep. Just like he has been. The same damned cycle that doesn’t seem to end. Only improving slightly to provide a false sense of security.

It’s starting to get really predictable.

The seat next to him fills, Steve sitting next to him. “Hey. How’re you doing?”

Wayne doesn’t have the energy to lie or tell the truth. So he just shrugs. Steve huffs in agreement.

“Yeah, that tracks.”

They in silence until Wayne asks a question burning on his tongue. “How does it feel to look at a bill and know you can just pay it? Without having to take away from something else?”

“It doesn’t feel like anything,” Steve responds after pausing to think.

“That must be nice.”

“It was.”

Was. Wayne takes surprise to that. “I wouldn’t expect you to have to worry about stuff like that.”

A pained smile finds its way to Steve’s face. “There’s a lot of things you wouldn’t expect about me.”

Wayne doesn’t say anything, trying to give Steve the space should he decide to share more. A few weeks ago, Wayne would have probably lashed out at him. Thought that he was just looking for pity from someone who had nothing left to give. But he’s been more willing to listen. To see beyond his assumptions.

To let someone, he wouldn’t initially think of, let him know that this isn’t a problem only he deals with.

But instead, Steve goes back to silence. When he does speak again, it’s to pull the conversation back to Wayne. “Is something bothering you? Is that why you asked?”

Wayne grunts. Not believing he’s about to share money problems with the son of one of the richest men in Hawkins. Someone who grew up with every luxury there was. Not thinking about the other side for a second. But here he goes, sharing one of his deepest insecurities to open, listening ears.

“I’m just worrying about the bills starting to pile up, that’s all.”

“I’m sure that really stressful. At least Eddie’s hospital bills should be taken care of, that should give you some relief.”

The rest of the room becomes a stark silence. A rush of confusion coming to Wayne’s head. “What?”

“Has his bill not been taken care of?” Steve looks shocked, and angry.

“Not the last I checked.” Wayne starting to wonder if he’s even checked at all, or just went straight to assuming. With all the chaos, it was hard to keep track of the days. What he did in each of them.

Steve stands, rather abruptly. Swearing under his breath. “I’m going to go make a phone call. I’ll see you later.”

Wayne nods goodbye as Steve leaves the room. Glad he shared what he did, even if he was hesitant to. Now he might have a fighting chance to pay his debts. Now he might have a chance to get a house for his boy to go home to.

For himself to go home to. It’s enough hope to make him want to cry again.

Time passes at some undetermined speed. The minutes on the clock slowly ticking by. Creeping toward the time where Wayne has to leave to be able to get to work on time. Wondering if it’s worth it to head back and try to get some rest before he goes.

But he waits. Patiently waits for something to happen. For Eddie to open his eyes and remember him. Say something in his direction other than swears. Say something that he actually means.

It’s later in the afternoon when Eddie starts to stir. His eyes blink open and stare blankly at the ceiling. Realizing all at once that he’s stuck in this fate. Look so defeated while he tries to do something as simple as raise his head.

It’s like he’s back to being newly born and learning how to do things on his own. Anger and sadness being the most reliable emotions. Rampant frustration knowing that he’s capable of more, but just can’t.

Wayne steps in when Eddie grips the handrails and tries to pull himself into a sitting position. Places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder to stop him while he readjusts the bed. Making sure Eddie’s pillows are still comfortable.

Eddie leans deeply into the bed with a silent thank you in his eyes. Hands falling in his lap, gently twitching and starting to fidget. If Eddie was wearing his rings, he’d be spinning them around his fingers.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have a book or anything to read to you,” Wayne says to fill the silence. Not quite knowing what to say. “It’s just me today.”

Eddie stares at Wayne like he’s searching for something. Mixed with a knowing sadness behind it all. He knows what he did, Dustin said as much the other day. He’s starting to remember more and more. New and old pain coming back to him all at once.

It must be exhausting.

“That’s ok,” Eddie breathes. Barely a whisper. It’s the first thing he’s said to Wayne that he actually means.

“You just missed Steve,” Wayne says cautiously. “Still don’t fully understand how the two of you ended up hanging out over the break. Or became what I’m assuming is some level of friends. If what he says is true. But I guess people change right, otherwise he wouldn’t be givin’ you the time of day let alone visiting you this often. Turned out to be a nice kid.”

Wayne’s just talking to get some kind of reaction. Filling the space with nonsense just to be good company. So Eddie doesn’t feel so alone anymore.

“I’m doing ok,” he continues. Making sure that Eddie knows not to worry about him. “You know me, just working at the plant. Tryin’ to get some overtime. Like normal. I’ve been stayin’ at this motel down the road so I can be here if anything happens. Don’t have to drive across town.”

Eddie takes a deep breath. Mouth opening as words start to form. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, you did nothing wrong.”

Tears gloss over Eddie’s eyes. The pain releasing itself in the only way it knows how. “I ran. I’m sorry.”

Wayne sits on the edge of his seat, getting as close to the bed as possible. “Listen to me, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You were scared, you ran, we all do. I don’t care what happened in that week. I don’t care what happened yesterday, or the day before. What matters now is that you’re here, and you’re getting better. That’s all that matters to me.”

“But,” Eddie chokes. Breathing in deep. “I yelled at you. I’m sorry.”

“You were scared. You’re in pain. I know you didn’t mean it. It’s ok. I didn’t go through all of your teenage years without getting screamed at, I know how to take it.”

“I want to go home,” Eddie says, voice breaking.

Wayne wants so much to be able to give him that. Wants to lie and tell him it’s waiting for him. But Eddie’s going through enough already, he doesn’t need the lies. The truth might not be the nicest to hear, but it’s better than the feeling of a revealed lie. Wayne didn’t need to add anything to Eddie’s pain.

“Yeah, I do too.”

They sit in silence until Wayne has to go to work. Stands from the chair and wishes his back would just act like twenty years ago again. Says his goodbye to Eddie and makes his way out the door.

“Love you, Wayne,” Eddie says to him before stepping outside of the room.

Wayne turns back to look at Eddie practically falling asleep again. “Love you, too, Eddie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

note: a little earlier this week cause I'm going on vacation. chapter now posted on my ao3 as well.

next part

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@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

[etherealsworldvision]

Let’s Soothe Your Mind

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about Save The Redwoods. They’re a non-profit organization who is committed to protect and restore redwood forests. If you’re interested do check out their website and if you’d like to further your support here is their donation link.

Divider Credits: @ianrkives & @plum98

New Song Discovery for the Reading: Reservations – Dugong Jr, Julia Lostrom, Keelan Mak

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings! Disclaimer: this is for entertainment only!

Added Description: all my readings are timeless and meant to reach those who resonate to the messages.

[ General Messages: Rain; Autumn; Libra and Leo Seasons, “My love do you ever dream of candy coated raindrops”- Candy Rain by Soul for Real, Longboards (Skateboarding and Surfing); Raya the Last Dragon; Dewdrop; Spicy (foods); Avatar the Last Airbender; Fire Flakes; Honeydew; Drinks; Tantrums; Saturn Hour; Saturn Placements and Aspects; (Smithsonian) Museums; 1010; Kendrick Lamar; Trouble - Taylor Swift; Caught Up; Cheat; Exclusion; (Reaction) Memes; Distrust; Camping; Tents; Connections; Frustration; Online ]

Pile 1

[ Cards: Justice; Moon Reversed; Ace of Wands; Seven of Cups Reversed; Two of Wands ]

Confirmation Messages: Gojo & Geto; Anxiety (Playlist); “Get off of me/Ew get away,” (directed towards emotions feeling stuck to your body or feels like “bugs” crawling on skin); Anxiousness; Nervousness; Shadow and Bones (?); Shadow Hunters; Slowing Down; Chaotic Energy; Out of Control; Bugs; (Breaking) Habits; Messy Thoughts; Strategic; “Playing it Cool”; Patrick Star?; Hares; Hates Feeling Emotions; Pink Flowers (Real or Artificial); Systems Down; Mewing (?)

Something new might have happened or you feel like this is the universe (or whoever you believe in) giving you something. This energy feels like Carl and Cindy’s interaction (from Jimmy Neutron). In this case you’re Carl and Cindy is the universe lol. Maybe you were in a rut or had a cycle of “unfortunate events” in regard to circumstances or people.

If you’re asking for clarification: You have free will — it’s up to you whether you want to continue what you’re doing or not. I’m not sensing anything “bad” or “malicious” intent in regards to what/who you’re inquiring about. There’s this sense of catastrophizing new things. There’s also this feeling of “too good to be true”. I don’t know if you said/thought/felt this: “I need a fucking break” is strongly coming in.

So now that you have this break — it’s almost like you don’t know what to do or how to proceed. It’s as if you’re holding a globe but you don’t get to actually go anywhere. Maybe at one point you did get experience with this, only to be let down? Either way having no control is what’s scaring you and causing this anxiousness (especially if this deals with a person).

What’s coming in for those who are iffy about proceeding: “let them, just let them because you are your own before and after meeting this person”. This can also deal with a situation too — as in this doesn’t define you. There is no need to punish/blame yourself for being afraid/ not taking this offer. It just means you weren’t ready and that’s okay. Go at your own pace.

For those of you who want to proceed with this situation/person then you’ll have to let down your walls bit by bit. Again it’s okay to go at your own pace or ask to slow down. The same applies: “let them”. The door is always open so let them or “let you”. You can always set it down and move to the next one. It’s okay.

