#i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!!
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everyone agrees that the patriarchy teaches men to hide their emotions, and that this is a bad thing, so why is it that when men actually show an emotion everyone jumps to call him an abuser or manipulator or whatever :\
#99.txt#im so sick of this#you all have no faith in people. you just see the word boyfriend or he pronouns and go !!ABUSER!! DUMP HIM! and dont see how there could be#any negative reprocusions of that................#i still cant forget that ANONYMOUS message where someones boyfriend was worried they were cheating. & the person who got the ask was like#''wow HE'S definitely the one cheating.''#on an ANONYMOUS message ????? how could you possibly say that with confidence with ZERO information ?#some guy was worried and thats what you have to say ????? and you act like you have no hand in men supressing themselves ?#someone who might have had mental health problems or have been cheated on before and been hurt. like.#whoa call me a red flag or whatever for saying this but. no one would say that if it was a woman ! no one !#we all have a hand in society and we all have a hand in the patriarchy and if you dont get your head out of your ass and wise up#then ur just gona get more people hurt#i know circumstances are different sometimes but you actually DO need to consider how you would feel if the tables were turned !!!!#if you still feel the same thats fine ! it was a good thought exercise !!!#but you need to consider these things even if they are uncomfortable to you 🤨 in order to challenge your mind#this is how we get those bullshit ''crying is a manipulation tactic 🥺'' takes#im SICK OF IT !!!!!! everyone use your brain NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#stop assuming everyone is the worst person NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Of All Things, I Became a Geovishap
You always imagined that if you woke up in the world of Genshin, the possibilities of being a Visionless wielder of elements and a slew of romantic shenanigans would lie in your wake. But when you instead find yourself in the body of a Geovishap with romance likely out of the question, your only conclusion is that the gods of reincarnation isekai hate your guts.
cw. you're a geovishap
pairing. zhongli x reader, xiao x reader, ganyu x reader, yun jin x reader (separate)
notes. don't feel like being a geovishap today? well go ahead and go to the series masterlist and see what your life could be if you were something else in genshin.
You know the saying 'all men are created equal'? Yeah, whoever made that clearly never woke up reincarnated as a geovishap.
You're not even a geovishap hatchling which is arguably cute enough that a kid could convince their parent to let them keep you as a pet. No, you're a fully grown geovishap and what typically happens when you get spotted? It's attempt to smite on sight. If it isn't someone screaming in fear, it's someone grabbing some sort of weapon to do you in themselves.
Yeah, not all creatures in Genshin are created equally. Hell if you were going to be some sort of Geo creature, why couldn't you be a Geo slime or something? Those are cute!
Either way, you definitely have your work cut out for you.
Zhongli
By far the best companion you could gain in your experience of being a geovishap... in Zhongli's present point and time. If this was him during his war god days? Well, you're pretty sure you would have been smited on sight unless you could convince the dude you were no threat to his becoming Archon
Thankfully as Zhongli is now, he's a lot more patient. Even better is the fact that he knows you're different than the other geovishaps, not to be the main character here
But Zhongli can tell there's something intrinsically wrong with you being a geovishap and considering the two of you can actually communicate with one another, without telling him his entire life is a series of codes and plot devices, you explain to him you're a human that's been turned into a geovishap and you'd really appreciate it if he could find a way to turn you back to normal
He has no immediate remedies for your troubles, but Zhongli promises that he'll let the adepti know not to let any harm come to you should they come across you
He also becomes great company, unexpectedly. Geovishaps aren't really ones to stay in groups outside of the breeding season (which you definitely want to avoid), so Zhongli reasons that this existence is one that is lonely for you
He visits you often and brings you foods you'd enjoy. Things the people eat, which you appreciate because you were getting tired of eating nothing but sunsettias everyday
Asks Cloud Retainer to craft some sort of communication device you can wear so you can communicate with any adeptus you come across. Or the Traveler so you don't just become resources during their adventure
He even teaches you more about the Geo element and how to best utilize those abilities as you are from creating stable structures to keep you safe from the elements when you sleep outside to giving yourself an extra boost to reach things as needed
You really appreciate Zhongli for treating you like the person you are despite the circumstances. Sometimes though he can't seem to help himself when he rests a hand atop of your rocky head gently when he reassures you that he'll find a away to turn you back to normal
You nudge against him when his eyes become clouded with nostalgia as he recalls friends long since passed and he'll learn against you with a small smile, thanking you for the comfort
He makes your rocky heart beat quite a bit but trying to hit on a guy, even a guy that's a pseudo rock dragon, isn't easy to build up the courage to do when you're made of rocks
Xiao
Yeah. No
You know what sort of timing the conqueror of demons is on and because of that you don't even want to attempt to run into this guy because you know he won't wait long enough for you to convince him you're 'not like the other vishaps'
Just because you aren't a threat now doesn't mean you won't become one later, at least that's what Xiao would likely think
So you do your best not to run into him because unless you somehow manage to turn human again, you don't foresee any interactions with Xiao turning out positively even less so if you run into a member of the Fatui
But should you come across Zhongli and he lets the yaksha know you're not a threat, you won't find yourself speared any time soon. If anything Xiao becomes something akin to a bodyguard to make sure you don't end up getting killed by someone or something. Especially after you get a communication device you wear around your neck
He's not the most talkative though. Usually if he saves you from some sort of ordeal, he handles it and leaves as quickly as he comes
It takes quite a bit of effort on your part to become close to him but if he does end up becoming attached to you, his kindness is still quite clumsy
you'll often wake up to piles of food in front of your den, courtesy of xiao, not that he'll tell you
and he usually checks on you from afar before going about his business contrast to how he normally only waited for you to roar his name if you ever needed him to come to your rescue before ignoring you again
if you ever got yourself into some danger trying to defend him, believing he needs help, he will scold you severely and no amount of trying to look cute (not that a fully grown geovishap can) will stop the onslaught of words
they're out of fear though, not anger. he doesn't want to lose something or someone precious to him and that includes you now
Ganyu
A sweet companion you couldn't be more thankful for
Qilin are peaceful only bearing arms during times of absolute unrest. Thankfully, you reincarnated into the right era because so you don't have anything to worry about as far as Ganyu hurting you
You got her attention when you found her indulging in a nap in the middle of the fields and got worried she may find herself getting attacked, so you decided to stand watch like a rocky guard dog
You even brought qixing flowers for her to nibble on when she woke up, holding them in your mouth to- okay, upon second thought you're sure she wouldn't something covered in geovishap drool in her mouth but maybe she would like the flowers anyway
it was certainly a start when she woke up and saw you beside her but thankfully the qixing flowers were definitely a nice touch in keeping you from getting your ass beat or ganyu taking off at the speed of sound
maybe the easiest companion to form a connection with after zhongli. she finds your gentle temperament sweet and comes to even think of you as her geovishap companion
one she can confess her secrets to knowing you won't tell anyone, nor will you judge her for her worries concerning her adeptus and human halves making her feel like an outsider in both worlds
the only downside is, due to how busy ganyu is, she doesn't get to see you often and you aren't about to lumber your way into liyue harbor and subject yourself to a fearful mob
would be undoubtedly excited if you gained a communication device of some sort, allowing you both to talk and have full conversations with one another that wasn't simply her rambling about her days but even if you didn't, she'd find your way of showing her you care about her lovely
you like ganyu truly........... you're just 99% sure that she thinks of you as something more like a pet than a romantic interest even if she isn't completely human
Yun Jin
If you made a list of characters you thought you could befriend as geovishap, yun jin wouldn't be on it
And yet apparently life had different plans when you encountered the opera singer during one of her nature stints to rehearse and come up with new operas to write
Yun Jin would describe it as something straight out of fiction. A lone girl singing in the forest only to come face to face with a geovishap... but rather than attacking or growing aggressive, the stone creature simply watched in enjoyment
Perhaps that is something worthy of a script!
Of course, that doesn't mean Yun Jin threw all caution out to the wind. In her eyes, you're still a wild animal with elemental abilities and she doesn't wish to subject herself to fucking around and finding out with you
But hoping that this could become a friendship where she at least could start bringing some sort of food with her, you make it habit to watch her rehearse when she finds herself in the same spot time and time again
A surprisingly effective method though because each time you show up to watch Yun Jin perform, the more she lets her guard down. Apparently even a geovishap enjoys partaking in the arts
She won't be apt to feed you after a few weeks though, she'll likely share a snack with you after a couple months only when she is absolutely sure you're not a threat
When she does, you rejoice you have something to nibble on that isn't just edible berries and fruits because you refuse to eat anything else a geovishap eats
Makes you some sort of head dress so it is always easy to tell that you're the geovishap that she often spends her time with. Something of nature, of course, you're not a pet in her eyes. Simply a kindred spirit of another species
#look she's writing#headcanons#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#zhongli x reader#xiao x reader#ganyu x reader#yun jin x reader
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cinnamon girl - sukuna
sukuna x fem. reader (reader is Nanami's sister)
Part 3 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1 - Part 2
Lmk if you want to be added to the tag list! :D
This road trip is Sukuna's worst nightmare. Firstly, they're playing his old team in Kyoto, the one he left in the middle of the season in questionable circumstances. His last month with the team was in no way pleasant, he was benched and constantly frowned upon by his teammates. The moment he heard about his trade offer to the Wizards he jumped on it and left without saying goodbye to anyone. He knew he's gonna get roughed up during the two back-to-back games ahead of him and that the tension would be high while in Kyoto. Secondly, Nanami was breathing down his neck constantly, keeping an eye on him 24/7. Sukuna cursed himself for not being more subtle about the way he approached you, he loathed the attention he was getting from your brother. He still wanted his approval, now more than anything, but he was not sure about the price he had to pay to get it. Sukuna was a loner. Despite having good relationships with his teammates and brothers, he preferred being alone. He found most people bothersome and downright annoying. So having Nanami around him every second of the day was a nuisance and that's putting it lightly.
"Is it really necessary that you follow me around all day?" he asked, irritation clear in his tone.
"You want my approval or not?" the blonde questions. It is not like he was pleased with the situation either, but he needed to be thorough with his background checks. Your heart was fragile and he was determined to protect it with all his might.
"I do, but is it really necessary for you to follow me around all day? What's next? Are you going to hold my dick while I piss too?"
