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#will i actually do any of the exercise
whorecedes18 · 1 year
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this pe coursework is gonna be the best thing that's ever happened to me im gonna be in the best shape ever when it's done
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ciderjacks · 3 months
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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scealaiscoite · 28 days
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⋆˚࿔ seven word prompts for seven sentence fics 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
¹⁾ “really? i never knew that about you.”
²⁾ “come on, don’t pretend for my sake.”
³⁾ “looks like they left in a hurry.”
⁴⁾ “who’s calling you this late at night?”
⁵⁾ “seriously, were you dropped as a baby?!”
⁶⁾ “i could eat a horse.” “please don’t.”
⁷⁾ “ice cream? at three in the morning?”
⁸⁾ “get your ass here, right fucking now!”
⁹⁾ “i really did care about you, y’know.”
¹⁰⁾ “you’re not going home, you need stitches!”
¹¹⁾ “we need to get you warm, fast.”
¹²⁾ “how long have we been driving for?”
¹³⁾ “[name]- “ “don’t start. [boss]’s already deafened me.”¹⁾
¹⁴⁾ “what’s a single bed between three friends?”
¹⁵⁾ “why are you in just a towel?!”
¹⁶⁾ “i’m your bodyguard, not your damn friend.”
¹⁷⁾ “swallow your pride.” “i’d rather swallow concrete.”
¹⁸⁾ “you look really good in my money.”
¹⁹⁾ “i said i’d help. didn’t say how.”
²⁰⁾ “come, sit. i made you some dinner.”
²¹⁾ “hide! they’re coming your way, and fast!”
²²⁾ “i knew you had feelings for them.”
²³⁾ “you’re exhausted, pet. let me mind you.”
²⁴⁾ “[name]’s in the hospital. it’s not good.”
²⁵⁾ “but you promised it’d all be okay!”
²⁶⁾ “their cover’s been blown- get them out!”
²⁷⁾ “who’d buying you flowers that isn’t me?”
²⁸⁾ “i was stupid enough to believe you.”
²⁹⁾ “isn’t paying for dinner a date thing?”
³⁰⁾ “for you, i’d do anything.” “i know.”
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miodiodavinci · 2 days
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im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave
#my job has invented new and even more agonizing ways to make itself stressful to endure#and that isn't even counting the fact that i've now seriously fucked up my wrist transporting 30lb boxes up and down stairs#or the fact that i occasionally get piercing shoulder pains if i'm not super careful about how i use the hand truck#or the fact that whenever i come home on mondays my entire lower body is so sore that i can't move beyond a weak shuffle#it's the fact that my boss has no sense of organization#so my supervisor and i are basically salvaging or starting from scratch every week#it's the fact that some of our clients are asking for things we're not even contracted to provide#like access to our company materials or additional resources outside of our scheduled bookings#and that there's this constant looming threat of 'ohhh don't be bad at your job!! or else we'll lose our contract with these people!!'#but 'bad at your job' in this case means 'not bending over backwards to accommodate the least accommodating circumstances possible'#like 'hey you need to lead this training exercise meant for 20 people except actually you only have 4 people'#'and actually none of them are familiar with the prerequisites for this training or have any experience with the skills'#'and also none of them want to be there and half of them just Don't Do These Things as a rule'#'and if you try to make them do anything they don't want to do (even if it's literally the point of the training) they Will leave'#'and then we will no longer have enough clients to pay you'#like. what am i doing. this company was not designed to work with this format. we're not an arts and crafts group or a club meeting#hi so i wrote this post before starting weekend work prep#it has been 3 hours now#im still not done#i haven't eaten and my wrist hurts so bad#i need to.................. take a break................................