Bonus Question to Ask Yourself: “What did I keep doing that keeps hurting? Why do I keep repeating this behavior?” - by WNRS

So that’s all that I’m getting for pile 1. If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate it. If this resonates let me know. I am supporting you through and through 🧡!

Pile 2

[ Cards: Three of Swords Reversed; 3 of Pentacles Reversed; 6 of Swords; 5 of Pentacles Reversed; 9 Of Swords; 3 of Wands ]

Confirmation Messages: Courage; Charli XCX (Brat album); The Sun; Music; Concerts; Celebrity; Billie Eilish; Air and Earth Placements; Careless; Responsibility; Overthinker; New Things; Success; Moving On; 55; 66; 333; 9; Truth; Waiting; Patience; Releasing Judgement; Let it flow; Getting or Wanting Numbers? Holding Back; Calculated Risks; Chappell Roan; Doechii; Temptation - Raveena; Gemini; Aries

So I’m feeling like you’re releasing this heartache (for some it could be from your past?) I don’t know why, I pulled a clarification and it’s the 10 of Cups and I heard “No that’s so scary, Boo Feelings and Happiness!” So maybe you’re afraid of things working out because you were always let down in the past.

I feel like this can be about a connection (?) — there’s a lot of air coming in which means social lives. This may have come when things just started to calm down or in the midst of healing? To be honest this pile’s energy tends to overthink a lot. Like I feel like there’s this thing where you’re scared of saying the wrong thing which makes you take a step back only to make the overthinking worse. Maybe you’re asking friends what to do because I split the deck and saw 3 of Cups.

For some reason I feel like you need more reassurance so I’ll just pull out more cards for you. So I got the 2 of cups and the Eight of Wands (reversed), Judgement, and the Emperor. The first thing I’m picking up is that: you two may have opposite personalities or are awake at different times because we have two blue cards and two gold cards.

I’m also getting that the pace is painfully slow despite things going smoothly. It’s like you want to take control but you’re aware it won’t go smoothly if you rush it. For some of you there’s this thing of being afraid to take the “lead” or being pressured by society to take the lead.

(Side note: I don’t know who needs to hear this but there’s no hierarchy in a connection. There’s no, “who wears the pants” or whatever heteronormative stuff that gets constantly pushed into connections. What makes a connection work is when both people see each other as equals and accepting of one another)

You’re going to hate me for this but…it takes time and teamwork for a connection to work out. So yeah, go at your own comfortable pace (not a pace society tells you to go by) and enjoy the present time. For some reason I really have to “hammer it in” to take your time; let this connection take its time. Let things fall into place all on its own and if you feel called to do something (meaning the timing is right) then by all means take that initiative.

When you let things slowly progress you will also get a better understanding and feel of this person, from there you can see if you want to proceed or not.

Bonus Questions to Ask Yourself: “When have I given too much of myself in a relationship (could also be platonic)? What did that look like? What lesson did that leave me with?” - WNRS

That’s really all I’m getting, to be honest this reading is so chaotic and so long even though it barely reached 5 paragraphs. If you made it this far thank you so much, I appreciate it. I’m wishing you luck and please take your time!

Pile 3

[ Cards: Queen of Pentacles; 7 of Swords; Justice; Five of Cups Reversed; 8 of Pentacles; 7 of Cups; 7 of Pentacles ]

Confirmation Messages: Horror Games; Paranormal; Libra; Yellowjackets; Birds of a Feather; Unrequited; Nevada; Winter; Baby Powder; Scents; Insincerity; Friday; Outcasts; Water(falls); Late Spring; (Couples) Therapy; 777; (Down by the Water) PJ Harvey; Library; Goth (Music); Unknown; Earth Placement; Situationship; Clear Mind; Tiredness; “Success is the Best Revenge”; Lana Del Rey; Distractions; Cheating; 1:23

You may have left a connection or felt this person was dishonest. I think what made it worse is outside advice (which is ironic because y’know we’re here lol). Perhaps someone gave you the, “time heals all wounds” or “it’s okay! Just get pretty and focus on your job!” Only to feel dread, I’m not going to lie. I don’t know if you put a limit to your sadness because there’s this sense of, “I should be over this by now.” I feel like some of you did achieve this success/glow up you wanted yet still feel grief.

Honestly, it’s okay to grieve as long as you want to. There is no time limit to feel grief and sadness. Realistically speaking, grief stays with us. Grief can come in the form of memories popping up or when you feel nostalgic — that’s a part of grief and that’s okay. All we can do is look at them and see them for who they are and what they did. (Now, I’m not excusing their actions at all!) For example; it’s one of those things where someone waits for years to get closure only to get nothing and in the end they accept they’ll never get it.

I know this may sound bitter and for some bittersweet, but let the grief flow. You’re not crying over “spilt milk”, for all we know it’s not just spilt milk! Maybe it was milk you got with your hard earned money and now you don’t have milk because you just spent the last portions of your money so you can wipe your ass! So no, it’s not just milk! (lol sorry I just hate when the 5 of cups gets that connotation — there’s always something deeper to it.)

Look, distracting yourself out of emotions via deep diving in your work isn’t always the best thing to do. Sometimes you need silence (no music or sounds!) and sit with yourself. Really sit, lay or something with yourself and be vulnerable. Sit with that feeling for just a minute (not drown in it) because it’s asking to be acknowledged. Acknowledgment is a key to acceptance and with that comes the healing.

I feel like when you do acknowledge your grief, come to terms with the situation/person for who they are it’ll make the healing process bearable. I’m not saying it’ll be easier and you’ll be happy at a flip of a coin. I’m just saying because of this acceptance you may find you’re not doing your work/hobbies/goals for the sake of revenge but because it’s for you. You’re doing these things because you love it or for your own happiness/fulfillment.

Bonus Question to Ask Yourself: “What’s my favorite song at the moment? Why do I love it so much? (Play it for yourself)”. - by WNRS

Alrighty Pile 3 that’s all I got for you, thank you so much for reading until the very end! I appreciate it. I'm giving you some peace and love 🧡.

[illuminatedquill]

Ahsoka Variety Interview Thoughts

Hello, Sabezra nation!

So, it will probably start spilling out soon but, yes, some of the cast members from Ahsoka - Rosario Dawson, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Hayden Christensen and some guy named Dave Filoni - did an interview with Variety recently to talk about the show.

Now, I know what you're thinking: was there anything regarding Sabine and Ezra's relationship?

And the answer is a resounding NOPE.

But, it's still a very interesting article and there were a few tidbits that stood out to me that I feel is Sabezra related. So, I'll talk about that here.

First up: an interesting quote from Sabine Wren herself, Natasha.

I've written about this before in a previous post but it's very nice to have it be validated here by Natasha: that Sabine is, indeed, meant to come off as Anakin-coded in this first season of Ahsoka.

Others in this fandom have also noted this and this certainly lends credence to Sabine's feelings for Ezra being more than platonic. Sabine's decision to doom their galaxy in exchange for her friend's safety has enormous ramifications for the Star Wars universe going forward - and only one other character has had such an impact on the franchise: Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin made his choice out of desperation to save his wife, Padme. Star Wars loves its mythological cycles. Lucas passed on that love to Filoni so, in theory, Sabine should be following in the foot-steps of the disaster lineage of Jedi she is now a part of.

But, as I've noted before, one of Ahsoka's themes is trying to break cycles. Baylon wants to break the cycle of endless wars, Ahsoka wants to break the cycle of darkness plaguing her Jedi lineage, and Sabine wants to break the cycle of loss that's all too prevalent in her life.

What does that mean? It means that Filoni has the opportunity to do something that Anakin couldn't with Sabine: show a proper redemptive arc. Find a way to move forward with Ezra and everyone else she betrayed. Find a way to be forgiven and properly atone for her mistakes - preferably without dying or someone else dying on her behalf.

Of course, this is just interpretation on my behalf. The skeptic in me points out that Natasha is only referring to Sabine's recklessness and inner struggles as being what Ahsoka sees as similar to her former master. There's no mention of Ezra.

But we know that one of Anakin's "inner struggles" was his increasing attachment and feelings for Padme. So, is a stretch to say that these inner struggles that Sabine is wrestling with include her yet undisclosed feelings for her friend Ezra? No, not really.

With what Filoni set up from this first season, it's an inevitability that - at some point - Sabine is going to be questioned about why she made that decision. I personally see it as integral to her journey as a Jedi. Which means that Sabine needs to search her feelings and come to understand them.

It's significant that Natasha points out the echoes of Anakin in Sabine's personality and actions. It says quite a lot.

And to back up the whole "reverse Anidala" theory I have, here's what Filoni says in this next quote:

So this quote is Filoni referencing Ahsoka's struggles with Anakin's legacy as Vader during Rebels and then later in Ahsoka.

"How does that affect somebody when a person that they really admire and looked up to turned out not to be the person they thought they were? Are we all just capable of a fall from grace? And what is forgiveness? What shape does that look like?"

But, keeping this in mind, you could also apply this to Sabine's situation with Ezra, along with everyone else she cares about that was put directly in harm's way with her decision (Hera, Jacen, Zeb, Chopper).

Ahsoka, having come to terms with her own long struggle of forgiving and accepting Anakin for who he was, now has something else to offer Sabine other than showing her how to fight: how to forgive.

Sabine is, presumably (hopefully if Filoni isn't just going to sweep her actions under the rug), going to be struggling with the ramifications of her betrayal at some point in the future. And, not to mention, everyone else also finding out and will most likely be upset, to say the least.