Nanami frowns. He might have gone a teensy bit overboard, considering how tame Sukuna's days have been so far. He has a very strict and particular routine that he follows without fail. He wakes up at 6 and hits the gym for exactly an hour and forty-three minutes. After that, he takes a shower and eats breakfast, the same thing every time. Four eggs, four slices of bacon, and an obnoxiously large serving of salad. Then he calls his brothers. Yuji always answers, because they have the same schedule and this is his downtime as well. Choso, however, sometimes has clients, in those instances, his call goes to voicemail. He usually listens to Yuji's rambling for about half an hour, afterward, he hangs up, sometimes in the middle of the sentence, and starts getting ready for team practice. The length of that varies based on the coach's plans for the day, but the routine after is all the same. He goes to physical therapy, showers, puts on a sweatsuit, and returns to the hotel. He has lunch, again, the same thing every day, in different variations. He then takes a nap and wakes up two hours before the game. He doesn't even try to memorize his pre-game routine at the arena, because it's insane. From taping his hockey sticks to putting on his gear in a peculiar way, Nanami has seen everything. One thing that stands out during his daily routine is texting you because he does that constantly. Nanami knows it's you because when it's anyone else he's frowning, his expression depicts nothing but disgust. But when it's you he's smiling, he scoffs sometimes, probably because you said something unhinged. Most of the time, he is grinning like a man in love. Nanami considers entertaining the thought that he actually is in fact in love with you, but that would be crazy. Nonetheless, it is clear as a day and without a doubt that he is infatuated by you.
Sukuna's demeanor changes on the last day of the road trip, on the day of their last game in Kyoto. He is agitated, downright distressed. Nanami doesn't understand this sudden change, sure, these last couple of games have been rough on him, the unhinged comments thrown his way by his ex-teammates might have gotten to him, but they didn't seem to bother him up to this point. Something must have happened.
"Dude, stop bouncing your leg, the whole room is quaking!" Satoru whines during team dinner, imploring Sukuna.
"Shut your mouth, Gojo, unless you want to go home to your girlfriend without your dick attached." he bites back with a frightening aura.
"That's enough!" Nanami explodes, grabbing Sukuna by the collar of his dress shirt, and dragging him out. The pink-haired centerman does not fight back, despite the sheer size difference between the two of them. He could easily dominate Kento in this situation, but he refuses to.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" the blonde questions "No bullshit, Sukuna, I can tell that you're on the edge."
His tatted face contorts - the last person he wants to mutter the following words to is standing in front of him. He never talks about his problems anyway, but this is utterly uncomfortable.
"She's ghosting me," he whispers, unable to hold eye contact with Nanami.
"What?"
"You heard me, Captain! Don't fucking try to convince me to repeat myself." he explodes, shaking the blonde's hands off his shoulders, trying to leave the room.
"Why? Did you do something?" Nanami's voice is nothing but emphatic. It makes Sukuna's shoulders deflate as he takes a deep breath.
"No." he says "I don't think so."
"Do you want me to talk to her?"
"No! It's her decision, if she doesn't want to talk to me, I'm alright with that. It's just frustrating. I've been trying to act my best around you to get your blessing, but apparently, it was for nothing. What a pain."
Nanami sees right through his unbothered facade. He smiles, knowing that this idiot in front of him is down bad for his sister. That's why he calls you, to find out why you've been avoiding him.
"Why aren't you talking to Sukuna?" he asks after listening to your rambling about how fun of a day you had with Sophia and how Senna had chocolate milk coming out of her nose from one of Akane's jokes.
"Ugh, he told you about that too?" you sigh in frustration "You know, I really thought he was different, that he didn't talk shit about girls. He despises talking to the team about his conquests and relationships. I thought he would keep this on the down low, at least until our first date. And what does he do? He tells everyone in the locker room the first chance he gets."
"I was the one to question him about it," Nanami explains and your eyes widen "He doesn't talk shit. He only told me, so that I would give him my approval. He didn't want to go behind my back, he basically told me his intentions."
The way Sophia phrased it to you it sounded like Sukuna disgustingly blabbed to the entire team. The information your brother presented to you changes everything, your irritation with Sukuna disappears in an instant, but it's quickly replaced with guilt.
"Is he mad?" you ask timidly.
"Totally livid, downright lunatic." he says, his tone light, which makes you giggle. "Do you like him, Bambi?"
You think about it for a second. For the last couple of days, Sukuna has been nothing but a gentleman. He still annoyed you to no end, but he also sent you good morning and good night text every day. He texted you at every chance he got, telling you about his day, making you laugh at his stories about Satoru and how he loathes him. He listened to you complain about your unfair boss and your new annoying co-worker, about the shenanigans of your cat. He also sent a bouquet of sunflowers to your office, claiming that he finds any other type of flower stupid. "They're useless. At least with these ones, you can pull out the seeds, roast them, and use them for salads." he explains. Even thinking about him makes you smile.
"Yeah, I do like him." you say confidently and Nanami sighs. He cannot argue with that.
"Just text him back, Bambi."
"I will. Is that you giving your blessing, big bro?" you tease, making Nanami hang up the phone without saying goodbye. You laugh and you switch to the Messages app on your phone straight away.
However, Sukuna never takes his phone to the arena, because it's a distraction from his routine. So he doesn't see your message, making him go on a full rampage during the game. He's thrown to the sin bin at least six times for checking his opponents too hard, and he's constantly spewing insults at his ex-teammates, some of them personal, some of them just usual guy stuff.
"Hey Nanami-san! How is that sexy little fox of a sister of yours? I would really like to take her on a ride on my Zamboni if you know what I'm getting at." Mahito, the other team's first-line defenceman chirps the captain, and before Kento can react, he sees Sukuna fly by, with his gloves off, landing a powerful punch to the guy's face. Geto swears that the punch flashes black, which is not surprising, considering he and Gojo have a flair for the dramatic. The pink-haired lunatic lands punch after punch with a ruthless expression. This goes on until Mahito falls to the ice and the referees separate the two. As he is escorted towards the penalty box, Sukuna turns back to the defenceman and deliriously spits at him:
"Know your place, fool!"
Sukuna is thrown out of the game after that. You watch him on television, as he leaves the ice with a smile on his face, seemingly proud of himself for beating a living shit out of someone. But the fight gets the boys going, closing this road trip with a 7-1 win against the Kyoto team.
"Oh, Bambi..." you hear Senna's voice from beside you, a cheeky grin on her face. Sometimes you wonder how Satoru found a girl so similar to him. They are basically the same person, just different gender.
"What?"
"You sooooooo have the hots for Sukuna!" Akane teases.
"I do not!"
"Yeah, you do! But no worries, girl, we've been there. Guys are so hot when they fight." Senna explains.
"Sophia! Please tell these two that they are delusional." you look at your sister-in-law, imploring her to get you out of the uncomfortable situation.
"You are soooooo delusional, Bambi!" you hear her say and Senna starts laughing like a hyena. You huff out in frustration as you grab your phone to check if Sukuna texted you back. As soon as you see the message notification on the screen, a deep blush forms on your face and you cannot help, but smile.
"I will be expecting a warm welcome after getting home, sweet girl. It's utterly disrespectful to ignore someone who's trying so hard to win you over, my fragile little heart needs pampering." his text says.
And warm welcome he gets. On Sunday, at brunch. As soon as you see him step into the cafe, you stand up from your seat, going up to him, embracing his giant figure in a tight hug, whispering how sorry you are for ignoring him. At first, he is stiff, but after a couple of seconds, he relaxes, putting his bulky arms around your shoulders, inhaling your scent.
Nanami watches the whole scenario from his seat, content with the picture in front of him. The two of you arrived earlier, Sukuna insisted that the two of you have the time to catch up as siblings, another reason why Kento is pleased momentarily with his decision. He thinks back to the conversation he had with Sukuna after the game the night before.
"Thank you, for standing up for my sister, but you shouldn't have fought. That was stupid, we need you on the ice, Sukuna!" he scolds the pink-haired centerman.
"That bastard deserved what he got. And you guys did well without me anyway."
"I don't care, don't fight, you moron."
"I cannot make such promises." he grins.
"Can you promise not to hurt my sister?"
Sukuna's jaw drops at the blunt question, but he smiles nonetheless.
"Yeah, I can promise that, Captain!"
"Alright. One bad word from her, one teardrop, one disrespectful comment from you and you're done for, you understand?"
"Yes." Sukuna nods "Thank you, Kento."
However, Nanami regrets his decision during brunch. Because neither you nor Sukuna can keep your eyes off each other, the two of you share the stories of what you've been up to while you were apart, despite talking about them through messages. Nanami never felt so useless as he felt in that moment - third wheeling is truly a chore. But now he understands why you banned Sophia from Sibling Brunch because you felt the same way every time she joined. He feels terrible for only realizing this now, but the damage has been done, and he swears he's not going to push her presence at these events anymore. Nonetheless, Kento is glad to observe the dynamic between the two of you, the banter, the laughs, and the scoffs. It seems so fluid and easygoing as if the two of you knew each other through your whole lives. Sukuna seems so much softer, his rough and downright mean aura is replaced by a smile that reaches his ears, so genuine it's nearly frightening.
"Hey, Ken?" you ask, looking at him with sparkly eyes. "Sukuna and I are going on a walk, is that alright?"
"Sure. Take care!" he says and he embraces you, then shakes hands with his teammate. They have one of those silent conversations that boys have, but Kento leaves without saying anything else, but he makes sure to smile at you, as a sign that he is okay with this.
As you and Sukuna walk down the street to the park, you cannot help but ask him:
"Soooo... Is this our first date?" He looks at you in disbelief, he seems offended even.
"Do you really think that I am sloppy enough to take you here for our first date? I am a gentleman, y/n, this is what 15-year-old boys would consider a date, not me."
"Is that so? Then, when are you gonna take me on a real date?" you tease, but you're nervous that he might have changed his mind since he asked you out. You try not to show that, but Sukuna is perceptive. He knows, but he chooses not to comment on it.
"Really soon, sweetheart. Really soon."
🩵 Tag list: @ichorstainedskin @ureuphoriasworld @new-weather47 @deepchromatose @cvr2mya 🩵
#ryomen sukuna#sukuna fluff#sukuna ryomen#jjk imagines#jjk x reader#sukuna#sukuna imagine#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x you#jjk imagine#jujutsu kaisen imagines#Ren Writes - Sukuna ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
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hi! saw your recent posts and wanted to ask for some advice, if that's okay. I'm a wheelchair user and I really want to get more involved in protests, but I feel pretty out of my depth. A lot of protests seem inaccessible and I just have a lot of questions about how things would work as a wheelchair user. I guess, do you have any tips about protesting as a wheelchair user and how you deal with inaccessibility?
Thank you!!
Hey anon! completely okay to ask for advice about this--I feel very passionate about this topic and am happy to share some tips! disclaimer that not all of the tips I share here are going to be applicable to everyone's situation--even among wheelchair users, we have so many unique situations, types of wheelchairs, health variations, other medical devices, etc etc. and many of us are multiply marginalized, which can also shape our experiences pretty significantly. so i'll share some general tips, and feel free to take what works for you and ignore the rest! most of this is based on my experience in the type of protests I go to in my city, so I also understand that this advice might not be applicable to every type of protest in every location. i've been involved in many types of protests for the past 9 years, from marches to die-ins to encampments, and have dealt with many situations including tear gas, riot cops, police brutality, fascist agitators, getting arrested, and many different types of high risk tactics. i don't want to position myself as an expert or anything, because i'm always learning and growing, but I do just want to share that for context!
