#will eat anything you put in front of them

[slut-for-free-will]

eltingville club headcannons (x reader)

✿˖˚ ༘𐙚 > // my headcannons for the boys + if they were romantic with you. I tried to make it relatively gender neutral on your part, but Bill is written as x fem reader.

wordcount: 4933

rating: medium -> mature-ish (some parts are freaky *cough bill and Peter DiNunzio*)

warnings: unhealthy relationships (ESPECIALLY Bill), themes of child neglect, cursing, misogyny, Bill Dickey, Pete Dinunzio

Jerry

Jerry’s grades are decent, mainly B’s and B+’s, an occasional A.

His parents aren’t really present in his personal life.

Use to get bad anxiety as a kid, especially when his parents fought.

Who am I kidding Jerry still gets heavy anxiety.

Horrible poker face.

Before he even knew your name, the slightest glimpse of you would make his cheeks tingle and butterflies flood his stomach. 

When he’s nervous his palms will HEAVILY sweat (When you first start dating, you can’t hold hands bc they’re lowkey slimy)

His room is clean-ish, no garbage overflowing his trash can or anything, but Jerry’s not very organized.

Papers of loose ideas, DnD dice, pencils, and the occasional figurine or magazine litter the floor.

He also liked eating snacks in his room, but he got lectured by his mom upon getting ants and was forced to stop.

The first time he knew you were coming over he PANICKED.

When you went into his room you were surprised — Jerry didn’t seem like such a clean and orderly person.

His bookshelves are crammed with fantasy books, though (he's been dying to read them, but has trouble focusing on pages of a book; most of the time he vies for watching TV and movies)

Thank god you didn’t open the closet — a flood of figurines, comics, magazines, books, plushies and everything else under the sun would have buried you both.

Speaking of plushies, Jerry sleeps with them. They crowd his bed.

And he didn’t invite you to enter his room, you just sorta stumbled in there accidentally (if you had  waited for an invitation it would never come — he was way too nervous to offer you into his room).

I feel like his love language would be words of affirmation.

As much as live action is cool, Jerry loves 2D animation much more.

Pretty insecure about sharing his ideas for stories and whatnot. He's nervous about getting insulted — even something small is enough to keep him awake at night.

When you first let him tentatively share a new concept for a DnD plot and praise him for it, his brain short circuits.

Now he's way more than just head over heels. He’s like. Soul and mind over physical plane of existence if that makes sense.

He would die for you, is what I’m saying.

If you have any story ideas/paracosms/OCs, he would LOVE to hear you yap abt them. Since you’re both creative, you might just hang out and worldbuild together.

Loves reading high fantasy books to you

If you read to him his heart would explode (I'm not joking) (this also helps him read the books he's been meaning to get to)

Will actually die if you take him to a ren faire. Will fade to dust if you dress up with him.

If you weren’t into DnD, Jerry would want you to get into it SO BADLY. But he would never push you (even offhand interest would make his heart backflip)

Loves to put inside jokes you two share into his DnD plotlines as easter eggs for himself (even if you aren’t at the club meetings 99% of the time)

Speaking of being there…

He doesn’t like it when you hang around the club (or if you’re even in close proximity with those freaks) and absolutely bars you from following him to their sessions.

The closest you’ll get is maybe a walk to Bill’s front porch.

Most of the time, Jerry does anything he can to avoid you and the members of the club interacting.

Despite all your love for each other, he wouldn't try and stick up for you if you were bad-mouthed by the rest of the club members.

Jerry probably wouldn't tell you what they're saying, either.

He gets so scared you'll stop liking him because of his company, maybe become a victim of their attention, or possibly even leave him.

And god forbid if you ever broke up.

He'd fall into a deep spiral of depression, but wouldn’t ask for help or try and get back together.

Jerry’s one to self blame and retreat inwards; every time you'd get into an argument, he would find some way to lay the blame on and/or isolate himself.

You have to apologize first.

Josh

Gets good grades, but has to put in effort. His family values education quite a bit.

Cat person (would probably dress up his cats if he had any)(his family doesn’t have pets).

Blind as a bat without his glasses, and takes good care of them. 

Josh is actually a pretty organized person. His room itself is quite clean, but his desk is cluttered with everything from candy wrappers to half-built figurines.

Uses emoticons instead of emojis.

Listens to podcasts most of the time. In terms of music, he doesn’t really have a set music taste. He says he loves whatever you’re into, though.

On occasion, he’ll stay up late, but Josh is pretty good about having a normal sleep schedule.

Hella scared about opening up personally, but yaps to death about whatever sci-fi thing he’s interested in.

Josh has a few main interests (Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate, etc.) but beyond that, his outer interests change every week.

One day he’ll be reading a series about warring aliens, the next giving a ted talk on several different space technologies.

Probably reads a lot – and fast, too. (If the club found out about this they’d call him a nerd) (but they’re ALL nerds so that insult doesn’t really go anywhere)

Josh the typa guy to kick his feet and blush into his pillow like an anime girl when thinking about you.

Also the typa guy to think about his parents funeral at 2AM in the morning and start sobbing.

When you first meet, you’re in the library, browsing for a book.

You overhear loud whispers — insults, laughter, and angry comebacks.

As you inch closer, you spot four figures jeering in between the bookshelves. You can’t really recognize them from your spot, hidden amongst the books, but you realize they’re… making fun of someone.

It’s not long before three of them shuffle off, leaving one behind.

You emerge from your place between the shelves, ask if he’s alright.

It’s honest and sweet.

Josh has never been talked to like that.

Soon enough, you’re thriving in his dreams – swooping in to save him from the club’s torment. As time drags on, the club’s appearances in his dreams lessen – instead, it’s just you, you, you.

He asks to hang out often; he’s a quality time fan (can get clingy, expanded upon later)

Josh will get elated if you let him vent – or even just listen to anything he says. All you have to do is just sit there, really.

He’s bothered by comments on his physical appearance, but they don’t typically get to him as much as they used to.

You, on the other hand – your comments would have an effect. He'll brush it off, but think about it later (and by think, I mean have an existential crisis).

Josh gets really insecure when he’s around you.

And he spirals easily; it’s hard for him to keep a cool head.

If you leave him for a moment while hanging out in some public place, a rush of thoughts will flood his head (What if you abandoned him? What if you don’t like him anymore? What if this relationship is just one big joke, and he’s the butt of it?)

You find yourself having to reassure him that your relationship is legit.

Hangouts can be anywhere from your room, to his room, to the park, to honestly even the grocery store.

Prefers being able to see your face — wouldn’t go to a movie theater with you (unless they’re playing some movie he’s really excited to see).

Would love you forever if you gave him a collectible that he’s missing in his collection.

Josh doesn’t get a lot of praise or things he likes in his life – even the smallest passing comment gives him something to smile at for the rest of the week.

He can get really clingy, though. Like SUPER clingy.

He wants to spend as much time as he can with you — every possible moment he has, spending time with you is amongst his top three things of stuff he wants to do.

Josh calls you at least once a day, walks you to every class (even if it makes him late), and wakes you up in the middle of the night through a call or text to ask if you’re ok (he had a dream where you got hurt).

Like Jerry, he doesn’t want you hanging around to the club — but his feelings are way more extreme.

He despises, DETESTS you being anywhere within 100 miles of any of them.

Josh keeps your relationship a secret for as long as possible, and frequently makes up excuses to tell both you and the club to not hang out.

If you end up finding out about the club? Fine! But don’t expect to be invited to any meetings, EVER.

If the club finds out about you… good god.

They’ll probably see if they can get you and Josh to break up, doing anything from spreading rumors to pulling pranks to even staging a “He cheated on you!” scandal.

But you never will break up.

Josh wouldn’t (couldn’t) allow it.

Pete

HOLY MOLY does this boy have BAD BAD BAD grades

Just barely passing his classes, and his parents don’t really care that he’s highkey struggling.

Uses class to mess around, catch up on sleep, or do anything that’s not classwork.

Sometimes has insomnia, other times he’s out like a light and sleeps like a log. No in between.

Complete lack of sleep schedule. Goes to bed anywhere from 11pm to 5am.

I side with the Pete-snores-when-he’s-asleep truthers. He probably mumbles too.

Fan of insect torture as a kid (never grew out of it)

Probably has 5 or 6 siblings and doesn’t get much attention, leading to him locking himself away in his room watching his disgusting movies or hanging out with the club.

Either way, Pete has a lot of free time – the most by far out of the club members.

He likes music he can play loudly (i.e rap and heavy metal).

Won’t do house music, though. He claims “any music that don’t got lyrics ain’t fuck’n music.” 

Has a fake drivers license that says he’s 21 (it’s so obviously fake, though)

Pete relates a lot of things in his daily life to horror movies (i.e stalking through the streets of an unsuspecting neighborhood, the pale streetlights a temporary respite from the shadows that ravage silent suburbia is basically him as Michael Myers about to kill some bimbo bitch)

He could talk at great lengths about various assortments of snacks to eat upon viewing different categories of horror movies for exclusive experiences.

You maybe met on the bus — it was your first day at this new school, and you’re blissfully unaware of all the social workings of .

God when you stepped on that stupid, yellow, loud ass, hot and sweltering tin can on wheels, it was over for you.

Pete laid his beady little eyes on you, he went dead silent, right in the middle of terrorizing the freshmen behind him with his gory recollections of whatever blood-soaked film it was.

When you sat in the bus seat directly in front of him, he lost it.

Did you know who he was? Were you aware the neighborhood horror-porn maniac is sitting behind you? And did you know how mouth-wateringly, drop-dead gorgeous you are?

It was all a downhill tumble from there; Pete heaves himself up as the bus starts moving, making remarks about your physical appearance.

Before long it’s now romantic advances like gifts, confessions, reminders that he knows where you live.

And even if you try and change seats he’ll force his way to sit somewhere near you and continue his odd serenade of you.

So now, with this new obsession, Pete will take “bathroom breaks,” consisting of him strolling down the halls, trying to figure out which classes you have and when.

Soon enough, he’s memorized your entire schedule and will pick spots to wait for you that will ensure you two see each other.

The romantic tension is really getting to him. Is it getting to you?

While you can’t escape Pete in school, he can’t escape you, ever.

You infect his dreams, whisper into every aspect of his life, and Pete can’t even watch a goddamn horrible slasher flick without seeing you in place of the final girl, covered in blood, screeching in terror (before promptly having to rub one out).

Honest to god I have no idea how you two would end up together.

Best guess? You go watch a movie (alone, if this is to play out correctly) and that freak ass club ducks into the theatre, hoping to creep into the seats and watch whatever knockoff film was showing, free of charge.

They can’t see shit as the lights click off and the screen turns black, so somehow Pete ends up filing into the same row as poor, unsuspecting you.

From there? Can’t say; perhaps he notices you before you notice him. Maybe he just stares in disbelief for a moment – I mean it’s you, the person who rules his dreams and his mind (and might possibly like him).

Then maybe he gets a bit bolder, lets his hands to the talking, and you sit there and take it because you know you like him back and then he grabs your chin, rough and hungry, and closes in and the two of you are-

Man, who knows.

Love language? That’s a hard one. I’m thinking “wild card” — you have no idea what he’s gonna do for you and when he’s gonna do it, but whatever it is, it’s thoughtful.

And MY GOD is his room RANCID.

There's like mystery wet spots and piles of trash and dirty clothes everywhere.

And crumpled tissues. Let's not think about those right now.

He doesn’t even bother to clean it the first time you come over either. You just have to stand there awkwardly while Pete rants about this one obscure horror film that copied this other obscure horror film.

His parents don't really ask him to clean his room basically ever, and Pete has ZERO sense of personal hygiene.

Showers like twice a month. Maybe thrice if he can muster up the want.

Pete likes cold showers. He also likes eating ice cream, outdoors, in the middle of winter (“It won’t fuck’n melt!” he insists, knee deep in snow).

OH, and Pete’s not really that nice to you.

Mainly because he thinks it’s great entertainment to have someone to subject his little spurts of malice upon.

But also, because he doesn’t really know how to convey affection — all he’s learned in the romance sector is from a constant bombardment of his… taste in movies.

If you squirm at gore just know one of your dates is gonna be Pete sitting you down and making you watch a movie among his top ten most horrid tapes. Possibly in some secluded area.

And? And? This ANIMAL loves sneaking up behind you and giving you a scare. Constantly.

If you flinch he’ll laugh a bit, but leave you to scowl at him

But let out a noise and jump? GOD he will tease and tease you forever. And it’s guaranteed he’ll spook you more often, too.

Pete does a lot of things to elicit a reaction — commenting on your body, scaring you like mentioned above, saying absolutely profane shit that makes your cheeks heat instantaneously, when he leans in and whispers what he wants to do to you.

And on occasion, he’ll make threats. Just vague,  “I know where you live,” type shit (no duh, you know where he lives too), but sometimes he’ll step a little too far, insinuate a little too much. 

But listen – he’s not all bad. Pete does some nice things for you.

Just bet if you ever get bullied, some nauseating note(s) filled with immensely graphic, highly nauseating threats will be nailed to your terrorizer’s front door (fake blood may be included).

Movie dates are typically at your house (both you and Pete prefer it), but he will outright lie to your parents, and maybe even you, about what movie(s) you’ll be watching.

Sometimes he’ll show up unannounced, banging at your window for you to open up in the middle of the night.

On occasion, when he knows your house is gonna be deserted for a bit, he’ll go into your room and snoop around, maybe just lay on your bed.

But uh… Pete gropes. He really does.

It’s like an addiction; it would be easier to prove what comes after death once and for all than make Pete to get his fucking mitts off you.

He’s also into biting. But much less than groping, thank god.

Pete doesn't care if you're around the club (he actually enjoys seeing everyones reactions, especially Bill's, when he rubs it in their face that he's dating this smoking hot, absolutely stunning human being).

If you were being hit on by another person though, I doubt Pete would get jealous or try to defend you. Hell, he might even like seeing you squirm in discomfort.

The longer your relationship drags on, Pete’s intrusive thoughts regarding you become increasingly more disturbing.

One of these days he’s gonna make these depraved fantasies a reality.

Bill

For some god awful reason he has straight A’s without even trying.

Does his mom care when he brings home yet another test he aced? No.

Bill correlates a lot of subject matter with characters, from comics, plots of shows, or whatever else. He can memorize tons of material with minimal effort, while simultaneously keeping up that think-about-comics-24/7 mindset.

Lazy as hell — never does chores or anything he doesn’t have to.

THE bare minimum guy.

Can’t have any pets because he wouldn’t take care of them; irresponsible to the point he could kill a cactus.

His eyesight isn’t as bad as Josh’s, but still takes the care to clean his glasses and avoid getting them scratched up.

His damaged eyes partially because he read comics after bedtime way too much as a kid, flashlight under the covers and everything.

Master of cutting corners when it comes to anything — speedruns his homework, does every other problem/question if he can get away with it, and can’t be bothered with double checking anything he ever does.

I bet he got night terrors and nightmares when he was little — some of his nightmares still traumatize him to this day.

In terms of hygiene, he’s pretty bad at it (duh). Not as bad as Pete, but still, bad.

Showers only at his mom’s orders (once a week, maybe twice).

Bill’s closet is a big copy and paste fest — nothing disturbs the endless sea of graphic tees, dark colored jeans, and flannel shirts/blazers.

Except that one suit that he wore to some distant relatives funeral when he was thirteen. He hasn’t worn it since, but debates using it for some cosplay.

Bill would subtly violate a person’s boundaries, and then brush it off as a joke when he’s called out.

Going off of my “Bill is smart” headcanon, and how his mom doesn’t care for education, he could have done a lot of things, but the lack of value put on education caused him to not give a shit about going to college or whatnot.

Throwing insults at people, media concepts, anything is a favorite of his.

Will find some way to hate on something, no matter how good it is (too long, too boring, not enough naked women)

On my life Bill listens to Weezer. Probably Radiohead too.

Disclaimer: below is fem!reader x w*lliam. Srry boys and other💔

You gotta be insane to want to date Bill Dickey.

You have to have a complete lack of self worth and respect.

I mean where does the attraction even come from? He’s repulsive, abusive, narcissistic. Who would even like this misogynist? (me me me!)

But you are clueless when you first meet. The school’s big, and you’re not too familiar with everything.

Maybe you haven't seen him getting bullied and shoved around just yet.

You approach him with honest, innocent intentions: you’re lost and need to get to your next class.

“He doesn’t seem like he’s a bad guy” is what you’re thinking when you spot him, leaning against a locker and thumbing through a comic book (oh, how wrong you are!)

So you tap on his shoulder and ask him if he knows which direction Mrs. Green’s English class is.

And of course, Bill takes it as something else – a helpless, normie bitch is interrupting his happy world of imagination, asking him for help (to mock him or throw herself at him, he can’t figure out)

He immediately snaps back, commenting how of course you wouldn’t know where your class is, damn woman.

Maybe he insults you some more, stating how you shouldn’t even be in school anyways, idiotic bimbo.

And how do you react?

You stumble off in shock – blaming your burning face on his degradation and not the fluttering in your gut.

But alas, soon enough you find yourself needing major help on some complex subject, whatever it is, so you ask the teacher if they have any recommendations for tutors.

Of course, Mr. top-of-the-class Bill Dickey is first on his list.

So now you’re being tutored by Bill, whose ego is stoked like an inferno at the chance to not only be around a pretty girl for an hour, but get to basically call her stupid every second of the way.

80% of the time he keeps his distance, the two of you sitting across from each other in a quiet corner of the library, but on occasion, when you just can’t get something right, he will march over there, wrestle the pencil out of your hands, and do it for you (you note to yourself that’s the best way to make Bill come over to you).

Holy shit his face is so red when he’s done leaning over you and mansplaining (fuck, you smell good) and you pretend not to notice, blaming his reddened face on anger, frustration.

But some part of you wonders if he likes you the way you like him.

Soon enough, your tutoring becomes a highlight of your day (same with him, but he’d never admit it).

Truth be told, Bill’s a pretty bad teacher, but he can be really funny, relatable, and at least you’re getting somewhere.

He even introduced you to some good comic series (without him actually knowing, you just picked up a copy of whatever he was reading at your local comic shop. What was it, Moe’s? Bo’s? Either way, everyone was staring at you freakishly from the second you walked in to the second you stepped out.)

Sessions are always in the library, but he fantasizes about taking it further, going to his house or yours.

Sometimes he wonders what your room would look like (by sometimes I mean MANY times).

But Bill despises you.

You are literally ruining his life.

You have no idea what you do to him – always looking so fucking innocent, entirely unaware of how you sink your teeth into his heart every time you smile, wave, say “hi” in the halls.

He didn’t really know what a cocktease was – till he met you.

He can't stop thinking about anything  to do with you; your body, your voice, your lips. The way you laugh at his jokes and not him, how you come back no matter how many times he berates you.

It’s like you own him without even raising a finger.

He finds his grades dropping because he can’t pay attention in the classes you share — he watches you brazenly like some starving dog watching a butcher’s shop.

He gets worse and worse at tutoring you because he’ll lose his train of thought, completely enraptured by the thought of how fucking easy it would be to simply lean in and smash his lips against yours.

For fucks sake, Bill shouldn’t think so much about a girl; you’re just a carbon copy of all the other whores running around this shitty planet.

He, the man, rules you, not the other fucking way around.

But when you show up in his dreams as a seductive member of his crew, spread out and needy for him, his head is whirling and he loses his typically smooth composure (in his fuckass dreams! really?!)

But he wakes up before anything can actually happen, putting him in a foul mood.

He’s shaken out of it when he takes a cold shower.

Now Bill’s simultaneously angry, shameful, and excited whenever he goes to sleep.

If you ever show up for the club, he’ll scream and shout in protest.

And if you somehow worm yourself into a session? GOD it is torture for Bill.

How the hell is he supposed to get anything done when the girl he LOVES hates is sitting right across from him, getting hit on by Pete.

Needless to say, Bill would be a bit more abrasive during that session (partially in hopes you’ll get scared off, but also because he gets so worked up around you)

Please please PLEASE do not confess to Bill.

He would never confess to you either, but that's not the point.

I mean gosh, imagine how BAD it would be:

In the back of the library you’re packing up, just having finished a (now useless) tutoring session.

You blurt that you love him.

You have feelings of romantic attraction towards him.

There's a brief pause that drags on, and on, and you can’t tell if Bill’s gonna reply at all (he's having an internal meltdown; the only reason he’s not blushing is cause he’s sheet white out of shock)

You’re on the verge of running away, moving schools, never showing your face in public ever again when he just says, “yeah.”

Or maybe he just laughs in your face.

Your relationship? More of an ownership, an ego boost for him.

Bill makes you do a lot of things for him, even if he’s more than capable of doing them himself.

But he ensures you don’t stray too far – he wants to see you doing whatever menial task he ordered you to do.

Talks about you incessantly to anyone who will listen.

It’s mainly bragging, though. Even though he treats you like shit, Bill will somehow work your name into every single conversation and club meeting.

And also he WILL beat up anyone who badmouths you (verbally. Bill can't fight for his life)

He’ll also defend you online like crazy (what a sweetheart!), but all with his army of alt accounts.

Hardly even says “I love you,” or anything of the like.

You don’t really go on dates either – Bill just keeps you around and forces you to follow him wherever he goes.

Also HE approaches YOU, not the other way around.

One time you tried to ask if you could hang out and he didn’t speak to you for a few days (didn’t even make himself seen. If you did interact, it’s him making some misogynistic, cruel comment towards you)

Believe me, Bill was probably way more miserable than you were. 

He's a MASSIVE freak for physical touch, and majorly touch starved.

Even thinking about skin on skin contact makes him salivate.

Bill will shiver if your hands simply brushed.

Never holds your hand in public but GOD he wants to. Dreams about it all the time (speaking of dreams, you still show up in them. Every time he wakes up, his sexual frustration grows)

He'd love to just. Lay on you. Whether it be lying face down, head between your tits, or just draped across you, it doesn’t matter.

Either way, his inward battle of misogyny and emotion has to fizzle out sometime soon.

Once you’re finally in a stage in which he’s more comfortable with the idea of having a… “girlfriend,” he’s gonna start touching.

I swear his hands will never leave your body, touching, groping, brushing.

He doesn’t care for hand holding in the romantic sense so much as the he-gets-to-touch-you-and-show-everyone-that-you’re-HIS sense.

Walking through the halls? Hand interlocked with yours. Sitting next to each other in class? Hand on your thigh. Standing side by side at Joe’s? Probably has his arm draped across your shoulders or resting on your hip.

And Bill likes unexpectedly grabbing you.

HARD.

You’ll be walking side by side in a public space and his fingers will just sink into your flesh with enough force to bruise (this freak gets so turned on if you squeak or squeal in reaction)

I have no idea what compels you to stay with him.