Ahsoka, armed with her own knowledge of how to navigate that thorny path, can be a mediator in that regard. She'll stand with Sabine, as she promised - not condoning her actions, but providing understanding and her own special viewpoint on how to forgive and move on from such an incredibly selfish and destructive action (thanks to Anakin) - and help everyone else find a way to do so, as well.

I figure Ezra and Hera will probably be the focal point of conflict for Sabine. Hera, for obvious reasons, will be upset since Sabine helped kick-start another potential war with the Empire - something she does not want her child to experience growing up in like she and countless others did.

And there's also the matter of how it directly undermines what Kanan and Ezra sacrificed so much for.

As for Ezra . . . I don't know. It's complicated. No idea how Filoni is planning to tackle that. But it's going to hurt him.

It's going to hurt him so much.

But with Ahsoka's presence, it stands to reason that Sabine and Ezra can find a way to reconcile and build something new and stronger from the ruins of their prior relationship.

Other interesting items/observations from the interview:

Filoni already has an outline for Ahsoka season 2. (Nothing confirmed about a renewal, but he's got one ready.)

Hayden Christensen makes an interesting observation about Anakin's return being that he now has the power to wield both the Light Side and Dark Side of the Force, which also gives him the power to save Ahsoka . . . the same power he was trying to obtain when he pledged himself to the Dark Side during Revenge of the Sith.

There are no current plans on Baylon's recasting as of yet. Filoni is still figuring that out. (RIP, Ray Stevenson).

Natasha sees Ahsoka season 1 as setting up "enduring drama" between Ahsoka and Sabine. They still obviously have a lot to work out to mend their relationship - like what happened to Sabine's family and how that was somehow Ahsoka's fault, also Ahsoka stopping her training shortly afterwards.

There is only one direct mention of Thrawn and Ezra: Filoni's decision to send them to another galaxy was because keeping them in the home one was too easy ("too many people travelling, flying around; you can send a signal and get found"). He knew about other galaxies from a scene in Attack of the Clones.

A word of caution: we'll probably be getting more interviews like this within the coming weeks so there will be, presumably, lots of new info coming in.

Hopefully we'll be getting interviews from Eman and Ivanna, as well, since I'm interested to hear more about their characters (Ezra, for obvious reasons, but Shin we definitely need to know more about) and what they might be up to in a future season.

But . . . some of these interviews might contain, shall we say, indications of where certain relationships might go or where whomever is being interviewed think they might go.

So saying this now: unless it comes from the hat man himself, don't get too caught up in whatever is said. It's all fun and speculation.

Sorry for the long ramble. Hope this all makes sense.

See you all down the road.

[duhragonball]

Roundabout

I watched CJ the X's video about Rick and Morty, mainly because I kept seeing people screencap the parts about perfectionism near the beginning. Well, I thought I should see it for myself, and then I wound up getting pulled into the "Story Circle" concept used by series co-creator Dan Harmon.

This may be old news to a lot of people-- in fact, I'm sure it is, because Harmon admits that this is heavily based on the monomyth concept popularized by Joseph Campbell. I've never fully appreciated the "Hero's Journey" idea before, but I think Harmon has refined it by simplifying the names of the steps. "Atonement with the Father" just becomes "Take", and that's a lot easier for me to grasp. Campbell probably never meant to suggest that every story features a literal "atonement with the father", but his work involved identifying common elements in story structure, so I'm sure he had trouble coming up with fitting names for everything.

Harmon's circle might be a little too simplified, since there's a lot to unpack in the word "Take", but his model is focused on making a formula to write new stories, as opposed to comparative mythology. What I like a lot about the Story Circle is that Harmon insists that it's not a rule that must be learned and followed. Rather, it's an observation of something all humans do when they tell stories, whether they realize it or not. But sometimes it can be helpful to be made aware of the pattern, like checking a map even when you're familiar with the route.

It can be fun, although probably distracting, to apply the circle to existing works. The Star Wars movies used Campbell's monomyth as a blueprint, so that's probably too easy. But it can also be used on individual scenes too. Luke(1) falls down a trap door and now he has to find a way back out (2) before the rancor eats him (3). He manages to avoid being eaten using a bone and some nooks and crannies in the pit (4) but at last he finds a door out of the dungeon, except it's locked, leaving him cornered (5). But he manages to drop a heavy gate on the rancor as it approaches him, which kills it (6). The bad guys then open the door to bring him back to Jabba (7), who now prepares to feed him to an even worse monster outside (8).

And that probably sets up the next cycle in the movie, where Luke saves everyone from the next monster, and so on. I think at long last I understand why these kinds of story structures are presented as "circles" or cycles". You don't have to do multiple laps, but the structure allows you to do so, and acknowledges that multiple cycles can also form a larger circle, and so on.

With episodic television series, the final step, change, often means reverting to the status quo. There's a M*A*S*H episode where Radar tries to become a serious writer, and he keeps trying to inject his army reports with purple prose, until finally Hawkeye explains to him that he has to use his own words and stop trying to imitate what he thinks the "pros" use. So Radar does learn a lesson, but the lesson basically puts an end to the weird dialogue he was using the whole episode and puts him back to normal. The Korean War doesn't end, and Colonel Potter doesn't die, and Klinger still wears dresses, but the structure is still followed and sets up the next cycle.

I can see how this is very useful in a writers' room for a television show, especially one like Rick and Morty, where the characters seem to be capable of almost anything. It probably helps to take stray ideas like "Rick turns himself into a pickle!" and run that through a formula to make sure you can get a working script out of the gag.

Anyway, I'm currently trying to use it to flesh out some ideas for my fanfic, since I have a lot of story beats I want to accomplish, but I don't have much to connect them together. Using the Story Circle seems to be helping me figure out which pieces I'm missing, so maybe this will compensate for all those years where I could just use DBZ Episode 66 and Xenoverse 1 as loose outlines that I could follow. This fall, I gotta build my own story skeleton before I can fill it in, and the clock is ticking...

[angelsworks]

Hi, I love your work. I have a kinda weird ask so if it makes you uncomfortable then that is a-okay just ignore me. I was wondering if you could do a headcannon on maybe what it would be like to get in an argument/anger toxic!Elijah? Maybe emotional whiplash to if your okay with it. This is a weird ask so ignore me if it makes you uncomfortable

-ph

Toxic!Elijah Mikaelson x reader - Headcannons

Summary: A few brief ideas of what Toxic!Elijah would be like.

Warnings: Toxic relationship, abusive themes, Toxic!Elijah, coercive behaviour.

• Toxic!Elijah who love bombs you during the first few months of your relationships.

• For those first few months it felt like magic. Like you’d met your price charming and were about to ride off on a white horse into the sunset.

•Elijah treated you like a princess. Like the most precious thing in the world.

•You felt so special. Having the attention of one of the most powerful vampires in the world. Having his protection, his love.

•The thought lingered briefly that it was too good to be true. But every gentle kiss Elijah placed on your skin made those thoughts float away.

• Toxic!Elijah who begins to ignore you for days at a time. He claims that he’s busy helping Klaus but one time when you show up at the Original family home you catch him in a lie.

• Toxic!Elijah that lacks any sort of accountability for his actions or wrongdoings. He feels like the righteous original and thinks he can do no wrong. So when you try to bring this up with him he blames his siblings, witches, any other force in the supernatural world that’s keeping him busy.

• Toxic!Elijah who gets tired of your questions, growing angry and violent. He throws anything he can get his hands on, shouts at you, swears then finally he stops.

• Toxic!Elijah who tells you you’re just too young for him. Making you feel as if you would never be enough first a 1000 year old original vampire. Making you doubt the very foundations of your ‘relationship’. Someone so young could never understand your problems.

• Toxic!Elijah who watches as you leave his house crying over your lost ‘love’. You go home to mourn your relationships. Crying into pints of ice cream over the next week.

• Toxic!Elijah who visits you after a week and a half. He whispers sweet words to you. Tells you how he loves you and despite how he knows it wrong to be with a mortal who doesn’t understand his world but he just can’t ignore his heart.

• The words win you over and you’re soon back in his arms. Enjoying the attention you got from him in the first months of your relationship.

• What you don’t know is that the cycle will continue. You might argue about his control over you, how he makes you feel small when he describes you as just a mortal. Or maybe you argue over how he lets various women throw themselves at him.

• All these arguments lead to the same result - Toxic!Elijah getting angry, threatening to break things off, letting you leave, taking you back and going back to treating you like a princess.

• It’s possible that at some point in the future the constant cycle begins to repeat too much for you. It becomes overwhelming and degrading. You see yourself going through the same motions whenever Toxic!Elijah does something you don’t like and you argue.

• During one of these cycles you refuse to take Elijah back. He comes to your door trying to fix things with you. Only you refuse to see him. Claiming this was the last time you do this with him. You throw every piece of jewellery he’s ever given you at him and slam the door.

• Toxic!Elijah who now has to think of a way to get you to come back to him.

•Toxic!Elijah who compels a random vampire to stalk and attack you one night. This vampire almost drains you dry, making you weak, causing you pain.

•Toxic!Elijah find you and plays the hero. He feeds you his blood and claims it’s the only way to save you. You’re so far out of it that you don’t feel the pressure he’s applying to your neck as he holds you. Your breath wheezes out of you for one final time.

• You wake in transition. Alone in a bed you know is Elijah’s. Your throat aches for something. Your head pounds and you begin to feel sick.

• Toxic!Elijah who uses this to take control once more. Now you depend on him to help you through this. You have no choice but to turn back to the man who set this all up in the first place.