I think the first thing I want to say is just to affirm that it is absolutely possible for wheelchair users to get involved in all kinds of protests, including higher risk and escalated protests. I'll focus on actual on the ground protests in this post because that's what you asked about, but know there are many many ways to get involved with organizing if protesting in the streets is not accessible for you. There are many of us involved in these type of actions already and figuring out ways to make it work for us, so you are not alone in that. I won't lie that it can be complicated, there's a lot of inaccessibility, and some shit might not be possible, but a lot of stuff can be made possible if we get creative.
Before the Protest
For me, one of the most helpful things is trying to find out as much information as possible before the protest, so that I can have a really good plan going in. Sometimes this might be more difficult, because there might be legitimate security culture reasons that a march route can't be announced publicly, for example, or specific tactics aren't posted about on social media in order to keep people safe from police surveillance. But when it is possible, this is the type of information I like to figure out:
What is the location? is it a stationary protest like a sit in or an encampment? is it a march? what is the route? how long is the route? are there obstacles in the route? are there curb cuts? is there hills? construction? other barriers? are there easily accessible exit routes? is there pavement, grass, gravel, etc? are there accessible transit stops nearby? are there accessible bathrooms nearby? if it's indoors, are there elevators and ramps?
A lot of times, to find out this information, I look through google maps street view, ask friends, or go in person if i can beforehand. for me, as a manual wheelchair user, I can deal with a lot of of nonideal circumstances such as hills, curbs, rough terrain, especially when I have a protest buddy who can help push me when needed, but it helps to know if i'm going to have to deal with those situations. Often times, protests are held in pretty inaccessible locations. Sometimes, this is because organizers are not considering accessibility which pisses me off, but sometimes, there are legitimate strategic reasons that we might need to protest at an inaccessible location because of the specific circumstances of the protest. (maybe we're even protesting at it because it's inaccessible!) You'll know best about what geographic features are inaccessible deal breakers for you and having that kind of information can help you make a decision about whether it's possible to attend.
What is the risk level? What tactics are being used? Are people intentionally risking arrest? What patterns of repression and brutality are most commonly used by cops in your city? How high is the risk of chemical weapons?
This can be really hard to predict--there's no way to ever say for certain how cops are going to respond and we can't see the future. But paying attention to how cops in your city have been responding to protests and learning the patterns of what types of protests are more high risk can help us make more informed guesses. We can reasonably estimate that a silent vigil in the daytime is likely going to be lower risk than a occupation of a building, for example. And for some of these things--there's no real way to make getting tear gassed an "accessible" experience for anyone, but for some of us, the consequences might be more severe than others. I have a comrade who uses a ventilator who cannot come to protests where we think there's a risk of chemical weapons, so that can be really important information to try to figure out beforehand.
What do I need to practice? Do I need to teach my comrades how to de-arrest a wheelchair user? Do we need to practice lifting me and my wheelchair over a barricade? Do I need to teach my comrades the safest places to hold onto my wheelchair if we're locking arms and moving as a line? Do I need to practice wheelies to get over curbs? How will I plan to protect the electrical parts of my wheelchair from chemical weapons? etc.
For higher risk protests there might be a lot of different tactics that we can use to navigate things like barricades, arrests, facing down a riot line of cops, etc. It is so, so helpful to be able to practice these skills with your protest buddies before a protest, so that when these situations start happening in a chaotic, fast moving environment, you and your comrades are prepared to navigate the inaccessibility that can come with a lot of these situations. You'll know what is possible for you and be the expert on what feels important to prepare for before an action.
2. At the Protest
Navigating a Crowd. To be honest this can be one of the most frustrating things for me to deal with while at protests. A lot of people are not aware of their surroundings, areas will get very crowded with little space to navigate, and people will block my view. The main ways I try to deal with this are by trying to be in the front of a march or on the sides of a march when possible, to try to have the most space to navigate. As we move, I continually scan our location to find the closest accessible exit route, paying attention to where cops are, curb cuts, etc. My protest buddies know that if we're in a middle of a crowd, they need to provide me with updates about cop movements or any other information that I can't see. I get loud and tell people to get out of my way when I need to. I try to stay near other mobility aid users, bike marshals, or people with wagons because they often leave more room for me to navigate.
Roles. There are lots of different roles we can take on at a protest that might make it easier for us to navigate. I sometimes like to join the bike marshals and help block off roads and intersections. Maybe you have medic training and you act as a street medic. Maybe it's more accessible to act as a scout and communicate police movement to your comrades. Other roles could include leading chants, handing out supplies like water and masks, acting as a legal observer, filming the cops, organizing art builds beforehand, etc.
Community. It's been super, super important for me to always go to a protest with a protest buddy so that we can watch out for each other and keep each other safe. Oftentimes, situations can change rapidly at higher risk protests, and we might end up in an inaccessible situation that we didn't plan for. If I don't have a protest buddy, I usually just turn to the nearest person next to me and start saying loudly "I need you to help me exit this situation/grab my handles and get me up this curb/tell me what the cops are doing etc." It can feel really scary and vulnerable to have to rely on complete strangers in these type of situations, but I've found that a lot of people are really willing to help if I tell them exactly what I need from them.
Surveillance. A lot of us really can't bloc up or hide our identities, because our wheelchairs are easily identifiable. This might shape what tactics we use, and also means there might be added surveillance concerns after a protest. When thinking about your own risk tolerance, grappling with the fact we are visible in a crowd is a really important consideration. This might mean we need to be even more careful about security culture, use encrypted messaging to communicate, avoid cameras, stay in a middle of a crowd to block visibility, and other things like that.
Unique advantages. There can be advantages and skills that we bring as wheelchair users! In flat locations and downhills, I'm much, much faster than my comrades who are walking--I can easily pass messages or get in front of a line of bike cops. I can usually carry a lot more supplies on my wheelchair backpack without getting tired. In my city, there's only one cop van that has a wheelchair lift, and at a recent protest where there were multiple of us in wheelchairs, I heard a cop say on their radio that "There are too many people in wheelchairs and we don't know how to arrest them all." In situations where it's logistically difficult to arrest us or the cops think the optics are bad, that can allow us to cause a LOT of logistical delays, act as a front line, get in between the cops and other people, and just generally make the cops lives a little more difficult.
3. After the Protest
Arrests. If we're risking arrest, there's a lot of wheelchair specific information we need to know. Theoretically, under the ADA, cops are supposed to arrest us with our mobility aid and let us have access to our mobility aid in jail. In practice, this doesn't always happen. Cops might arrest us with our wheelchair but then take it away from us in the holding cell, make us use the jail's standard transfer wheelchair instead, or just completely take away our mobility aid altogether. Cops might zip tie our hands so that we have no way to independently move. The cops in your city might have a van with a lift, or might try to get you to fold or disassemble your wheelchair and put it in a standard car. If they don't have a van with a lift and your wheelchair doesn't disassemble, they might have a contract with a wheelchair van company. Once we're taken to a holding cell, there's a lot higher chance we might get put in solitary. We often won't have access to wheelchair accessible restrooms. We might get separated from all of our comrades--at my last arrest, all my other comrades were taken to a location that processes mass arrests, while I was taken to a separate, wheelchair accessible location and held in solitary. It's super important that whoever's running jail support knows these things and can advocate for us and also track us in the system, especially if we're taken to a different location. If your area has a chapter of the National Lawyer's Guild, they often have a designated person running a hotline. It can be super important to memorize that number, and also to reach out beforehand and explain your needs as a wheelchair user if you're risking arrest.
Overall, there are a lot of considerations for protesting as a wheelchair user, and you are going to be the expert on what is important for you! My general approach is that I want to have as much information as possible so that I can make an informed decision about if I want to attend a particular action. Then, when I'm at an action, I expect my comrades to respect my autonomy and support me in making sure that I can participate and that all of us can stay safe.
Also, for any abled people reading this post, I want you to read this very carefully and understand just how many barriers there can be at protests for wheelchair users. You have a responsibility to your community to whenever possible, mitigate these barriers, choose accessible locations, communicate with your disabled comrades, and support us in the moment. If your excuse is that "oh there aren't any disabled people at our protests, so we don't need to think about these things," you're wrong, and this attitude ensures that no disabled people can show up to your protests. and if that's the case, you're missing out on so much meaningful experience and knowledge that your disabled comrades could bring to the table. "We keep us safe" means that we actually work to meet everyone's needs, including the needs of your disabled comrades.
anyway, this turned into a very long post, but any other wheelchair users feel free to add on your own advice! love to share as much community knowledge as possible, especially advice from people who have different access needs than my particular situation.
anon, please let me know if you have any other specific questions that i didn't cover, and best of luck!
#asks#protests#activism#disability#cripple punk#wheelchair user#accessibility#direct action#disability justice#im a manual wheelchair user but several of my comrades are power wheelchair users so i've learned some from them about#what they need. so i have some comrades who it is not possible to lift their chairs up curbs#so we work really hard to always make sure theres curb cuts or alternate routes
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I'm watching too much stuff. And things are not slowing down with all the things coming in September. So I'm gonna try and keep this short. As much as that's possible given the amount of shows.
QL - Currently Watching
🇹🇭 4 Minutes [6/8] - Finally some answers. I haven't read all the theories floating around about this last episode and what it means, but I'm firmly on the side of, there is another alternative timeline, probably from when Tyme is dying at the start of the show, and also very much in agreement with everything @lurkingshan wrote here that these are just imagined do-overs and nothing will actually change in the real world. Which would be my preferred way.
🇹🇭 Addicted Heroin [2/10] - Haven't watched this weeks episode yet. My review for the first two is here.
🇹🇼 First Note of Love [4/12] - I like them a lot. And I like the pacing of this. I love the intro song. But with a second couple being introduced I think I'm gonna get frustrated having to wait a week for a 20 minute episode. I felt that way a lot during Kiseki.
🇯🇵 I Hear the Sunspot [10/12] - I am annoyed.
🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream [7/12] - May the boyfriend era commence. I am enjoying this one. I'm guessing we still have a bit of angst coming and I'm hoping for a good explanation for the dreams.
🇯🇵 Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakutekina Ezuke [6/7] - Just such an incredible show. This week brought the pain and I'm still unwell. As if Frito getting sick wasn't heart breaking enough, that ending left me in tears. I cannot believe we only have one episode left. I am not ready to say goodbye to the three of them.
🇹🇭 Monster Next Door [6/12] - My favourite thing about this is definitely Big. His presence on screen is great. But I'm not fully connecting yet for some reason.
🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [1/10] - It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I know it's not a bl. But it's bl adjacent so it goes here. Also in my head it's gonna be a bl no matter what. Possibly even with a gl side couple. The mind is a powerful thing.
🇯🇵Sugar Dog Life [4/10] - I love Isumi. I really liked that they didn't drag the girl storyline and it served it's purpose. Isumi is now very much aware of it's feelings. I'm looking forward to the date episode.