If you guys fight (probably often), he's never gonna say sorry. He’s definitely one of those people who will never admit they’re wrong

He's always gonna find some way to shift the blame on you.

But maybe it’s the fact that he's the only person that you have. He’s isolated you from your friends without you even noticing, and hasn't even realized what a wreck your life is now.

Break ups end with you or Bill crawling back to apologize to one another. 

Mostly you. Almost always, it’s you.

[theclowningbusiness]

We Deserve It

Pairing:  Joel Miller x Reader

Tropes: Idk?

Warnings: Kissing, age gap (unspecified, but everyone is LEGAL, Joel has only known Reader while she is 18+, don’t be nasty)

Other tags: Joel Miller pushing ppl away for no reason <3, alfredo sauce even tho it’s the apocalypse (bc I said so), doesn’t necessarily follow the timeline of the games, yes horses can get the flu, it’s called equine influenza

Background: Before the world all went to shit, Joel Miller was your neighbor. 

Description: Just when you think you’re at the end of your rope, your savior appears. In the form of Joel Miller.

    You didn’t know how long you’d been walking, you only knew how tired you felt. With the lack of anything substantial to eat for the past week or so, you grew tired more quickly than you used to. You were truly at your end. With nothing else to give, you collapsed onto your knees, landing against the grass with a muffled thud.

    There was no hope. You didn’t know your exact location, only that you were probably somewhere in Wyoming. You didn’t have much food left. All that remained in your bag was an old bag of chips you had found and a half eaten granola bar. It was early spring, but after a Wyoming winter, there was still a chill in the air. A chill that your flimsy jacket didn’t stave off. 

    After all these years of fighting in this new world,  is this how you would go?

    Alone, exhausted, starving, cold. It was better than being infected, you thought.

    You closed your eyes, thinking that even just resting for a moment could keep you going just a little longer. Truly, in your heart, you weren’t ready to give up. You’d die fighting, pushing until the last second.

    You weren’t sure how long you’d been sitting there when you heard the grass rustling behind you. Opening your eyes, you stayed silent, not yet aware of what or who may be behind you. Before you had the chance to try and turn to see what you could be up against, a voice spoke from behind you.

    “Put your hands up.”

    The voice belonged to a man. He sounded sure, commanding.

    You had no option to comply with his order, not when you heard the sound of a gun being adjusted in his arms. Lifting your arms, you held them up on either side of your head.

    Keeping your head down, you prepared for the worst. The man came to stand in front of you. All you could see was his boots and the bottom of his pants. At least it seemed to just be the one man.

    “Look at me,” he instructed, his voice still firm. “And don’t do anything stupid.”

    Complying with his request once again, you raised your head. As your eyes scanned his face, it took you a moment to focus and make sure you weren’t hallucinating. You knew this face. You’d seen it more times than you could count.

    Joel Miller. Seeing a familiar face had never felt so good.

    You could feel the tears of relief flooding your eyes. Joel had always been kind to you. He was a good man.

    It seems to take Joel a moment longer to recognize you, but when he does, the barrel of his gun drops. He pushes the gun out of his grip and drops to his knees in front of you. His arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you against his chest.

    All you could do was silently sob against him, your tears forming wet patches on the front of his jacket. As you sobbed, he rocked your body slightly with his, holding you tightly.

    “It’s alright,” he breathed out. His voice wasn’t so guarded this time. This was the Joel you knew. “I’ve got you, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

    You had never felt such relief in your entire life. Not a single moment could compare to the one happening now.

    Joel let you get everything out before he slowly pulled back enough to see your face as he spoke to you.

    “Can you stand up with me?” He asked, his eyes looking into yours.

    You nodded, worried that saying anything would only make you cry again.

    Joel stood up carefully, pulling you up with him. He kept his hands on your shoulders to make sure you were steady. He seemed to hesitate before he spoke again.

    “I have to ask,” he started, sighing. “Have you been bitten or scratched?”

    “No,” you managed to get out as you shook your head.

    “Good,” he gave a singular nod. “Let’s get you somewhere safe,” he added. After making sure you’d be stable enough to stand without his help, he let go. He removed his coat, draping it around your shoulders and pulling it together in the front.

    You’d never heard a better idea.

    “C’mon,” he breathed out, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to lead you back to where Ellie and Tommy stood with their horses.

    Originally, this was supposed to be a simple patrol. Joel hadn’t expected to find anyone. Especially not you.

    As the two of you approached Ellie and Tommy, the younger Miller brother’s jaw dropped.

    Before he could get a word out, Joel shook his head. Now wasn’t the time for questions, or reunions. It was time to get you home. Safe.

    Even Ellie seemed to sense some weird kind of tension and kept her mouth shut.

    Joel helped you get up on his horse before climbing on after you. When he was settled, you wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your body against his back. You laid your head down on his shoulder and let out a deep sigh.

    “Let’s head back. We’ll send someone else out to finish the rest of the patrol,” Joel decided.

    The ride back to Jackson wasn’t too long, but you already felt better. Just the simple fact of knowing that it wasn’t the end was enough to help you perk up a little. By the time you were approaching the gates of Jackson, you weren’t leaning against Joel as much, and your head was lifted and looking at your surroundings.

    “They’re gonna bring the dogs out, Joel,” Tommy spoke quietly. “Are you positive that they aren’t going to alert? Neither one of us wants to see that.”

    “I’m sure,” he nodded. He hadn’t checked himself, but he trusted you.

    The four of you all got down from the horses. That’s when you heard the barking start.

    Joel stood in front of you as some others came out of the gate to take the horses and guide them back to the stables.

    “These dogs are just gonna come smell you,” he explained. “They’re trained to smell if someone is infected. As long as you aren’t, you’re gonna be fine, they won’t touch you. I need you to tell me right now if there’s a chance they’re gonna smell something.”

    “I promise,” you started, finding your voice, “There’s absolutely no chance.”

    Joel nodded, stepping aside.

    It was only a moment later that two large, barking dogs came running at you straight on. They circled you, their noses twitching as they sniffed at you. They didn’t smell any infection, and ran directly back to their handlers.

    You let out a breath of relief. Of course, you knew you weren’t infected, but if they smelled something wrong, it could’ve been over.

    Joel made his way back to your side, looking a little relieved himself.

    “Let’s get you some food,” he spoke, using a hand on your back to guide you into the gates of Jackson as Tommy and Ellie trailed along behind you.

    As Joel led you, you couldn’t help but look around in awe. Electricity, livestock, children playing, people having civil conversations. This was a slice of the world before. It was nearly unbelievable.

    “We should go talk to Maria, get some things set up for her,” Tommy suggested.

    “She needs to eat something,” Joel argued.

    “I can take her,” Ellie volunteered. “We’ll go eat and we’ll just wait there ‘til you’re done and come get us.”

    Joel weighed his options in his head. His jaw cocked to one side as he thought. He looked at you, one brow raised in question. He said nothing, but it was clear what he was asking. If you were okay with him leaving you with Ellie. You replied with a silent nod.

    “Alright, fine,” he agreed, eyes landing on Ellie again. “But don’t you go and start bugging her. She’s tired and hungry, she doesn’t want to put up with that.”

    “Yes, sir,” Ellie nodded, giving him a sarcastic salute.

    “Christ,” Joel muttered, shaking his head. “Go on, Tommy and I won’t be too long.”

    “Let’s go get some lunch, I’m starving,” Ellie hummed, making sure you were with her as she started walking through Jackson.

================

    “So,” Ellie began once you were both sitting down with your plates of food in front of you. “Who are you?” She asked.

    You couldn’t help but smile at how straightforward she seemed to be. You gave her name, but she only shook her head in response.

    “I mean like who are you? Like why does Joel give a shit?” She clarified her question. “He doesn’t usually just go hugging people. Especially not random people. So you gotta be someone.”

    “I knew Joel before the outbreak,” you replied. “We were neighbors before the entire world went to shit. He was always nice to me, and it looks like that hasn’t changed.”

    “Holy shit, you knew Joel before this?” She gasped, her jaw dropping. “What was he like?”

    You chuckled softly, finding her surprise amusing.

    “He was a good guy,” you shrugged. “He was always kind, we would joke around when we happened to bump into each other. I babysat Sarah a few times if he had something come up or he’d look at my car when it wasn’t working right. We didn’t know each other all that much, but we were friendly, I guess.”

    “What else?” She asked, leaning onto the table, clearly invested.

    “I don’t know what else there is to tell,” you answered honestly. “I don’t have any juicy gossip on the man or something. He really was just a good man, a great dad and brother, and a nice neighbor.”

    “Come on man,” Ellie playfully huffed. “There’s gotta be something interesting.”

    “I guess there is one thing,” you hummed. “But if I tell you, you’re sworn to absolute secrecy. You take it to the grave.”

    “Tell me,” she nodded, eager for whatever you were about to say.

    “Alright,” you breathed out. You looked around to make sure Joel hadn’t come to find you before continuing. “I used to have a huge crush on him when we lived next door.”

    “Ew!” Ellie laughed. “On Joel? Why?”

    “Because he was sweet and handsome,” you laughed softly with her. It felt nice to be able to laugh. “I was young, barely an adult, really, and he was my hot older dilf neighbor. It was just an innocent crush.”

    “Yuck,” Ellie shook her head. “I can’t even imagine that. Did you have a crush on Tommy too?” She joked.

    “No, I didn’t have a crush on Tommy too,” you chuckled. “I knew him too, saw him around sometimes, but not as much as Joel. But, now that I’ve answered your questions, I’ve got a few.”

    “Hit me,” Ellie nodded.

    “Where is Sarah?” You asked softly. The question had been weighing on you your entire ride to Jackson. 

    “Joel’s daughter?” Ellie frowned. “I don’t know exactly what happened,” she started. “But she didn’t make it.”

    “Oh my god,” you breathed out. You had expected the worst when Joel didn’t bring her up, along with the fact that she hadn’t been with him when he found you. That didn’t mean you wanted to accept it.

    Ellie stayed silent, unsure what to say while you processed what she’d just told you.

    After sitting in silence for a few moments, you spoke again.

    “How do you know Joel?” You questioned, wanting to move on from your previous question, deciding to process that later on your own.

    “We were in Boston, but he was coming here for Tommy,” she began. “And I needed to get here, so he brought me with him.”

    You nodded in understanding. Somehow Joel picking up a stray kid didn’t shock you.

    “What about this place?” You raised a brow. “I mean, how is this even here?”

    “It’s called Jackson,” she explained. “Joel and I haven’t been here that long, a little over a year. The electricity comes from the dam, the crops and animals are all communal. When we first showed up, Tommy didn’t even realize it was a commune until Joel pointed it out. You’ll have to ask Maria if you wanna know more about it, that’s really all I got.”

    “It’s kinda crazy,” you let out a breathy chuckle.

    “Wait ‘til you take a hot shower and sleep on a bed,” she smiled. “That’s even crazier, trust me.”

    “That sounds like heaven,” you admitted. “It’s been too long since I’ve done either of those things.”

    Before Ellie had a chance to reply to you, Joel and Tommy were walking over to the table and joining you and the girl. Joel took a seat next to you, while Tommy filled the chair next to Ellie.

    “We got everything ready for you,” Tommy said, leaning on his elbows on the table. “You’re gonna be staying in the free room at Joel and Ellie’s if that’s alright with you.”

    “That’s more than alright,” you nodded. “Hell, you could have me sleep in a barn and I’d just be grateful for the roof over my head.”

    “Well you should’ve said that sooner, we would’ve just cleaned out a stall,” Tommy joked, a playful smile on his lips.

    You laughed softly, shaking your head at the youngest Miller brother.

    “Ignore him,” Joel rolled his eyes. “We got the room set up for you. Maria picked out some clothes and things for you. They’re already in your room, and if anything doesn’t fit, we’ll find somethin’ else that does. I found you some new boots too, and Tommy found a coat that’s thicker than the one you’ve got.”

    “Thank you,” you smiled. “This is all, it’s almost too much,” you confessed. “I’m not even sure how to function in an actual town like this anymore.”

    “That’s alright,” Tommy assured, “You’ll get used to it. If Joel’s stubborn ass did it, you can adjust too, I’m sure.”

    “Shut up,” Joel huffed at Tommy before turning his focus to you. “He’s right though, about you adjusting. It’ll be strange at first, but then it sorta becomes a new normal.”

    “That sounds great,” you nodded. Adjusting to a life like this sounded amazing after living in a dog eat dog world for years on end. “I’d love to keep talking, but honestly, I’m exhausted. Can one of you show me to the house?”

    “Not until you get checked up,” Joel shook his head. “We’ve got a clinic here in town, it’s on the way back to the house.”

    “Alright,” you nodded. It was a reasonable request, and getting checked up on by a doctor wouldn’t hurt anything.

    “Let’s go, then I’ll take you home and you can get settled in,” Joel said as he stood up from the table.

    You stood as well, grabbing your plate from the table. You planned to take it wherever they asked, but Ellie took it from your hands. 

    “I got it,” she shrugged, “I gotta take mine anyways. You just go to the clinic with Joel.”

    “Thanks,” you smiled at the girl.

    Ellie just shrugged it off and grabbed her own plate before walking away from the table.

    “I’ll see you around, I’m sure,” you spoke as you gave Tommy a small nod. “Hopefully after a full night’s sleep on a bed,” you added as Joel placed a hand on your back to lead you out of the dining hall.

    “See ya,” Tommy nodded at you in return. “Get some rest.”

    You smiled softly. It was so nice to be surrounded by kind people for once. Especially ones that you knew.

    “It’s good to see you again, Joel,” you spoke as the two of you made it outside. “I wasn’t sure if you were even alive.”

    “I wasn’t sure if you were either,” he replied as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants. “That night, I did try to knock on your door,” he admitted.

    “I wasn’t home,” you shook your head, looking at the ground as you walked. “I had been over at a friend’s house.”

    Joel nodded silently, not sure how to reply.

    “I’m glad you’re the one that found me,” you hummed. “When I was out there, I thought I was nearing the end,” you confessed to him, “Then you found me. Thank you for bringing me back with you.”

    “‘Course,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t gonna leave you out there alone.”

    “I know,” you nodded. “You were always nice to me, even back before the word fell apart,” you smiled. “I knew you wouldn’t leave me there.”

    “I’m just glad to know you’re safe,” he replied. “I always wondered.”

    “I can’t say I didn’t wonder what happened to you,” you said, lifting your head to look at him. “I uh,” you sighed your voice growing soft, “I talked to Ellie, she told me what happened. I’m sorry about Sarah, she was a great kid.”

    Joel’s jaw flexed and he chewed on his lips as he took in your words. You could see that he didn’t want to talk about it, so you gave him an out instead.

    “You don’t have to say anything,” you assured. “I just, I wanted you to know that I know.”

    Joel nodded, his jaw relaxing back into its normal position.

    Before you knew it, you and Joel were standing in front of Jackson’s clinic. He opened the door, letting you walk in first. He followed you in and walked up to the front desk. It was a slow day, so no other patients were there. The nurse at the desk greeted you both with a smile as she stood up.

    You were both led back into an exam room. You sat on the table as Joel sat on the chair that was pushed against the wall.

    “I’ll go grab the doctor for you,” the nurse hummed before heading out of the room.

    “It’s almost weird being at a doctor’s office,” you chuckled softly. “It’s like it was before.”

    “It’s something you have to get used to,” Joel nodded in agreement.

    There was a knock on the door before you had a chance to reply. The doctor opened the door and walked in, greeting you as she sat down on the small stool in the room.

    “I’m Dr. Morgan, but you can call me Jen,” she smiled.

    “I’ll step out so you can get on with your check up,” Joel said, standing up from the chair he’d been sitting in. “I’ll be in the waiting room.”

    “Wait,” you shook your head, reaching out to grab his wrist before he could leave. “Would you stay? Please.”

    Joel seemed confused by your choice, but nodded silently and sat back down.

    The check up went well and the doctor didn’t seem too concerned with your state. As she was wrapping up the visit, she sat down to look over the notes she’d taken.

    “Everything is pretty normal considering that you’ve been out on your own. I expected some things to be different because of that. It looks like you’re just gonna need some rest. You’ve been pushing yourself, with reason, of course, and your body needs to recover. Make sure you get plenty to eat and lots of fluids. Other than that, you seem healthy. If you need anything, feel free to come back.”

    “Thank you so much,” you breathed out. You were relieved that your time living on your own and nearly starving hadn’t had any sort of major effects on your health.

    “Of course,” she nodded, standing up and opening the door. “You guys can go ahead home. Just rest yourself, you need it,” she smiled softly at you.

    You gave her a nod and hopped down from the exam table. Joel stood up as well, and the two of you walked out of the room and left the clinic.

    “That wasn’t anything surprising,” you hummed. “I knew I needed food and water, and I definitely knew I needed rest,” you chuckled.

    “When we get back to the house, you can settle in, take a shower if you want, and relax,” Joel suggested. “If you wanted to take a nap, I’ll wake you up later for dinner,” he offered.

    “That would be great, Joel, thank you,” you nodded. “I can’t remember the last time I got to take a nap. Hell, it was hard to sleep at night, naps were out of the question.”

    “I know what you mean,” he agreed.

    As the two of you walked to the house, Joel pointed out some of the businesses and buildings of Jackson. He answered any questions you happened to think of during the walk. It didn’t seem like much time had passed at all as you walked up the steps to the house. Your new home.

    Joel opened the door and walked in, kicking off his boots by the door. You followed suit, walking in behind him and sliding your shoes off next to his while you pushed the door shut. Next, you slid off the jacket that he’d wrapped around you earlier and handed it to him. He hung it on a hook on the wall before walking farther into the house.

    “I’ll show you your room first, then you can explore if you want,” he decided aloud. He began to walk through the house, making sure you were following him as he did.

    As he opened the door to your room, you could hardly believe it. You had an actual room, with an actual bed, in an actual house. This was heaven, it had to be. You’d died, and this is where you went in the afterlife.

    “There’s a bathroom right off of your room, so you won’t have to share with me or Ellie,” he explained. “And I’m right down the hall if you need something. I’ll, uh, I’ll leave you to it so you can get settled in, but if you need me, I’ll be around.”

    You walked into the room, looking around. You let out a breathy laugh before turning around and wrapping your arms around Joel’s shoulders.

    “Thank you,” you smiled. “I don’t think I can ever pay you back for this,” you added.

    “You don’t have to,” he shook his head. His arms held your middle, returning the hug. “Just get some rest, okay?”

    “That I can do,” you nodded, pulling away from the hug. “I’m gonna grab a shower and then try and catch up on some sleep. Just promise you’ll come wake me up for dinner.”

    “Promise,” he confirmed, giving you a nod. Without another word, Joel turned, leaving your room and shutting the door behind him.

    Now that you were alone, you walked over to the bed to get a closer look at what had been left. Clothes that seemed to be your size, a coat, a new pair of boots, a couple towels and rags, and some hygiene products.

    You couldn’t believe it. This all seemed so unreal. Even if you were dreaming, you were sure as hell going to enjoy it while it lasted.

================

    Settling into Jackson was easier than you’d expected. It was an adjustment, of course, but you fell into a rhythm naturally. You certainly welcomed the change, and it had only been two months.

    Things had been amazing. You’d started being assigned different jobs, and you’d made some new friends. That wasn’t something you ever thought you’d do again. It was nice, having friends again. One of the closest friends you made was Tommy, which really wasn’t surprising.

    He had told you about what happened with him and Joel since the last time you had seen them. Some parts he chose to leave out, but you didn’t blame him. Everyone had done things they didn’t want to talk about after the world had changed. You’d never fault him for that. 

    During your time in Jackson, you’d also grown closer with Ellie. And of course, you grew closer to Joel as well.

    As you got to know Joel all over again, you could feel the old feelings of your crush returning. You tried to tell yourself that you were just feeling that way because he had saved you, but you knew you were just lying to yourself. Joel just had a way of giving you butterflies. It was ridiculous, he had you feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush.

    Joel was different, that much was clear. But you could tell that he was still the same man that would always lend a helping hand if you needed it. Underneath the gruff man that survived the apocalypse, there was still a kind soul.

    Despite your feelings, you never said anything. Having Joel as a friend (and housemate) is more important than trying for more and ruining things.

    “Hey, what time is dinner gonna be ready?” Ellie’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

    “What?” You hummed, shaking your head as you looked up from the alfredo sauce you had been stirring before your mind wandered.

    “Dinner,” she repeated. “I asked when it would be ready.”

   “Less than an hour,” you answered. “Sorry, I was caught up thinking.”

    “About what? Your crush on Joel?” She snickered.

    “I’m gonna regret telling you that, aren’t I?” You huffed, resuming your stirring.

    “Yup,” she nodded, walking farther into the kitchen and hopping up to sit on the counter.

    “Do you know if Joel’s gonna be home in time for dinner?” You asked, grabbing a spare spoon and dipping it into the sauce.

    “Should be,” she shrugged. “He likes when you make dinner, he can’t cook for shit. Doubt he’d miss it.”

    “Yeah, cooking was never his strong suit,” you laughed softly, offering the spoon to Ellie so she could share her thoughts on the sauce.

    Ellie took the spoon, tasting the sauce that was on it. She let out a hum, nodding in approval.

    “It’s good,” she complimented. “You’re a pretty good cook.”

    “Thanks,” you smiled, turning the heat down under the saucepan. “I can teach you sometime if you want,” you offered, reaching into the cabinet and grabbing a strainer to put in the sink.

    “Sure,” she nodded, “I can help you next time you make dinner.”

    “Sounds like a plan,” you hummed, grabbing the pot that you’d been boiling the pasta in. You took it to the sink, pouring it into the strainer.

    As you poured the pasta, you could hear the front door open. Ellie had been right, he wasn’t missing your dinner. You heard some shuffling and footsteps, then Joel was leaning against the doorframe leading into the kitchen.

    “Smells good in here,” he commented. “What’re you making?”

    “Pasta with alfredo sauce,” you answered, placing the pot back on the stove. “Ellie was my taste tester, she approves.”

    “Sounds good,” Joel gave a nod of approval.

    It wasn’t long before the three of you were sitting at the table, ready to eat dinner.

    “How was patrol today?” You asked Joel as you all started to eat.

    “Not bad,” he shrugged. “We didn’t come across anything too concerning. A few clickers, but nothing we couldn’t handle. What about your day? Everything okay at the stables?” He questioned in return.

    “Yeah, everything was great,” you smiled. “Zeus seems to be getting over the flu, he should be good to get back to riding any day now.”

    “Good,” Joel nodded.

    Before you knew it, dinner was over, and you were getting ready to wash up the dishes.

    “Need any help?” Joel offered, walking over and grabbing the soap.

    “Sure,” you hummed, “You wash, I dry?” You offered, picking up a dish towel.

    Joel gave you a nod and started running the water to get things started.