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035kg · 5 months
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2024 bodychecks
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kil9 · 1 year
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everyone agrees that the patriarchy teaches men to hide their emotions, and that this is a bad thing, so why is it that when men actually show an emotion everyone jumps to call him an abuser or manipulator or whatever :\
#99.txt#im so sick of this#you all have no faith in people. you just see the word boyfriend or he pronouns and go !!ABUSER!! DUMP HIM! and dont see how there could be#any negative reprocusions of that................#i still cant forget that ANONYMOUS message where someones boyfriend was worried they were cheating. & the person who got the ask was like#''wow HE'S definitely the one cheating.''#on an ANONYMOUS message ????? how could you possibly say that with confidence with ZERO information ?#some guy was worried and thats what you have to say ????? and you act like you have no hand in men supressing themselves ?#someone who might have had mental health problems or have been cheated on before and been hurt. like.#whoa call me a red flag or whatever for saying this but. no one would say that if it was a woman ! no one !#we all have a hand in society and we all have a hand in the patriarchy and if you dont get your head out of your ass and wise up#then ur just gona get more people hurt#i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!!#if you still feel the same thats fine ! it was a good thought exercise !!!#but you need to consider these things even if they are uncomfortable to you 🤨 in order to challenge your mind#this is how we get those bullshit ''crying is a manipulation tactic 🥺'' takes#im SICK OF IT !!!!!! everyone use your brain NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#stop assuming everyone is the worst person NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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airbus-a350 · 2 months
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was about to say yet another inflammatory post about artists on tumblr but decided against it 👍 healing and learning
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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#i know theyre just stupid entitled and arrogant assholes#who think they know me and anything abt my life but#i still get so angry bc ppl constantly judge me for everything#which is why i developed avpd in the first place lmao#but how can they say that im not even trying#i do. i exercise i journal i meditate. i beg for therapy (its almost been a year and still nothing lol)#i try. but avpd esp untreated avpd is actually a disability#ppl dont understand but avpd makes u passive and unable to do anything#even if my fav artist releases an album i procrastinate listening to it for weeks sometimes#ppl dont get avpd at all#i am a prisoner in my own mind and there is NOTHING i can do#i am in severe mental agony and pain bc of it#im scared bc im useless and worthless and cant take care of myself#but my mom's leaving me and im terrified of ending up homeless bc im not a survivor#im a loser pos nothing who is incapable of doing anything by myself#plus like yeah... my mom cant do any of this anymore and is close to breaking down#so im scared she'll just move and let me become homeless bc she feels so desperate and suffocated (not just by me)#i HAVE to get my shit together#i HAVE to do my assignments and pass my classes#and apply for university and student housing#and i HAVE to do this this year#it is so so so soon and im freaking out#im 25 and dont know how to be an adult#but im gonna be forced into that soon or i'll be homeless so im terrified#god... i hate everyone and i hate society bc in this world#you are all on your own#there is NO compassion or empathy or help#you gotta make it on your own otherwise you will die#and making it on your own with any kind of mental or physical disability or disorder or illness is so so so much harder#and ppl dont see or acknowledge that they just beat u down for not being 'strong'
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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🍰🥛
#i've been so good not complaining about this... so im gonna do it now :3#early this week during my walk... a point in my shoulder / collarbone / neck started hurting so bad#it was at that level where your saliva production increases and you start feelings slightly nauseous#idk if it was bc it was so painful OR if the pain is at a point that puts pressure on certain nerves#and during the week i've felt it on and off but at a much lowe intensity#but this morning i woke up at 6am and couldnt fall asleep bc it hurt too much 🥴#i've googled sm but i just cant figure out at all what it could be... this doesnt fit any description#it isnt focused in my shoulder joint bc i can move my arm in all directions and degrees and it doesnt make it worse#anyway i read and read but i cant figure out at all what it is and that annoys me bc now idk what to do T-T#it could maybeeeee be that im so fkn tense and always have muscle tension in my neck throat and shoulders#it is possible that it now hit a specific pressure point and now i have a pinched nerve type of situation where my muscles are tensed up#or it is bc i could have done certain exercises wrong at the gym#im always so anxious and cautious abt exercising wrong but i still cant ever be sure if i do it correctly :(((#i might have used one of the machines for shoulders/biceps/back incorrectly#like maybe the seat has been too high or low :/// and now i've strained smth???#it made me so sad tho bc when i was at the gym this week i skipped all upperbody exercises bc im too scared 😔#i want it to pass bc like it actually hurts in such a weird and uncomfortable way like it makes me wanna puke and it comes in waves#but nothing makes it better like not heat not painkillers not stretches ... so im just not doing too much#and hope it will go away :'))) but also now im scared of exercising bc what if im doing it wrong and damage my body?!? 😭#i hate my body bc i have so many random unexplainable pains and it is so annoying >.<#ok now i've complained so i feel better ^-^
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medicinemane · 3 months
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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lotus-dancer-nilou · 2 months
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Miss Nilou! how are you so light on your feet? I may be a cat-hybrid..but I don't understand how you're so quick!