🇯🇵 Takara No Vidro [9/11] - Takara, my love. This boy has my whole heart. I can't believe I'll have to say goodbye to then tomorrow. I'm bracing for part pain, part happy. Please Japan don't let me down.
🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin [1/16] - I'm waiting to binge.
🇹🇼 The On1y One [4/10] - This show will hurt and I will love every second of it. I really like the look of this show and how we get those little insights into Jiang at the end of the episode. The actors are doing great and I specially love Benjamin Tsang facial expressions. I'm curious to see these two together and how their dynamic will work considering their circumstances. Also, always happy to see the revolving door of cameos Taiwan always grace us with.
🇯🇵Twilight Out of Focus - It's so beautiful. I'm enjoying that we get different couples even if sometimes it feels like we could have more time with them. I like Rei/Shion a lot, but I do miss Mao and Hisashi. 🇹🇭 The Trainee [10/12] - Just to get it out if the way, the Bamhee/Judy storyline was definitely the right call and @lurkingshan was right all along. Also the way the office came together was delightful and it's great to see Pah getting everyone together and once again being the best friend ever. Now. THE OFFICE FLIRTING!!! I was losing my mind giggling like an idiot. I love them. It's pretty obvious at this point that it's mutual and of course Ryan will need to actually be told that, but I still think Jane will wait until the internship is over before confessing or starting anything official. I can't wait to watch all the interns reaction next week. I love it here.
QL - Finished
🇯🇵 Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! - I'm disappointed in this one. It started off so strong but by the end it lost me. I love Hiroko but I feel like they betrayed the character. And that ending with the kiss in the office was ridiculous. Actually most of the end was weird in the way that it seemed to contradict what came before. I like that they finally got together but it didn't feel as good as it could've.
🇹🇭 Century of Love - Started of great and imo fell apart by the end. I don't think it was consistent all the way through and the mythology was all over the place. Daou did an amazing job though. Also Ju is one of the greatest female characters of the year.
🇯🇵 Cosmetic Playlover - Pretty show. Final thoughts here.
🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! - Probably the biggest surprise of the year for me. It's great. I like the development of both couples. Even if near the end I got a tiny bit annoyed with Peak, I really liked the conclusion of it all. Latte is a great character and the very rare slut unjudged by the narrative.
🇹🇭🇨🇳 Meet You At the Blossom - Look it's great that we got a chinese bl, but this was not it for me. Let's hope this one helps get others made though.
🇹🇭Love Sea - It was fine. I enjoyed Mut but in general I just never connected to this show. And Muk annoyed me to no end. I was so happy to see Aya again and now I just wanna forget that she was ever in this and simply remember her as Yiwa.
🇹🇭 SunsetxVibes - I don't even have words. I don't know if it was my lack of attention or if it never actually made sense but I never really got what the mythology was all about apart from inspiring a truly horrendous looking necklace. I was slogging though this one and I guess the finale was fine.
🇹🇭 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - The sides were great, their chemistry was on point. I really wanna see them again. The mains were my favourite thing about Pit Babe but I just didn't like them here.
🇹🇭 The Rebound - I just have to accept that MeenPing will always have bad scripts. They are pretty together but this was a mess.
Dropped
🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up!
Rose Watches OJBL
Pornographer: Spring Life | Playback | Continued Spring Life Finally finished the novelist. Final thoughts.
A LOT of stuff coming this month so if you haven't checked it out, here is the post with all announced upcoming qls for September with a couple of updates that I made today.
As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful week💜
#4 minutes#mitsuya sensei no keikakuteki na edzuke#first note of love#hidamari ga kikoeru#the on1y one#takara no vidro#the trainee#sugar dog life#peaceful property#monster next door#i saw you in my dream#tasogare outfocus#addicted heroin th#ayaka is in love with hiroko#this love doesn't have long beans#century of love#cosmetic playlover#knock knock boys#meet you at the blossom#love sea the series#sunset x vibes#the rebound#the pornographer#rosy watchlist#rose watches ojbl#thai bl#bl drama#japanese bl#japanese gl#ql drama
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my thoughts on this hxh ABCD mess
Being a Togashi fan is such a roller-coaster of emotions. I think I went through all the stages of grief in only one day.
Half of me believes he's trolling.
To be honest, it's better to just take it with a light heart. Togashi is known for joking around about himself, his health and his own story. (I wasn't in the fandom at that moment, but I wonder how everyone reacted when he said everyone was going to die). I consider ending D to be so uncharacteristically him for so many reasons I could talk for hours about it. I find it ironic how he gave a stereotypical-shonen-like ending when he talked several times (even in this interview) about how he likes to surprise himself (and his readers) when he writes. Some other times he explained he likes to play with these shonen stereotypes and just do something different. I mean, he's been doing it since the beginning of his career.
And I'll be honest, ending D sounds like a mockery of shounen.
(And I feel a bit dumb taking this so seriously if he's joking.)
(Though, this also may be the case of "the boy who cried wolf" and he's actually saying the truth this time.)
The other half of me thinks he's being honest.
If he is actually giving us a back-up ending, I find it incredibly sad. Not only because of his health, but also because he felt pressured enough to give us an ending, no matter its form and no matter if it's an ending he doesn't even consider anymore. He shouldn't have been on that position.
It is important to take into account that this is not an ending he wants or even considers anymore, it is an ending we can take if he's not able to finish HunterXHunter. We need to realize there's a lot of circumstances we don't know about or may not be considering for him to give us this ending as an option at that moment. And what type of ending too.
I seriously want for him to be able to finish Hunter X Hunter the way he truly wants, not worrying about anything else. He's thinking about three plausible scenarios that may see the light of day or not. And no matter what he ends up choosing, he should choose whatever he wants. It's his story, no ours. And it may even be his last story (I know it's sad, I want him to keep on writing forever, but it's true). Honestly, a part of me wants him to choose the A scenario because that's where seems to be less drama, but actually I want him to choose the C scenario. Even if that ending is Gon married to a lizard with beautiful lizard-babies in the Dark Continent. And that's because that ending is what he would actually want to do with the story.
(I really am curious about it, though. I know I wouldn't be able to guess even in a million years, but I'm still curious. And I so want to read the whole interview and see the whole episode, since there were more questions about other things.)
For the shippers
I know this feels like a punch in the gut or something even worst. I felt it too. And it's totally valid to feel like we do and not agreeing with ending D. Even as a non-shipper because what do you mean, Gon did what?
Everyone who follows me knows I'm a proud Killugon and Leopika shipper. And I will keep on being one even if Hunter X Hunter transforms into Boruto and I have to see Grandpa Gon (the more I say it, the more it sounds like a joke).
Honestly, I always considered the gay ships were never going to be explicitly canon.(Kishimoto traumatized me). Not because of lack of material, but because there's a whole context and a lot of external circumstances we sometimes forget about (and Kishimoto traumatized me). There was a reason why Togashi couldn't make his queer manga in the 90s, which, I'm sorry, I don't consider it to be that long ago. And there is a reason why he can't explicitly say that characters like Pouf or Hisoka are gay (despite being totally obvious and them being villains).
I still find it admirable how Togashi included so many queer elements in his stories and got away with it. And he's a mangaka that does shonen. And not just any shonen, a battle manga in Shonen Jump. (He included a trans man in Level E and made him transition. The way Togashi explains some things about this character may be a bit problematic, but Togashi still did this). And those queer elements are still there and are still as canon as when he wrote it the first time. Pouf is as gay as he is dramatic. And Ging and Pariston still have that sexual tension (and I'm 100% sure they fucked or they are going to fuck in the near future or both). And Killua is still the queerest boy I've seen in the longest time.
Sometimes, I think there's a possibility of Killugon being canon. But only because of Togashi's history and tastes. He may feel a bit rebellious and just go with it, he's so unpredictable that I'm always expecting anything and everything from him (I mean, he did what he did with Hisoka and Illumi and so many other things). However, he's an introvert, I'm not sure if he actually wants the attention he would get if he actually goes with it. And that is something we should also respect. (I do think the most plausible option is Killugon to be as ambiguous as they are now.)
In relation to ending D, I don't think we should worry that much. At the end of the day, it is an ending he doesn't consider anymore. (At least we can sleep well knowing that the ending he wants to do doesn't have to do with Grandpa Gon). What's important is what he writes and does in the manga. That is what speaks louder than anything.
Though, I do think it's going to be a pain in the ass interacting with other fans. I'm not looking forward to it. (At least they are going to stop saying that Kurapika will die, I hope!). What I'm looking forward to is the new Killugon content in the fandom.
My personal take
Gon =/= Ging. I could say a lot about this, since one of the things I love the most about Hunter X Hunter is what he did with these two and Gon's arc, but I think this is clear enough.
So!
After saying all of this, I think the only thing we should consider as canon is the manga. If he doesn't write it, it didn't happen.
If he's saying the truth, he may be thinking about how to finish Hunter X Hunter sooner or later. Even though so many fans say that they want an ending, I feel like we are not ready. Not even for Gon marrying a lizard and having beautiful lizard-babies in the Dark Continent.
I hope I was coherent enough. I have no answers, only thoughts and thoughts! I feel like we can only speculate and ending D is so confusing because how did we even get there?
I may be going through all the stages of grief again tomorrow, but I wanted to share my thoughts (at least partially). I may erase it if I feel too uncomfortable, but yeah!
Conclusion: Let's just take it with a light heart and wait to see what happens! (I know it's hard).
#i hope this post doesnt grow old badly lmao#togashi is the only one who actually knows what he wants to do by the end of the day#everything can happen#i find it sadly hilarious how i was traumatized by kishimoto found peace with togashi's work and then savage option D appears lmao#hxh#togashi#hunter x hunter#hunterxhunter#hxh manga#yoshihiro togashi#killugon#justxtalking#btw my mom read ending D and didnt like it either lmao#the dudebros can take ending d if they want it I'll just have my leopika wedding with killugon enganged ending
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The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 3: The Only End I Know For Real
Alt title: We're roleplaying the endings, not choosing them.
I've focused a lot before on how sickly sweet the chemistry between Ashley and Andrew is and how unproblematic their relationship would actually be under different circumstances, mostly societal ones. I mostly did so to counter the idea that the incest end was primarily a bad end and bring up the assertion that it was the one with the most hope. In doing so, I basically interpreted all of the text within the game in a very positive light, giving off the impression that I think it'll be all sunshine and roses. The reality couldn't be further from the truth? While I think it's the end with the most hope, I ALSO think it'll be incredibly difficult for everyone involved.
As a matter of fact, I think the Questionable end will be the most difficult one to navigate through for Ashley herself.
"But wait," you say, alarm bells ringing in your head, "doesn't she literally fucking die in the Decay ending?"
And I don't think it's that obvious.