    “So, you guys came across some clickers today, huh?” You asked, leaning against the counter.

    “Yeah,” Joel replied, picking up the first plate and starting to wash it. “It was a small group of them, I think there were only four. Nothing too difficult to deal with,” he shrugged it off, handing you the plate.

    You accepted the plate, starting to dry it off with the dish towel in your hands.

    “Ellie and I were talking while I made dinner,” you began. “I’m gonna start teaching her to cook. She wants to help me make dinner next time I cook.”

    “Now you’ll both be better cooks than me,” Joel joked. “I can’t cook for shit.”

    “Yeah, Ellie was telling me about that earlier too,” you chuckled.

    The two of you fell into a rhythm as you washed and dried the dishes. You talked about random things. Joel’s next patrol, your shifts at the stable, going over to Tommy’s for dinner next week. Your shoulders were nearly bumping, and occasionally you’d nudge Joel’s arm with your own. It felt comfortable. Domestic.

    Eventually, you ran out of dishes, and your talk was coming to an end. As you put the last plate on the drying rack, you spoke.

    “We make a pretty good team,” you smiled, tossing the dish towel onto the counter next to the rack. You turned to face Joel, your hip leaning on the counter.

    “I’d say so,” Joel agreed, rinsing his hands before turning the water off. He grabbed a different dish towel and dried them off.

    “Finished this in half the time it would’ve taken me doing it alone,” you hummed.

    “I figured you cooked, least I could do was help you out with the dishes,” Joel reasoned.

    “I appreciate it,”  you nodded. It was only now that you realized how close you and Joel were standing. You kept your eyes on his, admiring the different shades of brown up close.

    “Any time,” he replied, dropping the dish towel onto the counter.

    “I’m really glad you found me and brought me back here,” you said softly. You knew he knew that already, but you felt as if you couldn’t tell him enough.

    “Of course. I couldn’t have left you out there,” he hummed out, his own voice softening.

    “Well, you could’ve. Plenty of people would’ve left me, or worse,” you sighed. “But you didn’t. You brought me here and gave me a safe place to live. I could never thank you enough for that.”

    “I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had left you,” he shook his head. “If it were anyone else, maybe. But you, I knew you before this whole world went to hell. I wasn’t leaving you behind.”

    His eyes looked so warm as they stayed on yours. You tried to reason with yourself. You were only imagining things because you had feelings for Joel. But on the other hand, your relationship with Joel just felt different. It felt like something more than a friendship.

    Then, you did something you’d never imagined having the courage to do.

    Stepping closer to Joel, you reached one hand up to gently hold one side of his jaw.

    Joel let out a soft sigh of your name, his hand coming up to grab your wrist and pull your hand away from his face.

    “I’m not the same man I was before,” he spoke quietly. “I’ve changed. You don’t know me anymore.”

    You could feel your heart drop into your stomach. A lump was already beginning to form in your throat. Pulling your hand away from Joel, you stepped back.

    “Right,” you nodded, looking anywhere but his face. “Well, thanks for helping with the dishes. I, uh, I should get some sleep. I’ve got an early shift tomorrow,” you stumbled over your words. Before Joel could reply, you practically ran out of the kitchen and to your bedroom.

    As the door was shut behind you, you leaned against the wood. You put a hand over your mouth as your eyes welled up. You’d fully embarrassed yourself in front of the one person you always wanted to impress. You weren’t sure how you’d face him again. 

    Laying in your bed, you stared at the wall, wondering if things between you and Joel could be normal again.

================

    You were caught up in your thoughts as you made your way to the stables. It had been two days since you’d talked to Joel. Things had been tense. Breakfast was awkward, and he hadn’t even been coming home for dinner. He’d been eating at the dining hall instead. You felt horrible.

    Walking into the stables, you were snapped out of your head when you saw a familiar face.

    “Hey, Tommy,” you greeted, giving him a small smile. “Didn’t know you were working here today,” you commented.

    “I switched out with Daniel,” he explained. “I wanted to see how Zeus was doing after being sick,” he added. He turned to the aforementioned horse, giving him a pat on the nose.

    “He’s doin’ really good,” you replied, walking over and giving Zeus a pet down his mane. “I can tell he’s feeling a lot better.”

    “Good,” he nodded in approval. “Listen, Zeus isn’t the only reason I switched shifts,” he sighed. “I wanted to talk to you.”

    “You could’ve just asked to talk to me,” you chuckled softly. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to talk to Tommy. He was a close friend, after all.

    “Wanted to make sure Joel wouldn’t be around,” he reasoned. “He’s been pissy for the past couple days. I was wonderin’ if you knew what was going on.”

    You stayed silent for a moment, distracting yourself with petting Zeus gently. He nuzzled into your hand, making you smile sadly. After a moment of internal debate, you decided to tell Tommy what had happened. You knew you could trust him.

    “It’s my fault,” you admitted, keeping your eyes on Zeus instead of having to look Tommy in the eyes. “We kinda, I don’t know what to call it, we had a weird moment. We were talking and having a nice talk, and then I misread things.”

    “Misread things?” Tommy asked, urging you to continue.

   “I almost kissed him,” you spoke quickly, wanting to rip off the bandaid. “And he stopped me, told me he wasn’t the man I knew anymore. So I went off to bed, and we haven’t talked since. He doesn’t even come back to the house for dinner.”

    Tommy was quiet. You grew worried, so you finally lifted your gaze to look at him. He looked confused.

    “Are we talking about the same man?” He spoke. “Joel, my brother. You’re telling me he said that to you?”

    “No, the other Joel,” you deadpanned. “Yes, Joel, your brother. Why wouldn’t I be talking about him?”

    “Because he’s always been real fond of you,” Tommy replied as if it was obvious. “Even before the outbreak. He just figured you were too young to be into him,” he shrugged. “He’s even talked about you since coming to Jackson. He said a few times that he wished  you were here. That he wondered what ever happened to you.”

    You didn’t speak. You stood there, your mouth open, but no words coming out. That certainly wasn’t what you were expecting Tommy to say. You tried and failed to get out something that made sense. All you managed was a few random syllables.

    Turns out, you didn’t need to say anything. Tommy knew you well enough.

    “Go find him,” he chuckled. “He’s working on fixing up a house a couple streets over from here.”

    Without another word, you nodded and walked out of the stables. You had to get to Joel and talk to him. You were practically running through Jackson until you came across the job site. Slowing down, you walked over and asked Ben, another former contractor, if he knew where Joel was. He informed you that he was around back, working on the back steps of the house.

    Following Ben’s directions, you rounded the house, trying to calm your nerves the most you could. You turned the corner and immediately spotted Joel. He was hunched over the bottom stair, pulling it off so he could replace it with a new board.

    “Joel,” you called out as you walked closer.

    Joel’s head popped up and he blinked a few times as he saw you.

    “Can we talk?” You finally asked once you were standing in front of him.

    The man in front of you stood, wiping one hand over his forehead to wipe the sweat away.

    “Yeah, sure,” he nodded, but he was stiffer than he used to be. He informed another man working on the house that he’d be back in a little bit.

    The two of you began to walk, making your way down the street so you could have some privacy. You wound up in the yard of an unoccupied house and finally stopped. Glancing around, you made sure that no curious ears were nearby.

    “I talked to Tommy,” you began nervously. “He asked me what was going on with you. So, I told him the truth.” Your voice was soft, maybe even a little unsure. “He told me about how you feel. About me, I mean.”

    “What did he tell you?” Joel asked, and you could practically hear him gulping.

    “He told me that you had feelings for me, before all this,” you answered. “And that you talked about me. Wishing I was here.”

    Joel was silent, unsure what to say.

    “I guess what I wanna know is if it’s true or not,” you finally said.

    “It is,” Joel confessed. “All of it’s true,” he confirmed.

    “If it’s true, why did you push me away?” You asked. “I  just, I don’t get it.”

    Pausing, Joel took a deep breath.

    “I don’t deserve you,” he replied simply. As if it was obvious.

    You sighed, taking a step closer to the man. You lifted both hands, placing them against his chest.

    “You’re a good man, Joel. I have never once doubted that,” you assured. “You deserve to have someone. We managed to find each other at the end of the world, against all odds. I think that means that we deserve to give this a shot. To give us a shot.”

    Joel’s hands come up to lay over yours, and for a moment you’re worried that he’s going to push you away again. Your nerves are calmed when, instead, he guided your arms around his shoulders. He leaned in, his own arms wrapping around your middle. 

    Slowly, his head dips down, his lips hovering just over yours. Unwilling to wait another second, you close the gap and press your lips against his. It was better than you could’ve imagined. You were melting into the man holding you, and you couldn’t be happier.

    Joel was the first to pull away, wanting to speak.

    “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice barely more than a mumble.

    “Never been more sure about anything,” you answered.

    Joel smiled at you, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he did. You had always loved his smile. He leaned in, giving you another quick kiss.

    “I should get back to the job,” he spoke, but made no move to pull away just yet.

    “Yeah, I need to get back to the stables to help Tommy,” you agreed. “I’ll see you at home tonight,” you smiled.

    “I won’t be late,” he responded, finally, reluctantly, letting go of you.

    “I’m cooking tonight. Are you gonna be home for dinner?” You asked.

    “Wouldn’t miss it,” he nodded. “Won’t miss it again,” he added, pecking your forehead.

    Joel gave you one last kiss before starting to walk back to the house he’d been working on. You had a wide grin on your face as you walked back to the stables. You knew there would be some teasing from Tommy, but it was worth it.

============

    “So, did you two finally get your shit together?” Ellie asked bluntly.

    You had all been sitting together in the living room after dinner, a Friends DVD playing on the tv. Ellie sat in an armchair while you and Joel sat next to each other on the couch.

    “What?” Joel furrowed his brows. “What the hell does that mean?”

    “Well it’s obvious that you’re in love or some shit,” she shrugged.

    You laugh softly at her response, shaking your head.

    “Hey, you shouldn’t be laughing,” Ellie stopped you. “Not when you’ve had a crush on Joel since he was your- what did you call it?- Hot older dilf neighbor?” Without another word, Ellie stands up and leaves you to explain yourself to Joel.

    You blink a few times before looking over at Joel, who was looking right back at you.

    “So I was your hot older neighbor, huh?” He grinned.

    You reach out an arm to smack his chest playfully.

    “Why else do you think I always happened to be outside when you were doing yard work without a shirt on?” You laughed, “I’m not religious, but I would thank God for making the Texas sun so fucking hot to work in.”

    “So you were ogling me?” Joel asked, his jaw dropped.

    “Oh yeah. Definitely ogling,” you nodded. There was no point in hiding it.

    “Here I was thinking I was perverted for liking a younger woman,” Joel huffed. “Turns out you were eyeing me like a piece of meat.”

    “The pervert was me the whole time,” you joked. “Just staring at your tits in the sun.”

    Joel laughed softly before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your lips.

    “That’s it,” he spoke against your lips. “You’re delusional, we’re going to bed.”

    Loving Joel was easy. Knowing that he came home to you each night, that he was finally yours after all those years of pining, it made living life in the apocalypse feel simple.

[wrongbodies]

Fanfic: Heart Stopped Pt. 1

The corridor of Truham Grammar School for Boys was bustling with activity as was normal for any morning of the week. Charlie wove his way through the crowds of boys joking, shoving, gabbing, and generally milling about. He was not one to cut a path through the throngs of his peers, instead he tried to pass in a manner that took up the least space, the least presence.

He lowered his eyes when he passed by one of the darkest presences in school, Ben Hope. His former fake boyfriend was glaring, and he could feel that gaze like lasers boring into his side. Whatever, he thought. I'm going to see Nick soon. That's all that matters.

The thought of Nick, and his thick, welcoming arms was enough to power him through that troublesome moment. And sure enough - passing into the classroom that they first got sat together in - there was Nick. Always early to the class, and always beaming right at Charlie when he walked in. It was like the sun. You know it's always there, and when you see it, you feel it's warmth. It's just... there for you, and you are in it's light.

"Hi." Nick says, smiling at Charlie, a shine in his eyes.

"Hi." Charlie said. They both chuckled, and Nick leaned in and placed a soft peck on Charlie's cheek. Charlie blushed. Even though they had been out for a while now, it still felt so special to get a kiss at school. And, of course, NOT in the sports equipment shed or an abandoned classroom.

Charlie Spring

"Lunch later?" Nick asked, lowering his voice to a whisper. The teacher was starting roll call.

"Yes." Charlie said. Low, too, but more because he still struggled with his eating issues. Nick put his large hand on Charlie's forearm and squeezed. The touch definitely quelled some of Charlie's anxiety.

Nick Nelson

Later, at lunch Charlie and Nick sat alone in the arts room. Mr. Ajaye had left them alone to go eat with Mr. Farouk somewhere else. The two were eating and laughing, enjoying each others company in a moment of privacy not often found during the school day.

Their peace was ruined by the sound of stomping feet. They both jumped a bit, since the arts room was never intruded upon - even by Tao!

They spun around to find none other than Harry, Charlie's main bully for the past year. He was red-faced and puffing.

"You stupid, little nerd." He seethed.

"Harry, can you just fuck off?!" Nick barked, standing up.

"Oh, give it a toss, Nick. I know you been snogging this little queer." He sneered. "But he got me suspended, him and his annoying friend, Bao or whatever."

Charlie was flushed red, his mouth instantly dry. He was staring down at the floor.

"Harry, I'm telling you: Fuck. Off." Nick commanded.

"Fine, but this isn't over. I will get you back for this." Harry threatened.

He left, storming away and swearing. Nick approached Charlie, and gently lifted his face with a finger under his chin. He brushed Charlie's cheek with his thumb.

"Are you ok?" He asked softly.

"I am. I think I was more surprised than anything." Charlie lied. He felt hollowed out. Nick was helping fill that void, though. He was his rock, in times like this.

"He won't mess with you if he knows what is good for him." Nick said, ominously.

Charlie sincerely hoped Harry knew what was good for him. He didn't want to end up in a fight like how Tao did.

The rest of the school day passed without incident. Charlie even started to relax. Unfortunately, walking out of the front gate he was stopped by Harry and his gang of popular kids.

Harry Greene

"Oi! Gay boy!" Harry called out. Charlie pointed his gaze down and tried to pass quickly. A firm hand on his shoulder stopped him, and pulled him around. He stood inches away from Harry. He could smell his breath, that was how close he was.

"What do you want, Harry?" Charlie asked, quivering.

"I want to get even. You got me suspended, and my folks were all over my case the whole time." Harry spat. He raised a fist.

"Harry! No!" A voice yelled distantly. Charlie saw over Harry's shoulder Nick, emerging from the school, sprinting. He wasn't fast enough though. Charlie saw in a blur the pinkish-white blur of Harry's fist hurtling towards his face.

The fist never connected. Charlie felt everything slip away, like the world fell away. And then suddenly it was back, like reality just slammed back into place all around him. He was instantly disoriented though. Somehow the world had reversed, or like he had been turned 180 degrees.

He felt his jacket grabbed from behind, and his body was spun about. "I should punch your face in for that, Harry!"

Charlie blinked in confusion. What? He couldn't see Harry at all, and he was wondering why Nick yelled that into his face.

"What are you talking about, Nick?" Charlie asked. "I don't know where Harry is."

"Very funny, you ass." Nick huffed. He then shoved Charlie to the side, where he stumbled a bit, but recovered. When he turned to face Nick, he was shocked at what he saw. Nick was helping someone up... someone who looked an awful lot like Charlie did.

What the hell?

Charlie then realized something. His body felt... different. There was no hunger. He didn't feel some of his usual compulsions, the obsessions. He looked down, and flexed his fingers and hands. These nails didn't look like his, the skin was a different hue as well.

He felt a phone in his pocket, and his face unlocked it, despite it being a completely different phone from his. Flicking it to the camera, he turned the camera and pointed it to his face.

Harry Greene stared incredulously back at him. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.

TBC

Note: I added pictures to this one, breaking my rule because these characters have an established appearance in the show, and I felt these images were fitting since they aren't original characters of mine.

[apollabarnes]

part one // part two // part three // part four // part five // part six // part seven // part eight // part nine // part ten // part eleven // part twelve // part thirteen // part fourteen // part fifteen // part sixteen // part seventeen

"shrapnel." tommy puts his coffee down, looks across to evan. "ready?"

"are you sure? we've barely been up for half an hour."

"it's easier when i'm tired," tommy confesses, "i lied when i said i don't talk to my dad much. sort of. he's been dead since i was in the army. so i don't talk to him a lot. or at all. for obvious reasons."

evan licks his lips. "thanks for telling me, tommy."

tommy wants to shrug the thanks off, knows that they ran into issues because he treated everything like it wasn't important. he takes the thank you. "you're welcome. there's more, but — later."

"metal screws," evan offers, like he understands. "ready?"

tommy thinks about evan throwing up blood, about metal pieces packed tight against tommy's side until he can get to a surgeon. "hit me."

"my parents didn't really want another kid. there's more to it than that, but…" evan picks at the placemat in front of him, "after the hospital," he decides, getting up and heading for the door.

"yeah." tommy follows after him, misses the loft when he has to step away from evan to get in his truck. at the loft they'd have ten minutes pressed shoulder to shoulder; here they have two dozen steps. "does maddie need anything before we head over?"

"mrs. lee came by last night with some clothes." evan hops into the passenger seat, tapping his fingers against his thigh as he carefully doesn't look at tommy. tommy aches. "are you coming in or dropping me off?"

"i don't have a shift today, so that's up to you."

"come in," evan asks.

"okay."

tommy does the math, pulls into a drive-thru, and orders a dozen breakfast burritos. he pauses, adds another six to the order, and gets a dozen black coffees with cream and sugar on the side.

they're not in a rush today; tommy skips the emergency entrance and cruises through the parking garage until they find a spot close to the elevators.

"i don't think we're going to eat eighteen burritos," evan says finally.

"we'll bribe the nurses with the leftovers. not a big deal."

"i heard the total, it's kind of a big deal," evan mutters, which makes tommy laugh.

"you take the coffee," tommy reaches over to grab the bags of food from evan's lap. "i'll get the doors."

may and harry are in with athena and bobby, and denny pops his head in when he smells the food. mara follows once denny gives her the all clear. tommy's extra burritos disappear at an alarming rate, and he has to corral enough for the adults before the kids can eat them all. he looks over at evan, raising an eyebrow.

"fine, you were right," evan rolls his eyes, "don't be smug about it."

athena finishes her coffee in record time and stands up. "kids, why don't you go and take the rest of the burritos and coffee around? i'll know if you eat them instead of handing them out. that means you, mister," she eyes them sternly, pointing at harry.

"i'm going to track some decent coffee down," she tells bobby, kissing his temple. "don't let buck smother you too much."

"hey!" evan protests with a laugh. he's been sitting on the edge of bobby's bed since they got there, so athena has a point.

"come on tommy, i need someone to carry the rest of them."

tommy glances over at the other two, sees them nod in unison and shrugs. "sure."

"hey, bobby, do you know where they ran—" athena closes the door behind her and evan's voice gets cut off.

"i vote we avoid the cafeteria," tommy says slowly, holding the elevator door open for her. athena looks like she hasn't slept all night. "there's a coffee shop on the other side of the block. we could sit down for a minute."

athena rubs her forehead, glancing around the empty elevator. "bobby couldn't feel his leg for three minutes this morning."

"wait, what?"

"they're running some more tests later today. it might be nerve damage from when he got tossed around during the explosion."

"okay. it was just three minutes, right?"

"yeah, but," athena sighs, "he told me it's been tingling since we got here last night."

[reesereadsalot]

𝐹𝒶𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒶

previous chapter - next chapter

Pairings: Finnick x pregnant!reader

Warnings: check series masterlist

Desc: Your 7 months pregnant with Finnicks baby. When your the happiest you were in your life, your whole world comes crashing down. You were reaped for the 3rd Quarter Quell.

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

｡𖦹°‧masterlist

a/n: I had to update the warnings because of this chapter lmao

You lean into Finnick’s touch. Tears are rolling down your face before you can stop them. You feel his land on your hand too. You pull out of the hug and kiss him. Those warm lips that you haven’t gotten to feel in a while. You pull out of the kiss and plant a kiss on his cheek then his nose. Before you know it, you’re kissing his entire face and he lets out a shaky chuckle.

“I’m so, so sorry Y/N.” He says pulling you into another hug, a tear rolling down his face.

“Shh. It’s okay.” You prop Ronan up on one arm to wipe away Finnick’s tears. He looks down at Ronan and he does something he rarely does. He cries. Full on sobs at Ronan. “Here, you want to hold him?” You ask Finnick putting Ronan in his arms.

“What’s his name?” He asks caressing Ronan’s pink cheeks.

“Ronan.” You say smiling at him. He looks up at you.

“I love it.” He says as he picks up Ronan and holds him up on front of his face. “And I love you.” He cooes at the baby and kisses him on the nose. You just laugh.

Doctors come moments later to check you out. You don’t want to leave Finnick or Ronan but they said they were going to have to sedate you if you didn’t corporate. Finnick’s blood was boiling when they told you that but you assured him that it was fine. He follows as the doctors bring you to a room. They placed you in a room with all white walls. A room that you’re all too familiar with. You panic.

“Let me out! Let me out please!” You sob scratching at the door. “I’ll be good, I promise! You don’t need to hurt me or my baby!” You scream. You feel as if you’re back in the capitol. The same capitol that threatened you and your baby’s life. A person comes up behind you and sedates you.

You wake up to loud cries. You look over to see Finnick sitting with Ronan. He cooes at Ronan and bounces him up and down but he won’t stop crying. He tries to shush him but it doesn’t work. When he notices you’re awake, he feels horrible. He can’t even take care of his own child.

“Here, give him to me. He’s probably hungry. He got your appetite and your eyes.” You say smiling at him as he hands you Ronan. “You’re going to see my boob. Are you sure you’re up for that?” You ask him with a laugh.

“Well,” He begins, leaning closer to your ear and whispers “I have seen all of you already. I don’t think this is anything new.” You bark out a laugh.

You unclip the breast feeding bra they gave you and hold Ronan up to your chest. He begins to suck on your breast and eat. He immediately stops crying, letting out a few whines. You stroke his cheek gently. Making sure to save this moment.

“He cries for many reasons,” You say to Finnick “but mainly from being hungry. But, if he isn’t hungry or needs to be changed, he’s probably crying about something silly.” Finnick looks at you and takes in every word you say. He hums along as you continue. “I mean, I was with him for—for” you start to confuse yourself. How long has it been since he was born?

“The doctors did some tests. He’s 2 weeks old.” Finnick says trying to calm you down. You can’t help it when tears start to pour.

“I just,” you began “I just feel as if I’ve taken something away from you. You missed your own son’s birth and I feel as if it’s my fault.” Hot tears roll down your cheeks as you cry. You’ve never been one to sob. Only when Ronan is taken away or when the Quarter Quell was anounced.