[deepsix-writing]

Fix You. Chapter 4 of 5.

After the events of Marble Hornets, Tim is left to pick up the pieces of what is left of his old life. One piece in particular threatens to slip from his fingers, but he is resolved to not repeat history.

(PREVIOUS CHAPTER) | (NEXT CHAPTER) | (BEGINNING)

…As it turned out, that cash might as well have been Tim's, because he ended up using it immediately. No, it wasn't something he was proud of, and no, it wasn't something he had planned on. The day that it had happened, it was just unavoidable.

It was the afternoon after he'd first 'found' the money that Tim had used it. He'd showered and gotten ready to drive downtown as usual, but when he put his keys in his old beater car's ignition, he was met with a concerning KR-CHNK. The only thing that had ended up being able to convince it out of his driveway was a tow-truck.

Engine issues. They were never cheap, especially when Tim's car had fallen into the state of disrepair it had. As it turned out, all those months of not taking care of himself had also applied to his car. Between paying for the tow truck, getting the engine fixed, and calling a cab to the repair shop, the stolen money was the only thing he had left to cover it all. Hell, by the time he made it back home that evening, he didn't even have enough to order takeout. Brian and him spent the evening scraping the back of the freezer for something to eat. Tim assured the man that he'd get his paycheck from the antique store the very next day. He still couldn't find it in himself to break the news to Brian that he hadn't actually found a job at all.

The thing was, Brian was so happy. Throughout the months they'd been reunited, that miracle of a man had been building his strength tenfold every day. He'd weaned himself off most of the painkillers (much to the doctor's amazement) and hadn't given the wheelchair a second glance when they returned it. He still needed the crutches, but he always spun it with a smile, saying it wouldn't be long before he didn't need them anymore. And even when the doctor corrected him and told him he may very well need some kind of mobility aid for the indefinite future, it rolled off his back like it was nothing.

"I'd look pretty badass with a cane, don't you think?"

Tim agreed one thousand percent. He definitely would. For that same reason, Tim readily volunteered funds to get him the most well-crafted, badass cane that money could afford, should that time come. He just needed to save up enough to follow through on that promise.

But now, now, he could get those funds. A week had passed since Tim had gotten the car fixed, and most afternoons from then on were all the same: completely unknown to him. The plus was that every evening, he came back to consciousness in his bathroom with a full wallet. His knuckles cycled through nearly every color of the rainbow, and the bills remained green.

"Those armoires must be hell to move around, huh." Brian motioned to Tim's hands one day when they were settled down at the couch, eating dinner. Tim was confused at first, and threw him a matching look.

"…Antique stores have a lot of those, don't they?"

"Oh," Tim fumbles, "Yeah. Lots of heavy furniture… we just call them dressers here, though." It's a piss-poor save, but he throws a pointed smirk Brian's way anyways. Brian rolls his eyes before finishing his food.

"Okay, Mr.Alabama."

It feels like he's leading a double life, the way Tim goes about his daily routine. At least, it did… but Tim didn't feel as bad about it anymore as he felt he should. When he came back to consciousness in the evenings, he didn't feel his heart wrench in his chest anymore. His muscles wouldn't tense. It felt awful to even admit to himself, but he almost felt...

Relieved.

As long as he looks the other way, Tim can pretend everything is fine. He can smile and act like there's nothing to worry about. He can laugh and say yes, that armoire was hell to move around. I'll be more careful next time.

Tim didn't have to worry about getting a job anymore. He didn't have to worry about how soul-sucking that would be anymore and he didn't have to worry about shitty coworkers anymore. The day just slipped by, like sand falling from his fingers. And he let it.

He could spend all his waking hours doing the only thing he ever cared about doing, now: being with Brian. Now, he had the energy to help the man with dinner. They watched old shows, went out in the backyard more, and talked deep into the night. With the steady income, they even had enough extra to spend a few evenings in Tuscaloosa, too. They got to go out for drinks once, just like Brian had promised they would months ago.

It wasn't like Tim was running around in the mask, anyways. They'd done more than burn the thing, he and Brian had smashed it to pieces! Whatever Tim was doing during the day, his face was attached. And if it was really that bad, what he was doing, he would have been arrested by now. So he had that going for him.

Brian found himself something to do during the day, too: a job at the grocery store just a short walk away from their house. Tim had driven him there at first, but it was only a few weeks before Brian insisted he could get there himself. The doctor had swapped out his old crutches for newer ones that he could balance with his forearms instead of armpits, and Brian was over the moon about it.

"I'll still take that cane, though, if the doctor ever clears me for it." Nothing but optimism in his tone.

He's trying to leave you, Tim had heard from the hallway the moment the door shut, and he was left alone. On days Brian was out of the house, he didn't bother going to 'work'.

"He's not. He just wants to feel useful. That's what he said." Tim frowns the thought away and goes to the kitchen to do the dishes instead. But he doesn't get to rinse off a single plate before he blacks out again.

When he came back to consciousness, Tim wasn't in his bathroom like he usually was. Instead of the yellow wash of his buzzing bathroom light, his shoulders were draped with cold dappled moonlight. The sound of leaves rustling in the wind and cicada calls filled his ears. An owl hooted in the distance. A chill clung to his body. He knew exactly where he was, and it brought dread bolting through his body as fast as lightning.

His footsteps pounded the earth in rhythm with his heart beat as he searched the moonlit park for a sign of a path, a walking trail, anything that might lead him out. Out, he needed out. This was his line, and it had been crossed. The blackouts he could handle, but only if he resurfaced in his home, in a sense of control. Here, there was nothing, nothing but him, nothing but gravel underfoot, nothing but night air against the thump of his racing heart. He needed to get home, he needed to run faster. Follow the gravel, leave the park.

This is madness. This isn't real. I can't repeat the doctors. I can't repeat any of it.

Tim runs and runs until the woods around him finally (and mercifully) thin out. The forest has surrendered him, but in its place grows a gaze he feels pinned to the back of his head. It burns holes into him. His slowed gait threatens to hasten once more as he turns to the city street that leads to his home, but right as he was about to turn to confront the eyeless stare following him, he blacked out again.

...And when he was back in his bathroom, just as he had wanted, he woke up in blood. So much blood. Looking in the bathroom mirror, it was more than he had ever seen before. It filled his nose, soured his mouth, washed his skin and clothes in shades of crimson he'd never before been able to fathom.

Then suddenly, a hand hooked itself onto his arm. A shadow moved over his vision.

You're a murderer, you know. The figure breathed, and the shadow lowered over his face.

In the mirror, he could see it: the mask, painted in just as much red as he was, pressed to his face by a pair of hands that trailed up to a smiling face with square glasses and a smirk.

Through and through… you're like an animal. Alex laughs, and the sound is grating and toxic. Rough as sandpaper, it scratches Tim's ears.

You can't change what you are.

"Stop!" Tim seethes at the face in the mirror, and before he can hold himself back, he winds his fist and pummels it into the mirror.

Then Tim wakes up. He's still in the bathroom, but Alex is gone, as is the mask, as is the gallons of blood. Everything was fine, save for his heart beating a mile a minute and a rapping on the door that was nearly as fast.

"Tim, Tim! Are you okay?" Brian's voice was urgent and concerned.

"Uh… Yeah… Yeah." Tim didn't even say it with enough conviction to persuade himself. He grimaced. Brian jiggled the doorknob from outside.

"Unlock the door?"

Tim did, but otherwise he felt frozen in place. Brian looked at Tim, then to the mirror. Then, so did Tim.

"…Shit." The mirror was still broken. The glass was completely fragmented; it diced up his reflection into neat portions. But Brian regarded it carefully. He didn't seem as phased.

"What happened?" It's something he asks as he shoulders past Tim to reach under the cabinet. He pulls out the first-aid kit. It's only then that Tim realizes his hand is bleeding. Crimson drips down onto the white laminate countertop from thick rivulets on his knuckles.

"…Shit," He repeats, and fumbles for words all the way through Brian's help. "I didn't mean to. I mean… I mean I did, but I didn't think… I didn't think it was…"

Brian wraps the last of a bandage around Tim's knuckles. He doesn't have to finish the thought for them both to know.

Real. He hadn't thought it was real.

Tim grimaces as he shows his thanks by putting up the first-aid kit himself. When Brian leaves and returns with a broom for the glass, Tim takes care of that himself, too. He stops meeting Brian's gaze when it starts to linger for a little too long. The man is thinking of something to say. Tim can tell.

"…When's the last time you took your–" It was another thought that didn't need to be finished.

"-I don't need those. It's been better, lately. It's been good."

"That's just begging for something bad to happen though, isn't it?"

Tim felt the exact opposite: like acknowledging the problem would mean admitting that there was one to begin with. But the sentiment didn't make it to his lips. "This was a… a one-off. Won't happen again."

Brian frowns. "Until it does. This isn't good, Tim. This isn't good."

Tim frowns too, and it sours into an ugly, upset grimace. "...Please don't make me do it, Brian. I can't… the last time I was on them, I-"

"This isn't like last time," Brian interrupts. "But I'm not gonna make you do anything. If you don't wanna take them, I can't stop you. But I also know they could help you. I can't stay and watch you crash and burn, Tim. I care about you too much for that."

What could Tim possibly say to argue? Brian always had him beat. The very next week, Brian came with him to a doctor's appointment not a block away from the rehabilitation center Tim had picked Brian up from what felt like an eternity ago. It was the last thing he'd wanted to do... but for Brian, he'd suck it up.