-Estella/@murderousaudhdcat
Oh- Hello! I'm not really sure myself haha, maybe it's just my dance training. It focuses a lot on the flexibility in my feet and legs to make my movements smoother.
You're not the first person to ask me this, actually. Someone suggested that I teach a movement therapy class, but I'm not sure if many people would be interested in it.
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gayspock · 8 months
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i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss
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musical-chick-13 · 10 months
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"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"
I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.
#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore#unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki)#(daily media plug for shiki)#then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it)#and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth#My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I#am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas.#mel screams about fictional ladies again#there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to#ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men.#(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly)#(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr#user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like')#I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way'#and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because#they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters'#like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao#and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a#direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases#like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence#but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that#women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white)#fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already#telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is.#it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them#and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because#if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again#no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things#inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/#prejudice is nowhere to be found
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carpathxanridge · 10 months
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won’t comment this on the same post because it’s probably not what they want to hear rn but i know that some people HAVE “cured” their CFS, or rather have been able to manage it and return to moderate activity levels, by essentially “gradually building stamina.” but the approach and mentality behind the pacing approach is SOOO different than what the average person assumes “gradually building stamina” must look like, and always errs on the side of MINIMUM activity because of the seriousness of PEM. like it sucks to have the 3 mile walks you were once accustomed to suddenly make you bedridden the next day. that’s why pacing would mean, for a very long period of time, going on… a five minute walk, if that’s where you’re at. a one minute walk around your living space a few times a day. or ten seconds of standing, if completely bedridden. but if you’re not bedridden and are doing things around the house, even just if sitting up to work at a computer, pacing ALSO means laying down flat and having a full body rest multiple times a day, scheduled throughout the day. it means not just allowing rest, but ENFORCING it. the barrier to people with CFS slowly building their stamina back up is usually this idea that part of that endeavor involves willpower, that if you can just will it hard enough, try harder, the CFS will go away. how could you possibly need MORE rest when you’re doing nothihg? when this mentality is the opposite of what CFS needs. people who’ve successfully gotten their old lives “back” after CFS have done it by respecting PEM, erring on the side of caution, being so gentle with themselves and careful not to send themselves into a flare-up.
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voluptuarian · 7 days
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At least once every 6 months I become convinced I just literally cannot write fiction anymore. Considering that's a thing that actually happened with my poetry writing and my drawing ability it's a somewhat concerning idea. Currently in one of these phases now.
#I've found writing difficult ever since I hit my 20s#not only the never finishing anything and anything I do write taking an incredibly long time to actually produce#but like#just not knowing how to write a scene#I'll have huge blanks in the stream of a series of scenes where I just don't know how to describe people like#turning around#crossing a street#sitting down#and often I'll have thought the words to describe a scene out in my head and it's fine and then I go to write them down#and half of it's gone or somehow the quality has completely degraded and there's nothing worthwhile to put down#it's ridiculous#and like I don't know what to do about it and like actual Writing advice seems to not exist#like there's style advice and how to get yourself writing#and specific stuff like 'show don't tell' don't say 'feel' etc#but like nothing for like how to actually just Write#not that I even have a way to describe my problem in searchable terms anyway#writing exercises never help because they're always little mini scenes-- i.e. exactly what my attempts to write stories#tend to turn into disconnected collections of anyway#(this only applies to fiction because god forbid I be able to write anything for Myself)#(meanwhile 5000 pages of college bullshit come out fine)#(just like what happened with my artistic ability-- draw for the assignment: fine; draw for yourself? complete shit)#there's probably some way to get help somewhere hidden behind 500 paywalls that I'll never be able to access#sometimes I think eventually I'll just be unable to put two words together any longer and then I'll die
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