“It’s not your fault.” Finnick says wiping your tears. Ronan has just got done breast feeding. “I promise you, it’s not your fault. There’s always next time.” Finnick says with a chuckle.

“How do you know there will be a next time?” You ask laughing. You pull Ronan away from your breast and clip the bra up. “Will you help me with the gown?” You ask Finnick and he ties the gown around your neck so you’re covered up.

“I know because you love me and we have always talked about have more than one kid.” He says stroking your face. You just let out a laugh before your dragged into sleep again.

You wake in a cold sweat. Another nightmare about the Capitol taking Ronan and Finnick. The two boys you care about most. You look at your surroundings. You’re in a room. Not the same sterile room you were in before but a grey looking room. It feels like a normal bedroom but gloomy. It’s not home but it’s comfortable. You see a crib to the side of you where Ronan sleeps peacefully. As you’re about to get up and check on Ronan, you notice a strong, warm arm around your waist. Finnick. He’s has always been a cuddly person.

You lie awake thinking about everything. Your time in the Capitol, Ronan, Finnick, most of all District 13 and the rebellion. You occasionally look at Finnick, taking in all his features that you waited so long to see or you look over at Ronan as he sleeps peacefully. You stay awake until an alarm clock beeps loudly. You jump, startled by the abrupt noise. Finnick stirs and you turn around to look at him. You caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. Then you turn over to turn off the clock but you’re not sure how. Ronan starts crying as he has just been awoken.

“How do you turn this damn thing off?” You ask Finnick, hitting the clock with frustrated grunts.

“Here, let me do it. You don’t want to beat it up.” He says with a chuckle taking it from your hands and turning it off. He frowns lightly at your under eyes bags but doesn’t push.

“Baby, shh.“ you say picking up Ronan from the crib, cradling him in your arms. “It’s okay. The noise scared me too” you coo at him. Finnick comes up behind you and places his arms around your waist.

“I don’t know why you were ever nervous about having a baby. You are great at this.” He says booping Ronan on the nose then kissing your temple. He walks away and scans his arm under some weird machine. “Here put your wrist under it.” He says gesturing for you to do it.

“Okay.” You say suspiciously before propping Ronan onto one arm. Before you can scan your wrist Finnick interrupts you.

“Here, let me take him. I think he needs to be changed.” He takes Ronan from your arms and walks over to the changing table that was added to your room. You scan your arm and a schedule pops up.

“Woah. Weird.” You say in awe and Finnick just chuckles. The schedule isn’t too bad.

8:00 AM Breakfast

8:30 AM Meeting

9:30 AM Training

12:00 PM Lunch

12:30 PM Reflection

6:00 PM Dinner

8:00 PM Lights Out

The one thing you wonder while looking at this list is who will take care of Ronan. You voice this concern.

“Who will take care of Ronan while we’re out doing stuff?” You ask, facing him as he finishes changing Ronan.

“There’s a pre-school here. Don’t worry about it not being safe. Only three kids are in it so they will be able to tend to his needs.” Finnick says facing you and picking up Ronan. “We should get ready it’s almost time for breakfast.” You nod and slip out of the grey PJS and slip into the grey uniform that apparently everyone wears in District 13.

“Does everyone here hate color?” You ask Finnick. “You know I love color. This is just upsetting. Ronan will have an arrested development from the lack of it.” You say brows knitting together.

“We’re only going to be here till the war ends. Then we can have as much color as you would like.” He says placing a kiss on your lips.

He goes to pull away but you stop him. You kiss him harder. Not in a hungry way but a loving way. You entwine your fingers with his hair to pull him closer to you. Your tongue slides against his lips asking for an entrancd. He gives it to you and before you know it, you are both making out. You are both stuck in a trance. You forget the world around you. You both break away to take a breath. You place one last light kiss on his lips.

“Open that drawer right there.” He says gesturing to the drawer. You look into your draw of items they gave Finnick to keep and you see your rainbow lace panties and your butterfly necklace.

“They gave you these?” You say holding them up as you grin ear to ear. Finnick looks back at you and smiles.

“Yea, they let me go to District 4 and grab some of your things because I missed you so much.” He says with a chuckle. You squeal with excitement and jump up and down.

“Thank you so much! I’m going to put them on right now!” You said taking off your grey pants. “I missed you color!” You kiss the panties and the necklace and Finnick laughs. You slip off the white panties your wearing and put the rainbow ones on. “Can you help me with the necklace?” You ask Finnick.

“Of course.” Finnick says walking over to you and clasping the necklace around your neck.

You grab Ronan and cradle him in your arms before placing a kiss on his nose. You show him the necklace with a smile. You prop him up against one arm and use your free hand to hold Finnick’s. Your fingers intertwine and mold together. Like they’re meant to be there. Meant to stay there forever.

You stop on your way to drop Ronan off at the Pre-School. You were weary but Finnick reassured you. You still had anxiety for him in the back of your mind though. When you get to breakfast there’s already a line. You groan and Finnick laughs. Your stomach was grumbling loudly in the line. It feels forever before you can sit down and eat your food. You notice Katniss is missing. You expected for Peeta and Johanna not to be here but Katniss. She wasn’t sick.

“Hey, where is Katniss?” You ask Finnick as you take another bite of random purple slop. It’s better than what you had in the Capitol.

“I don’t know if you want to know.” He says but your face urges him to go one. “She hugged Peeta when you guys got back from the Capitol and Peeta…” he pauses “Peeta choked Katniss. Now her throat is damaged which is why she’s not here. She’s in the hospital.” You gasp. You remember how Peeta looked when you were in the hovercraft. How he looked when he decided to warn the rebels. A war going on in his mind.

“Well, we have to help him. There has to be some solution, right?” You ask Finnick.

“I’m not sure but after breakfast, we can skip the meeting and go ask.” He says as he takes a bite of bread. You stare at it. You were still hungry after eating your rations. He looks around then slides it onto your plate. You kiss him as a thank you before eating it. As you eat you think about what has happened to Peeta.

Part 8

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One

Full series ONLY on AO3

NSFW

Steve has a range of acceptable beer. He had picked up a six pack of something from uncomfortably near the bottom of that range to take over to Wayne’s place. He had stared at it, where it had been sitting on the passenger seat, and remembers, vividly, second guessing this whole thing before he’d finally picked up the beer and gotten out of his car.

Steve’s pretty sure he had never been inside a trailer once in his damned life before today, and he had absolutely no idea what to expect. From the outside it had looked...cramped. Steve’s pretty certain his bedroom is bigger than the whole place. Fuck, maybe his en suite bathroom is bigger.

Steve had done his best to prepare himself to be polite about whatever it was he was about to walk into. It hadn’t mattered though, in the end, since Eddie had done a pretty solid job of carrying the conversation.

Wayne’s a stoic kind of guy, which Steve can get behind, because it meant he didn’t have to talk much either.

Steve doesn’t think he will ever forget the look on Eddie’s face when he’d opened the trailer door. Eddie had fucking lit up at the sight of Steve. Hadn’t even tried to hide it. It makes Steve’s skin itchy even now, hours later, while somehow simultaneously something flaps about in his stomach at the memory, “oh wow, you bought the really good beer!” Eddie had been thrilled by that too, and had taken the beer and put it in the fridge.

Which he had made it to in about four steps because the kitchen is like, right there. And Steve had taken one step in through the door and found himself in the middle of the lounge, which is, efficient, he guesses.

Steve thinks he could have appeared with six screw tops filled with piss and Eddie still would have been happy with him.

“Here, come sit at the table, Wayne’s about done with dinner.”

“Errr...thanks.” Eddie had pointed Steve to a cramped little built in breakfast nook type thing, and Steve had slid in just as the grumpy looking old man appeared from down the hall.

It was fucking awkward getting in, and it was even more awkward getting straight back out again so he could shake Wayne’s hand, “good to see you again Sir.”

Steve got a firm handshake, and then not two minutes later he was eating the first bite of what might be the best thing he’s ever put in his mouth. Wayne Muson makes a pot roast that should win a Michelin Star. Who could have fucking predicted that.

Steve’s lying on a little bed arrangement Eddie has made. Layers of blankets on top of an old threadbare comforter; all the padding pushed together into uncomfortable lumps. The view is good though, Eddie has the van doors thrown open, so Steve can clearly see the night sky from where he’s lying, feet toward the back of the front seats, head near the edge of the open doors.

They’re in the middle of nowhere, somewhere Steve’s never been before and had no reason to, because there’s nothing here. Literally nothing. It makes for a good view of the stars though, and Steve figures enduring the short trip in Eddie’s rattling van was worth it.

The stars feel...persistent. They are pretty, but make Steve feel oddly cold, and distant. He can’t remember ever doing anything like this, just...being. In the quiet. He doesn’t even have much in the way of cell signal here, so he leaves it abandoned by his feet. It’s...strange. Feeling so small and insignificant. The stars clearly don’t give a shit about anything Steve might get up to.

Eddie’s shuffling around, lighting a couple of candles; he puts them in chipped tin mugs so they don’t fall over, they still sit wonkily through, resting against the rim, dripping wax into the dirt.

Steve realizes about four seconds too late that this is definitely romantic. This is the sort of shit Steve does when he wants to get his dick wet. He has no idea how he didn’t see it coming; he’s just met Eddie’s family, essentially. And now he’s looking at the stars and there are candles lit.

They’re not at Wayne’s place or the shared house, they have total privacy.

Eddie’s about to give it up for him. Finally.

The initial wash of excitement quickly dulls into inexplicable disappointment. Steve was...enjoying this. And he knows Eddie really likes him and...Steve’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to hurt Eddie, even if he firmly believes it’s a life lesson Eddie needs to learn and like...learn fast.

Steve’s never committed though. Not ever. He thinks about Robin, cooking in her kitchen, and wonders vaguely what that must be like. She’s just...adapted so easily, decided to change her ways for Chrissy and then just...done it. She made it look easy.

She made it seem...right. Normal. Like Steve was the odd one out.

Maybe he is.

Does he need to keep living his life like he is? Steve stares at the stars, and he wonders.

He wonders what it would be like to keep seeing Eddie. To only see Eddie. To really, really get to know each other. To maybe have Eddie be the person who knows him best in the world. Well, second best, Robin’s never going to lose the top spot.

What would it be like to give Eddie a key to his place, to have Eddie’s ratty shirts hanging out of a drawer Steve cleared out for him. Eddie’s guitar leaning against the couch and his clutter ruining the Feng Shui of Steve’s otherwise immaculate lounge.

Maybe a dish in the sink, because maybe someone actually hung around long enough to eat breakfast. Maybe some spare boots left untidily at the front door, and maybe Steve would bitch about them every time he comes in.

Steve has space; Eddie doesn’t have a lot of space at the trailer. Everything is so cramped in Eddie’s room, plus Wayne is there...so that’s why Eddie said to Steve about coming out here.

But there’s space at Steve’s place, plenty of it. Eddie could have a room; a room filled with things and stuff like Eddie seems to like. His bedroom at the trailer is full of crap, and his bedroom at the shared place is likewise full of crap. Stands to reason Eddie could fill a room at Steve’s place with crap easily enough.

Maybe he’d like a decent space for painting those little people he likes so much; Steve could buy him a fancy craft lamp.

Eddie clatters into the back of the van, long limbs flailing, startling Steve out of his reverie. It makes Steve smile though, even as he has to pull a leg sharply out of the way to avoid being trodden on as Eddie ditches his jacket over onto the drivers seat before lying down next to Steve, head propped up on one hand, he looks down at Steve, “hey.”

Just that is enough to make Steve laugh, “come here often?”

“Yeah, actually, I kind of like the quiet-” Eddie starts to answer honestly, completely oblivious. Steve snorts a laugh, “-what?”

“You know, like a cheesy pick up line in a movie, ‘come her often?’”

“Oooohhh, right, yeah, gotcha,” Eddie looks a little embarrassed.

“Tell me anyway,” Steve finds himself saying.

“Right, yeah...I like the quiet and, you know. When I’m writing a song or a new campaign or something, or just reading. The trailer can be a little cramped and I don’t like disturbing uncle Wayne when he comes home from work in the morning, so I don’t hang out there much. And the house is busy you know? Those guys can be pretty noisy. No light around out here so the sky…” Eddie trails off, craning his head back to look up and out, “the stars are amazing here.”

Steve tilts his head back too, looking at the splash of stars across the night sky. Steve’s pretty sure he’s never been anywhere this dark. He’s pretty sure he’d remember all those extra stars in the sky, if he’d seen them before, “yeah. They are.”

Eddie looks pale and pretty in the meager candle light, and Steve pulls him down for a kiss. Eddie goes easily. Steve’s kissed Eddie enough now that it’s kind of familiar. Kind of...reliable feeling, which is fucking novel for Steve.

He feels himself settle into it, feels himself start to relax. Is this what it feels like, to become comfortable with someone?

To settle?

The feeling inexplicably twists Steve’s stomach with a little fear, and he pulls away. Eddie’s eyes are heavy lidded already, blinking down at Steve. He looks chill too. Content and...happy.

Steve has the sudden and, frankly, batshit urge to throw himself bodily out of the back of the van and flee into the night.

He does not do that, obviously.

“How am I supposed to ask?” he says instead.

“Ask what?”

“Well, when I said can I fuck you yet, you said-”

“Not if that’s how you’re going to ask me, yeah, same answer.”

“So...how do you want me to ask?”

Eddie grins, “I’m like the sphinx, it’s a riddle and you have to get the answer right,” Steve does not understand that reference, “or maybe you just got to know the magic words?”

Steve grins, amused, and tries, “open sesame.”

Eddie snorts, “a bit literal, no?”

“Too on the nose?”

“Kinda’.”

“How about just, please?” Steve tries, pulling Eddie down into another kiss, but Eddie leans away, resisting.

He’s biting his lip nervously, “you know I’ve never done this before? I’m...a little nervous? Like what if I...really don’t like it?”

Steve shrugs, kind of feels like he’s gentling a skittish horse, “then we stop?” he offers, shrugging.

Eddie nods, agreeing, Steve figures it’s a simple enough reassurance, but then Eddie asks, “do you like it?”

And Steve’s brain stalls out because it’s not something he’s ever had to answer before. Because. The thing is, the answers kind of a trap. If Steve tells Eddie he likes it, Eddie might suggest they do that first and...yeah. Steve’s more of a top kind of guy. If he says he doesn’t like it...well. That could be catastrophic for Eddie’s faith in the whole thing...proceeding.

“It’s...okay,” Steve starts slowly, “I mean it’s fine but...I’d rather not.”

“Oh,” Eddie frowns a little, “so you’re expecting me to do something you won’t?” Eddie’s tone is curious. It’s not an accusation, not yet anyway. Eddie really, really isn’t any good at playing the game. He asks questions no one else would ever ask. Because everyone else Steve has ever been with has just understood the assignment straight off the bat. Steve is himself; they roll over and let Steve takes what he wants.

As long as everything is consensual and everyone's having fun, this sort of shit has never been a problem in the past. Steve’s partners have always just...known their role. Not Eddie though. Eddie fucking calls him out on everything.

“It’s not that I won’t,” Steve tries, and he feels like squirming, feels like Eddie’s cut very uncomfortably close to the bone, “it’s just...very...vulnerable,” and that’s not a feeling Steve enjoys, like, at all, “and I know I can look after you,” he reaches up, runs his fingers through Eddie’s unruly curls, “I can make it good for you.”

“And what if I want to look after you? I feel like...not a lot of people do that, for you.”

And if Eddie was slicing close to the bone before, he’s just fully twisted the knife.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve mutters, looking away, the words out before he can stop them. Feels like Eddie’s big brown cow eyes are staring right into his soul and Steve just...can’t handle that.

Eddie’s leaning down now, undoing the next few buttons of Steve’s shirt, kissing softly along Steve’s throat, “you going to let me do this for you?”

Steve blinks, bringing a hand up to cradle the back of Eddie’s head and keep his mouth pressed firmly to his neck. Because Steve’s eyes are wet and he has no idea why.

He holds Eddie close, gives himself a few seconds to quickly scrub away the moisture before Eddie sees it because what in the actual fuck is wrong with him??

“Stevie?” Eddie whispers into Steve’s skin, “let me love you?”

Jesus fucking Christ. Steve’s breath hitches without his permission, and it feels like he’s floating right out of his body. It certainly isn’t him in the driving seat when his mouth moves and Steve hears himself saying, “yes.”

Eddie strips off fast, pulling a blanket up, but by the time Steve has his shirt buttons undone, Eddie’s hand is there, stopping him. Steve lets his hand fall away. Eddie untucks his shirt, leaning down, naked ass in the air, kissing along the skin that becomes exposed as he tugs the material free.

Eventually he runs out of places to kiss, and Steve half sits up, letting Eddie help him pull the shirt, and then under shirt, off completely. Steve lies down, at a little bit of a loss. He’s the one who does this stuff. He’s the seducer, always.

But Eddie’s deft fingers are at his belt, and then Steve is being encouraged, with soft words he doesn’t deserve, to lift his ass off the lumpy bedding so Eddie can pull his pants and boxers off together.

Steve shivers; it’s nothing to do with the fucking cold, but Eddie pulls a scratchy blanket up over both of them anyway. He reaches for something; he already had lube and condoms out apparently, on the bed of the van.

Steve must have been staring at the stars and having his minor crisis while Eddie sorted that, because Steve totally missed it. Eddie’s half hard already, pressed up against Steve’s thigh, but Steve suddenly feels kind of...like this is happening to someone else.

Or maybe not that but...it’s just so weird he doesn’t know how to process it. Eddie’s squeezing some lube onto his fingers and honestly it’s been fucking years since Steve trusted someone enough to do this with them. He’s a bit...lost as to how he got here. This whole thing suddenly feels like it’s happening very quickly, and Steve’s not panicking exactly, but the feeling of not being the one who's running the show is...incredibly foreign.

This whole evening has taken a fucking turn and Steve has no hope of getting it back on track now.

“I’ve done a bunch of reading, you know, online, but you say, okay?”

And Eddie’s nudging Steve’s thigh with the back of his hand, and Steve obligingly bends a knee, lifts a thigh, spreads himself out for Eddie under the blanket and is suddenly plagued with the idea that he doesn’t want to take the control back.

He doesn’t think. He doesn’t even know. And he’s so busy thinking about it that Eddie has a wet finger in his ass and is giving it a little twist and a curl, with an accuracy that has got to be beginners fucking luck, absolutely nails Steve’s prostate.

Steve has no control whatsoever over the noise that comes out of him because holy fucking Christ he’d actually managed to forget how good this could feel.

“There?” Eddie confirms, like he needs to. Steve just made a noise like a guinea pig being trodden on, like Eddie needs to fucking ask.

Anyone else and Steve would be telling them off for being fucking smug. Not Eddie though, no, Eddie who’s blinking down at him with his huge brown eyes. Eddie who's made them a candlelit bed under the stars because it’s the most honestly romantic thing he could probably come up with, and spending money on anything is not something that has ever even mattered to Eddie Munson.

Probably never even crossed his mind that they could be doing this in a nice hotel room.

Hell, they could be doing this at Steve’s.

But no. They’re here. In a place where they’re going to have to drive home sticky because there’s no where for them to have a fucking wash, and if Steve wants to piss after he’s going to have to go in a bush.

It’s still easily the nicest thing anyone has ever done for him.

And Eddie’s there, with more lube and a second finger and despite how long it’s been, Steve knows he’s taking it like a champ. Eddie’s being nice. Too nice. The gentleness of it is grating at Steve, “I can take another.”

“Not yet,” Eddie tells him gently, fingers working soft and careful inside Steve’s body, “don’t want to hurt you.”

Jesus. Steve’s got nothing. Absolutely nothing he can say to that. And then Eddie’s kissing him, every now and then the curl of his fingers strikes true, Steve’s cock kicking and twitching a little under the itchy blanket, Eddie’s cock leaking steady and sticky on Steve’s thigh.

Eddie adds a third finger after the last glaciers have melted. Steve’s loose and sloppy enough he’s pretty confident he could take a fist, never mind Eddie’s dick.

“Ready, love?”

And Steve’s fucking chest feels like it’s going to cave in at the pet name, but he says, “yes,” anyway.

The out of body experience comes back a little as he watches Eddie roll on a condom and slick up his cock.

He finds himself wondering, again, as Eddie climbs on top, settles himself between Steve’s thighs, exactly how this happened. How did they get here?

If Eddie says, ‘I love you,’ in the middle of all this nonsense Steve will actually yeet himself to the fucking moon.

And then Eddie’s...pushing in. Steve’s glad for Eddie’s skinny left leaning cock, because honestly it goes in like a dream and...fuck, the curve hits just right and Steve finds his legs lifting reflexively, thigh’s bracketing Eddie’s body without his input.

“Ready baby?”

“Yeah,” Steve tells him, and his voice sounds like it’s been dragged over by sandpaper and he blinks rapidly because like fuck is he going to cry. He’s not.

He won’t.

Despite the emotion ballooning in Steve’s chest, he holds it together.

Eddie’s first thrust is long, he withdraws pretty much the whole way before sliding all the way back in. It feels like he’s making sure Steve knows damn well he’s filled. Steve can’t help the little chuff of pleasure he makes when Eddie’s dick bullseyes his prostate on the way past. The curve of his cock is fucking devastating.

“Do that again,” Steve finds himself saying, he's not begging, and Eddie is fucking eager to oblige.

He gets a rhythm, gets his movements coordinated will enough, and then he’s leaning down, hunching over Steve to get his mouth on Steve’s nipple and Steve does cry out then, holds Eddie’s head reflexively. Eddie gets him wet, his panting breaths chill against Steve’s peaked nipples.

Steve can't remember the last time someone did things for him. Not like this.

And then Eddie’s leaning away again, pulling back, sitting upright and dragging the blanket off both of them. He’s sitting up enough that he can look down, and Steve knows what he’s doing. Eddie’s transfixed, staring at the place where he’s in Steve, and Jesus that’s hot too, being watched like that, being exposed. Being helpless on his back, can only stay and take it as Eddie’s thrusts suddenly turn into quick, sawing movements, Steve unable to hold back the ‘oh, oh, oh,’ every time Eddie drags the spongy head of his cock across Steve’s sweet spot.

Eddie reaches down, questing fingers pressing at Steve’s rim, exploring the place where they’re joined, Eddie wide eyed and face flushed, free hand holding Steve by the knee.

Eddie hand explores further, knuckling at the space behind Steve’s balls, and pressing hard on the next thrust and, “Jesus fuck,” Steve cries out, “what have you been reading???”

“Might have been Cosmo sex tips.”

“Fuck off,” but Eddie’s smiling and Steve laughs a little and Steve can't remember laughing with anyone during sex, not really.