Turns out, the entire process hadn't been too bad. They ran a few blood tests (not his favorite), but most of the other clinical jargon they'd been able to pull out of an old file of his. By the end of the appointment, he'd already gotten a prescription. They told him to come back in a week to review how it was working for him.

By the morning, he was in his bathroom with a pill in one hand and a cup of water in the other. Brian had reminded him to take it when he'd heard the man stir from the couch. The door was closed behind him now, but Brian's encouragement still rang in his ears.

He takes a breath. Tim knows this will be the first of countless pills he has to take, and the little round tablet feels heavier than it should in his palm. His hand lowers from the weight, and presses itself against the stained laminate countertop.

He shouldn't be alive.

Tim sucks in a breath… Maybe I should have gotten these earlier.

…Or maybe I shouldn't have at all.

Tim's open palm turns into a fist. He sets the water on the counter.

Tim was still in control. He would have admitted something was wrong if he'd woken up covered in blood, but the thing was, he hadn't. That had been a hallucination. Tim knew that, now, and now that he knew, he wasn't going to let it get the better of him again. He only went along with getting the meds to ease Brian's mind. Tim didn't want him to move out. Not yet.

Brian was in a position where he could do that now, too. It was almost awful how much Tim hated that fact. Between his transition to the forearm crutches to holding down a stable job, it was completely feasible. Not comfortable by any means, but feasible. And it hadn't even been a year since he'd come out of the hospital.

How dare he. Tim's fist tightened. How dare he be so happy, so quickly, like none of it even happened. How dare he move on when I'm still wading through the wreckage.

He took a breath, realizing how insane his thoughts would sound if he dared put them into words. Sure, it was difficult to not resent the man after having bounced back from the grave and practically ascending to heaven right after. It was tough having to sit through the man's stories from his new job about his new coworker friends. Even more difficult was hearing about the woman he worked with and the smiles that came with her. The extra details Brian gave when he talked about her were like hot knives in Tim's skin. But he grit his teeth and smiled back. He told the man he was happy for him.

And he was. He wanted to be, at least. Tim sighed. He wanted to be happy, too…

Which was why he flushed the pill. If he stopped blacking out, it meant no more money. It meant less of his conscious hours being spent with Brian. It meant his old job all over again, it meant everything all over again. He couldn't do it.

What he could do was stay in control. It would be one hell of a balancing act, but that was how it needed to be. Tim vowed if he ever did wake up in blood, that was where he'd draw the line.

So every morning, another pill would go down the drain. And a week after he'd 'started' on them, he went back to the doctor's office. Alone. He'd insisted to Brian that he could handle it by himself, that he wanted to. He told the doctors that the dosages were fine, and before leaving the office, he conveniently forgot to schedule another appointment. He made it another two weeks before Brian started asking questions.

"How was your appointment yesterday?" They were both sitting at the dining table and looking at a stack of papers when it happened. Brian's tone was casual, but something about it seemed pointed.

"Fine."

"...You swapped the dates from Fridays to Thursdays, then?" Brian followed up.

Shit. Tim fidgeted. "Yeah. Fits my work schedule better."

"I thought you were only free on Fridays."

Tim's stare freezes on the paper he holds. He pretends he's so focused on it that he didn't hear Brian. But Brian continues.

"I want you to be honest with me, Tim."

I want to be, too. Tim thinks, but Brian isn't done. "I know you're not taking the meds. I get it. You're scared, whatever. I'm not mad about that."

Tim looks at him over the paper and over his bruised knuckles. A spark of hope ignites him.

"…I just don't get where the money's coming from." Brian admits, and the spark snuffs itself out. Tim's gaze solidifies on the table's wood grain. But Brian doesn't speak up again. It's Tim's turn to bat.

"It's… still a job. Pays the bills. What's it matter?"

"It matters to me. Because every day you're coming home all… I don't know. Roughed up. And you've been lying to me. Why?"

Tim lets the paper drift down to the table. He gives an exasperated shrug; even though he's had this conversation in his head a thousand times, his mouth can't keep up the pace. "Because it doesn't matter, okay? I'm getting money, I'm coming back in one piece, who cares if I know what I do to get it?"

Brian is the one who freezes next. "...You don't know how you get it, either."

"I misspoke." Tim lies. Brian sees right through.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that you're blacking out again? You don't think I'd wanna know that?"

"I didn't say that. Didn't think that. I just. I just…"

"-Didn't think I'd find out?"

"No. I know you're not dumb. Just…" Tim's exasperation doesn't aid his words. "...didn't wanna acknowledge it." Brian's gaze is intense on him.

"Well, you've got to, Tim."

"Says who?"

"It'll only get worse if you don't. You know that. You could be fucking hurting people, Tim."

"I know…"

Brian pauses. It's a horrific, weighty pause with the gravity of all the planets in the solar system put together. His next words are icy.

"...What do you mean, 'you know'?"

"I…" Words don't come to Tim any easier. His gaze trips on the table, and Brian's is trained on him like the dual barrel of a shotgun.

"-I mean I know, okay? But it's not like there's blood or anything."

"Are you kidding me, Tim?" Brian doesn't raise his voice, but it's obvious he wants to. "Look, I-"

"No. You look! I'm getting money! I don't have to work some shitass job with people I don't care about for eight awful hours a day and I don't have to worry about anything other than being here. It's a fucking blessing, Brian."

Brian deadpanned at Tim for a long, hard moment. Tim had never seen him like this before. The man shook his head, wordlessly, and got himself up to his feet with his crutches. He turned to leave.

"Brian-" Tim got up to his feet, too.

"No. I can't talk to you right now. You're not thinking straight."

That shotgun had just pummeled a round straight into his heart. "No! We can talk about this. Come back!" He darts forwards, and grabs one of Brian's crutches.

"I said no, Tim. Let go." His head is turned away from Tim. But Tim doesn't let go.

"It's not just random people you're hurting, Tim. It's me, too. And it's you."

"I'm happier than I've ever been, Brian. You're alive."

"Then I'm not happy. And you shouldn't be, either."

Tim lets go. But his gaze stays pinned to the man's back as he ambles down the hall and to the bedroom. He doesn't meet Tim's eye when he turns to lock the door behind himself.

The next day is full of strain between them. Brian only leaves the bedroom when he has to leave for work, and when he comes back, he shuts himself back inside.

'I'm moving out' are the next words Tim hears from the man. Tim was by the sink at the time; his back was turned, and he was getting ready to wash the small mountain of dishes on the counter. A layer of water sat in the sink, reflecting Tim's face as it turned to stone. He heard the rustle of a bag against Brian's side as he shifted his weight on his crutches.

"Why."

"You know why."

"How."

"...My old landlord. Got a friend to give me a ride. I'll be fine."

Tim knows he will, and for some reason, that boils the blood in his veins. It was probably that same coworker he'd been talking about before that was giving him a ride, too. Tim's stare melts a hole into the faucet. It leaks blood.

"...We can still hang out. I'll call. You need to take those meds, Tim. You can't live like this. You're the only one that can fix yourself."

Tim doesn't reply. He tries to ignore the stare fixed to his back.

"I'm leaving now, Tim."

Tim grips the sides of the sink. His head lowers, and his laser stare burns into the water. The face that he sees reflected in it smirks at him with square glasses. Crimson leeches into the water. He seethes.

"This is for the best." Brian continues.

Tim still says nothing.

"Tim."

"…You shouldn't be alive."

There's a heavy pause, but no response. Footsteps fade away from behind Tim, then he hears the door shut, then he hears a car pull out of his driveway.

Brian is gone. His fading footsteps rattle and repeat in Tim's mind. He grips the sides of the sink tighter, and his knuckles go white. A sick, festering feeling opens up like a feverish wound inside him, and suddenly, when he does wake up with real blood on his hands later that night, it's the last thing he could ever care about.

[crisiscutie]

I always wonder why SQEX use the title 'Crisis' to almost every prequel of FF7, i.e Crisis Core, Before Crisis, Ever Crisis. Is 'crisis' really implied toward Sephiroth?

Also, I'm apprehensive on playing the next part of FF7R because I don't want to beat up poor Sephy again (TT_TT). No matter how many ppl say he is strong or evil, to me he's just a poor baby.

But I'll definitely play when SQEX decide to release a sequel where Sephiroth as the main character. I even got in a habit of apologizing to the monitor whenever I finally defeat Seohiroth. Am I weird? Does anyone else feels like this?

No anon, don't feel weird about being yourself~!

༻❁༺ Crisis Cutie's Favorite Word?

Personally, I think "Crisis" could be applied as a collective term to FF7's cast. It's definitely one of Sephiroth's special words alongside reunion and despair, though. We know little about Sephiroth's role in EC now, but I wonder if his story arc will be another variant of his identity crisis, like in Crisis Core and Before Crisis. It'd certainly be an emotional crisis regardless, though.

I feel you on Sephiroth but at the same time; I understand the need to put him down, and it brings such heavy feelings to my heart. 💔💔💔 I've noticed that almost no one seems to give Sephiroth any empathy, even Aerith, who's pretty much the Sora of the series.

Sephiroth's actions brought everyone deep sorrow and crisis. It's clear why they felt such despair and hatred towards him. Quick disclaimer, I'm not blaming anyone or anything here, just pointing something out. Also Aerith just knows there is no turning Sephiroth from the path of evil. In 7R, she's completely right when she told him that everything about him was wrong, in every sense.

༻❁༺ Cycle of Pain

I knew Vincent indirectly expressed empathy (from what I remembered). He understood how the circumstances of Sephiroth's birth lead him to who he is. That's why he couldn't bring himself to confront Lucrecia with the harsh reality of what her son had become...