First off, why do I think the Questionable end will be difficult to navigate through? After all, Andrew is calm, collected, and Ashley is just a little bit nervous about how he's changing. She also has that ultimate leverage over him, knowing that he's sexually attracted to her and she can use it to keep him by her side. There's little for anyone to worry about, right? Well, no. Not really. As another analyst has pointed out, in the Questionable ending, Ashley has no OTHER leverage over Andrew.
The trinket? Shown to be only situationally useful to them. The future visions don't always show danger, sometimes the demon can just troll them. Sleep? No, he no longer needs Ashley for that. A scapegoat? Not even that. In the Burial ending, he starts to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no need to pin the blame on Ashley.
Outside of sex, Ashley is more or less useless to him now, at least in her own mind. Truthfully, Ashley is still the most important person in the world to Andrew and doesn't seem to need a reason to keep her around anymore, but Ashley doesn't realize that; it's part of why she's so confused and uncertain. Their dynamic is changing, and she doesn't like it. But in the Questionable ending, all Andrew has to do is not have sex with Ashley (easier said than done if the fanbase [myself] is any indication) and she'll have nothing left. She'll likely have no other choice but to look inward at this point, especially if Andrew doesn't give off any of the usual red flags that make her think he'd leave her.
There's a good chance at this point that their dynamic will flip entirely. Ashley will be the one who needs comfort, and Andrew shows every indication of being emotionally stable enough to provide it. We'll see some Real Mental Illness instead of Possible To Infer But Maybe Problematic To Do So Mental Illness. Whether or not she changes for the better or worse will likely determine the ending we'll get.
…
Except probably not.
Sane vs Questionable can't be THAT different, or we'd be getting 3A, 3B, 3C, and 3D instead of 3A and 3B. And, y'know what? Now I'm gonna start reaching really hard into theory territory rather than just analysis. So, hear me out here.
Both dreams are canon no matter the ending. The only difference is whether or not Andrew sleeps or not; if he does, the vision he gets is for HIM, and Ashley only incidentally sees it. It's much more important to him than to Ashley, because Ashley doesn't get a clear vision like she did in the motel. If them fucking was actually relevant to Ashley, she likely would've seen it no matter the ending. Her reactions reflect this; at first, she appears weirded out, maybe uncomfortable. Then she finds it hilarious. She considers it as a means of manipulation, sure, but the writing is on the wall: She won't NEED to do so no matter what.
Unfortunately, due to her not being able to open both doors, she won't be able to realize this. Oops!
At this point in time it's basically impossible to ascertain what her own personal vision means. I've given my interpretation before, but I ultimately have my doubts that the specific sequence of events is all to relevant. Most weird dream metaphors are clear parallels to past events, but the dream seems to be a metaphor for what the future will hold. The most relevant part is not the ghosts, but instead how Ashley reacts to what is clearly Andrew's soul. She jokes about trapping it in the bottle, but it being as a joke more than anything is a far cry from how desperate her attempts to keep him normally seem. So what gives? What does this mean?
I think, funnily enough, the Decay ending holds the answer.
My most-distanced-from-a-literal-or-metaphorical-reading-of-the-text-but-is-relatively-easy-to-accept theory is that the choices we are given in the game aren't asking us what we want to see from them, but rather, how we see the characters and their relationship. People are distracted by the idea of choice, but the reality is that we're being asked to roleplay (this is an RPG after all) as the siblings and do what we expect them to do. This isn't about choice. This is about BEING them and DOING WHAT WE THINK THEY'D DO.
Here's what I mean.
If we interpret Ashley as having trust in Andrew and his judgment, then it makes perfect sense she'd trust him with her parents. She might be a little worried, but it's pretty clear that her overwhelming desire to keep Andrew by her side is underscored by genuine love and trust. From there, if we interpret Andrew as having genuine love for his sister and a desire to take care of her, then it becomes everyone else's problem that they can't be together; not his. In killing their parents, he comes to terms with this and self-actualizes. He's willing to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no discomfort with dismembering them.
But if you interpret Andrew as viewing Ashley as a burden and a problem, he can't bring himself to save their parents and have a better life because he views himself as too far gone. He hates himself as much as Ashley hates herself for being unable to break free from her influence. He still feels like she's his responsibility, but the love that exists there is greatly muted and overshadowed by his sense of responsibility and a carnal, physical desire for her. Knowing this is likely part of the reason he hates himself; part of the reason he can't let go.
He, crucially, also squanders Ashley's genuine display of trust. It's HIS fault that things break apart, which is why the skull appears over his head when you accept the mom's offer. Ashley genuinely, seriously loves Andrew and wants what's best for him. She's posessive, but her care is a lot less selfish than Andrew thinks, and he can't see that because he's too blinded by his hatred and (partially sexual) frustration to see who she really is.
On the other side of things, if you view Ashley as being a primarily toxic influence that views Andrew as more of an object than anything, she doesn't trust Andrew to deal with their parents and it's HER fault that things break apart, as the skull appears over her head. She sees him as an object, as a child or toy. She sees him as Andy, not Andrew, and can't process the fact that he can change. It's very overbearingly maternalistic, and I believe this specific choice is the only one where Ashley is actually more like their mother than Andrew, eye colors be damned.
In Burial, she wants to share the vision with Andrew, and he wants to share it with her, because their feelings are genuine and mutual and they want to share the experience (because they might get two visions from it, sure, but the principle isn't that much different) But in Decay, she keeps it to herself. She doesn't trust him or his input, either because she doesn't view his feelings as important or because he either almost squandered her trust (if she was listening in), or because he was generally hostile and disincentivized her from wanting to share.
There are other examples too, like when we're allowed to control Andrew to kill the hitman. If we view him as unprepared or unwilling to kill, we empty the whole clip because he's nervous and doesn't want to do this. If we view him as prepared, calm, and in control, he kills in one clean shot without much of an issue. Washing the [REDACTED] out of the shower drain? We basically get to see if Ashley is actually all that competent at housework or not, and if we don't know the right order, neither does she.
This comes to a head in both of the endings.
In the Questionable ending, we're shown that Andrew slept through the dream. We see what he really wants and the depths of his true feelings. He has very obvious romantic feelings for Ashley, and it's not just physical desire. Ashley's very obviously obsessed with Andrew still, but the fact that he can be present in every painting shows that she ACTUALLY views him that way. She's not just seeking validation; her feelings are real, and she knows it.
Remember, this dream is SHARED. We are seeing how BOTH of them feel.
In the Sane ending, Andrew isn't present, and Ashley is never given a chance to view their relationship as anything other than platonic. We don't know how Andrew feels, and we're arguably never given a view into Ashley's true feelings either, because that would-be revelation is cut off by a vision (indicated by eyes). We're just shown what she should do, needs to do, or will do.
Because we don't view their relationship as romantic, light is never shone on the reality of their dynamic. We never see how obsessed Ashley really is (if anything, we're being misdirected by being shown the opposite), and we never see that Andrew has romantic- if buried- feelings for Ashley that can't just be passed off as carnal physical desire. But since it's still the Burial ending, the dynamic still clearly exists; the endings would be too different otherwise. We CHOSE how we see their dynamic in the basement scene.
In other words…
Without love, the truth cannot be seen.
Reader who is in the know: "…hey wait a fuckin' minute" Me: "MOVING ON"
At some point- probably early on- the Sane and Questionable endings have to converge. Andrew and Ashley will have to have the nature of their dynamic laid out for them in a way they can't deny, and the likely only difference between Sane and Questionable will be whether or not Andrew is surprised/embarrassed, or just goes "I guess that dickhead demon wasn't just tricking us after all" and then the route will proceed as normal. Whether or not they have sex will likely be determined by your choices in Chapter 3 itself rather than Chapter 2 with this in mind. Either way, I think Ashley will go through most of the chapter confused and uncertain and will be forced to develop as a person, for better or worse.
In the Decay ending, as said, we're shown that Ashley doesn't even attempt to share a vision with Andrew, so we get to see a vision where Ashley's frame of mind isn't one driven by mutual affection. In this route, we see Ashley constantly running from -something,- and given dreams are metaphors, I think it's reasonable to assume that it's showing us that Ashley is primarily motivated by a fear of Andrew. Fear of what, exactly, isn't really clear; we know for a fact that she's afraid of losing him, but she's also afraid of the violence he can inflict upon her. Either way, she runs away, we can see the demon say "hmmm how interesting," and then we get a vision of the future.
But it's important to note, that vision is a metaphor, not a literal vision of the future. It takes place in the dream world- unlike any other vision, which takes place in the real world- and there are no out-of-frame eyes in the CGs like there are in the Questionable route. Also, (albeit less convincingly), all the eyes are in the background rather than on the map themselves, like they are when we see the hitman vision. The eyes only exist in the background in the Sane vision too, further adding to the idea that they're a metaphor.
So. If it's not a literal depiction of what will happen, then what exactly is it a metaphor for? Okay. Hear me out. This is my wildest fucking theory yet.
It's a metaphor for the Burial route. Or rather, the kind of event that happened in the Burial route.
What we are being shown in the metaphor is a reconciliation of their relationship, where their true feelings are laid bare. We are put in a situation where they are forced to decide how they feel for each other once and for all. If Andrew holds all the power in the relationship but has no control or awareness of his feelings- represented by whether he was composed enough or not to unload his entire clip-, he unceremoniously kills Ashley. Without that awareness, Ashley cannot even defend herself. She has no control because she isn't dealing with someone who has any either.
(Whether he actually kills Ashley or just some abstract representation of Leyley isn't clear, but it doesn't matter much for the purpose of analysis.)
But if Andrew does have that awareness of his feelings- represented by only shooting one bullet- they can negotiate. Because Andrew is in control, Ashley is also in control, and she can make one of two choices:
She can choose to save herself (and either maintain the status quo or just fucking kill Andrew depending on how literal the vision is). With this choice, she lets her fear overtake her and discards Andrew- the cause of her fear- like trash. He is an object that only exists for her sake, after all, and she can discard him just as easily as he seemed like her could discard her during the strangulation scene.
She can choose to trust and accept Andrew. And given a heart appears over her head, she can choose to love him, and overcome her fear, even at the cost of either her life or their prior dynamic (once more, depending on how literal it is).
Decay is asking us if we think Ashley is primarily motivated by selfish fear or genuine selfless love. But both exist either way, and their relationship must be understood and reconciled at some point; this route might honestly be their only hope for a platonic good ending, but it's going to be dismal and painful either way.
So with that in mind, why is the gun not relevant to the Burial route (yet) if it's such a strong metaphor?
Because the reconciling event WAS the basement scene.
We had to make that same choice there. Was Ashley too afraid of Andrew's interaction with her parents to let him handle it? Or did she love and trust him enough to make that choice? In choosing yes, the ball in Andrew's court. If he chooses to care for her needs, their relationship evolves. If he or Ashley refuse make that choice, that can is kicked down the road, and their relationship continues to deteriorate.