And then Eddie’s hand gives Steve’s balls a quick squeeze on the way past and then his hand is wrapped around Steve's cock and any laughter dies in his throat.

Eddie slows a little, clearly coordinating jacking Steve and thrusting his hips, a look of sweet concentration on his face, tongue poking out a little. And then he gets it, and Steve already knows his balls are tight and it’s really not going to take much, “gonna’ come if you keep doing that.”

“Good, can’t hold on much more. You feel so good inside.”

Eddie’s grip on Steve’s leg turns a little punishing, and Steve watches as his eyes flutter and he he manages a choked out, “Steve,” and Steve's never thought an orgasm face was, you know, that attractive before now, but Eddie’s really fucking is. Mouth soft and slack, eyes wide and almost a little lost looking, a little confused, but he keeps moving, keeps jacking even has he’s moaning and grinding and his cock is kicking hard inside of Steve.

And Steve comes all over himself, reaching down to steady Eddie’s hand as he works him through it, body clenched down tight on Eddie’s cock, like he never wants it to leave. Eddie moans again, Steve's hole is fluttering now, pulsing as his cock spurts it’s last.

Eddie’s not pulling out, but he’s got two fingers down there, tucked tight between their bodies to hold the base of the condom, letting go of Steve’s knee and leaning down for a desperate kiss.

Steve returns it; he’s feeling desperate too.

He feels soft inside, feels like he wants to keep Eddie tight to him just a little longer. And then just a little more.

Eventually Eddie pulls away, pulls out, Steve hisses, and Steve doesn’t really have the energy to be any more surprised by Eddie’s forethought tonight, but he pulls a packet of baby wipes from somewhere. He ties off the condom and wraps it up in one, and then pulls out a few more, carefully wiping Steve’s come off his stomach. Then another fresh wipe to give the sticky head of Steve’s cock a cursory wipe. And then another to, carefully, gently, clean the worst of the lube from between Steve’s cheeks and off his asshole. The wipe is cool; feels nice.

Eddie wads the mess up together and ditches it, curling up with Steve under the blanket.

“Thank you,” Eddie whispers, pecking a light kiss to Steve's jaw before snuggling into Steve’s chest. Steve wraps him up in his arms.

“For what?”

He feels Eddie shrug, and the blanket is still itchy as fuck, “trusting me? Letting me...love you.” Eddie sounds shy all of a sudden.

Huh.

“Well...maybe you’ll, uhm,” Steve swallows thickly, “let me love you. Next time?”

“Yeah. Sounds awesome,” Eddie yawns.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep,” Steve warns almost reflexively. He’s seen first hand now just how fast Eddie can pass out if Steve lets him. Steve is...still kind of surprised that he’s enjoying cuddling with Eddie, but he’s still sticky despite the wipes, and he is naked on the hard floor of a van, only vaguely cushioned by the substandard bedding.

“I won’t. I just want to snuggle a little longer.”

Steve sighs, feels vaguely like he might get struck by lightning for offering. Feels like he’s committing some kind of sin. Feels like he’s offering commitment, “come back to mine, we can shower...then you can cuddle all you want.”

“All night?” Eddie asks tentatively. It’s like he fucking knows that...that’s kind of a boundary for Steve.

“Yeah,” Steve takes a deep breath, can sort of imagine Robin hovering nearby, telling what an utter piece of shit he will be if he doesn’t follow up, so he does it. He pulls the band aid off. Squeezes his eyes tight closed, and leaps bodily off the edge, “yeah, for as long as you want.”

Eddie lifts his head up, just so he can grin at Steve. Just so he can show Steve, honestly, how fucking happy Steve's just made him.

And Steve hasn’t been struck by lightning.

“For as long as you’ll have me, big boy,” and Eddie fucking winks at him.

Steve sighs, exasperated, but undeniably fond, even if the feeling is incredibly alien to him, “what have I gotten myself into?”

They get dressed to the sound of Eddie’s ugly sniggering laughter.

Steve can’t help but be charmed by it.

[quicksilver-castiel]

And finally they see Eye to eye

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Pairing: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims

Archive warnings: None

Rating: Teen and up

Summary:

When Martin goes on an extended weekend trip, that leaves Jon alone with the newest addition to their lives: Their cat Butterscotch. So far, the relationship between Jon and Butterscotch has been a little rocky. He isn't convinced that this weekend will change that, though for once he would be glad to be proven wrong.

Author's note:

This was written for @jonsimsandcats Day! Because there can never be enough stories with Jon and cats in them.

This is an AU and can technically be read as a continuation of In a cat's Eye, but all you need to know is that the boys are alive and well, still working for the Institute, and adopted a cat that's so, so normal, I prommy. :)

Read on AO3 or below the cut

“There’s stew in the fridge, and I bought those mini pretzels you like if you need a snack,” Martin said quickly as he put on his backpack. Jon watched him silently and patiently, knowing that he wasn’t done yet. “Oh, and there’s an open can of food for Butterscotch in the fridge as well, so don’t open a new one today. Um, there’s still some pizza in the freezer, but there’s also rice and veggies if you feel like cooking. I threw out the tuna because it was past the best before date and I know you always say it’s fine as long as it smells fine, but you really shouldn’t risk it.”

“Martin,” Jon interjected gently, trying to hold down a smile, “you’ll only be gone for three days. I promise I’ll manage not to starve.”

Martin didn’t look convinced. If anything, he just seemed more worried. “You’re very capable in a lot of ways, but historically, taking care of yourself has not been one of them.”

Jon rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that Martin was necessarily wrong. But he was being rude.

“I promise I’ll eat. And feed Butterscotch.” Jon grinned. “I know you would be more heartbroken if something happened to her than if it did to me.”

Martin scowled at him, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I don’t know, you’ve been spending a lot of time with her. When was the last time I got to sit in your lap?” Jon asked, raising an eyebrow.

He was teasing, of course. Mostly.

Martin’s lap was rather comfortable, and he enjoyed being fully enveloped by his fiance’s body, held tightly to his chest by big arms.

Which was rather difficult to achieve when there was a cat contentedly purring in said spot.

Martin huffed, but a small smile tugged at his lips. “At least try to get along while I’m gone, yeah?”

Jon shrugged. “I’m not the problem. Butterscotch simply isn’t a fan of me.”

“Well, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to get some bonding time in.” Martin checked his watch, and cursed under his breath. “Shit, I need to go. See you on Sunday.”

“Have a good trip.” Jon gladly accepted the goodbye kiss Martin gave him before turning towards the door. “Text me when you get there.”

“The internet might be spotty, but I’ll try to send something. Bye!” With that, Martin was out of the door, off to the great adventure of a hiking trip on the Western coast.

Jon sighed as he thought of the days ahead of him. He was meeting Georgie on Saturday for a few hours, but apart from that, he would be alone.

Well, there was Butterscotch.

Jon sighed again. This would be a long weekend.

Jon approached the cat tree slowly, broadcasting his intentions. Butterscotch had already noticed him, her ears twitching in his direction every time his cane hit the linoleum floor, but it took a moment for her to turn her working eye on him.

The other eye was gone, scars running over that side of her face where another cat had attacked her. There was some sort of poetic irony in two followers of the Eye adopting a cat who had lost one of her eyes, Jon thought, though he supposed that might have been part of what had drawn Martin to the little furball.

Butterscotch regarded Jon haughtily from the top of what Martin called her throne, which considering what they had paid for the bloody thing, wasn’t all too far from the truth.

“Well,” Jon said as he stopped far enough away from the tree for Butterscotch not to be able to claw him while sitting on it. “I suppose now it’s just us.” He raised the bag of treats he had brought, and shook it.

Butterscotch’s ears perked up, and she looked down at Jon’s hand.

Jon smiled. “Didn’t expect to get treats from me, huh? Well, Martin isn’t here to spoil you, so someone has to.”

Butterscotch kept watching, her one eye darting from the packaging to the little nuggets Jon shook out into his palm.

He spread a few of them out over the cat tree so Butterscotch would have to climb a bit to get them. Then he put a handful into the toy specifically designed to make it challenging to get them out.

Finally, he straightened again, looking up at the queen herself.

“Well?” he said.

Butterscotch’s tail moved slightly, visible beyond the platform she was lying on. Apart from that, she made no move to leave her throne.

“You’re a tough nut to crack, huh.” Jon took out a few more treats, then returned the package to its usual (cat-proof) spot.

Afterwards, he sat down on the sofa, and waited.

And waited.

Butterscotch had put her head back onto her paws, but she was watching him with slow blinks, as though she wasn’t quite sure yet what his angle was.

“You know, it’s good that you like him so much. If you didn’t, Martin would only be blaming himself for it,” Jon rambled. “But it wouldn’t hurt for you to trust me a little more, you know.”

Really, if Butterscotch hadn’t liked Martin, then she would likely still be at the shelter, and her name would still be Tart.

Jon wasn’t even sure why he was talking to Butterscotch in the first place. Maybe he was subconsciously trying to make her get used to his voice.

Or maybe he had simply been lonely since Martin had walked out the door. Oh, good Lord, that would be pathetic.

“Martin says that we're similar, but I don’t really think so.” Jon leaned his chin in his hand, his elbow digging into his good leg. “At least I didn’t immediately see how lovely Martin is, while you realised it seemingly at first glance.” Jon hummed. “Then again, when he first met you, he didn’t immediately start talking about a dog.”

Butterscotch's tail swished a little more erratically, and her little face seemed to scrunch up in distaste. Jon was probably imagining it. There was no way that a cat could have understood his words, right?

“Well, Martin isn’t always right. He keeps comparing me to cats, anyway, when I'm clearly human.” 

Butterscotch just kept blinking at him, looking unimpressed.

Jon pursed his lips. “Or something like it. No need to look so judgemental.”

Jon was arguing with a cat. Great.

Maybe Martin had been right to be worried about him, after all.

Sighing, Jon leaned back on the sofa, his eyes falling closed. After such a long time of being, and living, together, he supposed he had not just gotten used to Martin’s presence. Rather, he seemed to have become reliant on always having someone to talk to, and on the steady, warm presence of another body at his back, big arms circled around him…

Jon shivered, a sudden cold draft making him rub his arms. When he opened his eyes, hugging himself, he checked the window, but it was firmly closed.

Butterscotch didn’t move, but her ears flicked in the direction Jon looked, possibly alert in case Jon had seen anything she hadn’t.

Jon sighed. “Sorry, wrong alarm,” he said, getting up from the sofa.

It wasn’t a cold draft from outside, though it certainly didn’t help that spring was only coming around tentatively, where each warmer day was chased by at least three days of icy rain. It was already April, but Jon wouldn’t have been surprised if they would get sleet again.

Luckily, Jon was prepared to fight the cold, even all alone as he was. It was only a few steps to the bedroom, after all, where they had an entire wardrobe of warm clothes. Martin’s sweaters were always especially nice, big and soft, not unlike his hugs.

Before Jon could open the wardrobe, though, he spotted something on the neatly made bed. There was Jon’s pyjama on his side, of course, but also a purple patch of cloth on Martin’s side.

As he picked it up, Jon realised that it was one of Martin’s sweaters. The one he had bought a few years ago, a suspiciously short amount of time after Jon had told him that boysenberry was his favourite colour.

The sweater wasn’t quite boysenberry, but close enough. Jon ran a hand over the fabric, which was well-worn and soft. Martin had worn the sweater the previous day, and must have forgotten to put it in the hamper.

Jon was alone, he knew that, but he still sneaked a glance around the room before burying his nose in the sweater. It smelled like Martin, and tea, not that the latter wasn’t already inextricably connected to Martin in Jon’s mind.

Come to think of it, Jon could do with a cuppa. His tea was never quite as good as Martin’s, of course, though he could never figure out what he did wrong. Maybe it was just the fact that he had made it himself that caused his brain to interpret it differently.

After pulling the sweater over his head, Jon padded to the kitchen, where he put on the kettle. Butterscotch showed her face for a moment when the water started boiling, but withdrew quickly when she realised that it was not her beloved Martin making that familiar noise.

By the time Jon was carrying his mug into the living room, Butterscotch was munching away on the last treat from her cat tree. Jon still had a few treats in his pocket, but instead of coming to him, Butterscotch moved on to her toy.

Jon settled back on the sofa with his tea, one of their warmest blankets, and the book he was currently reading. Well, trying to read. The premise had sounded interesting enough, but Jon struggled to keep his focus, feeling like he had read something similar before, and appalled by the casual cruelty of some of the characters.

It was probably realistic, Jon thought, though that only made it more depressing.

Jon was scowling at yet another scene of two characters he cared little about making out when he felt a slight dip in the sofa next to him. Turning his head, he spotted Butterscotch, who had jumped up next to him to sniff at his sweater.

She meowed.

“It smells like him, doesn’t it?” Jon reached out to pet her, but Butterscotch ducked away. Sighing, he withdrew his hand, settling it on his leg.

Again, Butterscotch leaned in close, and sniffed at his wrist this time. Or at about where the wrist was buried under the long sleeves of the sweater. Jon had already pulled them up a little so his hands weren’t covered, but the fabric kept slipping back over his palms, leaving only his fingers pointing out of the bulging fabric like-

Jon swallowed, trying to chase away the comparison between his own hand and a spider. It didn’t work, not when the skin on that hand was still streaked with white lines like the fine threads of a spider web-

A loud meow pulled Jon out of his panicked thoughts. He looked at the cat, and something about her calm gaze and the relaxed movements of her tail made him realise that there was no danger here.

He looked down at his hand. It was just a human hand. Burned, sure, but it had — Jon moved his arm so the sweater pulled back from his thumb — five fingers. Not eight spindly legs which could have made it scuttle off into dark corners.

Jon shook his head at himself. The image of his hand moving on its own should have been ridiculous, not scary, he decided. He tried to imagine it like that hand from The Addams Family — Martin had shown him the films and the show from the late ‘90s. Jon vaguely remembered the show having been on air when he had been a teenager, but he hadn’t watched much television at the time, having been far too prone to wandering off.

There was another meow, and then a little nose brushed against Jon’s hand. Butterscotch sniffed him, and apparently decided this time that he was worth her attention, since she proceeded to rub her little head against his fingers.

“Martin has been gone half an hour, and already you’re lonely, huh,” Jon teased, and considered petting her. But he didn’t want to chase her off. “Well, I’m not really one to talk, of course.”

Butterscotch rubbed the side of her body against his hand — and went to sniff at his trouser pocket.

“Ah, so that’s what you want.” With a sigh, Jon pulled a couple of treats out of his pocket. “I should have known.”

He thought about trying to train Butterscotch to do tricks for the treats, but ultimately decided against it. Not only was it not worth the effort when Butterscotch would simply be ignoring him again once Martin was back. Jon was also reluctant to make a creature who was smaller than him and who he had power over jump through metaphorical hoops just for his entertainment.

“You’re a pretty girl, you know that?” he whispered when Butterscotch munched on the treats he held out in his palm. A smile flitted over his face. “Of course you know that. Martin keeps telling you, doesn’t he?”

Butterscotch looked up at him while cracking a treat between her teeth. Tentatively, Jon reached out to pet her. To his surprise and delight, she accepted the attention, only moving to get another treat.

Jon continued to pet her, his fingers carding through the ginger fluff. The colour always reminded Jon of Martin’s hair, only that Butterscotch’s coat was not as curly. It was soft, though, and Jon especially enjoyed scratching her little head.

Butterscotch also seemed to enjoy it, which was a nice change of pace from her usual behaviour towards him.

It wasn’t as though she was ever aggressive towards him, but mostly, her attitude was that towards the annoying boyfriend of a friend: Jon was a necessarily evil she had to endure to be around Martin, and she would be civil to him, but no more.

Well, perhaps now she was learning that he wasn’t as annoying as she had imagined.

Or perhaps she was simply desperate.

“Such a pretty lady,” Jon cooed. “When you’re being affectionate like this, I would almost say that you’re cuter than the Admiral. Don’t tell him or Georgie that I said so, though.”

Butterscotch’s eye was fixed on him now, and Jon had the odd thought that her gaze had focused at the mention of the Admiral. There seemed to be some calculation, or perhaps disdain, in her expression at hearing about another cat.

Which was silly, of course. She couldn’t possibly understand what he was talking about.

Butterscotch meowed, and turned, almost as though making a point. The more likely explanation was that she had finished her treats and was tired of Jon’s attention, though he still couldn’t shake the odd thought that she was miffed about him mentioning another cat.

“Sorry,” he said, illogically. “I’m not like Martin. You’re not the first cat I let into my heart.”

Butterscotch looked back at him where she had been walking towards her cat tree, seeming almost reproachful. Then she continued her trek, and made the few jumps up to her throne.

Jon made a thoughtful noise. “I feel like I was better at being the step dad than I am at being a real cat dad.”

Butterscotch meowed again, sounding to be in agreement.

“Thank you, daughter,” Jon said dryly. “You know, the easiest solution to this would be for you to meet your step brother and learn to love him.”

Butterscotch made a disgruntled sound.

“Alright, yes, that may have been wishful thinking. But I had to try.”

Jon wondered what Martin would say if he heard him talking to the cat. Martin did it often enough himself, but Jon always teased him for it, so he expected Martin to do so in return.

Jon let his head fall onto the back of the sofa, then angled it so he was looking at Butterscotch. “We’re one odd little family, aren’t we?”

Butterscotch meowed, and started licking her front paws.

Jon hummed. “Martin already taught you to wash your hands after eating. He’s a good father.”

Another meow. Jon picked up his phone from the coffee table.

Our little girl is being very vocal with me today. His thumb hovered over the send icon for a moment before he finally pressed it.

It took almost no time at all for Martin to react with a heart emoji. He sent back: 

I’m on the train

Already missing you two tbh

Jon smiled. “Daddy says he misses us,” he said absent-mindedly.

Butterscotch made a sound almost like a coo.

We miss you too, he wrote back. Don’t fall into the sea.

Martin reacted with a salute emoji.

Will do my best, he sent. Then he added: Tim is being annoying

Jon grinned. Martin had probably sent that less for complaining and more for annoying Tim back, who must be trying to see his text conversation.

Tell him that historically, annoying your boss’ fiance has not been seen as a smart move.

Martin typed, then stopped. Started typing again. Finally, he sent: He says you text like a boomer

Jon sniffed indignantly. Tell him he texts like a fourth grader.

A soft sound made him look up from his phone, and he spotted Butterscotch coming back towards him, having jumped down from her cat tree again. With a meow like she was announcing her intentions, she jumped up on the sofa, and pushed her little face close to the phone screen.

“Do you know that daddy is on the other side?” Jon teased, running a hand through her fur

Butterscotch meowed again, and touched the phone — fortunately gently, without claws.

Taking advantage of the situation, Jon opened the camera app, and switched to selfie mode.

The result wasn’t particularly good, but then Jon’s selfies never were. At least part of Jon’s face was visible behind Butterscotch, and the cat looked almost regal.

Did I mention that we miss you? Jon captioned the photo when sending it to Martin.

There was an almost immediate heart-eyes emoji reaction, and then Martin started typing.

Aw, two cuties <3, he finally sent.

Jon sighed. Martin had a rather warped sense of aesthetic. Surely, no one else could have considered Jon ‘cute’.

“Your daddy is such a weirdo”, he told Butterscotch, scratching behind her ears. “We’re lucky to have him.”

Butterscotch meowed in apparent agreement.

Jon smiled. Perhaps the cat and him could manage to bond, after all.

If only over both of them loving Martin.

[sillygoofyqueer]

*sprints up to you, taking a moment halfway to hunch over and gasp for breath before continuing, then grabs you by the shoulders* THEY ARE IN MY FUCKING BRAIN. THEY WON'T GET OUT. THEY'RE LIKE PARASITES, EATING AWAY AT EVERY OTHER PART THAT DOES NOT BENEFIT THEM AND I AM SCA- anyway, more mad scientist AU, anyone?

Wei Ying is covered in Wen Zhuliu's blood. He stands to face the Wen guards, so one of them basically immediately grabs Xue Yang and holds their blade to his neck so they can have a hostage against Wei Wuxian, who obviously drops Suibian when this happens because Xue Yang cannot be hurt. Xue Yang looks more than ready to fight his way out of this, but Wei Ying will not drag him down with him, and so he starts raving like a lunatic, making sure that it's obvious to these moronic guards that Xue Yang still has no idea about the lies of the Wen. He's grabbed by four guards, struggling and kicking around as he screams about how they are lying murderers, how much blood is on their hands and how they are literal monsters. Although he like, knows what he's doing, he is still in the throes of his qi deviation and this is more just not holding back his thoughts.

As he is dragged through the halls, the gore and blood still covering his hands, staining his robes and dripping from his hair and face, he doesn't even notice the people watching him go with many different expressions and sobs and screams. Xue Yang is trying to follow, a few guards needed to hold him back as he snarls out threats of death if they hurt Wei Ying - he can't hide the genuine panic in his voice, though. The terror. Xue Yang has above all always been that little street rat that Wei Ying found on the streets and picked up just because he saw something in him, and a street rat is not something that has many things that it can call its own. When it does have something, it can get possessive. Xue Yang is more than possessive with his few things, and Wei Ying is something that he sees as - not his, exactly, but someone that he is extremely loyal towards because Wei Ying loved and cared from him before he was useful. Now he is being taken away from him.

There is chaos and panic, Wen Ning and Wen Qing come sprinting to see what the fuck is happening, yanking Xue Yang back and gathering bits of information while trying to calm him down. Wen Qing is the only one allowed to go after Wei Wuxian as the resident doctor, sprinting through the halls to get to the throne rooms, where Wei Wuxian is still screaming. Of course, he's not coherent at this point, and any attempts to talk to him are unsuccessful - so, Wen Ruohan, being who he is, just immediately moves straight past the taunting and instead moves to the punishment, which is of course a beating so bad that Wei Wuxian passes out partway through it. This is Not Good for someone going through a qi deviation and Wen Qing is horrified by what's happening but she can't do anything because they won't let her. All she can do is stand there and watch as he is whipped and broken and beaten for finding out the truth that she had to keep from him.

After Wen Ruohan is satisfied with what he sees as payback for killing their best weapon, then comes the question of what to do with him. He's basically useless now, especially after finding out that he has been in contact with one of the fucking Nies for far too long now (another reason to put them at the top of the hit list), and he would not do anything for them no matter how they forced him. Xue Yang has been watching Wei Wuxian work, he would be a good replacement (as if Xue Yang understands the code Wei Wuxian scribbles away his personal notes in, as if he would ever help those that took his gege away), and so Wei Wuxian is quite literally unimportant. The sect leader looks over the information displayed in front of him and decides that the best course of action would be to get rid of the boy in a way that wouldn't allow him to return as a resentful spirit (the cleansing rituals were of course never done upon him, he worked with resentment for gods' sake).