And we as the audience have the benefit of seeing both sides of the story. I understand why Sephiroth's trauma of abandonment, emotional abuse, and killing/fighting was became much to bear, leading to his breakdown in Nibelheim.

And I can imagine the despair and fury that Tifa and Cloud experienced when Sephiroth committed his abhorrent acts at Nibelheim. Tifa refused to be part of the cycle of pain that Sephiroth kept alive, and instead extended a hand to Cloud, saving him from his own descent. Without the bonds that Cloud had built, he could have easily become like Sephiroth.

Vincent, like Tifa, made the decision to break the cycle for himself. Despite his broken bonds and difficult circumstances, he was able to stay true to his inner goodness and remain on the path of good.

༻❁༺ Another Crisis Game Please!

I would love to play a game starring Sephiroth. Honestly, I think Crisis Core should've been the game for the First Class Boyos. It just had too much going on within the plot (IMO) and the game suffered from the constraints of originally being a handheld game. Zack is a great character, but honestly, he was just "there" a lot of times. He only took a permanent, active role closer to the end, which he had to for plot reasons. And I loved it!

Zack saw the results of his attempt to live heroically and play by the rules... It had not brought him to his hoped-for destination. He tried so hard to endure the terrible events and he did! But his prize was death and betrayal. Like Aerith, he was just too good for the world... It's interesting how similar his death is to hers. They faced immense hardships, but their powerful sense of morality and bonds kept them true to themselves while dying for a selfless and noble cause.

Honestly, the whole main cast of FF7 needs a fountain of hugs.

[retrieve-the-kraken]

I just realized something. Can someone please confirm if I’m correct?

I’m still writing my YR WIP, because I’ve managed to trap myself in an endless writing cycle (not at all an absolute masochist), and among all the research that I’ve done, I was looking for important dates and school breaks for fic writing purposes, and came across sportlov.

Sportlov or winter sport break, is apparently a week in late februari, early mars, where kids get a break to hopefully take advantage of the last bit of winter and go do sports (it had something to do with finding a way to keep the kids outside to save up on heating fuel at schools, and to reduce the risk of infections at schools). It can take place between week 7 and week 10 of school, and it depends on the region, county, etc. I’m not entirely sure if it applies to gymnasiet, because I couldn’t find anything that confirmed it, but I guess it does…?

According to my calculations, if season 2 of YR is supposed to take place in 2021, then Valentine’s day fell on a sunday. And the next sunday, the jubilee weekend, was 21 februari. That means, according to the calendars indicating which week corresponds to each county, Hillerska being located in Bjärstad, and Bjärstad being in Östergötland means that sportlov 2021 would fall on that week. Week 8, the week of 22 februari.

So after the bombshell speech, there’s a whole week off. I mean, it looks pretty much like spring in Hillerska, so I don’t know. What I want to know is, what happens when the Crown Prince and his boyfriend are seemingly whisked off to Drottningholm palace in the very beginning of sportlov? What then?

(This is not for fic-writing purposes, because I already wrote what happened after the jubilee and it was definitely not sportlov, because I found out about that later… I just want to know for actual YR season 3 prediction purposes).

[dicesmasher]

5e: Thoughts on the Yo-Yoing Problem

Yo-yoing: Bouncing up and down from 0HP

The D&D YouTuber Pack Tactics recently released a very interesting video about yo-yoing, the the ineffectiveness of a common homebrew rule to remedy it. It got me thinking about how I can approach the problem differently.

Yo-yoing is when a PC has been brought to 0HP in combat, is brought back on their feet by a healer feeding them very little healing, usually with something like Healing Word (1d4+spellmod) and immediately gets knocked down again on the monster's next turn, potentially leading to a cycle of going up and down like a yo-yo. This is problematic for two main reasons. a) It is not fun for anyone involved and b) it quickly breaks immersion when you try to in-universe rationalise how someone can be repeatedly brought within an inch of their life and it creates what amounts to an inconvience. There are no real consequences for dropping to zero (unless you use the optional injury rules in the DMG, which nobody does cause they suck).

A common homebrew fix for this problem is to introduce more consequences for dropping to 0HP, incentivising the players to avoid doing so in the first place. Pack Tactics focuses on the idea of adding levels of exhaustion when you go down, though they focus specifically on the vanilla 5e exhaustion mechanics, while I would rather use the new exhaustion system where there are 10 levels of exhaustion, each applying a cumulative -1 to all your d20 rolls.

Regardless, Pack Tactics points out that this doesn't really address the problem because some characters are going to drop to 0HP anyway, especially obligate melee fighters like paladins and barbarians. Implementing more consequences for dropping to 0HP may help to fix immersion, but it does not stop yo-yoing or make fights any more fun, especially for the melee fighters who rely on their d20 rolls to be effective, while the casters can broadly ignore exhaustion by forcing enemies to make saving throws instead.

Pack Tactics suggests that preventing yo-yoing may actually lie in buffing healing to keep up with damaging effects in battle, also citing potential upcoming changes to 5.5e, where many healing spells are doing up to twice the healing that they did in original 5e.

It's worth noting that I think the optimiser's perspective that Pack Tactics provides to RPG discourse is extremely valuable, but I often disagree with their conclusions as I do not approach the game from an optimising standpoint, and am less concerned with optimisation and more with immersion and fun through roleplaying and storytelling.

I'm personally skeptical of making healing more powerful, seeing the massive worldbuilding implications it already has - I think another way to potentially address yo-yoing is to flip around, and make encounters EASIER. Now, I know 5e is already known for being much more forgiving than other editions, but if easier encounters were combined with harsh consequences for dropping to 0HP, this would make dropping to 0HP more rare, but more scary and dramatic when it does happen. Monsters should be more willing to hit downed PCs and force them to fail death saves. Some animalistic monsters may attempt to drag away and eat unconscious PCs.

Besides, combat should be more than two sides trying to pile damage on each other. Combat provides opportunities for roleplaying, story beats, creativity and acquisition of material and informational resources. I think easier combats may open up opportunities as the players are no longer concerned with optimising their character builds.

I will discuss more ideas around homebrew dying mechanics in another post, but I must leave for now. Thanks for reading.

[verticalmomentum1]

“From Broke and Broken to Living the American Dream: A Resilient Veteran's Journey”

In the not-so-distant past, my life was a relentless storm of hardship and despair.

I was broke, busted, and utterly disgusted with the cards life had dealt me.

Each day felt like a daunting plunge into darkness, a fearful abyss that seemed to have no end.

But, one fateful day, as I drove to Ft. Dix, preparing to be med boarded out of the US ARMY after 23 years due to the loss of sight in one eye from a tragic training accident, something extraordinary happened.

I stumbled upon a podcast episode featuring a fellow Veteran who, despite losing his sight, was now living a life that could only be described as awe-inspiring.

I was fed up with the relentless cycle of being sick and tired. For five long years, I had grappled with a sense of hopelessness, struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, this podcast changed everything.

Years later, the turning point in my life was yet to come. It was a podcast hosted by the one and only Gary Vaynerchuk, a show that everyone around me couldn't stop raving about.

The topic was podcasting, a concept I wasn't entirely sure about and how it could help me.

Then, it hit me like a lightning bolt. I decided to create my own podcast: "Vertical Momentum Resiliency Podcast."

My aim was crystal clear – to provide hope and support to Veterans and First Responders just like me, who felt stuck and desperately needed a way out.

This decision gave me the lifeline I had been searching for. It provided me with the tools to break free from the shackles of my impoverished mindset, a cycle that seems to ensnare so many in today's world.

Through listening and applying the wisdom shared by today's Top Thought Leaders and Game Changers, I began to see profound changes in my life. The insights I gleaned were life-altering.

From Top Entrepreneurs, I learned how to kickstart, run, and monetize my own business.

From the Top Thought Leaders, I grasped the power to transform my mindset and start living my best life today.

As I started to implement these principles, my life underwent a seismic transformation. I began saving more money than I ever thought possible, and my podcast became a global sensation.

Even more importantly, I could now accompany my 11-year-old daughter to school every day and tuck her into bed every night, creating cherished memories I would never have to miss out on again.

If you're ready to take your life to the next level, I implore you to join me on this incredible journey.

Follow us on our podcast The Vertical Momentum Resiliency Podcast With Host Richard Kaufman Veteran-Keynote speaker-Comeback Coachand let's embrace the American Dream together.

Thank you for your support,

SGT (Ret) Richard Kaufman

Start Living The American 🇺🇸 Dream That You Fought For.

#americandream #successmindset #changeyourlifetoday #podcast

Tap Here And Join Us Now:

www.verticalmomentumpodcast.com

[the-everyday-nigeria]

Things I do to live a simple life

1. Settle for Second Place: In life we tend to push to be the best or the greatest at what we do, thereby putting ourselves under massive pressure. We're always in constant competition with the next guy, so in trying to live simply I've decided to settle for second place because I've decided that it's okay if my neighbor drives a Ferrari and I drive a Honda. As long as my car gets me to where I'm going it's alright.

2. No Multitasking: The modern world has taught us that we can do multiple things at the same time but in doing so, I found out that I put myself under a lot of undue stress and I end up with couple of incomplete task. So in trying to live a simple life I've decided to face a particular task squarely and finish it before moving on to the next one.