Or decay, as it may.
But in Burial, with that reconciling event having happened, the ball is in Ashley's court. With Andrew having come to terms with many of his feelings (minus his sexual desire), most of his arc is finished. There's probably still a lot of him to unpack on the Burial route, but in the Decay ending, as long as Ashley shows love for him, the final choice always falls on his shoulders. And with his final choice having been made in Burial, all that's left is Ashley's.
And what final choice will she have to make?
I don't know, I'm not a prophet.
But either way, she'll still have to make the choice of whether or not to be ruled by her fear of losing him, and desperately try to grasp for control she no longer needs, or cast aside that fear and allow for genuine, mutual love to flourish. Think about it this way: When you see a corpse, how do you react? If you don't care for the corpse or fear it, you stay away and let it decay. If the corpse belongs to someone you love, you tend to it and bury it.
And what do I think the best case scenario is? Well, I've made my opinion obvious, but I think there's one final thing I need to emphasize:
You don't claw at someone's back like a wild fucking animal if you're not really into it.
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I Left My Heart in San Francisco (John Brady x OC)
Summary: John's heart feels a thousand miles and just as many memories away in Stalag Luft III.
Note: Title comes from the song, of course (you don’t have to listen to it while reading, but I listened to it while writing this). Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings: Fluff and angst, mostly introspective. Somewhat non-linear narrative, I guess.
“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” John insisted.
Woody smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“
He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”
Woody braided her hair first thing in the morning, after hastily raking her fingers through it, tugging out any knots that formed overnight. By the heat of the afternoon, enough hair would come loose and stick to her sweaty skin that she’d have to redo her handiwork, already knowing to anticipate the black streaks of grease she’d have to scrub out of it at the end of each day.
Sometimes Holly would be around to give her an intricate and sturdy French braid, able to withstand sweat and hard work. But John had never braided hair before he asked to do hers one evening, and then with increasing frequency as time went on, desperately needing something to lose himself in.
She sat between his legs, still and patient as he ran his fingers through her wavy hair. He parted it in two sections, letting the waterfall of blonde flow down one of her shoulders while he gathered the rest of her hair, silken to the touch compared to the standard blankets and bedsheets they were issued.
A shiver ran down her spine when his fingers gently brushed the nape of her neck.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“You���re fine, honey.” Her voice was soft, almost a low purr that echoed in his ears. He couldn’t remember another time when she called him honey. Usually just Johnny, which sounded wrong coming from other people, even jokingly, since it became hers, but he wasn’t sure how to tell her he liked honey too.
He carefully layered one thick strand of hair over the other until he finished a braid on one side. Looked good, but he knew at a glance he could do better. Woody braided her hair for utility, not just to look pretty, which was a bonus in his opinion, but not her priority.
He puffed on his pipe, shaking his head before setting it aside. “They’re not even. I’m gonna try again.”
“Go ahead, Johnny.”
John stroked her hair, thinking about how he wished they had met under different—better circumstances, where she wasn’t under constant threat of losing him. He used to figure that there was a proper way to get to a woman’s heart, the way god intended, or so he’d been told: meet a nice young lady, ask her father for permission to take her out on a date, get to know each other, bring her home on time. Rinse and repeat while trying not to get too handsy before getting a ring involved.
Then the war happened.
Then Woody happened, who probably wouldn’t have described herself as a nice young lady in the first place. No father to ask permission to take her out on a date. He wasn’t quite sure they actually saved anything for marriage (besides the having kids part, thankfully). He figured god would be flexible, all things considered.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“There’s a knot,” he mumbled, brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully pulled at strands of hair to free them from each other.
“When I was a kid, if I had a really bad knot I couldn’t get out myself, I’d just cut it with some kitchen scissors. My hair probably looked awful.”
He almost instinctively asked why she didn’t ask her mom to brush it out, but felt the slightest bit of rage burn in his chest when he caught himself and remembered. “I care enough about you to do this right.”
“You’re also pretty good with your hands.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“I know so,” she said, “and thank you for always being attentive.”
“Are we still talking about your hair?”
“Oh, of course.”
He snickered, working on braiding her hair again. “Of course.”
Neither of them spoke of the future very much, but he knew he wanted one with her. Just wasn’t sure how to go about the discussion without scaring her off, if she’d even be open to settling down. Settling. The word weighed heavy in his mind. While Woody claimed no nostalgia for her native city, a sad fondness laced her voice when she spoke of it, of the excitement and freedom San Francisco had offered her when she needed those things most. Sometimes John wondered if Ithaca would be enough, if he would be enough when all was said and done.
He swallowed roughly. “Take a look and tell me what you think. Be as brutally honest as you need to be. I can take it.”
Woody half-turned to him, an amused smile spreading across her face. Made him feel like he was being let in on a secret the way her smile sometimes did. “You could make my hair look like a bird’s nest and I wouldn’t tell you.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up. He followed, almost nervous as she inspected her appearance in the small mirror sitting nearby. She beamed at her reflection, turning excitedly to him. “Johnny, it’s perfect.”
She stood on her toes to kiss him, deep and real, the kind that made any lingering doubts dissolve. Her lips were soft, as if she put on lip balm before he got there. Everything about her was soft, except for her hands, always rough and calloused, but something would be wrong if he felt a smooth palm cradling his jaw, or gliding across the expanse of his shoulders, down his back to cling to him. But he was clothed. Or he thought he was. Lost himself for a moment before he found the sound of her voice again.
“Before I forget—” She slipped her hand into one of her pockets. “Here, I want you to have this. I don’t really have any other photos of me, but I wrote a little note on the back of it for you,” she said. Her cheeks flushed, eyes flicking away from him for a moment. “Just so, um, you know it’s yours.”
He smiled at being handed the photo, a little shadowy and out of focus, but her nevertheless. To Johnny, all my love and more, your sweetheart, Woody. She had drawn a little heart next to his name, Xs and Os after hers. “You look beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, the tip of his nose brushing against her skin. “I’ll keep it with me.”
And he did. All the way to Stalag Luft III. Looked at the photo and tried to remember the feeling of her hair between his fingers.
He nearly tore Hambone a new one for taking the photo from his hands without asking, not that he would have let him touch it in the first place even if he had. While far from salacious, having other eyes besides his own on Woody’s photo felt almost sacrilegious. After all, he kept it in the same pocket as the St. Christopher card his mother had given him before he left for basic, its laminated corners curled from his incessant toying with it for reassurance. He hardly looked at it since they bailed. Patron saint of travelers. Some good St. Chris did him.
Buck stepped in and got John his photo back before the situation could escalate further. But the cat was out of the bag. As if it even mattered then, anyway. He did take some pride in everyone’s shock at him and Woody managing to keep their relationship under wraps for nearly four months.
He didn’t expect it to come up again, but he wasn’t exactly expecting Bucky to be alive either. In the midst of Bucky's bittersweet reunion with the other members of the 100th who’d been taken prisoner by the Germans, it was mentioned among the updates everyone was clamoring to give him after he relayed what he could muster of how he survived and ended up there.
Hardly relevant, but Bucky fixated on it after John let one small detail slip out.
“You and Woody? How the hell did I not know this?” Bucky asked.
“No one knew, except for Holly,” he said.
“Holly knew?”
“It wasn’t my idea, but Woody tells her everything. Told her about us the night you two made the bet on that baseball game.”
“That was back in June!" Bucky exclaimed, a strange combination of disbelief and slight betrayal that felt almost out of place compared to everything else going on. "She’s known for four months and didn't tell me?”
“Woody swore her to secrecy or something.”
Bucky shook his head. “You sly dog. Under everyone’s noses…” Clapped him proudly on the shoulder. “Good on you, buddy.”
John smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”
“Don’t expect any details,” Murph mumbled.
“I’m not telling any of you about my sex life.”
“But there was one?” Bucky asked.
He sighed, resisting the urge to glare at his friend, who up until a few hours prior, he wasn’t even sure was still alive. “We didn’t sneak around for four months just to hold hands.”
Even if that was all they’d done, his relationship with Woody wouldn’t have been any less important to him. Still, it was nice to have actual experiences to pull from, build fantasies that could get him through some of the lonelier nights when he wished he were with her, just about anywhere in the world but Stalag Luft III. The four months that were all theirs became his lifeline.
Four months. Maybe that was long enough for him to ask her to marry him. After writing to his family, that’d be his first order of business. Woody already had his heart, so he’d promise her everything else on top of that he could think of. Let her point anywhere on a map and take her there on a month-long honeymoon. Move all the way out to San Francisco with her. If she said ‘no’ or sent the letter back unopened, at least he could say he tried.
He laid back on his bunk that night, doing his best to ignore the shouting outside. Like the night guards did it on purpose to keep them exhausted. Closed his eyes. Kept her photo pressed against his chest. Tried to remember what her hair felt like between his fingers. Silk compared to the threadbare blankets the Germans gave them for the rapidly approaching winter.
“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” he insisted.
She smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“
He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”
#john brady x oc#john brady#masters of the air x oc#masters of the air#mota x oc#mota#mota fanfic#hbo war#hbo war fanfic#hbo war x oc#ch: woody
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I feel as though the language of accommodation is backwards in so many cases. Especially in regards to covid, I’ve started reframing things in my head. I am constantly accommodating other people; treating their disability to deal with reasonable daily decision-making and the existence of chronic risk with kindness and empathy, reacting to their defensiveness and hostility about my continued use of and advocation for masks, ventilation, and regular risk assessments with measured responses that mask the rage and helplessness I feel about the apathy of ableism, communicating about my household’s needs in the softest possible way, reacting compassionately when people who have stopped taking any kind of precaution complain that their health has worsened in the long term or their most recent bout with covid has cost them income (even when these people have continually judged my choice to take precautions), being endlessly patient when people invite me (or try to pressure me) to attend risky indoor gatherings instead of saying “you know I can’t do that. Nothing has changed since the last time I had to say no. You could always invite me to something I don't have to say no to.” Ignoring so much cognitive dissonance and self-delusion. Opening as many windows as possible so we all have a better chance of staying healthy. Apologizing constantly about continuing to protect myself and others so that people get off my case about it and can continue living in a fantasy of post-pandemic normality.
I don’t, anymore, think I’m the fragile person in this situation, and I have realized how much this rings true for other ways in which I have navigated the world prior to the pandemic. Bringing my notes and printouts to doctor’s appointments so that doctors don’t have to properly do their jobs. Bringing my partner so doctors don’t have to look past their own misogyny and ableism. Masking physical pain so that others don’t have to feel bored or distracted by it. Masking my expressions of joy or sorrow or wonder when they don’t conform to norms. Tip-toeing constantly around a passive aggressive regional culture of toxic positivity rather than communicating frankly and directly in the manner that has always been more natural to me (for both nurture and nature reasons) to reduce friction for everyone else.