So, they decide to let Wei Wuxian waste away in the biggest source of resentment in the Jianghu, a fitting end to a boy raised with the sole purpose of utilising and controlling the very same thing. Wen Qing knows that this is a death sentence for Wei Ying. She knows that there is nothing she can do to save him; even if he is conscious by the time he is thrown into the Burial Mounds, he is incredibly injured and will likely not even survive the fall, let alone the resentful spirits that will lunge upon him like the defenceless prey that he is. However, that does not mean she won't allow him to die without any respect. While everyone else is distracted with getting ready for the quick trip to the Burial Mounds - and dealing with Wen Chao's bitch fit over wanting to go along - Wen Qing is legging it across the palace, even ignoring Wen Ning and Xue Yang when they notice her and rush over to ask questions.

She slams into Wei Wuxian's experimenting rooms, ignoring the gore and just rushing around the room with a qiankun pouch that had been abandoned on one of the desks. She grabs random piles of notes and his favourite books, the ribbon that had belonged to his mother, the blanket that he claimed had been 'the best because Wen-popo made it for me!', and of course making sure to clean Suibian before it goes into the pouch again. Anything she can get her hands on that speak of who he was, an attempt at honouring who he was before his death. A vague nod towards traditional burial practices. Then she's sprinting back across the palace, skidding into the throne room and acting like she was just grabbing more needles to keep Wei Wuxian unconscious as she goes about examining him for 'medical purposes', slipping the qiankun pouch into his inner robes when she's certain nobody else is looking.

Wei Ying wakes up as they are hovering above the Burial Mounds, writhing with pain and stripped down to his inner robes because he does not get to wear the Wen colours anymore. Wen Chao, who got his way and is watching in excitement, tells him that this is what he gets for being an arrogant traitor, that he was always just a pathetic son of a servant pretending to be someone more than he actually was. Wei Ying looks upon him with indifference even through the agony he is in, and tells him that he pities him, the words slurred and eyes unfocused. This fucking infuriates Wen Chao, and he decides that he's bored of waiting, telling the Wen disciples holding Wei Wuxian to drop him, watching as the boy flails around in panic as he falls, the scream echoing before it is devoured by the Burial Mounds.

Wei Ying hits the ground, and takes his final breaths. Or, well, what should be his final breaths. However, the Burial Mounds notices this human, this boy, and can sense the resentful energy crawling through his body, somehow curling and flowing with the strong golden core spinning in his lower dantian. This boy is like It. The Burial Mounds cannot let a sentient being like Itself die, so It opens Its arms to him. It will not let him die. Does not. It will stitch him back together, just until the bright golden core can start its work and do it properly. It would keep the boy alive.

[siggyhunt]

Fic wip: Dogman actually can talk, he just chooses not to, because of numerous possibilities and a multitude of reasons. But because he chooses not to, nobody knows that he actually can in the first place. So it's especially jarring when he finally does.

It's the weekend, and Petey and LP are out on the town, bonding during one of Petey's rare days off. Dogman is at the station, filling out some leftover paperwork that he's been putting off. It's nice and relaxing, and the cat duo are having a wonderful time just hanging out, father and son, eating gelato at the park. Petey takes and sends pictures so that Greg feels better, knowing how he hates being left out, and the dog finds it so cute how his kitties think of him during their day together.

So imagine his surprise when the updates suddenly stop.

He doesn't worry at first; it's their day after all, they're probably just having fun. But as time passes, he gets more and more worried. What on earth are they doing? Are they okay, what happened? It gets to the point where so much time has passed, that he's completely abandoned his papers, and his eyes stay glued to his phone. Chief walks out of his office, having noticed Greg's drifting attention. But before he can actually say anything about it, alarms start to blare, and a voice rings out:

There's been a kidnapping at the park.

And Greg has no idea how to prove it, but he knows, that deep in his soul, in his heart of hearts, that it's his family that's been taken.

A growl rips out of him, and it's the loudest anyone has ever heard from the usually happy dog. Even louder, more emotionally driven, than during the worst of Petey's villain days. A rage like none other billows off of him, charged with the fear that only a man about to lose his family can possess.

His phone is tight in his hands, and he rushes out of the building, dialing Petey's number, hoping that either the cat will pick up, or the kidnapper will. He can already feel the vibrations in the city; yet another Mech made to cause him grief, and he would roll his eyes in annoyance if he wasn't so fu- fricking terrified right now. Chief hops in a car, and Greg high-tails in after him, continuing to call while the sirens blare.

While the cops are screeching through the streets, Li'l Petey and Petey are tied up in a warehouse, Piggy snorting maniacally as he controls the giant Mech in front of them, having apparently learned his lesson on not actually being in the robot this time so he doesn't immediately get arrested. Dr. Scum sets up a camera, pointing it at the two cats, and hacks into the radio waves, broadcasting their feed onto everything, along with the news stations.

On the screens not showing the livestream, Sarah stands on the street with the giant robot, footage showing the destruction going on, and taking cover behind a fallen slab of concrete, a bridge not far behind them. Suddenly, Chief's police cruiser arrives at the scene, and the two cops tumble out, Chief immediately clearing the way for civilians to escape.

Dogman stares for a few seconds, analyzing the situation, his face contorted into a terrifying rage. Apparently noticing something that nobody else does, he looks back at Sarah, and points away from the bridge, telling her to leave in case it falls.

And before anyone else can say anything, he tears back into the car, tires squealing as he turns around and drives away.

A few seconds of absolute silence, Piggy and Dr. Scum staring at the news feed in shock, before howling laughter leaves the two villains. Dogman, leaving the active crime? How ludicrous! And that fear on his face? He must've been scared out of his mind! That'll teach that mutt not to mess with us! Did you see that, Petey? Your precious Dogman isn't going to save you!

A few more seconds of laughter, and a few more seconds of destruction, before the quiet sounds of a roaring engine start to pick up on Sarah's microphone. It's being broadcasted on the news channel, and it's heard by the two villains who have the station pulled up with their ransom feed, and their laughter pauses. Right as the robot is about to run into and knock down the bridge, Dogman peals down the road, swerving off the side of the bridge, and ramming right into the head of the machine, the momentum knocking it down onto the empty street, with the car landing on the robots chest.

Shock and awe all around, and Greg kicks the door open, stepping out on top of the robot. Some small cheering is heard down below, before it quiets at the snarl on Greg's face. The news feed zooms in as he pulls his phone back out, dialing Petey's number again. The hacked on footage of Dr. Scum and Piggy is silent, the two scientists standing in shock, before it gets broken by the sound of Petey's phone.

Silently, Piggy grabs it and sends Dogman to voice-mail, and let's the phone call out the missed contacts.

“You have: 25, New messages, from: Gregory”

“You have: 32, Missed calls, from: Gregory”

“You have: One. Voice-mail. From. Gregory.”

“Would you like to listen?”

Piggy hits accept.

“PIGGY. PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE. YOU STUPID BITCH. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FAMILY?! WHERE ARE THEY?! PIGGY, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME. PICK UP THE PHONE. GODDAMMIT!”

“End message. Would you like to call back?”

[toasttt11]

breakfast

October 14, 2023

Allison yawned a bit as she parked her car in the hotel parking lot, she doesn’t often get up early when she doesn’t have to but if she wants to spend some time with James before he has to her ready for his game she had to get up earlier.

She took a sip of her coffee as she watched James walk to her car and he hoped in, James smiled at her and she handed him a coffee, “Still don’t don’t know how you drink it that sweet.” Allison commented.

“And you can drink coffee black.” James teased back making Allison just shrugged softly, “You would drink it sweet if there was a lemon flavor.” James teased knowing how much she loves anything lemon.

Allison hummed, “That would be good.” They shared a laugh.

“Thank you.” James said softly and she nodded.

James looked around the car, “It’s nice.”

Allison smiled a bit she had only just recently finally bought a car, a yellow 2023 Bronco, “Ryan didn’t shut up till i picked this.”

James laughed knowing how much Ryan try’s to convince everyone to get a bronco.

“Breakfast?” Allison asked him and James eagerly nodded and she started driving away.

James took a few moments to steal a few glances noticing the changes in Allison already, it was definitely weird seeing her without pink stripes in her hair now. He could tell she was wearing comfortable clothes but she still looked more presentable than most days when he trys.

She had a simple athletic one piece in blue with a white cardigan and white sneakers but it was Allison and she looked put together as always.

Allison raised a curious eyebrow confused when James didn’t start rambling like he almost always does with her, she thought back to last night and how he looked a bit off and had a feeling something was going on with him.

James followed her out of the car and into a tiny cafe as he watched her walk in he could tell this wasn’t the first time she came here. It was cozy and not very big so not many people and the menu had coffee and healthier food options he could tell why Allison likes it here.

Allison gestured for him to order and she quickly paid for their food making him give her a look and she just smirked in reply.

He followed her to a table in front of the window and she sat down on the seating on the window bay and he sat down next to her.

“Okay spit it out.” Allison said in blunt nature resting her chin on her palm giving him a look.

“What?” James’s voice went up trying to look confused, he should have known she would immediately know something is off.

Allison just gave him a look and he sighed looking down at the table fiddling with silverware, “We’ve been fighting a lot recently.”

Allison hummed understanding he was talking about his girlfriend, Allison had met her a few times now but not much as she doesn’t live anywhere close to Michigan but she is nice.

“I don’t know somedays it feels like all we do is fight.” James confessed rubbing his face stressed, he was almost seventeen he wants to enjoy his first relationship and his life in general.

“Is something causing the fights?” Allison asked him and they paused for a second as their food was set in front of them.

James softly shook his head, “No i don’t think so. It’s my first relationship i just want to be able to enjoy not keeping fighting over the stupidest things.”

“Have you told her that?” Allison said calmly as she took a bite of her food.

“I tried and it ended in another fight.” James made a small happy sound as he took a bite rid his food making her lips quirk up.

“Well if you aren’t happy you got to think if it’s worth staying especially if nothing is helping fix your problems.” Allison told him wisely, “You feelings are important too James."

James cracked a smile nodding softly he knew she was right, “Thanks Coco.”

“Yeah yeah anytime except when i’m sleeping.” Allison quipped making him laugh and she smiled pleased seeing he looked lighter already.

“Now eat.” She gently nudged him making him grin but listen.

They finished their breakfast and James yapped a bunch during Allison but she didn’t mind because she could tell he felt better and she wouldn’t admit it but it felt weird not having him close by anymore and not on the ice with her.

James and Allison started walking around after breakfast still talking and catching up.

“And you? Are you doing good?” James gave her a meaningful look.

Allison gave him a truthful nod, “I’m doing okay. I haven’t had one in almost two months.” She honestly was a bit nervous living away from Luke and she guessed James too as the two know they most about her attacks and she didn’t know how she would do without them but especially Luke.

“That’s great!” James beamed proudly making her glance away with a small pleased smile, “But it is always okay if you do have one.” James reminded her softly.

Allison glanced back at him giving him a small smile, “I know because you always remind me.” Allison teased softly but had a soft look in her eyes.

James just shrugged giving her a grin.

Allison watched him look around the part of Boston they were walking, “You excited to come here next year?” She softly nudged him.

James officially committed to Boston College last month.

James quickly nodded, “Yeah it’s gonna be great.” A small part of him hoped she would still be here next year but he doubted she would be coming back for another year.

Allison made a happy sound seeing a dog walking by and immediately asked to pet the dog.

James smiled softly seeing her kneeling down smiling widely as she petted the dog, if you ever wanted to see her soft just show her a dog and she melts immediately.

James kneeled down next to her petting the dog, “Aren’t you so cute.” Allison cooed softly at the adorable soft and James watched fondly at the beaming smile Allison shot him.

James and Allison were really glad they got a few hours to catch up and spend some time together.

[eleganzadellarosa]

That’s Unconditional (Part 1)

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, best friends to…something

warnings: reader is a bit of a dumbass (you might just get pissed off, so my bad in advance), heavy usage of Y/N (please don’t be cringed out), mentions/ hints of coercion, underage drinking, slightly suggestive.

words count: 9.1K

A/N: Whew, here's another long one y'all. This has been sitting in my drafts for months (basically since the MV was released) and finally had enough energy to finish it. I'm honestly looking forward to everyone reading it because this was a random idea that popped in my head and of course I come here to write said thoughts out. So as always, enjoy and thanks for reading :)

*static*

March 9th 1-9-

“Jaehyun, Y/N! Oh my gosh, do you think they’ll do it again?…c’mon sweetie you got it!” *distortion* “Come to mommy!”

*static*

“Ugh mom, do we have to watch this one every birthday?” Jaehyun asked adjusting the too small pointy hat on his head.

Jaehyun was your best friend since birth. Your moms had you on the same day just two hours apart from each other and he never misses the opportunity to joke that he’s older. You’ve done everything together from eating, sleeping, going to the same schools and as a birthday tradition you get to watch the day you both took your first steps. It was said that you only started walking because of him since you seemed too scared to do it on your own. He was there when your dad died and you were there when his mom got divorced. There’s not a day you can remember where Jaehyun wasn’t in it. Just goes to show how close your moms are too.

“Oh stop it! Both of you hurry and make a wish so I can take this picture!”

If it wasn’t your mom, it was his making you two snap a picture to go in the big “J + Y/N” album that was kept on the top row of your bookshelf in the living room. You exchanged glances with Jae before clasping your hands at your chest and closing your eyes to make a wish. Every year you wished that he would still be your best friend no matter what. That even when either of you were away, the memories never faded. You were somehow always finished before him, so when you looked up his eyes were still closed. When he opened them he gave you a smile and a quick nod so you could blow out the candles together.

He reached in his pocket to grab something and put it in your hand before you could see it. “Happy birthday Y/N.” His eyes were sparkling in anticipation as he watched you look at the present in your hand.

It was a friendship bracelet with both your initials on it and a magnet inside each of the letters so when they were close enough, they would “hold hands”. It was the perfect gift you think. Anything that you could keep forever to remind you of him was just right. It was your turn to reach into your pocket for something and surprisingly (not really) you also bought some friendship jewelry, but instead of bracelets they were rings.

He chuckled and happily slipped it onto a finger it would fit. “Promise me you’ll always be my best friend?” He stuck out his pinky and pressed his thumb to yours to seal the deal.

“I promise.”

“Who’s ready for the piñata?! Oh you’re gonna love it, it’s so cute!” Your mom said snapping a few extra pictures. “You know the kids are waiting.”

More recently it became tradition to share the candy from the piñata with the kids in the neighborhood. As much as you would love to say you only wanted it because of them, your mom was really good at choosing candy.

“Okay but I get dibs on skittles this year!” You exclaimed jumping from your seat and heading to the front door.

“Uh, not if I get there first!” Jaehyun was quickly following behind you but not before he popped the string on the kid sized birthday hat and throwing it on the table.

As expected, kids were surrounding the tree in your front yard. “Happy birthday Jaehyun and Y/N, you guys are the best!” They were so sweet and made you wish you had a younger sibling or two. Jaehyun had his hair pushed back with a black plastic headband, bat in hand ready to take a swing. You never hit the piñata hard enough on the first try or so you told yourself when actually you just loved watching him do it.

“Go-Jae, go-Jae, go-Jae!” They all started chanting, boosting him with courage so his swing had more power. You quickly joined them, clapping your hands to the rhythm. One swift swing and candy went flying and scattered across the grass. They knew the skittles were off limits but they always had first choice. Again, you and Jae didn’t mind the leftovers because each option was just that good.

You sat with him under the tree afterwards and opened the bag of colorful candies. “Since you’re my favorite, I’ll give you half.” You say, dumping them into his readily cupped hands.

“You think it feels weird being 18 now?” He looked over at you, now with a lollipop in his mouth. “I mean like should we feel different since we’re like…adults now?”

“Hmm…” you actually hadn’t thought of it that way. You’ve only ever lived your life not really thinking about that. Each milestone was shared with him so you never felt the need to worry about those types of things. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to feel, maybe it’ll change when we go to college with all the “big kids” and have our first drinks before we’re supposed to.”

He chuckled and turned toward you, “We’ll be the big kids too technically but Y/N…I don’t wanna drink. What if it makes us forget each other?”

“Forget each other? That’s not how it works Jae.”

“I know I know, I just mean what if it changes us and we start growing apart?”

You turned and draped your legs in his lap to scoot closer to him and wrapped your arms around him. “I’ll never ever ever forget my best friend. I’ll always remember the coolest, sweetest boy Jae.”

He couldn’t fight the smile that spread across his face, dimples on full display. He hugged you back tightly but only for a bit before he started tickling you, causing you to burst into laughter.

"I brought us more cake because why not?" You said kicking your flip flops off as you entered his house. He had asked if you wanted to spend the night with him and you of course, happily accepted it. "I scraped up the extra icing and added it too."

"Thank God because I wanted more." He grabbed your bag from you and took it up to his room with you following closely behind.

You climbed into his bed and slipped under the covers. "I'm pooped, I just wanna sleep now. Come on Jae it's time for bed." You say patting the space next to you.

He hopped on top of the bed and began jumping. "What? No way, I still have so much energy left! I won't stop until you jump with me~"

You rolled your eyes but smiled and threw the comforter off and stood up with his help. He held your hands and you joined in with jumping, making the bed squeeze every time either of you landed back down. You held your wrist up to him, showing him the bracelet and he did the same. You were amused at how quickly the dangling charms magnetically connected so you couldn't help but laugh.

"Think we're gonna get made fun of for these?" He asked, slightly winded from how long he was jumping. "I mean I don't care I'm just saying."

"Probably, you know how they are."

Rumors spread like wildfire in that school. Nothing left someone's ear that didn't end up in another. Whispers flowed through those halls like the wind. And of course you and Jaehyun weren't exempt from having your names thrown into the latest gossip. No one believes you two could be friends for so long with nothing going on between you. No matter how many times you denied it, everyone assumed you just didn't want anyone to know because of whatever reason.

“I hope everyone got their applications in! If not, you have until the end of this week to do it. Remember this is a choice that will change your life forever so don’t take this lightly!” It was every teacher’s job this week to remind all the students about their college applications so no one could lie and say they missed the deadline.

“Hey Y/N where are you applying?” Lily, a girl in your English class that never really bothered talking to you until she needed help with her homework.

“Oh uh, just State.”

“And what about you Jae?” She looked over at the boy who sat in the seat next to you, as she practically batting her eyelashes.

Without looking up from doodling in the back of his notebook, he spoke, “Same for me.”

She rolled her eyes before looking back at a group of friends who anticipated the both of your answers. They were all chuckling behind their hands. A boy from the group walks over and stands in front of your desks. “Are you guys gonna keep your relationship a secret there too? Or are you finally gonna fess up?”

Jae’s head finally popped up, brows furrowed in anger and confusion but before he said anything, you did. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Oh Y/N don’t be so dense, everyone knows and thinks it’s weird that you guys don’t just tell the truth.”

“We’re not lying, Jae is my best friend!”

“Why would we even have to lie about that? What’s wrong with her being my best friend?” His book was closed now and pencil down; fists clenched atop the desk.

“Relax buddy, no need to get all worked up over it. And since you aren’t dating, how would you feel if I asked Y/N out on a date?”

Jae looked over at you, face and ears red with embarrassment and were your eyes watery? He couldn’t tell but he didn’t like this. “She wouldn’t even consider saying yes, what’s your problem? Don’t you have friends?”

“Yeah man I do, but this is why you don’t have any!” He threw his head back and he laughed loudly, all of his friends following suit.

“Hey come on, leave them alone.” It was Damien’s turn to speak up. He wasn’t usually one to intervene on these types of things but it made him all the more attractive to you. You’ve had a crush on him ever since last year but unfortunately for you, he was already dating someone. “She said they weren’t dating and a pretty girl like Y/N doesn’t seem like the one to lie.”

Jae could feel his stomach twisting in knots hearing Damien call you pretty. When he looked over at you, you had a small smile on your face. It was better than you looking so sad but he couldn’t help but scoff. There was nothing special about this guy but you turned into a puddle of goo every time he was around. Jae wouldn’t call himself jealous but you’re his best friend and a guy like Damien he didn’t trust.

As Jae was about to lean over and offer to leave, Damien slid in between you two and held out his hand for you to grab. “Come on Y/N, you don’t have to listen to this.”

You happily clasped your hand with his and walked out of the classroom, leaving a stunned Jaehyun behind. It was making his blood boil—you didn’t even look back once. Something bubbled up in his chest and his jaw shifted. It doesn’t matter, he was going to wait outside for you so you can walk home together like always. He grabbed his stuff and yours and head to the front of the school.

He waited 45 minutes and still no sight of you, it was definitely making him worried. Should he go look for you and make you cut your time with Damien short or should he let you enjoy your time with your crush and head home without you? It was stressful trying to make a decision because obviously he wanted to snatch you away but he also wanted to be a good friend. The question was, would him leaving you with a boy he doesn’t know make him a better friend than making sure you were safe just because you had feelings for him?

After waiting another 10 minutes, he decided that if anything were to happen you would just call him. He unlocked his door with the keys dangling from the lanyard that you made him on his backpack.

“Jaehyun sweetie is that you? I’m in the kitchen!” His mom called out. He set both bags down and walked up to her. “Oh, by yourself today? Where’s Y/N?”

“Uh…hopefully she’s on the way, she was with Damien before I left.”

“Damien? That boy she talks about from your class?”

“Tsk, yeah. Him.” Jaehyun rolled his eyes as he plopped into one of the dining chairs.

His mom smiled but cleared her throat to try and hide it as she stirred the pot of spaghetti on the stove. “Well let’s hope she’s back for dinner, her mom is coming too.”

Jae nodded his head. He hoped you were back way before dinner, he didn’t like the uneasy feeling of you not being around him.

ding dong

Jaehyun’s ears perked up like a puppy when the scratchy tone of the door bell filled the house. Before he could hop up to get it, his mother was already excitedly rushing to the door to greet her friend. They both squealed and embraced each other as if they don’t see one another at least every other day or more. But something was off, where were you?

Your mom noticed Jae looking behind her from the couch, expecting another person but she hated to be the bearer of bad news. “Y/N should be here soon love, Damien will drop her off.”

He smiled, biting the inside of his lip trying not to seem too disappointed. What the hell were you doing with him all day? He walked into the kitchen to help set the table and serve both women before placing your plate right next to his. If you would be here soon, there was no point in eating without you, especially because he didn’t want to.

“You made sure to add extra garlic for Y/N right mom?” He asked looking in the pot as he stirred as if he’d be able to spot with small white pieces.

Both moms looked at each and smiled. “Yes sweetie I made sure. Come sit down we wanna ask about this Damien boy.”

Just hearing his name made Jae want to thrust his fingers in his ears. Not just you but now the moms were curious about this kid too? Oh great. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Tell us what he’s like, is he a good fit for Y/N?” Your mom pitched in, elbows on the table as she leaned in.