3. Reduce Social Media Consumption: With how we're getting shown people's picture perfect lives and we tend to envy and most times lose our way while trying to obtain that life, I quit a lot of my social media accounts and aside from that, we get lost in the endless scrolling cycle looking for the next dopamine fox to get us out of the humdrum instead of going out there and meeting/making friends or striving to be better we just scroll and later end up feeling like sh*t. So I quit most of my social media aside from YouTube (for learning) and WhatsApp (for communication).

4. Learning for Other People's Mistakes: "Let me learn from my mistakes": this is a common saying in the part of the world I come from but it is something I've never purposefully tried to apply. I don't believe in learning from my mistakes as some mistakes I've seen didn't give their owners the opportunity to learn from them so as much as it is in my power I learn from the mistake of others. It also saves me time as I already know what doesn't work; so instead of hammer at what someone has done and failed at, I'll look for a better way of getting it done.

5. Decluttering: This has been a big part of my life, since I picked up minimalism. I've greatly reduced the quantity of "stuff" that I own, cut down my wardrobe size to just the essentials, sold off items that had no purpose or I wasn't using anymore. Now I have more space, cleaning my house is easier, I don't bump into random things all the clutter is slowly but surely disappearing and I've seen the peace of mind the having less stuff brings plus it helped me give away some things and in doing so brought joy to other people.

These are some of the things I'm doing, feel free to suggest more simple life hacks in the comments!

[imcynthiali]

The First Post

The first entry in a brand new journal always feels the hardest to write. It's setting the tone for the rest of the journal. I always feel the need to make it perfect, to make a good impression upon whoever it is that finds themselves flipping open its covers. But no one's ever going to read what I write, not even I reread the things that I write.

But this entry feels easy to write. Maybe it's because I've been mulling over it's contents for the better half of a year. I'm tired of having no one to express these feelings with and I'm running out of space for them to hide. So I guess this is me going on a rant as much as it is me documenting my voiceover journey.

I wasn't expecting pursuing voiceover to be easy. I always knew it was going to be hard, but I never expected things to be quite this difficult. Learning the lingo, about acting and bringing words to life, about recording equipment and software, was difficult, but nothing will ever compare to the difficulty of trying to change in an environment that refuses to let you.

Growing up in an Asian immigrant household, we adhered to many of the stereotypes including disdain for pursuit of anything that isn't doctor or dentist. I always enjoyed the performing arts and I also knew that it was something that I'd never be allowed to do. I think I did enjoy science, but at this point, I'm struggling to tell what are things I truly feel and believe and what are things I told myself I feel and believe because that is what society expects of me. Not wanting to completely give up on my likes and hopes for myself, but also not wanting to be a complete disappoint to my father, I pursued a degree in chemistry in hopes of becoming a cosmetic chemist. Sure, chemistry is no doctor or dentistry, but at least it's not humanities. And besides, it was just going to be a stepping stone for what I actually want to do. Once I finish school, get a job, and start making money, that's when I'll be able to actually pursue what I want to do.

And for a while, it really felt like it was working. I finished undergrad, completed a cosmetic science certificate course, and landed a job in cosmetics manufacturing straight out of school. Sure, I was still living at home and making next to no money, but it's something that I can work with. I started to take online voiceover classes, built up savings to upgrade my recording equipment, and attended improv class where I met some amazing friends and even started dating a guy that I met there. It felt like, for the first time in my life, things were finally starting to come together and that I was going to make this happen. That all the suffering, the lifetime of being domineered by a narcissist was finally coming to an end.

Maybe things were a little too good. As quickly as things felt like they were all falling into place, it all started falling apart. Out of the blue, I get dumped. I was reminded that changing departments doesn't change the fact that it still belongs under the same toxic umbrella. I was felt up by some guy under the pretense that he wanted to sketch me. It felt like there was simply no getting better.

I tried to stay positive. I went to my first in-person VO intensive workshop. And it was amazing. I got to meet so many talented actors, established voice actors, audio engineers, and casting/directors. I learned so much that day and felt a renewed energy in wanting to make this work. But that only lasts for so long when your stuck in an endless cycle of mental abuse, being forced to repeatedly jump between toxic environments.

I wanted to change, I knew I needed change, but nothing was allowing it. I tried moving out, and thought I had found the perfect place, but that fell through. I tried applying for new jobs, but all I got back were rejections or silence. I went on a two-week vacation to Italy with my best friend, experienced more racism there than I ever had my whole life, and came back questioning everything that I know about friendship.

I wish there could be someone to hold me and tell me that things will be alright, but the only person I have is me, and I'm not capable of giving myself that kind of assurance. I feel like I should reach out to my sister or my friends, but they're so hard to get a hold of, and I wouldn't want to burden them with my shit. And at this point, I don't know if I'm capable of that sort of vulnerability anymore. Being too vulnerable gets you hurt and pushes people away, and if I push them away, then I will have literally nobody.

Friendships and meaningful relationships aren't the only things that require vulnerability. Acting requires vulnerability. Lots of it. To be successful at acting requires you to be vulnerable, to allow yourself to feel all kinds of feelings and express and show those feelings, and allowing others to feel them with you. But how am I supposed to do that when every cell in my body, every person around me, every place that I'm in is letting me know that it's dangerous to do so, that being vulnerable and emotional quite literally puts my safety into question?

People can make drastic decisions and take actions that they never thought they would be able to until they are backed into a corner. I am backed into a corner. I either do or I die. Come February, I will be on the other side of the world on working holiday. Maybe it's too extreme of a reaction. But it's the quickest way I can think of to get myself away from this place and to give myself a fighting chance at doing something I love. And maybe, I can finally start living life for myself.

[aakhyakashyap]

The Power of Consistency: Achieving Your Fitness Goals

Fitness goals are often easier to set than to achieve. We start with excitement and enthusiasm, but over time, our motivation can dip. The secret to overcoming this is consistency. It might sound simple, but staying consistent is the key that unlocks success in any fitness journey. Whether you want to lose weight, build muscle, or improve your overall health, consistency will get you there. Let’s explore why consistency matters and how to make it work for you.

Why Consistency Matters

Imagine planting a seed and watering it just once, then expecting it to grow into a tree. It sounds ridiculous, right? The same principle applies to fitness. One intense workout or one healthy meal won’t change your body overnight. It’s the repeated actions, done over time, that make the difference.

Here’s why consistency is so powerful:

Build Habits: When you exercise regularly or eat healthy meals daily, these actions become habits. Once a habit is formed, it feels natural to continue. You won’t have to rely on willpower alone because your brain starts to expect and crave that positive behavior.

Steady Progress: Consistency leads to gradual, sustainable progress. Small improvements, day by day, accumulate into significant changes over time. It’s like saving money – a little saved regularly adds up to a big sum.

Prevents Burnout: Trying to do too much at once, like exercising for hours every day or following extreme diets, often leads to burnout. A consistent, balanced approach is less likely to leave you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed.

Boosts Confidence: Each small win builds confidence. As you notice the changes in your body or energy levels, you’ll feel motivated to keep going.

How to Stay Consistent

Now that we know why consistency is important, the next question is how to stay consistent, especially when life gets busy or motivation dips. Here are some practical tips:

Set Realistic Goals

It’s great to aim high, but setting overly ambitious goals can lead to frustration if you don’t see quick results. Break your big goal into smaller, more achievable steps. For example, instead of saying, “I want to lose 30 pounds,” focus on losing 1-2 pounds a week. These smaller milestones are easier to track and celebrate.

Create a Routine

Having a routine makes it easier to stay consistent. Choose specific days and times for your workouts, and treat them like any other important appointment. If mornings are hectic, try fitting in an evening workout or a lunchtime walk. Once exercise becomes part of your daily schedule, it’s harder to skip.

Mix It Up

Doing the same workout every day can get boring, which can lead to skipping sessions. Keep things exciting by varying your routine. Try different types of exercises like yoga, strength training, running, or cycling. This not only keeps you interested but also works different muscles, leading to better overall fitness.

Start Small

It’s tempting to dive in headfirst, but that often leads to burnout. Start with manageable goals, such as working out for 20-30 minutes a day, three times a week. As you get stronger, you can increase the duration and intensity of your workouts. Remember, doing something is always better than doing nothing.

Find Accountability

It’s easier to stay on track when someone else is rooting for you. Find a workout buddy, join a fitness class, or sign up for a local sports league. Even sharing your goals with a friend or family member can give you that extra push to stay consistent.

If you prefer solo workouts, consider using a fitness app that tracks your progress. Seeing your efforts add up over time can be very motivating.

Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself

Life happens. There will be days when you miss a workout or indulge in a treat. What’s important is that you don’t let one slip-up derail your progress. Get back on track the next day, and keep going. Fitness is a long-term journey, and it’s normal to have ups and downs along the way.

Track Your Progress

Keeping a fitness journal or using an app to track your workouts and meals can help you stay consistent. When you see how far you’ve come, it’s easier to stay motivated. Celebrate your small victories – whether it’s lifting a heavier weight, running a longer distance, or simply feeling more energized.

Overcoming Challenges to Consistency

Even with the best intentions, life can sometimes get in the way. Here are a few common challenges and how to overcome them:

Lack of Time: If you’re pressed for time, shorten your workout but increase the intensity. A 20-minute high-intensity interval training (HIIT) session can be just as effective as a longer workout.

Boredom: If you’re getting bored, try a new workout class, change your running route, or invest in some new equipment to spice things up.

No Immediate Results: It can be discouraging if you don’t see results right away. Remember that fitness is a marathon, not a sprint. Stick with it, and you’ll see the payoff in time.