I’m really going to urge other people who find themselves marginalized or othered in some way: how are you accommodating the people who fail to accommodate you? Not just “what accommodations do you need?” Or “how are you being or not being accommodated?” What have you been doing to make everyone around you more comfortable, and how much of that is actually serving you? Some of it may, and some of it may not. How much work are you doing to unburden people of their own consciences? If no one else sees it, can you, at least, take a moment to look it in the eye?
I'd guess this is true of any condition of life (and by condition I don't mean illness, just "a mode or state or being" or "existing circumstances") that is somehow considered non-normative in its context. If you are an immigrant or you live in a racist or xenophobic culture of which you are the target, if you are a woman, if you are fat, if you are gay, if you're an effeminate man, if you are ill, if you are old, if you are deaf, if you use a wheelchair, etc. I know you've experienced something similar to the labor I'm talking about. "Accommodation" is the word we use talk about things disabled or differently abled people need or deserve to have in order to allow them to navigate an ableist world. Practically this language has sometimes been helpful to me – in getting care, in forcing professors into basic ADA compliance by not stuffing me in an overcrowded, unventilated room with 100 unmasked (frequently contagious) people, in allowing me time to catch up after I've been so ill I can't move, in providing spaces where people like me can sit and catch a breath – but increasingly I see it as something that isn't uni-directional, not just something I'm receiving (or fighting and failing to win) but something I am constantly, endlessly doing without acknowledgement, and which, if I ever stopped doing it, would invite serious penalty. I don't know how to change that except by talking about it.
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Spiderman Noir With a Superman Anomaly Reader
Stumbling into Noirs universe was a complete accident. You were doing some simple patrolling when you stumbled upon a weird portal, of course you did the responsible thing and reported in to Bruce. Telling him about your findings and from his mic you could pick up your uncle Kal, yelling about no matter what, don't go messing around with it until they arrive to check it out. You tease him a little about it, saying how you’re not that stupid to mess with something you know nothing about by yourself. Of course you’re above simple mistakes…such as tripping on your own cape, managing to get sucked into said other wordly portal.
It’s very easy for Noir to spot you because of the weird getup you’ve got going on. I honestly think one of his first instincts would be to web you and investigate what/who you are. But upon being webbed you manage to break them, brushing them off as you concerningly ask what the fuck was that. He’s a bit perplexed after that because there’s no way you got out of his webs that easily. You don't seem like an initial threat at first but he keeps his guard up in case. You explain your situation with the whole portal, of course skipping out on the tripping part because he doesn’t need to know that. After his whole ordeal with being in another dimension he knows your telling the truth and loosens up a little.
The two of you are sitting on top of a building ledge as the both of you exchange different information about each other's universes. He admires that the symbol on your chest stands for justice and truth, happy that the people in the universe have heroes like you to protect them. Noir probably also makes a comment about how you don’t wear a mask and he truly feels your dedication to being a hero to others when you say you want people to trust you. Noir finds your attitude interesting, considering how bright and fun you contrast to his monochromatic world. He’s 100% amazed by what you can do, comic books are barely becoming a thing in his time and age but you’re exactly what he imagined they’d be like. He’s really curious as to what you can do, and doesn’t believe half of them. He’s a little suspicious when you say you have laser vision but he’s not willing to take the risk of you showing him, simply brushing it off by saying “Okay okay I believe ya, now put those eyes away before someone gets hurt.” Once he knew you could fly and had super strength he let the best get to him and asked if you could lift him.
Of course always eager to show off you flew up and picked him up by his underarms. He knew it was coming but seeing you actually fly and lift him up is still something that could startle anyone. He lets you have your fun for a little bit before asking to be put down and you agree, fixing his hat on his head. Noir eventually asks you if there’s any way for you to get hope and you simply pop out with a nope. He murmurs to himself for a bit to see if there was a way for him to help you, so far your circumstances were different that his, and he was sure there was no one in his dimension trying to open any other dimension portals so this just must’ve been a fluke of nature.
He invites you to stay with him until you somehow get home, in return all he asks is that you help with his crime fighting. He totally admires you even more once the two of you get down to business, throwing in a few compliments on your form here and there as he lands a punch. After a while of getting to know each other he’ll help you blend in properly by letting you borrow his own things since this motherfucker is built like a brick. He’ll have you wear his coat + hat when you’re out in public. Sometimes he’ll catch himself staring too much at you in his clothes but in my head he resembles that one joke that's “I’m probably nonbinary but I have a job so idrc about that rn” except how he’s totally gay for you.
Once Bruce finally manages to get you back, you were out doing normal things with Noir before you get dragged into an alleyway. Of course Noir senses this and follows behind. Seeing a man who looks like you along with a man in a batlike costume. He ask if this means you're finally going home, Bruce says its where you belong and hurries for you to follow along through the portal. You ask him if he wants his coat back but he insists that you keep it, saying that it'll be a memory of the two of you.
"Will I ever see you again?"
"I don't know."
#spiderman noir#spider noir#itsv x reader#into the spiderverse x reader#istv x male reader#into the spider-verse x male reader#into the spider verse#male reader#x reader#spiderverse x reader#spiderverse headcanons#I want this brick built man so bad#tbh i dont read the comics...maybe i shoudl idk all i do is fucking look at personality deep dives and read shit lmaoo#but i want him so bad its insnae#he is going on the list of men i will turn into my wife#homophobia be dammed this mf fine as hell
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OC tober Day 18: Swap
Today Ziri is the ghost and Talia is the tortured pawn of Shar!
Swapped their palettes and gave them both a makeover to fit their new roles. I preserved the ruffles and bow from Ziri's usual look but she gets way more exposed skin since she never developed her fear of touching people. Talia gets a whole new kit, a new class (paladin) and a big ass sword! Since she's a more martial character now, she also gets a haircut. Between them is a special crest representing Talia's deal with Shar >:]
Read on for heartbreak... tragic lore below the cut XD
Since Talia is the one who actually had some magic developed before "the incident" I don't think she would have become a cleric like Ziri does. Instead, she'd still have her 2 levels in Circle of the Moon druid but after that she'd start taking paladin levels with a customized Oath Breaker path.
I'd also change the circumstances of "the incident" so rather than a failure of using magic, it's a fatal miscalculation.
They had set up an extermination job of some sort and Talia insists they do it under the light of the moon, her Goddess, Selûne. She's wild-shaped as a bear waiting for Ziri to herd their quarry into the chokepoint. The full moon seems as bright as the sun. Talia hears the creature approaching, running toward her--she readys her strike. A cloud passes over the moon as she springs into action and for a moment she's blind, but she feels the impact of flesh and knows she's made her kill.
When the moonlight returns... there is blood on her hands and Ziri's small form crumpled before her.
It's this rage and despair and guilt that attracts Shar's attention. She says you poor child of the moon, look how my sister has betrayed you. What will you do? And Talia knows that her purpose is to kill a god.
Shar would end up offering Ziri as a way to exert control over Talia, a kind of failsafe on a loose cannon. Talia would accept because vengeance is great but part of her knows deep down that truly, she alone is to blame for Ziri's death, and taking on the burden of Ziri's ghost would punish her for that great sin. (She failed to consider that it would punish Ziri as well. They have this is common.)
Ziri would react differently to being brought back as a ghost. Rather than the rage and outward resentment that takes Talia sometimes, Ziri would hold it in and shut down. She would also test the boundaries of their link more, trying to avoid the pain and conflicting emotions by getting as far away from Talia as she can. She has no shapeshifting ability, but I'd let her maybe have a mist form. Exists in the setting and a vampire trait... yeah, definitely mist form.
She'd less resent being brought back without a choice and more chafe at the tethers. I think she would gladly accept the negatives to her ghostly existence if it also meant freedom. She wants to go see her family, to haunt the cottage they lived in, to float through the forest unafraid and invulnerable and able to soak up every scrap of the world in her own time. But that's not what she got. She's a dog on a leash.
Oh! In this version, just love by Lubalin is their main anthem. The lyrics i watched you go/ when i needed you the most really hits different this time around.
Ah geez roleswap au might become a real thing alskfjjdksk im kinda obsessed now!! blorbos from my brain fr fr
[Edit: I cleaned this up a little in the morning when I wasn't dead tired and blurry eyed. :)]
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you should tell me your thoughts on one steven s stevenson from hit game dayshift at freddys (imagine that one proud tiktok emoji with the spiky hair here) go boy (gender neutral) !!! yap!!!
the fact i know exactly who this is ...... ur the steven fan forever. godspeed
BUT !! steven is just so fascinating to me. he suffers a bit from originating from dsaf1 which is the most satiric and parody-esque of the games so most of his legitimate characterization is often taken from dsaf3 but! i think there's still something to be pulled from what we have! namely his whole "sweep it under the rug" idea and how it contrasts with his entire thing with peter! because i find it really interesting how steven reacts to deaths in general honestly and how it differs based on circumstances.
for one, prior to him becoming a phoney, there's how he reacts to henry's murders. one thing that always stands out to me is that his priority is mentioning henry has effectively disrupted the workflow and killed paying customers more than it is... y'know... henry murdered children. while i do think he definitely feels stressed and upset about the fact Kids Died in some form, his main way of expressing this is through a corporate lens, and it's always given me the impression that even before becoming a phoney, steven was kind of firm on company policies. it's probably a part of why steven sticks so hard with his scott identity and refuses to let it go, even begging jack to not make him remember his own name, compared to harry, who is reluctant and doesn't consider harry as himself but overall is more willing to accept he isn't scott, at least. regardless of how much steven remembers of his past life at any given point, the AI kind of works all too well with his existing identity, so of course even when his real personality shows it just kinda... blends.
and then there's peter's death! we hear of this from one of the company logs in dsaf3, but we also get to see the aftermath of peter dying and steven sending him off in a cutscene seen in the dsaf marionn-ending. steven treats this as natural of a progression as harry does with steven's death, joy of creation, etc etc. however, as steven is leaving, he apologizes to peter, saying he hopes peter can come to forgive him. and that's WILD !!! because that is almost for sure not what phone guys should be doing -- as far as they seem to be programmed, this should be what they want, given harry doesn't apologize to steven on screen and also advocates for phoney-fying the springlocked employee in dsaf3 if you get that cutscene (i need to trigger the scene for myself so i can show screenshots. maybe sometime this week). we get further confirmation that phone guys shouldn't be discussing the phoney-ing process in the notes on steven's recording about peter's death, given it literally says steven was decommissioned for that -- i personally headcanon he wasn't actually but like. regardless. steven defied company policy over this death specifically and then shoved the RAT suit in a backroom where nobody was allowed to go near it. so his feelings on this are clearly a lot stronger than they were in life or than they are in any subsequent deaths. it's so interesting.