A good fit for you? Absolutely not! No one was a good fit for you unless he was absolutely perfect. Jaehyun has never met someone like that though so until he did, no one fit the requirement. “He’s okay, but I thought he was dating another girl that’s not in our class. He’s really nothing special, no offense, but I definitely think Y/N can do better.” That statement earned a laughed from the two and Jae didn’t know what was so funny.

“Awww you’re so good to Y/N Jae, she’s lucky to have someone like you.” Your mom pat him on the shoulder and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear.

Just then the doorbell rang for the second time tonight and Jae shot out his chair to run to the door. His heart swelled when he opened the door and saw you standing there with a huge smile on your face. Then he looked next to you and saw the last person he wanted to see right now.

“Hey Jae! Damien is here to meet our moms real quick before he goes.”

Jaehyun hesitantly stepped to the side and allowed the both of you in. He so badly wishes that he could have pulled you inside and slammed the door in Damien’s face but he would do as his mother taught him and be nice to his guests. Even though that might be quite hard if he saw you two holding hands for a second longer.

“Oh how wonderful, a guest! Please come in!” His mother greeted the boy and hugged you.

“We’ve heard so much about you Damien.” Your mom says, standing up to shake his hand.

“Oh?” Damien looks over at you, your ears slightly red at the tips. “Well I’m glad this isn’t your first time hearing of me.”

Jae could gag just listening to how fake he sounded but he was too focused on making your plate just the way you liked it. He set his and your plates back down on the tables, this time full with food and pulled your chair out before sitting down. He stared at you until you looked over at him and gave you a big smile and called you over. You absolutely loved his mom’s spaghetti and rushed to sit down.

“Would you like to stay with us for dinner? There’s plenty left and we have an extra chair!” Jaehyun’s mom offered and he almost choked on his food. He’s had enough of this guy and wanted time alone with you and that extra chair was his dad’s, not for some random.

“Oh I would love to but my mom wants me back for dinner too so I’ll have to take a rain check on that offer.”

“Hey Y/N, we still on for scrabble tonight?” Jaehyun leaned over to whisper while the moms were saying their goodbyes to Damien.

“Oh my gosh, of course! You’re totally gonna lose, I’m taking you down Jae!” You playfully slammed a finger down on the table to add emphasis.

“Bye Y/N, I’ll see you around school yeah?” Damien stood in the archway of the kitchen, putting on his sweetest smile as he pulled your attention away from Jae.

“Yeah, I’ll see you Monday.” You tried stopping the blush blooming on your cheeks, but all eyes around the table were on you.

“Damn, I need to exchange one of these letters…”

“Having a hard time over there Jae? I can totally help if you need to make a word.”

He smirked and rolled his eyes as he reached into the bag of tiles. “Thank you very much sweet Y/N but I’m capable of making my own words. Don’t think you’re gonna win just because I don’t make any points this turn.”

“Mhm whatever you say but you’re not ready to see what I have up my sleeves syrupy Jae.”

“Syrupy?”

“Yeah…you said sweet and I couldn’t think of anything to say back that was equally as sweet. Please forget I said that, I’m so embarrassed right now.” You cringed and put your face in your hands and pretend sobbed as Jaehyun chuckled.

“Well syrupy Y/N, you still have to place your word.” He laughed as he dodged your missed smack to his arm.

You both were playing for at least another hour before tallying up the scores to see that neither of you won and it was a tie. A perfect 540 points. Jae didn’t really mind who won, he was happy that his night ended with seeing you because he definitely missed you while you were gone for most of the day. You would never tell him but you forgot about him while you were with Damien and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Jae was your best friend always but maybe you did want to venture out and make new friends. Not because he wasn’t sufficient; maybe you were just curious.

He was your only best friend this entire time but hanging out Damien made you realize perhaps you were ready for love. Your 18th birthday just passed and you were gearing up to go to college. He would be your first boyfriend and you were to embarrassed to admit that. You knew you needed Jaehyun around once you did leave high school, hence applying for the same schools, but hearing him be told that he didn’t have any friends because of you sent a pang right through your heart. Was that really true?

“So, how was your date?” Jae snapped you out of your thoughts as you laid against the footboard of his bed; him at the opposite end. “Didn’t think you’d be gone all day, so I hope it was good.”

“Mmm, I’d hardly call it a date but it was pretty chill. You know, I don’t really have anything to compare it to since I’ve never had a boyfriend but I think I would say it was good.”

“Well, would you go out with him again if he asked?”

“Yeah, yeah I guess I would. I really like him Jae so I want to see how this goes.”

He couldn’t explain it but he felt…scared. He really really didn’t want to lose his best friend. He was happy for you but he could feel it deeply in his bones that there was a big shift coming and he probably only felt that way because he knew college would be soon. Would he really have to worry about that? Not seeing you for long periods of time because you would be too occupied with all the new friends you made?

Day by day, time seemed to stretch on. Days seemed liked months and these past two months seemed like 2 years. He could never get you to stay in one spot, or to not be around Damien. It was like you were glued to him. You did everything together; even the stuff you usually did with Jaehyun. You just never had time for him anymore, but you were just spending time with your boyfriend; that wasn’t a bad thing right?

“And oh my god Y/N, you’re never gonna guess what happened after!…….Y/N you still there?”

“Y-yeah Jae I’m still here but lemme call you back another time okay? Then you can tell me.”

“Oh…yeah, another time. See you this weekend maybe?”

“Sorry, Damien invited me to a party with him so I’ll probably be doing that.”

“Right. See you around.” He barely finished his sentence before he heard the click on the other end signaling that you had already hung up.

“Jaehyun again huh? Gosh he just doesn’t get the message that you don’t wanna talk to him huh?” Damien had his hands rubbing up and down your exposed arm as you laid together on his bed.

“What? Don’t be mean, that’s not true! Jaehyun is such a sweet guy and we’ve been best friends for ages.”

“Yeah but he doesn’t know how to stop being a loser and make some more friends.”

That made you sit up and shove him on his chest. “That’s not fucking nice to say Dame, he’s not a loser.”

“Okay okay, sorry.” He guided you to lay back down and stuck his hands under your shirt to fondle your boobs. “We don’t even have to think about him right now. Let’s take this off.”

You’d been letting him kiss anywhere below your face and above your hips. He convinced you it wasn’t a bad thing and that it’s not like he was taking your virginity. He said this is what couples do and you weren’t stupid but somehow you allowed him this far. Jae wouldn’t do anything like this with you when you weren’t comfortable or maybe you would be more comfortable since it was Jae. But he was your best friend and you were simply using him as an example.

The night of the party, you put on a short sequin dress. A bit out of your comfort zone but this was a party and you should live a little. It was supposed to be a small house party, the kind they’d show in movies—the ones where the kid would throw it after their parents left, but the only thing small about the party was the amount of space left with everyone piled in. Damien walked with you, hand settled on your left hip.

“Let’s grab some drinks babe, time to get the real party started.”

“Actually I don’t drink.”

His face bunched up with a mixture of confusion and disgust. “What do you mean you don’t drink?”

“Why would I? I’m not 21 at all.”

He scoffed then laughed, even throwing his head back. “Oh that’s real grand Y/N no one waits until they’re 21 to drink. What do you think happens at these kinds of parties?”

“I don’t think that’s entirely true and yeah obviously but I also promised Jae I-“

“Jae? Jaehyun? You know in a bit Y/N I’m going to think he’s your boyfriend and not me.”

"Come on Damien don't be like that, you know he's my best friend."

"Yeah you keep saying that but maybe y'all are a bit more than that. Jae isn't here right now, I am, and he can't stop you from having a little fun. Now drink up."

You looked at the mystery liquid in the cup he held and stared at it before quickly taking it and downing the drink in one go. It went down hard and sizzled in your throat causing you to cringe and cough. Damien pat you on your back and praised you for your bravery. Once the initial feeling went away, the taste wasn't too bad; it had a nice fruity flavor. Before you knew it, you were going through drinks like they were water and eventually you started to feel a warmth grow all over you body and up to your face. It felt weird and with the way your head felt so dizzy, you weren't sure how much longer you could stand on two legs.

"Hey...Dame, I wanna leave, my head feels funny."

He turned to look at you and caught you as you stumbled. "Right now? The party doesn't end for like another 2 hours. You can't wait?"

"I don't...I don't know, I feel all loopy and my stomach hurts a bit."

"Yeah baby that's the buzz from all the alcohol you had. It's your first time, don't expect to feel fine."

"Damien please, I really wanna go home."

He peered over at the guys he was talking to before you walked up to them and sighed before helping you find a place to sit. "Just sit here and rest and I'll wake you up when it's time to go if you fall asleep."

Before you could protest, he was already walking back to his crowd. You felt like you could cry, laugh and puke all at the same time and you didn't want to be here when you did it. You were going to get home one way or another, whether he liked it or not. You pulled out your phone and sent a quick text to Jae. You weren't really sure what it said but once you hit send and he read it, he immediately text a "send me the address" back. You waited for what seemed like 5 minutes but with the lack of comprehension you possessed right now, who knows how long it actually took. He said he was outside waiting for you, so you got up and made your way to the door, the time on the couch helping you regain the strength in your legs.

A lazy smile settled on your face when you saw him standing there. He smiled too and for a second you forgot you were drunk and at this stupid party.

"Hey, I came as fast as I could. Are you okay?"

You sat down with a plop and sighed. "Yeah I'm okay."

There was a long silence between you, the cool wind prickling at the skin on your legs and a small cloud of smoke blowing from your mouth every time you released a breath. Stillness aside, it was comfortable. Everything with Jaehyun was comfortable. He turned to you, still silent but now looking like he had something to say.

After what seemed like 10 minutes, he finally spoke. "Y/N can I say something? I want to say it now so I don't regret not mentioning it to you sooner."

"Sure Jae, shoot."

"I don't like Damien, never have; but recently it feels like he's the reason you're not talking to me and not because you're just so focused on him. He's a douchebag and I can only hope he treats you better than the vibes he gives off."

"Don't say that Jae..."

"You didn't deny anything I just said Y/N and that makes me worry."

"I didn't say anything."

"I know and I want you to. I want you to tell me that I'm not losing my best friend to someone that's not even worth it."

"You just don't like him is all and you have no reason to not give him a chance." You wanted to say something else, something more in depth, but gosh your head was starting to spin again.

"Okay well give me a reason, look at me and tell me I have nothing to worry about and that you still like me." He placed a hand on your shoulder and you turned to face him. His eyebrows creased in concern. “Are you drunk? Are you fucking drunk?!”

You pushed at his arm with much more force in your mind than you actually did. “Yeeees~ and why are YOU so worried about it Jae?” You tried to boop him on the nose but he grabbed your hand before you reached his face.

“What the fuck Y/N?! this...this isn’t you. I don’t like what he’s doing to you.”

“Oh yeah? Well why do I have to care about what you think? Why can’t I just—just do whatever the hell I want?!” You actually succeed in shoving him on the chest this time and he stumbled slightly in shock. “Do you think you’re the boss of me Jae? This is why you don’t have any fucking friends!” As soon as you let the words leave you, you felt a deep pain in your chest but he shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Jae was wrong, Damien wasn't changing you it's just that you would never do these adventurous things if Jaehyun was around because he was too careful and you couldn't live the rest of your life not knowing what it was like. Jaehyun didn't know what he was talking about.

He hadn’t spoken to you since that night. He felt bad for getting so upset but what were you thinking? You had just promised him you both wouldn’t do anything like that, yet you couldn’t even make it to college before you broke it. It was all Damien’s fault; he was bad news. Jaehyun so badly wanted to apologize but you weren’t answering his texts, his calls and he hasn’t seen you around school. Hope filled his heart, telling him you say something—anything—back to him and you’d be occupying his time with your presence.

Yet here he was sat at the table, a scrabble board placed perfectly in the middle, ready for an extra player. But you weren’t there and making words for the both of you as if you were playing with him, didn’t give him the satisfaction he thought it would. And why were all of his words so so romantic? This was stupid, he hated this. You were supposed to be sitting adjacent to him, sitting crisscrossed in the chair, thinking hard about a word to play. Maybe you were right, he was too boring for anyone else to be around and the only person who put up with it for years was you.

His mom walked in the kitchen to see him staring at one piece in his hand; zoned out. “Sweetie it’s getting late, you might wanna put it away for tonight.” When he still didn’t budge, she placed a hand on his shoulder and he stood up and pulled her in a tight hug. She felt his body shake and heard the small whimpers coming from him so she rubbed his back. “Oh my baby boy…it’s okay…it’s okay.”

“What did I do wrong mom? Why does she hate me so much? I just want Y/N back…I want my best friend.”

He’s never felt emotions so strongly for someone but what should he expect when he’s lived his life knowing what it was like to wake up and fall asleep next to you. Whenever you needed him he was there for you. No one could ever make him laugh like you do, make him protective like you do, make him…love like you do.

He loves you. To the moon and back. And he never wanted to admit that because it would sound typical, so boring, so cliche. But the veins on his head bulged just thinking about you being with someone else that wasn’t him. What if you were forgetting him slowly every day that you weren't around him? No, that could never happen right? He didn’t want to know at this point, he just wanted you back. Has he messed so badly that he wouldn’t see or talk to you until you got to college? Maybe he’d see you at prom but even then, there was no guarantee that you’d even bat an eye his way.

You'd been at Damien's all weekend, cuddled up with him in his room like always. There's actually not much else you would do together. He didn't take you on dates, he almost always snuck you into his house and when you were at school, he acted like everyone else was more important. Jae would never do that to you but he was being so stupid right now so until you got over it, you would continue reading his messages from the drop down menu on your phone. Maybe you'd see him at prom but even then, there was no guarantee you'd want to see him.

Damien broke you out of your thoughts when he started to kiss you on the neck and moving awfully close to your face which was "off-limits". His hand rested on your waist and worked to remove your shirt. He eased his way up to your jaw and around to your lips before you put a hand to his chest and backed away.

“Why won’t you kiss me?” Your boyfriend touched your chin with his finger and leaned in but you moved away.

“I just want my first real kiss to be special.”

“And you’re saying it won’t be special with me?” He crossed his arms and sat back against his headboard. “This have anything to do with that guy you always hang around?”

“Who, Jae? No, he’s just my best friend.”

“Oh yeah well you two look at each other like you’re in love so maybe you are just a liar and this totally has something to do with him, just like I fucking thought.”

You felt extremely offended now and you scooted back away from him. “A liar? I’m telling the truth, Jae is my best friend and there’s nothing going on between us.” You scoffed loudly and your brows furrowed in anger. “Why did you ask me out if you thought I liked him then?”

He rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. “I actually just wanted to make Sarah jealous and I had high hopes for you but you don’t even wanna kiss me so I can’t brag that we had sex.”

You caught a lump in your throat and your eyes brimmed with tears. “What? W-why?” You had to swallow down that burning and sore feeling before you spoke up. “Why would you do that to me? I thought you liked me.”

“And I thought you’d jump at the opportunity to have sex with me but you’re the most boring virgin I’ve ever met. This idea sucked and all my friends were right that you weren’t the right choice for this.”

With tears streaming down your face, you slapped him as hard as you could and put your shirt back on and stormed out his room. Some boyfriend he was. He wasn’t even that cute to be such a waste of time. But alas, your heart was still broken over something that easily could have been avoided. He was a walking red flag but you let his looks get to you. Boys are stupid, except for Jaehyun and right now you’d love if he hugged you and let you fall asleep on his chest.

But you doubt he even wanted to talk to you right now. He wouldn’t just watch you cry though right? When you got to his house and knocked on the door, you had already stopped crying but your eyes still felt red and puffy. His mom answered the door and immediately pulled you in when she saw how wrecked you looked.

“Y/N what happened?! Oh my goodness!”

“My stupid boyfriend—no, ex boyfriend is stupid. Dumb and stupid and I hate him and I never want to see him again.” You could feel the tears fighting their way back to your eyes so you quickly wiped them on the back of your hand. “I just wanna see Jae.”

“Well sweetie…I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. You’ve been avoiding him like the plague and that’s not a good look for you if I’m being honest. You’ve missed out on scrabble and you know how much he loves playing with you.”

Now you were tearing up for a different reason. You were about to be why your birthday wish doesn’t come true all because of a boy that didn’t really like you.

“Buuut if you must know, he’s at the basketball court. His feelings are pretty hurt right now so be ready to see a different side of him.” She put a reassuring hand on your shoulder and offered a smile of comfort.

He was playing with a few other guys and looked to genuinely be having fun. You watched from the other side of the gate, fingers slipped through the holes to support you. You quietly stood there as he continued to make goal after goal--he's always been good at the sport. He hadn't noticed you until he stopped to get some water. He made eye contact and quickly avoided it.

“Hey Jae.” You walked along the path outside the gate but he didn’t respond nor look up at you. “Can we talk Jae?” Now he was no longer inside the court and he was walking past you towards his house. “Please Jae, I need to tell you something.” You followed him as he walked and you would keep following him even when he got home. “Okay if you won’t talk to me at least just listen okay? I broke up with him today…he was an asshole. You know, he said he only dated me to try and make Sarah jealous and since I didn’t want to kiss him he knew he couldn’t make her jealous by telling her we had sex either. He used me and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and said all those mean things to you. I really want my best friend to hug me and make me feel better like he always does.”

He stopped on the doorstep of his house and when he opened the door, he didn’t close it behind him; silently inviting you in. He plopped onto the couch and when you sat next to him, he reached over to pull you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his waist and laid your head on his shoulder as you burst into tears. He really was the best at comforting you and even when he was upset with you, he cared for you deeply. He laid his head on top of yours and rubbed your back.

You woke up, turning on a surface that felt nothing like his couch. You were in his bed aka he carried you there after you fell asleep to make sure you were cozy. As you were stretching, his door creaked open and he peaked his head around it, smiling when he saw you were awake.

"Good nap?" He plopped down and laid next to you.

"You know the naps you never see coming are the best." You turned on your side and started at him for a while. "Thanks Jae, I really needed that. You're the best best friend a girl could ask for."

Was that supposed to make him feel so sad? "Who would I be if not Y/N's best best friend? And this best best friend is taking you to prom."

You quickly sat up and squealed, "no way Jae are you serious?! you still wanna take me after everything that happened? It's okay if you don't actually want, I don't want you to feel obligated."

"Come on Y/N, why would I not wanna take you to prom? We JUST had a conversation about being best best friends." He chuckled to himself and stood up at the foot of his bed. "And I've already been practicing this." He bowed and then positioned his arms as if he had a dance partner and took dancing steps around his room making you laugh and applaud his determination.

"Jae, Y/N! Dinner's ready!"

Your heads shot to the door and you jumped up from the bed grabbing Jae by his arm. "You're not off the hook Ms. Y/N, we're practicing together next time and you can't say no."

Things were back to normal at school with you and Jae being friends again, besides the awkward run-ins with Damien. You've had to stop Jaehyun from tackling him a few times this week but that was expected. Everyone was gearing up for prom which was traditionally held within the last 3 weeks of school before graduation. Most other schools had their proms one to two months ago but your school tried giving the students more time to stay focused on their finals. You and Jae had received the the good news that you were both accepted to the school you applied for which meant you'd be seeing him every day for at least 4 more years.

"Can you believe we're less than a month away from walking to school for the last time?"

"Honestly, no. As much as we've talked about this, I can't believe we're seniors in high school." You walked with him back to your house as you both drank a juice box.

"Well I have two surprises for you this weekend so I hope you're ready."

"Surprises? I don't know if I can wait all the way until the weekend Jae, can you show me now? Please please please?" You jumped up and down while holding his arm, begging to see what he had in store for you.

"Nope, your tricks won't work on me. You only have to wait two days for your surprise, I think you can wait until then right?"

You halted your pleading movements and pouted, "I guess so, but it better be worth the wait."

Saturday had come much faster than you expected with the way you couldn't stop thinking about what he thought would be a surprise. Jaehyun was good at surprises though so you shouldn't have doubted him but the excitement took over. He told you to be ready by 2 o'clock and he came inside to escort you out.

"Close your eyes, you can't spoil the first surprise Y/N." He guided you down the stairs by your arm. "Okay, open!"

You opened your eyes and they almost flew out of your head. "OH MY GOD JAE YOU HAVE A CAR?!" He smiled proudly and nodded. He rushed to open the door for you and gestured you to get in. "But we can't go anywhere Jae, you don't have your-"

Before you finished your sentence, he pulled his license out of his pocket and held it in front of your face. "I got it like 2 weeks ago but I didn't want to spoil the surprise. Now I can drive us to our classes."

"No freaking way Jae what the hell! You're a real adult now huh? Looks like I need to catch up. These are the best two surprises ever!"

He smirked and turned the key in the ignition. "Oh, that wasn't the second surprise, just wait until we get there."

He drove for about an hour and a half before he pulled into the parking lot of the aquarium. You hadn't been in some years and you kept mentioning it to your mom every once in a while hoping she would get the hint to take you both, but instead he took it upon himself to surprise you with this trip. Inside, you walked around arm in arm in awe of all the animals. Hands down your favorite part was the quiet and secluded room they had specifically for viewing the sharks and jellyfish. There was a bench right in the middle of it, so you lead him over to take a seat.

You sighed when you sat down and he looked over at you quizzically. "You know" you started carefully, "Damien never did things like this with me and as much as I hated that, I didn't think it was enough to make me want to break up with him. But every time, no matter what, you always find a way to do what he should have done. I know you wanna say 'I told you so'."

"No Y/N, I'm not going to say that to you. I'm just glad you're my best friend okay? And we don't have to talk about this anymore if you don't want to."

"No Jae, I want to talk about it because I just wanted to say thank you for always being there for me."

He put a hand on your back and gave you a small, comforting smile. "Hopefully this isn't too much but I got you something else." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pink rose. "I was going to give you a whole bouquet at prom but this was the last one and I got scared they wouldn't have anymore in time and they were so perfect for you and-"

You leaned over and put your lips on his. He kissed you back--no hesitation--his hand resting on your cheek as he deepened the kiss. This wasn't supposed to feel natural or nice, it was supposed to be a spur of the moment type thing that you regret afterwards. But it wasn't any of those things, it was something you wanted more of until you couldn't bother to stomach it. You pushed off of him and moved closer to the other end of the bench.

"Why would you kiss me back Jae?!" You leaned forward and put your head in your hands as tears fell from your eyes.

You could hear the panic in his voice next to you, "Y/N I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-to-" he reached for you to comfort you like always but you swatted him away.

"No Jae, you shouldn't have done that! I was vulnerable and you shouldn't have kissed me back like you loved me!" You stood up and walked toward the exit.

"Y/N no, wait, please, I-I..." He chased after you and grabbed at your wrist before you could fully make it out of the area.

"I don't wanna hear it Jae, just take me home."