Low Motivation: When motivation is low, remind yourself of why you started. Reflect on how good you feel after a workout, or reward yourself with something small after sticking to your routine for a week or month.

Conclusion

Achieving your fitness goals isn’t about perfection – it’s about persistence. By staying consistent with your workouts, nutrition, and self-care, you’ll build momentum and create lasting change. Remember that small steps, taken consistently, lead to big results. Stick with it, and you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish over time.

[alyjojo]

April 🤯 2024 Monthly - Leo

Preshuffle: I got a really positive energy from yours as soon as I switched gears from Cancer’s reading. You have an opportunity to make something everything you’ve wanted it to be and the only thing in your way - is you. Holding onto outdated judgements, grudges, maybe needing to save money, for most it’s like you could if you wanted to, but you’d have to let some other thing go and you don’t want to.

Meditation: You were raking leaves for people around the neighborhood, fall could be significant for you in this situation. Rather than using any new/updated equipment or help, you were doing it the old fashioned way, rake and bags, alone. It was taking *forever*, and you refused to be swayed. Still, everyone on the block was waiting to be next, you had takers, it could just be done easier / quicker / in a better way.

Main energy: Wheel of Fortune

Some of you may have a spontaneous moment of serendipity, there’s an instant attraction or even love at first sight, it feels that way anyway. You could be passionately interested in someone around you, probably someone new, that you’re working with in some way. Could be work but could be anything, the guy fixing your roof or a client at work, the cute girl that makes your coffee, anyone. This person could have a whole family, or you do, it’s like a casual flirting thing that makes you feel good and maybe makes you realize what’s missing in your own world. Take it as a sign without seeing it as like…omg I met my soulmate at McDonalds, I’m too late, no. It’s not that. Origin and Death show something can stop as fast as it starts, especially something new. Fleeting. If you’re coupled up, you could be the one initiating romance back into this connection, with someone you love deeply but also like…let’s play dress up, you’re the pilot 😆 FUN. Those that are single may have their careers on hold while waiting for “the right person”, but this could just be a phase of life where it’s time to get to work with Order as one of the oracles. Moon Virgo tends to avoid love unless they’ve got everything else together, or not at all buuut the right person maybe, that could be a message for those of you that maybe don’t - don’t take it if it don’t fit. If there’s no particular person then it’s just not time, the Wheel is moving and you can have faith for a later time.

What’s going on in April:

Page of Cups:

Cute energy, sweet messages, crushing butterfly in the stomach kind of feelings, Ace of Wands shows someone new, or a new cycle in your current relationship. They do things to you, make you feel all of the right things, especially in regards to passion. 10 Pentacles at the bottom, could be work related again, could be a long established relationship that you are breathing new life into, or again you or they have no idea the other person is deeply involved elsewhere. Meaning the crush may be secret, unsaid, held back. I don’t get that as the main story though, for most it’s probably work or something where you have to work with this person as a team. You both volunteer garden on the weekends idk, but you work well together in whatever you do, and there’s definitely some flirting. Harmless, a Page is just cute, could be confused with “being nice”, no one is trying to step on any toes. But do you feel it, yeah 💯 If you’re already with this person, then you’re amping up the sweetness because you “crave” this person - I heard crave. You want them to feel good, they make you feel good, apply that in all ways, both sides. Or that’s what you want anyway. If not love, you could feel inspired to work on some sort of side hustle, creative stuff, art, writing, drama literally is here - any form of acting, etc. All this Aries energy has you motivated to live.

The Hanged Man:

For those of you fresh out of something, this is the row that tells you to chill, heal from what you’ve just gotten out of, because impulsive mistakes are likely. Some of you may be following your crotch vs. your heart, getting googly eyed over a pretty face with not much to really offer you - that you’d actually want. Some of you just want to feel desirable. I’m sure you are. You’re holding onto a lot from the past that needs to be sorted and dealt with, 8 Swords at the bottom shows you could be keeping yourself stuck or blind to issues that may only repeat if they’re not learned - Wheel of Fortune. You could have a history of rushing from one to the next and then…karma. If it’s the same thing every time it’s a pattern.

2 Cups:

This is what you want, genuine, reciprocated love. But you chase people with shallow intentions, maybe for shallow reasons, they’re hot & fun but not dependable, or long lasting. 2 Pentacles rev can show players, maybe you date players and then think you can change them, or you keep attracting people that try to change you and that’s not happening - but you keep ending up in the same boat. If you’re wanting someone to leave someone else, karma usually plays out as they’ll end up doing the same thing to you, so that’s no good either. If you’re the one in a connection, you could feel trapped to it, forcing a connection that doesn’t feel real or maybe it didn’t until now, because you’re seeing something that’s missing. Some of you may have more like…duty relationships than romantic ones. Or that’s been the phase it’s in. But you are resistant to change, because you’re a fixed sign, or you were, if you saw the light don’t just blame the other person, you were in that too. Single ones feel like they’re falling in love, or actually are, but they’re forcing friendship or a smile because…reasons. Holding back, either out of fear or because of practical reasons, someone is taken and that’s that. But you feel things.

3 Pentacles:

You’re cooperating with this person whoever they are, Queen of Cups. The Page earlier can show you have children with this person, or that you’ve known them for a really long time, 3 Pentacles can be an old schoolmate or someone you’re reconnecting with, 6 Cups has popped up a couple of times. Maybe you both have children involved in your lives somehow, or they make you feel like a kid again. If this is you, you’re in love with this person, or you feel like you are anyway. 8 Swords at the bottom, you don’t tell them. If they’re not single, that’s the inner conflict, or you’re not. You could be needing to focus more on your own self love and are sabotaging yourself by thinking someone else will “fix” an emptiness you’re feeling. That’s deep. If this is your person, you both may be hard workers that raise kids and just never have time to spend together, you don’t express your deeper emotions - which are very loving. Time would be the issue there, but you love them and want them in all of the ways. If you’ve had some kind of an ending, you’re forcing kindness and platonic interactions but you still love this person. You or they could act in an orderly sort of manner, just business, which makes it awkward to be emotional even though you’re feeling it.

2 Wands:

Moving forward, this is showing you plan to just make decisions for yourself, worrying about yourself. If they join you, great, and if they don’t, there’s not much you can do. This could be sabotage if you are in a close relationship and just not being vulnerable or emotional with your person. Some of you may have a moment where you fall madly in love, and then you’re over it and moving on with your life, in and right back out. Some could be planning to be single, or planning someone else to be single, then you’ll speak up and take action towards this person - but until then you’re not doing or saying anything - to avoid any drama it may cause, especially if this is a 3rd party thing, Drama is here and you want to avoid it. This all could be switched. Essentially you need to just worry about you, your job, your laundry, your friendships, and your life. If someone’s meant to be, you can’t miss them. I do see “meant to meet”, again I’m seeing a close brush with someone hot & flirty at some shop you’re at, and then they leave and you never see them again. But you miss that feeling, and now know what to search for (along with the meaningful stuff yeah?), or bring into your already established connection, it’s a (hopefully positive) lesson.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Pisces, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Cancer & Virgo

Oracle: ✨

10 Burden 🫠

Many times we take on the stress of those we love and care for. We see it as the ultimate sacrifice. We take on others’ burden to save them the trouble or heartache. Ironically, the way energy and the universe work makes this a very counterproductive way of operating. When we take on the burdens of others, we deny them the ability to learn and grow from their own lessons. We also interfere with divine planning and timing. Never one to be thwarted - any lessons circumvented will absolutely reappear - sometimes with much more force than what was originally intended.

Ask yourself if you or another is taking on troubles and lessons not belonging to them out of a need to be needed. This stems from the fear that you (or they) are fundamentally not enough. This is not true, you are created perfect. Your fears and doubts keep you separated from this truth. This is the separation one can feel from Spirit. Once you accept and believe you are perfect and worthy, the tendency to make yourself invaluable to others through your help and assistance will go away. Your relationships can then be based on truth and not manipulation.

Origin 🌱

Initiation - Creativity - Vitality

Death 💀

Endless - Harm - Inevitable

Order 🧮 Moon Virgo

Drama 🎭 Mercury Leo

We enter into April as:

Wolf of White Light 🌙

“There is a guide inside of us.”

Wolf of White Light comes to remind you that you must use your instinct, for it is what protects you. You are more aware of this than you realize. Your instinct is finely tuned and accurate, so why doubt it? He reminds us that focusing on past injustices will not prepare us for the present. Wolf of White Light warns that time spent in the past also leaves you defenseless in the future. Letting go of the old is signified, for if you do not, you may miss the opportunities that Spirit has planned for you. Wolf is the spirit guide that comes to lead you up the mountain you are about to climb. He only appears to those seeking a guide. Allow him to guide you, and follow your instincts. Remember that when the Wolf appears, it’s time to move on. He is a reminder that your journey is guided. With your eyes focused forward, the Wolf is waiting in the distance for you. Now is the time.

What is to be learned in April:

Pink From Pinkton 💗

“I am more than I think I am.”

Pink shows us the process of self-awareness. Are you trying to recapture a past moment that no longer fits? You may have outgrown something, and while it can be a challenge to admit it, being fully who you are is much more glorious than trying to fit yourself into the past. If you are presently upset or struggling with a difficult situation, it may be because you are trying to make something work when it simply can’t. You may be seeking to keep something far less than what you deserve. With self-awareness and discovery comes a new obligation, using your new knowledge. New ideas, projects & opportunities can only come if you stop blocking them.

Pink may be a lucky color 🩷