lastly we come back to what i can pull from dsaf1 (well... one of the things. i have thoughts and interpretations on some of the sillier stuff too)! which is when steven finds the bloody suits and immediately hops straight to figuring out how to cover it up. it's practically instinct for him to sweep it all under the rug, and he very easily picks jack and hesitates not in the slightest at executing a plan to make this all go smoothly. he expresses some pretty intense emotions about this in the flipside's layer 3 so it's probably safe to say this was something that was weighing on him a lot, or at the least he's reasonably surprised jack would try to save him when it's something that he feels was so awful, but steven still shows no hesitation in the follow through when he's actually doing it. he never apologizes or pauses the way he does when sending peter to the factory, he just... does it. it's how the world works, to him. and the phoney process is part of this, too, but clearly he exhibits some degree of hesitancy over it. i don't have many deep thoughts on what this distinction means presently, it's just curious.
overall for how steven typically behaves, which is uptight and too-serious at best and downright cold and aggressive in his hastiness at worst, the differing reactions he has on deaths or the notion of his OWN death are just so interesting ?? it's something i NEED to study more at some point and figure out what the distinction is beyond the potential "he is a phoney and doesnt like being one" which feels simplified given his feelings on being himself vs being scott. he's soooo interesting
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To think about it, the reason why I love Prey so much is because you get to see jegulus relationship from a different pov.. I don’t know how to describe this but it’s like watching it through different lenses which you don’t get to realize in their pov. Like in Harry’s pov we get to see a “new” parenting, domestic jegulus that sometimes fights but Harry doesn’t really know why. It’s just so precious and I think it makes their relationship 10 times sweeter😭😭 mere you are just so talented at writing these🤧
AW that’s sweet actually. Like how often do we get like 15 years married but still a little temperamental and angsty jegulus 🥲 like they’re domestic and cute but they also have a lot to fight about and Harry seeing them as his parents who raised him so warmly but also as two people who had a relationship before him that he doesn’t understand. And this will be a thing actually! I think it’s realistic actually with couples who have a kid because your life revolves around that kid (not to mention the damn war and Voldemort in this case which complicates things) and it’s easy to prioritize your child and put the relationship just between the couple in the backseat for the sake of raising a child. Especially considering the circumstances of prey jegulus which I’ve alluded to, they were broken up and came back together for Harry’s sake. So regulus may or may not need some reminding that James loved him before Harry too…
ANYWAY I could really go on about them bc Prey jegulus is something special to me, but I’ll start spoiling things 😭 stop me 🤚
Tysm!!!!
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I saw the meta you did on bail about his adoption of Leia, and i dont mean to sound rude, but i feel you ran into a problem of holding a character accountable for the writer's mistake. Like, I dont think that Lucas remebered padme's family when writing ROTS, and thats not saying you can't, but it feels a tad unfair to me to consider what Bail did kidnapping
That’s understandable. I agree that it is reductive and disregards Bail’s courage and good intentions to dismissively call Leia’s adoption kidnapping. I fully recognize that there is nuance in the situation. The circumstances were far from ideal. When I use the term “kidnapping,” it’s not to bash Bail. It’s to examine how the grieving Naberries might view things, given they were left in the dark.
It’s quite possible that this decision is an example of a character (or characters) suffering from a writing or direction choice or mistake. I simply prefer to take a “Death of the Author” approach. I can speculate on what Lucas intended, but I deal pretty much exclusively with what I was given. The story is what it is.
Within this context, I actually respect Bail for doing what he did. It takes guts to risk your life to protect a child. He didn’t have to. He wasn’t obliged to. He could have used his influence to help find a different home, or just not gotten involved at all. In the Organa’s position as wealthy and influential royalty, they easily could have adopted a different, safer child. I respect Bail for his courage in opting not to do that.
What I see happening here (in-universe) is that the Jedi are accustomed to making decisions regarding placement for Force-sensitive kids. They don’t know the Naberries, but do know Bail. Naturally, they turn to him and trust him.
As for Bail, he is also accustomed to the Jedi making these choices. Plus, (in the novelization, iirc), he promised to help Padme if she needed it, given the risks she was taking for the cause. He likely viewed offering to adopt Leia (with Jedi approval), as a natural extension of that.
I view it as unfortunate that there were flaws in the system that Bail and the Jedi were accustomed to that they neglected to inform the Naberries. This perspective doesn’t negate Bail’s courage or integrity. It makes him a complex person with admirable traits who is sometimes blinded by privilege. It makes him interesting and it makes him human.
Hence, I really don’t think I’m harsh or unfair to him. I credit and respect him for making brave choices. I may disagree with the way some decisions were made, but I don’t think the people making them were bad people. It’s an imperfect galaxy; we do the best we can.
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One of the things I love about Limbus' Abnormality encounters, besides how cool the designs are, is the way the game uses them to tackle the topic of performative empathy vs actual empathy.
You can't just try to fix an Abnormality's core problems and expect it to work. And it's not because the Abnormality will attack you before you get the chance to do anything, rather, following this approach is a consistent way to hit your own party with demerits due to the simple fact that YOU ARE THE ONE HURTING THE ABNO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Trying to remove the Umbrella Fox's umbrellas is incredibly painful for it because it involves tearing off chunks of its flesh, mimicking the Weeping Toad's cry will cause it to flee because what it actually wanted was someone who would listen, removing the brambles will make the Bride and Groom sad because it means you are destroying their home, giving water to a blazing metal bull obviously isn't going to help, etc.
Your intentions can be good, but as the Umbrella Fox itself puts it, solutions without "forethought" have the potential to be incredibly harmful.
Which brings me to the similarities this has with IRL ableism, and how often body-abled people will tell you to do X thing under the claim that it will help you feel better (or even cure you) without considering the implications of their own suggestions for a single second. Some wonderful examples of this are telling someone with a respiratory disease or injury to just "take a deep breath", telling a person with chronic fatigue to "go jogging, it will give you more energy" or recommending to an autistic individual that they "learn common sense".
I'm sure you can imagine yourself (or know from first-hand experience, sadly) the rest of horrible 'magical solutions' disabled people have to hear on a regular basis, so back to the point, this type of acts share the same kind of impulsive and patronizing empathy as the "help(?) this Abnormality" choices in Limbus Company.
Not only do they not help anyone at all, in reality they are an active detriment to the physical and emotional wellbeing of the target you are supposedly trying to help with the action. In the end, the only benefit obtained is that you get to say you TRIED to help someone, hence the performative part of this behaviour, it makes you look good to others and to yourself by awarding you some imaginary reputation points that mean nothing.
Now it's very possible that you are thinking (or not) something about the lines of: "But hey, I unplugged the electric sheep being sacrificed to fuel a city, and I also sprinkled water on the tree suffering from a drought, I did have success helping a handful of the Abnos!".
This may appear to contradict my logic as described above, but I want you to consider a key difference between the Abnormalities the game does let you help and those for whom trying to do so is an insult. The former group suffers from external circumstances that can be changed through concrete actions, the latter faces permanent issues because of the very way they are.
So on the first camp;
-The Electric Sheep doesn't suffer because it's electric, it's suffers due to being exploited for energy.
-The Desert Twiggy Ghost Tree doesn't suffer because it's allergic to water, it suffers because it doesn't have access to any water.
-Similarly, the Electric Centipede only suffers because people are experimenting on it and you choose how to torture it.
You can liken them to disabled people with low-support needs, whose difficulties would in theory go away once you implement a social model of disability because the problems they face are, as the name implies, mainly social.
Now, contrast this with how for example, removing the brambles from the Rose Thorns Cross involves destroying its very body, and you should notice the theme Limbus is trying to convey through these encounters; Nobody is the same.
Sure, jumping the gun may work sometimes, if the problem is small enough to be dealt with through individual action, but more often than not the reality of what the other person is going through is so different from yours that an attempt to force your own experiences and judgement on them is only going to result in pain, and what's worse, pain for both parties if you genuinely were trying to help.
Which is not to say there's no point in desiring to offer help, my favourite part about how Limbus handles its event choices is that it teaches you a lesson about the value of simple understanding.
Tearing off its umbrellas won't help the fox, but going past its threatening appearance to show that you care by petting it will, the same goes for the gloomy frog that is so grateful to you for listening to its woes that it leaves one of its eyes behind as a gift. You don't need to change the Abnormalities' nature as Abnormalities to make them happy, being there for them and accepting them as they are is more than enough.
I could write more about the parallels between Abnormalities as a group of "non-humans" that go against the general idea of normal while existing solely to be exploited for resources and the way IRL disabled people are exploited by doctors and pharmaceutical companies for easy money while society at large doesn't care, but in the end the message is simple, imagine a world where instead of treating them like children or even complaining about them, abled people showed those with disabilities this type of empathy, the real type.
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Greetings!
If I may ask, what delineates an interesting natural find in the woods or river and a find that is a gift from a spirit?
How does one tell the difference?
I often find hagstones, calcite, and quartz geodes in just about every waterway I've come into contact with (albeit, nearly always after asking) and while I would love to believe that I've somehow interacted with the local water spirits, there always lingers a doubt within me that maybe I'm just lucky, or good at spotting patterns and I don't realize it. I a similar fashion, as of late, I've been stumbling upon whole, pristinely preserved white snail shells during my wanderings in the woods (again, usually after being struck by a sudden urge to move a specific pile of leaves, picking up trash, or being moved to place a different shiny in a specific location). It just strikes me as strange and wondrous that such things seem to happen in this manner for me, and I'd honestly like to know if my experiences are mere chance or if they are encounters with the Other.
On this note, what can one do with a surplus of hagstones and what are the uses of stump/tree hollow water? I recently "discovered" such a hollow in a tree I've frequented many times before but somehow never noticed the hollow in the trunk. I feel I'm supposed to collect water from it for something, but I'm not sure what.
Thank you again for your time!
That's a good question, though it can't exactly be satisfying answered in a one-size-fits-all sort of way.
For me, personally, I generally tend to consider something a Spirit Gift if it comes to me one of four ways.
The first is when I explicitly ask my Spirit Kith for help locating something and then end up discovering it within a reasonably swift window of time following my entreaty.
Secondly, I will sometimes find something I've been looking for in a particularly strange place or especially well-timed way, and it's hard to overlook those cases, even if I didn't specifically entreat a numinous entity for assistance.
Thirdly, I occasionally find something entirely by chance that I wasn't actively looking for, but which is so striking or unusual to find that I suspect that "hand" of the spirit world.
Finally, sometimes I'll find something without thinking much about it, only to discover later that this item is exactly what I need for a given ritual or magical operation.
As the circumstances I listed above descend in order from 1 to 4, it becomes less clear whether something is definitely a spirit gift or not. But in the end, I often choose to simply view it as such with gratitude, and leave offerings to cover my bases. In situations where it does prove important to know whether I've really gained the attention of a spirit or not, I use divination to clarify
As for your last additional questions: There is plenty you can do with a surplus of hagstones; you could incorporate into spellwork, you could use them to make amulets, you could gift them to others, or you could simply collect them. And I actually have articles on my website that talk about both Stump Water and Hollow Water.
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