The ride home was quiet and the air was tense. You sat with your legs facing away from him as you stared out the window. You’ve known him long enough to know he would take small glances your way—trying to make it not seem so obvious—turning back before you caught a glimpse. You weren’t sure why it made you so upset, why you yelled at him the way he did at the party. He shouldn’t have done it, he should have been more careful.

“Uh Y/N, you’re home.”

You were so deep in thought and so caught up in trying to ignore him that your house suddenly seemed so close to the aquarium. “Thanks.” was all you said before opening your door and hopping out. You would try and talk to him if he stopped you before you closed the door; you would give him a chance. Yet he said nothing and that pissed you off more. Was he not worried about how you felt? Did he not care that you didn’t talk to him the whole ride? What was wrong with him? It didn’t matter, you understood. He didn’t think he was wrong and wasn’t going to apologize for it.

You heard him drive off after you closed the front door. You slid down to the floor and began crying again. Your mom walked into the foyer, rushing over to make sure everything was okay. “Y/N what happened? Is everything okay with Jaehyun?”

“I don’t want to talk about him anymore mom, he’s just another stupid boy!”

“How do I look?” You stood in your bathroom mirror, adding the final touches to your makeup and hair.

“You look gorgeous sweetie, as always.” Your mom stood in your room, watching you from the bathroom doorway. Her hands were clutched at her chest, tears welling up in her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay with having no date love?”

No, you weren’t okay with it but Damien was a no go and you still hadn’t spoken to Jae since last week. Your short but traumatizing history with boys has taken a toll on you. Prom was for girls to have their first dance with the boy they promised to be with forever and grow old with. Something that you apparently weren’t going to experience because as you’ve come to learn, boys are stupid.

“Have a great time honeybunch! Call me if you need a ride back!” Your mom yells out the window as she drops you off in front of the school. It was now or never, you only have prom once.

As expected, the vibes were quite nice, something that you’d expected from the countless times you’ve thought about it and also seeing it on TV. The music played loudly from the two big speakers that sat atop the stage at the back of the gym, which was the biggest and best spot to host such an event. You looked around seeing a few familiar faces but landing on one in particular. You hadn’t interacted much with Damien since you broke up with him or really thought much about him. He stood in a crowd, like usual, laughing and talking. As much as you still found him attractive, you’ll never forget how he took advantage of your kindness for his own benefit. You had heard that Sarah didn’t even want him back and told him that “trying to make her jealous” made him look pitiful. Serves him right.

You stood on the sidelines, occasionally blocking your eyes from the pink hued lights that shined brightly from the ceiling. Eventually growing tired of standing in one spot, you walked over to the punch bowl. Flashbacks from the night of the party twisted your stomach in knots; no drinks for tonight even if it wasn’t spiked. As you turned around, you nearly bumped into someone.

“Hey.” That tall, blonde haired boy you actually missed so much was standing in front of you, holding a bouquet of the same pink roses he tried giving you at the aquarium. “They had more and I didn’t want to not give them to you. I also wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Thanks for the flowers Jae.” Short and curt. If you didn’t know any better, he looked like he was going to cry but you know his feelings were just really hurt with not being able to talk to you or be your prom date like he previously wanted. “I’ll see you around.”

As the night went on, he couldn’t help but wonder where he went so wrong. He wasn’t even the one who initiated the kiss. It was beginning to stress him out not knowing how to deal with these feelings for you. You obviously didn’t feel the same way but part of him thought it might have changed after that kiss but he was far from the truth. He wished he could go back to that day and do nothing but would that have satisfied you or just made you hurt more? Having your best friend do more than the guy you dated but couldn’t even be courteous enough to kiss you back? He shouldn’t have kissed you at such a vulnerable time but they were your words not his. He’d have kissed you a million more times if that’s what you wanted or maybe that’s what he wanted.

“Aaaalright boys and girls or should I say ladies and gentlemen, go ahead and grab your partner for tonight; whether that be your prom date, a good friend or a once in a lifetime opportunity to confess your love to the person you’ve been watching all year. Let’s slow this music down a bit and end this night off with a bang!”

Jaehyun hadn’t imagined his night going like this. You practiced with him on countless nights, dancing across his or your floor, leading each other through a routine that you let your subconscious choreograph. To be able to hold you so closely and look into your eyes, he wanted to tell you then and there, each time, just how much you meant to him. He looked up and saw that you were already staring at him from across the room. Would you give him a second chance to apologize and make it up to you? Guess he had to find out.

He walked over to you and offered you a hand. Suddenly you were back in his room, laughing as you both messed up a move, stepping on each other’s toes and falling into each other. The world around you was quiet besides the music still playing through those big speakers. It was just you and Jae in this moment. You laid your head on his chest, feeling like you could hear his heartbeat. You looked up at him. He always had that look in his eyes like he was looking through a telescope and viewing the way the stars shined and the planets aligned.

“Y/N I have to tell you something.” His chest was moving fast and his eyes were frantically searching your face for approval.

“Yeah go ahead Jae.”

“I love you Y/N.”

“Yeah I love you too Jae.”

“No, Y/N. I love love you, not just because you’re my best friend but maybe even more because you’re my best friend. I can’t keep this to myself anymore, I fucking love you Y/N.”

Immediately you were more aware of everyone around you, the music blaring, the lights too bright and now you were stepping on his toes again.

You pushed away from him. “Jae what’s happening with you? Stop this.”

“Y/N please, I didn’t want to keep that from you. Those are my true feelings, I meant what I said.”

“Yeah and that’s your problem. What about my feelings huh? This is your 3rd strike Jae, I can’t do this anymore.”

Just then, a tap on your shoulder. It was Damien. “Hey Y/N, I know this is a terrible request but do you wanna dance with me since it’s the last day of school and all?”

You wanted to cringe and step away from both boys but you turned to look at Jae who watched for your reaction, “Y/N don’t.”

You rolled your eyes, turning back to your ex boyfriend “Sure Damien, I’d love to.”

[rip-cod-brainrot]

So I fed some pigeons and grackles/jackdaws today at the city station. This girl sits down next to me. And she’s apparently upset by the pigeons being near her, judging by the way she kept shooing them away with a frown.

Like. Girl. YOU are the one who sat next to the person obviously feeding pigeons. Who has pigeons literally diving under her feet to grab some peanuts. There are going to be pigeons. Why would you sit here if you do not want pigeon????

Anyways it’s so stupid funny I’m coming up with headcanons about how they (read: cod bois + maybe even perhaps some gals) will react sitting next to you, a stranger. Feeding pigeons

Characters; Price, Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Laswell, Alejandro, Rudy, Graves, Nikolai, Valeria, Makarov

PRICE -He doesn’t understand what you are doing. Aren’t pigeons dirty??? That one specifically looks like it has mange?????? -He is discreetly scooting away. Especially when the pigeons start hopping up to sit next to you on the bench to try and get more peanuts. He might shoo them away, but gently, with only furrowed eyebrows. -Says nothing to you, but also doesn't give you more than one confused look, because he's a gentleman.

GAZ -Yeah, he noticed the pigeons. Oh. Wait - he didn't see that you were feeding them. -He does panic internally - just a bit - when they start swarming your shoes as you drop some food. But then you just... giggle? Because the pigeons are... well, they are kind of cute. -Wait - never mind, one of them is staring at him with those beady red eyes. Never mind, they're more disconcerting than anything. Don't trust those gentle coos... they clearly hide evil pigeon intent

GHOST -??? Yeah there's somebody feeding pigeons, so what? The seat's free, he's gonna sit there. -Oh, the pigeons are starting to come closer to him because he's sitting still? Oh. Well. He doesn't mind that much. He'll just have to wash his clothes real well. Mites and all that. -Doesn't say anything, but he does give you a nod and a grunt when you compliment that they seem to like him. -Next time you're there he's feeding the pigeons too??? Who the fuck is this guy

SOAP -He is not discreet. He's leaning over curiously to try and look closer at the pigeons, eyebrows raised. -It's only a matter of time before he starts asking questions. "How'd you get them to come so close? Do you feed them that every time? How do you know they like it? What else do you feed 'em?" -He is actively excited by this Disney Princess(tm) shit happening in front of him. He might leave you with a torn out page of his sketchbook; a quick drawing of you, surrounded by the birds, smiling.

LASWELL -People feed pigeons all the time. Why should she care? She's just going to keep her distance and- -Oh, one of them hopped up next to her, and it's coming towards her. No, Kate doesn't have any feed for this thing, go away- -Actively goes to sit at the far end of the bench, putting her bag between herself and the birds. She does wave at them and wiggle her foot so that they don't come near her.

ALEJANDRO -Feeding the local wildlife? That's sweet. But can't they feed themselves? What the hell do pigeons eat anyways- -May or may not jump and shit himself when one of the pigeons suddenly flaps up to stand on his knee. Absolutely does not hurt the pigeons on purpose!! But if he swats a little too fast at one of them, he ain't missing, and he feels AWFUL about it. -Damn soldier reflexes. Next thing he knows he's holding a pigeon in his hands while you check it over, fussing over the thing even though it's looking around like nothing happened. -(Pigeon is ok btw. Turns out he just kinda... pushed it, and it flew back fast enough to avoid any real harm.)

RUDY -Oh he's absolutely into it, he knows the birds are hopping onto the bench and everything. He noticed it as he was coming up. -If one of them comes next to him or hops up onto his knee, he's smiling. But he does gently nudge them back over to you. "No tengo nada portigo, pajarito. Go to them." -Strikes up a conversation with you about what you're feeding them. You have a clear love for these birds, and he thinks it's wonderful that such love exists in the world.

GRAVES -Didn't even notice you were feeding pigeons. He just knows the damn things go everywhere, wherever they want. -Wait wtf you're feeding them? What are you, an old grandma???? Graves fully believes in the sky rat idea of pigeons. The hell are you doing??? -Jumps up when one of them flies right at him. "What in the hell-" -He has decided to sit somewhere else. Unless you strike him up in conversation and talk him down. (They're just birds, bro calm down)

NIKOLAI -Oh he sat next to you BECAUSE you're feeding birds. This looks like fun. -He asks if he can have a handful of the stuff so he can feed them, too. Or pulls out some spare packet of nuts he had in his pocket. He's enjoying feeding them, look at those little guys go. -He soon strikes up a conversation with you, smiling and laughing over the warm little birds so focused on getting the food that they're swarming around your feet.

VALERIA (because I think she would say smth 'bout it) -Didn't care that you're feeding the pigeons. Whatever. People do stuff like feed the wildlife in the city. Who cares. -Raises an eyebrow when one lands next to her, staring at her expectantly. "Que quieres? No tengo no comida portigo. Ve a tu amigo alli." -She brushes it away, back towards you. "You keep these birds too fat, they're gonna bother everybody, you know?" she hums. "You feed them every day?" -Soon enough, you're bantering back and forth. She likes a small conversation every once in a while, knowing that whatever civilian she's talking to hasn't the slightest idea how easily she could have them wiped from the face of the earth... MAKAROV (because I need more content of This Guy(tm)) -You're just another civilian doing civilian things. Feeding the birds. Yeah, whatever. -Frowns at the pigeons when they try to hop up next to him. Shoos them away, not out of any real malice, but in slight annoyance. -That annoyance does spill over, though. But at you. "Why are you feeding them? These are wild animals, do you think they cannot feed themselves?" -If you're just like 'they're cute', then he scoffs and ignores you for the rest of the time he has to wait. He refuses to move. But if you have a logical reason - "I want to make sure they're eating something that they can actually digest, and the more I feed them, the more often I can check to see if they're sick" - then he's pretty intrigued. Maybe you're not a stupid civilian, at least.

[fawnyflower]

little!nat headcanons

-> boyre, tboy he/him nat, cg!lottie, pre and post crash teen tl, some allusions to past parental abuse

★ Nat is a boy when he’s regressed! Super uncomfortable with feminine nicknames like sweetheart/princess/sweetie (in no small part because that was what his dad would call him) and prefers to be called things like bug, buddy, or sweet boy (if he’s being sweet, which is not always). Likes to play outside and roughhouse, loves dinosaurs and cars, and refuses to wear anything other than a big sweater or t-shirt and shorts. Does have a soft spot for puppies and flowers and the color pink but would NEVER admit it :p

★ He’s usually about 3 or 4, but he sometimes slips younger when he feels either really comfortable (like when he’s with Lottie in bed) or really upset (like after he has a particularly bad nightmare). Sometimes he feels bad for being littler than most of the other yj littles but Lot, who is even smaller when regressed, is quick to reassure him that it’s okay to be tiny!!

★ When he’s not with Van (who makes him crazy) he is sooo sleepy. Just a sleepy little dude! He loves naptime and stories and having a sippy cup of milk before bed. His favorite place pre-crash to take naps is Lottie’s big bed in front of her sunny window in midday…he will curl up with her and snooze while she plays with his hair and does her homework. Post crash, when it’s warm out, he likes to take his naps in the shade of a tree or in a big field. Still on Lottie’s lap, of course.

★ He is SO clingy. He tries to play it off but even when he’s not little he’s a huge cuddlebug. He loves to be held the most, but he also loves holding hands or pinkies with somebody and getting picked up. (Lottie is the only one who can carry him, and she can’t take him very far, but he giggles so much and melts into her every time she does.) Total mama’s boy, always clinging on to her or at least holding the hem or arm of her shirt.

★ Sometimes he lashes out when he’s little, especially post-crash. He’s not always very good at listening to directions, he doesn’t always realize when he’s small and his feelings start to feel way too big for him, and sometimes he just feels like he needs to throw a fit. Lottie would never punish him for it, though, even when he’s cursing and throwing things, because they understand that he just needs to be reassured and held until he feels better. She’ll always open her arms, sit next to him, and quietly talk him down, inevitably ending with him crying his eyes out in her arms and frantically trying to apologize. It’s a really heartbreaking sight. After his meltdowns, he’s extra sensitive, and usually spends some time just crying into Lottie’s neck while she rubs his back. “It’s okay, bubba, I could never be mad at you, shh…”

★ He has a wolf plushie, the one and only possession he kept from childhood, named Ginger. She goes everywhere with him when he’s little, tucking her under one arm while he runs around, or holding her tight in both arms during nap time. Ginger even eats with him (he hands her little bits of his food and then eats them for her). He doesn’t let anyone touch Ginger, except for sometimes Lottie when she’s small and he’s big, so she really could use a bath. Nat loves her just the same.

(Side note: plushies are one of my spintrests and I spent a really really long time looking for 1980s wolf plushies for the header pics. Ginger is a Dakin 11” Wolf plush, produced ~1970-1980! I like to imagine she was a collective birthday present from Van and Nat’s other childhood friends when Nat was in his wolf phase. Special thanks to LilMissAleu on DA for the pic I used for the cover: here)

★ When he wants to be, he’s a little rascal. He’s great at pranks: only little ones, like hiding Lottie’s keys or putting his dinosaurs in places where she’ll find them and get startled. He falls over giggling every time. He also loves to cheekily refuse things; “Bud, do you wanna have some dinner?” “NO! That’s YUCKY!” but before she knows it he’s grabbing food off her plate and eating it with a big grin. Lottie loves humoring him and pretending to be APPALLED (never upset, though, he couldn’t handle that).

★ He’s really shy about it, but after a long time having Lottie as his carer, he worked up the courage to ask her if she would be willing to bathe him sometime, and discovered how insanely comfortable it made him. He loves his baths so much :( Even when he’s not dirty, he likes to have a bath before bedtime, because it makes him feel super safe and loved. Lottie has a big tub, bubbles, floaty toys (dinosaurs, and some letter blocks for when he’s feeling really little), and she’s always so, so gentle with him, washing his hair and tipping his head back to keep soap out of his eyes… In the wilderness, she sometimes gives him baths in the giant tub they have (don’t..don’t think about it too hard) and it’s still perfect, even without all the toys and even the soap. Sometimes he gets extra sleepy and falls asleep in the tub, having to be gently woken up to get into bed. “Come on, little love, let’s get you in your nice and cozy blankies...”

★ He doesn’t feel comfortable having a lot of people know about his regression. He’s very skittish and more of a one-caregiver type of little. He doesn’t mind having Tai take care of him and Van together, though, and he LOVES when Lottie’s there to be a mama to Tai’s babysitter sort of role. The only other one who knows is Misty (she walked in once) but he adamantly refuses to let her anywhere near him while he’s little. Frankly, if he didn’t know so many of her secrets, he’d worry she would snitch. Lottie is more than okay with being his primary and more or less only cg! It works both ways, too — she doesn’t caregive for other littles, and when she’s little, she basically only hangs out with Nat.

[titaneus]

The offer made her blink for a moment before she smiles and nods her head. He may look rough around the edges but this guy was surprisingly sweet. "If it's not any trouble, it would put my mind at ease if you did." Normally the town was relatively safe excluding the hollows, but there were the occasional group of punks that roamed the streets from time to time. And just like with Hollows she was good at avoiding them. But it would be nice if she didn't have to worry about slipping away for once. "I'll be sure to keep in touch then, feel free to shoot me a chat if you're ever bored and shortstack's not available to hang out."

"If you don't have anything planned for the day then do you want to tag along with me? I'll even treat you to lunch if you like." She wasn't sure if Arrancars needed to eat, but if he decided to tag along she wanted to at least treat him for his time. She's pulling out her keys as she starts flicking off the lights in the clinic. Looking over the counter, making sure everything was put away, before she makes her way to the front entrance. White boots stop by the double doors as she waits for her new acquaintance to see when he's ready to go.

"I just need to pick up some groceries for the week. It shouldn't take me more than an hour or two, but if you get bored partway through you don't have to stick around."

Grimmjow wasn't quite sure why she seemed genuinely surprised that he had a phone. Didn't everyone have one by this point? Seeing her charms didn't seem to surprise him at all. A strawberry and two small creatures of some kind that he wasn't overly familiar with his phone had just a gothic 6 charm, he liked it. It was his number his lucky number, even. Not that many people, including Ichigo were aware that he considered it his lucky number at all. "Yer welcome ta message me anytime, if I'm busy I won't respond right away, but I ain't busy as often as I used ta be." He did keep busy when he needed to but for the most part he was usually free.

"It's more or less trainin' ta keep in shape just in case somethin' happens more than us just beatin' one another up." He'd let loose a small chuckle as he said that, not worried that she'd think anything bad about it. He couldn't say Ichigo was essentially his best friend if they spent a great deal of time trying to murder one another, right?

He'd chuckle at her talking about Isshin as a 'crazy old man' she wasn't wrong. He was insane, but his heart was in the right place. "Who knows, maybe ya are a Kurosaki, even if it ain't an official name ya have attached ta ya. It wouldn't shock me if Isshin considered me one even though I've got my own last name." He spent enough time around the family that he was like another son even if he'd never, ever let Isshin get away with calling him that. He wasn't desperate for a family.

He'd call her Tania if she preferred. If she decided that she didn't like being called by her full name he'd have no issues calling her what she wanted to be called. He wasn't that much of an asshole that he'd disrespect someone who wanted to be called something else.

"Ya need any help gettin' th' place locked up? I can do a scan of th' outside if needed, though I can't really see any strange people lurkin' outside the clinic." The fact that he knew what it was tended to surprise some people. Not everyone. Ichigo had explained to him that his crazy old man was a doctor. At her saying he could stay around to wait for Ichigo he'd let loose a hum. "I dunno what he's up to or who he's with, so there ain't really any reason fer me ta stick around if he's busy. He's got my number, he can text or call me whenever he has time fer me again." He didn't want to force the redhead to hang out if he was actually trying to date someone. The last thing he wanted was for the other to accuse him of being a cockblock.

He'd chuckle as she mentioned that she hoped it wasn't another ten years before they could chat again. "Nah, it won't be that long. I'm around Karakura a lot so yer welcome ta message me if ya wanna chat at any time."

[oceantornadoo]

Hello… Uhm. This is my first time requesting, lol. I was wondering if you could maybe… do a part 3 to that one fluff thing with the reader liking Simon bigger in size? I adore it so far. You don’t have to though! I was just hoping you could.

since the holidays have a lot of eating, i decided to make this christmas fluff

previous parts here (it's called "i like you big")

tw: simon has unhealthy eating habits

"since we have to be here over the holidays, we're doing a movie marathon. christmas movies only!" you announced cheerfully to the groaning task force. it was a rare night on base where everyone was together, and you wanted to spread some holiday spirit. "and i bought cookies." that got some cheers, thankfully. you took the cookies out of the locked cabinet, a necessity when surrounded by ravenous soliders, and set them in the common room near the tv. you went all out: sugar cookies, chocolate peppermint ones, raisins for price (as part of his old man tendencies), scottish shortbread, and british tea cookies for your favorite brits.

"cheers, love," simon murmured. you tucked your head to nod, afraid he'd see how easily the term of endearment heated your face. instead, you busied yourself setting up your favorite christmas movie (elf, of course) and passing out plates to everyone. it was self-serve, so you stood back as your task force attacked the table with a single-minded vigor you only saw on the battlefield. curiously, simon only had one cookie on his plate, a british tea one. you took your usual seat next to him on the sofa, grinning as soap and gaz started debating the reality of a human surviving the north pole in only tights.

"only one, si?" you whispered, nodding to his plate. at that exact moment, you heard his stomach grumble. he didn't have his mask on so you could see how his cheeks got a little pinker at the sound. "not 'ungry." you frowned. instead of replying, you reached for your own plate, taking one of each cookie until it was stacked full. his arm was around the back of the couch so you tucked yourself in further. the chocolate peppermint cookie was delicious, and you couldn't hold back the small moan you let out at the taste. simon stiffened by your side, uncomfortableness radiating off him in waves. "sorry. it's jus' so good." your mouth was slightly full, this time with the scottish shortbread. "bonnie, ye got shortbread?" soap asked earnestly. "yeah, i figured it would be nice to have a taste from home. not sure if you actually eat these or if it's just a stereotype but..." soap smiled wide with a boyish grin. "our thoughtful girl, gettin' cookies fer all of us. thanks, bon." you smiled back, tucking yourself further into simon as he hummed in agreement.

"plus, i think everyone deserves extra treats during the holidays. animals gain winter weight, why shouldn't we?" you added as an afterthought. price snorted in agreement. gaz made a comment to him that earned him a whack to the back of his head. you snuck a look at simon, who was staring off into the distance, ignoring buddy's journey on the tv screen. "si?" you nudged him a little. "s'ppose y'r right. an' y' put all this thought into these." you gave him a small smile that he returned, a rarity from your lieutenant. he shifted on the couch, leaning forward to grab two more cookies from the table, decidedly ignoring the scottish ones. he took a bite of the sugar cookie in the shape of a christmas tree and closed his eyes contentedly. "good, si?" he nodded, his shoulders loosening and his body sinking into the sofa. "yeah, love. real good."

this was short but the rest of them has been as well so i hope you enjoy :) this was also the first time i've written holiday fluff <3

[weirfq1]

with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo